War With A Mate - Episode 87: That Takes The Biscuit

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

It’s over. The victor declared, and the Six-Turn practice scenario finally concluded after 22 long months. Join Andy and James as they wrap up the decidedly odd conclusive session of play, voyage out to collect the prize, and have an overdue confrontation with a guest on the sofa.

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Because we have your number. Well, here we are. Finally, after nearly two years, it's the end of the practice scenario. It's done. Finally. god i've been waiting for this day for a long long time just about two years between eight nearly 90 episodes is this episode 90 and this will be we should probably know this but yep whatever it is it's the end and through history segments common grounds fruit zones

mailbags, one live show it's finally wrapped up so I suppose all that's left to do now is get into the conclusion of the practice scenario of the campaign for North Africa the first two years of War with a Mate

let's do it Hello Hello, one and all, and welcome to War with a Mate with me, James. Me, Andy. This is the day we've been waiting a long time for. It's the end. Practice scenario's over. It is.

At long, long last. Andy, how do you feel? Good. It's rare you finish a two-year-long sort of project. Yeah, it's been a real doozy. It was 30th of October that we first came across the game. Yeah. That's when we found the listing on eBay.

We'd found out about it like a week beforehand. The game, of course, being SPI's The Campaign for North Africa, a board game that has no documented recordings of the full game being completed. We're going to change that. And we thought, six-turn practice run to begin with. How long can that take? Well, the answer is from November until now. Yeah.

November is when the game arrived, and today is when we finished it. so that's how long that's six turns of the full 111 that the game consists of and yes we will be repeating these first six when we go into the full thing but for now i suppose the important thing to do is to recap and go over just how this ended yeah so we we ended halfway through well ended halfway through your movement last time so we finished up the combat part of your turn yeah my movement was all wrapped up uh apart from the combat so that's where we opened up and we had a few fights to resolve we first of all had the battle along the escarpment yes hellfire pass and that opened up with the fourth black shirt having an engagement

with the 16th that one was a little dicey uh i could have i could have had better in that situation because that led to a was that hang on a minute am i getting my things right was that even the yeah that was the fourth black shirts yeah yeah immediately looking at my notes and doubting myself but it was the fourth down there yeah it's the it's the the other guys up at the top at first yeah they had a showdown with the 16th and that really should have went in my favor given the escarpment yeah i mean it did in terms of the role i think the of like the column the table did Because was it minus 7 or something like that? I don't think that one was quite as bad.

I think that was minus 4, if. Yeah. And the outcome of that fight was that I lost 15% of my guys and you lost 0. So I would have liked that to be different. Inverted, ideally. Yep.

Because when I'm attacking down an escarpment, it moves the column 1 to the right for me. Whereas conversely, if you're attacking up an escarpment, it moves left 3. Yes. So it's much better for me if you're attacking me

than i'm attacking you in that environment which makes sense it does and unfortunately it uh yeah it wasn't meant to be nor was the next fight because the next engagement we had was the 62nd and the fourth working together to go up against the fourth indian now the fourth indian they're beefy guys yes i've had some run-ins with them over the over the playthrough and that was a bit of a messy conflict that also resulted in you taking zero percent losses yep but i took a nice chunk 40 of my guys that's rough that was costly that hurt quite significantly so then we had to move on to the second libyan and the 16th yeah they'd come up behind those two guys so you had your two on top of your scalp and my guys at the bottom and then this

was the one that'd come up behind yeah they came along the beach and i was really confident that they were going to be destroyed i'd had no faith in the second libyan whatsoever and when they went up against the 16th and the fourth on their own i fired off a holding off barrage for the fourth so kept them at bay and then the 16th we went up against one to one man to man and i lost 10 still but you lost 15 yeah so that one actually worked out better for me that's after expending a ton of ammo keeping your guys back quick side tangent actually related still it's not quite that time yet um the emails that have come through we recently had one which we will get around to reading but it did ask about holding off barrages after an episode where we

recently yeah holding off barrage means that you can instead of engaging in close assault when you're required to because of proximity you can instead fire off a barrage where the actual barrage points are equal to the number of units in the enemy's yeah forces so if they've got four garrisons you need not garrisons for battalions then you need to have at least four barrage points so that's what i used that's what andy used previously so it means that you don't have to fulfill a close assault yeah which was for the best for me because if the second libyan went up against the fourth that would not be good because i was losing with the escarpment benefit yeah and this was just plain flat ground so that was the escarpment fight then we moved up to bardia yes

now in bardia we had the first libyan the first black shirts and the taproot garrison all running up against the seventh now this one was dicey this one could have went either direction and i'm amazed at how it panned out because how it panned out in the end was that i actually believe it was zero in the end it was flat yes and with those rules we both lost five percent yeah that wasn't all too bad i really expected that to be a lot worse with those guys rocking up but lo and behold no it became a nice equal squeakles five percent each yeah i was happy with that in fact andy i was so happy that that is where i ended my movement for the practice scenario Yes you did

No more second moves No extra manoeuvring about That's why I wrapped it up Which means it was all down to you Yeah I guess how are we going to Well we started It was Bardia again is how we opened up

Yeah so I moved The New Zealand Division They did a whip round The back of your escarpment guys and arrived up at Bardia next to the second black shirts? Yes.

Yes, they did. Oh, sorry. First black shirts. First black shirts. Second black shirts are the ones who were decimated. Oh, yes. And then the recon cars that were outside the brook, they went back down to Bardia to take part in that.

