Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Russell Howard

Episode Date: October 27, 2017

Emily goes out for a walk with comic Russell Howard and his Parson Jack Russell terrier, Archie. They talk about the thing that really makes him angry, why he can never wear a suit, inventing a voice for his dog, why he stopped working out and that time he tried therapy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's Archie's voice? Archie's is that. So it's that kind of quite curt. So, and he refers to me as Sir. Hi, I'm Emily Dean and this is Walking the Dog. This week I went out with comic Russell Howard and his very cute Parsons-Jackal Terrier, Archie. Archie and Russell taught me a brilliant new game.

It's called Running Through Leaves. Why have I never done this before? It's amazing. We had a really nice chat about life and love and comedy and all that big stuff. Russell's got a reputation actually for being incredibly generous and he's known for buying people extraordinary gifts and I noticed he paid for the teas

I was kind of thinking more along the lines of a sports car though anyway I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed doing it oh and you can catch his show the Russell Howard Hour which is on Thursdays at 10 on SkyWon and it's really good I've seen it you should watch it oh and please remember to rate review and subscribe on iTunes because you'll keep me happy and trust me You want to keep me happy.

Arch, you ready for a strut? We have to call it a strut. Because if you say walk... Russell, look, he's called his paws hanging over the stairs. That's right. As soon as the leads on, we've got to get out. Come on, Arch. Shush. Shush, mate.

So this is walking the dog. I'm Emily Dean and I'm with Russell Howard. And we're with his lovely dog. Can you introduce your dog, Russell? My dog is called Archie. called Archie or Arch or Archibald or the People's Prince or the Mutt of Ishrer or Sweet Arch he has many names. And what is he?

He's a Jack Russell. Yeah. Yeah. Parsons, I think. Oh really? Okay. Yeah, yeah. But he had a palmer virus when he was young.

So that's why his kind of paws are a bit sort of bigger and his tongue is a bit bigger. So he should be bigger than he is. Oh really? That's why he walks a bit like Liam Gallagher. I was trying to work out where I recognise that swag of course. Exactly, yeah. So he's bringing it back. He could go on sloths in their eyes.

So how long and how old is Archie? He is 7 and a half. He's 57. If he were a man, he'd be 57. But he'd be a fairly weird 57-year-old man in that he's got a lead on. And he's taking to eating frogs. Has he really? Yeah, we've got frogs in the garden.

Sorry to any frog fans out there. Weird, but it's that, you know, there's always this assumed sort of glamour to being on telly. But the other day, literally after the telly show, I was in the garden trying to get frogs out of his mouth. And that's another thing you'll notice. What? Do you see that? He went for that motorbike then? I did.

Because he, we got him from a garage in Bristol. It was like a motorbike garage. Really? He's got this weird thing with motorbikes. so whenever he sees them he kind of charges at him. What in a sort of mummer way? He associates them with you. I don't know, but it's more in a, come on then!

But it's really properly strange. But he's got small man syndrome, clearly. Why did you get him? Did you have dogs growing up? Yeah. We had Jack Russell's growing up. Oh, did you? Yeah, we had...

And this was in Bristol, wasn't it? Yes. So we had... Our first dog was, she called Bonnie, and she was a whip-it, cross with a Labrador. She was amazing. She looked a bit like Dobby, the house self.

Oh, really? Yeah, she was really cool. Yeah. And then we had a jarousel called Jess. And then Jess had some puppies, which we put on the weirdest experiences. That when we were, I was 12, my brother and sister were 10. Yeah. So, mum announced that Jess was going to get pregnant.

Yeah. So we all went to this farm where we lived and basically Jess got fucked. And we were all there kind of sort of watching it. Yeah, it was really, and we were like, in this moment, like, why could we not have been left at home? But we watched this, basically, this dog really go out our dog. Oh, God. And it was pretty traumatic. It was kind of how we learned about sex.

It was really, it was really odd, really strange. And then she had, so she had six puppies. Yeah. We got rid of four of them, and then we kept tilly. Yeah. And we kept birds. Motorbikes, Russell. Exactly.

So we had loads of birds. Murt and Tilly and now my mum has a drag on my god's shit. This is Ninnett, your mum, isn't it? Because she's a bit of a star in her own right. That's absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Dave is your dad? That's right, yeah, yeah. And you've got a brother and a sister?

I do. So was your, oh, well, she's just taking a leave. Yeah. Was your childhood sort of, I imagine it to be in this quiet, sort of busy, noisy house, lots of characters. Yes. Was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, everyone's very, yeah, very kind of mouthy. But in a, like yeah, they're just really funny. Yeah. So we were at, I was at my cousin's wedding the other day. And every time I'm there, just reminded of how much I love being part of my family. Like it's like being in a Pogue song. It's just like everything's going off. And there's, yeah, there's just chat and conversation and shouting and screaming and kids.

We all look like we're in this registry office. Yeah. And all of our family, without doubt, it was the ugliest wedding I've ever been to. It's just hideous. We're just, we all look like rats. Oh, it's a pigeon. Archie, it's a pigeon. And a motorbike.

But we look like, you know the families that are waiting for their loved one who's just been on X Factor? Like in that kind of waiting room, we all look like that. So. Were you always the funny one? It was always like, like my family and school, it's almost like the perfect prep for being on a panel show. Really? Yeah, because you just sort of, no one in my family would ever kind of go, so how was your day at school? and I feel like that. It was just like you just get in there.

Really? Yeah, you have to seize the edit. So I remember when I first started doing Mark the Week, everyone was like, it's so barbaric. He's not really, it's just like tea. He's barking a lot today. My girlfriend's going to be really upset. Why, you're letting the family down. Well, that's it. And she was sort of saying beforehand, and he's never barked at people before. There was a nice woman there, we should say, with a push chair with the beach, she went,

hi doggy, and he went, ah, right. Yeah, as soon as he's off the lead, it'll be all right. What's his temperament like as a dog? He seems ever so cute, Russell. He's lovely, but he's got a really weird thing at night. Like he really wants to be around you all the time. And then at night, he just doesn't want anything to do with you. So he'll kind of sleep at the bottom of the bed and you'll kind of stroke him.

