Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Roisin Conaty

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

This week Emily went for a stroll round Highgate Wood with Roisin Conaty and her Maltese, Harpo. They chatted about her childhood in Camden, the epiphany she had when she tried stand up for the first time and her fabulous show, GameFace. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I worry sometimes with Ray he's like the person in the back of the car, craning forward to get involved in the conversation. He's like the artist at a party that everyone's trying to talk to. What's Harpo's character at the party? She's a... I think I've left the oven on. I haven't had a nice time. I have a nice time. I think I've left the oven on. I need a quailant. This week on Walking the Dog,

Raymond and I took a stroll with comedian, actor and writer Rochene Connerty and her beautiful Maltese Harpo. I know. It's a dog name of dreams. Now, Rochine and Harpo are fellow North Londoners, so Raymond got to stay on his home turf in Highgate Wood. Roe, you'll obviously know from her award-winning stand-up comedy, brilliant acting performances in everything from Man Down to Afterlife,

and Channel 4's Game Face, which she created Roe and starred in, and also her hilarious TV appearances on shows like 8 out of 10 cats, Have I Got News for You, and Taskmaster. Rochene and I had the most lovely afternoon. with Harpo and Raymond, and we chatted about so much from her childhood growing up in Camden and the early signs of her comic potential to the epiphany she had when she slightly randomly tried stand up for the first time and just knew instantly this was home.

We also talked about how she honed her skills as a writer and comic, and how she handles performing nerves by reminding herself to essentially just always be herself. Roshin is just an utter joy, really. She's so warm and generous and hilarious, but she's also got to be. this very gentle, empathetic energy. She's the kind of person you could spill all your embarrassing thoughts to, and you just know they'd be safe. I mean, she'd roast you about them endlessly,

but look, at least they'd be safe. I'd also like to exclusively reveal that Raymond definitely caught big feelings for Harpo. I don't want to put pressure on either of them to put a label on things. I do. But, you know, can it hurt to start Googling doggy wedding tuxedos? I really hope you enjoy my chat with wonderful Rocheon. please remember to rate, review and follow. I'll shut up now and hand over to the fabulous woman herself.

Here's Roshi, Ann Harpo and Raymond. Look at this dog's legs, muddy, these. I love it when you can see they've had loads of fun. You know, I love a dog with muddy boots. I know. Hi. A dogie. A dogie.

You said hi to the dog, but there was relatively attractive man. Oh, I always talk direct to the dogs. So, what I make a contact. You know where I tell you, I was in Austria, lovely place, but they don't have, like, my very limited experience, they didn't have a very stroke other people's dog vibe. I also stroke people's dog,

and they acted like I said, can I ever sip of your coffee? There's a dog, and I was like, can I stroke your dog? And they're like, what? And they sort of gave it to me, like, well, she must be hungry. You know, the way you'd hand your coffee to someone, like, okay, I guess she can,

if you want it that bad, but three times. And they hold their dogs on really short leashes, even in empty spaces. Hello, Laps, you're pecking up. Are you packing up? Good girl. Raymond! Oh, I'm so excited for this walk. Oh, I am as well.

And it's so great. It was near home. Oh, I can't wait. I could go to Hyde Park or somewhere today. The Jubilee with our dogs. Excuse me, we'll have a conversation about our dogs, actually. Have you been, Em? Oh, I'm good, darling.

But I don't want to know about me. I want to know about you. I don't want to know about me. I'm with the ridiculously talented. When I said ridiculously talented, I sounded like John Travolta when he's about to say, the wickedly talented Adel Dazine. Rocheon Conn, introduce us to your dog. This is Harpo Barks, and she doesn't understand how to play balls.

So you throw the ball and she thinks I have to go and get it. So I've just thrown the ball. Now I'm going to try and get it and then she's going to try and get it. And she's a maltese and she's a bit wonky-eyed, but we love her. She's so gorgeous. She's a dream boat. And when did you, when did Harper come into your life? When was it? Three, four years ago?

Three, four years. She's three and a half. Yeah. I got her like a mad time. She was looking at like a mad time. that ball. That's like me and my life looking for things that aren't there. Should I get to bark for the podcast? Yeah, come. Will you do a bark? Come.

Where's a ball? There you go. Miss Hover barks. That is a good bark. You know, Ray's never barked. Really? Ray. Ray, why don't you bark?

So well raised. Come on. He just can't be asked, I think. Is that her ball? She's got a different ball. Did you have dogs growing up? Because you're such a dog person, you always strike me. I love dogs, don't you?

I loved dogs. We didn't have dogs, but my best friend, when I was a child, Lucy had a dog called Millie. She was like a staffy. And I adored her, like, she was my own dog. So I always really, really love dogs. We just, we lived in a flat and we just couldn't have one. But lots of my friends, you know, had bigger houses and stuff. I've always just, I mean, you know, really, really loved dogs.

Like I like it when they lick you. I like it when they jump up on you. Like you're out and go, sorry to jump up. I think, oh, good. They've jumped up. Like, Harpo doesn't go up to strangers. But yesterday I met a dog. Another dog actually called Millie in this field they were going into.

She was a yellow Labrador. And then she just jumped up and me and rolled over and gave me her belly straight away. Like a little hussy. But I was so happy. And her own was like, I'm so sorry. And I was like, no. Like, that's my favourite bit. I quite like the interactions with other dogs.

You know, with the other dogs. Because it's almost like you're getting an interaction with someone, but it's quite contained. It's like there are boundaries. What's yours called? What's yours? Have you ever heard someone blank you? Just completely blank you. It's the most painful thing.