I think that was it pretty much. I moved a few guys around in case I needed them later, but they wouldn't have helped in the end. so then i yeah we had another fight at the escarpment i mean which went worse for me yeah well well initially we opened up it was actually the fight at bardia was the first one we did oh i was just because there's a lot of bardia i was thinking get that bit out of the

way that's a good point because the escarpment was one and done yes we had another clash at the escarpment and it was first of all the 16th on their lonesome versus the fourth black shirts yes that one went mostly in my favor it was close but i ended up taking 15 of your guys but you did shave off 10 of the fourth black shirts which wasn't bad for them attacking at the scar no i was i was pretty pleased with that i mean i think my guys holding off as much as they did and your guys with some pretty hefty attacks so i was i was pleased with a 10 loss taking 15 of yours and then the fourth had their fight against the game wasn't a huge swing was it yeah so the fourth indian you'll remember this in a sec the fourth indian and the fourth black shirts had a fight

the 62nd were also involved my 62nd yeah they had a pretty devastating clash um and this was the one where you lost 40 percent that's it yeah yeah um 40 percent of the fourth indian were lost i think that one had swung to minus seven that must be the one i was thinking of yeah yeah so that was a bad bad fight for you um forty percent of your guys i lost zero yeah so very very pleased with that that's a significant blow to deal to the fourth indian and really pleased with it really pleased with it and then that last uh last little clash down there was with the second libyan on the beach again yes they had another and this was the fourth indian the second rtr no they were elsewhere it might be someone else that it was the 16th sorry i think it was the yeah the fourth indian

the 16th and the second libyan now in that one you lost 20 of your guys yep but i lost 10 which leaves it to be that the second libyan were actually the the toughest little guys i had in that fight down there yeah they did the even though they didn't have the benefit of the escarpment they actually lasted the best so i'm i'm very chuffed with that i'm very pleased with how that panned out congrats to the second libyan yeah very very pleased with that so that was the the rabbit belong the escarpment yeah and then the last we had some a lot of fights at bardia well we had to see it through to the end so the first one the second new zealand and the 7th

they fought the Black Shirt. Yes. Now, this was one where I felt a little bit uneasy, because that's two divisions up against one of mine, and my divisions aren't quite as hefty as yours. So it's to nobody's surprise that you lost 0% and I lost 30%.

Yeah. That was a painful swing. That sort of put me on the back foot. And once that fight was out of the way, because the 7th had to fight them uh they could focus on baria yes now this is where things went particularly sideways for me you see i moved my guns last time i slid them down the escarpment the the garrison but i left all my men behind and i left them behind because they can't go down an

escarpment and make it to baria yeah so when they got there i forgot at the start of this play session that i had no men there so when we were dishing out who's going to be hurt i quickly realized that i don't have any men in there i just have guns and one infantry one one two points of infantry yeah that made up the first libyan division and their two guns so that left me in a pickle because when the adjustments came through and mind you i let off a hefty barrage 31 barrage points oh yes because he you split them in a freeze didn't you yes i did 10 barrages of three points and then an additional barrage of just the one point so i really let loose hell for leather unfortunately that wasn't quite enough because while i did pin i think three of your guys

three of six infantry for the first one i think yeah while i did do that the differential still panned out to be something like minus 11 or sorry plus 11 because i just went in with the tanks and any infantry that weren't pinned and then now the unfortunate situation there is that means i'm i'm then stuck with a hefty adjustment and i did uh i believe nothing to you in this one no and you dealt 50 to me and because it was a forced retreat that i couldn't take i lost an extra 10 yeah so 60 which is 60 of of my my guns my guys whichever one gives the most you can do it is well i guess the only way it could be higher is if the forced retreat was more than one hex but the numbers oh maybe the yeah it might be that the way the numbers work

out you can't actually get that combo like you'd be like 30 and then plus the two retreat or something yeah that's a good point because the the further retreat tends to be the higher combination, but you want the lowest possible for casualties. Yeah, so you did actually end that in the best spot you could have. So that wasn't

a great start for me. Was that the one where I just said 11 and rolled 11? Yes, it was, and it's the moment where I just sat down on the floor afterwards and told you that I think I'm going to lose. Yep.

So that wasn't great for James. what was worse was when you followed through with two more rounds of attacks on bardia yes because we at this point the seventh we're going to use all less cpa which was 30 and then they were going to burn through all that cohesion so they could have done up to eight attacks it was going to keep on going yes and i was completely fine ammo wise i had all the ammo in the world all the ammo i needed in bardia yeah what i didn't have was the capability point allowance men and i didn't have men because on the second attack that you did to me you blew through the last of my infantry because you dealt another i think it was 40 percent yeah and i do remember dealing five or

so to you i think it was five yeah so i was pretty pleased with that what a what a nice little last to Raz, I punched into your guys as I was getting blown apart in Bardia. Now, that was a bad one, because that was the last of my infantry killed in that one. Leaving just guns to defend. Yeah.

So, when this third attack rolled around, and I let off the barrages that I could, 14 barrage points, and I pinned, I think it was one guy. Yes. It meant that I came out with a differential of I think it was as low as it can get.

Or as high as it can get for you. 17, yeah. 17, etc. Which meant that you dealt another devastating blow of 40%. Yes. Now, unfortunately, that 40% was just too much. The guns that I had there, not many of them had defensive rating. Which meant, unfortunately, through rounding of 0 to 1, I lost my last defending gun.

With that, there was nowhere else to go. There was no defense. The line was broken, and Bardia was taken by the Commonwealth forces. Yes, finally rolled the seventh into Bardia. Now, I was devastated. I was hurt. I was heartbroken, Andy. Crestfallen. Rightly so. But then we realized, as the dust settled on this battlefield, we looked apart, our pieces, mine and yours, you and Bardia,

we realized that there's more to the win condition we had to look at supply lines we had to look at the locations to hold and for you to win you had to hold a few locations one of them being solemn yeah now the last guys who passed through solemn were actually my to brute garrison they slid down the escarpment and passed through solemn yeah i was the last one to touch that you do have the fourth indian right next to it but they hadn't passed through you also didn't have any supply lines that could trace back to your settlements, back to Alexandria

and Cairo. It was the last leg. I couldn't get to Bardia. Yes. Also, I guess Sewa wasn't supplied because I didn't bother. I just nipped down there with some cars. I didn't set any infrastructure up. Exactly. There was no structure there.

