Walking The Dog with Emily Dean - Zoe Lyons (Part Two)

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

We’re on Brighton Beach with Zippo the Jack Russell puppy - and his owner, the fabulous comedian Zoe Lyons. In this part of our chat, we catch up with what Zoe has been up to since we last spok...e - because she’s appeared on one of our favourite shows - SAS Who Dares Wins. Zoe tells us how dealing with her alopecia was one of her motivations for going on the show and what she made of her fellow contestant - Matt Hancock. Zoe also tells us about her tour Werewolf - which is all about navigating the exhausting and baffling road to happiness. You can find tickets and dates here at https://zoelyons.co.ukListen to Emily and Raymond’s first walk with Zoe from March 2021 here! Follow @zoelyonscomedy on Instagram Follow Emily: Instagram - @emilyrebeccadeanX - @divine_miss_emWalking The Dog is produced by Faye LawrenceMusic: Rich Jarman Artwork: Alice LudlamPhotography: Karla Gowlett  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Part 2 of Walking the Dog with Zoe Lyons and Zippo. Do go back and listen to Part 1 if you haven't already and do go and see Zoe live on tour in Werewolf. You can book your tickets via zoelions.co.uk. I'd also love it if you gave us a like and a follow so you can catch us every week. Here's Zoe and Zippo and Ruiway. I wanted to catch up Zoe with what you've been doing recently. I was so excited and I've not had a chance to discuss this properly. you, when I
Starting point is 00:00:31 realized that you were going to appear on one of my favourite shows, S-A-S, Celebrity S-A-S-Hus, Who-Dez? Winns, yeah. And imagine my delight. I mean, I binge that show anyway. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:46 And then one of the people whose company I enjoy most pops up on it. What made you decide to want to do that show? Because as a comic, you're often, presumably, offered gigs like this because comics guess what they're brilliant bookings yeah they deliver they do 50% of the entertainment work they do as a producer but what i can see why they wanted you
Starting point is 00:01:11 what made you want to do it well i knew they'd never had a comic on it have they not no they had prior to me they haven't i also i did it for certain selfish reasons too i was this post midlife crisis it was just after yeah i would say it was very much reverber we were suffering the aftershocks yeah there was still reverberations and I was also I had my alopecia was very bad at that point I had very little hair and I was really struggling with that at times and I'd done work where I'd worn wigs and I'd covered my head and I hadn't exposed it and I So, you know, I found it very challenging.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I found it really, really challenging. And there was a bit of me that thought, again, this is the sort of being not ridiculously hard on yourself, but most people wouldn't have thought this way. I thought, if I do that show, they can't wear anything on my head, I have to expose it, I have to get it out there. I had like a bandana on for the first 30 seconds,
Starting point is 00:02:23 then somebody pushed me in the river, and that went. And I went, oh, well, that's it. out there now and you're going to have to look at it I'm going to have to look at it we're all going to have to look at it and then if we think I'm going to own it and that's what I did and I found it again really really challenging but it did help me it helped me yeah it helped me get control of it get get not the better of it but I thought I'm you know it's not stopping me from doing anything and also I wanted to show as well that you know as a woman in their 50s
Starting point is 00:02:57 you can do hard stuff physically because I thought I bet they write me off they'd be like oh this old this bald old bird she'd be gone in a minute and I thought I bet they write me off and I like I like surprising people and you did pretty well yeah yeah I mean you kept going yeah until until it actually got to the point where you physically they would have been carrying you out of there in a box yeah I could actually walk Yeah. Because you've got trench foot. I got trench foot.
Starting point is 00:03:31 How were the 40s? Oh my God. He gets trench foot. I mean, what a ridiculous thing to do. Sometimes, you know, you think, what an amazing life. I've done some absolutely ridiculous things. I really have. Oh, look at that.
