Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Rob Beckett

Episode Date: July 19, 2018

Emily goes out with comedian Rob Beckett and Goose, a dachshund who was rehomed via the Dog’s Trust. Rob chats about growing up in South East London and takes Emily for a stroll past his childhood home, they also talk about the family atmosphere that sparked his comedy career, and the importance of mindfulness.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'd been going to have about year, year and a half, so first proper serious relationship. And George's like, it's so funny. You like listen to all to have music. Well, man loves a woman. And I'll just sit in there going, oh yeah, it's bloody fate in it. Even the bloody playlist at the hospital knows. This week on Walking the Dog, I went out with Comic,

an all-round ray of South East London sunshine, Rob Beckett. Rob doesn't have a dog, so we took out an adorable dashound called Goose, who was originally rehomed by the very brilliant Dogs Trust, and for more information on them, by the way, you can go to dogstrust.org.uk. Rob is honestly one of the nicest and most authentic people I'd probably ever come across in show business. And if you're listening, Rob, yes, okay, also one of the funniest too.

He showed me around his childhood manner where he still lives. Actually, we went past the house he grew up in. And it felt like going around Penny Lane with Paul McCartney. There was so much local love thrown off. way. I really hope you enjoy the walk with Rob as much as I did. And if you did, please rate, review and subscribe on iTunes. And for more info, all about Rob's upcoming projects, do go to Robbeckettcomedy.com. Anyway, enough about me. Here's Rob. Rob, have you got goose then? I've got goose. Is this a start? We started. Are you going to take goose? Are you happy with

that? What, to walk with her? Yeah. Yeah. To hold a leave. Yeah. I think it'll be right. I think if you gave me a Doberman, I'll be a bit concerned. But I think I should be able to take on. What's this? sausage dog, dashound. Short air dashound. Hey, shall I introduce you? Yes, please. So I'm with the very wonderful Rob Beckett. I'm really thrilled about this.

I've been wanting to get this boy for ages. Yeah. He's invited me to, we'll have to say, the actual area. Yeah, this is South East London. This is, I grew up in Mottenham. So it's a park near Mottenham, very near my house. Sorry, Rob to interrupt. What's going on here?

This is like a personal training session, I think, from a man either in the army or he just wears army clothes. Yeah, he's got combat for us. Yeah, they're doing like a boot camp. There's a boot camp, so basically, this set the scene. There's a clubhouse being built, a tennis court, a school. I used to go to that school. Oh, did you?

Well, my first year, so five I was. My mum went to parents' evening and the teacher said, right, where should he start with Rob? He's never going to be a high flyer. Why don't you pop down early learning centre and get him some shapes. colours and number books. And my mum went,

who beep do you think you are, telling me that my favourite realise, so she took me out of that school and went to another one. Oh, did she? Straight after that parent's evening. Come on, Goose. Oh, Rob, shall we introduce the dog as well? Yes, sorry.

So we should say, no, Rob doesn't have a dog. No. Which will get on to the reasons why. Yes. So today we've taken out Goose. Goose is very cute. Who's the sausage dog slash dashound. Dashound.

From the dog's trust. Yes. And Goose has been re-home now. That music you can hear is builders, I think. They're loving life. Yeah. It's the morning of the England World Cup semi-final. Yeah.

So there's a lot of weird tension at the moment, I think, around the country. Yeah, there is, isn't it? I think people are doing weird things to... Goose ain't having it, isn't? What do you make of Goose so far? Tell me your first impressions of this, Tinder Day. Well, as soon as I saw Goose is the cutest dog I've seen, hopefully she's already been rehomed because I'll want her.

but then after five minutes I'm like God it's a pain in it I've already got two kids that won't let me walk now Goose is so what do you do what happens on a dog walk do you let the dog go where it was or do you stick to it up because I'm I don't know what

at the moment Have you ever taken a dog on a dog I've never taken a dog for a dog walk Is this your first dog walk? It's my first dog walk I'm really excited Yeah I know it's quite intense one I'm miced up

there's three people following us and England are playing later But how did goose get her name? Does she get the name from the dogs trust? I mean, should we ask the dog's trust lady? How did goose get their name goose? Oh. Oh, goose.

So if you couldn't hear that, the dog's trust lady just said she was called gooseberry. Yeah. And from a litter and that, and then they shortened it to goose. And you said she was smuggled in? Okay, I thought she might have been the co-pilot. That's why she's called goose. But she's really lovely. I really love.

Did you have dogs growing up, Rob? No. My mum hates animals. Does she? Yeah. My mum's like, my mum hates anything that sort of involves outside. Like, you know, outside activities, like dog walking off. We went, oh, that's a massive shit, isn't it?

That's longer than a dog. That's too big, isn't it? What's the protocol here then? Have I got to do that? Have you ever had a live dirt before on the show? Well, that was immediate, wasn't it? When I did the podcast... I was a dog's trust lady going in for it.

Dogs trust, I feel like I should do it. When I did the... I did the next one. When I did the podcast... podcast with Lee Mac and the dog did a poo. Lee Mac won't call the police. He was genuinely terrified. I don't know you can put up with this.

I've got kids and I've seen them do those. So go on. So your mum, and this was in Mottingham. They grew up in Peckham and stuff like that. So we're very London-y. Even though we moved out to like Zone 3, it's very London-y, very London-South-east London working-class ethics.

We never went camping. Yeah. And we went once and it was 15 minute drive from our house and every at night my mum come home and went a bed and had a shower and then come up the next day so just me and my dad and brothers were in the tent

can I say I have real respect for your mum I would have done that as well Big Soos does whatever she wants when she wants and did your mum work Rob was she a mum basically she was a mum at the start she was an Avon lady and then she got a job She's an Avon lady that's brilliant She got a job in where she worked she worked in her

Alpington College So like a goose Goosey! She's a bit nervous, isn't she? I know, but I feel I have a kinship with her because I'm short-legged as well. She knows I've got no idea what I'm doing. She can sense it. Do you think she smells incompetence?

Oh, she can smell incompetence like no one's business. It's as long as we can smell something else after what just happened. Can you go right? They've changed all this. The park used to be over there and now they've got a massive park. That's alright. To this. What's going on here? There's a kid's playground here, isn't it?

Yeah. I think we can do a right in a minute and get to the moon. So go on. So you've got Sue is... Mrs. Becker. Mrs. Beckett. And then my dad, Dave. He was a lorry driver until he tipped a lorry and fractured his skull. And then he got a made redundant for tip of the lorry.

And then he's a cab driver. But that must have been frightening, Rob, when he fractured a skull. I was really young, but my dad's very... Get on with it type of person. Should we do it right down here? Yeah, shall we? This way. We'll go through the woods.

