Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Suzi Ruffell (Part Two)

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

Join Emily and Raymond for the second half our walk with the brilliant comedian (and one of our favourite people on the planet) Suzi Ruffell!We chatted to Suzi about how anxiety goes hand in hand with stand up comedy, her brilliant mum and dad and learning to love the Pet Shop Boys. Suzi’s new book Am I Having Fun Now is a candid, funny and moving memoir. Suzi covers everything from masking anxiety with musical theatre, developing an obsession with Titanic, and struggling to find her groove at school, on stage, and in her love life, to (eventually) coming out, falling in love, and becoming a parent, Suzi lays her life bare with signature wit and style. You can order your copy here!Follow @suziruffellcomedy on Instagram Suzi is on tour from June 2025 across the UK - you can find dates and purchase tickets at https://suziruffell.com/ If you'd like to hear more from Suzi you can listen to her first appearance on Walking The Dog from March 2020 and her second appearance from January 2024.Follow Emily: Instagram - @emilyrebeccadeanX - @divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Faye LawrenceMusic: Rich Jarman Artwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Part 2 of Walking the Dog with comedian Susie Ruffle. Do go back and listen to Part 1 if you haven't already. And do, by the way, read Susie's brilliant new book, Am I Having Fun Now? Anxiety, Aplause and Life's Big Questions answered because it's a thing of total joy and I highly recommend it. And do give us a like and a follow so you can catch us every week. Here's Susie and Ray Ray. Look that lady's coming out of the sea now that we spoke to before.

How long has she been in there? She's been for a little swim, hasn't she? Yeah. She did well, 20 minutes maybe. Yeah, I'd say 20 at least. Good for her. She's made as hard as stuff, isn't she? I bet she's feeling absolutely brilliant. Oh, she's got two swimming hats on. See, she needs to stay as warm as she can. Do you think I'm interested, you know, with this anxiety which you talk about, and obviously it was a kind of thing throughout your life and then... And it still is, you know. And it still is, isn't it? And I wonder a lot of people, you know, you chose to be a stand-up. And why? Why that hell?

A lot of people will be asking. No, a lot of people would look at that and think, oh my God, but that's such an anxiety-inducing the environment. But I can sort of see that that is oddly a coping mechanism for you as well. Stand-up's very controlled. Yeah. So do you... You know, the gigs can be hard and people can not go for you.

And that's hard enough. Also, like, you know, when you start stand-up, the gigs you do at the beginning of your career, some are the harder to cover doing. Yeah. The rooms aren't right and the mic might not. work and there's not enough audience and also the audience thinking this might be shit because they've gone to a new comedian's night and often it is but the I think it's I think it's probably

linked to the adrenaline dump you get as well interesting because I you get a math and I during the like when I first started to stand up those adrenaline highs would last for days you know they would be really they would really last now it only you know I'll get exhausted from sort of having like a big dose of adrenaline like the next day very occasionally now only if I've done something that's like quite high pressure right but the rest of the time the ups the ups and downs are you know a good gig feels good and a bad gig feels hard but I'll sort of be me again by the next day whereas I think when you first start that

that adrenaline is really addictive. Yes, it must feel like, even if you've done downstairs at King's Head, it must feel like you've played, at Wembley Stadium or something. Well, yeah, because when you start, yeah, you've got to sleep. You can't sleep. Yeah, you know, 30 people that have got to make laugh. You know, it's not, but, you know, it's just something you get used to. Is Ray, you're just sort of, oh, you is having a drink.

You're having a little drink, darling? Yes. How does it feel physically when, you have a bad gig. How, I'm wondering, does it, like, the first time that happened to you, for example, is it quite a visceral feeling? Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible.

It feels like, if you feel really embarrassed, which is terrible, then if the audience are sort of pity you, that's worse than them hating you. You feel sort of cold. you feel sick it's horrible and it lasts for ages you're sort of in the car home you have sort of these waves of shame

you know a wave of shame like if you said to someone congratulations and they go I'm not pregnant oh great I'll unpack that for six years that would be my well you mention a few there's one mortifying one on the bus I don't even remember you of it It's absolutely terrible there were two elderly

East Asian ladies that got on the bus and I was sitting sort of in the middle of the back bit of the bus and they came on together and I said oh I'll move, would you like to sit together and the lady said we don't know each other and I just sort of made an assumption because they'd got on the bus together

but it just sort of looked terrible of course yeah but you're so not like that I was just trying to do a nice thing it came from trying to do a nice thing yeah but it was absolutely dreadful yeah it was terrible hated me don't you think those you're quite a people pleaser, aren't you?