And he just gives you daggers. It's really strange, yeah, for the rest of the days. That's like some men I've dating. What's your dog like? Is your dog like that? My dog is a Shih Tzu. Okay. He looks like an Ewok. Yeah.

And he doesn't bark. He sort of goes, like chubacca. He sounds like chubacca. I mean, he's incredibly cute, but he does sort of poo and we a lot. See, my mum's dog never used to bark. And then she came to live, he came to stay with us for a week. We're going through here. Yeah, we'll go through it.

And then Archie got him to bark. So he taught him to bark. Sorry. Tought him to bark and taught him to drink from puddles, which is one of Arch's big thing. We're letting Archie off the lead now. I don't really want to give away where Russell lives because he has a lot of fans, but we're in, where should we say we are?

We're in a lovely park in London. Nice to leave your park. And for a bit of fun in a minute I'll kick some leaves. Do you want to see something? What's this? I love to see. Hodge boy. This is one of his favourite things. This is brilliant.

This is brilliant. So he likes chasing them and if you get it going, Russell is really cooking the leaves. And he's doing it with his box fest, Van Smith. Yeah. It's one of, yeah. I'm doing it now. This is the best game ever.

He loves it. He's a big fan of autumn. I sound like a football manager now. Do you like this? Do you want some? Want the ball, aren't she? When did you move to London, Russell? I moved in, what did I move to London?

Two thousand... What was it? Yeah, 2003. I lived in New Crosse. Sorry, sorry, sorry. He's joined another family, Russell. This will happen. Come, mate.

See you. Nice. 2003, I moved to New Cross and lived there for a bit. Yeah. And then went back to Bristol. And then booked properly in London since 2008. And did you have a sense when you were coming here? Because I want to know about how you got into comedy.

Okay. I know you went to university, didn't you? Yes. But you had the best universities in the country on your doorstep. Yeah. Well, it was sort of weird really because we sort of moved around. Like, I'm from Bristol, but we moved around. Oh, Alex's doing poop.

Well done, Archie. Well done, sweetheart. Oh my gosh. Archie with that ball in his mouth. I've never seen anything so cute. He looks like a Disney dog. Get your ball? Shush. Come on, Arch.

You're letting yourself down. And it's a bit like, you know, when you go on a school trip? he's behaving like an unruly kid. When your partner gets really drunk because I have had a new friend. Yeah, Christ. So yeah, so going to Bristol. So I went to, yeah, I went to university there

and just started doing gigs. Literally in the first week I did a gig. So my whole aim when I was university was to become a stand-up really. Really? Yeah, I was doing gigs. I used to gig like three times a week. But when does that happen?

I know you were saying you had almost like quite a mock the week set up in your house. Yes. Naturally, but when does that happen where you sort of think, oh, okay, I'm quite funny, aren't I? This is a currency for me. Do you know what I mean? This is something I can do. Do you remember the moment? I remember having a chat with my teacher when I was, I'd have been 15, and I was just being, you know, just being silly and making, I used to make her laugh. And then was Mrs. Ford.

And like, I don't know, something was said, it was in German, and something went on the board, and did anyone know what this is? And I said something funny, and she laughed and went, don't do that all the time. And she had a word with me afterwards and said, you just have to stop this. And I was kind of really honest with her and said, I just can't help it. It's sort of, it's out my... My aunties met her food. Is it approved?

Yeah, it'd be all right. You approve? Hitchie ball. He's not used to being ignored. That's the weird thing. So yeah, and I was just really honest with her and just said I can't help it. That I just, it was out before I even thought, I'm not misbehaving, I just can't help it. And that was a real kind of, and she was like, fair enough.

So my teachers never used to get annoyed with me. They'd kind of sort of laugh and we'd all, there was a bunch of us, we'd all muck around. Yeah. Yeah, so that was the first time. And then I kind of got obsessed with Lee Evans when I was a kid. Oh, did you? Yeah, so I used to watch his videos. And then, I don't know, I just, it was always this sort of dream I had from about 15.

of like all these jokes. Keep ball watch. Key ball. Key ball. Key ball. So yeah, and that was it really. I just, uh. Because I look at you now and you know,

you've got a large female fan base as well as male. But you know, I would see you as someone who's, you know, you took a lot of boxes. When you were growing up, were you the jock that kind of got the girl and was very cool or were you the kind of geeky, a bit awkward? Well, it was sort of a bit of both really because I was, like, my main thing, I'm good at football. So that was my main thing.

All I did at school really was play football. And then I kind of started, when I was about 15, I started getting into war poetry. Really? Yeah, I really loved it. Like, we had this amazing English teacher. And I started getting into drama a bit. That would, and so it was like a combination of that, really, sort of 80% lad. 20% kind of like drama student, really.

And did you get into girls, young? Not really, no. I had really terrible acne, and I've got a lazy eye. Yeah. And it's a really weird thing with having a... So you just avoid eye contact all the time. So people either think you're really shy or really arrogant. Do you do it now still?

Yeah, yeah, because... As a hangover from... You just can't. Like, it's just a defence mechanism. Yeah. To kind of... So it means you can never read what's going on with women. So you know, because you're not looking at them.

You're looking at their... lips. What you're doing? Gable, son. Yeah, wasn't really a womanizer as such. Were you not? No, not really. I had a couple of girlfriends, but I wasn't, you know. You're a one woman man. Yeah. I had a girlfriend when I was 15 and then, you know, I'm with my girlfriend now. Archie boy, where's your ball? So, um, so we're talking about Kerris, your girlfriend. Yes, and she's a doctor, which I kind of love that she's a doctor. Yes, it's great.

Oh yeah, brilliant. It's really... What do you like about it? I like that it's a... It's a proper job and it's a vital job and you're sort of very proud of her. And she tells me all these stories about people that she's helped or saved or conversations with and I'm not allowed to tell any of them. They're so sweet and funny and warm and weird.