We'll follow you. And did you ever go in the... cab with him yeah used to when I first started comedy used to pick me up after gigs really and stuff which was uh Andy yeah we also yeah we always just going the cab and another lot meant him driving me around on his lorry and stuff as well and you had four brothers four brothers yeah so my dad was married before so I've got three older one one younger oh right okay but you all lived it did you all live together not all no that I live with two of them but because they're a lot older the two eldest right so I've got one

who's six years older and then another one who's like I've got brother like 50 Really? Yeah, I'm 32. Yeah, so he was up 20 years older. Yeah, so they're all quite spread. So growing up in like a big family like that. Yeah. Like Jonathan Ross, I'm not saying it's similar,

but, you know, he was not far from this part of the world and had like a load of brothers. And do you think that makes you an extravert? Do you think that makes you kind of like, like you're almost prepping for panel shows from a really young age? 100%. You've got a fight to be heard.

And if you don't fight, you're just not heard. Yeah. And also, as a very big extended family, aunties and uncles and cousins. Everyone's mouthy, everyone's funny, and everyone's, like, got a funny story. Everyone wants to be looked at. Everyone's an attention seeker. So, like, you just had to fight sort of for attention.

Yeah. So I've got massive middle child syndrome. Have you? Have you? Have you? Well, it was interesting, because I read an interview with you once, and you were, it might have been, you've been interviewed on something, and you were just saying how, when you did jobs, which will get onto all the jobs you did before comedy, but you could charm

the boss. And so you sort of blagged it because of that, but actually you couldn't sit down and do the work. Oh, no, I was terrible. In an office, I'd be awful at it. Yeah, I was very good at making it. I'm very good at getting in an interview and doing well, making everyone sort of quite like me. So that, because I knew I didn't have the ability to do the job.

So I thought if they all like me, at least they'll either help me or take pity on me. And it got to the end, though. Bless it, I'm still friends of her now, my old boss. Which job was this, though, because you did a few? I worked at an event management company putting on events, organizing corporate events, right? So I'd bring up an hotel and go, I need a room, can I have a jug of orange juice.

Oh, it's going to be $8,000, I'll give you six. I'll like deal, seven. That was my job. Hated it. And then, because I was doing comedy, it was going quite well, like gig and stuff. I had to miss stuff in the day to do auditions and writing and that. I used to say to my boss,

I've got an audition, I needed some time off. She was like, when? I'm like, this afternoon. You know what it's like, stuff comes in last minute. She went, well, you can't. I went, well, I'm going to, I'm going to go, and then they sort it out tomorrow. And they just said, you better leave.

Were you ambitious, Rob? Not at all until I started doing comedy. Literally just floating along, getting drunk, basically. I was an absolute, yeah, just boozing, boozing. I feel like I would have gone down the Frank Skinner route, but I found out I wanted to do comedy earlier than a year. Well, they're kind of waking up on the Central Reservation. Yeah, exactly.

But I only had a take, because I started at 23. Right. Doing comments. So I've been doing it nine years, nine years. I think I'm dyslexic. There's a lot of dyslexia in my family. My brother's been diagnosed with my dad. My dad's got it.

My niece. And I think I've got it. But I've got such strong coping mechanisms from, you know, dealing with stuff verbally. So I'll just ring someone. Even now when everyone's texting, I'll just ring and sort stuff out that way. So I just relied on that.

Yeah. But yeah, I wasn't very academic. I can't sit. I get so bored. So feeling out of form feels me of absolute horror. Does it? And I hate it. And I can't sit down and write a essay.

I don't really care. and stuff. So, yeah, I wasn't very academic at all, but I worked really, I've always been a hard work, or even if I weren't very good, I always did my best. So you're, well, you describe yourself as like a grafter? 100% more than anything. Well, since now, for the last nine years, I've done five gigs a week. Really? Work non-stop and I just, it's about four years my life. Yeah. I've got no pop culture references, because all I did was comedy or sleep. It's basically like you're in a coma.

I swear in my life, that's how it feels like. Honestly, things pop up. And they're like, you know, like, I go, no. Absolutely. The Olympics. The London Olympics, I don't know, I don't know anything about that. I didn't watch the opening ceremony of clothes. I didn't watch any of it because I was knee deep in comedy. Honestly, I've got no idea. I love that you miss whole chunks. Yeah. Oh, look, here's a dog here. Oh, it's a big dog, look. It's a nice big wood to really. So we should explain, shouldn't we? There's a lovely dog. Hello, what kind of dog is that?

Hello, you're right. Is he a bit scared? You see everybody, you have to say a lord It tends to lunge a bit Oh, he lunges a bit Oh, I know men like that Yeah We all have ones like that Who's this then?

This is goose Oh god, look Big boy to lunge Isn't it? See, I don't know the etiquette of this What, when they lung? Dogs sniffing each other All I think of

This is going to be a fight All I think it's going to kick off And all of a sudden I'm covering in blood with two dead dogs And then that's what's going to be in the paper You think it's like lockstock Yeah, congratulations to go on the dogs. My only experience of dogs growing up was staff. What makes that dog?

What mate? What was that? It's a golden retriever. A golden retriever. He's bigger though, isn't he? For a golden retriever? Are you sure? Oh, I don't know. Is that small for golden? I thought it was quite big. Yeah. Nice to meet you. Bye-bye.

Cheers, bye-bye. I mean, she said it was a golden retriever. I've got to be honest. I've never seen a golden retriever like that. It had hair like Annie. It was bright ginger. Yeah. A head as big as my entire chest. That dog's head was massive, and it was about two foot tall.

She's been sold. She's been sold. She's been sold a mongrel. And also, it's the truth is like, oh no, he's fine. He just stops and lunges at people. That's not what a dog does. Stop and lunges. That is not okay.

It's an issue that if human did that, you wouldn't just accept it as one of their quirks, would you? No. You imagine that? I'm just walking along with you and then we see another group of people and I have to hold you back and go, don't mind her, she just sort of lashes out. She's a lash her out. It's fine, no, she's only when she sees people.

She lashes out. Goose is a bit nervous, so let's keep her away from this sort of lungy bastards. They're all... Do you think you have got ADHD? Yeah, I think so. Or, yeah, I'm just hyperactive. I can't stop. I had to go to a speech therapist because I just mumble and I still do a bit now where I say words so

There's so much to get out and then I don't listen to people, Emily, at all I'm doing is thinking of something else or Lou, my wife tells me off about it all the time when I'm just not listening to you're just not listening to me and I go, I'm not, am I? I can't help it and yeah, so it's like my brain just jumps onto the next thing and next thing like that's why when I'm doing stand-up, I'm sort of talking but you're formulating the next, I'm working out about eight different things as I'm doing it because

so it sort of helps with that. Well, you've got racing thoughts. Yeah. So it's that thing of your constantly thinking of the next thing. next, does that make you kind of impatient when people are talking sometimes? Do you think, do you sort of think, why is it taking you so long? I've got to stage my life now. If someone's not funny, I cannot, I can't spend any time with them. I'm not, you think I'm going to sit here and have a chat and you've not got a punch on it into that anecdote.