Oh, God, in a big way. I did something recently where I wanted to please everyone. Sure. And as a result, you please no one? I might tell you afterwards what happened. Oh, okay.

But it was one of those things where something happened where someone ended up being angry with me because I'd gone out of my way to please everyone. Do you ever get that? Yeah. And you end up sort of not really pleasing anyone. It's really tricky. And then I burst into tears of up to frustration

because I'm like, but I only did. this this only happened because I was trying to please you all yeah but then I think the thing is as well is that what I might do in that scenario is I would make an assumption that that's what people wanted but not actually ask anyone and so I'd sort of go well I assumed everyone would like that and sometimes Alice would go well I think it would just been easy I think everyone was quite oh no no go to with someone who's oh I hope so you should just on around walking towards

the sea so I just wanted to oh yeah who comes the mum oh yeah so cute yeah There they go. How lovely I was thinking of your little girl. Growing up near the sea must be really special actually. Well, I grew up in Portsmouth, so I think that... And my wife Alice grew up in Devon on the coast. And so I think that we were always, without realising it, we would always be sort of called back to the sea.

Yeah. It's great, isn't it? So you're a proper Londoner, aren't you? You're North London through and through. Well, I am. But then... Do you support Arsenal? You can't support Arsenal.

They're so cute about Spurs. They won their funny little thing last night. The funny little thing. Adorable. It's so adorable. How rude. We used to get excited about it. It's adorable.

But you, I'm interested in how, just that comedy thing and you're talking about that visceral feeling. So a lot of people I would think would stand up. When you decided to go into stand up, and initially, it wasn't always the plan, was it? Well, no, I wanted to be an actor. but I couldn't get any work. And that was mainly because

why? Why? I don't know. Might be talent. I can't be sure. I got into drama school. But you clearly are talented. Well, yeah, I don't know. I think that I graduated into the recession and then there wasn't... No one was really taking on new acts. Although I'm sure they were taking on some new acts, but I wasn't lucky. I don't think my face fit.

I also think I'm probably more like a character actress than at 21 when I graduated. I wasn't a romantic lead. People didn't really know where to put me. Right. There wasn't an obvious place for me as an actress. But here's a thought. Do you think you were as driven about acting as you are about comedy? I think that with comedy there was a clearer path.

And you could make it happen more. Yeah. Yeah. Because as an actor, you are just, like I've got friends that are fantastic actors that have done amazing work. And then they'll have years where they don't work. They're just looking at their phone. It's heartbreaking. And they're brilliant, brilliant actors.

But they don't work because it's all on someone else. to decide for you to work, whereas as a stand-up, you know, someone else decides whether you get the tele jobs, but the stand-up you can put on a tour, you can just do it, you can just create. That's why podcasting is so brilliant, isn't it? If you had waited for a TV company to pick up this idea, you know, but this means that you get to create something and share something and share Ray. and it means that, you know, that that exists in the world and you can do it without there being a gatekeeper. Yeah, I suppose stand-up is a bit more like that, isn't it? Well, yeah, because you can just, if you work really hard, and obviously you've got to have some talent, you know, but there were people that I started with that had loads of natural ability, but they didn't like how hard it was.

As stand-ups? Yeah. And when you say how hard it was, what specifically... would you say? You've got to like go back. The resilience? Yeah, like the resilience, having bad gigs, writing new material, travelling.

Oh my gosh, the travel. You travel so much. Even now, like last night, I drove to and from Bristol. Oh, but I like that. And I did an hour and a half on stage, and then I got back in the car and drove back. I got in at one. But I know where you've got that work ethic.

My dad, yeah. But then I love it. It was great. I had a great gig. It was totally worth going to Bristol. because I'm doing a work in progress. Tour starts in a couple of weeks. It really feels like it's cooking on gas.