Starting point is 00:03:45 That's a happy couple. I'm having a little sweet. Having a romantic moment. Oh, that's nice. Two women walking past and miked up carrying their dogs going, oh, that's nice. How did you find Matt Hancock? As I... Because he was a contestant.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Yeah. What I find, but I've met quite a few politicians, the interesting bunch, they're really fascinating. He was like Teflon. I thought nothing sticks to you, does it? It just slides off. I thought, you know, because there was all that, you know, questionable distribution of PPE contract, shall we say,
Starting point is 00:04:34 which we've worded it without getting legally challenged. And yeah, I sort of, I had a chat with him one day about like trying to sort of touch on the subject of, you know, and within 30 seconds he was telling me about his book coming out. And I was like, wow, I don't think you get it. And there was a bit of me that was really aviose. I was like, can you imagine being that pebble-like, impenetrable, pebble-like, and feel, because I question everything I do.
Starting point is 00:05:15 I'm like, these are right knickers, right socks? I mean, I question absolutely everything, you know. Clearly he hadn't questioned any of his choices or disquality. none of it. Absolutely none of it. And I thought, wow. And I was slightly envious. I was like, God, I wish I was a, wish I'd gone to private school as a white boy. It must be amazing. Because none of this is, none of it has, as, um, affected your train of thought. None of it. And I think he thought he was going to become a big TV star after that. Because he did that and then he did, um, I'm a celebrity.
Starting point is 00:05:56 I'm a celebrity. And the thing is, a bit of insider info. If you do SAS, you're not supposed to do the other show for a while. You're not supposed to. It's in your contract, or at least it was in my contract. And he either disregarded that or... How extraordinary. You're at Hancock disregarding the rules.
Starting point is 00:06:13 Exactly that. And I thought, wow, okay. In fact, even when we were on the bus, like in SAS, he said at one point to us, you know, because you wouldn't do celebrity, This is the one to do, isn't it? You know? And then a week later, when we got back, it was like, oh, he's in the jungle.
Starting point is 00:06:33 I think he told him, is that some mistruth or a bending of, oh, who would have guessed it? It's fascinating, absolutely fascinating. But like I say, there is a bit, you look at behaviour like that, and there is a bit of you that absolutely envies it. Because he's in, God, I wish I could be an absolute dick. Well, do you know what's interesting, Zoe? I think... Sorry, look at the dog. He's going to sleep in his bag.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Oh, don't. We don't want to wait you up, darling. We'll let you sleep longer. Look, he's asleep in his bag. I think what's fascinating about that is that, you know, you hear people talking an awful lot, and I think it's become a very recent, tied up with the slight self-help culture
Starting point is 00:07:16 and, let's be honest, the narcissism of Instagram, which we're all involved in. Yeah. But this idea of, I don't care what people think, how empowering it is not to care what people think. And you think, no, actually, just say why, that means you're a sociopath. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you don't care what other people think, then you are.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Then you're mentally unwell. Yeah. And that's fine. Yeah. But you need to know that that's not normal. Whereas we're normalising. We're using that as something to aspire to. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:46 This goal of don't care what people think, do it anyway. You do you, babe. That's probably what Matt Hancock had on his fridge. you have one of those magnets you do you babe yeah it's amazing you got you got this you got this babe
Starting point is 00:08:04 you got this hon yeah but we're seeing it all over the place aren't we we seeing that behaviour all over the place you know with the likes of Trump and mask and all of those and it's bizarre but I was really impressed just to go back to SAS
Starting point is 00:08:19 I've got to be honest OI I watched it for you thank you but a little part of me watched it Because it turns out angry men shouting, angry, let's be completely honest it, hench men, yelling, you're useless, you piece of shit. Turns out that's my kink. How funny. It's my thing.
Starting point is 00:08:43 I talk about that in my latest talk about. Yeah, because we were like, wasn't it all for being shouted up by those big men? And I went, no, I quite liked it. Not, I mean, Billy, the, one of the sergeant, the, you know, director, he's got the most beautiful eyes. Oh, yeah. He's got stunning eyes. Billy's blues? Oh, Billy's blues are just, they're quite something.
