Was I In A Cult? - Hare Krisha—Pt1: "Who Gives This Child Away?"

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

*CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains discussions of child abuse, child sexual abuse, rape, child marriage, neglect, religious trauma, and family trauma. Please take care while listening.* Born into the Hare Krishna Movement aka ISKCON, Vilas was supposed to be part of a "pure" new generation of devotees. Instead, she was sent away at three years old, raised in boarding schools and temples across the world, taught that suffering was holy, comfort was indulgent, family attachment was weakness, and obedience was the only way back to God. From Los Angeles to Iran to India, Vilas's childhood was shaped by silence, neglect, impossible rules, and adults who kept choosing devotion over protection. Part 1 takes us behind the chanting, robes, and airport flowers into the devastating cost of growing up inside a movement that promised divine love, while denying a child the human kind.   FIND VILAS:  Instagram: @vilaswright  / Facebook: @vilas.wright ___________________________________ FOLLOW US  → For more culty content — follow us on Instagram & TikTok → @wasiinacult SUPPORT THE SHOW Join our Patreon! Get ad-free episodes, bonus content, and behind-the-scenes conversations. (And our forever gratitude)   HAVE A CULTY STORY? Email us → [e-mail]

The views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those of the hosts and guests and do not necessarily reflect the views of Lipson or its affiliates. Guest accounts or personal recollections shared from their own perspectives. References to specific individuals, organizations, or groups are presented as commentary, opinion, and personal experience and should not be interpreted as definitive statement of fact. This podcast is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. Hey listeners, before we begin, please know that this episode does contain discussions of child abuse, child sexual abuse, rape, child marriage, neglect, religious trauma, obviously, and family trauma. So please take care while listening. The consequences that the children suffered because these young parents decided to do this crazy thing, is so awful that it's going to take a few generations for us to unfuck it because they were like,

ooh, peace, love, and Harry Krishna. And now I have adult children that are suffering the consequences. And it's not fair. It's not okay. It took me half my life to figure out right now. What do you want to do with your life? and that was through one failed relationship after the next because I had no idea what relationships were.

I had no foundation for that. Welcome back to our show. Was I in a cult? I'm Liz Ayakuzi. And I'm Tyler Meesam. Now, first off, before we get started, we just want to let you know that we've been having some issues

with this podcast on Apple Podcasts. You see, some of the episodes have been late, some have failed to show up at all. So first off, we apologize. They deleted us. We thought we were gone. It was a horrible two weeks, but they give us our show back.

So thank you, Apple. But now there's two of us on there for some reason. There's two was I and Nicole's on there. We're getting rid of the other one. I don't understand. I don't know. But thank you for coming back to the tribe. We have been here busy making episodes.

And apparently you guys haven't been getting them. So go back. Listen, we have a couple really fantastic stories. I don't know if you guys heard the Amish two-parter. But fantastic. We spoke to the journalist who covered the sex cult one taste that ultimately led to the FBI investigation and take down of this cult. So please, we worked hard on them. Go listen to them.

We are getting all our technical stuff fixed. I'm trying to figure out how to get the clock on my VCR to work. So it doesn't just keep blinking 12 o'clock. And then we will be ready for you. How else am I going to watch Beverly? Beverly Hills cop. MASH, the first one. Oh, my God, I've seen so many other.

I think I've seen more episodes. No, I know I've seen more episodes of MASH than anything ever. I've seen them all. Let's not get too far distracted. Yeah, we have to get the lightheartedness out of the way because this episode, guys, wow. V-Lis. V-Lis, my girl, my lady, my woman, my person. I did a nine-hour, I think, interview with her.

Yeah, you did. over the course of three days. Yeah. And then she just dumped trucked it onto us and said, here you go, make it good. I'll be getting a manny petty. Now, what typically happens... That's what I did. What typically happens when Liz does her interviews and then she gives it to us.

