Was I In A Cult? - Tyler’s Story  - Part 1: “Mormon Mission to… Not France”

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

Tyler Measom, your fearless co-host, stopped by the studio in his magic underwear to chat with Liz about his cultic upbringing as a good (clean) Mormon Boy in Pleasant Grove, Utah. It’s everything you could hope for and less… or more… more or less. LINKS Follow Tyler: @tylermeasom Follow us: Instagram @wasiinacult Want Tyler’s Magic Underwear? Support Us: https://www.patreon.com/wasiinacult Have a story to share on our show? Email us: [e-mail]

Please note, the views expressed in this episode belong solely to the hosts of the podcast and no one else. Because we're the only ones on it. If you have to explain a joke, Tyler, it loses its appeal. Because you see, actually... Wait, explain. Tell us why. Well, you did a set up by saying, uh, it's holy, call you the hosts. I just remember, like, it was built up to be such a holy place and no evil can penetrate the walls of this building and I remember being in there and I was an 18 year old kid and I had like a dirty thought I was just like

how did that get through? How in the world did I have a thought about a booby? I'm. Welcome to Was I in a Cult, guys. I'm Liz Ayakuzzi. And I'm Tyler Miesum. And I'm Tyler Miesum, and on this show we give those who are in cult or cultic environments a chance to share their story and take their power back. And today's guest you guys oh man you may know him from certain old white male rock meetup groups or factoids anonymous. Yeah or perhaps I'm the Ethel to Liz as Lucy or such documentaries as Netflix is Murder Among the Mormons. My favorite,

an honest liar, or Annie's, I want my MTV, or perhaps even the O.G. Sons of Predition. Liz, you're actually plugging my movies. Here we are, I'm plugging your movies. Yeah. It's the one the only, Mr. Tyler, Threesome, M-Som. What's your actual middle name? It's the one the only, Mr. Tyler, threesome, Mesa. What's your actual middle name? It's threesome. No, it's Kent, I was named after my father. Middle-name. Mr. Tyler, Kent, Mesaum, everyone.

He and I sat down on the Wednesday, mid-morning and had a lovely, wonderful chat. Mm-hmm. We talked for about four hours, and Tyler went back and cut out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out, the the, the, the, the, the, the, thi-and, thi-a-a-a-a-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-a-a-s, thi-a-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-s, th-s, th. th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. threa-s. threa-s. threa-s. threa-s. threa-s. threa-s. thre went back and cut out all the dumb parts. Yep, so it's a four-minute episode. So if you guys were looking for more Tyler on the show, all two and a half of you, well today's your lucky day folks. Here he is, and all of his ex-Morman glory. T-dood-dall-dall-dall-dall-dall-dall-da-da-ba-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbah-bobbbbboh-bobbbboh-bobbboh-doh-doh-a-doh-doh-a-doh-a-dah-d-d-a-d-d-d-a-d-ah-w-wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww'-t-t-h-h-h-h-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb! Take out your night. Purify me. Don't spare my life. Crucify me. Hi, Liz.

Wow. Wow, Tyler, today you're in a very different unique chair, aren't you? Now I know how all our guests feel being drilled by you. We're in a small room and there's just one lamp over us and Liz is just pacing back and forth and jaudepers. And a knife to his throat. Tell me your story. For those of you who don't know, both Liz and I were in cults. Mine was a Hollywood acting class turned self-help cult.

Just the old standard Hollywood acting class turned cult story. And Tyler, well, what cult were you a part of? I was in Nexium. I have the scars to prove it. I was in the cult of the Mormon faith, the Mormon church. And even just saying that, it's still hard for me in some ways to say cult around the Mormon Church. I still have a hard time kind of acknowledging that it is or was a cult.