So that meant we realised you hadn't really hit a win condition. No. But by the same Meris. When we had a look and I saw the state of that battlefield all of my guys boxed in all around Bardia

with very little fuel even less ammo and a lot of them absolutely zero stores. A supply line that's now completely fractured because I only had one group of trucks left which was Uvar on map A. The trucks that were in Bardia

now yours. While we said that I had the first win condition and that was going to hold unless you met one there's no way that what happened there constitutes a win for me not at all that would be a fucking lie yes and we can't have that that can't be how this wraps up that wouldn't be fair but i couldn't in my right mind or good conscience look at that and and say that's a victory that's not right by the same metric i guess i couldn't also call it victory because i hadn't hit the win conditions well that's true so for two different reasons we we both found

that while we've we've had our fair share of getting close neither of us quite hit the mark no there was no win condition met in the end so because of that we have our conclusion for the practice scenario of the campaign for North Africa. It's a tie. No one wins. No one fucking wins. Is this disappointing?

I'd say... A bit. I'd say it's a shame there isn't a definitive victor. Yeah. But also... I guess it is a nice setup for the main game that there's not like one of us blew the other one out. No one crushed the other person. Yeah.

and all in all after all of the the missteps and backfires and rules mistakes clarifications through all of it did we play a full scenario the way it was meant to be played to the best of our ability yes but not rules as written because of some of those mistakes yeah right down to at the very end me using the to brew garrisons guns that are meant for coastal defense so we had that and one last rules mishap that we found at the very end of all this

in the last play session is vulnerability losses for guns yeah so you should lose more guns than we were losing because we were just doing the close defense but you should also lose 50% of their vulnerability points

50% of the amount of raw strength points you have to lose that in vulnerability points of your forward guns, or if you overrun all of them, so that's another thing that we've realised in the 11th hour not only the 11th hour, at midnight we've realised that

we've made a mistake with that too I do think we've played a fairly close, like we've obviously made mistakes, but it's I don't think it's like an invalid I definitely wouldn't say invalid I'd say we did a bit of

we put a bit of flair on it in the end by accident for the most part but we we played a game as solid and as closely as we could we started off this whole thing by saying that we aren't experienced war gamers nope we weren't students of history we just had the game and we thought that gives us the right we played it the best we could we played it as closely as we could to the the game as richard and spi determined it to be and in the end maybe a draw is the right way maybe that was always the outcome and if we had the same it wasn't like at various points each of us were working under different rule apprehensions no so in terms of the result if we're both wrong it's not like

someone's got an unfair advantage it's still equitable yeah we've been playing the same game even if parts of it have been determined wrong like the road breakdown situation yes that was a big one gun losses that one i don't actually think would have had that much of an effect but i guess we'll see in the main game how those vulnerability uh losses uh add up we'll find out yeah and that's another thing we we have a lot of a lot of rules that we've learned along the way a lot of mistakes that we've corrected and now going into the full game we know we know what those mistakes were yeah we've got a solid idea of how to play the game and we're also going to be streamlining all of the the spreadsheets the paperwork so they could be shared as well as we

play the full game yeah so you'll be able to keep us uh honest for those of you who do know the rules and well i've already been keeping us honest so exactly for all you diehards that love to read the rules alongside or even have your own games going separately you'll at least be able to follow ass spreadsheets as and when you please and it means that you've got a bit of access to that if there's mistakes call us out correct us and if not if it's just out of curiosity you can see how it works you can see behind the curtain look at how it works yeah but wow how do you feel andy i feel good i think it was a really exciting end it was i think the game actually built the entire time rather than

the other way around, which is good. It makes me excited for what's going to happen in the full game. I think us being fairly even, I think is very important. Because if there was a big skill gap

between either of us, the full game would become so much worse. Yes. So that's good. And also, I do actually have fun player which is a bit of a surprise now if we weren't doing the podcast the amount of work you have to put in to access that fun i don't think it's worth it but the fact we did put it in it was actually enjoyable at the end yes well that's that's a very big point this was because of the

podcast that we got through this part yeah and it's also the reason we're continuing and i guess we'll say it now while uh while people are tuned in and listening we are continuing yeah we're not we're not taking the exit ramp that this was which is the last one this hasn't broken us this isn't the end we are going to continue we're going to play the full game we've we've wet our whistles we've got the appetite for it we're hungry yeah we've got those hungry eyes and we will be finishing this game round one all the way to the final turn 111 the hallway what's crazy andy is that if you think about it if we continue playing from this point on and and kept the progress imagine having to do another 95 turns with what the current gameplay state is yeah i

don't think well i think because of the last turn we both like no one has any stores like if we did just be like oh we don't want to do that again let's like take it over to turn seven i think every single thing on the map just is starving yeah no one has any stuff left chucked all the stores in the bin so they could carry ammo yeah the whole thing was a an absolute mess in the end but that that's because it got to that state that's because it was the last turn yeah i mean i'll be honest i think i got there in turn five but i'm happy with how my tactics went i'm happy with the defense that i put through yeah i think the the game itself like you said there is fun in there the ratio of what you put into it to the fun that you get out i don't know is entirely

equal i think if we nail the automation it might be a bit more balanced it will get closer it won't be it won't be as fun as well i think any other board game i've ever played yeah maybe more fun than pandemic monopoly didn't enjoy pandemic monopoly is actually not all that bad i think i'd rather play monopoly we've done this go check out the live show on youtube yeah we did debate that was that was the common ground yeah we we've ended up in a state where it's it's over and it feels like a fever dream but there's still so much to go yeah how are you feeling about being the italians i guess again it's a it's a seat i'm i'm familiar with it's a role that i've become acclimatized to it's not it's not great they