I needed to get the show a couple of times more just to make sure that all those transitional bits are working, make sure I know it. And it was totally worth it, but it was six and a half hours to stand on stage for a bit. But I haven't got a tour show until March or April in Bristol, so that makes sense for me to do a show there

and people were up for it. It sold out nice and quick, and say people are aware, you know, a great audience. But that's hard. That's, you know, and the relentlessness of that. And the, yeah, the travel and the... But it also keeps your mind active, and I wonder if you found something

that's actually probably quite healthy for you. Yeah, I think so. Because you're driving, you're having to focus on that. And you're just... And on stage, it's one of the... I remember when I was going through a tough time with bereavement, And someone had recommended horse riding because they said with riding

your dad knows about horses but it's one of those things because it is effectively it is an extreme sport it's quite dangerous and you have to be focused on what you're doing it's not like playing a video game or it's not like mindlessly playing Candy Crush

whilst watching a Netflix thing you have to be focused on that or you could fall off and die and that's what I realised I liked I thought, oh, for this hour and a half, I'm literally just thinking about this horse. So you've got a break from the bereavement? Yeah, and I wonder if stand up... Yeah, and do you know what I've found?

Gives you a break from your kind of monkey mind, you know? I've found that if I'm not writing enough material and it becomes autopilot... Right. That's when I'll have anxious thoughts on stage. Ah. So I've got to stay creative, try and write new stuff, stay in the moment, listen for what's happening in the room, be live. Which I know sounds ridiculous, but there are...

times as a comedian that you can just sort of put it on autopilot and it becomes almost like a play. And you've done the show 35 times, it's just a one more, you know, it's just a play with funny bits. And so I try and keep it live by chatting to audience members trying to bring them in, keeping it. Doing enough crowd work. Yeah. So it feels like it's happening in that space for the first time, which it is, but so that it feels fresh. Because you've said it so many times, but they've never heard it before so you need to sell it in the same way and you're still taking part in that conceit when you're a certain not you're you're all sort of colluding in this this slight perception in a way that oh I've just had these thoughts yeah exactly and we all know

you've been you know yeah honing the material but that's why the that's why there's all sorts going on there oh well that's this pool what's the pool I've only just noticed the pool that's a little lido the sea lane isn't that lovely so you can swim and you can see the beach same time. It's lovely, isn't it? Oh my God, this is so nice. Yeah, I went for a swim I'm not going to lie, I just saw quite handsome man. Okay. And I did get distracted. Do you need to go and ask if he's available? No. Soos, but you can look at him. I mean, it won't interest you. No. But the thing that puts me off the swimming, go on. I don't like that sort of regimented swimming. I just like getting in and flailing loud. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. I don't like that. That looks a bit. professional. I'd just like to sit in one end with a cocktail with my hair and a turban. I don't, I want to pull where I can do that. They sort of have that at Soho House up there. Okay, maybe we'll go there. So that resilience that you obviously have to be a stand-up, you've talked a lot to me about your mum and dad. And I can't end this podcast without mentioning your mum and dad,

because they are such vivid characters to me. Your dad, one of my favourite facts about your dad, is that he turned up to your school in a horse and cart. Yeah. My second favourite fact about your dad is when he met your agent Flo for the first time. And he had a tooth missing. Yeah. And he said to her, sorry about the two, flow, horse kicked it out.

Yeah. And this is a sort of like comedy, very sort of artsy. Yeah, well, it was back, or in the, in the bar area of the Brighton Dome. It was the first time I've been invited to do like a big, I looked after by Off the Curb and Off the Curb I put on a big charity gig. Yeah. And Michael McIntyre was headlining and I was there.

Alan Cole was there I think. Alan Carl was there, yeah. And it was a big deal for me. Not for them, but for me it was massive. And I had a really good set. And my dad cried while I was on stage. He had tears in his eyes because he was so proud of me, which is lovely. And are your parents still together, Suze?

Yeah. I don't, I think they would always be together, wouldn't you? they? Do you think even if they had problems, they were just like in this for the long haul? Yeah, yeah. Like any couple, they've had their ups and downs. There's no doubt about it. But yeah, I mean, they got together when mum was 17 and dad was 18. They've never known life without each other. I love the sound of your mum. Yeah, she's great. If someone had to play your mum in the biopic of your life and your dad, who are we going to cast? Alison Stedman and maybe Paul Whitehouse.

Not that I've thought about this. Maybe. I'm loving that. And who's going to play you? Margot Robbie, because we look so similar. I'm loving Margot Robbie. Margot Robbie is me. No, I don't know who will play me.

No, I tell you, there's someone. Like a sort of gamine, French vibe you've got, haven't you? Wouldn't you say? Timothy Chamelo. Maybe him. He's very good. I don't understand Timothy Shalame. I don't know if he's for us.

He's not for me, Sus. Well, I think that he's... Is he with the young ones? I don't know. I just... I mean, it's not for you. But what I mean is it's not about a sexual attraction thing. It's just him as a concept, really.