When they act like, who's got time for this? And you're like, I was just making conversation because our dogs are talking. I've had situations where people have said, I've said, hello, how lovely. And some man has just gone, come on. That's exactly. That is exactly that you couldn't have articulated it. But that's exactly what I mean. When you're like, oh, what a cute.

Are they having so much fun? And they're like, Jacob. And it's like, you're not there. I remember once we were sitting in, Harper was in a bit of form and we're in this field we're going into. And Harper went to walk up to these people with dogs. And they just literally acted like she wasn't there. And I was like, gosh, you're making.

I feel like she's in. six cents. Like I see her thinking can they see me like I'd never seen anyone actively ignore a dog the way they did and they had dogs but they just made her feel like she wasn't there. So I project quite a lot. They made her feel like she wasn't worth anything. They made her feel like she was it wasn't going to be okay. Do you want a hand? Do you want a hand? Are you coming around? It's actually now.

Are you sure? Oh, look at there's a laugh. They're cute. Is. Harpo and Ray. Look at these beautiful babies. Hello. They're so cute.

Hello. Yeah, this is the path I would stay on if you're going to go around. That bring you around in a cricket the tent. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, that's the one. This one's through the field. It might be a bit tricky. Yeah, okay.

Thank you very much. No worries. Yeah, so paint the picture of the origin story. I was born in Regents Park Estates, a council estate, down in Warren Street, in between Warren Street in Mourlandton Crescent. They've sort of knocked it all down now for that train, well a lot of it. And I spent sort of, I went to most of my childhood there, but I also spent a lot of time in Ireland.

So I think that sort of sums up my personality really. Like it was like a manic, like ra-rah-rah, you know, noisy or like absolute silence. We sit here for a bit. Yeah, let's go on this nice bench. Nice twos. Come on. It was you and your sister, wasn't it? Me and my sister, mum and dad.

And then, it's just me and my sister, yeah. And so, only two years apart. So. And were you really close? Super close, super close, but drive each other. You, terror. She knows I've got the ball. What did your parents do?

My mum was a nurse and my dad worked for Aer Lingus. Oh really? Yeah. I always thought that. That must be lovely to have a nurse as a mum. She didn't work most of my childhood. She was a nurse when they met. But when we were kids, she didn't really work.

She did a bit. And she, like, did, like, private houses and stuff. Well, you must have been funny, I imagine, as a kid. I was imaginative rather than, I think. So I wasn't intentionally. I think I was like a bullshitter. And I didn't like it. People didn't believe what I said.

But they were wild stories I would have. I knew. My mum had 12 sisters. And so they, all these women, and they were really funny and rambunctious. And I just remember it felt like all of their husbands were one man with a moustache because they've just all married a very quiet men. And yet these women who were so, they'd roast each other. So someone would walk in and they'd be like, oh, they're blue shoes.

Nine of them would go. One of them would threaten to leave because they're not having it anymore. They were very, so I sort of was around women. And so I was always, and they always outdo each other with stories and stuff. So I was always trying to be. And then I'd be like, yeah. I also, they're like, what's this Ketra 7? Why is she making up lies?

What were some of your greatest hits, lies wise? Well, I had to make up, I remember red kickers was one of my fateful. I pretended. They were never that great, but they went on a long, I wouldn't back down when I was caught. So I pretended I had red kickers. I must have been nine or ten. And my mum wouldn't get me them.

She hated them. She thought they were so ugly. I remember her being like, she'd go into the shop, and every time she'd consider her and she just wouldn't get these shoe. She was like, they were a disgrace. So I said I had red kickers. And obviously then there comes to point and people like, where are you red kickers?

I had to invent a life for these shoes. I had to invent every time it came up. And it was, you know, school. Are you going to see a red kid? I was like, well, you're not going to believe who came around. My cousin, Sabrina's coming. She's only, well, her shoe went on fire. So it was like this relentless story about the red,

but even now, like my friend Lucy, if I'm saying, I can't go to a thing, and she'll be like, is this red kickers? Is that, are we being honest? Or is it? Are you got the kickers again? I lied a lot as a child. Did you?

Yeah. What were yours? I bet they were much more grand than red kickers. I bet they were like... It was sort of lies like that. It was lies to slightly increase my status in the room. And I lied once. And this is because all my friends were a lot richer than me.

And I said... Someone said, how many rooms have you got in your house? And I said, 17. Because I thought that seemed reasonable. We were going to go for the 20 and I was like, listen. go for the 20 and I was like listen we're not we don't we're not ostentatious just keep it at 17 we're not going for the we're not going for the we're not going to the two o's here we're we're strictly 17 I think it's it yeah I think

it's when you feel less and it's attention and I was yeah we didn't have a lot of stuff as well and so I like yeah I wanted to be funny in that attention but I'm not having things and making up like I also because I told so many lies and I'd go to island and then I once Jazzy bee living in Camden remember Jazzy B from Soul to soul so came up in a conversation. I was like, Jesse B lives in Camden. He lives near me. And then I looked away and we were swimming and I took it when I saw my cousin saying to her friend, she's shit. I was so, I would have been like pulling my swimming goggles off like, what? And she was like,

did you see that? And I was like, yeah, you just said. She was like, and then it was like this sort of takedown of like, this is more lies. I was like, no, Jesse B leaves at Camden. And then when I got back, I basically found out where he lived. And I was no more than nine. And I, just go and sit outside of a wall opposite his house. Like, and just sit then until it was like, his wife or something coming out, we're like, what are you doing here? It's like nine o'clock at night. And I was like, Jazzy B home.

And she's like, no. But she was like, you need to go home. It's too late. And I was like, oh, this is a nightmare. And I told him my story. I was like, I need some evidence of Jazzy B. And she gave me something. Did she?