Because you were, as they say, mainstream Mormon, right? Yeah, look, the Mormon church, or as they like to be called, the Church of Jesus Christ, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the.a, the.a, so.a, so.a, so.a, so.a.a.a.a.a.a. the, the, the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, so, so, so, so, so, the, so, the, so, the, so, so, the, so, the, so, the, so, so, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the Mormon church or as they like to be called, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but I don't have the time for that. Let's just say the Mormon church, it's much easier. They're a very large religion. They were founded in 1830 by Joseph Smith, and from the Mormon faith. And from the Mormon faith, there are a lot of the strange religions and sects and cults but I was in the mainstream Mormon faith. And so I'm glad that you are telling your story here today because we do get a lot of listeners who were Mormon or ex-Morman who really relate to the show and are really grateful for the show because they see I was in a cult. Yeah I mean what's the old saying is that what's a religion it's a cult plus time. So and I know a lot of people who th th th th th th th th th th th th of people who th th th th thi th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the thi thi the the the the the tho-a th. th. the the the the the the the the the the their their their the the the the the the th. I are th. I are th. I are th. I are th. I are th. I are th. I are th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the. I the. I theateeeat theeeat theat theeeeeeeeeeat. I'm theeeeeeeeee. I'm the. I the what's the old saying is that what's a religion? It's a cult plus time. And I know a lot of people who have left the Mormon faith and it seems like a lot of people

who are starting to acknowledge and accept that it is a cult. And it's hard for me because for God's sakes, my family is still in it. My mother and my sisters, they're still a part of it. And knowing cults as we know cult, it's not an extreme cult. That's not children of God, it's not an axiom. Because if you look at it from the outside, it is a very shining example of a nice, white, middle-class, happy, clean church, right? But still have the psychological trauma from the experience, right? Without question, I do, and we'll get into that more and how it has shaped my life and the work I do and the art that I make and the way that I relate to people and the difficulty it's been having left the church. Briefly paint us a picture of what your childhood was like, how many blonde

people were in this house with you. You know, I had a very idyllic childhood. We were living in California and lived in Melpitas for a while. When I was 12 years old, we moved to a town called Pleasant Grove, Utah, which sounds nice, and it was. We lived kind of out in the country, right on the foothills of the mountains. I have five sisters and one brother, and we all got along very nicely. For the most part, I mean we're brothers and sisters. Of course you fight and hate each other and yell at each other, but we were a very close kind of family. My brother is the youngest and so for a long time it was just me and five sisters, which was great because I got my

own room. My father was an accountant and for a long time my mother was a ho. But my my mother was highly educated. She went to BYU. If my mother wasn't a Mormon, she would have been a CEO, but instead she stayed at home and raised children. My father was a great man. He was a fun, lively, hardy. Everybody loved my dad. He'd walk into a hardware store and immediately he'd be the best friends with a guy behind the counter. I was raised poor. I mean, you know, with seven kids, there's not a lot of money to to to to to to to the money the money to the money the counter. I was raised poor. I mean, you know, with seven kids, there's not a lot of money to go around. We had food stamps.

I didn't know any different necessarily because we were happy and we were always provided for. I was raised a pretty excellent family. My sister was a valedictorian. My other sister was an all-American volleyball basketball player. My sister's got scholarships. We were raised with academics, creativity, music. Suddenly, what happened to you? I'm the middle child.

I was kind of looked at a little differently because I was into arts. And I always like comedy, and I love movies. When I was 10 years old, I went to see Raiders of the Lost Ark. I was like I want to do that. I want to make the movies, I'm make make make make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I, to do, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, the the the the the the the to, to, to, tha, too, too, tha, too, too, the the the the the the the the the the the the the to do that. I want to make movies. I didn't know anything about it, but I wanted to make movies. So being artistic and being funny was a little bit odd in my family of people that had very good grades. We were a very musical family. My father played guitar, and we'd sit around on Sunday nights and we sing and we were kind of a close little family. I was going to say, how did Mormonism infiltrate and affect your life on a day-to-day basis?

Many other people on our show who were in cults, they were raised probably more secluded than I. I mean, I live just in a normal environment. We could watch TV, we could listen to the radio, we could read books. My parents were religious, but they weren't extreme. Being raised as a Mormon youth is difficult. The bar is set very high for the things you can and can't do. There was a lot of pressure to be good, to do what's right. And that is a saying in the Mormon faith. Do what is right. Let the consequence follow. And when I was a kid, you used to wear a ring. And it was called a CT-R ring, and it had a little emblem, and a C and a T and an R, and that stood for, choose the right.

