Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Victoria Pendleton (Part One)

Episode Date: May 19, 2026

This week Emily and Ray take a stroll with Olympic gold medallist Victoria Pendleton.Victoria was in London for the recording, meaning her beloved Belgian Malinois, Valor, stayed back home in the West Country, but the conversation quickly turns to dogs, including the Rhodesian Ridgeback Victoria met while appearing on The Dog House.Emily chats to Victoria about her extraordinary life and career, from growing up in Bedfordshire with a cycling-mad dad, to becoming one of Britain’s most successful Olympians. Victoria speaks candidly about the pressure of elite sport, the impact it had on her mental health, and the importance therapy has played in her life. She also opens up movingly about the loss of her twin brother Alex to brain cancer and how she’s learned to live alongside grief.Since retiring from cycling, Victoria has continued to seek out huge challenges, from training as a jockey for the Cheltenham Festival to attempting to climb Mount Everest. Her new book The Fear Opportunity explores how embracing fear and stepping outside our comfort zones can change our lives for the better. It’s out on May 21st and available to order now. It’s an incredibly open, thoughtful and inspiring walk with someone who has achieved remarkable things, but speaks about life with huge honesty and warmth. And yes, Ray was completely adored.Follow Emily:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilyrebeccadeanX: https://twitter.com/divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Will NicholsMusic: Rich JarmanArtwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

That was it. I just wanted to have loads of animals and be like a little old lady sat at home with all loads of trophies. Then medals in the background. That's all I wanted. I want to be a crazy cat, cat rabbit horse lady. That's what I want to be ultimately. You know that's me minus the trophy. Is it? This week on walking the dog, Ray and I went for a stroll with Olympic gold medalist Victoria Pendleton. We met up with Victoria while she was in London, so her dog, Vala, who's a Belgian Malinois, was back at Victoria's home in the West Country. but I couldn't wait to hear all about her. And I also wanted to know about the Rhodesian Ridgeback her mum was matched with when they both appeared on Channel 4's The Doghouse.

Victoria is, of course, one of Britain's most famous Olympic cyclists, and she's genuinely had a fascinating life. And we talked about all of it, from her childhood growing up in Bedfordshire, with a keen amateur cyclist dad who got her involved in cycling from a very young age to her career as an Olympian, which brought with it, a huge amount of success, but took quite a toll on her mental health, and she was incredibly honest about how important therapy has been for her. She also talked to me about losing her

twin brother Alex to brain cancer a few years ago, and how she's learned to live alongside that grief. Victoria retired from the sport 14 years ago, but like a lot of Olympians, she wasn't about to sit around in a onesie watching reality TV all day, which by the way is precisely what I would have done. Instead, she pushed herself into new challenges like deciding to train as a jockey for the Cheltenham Festival, despite never having been on a horse before, and taking part in an attempt to climb Mount Everest. And she's drawn on all these life experiences for a new book she's written called The Fear Opportunity, where she talks about how harnessing fear and doing small things that scare us every day can help us lead much better lives. And I have to say,

I loved this book. I found it so helpful and inspiring. So I really recommend you give it a read yourself. It's out on May the 21st, so do order your copy now. Ray and I had such a lovely time with Victoria. She's incredibly warm and easy to talk to, and she's also one of the most honest and open people I've ever met. She also utterly adored Ray. So I might have to invite us down to visit her and her dog in the countryside. Just FYI, Victoria, the last time I got on a bike was in 1994. and I immediately fell off, so maybe don't make it a cycling weekend. Really hope you enjoy our walk. Here's Victoria and Ray Ray. Come on then, Vic. I'm calling you Vic already. Yeah, do that.

Do that. Is that all right? Yeah, that's absolutely fine. Vic or VP is what I go as these days. Victoria sounds like I'm in trouble. And Vicky sounds a bit like Vicky Pollard, which I feel like I've outgrown. Yeah.

Let's go this way. Okay. I like Victoria. It's very classy and traditional, isn't it? It is, which isn't really like how I? am doesn't really feel like it fits very well but then let's be honest Raymond isn't really a Raymond is he oh yes that's a gentlemanly name isn't it's a gentlemanly name I think people expect him to be called fluffy kins or tinkerbell and when I say

Raymond which sounds like he's an old East Enders character in the pub they go oh oh that's why I like it no I like subverting people's expectations and I think you're a bit like that oh well I I appreciate that actually because I found that a huge compliment I think really oh yeah and 100% like the idea I feel like quite misunderstood and a lot of the time and also underestimated a little bit you know like people who are too small you're too puny you're too emotional you too this and I was like if I still win stuff I would just if I were you I'd wear my gold medals all the time yeah just to

silence people. I mean, you can't get a better silencer than that. Yeah, although they are quite noisy, clanging together. What can I say? I mean, it's a first world problem. Yeah, it is. So I'm so thrilled, Victoria, that you've found the time to do this because I'm a huge fan of yours. In fact, I saw you at Athens because I went to the Olympics. I had a boyfriend who was one of those brilliant people that say, I know, let's go to the Olympics for the entire... Wow. And we went to Athens. And I remembered it was only afterwards.

