Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Tim Key Returns!

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

Join Emily and Ray for a stroll on London's Hampstead Heath with award-winning comedian, actor and poet Tim Key. Tim doesn't have a dog, but if anyone can lure him over to the dog side... it's Raymond. Tim discusses being a shy guy at school, his relationship with Steve Coogan and how he feels about dancing on television. Follow Tim on Instagram @TimKeyPoet Tim's brilliant anthology Chapters is available for pre-order here. For more information visit: timkey.co.uk and utterandpress.co.ukListen to Emily's first walk with Tim from March 2020 Follow Emily: Instagram - @emilyrebeccadeanX - @divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Faye LawrenceMusic: Rich Jarman Artwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett Walking The Dog is a Goalhanger Podcast brought to you by Petplan: visit petplan.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is sponsored by Petplan, who are the UK's number one pet insurer. I've always used Pet Plan for Raymond as they cover things other insurers don't and they can even pay your vet directly, which can be a big help. No, Raymond, that doesn't mean you can spend all the extra cash on treats. Terms, conditions and excesses apply. Pet Plan is a trading name of Allian's Insurance PLC. What sort of things would you talk about originally before you'd found your comic voice? I used to say, dolphin-friendly tea.

Yeah, I don't care how well they get on with dolphins. I quite like that. Yeah, yeah, well, I could have done with you maybe in the audience. This week on Walking the Dog, Raymond and I took a stroll on London's Parliament Hill with comedian, actor and poet Tim Key. Tim is an award-winning stand-up, but he's also very well-known for his work with Steve Coogan,

playing one of my favourite TV characters ever, Alan Partridge's sidekick, Simon. Tim doesn't have a dog, which is probably why he gets oddly excited. whenever he sees one and randomly shouts out, Doggy! And I really think by the end of it, Raymond was luring him over to the dog's side.

Tim, I should also say, is a brilliantly funny poet. His new poetry anthology is called Chapters, and it's a thing of joy. So go grab yourself a copy at Uttorimpressed.com, plus Amazon and all the usual places from February the 14th. And for more Tim Updates, you can go to timkey.com.uk, or his Instagram at Timkeepo poet.

I really hope you enjoy our chat. I think it's time I hand over to him now, so let's get on with it. Here's Tim and Raymond. Doggy. Come on Doggy. Dog. Have we started? Yeah. Come on Doggy. He's not, he hasn't got any bigger, is he? Let's put it that way. Do your listeners, are they sort of on top of what he looks like? Yeah, how would you describe him? He is what he is, that's the best I can say.

Look, some of your makeups are. on the floor. Oh yeah. I mean this isn't very professional start is it? No, you wouldn't catch Parky with his lipstick on the floor. Oh look at this fella. Oh yeah, big dog. Lovely dog? Yeah, that's a good dog. I forgot about this podcast that you have to constantly reference all the dogs you see. What, do you not like... I like dogs. But do you not like small talk? Well, uh, what in general? Oh yeah, I'm a classic for darkening the eyes. My friend, he can't bear it when we go walking in the late district. He's really chirpy with everyone. You know when he sort of come across someone

on a mountain? He's just sort of, hello, all of that stuff. And I just, you know, get my head down. Come here. He's got a very expressive face, Ray, hasn't it? Tim. Yeah, he does actually. What does he remind you of? I've had him compared to all sorts of things in the past. Ed Miliband said he was a toupee. Alastair Campbell said he was a bog brush. Deck, maybe? Deck? A little bit? What do you think? From Anton Deck.

Is there any other? You're right. Yeah. There's a bit of deck, isn't it? Dex, I think Dex's very inquisitive. I think deck is, have you met deck? I bet you have. Yeah. What's deck like? only briefly but he had a very good energy. Yeah, I bet.

Have you met him? No, I'd love to meet Dick. Do you know what? I would hand back everything I've ever done in my life to meet Dec. And I'd hand back all the people I've met, including up to and including Frank, just to have 15 minutes with Deck. So we're in London's leafy Parliament Hill. Yeah.

Well, we're Parliament Hill's just up there, but we're on House. hamster heath, I'll give you that. I'm with the very fabulous Timke and my dog, Raymond. Yeah. So what's your history with dogs, Tim? Oh right. Um, uh, chased by one when I was about 10, a German Shepherd when we left a campsite, chased after the car.

And then bitten by one when I was about 13, Jack Russell. I'd have a tetanus jab. And, uh, and then your one, I suppose. So really I'm very fortunate to have you on this because it doesn't sound like you've had a brilliant experience with dogs. Oh, I've had some decent experiences with dogs. I had an experience with a dog recently, actually, if you want a dog story. Gone? Well, I was making a feature film.