Yeah, I kind of what it was. It was on a picture or something. But I had evidence that. Oh, I like her. Yeah. She was sweet. She looked really worried. like she was like what is this child?

You're basically saying can he can Jazzy B come out to play? I was literally like it's Jazzy B in. Oh and we're you so you didn't have pets because it wasn't practical. No we had cats. Oh you had the cats yeah? We had cats yeah so we had cats where I lived it was very um the houses were very like everyone's house was like my friend's house like when I think back like I was just always we were always in each other's houses so But I remember like, once we just opened the window, we'd be like, Nance, just shout over.

Like, it was just crazy. Imagine living there, like, if you weren't us, listening to that. And then we'd go in. So I always felt like Millie was my dog, because I was always in that house. It was a really, you know, I don't like glamorising poverty. Yeah. But I don't think, yeah, there was a lot of that, obviously, but there was a sense of community. And it was like, and kids could play together.

And, you know, and it was central London. So it wasn't like, you felt very connected. you know, to the world still. It didn't feel like, you know, that's what's good about England is that these council estates are sort of in the mix, not like in Paris or whatever on the outset, you know, 20 miles from the city.

I think my parents were immigrants as well, which now sounds wild because they're just Irish. But in those days, it felt a lot, it did feel like having quite different because they were, you know, IRA times and stuff like that. So it felt like I had sort of very Irish parents and my name, so I do think that

was a weird, even though there was sort of Irish, I went to a Catholic school, you know, so there was Irish kids there, I guess, but like, my estate there wasn't that many. So I felt that was sort of, um, stood out, you know, which sounds crazy now because it's so like not the same time, but, um, I did feel like, oh, I had, maybe like that sort of, you know, my parents weren't from there, you know, and my mum, I think really struggled on the estate, she, because she was not from that, they both went, they're both from the countryside, both from, like, farms and, and so they didn't have, you know, and so they didn't have, you know, that I was always like why don't they enjoy it here you know like and they were

really unhappy there you know and so I think you're obviously not born in in the city and you go to an estate when you're from like you know a farm and countryside my dad was like on the lakes and stuff and then I think they found it quite stressful obviously you know what qualities what do you think you got from your mum and what did you get from your dad like if you had to pick something I think my mum is maybe one of the funniest people unintentionally, unintentionally, but like she's a real clown, like she knows, like she can come round a door and like, and do a face, you know, and she's like nearly 70,

but she's got that timing. You know, I, I said, don't be rude to me, I'm a dream boat, like she was being, and then she went, shitwreck more like, I just left the house. But like, she's very, my mum's got a very clowny. Yeah. And she's very, and she's very, imaginative. My dad was dry and had yeah really bone dry really funny but very different like very much more you know like he went like he just felt he was just a bit drier and he was much more well-traveled like he'd worked in Germany and lives in South Africa and stuff like so he had a lot of worldly story you know like he was very much like the world is big and aspirational my mom wasn't that my mom was sort of not un-aspirational but my dad was very they didn't want me to drink

on the pub on the estate and stuff. My mum would like, when I got into my team, just like, sort of, there was a kind of, yeah, my dad was sort of like, the world is big and, you know, kind of, yeah, my dad was very cultured, considering, you know, where we lived. But he travelled and worked all around the world.

And so I had a sense of curiosity, which is what I'd say I've got from him. And when did you get that moment? You know, I remember asking Matt Lucas, I thought it was really interesting. You know that thing when you think, oh, this could be a bit of a currency, like being funny. And he talked about when he was in the dormitory and he was making, he said, I was doing impressions of the teachers and everyone just started laughing. And that seems a really common theme. I hear that a lot. Like it's something at school where you think, oh yeah, was that, did you consciously seek that out? Or do you think you just knew you were funny?

I think there was a few beats. I think there was a school was one, there was a currency of, of, of, it was a, in my house, it was a tension. I saw it being, used as a thing to break tension. I remember being at my friend's house and her mom was talking about her friend. They were adults and she was bitching about her friend. She was like, I'm bloody and she was, you know, really, and this woman, she had a very distinct, distinctive hairstyle. And she still has, so I can't give it away. It was just a sort of mad, I could get why it was an irritant. It was a first one I sort of, I hadn't even know. I thought it was weird until my friend's mom was talking to her husband. She was like, and that bloody blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And she was going on. And then I thought, now's the time. And I did an impression of her friend, sort of out of nowhere, just cold. And I went, oh, I wasn't even meant to be listening. I was 11, maybe 12. And I did it. And she, I remember she had a cigarette. And then I did this impression.

And she just went. And it was so, but it was the shock, I think, of this child did an impression of this woman. And it was a good impression. And I remember, and I was like, I don't know. people who didn't laugh and my mum was depressed when I was a child and a lot of you know without speaking all their business but she had and I to make her laugh as well I always that was the thing I'd I'd and I'd have to I'd have to find ways but when I when I surprised her and then she laughed it was like a real I was like yes there is a way like

it's you know there's always a way there's always a there's always a way to make someone laugh half I try to get to play but she's also trying to protect their ball but she likes the big dogs what is that dog Roche is it a husky collie? Oh, and who's it? Hello. More doggies? Oh, I love those dogs.

Hello. Hello, what's your name? What are those ones called again? My grandad had eyes like that, one different colour. No joking. My granddad had one, literally eyes like that. One brown and one half green in blue. Hello.

Hello. Hi, who are these guys? What's your dog called? Waple. Wapol. Yeah. Whapol. Whipple?

In Italian means naughty boy. Wapple means naughty boy. I know a few of those. Oh. Bye Wapel. And were you academic at school? I did quite well at school considering my attendance wasn't great for a few reasons, but I was good at school. I was good at English, science and art.