I thought, I saw her. I saw her. Anyway, I'm thrilled to have you on. And we're going to talk at length about this brilliant book you've written called The Fear Opportunity. Thank you. Which genuinely I found so inspiring. Yeah. And, yeah, I want to get onto that because it also sort of...

has a lot to do with your life and the sort of lessons that you've learned. Yeah. But I want to go back as well and talk about your origin story a bit, your Batman origin story. And you are a bit of a superhero, so it's appropriate. Oh, go on you. Go on. Well, look at these people, Victoria, in there at graduation. Oh, that's lovely. I miss my graduation actually from university because I was... Winning gold medals. No, I was actually at the European Championships.

and I had fallen off my bike at quite high speed and I was covered in cuts and bruises and pretty much stuck to the bed sheets in my hotel room. It's very average. Very average. Yeah, it wasn't my greatest moment. So I missed out on that. I wonder what university that is. We'll have to be rude and go and ask them.

How are you with people? Are you quite shy? Do you know what? I am an introvert that has learnt to behave in a... extrovert manner I think like I am someone who fundamentally would I would say is quite quite shy and I am quite happy in my own company and doing my own thing and sort of creating my own path yeah not trying to conform too much and yeah just a bit weird at times but I'm okay with that I'm okay with that weird is good

It is good. And, yeah, your childhood, this was in, is it Bedfordshire? Yeah, Bedfordshire, yeah. And it's Max and Pauline. Yes, that's correct. Is that your parents? And also, obviously, your twin brother Alex and your sister Nicola. Yes, that's right.

And I get the sense. I read your autobiography as well, which, by the way, you can still get on Amazon. It's a great read. So you should also get that book as well. I'm not saying that to you. Thank you. because you've obviously got copies all that. But that's a great read as well.

Tori, I just hit you. But you're talking that, and I get this really strong sense of, you know, just this defining relationship with your dad, which is so fascinating. Just I suppose how much you wanted to impress him. I did. I really wanted to make him proud. I really wanted to make my dad proud.

And then I realized I wanted to make my coaches proud. And then the country proud. And it was like escalating. expectation on delivery of my performance and I kind of allowed I think to become slightly overwhelming yeah and really more in control than maybe my happiness in many ways that kind of overwhelming urge to to deliver what's required of me in many ways there's this very poignant moment when you talk about I found it really I don't know really touched

me just you cycling furiously because you really bonded with your dad over cycling and I and I feel you kind of got passionate about cycling originally because it was a way to bond with him maybe that's exactly it I really felt like it was one of the few things that we truly had in common and you know if I didn't if I wasn't cycling and I wasn't competing I was like well what would my dad see in me like what would we talk about like there was really limited kind of experience and understanding other than the cycling world. So it really was like the one thing that pieced our relationship together.

And actually when I retired, I sometimes struggled to find things to talk about because usually you'd ask me about training and what, you know, what I'd been up to and all these things. And I really didn't know what else to speak about, which was a bit. Well, I wonder as well with certainly, you know,

men of your dad's generation as well, that would have been a great outlet for him. A hundred percent. Do you know what I mean? Because it's sort of like that's their escape. Yes. It's like their therapy. That is it. On the head, that is it.

Like my dad used cycling to support his own mental health, to give him freedom, to, you know, that was his out, 100% his outlet. He was quite good at it. so it gave him a sense of achievement, a sense of purpose, of routine, and a community, you know, finding your tribe in many ways. So it was definitely his therapy because, I don't, talking about your emotions and how you feel, it's definitely not something that he was particularly comfortable or accustomed to. Their cycling was his therapy.

And were you? When you were at school, because of this interest in cycling, which started pretty young, Yeah. You know, obviously, I suppose kids are getting into bands. And do you know what I mean? It's like, was there a sense of you feeling a bit other to the other kids? Yeah. I always felt like a little bit of an outcast.

I actually formed like this little group of friends at school and we were all kind of, we weren't in the in crowd, but we all kind of clung together as one. The girls were mostly very academic or, you know, they were excelling and therefore not cool. Yeah. or for myself it's like sport was my thing and pee wasn't cool so I was like okay so we all kind of found each other this little group of oddballs together but I don't I never I've never been in the in crowd ever I think I want to be in the in crowd actually but I've definitely never been in it do you know the older I get the more I think if you had been in the

in crowd I probably wouldn't be interviewing you on this podcast yeah I'd agree with you I agree with you I think the sacrifices I made and the choices that I made and the roots that I took definitely were the harder the harder ways yeah and therefore they wouldn't have necessarily been cool else shall I take the leaves you want to be raised on a tiny rabbit poo and you'll be used to this because obviously you have not one that small unfortunately I'm not to deal with a lot more than that usually can I just say this is the most embarrassing moment of life. Don't, don't. I forgot my poo bags and I'm picking up a poo using a cake wrapper

in front of an Olympic athlete. And Raymond's not embarrassed though, look at him. He's not, is he? Let's find a bin. You're used to this because you've got a dog and we're going to get onto your dog. I have to use two hands in a giant bag though to clean up after the dogs. We should just formally introduce your dog before we get back to what we're talking about. Your dog is called. Your dog is called Vala. V-A-L-A, V-A-L-A, V-A-L-A, Vala, or Val-Rica. Is Valra a Doberman? No, Val-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-W-E-Lah.