This is a wait. Why am I wasting my time? This conversation is pointless. There's absolutely, unless I'm getting information I need, like, where's the shops there? Great, that's fine. I don't need a bit of banter for that. But if we're just sitting down chatting or going for a drink, how's it going? Yeah, it's all right. We're just, we're buying it. I was just waiting for the surveyor to come from. What you want me to do with that? That's not fun, is it? So I've got a lot harsher recently.

I'm just like, cutting people out, I'm like, I'm not doing that. Especially with kids, we have to have NCT, go to NCT. Should I have a look on this map and see where we can go there? Oh yeah, let's have a look at the map. Oh, Rob, I like looking on that. You know, it's very 70s. People don't really do that anymore. We'll look on a map, yeah.

Come here, Goose. Come here, Goosey. Goose is a bit nervous of maps. Bloody millennial. In Victor Close is where I grow up. See what, let's go down there. Let's do a lap, all that, and then we'll come back around to where I used to live. Oh, I'd love that.

I'd love to see your old house. So go on, yeah, so the NCT people. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So they're lovely, like, but it's just hard because you can't like, God, I don't, I don't, it's hard to say. Don't want anyone listening, do you? It's just like, it's hard, though, because, like,

you're not going to get on everyone. So if you meet, like, eight new people. I know. And then sometimes you're, like, pals of people with kids, And you're like, oh, God, like, you can't choose your friends of kids, your kids are friends with. But I just get very frustrated if I'm chatting something, they're not funny. Everyone in my house is funny, like all my family are. Yeah.

If we're not laughing at the end of the sentence, what are we doing? What are we getting at? What we, do you know what I mean? Like, I don't need my ego sort of like massage by saying a really interesting political point. And I'm going to go, well done. Oh, my God, I don't care. It's just, I just want to have a laugh and go to bed. I don't.

That's why the worst thing comics do is when they start getting political. Because they get to a point where you do well and you're really funny. And then like, they start going, let's change your world now. No, just be funny. No one cares. I want to be taken seriously. Why? Why have we got the best job in the world where we don't have to be?

When you were growing up, Rob, do you remember the point at which you thought, I remember asking about Lucasist about when you realised you were funny? And he said he remembered being with a bunch of school friends and doing impressions of the teachers. and everyone laughing and him having that sense of, okay, this is good. Yeah. I don't, I don't, wait, it's hard.

Everyone in my family's funny. Like, we're always being funny in love. So I didn't really know, I knew I was sort of, we were all funny, but I didn't, like, at school, you know, I didn't really feel much funnier in anyone else. What I did used to do is people used to watch comedy and then used to quote it at school as like their own bit of banter. And I'd be like, that's Lee Evans.

That's Eddie Murphy. Yeah. Because I was absolutely obsessed. I used to record VHSs. off of the telly, my combi telly, onto a minidisc, and listen to comedy when I went to sleep. Yeah. So I think that helped my timing,

because it's sort of just in my brain. Would you be the person at the, you know, I'm imagining this big dinner table and lots of noise and the boys? Well, it's not even a dinner table, which is where you could find a space. It's on the floor, on the sofa, in the hallway,

where your head pop around the door, a little small front room. The door was always open, so people would come in and come out and it was always rammed, you know. Yeah. But that's a nice environment If we're off in

Oh I love it, yeah Well that's the thing like This is a class thing Where I could just go around To someone else I know growing up And just knock and go Hello, you're right And just walk in, right?

Is anyone I'm at my wife I realise that's socially not acceptable For middle class people You have to prearrange You've got like you can't just turn up And then I was writing This episode thing in a sitcom And I had a chat with the BBC Sidburn

And I said Yeah so and then the vacation I went But there's people just sort of turning up At the caravan Like should they just be able It's a bit weird why are they all just walking in and go,

that's what people do? And then you think we should set this up so people know that that's the thing? I was like, no, because people know. There's just not enough working class people in telly to know that that's a thing. So I don't need to telegraph it because everyone at home knows that that's what happens.

But that's quite nice having that sense of community, though, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, no, it was lovely. I loved it. And that's why I want our house to be like, people just come around and I don't know where we're going now. I think we've missed a loop. Okay, it's all right, Rob. Let's not panic.

I tell we can go this way, get back to where I used to live. Shall we? Do you want to do that? Yeah. Yeah, I like that idea of everyone just piling in. I like a busy house, not a tidy house. I remember, when I first moved out,

I'd put something down because I shared a flat with like two other people. And I'd put like something down on the table. If it was still there when I got home, I'd freak out. Because I'd never lived in a house like that. I could go to sleep in the middle of spaghetti junction, right? I remember, I used to share it with my brother. My dad would just walk in like midnight where he'd been working. And my brother would come in at one in the morning

and stop playing FIFA. And I'm in bed. And I go, Mom, because you're all, shut up. I mean, I think that makes you, I don't know, I think people from big families, they tend to be quite well adjusted. I mean, not always. You don't get everything in.

But I just think when there's a lot of you and you have to muck in, particularly if I'm honest, when there's not much, you know, and it's not a hugely privileged. No, I know, yeah. Well, like, we weren't in poverty, but we didn't have a lot of money.

And I didn't realize that until I met other people. Yeah, I would describe your childhood as happy from what you said. Oh, brilliant. Yeah. You know, you say like, it wasn't as privileged, not enough money, but like, I didn't know, all my mates were the same. We were actually the ones that have done well out of our family, because we're like, mott in them quite, it's quite close to Chisler's, which is quite rich.

So we were in like the posh bit. My mum used to still write West Chisler's on our address. And you were saying when we met, when we met here, you said, you were trying to describe the kind of area this is. Like, it feels quite villagey and well to do. well to do. It's weird. It's sort of like people for it. There's no proper train station. It's a bit hidden away the train stations around here. So it's a lot of builders live around here or people that made their money and they don't have to commute, if you know what I mean.

Oh yeah, yeah. Oh, I see almost robbers if they don't have an office. Yeah. Or any tax return? Yeah. Yeah. So it's just a bit like a bit buildery, self-made. It's a bit like Brentwood in Essex. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what it's like. Everyone's a bit. of a geyser. We've got a pram behind. Should we let her pass? I'm so sorry. After you, sorry.

So education-wise, what point did you think? How old were you when you sort of thought? You used to watch these videos and you knew you were funny and you had, I have a theory that I call it the look at me gene. So some people have it and you know instantly when you meet them. Some people aren't even doing look at me jobs but they've got the look at me jean. Yeah. Well, I used to wander around the office just basically into comedy at people to stand up and stuff. I didn't realise I was doing that until, like in the pub, I was pathetic.