Maths was terrible. In R.R. I thought I was going to, I thought I was really good at and I didn't get good justice. that was a real, still, it still upsets me. I didn't do drama, which I should have done. Yeah. And I did geography instead of history. I mean, at school I was, it's weird because I had the same friends. It's quite an, like, so from infants through to the end of secondary school, I had the same friends.

Because we went from the same infants to juniors to secondary school. So in that way, it was, and we're still close, you know, especially one of them. And so in a way, you, I remember, I remember thinking like when I went to do my A-Levels, I went to a different, you know, and that felt, that for me was like my, like, uni, like that, like, like, I made new friends and new music, like, the friends I had all grew up near me at school, infants, and we'd go to Camden Palace and I'd pretend to like, and I didn't take drugs and I didn't drink alcohol and I'd dance all night to music that I hated, and I'd be thinking, I hope we can get food after. I just, I really hope someone's open. And like I was just But I didn't know anything else And I'd like

And then I sort of went to do my A Levels And I met We went up with my best friends I'm very clinging with friends But like I don't know Like they were cool but not cool in there They like art and literature And music and my other friends are amazing

And we're still really good friends But they were not that We had different interests They're like clubbing and they still like But one friend she's still like That's her face you know And I'm like I'm not going to do that But

We're all very solid friend, I reckon. Yeah, I think I'm, you know, like anyone. I'm a pain in the ass, you know, kind of like everyone, like, I think I'm, I'm good in crisis. Like, so that's, I'm definitely one of those people like, I'm, I'm great in a crisis. It's, and people are stunned almost. Like, but I am the person.

I'm like, okay, this is how this goes. Like, it's very good. I'm very good. And I'm not good at sort of day to, things that other people are like, this is just a day to day. I'm like, I don't know how to do that. But I think morning routines, I feel so, you know, I'm sober. don't drink it, but get my mornings back, but also like when I do stuff in the morning,

I do like a to-do list of I'll do like take out the dishwasher so I can start ticking stuff off. I'm only start doing this in the last two years because I find doing basic stuff sometimes. I'm like, I need to do that so I get into momentum. I've done some things like and now I can do the other things. But I don't, things that other people are like, have you literally wrote, have a shower on your do list? I'm like, yes, I have. Because it's to be done. Our minds are on other things.

They are. They are. Keep your dishwashers. My mum was very, my mum was an actor and very, you know, wake up at 10. I always think you could be an actor. Well, do you know what's weird? Because I grew up in that family of actors. So I had a weird relationship with her work, but I do feel I was one of those people that was a bit too embarrassed to admit.

that I secretly probably did want to perform but I couldn't admit it because it felt it felt shameful which is ridiculous. I had exactly the same thing. It's interesting. I'm fascinated on people who are able to admit need. Like, you know, I was like, it felt like, so I did film at uni and but it was all like the back. And I remember having this moment of like come to Jesus moment where I was sort of watching this movie and we're chatting and I thought, I want to perform. You know, and I didn't apply for drama school. I did theatre studies at A level and not performing arts. I did, you know, all of that stuff. So I was always around it, but I was like, well, no, I don't want to.

And I was, I had to do one scene in theatre studies. You have to do one acting bit, not much. And it was the visit. The scene was like a creepy, nightmarish scene. Everyone's getting on a train. And I was the train conductor. All I had to say was get on the train. The note was, Claire Zakanassin, she's having a nightmare.

Everything's a nightmare. Everyone's appearing to her nightmareish. And I went, okay, I got it. I got it. I got it. And they were like, everyone's like, they're, like, everyone's like this. Miss that, yeah, and it gets to me and I went, get on the train. And they're like, oh, no, no, like, it's not, it, she's having a nightmare. You've got to be like a gargoy.

I was like, okay, I got it. I got it. We'll go again. So when I said I want to perform or like the first time I ever did any acting, my sister went, not get on the train. And I was like, no, I've got over that. But yeah, so I had the same thing where I was like. Self-conscious?

Yeah, where I said, I want to, I want to perform. when I did stand-up. But that was so riskless at the time because I didn't feel like it would be something I'd love. So I thought I could do that and get my performing, and I loved it and, you know, mattered immediately. Yes, it's like sort of,

I'll go for the drum and not the lead singer because there's no risk involved. And it's like, oh, the drum was quite nice, actually. Exactly. But I felt like it was exposing a need to say you wanted to perform, felt like, when I was at school and people would be like, listen to me sing.

I was like, grinch. Like I was, and I always felt like it was. was exposing something that I was for like we don't want to give that a way that unique because it is a need I think. Raymond you're going to say hello. Hello. Hello. What's that though?

Is that a Labradoodle or? No, it's a Cavapoo. Oh, Kavapoo. Hi. What's the name? Teddy. Teddy. I love the name Teddy.

Nice to meet you. And you have a nice afternoon. Nice to meet you, Teddy. Bye. Bye. Bye. Good point. Don't take the pool.

Oh yeah, I know I was going to ask you. So after you didn't initially go into comedy, did you? When you left university? No, I went, I worked in, I worked in a fashion company, like a high street fashion company in Camden. And I had a boss there and he was, my dad had died and it was like just, it was a weird, and he was very pretty like saying you need to do something with your life. He knew I was sort of all over the place a bit. And I was like, I was just didn't know what I was going to do.

I was a bit like, I don't know what I'm going to do. And also I sort of had this, I did have this sort of awakening that I was like, I want to perform like, all right, I knew I wanted to create more than what I was convincing myself was I'd be backstage and I'll be doing the, you know, which you can do, but I just, I felt like I had this, but I wasn't doing any of it. And then I went for pizza in Crouchend. Remember Pizza Bella? I did.

