War With A Mate - Episode 13: The Way Old Back Times

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

THEY’VE STARTED. No really, this time they have! The game is afoot and there’s no stopping this momentum apart from the game itself; or repetitive tangents about metaphors. A particularly heightened Common Ground segment gives a peek into Andy’s enigmatic mind and James suffers yet again from physical ailment.

there we go a big clap so hello and welcome to war with a mate yeah hi it's us it's us again how you doing how you being much to update this week james uh no no okay that's not why wow yeah uh i just got here okay someone who looks a lot like he has been in my house for quite a while yeah yeah i know him he's a he's a swell guy okay i'm like him but i'm just a lot more tired i'm very very i've got a very bad back now after today really badly injured from setting up a board game yeah setting it up for hours we did a full day today big long day good way to spend the weekend if you ask me we have we've and we can actually say it this time and mean it we've started the game as in the actual turn we're part way through the first

turn now. We've ticked stuff off. Yeah. The game has begun. The game is afoot. Ah-ah! Okay. That's, uh, yeah. Little victory squawk. Because I think I'm winning so far.

Well, you did blindside me this session. Yes, I did. I caught you off guard. I was very unhappy about that. So, for the uninitiated, I suppose we'll do a bit of a recap this time, since we're actually into it we are two guys two subtle humble brave gentlemen who have decided to take on the herculean

task of playing spi's the campaign for north africa a very very long game that no one's ever beaten or at least no one's documented and proven that they've beaten it we're going to do that it's going to take an estimated eight years as time passes i think it's probably going to be longer than that yeah classic sort of estimate with anything when the project actually starts oh we have severely underestimated this and well i'm james and you're you're randy yeah you're randy that's your name yeah and we we're giving it a jolly good go we've got the game set up we started playing the first turn of a practice run we're going to do a practice run which is six turns 6 of the 111

real turns and then when we finish that we're going to start again and do the whole thing in one big go and it's coming along it looks beautiful doesn't it we're sat on the floor because it's taken up all of the surface space

either the board goes on the floor or we do and we are the board always wins it's like the house I've got a sort of got this little this little lady here why are you fidgeting with dnd minis yeah it's also not great podcast material is it that it's visual and unrelated i've got a little gnome in my hand it's a little gnome woman from a dnd game pop her away otherwise i'll just fiddle and get distracted

i've i've had plenty of little game pieces to play with all day and i've not been interested in them at all but they're not shaped like a little gnome that's good to hear i've been i've been disinterested in this what i've what i've been doing a lot of and you've been doing a lot of is worrying about the trucks the trucks yeah they're scary they're the game the trucks are so scary we thought that we misunderstood the trucks when we started to play because we've got through oh we can just talk about the the stuff we did yeah let's do a step-by-step right okay so uh i got here okay not that granular right okay um all right we played the game okay let's find a middle ground let's let's zoom in all right okay let's let's dial it in a little bit let's crank

that dial but yeah that's the dial cranking initiative determination yes so that was how the turn starts so the very first thing that is the very first thing isn't it yeah we determine the initiative and the initiative is in this situation the game just tells you because it's a little mini scenario so i as the man on the back foot i think for this one i get the initiative which means i get to choose each turn each stage of each turn who goes first and we talked about this last week yeah and the week before as well yeah and i was i was going to pick myself yeah you consistently said that and that i was going to go first i was going to bite the bullet i was gonna dive in headfirst and i decided today no you can do it yes that's a it's a moment of panic

where i thought oh at least i'll see what he's doing and react to it nope i'm going first then i thought actually i want to do that i want to see how the game works first so you you go ahead you do that and you did and then the the thing that happened right after that strategic air yes yes we figure out where our planes are going to go what they're going to do turns out mine are not going to do anything because i don't start with any planes in the right place to do anything so because of that i ended up not having anything to do for most of today in terms of the actual gameplay it was mostly watching you figure out what you're allowed to do and then after that you you sent your planes yep off on a little mission yep then that's moving into the naval convoy stage