Yeah. But yeah, it's really interesting to spend time with someone that's motivated solely by trying to make people happy. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But they're not you motivated by that as well. Yeah, but I get paid really well for it. She doesn't. That's the weird thing.

So my thing is they're very similar. Being a doctor and being comedian, very similar because it's that thing of you have the ability to kind of reach into your brain and pick out stuff. Like I've got that kind of brain. kind of brain, I can remember stuff and but it's all nonsense and she's got exactly the same brain but she can find useful things and I can only find silliness. But they're very similar. Yeah, and you spend years trying to be a doctor and then you are a doctor and you want to be it and be the best you can in the same comedy. Do you know me it takes ages to get there? Yeah. And then once you're in it, it's so much fun. Well it's one of those jobs where the 10,000

Lawyer's principle is absolutely necessary, isn't it? Absolutely, completely. And you're defined by your profession. Yeah. And particularly for my girlfriend, she doesn't look like a doctor. We should say at this point she's quite hot Russell's girlfriend. I call her the hot doctor. I do you?

Yeah. She sounds like, yeah, it's a book she could write. But I think that it's far more interesting for her to be, you know, a doctor rather than going out with a comedian. I was going to say. It's more interesting for me as well. Well, before we sort of set off. and we were having a cup of tea in your place and we were talking about that.

And you were saying, oh, look at those poodles, Russell. Yeah, I'm not into poodles. Really, but look. It looks like Brian May. It's brilliant. Honestly, there's nothing for me. I love them. I love your dogs.

They're senior, they're gonna be nine. All right. How old are they? They're gonna be nine. All right. Oh, they're brilliant. I want nice to meet you. Come on, Arch.

Bye. Bye. Arch, you went at least 16% more camp. when he was with those pupils. Yeah. See, it's really, yeah, I'm not into poodles at all. You didn't like any? I really like Jack Russell's and I like beagles.

That's about it. Okay. Do you know what I mean? It's like with kids. Like, you know, like I don't like all babies. They don't have that, you know, like, my girlfriend loves every dog. Whereas, like, we went, first of all,

when she really wanted a dog, we went to this weird farm in like, middle of Warwick. And it was this mangy, like, fleurid and thing. And she was like, oh, he's beautiful. Can we have him? You're like, absolutely not. But I think having your girlfriend,

because you were commuting for a while, weren't you? Yeah, we should live in Leamington. That was it. But did you think you had a sense that it was important? I mean, obviously you'd met someone and you'd really fallen for her. But do you think there was also, you had a sense of the job that you do,

it's important for you to be in, a stable kind of long-term relationship that has nothing to do with that world in a way. Oh, right. Well, yeah, I think it must be very difficult to go out with another comedian. But a lot of people do, but yeah, it's kind of, because I use my life a lot. It must be that weird experience if something funny happens to you, who has ownership of it. So you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's also just a nice switch off rather than I've got enough kind of anxiety. tea and... Are you easy to live with? No. No. Why not? Because I'm messy. I was actually given a list of things that I have to change about myself by Keris,

which is very funny. Go on then, what are they? She wanted to go to a football game. She didn't have a football game, which is easy to do. When I make cereal, I've got to let her have a bite of it. Always make a cup of tea for everyone rather than just myself. Okay. I'm not to put my hands down my trousers.

does one in the kitchen and this could be a kick off. Yeah. I was just going quickly nip in there and get a tea, is that right? Yeah, let's go. And then if we do a loop around there. Oh, perfect. Better. Yeah, it's very, um.

Yeah, it was really funny, but it's a brilliant list. Because after, I've just done like an eight month tour. Yeah. And yeah, it was really cute and funny. But I'm quite messy. Are you? Yeah, really messy. But she's bad too, but I'm a different level.

But you see those are things that are quite easy to fix, I would say. Yeah. Is there anything that you would say inherently about you as a person? Do you know, there's a thing on... Have you seen the Walk of Wall Street? Yeah, yeah. You know that bit where Decape is walking along and he has an orange juice and he throws out of his shoulder?

Yeah. Like, I can't tell you how much my girlfriend laughed at that because she was like, that is you. And there's a story that Louis C.K tells when he's living with Mark Maron where he's spilt some hot sauce on his carpet. He couldn't clean it up, he just couldn't bring himself to. And I have that exact, I just, like, I can sit and write jokes and, like, also, like, also, like that, but I would just leave rubbish. I don't have it, I don't have it in me.

It's so weird. So if she wasn't there, you'd be living in an absolute shit. Yeah, I wouldn't have a bed. I would have, I would never do anything like that. Like, when I lived on my own, I would just, I just had a mattress. I just, I would live like that, genuinely. You know, like, in the Sopranos. when there's a hit taken out of them, that's how I'd live.

I just got no interest in it. I love a messy house there. Okay, here's a question. Do you have a temper? Yes. Do you? Yeah, but not with, only with, mostly with football, really. That's like, that's the only time I really,

and Kerriss can't get a head around it. But, for example, when we drew three or, when Liverpool drew three or with Bournemouth, and we threw one up, I went. absolutely mental and was like punching, punching the sofa and screaming. And Kerriss can't really understand that. But that's the thing that gets me angriest, really. Really? Yeah.

That's the only, and like sometimes at gigs, when you kind of, particularly doing the show at the minute, you kind of work so hard. And if something doesn't work or they, I get annoyed at myself more than people, yeah. What you're also to say, come on, Russell. Or like, you know, like, fuck. Yeah.

So it's the exhaust. inspiration when things aren't going. We should say actually you're doing this show at the moment for Sky One, which is brilliant. And it's called, is it the Russell Howard? It's called the Russell Howard Hour. Yeah. I wanted to call it Woe and Wonder. Yeah.