Starting point is 00:09:11 They really are quite something, you know. And, yeah, didn't mind that at all. Didn't bother me. Didn't bother me. It's weird, isn't it? But I felt you came across and, you know, you've obviously talks about how vulnerable you are and there's... But you do have a real steely resolve, I think, because I saw you in that, you never lost it. You know how you've got the one?
Starting point is 00:09:44 There's always the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't that person. No, no. Also, you've got to, as a grown-up, you've got to go... I'm not actually at war and I've chosen to be here.
Starting point is 00:10:00 You know. I did get here in a Lincoln Town car. This is, you know, let's get it in perspective, shall we? Let's get it in perspective. But that's not to say that it wasn't absolutely brutal because it was. It was really brutal. But it was sort of making me laugh how brutal it was because I was like, wow, this is really, and involved, you know?
Starting point is 00:10:28 It's really immersive. And not easy to make it. And then there's a bit of you that sort of hats off, you're going, well, hats off, because it's not easy to produce a show that is this immersive. Yeah. It's hard.
Starting point is 00:10:40 It's hard. And they do a really good job. That's so interesting. Well, I was so excited and thrilled to be able to watch you on that. And that's very proud of you. Oh, thank you. I was super fit at the time as well. I was like, I really trained hard.
Starting point is 00:10:56 I bought a 20 kilo weighted vest and I walked up and down home floors here with it on. People must have thought it was insane. I used to go out and wear loads of clothes so it was hot, I'd get hot, and bought this 20 kilo weighted vest. It was actually so heavy I couldn't get it on. I had to lie on the floor to get it on and sort of roll into it and then walk up and down here with it on.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Yeah. Did you bond with Garris Gates at that? as well. He was lovely. Was he nice? Really lovely. Both the Gareths, Gareth Gates and Gareth Thomas. Really lovely.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Yeah. And then, you know, there are other people that are more challenging. You don't need to say who they are, because I could tell from watching it. Yeah, yeah. You know, more challenging. But I would say you're someone who's very easy to get along with and very liked. Thank you. I'm interested in people.
Starting point is 00:11:52 then that helps, isn't it? Because you know what it's like, you do meet, you know, particularly in the biz of show, you do meet people who aren't the least bit interesting other people.
Starting point is 00:12:04 They couldn't give a hoot about anybody else. They genuinely couldn't. You know, they would never ask you a question. They would never ask you a question or inquire as to what you've done with your day
Starting point is 00:12:16 or what you do for a living or, you know, there was somebody on that show that I did, the SAS, they were so into themselves, so egotistical, and you didn't meet people like this, you know. It's so incredibly dull, so dull. Oh my God, ask a question.
Starting point is 00:12:38 For the love of God, ask a question. Inquire, be curious. Yeah. Question yourself, you could be wrong. You know, you might be wrong about me. I could be wrong about you. It's just, I find it. really interesting really interesting well I was thrilled that you ended up
Starting point is 00:12:59 taking part in that yeah it was a huge moment for me thank you and it it worked for me it it did its I went in with a purpose and it and it worked for me and you mentioned your alopecia so and when I was a bit shocked because one of the SOS instructors said at one point D S I'm sorry to get in there right now yeah they put this black hood on you and then they take it off and they take you into the room and I he said for bad hair day he said oh my blimey you what's going on with your hair you're having a bad headache and I rush I felt so protective of you and angry watching that and then it was interesting how within a few minutes I thought no she's kind of all right with it and this is okay in this
Starting point is 00:13:44 context in this context is absolutely fine because you you know there is a very different sense of humour within the services they are seeing they have done, you know, harrowing things. They have seen harrowing things. And they have a very different sense of humour. And you have to understand that. And their sense of humour is built on, they respect you if you can take a joke, if that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Yeah. Yeah. No, I get it. I once did a gig in a barracks to a load of officers. And I died so badly. But I stayed on the stage and I did my stage. time and it got funnier and funny because I was dying so badly. And I, you know, and then when I came off stage, one of them came up to me,
Starting point is 00:14:31 went, well done. We managed to bottle off Jim Davison. And he went, well, and I thought, no, that's what this is. I can't take this personally. No. These guys, these women and guys have seen some awful things. They've been through some awful things. You take it, you know, you can't take that personally. There was another really funny incident which you talk about in your stand-up
Starting point is 00:15:00 when you went on Lorraine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you were, I think you might have been publicising your tour, were you? I was, yeah, and I was talking about alopecia. I was wearing a wig at the time, a wig, and I was talking about the alopecia. Lorraine is so smart.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Love Lorraine. Everybody loves Lorraine. She is brilliant. think I want to be Lorraine. Because she's just wonderful and she's such a good broadcaster. And she knows exactly what she was doing. And she said, yeah, it looks great. Today's her.
