War With A Mate - Episode 10: Click

Episode Date: February 7, 2025

Have you seen Click? Amazing movie. Today the guys commiserate 10 long play sessions with a logistical overhaul of setup, a brief autopsy of SPI, and…surely not a brief cameo from Mr Christopher Walken himself? It’s a hairy one.

welcome to war with a mate with me james that's both of us yeah our podcast where we play the campaign for north africa in its entirety yeah you stumbled over a little bit there you should know now because this is episode 10 the big 10 oh the big no it's the big one oh this is an episode of 100 that's a different number my friend different number fucked it from dot one oh redo it redo it we'll have to we'll have to cut this one put it in the bin edit that out start again no no we don't edit on this i do i do edit i do i don't know you better be well you don't know i just i send over the finished audio file yeah the first one i'll check that and then since then it's just nothing it's how you get them it's how you get them trust don't verify so today we've

been continuing as you may know what we're trying to do which is play the game and we're getting pretty good at nearly playing the game yeah we're getting closer and closer to actually playing the game when we nearly play the game we're doing a really good job of nearly playing the game we've got some more developments in terms of putting almost all of the things down on the board that we need to we've put down supply dumps we've put down all of the airfields all the airstrips i've started assigning my aircraft to the various airstrips yeah i've started not airstrips i've started putting them in squadrons but we've given ourselves a little bit of homework for next time that's right yeah we've decided in amongst all of this because we're only playing

for about three four hours a time and the setup is taking a half hour either side we've decided yeah a bit of homework is in order what we're going to do is take some of it with us and all of the planning of you know where the uh the sort of aircraft are going to be the supply dumps that sort of thing we're going to do that in the in the week in between because we don't need each other there for that we don't a bit of moral support would be nice but it's not a great use of our limited time to be sitting in silence filling spreadsheets out and that's been what most of this is so far yeah so we should probably use this time instead to just actually play the game in a competitive sense rather than i mean so much of it is bookkeeping but we can probably

shave down some of the time if we're doing some of the bookkeeping in between the play sessions yeah it should hopefully mean we're just playing when we're here because this is all about beating the game it's not about one of us winning we've got our own stakes for that this is about getting through this damn thing and it's it's feeling real now in the sense of i think i've said that a few times now but the sense of having all the pieces down on the board and the fact that there's not really anything else to plan other than actual gameplay stuff like where the units are we now know and we've put down the supplies we've got the aircraft ready to put down we just need to choose which airfield the squadrons go to and the homework we have i need to plan my shipping

convoys so that all of my suppliers can actually show up and you need to plan how to bomb my shipping convoys yes i need to plan how to not let your supply show up yeah so that's what we're going to be doing in between this week and next it's me getting my resources somewhere and you trying to stop that happening which is also the first phase of the actual game is me planning that that's that's actually part of the game in the actual turn into the turn yeah so what i'm going to be doing this week is actually the very first part of the full turn rather than just setting up the game it's actually part of the game like the turn so that means some point at some point during the week we've officially started the first turn yeah i guess when you

get some free time yeah which uh hopefully it comes around the issue being of course i've i've almost foreshadowed it in the last uh two recordings seeing that i'm coming down with something and today i have actually come down with something but it's very self-inflicted because i've given myself food poisoning with some very poorly cooked chicken so i've been ill all through the night all of today i've felt rotten so i'm hoping this just subsides over the next 24 hours so i can have some spare time that isn't just me clutching my gut in pain and filling the room with unpleasant odors just take the laptop into the bathroom and just get some work done on the toilet that's not gonna happen um i don't want that to sort of dirty the image it already has a bit of

a stay and a bit of a mar on what we're trying to do here i feel like if i'm in a smelly bathroom because of my own self-inflicted salmonella which i think is what it may well be i don't think it's going to make me feel very positive about this. That's not a good sense memory for you. No, it's not. Associating naval convoys with the smell of your own shit. Or vice versa. Every time I go to take a shit from now on,

I'll be thinking about how I'm going to get my forces to Tripoli. 70,000 tons! Ah! I need to get my men to Tripoli, but my bum smells. So all in all, this week yeah, gut problems allowing

should be the start of the game. But that's the price you pay when you're at war. You know, not all of the water is going to be particularly drinkable. Not all of the rations are going to be fully cooked. You know, I tried to cook a chicken when it was frozen. From frozen. I didn't account for how long it'll take to cook. You know, people have been, you know, chastising me all day saying that.