Oh, Belgian? Yeah, Belgian Shepherd. She's a malagator, a land shark, a fur missile, or all of those above. Are they sometimes used to, like, police? They are. They are, indeed. All her brothers work for the Hampshire Police, and she is a lady of leisureer. She's got the, she's got an easy out.

Victoria has just grabbed the lead. Yes. And what's weird is that he's never walked this past in his life. Oh, sorry. Slow down. No, he's being inspired. Ray, you're being walked by an Olympian. Do you know how special this is? He ran forward when I said that.

Did he? Did he? Yeah. Oh, look. It's a trot, really. Oh, this is good for him. This is what he's needed all along. Yeah.

You see, I think you're a good coach, love and boundaries. There we are. Not like the old ice skating was. No, no. I'd be a compassionate coach. Yes. So going back to your child with Victoria, it seems like, you know, it's very clear. It's becoming clear that you're very good at cycling.

Yes. No one's in any doubt about that. And, but I also get the sense that you were so committed to doing it, partly to please your dad and things. And there were sweet moments where, I don't think people around maybe didn't realize how good you are. There was this moment when a teacher said to you, oh, you cycled at the weekend, that's good.

How far did you go? Didn't you say 50 miles? 50 miles? And they were like, do you mean 15, Victoria? 15. 15. And I was like, no, 5.0. I don't think they believe me, to be honest.

They didn't believe me. They thought I was telling fibs. I'd be showing off, though. I wouldn't be. I'd be going, but you're not that. Are you not? No, I'd be like, oh gosh. She doesn't trust and believe.

Leave me. Oh no. There is a reason I'm on all of the teams. You know, there is a reason why I want to be in every single sports team going. Yeah. And so when you were getting incredibly good at this, there's this moment where, and I think this is, we'll get on to this when we talk about the fear of opportunity or book, but there's, I think, what is a really significant moment in your life,

when your friends were in you and want you to go out for the weekend. or something. Yeah. Go to the cinema or go to a party. And what happened? And I'm like, I'm racing, I can't. So I felt like I was missing out. Oh, sorry, sorry, Raymond.

Felt like I was missing out. He's checking his pee mail. He's got to respond to a few pee mails on the route. That one's not worth, just flagged that one, but not worth responding to. No. But it seemed like the reason that you didn't go out, there was a part of you that didn't want to let your dad down.

Oh, yeah. I mean, also, you know that you've only got one chance at this when you're an athlete. I always thought, well, there'll be plenty of time to go out and do all those things when I'm older, when my career is over. You thought that, and that's what I mean, is I think that's a fork in the road moment in your story. Ah. Had you gone out? Yeah. Because what that's about is a decision you made.

Yes. You prioritised present discomfort. Yes. for your future. You prioritised your future over your presence. Yeah and actually one of the one of the things in the book is like weighing up sort of challenge or suffering and reward and how you balance that and there was a there's a lovely professor we spoke to Irini Fleury who is like a developmental psychologist the University College London and she was saying it pushing your boundaries and testing yourself and knowing what you're what sort of discomfort you're

willing to put up with in order to head towards a reward and obviously I think I became aware of that very early on but the discomfort was necessary if you want to really excel yeah and my dad worked very hard he wasn't necessarily a natural athlete I mean he wasn't very tall he wasn't really strong but he always gave a hundred percent like he worked hard he trained hard and he got the best out of the materials that he had and so I think I very much wanted to emulate that yeah I could see he was he trained and pushed himself like two unbelievable limits like there was never oh Joe I've had enough it was always

like more harder stronger like suffering was was part of his sort of behaviour and makeup and I could see what he could gain from it and I could see perhaps that was you know that was necessary can you see how long it takes to walk Raymond because I always say he really treats it it It's like, you know when you see King Charles after the coronation going through the crowd? That's how he treats leaves. Every leaf, yes. Oh, how do you do?

Thank you. Yes. But you know, I read recently that it's that's the equivalent, especially to a small dog like that who's kind of sniff motivated. That's the equivalent of kind of, you know, a long half an hour walk to him. Oh, wow. Yes. Yeah.

But I appreciate it's not the pace you're used to going out. I appreciate you being so tolerant and patient. That's all right. So during all this period when you've sort of made this commitment, you're like, right, I'm going to be serious about this. Yeah. And you start, you go to university, as you say, it was Northumbria, wasn't it?