aren't fantastic but i think push hard will be my opening gambit right because you played quite a defensive i played this time yeah and it's it's the openings graziani's offensive i've got to make at that i've got to go go all out and really push you i think yeah i've got ideas as to what i'm going to do i'm not going to divulge too much of it because that would be silly fair but i i'm going into this thinking that i know what i want to do with it oh cool i need to do a bit of i've got a list of like you fucked this up but i've not turned that into a plan a positive thing yeah it's uh there's there's a lot to think about in the in the interim i guess part of what we should talk about then now that we've wrapped this up is what happens next

yes we're having a little hiatus from the game not the podcast yes um podcast should still be as weekly as ever yes uh we know when we're starting the game we've got that in mind we'll announce it but we are going to use a few weeks to one go over the rules again fine tooth comb yep um sort out all our spreadsheets get a bit of a process sorted for keeping the website more up to date for you guys so you've got pictures some grouping hopefully the history stuff will be a bit structured on there so people can if they want to find an episode they can about a specific topic that can be easier for them yes we want everything to be easy to track everything easy to to share with everybody pictures files the whole shebang some extra

bits and pieces um which we'll we'll get around to as well we'll we'll get into that uh in the next few weeks we'll we'll explain more about that and yes we have a set date for starting the full game which we'll make a big thing of it'll be a big occasion and it's a definitive date so you'll be able to mark it in your calendar and uh it'll be it'll it'll be fun it'll be fun we've got some exciting stuff lined up we're gonna keep playing some board games but ones we can sort of do in an evening so you'll get i think we've got carcass on we're gonna get pandemic another crack yeah yeah um probably have a game of chess we'll keep playing some stuff and tell you how it goes yeah so each week you will still have a game recap it will just be of another board game in

the interim before we start the full playthrough uh keep you up to date with our game planning how it's going to work for the the full game history segment will continue because that'll lead up to hopefully the timing will be we'll get to world war ii kicking off yes uh hopefully yeah everything else will remain the same um there'll be common ground mailbag everything else remains the same the only difference is game recap in the interim will be of a different board game probably each week yeah and then the and the big game starts yes it's counting up to that and letting you know how our planning goes we just didn't want to get into a state like we were at the very start where we're talking vaguely about planning to play the game and just an hour

of tangents yeah um so we thought this way it's a bit more structured you still get game recap everything stays the same in structure which is a really good idea i think we'll just be using that time to get everything nailed in the background. And it's very important that we streamline it because we wanted to share a lot of this with you guys as we go, but the reality is our

bookkeeping was spread in such a messy way that it barely even made sense to us sometimes. So sharing that, it wouldn't be a great experience. We want this to be very formulated, very clear cut, so if anyone has any questions

or if they just want to follow along, coherently they can do exactly that but i'm excited for that i'm excited for a bit of a breather in between i say breather we will still be doing game related stuff we'll be figuring out how to structure it and planning as well how to actually win yeah which is a big part but god for the first time in so long i'm not going to be playing this game every week i wonder if we'll miss it i guess we'll be so we're still working on it so i don't know if we'll get that like distance i don't know i hate to admit as i was saying that i did feel a sort of strange sensation yeah sort of like missing it well we've kind of had that a few times where like

we've done like a early recording one week and then a late recording the next so it's almost like a week and a half between playing and it does feel like i'm missing something yeah which is crazy yes didn't expect the game to as it's stockholm syndrome does this is what is this what's happened uh yes that's exactly what this is yeah this is stockholm syndrome and you know what i'm fine with that yeah i'll let this game keep me captive the thing about stockholm syndrome is the people who have it are having a fine time well no they're usually well captive yeah is that a fine time well you like it well i don't like it but the stockholm syndrome would make you like it well stockholm syndrome makes you feel better about it i don't think it

makes you just like it it makes you like empathize with your captors yeah but it doesn't make you have a good time stockholm syndrome's not like i'm having fun now i guess not it softens the blow that was like a weird bank heist in sweden that made that where the people they took hostage all liked the guy and like visited him in prison and tried to get his scent introduced and stuff Is that the origin of that? I think so, yeah. I presumed it would be named after the place. Yeah. It's named after Mr. Stockholm.

We're going to come up with our own syndrome. SBI syndrome. Yeah. CFNA syndrome. Wow. It's very surreal. It's very odd to have finished this. Yeah. I don't even know what to fucking quip about.

It just feels like such a surreal experience that it's over. yeah it feels really good actually it's just we did it man yeah and i suppose uh an important part of this were were the stakes yes because we set out when we started this that the winner gets of the full game the winner gets a meal bought by the loser with this we said that the loser has to buy a kinder bueno for the victor but then we doubled down and we said it has to be two kinder buenos and had to be specifically from durham train station yes i guess because we tied we're each buying the other one kinder bueno from the durham train station

and we'll uh split the kinder buenos we got from perrin at the uk games expo yes a very generous contribution towards our prize interested to see how they've stood up to the heat wave i'll be honest man i think i don't know where you've stored them i know they're not in your fridge no they've been in my they're just in my room okay that's i can only imagine they're melted i think they were melted they were definitely at the expo i don't think it's now i'm worried that the wafers have melted it's possible i don't know what kind of chemical reaction that is but i'm worried it's happened i think it'll be it'll be fine it'll still taste nice yeah and that even if it's just kind of like mushed up into like a bueno soup yeah that's a nice mush as far as

mushers go a bueno mushers yeah like a bueno soup yeah oh i'm liking that i had a kinder bueno cannoli yesterday no you didn't yeah i did you greedy bastard how dare you do that right before you could have won an actual set of buenos they gave us to them where the restaurant i went to you should have said no you should have said do you know who i am you know what andy that was me it was a test but i was with my parents so i couldn't say do you know who i am oh of course because still now your parents don't know about War With A Mate. No. I was going to tell them

but it just didn't come up. It didn't come up, of course. Because it can't come up. If you don't bring it up, it's not going to come up. They're not going to talk about it. Hey, do you have a podcast going? I swear to God, if you're waiting for them to ask that question, I'm not going to be happy.