I don't get the fuss, really. No, neither do I. But listen, good luck to him. Oh, listen. I like what he represents. I like the fact that he's... Married to a Kardashian. He's not married to her.

No, that put me off him a bit. Because I sort of thought, oh, come on. I thought you were meant to be on the literary art house, slapjacks and coffee at the cinema. Don't go multiplex on us. You want him to be sort of dating... I'll tell you exactly. A novelist.

I want him to be dating more of a Kerry Mulligan. Sure. Do you understand what I mean by that? Or an artist that none of us have heard of. Oh, that would be ideal. She does something very interesting with shape. It's shay. Oh, look.

Do you know what? I've seen a lot of elderly people here. They're offences. Yeah, I was going to say. What a shake. And they seem, this is a massive generalisation. And maybe, I know it's a beautiful summer's day, we're sitting on the beach. Brighton could not be at its, I mean, it really is at its best.

It's showing off for you. It's floating. It really is. But they just seems something, they seem very content. The old people here. They're all on drugs. Is that what it is? Do you think? Maybe it's...

A hendie that's got out of... I think there's something about the sea. No, I think you're right. Do you? I think you're right. And I think it's quite jolly. Jolier than London. Certainly.

People are more up for a chit-chat. Well, I actually think different places in London, but certainly when I was living in flats in London, it always felt very transient. Maybe if you've got a house and you live in... Because you lived in Hoxton for a while. I lived in Hoxton. Oh, I've lived everywhere.

Not everywhere. But I've lived north-south-east. I've lived for west for about three weeks as well. Oh, I don't see that for you. No, I'm not West London. I'm not Australian. No. Well, it's not right for us.

It's not right. I could never do that. You could never go west? No, I've never... Do you like Pet Shop Boys? What are you suggesting? Well, they go west, don't they? Do you know what?

On that subject of Pet Shop Boys... Finally, now we're getting into it. I never liked Pet Shop Boys. boys and it's only recently that I get it I think oh thank god I thought I was going to have to leave the podcast well bear in mind I was there because bear in mind I'm not gay bear in mind I sort of get it now I get like the sort of dark the darkness of their songs is what I love now yeah whereas I think back then I was frightened of darkness I wanted I wanted simplicity yeah I wanted the simplicity of it only takes them in

it girl now I crave the darkness of it to sin yeah love it you know Daniel Craig Mark two coming up you're talking this book Suze about well I found this interesting when you're chatting about that breakup and how broken it made you feel like you were kind of I'm never going to get over this yeah and it's one of the most visceral descriptions of a breakup. It really is. But it really made me think, oh, God, yes, I know that feeling. Yeah. I think everyone reading it will feel that. I hope so. Well, not that I hope they felt that that pain, but I hope that I encapsulates it. It's a completely relatable, universally relatable thing, but it's also kind of physical thing as well.

Yeah. Well, that's how it feels, isn't it? It feels like being punched. But after this, what's so great about your story is that you then go on to to meet your partner, Alice. Yeah, she's great. You were set up. Yeah. And one detail I really enjoyed was you talk about meeting Alice and you're a comedian's, a friend's house, another comic. We're at a friend.

We're allowed to say who it is now? Yeah, my friend Camille's wedding. No, I'm talking about an incident after that. Oh, yeah. You're at a friend's house. We don't have to name who it was. Oh, was at Josh's house? I'm assuming it was, Josh.

Because whenever you say a friend, a male friend, a friend is lovely, or says, I go, that'll be jock. That would be Josh. We're such Widdickham fans here. But yeah, you're at Josh's house, you're a friend's house, and you're all joking, as comics do. Comics kind of roast each other a bit. Yeah, we're mean to each other. It's sort of what we do. And then you sort of slightly took the piss out of Alice, who you hadn't been with that long.

No. And she did something that so impressed me. Yeah. Do you know, it's funny, you're like the third person that's mentioned that specific bit. Not on a podcast or anything, but like friends that read it. So you leave Josh's or ever? So yeah, so I'd sort of taking the piss out of Alice a bit. Was it just a sort of joke?

Yeah, oh God, yeah. It was totally a joke. It wasn't, you know, it wasn't that. You know, it wasn't awful. It was just a bit mean in that sort of slightly catty way. And in my head, I guess I thought I was bringing her in. But in fact, what I managed to do was make her feel quite excluded. And on the, we left, and I guess it was like two in the morning.