And at the rat party, there was some decent fun at the rat party. It was actually three days before we finished shooting the film, which is quite controversial with a rat party. And then drove home from Swansea to a place called Larn. And then someone left their phone and camera in the car. So then I took the phone and camera down the hill to reunite it with Tina. And Tina had arrived at the bottom of the hill with... Steph, her housemate and two dogs, Rouge and Daisy. And I mean I've always loved Rouge and so I asked if I could take Rouge back to my

accommodation and then Daisy didn't want to go without, didn't want Rouge to go without her so I took Rouge and Daisy home and they slept in my bed. Oh, was Daisy the dog? Yeah? dog, yeah? Well, I mean, I don't think I'm going to come on your podcast and just talk you through a situation where at a rat party I went home with a girl called Daisy. I just thought you might slip up and I'd catch you out. So anyway, it was my good fortune to smoke this girl, Daisy.

Oh, thank you. He is. He's called Raymond. Oh, Raymond. Thank you. He gets a lot of love, Tim. Yeah, that crashed straight into my anecdote. Yeah, so growing up in the key household, what was the pet situation? Two cats.

Called? Sissy. And sweep. There is often a bit of a situation. Okay. When you get the double act name, isn't there? Oh, great, yeah. There's something slightly sad when, because unless they leave this earth at the same time,

you're stuck with one half of a double act. Which is what we were. We were stuck with sweep. And I've got to say, I mean, it's horrible to actually say it on air, but sweep wasn't quite so nice to stroke. She was a bit coarse because one time she knocked over some, she knocked over a pot of terps and all of her hair fell out. So then she had to grow the hair back And it never was I mean it was always very nice to have sit here on your lap

But sweep slightly less so And this was Bill and Carol Your mum and dad who I love the sound of Bill and Carol Carol and Bill traditionally Oh is it? Yeah You grew up in Was it a village in Cambridgeshire Yeah I grew up in Impington

What's Impington like? You know just a sort of nice basic little village I suppose I mean there's two villages next to each other clamped together you know when that can happen they're called Heston and Impington and then you have like stuff like

there's one pub called the Rosen Crown where one bar is in Heston the other bar is in Heston the other bars in impington that sort of stuff and Carol and Bill what do they do? Well I mean they're retired now Carol was last seen in a school as a learning support assistant and Bill, a sort of engineering type individual, a sort of a, electro-electro-microscopes.

You know the really powerful ones where you can see a fly's eye. So they're clever people, your parents. Yeah, they are pretty clever. And so they're quite academic. Were you academic? I was a bit of a swatto. Why you? Yeah, I used to do my homework.

Come home from school, get my homework done, then I was free. And then, you know, latterly, when there was things like coursework, I'd get that done. You know, I wouldn't go to, I didn't really like the deadline looming, so I would like finish a little early. And if your parents had to describe you, what would they have said? If someone had said, oh, what's little Timothy like? I think I was quite shy. I can imagine that.

Well, why did you pull that face down? I just found it really sweet. I like shy Tim. Yeah, I was shy. Still am shy sometimes. So were you not, did you hang out with sort of extroverts at school and stuff? Or were you with the shy guys? No, no. You could tend to find me and sort of blockbuster choosing which two videos to watch with my pals.

That was that sort of guy, I think. Occasionally a bit of Tempin bowling. Were you always funny? I do remember liking making people laugh, I think. You know, at sort of age kind of eight, I think that was probably something that was happening. You know, giggling at the back of the classroom, that sort of stuff. I think that was definitely on the agenda.

And it often starts with kind of taking the piss out of teachers and things and thinking, oh yeah, this is good. Yeah, there was a lot of that. but not in a kind of but not sort of like front and centre just sort of sneaky and at the back I think if you would sort of pluck someone

from my school and say did he do that they'd go I don't think so I wasn't like standing on the table and ripping my teachers to shreds just a little bit of snide you know bubbling under

you went to university you went to Sheffield. Why did you do Russian? Because I went to, in my year, I had a year off, after Sixth Form and opted to go to, amazingly, live in Kiev for four months and teach English. And then when I came back, decided to change my degree from English language and linguistic. to Russian studies so that I could eventually go back to Ukraine. That was the plan, amazingly. What did you make of Russia?

Did you like living there? Yeah. I suppose if you find any new country at that point, it's always going to be a bit of a laugh, because you're with your pals and you're sort of marauding around Russia for a year. Yeah. So, yeah, I quite liked it.

But I did, I really liked Kiev, really liked Ukraine. Did your parents Are they really thrilled? They must have been really proud of you When I studied Russian Well just that's quite an achievement I think Well there was they came and visited me And I do remember them

You know Us sort of hailing a cab And me sort of You know Saying to the guy I mean this thing is this is what they hear They go I say

No davidya Sook And he goes No, no, 50, 40, Let's do. 5,000. Well, 45. Now, then we get in the car.

My parents like looking at me going, wow, it is fantastic. But the conversation that we've just had is me going 40 and he going 50. And he go 40, come on. And him going 50, and me going 45. And then going, get in. And they're going for romance of this language.

I could speak it quite well. Do you still speak it very well? I'll presume it that's... I can speak the accent I've got. I still think when you have studied it to that level and also when you're... when you've spent time living there, you must be really aware of sort of bad accents and things

in TV dramas. Oh, right. Well, it's more when you see a... If I was to see an English actor playing a Russian person and speaking Russian, I think I'd sort of notice that. I think Bond does a little bit of the old Russian in one of his films. Which Bond? Daniel Craig, I think he says a couple of words.