And Greta, our assistant editor, she does the first pass. Shout out to Greta. She's great. And then I took it over and I got to say, I love editing these episodes and I love finding the structure and the story in them. But this one really, I could. I couldn't wait to get back to it. And it took me a great number of days to do it,

but I couldn't wait to get back and keep crafting the story and keep hearing what's going to happen. It kind of stayed with me. It is a hell of a tale. Yeah, and well worth the two parts that you are going to get here. So this woman, what she's been through, I don't know. It could be the most intense episode I think we may have had on the show. I know that's a big statement, but what stood out most to me and stayed with me after,

wasn't just the horror of what happened to her, but Vilas herself. Vilas is a force. I'll just say that. And now for her story. I've been wanting a Hari Krishna story for some time on this podcast because outward facing, they appear peaceful, devotional monk-like, chanting robes, renouncing all the material possessions, delicious vegetarian food. But the cult side of this group is all too often hidden from the public view.

Now, if you grew up in America in the 70s, 80s or 90s, as I did, there's a decent chance your first exposure to the Harry Krishna's was a guy at the airport, wearing a sari, shaved head, handing your dad a flower against his will. So their main spiritual practice was chanting this phrase, Harry Krishna, Harry Krishna, Harry Krishna, over and over and over. So the Beatles at one point actually raised the awareness of Krishna's, George Harrison. In fact, all the Beatles at one point got pretty much into the Hari-Krishna's. George Harrison stayed in it a little bit longer.

He believed in Krishna. He practiced Krishna. He often had Krishna, I don't want to say groupies hanging around him, but there were a lot of people with robes in the studios when he was there. In the documentary, get back. If you've seen it, there are Hari-Kishnas with George in the studio. I mean, John brought Yoko. He brought the Krishna's. And George, he produced a 1969 song called Hari-Krishna Mantra, which became a surprise hit in Europe.

Play it, Rob. Hari Krishna, Hari-Krishna, Krishna, hari-ha-di. The Hari-Kishnas are members of a religious movement officially called the International Society for Krishna Consciousness, or ISKhan, which was founded in New York. York City in 1966 by an Indian spiritual teacher named AC Bacavadanta Swami Prabhu Bata. Thank you, Tyler, for intentionally handing me this name to screw up. I'll talk about the Beatles. Yeah, I'll take the Sanskrit. Now, the movement is rooted in a real branch of Hinduism.

And very broadly speaking, Hinduism is not one single centralized religion with one founder or one holy book. It's a vast family of traditions, philosophies, rituals, and stories with many gods and goddesses representing different aspects of the divine. You may have already guessed from the name, the International Society for Krishna Consciousness, of course, centers on Krishna. Their devotees believe Krishna, who represents divine love, joy, beauty, bliss, and devotion is the supreme form of God. And that through devotion, prayer, chanting, disciplined living, you can escape, Samsara, which is the endless cycle of suffering, death, and rebirth. So during this counterculture movement of the late 60s and 70s, as we all know,

thousands of young Americans were searching for meaning outside these traditional religious boxes. So while some people joined communes, some joined political movements, others shaved their heads and started chanting in airports. Now followers typically lived communally and they followed strict rules. No meat, no drugs or alcohol, no gambling, and no. sex outside of marriage. But the loss is on our show, so clearly that isn't the whole story. Now, with today's episode, we are going to do what is kind of unique for Liz and I.

It's such an amazing and incredibly well-told story that we aren't going to interrupt it. Nope. Tyler, you even cut me out of the whole thing. So. Yeah, all nine hours. If you want to hear all nine hours, email us. It's not going to be easier for us. So we are too practicing spiritual enlightenment over here.

Yeah. The vow of silence. The vow of silence. Fow of silence. Get your tissues ready, guys, because it's a tear-jurker. It is. It is a beautiful and sad and heartbreaking and wonderful story. Maybe we should have was I an occult tissues.

So much merch. No time at all. Let's get to the story finally, shall we? My name is Velas and I live in Maryland and I am a survivor, advocate, writer, speaker, mother, partner, world traveler and I grew up in the Hari Krishna's. I was born and raised in the Hari Krishna's in the schools. In the Hari Krishna's, which is also known as Iskan, which is the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. The founder's name is Prabhuad. He created this international society for Krishna consciousness so that he could have this group of people live in what's called the Vedic times, the times that the scriptures were written. And he brought this philosophy to the United States, I want to say 1965,

and went to Haydashbury and was giving a lecture there. And my parents went to Haydashbury and heard him. They heard about this guru who was spreading peace and, and love. love. And they were at the time going to Pasadena City College. And it was a tumultuous time, late 1960s with all of the objections of the war. And just there was a lot of social change at the time. But he had a message and it sounded to these kids like a cool philosophy. This is going to make us all happy and peaceful. And we're all going to, this is the sure way to get to God. They're like, all right, yeah, we'll join. So they were among maybe the first 50 people to really join up. And Prabhpah told them, if you are going to be together, you have to get married.

