War With A Mate - Episode 11: Uncle Climax

Episode Date: February 14, 2025

How do I abhor thee? Let me count the ways. A philosophical and psychological battle of the wits has erupted between Andrew and James, with no punches pulled against beloved pop culture and treasured memories. With game progress moving at a glacial pace, the War is spilling out to all faucets of life - and an online purchase is poised to change the fundamentals of the game forever; or at least briefly.

welcome to chat with a mate the podcast where we talk and we pretend it's about a board game my name's james i'm andy we're just dropping the pretend pretense entirely now are we well let's stop let's stop lying to them let's just tell them what it is yeah let's rebrand on episode 11 yeah let's switch it up a little bit this is a podcast that is it's related to the board game spis the campaign for north africa related in that it's all about that and nothing else uh is it you might want to go back if you listen to the podcast oh no i hate the sound of my voice oh you know what i've come to hate the sound of my voice you know what get out i'm going to solo this one i know enough about the game this is a podcast you already know the gist if

you're listening at this point and you haven't heard anything else then that's on you i'm not this time we're not going to explain it we're not going to explain the premise oh we're doing it on purpose this time not by mistake yeah we may as well we may as well own it we keep forgetting so i guess regardless we're going to have to talk about what we've done today that's how we usually start yeah the structure is we talk a little bit about the game That's it It's a very self aware one isn't it Yeah

It was a fun little session It was good Yeah it was a bit Yeah Out of the blue But we've had a little bit more Playtime Which makes it sound like we're children

Playtime again It also makes it sound like we're having fun And sort of mincing around and having a good time, but we're not. What we've been doing instead is we started trying to get the gist of what's going to happen in the first game turn. But instead, we talked a lot about the logistical how-do.

Yeah, because this was, I think, the third time we've set the map up with everything on it. We missed the supply dumps this time. Yeah, but it's... Okay, but intentionally. It wasn't intentional. I forgot to put down the supply dumps, Oh, I thought they were just down, so we weren't.

There was like five of them. It was really important to know where they are, to be fair. Yeah. But we forgot to put them down. But the rest of it was all put down. The big sprawling game map, nine feet of paper, and after we put it down,

we realised there's a better way to do this. This is completely untenable. Putting it down every single time. The issue isn't even so much putting it down, but there was a moment when i thought if one of us knocks this just slightly and 10 of the pieces if four of the pieces get knocked yeah that's it that we we're done for the day yeah that's like 20 minutes half an hour of putting things back checking my preferences we lose pretty much that game session yeah so what we need to do is completely shift that dynamic we need to make

sure that we can play the game without that constant fear so we took a uh we took a leaf out of jesse pinkman's book yeah magnets bitch uh yeah i mean the plan is to use some magnets we bought five picture frames so instead of one big map it's gonna be each of the individual maps in a picture frame yeah we're gonna have them all hung up on your wall well you you compared it to sort of a rich business executive having a motorcycle hanging from their wall yeah it's the like

board game not rich version it's like a very expensive thing I have on the wall but instead of on the wall we're going to have it on the floor less respectful no we're going to have it on surfaces that's the whole point

we're going to have it on like tables and stuff we're going to have it set out in these picture frames but we're going to stick a metal sheet into the picture frame behind the game board and then we're gonna we found a bunch of really small magnets that we can stick onto the the individual game pieces so then we can click them down into place so that every time we're playing we can just pop them down and that's it so when we move them around it's actually fixed on a specific point if we knock it the pieces don't go flying and we don't have to spend the rest of the day trying to determine where they were and then pack it up

We might even be able to leave the boards between sessions just stacked in a corner. And it's a big shift because when I showed up today, I came in here, you opened your door to me, and you said, let's go on a field trip. And I was immediately concerned. You took me around into the backyard of your place. Through the backyard into the alley?

Yeah, you opened up the gate into the back alley. And at that point, I was like, right, so I'm going to come through here and he's going to put me on my knees and shoot me in the back of the head and that's how he's going to win. You can rest now, James. I'm doing this for you.