I think they were pretty good. Who's your favourite Bond? Well, who do you think? Same as you. Roger Moore? Laysenby. I love Laysenby. So, post-Russia, you obviously ended up auditioning for footlights. I did actually, yeah.

But... Heavily implying that I was at Cambridge. And by heavily implying, I mean, I'm saying Cambridge. I think mostly everyone says good luck to me. I think when people... When I've told people that I've done that, you know, in podcasts... I think people say good luck to you. Do some people not say that?

I don't think many people are saying bad luck to you. I think the only person who could say bad luck to you is probably the next person along who didn't get into the show. It didn't really turn into an issue, did it? There were only a few things like you didn't have the Cambridge email address and you were able to say... Oh, I said, yeah, yeah, when I did the audition, there was like you had to write your email address down

and so I wrote it on a list. I just added mine to the list and all of the other ones said things like S.hill at cantab.ac.ac.uk. And then D. D. Ullathorne at cantab.ac.ac.uk. And then Tim Key 5. At BT internet. Did they not question it then? They did say...

They did question it. They said, oh. Where's your college address? And I said, that's... I'm waiting for that to come through. And they're quite good, those sorts of phrases, aren't they? Because they don't really mean anything? I suppose, though.

That was my plan, was to say, yeah, that was waiting for my college address to come through. I mean, if it wasn't a lie, was real life I guess I'd have been really frustrated I should have made me made out I was more frustrated by that you should have gone oh yeah yeah don't ask me ask the bloody college they want sent my email address through I would have done it like this I'd have gone oh here we go well it's funny you should mention that yeah exactly and I would have done it like that and I would have said well of course you would have done it like that but I think my whole plan was to just

try and keep it like don't get involved in any of it much better plan if they go oh okay So, which college you are, I'd answer the question, but I wouldn't go at this college and, you know, it's fantastic there actually. If you ever get the chance, we have a fantastic pub quiz on the Thursday. I just was like play it with a very straight bat. That's where people go wrong. That's where people go wrong. They provide too much detail. Well, and they think that that is, they think that's beneficial.

They think that gives them the ring of truth. It's like when people say sorry I couldn't make it or sorry I'm the thing is what's happened is that then this habit no no immediately your credibility is gone my friend's father-in-law just he doesn't provide any excuses and so now my friend does that and now I do that as well we call that pleading the Barry you have to just plead the Barry is he called Barry yeah his father-in-law's called Barry so you plead the Barry so you plead the Barry so someone Someone will go, do you fancy doing this at 3 o'clock on Saturday with me and Michael? And you just go, I can't, I'm afraid.

So much better. No one's going to say why. But I think I spent too much of my adult life saying, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm just so snowed under. If I can or try and make it like a little later, but you just say, oh, I can't make it. I'm sorry. It's really good. really good. It's an absolute silver bullet. I did a brilliant one today where someone asked me to do a gig.

And I just said, oh, sorry, I'm out for this one. But I think usually I'd have said, I'm so sorry I've got another one that night. Or, you know, I'm not exactly sure how my schedules are working that month. But I'm out for this one. I mean, I'm not. I could do the gig. That's the amazing thing. Did you, is that something you've consciously worked at, though? Do you think you were a bit more of a people, please? when you were younger? Oh, I think I definitely still am. But, yeah, definitely a people pleaser. I always go to kind of...

It amazes me when people aren't. You must be, mustn't you? Massively. Yeah. And I'm so... The idea of, like, someone not being pleased. You have to please these people. I spend my life doing it.

I'm so impressed him, aren't you, when someone is able to just offer a clean no? Yeah, I love the no. You know who's very good at that? Yeah, Frank. Frank Skinner is the master of the direct no that doesn't cause offence. I mean, it's brilliant. You feel so good when you give a no, because what you need, what people want in their lives, you have to understand.

All everyone needs in their lives is a quick no. That's all you want. The quick no means you can move on with things. Always a quick moe and that works with any example at all. The people pleasing thing is interesting because I imagine as a performer and you're quite an in-demand performer, that's something you do have to slightly cultivate, but you have to learn it a bit because you can't do everything that's asked of you.

Not quite, no. I understand the question, but I think I'm a bit less busy than you're implying. I mean, I say it's good to give a quick no, but I don't usually have to. But I think also you're quite liked, and I think that can have its own pressures. But that's only because I try and be like. It's only because you people please. Yeah, people please. You ended up being part of Footlights and performing with them. Also, there was no dramatic, talented Mr. Ripley, talented Mr Timke reveal.

Oh, what is that? What's the reveal? There's no reveal is what I'm saying. No, there was a reveal. There was once a reveal where about maybe two months into the process when I was now in there with the six of us and there's a couple of directors there's a dog and a couple of producers and we all had, you know, dinner and stuff because we'd finish writing the script. Hello, Doggy. And at that point, the director did say to me, I think that this guy's got something he wants to say. And then I didn't reveal it to everyone.