It's impossible to cook it from frozen. It's not impossible. You just need to do it better than I did. just heat it through until it's like chilled as it were and then yeah you can cook frozen stuff of course you can i i'm a bit of a connoisseur of cooking frozen things like um sort of chicken nuggets and stuff like that it's just i went for i don't know why they think it doesn't apply until it's a nugget form yeah yeah exactly you know i've went out my comfort zone yeah i've went for just chicken breast but i was uh i was stung by that that cruel mistress of the culinary

arts which is shit which is shit that's i know i don't think that's the cruel mistress of the culinary arts the ultimate food critic my gut so yeah i think all in all this is a step in the right direction because it's progress yeah it's gone from like a frustrating rule book that i had no way of like picture anything uh to now a daunting game we're about to start but it's actually things of resolving well you say that andy you say a frustrating rule book we did have a moment of frustration today me more than you because it relates to some of my rules so we came across yet another thing that doesn't make sense in the rule book so part of the shipping convoy stuff i get all my stuff shipped over from italy and one of the

features of the game is that the ports can be sabotaged or blocked which means that there's not enough capacity to operate the way they usually would they're not as fast at offloading they can't hold as much stuff and looking through the book the very first turn of the game starts with the sunken ship or half sunk at san garogio believe that's how it's pronounced there's a ship that is half sunk outside tabrook's port and it says the capacity of tabrook has been reduced from five to seven now for those keeping track at home that is a higher number than five it's some classic campaign for north africa maths it is it is some very stereotypical this game because it's just so basic like they've written the words it gets reduced from five to seven and they've not

not even had a cursory glance over it to go is this number lower than the other number it's higher i feel like someone sent over like handwritten drafts or something and then someone typed it up who's a completely different person and they've made some guesses here and they've like misread this two as a seven or something that's not a guess though because if to guess is to extrapolate some kind of idea of what's likely based on the information around it and if it says reduced from two and then you shouldn't then go for a higher number you shouldn't guess and go well this could be any number this could be higher i suppose no the guesses are on individual characters there's been no reading of sentences by whoever typed this up then that's not a guess

that anything could have been typed there could have been could have been a letter i mean i'm not going to jinx myself by saying that could well come across that down the line well it's just letters when numbers should be i mean that's already happened oh no that happened i think we found that last week when it was the uh the 2501 or 2s01 essentially this is just another example of it being wrong and then we did some digging through the rule books and it does mention in passing the correct score which is meant to be two which is why they didn't put it in the addendum because it's there randomly on a different page i mean you say that but that's not why it's because they didn't pick up on it and by chance we managed to find it so once again it has proved

itself to be frustrating but i feel like we're a bit more tempered yeah this doesn't feel as a well you certainly don't seem as angry at the game uh as usual no well i've like i say i've got very little sleep i've been um i've been barraged by my own gut so i've got bigger things to focus on than somebody 45 years ago deciding to try and mess with me in the future not today not today bigger fish to fry bigger chickens to cook okay so i maybe you should be get food poisoning more often it's better for your attitude what a horrible thing to say to a close friend i mean yeah pretty bad you think i should be poisoned regularly just because it makes your life a little bit calmer i mean why else would you poison anyone i mean yeah well that's something

that's part of the game isn't it you can poison water supplies yeah fill them with salt fill them with salt that's yeah to be fair that's that's usually how i have my meals just full of salt yeah so i'm already poisoning myself by that metric and the metrics of medical science today i have you don't have to know in general oh right oh yeah long run it's not going to be great no but they'll solve immortality in the next five years and then all the horrible stuff we've done to our bodies will just be wiped away sorry solve immortality that makes it sound like there's some sort of immortality surge yeah there's a big box and it's a puzzle to open it and some of our best minds are working on it that's an episode of doctor it's not a pandora's box it's got all