Starting point is 00:15:30 And I went, it's a wig, Lorraine. But she knew what she was doing. But I thought I'm going to use that as a, you know, it's very, she's so great. But also, when you mentioned this video went up on social media and she, she liked it and she liked it and pointed out, didn't she? Yeah. She's so, yeah, as you say, she's smart. And how are you?
Starting point is 00:15:50 feeling about all that at the moment. Fine. I mean, I have... My hair is predominantly grown back. I've got a few patches. I'm missing quite a bit at the back, but I can cover it. It's starting to grow back. She says, I just pulled her hair out. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:16:07 I love having my hair. I mean, I... It's windy, then. I'm having to wear a hat, not because I'm bald. It looks great, sorry? Yeah, but because my hair gets in my eyes now. And I never take it for granted, and I'm so grateful, because it doesn't always come back for people.
Starting point is 00:16:25 I suppose that would make you not take it for granted quite a lot, wouldn't it? Oh, I love my hair. Yeah. I love it. Sometimes I berate it for being a bit dry, and then I'll go, oh, it's fine, you're there. You're lovely. I love, you know, I'm just so grateful that I've had this turnaround with it. I do have little patches.
Starting point is 00:16:44 I find ways of covering them. I get little hair pieces, and I stick you. them on but you'd never know and then make a party if I do telework they're asking my advice for stuff like where do you get always think oh they're good I've got a few because it's amazing how common this is as well and all that stuff when you think back to when you were younger and yeah you were you know you had alopecia and presumably all you could do then was internalize it and feel shame and just yeah mortified about it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I was so uncomfortable in my skin as a kid.
Starting point is 00:17:21 I think a lot of kids are, but I was bald and gay. I mean, it's not a great kicking off point, is it? In the 80s as well, you know, which weren't, there wasn't a particularly tolerant decade, let's be honest. No. For the bald gay kid at school. You know, with the weird accent, because my accent never fitted where I lived. So. Your show Werewolf is touring throughout April and May, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:18:01 And I want to hear a bit more about it because I love the idea is, it's sort of the opposite to a load of this stuff we're told on social media, which is like embrace the best version of yourself. Warwolf is the opposite of that. The idea was born out of her conversation I had with a friend who was telling me about the rubbish that she has to read. on LinkedIn and somebody's written, remember that every day is another opportunity
Starting point is 00:18:30 to be a better version of yourself. And I just thought, it is not for me. I thought I'm actually keeping in a much worse version. I think that's why we were in so much conflict a lot of the time as humans. There's big business in being told that you're failing all the time, isn't there?
Starting point is 00:18:50 There's huge money to be made out of a population that feels they should be doing better for themselves. That's not to say that, of course, I believe in exercise and I believe in healthy eating and all of that. But so much pressure to be so productive and be more and, you know, achieve, achieve, achieve, achieve. It's exhausting sometimes. And do it all whilst living in a place that looks like a hotel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Because, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And basically you've also got to live in somewhere that doubles up as an immaculate advertising film set every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the other thing. All these pressures we put on ourselves where it's like because we're being monitored and we're essentially living in the Truman Show now, it's like if you put a picture of me and Rayan pyjamas, like, oh, notice the thread hanging off your pajamas. It's crazy now.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Yeah. Isn't it sad? Yeah. You sound like Donald Trump, very sad. It's very sad, man. It's very sad. It's the biggest sad I've ever felt. So this show was sort of about unleashing the worst side of yourself.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Yeah, well, I talk about sort of confronting my ego and all of that. But do you know what the show was, really, for me, I was struggling quite badly with probably menopausal symptoms. I was really, really feeling it, really feeling lack of motivation, lack of direction, disassociation, all of those things. And I think that's because, you know, when you start doing comedy or something like that, you have to be so self-driven. You have to be so motivated. It doesn't, you've got to keep going.