Yes. And then that's when you really started getting into cycling. You get this succumbent at, is it British cycling? Is it British cycling? Is it their sort of head to course? quarters or something. So yeah I get invited to try out for the team in Manchester the British cycling yes yeah at the world-class performance plan so they actually he's irritating me he's taking too long now oh do you want me to walk you want me to no

because I can carry him you know I just feel bad that he's slowing us down that's all right I mean you may you can't just leave all these P-mails unread you can't the inbox is full I'm so great for you've got a dog so you understand whereas I have Some people who don't have dogs and you can see they're thinking, I thought this is meant to be a dog walk. The thing is, we are, at the moment, we are serving Raymond's needs. This is his walk, isn't it? He's enjoying himself.

I love that. He's having a lovely time. We're serving his needs. Do you know, when I interviewed SuperVet, he said, I talked about being an owner, dog owner. He said, oh, I don't say owner. He said, we're not owners. We're guardians of their soul.

Oh, I love that. I burst into tears. Oh, I love that. I love that because I... And then my Catholic friend said, dogs can't have souls. I said, how dare you? No, they can. I think it's a privilege to have a pet and to have a rapport with an animal.

I don't know if you, you know, to have that sort of connection. I think it's a privilege. I do. Yeah. I mean it doesn't seem like... They add so much. They add so much to our lives and you just hope that you add, listen, by giving Raymond a little bit of time to check his females, I hope that I'm giving him something of what he needs. But if you want me to pick him up, I can carry him. As long as you're okay with it.

Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. I hope you don't tell you some way, but for an athlete, you're quite laid back and tolerant. I've done my hard work. I don't need to do it anymore, do I. No, but you know, I always think Olympians will be very, come on now, we've got to do this. To myself in the gym, maybe, in my head, like, come on, Victoria, you can do this. But not to other people.

Right. Mostly because I've been on the receiving end of that way too much. So I would hate to be, I would hate to be described as a bully. Oh, yeah. I don't want to be that. So? Yes. The kind of journey begins proper with cycling for you.

And you went over to Switzerland. Yes. And that was pretty tough. Is it sort of an elite cycling academy? It's like, funnily enough, it's because they couldn't be asked to coach us. Because I was a novice and they were struggling to find a suitable coach in the UK for the team. They were like, well, send the novices over to Switzerland and someone else can deal with them. quite frankly.

So myself were one of the other members of the team. We were sent over there so that we didn't hold the rest of them back. Really? Yeah. So we got coached out there instead. But it was an incredible experience to sort of train with an international group. Yeah. Although the coached there was.

Yeah, he was tough. He sounds terrifying. Difficult to please. Yes, he was. He was. I really wanted to be his favourite, but I was far from it. Honestly, I couldn't do anything right out there. Why do you think he was like that with you?

I think he had issues. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. I think he had issues. He had some issues. Sorry. Do you think? We've got to go back.

We've missed something. Oh, there's a female. No. No. Rayman's checking his females. Oh. Another. See him with the brakes on then.

Full on resistance. No. Do you know what? There's a thing called stubborn Shih Tzu Syndrome. Is it? Okay. Where he just will point, like, well, we'll see it.

He'll just, suddenly stop and say now back into it though I could see him like leaning against the strain of the harness it's like no you've had experience with horses it's like a horse at a jump so so did you feel and I just mean in general when you were starting out that there was sort of an idea certainly at that time of what a female athlete should look like oh yeah and you weren't it no I was definitely too girly and too like slight feminine what's the word like somebody described me as oh diminutive imagine I was like wow that's so condescending but no like that's that's how that's how the

world I felt saw me like I'm not quite enough physically mentally or emotionally just not enough isn't it interesting you wouldn't say that about Maradona no he was pretty diminutive yeah yeah but that you know I always found like there was such an easy way to cast me into this kind of slightly pathetic damsel in distress in many ways and sometimes I used to be like maybe I aren't I'm not cut out for this maybe I'm not capable and they got me wrong I don't know there was a lot of doubt in my mind because I think I wasn't really accepted in many ways I wasn't I wasn't really pleasing the people that I wanted to please the coaching yeah the coaching And we're like, no.

I care how. Why are you wasting my time? Coaching you is a waste of my time. You haven't got it. Yeah. Was that? Well, they were obviously wrong, weren't they? Yeah, they were very wrong.

And actually some of them did apologise afterwards at later date, which I appreciate. Did one of them come up to you when you won your first goal medal and say, this is like Jerry Maguire, this is a great moment for you. I'm going to let you have it. Yeah, yeah. Sadly not. Yeah, yeah. I would have felt so happy.

Yeah. Yeah. I've waved it in their faces. Well, I was pleased. I mean, yeah, one of the coaches in question who had no time for me, zero time for me, when I won three world titles, first ever person to do something, came up and said, you know, I was wrong about you. And I was like, oh, wow, parakeets. Oh, yeah.