They wouldn't let me have that. And it's sort of a roundup of the news and it's really brilliant. I really like it actually, but I'm interested because do you see yourself in some ways as you have quite a young demographic, I think. Right. And do you feel that there's a sense of responsibility? possibility in terms of your slightly educating people who some of those people I mean there's all sorts of people watching your show but there's your younger fans I think

it's great that they're learning about news as well and not watching TOWY do you know what I mean yeah well that's well that's the weird thing that we do like so write the show with our mutual friend Steve Hall yes and Steve Williams and Dan Atkinson and a girl called Kiri Pritchard McLean and the, we were talking about this, we just go up here, talk about this over the day. We basically, we're doing reality TV. That's what our show is. And because reality at the minute is that we're all glued to the news and we're all kind of, you know, looking at what Trump's done or we're reacting to stories like Grenfell or we're finding out that housing's down 97% since 2010 and we're all plugged in. And that's reality.

It is an orange people trying to bang on a beach. And I think that TV is pretty lazy and kind of just slop feeds people this shit. It's harder to make a show about the world, but I think it's really important to try and make sense of it because I think we all felt that. I certainly did. This summer was really...

And I spent a lot of time away from England and I saw all the terror attacks and the general election and our country's really broken and really disenfranchised. And it feels like post-Brexit, the worst thing to come out of that was like everything now, sort of words were appearing that you hadn't seen before and sort of all these hate attacks and you just want to make sense of it.

And I was listening to, this is pretty weird, but I was listening to a lot of Kendrick Lamar. and I was just fascinated by how he was basically like if you listen to his album there's just loads of funny dick gags and kind of social commentary so I kind of, it was really interesting you kind of go, of course you can talk about stuff like that

because my whole tour, well not all of it but a big chunk of it was about girls one in four, 16 to 25 year old girls in the UK self-harm and that was a big part and I was talking about that in arenas. Yeah. You know, but you absolutely can. And I think for a long time...

But that's why that you can have that conversation. Well, and for a long time, I didn't think that people would be interested in stuff like that. Right. But it came about because, you know, the idea if you're doing a gig in front of 18,000 people, you know, you've got to kind of keep it simple. But the last tour, it was definitely the most sort of confrontational show I've ever done. And it was the best just because you're talking about things being broken or like it really upset me like one in four like self-harming and you sort of look why are they

what what's happened to us why why is nobody speaking about this you know do you ever get young people writing to you or getting in touch with you and saying yeah yeah do you and what sort of things do they say i don't know like i have quite a lot of people what's very interesting i have a lot of people all over the world who are very similar that for what and i think this happens to most comedians that i think a lot of people are in quite a down place and being on a whack-on Mickey Flanagan or McIntyre or Chappelle or whoever, it really cheers people up. So that's the main thing I get really,

that a lot of people are quite down, and they kind of watch my stuff and it cheers them up, you know? And then you meet them massively just. They're always so disappointed because you can... How are people when they meet you then? What's their response to you? It's just really sweet and lovely and I'm pretty normal. You are quite normal actually, Russell.

Once I've done a gig, I'm sort of, I'm done. Oh, this is exciting. We're about to see a penalty. This is very, are you a football phone? Yeah, I am. Nice. Here we go. I think this is going to be bottom right.

Let's have a look. Do you think so? He's a meaty lad. He's taking a very small run up. He knows exactly what he's doing, bottom right. And he's just going to bang it. Bang. Oh, there you go.

There you go. No one celebrates a penalty, mate. I'm ready. I said to Russell Howard earlier. What do you get angry? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I didn't believe him when he said football. Yeah.

He's already kicking off. And an amateur coats on the ground. It's pathetic. Jumpers for goalposts game. And the worst, if you want to see the worst side of me, it's playing football with my brother. Because I love my brother. It's just, he's the best. But when we play football, we are eight years old again.

It's hot. It's so horrible and so mean. Your life seems so kind of perfect. Well, it's nice. Well, it does. So what isn't perfect? Like when you were growing up, I can't see. Did you have anything bad happened to you?

I was, yeah, I kind of lost. I was thrown for a window at school when I was 15. Really? Yeah, yeah. And I, how did that happen? Well, it was all very, there was basically, I played, it's all to do with football, always comes down to football, but I played for a team and I was quite good.

So I left that team and I went to another team and then I was hanging out with, basically, there was, there was agro with, my new team and this team that I joined. So I was the only person that went to my school that played for this other team. Right. Yeah, and it was all a bit weird and, you know,

got slung through a window and lost all my friends. Well, you said it was all weird, what someone pushed you through a window? Yeah, a kid in the year above, sort of, like, to be honest, thank God he did, otherwise I had the shit really kicked out of me. So as it is, I took a bit of a beating and then luckily I was put through a window,

which didn't actually hurt that much, but it caused like enough shock for him, to kind of run off. Otherwise, I think you'd have really beaten the fuck, I don't know. But that must have been quite traumatic. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty weird. The interesting thing is, because up to that point, I was just, you know, really good at football and, you know, just bouncing around, you know, normal kind of pretty intelligent kid, not super smart, not super thick, knocking along. And then that happened, and I kind of lost all my friends. But it meant that...

Why did you lose all your friends because of this argument, basically? Yeah. And so it meant that I hung out. with the freaks and geeks and it was brilliant. So it turned... Because the plastics had rejected you. Yeah. Completely. And it was really great actually.

And it, sort of often looking back on it, you know when people say, like of mouthy kids, you're like, what he needs, he needs a really good idea and it'll sort him out. And it turns out, sometimes it does out. But yeah, that was a big thing. Do you look back and think, I mean, obviously no one is justifying what they did? Yeah. But do you think in some ways you would have been, yeah, you would have been a different person? So, because people often say, don't they, that...

Well, like, because I never used to go out. So as a consequence, like on a Friday, Saturday, this is always pretty funny when he picks up his stick. So Archie's got a giant stick here. And he'll pick that up, come on, bring a stick. Come on, bring a stick. Archie. If you just walk, see?

But he just wants you to play with it. But he will carry it. Come on, there you go. Oh my God, that's the cutest thing I've ever seen. Mental. But so I never used to go out on a Friday and Saturday and sort of hang around town, drink. in the park because I'd have been beaten up.