And I get to turn to the rabbits. So you took me around the back alley and you'd found in the back alley of your street some rubbish. Someone had fly tipped. You're really presenting this. Someone had fly tipped and you took me... Someone had disassembled a wardrobe

and left it in panels in the back alley. They had. It's called fly-tipping. And I was like, they're big, flat bits of wood. Maybe we can put the map on them. But they're too small. Yeah, at a glance. The game is bigger than a wardrobe. For anyone wondering, it is bigger than a wardrobe.

If we did 20 questions, is it bigger than an envelope? Can it fit in a bread box? It can't fit in a bread box. Can it fit on a wardrobe panel? It can't. It can't. Because we marched out into the back. We picked up this big piece of... We were like hands on our hips, inspecting trash and talking about how it might be useful.

Then we sort of resolved it, both grabbed an end and just brought this trash into my living room. Put it on my coffee table. And then when we looked at it, we were like... It was too small. Well, not only that, we had to also go, well, we have to wipe it down first, obviously, before we put the mat on it. But we didn't think about that before we put it on your table. we just slammed it down this filthy piece of waste

and then we're like no it's too short it's too short so we picked it back up and we put it back in the alley that we found it in back with your neighbours rubbish which means that since it came into your home and we took it back out that's us doing the

fly tipping so this is our confession no it wasn't in the house long enough well it's not like a 5 second rule must be longer because it was in here for a while five hour rule five hour rule and then it's flying for trash yeah is it so if i so if i come into i guess realistically some of the sessions that we play this game i'm not going to be here for five hours so if i bring something in and it's just you know here temporarily and then i take it back out and i throw it in your street that's fine

that's the shop that did it it's the shop's fault it's the shop's fault well they shouldn't have sold it to you if they suspected you might fly to it they ID'd me they checked they did all the vetting process that they usually do in Sainsbury's or I don't shop in Sainsbury's very much it's important to get that out there yeah before anyone thinks I'm a snob I don't shop at Sainsbury's and anyone who does shop at Sainsbury's don't kid yourself you are a snob anyone who gets nectar points for their purchases I mean come on think it over just go shop at Waitrose accept what you are yeah you know you're you're you're an upmarket fellow you're a nice just eat it out the pocket just accept the fact that you're better than most people

congrats yeah you're why are you listening to this you should be on the moon this there's a premium podcast you can listen to rather than this something where there's some sort of paywall to get access to it. This is free. This is free view entertainment. Anyone can tap into this. This solid gold. This is welcome to all.

I mean, yeah, and we're giving this stuff away for free. Yeah, you're welcome, by the way. For all of those Asda shoppers. All of those who enjoy a little trip down the middle of little. All of the working man. That's what this is for. It's to show

no matter what you want to do, If you commit to it, you can do it. As long as it's stupid and pointless. Yeah, we're not going to help anyone achieve a good dream. We've got a dream. It's a dream to finish this. Yeah, I said good dream. We should, by the way, definitely write some sort of drinking game rules

about stuff we say on this. Because I reckon the amount of times that I say finish the game or the rules or we're gonna do this no today we made good progress I find myself saying it all the fucking time I mean you can roll them into one rule which is James tries to persuade himself

this is a good idea that's what it is it's delusion and it's not of grandeur I mean what's the opposite of grandeur you're aspiring to a point below mediocrity I just want to be slightly worse than most people you'll get there one day buddy

Right now I'm just right at the tippy top It's hard to get that low down Oh you're viewing this as a journey Downwards are you This is a journey upwards So yeah you are I'm breaking through the glass ceiling I'm sick of people telling me

Don't break that that's there for a reason Oh so you subscribe to the idea That people should be blocked From getting access to things Someone rolled to the effort to put a glass ceiling there Maybe go and ask why before you smash it why don't people just say skylight smash the skylight yeah that's what a glass ceiling is yeah it's a skylight and then if you fall through it it's a skyfall

whoa you're doing music today that's beautiful yeah that was um do you know the artist that sung that a dale whoa andy you are firing on all cylinders today i feel like we've swapped places yeah i'm the music guy now so what am i i'm the i'm the guy who knows nothing i'm the guy who keeps it on track i'm the guy who makes uh quite relatable and sensible remarks yeah just a normal guy you know what i'm sick of this could be so many things it's actually not anything game related oh okay i'm sick of talking to people who listen to this because there are actually people that listen to this yeah that's not even a joke that's crazy i'm sorry but also there's like 10 downloads per ep you're sick of it there's no fans what i'm sick of is when i do talk to