Up there. Do you see those often here? Yeah, yeah, you do. You see them more and more. Come on in this way. We're going this way. Come on, Ray. Yeah, that's so cool.

Came up to me and said, I was sorry, Miss Victoria, I was wrong about you. And I was like, I appreciate that. And I will graciously accept that from you, that apology, that you were wrong about me. Did you feel in that, because it struck me, and again, I hope it's changing now, but it always struck me as quite a, I don't know, like a thrusting male world. Oh, it was. Yeah, there was a real lack of women in positions of power. or in positions to have the ability to be protectors

and to be understanding of the requirements in many ways. There was just a lack of just female understanding. I always used to wonder when some of these individual, these strong alphas went home. I was like, how do they treat their wives and their mothers and their daughters? How do they converse with them? Do they talk to them like they talk to me?

I hope not. I hope not. And how, like for example, in that training environment? Yeah. Did you ever cry? Oh, yeah. All the time I was to go back to my room and just be like, oh God, why am I putting myself through this? This is terrible.

No one believes in me except my dad, who's furiously in my corner and my brother. And I was like, do what I do? I not, maybe I don't have it. Gosh, well, maybe they're right and I'm wasting everyone's time. That's so annoying and my time. but I did used to get upset about it all. I mean, it would have been nice to have a stronger self-confidence, really, during those times. But I honestly thought I was a fraud at any minute they were going to realise

they'd made a horrible mistake in choosing me. That's how I felt. Did you even feel that, say at Beijing, which was your first rule, you know... Well, I told my parents not to come and watch the Olympics, because it's unlikely I was going to get selected for the 10. team. This is for Beijing. Yes.

And we should say this was, I think was it 2008? Yes. And you did more than get selected for the team. Yeah, one. Pretty convincingly. Yeah. You want a gold medal. And I wonder at that moment, you know, surely on the podium, you think, oh, okay.

Okay. Yeah. No, I can do. I think I can do this now. Yeah. But it took until those major, like, major successes for me to finally accept that. Like, actually I think maybe I do deserve a chance at this and to be here amongst these are other cycling grates.

Like I'm, yeah, I think I can do this, but it didn't. I always underestimated myself until the moment I actually became like World and Olympic champion, always. What's it like on that podium? Because it feels a bit weird. It's like a sort of a bit of a weird old ceremony, like with the flags and the music and there's other things going on. And I don't know.

They all seem a bit weird, though, so I know. They don't even, they don't really feel very real. It feels like, I mean, it's pageantry. isn't it? And that's not the, it's an amazing experience listening to the National Anthem, I mean, if you relate to it. And it, but it's more like a relief for that you've actually, the race has done and you've been successful and it's a huge sense of relief in that moment. Just a little pause there, Raymond, not sure what for, but look around. But yeah, it's a weird feeling. And it's a feeling that a lot of athletes speak about. And it is, you know, representation

your country and being successful is a huge honour and something to be proud of but you do someone to step back and go what is this all about what's this all about riding around in circles really really fast the thing I always hate is is it the Karen when the funny man's on the motorbike get out of the way yeah no he's helping being it's not because making it about himself there were two Olympic athletes and you steamed in yeah stupid tiny motorbike and you're not even like you're powered by petrol or electric you're not even using your own physical force you're cheating cheat there seems like there's a lot of psyching out in that sport like any sport sorry um your harness is come and done rain oh is your hi is it come and done

or is it just loose at the front there no it's okay we're all right we're all right um i he's not he's not on the bike now oh sorry we don't need these as attention to do so Okay, okay. The garments. Yeah, sorry. He doesn't need to be aerodynamic. It doesn't look very aerodynamic. I must see it looked a bit loose there, catching some...

But it seems to me that with cycling there is, like any sport at that level, there's always going to be that sort of psyching out, isn't there? There was something someone once said to you, which it's the sort of comment that I can so see why that stuck with you. Someone said, you'll always be... Oh, yeah, one of the... Yeah, so it's Canadian... athlete who I trained with in Switzerland actually and Lorraine and she said to me

yeah you're you'll only ever you won't was it I'm Queen hang on let me think what she said was you'll only ever be a Princess Victoria and that she was Queen or something and it was really weird and kind of the biggest thing for me is I thought we were pals and you know when you're racing against someone on track obviously it's competition head to head. But when you step off the track, that doesn't exist anymore. So for somebody to say something that was like trying to be cutting, after the race is said and done and I have, you know, I've lost,

I just think, what a mean thing to do? And especially from someone who you kind of thought you had a friendship or kind of a rapport with, yeah, you'll only ever be a princess. But that's an interesting thing, isn't it, that competitive thing? Do you think there was a part of you, looking back, that maybe didn't have the same mentality as a lot of those... Yeah, I'm a horrible competitor. I'm horrible.