yeah second stage yeah well actually that was after i planned out the naval convoy so i had to decide what resources are being shipped where so i'm sending off some some food and ammunition to to brook a little bit of a little bit of stuff to benghazi and tripoli and i'm still very unsure as to whether i'm pronouncing any of the places correctly oh we've never promised to pronounce anything correctly no no i sometimes get your name wrong to be honest i mean yeah that does jessica that's wildly wrong uh okay is it a there's like an umlaut isn't there in your name no right who am i thinking of i don't know probably one of the guys who ran the army you're representing that's true yeah i'm not representing by the way trying to sneak that

on in there didn't you no thank you so you sent your your planes away to try and track down my boats and you came up snake eyes didn't find any boats which meant the naval convoysage was very short because there was no bombing involved which is great because we're doing this as a practice for him to see how the rules work and there's just big swathes of the game we can't do because i don't start with the planes in the right places to try it out and you didn't find my boats to then bomb them so we thought this game is going a lot faster than we thought it was we're already a few steps in and it's just the first day of actually going through the day the turn yeah and then lo and behold we hit a roadblock trucks the trucks they are

oh the truck there's so much to do with the trucks but we did get a bit overwhelmed and panicked ourselves more than we needed to because yeah we had quite a bit of a back and forth where we thought we were going to have to track every single truck individually even if it was attached to other stuff which it turns out we don't we don't need to do that which makes it somewhat doable management wise absolutely so i'm just making sure my microphone is on properly because it looks like i'm quieter than usual not sure what that's all about oh well we'll see how this comes out in the wash yeah just to listen after you've jammed up to compensate yeah let's not

oh no everything's working fine here must be you whoever's listening it's something wrong with your headset so so pop them out throw the headphones away and listen to this for speakers listen to this out loud in public preferably people need to hear this that's how people find out about podcasts. You overhear it being played loudly in public forum. Yeah, on like a bus, and then they go, I'll give that a listen. Yeah, that's how I find most things, to be honest. I just eavesdrop.

Eavesdrop on people on the bus? Yeah, that's where some of the most interesting things happen. Buying bus tickets, getting to destinations. A bit like the trucks, except you don't have to buy a ticket. We already got our ticket.

A ticket to Funtown. Cost a lot more than fucking busting it yeah this is an expensive thing to buy and waste our time on but the good thing is we are now less worried about the trucks because we got everything wrong turns out that the trucks are actually easier than we we thought they were to keep track of yeah because we are had developed an instinct which i think is justifiable of whenever anything isn't clear it's the most painstaking and annoying way possible. Well, yeah. It just happened to not be the

case with trucks. We've had to adapt to that because that's been the case with everything else in this game, where we look at it and go, well, it would be sensible for it to work this way, and then there's a paragraph or several pages about why it doesn't work that way, because they want to be more accurate or just to sort of waste time.

Yeah, the original pranksters SPI. There were no pranks before them. Whoopie Cushions came out in 84. is that true no okay fragrant lie and that kind of deception is how i'm going to beat you at this game tell me incorrect facts about toys yeah it's not a toy it's a it's a you know it's a joke apparatus yeah a toy no joke apparatus different the toy is it for it to be a toy

it needs to have um at least one sound effect and a handle and a handle yeah that's toys for you You got a handle? Yeah, well, maybe it's a cup. Does it have sound effects? No, it is a cup. Well done. A mug. That's a fun flowchart.

Yeah. Well, I'm, yeah, something of an engineer. Someone's got to badly make things. Yeah. Yeah, there's a badly made podcast I hear about the campaign for North Africa. Oh, someone else is doing one. Oh, God, I hope not.

I hope not. If you are, please, please don't. sign over the rights to us we'll take it over we're gonna merge be great i have more people doing this so we're gonna have some time off yeah delegate we could be the commanders in chief other people have to have to do this yeah churchill up and send five guys to handle this for me yeah yeah that would be that would be handy because then we could just do a churchill and smoke lots of big cigars drink lots of whiskey yeah and yeah i don't really know much about what he did beyond that to be honest he gets quotes attributed to him that's true well it's

mostly stuff he said in it i don't know i i get the impression people are like that's a cool thing let's say churchill said it yeah he's got we've got that sort of you know that vibe about him doesn't he yeah he looks like a cartoon character so people like attached up to him that's do you think anyone who looks like a cartoon character immediately gets some sort of historic grace and position kind of yeah no no no well you need to be able to be like caricatured simply do you know anyone who looks like a cartoon character well like in real life yeah no oh okay do you i don't think so just racking my brain there which is like do i know any funny oh yeah there's dave with a head like stewie griffin ah poor poor guy that sounds like it's that's horrible yeah hard to