people who listen to it it's the fact that they say that you're the relatable everyman i am there's no relatable everyman in this i sort of get whether i mean probably i sort of get where people are coming from but the thing is there's no everyman in this situation no one should be doing this you can still have an everyman so how how are you the everyman and how am i not because i'm relatable cool and people want to be like me but also they are like me because i'm relatable but aspirational you're the everyman but you're like the lexus of human beings the everyman isn't cool yeah he is that's the definition of coolness is what the most people are doing no it's not it's that's called average which is cool being average is not cool remember

that everyone being average is not cool stand out be different be different be different in the worst way possible if you need to but you need to be different being average is not okay stand out or kneel down there's no in between the in between no one remembers the in between that's fine

do you want people to remember this ideally otherwise what's the point I mean excellent question we're the first ones to do this needs to matter does matter matters to me

that's why we're born all as magnets the most minor purchase we've made to do this i'm actually really surprised at how cheap bulk magnets are why are you surprised i just thought magnets were like a really expensive piece of material no they use them like attached children's drawings to fridges you wouldn't use something valuable for that they do do they who's they big parent is that what you call your dad hello big parent andrew please call me dad this is so weird i'm gonna call your dad big parent when i see him your parents are big parent as well i suppose so they're all part of big parent they're all they're all part of the conspiracy

yeah so what a day we've had we've had quite the adventure um it's almost like being in the the the cult classic film stand by me while we've been on an adventure and we finally got to the end we found the dead body on the railroad yeah you were telling me about this today it sounds like a truly awful film it's a brilliant film. It's based on Stephen King's The Body. Brilliant novella. Brilliant novella. And it's also centred around

the fantastic song Stand By Me. Benny King. Did he write that for the film? No. So they named the film after the song? The song came out a long time before the film. Did it come out before the book? It would have done, yeah. So the book's a copy of the song?

The book is called The Body. The book has nothing to do with the song. the book has nothing to do with the song I think it was heavily inspired by it you think that the book about a bunch of sort of 12 year olds

in America going to find a dead body on a railroad is inspired by Benny King's song Stand By Me which is about companionship through hard times yeah that makes sense

that makes perfect sense companionship through hard times the kids are friends and it's hard finding a body it is i'm i've never found a body no matter how hard i look when i'm on the way to the train or when i'm walking home from work i can never find a body so why do these little pipsqueaks think they can find a body so they found out about the body they so they're not even discovering the body they're just visit that body tourists they eaves one of them eavesdropped on a conversation that... A kid shouldn't be doing that. Yeah, eavesdropping's bad.

You should never eavesdrop. You know what they say about eavesdropping? Killed the cat? Well, it shouldn't have been on those eaves. What? You always land on your feet, though, if you're a cat, so... Until the 10th time.

Yeah, you get nine. Then you turn into a big pool of blood. Big pool of blood. You think that's what happens to cats if they fall for a 10th time? From a certain height, yeah. They immediately pop into a balloon of gore. now this is going to be some interesting science so it's probably wrong but i understand there's a

goldilocks zone of height if you want to kill a cat by throwing it off something so so up to a certain point it'll survive because it's not high enough then there's the death zone and then i believe after that there's a zone where the falls long enough that it like slows down and doesn't die where have you got these figures uh i can't remember exactly probably scientific america or the journal nature wikipedia yeah the most accurate encyclopedia ever created you know what the scary thing is this does ring familiar yeah it's true i do i do it's there's less errors like per article like across the thing than like encyclopedia britannica or like an actual encyclopedia the thing is it's along the same lines of i always thought you know the

thing is if you if you had an ant on your hand yes and you drop the ant yeah and it sort of falls from your hand to the floor when you're standing up you wouldn't expect the ant to die would you you wouldn't i wouldn't well no i don't think it would either yeah it's weird though isn't it because it's light because if if you were held up by somebody of the equivalent height of ant to human yes and they dropped you you wouldn't think you'd oh i'll be all right yeah if i was the size of an ant and a man picked me up and i'd be fine no you wouldn't because i'm so light you you die instantly no that's why ants survive because they don't weigh enough so when they land their body doesn't like fall through them so you think they also have shiny exoskeletons