I love training. You know, for me, I'm not the only one, but we're rare. I really love training. The idea of training is I am faster than I was yesterday, or I've lifted two and a half KGs more than I lifted yesterday, and I am stronger and better. And you can plot your progress and being an athlete allows you to plot your improvement. You think, wow, I'm improving, I'm getting better.

And that drives me and I love that feeling. And the competition is a necessary evil in order to secure my place on the team for another 12 months. So I did it because I was good at it, but not that I got any sense of like enjoyment from it. I absolutely hate it. I have to put on a really big act in that competitive environment because it's really not a bit of me. Whereas some athletes love to be out there like showy, look how good I am, let me show you my athletic prowess. Or, you know, I was told I had to celebrate more when I won. To make more of a, like for the crowd, to sort of make more of an effort to, whew, which felt really awkward.

What did you do then? Like just be hands in the air and like, yay, riding in hand-handed. Whoa. You know, like, I don't know, I was told I had to celebrate more. So I had to start doing that, which was really embarrassing. It didn't really feel very natural. Yay. Whoa.

Was that convincing? Woo! Not really. But it seems like obviously you were working alongside athletes like Chris Hoy. Yeah. And I imagine he strikes me as the kind of person who is just has that unshakable sort of self-belief. Yeah. Is that right?

I think, yeah, he is. I mean, he does have, I mean, he's incredibly good at his job. Yeah. And very intimidating. He's a lovely, lovely, kind man. But I think, you know, he's tall and he's got massive quads. He's built. He looks like, yeah, he looks like an impressive athlete.

You know, you look at him go, wow. He's just so, he looks like the thing or something. It's so, he looks, I mean, yeah. He looks incredible. Yeah. And I think, you know, he had a confidence in himself and his ability. And he trained so incredibly hard that I think he was, people were intimidated by his work.

Yeah. You know, he was a difficult person to be and you couldn't underestimate him. Of course. You know, no one ever said to him, you know, you don't have the right mentality to be a champion, I'm pretty sure. You know, that was, he is a very natural competitor and I think he really came alive and thrived in that environment. Right, so that was something that wasn't natural to you and you have to learn.

No, it's like, be more Chris Hoy. Okay, I'll try. I'll try. A bit more Chris Hoy. Yeah. Yeah. toy. Yeah, because he's what we want.

You know, he's like our real competitor. Yeah. I'm like, ah, yeah. But it was interesting that with Beijing, it feels like you got to that kind of flow state. Yeah. You sort of, going into that race, you did have, I feel like you had the right mentality.

I think I did. Like, I did. And the thing is, I was also, the whole team was doing so well. And everyone had come along so far. And everyone's performance, were on point and it was just a really incredible to be part of it like you felt everyone else's physical condition was almost lifting your own everyone was really coming into like the best

form of their lives and there was such it feels like there was such a buzz growing about british cycling then because of all the investment oh yeah and the lottery money they worked out how to spend the money to make a difference that's what happened it took a while but they got there and i think the the team were very confident with how we were going to approach it and the the efforts that we'd taken to sort of prepare ourselves and the training was, you know, had all been very successful. So it was like, we called it the golden era of cycling to ourselves, the golden age. You were the golden girls.

We were part of it. And it was an incredible time for all of the athletes involved where we turned up and it'd be like, don't worry, guys, we're going to win some gold medals here. Well, you would and you'd be asked to bring your gold medals to things like the GQ Awards. Yeah, yeah. You know. Oh, yeah. I remember that picture of you when you posed on the, I think.

was the observer and it was such an incredible photo. Oh, thank you. But you know, I wonder, because it was you naked on this bike. And it was kind of an homage to that Lance Armstrong famous face day. So I thought it was witty. I loved it.

But I thought it was interesting that I just wondered whether walking into training the next day. Is that the kind of thing where you felt suddenly, was there a reaction to that? Was anyone like, there was a reaction to that? And I think a lot of, I think I had, I will not name the person, but somebody on the team said I was just a poster girl and I wasn't interested in actually achieving anything.

Thank you. Thank you. You're on my team, I think. I'll just like to remind you that. I would just have, for those moments, that's when you need on your, just have a little ringtone, goal. Yeah, yeah. And you just play every time anyone says that. So the thing is I took lots of different opportunities that came my way. And yeah, it was a bit of a risky picture.

I mean, I was naked. Well, almost naked. They did actually airbrush out some pants. I was wearing some pants, just so you know. Yeah, some, I was wearing your pair of pants. I don't know if they'd be so hard on a guy for doing that. No, I don't think so. But my, you know, like my physique was, I was in good shape and actually.