Starting point is 00:20:45 And I think in life, you know, I sort of liken it to being fired out of a canon. you've got all of that propulsion behind you initially when you're starting out doing something when you're young, you know, like, yeah, come on! And then, gradually, over time and with age, gravity starts to become the greater force and your cannonball starts to drop a little bit. And I really struggled with, yeah,
Starting point is 00:21:13 that lack of motivation and that lack of desire to get back on stage. And I thought, if I don't actually do something about this, If I don't do something counter to this, I'm in danger of slipping away and disappearing. So I forced myself to, you know, put a show together, get out there, go on tour. And that's a little bit about, like, Werewolf as well. It's like that sort of animal within, that drive within. I'm so glad I did.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Because my audience is a lovely. I'm so glad you did. Yeah, and I'm actually really having fun with it. and it's um i take support with me so i'm not on my own so i've recognized that if i'm on my own for too long the wheels come off so don't do that so we make it easier for yourself so have support with you that's nice just another bit of human contact in your day lovely and then i've made it a really nice tight hour of pretty tight jokes and i really like it i really enjoy performing that So I found a way of, you know, making it work for myself.
Starting point is 00:22:24 I'm so glad. And I'm so glad that you decided to be a comedian. Oh, thank you. And not play the maid. Yeah. And whatever part it was that you kept getting it being given. Yeah. You know, whenever I watch you do stand-up, Zoe,
Starting point is 00:22:40 what I'm really struck by is your material's brilliant and you're so funny, but you're also really warm. I think it can be hard that for a stand-up to get both, you know? Yes, yeah. It's something that people mention to me an awful lot, so it must be true. Yeah, so I'm glad of that. Well, I'm not taking the compliment. How are you, are you getting better at that, or have you always been okay at?
Starting point is 00:23:04 No, I'm getting better at that. Yeah, no, I am getting better at that. I respected the way you took that compliment. Thank you. I've looked because I'm yes because you know it's well it's important to acknowledge those things isn't it because I think because we do
Starting point is 00:23:19 we are we you know like you say we live in a world where you're constantly if you're constantly comparing and contrasting the easy route then is to neg yourself and oh I fall into that trap frequently but I try and get out of it I try and drop a rope
Starting point is 00:23:35 and so you have to say I am good at that and I have achieved something and I'm able to do this. I'm not able to do everything, but I'm able to do this. Do you know the other thing I think is that I think it's also about learning that when you accept a compliment, it's a form of generosity. Yes, yeah, it's a kindness, isn't it, from somebody else that, you know. Because otherwise you're rejecting that person. They're saying, I've got a little gift for you and you're going, no thanks. I've got one of them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:24:12 Yeah. Thank you. And I'm glad that you do this. This is lovely. It's really lovely because conversation is so lovely and conversation with you is so easy. Thank you, Zoe. This is your gift. Thank you, Zoe. You're welcome. I tell you what else is my gift. Oh, little Ray. Well, we should say, your dog, I've never seen anything so sweet in all my life. He's gone asleep in his bag. He's asleep in his bag. He's asleep in his bag. Leslie, Zoe. That dog? Original poochie bag. I think I've got a real...
Starting point is 00:24:50 You look at that. You've got something really special there with that dog. Do you know what? I felt at the minute I picked him up when he, you know, and he was little and he was timid, and he was shaking a little bit. But then I saw his human eyes and went, my God, that's...