But, I mean, everyone was like, I mean, to be fair. Has he cleared it with you beforehand? I think so. I hope so. I don't like this guy otherwise. Oh, you do like this guy? Oh, he will do, yeah. He's people-pleaser.

Oh, one of us. Yeah, he's one of our lot. And then you decided, you knew you wanted to be a comic at that point? No, at that point I was just kind of, you know, floating along, going with the flow. It was quite a difficult thing to envisage that you might be a comedian, I think.

I mean like as in you can sort of it seems possible to be a journalist or you know to be a lawyer or you know work for the home office or something that all seems like possible stuff but to be a comedian

that does feel a bit far-fetched so the only way I think that I could do it was for it to sort of gradually become a more and more normal thing until you realise that you're doing it. There was never like a bit, you know, two years out where I'm thinking, I want to be a comedian. It just sort of happens.

And when you started, Tim, you initially did slightly more, I suppose, traditional observational stuff, didn't you? Oh, what, as a stand-up? Yeah, when you first... Oh, I just couldn't do it. I mean, I basically did, I did it ten times and then quit. What was your early stuff like? I'd love to see it. I mean, you won't be able to see it. I had maybe ten things I had to say and you go on stage and talk for five minutes.

Doggy! That dog just jumped up and tried to bite your dog. I didn't like it. No, he has to go now. Do you know, I always get an instinct and I'm not usually right. I knew he'd be trouble. Yeah. He's not one of us, is he, that dog? I knew he was trouble. when you walked in.

Yeah. We were talking about your comedy when you started out. What sort of things would you talk about originally before you'd found your comic voice? I used to say, dolphin friendly tuner. Yeah, I don't care how well they get on with dolphins. I quite like that. Yeah, yeah, well, I could have done with you maybe in the audience. What else did you do?

I can't remember. Did you do any football stuff? I think I used to say, you know when you sort of are walking along towards someone and you both kind of go left and then both go right, you know, that was. awkward thing. I think I said it would be really useful at this stage for someone with authority like David Beckham to just do a press conference where he just says from now on everyone is going to go to their left. Again, I like it. Yeah, okay. Well, again, they didn't. And I mean, I did this stuff. I literally, I suppose I literally had like 10 jokes or 10 things to say and it

would last five minutes and I did it ten times. So that means probably I did stand up for basically an hour and then quit. An hour over the course of maybe five months. You quit? Yeah, quit. Totally quit. 2002. And what did you do then? Well then I was like working with Alex Horn as his assistant on stage and then I was also writing a little one play, which I took to Edinburgh. And then maybe, by about two years later, 2004, maybe, I'd started writing poems. And then shortly after that, my friend Brino organized a gig.

Well, we all organised it, let's be fair. And it was in his lounge. It was called Live in Breen's Lounge. And the act would climb in through the window of his lounge and do five minutes and leave. And Mark Watson compared it. Alex Horn did it. And we'd all met Paul Foote, and he headlined it.

And they asked me to do stand up. And I said, I wouldn't do it. But I'd do some poems. So I read my poems out, and that's how my act started that night. And when you say your poems, had you been writing this anyway? Yeah, I'd written about... 200 poems, I think, and no one had heard them. Was there a part of you that felt, oh, this isn't, I don't know if I can do this as comedy?

Why do you say that? I suppose the reason I say that is just because you were saying comedy anyway didn't seem like a world that was open to you. So the idea of doing comedy that was not the kind of traditional comedy you would have seen on TV, for example, I just wonder if that felt more daunting or like something you know. No, this just felt like, uh, this just felt like doing something with my friends. And I think I just, I think I just had a hunch that I could at least make them laugh with it. But like I say, it had nothing to, that doing that compared to starting a career in comedy,

the two things didn't have anything to do with each other. This was just, maybe if I really, this stuff out. People might find that quite funny. And they did. Well, to be honest, it was literally, when I climbed through that window, I decided to wear a suit. And when I climbed through, I put my tie on. And then I opened a can of red stripe and I had Russian, like Soviet lounge music on. And I read my poems out of little scraps of paper and notepads.

So, I mean, amazingly, it was completely... completely, totally fully formed what my act is now from the first time I did it. Which is weird because I think if I'd done what I was doing for another five years I think it would have just

you know just twisted and turned and I would have just been like working and work, yeah let's sit down working and working at it and I think I would have probably got nowhere or maybe even you know

become sort of mediocre. Do you think so? Yeah, but with the other one, when I did it with poetry, it was immediately kind of very fun and completely mine. And it meant that I, yeah, I mean, literally I've done that now, that same stuff for, that way of doing things I've done now for about 15, 20 years. And you won the Edinburgh Comedy Award, as it's now called?

I did actually, yeah, for my sins. Were you really, did you feel like, oh, I've arrived now? Oh, I felt great. Yeah. I'm not really a sort of, you know, too cool for school kind of a guy. That award was like a, that felt like a big moment. Frank's going to give it to me, you know, Frank? You work with him on the radio.