walk through doorways i would imagine if you had a stewie griffin head yeah especially it was proportional still yeah yeah oh well trials and tribulations we all have them and ours is this game but i think uh the the biggest trial and tribulation is my back my back hurts a lot look your back's gonna hurt playing this game what doesn't help by the way is that when i hunched over on the floor speaking these microphones propped up on you've got what's that the lord of the rings box set extended edition oh extra bit of height yeah because of course in the extended edition they make the discs twice as thick well that's two discs for every film oh really they're actually all right okay fair enough i'm very sorry for being facetious

um and then you've also got other that's your that's all of your men yeah underneath all of your soldiers you're using the pieces of the game to prop up everything else yeah that's impressive I've got a couple of shoe boxes, two Uggs, two Ugg boxes, they're not mine, I didn't purchase any Uggs, I purchase shoes that seem to fall apart every few weeks and then I have to buy another pair, I won't bother you with that, that's my cross to bear, yeah, there's actually some D&D minis in here I think, I was going to shake it, don't shake it, one the mic's on it until it'll make a load of noise. No, no,

it'll be fine. Why does this look so quiet? God, this is gonna be awkward if it's really, really quiet. I'm gonna just tilt the microphone. Is that any better? It'll be a fun edit. Is this picking up anything correctly? This is... Oh, it's risky. It's risky business.

I guess we'll find out when you come and edit this. Yeah, this could be a really bad one. Well, yeah, anything you want to talk about in the game that made you feel any particular way today? No, I'm just feeling good about the game overall still. It feels

really good to just be in a turn. Yeah. The fact that we've tried it out and it wasn't that scary. It's like skydiving I would imagine. Never tried it. I'm scared. Never will. Never will. Never will. But I also used to

say I will never play SPI as the campaign for North Africa. I actually, I think when you found out about it you immediately had the idea for the podcast I immediately wanted to play it because when it got brought up we were both in the room, someone else had brought it up and then

we reconvened a few weeks later and I told you that I kept on thinking about the game couldn't get it off my mind and you admitted you'd also been thinking about the game a little bit and then there it was concocted this So someone came into our lives gave us this horrible thing and then

left that's it that's it well that there were going to be three of us yeah it was going to be uh it was going to be we were going to have a bootkeeper which in hindsight was someone was going to do all our way oh we nearly got to be churchill we nearly got our churchill moment oh drats we're just gonna have to do this ourselves no one else is allowed to help or be involved okay this is just for us that takes some help actually you know what you can't be involved either just for me winning's gonna be easier but it will take considerably longer i'm also i'm gonna do it at your house still i hope that's all right it's not right okay so

so you better pack all this shit up and get out all this shit this is art it's actually in picture frames now it does look really nice yeah it's like a nice little nice little decorative piece it's going up on the wall in 10 years why we'll still be playing 10 years we'll still have 14 turns to go that's not by any calculation other than you got your hands there realizing what we're doing is silly i did have that moment a few times today but for the most part the fact that it's actual measurable progress and we don't have to convince ourselves we've made progress it feels good, it's sort of softened the blow Yeah, well you've spent the last

spent the last several weeks saying we've started because you wanted to feel a sense of progress Absolutely So now we've actually started, you must be feeling good Let's just quickly pause so I can check that the audio is working Ah, audio seems fine

Never mind, false alarm Yeah That's what happens live radio, anything can happen like they stop it go and do something else and then restart when they left off yeah, that would make the radio much better

give it some production value yeah, I mean it needs it yeah, radio's bad yeah, that's why they made podcasts for people like us for gentlemen to keep idiots busy

well, idle hands are the devil's plaything. But they also make light work. But it's important that it's referred to as plaything because, of course, hands don't have handles. Or sound effects. So they're not toys. They're playthings. Playthings can be

anything made out of skin. It's anything that's not a toy and made of skin. That's, uh... Yeah, that's the flowchart. I don't make the rules. I just read the charts. That's basically what the game is. It is a bunch of charts. no flowcharts no flowcharts no but my god does it flow flows like a like the mighty amazon