Listen, that's a picture to have. Yeah, like that's, that was me in my peak physical condition. And I have like a permanent and beautiful memento of that. not actually like the whole concept of strong bodies being attractive was still quite far far away from that sort of acceptance if you know what I mean like even I remember being on some photo shoots that I did and quite glamorous and they'd airbrush my muscles out and I'd be like I've worked really hard for those don't airbrush those out don't smooth me out why did they do those because they're not feminine yes like my I remember having a backless

top on and it was like a halterneck type thing and my back was out and my back was quite musly and it was like they smoothed it all right out and I was like when I saw the photo in print I was like no why did you do that because obviously it was deemed I'm feminine but I see you can't win because in the cycling world you're deemed as too feminine oh yeah and then when you're in a magazine she's a bit muslin yeah and it's interesting because I actually got some really bad press from female Sadly, female journalist saying that I was over-glamourising the sport. And it's like, no, I'm taking opportunities that maybe involve being a little bit glamorous to forward my own opportunities in life.

You know, the profile is important. I can, you know, I'm having the opportunity to do these things. Why not? Why should I not have to? But yeah, over-glamourising was kind of criticised. I was like, but I like being glamorous as well. And also, the word over-glamourising is doing a lot of heavy lifting, because what it actually means is don't bring femininity into sport.

It's a male area. That's actually what that's saying. What they mean by glamour is you're making it too female. Women are allowed to take part, but you can't take up space. And I feel that was saying stop taking up space. So I'll take up some more, please. With no clothes, with absolutely zero clothes on, watch this. So I want to just, we will get onto the fear of opportunity now

because I'm obsessed by this book. I loved it so much. Oh, good. I just want to round things off here with 2012. It just feels like... It was so much pressure and expectation. I just wanted to like hide away from the world and I can't say, why do I put myself through this?

I want the world to swallow me up. Can I just hibernate and come out in like September of 2012 when the Olympics is done, please, please? But you had no choice. Yeah, no choice. It was one of the hardest moments. Do you know what applies to you? There's a very famous incident that. incident that happened when

Diana was apparently getting slight cold feet for reasons we won't go into about her wedding. Yeah. And her sister famously said to her the night before, too late now ducks, your face is on the teetail. Yes. And I feel your face was on the teetail. My face was

definitely. And my naked body actually. He sat on a bike. But yeah, no. I, yeah, it was on the teetow. There was like billboards and like magazine like advertisements it was everywhere and everyone was asking me so are you going to win you're going to say I'm going to try my absolute hardest to do so but I can't

guarantee anything but it was a lot it was the last few days for the Olympics oh my goodness I can't tell you how hard that was just trying to sleep trying to be like optimistic and positive not going down any kind of negative like doubting conversations or self-talk it was really hard really really hard and such a relief when it was over oh my goodness such a huge relief and you want gold again yes and i wonder as well with that kind of thing i know and you know you've been very open about this that it had become difficult for you the cycling world oh yeah for various reasons i was done and also i feel i feel you were quite isolated in that world yeah at the time so i did feel

very isolated and I felt like oh he wants to go that way okay Rayne he wants to go this well actually Ray no we want to take a picture over here come on I'll pick him up because he's being lazy oh I think he said that it's had enough no way you do what we say oh bless but yeah I feel that was sort of it didn't feel like the most welcoming atmosphere to be honest I definitely felt for my own personal sanity that I couldn't have stayed in anymore like dealing with the atmosphere and the personalities not all of them some of them at work was hard much harder than the physical training and I just couldn't do any more of it I needed to get out and try

something new I didn't feel physically done like as in I feel still felt like I could have had another four years or an Olympic cycling me but it wasn't wasn't to be it wasn't to me and looking back at that now, we're now going to talk about your fantastic book. Thank you. It's relevant to a lot of your career actually. Yes. Because, you know, this book, The Fear Opportunity, it sort of is about how we should

sort of lean into fear in some way. Yes. You know, instead of running from it, which is our modern instinct, people talk about their anxiety and all that kind of stuff. But what we, our problem is that we are constantly running away from it. Yeah. I feel like I've been very lucky to be given some very unusual opportunities since retiring from cycling and some of the most unusual things and or perhaps some of

the most dangerous things I've done or perhaps the least like the least understood things that I have got involved with have been some of the most rewarding and I feel sorry look at the babies look at the tiny babies oh my god can you see the little ones Oh, they're little, but those are littler. Oh, we better not go too close. I don't want mum's to get angry. What I like about that mother goose is that she's like one of those old Coronation Street women.

She's like, you don't come bloody near my children. Yeah. I'll lamp you. She's got that energy. Yeah, she's looking. She's literally old mother goose. Old mar goose. Oh, my goose.