Did Frank give me the award? Did Frank give me the award? Were you a fan of Frank's beforehand? Not really, but that put him on my radar. When someone gives you an award, you at least have the common courtesy to Wikipedia. I was a fan of Frank. Were you? Yeah.

Yeah, of course. I think this is 2009, so I'd had a lot of Frank. I'd had a lot of, like, you know, fantasy football league and all that stuff. You remind me of Frank in a lot of ways. I think in terms of your... how you approach comedy. Okay. Because I do think there's a sort of integrity about what he does

in terms of this kind of a line in the sand. There are certain things he wouldn't do. And he said to me, I really like the idea of this, but there's that one thing that would make me wake up in the middle of the night for the rest of my life thinking, why did I compromise myself?

What I want to tell you is I went on Soccer A.M. I mean, for a start off, they weren't at all interested in talking about my Radio 4 documentary. I mean, they phone you up, don't they? And they have, like, a research chat. I'd spoken to the guy on the phone. I told him it's all about Daniel Karmes, this absurdist Russian writer in the 1930s. And then I get there, and, you know, AP McCoy is there, the jockey. Franny Jeffers is there, talking about whether or not he's going to go and play in Qatar or somewhere.

and then another guy comes up to me, similar sort of age again, and says, yeah, just talking through the stuff you're going to be saying about, we're going to talk about Steve Coogan, and I'm like, yeah. And there's obviously this Radio 4 documentary, which is obviously why I was on it. And he's like, yep, yep, yep. Then I go on the thing. They talk about Steve Coogan, and then they talk about this thing I'd done where I'd mention, that Craig Johnston, the guy who invented the Predator Boot, he also invented the technology

that means if you take a can out of a mini bar in a hotel room, it senses that you've taken the can't just take the can out and replace it with one from Tesco's the next day. I'd mentioned this on some other show and they asked me about that as if like that was my career was talking about that. He's like so, and you've got something interesting to say about Craig Johnston, haven't you? haven't you? I'm like, I don't think so. He goes, with the fridge. So now that's my anecdote. And then they're talking to AP McCoy and I'm thinking, I don't know how I'm going to swing this back round to my Radio 4 documentary. Then we all go out into the car park and we have to

hit the football in the top bins and answer questions. And then when you get the question right, you hit the ball into the top bins. And I kept on missing the top bins. Any way, AP McCoy wasn't shooting into the top bins because he had like wedding shoes on. And then right at the end we have one final question, we get it right and they egg AP McCoy on to just at least have one shot. He gets it into the top bins and then everyone goes wild and they're sort of, you know, dancing and like grabbing each other and like it's, you know, singing champione or something. And I'm joining in and I'm like absolutely, I'm hating it so much that when I went to Australia later that year, I went on a radio show with people

who had liked my work and they said, look, we've got to finish with this. You went on soccer A.M. I'm like, yeah. And I go, that's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Seeing you trying to join in with that dancing at the end. You were hating that, weren't you? Hello, beautiful Frenchie. There's no talking to some people. How do you know he's French? The dog was Frenchy, not the man. No, he's still there. Of course he's still there. He doesn't have long enough to get away.

Why didn't he answer me to him that man? Not everyone is on the same page as you, Emily. One of these days you're going to realise that. I just love talking. I hate it. Do you? You're doing quite well today. Well, I know it's because I know we're going to get onto the book at some point. Okay, we'll do it now.

This podcast is sponsored by Pet Plan, who helped keep the nation. dogs happy and healthy. There was so much to think about when I got my dog, Raymond, toilet training, grooming, food, and just how many belly rubs can one woman reasonably be expected to give to a Shih Tzu every day. But one thing I've never had to worry about is paying for veterinary care because I decided to ensure Raymond with Pet Plan, who are the UK's number one pet insurance provider. Oh, don't get jealous, Raymond, of course you're still my number one. Just a tad on the maintenance side. Terms, conditions and excesses apply. Pet Plan is a trading name of Allian's

insurance PLC. I was actually going to talk to you about, we've gone on to you winning the Edinburgh Comedy Award. And then I think obviously at that point you sort of knew, right, this is my act now. Yeah. There was no question of you going back. No, that was now, that had set in now my act. And when did you first? start to publish your poetry? Oh, great question. Already I'd started then. That happened in 2009 when Frank Garland did me.

And I'd published my first book in 2007, which was a book of poems in a fawn cover designed by a recently graduated art and design student called Ryan Raz. And it was my poems, his design, and also little, tricksy little things like recipes and bits and pieces. And I think we made 700 of them and sold them in 2007. It's a really nice book. You can't get it anymore.

I haven't got one. Sometimes someone comes up to me at a gig and asks me to sign one. And I think, I wish I had that. Oh, Elmo, what a great name. Thank you. He looks like an Elmo. Elmo, you brought us to stick. Thank you. Let's go.