So I was watching, have I got news for you with my dad? Really? So, yeah, and that's kind of weirdly where I got into, I mean, that's pretty funny, isn't it? It's weirdly where I got into comedy. And did you look at that and think I really want to be on that? Or did it not occur to you that you could be on that? It wasn't about that.

I just just love it. It's sort of that thing of, like, seeing the, the effect that Paul Merton had of my dad. Like my dad used to howl or seeing the, when David Jason fell through the bar, seeing the look, my nan and my granddad, it absolutely destroyed them. And I'll never forget that. It was just the best, just these two very normal working class people,

just losing their shit over a man falling for a bar. So, I don't know. Would you describe your family as working class? Oh, yeah, yeah. Really? So what did your parents do? You were a dinner lady? She was a dinner lady, and then she was a mum.

Well, I think they were certainly born, obviously now, their middle class, but my wider family is still very kind of working class. My dad went to university, but when mum and dad met, dad was living in a car because his dad left before he was born and his mum died when he was 17. So he was in a bit of a pickle. And yeah, he met my mum when he was... And he didn't get... And he didn't get on this...

I like that you described that as a bit of a pickle. Instead of saying, well, he was probably suffering from some sort of low-grade depression. Yeah, he was in a right? Well, yeah. Do you think it was looking back? He must have been in a bad mistake. Oh, yeah, Christ. Yeah, it's incredibly traumatic for him.

Yeah. But he and his mum died of a heart attack, and he had a big row with her that morning. So, you know, the last thing he said to her was said in anger. So my dad never goes to bed on an argument. Really? So that's his thing, yeah. Do you think you feel like that as well, having heard that story when you were younger, or are you happy to have around? Oh, yeah. No, I try and solve things before you get to bed. Yeah. But their mum and dad were together from very early age.

And mum had me when she was 20. Yeah. And dad was at university. So I've weirdly, I've read my dad's university diaries. And they're really funny because it's just like, he's like, did my exam. I think I nailed it. definitely at least 80% like he's crazy my dad he's really like when he's born in the same day as Hitler so he's got this weird when he's when he's when he's 11th April 14th so when he kind of sets out to do something he does it yeah he's just properly but like pretty scary but just like it you know he has that kind of this is happening but that's nice you sound like you're close to your family and actually you know it's interesting when you talk to a lot of comics I think sometimes, can't generalise, but it's kind of less the case, if I'm honest.

Sometimes comedy, the inciting incident comes, not always, but sometimes from bad stuff happening. Jimmy Carl always said, because he lost his mum when he was young. And he said he was talking to Jim Carrey and he'd said, often with comics, it's because you had to make someone laugh or you felt you had to be the person who was making it alright for everyone. But that doesn't, I can't, within your case,

It feels like quite a happy childhood. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was, I had a very happy childhood and very, you know, just me and my brother and my sister. We used to kind of, you know, hang out and listen to the top 40 in a Sunday and mum would cut our air and it looked ridiculous. And, you know, we'd kind of muck around. We used to have like a home video and we'd dick around on that and, you know, dress up and do these weird sort of sketches and stuff. You know, mum was very kind of creative and dad was really sporty and would get us doing stuff. So it was great, really. And then I sort of, the role that sort of watching comedy played in my life was so amazing.

And then I kind of, I actually sort of drifted away from my family for quite a, from probably about 15 to 25. Why was that? Just because, you know, there was a teenager and I didn't want to hang out with my parents. Yeah. Finding out who you were. Yeah, yeah. And then sort of when I first, I started doing.

comedy when I was 18. Do you remember your first gig? Were you terrified? Yeah. I remember I did, I was going out with a girl at the time. I did the whole set and it was like an hour of stuff and I read it all to her and her sister. And they kind of laughed and then I went and did it and I kind of threw up before I went on and then I threw up afterwards but yeah it was the best. It was just so exciting. I read you said something once about how and I don't want to paraphrase you because you said it but it was something. about just that feeling of being a bit like a superhero but it was a nice analogy not X-Men or something. It was. Yeah.

It's like, but it's the bit in an interview with a vampire when Brad Pitt gets bitten and then he wakes up with his new vampire eyes and that's what it felt like doing comedy because it was like for the first time you're like this is a mechanism through which you can do life so everything brilliant or everything awful can be put through this sausage maker. Yeah. and it's a brilliant way. Now, whether it's the best way to be around this human being is another matter, but it's certainly a great way to...

Why do you question that? Because you're putting everything through this filter. So rather than just being, you're kind of... You've always got, even in an awful situation, there is still part of you going, well, this could be something. Yeah. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

And it's kind of a strange filter. Again, we're talking about Jimmy. Someone like Jimmy and actually Frank Skinner. who I work with, he's a real note-taker, Frank. So, you know, he's out somewhere. Yeah. Do you do that? Yeah, I'll write it all on my iPhone.

Yeah, kind of go over it. It's the best. I think Woody Allen used to do that. So when I'm not doing stand-up, I kind of just make loads of notes in my iPhone. Yeah. And then when I'm going to do a tour, I kind of look at everything.

And I read something really cool about Woody Allen, that he basically just writes notes, and then he puts them all in a drawer. And then when he goes to write a new film, He kind of empties the drawer out onto his bed and looks at all these sort of disparate notes and figures something out. I think it's quite good

because when you're wondering about or kind of in the shower or just doing nothing you think of all these great ideas and don't really think about them when you're kind of sat right now I have to write the joke you know?

I put my last lead on now. You have to, yeah. So I've got a question for you. Yes. When did you last cry? When did I last cry? Yeah. I cried at my nan soon.

Oh, did you? Yeah, yeah. I didn't cry at my granddad's, but I really lost it in the nans. Really? Yeah, I don't know why. But I loved them both. Well, no, no, I love them both. Yeah.