And I lived in Hoxton, so I was quite near where. where Josh lived and we were walking back to mine and Alice said to me she said I'm not crossed with you or anything but um don't do that don't take the piss out of me in front of people that's not the kind of relationship I want to be in where we put each other down and we're and we're mean to each other that's not I don't want to be in that kind of relationship that's fine for you and your friends but let's not do that let's not start that because that's mean and I don't want to be in a relationship that's mean And I was like, oh, you're brilliant.

You're so great. I love that you've told me that. I love, you're absolutely right. Yeah. We should all, we should be much kinder. And now, do you know what? We notice it so much when we're with friends that do sort of slightly put their partners down all the time. And I'm really pleased that we don't do it.

And don't, like, you know, that's not me judging it if you do that. because maybe you guys aren't sensitive in the same way or you have an understanding that, you know, and Alice and I just don't quite work that way, but it's confirmed that it's right for us to be sort of, to treat each other, you know, with that extra kindness. And do you think, without realising it perhaps as well,

I often think this is something stand-up sometimes I have to be a little bit mindful of. I think I always compare it to the, you know, the heavyweight boxer, when there's a fight breaking out in a pub, has to remember he cannot get involved because if he gets involved, he'll flaw someone. Yeah.

And I sort of think it's the same thing that if there's a family Christmas and an aunt says something borderline offensive or a bit annoying. Yeah, you can't devastate someone. No, you have to be mindful that you... That she's not as funny as me. Well, just that you do this for a living

and you could absolutely destroy. Well, that's why I'm always sort of, heckling doesn't happen nearly as much as people think it does, but I'm always sort of fascinated by people who go, I'm going to be funnier than you. You think, I mean, you'd have to be, like, in my entire time of being a comedian, 15 years, I don't know, I've ever seen a heckler win.

No. Because we're at work. That's our job. Showing you know, that's our job. If we can't put down the guy that thinks he's funny from the office, We should stop. Yeah. I've found a stone for you.

It's got a hole the whole way through there, lucky. Oh, it looks like a little pig's nut nose. Oh, here it does. Is it lucky? Apparently, this whole... Oh, Suez, I really like this. Are we wondering back up here now? Well, yeah, shall we?

Yeah, why not? I'll give you this. I never got an ice cream, Sus. I'm sorry about that. One other thing in your book, which... Yeah. I know I shouldn't be shocked by this, but I still am. Okay.

Which was, when you're talking about your comedy career and how, when you started to do those panel shows. Yeah. There was one panel show. I mean, obviously, I immediately guessed which one it was. Where they would refer to the chair that the women sat in as, what did they call it? The period chair? Yeah, it was the chair furthest out. Also, that's not a great place for a new comic to sit because you're furthest away from the action.

Right, well it's funny because I remember Jonathan Ross always told me that Like on the big fat quiz He always makes a point You know he was always like never sit the woman on the end Because it's not men, Sons don't often don't mean it But it's just tell they don't they don't they take you Because they're all facing the host Yeah

It's horrible that feeling as a woman getting crowded out Yeah Have you ever had that? I can't imagine you having it Oh God, yeah, totally yeah on those shows Yeah, on those shows. I didn't enjoy panel shows. I don't know. I mean, I think I'd be a lot better at them now

because I'm a lot more sort of confident. But then I was, oh, I was really frightened. Really? Yeah, I mean, I didn't do loads of them. I felt really, oh, God, I'm not doing okay, is this enough? And then every time you try and talk, a man would talk over you. Well, that's the other thing. Oh, my God, so loud, so loud.

I mean, there were times when I would say something and then it would no one have really realised what I've said and then a man

would repeat it louder you'd be like oh that I sort of just said a version of that gag and maybe

they thought of it in the moment as well who knows you know I'll be the last person to say that I'm the only

person that's come up with anything ever you know yeah people quite the same ideas all the time but

you know I just but I'm also really willing to think well I don't know that I was that

confident in my own ability then. I think if I was to do those shows now, I'd be much better because I'll be far more relaxed. You know, I was made to feel not by my agency at all, but sometimes by the productions people that I was really lucky to be there. And as soon as someone says, you know, you're lucky to be here, you go, oh God, well, don't ruin it. Oh no, now I've got all this pressure only to do this. And you've got to get a laugh in the first five minutes for us the audience lose faith in you. And, oh, geez, it's really hard. Everyone on the panel is better known than you so they get bigger laughs because people like it when so-and-so says a funny

thing because they already have a relationship with them. And also it's that thing of walking out and we know this now that as a woman particularly what's that sorry? My friend lives here so she might I don't know. I think it might be up there but do you mean to have a look for you?