The absolute pathetic, look at me, love me, I need attention, lunatic. You know the idiot? You know that every infill sketch with a guy in the office with the wacky tile? Like, that's me. That was me in an office. Anything for attention. Yeah. But then basically, because when I grew up, no one did anything in the arts or creative, right?

So it was like, grow up and be a taxi driver. I used to work at the Columbia Road Fair Market, my brother, or you've got a trade. So all my mates are like from around here like gas fitters or plumbers and stuff like that. But then basically when it got to like 18, it was the Tony Blair era of, do you want to go uni? Got any qualification, it does not matter me. Which is amazing. So I went to Canterbury and did tourism and got drunk for three years. He did tourism?

Tourism. Oh great degree. It's absolutely pointless. Yeah, but I bet you're great at knowing where to get flights. I'm not. I'm going to getting drunk in Canterbury. That's my one. So it was essentially that was just sort of putting your life on hold for four years.

was it or was it just thinking? It was because I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. So I did that and then I got and then I just did a series of office jobs. I worked at cricket clubs in pubs. I went to travel around Europe for a bit and then there's a bloke down here. It lives down here. Go on. He calls himself the sheriff of Mottenham.

He's a bit of a local lad in the pubs and he gets young with me because people always say like, I'm from Mottenham and he's supposed to be the big lad from Mottenham. Oh it's like, yeah. He's the only look at me. You're the only look at me in the village. I know. You've ruined it for him. I've absolutely ruined it.

So, I just loved comedy, right? And then I got dumped by a girl, right? You know, you're first dump in, and then you just really like depressed and love. You know, it's awful. How old were you then? 21. I'd be going to have about year or year and a half. First proper serious relationship.

And you're just like, it's so funny. You like listen to all sad music. Looking back now, it's hilarious how sad you are. At the time, you think you're going to die. What was the music? I'd like to know your sad music. Oh, no. Because I remember, I remember, I was going for an appointment somewhere,

I was going to sit in there like that. And then you know it's going to end it. And it was that Percy Sledge. So, when a man loves a woman. And I was just sitting there going, oh yeah, it's just bloody fate in it. Even the bloody playlist that the hospital knows. Also, I like that you pick something, which is a little bit kind of cheesy coffee had as well. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Oh, yeah, but there was loads of others. And so why did she dump you? I hate her. Well, what's funny was. It was because I wasn't ambitious enough. Well, she just got a sales job And was earning decent money in town But I didn't want to do that

I've never been bothered about money really I've never had it So I don't know I'd be alright Well, you've never had it The foot never having it Don't really scare you Yeah Because you never have

I'm hey alright You get such a nice response Don't you roll around here Yeah, they're all nice people England are doing one in the cup Isn't it? But it seems nice though Because it's not that kind of

It feels respectful Yeah Do you know what I mean It's like you're sort of lord of the manner in a way. You know what I mean? I'm on the main road now. We're on the main road now.

So we're doing right in a minute. This is where I grow up. Oh my God, I'm so excited. Tell me about that girl. Go on. Oh, yeah. No, she just had a sales show in London and she was like, well, too, fair.

We weren't very well matched anyway. It was just, it wasn't anything horrible. She was just like, oh, we stop working out. But when it's the first person you've gone out with, you get really upset. So anyway, I was just like, I remember, I don't know why I did it. I just emailed up the Creek Comedy Club

and said, oh, can I do a spot? And went, yeah, this weekend. And then I thought, oh, I don't know how to do it or not. And I remember waiting to pick my brother up from the train station. That's a swift song, Ask, come on. Oh, yeah. Shireness is nice. Shyness can stop you.

Because I was very anxious and shy as a child. Were you? Yeah, yeah. So I've had to work very hard to just convince myself I'm confident and now act confident. So that asks me, shyness is nice, but shyness can stop you doing what you want to do. So yeah, I'll do it. So I went, yeah, I'll do it. And then I got there and I had two pints at interval.

That song came on in the interval. And then when I did the gig, and then when I did Amos for my last tour, My mate, my support, Lloyd, just put shuffle on his phone. That song come on. Really? That song's been following me about. Yeah, it's interesting you said you were shy when you were growing up there, because now I'm, I've got this impression of you being like noisy, bustling, big family of boys.

Yeah. So the shy thing, what was that? Outside of home? Oh, yeah, more outside of home. Yeah. But I was quite fat as a kid, which doesn't help. Yeah. It's only thing, you just grow up and get more confidence you grow up.

And also, I was well, around here. I love it around here, but it's all like, can you fight or can you play football and have you got a Rolex? That's like the three things that make a mad. And there's no space for anything else, really. Like, a couple of my mates, Danny and Logged, last year it was, they didn't know what a podcast or Uber was.

Not that they don't get them. They didn't even know what it was. And I'm like, are you serious? So as soon as I left this area, it's a bit of a weird bubble. I like them because they're like sort of 65-year-old men. Yeah, that's what's great. That's what you do, like, around here, you get old quick. You know, not in that sense of one, but like, you sort of get your house,

you sort of settle into the same routine as what your parents did and stuff. But then you've settled down quite young, haven't you? Because how old are you? Not by my family standards. Really? No, I'm 32. And, yeah, I've been married about four or five years. And you've got two kids?

Yeah, yeah. But I'm very, if I know, I trust my gut. And if I know it's right, I'll just make the decision. I won't ever go, what will people think, or, you know, is just the right time. Because I proposed to Lou, I didn't have any money. I was skin, absolutely skin, renting a terrible flat in New Cross. She was paying, she was a breadwinner for about three years when I was doing comedy.

And how did you meet Lou? That's your wife. I went to work in office. Works in office together and then she left to be a teacher and I left to do comedy. And did you just get a really good feeling about her? Did you get that? Oh yeah, exactly. You just know. And then I was like, I remember I was on a train up to Manchester.

And I saw it's like a mum with a little baby. I was just left up here. Well, here we go. We're going to see Rob's old house. I'm really excited. They've extended it, though, since the move out. We're getting this thrown, and this is a bargain. Normally you don't get this unless you do. Who do you think you are? I'm never doing that. Have I known?

Because I know where I am, and I don't want anyone else to know. There's a lot of dark secrets in my family. Do you think there are? I know there are. The last thing I was going to do invite BBC round to dig. What sort of dark secrets? Any dark secrets of family from South East London? Oh, I understand.

They've managed to buy their accounts or else. Oh, now I really want to see that. Who do you think you are? I tell you this is quite funny, that's quite sad. So when I put two moments in comedy, oh, up here Goose. But I remember when I first went to Edinburgh Fringe. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know it existed, Emily.