the good stuff in it do you remember that episode of doctor who the pandorica uh no no no pandorica open no the better one um you're talking about matt smith i'm talking about the david tennant one where it's called school reunion it's where sarah jane smith comes back in oh it's the stealth pilot for the stare of jane smith school adventures whatever the fuck it was called yeah um i think so it's the one where canines in it and they so is um anthony stewart head great cast actually in this episode and they've uh fed all of the school children some sort of uh oh and they use computers or something yeah yeah they give them chips that make them smart and they've got to crack the it's like this equation that's the building blocks of the universe yeah

that's what we're doing in box form yeah we're doing this in in this game oh no i was talking about scientists we're not helping anyone yeah well we are we're helping whoever's listening to this now get through their day whoever's listening to this before they started this was down in the dumps and then they were like what's going on with war with a mate this week let's check in on the guys yeah have they finished the game yet so they checked in episode 10 like the foolish naive idiot they were and uh i mean it's 10 episodes we've said eight years come on so they've checked in um i don't mean that i don't mean that listener so they've listened in and now you know they're listening to us wax about doctor who and everything's a little bit brighter yeah everything's

feeling a little bit better my gut doesn't feel as tight why did he stop them solving the thing if it was good because they were gonna do something bad with it anthony stewart head was gonna do it something nefarious with it i mean it's the building blocks to the universe you don't want to hand that over to anyone with slicked back hair I mean I'd only trust someone with slicked back hair someone who's well put together

is that why is that why you envy my slicked back hair you don't have slicked back hair, if you did I would envy it, but it doesn't I'm going to have to slick it back then

I don't have a hair I shaved it off fairly recently so i'm gonna have to grow it out and then slick it back bad move for the start of the game you're really samson to yourself no i can uh i really want samson samson yeah you know the guy from the bible who like got his haircut off and it made him weak oh i don't i don't take my power from my hair i take it from my uh seen a distinct lack of power since the haircut mate i had to get poison i suppose yeah this wouldn't happen to a full head of hair james and last no two weeks ago just after the haircut you were very tired that's a good point oh yeah no more

haircuts for you oh whatever unless you want to get weak not until the game ends unless you want your body to be ravaged by sickness and tiredness this does feel like a prophecy that i'm being told i do have the sight you you're wearing glasses you don't have normal sight yeah my eyes are weaker in reality so they can see further into the future. I've tried your glasses on before. You don't have sight. I remember once when we were on a night out and you lost

your glasses and you seemed like you were going to die. Yeah, it really hurts. Today I was just looking at the map. I was like, I need new glasses. I can't read these numbers. I mean, yeah, the numbers are really small to be

fair, but also, yeah, you were really straining those eyes. You've got a little torch now don't we that we use to look at the board yeah and occasionally point lasers at people yeah we do sometimes flash the laser at each other um just as a sign of passive aggressive standoffishness yeah we've just got to make sure that we keep on posturing you know cold war style it's uh very contemporary for what the game is set as but uh yeah we do a bit of we do a bit of cold war stuff i think cold war was pretty cool yeah pretty pretty cold you could say yeah It was actually pretty hot, just not for

The two guys involved Yeah, well you think there was only two people In the Cold War Yeah, Russia and America Uncle Sam and Mother Winter Mother Winter A distant relative of Father Time Yeah

His frigid niece That's a bizarre Family dynamic that you've concocted In your head there It's time-related, but she's cold. Right. What? You know what?

That's impressive. Usually I'm the one who comes up with the completely derailing tangents, but you've really knocked it out of the park. That wasn't derailing. You just didn't get it. That was smart. It wasn't. You haven't made some sort of point.

You're a real stick in the mud when it comes to these sort of tangents. You just dig in with your pseudo-political prophecies. Warning me about my hair. Yeah? Want to be about Mother Winter? Russia would have won the Cold War if she hadn't cut her hair. When did she cut her hair exactly? 1984.