Oh no it's okay. Oh I wonder if it's on the phone. Oh wait a second. It is on Madeira Drive. Oh is it? Wait a second. It was this Madeira Drive. We were on the Doer Drive. You're on the Doe Drive, aren't we? So it's a 13-minute walk. Ah, which way?

That way? In that direction. If you just keep going for 13 minutes, it's on this drag. Okay. Thank you so much. No problem. You're so helpful. But you have got some real allies, haven't you?

Yes. And Josh Whittaker. Yeah, Josh is a very, very different. I mean, I got on with, you know, I'm really, really lucky. so many of my friends are really brilliant stand-ups. And loads of them are the boys that I sort of came up with, like, as you say, Josh, James Acaster, Ivo, Nish. You know, all those guys have always been really good to me.

Brett Goldstein, you know, they've always been really kind to me. Special mention for Tom Allen, please. Well, of course. Tom Allen is. You're busy. Well, actually, you know what? It was very sweet the other day. Tom was in Australia. And I'm just going to pop this in the bin.

Tom was in Australia, and he organised tickets for my cousin to go and see him very kindly, like, you know, like Tom is. And my cousin went and saw him, and then afterwards, my cousin texted my mum and said, oh, we met Tommy so lovely. And my mum said, oh, well, you know, Tom's like family, really. And I told Tom, and it was like, yeah, it was really lovely that my mum feels like that about Tom as well, because he is, really, he is like family. He's family to me. One thing I really get the impression with you is that you know, I love how honest you are about how there's an aspect to your job, which is difficult because every time you don't get a job or miss out on something,

it's not like you'd have to, you know, most other people, if you avoid LinkedIn, you wouldn't see who'd got that job. Whereas you just have to open a Sunday supplement or look at a billboard and you'll think, Oh great, they got that job. Yeah, totally. And I love that you own that and you say, sometimes that's tough and that can sometimes bring out some difficult feelings, you know? Yeah, and I think, you know, it's, I think there were certainly periods earlier in my career

where I felt a bit more jealous or envious of people. Yeah. But you know what? Every time I've not got a job, in the fullness of time I'll sort of go, yeah I guess it made sense that that person got the job and they actually did a really good job you know and I think there's that saying isn't it they're like if it's not if it's for you it won't pass you right and I think that certainly with a job like mine but I think kind of I feel like maybe for everyone these days especially with like social media and everyone

oh that's kind of you thank you and you love those women do you know last time you're on this podcast honestly I'm starting to think you're setting this up. Last time we were on this podcast, a woman said, love you, Suz. Oh, that's nice. I didn't know that. But you know what you were saying at the beginning about how you really do have the, I think, the perfect level of recognizability. Because having one part, even one or two people, say to you every day, love you. That's fucking great. Yeah, it's very nice. It's very nice people say that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's very sweet. And what I love is that they feel so comfortable with you. Yeah, it's really nice. It's really nice. It was like an intimacy to it, wasn't that? Excuse me. I'm so sorry to

bother you. They said, love you soes. Yeah, it's very sweet. Very sweet. Um, oh, I love that. Yeah, I think that it is, you know, it's, uh, what was that? Oh yeah, even, you know, I think everyone these days with with social media, it feels like there's this sort of competitiveness of, have you got this thing, have you got this house? Have you got this thing? Have you got the partner? Have you got the baby? Have you got the car? Have you got the job? Have you got. And I think it, it's, have you got this thing. And I think it can make you really, really, oh hello. Oh look at that doggy, it's so cute. Has he got an owner that doggy?

Yeah, I think it's this guy down here. Do you know what's giving it away, the lead? Oh yeah, you're right, Sue. I always panic. Oh look, he's coming from. Oh, hi. What about this dog for you, Sue? So this looks like a Spaniel.

They need loads of exercise, don't they? Hello, Spagnon, you're so cute. Such a cute dog. Hello. He didn't want to talk to me. He didn't want to chat, but that's okay. He got smiled. What's that, Suez?

I don't really know. Okay. Some sort of thing. Thanks for help in this time. Sorry, that's one of those. Hope that helps. We're talking about that, yeah. But that's sort of the constant

comparing. What that says saying, isn't it? Comparison is a Thief of Joy. Absolutely. But also, I think that I think that we would all be lying if I just walked past a man with a hat that says Canada is not for sale

which I absolutely love. I'm obsessed with that hat and do you know why? I've got to be honest. So can we say when he was coming towards us it was red and it's using the same font as... Make America great again? Yes. And I, my heart sunk.