So they did. And Prabhpah said, go open a temple in L.A. When I say, so they did. It's like every single thing he said they did. They opened the temple in L.A. and my mother was 18 and my father would have been 20. these children are starting this organization. You have no life experience, no college education, and you're starting what turns out to be like a massive worldwide organization. Like part of me wants to look at my parents and go, wow, damn, you did that? There was an original group of devotees that were very early disciples of Prabupad.

And those devotees, he trained to be like, all right, this is our mission. We got to saturate the world. So get out there. Go open temples, go figure it out. And they did. It's really quite amazing, as horrible as it is. But it's fascinating. I was born in 1969, physically at the L.A. Temple.

Back in the day, when you had a child, the guru named the child. So he named me Velocini, which is first. of a, well, it is a name for Radha. Radarani is consort of God. My father would have been a temple administrator and my mother would have probably been cooking or running whoever was doing the cooking because, you know, if you're in a temple and there's even 50 people living there, you're cooking for everybody. It's a full commune living. Everybody is doing something for everyone. My mother didn't like me. I was a girl. She already had a girl. Now she has two girls, two liabilities, basically, in a patriarchal society.

We want boys. It's grounded in women are less than. Women are not as smart. Women are not as capable. And of course it's her fault because it's always the woman's fault, obviously. And then I was the second child. There was this little crazy redhead and this bad penny constantly turning up. And she just really didn't like me and always pawned me off.

And I was just like, you know, a kid of the temple, whoever was watching was watching or not, as it were. That's also just commune living, right? So my mother would have been wearing a sari. And my father would be wearing something called a dote, which is the pant part. And then a kutta, which is the shirt, like a long tunic. And they shaved their heads and they have this tiny bit of like a tuft of hair back here. And then we cover ourselves with a clay that marks our body that says our body is a temple of God. And then you'll see they wear neck beads, which are also just a reminder that our bodies and our existence is for God.

Like everything is about that. And so what Prabhapod wanted for the children was that we were going to be the first generation of like these pure Vaishnav kids, right? And so we needed to go to what's called Guru Cool, which is the Guru's indoctrination, the guru's teachings. And they opened a boarding school in Dallas, Texas. But normally you get to keep your kids until you're five. And then they have to go to the Guru's school. And I have an older sister.

And so she was five. And they were going to drop her off. And they just left me there as well. and then they went off to do whatever service. So when I was three years old, I was sent to boarding school. The whole temple is basically an ashram, and then there's like little ashrams in the ashram. So there was the little kids' ashram, and I was there.

So our day went something like wake up at 3.30 in the morning, have a cold shower because warm is indulgent. There's no such thing as any kind of sense gratification. You should not be comfortable. ever or anything that would be remotely related to sense gratification. The first morning prayer starts at 4.30 and it's basically the deities are dressed in their pajamas and woken up. It's called wake the deities. Everybody shows up in front of the deities to like be like, good morning. All of this happens in Sanskrit. And then the

curtains are closed, the ditties are dressed, and they're given sweets. This happens over the next two hours, all of this insanity. So the curtains are opened again. They're now dressed in all of their glory and opulence for the day. During that time, devotees, including children, would chant the Harry Krishna mantra, and you chant the Harry Krishna mantra 108 times, 16 times. It takes about two hours. After that, there's a class on the scriptures, and class is usually about an hour, and it's either the Bhagavad Gita or the Bhagavadana, which is the bigger text. The morning program lasts from 430 to about 8.30. So then there's school, but the school is all about scriptures.

So we learned Sanskrit. We learned to recite the scriptures. So they would take the scriptures and then use some math with it, or use, like English with it or whatever we were supposed to be learning, it all had to be about the scriptures. So that was, let's say we started that at nine and then we had a lunch break and then that ended at four and then we had a little bit of outside playtime. You want to go play and then you're worried you're going to do something wrong because you're going to be distracted by the fun of maybe having this playtime and then and then you get in trouble.