Something about, yeah, my nan. So my nan and granddad died this year and it was rubbish. And my uncle Tim died as well. Right year? Yeah, because my auntie Sandra has had a right old time of it. So my uncle Tim, I think, was six. maybe 65. He died, I think about six weeks ago now. And her dog died this week. And she's just one of those where, like, and she's kind of on her own. Wanting after another, yeah. But you know that really not me for six. So I was kind of thinking, oh, should we buy her a dog? You know, but I don't think she kind of wants once, because she just, she's just doing anything to keep herself busy at a minute.

Yeah. And like having a dog, as much fun as it is, means that. you can't necessarily go to a... Well the thing is it is a big responsibility as well I know I'm discovering now so it's you know hey everyone that knows you describes you is incredibly generous. Oh really? Yeah okay and who's this? Well I've heard tales of suits made-to-measure suits being bought. Well it's because Steve Haworth is something about our friend Steve Hall he looks good he looks good in the suit but I've heard tales of motorbikes

oh yeah, yeah yeah that's for my agent but that's really generous. Yeah, but it was his birthday and he's kind of done so much for me. And it looked, again, I sort of really get off on seeing, like, I had this, I got like a wanky sports car. Have you? No, no. So I got it a few years ago. You bought it?

It was hungover and I went to Leicester and I bought this car. What was it? You're like to say? Yeah, it was like a BMW Z-4. So it's kind of, you know, for me it was kind of like this top-end cool car. I got it. I was driving around it. It's fine. It's quite good fun. And then my mate Craig's dad was like, oh, I really loved that car. So I sold it to him for nine grand because I just didn't need it and it made me feel silly. But I remember seeing him in it in Leamington and honestly,

it looked amazing just to see this old guy in this kind of wanky, yeah, in this wanky sports car. Oh, okay. It just looked brilliant. Does that give you pleasure then? I mean that's why people do it, isn't it? Yeah, I properly love, like Christmas, I kind of, it's really weird, like with cars. Like I bought my mum a car for Christmas and I bought my sister a car a previous one and I got my brother one and I got Kerris one. Not all in the same year, staggered it.

So how many cars have you bought them all the car? Yeah, so, but that's one I got, I got Kerris's car. And because I don't drive, I had to drive to Bristol to give a... That's really interesting that you keep buying people cars and you don't drive. Yeah. It's just completely self-interested.

Yeah, exactly. Because you basically want lift everywhere you go. Well, and that's it. And if you bought it, they're not going to turn you down. See, look at this. Look at this little boy here. Look at this touch. Wow.

Beautiful little touch. So... There's a little iguerro in the making. He's just got a lovely... Look at this. Wow. You don't want to live in a world where someone who doesn't try that. So, yeah, I bought Carries to this cool car.

for Christmas and I thought I'll drive it to her parents house and I drove it and I got as far as Chiswick and I crashed it so I tried to ring her up and say I've got your car for Christmas but I have crashed it so it's going to a garage now and they'll have all the details so we'll get it sorted in January is that alright so yeah but everyone likes getting stuff like I think also it's like yeah but some people don't like buying it you know there are rich people I mean you're doing all right now. Yeah. But there are rich people as we know that don't... Yeah, but I love like, like, I took my family from my dad's 60th. We all went to Australia. It's brilliant. So, and I kind of paid for that. And it was just... It was just great. Yeah, but... Yeah, well, just sort of... Making a few quid, you know.

And seeing your mum on like a business class flight, it's just the best. There's something really cool. My mum's very good at that because we all get, you get very used to how lucky you are. You know, I stay in loads of hotel rooms. And if you put my mum in a hotel room, she reacts as everyone does in a hotel room, which is to lose her shit. And just be like, oh my God, look at all, we've got three biscuits. We've got all the kettles. Look at it. There's a trouser press.

And she's really, she really reminds you of how you should be. So I kind of like seeing them. That is a good reminder, actually, isn't it? Well, because the amount of times you're in a hotel room, you're like, another place and you sort of forget, it's really excited. Have you ever had therapy, Russell? I have, yes. And what did you think of it? Oh, this is a cute dog.

Nice touch. It was all right with it? Come on, mate. Yeah, I sort of did briefly. Yeah, how did you find it? I struggled with it because... If you what? Well, because the first question that was asked to me,

it's the illness of always having an audience. Right. So she said... I like that expression. Yeah, so she goes, she says, how do you think people in Guantanamo? It's the first question. She goes, how do you think people in Guantanamo Bayfield? And I said, I went, orange is not my colour.

That was my first reaction. And I kind of looked to her and sort of smiled. And she kind of went, why do you do that? And I said, I don't know. And she went, you shouldn't have to joke in here. And I instantly went, well, this is a fucking waste of time. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, it was that weird thing of, and then we sort of bickered for an hour.

And then I saw another guy, and that was pretty useful. But, yeah, I kind of figured out my own way of, I just, I have to slow stuff down. Really? Yeah, because I kind of, well, I just, like, doing what I do is that thing of, you're always going against yourself. And, you know, if you're doing a show in front of 15,000 people, it needs to be amazing. So you practice it loads, and you go to comedy clubs, and you just, practice and you write and you throw stuff out and you try new stuff and you keep on doing it until it's perfect and then you do it and it goes well and you're like

On to the next thing and it's that weird thing of trying to get out of that loop so that you can actually enjoy it and I had a few moments Doing the tour this year where I was really I sort of tried to remind myself to be to be in the moment Yeah, and I specifically was at Manchester Arena and my dad was there and and I was, there's 18,000 people and I was just showing off from my dad. It was great. So those kind of moments are so brilliant. And the problem is, the reason why I had to have,

is because it's very hard to do normal life if you've suddenly been like this thing in front of 18,000 people. It was really difficult to kind of then sit and watch telly. In terms of your mind racing or just being... Just the wonder of it. Like this 18,000. people and you're the orchestra you are the music you're the the light it's incredible and it's and you're making them laugh and it's that you're a

version of yourself that you that you never thought you could be and and yet you're the same person that remembers being eight years old in the back of the car it's all that and it's just an amazing privilege and fun and great and then suddenly you're not doing it and it doesn't really mean anything it's gone you know and it's that weird as well of You know, when, if you look at something like the mask, as in the Jim Carrey's film, yes, interesting. Do you see it as that, as something you put on and then you put that mask away when you're at home with Carrey's with Archie and, you know,

or do you not distinguish between those two personas? Oh no, I'm pretty similar at home. Yeah. And, yeah. But it's just, it's just concentrated. and not diluted and you know exactly where you're going. Do you think sometimes, I think the more, yeah, you're remarkably similar to how you are on stage, really.