to keep them safe yeah the shininess doesn't really play into it i think but what i'm saying so if you if you were to skydive yes without a parachute you think you'd be fine no i did that's not what i've said at all but if somebody but you're saying if somebody picked you up someone really really tall if i was the size of an ant so i weighed like less than a gram equivalent size of an ant or the thing is there's two the equivalent size yes you die but if you were the size of an ant you wouldn't die because you're so small but then i'd just be an ant yeah yes but if you were a man-sized ant that a man picked up sorry if you were an ant-sized man that a man picked up and dropped you'd be fine what if you were a man-sized aunt and you're like a terrifying monster what if

you were a man-sized uncle not like the classically short uncle like a tall uncle i mean weird i guess why are you just looking at me that just reminded me of a time that i was in a um i was in a club in town it wasn't even a club it was just a bar and i went into the bathroom and there were some people who were clearly partaking in some sort of recreational activity. They were sharing shit, but... Yeah, yeah, essentially, because they turned around as I went over to the

urinal, and they went, oh, are you anti-drugs? And I went, me? No, I'm uncle drugs. And they walked out. The one thing that made drugs so uncool that these guys never did them again. Wordplay.

Yeah. And I stood there with the urinal, and I was like, you know what, good, I've just saved a life. They went and got drugs in a more dangerous place. Probably. They probably went into some sort of back alley or wherever people do drugs. And then examined furniture and decided to take it. The only drug I need...

Cocaine. Just lots of that. ...is a combination of caffeine. Okay, so the only drug you need is multiple drugs. It's caffeine and it's SPI's the campaign for North Africa. it's sound logistical planning that's what I need and I've got my fix right here

hope I don't overdose because boy is there a lot of it a lot of logistical planning I hope you do what a mean thing to say mean thing to say to your appointments

my work appointments your ward that's what I am here lifting all your fucking furniture around getting this game put down lifted back up moving your table back through so we can record these episodes is that what you think robin did for batman was move furniture around the bat cave yeah that's what he did that's alfred's job alfred would put us back out if he was doing that no he's surprisingly strong and resilient what today is is surprisingly uh lax in content about the game

because we did so little. Yeah, there's just not much to talk about when it's like we've filled in spreadsheets for ages. Again, another thing where we didn't think about it before we committed to this is it's not the most podcast-friendly game. It's not. And we talked about this last time, didn't we,

where we sort of accepted finally that this isn't really going to be a podcast where we talk about the game constantly. We're playing the game, but this is more about us going through the experience of it and this is what the experience is we've just spent five six hours playing i don't think we've even done that no no it's actually been a shorter one it's been like five hours yeah so we did the

field trip and stuff i mean to do actually that much the field trip yeah was you taking me into your back alley for about five minutes while as you said we stood hands on hips inspecting someone's old wardrobe and i had that fear which i'd made very clear to you that it wasn't rubbish and someone had just put it out there to i don't know rearrange or something and now we're going to pick it up and someone's gonna be like hey get your hands off my wardrobe it's not for you this is our trash that's where i keep my clothes give it back and because he's just disassembled i assume this man's naked because he has nowhere to keep his clothes is that what happens or he's wearing all his clothes like joey when he wears all of chandler's clothes yes but his own clothes that's

another completely different we've hit a bit of a loop we occasionally reference something and we tend to reference it several times over have we referenced that bit of friends before we've referenced friends before well yeah it's a cultural juggernaut yeah i mean yeah you can't really get away from friends i try not to it's just too big i don't want to feel like we're relying on the star power of Friends just to get this thing off the ground, but it's worked. It's the boost we needed. Matt LeBlanc, big fan of ours.