oh that reminds me did you have any update on your your book arriving because you ordered a book from amazon didn't you and it's oh i i stopped myself ordering it oh right because of the delivery time frame yeah because for some reason an indian cookbook has a three to seven month delivery time that's absurd yeah what a weird time window yeah i don't i don't understand how they've managed to measure that so in the next three months it could be ready that feels like the delivery equivalent of i don't know yeah that's that's that's vague it's not good it's not accurate and we're all about accuracy which is why we've got we've got big ledgers now that we were taking notes in

throughout the game. Fancy lads. Yeah, yeah. They were buy one, get one free. So, £10. Yeah. Anyone out there looking for a ledger? Go for it.

I'm not giving free advertisement out. I'm not going to name... To the ledger people. I'm not going to name the shop I bought them from. No, that's good, yeah. They don't get to know it. It's not for them.

They can't have them. They can't have them. We've got ledgers, you don't. them and start their own podcast that's the barrier that entry you need uh you need a really complex board game you need two ledgers and you need just a little a little uh the x factor is what i would call it a dream yeah both a dream and the x-factor an extreme an extreme an x-rated dream that's where i got this idea it's one of those uh an x-rated dream yeah uh you weren't involved good it was um i mean if you're fine if you don't want to be no involved in your sex

dreams yeah sorry x-rated not sex oh sorry violent no no so what is it language well it was sexually charged people were swearing yeah it really freaked me out i was like oh i don't want to have that dream i need to occupy my mind with something else need to occupy the deserts of my mind and that's when i had the idea oh no what an awful awful origin story no it's brilliant it's brilliant and but at the time i wanted to call this something completely different yeah thank god you didn't you didn't let me call it what i wanted to call it it wasn't a bad name it didn't make sense i wanted this to be called the elephant just doesn't make a lick of sense yes it does it's from the adage to eat an elephant to eat

the elephant there's only one way to eat it one bite at a time and that's what the game would be one big thing that we're doing little chunks there's only one way to eat an elephant over eight years yeah it would take a long time to eat an elephant i could get one down pretty quick bullshit. I could eat a full elephant in a year. That's not quick. It's significantly quicker than this game we're doing. Yeah, but

it's not. It's also a lot of meat for a year. The game also doesn't have a trunk while we're comparing things. It's a metaphor, Andy. Yeah, so it's a bad name. No, everything that's good is a metaphor. There's not one good literal thing in the world.

What? Name one thing that's literal but good. Literature. Literature is mostly metaphor Non-fiction books They still use metaphors to get the point across Not good ones Yeah they do Because metaphors are lies and that's the type of fiction

We talked about metaphors last time Yeah I didn't know what they were We're caught in a bit of a loop We're running out of material What a really short loop 13 in and we're running out of material Talking about metaphors twice Like a bunch of poets

That's basically what we are we've got beautiful prose another group if you'll remember I have no respect for poets well I think we should probably since we've been so heated today me catching you off guard

with the initiative you looking for my boats and not finding them again another win in my column I've just had a great time but maybe we'll just need to reconvene a little bit and find some common ground What do you think? Yeah, I've got something I'd like us to agree on.

Alright, so... And I'd like this to be the... Oh, okay, yeah, do the intro. Well, the intro, it's probably already happened now. No, play it now. And now for something nicer. A little oasis in the war. It's time for some common ground.

I'm trying the intro for common ground. I'm recording it. Maybe. Yeah. and we're good and we're back from the intro yeah we've just had to play it twice you have to though no no i can't this this bit's a lie so common ground this is something i'd like you to agree with me on and then i'd like us to start a movement to make everyone agree with this opinion oh wow so this is a common ground that's also audience participation ideally yes this is

gonna spread okay okay no more private cat ownership right okay cats on municipal property all right you're not allowed to let them in your house or feed them they're there to deal with the city's rats and birds sorry deal with the birds yeah like pigeons and stuff right but what's the what do you mean deal with sorry so if i'm gonna get on board with there's a pest there's pest problems just in general yeah rats pigeons right the cats because they'll be hungry because they're not being fed will kill all of them thus reducing the pest population because cats have had it too easy for too long right sorry so this actually sounds a little bit more pointed that it's you've got something against cats well cats we originally got on board with cats back in the way way old