Oh, 1984, eh? Yeah. Like the book. Yeah, that's why she did it. Because she's an avid reader. She thought it was a book about wanting to get a haircut. She didn't read it. She just heard good reviews.

That's why you never judge a book by its cover. No, you've got to read it. Especially if it's telling you to cut your hair mid-war. Well, unless it's some sort of hairdressing book. Then you should probably follow its advice for when to cut your hair. Hairdressers don't tend to focus on power and spiritualness too much. Yeah, look where that's got them, Andy. Cutting people's power off.

Street corners. Back alley shops. Yeah, yeah. All this, yeah, they really haven't hit their stride. there's been a lot of industry booms but one that's always been stagnant is the the hairdresser the barber yeah i've noticed actually as well there's no one wants to hold up a group who remove things from people but one thing that they have managed to maintain after all this time is you know the sort of spinning um thing outside the red and white sort of wheel the candy cane

thing yeah yeah what is that what's going on with that do you know that uh i don't i think it's from when barbers also used to be surgeons then they don't have a right to have that up outside no but i think it is i think it's back to then because it used to be the barber and the surgeon in town were the same guy because they he's the only one with like a sharp knife the only man who owns the village knife so he's in charge of medicine and hair well yeah he's a bit of a jack of all trades master of none yeah so i've got the sharp instrument i'll use it to do well whatever you want really you want something cut off hair fingers a mole and then you probably also had leeches medieval surgeons doing cosmetic surgery on moles well no it's you know it's to it's to

cut out uh cut out any any bad stuff you know moles can those can be bad yeah you don't you don't want a bad mole to sort of develop that's true like a spy you know they're good or bad till the end so just cut them off for yourself yeah i i always uh i always sort of wondered about that when i was a kid and what happens if like you just cut them all off you know the ones where like skin tags yeah what if you just pull one off i mean i've done that before it bleeds a lot right for a long time oh well what you've essentially done is you've taken some annoying flap of skin and turned it into a wound oh yeah no i suppose that's what that would be yeah well you've uh you've satiated my curiosity i'm not gonna do that yeah i don't actually have any skin

tags i did have one at one point on my back which is the one i pulled off and then i just didn't realize till i like got changed at the end of the day i'd ruined a t-shirt it was just blurred all down the back that's horrible what a horror show yeah oh find different ways to pass your time so don't touch your skin tags guys go to the barbers you can touch them just don't pull them off i think there's a penis joke in there i'm not seeing it you're not seeing it right let me break it down for you buddy i think uh i think i'm feeling a little bit better good i think i think this chicken started yeah no because now when it comes to the game it's it's your goose that's kooked.

Mine sure as fuck wasn't. It was like a pink band around the outside. I don't know how that works. We're not food scientists. Cooked in the middle. I actually do think in the game my plan that I've got is sort of decent.

I've got a lot of people around the centre of the map, as do you. But I've got a lot bigger of a force. Your force is sort of piddly. uh yes we need to start releasing maps actually like the pictures i'll put them on the website because now we're at the point where the stuff we're talking about there's actual visual stuff yeah because we've got pretty much everything down now well yeah we will have everything down

on the map yeah all the stuff not down is like hidden from the other player so it doesn't go on the map yeah let's start putting it out we'll start putting it out people can see then they can actually get an idea as to what we're doing and there's probably also a lot of people listening and sorry there's probably uh i'm just gonna go for percentages there's probably a good i don't know 40 50 percent of people listening who don't believe that we're playing the game because i mean god we talk so little about it can't blame them but if we start posting the pictures they can actually visualize what way what we're talking about to an extent it doesn't really help i don't think it it doesn't especially when you don't know the rules and stuff but we uh

We need to put a link into the rules as well or something just so people can get a little look at the rules. Yeah, they can Google it. Let's not put a link to the thing on it just in case there's any issues. Yeah, I mean, SPI, they're dead. But its corpse was acquired by a series of corporations and it's in the hands of Hasbro now.