Really? When I started doing comedy, you need to go Edinburgh, I was like, why? I'm in London. Everything happens in London. Why have I got to go there? But yeah, there's two moments. When I did my first gig and I went to Edinburgh Fringe, I remember laying in bed. Like, so much, so excited.

much so excited. I found what I wanted to see, like kicking the sheets and I don't know, like England winning the World Cup. It's quite weird, it's quite small with one a bit nose. So we're in Rob Beckett's. This is the street of graph. It's this one here, the one with a van and the white car outside. Oh, Rob. Do you know who lives here now? No, no idea. Where was your bedroom? The left one, the bigger one. How do you feel when you look at it, though? Do you feel... I don't like it. I don't like... Why? Because I don't like someone else being in it. Oh yeah, I understand that. It's funny it weird. Like, I am... Goosey.

Oh, sorry, I'm there. Yeah, I've found it weird. Like, look, because that's one thing. I never, I never really want to have to sell my family home. Yeah. I want it always to be there so that they can come back. It's horrible. They sold it when it was like, like 20 or something.

So it's a bit horrible when. And do they live near here now? They've gone down to Margate now. Are they still together your parents? Yeah, yeah, still together. This way. Oh, little doggy? Hello.

You're right? This is Sharon. Hello, Sharon. Hi, Sharon. Is that yours? Yeah, Elsie. We were just showing her my old house. You were, yeah, and I see you too.

Yeah. Obviously, it's funny, I got really scared around here once, Emily, because the dog was barking at me. Oh, when you were young, really? Yeah, little dog here was barking at me, and I'd crack myself. Did you? Were you scared of it then? Yeah, I was always a little bit scared of dogs. It was because of my mate in him so much.

Oh, it's lungy dog. Lungy dog? Hello? Hello, that's the golden retriever. If we go back up here and do it right, we get back to that thing. So you were saying about meeting Lou? Yes.

Do you think, um, because I'm, obviously, you know, you guys moved in together, and then you obviously knew quite soon, you were saying. But do you often think, well, that's nice? Because, you know, I know that she's always been with me, basically, for the right reasons. Well, yeah, exactly. I think it would be difficult now to meet someone because you get, you know, you get a lot more attention just because you do a bit of tele and stuff like that. Yeah. But, yeah, no, it's not, it's lovely.

Like, she keeps her feet on the ground, though, because I've got, see, basically, I'll get very anxious, right? and get very stressed and I get nervous. So I'm really over-prepared for everything I do. I make it look like I just walk out and I'm this bloke who just goes, hello, I'm funny, you know. But it's all thought out and planned and organised. Is it? Because, yeah, they're proper preparation.

But I get really anxious, so I try to have to do certain things. So if I'm anxious and stressed and doubting myself, I listen to like this motivational YouTube videos, Eric Thomas, you've heard of them. Do you, wrong? I couldn't imagine you doing that. Well, no, exactly. So I used to be quite embarrassed.

I did it. And also, then I do mindfulness if I'm, if I'm worked up to calm down. So I do, like, basically mental uppers and downers through mindfulness or motivational videos. But it's Eric Thomas one. He's like, it's so over the top, so American and you could be cynical and go like,

it's like, you gotta believe it, you can't achieve and all this stuff. And I used to listen to it and it worked for me, but I never liked telling him once. I've embarrassed for it was a bit stupid. Yeah. Until I interviewed Anthony Joshua and Ramesh. Oh, yeah.

And he said he listens to it, and Rommish said he did as well. And I'm like, do you know what? I think it might be a good thing to do. So it made me like to know that other people that are successful, like Anthony Joshua goes in a fight. If he's good enough for him

and Rommish, he's taking over the world. You know, you look at the England team and you think how that's just an accepted part of their work now, that whole thing about you have to confront the past to conquer it. Yes, and like, that Jordan Pickford interview was amazing when he was talking up.

They might do a coffee there. Oh, yeah, let's get a coffee, Rob. Yeah, bean to cup coffee, look. Why did we get the coffee roll? I don't know, it said bean to cup, Levasa. Oh, we've got a lavazzar machine. Oh, Rob. Oh, what do you like?

Oh, let's get a cup. Oh, Rhys. Oh Rob, you don't have to. The lavazzas on me. This is my birthday treat. It's your birthday treat. You've had a Lavaza from a co-op in south-east London. Aren't you lucky?

This is an antidote to all your Richmond Park, Hampstead Heath, recordings. You go, oh, look at the deer. And I'm listening to it, Ben. Oh, piss off, look at the deer. Since you got into tell you in the 90s when it's full of money, you could get an outside Amsterdam for six grand, giving it the bigger. What would you like?

Flat White, Latte? I'm going to go for Flat White. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to have a latte. Okay. Oh yeah. It's a lot of syrup, isn't it? Yeah, but don't look, you know what?

It's like the bacon sandwich. Don't look at the pig being killed. Okay? Okay, you're right. You must not know how the pig is killed. We don't want to see that. Pretend that syrup one in there. Apologies to any vegetarians listening.

Well, you can't say a pig being killed because I'll get upset. I'm not making them. If you're vegetarian, you cannot stomach the words pig being killed. Pigs might fly, we'd say that. Oh, they're not. What if pics don't like high? Can I tell you a funny thing? You know, you talk about to look at me, Gene?

When I first started doing comedy, obviously you're just a bright light in your face just doing comedy. And I used to work in an office and I hated it so much and I used to love doing comedy. I used to go to the toilet, because they had spotlights in the toilet, you know, I'm like that, like that. I used to stand underneath them, look at them,

so they're blinding me, like I was on stage. How tragic is that? I used to go to the toilet, stand under a light and look at it because it took, that it took, it was like in full of mind for this. In that moment it took me, away from the office and on stage. And did you think...

When I walk on stage Emily, I go, oh thank you for that. Do you? That's how I, that's my feeling. I've been walking and go, relax. All you've got to do is be funny. There's no other stress. I can't believe that about the toilet. That's amazing.

It's really sad. Well, no, maybe it's just that you were just incredibly driven though, right? That you had a sense that... But basically, I've never been good at anything and I found something I was half decent out, because I kept on winning competitions. So I literally, everything else didn't exist and all I did was comedy.

comedy. I used to research what like other comics were doing at my stage and if I weren't doing what they were doing work at like I'd go right what was Rossola doing after three years right I need to be doing better what was Michael McIntyre doing it for you I need to be doing that and then I'd bring up the age and go how many previews does Michael McIntyre do for a tour 20 put me 30 so what and I'd bring up what was what really how many previews has Romish got in 20 put me 30 so like whatever they did I had to do more not just the same I had to do more but I went to Adelaide really early on because I won a competition I died on my ass every night

but I did 20 hours on stage in that month that put me like two years ahead of all my contemporaries because I had the opportunity to learn how to do it you know and that's sort of helped me at the beginning to go up a few levels because you got your coffee yes I need to get my I'm sure oh where do I do it okay oh oh my boy Emily trying to get people to do it for you just hand in the card over like it's Hampst did you just put it in the machine you're right and then you put your it's concertless down here don't worry you've not gone to 1970s Russia You just sat up for the Thames. I'm just handing over my cut. Thank you. Thank you very much. Do you want me to take this for a while? I'm worried that you're having to do all the heavy lifting.