Goodbye, Elmo. So you've had a couple of anthologies out, Tim Key. And you have just... Oh, great. Here we go. You are just bringing out your latest poetry anthology, chapters. Which I've just read. Have you?

And I really loved it. Oh, good. What's lovely about it is that it's some of your greatest hits. Well, yeah. Now that's what I call Tim Key. Yeah, it is a bit now, 2020, isn't it? And it also includes a sort of brilliant kind of director's commentary element, which is this ongoing conversation between you and your design collaborator, Emily.

Emily Juniper. They're lovely because they're sort of in footnote form. And are these based on genuine conversations you've had with her? And then slightly ramped up. Yeah, ramped up. Well, there's a sort of a mixture. I think when we first started collaborating together, I think we made a pack of playing cards.

And I landed upon that sort of way of doing things where I don't know how that happened, but I think maybe it probably did come from once having a phone call with her and putting the phone down and just typing up three or four lines that we'd said. I think I'm kind of quite, I suppose, quite fortunate in writing this stuff where literally I've kind of decided that my genre will be the two things that I like writing, which is dialogue and poems.

I mean, sometimes Emily Juniper does say, or sometimes we'll be talking and she'll say, oh dear, that's going in the book, isn't it? And it does really. But yeah, so that's what the book is. So this is classic Tim Kee. Great. From chapters, this is something I really loved.

I went into the hairdressers and showed him a photo of a bloke. I'd like a haircut like that, cheers. He went very serious. That's my brother, he said. A little less off the fringe, though, I continued, miming scissors, licking my lips. Where did you get this photo of my brother? I rubbed my hands together and pulled out my plastic shawl. I fixed it round my neck and did a little curtsy.

I waddled over to the chair. Yeah. I love that. Oh, that's good. I think the way you write poetry, Tim, is you've got a proper poet's mind, haven't you? I think I've probably got quite a kind of, I suppose, a little bit of a slightly creative mind. And I think what's quite lucky is the fact that I've started writing, you know, inconsequential, bits of poetry has meant that I've always had a kind of an outlet in a way that maybe

at some other comedians, it means I can just churn out a load of stuff that no one will ever see. And I think that is probably quite good for getting better at writing and just sort of keeping going creatively. Otherwise you're just, otherwise you maybe just start to think of jokes and that's not easy to do or you start to think of what would be a good idea for a film or something and that's a bit too daunting whereas poetry I can think of an idea and then approximately two minutes later it's done it's there on the paper yeah yeah which is kind of quite good I think because it means that you can unleash a lot of ideas some of which we'll never see the light of day, but at least they're sort of, they're there.

No chat with Tim Key would be complete. Now then. Here it comes. Without. Here it comes. And Alan Partridge mentioned. Oh, great. That's a good idea. Because... Fantastic. That's how a lot of people know you.

Yeah, and him. Do you get recognised for that mainly? If people come up to you and say, is it in reference to... Simon, his psychic. No, it's a real it's a real mish-mash. I get all sorts. Particularly in London.

Quite a lot of people I think quite a lot of people have seen me live in London. So there's a bit of that, a bit of partridge and then a bit of you know, I pop up in things

that's the thing. And you were genuinely were you quite nervous when you first were with Steve Coogan? I was very nervous. Yeah, it was quite an intense situation because I was a big Alan Partridge fan

you know, aprox 20 years before. You know, when I was like 17, 16, I mean, he's my favourite. Listening to his knowing me knowing you and the day to day and watching the day to day and watching I'm Alan Partridge and stuff I think it's some of the best stuff ever so it was very odd to then I mean meeting him was one thing that was a bit of a handful in terms of just keeping yourself together but then filming the mid-morning matters

that's sort of a double whammy because you get you get full on Steve Coogan and then to make matters worse you get an absolute dollop of Alan Partridge in a soundproof room where his character is written as being quite an intimidating character for my guy so there wasn't really a much acting that had to be done

and does Steve work in quite a a way in which you're sort of in character the minute you guys sit down. Oh God, no. No, he's not a lunatic. But at the same time, he does have like a... He's dressed as Alan Partridge. And, you know, there's a... Obviously, there's always going to be a little bit of Alan Partridge in...

There's a little bit going each way with Partridge and Coogan, probably. I mean, yeah, it's... He'd say himself. But no, he doesn't, he's not like Poirot. It's a great reference and I'm going to have to make you elaborate. Poirot does do that, doesn't he? David Soucher is it? I think he gets his Poirot on, doesn't he?

What does he do then? So he goes on set and he says, excuse me, I would need you to bring this to me. But hang on, it's a good accent when he does it on telly, isn't it? Is it not? You were talking about Steve Coogan and I... Yeah. I've never met him and I really... Have you not? No, and I think I'd really like him.

Yeah, I really like him. I feel he has integrity over his work. Oh, my goodness, of course he does. I think more than most. Do you? Oh, God, yeah. He's very good, yeah, he's really good for that. I mean, you do sometimes...