Bye-bye goose. So sweet. Oh my gosh. So, yes. So this book. you it's based on this premise yes that actually leaning into fear and embracing the unknown yes is one of the most kind of powerful life-changing things we can do and you talk about things like it's not just about winning gold medals of Beijing

obviously it's about just you know I've been doing some of the exercises oh I'm glad the take away so yeah fear of change and fear of the unknown or fear of death, lots of different things. And I really wanted the book to be super accessible. Like I wanted it to apply to, you know, not being an Olympic champion or climbing Mount Everest or doing all these things, but I wanted it to be helpful to people just overcoming their own personal barriers because I think with the passing of my twin brother, Alex, I really had a sort of a sense of the importance of making the most of the time we have because we don't

know how long we have. Life is super precious and it's shorter than we think sadly in many cases and we should definitely shouldn't put barriers and restrictions up to what we could be capable of because some of the wildest things I've done taking up horse racing have been some of the most beautiful and healing things I've done. I mean I love horses I've got a horse that I pet horse at home I wish I could have more if I had more money I'd have loads and loads of horses but being introduced to that world and that experience gave me a whole new tribe of people to hang out with and I love it. And we should say what that experience was. Because it's one of the amount of things.

Basically, you were approached by a company saying, how about this Victoria? What did they say? They were like, do you want to train to become an amateur jump jockey in 12 and a half months at the Charlton Festival? And I was like, wow, that sounds interesting. And everyone was like, don't do it. That's so dangerous.

You're going to hurt yourself. And the press was like, she's going to kill herself. she's going to hurt somebody else. She needs saving from herself. Because it hadn't been done before. And you'd never been on a horse? Well, I'd sat on a pony and be led at the beach as a kiddie. No, I've never had a riding lesson.

I had no idea about how to ride, steer, balance on a horse. And do you think, I mean, obviously being an Olympic athlete makes it you more suited to that kind of endeavour. Because you've got discipline. And also, like, physical awareness. Physical awareness, coachable, good motor skills, good course stability, lower leg strength, like lower body strength, like leg strength. But still, fucking frightening. Yeah, but also a big part of it. They're one of the biggest parts of it.

And I think that if I hadn't been from a background of strength and conditioning. Wow, crazy cyclists, crazy cyclists. Oh, goodness me. Too fast. The confidence of men. I know. I know. I know.

I know. hopefully yeah that was two slightly crazy cyclists going to too far little bit fast little bit too far children and yeah animals involved yeah so go on you'd yeah I never sat on a horse before so I had my first riding lesson 12 and a half months out from Cheltenham Festival and I said you know what guys before I sign any contracts to get involved with this campaign let me have a couple of weeks riding lessons and just see if it if it you know if I click or what works and I was just like oh my god this is terrifying and amazing I feel like sick but in a good

way I love it so that's interesting yeah I will get on to this because it's you felt sick but amazing yeah I would just feel sick but you you would say to me no you will feel amazing but you've got to lean into yeah is that what you would say to me yeah but it's also you know the the somatic the feelings that you have in your body you know like I feel a bit sick My palms are sweating. I feel a bit kind of uneasy. They're just, their responses to your body are having. But if you just, rather than look at them as threat, look at them as just like challenge. And actually the difference between excitement and fear is not, in terms of somatic reaction in way your body,

it's not that different. So it's very easy to say, this is terrifying. And that's because it's how my body feels and this is terrifying to, oh, this is really exciting. it's not actually a very big jump between those feelings. So when you're excited about something, you feel a bit sick, and you might feel a bit of a few like butterflies in their tummy. It's not actually dissimilar. It's just how you reference and label that feeling.

So is that about, oh, look at these big buggers. Oh, they came to see us, so that's okay. They've got a lot to say for themselves. They're like the British cycling. Let's take a picture of it. This is a lovely tree. Isn't it? Look at them.

Hello. Don't you sometimes? I know, again, this is something you talk about in the book, which I love, is how nature is so important. It is. And how, you know, one of the lessons I started doing, because, you know, no offence, but I'm not going to get on a horse soon

and I'm not going to be an Olympics. But what I can do, and I genuinely did this the other day after reading your book, will you be quiet, please? I thought, I'm going to say, make way to a different park. I don't know that sounds really silly. No, no, it doesn't.

It was, I hadn't been there before and I thought, oh maybe I'll just mix it up a bit. Yes. Just because it's an adventure. And a mini adventure, that's it. Does that sound like a weird? No, it sounds like a perfect thing to do. Like doing something that's outside of your normal comfort zone

or that gives you an opportunity to experience somewhere new. And going on an adventure doesn't have to be like hiking up a massive mountain or into the jungle and it has to be dangerous. and it has to be dangerous. It can just be something that doesn't necessarily fit comfortable with your normal routine and regime. And like taking a small step to doing different things, I mean like, oh, it's okay with that.

You might go and see another park and go, do you know what, I'm going to check that park out now because it actually wasn't that bad. It almost conditions us to sort of be more accepting of different scenarios or scenarios that perhaps challenge us or push us out of our comfort zone. And I want to talk about why zebras don't get ulcers. And we're going to do that, but I want to take a quick picture first if that's all right.

I really hope you love part one of this week's Walking the Dog. If you want to hear the second part of our chat, it'll be out on Thursday, so whatever you do, don't miss it. And remember to subscribe so you can join us on our walks every week.