So I was going to say your decision to go back on stage, you know, I'm fascinated by that, the point where you are differently wired, I would say to most people, and that's what separates you. Yeah, I think I, yeah, people can be funny, but it's just, I don't know, I just, I find it as a purest form of mindfulness, because the point of mindfulness is the point of mindfulness is the mindfulness is that you just focus on your breathing. You get rid of everything else in your brain so you can relax because you've only got to focus on one thing rather on, oh what about my mortgage, what about this, what about that, what about that? I don't get bogged down in trying to change

the world or a huge narrative arc. I just make sure that every time I stop talking, they're laughing or they're laughing while I'm talking. And that's all I've got to do and that relaxes me so much because it makes my life simple. The one thing and I like to be, I like to do everything right so I know I'm doing it right if that happens. It's sort of just, for me it's just simple. But what if they don't laugh? How do you... Think something else, say something else, but just... But I know they will.

It's like saying to a boxer. What if you lose? I won't. I will be fun. I might not be the funniest of them, but I will always be funny, whether they want it or not. I just think that's why... It's similar in some way to the sportsman's genetic makeup, weirdly, because there's a sort of high adrenaline thing.

There's a performance thing. And crucially, I think, there's the ability to... There's resilience, essentially, isn't it? Well, no. Obviously, I know that sometimes I will do gigs, so I won't be funny. This is mental, but, right, I'm not very good at knowing when someone don't like me, right? Which I think helps me on stage, right? Two stories.

One, I cannot tell you. I don't think I've met anyone that's not like me, right? Ever. I know that's wrong. I know that's wrong. I fully accept that there are people out there that have met me and hate me. That's just life, yeah? But I couldn't tell you they are.

I couldn't tell you. I can't pick up on it. At first time I did mock the week. They went, the warm-up geese went, oh, they've been a bit arsh you, are they? But from my world, being arsh has given me a wry look or talking over me, when they said it's intimidating. I thought before I'm at the week, Darrow-Brien,

lifts you up by your throat and goes, you talk over me, I'll cut you. That is intimidating. And he's not, it was lovely. It was really nice. At the end of the first week, well done, just don't swear as much. Cheers, great advice. You know what I mean? So I don't really find that sort of thing intimidate.

So you, I'm interested in that idea of not thinking, Because I think that's a superpower. That's the one I would choose if I could choose one. Sadly, I have the opposite thing. I think everyone hates me. But, no, I really do. And I think, and you have to fight that. Because I think that is quite dissent.

That stops you doing everything. It stops you creating things. It stops you meeting people. It means you're host. And that is part of that mindfulness thing. You have to just sort of say, well. I'm super positive. And also, I'm very resilient.

So I'll just like, if it goes wrong, I plow on, like, just plow on. I will just plow on. I will drag myself on. to a geek even if I don't want to, even if I'm knackered, and I'd rather turn up and do it and be crap than not have done it and waited two weeks and do one to be good, do you just learn more.

And how do you deal with, you say you do mindfulness, and I'm impressed that you do that. You put something on Instagram and it was a post, and I'm going to be honest, when I saw it, I thought, I was surprised that you put that. Yeah. Do you want to explain what it was? Well, it was just basically, it's a post of saying,

basically, I've got a lot of friends and family that have killed themselves, right? and I know you're supposed to go, they took their own lives and all that. That's the politically right. No, didn't they kill themselves? And I just think, what is it? The fact is, 12 men a day in the UK commit suicide, right? It's absolutely mental. It's the biggest killer of men under like 40 or something, right?

And it's so prevalent. And I've lost friends and family to suicide. On Twitter, I just try and be funny on Twitter, but a lot of people trying to change world. So one week it's Syria, one week it's Brexit, one week it's this, one week it's Trump. You know, I don't want to name names, but there's people, a lot of comedians,

especially in my generation, they think they're like, changing the world. But all happens is it just turns. into noise, white noise, because you can't pick a new thing you care about each week, just because it's in the news. Yeah. And you want to try and get, so, like, I just think that's why I cut through a bit more.

And like people, you were surprised. And that's why, if I had need, like, 60,000. And what you were saying, we should say what you said, it was the thing you wrote, which was you said. Oh, yeah. I think, lads and ladies, the summer's come in. Basically, don't, just don't believe everything you see on Instagram. It's all lies. Yeah.

Or, like, made to look better. Actually, the reason that I picked up on it was because I think it was oddly, more powerful, you doing that. Because I don't associate, you know, I don't see you as someone who's sort of, I'm in a retreat in Thailand. So I sort of thought, right, okay. And I do think there probably be people that think, oh, okay, that's good to, that it's okay to feel a bit weird sometimes.

Well, that's what I just thought, because, you know, it starts, all I want to do is be funny. And like I said before, you don't really that person that turns into like a social warrior. Yeah. But I don't, but I do think sometimes it's nice to do it now and again. And after I didn't have, I shouldn't have done that. I just want to be a comedian. It's really funny.

But a lot of people have been in content that said it really was nice thing to read and hear and stuff. And also I do give off on telly, hey, I'm just cheeky, relax, weird. But then there are sometimes when I do feel really down and use certain things to make myself feel better. So when I first did, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here on ITV2. Because that was your real, that was what broke you. That was your game changer. And I could tour off the back of that, basically. Yeah.

It's built from there. But I got so down depressed after that because there was so much pressure, stress. and I was anxious and it went okay but not very well. I got a lot of hate on Twitter and stuff where I'm used to it now but like And also everyone likes you so that's not fair. Yeah, exactly. I've never met the one I don't like me. What are you doing?

Sometimes they go, oh you're disgusting, ugly butt and I go, so I look at the mirror and I look alright today. Like what are they saying I'm not? Yeah so I was really down so what I did I went to the doctors and said I felt like that and then I went on the NHS to have some, I had to fill out a form of how I felt. I had some counselling sessions like six counselling sessions that brought me right down just talking about stuff because I didn't have anyone to talk to really and then I read the Ruby Wax book which is amazing same new world yeah I saw a tour which was really good and then I did loads of CBT stuff didn't work for me then I found this

YouTube mindfulness thing which works really so I use that and then when if I'm not confident I listen to motivational stuff and that worked in the sense of you were saying like when you got down when you were doing that do you think that was you know they distinguish it then it's it environmental sort of stress and depression rather than the sort of chemical I suppose so do you think you were responding a bit to this weird situation. Yeah. Because fame is very unnatural.

I think I've got a slight propensity for chemical in day-to-day stuff, but not really. I'm quite happy day-to-day, but I react to environmental sort of stuff. So that's a huge life event. Everyone as well thought I was like a multimillionaire because I've done one bit of telly, which I'm not even that now.