back times see this is why metaphors are important no continue that that is true we got on board with them to like kill stuff for us like barn cats and then we let the cats fool us into thinking we should just let them like basically live the lives we want to

so cats you're earning your keep again maybe in 20 to 30 years when there's no more rats and pigeons left you can come back inside sorry just a point to touch on that again just to understand the psychology behind this because this is quite fascinating you said they're living the life we want to live yeah could you elaborate they don't they just lie around and sleep all day people care for them for no real reason even though they don't contribute they don't have to like go to work easy easy life right okay okay i see i see some of the appeal of that thankfully that's not the common ground point you raised because i'm not sure i agree that i want to live like a cat all right so i can see some positives

to this you get a lot of people who enjoy being around cats you know i see a cat i'd like to pet the cat the issue is if i pet a cat and then touch my face i tend to get all sniffly i'm only allergic if it's like contact so as long as i admire from afar then i'm all right so that would be beneficial to me if i could just occasionally look at a cat go ah there we go there's a cat nearby that's a nice cat but knowing that i respect it because it's got a job as a member of society yeah yeah okay no i can see that uh so i suppose what happens to all of the cats that are currently pets they are let out they're let out yeah and they now belong to the state okay so does that mean that part of my national insurance now goes towards cat

it goes towards enforcing people not letting cats in their house or caring for them and how how are we policing that exactly it's like the licenses people they'll come around knock on the door oi oi have a look around see if there's any evidence of cats in use so just a really toothless agent arriving asking if they can come in and when you say no they just have to leave yeah also we'll go through social media we'll go through social media and stuff and find anyone posting too many pictures of the same cat so you're like an insurance company trying to try to figure out if someone's lied about having a cat having a cat yeah okay i i do i do definitely see some merit to this i don't think it's inherently a bad idea i think it would probably need a bit of

refining but who knows maybe if this is a community effort whoever's listening to this can message in their thoughts at info at war with a mate.co.uk info at war with a mate.co.uk is where you can let us know a bit of information about whether or not this is a viable option are you are you loading up our emails there see what we've got in the inbox no nothing nothing nothing all right so that means that either the the figures of listeners are all bots or people just aren't understanding what i'm saying when i say send us an email or and i'm going to confirm this afterwards we've been saying the wrong email yeah did you not get our reply mailer damon it's our auto reply we send it to everybody who sends us an email because unfortunately we've

been giving you the wrong email no it's it's not it's the right email address okay good i think i've got no way to prove that only only you can people list well i guess we could test it and send an email i did and i got one oh right so it did come through yeah right okay so Well, I think No one wants to get in touch Well, for Common Ground, that was good We've reached that Common Ground Oh, so you're on board

I'm on board with this being something that can be workshopped by the community Okay, I'll set up a working group and we'll get that passed through Parliament These things are just meant to be contained as a little fun segment in the podcast, they're not meant to be ruled out as political manifest

Well, I just took it as getting you to agree with one of my batch of beliefs and then propagating that well the thing is the kind of the thing that gives me an interesting little insight into your mind is that i asked you about 10 minutes before we started recording if you had your common ground idea yeah and you went oh shit no so then you've thought on the fly of this particular idea this is something that was already in your psyche it's been bouncing around in there that's you know what fair enough i'm a societal architect who doesn't get to play with his canvas i should be in charge of the nation no i'm not sure you should it would be interesting i mean yes it would be interesting it would be a really fun week before i get cued no i think

you'd be killed oh okay you'd be you'd be put down in the streets like a i don't know what Saddam. I've got to put down the street. Saddam. Saddam Hussein. Yeah. Gaddafi. All right.