Starting point is 00:25:05 He's got eyes a bit like sort of Channing Tatum or something. It does, doesn't he? I mean, he looks like Hollywood movie star. That's what my brother said he looked like, Shannon Tat. It's weird that we've both said that. What, your brother said that? Yeah, yeah. It's not Finton, is it?
Starting point is 00:25:20 Fenton, yeah, yeah. I remember Fenton. He's a bit of a big wig, Finton, in the city, isn't he? No, no. What does Fenton do? Finton is a project manager at BP. Oh, yes. No, that was it, BP.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Your dog does look like Channing Tatum. Who does Ray look like, Zoe? Oh. I didn't like O I'm trying to think Judy Dench I think he looks a bit like Leslie Joseph
Starting point is 00:25:53 Dorian from Birds of a Feather When you sort of project that face onto him Yeah Oh he's just gorgeous isn't it Do you sometimes lose his head Like which end he is? I dare you Because he's
Starting point is 00:26:16 Because he's so furry And beautiful Sometimes, but I quite like that about him. Oh, it's lovely. I think it's because I grew up in the 80s and films like weird science and big hair. Everyone, you know, and Whitney Houston, I want to dance with somebody.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Have you ever put him under a fan? A fan? A wind fan. Have you ever tried to be on say his hair back? He's done a shoot occasionally. And he looks spectacular. I bet. You'll be getting into that with your dog.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Are you going to start doing your dog? You see the Instamani will keep rolling in for you with your... I think your dog can do commercials. Now that I'm not getting offered any telework, we've already seen a teddy bear that's got a leading role in a film that I didn't get. Maybe this is the... I'll become like a pushy mum. Oh yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:06 You'll be like a mumager. Yeah. Do you think... Get out there and dance! Gads! Do you think, when you say, oh, you're not being offered any TV work day, I mean, you say that jokingly, but do you feel it... it's harder to get gigs?
Starting point is 00:27:22 Oh, I think, well, I mean, I think it's well documented, isn't it, that the tele industry is sort of on its knees. Yeah. I feel very, very sorry for all of the people that work in production who are struggling so badly. And is that just because of streaming sites or something, or online content or traditional teleists have changed and all of that, viewing change,
Starting point is 00:27:43 young people don't watch television. Yeah. And then there is some bad choices. being made as well where TV's trying to make television for young people to try and rid them back and you know you go just cater for who is watching you. Yeah and it makes me cringe when they do that like on BBC One they'll have some very straight sort of like presenter going very demure
Starting point is 00:28:05 very mindful I'm like no please don't this is so cringe just like stay in your lane yeah yeah but yeah that must be tough though because it's kind of does that make you you think right okay yeah I'm gonna pour everything into my live work or yeah no I mean listen it's you know any free any freelancer yeah struggles and you question it and you think God I mean nobody nobody and nothing knows you a ohs you a career but it's hard not to sometimes panic within this business or not panic but you know
Starting point is 00:28:47 have concerns and people don't realize because they see you on, say, have I got news for you? Yeah, yeah. Which you're brilliant on FYI. Thank you. I will take that compliment. And is that a fun show to do? Yes. Is it? Yeah, lovely. Who do you like best on that? I mean, Ian is just so smart and quick.
Starting point is 00:29:06 He frightens me, though. Oh, really? Well, I think just because my... He reminds me of a lot of my dad's friends. Do you know what you mean? That sort of literary, super smart Oxbridge. Oh, yeah. I'm frightened by those men because... I think that sometimes is the case.
Starting point is 00:29:22 I kind of grew up with those kind of men and they terrified me a bit. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think he's really impressive. Oh, he's very, very impressive. But I worry that he would say something like, come on, long girls, spitting it out. But we've established you're not frightened of that. Not really.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Not when you've dangled off a rope being shouted out by an SAS bloat. No, I mean, it's different, isn't it? No, it doesn't be frightened because I understand who I am and why I'm booked on it. And I'm not booked because of my... massive Oxbridge brain or political insight. I'm booked for other reasons. Usually my availability. My very reliable availability.