And I went to pizza with Crouchend, my friend Danielle. And only one person, it took to tell me when to do. comedy. Normally people like everyone was telling me and Dan was like you should do stand-up. I was like I should and we were really drunk on wine. And how old were you at this time? I was 23, nearly 24 and I was like I should just stand up and then she was like you should and I was like totally just sound up. And then she was like Dan said it's king's head and I was like let's go and do it and then we walked down and then we I thought I could just go on and they were like no you put your name down and I was like okay this is not worked out how we

planned. I had the courage today forget it. And then And then, obviously, no material. And then, like, six weeks later, I think my dad died in interim. Yeah, so my dad died in that interim. So I had this really weird window of, you know, when people die, where the worst things happen anyway. So I was like, what difference is a bad? Who gives a fuck? Like, I was like, you know, this thing that could call, normally cause me shame and apprehension.

I shouldn't swear, but who gives a damn? I was like, and then they phoned me up and said, you're on a Thursday. I was like, okay, and I went and did it, and I had no material. I mean, I had a bit, actually, how weird is this, about people who called their dogs human names? Yeah, and I was like, you know, I think it was Roger. I was like, you can't, a woman screaming around the park every day, Roger, I can't find Roger, and I was like, we're all helping her.

You know, it was obviously exaggerated and not that original. And then immediately got off stage, and I had this feeling of like, you know, and you fall in love. But like, almost like the bad love. I was like, oh, no, this is going to be an absolute. nightmare, isn't it? And yet I'm all in. Like it felt like that. Like it mattered. I was like, what happened? You know? And then you just thought. And then I kept just showing up. I do that get. I was very, I never, this is where my working classness comes in. Hills Jago. God bless her.

She kept going, you think about Edinburgh. And I just thought she was obsessed with Scotland. And she's a promoter, isn't she? Yeah. Comic and promoter. Yeah. So she did amuse me. And a few people were like, maybe if you thought by Edinburgh. And I just thought people were obsessed with Scotland. I was like, sure, I mean, I haven't nailed London yet, so I'm going to keep it, going to keep sort of trying down here for a minute. And then I kept, I never sort of committed to a set, and then I'd write a different five minutes,

and then Pete Graham at Dan said, the king's head said, what are you doing? And I said, do you need to tighten up the good stuff? And I went, am I allowed to do that? And he was like, yeah, like, you don't, I was like, I thought I'd have to do new material. And I was like, no, you need to get a set together. and you're so I just didn't work out that you know which is crazy but I'd never

really seen I'd seen a couple of com a bit of comedy before I did stand up but not much like I watched a lot on TV like stand-ups at Richard Pryor and Joan Rivers and you know French and Saunders and stuff but I didn't did you have that at home where you would watch certain like we'd always watch Faulty Towers or whatever as a you know there'd be family yeah there was only Fools and Horses was a big you know and lots of movies old movies airplane, things like that we'd watch. But one of the things, it's really interesting.

Even talking about influences, sometimes you sort of use, oh, these are the influences, I guess, but I was looking like, Blossom. Do you remember Blossom? Oh, yes, I do. She was a huge influence because she, the first episode of her show,

she does in a monologue to her video camera, and it was written by the guy who wrote like late-night monologues, so she did it effectively sound up, And it was such a funny show. And she was so funny in it. Her high-sid food K. I've only recently gone over. I think she's,

I think she's one of the great physical performers. And keeping up appearances, I can watch now. I know it's going to happen. I know that the dog's going to bark when she goes down the lane into the garden. And yet still, her physical performance, I was really trying to think about women that made me go. Yeah.

Because obviously French and Saunders were huge, but there were just other ones that sometimes I'm like, what did I watch as a chart, the golden girls, the clothes. I love it. People say which sex in the city character are you now. We're doing which golden girls. The pilot of that is incredible. I watch a pilot.

But the other day, the clothes are out of this world. They must have had them made for them. But also, there wasn't one primary colour on the whole set. No one. You couldn't see a red, a green or a blue. For a whole episode, not one. And the world looked so much better in Basso. So, I love.

that after that moment you just thought right that's it I didn't know it's going to be my job though I just loved it no I didn't have any sort of career you know this is only to get your gigs out of time out this before the internet you know and so I had no links to that world I didn't know any of it you know and so I didn't feel like it's a thing I could I just thought oh I'm gonna and then it sort of gradually became a thing that I was like oh I remember I got paid a fibre and I was like what's happened she was oh there's people in and I was like I couldn't believe that someone gave me money. Oh I love this dog crew. Hello. Hello. Hello, what's your name? Is he friendly? Oh, what's his name? Barnaby. And what's that little one called? Oh,

hello Blue. Hello, Blue. Hello, Barnaby. You're ever so nice. I worry sometimes with Ray, he's like the one that he's got this like energy of the person, whenever there are other dogs around, because of his size and he lacks confidence. He's a bit like the person in the back of the car, craning forward to get him. involved in the conversation. He's not. He's the aloof. He's like the artist at a party that everyone's trying to talk to.

You know, he's in the corner and he's just hanging out, just thinking. And people are like, should I go and ask him about the painting of the witch? And there's like, don't bring up the witch. He doesn't talk about that work anymore. What's Harpo's character at the party? She's a, I think I've left the oven on.

I have having a nice time. I think I've left the oven on. Has anyone, because I'll relax more if someone can. I need a quailant. I remember when you first came on my radar. And I was at the, hello, do you remember? You weren't born.