The thing is, if they ask that question, it means we've got very lucky and blown up to the point where parents have become aware of this through osmosis. i mean that's how a lot of people find this through like weird situations like a comment on a facebook post or just any sort of weird thing so your parents could come across this in some strange seven degrees of kevin bacon way not realizing that they're one degree away yeah guys i'll keep you posted i will tell what i would love if somehow they found out that i had

a podcast and not knowing you were the co-host and talk to you about that. And then you have to live a sort of double life where you convince them to not listen to it. Although I don't know why you would do that. I don't know why you haven't told them at all, man.

Tell you what, get your phone out now. You're going to call them live on the podcast. You're going to tell them exactly now. My phone currently doesn't have a SIM card. That's no excuse. I mean, it's a reason I can't call them. no i'm not taking that as an excuse okay well it's it's important that we we reap this prize we do and i think there's no better time than right now yep so we're gonna we're gonna head

up and go get the bueno and we'll uh we'll give you guys some insight into that yeah because that's the best part guys you're coming with us on this journey let's switch to the lapel mics oh it's quite a bit of a picking up a lot yeah oh well that's fine I guess it does seem

like we're picking up what's talking so yeah waiting for the bus yep gonna get the the bus to the train and then

get the train to the train station and pick up a bueno So, all the men outside, first time. Yeah, going on, well, we've been on the road, I guess, but recording it. Yeah, it feels very odd. It feels like I've got some sort of strange disorder talking to myself.

It does feel like you shouldn't be doing this in public. No, it does feel wrong. Now, we're putting it out there. You know, there's one thing to do a live show, but I think doing it in the street. Yeah. It's unwieldy. Yeah, I don't know. That's fine.

We're allowed to do that. Yeah. i'm gonna i'm just gonna pray that there is actually a bueno there that'll be so funny if it wasn't it's gonna be really awkward if there's no bueno yeah well then we've said we have to go into durham uh that's a good point this could be a longer trip than we thought i really want an in and out but no quick in and out journey we'll see how it goes if this flavors yeah what flavor would you go for i think i'll just go a classic bueno you know yeah i think we were doing it for a bueno like i don't know if there's dark chocolate i

might go for that so bougie that's fine that's a that's a normal request ah you're buying i can pick i'm buying it i'm picking you can pick you can pick which one i get you a classic bueno there you go train station hey another train station uh well our train station not durham train station no there's no buenos here let's not jump ahead there definitely are but just not not Buenos for us yeah well that's it bueno here would be an invalid purchase yeah I'm also not sure if there's any vending machines I think it's just shops yeah you'll be able to get one over here if it's not automated and mechanized does it really count I mean we do have to put a bit of a thing there because there might be not in the automated vending machine in Durham that's a

good point yeah no I reckon we'll find somewhere else mechanized I think it's just from Durham than mechanized all right we'll take mechanized from durham and then worst case scenario from durham okay i prefer if this was mechanized that's like my units in the game that are preferences i just think it's it's important that it's as non-interactive as possible there shouldn't be other people involved in this process oh that's i guess a horrible thought i just this is this isn't for anyone else i guess apart from everyone listening it's very much for people yeah you know what this is actually exclusively for the people that's that's what this part is yeah we're going to durham to buy a kinder bueno from a vending machine this isn't something we're

just doing because we want to how did it get to this point man we went past a vending machine on a train and thought it would be funny that's a good point yeah i guess that's this whole thing it's all just been because this will be a bit funny if we do this yeah it's it's true up to at this point but yeah it's still very unfamiliar being outside doing this it feels really weird yeah i much prefer when it's what it's an enclosed space yeah well that's in front of a live audience or not because a lot of these people have signed up for this no they're just going about this sunday so am i it's just that we've chose to do different things we're just doing a weird thing yeah that's fair how long we got till the train uh we should probably go check all right we've

got about 15 minutes all right let's go all right here we are moment of truth see actually see if there's anything in there i'm very anxious that i might not be i think quite good have fingers crossed yeah let's see here we are we're at the famous van oh my god man they've got them they've not only got kind of what they've got what is it is that white chocolate and dark chocolate i think just white chocolate and milk chocolate and then a kinder and then yeah that's like the kinder chocolate bar so here we are wow how much here it is it does like you say if you press the selection it'll probably tell you it should so 32 it's two two pound ten that's not super cheap is it no that's a pricey kind of one well you know needs must how do you

go back on this there you go back home platform two right 17 19 lma zoomer service to newcastle so we've arrived in durham we've got the buenos now we each got our bueno but because we timed things badly there's now an hour wait which is wild because of the fact that it's usually like a train every like 15 minutes or so yeah just missed one as well we we didn't dick around so much with the time I don't think we would have got there I think we could I think if we we're not gonna run though are we yeah we weren't gonna run no instead we're gonna have a plane I think it's well-earned yeah in fact if anything the thing is the pine seems a more deserving reward at the end than the point of and it costs like three times as much

yeah this was a two pound ten yeah how much is yours four quid something oh wow I got the but my six pound ninety oh no you should just estrella it's not nothing fancy we got a while ago i will next time next time yes yeah the meal also has to be from a vending machine in durham absolutely not oh yeah so we're gonna get back earlier all right it's the bus back heading back finally yes a bit of a longer trip before we pop out the train was delayed to the point where we actually got a refund only partial 25 it's not bad hey i'll take it caused by signal failures and a disruptive passenger thank you disruptive If anything, that's kind of the perfect encapsulation of the game.