Starting point is 00:30:08 I think you'll book because you're so clever and warm and funny and likable and who wouldn't want to spend half an hour in your company. Oh, thank you. That's very sweet. Thank you. And we've got a lot more than half an hour today. Yeah. We've got a lovely walk on Brighton Beach.
Starting point is 00:30:26 Oh, it's nice, isn't it? And we're going to let you go now because... Thank you. Have you got a gig tonight? No, I've got a PR engagement for... Oh, Ray, Ray, look at that. I've made him off with my microphones, please, to him say. Look, how old!
Starting point is 00:30:44 Yes, it's all. It's incorporated itself into his fur. I think Ray would like to say a few words I'm accustomed as I am Is he a barking dog Ray here? He's never barked He's never made a sound in his life He's never barked
Starting point is 00:31:07 I took him to the vet because I was worried about him And they said why are you complaining You should be lucky this happens occasionally He doesn't bark He's never bark I don't understand No But the only noise he sometimes makes
Starting point is 00:31:21 if, for example, I'm on the sofa because he has real sofa rights, you know, he'll sort of go like this. Yeah. He'll be desperate to get on. He makes a sort of tuberculosis. He goes, wow. But he's never barked.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Oh. How about Zippo? Oh, when, it's so funny when they find... Zippo hasn't parked yet. Not yet. But when they find they bark, it's so funny. So when he first came home, we had like a... Ha-ha.
Starting point is 00:31:48 You know, it's like a... Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. And then within a week he was like, oof. Oh wow, I found it. And his balls haven't even dropped yet. So, I mean, we joke that his bark will change when his balls drop. He'll go for, oh, my voice is all over at a place. The full gamut of Scooby-Doo character.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Yeah. Well, Zoe, I have loved walking with you today. And your puppy is just to die for. I don't want to wake. Because you're sleeping. Look at that. We're going to give Zippa a little kiss goodbye. Good night, Zippo.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Thank you for walking with us. He's fast to sleep in his bag. Oh. And listen, everyone, you must go and see Zoe, the brilliant Zoe and Werewolf. Thank you. Please come along. I think you've got a date in London, so we might try and come. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Lovely. Harkney, maybe or somewhere. Yeah, hackney. Look at these two poms coming our way. What do you think of a pom quickly before they arrive? I don't think. No, it's not like your starza, is it? No, not really.
Starting point is 00:32:48 Is it a bit real house size of Cheshire for you? Yeah, but it wouldn't be my. I'd look weird with a pom, I think. Would you like? Yeah, you'd double take if I had a pond. Would I? Yeah, and definitely Jack Russell territory. But then, Ray, say hello to the Poms.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Say hello to the Poms. Go on, Ray. Little Poms. Is it ever so sweet? Go on, POMM, go back to your family. Go back to your people. There's a strong breeze today, and I think it must be unfortunate to be a POM when your tail's always up, because if the wind's up, look, right up his backside.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Yeah. Pong, go back to your family wearing the lemon yellow tracksuit cohorts. That's the problem with being a POM. Your bum's always exposed in a strong wind. I said to you in Australia. Little asshole like a knotted balloon. I'm not a bombshell. Zoe lines, I have loved our walk. I've loved ours too. I'm so glad you got to meet Zippo. And Zippo is now sleeping. We love you, Zippo.
Starting point is 00:33:48 Bye. Well, do you say goodbye to Ray, Zoe? Bye, bye, Ray, Ray. Bye-bye, Ray, you're beautiful, beautiful Ray. Bye-bye. You're so gentle, isn't he? I've loved our walk, Ray. See you again.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Oh, dear, he just put his hat, poor on your... He did. He touched my boob. And I thought we were stamping this sort of thing out in showbiz, but no. I'm so sorry, Zoe. I've talked, and we had a whole Me Too chat and consent. Yeah, and they absolutely went for the, went for the boom. I do apologize
Starting point is 00:34:23 It's all right I quite enjoyed it I really hope you enjoyed that episode of Walking the Dog we'd love it if you subscribed and do join us next time on Walking the Dog wherever you get your podcasts

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.