I was at the, it must have been when you won best newcomer. Yes. 2010, I want to say. Was that like when things changed completely for you? Yeah, that was, it was because I was able to go full time. So that was a massive, there was no heat around me. buzz around me up there. You know, there was sort of, I was like a really strong year doing their first hours.

Like, I wasn't reviewed to a day 15. So there was no, I didn't, I sort of didn't have this pressure because I didn't feel like people were, I just wanted to do my hour. I was like, need to get an hour. If I'm going to be a standup, I need to be able to do hours of stand up. And I was proud of the hour, but I didn't feel that pressure up there because I wasn't in play for it. And so I wasn't at home.

I'd stayed out. And then I got, you know, really hammered. I didn't know, and you know people who were like, I didn't know the awards were happening, but that's not me. Normally, I'm not quite unanxious. But up there, I swear to God, I just had this like peace where I just didn't really, genuinely didn't reviews, only time my life.

And it's such a good example of what can happen if you don't read reviews. I didn't read any reviews, anyone's though, so I didn't want to discuss anyone's. And I didn't know about the nominations or when people coming in and out and stuff like that. And I'd go out the night before and got really drunk. And we ended up standing at some house, a few of us. And then my phone died. And at 4 o'clock the next day, eventually my phone charged.

And my agent was at my flat. And it was really all right to go to walk a shame home. And he was like, you've been nominated three hours ago. I was like, what, what's happened? And it was like, yeah. So I found out. And I genuinely was like, I didn't, you know, I hadn't, you know, I was only sent at friend's house, but I was, I had no idea.

So it felt like very filmy. for me, you know, because I was like, yeah, it was a big, big deal. And you'd been gigging for, what, a good five years before that, had you? Yeah, good enough, you know, kind of... So you're well known on the circuit. Yeah, and on the circuit, you sort of had stopped for a couple of years. Yeah, so I was sort of in and out of it, really. But it was really interesting, because I'm really grateful for the award and what it did

for me, but I went and saw other shows, and I thought, oh, that must hurt. That show's really good. You know, I can't remember who it was or whatever. I thought, oh, you weren't nominated. You know, the arbitrariness of a award. as much as they're amazing when they land in your favour. After Edinburgh, that was when you started a lot more TV. Yeah, I hadn't done any TV before Edinburgh.

So I did Russell How was Good News was the first one where we did. And that felt huge because it was stand up. The mic went halfway through. Were you very nervous? Do you get nervous? Yeah, because I had a nice shoe. Very strange outfit I was wearing. I was wearing leggings and dresses.

This one looks like the tail end of that way. weird thing that people used to wear. Like, when you feel, I don't know, like, you know, you sort of think, I haven't really lived through many fashions and I'm like, but I had a heel, a really nice heel. And then five minutes before I went on, I got into this thing of like, I hadn't really worn heels on stage and I'd put on these pink converse boots.

And they look fine, but it looked mad because their leggings, they look like really thick tights or something. They looked weird. I was really nervous. But that was, and that went well, you know, overall the reception was good. And I knew Russell, so he was lovely. I remember again, I remember seeing you on.

have I got news one of the early appearances you did and I think that show looks so terrifying it used to be terrifying but you were you were just completely yourself yeah very authentic and funny without changing your stick I thought which is why I thought you know that's quite hard to do though obviously when you first go on panel shows you're the newest on this what you used to be like so this is it has changed you know in those 10 years 12 years now you're normally the newest, newest aunt, and you're the only woman. And this is what it used to be like on them.

And so you've got an audience of people who respond differently to the people they know are funny, who are certified funny. So you'd say a thing, and you're like, and then it wouldn't happen. So then it would throw you in such a weird way because it felt like being at a dinner table and then, you know, it just doesn't land. And so, yeah, I sort of got, but there are different skillsets to be in front of, you know, it's who you're on with. And I sort of enjoy them now. And if I don't, I sort of have confidence it wasn't me. Like I try my hardness and prep and, you know, and have, my job is to sort of have fun. You know, and I try and do that.

I try and create, you know, if I'm on the show, I try and always be like, is this joyful? Is it going to be fun? You know, am I having fun? Do people at home? Because sometimes, you know, if you're not, if I'm really in my head, I should speak myself, I'm not in that moment. And then I don't, I feel at home they can tell that there's not a moment. It's just you're trying to get, you know,

that panic of, it's hard getting that line between over preparation and being in a moment, but that just takes experience of doing them. It's just like in life, you know, if you're trying to be sexy, if you're trying to be funny, if you're like that, when it's really like, I've got to get out in the next seven seconds, because the topic's about to move, you know. But with my accent, it's like, you know, I don't finish sentences and I've got, you know, quite a working class accent, obviously. I can sound like I'm in trouble when I'm just thinking through it.

And I don't, because I'm not trying to sound like someone else, like you said, on a TV, where I'm not trying to be like, actually, what I find is, and then you're like, oh, because then you lose your, but then I don't know what's funny if I'm talking in that voice. How do you cope? Sarah Milliken has this rule about you're not allowed to think about the gig after 11am the next day. That's a great rule, yeah. How do you process if something doesn't go so well? I take it all very badly.

So immediately, like I've never got to the mind. Well, I'm very philosophical about it and I just found very resilient. It's one of the things that I should, well, I take it all very badly. I do. I don't really have many. I could, I had just after then, I know where I'm going to land. I've never landed. I try and be like, I'm fine with that thing.

But immediately my brain would always be like it goes into absolute, you know, and it's not a healthy thing. Like, you did it wrong. you know, good, it's gone, you're rubbish, it's all very... Do you spiral, no? Yeah, I'll spiral after, but then I've got better at shortening how long I'm down there for. I want to talk to you about Game Face because, I mean, I don't need to tell you how brilliant it is. Thank you, my love. Because it really is. I'm so pleased you liked it.