Yeah, his personal endorsements meant a lot. Yeah, he's a big fan of ours. We're okay with him as well. Some of the stuff he's done's alright. Friends was fine. The rest of his career's a shambles. Friends. Joey, he did Joey. Yeah. He did Top Gear. Yeah, that was bad.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of Top Gear, I've got to say. Maybe it's because I don't drive. Maybe it's because I don't like the hosts I don't drive and I don't like hijinks Hijinks is bad I find them distasteful You are too sensible a man

To engage in hijinks Or cabers Any kind of escapade Yeah Anything that's at all related to adventure Shrug that off Got no adventures here Yeah

Adventures are all horrible if you're actually doing them I'm trying to think of good adventures i've had there was that time um when i was about 12 me and a few friends went to go find a dead body along the train tracks did you find it no it's too hard you can't find dead bodies very easy yeah so what a boring day thank god no one made a bullshit film and book about that right hang on that's a great film it sounds fucking dog shit you shit all over dirty dancing last week yeah another bad film with a bad message

Dirty Dancing great film Stand By Me great film why is it called Stand By Me because of the song I get but why does that relate to anything in the film because you made this point earlier yeah that it doesn't

that it's camaraderie friendship they're going through a real you know crucible coming of age experience you know when you and your friends are young and you find the body in the woods

and then Kiefer Sutherland is trying to chase down you to find the body first Kiefer Sutherland famous from Designated Survivor oh no I was talking about Designated Survivor last night why?

because I was talking to somebody why has that come up twice? I hate that that has come up twice two days in a row. I've had such a Kiefer Sutherland framed week because I was speaking to someone from work yesterday and they were talking about the fact that they

were watching Designated Survivor at the moment and I said I can't really get into it because it's been cancelled because I don't want to start a program where I know it got cancelled to the end and isn't really the ending. It's where they just kind of go oh and that's it

because we're not allowed to do anymore it's over. So you never find out who Bond the Capitol or whether he goes down in history as America's best president or if he even gets re-elected I don't know I don't know if that happens in any of the seasons

or what happens to Mike the secret service agent what? his top secret service agent in that show is called Mike I think you're talking about 24 now that's another Kiefer Sutherland bit no, Mike is his security guard have you seen

Designated Survivor? yes have you actually is it actually good no okay it kind of feels like an apology for 24 from 24 is fantastic yeah but like in that it's like torture whoever you want hoorah like and in designated survivor he's like the most like oh it's all about integrity and compromise. It's like the anti-Jack Bauer is President Kirkman. I'm Uncle Jack Bauer.

Oh, now Andy's leaving. I'm going to go do drugs. I'm Uncle Drugs. Oh, hang on a minute. I've got a plan then. So check out Designated Survivor, guys. I've got a plan. So I'm Uncle Campaign for North Africa. How?

You've got stuck on an uncle thing I thought you were just going to leave I thought that was a way out No this is my house you have to leave Fuck Okay Do you think We'll ever start the game

Yeah When two free weeks that's not acceptable we were planning that the scenario would take like six months it's now rolling

into February and we haven't started this will be four months of us doing this we haven't started the practice no there's a lot to cover what are we doing you had a gleeful moment earlier when you're reading the rule book and it says something along the lines of and you took this as like a fucking eureka moment

you like it oh it says here in the rule book the longer scenarios take 10 to 15 hours to prepare for yeah i was like the longer scenarios this is the shortest scenario the longer scenarios are like 50 turns the setup will be similar no that's why it specifies which one it's talking about this one is 6 turns not 50

and it hasn't been 15 hours it's been closer to fucking 30 no I'm actually setting up and instead we're still spending the time buying picture frames and bulk magnet orders so we can stick the game to itself

because we're worried about knocking it over yeah we're getting things ready to move fast we're doing the like foundational work are we is that what that is I have to believe that oh man

brutal it's brutal there's no fixing it we've got all the pieces down at least today did mark the milestone of us actually making decisions like real thinking sentient creatures

because the first time in our lives the first time in forever anyone get the reference? we've actually put down pieces of our own volition not just choosing what we do

we're not breaking the rules there's a bit where we've got to choose where we put down to three units put them down anywhere in Libya, put them down anywhere in Egypt so we did that today yeah it went pretty well tactical decisions

I said tactical I'm not really sure whether or not it was a good decision that I made you can make a bad tactical decision still a tactical decision

fighting a war on two fronts it's a bad idea sort of what I'm doing with this what's the other front one front is against you yeah

the other is a social life you don't have one of them because I'm doing this Well you didn't before No I did, I did We used this to fill empty time in our lives I was a social butterfly

Everyone loved me You were an anti-social moth I'm an uncle social moth Fuck's sake Oh why are all the moths leaving God I hate you so much They're flying away from the light You walked directly into that one

Yeah, it's ennui, but I shouldn't have to avoid it. More like ennui, because I've got a good feeling about this. It's not the opposite of ennui. Yeah, it is. Ennui. What? You're just trying to co-opt my joke. Yes, I did it wrong.