And I sometimes think what that comes down to, Frank Skinner always talks about this being authentic. Really, that's sort of the best way to stop yourself going mad, really. Yeah. It's once those two, you know, we all know people who, the public see one version of them, and we know the reality is very different. Yeah.

Perhaps that's when it gets, problematic maybe. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. With this show, it's quite a long series they've given you for Sky, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, 12 more weeks. It's a lot of work, isn't it?

Yeah. But it's a show you love doing. Yeah, I love doing it. And I think the cool thing is, they basically said you can do whatever you want. And I think originally they wanted it to be like a chat show, just a standard chat show. Yeah. But I'm not really interested in doing that. Really?

Yeah. It's not really good, it's not my skill. Like, we're interviewing a guy in a couple of weeks who basically infiltrated the Ku Klux Klan. And he turned 200 members. And I'd far rather meet him than have a conversation with, like an actor or an actress. Not to say I don't like watching that.

I just don't have that skill. I understand. Do you know what I mean? To be frothy. Does the prospect of acting interest, Nah, well, because I did... Because you did your own... You had a sitcom that you wrote, didn't you?

And your sister was in it? My sister was in it. And it was a real... It was a real eye-opener just to how talented my sister was. Yeah. And how... I'm not... I'm too fidgety

to be a good actor. I think to be a really good actor, you've got to be very still. Have you got ADHD? Yeah. Have you been diagnosed? No, but I just... Lee Max got it.

Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. But Lee's insane. Like, Lee, you know, Lee's got a tool manager and he like but Lee drives the car mad I know I remember me Lee um Danny boy and Andy Parsons went fishing in New Zealand yeah we're just like we're traveling out and and we basically said to the hotel where we're staying was if we get some fish can can you guys cook it for later is that all right and they were like yeah if you want though so we went out there

and we're trying to catch fish and Lee went Lee went how many fish do you reckon are in the sea Like that and this bloke was like I don't know mate I'd never really thought about it but how many? Should we go down there yeah this guy was like and he's like to the thousand how many this bloke was just he gave me this amazing look but we we caught nothing was brutal do you hang out a lot with other comics uh I hang out with uh yeah Steve Hall is a really good friend of mine yeah Al Pippie picture, they're really like Steve Williams. Yeah.

Like they're my kind of closest comic pals. Yeah. But yeah, but I used to live in a flat. John Robbins, I used to live in a flat with John Richardson. Yes. But you don't strike me as a sort of red carpet person. No. For start, Russell Howard.

I've never seen you in a suit. No. Because it just doesn't, like, it doesn't work. I don't really. I think you look good in a suit, no? Yeah, but I have to fight that. Otherwise, I've got, there's a real air of, I sort of hover between the state age and a boy band. Like, do you know what I mean?

Like, it's kind of that horrible. You need to change your Twitter bio. Yeah. Do you consciously think, because you look young and you're quite boyish? Yes. I don't think I'm the first person to have said that. No, well, that's it. Well, that's it.

Like, in every review, it's really weird. Like, because I was going to the gym a lot, which again was another way. Yeah, you're ripped, aren't you? Not anymore. Really? No, because I just lost it. I was just getting fed up in every fucking review. They were just kind of...

What were they saying? Just about like, you know, he gets quite animated, but that might be because he's been going down the gym, you know, and it's that thing where you kind of... It was annoying me, so I've also gone vegan. So I watched this terrible film about meat, so I've lost quite a lot of weight. That's interesting, though.

Did you find that as a man? Because obviously, as a woman, that would be reductive, wouldn't it? It's like, oh, you know, if Catherine Ryan looks great, but you can't just talk about how she looks for 20, you know, pages. But I often thought that as well, with the um because we're actually trying to do a bit about it for we're doing a bit about cosmetic surgery for the show yeah trying to get some some angles and i was talking about there's a the

the heat magazine's weird crush of the year which is like a which i did win and i was and i've i've been in it every every year but it is that weird thing that you kind of go it's funny and i don't give a shit but if there was um a list like that for women there'd be fucking uproar but it's basically you know it's you know in some respects we've moved on it's the insinuation that they're only laughing because you've been down the gym it's just bollocks and it just kind of annoys me it's the same as sort of saying oh the only reason people laugh at um i don't know sarah pascoe she's got lovely hair do you know what i mean it's just bollocks but that's interesting i wonder because i was chatting to george lamb and he was saying and i was referring to him i

I was wondering if he found it kind of productive, because people always talk about him as being good-looking. He said, no, I love it. I'm a handsome man. Yes. But he is a handsome man, though, isn't it? But do you think you're handsome man? No.

I'm a good-looking comedian, and there's a massive difference to that. Yeah, like, all my mates are good-looking, but I... Yeah. But I've never pulled anyone in a disco or a nightclub. Like, I have to get them out of music, so I can talk them into it. I don't believe that. Oh no, Christ, it's the absolute truth.

Really? Yeah, yeah. Like the Miranda in Sex and the City? Yeah. I remember we went to Magaloof and I met this, when we were like, I was like 18 with my mates, and they were all kind of like banging. And then I sort of met this kind of, this girl and we went down the beach and we were just having a chat. That was the only way.

Yeah. I remember my friend Geraint said it brilliantly. Like if you have a conversation with someone, you know, the world's, you know, the world's, the world changes a bit and you kind of get a bit further and you're sharing something there sharing something when you're dancing you're just wagling each other like bees and I really like that yeah but it's kind of it's like it's like it's like it's very primitive is it yeah but it's also the other it's like this obsession with Strictly that happens to us every year and I always get offered it would you come dancing do you do it no I can't dance and I just I dance like a newborn pony yeah and also I just the idea that And you're in a nice relationship.