But then... Because I thought in Brighton, are you kidding me? And then as we got closer... Your heart sword. I saw Canada's not for sale and I thought he's my kind of old. night. You're kind of old guy. Go on. I think that it would be remiss of me

to write a book that, you know, where part of it is about being so brutally honest about shame and about my feelings, to sort of go, to not reference the fact that we all do feel a bit jealous sometimes. It's okay to want things that

somebody else has, but it's important, you know, there's lessons in how you frame that because what I have done when I have looked at someone's career or someone's things that they have, it's about not going, oh, I want what they have? It's like, right, what's my version of that? Yes. What's my version of that kind of success? What is it about that person's job or their life or their show or whatever the thing is that is giving me those feelings of like, oh, why isn't that mine? We go, well, that's okay. So what is it that you want? You want to feel successful in what you do? Okay, well, then that's about writing more.

or you want to have, you know, have a partner. And you go, okay, well, then that's about really putting yourself out there and trying to meet. So, oh, I wish I had the group of friends that they have. Okay, well, maybe that's about going and joining a group, even though, oh, God, I hate being the new gala stuff. But, you know, yeah, maybe I should go and meet new people and develop a friendship group like that.

So there are ways for us to sort of harness those feelings of jealousy, I think, where you go, okay, well, just walking past Dirk. car alarm. I mean, I'm sure people worked out what that was, but they're good to flag it. Okay, someone thinks we're being arrested. Just so people know. We're not being, oh look, there's a statue of someone here. Yeah. That's a runner. That's Steve. Oh, it's Steve Ovet.

The Olympian, yeah. Well, I'm old enough to remember watching him win the, what was he? Was he? 1500 meters or something? I couldn't tell you, but good for him. He must be from Brighton, I suppose. Oh, he must have been, yeah. It was Sebastian Coe and Steve O'Vette were the two rivals. When people really got passionate about athletics.

They don't really anymore. But you know what I would say about Steve O'Vett, Sue? God, please. I was hoping that you'd have something else to be honest. Well, I mean, what would you say strikes you about that sculpture? Well, I would say that they've really... What's your first thought looking at it?

Well, the willy, of course. There's just sort of a bulge in his trousers, but it looks like it slipped. Is that where they are? I think they're higher than that, aren't they? Why have they made his woolly so funny? His willy looks ever so funny. What a shame for someone that's...

What a shame? What a shame? I can't look at that anymore. It's giving me the ick. It's really not what I would have hoped they would do for him. For Steve Overt? Yeah, it's sort of, is that a penis in motion? I loved that album.

I don't, I don't often see them in motion. In fact, do I stipulate that they're not be. Oh, that man's seen me looking at the Willy on the statue. How embarrassing. We look like a couple of old pervert. I want to scream out. It was Kate Winslet she liked. We like a couple of old pervers.

I tell you who I liked in that film. Who? Oh, I like Billy's Anne. Do you? I just thought... You are my wife! My wife! Do you know what?

Okay, he wasn't ideal. He was less than ideal as a partner. But what a lovely life she could have had with him. Yeah. Not the message of the movie, but you know, where you're coming from. You're my fiancé, my fiancé, that's what he says. We're both of the lamb. I always like the villains.

Do you? You're attracted to villains. Oh, yeah, I like a bit. Look at this one. Oh, yeah. Is this a husky? Beautiful dog. Is that a husky?

Husky Lab. Husky Lab. I didn't even know there was such a thing. Huskador, don't you know? Is that what they're called? Sue's huskador. Hello, how are you? How strange?

That is so strange. Huskador. Look, he's got one blue eye. Oh, they often have, is that quite common with huskies? It's quite common, yeah. Do you know that, Sue? They have one blue eye. Is it just one blue eye, a David Bowie thing?

One of her litter's got two blue eyes and the other is. All brown eyes. She got the David Bowling. Yeah, good, thanks. How are you? You're beautiful, aren't you? We're just recording a podcast. It's nice to see you.

It's really nice to see you. This is Emily's dog. Be very careful. Be very careful. He's going to attack. We love Susie. He's an imperial. He loves you.

He loves you. It's Emily's dog. Yeah, I mean, I do love him. I love this. What's his dog called? Coco. Coco, that was Susie's in. That was my first dog's name, yes.