Oh, yeah. I forgot that Hasbro has their dirty mitts on this. Yeah, it'll be in their intellectual property archive somewhere. gathering dust i'm looking forward to the crossover film between transformers and the spi campaign for north africa that'll be a good one it's the only film longer than the irishman oh imagine that five and a half hour masterpiece eight years eight year movie i mean i'd watch it i probably wouldn't i'm watching it right now we're the stars of the show andy oh yeah when you die your life flashes before your eyes you'll see the movie oh but there's so much i have to

skip through to get to it you can click your way through your last moments can you that's so horrible because at least in click adam sandler at the end gets to go back and redo it all i think that film would have been better if it just didn't really if it was just like the moral of the story is you get one life don't fuck it up just an incredibly dark ending the film's exactly the same he like gets fat and alienates his family and then is it christopher walken yeah he was just like well you screwed that up didn't you and then he just dies and no one goes to his funeral you have to say the christopher walken bit as christopher i can't do it well you what was that i don't know your face there trying to just attempt the impression

that was wild i'll leave the impressions to you no because you just mock me for them yeah not as easy as it sounds is it yeah that's why i don't do them well i'm not going to try christopher walken okay i'm not going to do that but i think i mean the film still has that message at the end though where it's you just get the one life well he gets two i know he just gets the horrible fever dream of the one that he skipped through that should have been his life what i would have done I guess it's pretty cynical I would have just skipped through my life but got like lottery numbers and stuff

yeah but he didn't know he was going back I would have presumed also the clicker would have skipped past him reading stuff because he didn't like doing that so you would have gone and bought the tickets but it would have been on autopilot so you wouldn't remember only if you pressed the autopilot button

no because remember it's adaptive it's also a cautionary tale about ai helping you out oh classic yeah don't guess what i want to help me just you hear that elon musk click click is on to you i mean it's it's really maybe one of the most important tales of the 21st century or it was probably out in the 90s so 20th well it's you know the different archetypes of storytelling um the sort of the main fixtures of story yeah the hero's journey It's like man versus nature, man versus man, and then I guess that one's man versus time. Well, it's man versus God.

Isn't Christopher Morgan meant to be God in that? No, he's the angel of death. Because it's in the same universe as Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty. Is it? Yeah. So he's a sort of villainous counterpart to Morgan Freeman's God? Yeah. Right, okay.

And how have you come to that conclusion, may I ask? It's sort of like silly films with weird religious undertones all happening in the same world. Bruce Almighty doesn't have a religious undertone. It's overtly religious. I mean, the message of forgiveness and stuff are very subtle. Yeah, but God's in it. Yeah, as a metaphor for God. No, Morgan Freeman plays God.

Yeah. I've not seen them right I was waiting for Click 2 and then I'd watch the rest of them the rest of the Clickiverse yeah well I assume Evan and Bruce

team up to get Adam Sandler out of hell so he can have another go at living his life right now you're just describing the first Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy we're a bit Bill and Ted's in there no we were talking about pirates of the caribbean the other day would you would you play uh you know uh okay we'll do a

pirates of the caribbean thing no no i'm interested now you've seen bill and ted's right yeah you just die and then death comes to do the game and you like campaign for north africa and then just no one dies for eight years because he's busy someone actually posted about that on a subreddit the other day oh because now one of the things i do as part of someone who's playing this game and wasting in their life, is I trawl through the sort of subreddits to do with board games, and I'll search to see

if anyone's posted stuff about the game. Part of it is because my hubris won't let anyone else beat us, so I need to keep an eye out on them and try and sort of sabotage their events and what they're trying to do. Yeah, because we won't go faster. We'll slow them down. Exactly, exactly.

It's the whole, you know, we don't have to run faster than the lion. We have to run faster than the slowest man. So, somebody had posted a question where it was sort of, if you had to play a board game against death, which one would you pick? Someone said the campaign for North Africa, because even if you don't win, you're guaranteed to have eight years. So, there you go. Good thinking. Yeah.

Parallel, great minds thinking alike. Well done, Reddit commentator. I feel like you posted that now. No. I feel like I found your burner account. I don't post on YouTube. Yeah, you do. I don't.