So every single day there was a consequence. Somebody did something. Either you were getting beaten for something you did or you were getting beaten for something somebody else did that you should know not to do also. There wasn't a time when somebody wasn't in trouble. I think it was harder for me to deal with it because I was so, little. I think as I got older, I think I got stronger. That's really fucked up. I grew armor while I was there. I still actively imagine the three and a half year old me sitting in my

lap because I don't know that I ever sat in anybody's lap. And I just want to hug her and tell her that it's not her fault. And then I, when I go there, I say, but I don't want to talk to her because I would have to tell her to fucking brace herself because it's going to get much worse before it gets better. Okay, so last week we heard the riveting advertisement featuring me buying a T-shirt from Quince.

We need that goddess. We need colleague in here and destroy your ego. I fear collie. I did receive it. I do love it. It fits well. It's nice cotton. Well, it's my turn.

It's my turn today because I got some things, guys. I'm going on quince.com right now. Quince. com. Slash cult. Don't forget that slash cult. And let's see. Duba do.

I know what I'm going to get. I've been eyeing a couple things. I'm sure you have. As one is always when it's me and quince. So, oh, yes. Candle, maybe? Not today. I'm actually going to get a black slips dress because I'm going out of town with some girlfriends.

And I just, I need a cute little dress. The little black dress. So I'm getting that. It never goes out of fashion. It's only $69 compared to what it would normally be, which is probably over 200. I have other ones, so I know they're good. I love their slip dresses. We do love quints.

I'm going to get also. I've been eyeing these right here. Leather. Now you started. Now she's going to be shopping on this thing forever. Leather picture frames. They're so beautiful. So I'm going to order that and a light tote to go on my new desk.

And that's it. I am going to talk about how much we love quince and how much quince is good for us. I like this skirt. I might get this. There she goes. No, seriously. We do love Quince. They do have great products.

They eliminate the middleman, which is why they can get things so affordable to you. And they're well made. My t-shirt, double-stitched. So elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash cult for free shipping on your order. Until Quince. He's like, what? You mean it doesn't just rip after seven washes?

I have people ripping my shirt off me, so I think it's very important that I have double-stitched. So elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash cult for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. How's the shopping going, Liz? There is a fantastic cotton gas smocked maxi skirt that I'm also going to be getting. Boy, she's going back in again. These are all gifts, Tyler. These are all gifts. I'm sure they are.

Quince is now available in Canada. That's Q-U-I-N-C-D dot com slash cult for free shipping and 365 day returns. go ahead and press enter Liz. Get your stuff. Right here and Bing. Quins.com. Wait, how did you hear about me?

It's a podcast called Was I in a cult? Yeah, that's right. Quince.com slash cult. We're back. How you feeling, Liz? I mean, we've been silent this whole time. Do you want to make any bad jokes that you couldn't during the first part of the story?

I usually leave that for you. Thanks, Liz. I know you're. dying to tell a fact, so go for it. I mean, there's one. There's one. Veles' parents went to Pasadena City College, and they are the Lancers, home of the mascot Lance O'Lot.

You're kidding, sir. That's all. That's all I need to say. But I do think we need to know a little bit more about the Krishna's, because during the 70s and 80s, they heavily proselytized, so they were very present. But ultimately, there were only about 8,000. and highly committed members worldwide. But they had tens of thousands of broader participants.

They did, however, open more than 100 temples worldwide, which were, yes, sites of worship, but also kind of spiritual hotels for paying travelers or seekers. Now back to your cone of silence. One of the Hari Krishna's main things that they're known for is that chanting and dancing on the street corners and airports and whatever. So they're out there raising money.

And this is how they would buy buildings or land or space and build temples. If you go to any one of these Iskan, Hari Krishna temples, you will find life-sized statues of the gods. Krishna and Radha, who is his consort, his girlfriend, he had a wife. But now he had tons of girlfriends. There are these statues that are up on altars and they're dressed. in clothes, like all kinds of stunning, shiny, beautiful clothes while the kids are wearing tattered, worn crap and eating off the floor with worm and roach-ridden food. You know, it speaks very loudly to, we don't give a shit about people. We just worship these brass statues so that we can

ultimately attain this godhead. But why? So the goal is to get to Godhead, to get to Bremen, to get to the forever. But you can't do that but through the guru. You can't have that unless you come through me. Rub my feet. Bring me food. Worship me. Put me up on a pedestal.