Signal failures being the rule mistakes, and disruptive passenger being the game. We've went for different things. I'm not sure how much of this will work with the bus token on top, but we'll see. We'll see. We'll see. That's it on our merry way back. We're collecting our Buenos. One Bueno each.

Bueno apiece. Well earned. £2.10 each for two years' work. A very expensive bueno, and then more expensive because of the train tickets. It means every day of our life is worth less than a penny. Fun. That's how you really measure a person. How long does it take them to earn a bueno? How much time have they wasted?

Is this going to be the same for the meal? We're just going to end up buying our own meals. Probably. I hope not. And we are back. We're back home. We're nestled in nicely and we have a Kinder Bueno each in tow. We do.

Andy, how does it feel? Feels like we went to way too much effort to get a Kinder Bueno. And way too much cost. Yes. because it was £2.10 a piece yeah and then also train tickets yeah well that's it the train tickets cost significantly more than the

Buenos because that's I mean the tickets there were about £8 each so yeah overall this was not worth it however you hear that lovely ASMR that's the sound of two years work you know what Andy I'm opening mine

right now eat that on mic then I'll just have a little crunch okay just so they know you've got it it's stuck oh wow this is like really really deformed look at that wow oh so you got bad glitters yeah this i'm gonna check the expiry date on this actually because uh i don't want to get like ill or anything uh 27th of september oh it's close does chocolate go off quick usually yeah it's got milk in it really wow it's like melted too yeah whoa this sucks that is a mess oh this feels like a real kick in the teeth

but you know what here we go it's really melted it wasn't worth it no it wasn't worth it none of it was worth it was it worth it let me work it what um yeah i'm not really sure that was worth two years of my life for a draw i don't know man this this feels bad i mean if you if your only reward is the bueno of course well it's not the victory is it because there wasn't a victory no one won there's no success There's no flag to hoist We both succeeded

No, don't throw me that shit No one succeeded We both failed to succeed You failed, I succeeded At what? Just the thing You took Bardia and you have no supply lines Your men would be dead

No, they'd just get stuffed by boat No What do you mean no? I mean no, I've still got so many guns in there No you don't, I own it I have the gun still No you don't I do. Yeah, legacy story,

I do still have the guns. Okay. You've got to be kidding me with it. You're still pushing back, even after this lovely conclusive ending, this beautiful truce, this finale. Does it wrap up?

Yeah. We got to the end, and we both lost. Okay, sure. Wow, that was easy. Yeah. Coward. Give me that. Oh, yeah. You give me that. You throw me that. Oh.

Alright. The fruit zone. It's fruit zone. I'm gonna go for pomegranate or peach. Peach. Yeah, that's fair. I don't like either, but I'll go peach.

The fruit zone. And there we go. That's fruit zone. That's the last fruit zone of the practice scenario. That's. That's the part everyone was looking forward to. That's right, we've missed off the history segment and mailbag today, but we kept Fruit Zone. You'll be happy about that.

Well, I guess if we've got that done, and we've done the game recap, usually the only thing to do now would be to come into the end and come together. It sounds like you've still got a little bit of discontent, Andy. I could do with a common ground. Maybe we need to wrap it up one more time with that common ground.

Okay. and now for something nicer a little oasis in the war it's time for some common ground i'm trying to intro the common ground i'm recording maybe so as everyone knows common ground is the segment in which we can finally come together as friends at the end of this conflict and now it's more important than ever because we've wrapped this up. We need to be able to see

eye to eye to get ready for the full game and oh no! The celebrity on the couch has been ousted. He's been shunted aside. They've moved him away. It's, oh my god, it's none other than the man who started it all.

The man whose fault it is. It's our Jurassic Park friend. I had to be here for this. i showed up too early to the event we were doing after this i am now part of this you've been roped in and you wouldn't have been if it weren't for the train from durham being so heinously delayed but it does mean that now unlike the unlike the game this common ground can have a winner oh god i didn't think about the fact that this could now be a two-to-one fight oh i don't

That's not what Common Ground's meant to be. That undercuts the... So, first of all, for a brief intro, for those who are uninitiated, Jurassic Park friend. I guess you can go by any moniker you want. JPF. JPF. You can call me JPF. JPF, a bit of background on you.

You are... This is your fault. Yes, entirely. Yeah, you told us about the game. I introduced you to it. i set it up i left yeah you you mentioned it to us you allowed us to buy the game you just stood idly by and you thought i don't want to do this this has all been quite a funny bit to me i am a supporter from the shadows yet i will not play the game that might be the best way to go

and it's very fitting that you're here for today because it's one the end of the practice scenario that you very much set in motion but also because of the nature of my common ground because andy today my common ground is this was a good idea okay i mean are you agreeing i think it's a stupid idea i think it's turned out all right uh stupid ideas can be good ideas largely i'd say reputationally no Well, just because you're taking the word stupid and you're running with it. Almost kind of a slant.

I know slant rhymes exist. It's like a slant sin in it. Yeah, but stupid ideas can be fun ideas as well. And I think that's definitely what this is. At the very least, it's a fun idea. Yeah, when everyone laughed at JFK when he invented the idea of going to the moon. Then they did it.

When they invented the idea of going to the moon. Someone thought of it first. Who? JFK. sorry he was the first guy to think of going to the movie yeah he was the first guy to look up there and go maybe we should go there I've got to call bullshit on that I don't know the actual

facts but that's a lie you can't prove it I mean it's a weird it's weird that you're like taking the side in the space race 60 years on yeah what a weird persuasion you have you've got such delayed pop culture

knowledge it's not delayed it's just history Tell me the year. What, when we went to the moon? No, no. That's not what he said. I'm actually liking that this is two against one, because it seems you've become the one.

You tell me what year it is now, and this has been a while, by the way. You've delayed saying the year. Which calendar? Gregorian. I just want to check. You know. Could you have done any other?

2026. Okay. When did we go to the moon? The collective we. 1969. Correct. Okay, who went there first? Well, we can get into that. Okay, let's hear it.