I do sometimes think slightly. Do I? little bit, what would Steve well, not what would Steve do, but I mean, maybe, what would Steve think if I took this? Not to an enormous extent, but I think you do need to have that

kind of slight barometer. You can't just be willy-nilly just doing everything and not expecting. If it is a bit naff, you have to sort of live with the consequences of that, I think. I would never judge anyone at the same time for taking anything. You know, people

might need the money, for example or they might take it because it would be a laugh might want to keep busy I mean with most jobs there's like some fun to be had I suppose

and you can't just wait for the perfect thing to come up I like what would Steve do I think what would Steve do is pretty good but it's only good because like I say he is he's quite discerning. He makes choices and quite sort of bold choices.

I mean, to be fair, he did play Jimmy Saville. I'm sure there would have been some people who would have thought I probably won't do that. Yeah. What's the favourite type of work that you do? Well, before, I think I'm at a bit of a better position now than before where I think, if you'd ask me that, 10 years ago, I'm definitely thinking,

it's whatever I'm not doing at the moment. So, for example, hello dog. Tim, there's been a lot of dogs approaching us with sticks while I've been with you. Go on, doggy. That dog's obsessed by you, Tim. Is that his owner down there? You need to go back to your owner. What's it called bagel?

I think so. Fast dog. Yeah, so about, I think 10 years ago, if you've asked me that, I would say if I'm doing my live show at the time, I'd be so racked with nerves before shows and stuff that I'd be thinking there must be an easier way of making a living than doing this. And then you finish it and you just kind of go, great.

And now we'll do some writing instead. And then writing so hard that you think, I mean, this is insane. I'd like an acting job now because acting is obviously easy well you're kind of got that thing where you're infantilised slightly as well haven't you where someone's picking you up telling you where to be looking after your food you know so then you go and do the acting but then acting's really hard because you have to like learn your lines and also all the people around you are actual actors so then you think well I don't

know maybe I want to just I think I just need to do live stuff because it's just my At least it's my words and stuff like that. And you just go in that circle like that. And so whenever I did do a job where I really enjoyed it, I'd actually notice that, oh, this is probably... So I always really enjoy doing my radio show, recording my radio show, which is with Tom Bazden and Katie Wicks. And I just love doing it.

The writing is pretty hard still. But when you're actually doing it, and I really love radio, it's a good balance of quite high stakes because it's my own thing but also it is a bit more relaxed making radio but also you want it to be really really good well you're still you're shy guys we've established shy guy not a shy now are you not no but then but now since you asked me now not 10 years ago I definitely really enjoyed doing my last show I love doing it Look. He's not got any clothes on, is he that man?

Have you ever had any famous people wanting to cultivate you a bit? Oh, that's a good idea. What do you mean cultivate me? Well, thinking Tim Key's quite a cool person to know. Because I think you might lend credibility to people. Oh, that's a great idea. That's really good.

I think you're the closest I've had. What do you spend your money on, Tim? What are your luxuries? It's a great question. Well... You don't buy expensive cars. No, I don't have any cars. I think I've got everything now.

I think I'm up to date on things that I need. It is quite nice when you have some disposable income and in other news you'd really like to buy a record player because then you just buy the record player. record player. But I think your attitude, and I think Frank is very similar to you, is that I've got a record player. Whereas I think

a lot of people think, but I've got to get the record player that... I'd get the better record player. Yeah. That I saw Harry Stiles had on Instagram or whatever. But imagine replacing your record player. I can't really imagine doing that. But what I'm saying is

it's this permanent aspiration towards acquisition and I don't think you really have that disease do you? I don't think I do but then again I think part of that is because you have like a you're your your flat my flat anyway it's just like it's full I mean I can't really buy a kiln because where am I put my kiln? You're quite content though aren't you? Well not really are you? I don't think so but Why not?

Quite content though, I'll give you that. You can have a veneer of contentment. I mean, bless your little heart, you've just thought that I was content. I did think that. I still do think that. I know, I know. But why would I lie? Why would I hide? Why would I say I'm not?

I mean, there's a lot of things that I am actually. I kind of quite like, you know, what I do, really. I love the fact that I'm able to write a book and I have an amazing person I collaborate with and now the book is about to go out. I love that. But I mean, that's only part of a... It can't be the only thing that makes you content, can't it. But I do like it.

But some people wouldn't even acknowledge that. But what they would be saying is, well, how much is so-and-so getting paid for that? Well, yeah, but I'm very fortunate. I don't know why that hasn't happened, but I'm really lucky that I've never thought that about anyone. Have you not? No. And I know of people who do. I think it's because it just all started so slowly.

I definitely had a job until I was in my early 30s. And so I guess it took me like about sort of six years, maybe, seven years of doing it before. I could make a living. So I think that that gives you a real grounding in thinking, well, this is pretty good. I don't have to go to work now. And so you're not really thinking, to be fair, you're not thinking I wish I was as successful as, I don't know,

you tell me, one of my contemporaries. Paddy McGuinness? Paddy McGuinness, yeah. You don't look across at Paddy McGuinness because you sort of think I quite like the fact that my stuff is just gradually becoming more and more viable. And I've always been very, always felt that I was able to make stuff that I found, that I was proud of creatively. Every year there'll be something where I go, I'm really pleased with that, with how that turned out. So, no, I never look across at anyone.