So I think the affair would be a bit annoying to Territ. But music's so beautiful and there's nothing better in the world. It's liquid emotion and it flows through you and it makes you wiggle and move and it's correct. However you dance the music is right. So the idea that somebody goes, oh that's not correct. It's bollocks. Like when my mum is drunk and she's dancing, like the idea that you come up to you and go, seven? Like it's just, it's bollocks.

I just don't, I find it very strange to sort of say, that's correct that the rules say that is how one should dance to this music well we don't you think we've got an obsession currently with judging and panels and you know and pitting each other that's the thing like I've really frustrated with this

that it's come over I knew it would but it's come over to England like comedy roasts so where you get two comics in the room and they kind of just go at each other and it's just I hate it I hate it so much do you? Would you ever do one of those roast? No because it's not Because if you've been bullied, it just reminds you of that the same experience at school.

And it's like the world is divided enough without getting two brilliant people together. And rather than making them create something, get them to tear strips of each other. And it always comes down to their fat or their ethnicity or something like that. And it's all like those, ooh, that laugh. And it's just, I just hate it. I kind of, I'm the kind of guy. if someone runs to catch the tube and if they get in, I fucking love it. And if they missed it, I wouldn't be happy.

That's a really brilliant thing, isn't it? That the world is maybe divided into people who feel a sense of glee when the person doesn't get the tube, which I worry I might be one of them. Do you? Well, I don't know, Russell. I worry, and I've got to be honest about this. I worry there's a part of me that feels I've got onto the lifeboat. Right.

You know, and that's a really unattractive characteristic. No, it's not. I'm not proud of it. But I feel, see your suckers, you know. Yeah, but I like, it's, see, I like people like you because I like people that are able to analyse that and then make that interesting. And then, because you're not, because you're clearly not, not proud of that. No, I'm really ashamed of it. But exactly.

And I think, but that's where so much kind of comedy or interest comes from. It's that thing of, here's the thing. Like, I'm, I really love that. Now, I do this, but I'll be honest with you, I think this. You know, I kind of, I like those sort of little dark avenues. But then isn't that? Maybe that's where sort of comedy lies is people's darkness sometimes. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? It's just what makes you happy, but it's like being true. Like one of my favourite things of the world, I really like, just reminded me seeing those two old girls there. I really like seeing a really old wrinkly woman in a sports car. How dare you? I love it. I don't know why.

Really? Why? Because, because, in my primitive way, I think she's fucking earned that. Like, nobody's given that to her because she's a dolly girl. Do you know what I mean? Like, she must be absolutely sensational, you know. I think that is the best thing I've ever heard. You're so right.

Because, okay. When you see a young, beautiful woman in a really hot car, you think, well, yeah. I mean, she's, you know. But it's horrible because she may own the car, it may be hers. I make the assumption that in some way your beauty has bought that car. Exactly. But no, you know what I think? I said to someone recent, it might have been Frank on the show,

and he said something, and they were talking, and that is to do with getting older. I'm in my 40s now. And he said something, yeah. And I said, he said something about being attractive. And I said, but that's not my currency anymore. It really isn't. It's like, to me, he may as well be talking about Drachma.

I don't deal in that anymore. Do you know what I mean? It's all changed. I'm in euros now. I can do what I want. And then it's very liberating. So going back to what you were saying about the look. thing that I think it'll be really nice for you. I think the older you get in a weird

way the happier you'll feel because you'll think right I can leave all that stupid crap about me working out behind and do you know what I mean that obsession with you but what was frustrating about it is the reason I used to go well I still go to the gym I just do different stuff but the reason I go is because I used to get like properly anxious and and kind of down and you sort of one of the best things to do is to go to the gym it's just the best in terms of getting your serotonin up and equalling you out and then it was that frustrating thing that when it started creeping into reviews you're like

that's my thing that makes me happy you're bastards like do I mean so I had to figure out another way and but the dog walking is good as well weirdly do you do you do you find that quite I think that's a sort of good mental health space as well yeah lovely yeah just exactly it's just great well having a dog full stop is like it's a real avenue of silliness that's what I love like the amount of I don't know if you've got like in jokes and stuff like that. Oh totally. But it's the amount of stuff we've got with the dogs is just crazy.

So we've got this whole thing about Arch. What's Archie's voice? Archie's is that. So it's that kind of quite curt. So and it's he refers to me as sir. And he's and we have this whole ongoing and this is not funny to anyone other than me and my girlfriend. This ongoing thing that he he goes on this morning and he's always like,

pip, Pip, Pip. Pip, like that. And they have, basically, Arch goes on barging holidays with Phillips Gopher and Stormsey. And he hates Ryland. I just, I cannot stand the man. Why?

And obviously this isn't me saying this. I'm not interested, but it's the most fun. We had this, we had this ongoing thing that Arch had a radio station with my, with Kerris's brother's dog, Monty, Mutt FM and they

it was, so they would Which is a great idea, I'm a listen to that And it was them just chatting about the news and they were putting they put a lot of money into this and it was just like going next year it's going to be absolutely massive I think we're really going to break through and get our first listener

so it was the idea that they had no listeners but they've been doing it for two years and they came up with this ingenious idea that they did two podcasts every week week and the reason they did that is because they both spoke at the same time for the entire three hours so it's just stupid but it just how world you created for them but that's a real that's a that's kind of what i'm like at home really it's just silly silly things we've arrived at home i'm

going to come in it's been so nice though i mean we're going to talk now but we should say for the benefit of the podcast thank you pleasure it's been so nice i really enjoyed it yeah it's good fun and archie it's been so nice to chat to you as well you've been good arch really hope you enjoyed the podcast, today's doggy thought is that if the Wizard of Oz taught us anything, it's that all you really need in life is a decent pair of shoes and a faithful dog. Oh, and three frankly terrifying looking friends. Okay, I'm out of here. Before I go, remember your three R's. Rate, review, and subscribe.