She is pretty special. She's molting like a bit. Does she have more of the personality of a Labrador then or the Husky or... She's got the appetite of a Lab. Everything is about food but she's got the superiority of a Husky. Good for her. Oh, we like that. I like that a lot.

She's lovely. Bye-bye. Take care. What a lovely dog is. What do you think of those huskies? They malt too much. Oh, do they? I don't want a dog.

You mean that woman? I did know that lady. She used to work at a charity that I used to do a gig for. Oh, it's so lovely. I don't want a dog that malt's too much. Don't you? I'm going to have to get a non-shed. I'm quite picky.

What about hypoallergenic would you like? Don't care about that. Oh, okay. Some people will take anything. I mean, no, I just don't want them to mow. I'm very house proud. I'm literally going to send you some options. Right, can't wait.

But I already feel you're leaning towards a whipping. I am, yeah. Because you are quite whippet. like. Thank you. Appreciate that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Of course I do. Just as I'm quite Ray-like. Very much so. Quite small and a loss of hair. And imperial. Yeah, yes. You do end up with a dog that's right for you. What is your daughter one? Oh, anything. Something to love. And cuddle. Oh, I think you'll make a lovely dog, mum. Thank you. I can't wait. Until you get your dog. Well, then we were after another episode, weren't we?

You are going to have to, there's no choice And then leave up, we go, Wow, you had Ruffle on again. Yeah, you can't do that. Oh, there's a dog barking. Of course. We're in Brighton. Susie, it's always such a joy.

It's always a joy. I need to tell you again how much I loved your book. Oh, thank you very much. And I mean that. I appreciate that. Because it's important you know that. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Because you really put your, yeah, you put yourself out there when you write a book like that. Yeah. Well, not everyone does, and you did. Oh, thank you for saying. And I think in the end, even though it's harder to write it that way, I think the trade-off is that it really touches people and makes them laugh because you can't help but be funny. You know, that's what's so lovely about it is you go into it thinking, oh, this will make me laugh.

It's Susie. I'm safe. But then it really moved me as well and taught me so much about you. And I learned a lot from it, actually. Oh, thank you for saying that. So I'm really proud of you. Oh, thanks. I am.

That means a lot. Thank you. I really am. So everyone should buy your brilliant book, and I'm going to say it right this time. Go on then. Am I having fun now? Yeah, that's it. She smashed it.

Yeah. I took 17 takes. Am I having fun now? It did. Took about 10. Am I having fun now? Based on something your daughter said. Yes.

And I really feel you are starting to have fun now. I think I am, yeah. I'm always having fun when I'm with this woman. That's nice. and Ray and Ray I love you guys both of you oh so nice

well I remember Frank Skinner has always had this quite old obsession with you yeah Frank Cidl has got a saucepot for me which I absolutely love he always says

he says I don't really know her that well but I just get this very good feeling about her every time I mention you on the I think we're talking about groins on the beach and I said oh Susie Ruffel

explained that about was talking to me about groin and Frank was like looking me I said no it was on Brighton B and he went Oh do you know I love Susie And I love that he loves me You're an old couple aren't you

Yeah we're gonna become best friends Now what about this dog here Susie Oh yeah he's nice What is he? Should we just find out And then I'll let you go Because I think that could be a whiffet No that's a greyhound Oh you even know your breath

Because look how long his legs are I think they're both And that's a greyhound cross I'd guess Let me see as soon from the side He's got Steve Ovet issues going on at the back Can you see? Oh gosh, yeah, doesn't he just? I've all gone to with Steve O'Vette.

They're lovely. I think they're greyhounds. Are they greyhounds? Oh yeah, they may be all. They look quite serious greyhoundlings. Do you think they're raised? They look like they know what they're doing. Right, we need to let you go back.

Goodbye, Ray, my dear friend. Will you give Susie a kiss, Susie? We love you. There you go, mate. We've had a wonderful time with you. Oh, this has been pleasure, as always. And congratulations on your. a wonderful book. Give us a heart.

Thank you. Nice to see you. Can you give, what can you say? Goodbye to Ray, please. Goodbye, Ray. Nice to see you. I look forward to seeing you soon. You're a nice boy. Really? I have his, Susie. Is that how you think he talks? How do you think he talks?

Hello, I'm Ray. Hello. I really hope you enjoyed that episode of Walking the Dog. We'd love it if you subscribed and do join us next time on Walking the Dog wherever you get your podcasts.