I think that the fact that I don't like and find it very difficult the whole world of panel shows and stuff like that. The fact I didn't really do any of that means that you find yourself, I think maybe you find yourself a little away from everything and you don't really like compare yourself with people quite so much because you're just sort of off somewhere else in the margins. So I think that that lack of skill at doing those things is quite useful. need to work at having, you need to cultivate a lack of skill in certain areas. Doggy! I think you secretly quite love Ray. No. Tim? Yeah, I do actually. He reminds me of you in many ways. Oh God. Loyal. He takes the road less travelled. Oh, that's a good point. Tim, I know, I can never imagine you getting angry with anyone. You're so calm and good-natured. How does this the key anger express itself? I think I keep my head pretty well. But you know, sometimes

people push you to the brink, don't they? And then sometimes you have to just kind of take a breath and walk away for a moment. Well, you're a people pleases. You're a people pleaser, so when you're a people pleaser, you do get pushed to the brink. Yeah. You don't, you don't really like it if people, you know, take advantage of your good nature. Do people do that? take advantage of your good nature? You do know sometimes that people are, people treat people differently if they're like slightly scared of where you just go, oh God, I don't want to get on the wrong side of that person. And people don't really mind getting on the wrong side

of me, I don't think, because it's similar to the right side really. Do they think, oh, Tim will be okay? Tim might mind. Yeah, exactly. I was on a project once where, um, I was, um, you're I kept banging my head on the door of the shop in the TV show. And I was like, can someone put like some foam on there? Because I keep banging my head. And I banged it like, and I got quite angry because I banged it twice in one morning. Just going back onto the set, walking through this thing. And they just didn't put the foam up.

I was like, just find some foam somehow. Because I ban my head twice now. And then I remember thinking, I really hope that the actress bangs her head because that foam will go right up. And she banged her head. And honestly, I mean, even before her head had bounced off, there was foam there. I think they managed to get the foam up before she banged it. Slid it under. We need to leave you now.

We've just got back to the Lider and Parliament Hill. I've loved my walk with Timmy. We had a lovely walk. Oh, hang on. I'm just going to pick up his poo. Careful of the poo, ladies. It's poo ladies. So Tim, let's wrap up the podcast now.

Yep. Okay. I've loved walking with you today. I had a lovely walk. I always enjoy Hampstead Heath alone, let alone with you two. Do you think you'll ever get a dog, Tim? Yeah, probably. What would you get? What type? Labrador.

Well, I'll tell you what, a dog that I've always quite enjoyed is the old husky. But I don't know much about them. Do they need snow or something? No, but they can be, they're lovely dogs. Gary Lineca's got a part husky. He's got a, I don't know what they're called. It's a husky and a bit of German Shepherd. Right.

He was a brilliant player, wasn't he, Garry Linniker. My parents got me out of bed, and I got to watch him score his hat-trick against Poland. Never booked? Never booked, no. Three against Poland, and then the next match, they got me out of bed again. he only goes and gets two against Paraguay.

Is Garolinoa one of your favourite players? Oh God, yeah. I had a poster of him in my bedroom with his little broken wrist. Do you know he's going to love this? He won't. He won't. He must get it all the time.

Him sliding in, Jimmy Hill going mad on comms. Those were the days, weren't they? Now he's taken over podcasting. Weird that, isn't it? Maybe I'll get another poster of him now in the sort of sounder. room, the engineering room. Have you got one of him in a board room? I can get. Maybe what it proves is if you're good at one thing, you can be good at anything.

That's true. Whatever he turns his mind to. Who are the other great people at doing that, the second career? Oh yeah. You? No, I think mine's just one big lump. Rose met a Pomeranian. Oh, that's quite good. That's a lot of fur. Do you think they know that they're both very furry? Yeah, they must do. They're living with it. It's their lived experience. Do you know you've got sort of medium-length brown hair? Yeah, but it doesn't make me run over and start smelling the bum of someone with medium-length brown hair.

No, you've been very disciplined. What's your dog called? Is it booboo? Booboo. Booboo, Ray. So this is how it ends. Ray and boo-boo. Started off as Tim Kear and Emily Dean ends up with Ray and boo-boo.

Ray's off with boo-boo now. Tim, thank you so much. And I really insist that you all go out and purchase a copy of chapters. Yeah. Tim's poetry anthology, because... Utterimpressed.co.com.com. Limited edition. It's so brilliant.

You've got to get it while you can. That's going to sell out. Tim. Say goodbye to Raymond. Goodbye, Raymond. Goodbye, Boo-boo. Bubu just kissed Raymond. Bye-bye, boo-bye, boo-boo.

Bye-bye, boo-boo. Goodbye, Ray. See you next time, Ray. send my love to Gary Lineca I really hope you enjoyed that episode of Walking the Dog we'd love it if you subscribed and do join us next time on Walking the Dog wherever you get your podcasts