You could always look at that ring, and you could always choose what was right. The fear and guilt factor is very high. Catholics definitely have guilt, but I think Mormons have kind of cornered the market on it. They really know how to make you feel bad for things that are normal as a teenager. I don't know, Tyler, I think my dad might disagree and argue that Catholics are right up there with you. Just thoughts, your bad thoughts. The weird belief that God is always watching you, and that he can read your mind, checking in on what you're thinking or what your intentions are, thiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and, thi, and, and, and, thi checking in on what your thinking or what your intentions are, that seeps in. And when you're raised as a Mormon, your sins are not just your sins, they're also the sins that are on your mother and father.

So if I look at a dirty magazine, and I looked at a few dirty magazines when I was a kid, that sin was on my mother because they weren't necessarily raising me right. So that's a heavy weight to bear. And when you grow up in a community when everyone is Mormon, everyone sees you. So when you're out doing something wrong, everyone knows. If somebody goes to Starbucks. There weren't any Starbucks, but yeah, you do not drink coffee as a Mormon. It is part of the word of wisdom. Now the word of wisdom says that there are certain th th th th th th th th th th th th thi the the that that the that the that the that that that the that the that that that the that that that that's heavy that's heavy that's heavy that's heavy that's that's heavy that's heavy that's heavy that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, theeeee. theeee. theeee. theeeea thea thea thea thee. It is part of the word of wisdom. Now the word of wisdom says that there are certain things that you cannot take into your body.

You shouldn't drink coffee. It says strong drinks, hot drinks, alcohol, tobacco. It says eat meat sparingly, actually in there, which few Mormons actually adhere to that one. Jesus loves Rowsby. to that one. Jesus likes roast beef. But he doesn't like Michelob. Nor does he like coffee. But there's so many contradictions in the word of wisdom and with Mormons because you can't drink caffeine. So Mormons drink the shit out of Diet Coke. And I just think, you know, I have a couple cups of coffee a day, which the health benefits of coffee have been

proven to be numerous. Like I never understood that but that is a very prominent part of Mormonism the word of wisdom and as a teen growing up me and my friends would sneak away and we'd go to a cafe and order coffee like we'd sit around and just drink coffee like it was so bad and just feeling you know sinning or black coffee or coffee with a lot of cream and sugar, the more what it was then, but. And what is church like? They say there are no weekend Mormons,

right? Like, you can be a baptism go to church for an hour on Sunday and be okay. Mormonism is all of you. So church is every Sunday, when I was growing up, it was three hours. P.S. Mormon churches are boring. They're dry, they're white. Mormon funerals are boring. Mormon weddings are awfully boring.

You know, like you got other churches and they'd sing and they band and they have fun and they're just boring. But there is something about sitting amongst a throng of individuals and all singing this one song. We thank th th th th th th th th than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than their than than th one song. We thank the, oh God, for a prophet, to guide us in these latter days. We think the same in the gospel, to guide till our minds with this race.

We thank of beautiful. And I do miss that communal element of all of us believe the same thing and we all get together and meet together. So I went to normal high school. I probably had a couple of non-Morman friends and they were oddities. There was one girl who was like a Baptist and it was so intriguing like she had just come from Sweden or something. There's a thing called seminary. And during one period of the day or every other day, they would let you out of school and you would go across the street or next door, and it was kind of a church building. It was the seminary building, and it was basically like a classroom, and they would teach you gospel principles and Mormon history. I was a pretty good kid. I drank a little bit and

I was I was rowdy, I was fun, I do fun and crazy things. What crazy things? Well you know like stupid shit you do when you grow up in a small town you drive around you put bombs in mailboxes and you know do stupid pranks and I had a lot of fun. My life is seen to be and I thi. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thin, thin, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, I was really really really really really really really really really, I'm, I'm, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was a th. I was a th. I was a thin, I was a thin, I was a thin, I'm a thin, I'm a thin, I'm a thin, I'm a thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, I was a thin, I was a throwne. throwne. I was a little throwne. I had a lot of fun. My life is seemed to be and still is about having as much fun as I can for the most part but I never really partied much and I was a virgin you know I touched up some boobies here and there but I was still a virgin and didn't really indulge now I masturbated. That was also a little right? Incredibly frowned upon. You were always told not to have bad thoughts and you were not allowed to masturbate to masturb to masturb to masturb to masturb to masturb to masturb to masturb to told not to have bad thoughts and you were not allowed to masturbate. And if you did, you had to admit it and tell your bishop. And this is one thing