So, the Nazis. Right, okay. This is... No, it was America. With the help from the Nazis. So if anything, this is also game tangential. Yep. It's all parallel. It's all indirectly connected.

America arguably wouldn't have got to the moon if we didn't win this theater you're saying we didn't win this theater you're pointing towards the board game in which no one won because what you're pointing out there is a fictional representation no we won in real life won in what sense beat them well not the space race though yeah we won that too why do you count we in the space race as us being america so i get to be on the winning side i would have done the same if the ussr did it you're you're a coward i'm a comrade that's worse than

a coward because you just said you're on america's side yeah you're a turncoat yes well i to circle back then because you you've ruined this you didn't have a tangent this you started this in support of america by the way i think jfk's it was his idea you don't know whose idea this was do you jfk in a way jpf you're the jfk of the situation it was your idea for us to go to the moon and i'm the i'm the buzz aldrin and then i took the first step second no buzz aldrin stepped first yeah armstrong new armstrong was second he just said the bit that doesn't seem right the same way that you say subtle humble and brave yeah i actually took the first step people just don't see that because i said deserts of our

minds yeah that was the metaphorical first step you just came in afterwards i think you're michael collins i'm sort of the michael collins of this actually that is fair i have i have flown the ship yet i will not get off did michael collins die on the moon no he didn't go on the moon he didn't get off he he just stayed on board he flew there stayed on the lander he did not go to the moon wow that guy lost out no wonder i can't remember his name yeah he had to keep an eye on thing i don't think he even got to go on like another trip where he was though what were they worried about happening with the ship it went yeah it blew up when he wasn't there right the thing is if it blows up when he is there that doesn't matter he might have been able to stop

it blowing up how let's think of a scenario where it was going to blow up on the moon presumably he's an engineer yeah but abstract that part of the rules abstract the part where astronauts require massive amounts of training yeah do they really though yes yes right okay do you have any proof to hand to hand that's what i thought i didn't even think andy would mention the space race as part of his his allegory for things being an idea uh well that's what you've missed out on by not coming along with every common ground so far because andy says a lot of bad things like having kettles in more than one room would be a good idea you remember that one it is a good idea yeah yeah there we go getting called out at the end

i just thought we'd cycle around to that one more time at least andy would you like a rebuke i can weigh in on one common ground where i might back you oh we've done about that let's actually move gone also you wouldn't like that jpf because the fans are very much on my side i think with that one and all of them though someone called andy a cunt if the most hate we've got ever was the kettle discussion it was the most hate you've got i think the most hate anyone on the show is that's true i think collective because i don't really i've not had individually targeted flack no and you've also been uh brought up before jpf someone asked for a cameo role from you at some point so it's nice that you've been able to step in at the very end here well i do listen to

the fans how i do not listen to you yeah that's true did you get into my gmail uh it's actually andy's i think you you've technically run the the inbox yeah no i'm i'm poised waiting for a moment waiting for the actual campaign oh well that's a good i mean you've got like a 29 year span yeah i mean sadly that's probably the rest of my life well it's definitely the rest of ours well with it being the rest of ours and with the common ground being that this was a good idea you've been someone watching this from the outside you're with us all the time not not all the time i guess you're not the celebrity couch on the guest you're You're the one who's ousted him, you put him out in the yard

It's where he should be It is, thank you, that's what I've always been saying The sofa's a bit too generous There are too many controversial people here I think we're lovely folk I think we're, dare I say, subtle, humble and brave Well the fans seem to think Andy's a cunt Just one guy

We only had one email that said that Yeah, but for every one person that leaves a comment Oh, that's a good point, Andy You think about the metrics I mean, yeah, people weren't happy with the kettles. I'm so glad we got a courtyard on this at the very end. But as an outside person looking in who's been around this so frequently, where do you weigh on this being a good idea?

I don't think it's a binary option. I think the most you can say is it's an idea. Oh, it's very common ground. Oh, he's very much common grounded us there, Andy. Yep. i agree that it's been an idea and when i when i look at parts of it when i think about the frustration i had with the rules of the game when i think about all the times i wanted to stop playing because i misunderstood a rule and that ruined my day or i think about a trip to durham

that should have been like a five minute stay there and became an hour can't really blame the game for that one oh well i wouldn't have went to durham for no reason today that wouldn't have happened so this is SPI's fault I don't think I don't think Richard Berg knew in 1978 that he'd be the reason I'm stuck in Durham for an hour in 2026

but he is the world moves in mysterious ways so this grey area we found ourselves in Andy this odd spot caused by you JPF Where do we take this? Is this a good idea?

Yeah. I guess you already said that from the start, didn't you? I've come in, yeah. He's not way of it. I almost admire that. From the start, you've always said, go. You've always said, you said in the first episode, at the very start, it was going to be your job to keep me on track.

I think that's right. I disagree. I think it's my job to get you off track. okay sure because we both have jobs oh it's it's abstract it's beautiful so we've got you saying it's a good idea we've got jpf saying it can be either and it's fluid i'm also going to stay on the fluid side okay which means all in all we're weighing towards quite a good idea, but

it might not be. We're going to settle on it's a fine idea. A fine idea indeed. It seems to balance out where I'm right and it's an idea. You really are the JFK of JPF. That's right. I win. He's

one for one on Common Ground. Wow. That's a Common Ground that matters, because that really is the foundation of what comes next. I guess if we'd all said no this would have been over kind of what i was hoping for yeah i would say this is a good idea and everyone would immediately rebuke it nope and i'd have i'd have a really good excuse to not continue i can see you eyeing the exit ramp i'm not gonna push you towards it god