I've done loads of, I've been doing it for like eight more years. But as soon as you do one bit of tell, I remember I was on the bus and my mate's going, how much reckon you got paid for that one or two million? I was like, you could not be further from the truth. So it was just like a lot of pressure.

And then I was like, Jungle teeth geeseer! It's jungle teeth geese, ah! So it was just stressing me out. And then I went there. That is, I mean, you laugh at it and I know you're very... But there is something, if we're going to be honest, slightly dehumanising about fame as well.

Yeah. If you're not used to it, I suppose you're not prepared for it and suddenly it's like, yeah, that's what you become. And the thing was always to do comedy, wasn't it? I mean, to do stand-up. Is that where you're happiest? Oh, yeah. Yeah, everything else on.

With the toilet light, as it were. That's your next tour. If everything got taken away, it would probably be just stand up. Would you do it in regard, even if you weren't paid? Yeah, but don't tell them that. Lou, your partner, what's she like? I've met her a few times and she seems really nice. She has a good energy around her, I think.

Oh, she's loving. She's so normal. She's so nice. She's so supportive and she's so... She's not bothered about it at all. So she's not like, you know, some people might be like, A bit like football England wags, a bit. Like Rebecca Vardi at the World Cup is like Instagram everywhere.

If I was at the World Cup as a footballer, Lou probably wouldn't have been in Russia. She'd be at home watching it, right? Yeah. So she lives no interest in it whatsoever. She sounds like a sort of Le Max wife or one of those. Oh, like just like, oh, shut up. Just said to me, I was coming out the tube and I was all full of beans. And then she was like, oh, you're so sickeningly positive, aren't you?

And happy and confident. It's disgusting. But it just oozes out of you, isn't it? So she just really, like, knocks me down because I could. should have that as your Twitter bio, Rob Beckett, it's sickeningly positive. Yeah, but I am exhausted, someone said to him as at the pub and I was talking about, if you do this, you do that, you know, all these ideas, I don't think, you, you're exhausting, ain't you? That's the ADHD, mate. Yeah. But it normally, the tax you pay on hyper sunshine is storms. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, so I'm aware of that, so I have to manage it. And that's why I might manage it with mindfulness and stuff like that. But I was really struggling. But I was really struggling. at the start of my career, but now because of, that's maybe a bit of comic, I'd say, more than sitting down writing jokes, is getting your head right. Because after a while, you learn the basics, you know, you learn where to stand, what's, not like those little basics and stuff, and you get good to a point. So technically good you mean. Yeah, technically good. Obviously, I'm still got way, way to, I've got loads more to learn and technically loads more to learn, but you can get to a point where you can do 20 minutes in a club and earn a living, right,

but you'll be making mistakes all the time, but you're still a good comic and stuff, but to really push on you do need to that mental it's the mental thing like that pressure of you know you've got thousands of people watching you're like you got to just believe in yourself so much because if you if you don't watch anyone else you got to walk out I do that singing show right 100 I run all together now yeah it's like BBC one yeah like I look back on stuff go how did I do that because that scares thinking of doing stuff like that scares me now it's like Saturday night prime time and I'm like the main o's so it's like like I just get my son I was not like get in the zone and just do it.

But when I look back at now, I go, I can't believe I did that. It's weird. It's once I'm looking at a different person doing it. When you're just, you know, moping around the house and your pair of tractsy bottoms, you don't really feel like you can go on and be like this person. It's a huge, it's like a sort of Forsyth type,

you know, big Saturday night, shiny, fours show. But I think you're so good on that. And I think why I like it and why I like you as a performer and the first time I saw your kind of comedy I really liked you is because I think you're all. You know, when you see someone and you think, well, that's a shtick, but it's not really who you are, because we all know what you're really like. And we all know people like that. The person that you inhabit on a stage or in a TV studio or whatever is so similar to this guy here walking in Jizzle first.

Yeah. I just think it's easier because you don't have to keep up a little lie. And also, my worst fear is to get a massive gig on TV, right? And have to do it. Let's just end the podcast there. And then we'll put that out. and your agent will be really happy. So the trailer will be...

Rob Beckett says, my worst bit is to get a massive gig on TV. Okay, that was Rob Beckett. But doing like a bit of shtick that you hate and you have to do for 15 years. That is my idea of hell. Yeah, right? So that is what films be a good dread.

And there's certain people you could know. Yeah. Oh, look. Was he on his own this dog? He's a lone wolf. Hello. Hello, mate. You're right.

You're not too bad. On the singing show, I went right? Like, it's a big Saturday night thing, right? It could be quite a big deal if I do well here. Yeah. But I'm not going to try and second guess what a Saturday night presenter should be. I'm going to walk out and be unapologetically me. Yeah.

And do whatever I want to do. And if they want it, they want it. If they don't, they don't, and I'll leave it at that. Yeah, exactly. If we do it left, should we do that? Yeah, let's go up here. And then, lucky they liked it. But if they didn't, I would have been like, all right,

I don't think I'm too desperate to impress sometimes. I'm like, just like, I was just... Well, I didn't say that, Rob. I always said, if I can earn 30 grad a year, I'll be ecstatic, right? And just, look, I can live in a free comment. It's the best job in the world. And also, like, the best bit is that when you're really busy, it's being like, what is in quote, Mark, successful,

while, you know, you do a tour and you're on telly a bit. Like, it is really hard because you're working all the time. But the worst case you know, is they don't want you anymore. You go back in a circuit, you work three days a week. And you still earn all right. Yeah. How much money do you need? Like, how much fame or money do you need?

I feel like I've won already. And like, as long as I can do gigs, I've won, the rest is a bit of a bonus. I'm not, and I said that I did mock the week. Who was it? Ed Gamble or something, Mock the week. Went, I'm a bit nervous about it.

I said, I don't worry about it. Yeah. I go, what's the worst could happen? Well, they just, it was like, he said something like, well, they don't want you anymore and you're never on it. You're going to, I'll open a shop or something.

Do you know what I mean? Like, I'll find something else to do. Do you think you would? I can see you doing that. I don't know. A calf. I'd have a calf. I'd have a calf or a little, yeah, a little calf.

Yeah, I think you probably would grow up. Now you've got kids as well. I want to ask you about your kids. So you've got two kids. Now that you're going to have a bit of cash, their lifestyle is going to be probably a bit different to yours, Rob, growing up. And it always makes me laugh. Like, you know, Chris Rock always has that thing about,

oh, no, I've got, you know, I hate rich kids. That's what I'm a bit worried. I am worried about that because, you know, it's not even just like the more money as such. It's just like the opportunities they'll have now. and like, I heard a really good thing about it, though, because I was why it made me laugh. Jerry Seinfeld was talking about it to Kevin Art.

Oh, yeah. On one of his podcast and both, and he was saying that, his Kevin Art's daughter was going, Daddy, we're rich, aren't we? We're rich. Aren't we rich? And he was like, no, we're not. I've worked really hard, did it and all this, you know, the classic stuff. And then Seinfeld said something funny.