So you're comparing yourself to two figures who are not held in high regard. Well, we're talking about dictators who died in the street. I feel dictators who are held in high regard don't get murdered by their population. Andy, nobody said anything about dictators, so that's another little blank you filled in there. You said I'd be in charge for a week. That's not usually how... Dictators tend to have a fairly good run for the most part. Yeah, you put a week on me.

yeah i i'm sorry man are you thinking they'd hold a flash election to remove me after a week no again i think they'd kill you in the streets oh okay i just don't think your ideas are not going to then cats could eat my body that's not so you're a pest as well by your own definition i guess the birds the rats the dead dictators all the things that the cats need to deal with yeah is that is that the plot of the musical cats yeah it's about a bunch of cats who get kicked out of their houses by a civil ordinance and set out to kill the mayor the mayor is a very um sort of low level not even regional yeah regional yeah uh figurehead to be the antagonist in such a big scheme yeah but they're cats i suppose yeah it's it's it's

all relative they have limited capabilities well as you know from the uh the cravendale advert they don't have thumbs they had thumbs would be fucked yeah that is good and if they had thumbs they'd be able to play with toys that's a good point which have handles which you need thumbs for exactly the sound effects you know that's happenstance do you think it'd be difficult to give a cat thumbs with like genetic engineering um it's probably in the works it's probably like a gene for the thumb the thumb gene that's the x factor yeah and you take that from like a guy and put it on a cat who's got two thumbs and isn't a cat my genetically modified dog stop doing experiments on on dogs okay there's wow so you're next or people next you'd be a bad

dictator. This game has really warped your mind. Now you want to give thumbs to cats, you sick fuck. Yeah, that's fine. No, that's bad. They don't deserve to have thumbs by your own admission. No, they get thumbs

when they get let back in. Okay, okay. No, I'm fine with that. There's no real issue with that, to be honest. Just not while they're lazing about. No. They shouldn't have it gifted to them. Yeah. No, I'm on board with that. I'm going to

quickly check my ledger and see if there was anything about today of note that I can refer to. No. On the first page, you are called a sucker at one point. Oh, nice. It's interesting. Why? It's mostly because

I got to... Oh, someone spilled something. That's that's impressive we're on the floor and you've managed to spill over your your hiney zero percent yeah yeah yeah that's yeah that's it you just use your clothes in my defense in my defense in a normal play the beer would be on the table not getting knocked over yeah but still it's you've still got plenty of room on the floor there's enough room on the floor that we

could play the game on it no we thought it should have an elevated status yeah and then we put yeah okay just because it's raised doesn't mean we have all the floor space we've got a lot of floor space got some i could do i could do exercises here what exercises are you yeah firing off in here i could do a jumping jack i doubt it just the one i could i'm tempted to jump and your legs would split, but they wouldn't come back together in time. And they'd just be stuck like that. Stuck in the air. Suspended

for all of time. Ooh, that'd be horrible. What a way to go. Well, just suspended in time. Yeah. I guess you're not really gone. You're there forever. It's quite beautiful. Something to aim for. Poetry. It's not poetry.

It didn't rhyme, and it was good. Oh, dear. why i'm i'm just i'm thrilled that we're we're in it because now we started the journey yeah it's not it's not us flapping trying to figure out how to how to play the game we're doing it now we're playing the game this is what we've been waiting playing the game i'm trying to figure out how to do it yeah we're multitasking this is a wild endeavor we could actually say we tell people we've played this game now and not be lying yeah when we say we've played the game we don't mean that we've read the rule book and then sat and read the rule book and then

talked about metaphors two weeks in a row it's wild that we still we talked a lot about the game last time yeah considerably less today even though yeah we've got through more but unfortunately because i didn't find any of your ships that whole segment is empty we i really hope that doesn't happen frequently where we just miss huge parts of the game never get to play test it and then we go into the real thing and then suddenly i'm just rolling it here every time yeah well that'll be that'll be bad for me because i want to i want to ship all of my things to all of my men i'm not gonna lie it's not up to you it's up to the dice it's up to chance the most beautiful force there is chance and gravity a strong nuclear force a strong nuclear force yeah that's the nicest force

Nicest or best? Both I think gravity's quite nice It's trying to hold you down Yeah, that's a good point Very oppressive It's the bad force Gravity, you dog

Dirty dog Had me thinking that you're a nice guy You're actually dragging me down Gravity is the cats of forces Oh, wow I'm so sore and tired My back hurts so much I feel like I'm permanently hunched over now

I was relatively fine before we started recording But my right leg has gone asleep I was wondering why you were in that pose Sort of poking your leg out It's still asleep though Can you raise both hands? No Right then

I'm so scared You should be I inherit your home when you die yeah that's fine I mean I don't care I'm dead yeah that's true we do need to sort out

nominations for who's going to finish this if we die early oh that's a good point actually yeah any volunteers let us know email us you never do come on man but also please someone just send an email saying

this exists. No, it's fine. I don't even want an email. Okay. I don't care. I don't bother. It's fine. You don't seem fine. Yeah, it's fine. It's just funny how No.