Make me a golden toilet to shit in because remember, he is just a man. a human. He's not some sort of a mythical creature. People's willingness to worship other people also boggles my mind. Regulations are no meat eating, but that's also no fish, no eggs, no onion, no garlic, nothing that has a lot of heavy smell or bad odor. No sex outside of marriage and sex is only for procreation. And there's a bunch of ritual that has to happen around that, which is chanting the Joppa, which is 108 times around the beads, and then times 16. Well, if you want to have a child, you have to do it times 50. And so it's like an entire day of chanting because apparently trying to have a child is dirty. I don't know. Why does religion care so much about what you're doing in

bed. I'm pretty sure that I have been more connected to, oh, God, during sex than I did at all ever in my childhood. So, a hundred percent renunciation is required. You renounce all of your worldly possessions. Can't have any personal attachments. We didn't have things. We didn't have toys. Nothing is yours in this lifetime. Otherwise, you will develop attachments, and then you'll have to be born again into this hellish existence and do it all over again until you learn. learn how to renounce. You renounce everything. You renounce your family. So they were taught not to be attached to us. And we were raised to not be attached to them. In fact, like if you were hugging your mother, you would get reprimanded or your mother would. We only heard the word

love in the context of loving God. You serve your guru. You love Krishna. And the only way to get to that eternal love is through your guru. But love had nothing to do with people. That was not a thing. It's what they call Maya. That's what Maya is. It's just a material connection and you need to renounce from it. My parents, right from the beginning,

it's just a random happenstance like two twigs in a river coming together in this lifetime because reincarnation. So we've all been here a thousand times or all of the times. their function was purely you get married, you live this life, you procreate, you make new devotees, and then you go on and you evolve in your spiritual growth and you leave each other. I have an older sister who is 18 months older than me. We were always in just different ashrams because we were a different age. So I didn't really get to see her.

She was more godly, more devotional. she was more, she could read by the time she was four, like she was brilliant and she was treated better. I was, I was just a little devil, you know, like I was, I was normal, but also that is called a little devil. Like I got beat up so bad one time in the little kids' ashram that I was bleeding. My backside was bleeding. I would have been like three and a half or four and my sister had come to get me on Sunday and she was like, why can't you just behave? And I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. And you know what? The more you suffer, the better it is.

Because you'll be able to go back to God if you suffer so much. It's so good to suffer. Why does God love it when we suffer? Why? Why? It's getting it out. You get your karma out. And it's good.

Suffering is wonderful. Think about it. Our parents chose for us to be there. And our parents chose to put us in those schools. and they chose to let us suffer. These school teachers, they did not give a shit about these children. The conditions, so I had a milk crate, and my bed roll was in the milk crate, and you had a change of clothes. I had the dress I was wearing today and the dress for tomorrow.

The food was absolutely disgusting. We had something in Dallas for breakfast that we called oat water, because it was just like you didn't really get the oatmeal part of it, just the water. Maybe there was like three things of oat in there and for 300 kids. It was gross. And there were worms in the food like, you know, bugs and everything was subpar, cheap, lowest level, lowest quality. Like there was no care for these children, zero care.

On Sundays, they invited outsiders in to come in and have a Sunday feast. So all of the kids got to. to wear their prettier dress, whatever that was, and put on a smile and eat good food. So on this day, you didn't eat the oat water. You didn't eat the disgusting crap that they were feeding. And one day of faking it for the public. Look at us happy. And we were, I mean, I can see in the pictures, like, we're all like such fake smiling. Were there not people out there going like blink twice for help? Like, how did they not see the absolute devastation that it was for these children? Well, well, they did. It came in. It was too hard to hide. And my mom just so happened to be there

and walked up and said, oh, we're all fine. This is fine. Everything's good here. It's really unforgivable. I can't ever allow for that forgiveness. Also, I have a whole philosophy about forgiveness. Like, it's bullshit. Anybody who can stand by and watch children be tortured and abused and mistreated, they deserve to be in jail. There should be a special jail for people that mistreat children. Just the actual physical abuse and emotional and psychological abuse that was going on was too hard to hide. So the state was like, okay, you got to shut this down.

and said you have to get all of these kids out of here. So Dallas shut down. All of those kids go to L.A. And the thing that bothers me is, okay, so did you say just relocate? Is that? And you're just going to take, you're not going to follow up. You're not going to wonder whatever happened to these kids. You're not going to say, hey, we just shut down this school, L.A.