Oh, it's, I just think one of the, I didn't just like it. I've seen it so many times, I felt seen. And everything about that was and is brilliant. And it's a risk, isn't it sometimes, I guess? Making characters, showing that vulnerability and frailty, but it pays off because the laughs are bigger, I think. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no, totally.

No one laughs at a hero. No. You know, a real... Fuck you. You need, like... Well, I mean, there probably is examples, I'm sure, but I didn't, I always, I always wanted to write someone who was like that, you know, kind of, uh, and sort of, you know, messy and not as behaves badly, but not an arseller. Look, the robins. I love it when they come out.

One thing that really struck me is this woman is a total perfectionist. Thank you, festival. That's really sweet. I worked and, you know, an amazing team, amazing producer and director and stuff. But in the writing, like it was really hard because I was, you know, you get this, I wanted it to be felt, I wanted it to feel as real as it could be for a comedy, but also a belly laughs. And that just felt so much harder than I thought when I first started doing it. Because every time I sort of wanted to make it sort of believable was someone you were invested in a little bit in her life. Then I felt like I had to lose jokes. If I could hear the typewriter, so to speak, you know, like I was like, well, I'm very pleased with myself. They were like, gag, aren't I?

Yeah. And I was like, well, that means it has to go. I just think there's an amazing piece of work, and it's one of those things that will just... Thank you, mate. You're really kind. That's really sweet of you. But it's not just me.

I mean, everyone loves that show. You know, it's so nice when I'm brilliant... Listen, without being obsequious, but like, when people like, people are really brilliant and funny, like, that's who I wrote it for, you know? I'd hate if it were like, I'd hate the show. Are you... A people, please, huh?

Yes, I think I've tried, I'm conflict diverse and so until I'm not, if you get what I mean. Like I'm like, and if I've got no way out, God help you. Like I'll always leave every situation. If I'm not like rowy or anything like that, but like I just, I guess unless it's work, like writing and stuff, I don't, I'll, I can hold my ground with that a bit. with what I want to make. But I, yeah, I think I do. I really, I don't like people not liking me. I don't like people having a bad opinion of me,

that sort of thing, you know. And you know, as you get older, I feel like, oh God, that's exhausting to still have that. So I try to work on not having that as much. Talking about the sort of, just kind of confronting and being truthful with people, I've started to say to people, which is difficult, it's taking me an entire lifetime.

When someone says, oh so-and-so said this about you, and it's not 100% pleasant. And often their motives aren't dark. No. They think they're being helpful. They think they want to know. I just, now, before they can even continue, I just say, it's none of my business what they think of me. Yeah. And then move on.

Because I know how bad that makes me feel. Yeah. Because I know when I have a row with a close friend, in that minute, they don't like me. Yeah. And that's fine. Yeah. Because guess what? Sometimes I don't like friends for a minute. Of course.

But that's so true and I think guess I think gossip, I love it. No, everyone does. But, you know, like, but Goldie Haunt, I became how I felt after it. Listen, I love a safe gossip, like a safe sex. You know, like with a good friend and, you know, kind of, but when it gets into, I don't know, I don't feel good about it. As I've got older, I really don't enjoy it as much. And not in a kind of pious way.

I don't know how honest I'm being actually, because that's not true. I think I do enjoy it, but I don't like the fact that I enjoy, you know, it makes me feel grubby after. It's like I enjoy things that are bad for me, you know, but, and you know, and like I said, I don't want, I think it's dishonest of me to make out, like, you know, if there's gossip in the room, I'm leaving. I'm not. I love it. I'll pick up, like, ribs and chew through them, you know. And, you know, like, that's, but that's, I'm aware of it now. Like, I just feel like, just the energy that you can put around people, you know, or that you, like, you, like, if someone says something to me, I'll not be contrarian, but I'll be like, oh, who said it?

Like, I'm trying to be like, where's this coming from? Where's it's it's, you know, kind of, if it sounds personal experience, I don't, like, that's fine. I don't mind that, then I don't, that's gossip, that's their experience and they're telling me, but if it's, like, about someone, I'm more aware of how I feel after. I think, like, it's bad for your spirit. Do you know, you're very trustworthy. I think you're someone I could very much leave my phone with unlocked. Could you? Yeah. I just had to check. with myself there. I thought, yeah. I just remember I had an old ex-boyfriend and I loved him going out so I could read his diary. I'd be excited about him going out. I was like, God, I can't

wait until he goes out and get into that diary. What was it like? Really boring. It was like our to-do list. Load the dishwasher. The fact he did it, like it had anything worth reading in, was real, I was like, this. Hello. Hello, doggy. Hello. Little Norfolk Terrier. Oh they gorgeous. Are they Norwich? Oh Norwich. Sorry.

Sorry. Norwich Terriers. Absolutely beautiful. Raymond, say hello to the Norwiches. Hey, Raymond's co. Oh, thank you. Oh, the dog. Look at his tail.

What are they called? The Norwich Terriers? This one is Poppy. That one is Bonnie. Polly. Hi, Bonnie. Are either of these two black boys? No, she's a girl.

she's a girl she's a good Raymond's a boy but he's been done oh right no he couldn't no offense but he couldn't be less interested oh my dog's face she's she's so sweet oh lovely to meet you have a nice evening bye bye I know I was going to ask you I had something I was going to ask you I really got a very good energy when I first met you but there's a particular type of energy which I personally put down, I noticed with people who've had, I suppose, experience loss at some point in their life. And when I say loss, everyone experiences loss, but I mean a life interrupted, you know, which yours was with your dad because he died far too soon. And I had that with my sister.