It's the case we do need some sort of legacy to be continued should we perish along the way. Yeah. I feel like if one of us died, we'd probably die together. Why? You know, a bit like the Smiths song. No.

A double-decker bus crashes into us. The wheels on the bus. To die by your side. It's not what that song's about. It's getting creamed by a bus with your beloved. Getting what? Creamed by a bus. Creamed by a bus.

Certainly not creamed by a bus. And what song? What? What song? The wheels on the bus? No, the song you were mentioning by the Smiths. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

well it's about you know how it would be like if I die with you in a road traffic accident that would be beautiful no I'd like to be widowed multiple times why why what a horrible

a horrible ambition you have yeah it's not great have a life partner and be happy man don't wait for them to die to the point five no no it's not that's not a good that's not a good ghoul to have it doesn't feel like you're going

to be fully invested in these relationships if you're waiting for them to die off like some sort of modern day henry the eighth yeah at least it'll be an easy rhyme to remember how the wives went died died died died beheaded that's the week i'm king yeah no wonder they get you in the street you madman so what's he done he's made private ownership illegal and killed his wife two things that do these are gearing up to be a concerning first hundred days yeah yeah a week is actually far too long the body count shouldn't be anything after a week. Deary me.

Leave them alone. The cats. The wives. The cat's wives. The wife's cat? Well, she can't have a cat. We've been over this. This game's taken it out of me today. It really has. But it's been a fun one. It's felt like

you know, I'm trying to think of a metaphor. It's been like a lovely day. That's a similar thing. You fucking idiot. my back's so sore is that why you keep your words in my coccyx

I'd like my coccyx to be bigger as well I'd like a tail if we're just saying things we want you want it to be bigger you could try some coccyx enlargement pills won't work on the penis but they will give you a tail

yeah They're not really branded as that The pun doesn't really work You don't hear of cock enlargement pills They'd probably sell better They probably do You probably can't buy them They don't work but you can buy them

You sound like a man who's very in tune Finger on the pulse I'm 6k down the making my dick big hole And there's no growth in sight Too deep in the hole oh no this has become so juvenile talking about getting a bigger

willy and giving thumbs to cats sitting on the floors for cresters really has are just children oh dear this game is so complicated and vast and this is such a big

project we've committed to and we're just not taking it very seriously are we I would like to apologize to anyone who's a board game enthusiast who thought this would be, I don't know, illuminating about a game they're not going to get a chance to play. Yeah, sorry for tricking you.

If you are listening at this point, it's probably not because you enjoy anything about the game. And it's probably also not, I don't know why you're here, just inertia. You just, it's on your feed now on Spotify. New episode out. You know, I may as well. So good to shake them

out of that, eh? Yeah. oh sorry I've opened their eyes to it listener count dropping this week oh good well I

I think that's I think that's it because we're just clearly regressing in what we're talking about we've got nothing to say about the game because we've only

we're skipping past so much of it because we keep on rolling in ways that don't mean just mean things don't happen we've just got to

put all those trucks together and yeah that's pretty much it pretty much it we've got trucks to sort out

and then the actual fighting against. Fight, yeah. We have a real bare-knuckle brawl in your living room. And then play the game. Now that's X-rated. Why? I don't know. It's violent. I guess. Yeah. Oh, well,

you've been great. Thanks for listening, and like I say, I don't even care about the email, so you know, it's fine. I would like so much. Yeah, Andy would like some. You gonna let him down? You gonna let Andy down? Because if you don't, I will focus my attention on politics.

Oh god, no, make sure you placate him. Keep me stuck to this Oh, he is indeed the devil's plaything Well, we'll leave it at that and yeah catch us next time when we talk a little bit about the game and more about

anything that crosses our minds. I'm gonna go have a lie down, try and fix my back I'm gonna shake some life into this leg I thought you said the pills weren't working Well, it's dead Well, on that bombshell, off we go fairly well night night stay subtle humble and brave yeah good night