They're all coming your way. Please be on the lookout and make sure they're not doing the same over there. the Dallas school shut down. We went back to L.A. And then my parents at that time were in Iran. And so they said, well, just come here to Iran. So we ended up, my sister and I flew to Iran. We arrived in Iran and we lived there.

My mother had a job teaching English at a school in Tehran. But then she ended up putting me in the first non-Hari Krishna school that I ever went to. And it was Tehran American School. And these were normal people. And I had never really interacted with the outside world before. And so that was about two years we were there. Let me clarify what Iran was then. This is before the revolution. This is before how many. This is before it became the restrictive regime that it is not. now. It was very Western. And then actually the United States went in and screwed that up somehow. I don't have the exact history notes on it. But many took power and immediately demanded that all women

wear Burka. My mom was like, all right, you guys have to get out of there. And so my mom and I went to India. My sister and my dad stayed in Iran. So at this point, I'm eight years old and now heading to India. We go to this village that's about three hours outside of Calcutta, and it's one of the holy villages in India. And there was a boys guru Kula Ashram there, and my mother was going to be the medical caretaker for the boys. She wasn't like a nurse or qualified, but it's like, oh, you can figure it out. So she went there to run the dispensary for this boys' school. I didn't go to school. And in 1970, there was a monsoon that caused 30-foot floods.

And I had been staying in an ashram that was like above the mess hall. And that was getting flooded. The mess hall was an open-air building and it had these like holes. And there were so many snakes in these holes that it looked like the whole building was just like moving. Oh, it was so creepy. I sort of befriended a little mongoose because the mongoose kills the snakes. So I would give it this little candy like this rock sugar stuff because I was like, stay close and maybe you'll kill the snakes.

It was pretty adventurous. And so I was moved to, it was like two levels and we were going to see 30 feet of floods. And so I got moved to a higher building in the same room with my mother. and we're up here on the third floor of this temple building and looking out. And you can see this, the floods rising and people are sitting on top of their hut roofs. And she wanted me to jump right in the water from right there from the railing. She threw me in the water. She's like, this is as good a time as any for you to learn how to swim.

So my mother didn't have enough compassion to go, maybe not in this muddy, snake-infested, dirty cholera-ridden water? Maybe this isn't a good time. But no, get in the water. Yeah, yeah, she didn't, she's not like me. I just always chalked. I'm, okay, I'm different in so many ways. Like, I have red hair. Nobody else in my family had red hair, so I'm weird. And then I would always just look at myself in the mirror. I'm like, why do you not fit? They never fit. I never really fit anywhere. Then I thought, like when I was in India, I was like, no, I'm weird because I'm white because I wasn't like all of my friends. We're called third culture kids. I'm sure you've heard that term before. So it's really hard to feel this kind of weird loneliness.

You know what I mean? It's not the kind of loneliness where you're alone because I'm not. I have tons of these friends, like normal friends and abnormal friends and everything in between and it's beautiful. But I still feel like there are just certain things that are so hard to reconcile. And by the, this went on for quite some time, the flood. We weren't able to get out of town yet. It was really, really scary. And my mother, ended up with typhoid and dysentery. I got jaundice and dysentery. This went on for quite some time, the flood. Toward the end when my mother had gotten really ill and then as soon as she was well enough and the water had receded enough, we got in this little boat and made our way to wherever the highest

ground was, got a horse buggy kind of thing that took us to the next place that took us to the train. that took us to the airplane that took us to where my grandfather lived, which was Hawaii. I was now nine years old. So I went to Hawaii with my mother. My mother recovered. She needed care. And I was in literal heaven for the first time in my life. Hell to heaven.

There was no morning program. There was no chanting. There was a television. There was a bed. It was amazing. And it was definitely probably frowned upon. Obviously, my mother was like, oh, this can't go on. We've got to get her back to the schools.