Definitely do. I don't want to expose people. I bet you're a SoundCloud rapper in secret. Not really. Millions of followers. It's not in secret, is it? You're a very overt SoundCloud rapper. It's just a secret to you.

Why wouldn't you tell me that? You're lost for tickets. Tickets to what? I'm in your house a lot. Events. Industrial spaces where I play gigs. You don't have an industrial space where you play anything

Well that's just mean If you did, why the hell are we playing this game on your floor instead of leaving it somewhere else Because raves happen there Yeah, I'd rather leave it where a rave is Yeah, because it means we don't have to set it up every week

But it will be immediately ruined I don't care Oh, you just want an excuse to quit It wasn't our will that failed, the board got wet Exactly, if the board gets wet we have to instantly quit no we have to buy a new one we can't do that it was so expensive the first time around we're gonna buy it at an auction yeah maybe not auction next time let's not do it next time let's not buy the game again no no if we don't get it this time we just pick a different

like normal board game or we just stop doing this all together and just we just live a normal life again that'd be great to go back oh before we were doing this but you can't go back that's the message from click yeah we really have taken a lot of inspiration from click in this project yeah i still feel really um disingenuous when i call this a project why because the project sounds serious or like it's something of value yeah pretty much I mean yeah

what we're doing is we're still nearly playing the game but again at some point this week the game will have started the game will be afoot in the words of Sherlock Holmes the game's afoot

the game of Campaign for North Africa is afoot yeah if Sherlock could figure that one out be a smarter man than us yeah and all those people wouldn't have died if he could have just played not Mycroft, what's this evil guy called? Moriarty.

Yeah, if you just played Moriarty at the game, I'd say he was smart. Discombobulate. Then he just kind of slaps him over the face. That's what I'm going to do to you halfway through the game. You're going to discombobulate me. Yeah, if you start getting the better of me, I'm going to slap you over the head.

If you do, I'm going to sneak into your house and shave you to remove your power. I don't like that because that's very broad. that sounds like you're going to shave everything like eyebrows get up in my nose with one of those nose hair shavers

oh yeah you'll be incredibly well groomed give you a fade that's actually no I can't beat Andy at the campaign for North Africa because now I've got a low tapered fade that he gave me in my sleep oh he's such a good barber you should become a doctor

she'll continue up the barber surgeon pipeline yeah i mean it just feels different nowadays you couldn't really be a doctor just because you've got a gillette razor yeah well up until like 50 years ago to be a doctor you just had to be able to read that was like the only qualification for doctor or lawyer you know what i don't know what the qualification was to be a game designer in 1978 not being able to read or they would have been a doctor or lawyer yeah

dyslexia, dyscalculus a dash of cruelty cynicism spare time a lot of spare time I think you mix it all together that's what you've got and then they didn't even have the courage to play test

the whole bloody game which means that you do realise that we'll get to a point where we're in such uncharted territory no one's played the game as long as we will have played it and it might just fall apart completely i mean we've already passed the point there's nowhere to google clarification on stuff yeah that's what makes the uh the sort of rule issue so frustrating because we can't check anywhere it's not like other games where you can just search it and immediately find an answer or like forum posts we do this all the time with dungeons and dragons where for like rule disputes or any

confusion we'll google it and we'll find even if there's no definitive answer like 10 or 12 like posts on reddit or forums where people have got a consensus but there's nothing even close to that with this no the only posts about it are look how ridiculous this is haha why would anyone play this it's simple and then no one's like so how does this rule interact with this rule because why would you bother yeah we only ever come across it in sort of novelty context where it's people going this game's ridiculous who would play this idiots two of them oh the fact that it's it's happening now though it's good i think this does feel like progress this does feel like a big positive step and the game feels more of a grounded possibility i don't i don't actually

feel as overwhelmed and bewildered by it as i as i once did no i am really feeling the need for a table or surface that's big enough but that's just not it just won't fit in here yeah I really don't know looking around your room now how it is that we could have something big enough as a surface