You thief of fucking comedy. It wasn't comedy. It was more of a verbal tic. You thief of poetry. Poetry's worse. Poetry's great. Fine, poetry's bullshit What about poetry's bullshit?

It's They're just songs But the person writing them isn't talented enough To write the music behind them Rap? No The thing is, I knew I'd catch you there Because you like rap

You don't like poems? No, because there's music to rap I don't like rap where a guy Monotonally reads out some bullshit where it rhymes at the end and it's about like how winter is actually his feelings or something poetry doesn't rhyme all the time

but that did but it's always rubbish eh no no we don't agree on that name one good poem stopping by woods on a snow evening I mean that's literally exactly the thing I just

mentioned about how it is bullshit emotions yeah I thought that was the poem you were making a reference no i'm making reference to all poetry that's a brilliant poem beautiful poem yes it might be the best poem ever in fact it's just worse than every other form of media than every other form of media or art or self-expression so you think that all of shakespeare's sonnets are worse than wallace and gromit curse of the were-rabbit yes undoubtedly that's not even like a me making an opinion to like annoy you i wish we were recording these like video for these because the excitement

on your face there have you seen that are you a big wallace and gromit fan i've not seen it yet but it will be better oh what the hell justifies the reaction that your face just had to me talking about that particular claymation cartoon there's no reason for your face to do what it just did It's just that you picked the most cliched, boring poetry ever and then competed with Wallace and Gromit. Like, are you an idiot? Do you know anything about Wallace and Gromit? Give me five facts about Wallace and Gromit right now.

I'm timing you. You've got a minute. Okay, Gromit's the dog. Wallace is the man. Right, that's two. He has a Rube Goldberg machine where he slides down his bed and lands on his pants and his toast pops up. They once went to the moon.

The moon? They went to the Mune Because they were looking for Wensleydale cheese But it turned out not to be made of cheese And he once made some robot pants That caused all sorts of hijinks No that's two pants related Rube Goldberg machines You're going to have to go for a fifth

That's different It's not a Rube Goldberg machine No you need a fifth one you've got 20 seconds They love tea No they don't And Wensleydale cheese on crackers No you've already mentioned Wednesday the 8th You've got 5 seconds

5 seconds Andy There's a werewolf in one Or like a werechicken or something The wererabbit We just fucking mentioned it The curse of the wererabbit No you don't get that Because what that is is short term memory loss

See a doctor All you've done there is self diagnosed Well you gave me a fact And I used it You didn't use it you forgot it You forgot the thing that started this whole conversation That's mad, absolutely crazy behaviour Alright, now name five good things

About Shakespeare's sonnets No Because there isn't I just refuse to Also, let's re-examine Shakespeare's legacy for a minute Why does he get credit for making up words? Well, because back then That was a big thing

Yeah, so back then someone was reading it And it was like, hello And it's just nonsense Well I believe that Shakespeare If everyone gets on board and is like Yes this is a real word now That's just bullshit I believe he invented the word assassination

He didn't Pretty sure he did No it's That's from Hashashin's shirt Dope smoking Muslim cult In like the 4th century Then it might have been the word assassin

He invented one of them Which is just a derivative of Hashashin I mean yeah He invented one of them So he misheard An Islamic word And then that's him inventing a word Yeah