So I think there was some conflict. I believe my grandmother, my mother's mother, specifically said to my mother, just don't marry her off when she's 13, which is when it ended up happening. Okay, cone of silence breaking. As we previously mentioned, Hari Krishna derives from Hinduism,

and it celebrates the God Krishna, who represents divine love, joy, beauty, bliss, and devotion. Liz, you can officially break your cone of silence. You have achieved perfection. Thank you. Thank you. I have leveled up. Where's my sash?

Many other Hindu gods and goddesses that represent different aspects of the divine. There's Brahma, the Creator. Vishnu, the Preserver. Shiva, the destroyer and transformer. I love Shiva. Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity. Saraswadi, goddess of wisdom, music and learning. Durga, the warrior mother goddess.

Kali, goddess of time, fierce transformation, and destructor of ego. And then Ganesha, removal of obstacles. I love Ganesha. He's the one who was beheaded by Shiva, his own dad. Great parenting, right? Thanks, dad. And then Shiva was like, oops. So he brings him back to life.

And then he sort of looks around and he reaches for the closest thing in his purview, which happens to be an elephant, and he puts an elephant's head on Ganesha's body, and that's why Ganesha is given all this wisdom. Okay. Sounds just as logical as Joseph Smith receiving golden plates, so I'll buy it, Liz. And speaking of goddesses,

let's get back to Velas. You like that transition? That's a good way to shut me up. So we went to L.A., and for some reason, that didn't work out. She was now looking for a Guru Kula to drop me in, to leave me. She tried Detroit Guru Kula, and then we ended up going back to India. And we reconnected with my dad and my sister.

My father takes a job doing research. So he takes this job in New Jersey. We go to New Jersey, the four of us living as this very weird family, not in the temple for the first time. And I had never lived in the outside world. We had a normal apartment with no furniture because we slept on the floor and we sat on the floor. And later on we did end up getting a table, which was interesting. But my sister and I overheard the dentist asking my mother if she could be pregnant and she said yes. So that's when we heard that she was having this baby. So So immediately following that, she was like, all right, you guys need to go back to Gurukula.

So I was 10 when I first went to that Gurukula, it's called Giedinagiri. It's in a rural Pennsylvania. It was on a farm, and they had a creek. And, you know, I mean, so it wasn't a nightmare. It certainly wasn't pleasant. Again, girls lined up sleeping on the floor. You got your sleeping bag. You got your change of clothes.

You do your laundry. the same very austere living conditions, but it was not the level of torture that Dallas was. I mean, there's still the abuse of neglect, but we weren't being tortured. No cockroaches, no beatings for no reason whatsoever, just for the sake of it. My brother was born. My parents went to Saudi Arabia for a while. My sister and I were in the Pennsylvania ashram. And then after that, my mom had gone to India and my dad became the temple president of the Maryland Temple.

And the summer I was 13, I went to visit my dad over the summer. And there was a festival in West Virginia. And I said, hey, can I go to the festival? because likely I would see some of my friends from school and catch up. And while I was there, I'm a 13-year-old child. I was wearing a sari. My head was covered. I was a good devotee.

And this random guy was like, hey, did you see the waterfall? And this temple was on like 3,000 acres on West Virginia mountain side. I was like, no, I haven't seen the waterfall. He says, it come this way. A friend and I were together, but she dropped off the trail. I continue, and he sees that we're alone, shoves me down, and violently rapes me. And we're in earshot of hundreds of people, but there's very loud music on the loudspeakers. And so nobody could hear or see us.

So he rapes me and leaves me there on the side of the road and goes back to participate in the festival. And I had no idea what had just happened to me. I didn't have words or context. I was not an overly sexualized 13-year-old. I think I would consider my brain about 10. at that point because I had no concept and was not interested and no concept of men and what they were capable of and what they wanted. Of course, the lectures every day of sex is bad for your mind

and takes your mind off of spiritual growth. And so I had no clue. But here I am covered in blood and dirt and semen. And when I'm able to get up and and kept my feet under me, I make my way back to where I was staying and threw my clothes away and sat on the floor of the shower for as long as I possibly could and tried to wash away all of the things. And then I just found a bunk and went to sleep. And in the morning, somebody came and said, hey, we're going back to Maryland. So I got in the van, went back. And I was, um, A woman saw me, you know, wearing a sari. And it's down to your feet, covered most parts of you.