damn it really thought i had a way out there nope yeah when it's an idea you kind of have to do another i don't know thousand episodes ten thousand episodes stop to really get the answer that's wow how beautifully nuanced well we'll play it through once and then we'll swap sides i don't i don't really fancy playing it once so tough shit if we're playing again you're coming in on this it's going to become your problem as well i didn't think about this yeah there's no way in hell that we're doing this a second time and you're you're taking my place you've cornered me and i'm i'm threatened like prey you know what you're also my heir i've decided now you're my heir i'm older than you yeah i think if there's one thing that people have learned listening to

this podcast that my diet is not it's not well put together i'm not a man of health we eat largely the same thing i i eat i eat worse in larger quantities you do eat a lot more salt than i do i i think it's important to have a good sodium intake like a supply line like a supply line that's beautiful what fell andy my phone what a loud you've got you've got two phones now as well currently two phoning it you replaced your old broken phone yes with a new phone but which phone fell old phone so there's probably glass on the floor it was in such a bad state yeah it's in such a bad state of repair yeah oh new cracks well of course why do you keep that because i need to move the sim card over

because at the minute this is just like an ipod touch it's not actually a phone and that wasn't your first move it needs a different size sim card okay okay bigger or smaller so you aren't moving it over i guess yeah that's all no i'm getting one of the adapter things ah look i know how this is working i don't know i i guess uh i guess i'm just i'm interested in your phone situation andy new phone's good i'm glad i'm glad to hear it thank you jpf before your departure from your you're delving into war with a mate apart from the fact that it's your fault i guess one thing that people would probably want to know and i'm pretty sure we've been floated this question before is what is the best jurassic park film i mean that's very easy it's the first one

there we go it's a classic 1993 cinema has not been better since and you know what i i couldn't agree more the first is always the best the podcast from here will go downhill everything from here i promise folks it's going to be it's going to be a janky mess we're going to be promising that because then when it comes true it makes it look worse. It at least looks planned. What have we ever kept to our promises? Every week for like

two years. You just went to pissing Durham to get a bueno. Yeah, that's a good point. We did take a long trip out. Okay. I'll not make any promises then just in case I keep to them. Good man.

But I guess we found some common ground. We did. This might be a good idea. It's a fine idea. I believe, was the settlement. There's a chance. Any thoughts on causing this, JPF? Any feelings towards this?

It's been pretty funny for me. Dick. You set us on course for a long journey. He really did do the equivalent of just, like, farting in an elevator and stepping out and just leaving us in there. It's a much gentler analogy from mine,

which is throw a grenade into a room and shut the door this has all been one very long like r slash am i the asshole for me i'm gonna have to put a yes on that i think everyone sucks here well i guess that's the common ground well it's been a pleasure having you as an appearance at the very end i'm glad you dipped your head into to see what we've become and i guess with that wrapped up now just some final thoughts there he goes the celebrity he's getting back in he's curling up on the sofa next to jpf it's quite cute actually he's patting his head oh aggressive petting it's very rough petting a little bit belly rubbing yeah that's probably for the best i think uh belly rubbing for the

best yeah that celebrity he's had a bad run especially the latest release a bit of a bit of a box office bomb relative to the budget though we just checked the expiry dates on these buenos by the way and your bueno is way more fresh than mine yeah i wonder when you open it up if it's you you opening it let's see what we got let's see if yours is as mangled as mine because mine's a real mess it's a bit melty but that's nowhere near as bad as mine mine is i mean look at that yeah that's horrific it's like a crime scene or just poo well that's a lovely image well it all boils down to that doesn't it yeah visual storytelling that's what we've done start to finish we've painted a beautiful picture

but an important part of it was not the game a bit of irony on that and not even having fun with each other because a lot of the time i wasn't having that oh good you know that i've been very very transparent about that that's not news it's been it's been everyone following yeah that's been the best bit we started the podcast as an accountability tool and unfortunately it's worked it's worked fucking wonders and when i started this i thought it was going to be the case that a few people that i know personally would listen and some of those don't even listen no but a lot of people have um to throw out some some thanks um people who stuck around from the start we had uh our friends uh dev jay saran

uh fuck it i'll even say you ruben i know you've dropped off but you all stuck around you listened to it at the start when I was peddling it every day at work and you stuck by it and all the people I talked to before we started this when I told them I was buying a game for this much money and we were going to play together two friends and finish it no one ever had before and all the people that did stick by that thank you for that and everyone else who listened along the way everyone who's emailed in people who've attended the live show people who've shared their their own odd quirks and strange hobbies history segment ideas yeah everyone who's who's been part of that everyone who's shared their own part of this

has made it what it was and has made it worth doing and each and every one of you are subtle humble and brave, and have made the deserts of my mind much more bearable while playing this. Andy, anyone you want to thank? Your parents, maybe? For the support? Maybe one day I'll tell them. Yeah, sure, thanks to my parents. Maybe they'll find

this in ten years when I tell them about it. Yeah, just thanks to the fans for sending stuff in. It's always really good to see a little notification for an email pop up. It's been a journey, and it's only the beginning. We've got a hell of a way to go, and it's going to be a mess. You're going to hear us rejoice, you're going to hear us suffer,

and it's mostly the latter. But I think we'll do a jolly good job. We've got a lot of stuff coming up. We've got the hiatus in between. Yes. We've got the full game. we've got a few exciting bits on the side all of it's going to be running parallel

in the weeks to come we're going to be announcing it as we go through each episode the full playthrough is coming, we'll announce that within the next couple of weeks I would expect it's a definitive date stay tuned for that but for now, we can rest yeah, thank you for listening

we'll be back to the structure next week but a bit of a fun one for the end of the scenario and yeah, thanks for listening stay subtle, humble and brave from the always and forever to be deserts of your mind

goodnight Thank you. I'll see you next time. smart bed at the touch of a button you can personalize your comfort choose firmer or softer adjust cooler to warmer and right now save up to twenty five hundred dollars during our massive labor day event hurry into your local sleep number store today because we have your number