And I do think it changes you. And there's a legacy to that. And I think it's an energy I kind of think I pick up on it. in people. How do you think it changes you when you lose someone before their time? I think, I guess that bad things happen, you know, and as a child as you get older, you're constantly just, you know, you're trying to avoid bad things happening. That's sort of the, your parents, wait, hop, so wait, cross, cross, cross, cross, cross, cross, cross, cross, that's sort of the whole thing

and then a thing happens that you can't stop and you can't prepare for and you like it's so funny when you put it into words other than you feel more vulnerable and you feel the negative more vulnerable

and a sort of that not everything's going to be written that life isn't going to have this shape to it that you don't get to write an end and it's not going to be, it's not a script. There's a beginning, middle and end, and it's all going to make sense, and this all works out. You know, there's just, there is a script, but you won't see nowhere near the end.

You know, like, new writers come in, and your story will make sense. I don't know. It's so true. And I think sometimes people who don't, haven't walked that particular path, sometimes, thank you, sometimes don't quite get. And I understand that, because it's a weird thing, but it's sometimes that it's still quite visceral for me, and I feel it. it. Only because...

I think a sibling is different to a parent. Yeah, I do. And not like, you know, top trumps in loss and all that. You know, everyone, you know, but I, when my cousin died and he was young as well and my aunt had to bury, you know, him and he's small, like that felt different. The funeral felt different, you know, like it feels different to bury a child. You know, and I said a sibling is, Ray. May, come here.

Where's Harpo? Harpo. Right behind you. Oh, my God. I do that 10 times a day. I do it in my house. I think one of the things it does do is, and when I have,

when I'm heads out of my own ass, is that when it happened, and I had a lot, my mum, some aunties die as well, like my mum, there's quite a lot of, around that time,

was I couldn't believe that people were walking around with it happening all the time. And I was like, it felt, I was like, oh my God, everyone I've met.

Yeah. You know, it just really freaked me out that it was this part of life that. And now I have a sort of, I try and be like, God, people are going through so much all the time. Yeah. And you can meet this really funny, brilliant, like, you know, you, like brilliant, amazing, funny, clever person. You don't know what's going on in their, you know, in their lives.

You know, when I got to know you and, I don't know, it makes me more compassion. to people, I think, that everyone's sort of grieving. If you're over the age of three, you know, and even then, you know, but you're grieving and it can, it can be so many things. It can be a person. It can be, you know, what didn't happen, what did happen. But I think a person, you know, like a sister, that yours is, because, you know, you all speak so beautifully about it on your book and that feels so much more open-ended.

And I have that sense with her of, we didn't finish the conversation. That's it. You know, like that feeling of... And I'm still having it. Yeah. But I get that energy of you. You were talking about. I get that energy.

I think you could be... You know, when people say, like, Prince and Porbers, I think you could sit in any room. And that's a very rare thing. I don't know. I think you're interested and interesting, which is, that's normally my two. Some people are very interesting,

but they don't care about anyone else. And you're like, oh wow, very interesting, aren't you? I feel that with you, though, because you're very un-elitist and you're someone who's pretty well-known. Oh, embarrassing. That sounds like I'm your long-suffering PA. Doesn't it? Like I'm like this. Yeah, I mean, you're very well-known, madam.

No, but you're very well-known. You've got high recognizability. And, yeah. I don't, yeah, I don't feel like, I don't feel any of that, but I do feel like in rooms, I don't feel on the whole, like I've got more social anxiety after lockdown. I got like, when I'm walking to a lot of energy, I'm like, too, oh, okay, lots of people, lots of people. And I felt like I'd lost, I think I said this to you, like, you know, I'm not normally a clumsy speaker. Like, you know, I can be a little bit, oh, all over the place, but not sort of, and a couple of times I sort of said things that were bit clumsy. You know, I was like, oh, I asked someone about someone they broke up and a couple of it.

You know, and I was like, oh God, I haven't got the energy for this. Look at this. Do you want to say what's happening? Ray's climbing over some very small paving slabs, but they're his Everest. You can do it, Ray. Good boy. Yay, goodbye. But fame is not something that you like it.

I don't really notice it. Like, I'll get it in periods. I don't, I don't. It's odd. What strange is my voice. People recognise me from my voice, which I found really weird. So I've had no makeup and a mask. And I think even if I had makeup or I don't think it would have recognised me. And then I've spoken and someone's gone, oh, you're that. And I said, how could you tell? And I thought, I said, very distinctive eyes. And very distinctive naked eyes. And they were like, no, your voice. And I was like, oh, that's quite odd. But yeah, I haven't really, there's the odd thing. I just try not to, um,

You know, occasionally, you know, people will take a photo at asking or whatever and stuff like that. But it's so rare. It's so not, there's so little of it of me being like, oh my God, someone has recognised me today. You know, it's like there's not, I don't have much. I guess I don't go to many show busy things. I've got some friends, but I only hang up with people I sort of genuinely get on with. Oh, I've loved our walk. It was really good.

Come on, Raymond. Well, we're going to say goodbye for the purposes of the podcast, but because I believe in full disclosure, oh, there's some, well, we're going to be serenaded out for the end of the podcast. Bye. Weller, well, well, the slightly problematic summer nights. Oh, God, yeah. Did you get very far?

I'm sorry. We don't approve of this. Hi. Hi. Can you give me a hug? Can't get any kisses. You give him any kisses. Kissy, kissy.

Yes. Bye, bye, Harpo. You give me kisses. Yes. Ray. Bye, bye, Harper. Mw. Give me kisses. I really hope you enjoyed listening to that. And do remember to rate, review and subscribe on iTunes.