When his kids say to him, go, we're rich, dad, haven't we? He goes, no, I am. You're not? I love that. I'm rich. He goes, yeah, but Daddy, we're going like nice holidays together as funny. He goes, yeah, yeah, because I'm there. When you go on holiday, you don't, because you're not rich.

I'm rich. You're not rich. I like that. But that's the thing, Jim Jeffries has got a funny thing about it as well where he goes, he doesn't want his kids to sort of be ungrateful and stuff like that. But on holiday, he used to go to caravan holidays. You know, a bit like me or normal, not normal buttins holidays. And then his kids, I bet when he wants to go on an holiday,

he's obviously got his take his kids. But he wants to, he's earned money and work really hard. He wants to be on the desert island with the cocktail, like that. But obviously his kids have to be there. He's sitting there going, I've worked really hard for us, and look at his kid going, oh, lucky little, look at you with your cocktail and the beat. But I just think, as long as they understand, like, that they're lucky and it's like, and not to be wasteful, do you know what I mean? But I'm quite, like, relaxed like that, but I do lose my shit if they're, like, do you wasteful or a bit, like, not appreciative. I can imagine you're quite, are you quite strict?

I'm the stricter one out of. Lou Blut just laughs when they're being naughty. but one of my daughters is basically me and she's absolutely insane is she to calm her down yeah she's so cheeky and she got the look at me jean yeah it's bad I caught her in the bathroom looking at the spotlight

are you a cryer Rob not that I've like you know people go I've not cried for 15 years or something but not not not not regularly like since having kids it's got worse not worse that's the wrong way putting it it's more common just because of like

I cannot watch anything now of like a kid going missing or anything bad happening to a kid. So now basically as you get older, what happens is I think more things open up that will make you cry. That you're not aware that you were bothering about. Or like losing, like, you know, if you lose like a parent or like. And then there's something with that, someone losing a parent in it or something like that. I imagine the more as you get older, the more life experience you have. Yeah. But yeah, I would say, yeah, I do.

I will cry for need. I won't like put it off. I can't watch like the comic relief like the videos and all that. Well, that's because you're presenting him. In the studio, mate. Yeah, it's absolutely blubbing. Thank you for that now. We've got a chering it with a pepper pie and see if you can eat it quicker than Damien Rice.

Welcome back to Comic Relief. Miranda Hart's here. You've got a show with Ramesh, who's a really good mate of yours, isn't it? Yeah, that's brilliant. So much fun. Just hanging about your mate. Yeah, it's brilliant. It's called Rob and Rom Meets and for Sky One, and we go.

to meet all these people. So we get to travel, went to Jamaica, met your same boat, going to America. You just meet your heroes? To watch your NFL. Hey, I've got to tell you,

I remember when I first met you. You probably don't. I do a radio show with Frank Skinner. Yes, I remember. I was coming in for my pilot and you said I looked like a Kennedy. Well, yeah, because you came into the studio. Yeah, could say hello,

I think because Steve Hall or Matt Ford was in there. Yeah, and someone said, oh, this is Rob Beckett. Yeah. And I said, oh, you look like a Kennedy, one of the Kennedy. And you really do, I think. Really? I take that as a compliment.

Well, you really do. But that was another thing I want to say. Part of your schick and part of the guy's stick on, you know, cats with Jimmy. Yeah. If you're being interviewed by Jonathan or Ramesh. Yeah. It's this whole thing, oh, Rob's teeth and all right. I think you're very conventionally good looking, but I think you sort of,

I wonder whether you realise that that's not as funny. Oh, obviously, yeah. Yeah. So you almost play that down. a bit and this whole thing where you're like oh yeah look at my teeth look at that and it's like oh thank you that's very kind of you say I think I'm growing into my face because I someone tweeted me a picture of me five years ago on telly and my face is a bit thinner and just my teeth looked twice as big as

they do now so hopefully I'm growing into it and it will look you know I'll look better but I don't you know I don't think I don't think I'm as bad looking as I make up but basically I just point out all my flaws which is funny and then I extend you're like I to put a video up with me on a rocking chair on Instagram and it broke after the England game. Silly thing about IKEA and Sweden. That really made me laugh. I saw that. Because I'm like, I look in it about 50 stone. I've got a white t-shirt. I look, the worst I've ever looked, right? And I looked at it and Lou went, I wanted to put it up. I was like, yeah, because I can't go Instagram's all lies and then

start editing myself and changing my t-shirt. And that's why I put up loads of unflattering photos of me online because I don't get, one, I'm married anyway, two, even if I weren't, I don't give a shit. And also as well, if I was in the market, people see me go, do you know what? You should see him in a flat. He's all right. So if you put awful stuff up online, in the flesh, you're an absolute 10 out of 10 because the expectations are so low. Maybe that's what people should do on Tinder. Yeah. Because if you can get them to agree to me. Exactly. And then you turn up. That's the one. That's the way. That's how I'd do it. That's so much better. But the things I wouldn't be as funny if I was, if I was like at a six pack as properly ribs. Do you think so?

Why? Because it, you start, because you just, at once, my sort of thing is just like a bit more relaxed and just don't take yourself too seriously. But I mean, obviously if I've got a bit more in shape, that's fine, but if I was absolutely ripped a bit, would Romish be as funny if he had straight eyes, was super thin and fit and smiled? He wouldn't have an act. To be fair as well though, it's not hard because I do just live where I grew up, I do just go like, if I mean just go Nando's, like, neither, neither is like, I can't be bothered, so I go,

Like we go Nando's Arvester. And like even in the Arvester, we go, this is shit in it, but it's near. Rob, we're going to finish up now. I could have talked to you for hours. But there's another dog coming. Another dog, that's a dog. That's a dog. It's a classic south-eat-old.

What is that? Staffy, I think. He's really lovely. Looks like Paddeny again. They are. The problem with staffies is we all had them in my family. Did you? My aunties did.

They're lovely. But they're just so loyal and bad people just make them be loyal in a bad way. Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi. I think it's a bit big for a staffie. Is that a staffie?

I ain't sure he's a bit of a crotch. Yeah, he's a big staffie, he didn't he? Oh, really? Fair enough. It's a big boy, he. Well, thank you very much. Cheers. Oh, okay.

I enjoyed it. So I really love seeing you. I hand goose back. We're going to give the dog back. I've loved chatting to you. No, it's been fun of it. Because it's confirmed everything I suspected, which is that you are one of the nicest men in comedy and the funniest.

Because you know what? That's very kind. I know that's all you care about. You're overblowing it. I'm really not. I think. I'm really not. You sure?

Yeah. I'm sure you say it to everyone. I don't, I promise. You said that to Dynamo. Did I say you all my funny as that? Yeah, he only does magic. I really hope you enjoyed listening to that. And do remember to rate, review and subscribe on iTunes.