about the Mormon faith is they don't have working clergy. Everyone is a volunteer. Now, my best friend growing up, his father was the bishop. And I have to go into his office and admit the things I did wrong, so I'd have to sit across from him in this desk, and he'd ask me, is everything okay? And I'd tell him that I, you know, masturbated. And then two days later, I'd go over to my buddy's house and there would be his dad. You want to stay for dinner, Tyler? You know, make sure so weird to... So awkward. Now, there was a cause and effect with Mormonism that I still think I carry a little bit in me and that if you did something wrong, there were ramifications for that.

So if my football team lost, it was surely because I looked at a, you know, a cosmopolitan magazine. If I got a C-minus, it wasn't because I didn't study, it was because I had unpure thoughts while I was taking the test about the girl who was sitting across from me. There's probably a subtle or maybe not so subtle pressure to find somebody within the Mormon religion to settle down with. Did you have any experience with that? They like to get them married young and have children. And lots of children. Mormons are encouraged to have lots of children. We were taught that before we came to Earth we were in what was called a pre-existence, right? And there's a bunch of spirits up there. I'm giving you the cliff notes,

but they're all hanging out and God says we're going to send you down to earth, right? And we'll let you decide what you need to do down there. And Satan, he says no, let's th, th Let's th Let's their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, the, thi, to the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, to to to th, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, to to to to to heaven, right? And Jesus said, no, they need to follow some rules. And there was a battle in heaven, right? That these spirits literally fought. There's a very warlike environment with the Mormon faith. The Book of Mormon is full of wars. The battle in the pre-existence was of people battling for Satan or battling for God. So that was always something I was taught as a kid.

And that in that pre-existence there was a mate, there was somebody that you were supposed to be with. And your job is to go find that person and be with her or him, as long as you're not a him, because that would never happen in the Mormon Church. Are you allowed to be gay? as long as you're not a him and he's not a him, because that would never happen in the Mormon Church. Are you allowed to be gay? Homosexuality is strongly frowned upon in the Mormon faith. My little brother is gay and came out while he was in Utah, so.

As a Mormon? You know, he was never really a good Mormon. He's a fantastic gay man, not a great Mormon. I think one thing that's very prominent about the Mormon faith, and this is evident in a lot of cults, and a lot of religions, is that they believe that they are the only ones that have the keys to the kingdom. As a Mormon, you are blessed. You did something right in the Battle of Heaven to be able to come down and have a family and be white and live in America the Mormon. the Mormon. the Mormon. the Mormon. the Mormon. I the Mormon. I the Mormon. I tha Mormon. I tha Mormon. I tha Mormon. I tha Mormon. I tha Mormon. I tha Mormon. I tha tha tha thoomomomomomorouomomomomomomomomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomomomomomomomomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomomomomomomomomomomomombombombombombombombombamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamam. I tha. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Iaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Ia. Ia tha thato be able to come down and have a family and be white and live in America and be a Mormon. I was a great warrior in the

pre-existence. I battled mightily so that I could come down to white parents and live in Utah at the last days. The most important time when Jesus was going to come, and of course Jesus was going to come at any time, like a thief in the night, they would say. And like a the the the the the the the the the the thief, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the, the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the thea., thea., the thea. thea. the the the. thea. thief in the night, they would say. And so I got beheaded. Yeah, you were not. You were a foot soldier. You were one of those people at the very front of the battle who just got shot with an arrow. Right? You were not a good soldier to die. But Mormons believe that their religion is the only religion that can get you back into heaven.