I constantly mishear and misspeak I'm not inventing language Yeah you are But no one fucking cares So why do they care about him He was really important Now He's just something for school teachers to like talk about

you know what we've got a fucking cheek saying that when we're doing this yeah and i'm sure this will be taught in schools in like 600 years and the pupils will hate it people won't be listening to this now let alone in the future they'll find it like a little time capsule this is a time capsule of two people going absolutely insane you know what the wild thing is we spend four to five hours playing the game before playing the game organizing the game setting up the game then we record this and it's got nothing to do with the game but we'll only do this once we've done that yeah it's tangentially related to the game it's like we're getting this little treat where we get to sit and have a conversation because one day hopefully the

game will be full enough that this is worth doing directly after well that's it today was a particularly drab one but i feel like in future because today we got to make some decisions in terms of where we put some stuff down i'm going to be a lot more excited when there's a more you know sort of a bigger feeling of animosity between us yeah well when the game starts there'll be some fights straight away yeah we'll be able to immediately decide that we're angry at each other because of actions taken in the game yeah which will be good i'm looking forward to that i think not be an objectively better experience than this. Because we are.

We're strapped for ideas. It's not going well. This is crazy. Yeah. It's good fun. Yeah, I'm enjoying it. And you're to blame. If you're listening, you're to blame. We can see the numbers. Stop turning on the lights.

We can see the numbers. We can see that you're listening. You must stop this. So that's why we're doing it. No. We see that you're listening. Pervert. We can't call them perverts. Of course we can. Voyeuristic approach. Is that the name of our fans, the perverts?

The perverts. No, it can't be. We'll call them. Well, actually, we'll get some fans first and then we'll decide what to call them. Maybe they can name themselves if anyone ever emails this address. Which is info at warvermade.co.uk.

Do we have a no reply sort of function to the email where it just bounces them back? No, because I wasn't getting the emails from joe at rss.com. Get in touch with us at mailerdaymondotinfo. The email address, because you've clearly forgotten, is info at warwithamate.co.uk. So fire over an email. Whatever the email is, if you fire it over,

we will address it in probably two weeks' time, because we have a bit of a stagger with these releases. although we have been asking for emails for about a month so yeah so we've put this out here send us over an email and if you have already when you're hearing this we haven't got any as

of recording so that's why we're not reading it out but if you send it over we'll read it if it's about the game we'll read it enthusiastically as well and answer we'll answer anything ask about the game ask what it's like because we don't have the

capacity to creatively talk about it unless there's a prompt. So prompt us please. Give us something please. So what was the thing you wanted to say about Stand By Me? Oh, it's a good film.

That was it? I think so. Because we were about to record and you started talking and you went, no, I'll save this for the pod. It's a good film. Oh no, it's a spin-off sort of story that I had that ties into it and I'll I'll probably just tell you it afterwards.

It's not for the perverts. That can't be what they call it. We can't call people who listen to our podcast about a massive board game perverts. That's so far detached from what we're doing. All right, well, we'll brainstorm. We'll cut them back. Is there anything else you want to say, Andy?

Have we covered it all today? all of the exciting topics relating to the campaign for north africa yeah like how shakespeare bullshit yeah that's a subset of all poetry being shakespeare's fine when he's not writing poems actually so poetry bullshit play is good to watch i think reading plays pointless i'm with you on that i'm with you on that reading a play bad idea watch it instead yeah just watch the film sit down and watch it they've made most of shakespeare's stuff into films now you know what we've we've had this a couple times now where we find a middle ground yeah maybe that's how we should end all of these by finding some compromise yeah okay let's find the middle ground so shakespeare

fine for plays fine for plays but poetry as an entire art form bullshit we've not agreed on that What we have agreed on is players, don't read them, watch them. That's what you need. There you go. That's the truce. Today's truce is that. And I think we can

go to bed merry now. You can go watch a play. Should we go watch a play? I'm looking forward to the next play I watch should be the one you promised me. Let's not bring that up again. But you owe me a play. I might owe you a play

I'll do you a sonnet instead that couldn't be more of what I don't want how do I count the ways tell me on your fingers maybe using an abacus you heard it here first folks you can use an abacus to count

and that is it that's it we're done let's run right quickly that's already get away right Andy

last wrap up really quick really quick stay humble subtle and brave stay humble subtle and brave and abacus

you can use to count and don't don't replace watch them instead that's that's good good night

good night farewell yeah you don't call them that don't call them that they're lovely

people I'm sure they don't watch through anyone's windows bye you