that isn't just your floor yeah I mean there's nothing to move out anymore yeah we play it with pretty much all of your furniture moved out of the room so we sit down on the floor and play around it ah yeah I think we just have to kind of bite the bullet

we're getting slightly faster with the setup and takedown i mean yeah the setup well it was the first time we'd like to set out with the pieces but it was pretty quick we got all sorted before you got around and then wasn't like pushed for time probably took 45 minutes well that's it you usually get a bit of a head start to set it up because tends to be that it's a it's a weekday we've both got work i'll get back you set up we're kind of ready to go take it down together it's it's eaten about an hour into our time but that's why we're doing this whole homework thing because that way we're not just you know stealing our time that we should be spending playing the game so once we've got our air stuff planned and the naval convoy then it's actually moving

our men around yeah the war begins in earnest and as it goes on you know i feel we're 10 of these in i'm starting to actually understand a bit of the structure here because we've always said this podcast is an accountability tool and it definitely is because i'm realizing now the amount of stuff we're going to be doing is homework and then the kind of stuff we're going to be doing here together a lot of it we're not going to be able to just talk about in the podcast and for it to make sense to people yeah we're gonna have to well the details of it just don't we'll be able give like hopefully a bit of a top level like these two units four and like you won or whatever but yeah we're not gonna i mean we're just not gonna talk people through well i removed six

percent of the fuel from a hundred units the only way people could truly understand what we're doing and for us to be able to talk about it is if they enter the elite number of individuals who've also read and now understand the rules of the game so if you're not in that number you can fuck off I don't mean that don't reduce our audience

to people who understand the game because one, they're the only people who know we're fucking up constantly and two, that's like eight people in the world please don't go away if you don't know the game that was us just a few short moons ago

and even now we're still having to re-go over the rules now we're at the point where we've read the rules, we understood the rules since we're playing now we have to keep on going back to the rules it's the bit we're doing though yeah, we have to go back to the specific portion of the rules so I think because of that

I'm having that sort of revelation now the epiphany that this is going to be just us talking around the game that's what this is I mean, yeah, we will be able to give updates when things are fighting and like a general sense of who seems to be winning uh but yeah well we committed to buying this and then doing the podcast before we knew anything yeah that's a good point we didn't know

what we were getting into really if we did we probably wouldn't be doing this honestly no if if i if i had a chance to sit down and read through all of the rules properly look at the game realize how long it's going to take to set up take down every week and then doing the podcast on top of it all of the editing the releasing all of the logistics around all of this i wouldn't have said yes i wouldn't have suggested it yeah that's the thing is it was your idea i was like yeah okay and you've hated it constantly since we started it's just it's so so much it's so much to do on every every corner of it the game the recording the that's it fucking spreadsheets oh but it's uh yeah we've said we're gonna do it we're gonna do it i'm not

backing out because someone someone's gonna finish the game eventually i want that to be us i think uh the i think i think click is is the best analogy for this in the sense of you wish you could skip it well no in the sense of um you know click isn't real so we're just we just have to live so it might be really you reckon it seemed pretty personal to one guy for all we know there could be people all around us clicking their way through lives do you reckon we can find one take the remote uh yes but then you die instantly yeah how does that work i don't know it's down at christopher walken's death magic right we need to find christopher walken then no because then he'll kill you with death magic not if you just find just leave the clickers alone loads of people

so are clickers in the same universe as the jumper universe no the jumper universe is standalone oh right okay sorry well you've got the movie and you've got the game yeah but the game's a adaptation of the film there's no new stuff in it it is it's all from the perspective of the spin-off character the christian guy the christian guy yeah he was like against them no no that's um that's sam jackson yeah no it's the other one it's the other jumper that jumper meets does that film end by a guy jumping a car and dying no that he jumps a whole car no that's partway through the film and he doesn't die no no again much like click i'd edit in a death there if i had been making it stop making all films so needlessly morbid well clicks less impactful if

he gets another go no it no it makes it gone from sort of a a fun like comedy that people vaguely remember to like a very poignant thing about death people don't want that from an Adam Sandler film and if they do they'd watch stuff like Uncut Gems where it is a gritty film. People fucking love being shocked by the fact Adam Sandler's good at acting

sometimes. I mean it does shock me. That's also why people loved True Detective season 2 they were like oh my god Vince Vaughn could be serious. Right people didn't love the second season. It was their favourite season. People didn't love the second season of True Detective.