But my neck and face are exposed. And I have bruises and bite marks all over. And so she says, what happened? And I described what happened. And she says, we have to tell your father. And I said, no, we do not. That is a very bad idea. And I really had told myself that I was not going to share this information.

And he's the temple president. He's your father. He has to know. Immediately, my father was angry. And he called the Minister of Education, who said that I should be made an example of who not to be. I am the poster child of what we're. trying not to raise in our girls. And they immediately alerted the West Virginia Temple who immediately put that guy on a flight to India to avoid any consequence. So here I am. I'm going to pay the

consequence. So the consequences of getting raped are, first of all, a vow of silence indefinitely, which lasted until January. This was the beginning of September. So vow of silence and I was in the kitchen cooking from 4 a.m. to 8 p.m. every day for the whole temple. I remember I would sneak into the cooler in the kitchen. We had a walk-in cooler just to talk to someone, my sister or say something. I've never not been a chatty-cathy. So I really, really just needed somebody to hold. me and tell me that it wasn't my fault and that I wasn't dirty. And my mother was in India at the time.

And she flew back in January. And I thought, oh, I'm going to finally get that love. And I started to run up to her when she got to the temple and just put her hand out. And she's like, you disgust me. And I'm always shocked and also not at the same time. So there was never going to be any reprieve. And she says, I found a husband for you and you will be married in one month. And so the next week, We got on a plane and she trafficked me to India. And we flew to India, went back to the village in Brandoven. And she introduced me to this man who had agreed to marry me. And the idea was that we needed to marry me off before other people found out that I was impure and tainted.

The guru or the temple president arranges. your marriage. In this dynamic, the guru decides for you what your life is, every single bit of it, where you should live, who you should marry, having children, what service you should be doing. So they decide. You're never going to make it to Godhead if you don't submit completely. And those who submit, those who really do follow exactly what the guru. says, they're the glorified ones. They're the good devotees. They're the ones that get the cookies.

She would have asked the guru. My guru was Bavananda, who was a pedophile, boys. I literally just said his name. Fucking sue me. I don't care. He's a disgusting, despicable, horrible human, and I just wish he would have a stroke and be in a coma for the rest of his life. He was the guru.

who had initiated me. He was also the guru that performed my wedding ceremony, and he would have been the guru that my mother asked, you know, who I could marry. And it was quite above my pay grade to find out how that came about. But she found this guy, came back to the States, picked me up, and then plopped me in front of him and married me off. And that is what we leave you with today.

Oof. It's something. It made me cry multiple times, and it only gets more harrowing next week. What happens when a child bride is left to survive on her own in India, in America, and eventually, well, she somehow builds a beautiful life from scratch. After the world she was raised in, completely failed her. So here are a few clips from next week's part two of Vilas' powerful story. Our marriage ceremony was sort of thrown into the,

mix. You could call it consummation and I can just call it rape. He came back and said, I don't want to be married anymore. I thought I was going to die. She pimps me out to all of these rich, rich palaces. They gave me a one-way ticket and didn't really give a shit if I died. So I was living on the streets of D.C. And that's where my daughter was born. I had spent some nights living in our car, me and her, and I question whether I had the right mother skills. So now I have to make my life worth something. It can't all be for just pain and suffering. That is all for today. Make sure you stick around for next week. Please come back. Also, please tell your friends that we have a podcast. Also, let's all elect, who's your goddess do you want? Let's go with Lakshmi. She's great.

Let's all vote for Lakshmi to be the next deity. Wealth and prosperity for everyone. I'm going to put a sign in my yard. Kanesha for deity. Again, we apologize for all of our technical delays over the past couple weeks. It was very frustrating for us, but hopefully it's all settled and we're all back together again. one big happy family. Now, if someone could just help me set the clock on my VCR,

it just keeps blinking. I don't know, I kind of need some new batteries for my disc man. Was I-N-A cults? Was written hosted and produced by me. Tyler, destroyer of suffering, mesum. And Liz, me, the goddess of wisdom, Iacusi. And Rob, he's just, Good old god of editing.

Good job, Rob. We should come up with what that deity looks like. We will in all of our spirit time. And we'll sell it. More merch for you. Rob, the god of wasanacult. Rob Para. That's it, everybody.

Thank you. We'll see you next week.