It was their second favorite season. I loved the second season of True Detective. Because you like Vince Vaughn being surprisingly good at acting instead of funny. I mean, I was blown away by his performance, I can't lie. But people, in general, en masse, hate the second season. Just because the first season was so good. They don't give the second season its own space. So, anyone listening, I'd recommend it.

if you if you've watched the first season of true detective hell even if you've seen the second one and you don't remember it being good give it another go it is good i promise you it's good but you know well you've promised i have i have if you listen to this i think i think this is good so if you're listening you probably think that as well we've clearly got common interests to listen to listen to that yeah don't watch it just stick it on in the background close your eyes now you'll get the gist yeah you can just listen to most things yeah that's basically what people are doing to this true detective made no use of like silence or sweeping shots or not dialogue i feel like you're being facetious because it yeah it was a beautiful program it was

quite good beautifully shot would have been better if cole had died Spoilers Gets the click remote And goes back in time Now that would have been awesome No it wouldn't I can't think of a worse True Detective season 2

Was Matthew McGonaghy Clicking his way through the first season Or he just goes back And like you with the lottery tickets It's that guy And they just go catch him immediately And the rest of it's about him not living life to the fullest I'm 90% sure that's what the next Avengers film is going to be.

What? Tony Stark gets the click remote and becomes Dr. Doom. That'll be good. No, it won't. And then he dies at the end. Is that how you think this game's going to end? One of us dies at the end. Yeah.

How else would it be poignant? I don't know. We finish up a project that we've committed to for the better part of a decade, and then we go out for a meal together. and we sort of reminisce on the days gone by thought it was gonna be that and then we walk down to the pier and one of us expires as the sun rises sorry are you trying to tell me that you're really ill or something i'll hold on till we're done well maybe you'll get ill i mean i'm ill right now yeah maybe that's gonna kill you in eight years on a pier if this food poisoning

kills me in eight years. This is going to be the worst time of my life. It's going to be a bad eight years. Yeah, it's going to be absolutely feral. I'm going to be stinking the whole time. This is not the way I want this to go.

If you don't like it, you can curse Morgan Freeman. We don't have the power or the resources to curse anyone apart from ourselves. That's why we're doing this. This is a curse. This is a plague of both their houses yeah direct that outwards once the game ends it is no no this can't be about

inflicting curses this just has to be dialed in and about the game you just need to finish the game and then have a meal and die on a pier and then i'll be like why christopher walken why did you take him from me and then i'll go and i don't know become friends with him do a podcast you're fine with it immediately afterwards well he's got that charisma doesn't he you can't stay mad at him even though he kills you when you get near him do you want to try the impression once more

I'm Christopher Walken yeah well I can't think of a better soundbite to wrap up today's episode so that was Christopher Walken as a New York mobster walking

I've painted a picture with my words yeah a picture says a thousand words and then the taxi pulls up and he's like I'm walking here and he slaps the hood and the guy in the car dies because he's the angel of death and he goes

should have had a clicker well I thought I was ill no I've no it's not gone well for me oh right that's that's got to be it i don't think there's anywhere else productive that we're going with us today that's

that's it that's us wrapped up uh watch click and watch true detective season two and if you've got any thoughts on either of those two things specifically or this game that we're going to be playing for the next eight years then you can you can

drop us in a word at info at war with a mate dot co dot uk and we'll happily let you know what we think about what you think about Andy's Christopher Walken impression still waiting for that first email

yep we'll we'll wait with bated breath and I'm going to go home and try and clean up my breath because I smell and if you get offered one don't take the clicker to get past the food poisoning I'll take it because you don't get another go

well I'll I'll take that I'll take that chance okay goodnight everyone stay humble brave and subtle and

cook your chicken thoroughly