And Mormons believe that the only way you can get into heaven is if you have been baptized as a Mormon and you obey these rules because Mormonism was started in 1830. Think about the billions of people that were born before 1830 and never had this opportunity. It's got to be fair, right? Well they believe that when people die, they go to a waiting room, if you will, and they're presented with Mormonism and they can accept it or reject it, but if they accept it, they have to be baptized in the flesh. So Mormons will baptize people in proxy for these spirits, right? What's called baptism for the dead. So Mormons are very big on genealogy and they will find the names of all their ancestors and they will give them to the temple, and then people will go in and get baptized for them.

Now, as a teenager, I remember going to baptisms for the dead. And it was a big church activity. We would all get in vans, and we would go to these Mormon temples. And only worthy Mormons can get into the Provo Temple, they have this huge baptismal font. It looks like a massive hot tub, if you will, round, and it's held up on the backs of these statues of Oxen. And it's beautiful. But I remember, they put us all in white, and we were in a line, and we kind of walked down these stairs into the baptismal font, and there's a man in there. And there was a computer screen, and the the the they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and there was a their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and it was was a their, and it was was a their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.e.e.e. their their ta.e.e.e. their their ta. their their ta. their, their, their,, 84, and there was a computer screen, so it was a big, like, MS-Doss, computer screen, and it had the baptismal prayer, and then

there was a name underneath it. And I remember looking at him and they were all Polish, Jewish names. And the man would hold you as he's going to baptize you and then he'd read the baptismal prayer and then he'd say the name I baptize you in the name of the father son that holy ghost and then he'd say the name of the name of the father son that holy ghost and then he'd put me their name to. put me under the water and then you say the prayer again and then you say the prayer again and the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the prayer the prayer the prayer the prayer. .. the prayer the prayer the prayer the prayer the prayer the prayer the prayer the prayer. the prayer. the prayer. the prayer is the prayer. the prayer is the prayer is the prayer is the prayer is the prayer is the prayer is the prayer is the prayer. the prayer is the prayer. the prayer. the prayer. the prayer. the prayer. the prayer. the prayer. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their their. their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their their the prayer is. the prayer is. was so dizzying and weird and they taught you well that on the other side people are rejoicing because you went to the temple and you got baptized for them. It was so strange for this small town

Utah boy that some weird name in Poland that may have died some time I may have just made it so they could get into heaven. And it was really nice in many ways to know that. And then I think we all got pizza or whatever afterwards. But that was a very culty part of growing up. Well that's really fucking weird and not to mention a total waste of time. Yeah, it is. I mean just think of all the things you could knock off your to do list and said. And said. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. to their, to to to their, to their, to, to, their, to, to, to, their, I, I, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the tod, the told. And, their, to their, their, think of all the things you could knock off your to-do list and said you're busy baptizing dead people. Well I was 14 I didn't really have a to-do list that included playing outside and watching Mass. Sure, sure, I get it.

Yeah, or Magna P. I get it. It's pretty boundary crossing too. Like these poor dead people accept it or reject it in case they accept it, you're there as a fortune-year-old in the next life, in this waiting room. And then if they do accept it, you get baptized for them. to get it. Yeah, see, it all makes sense. I just need to explain it. It's not weird once I say what it's for.

Will you baptize me now, please? No, I'm not dead yet. We don't get you now, we'll fucking get you later. And when you're raised to believe that your religion is the only religion, the only keys to the kingdom that can get other people in, you look at people differently. I would look at people that didn't fight valiantly, and automatically, whether I wanted to or not, I'd think less of them, you know? And then later, my job was to convert them. And I spent two years of my life trying to convert people into religion. And if there's one element of cultiness that I lived in, it's being on a Mormon mission. And that's a great time for a commercial. You can't help but edit as you go, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I?? thi, I? thi, I? thi, I? thi, I? thi, I? thi, I? And, thi, I? And, I? And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, I? th. And, I? And, I? And, I? And, I? And, I? And, I? And, I? And, I? And, I? And, I th. And, thi? And, thi? thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And on a Mormon mission. And that's a great time for a commercial.

You can't help but edit as you go, can you, Tyler? Always editing. I'm like, I'm going to tell my story in exactly three-act structure. Hello, my name is Jackie Schimel. I'm the host of the Bitch Bible podcast. If you've never listened to the Bitch Bible Podcast, I genuinely feel terrible for you. Because up until this moment, you haven't really been living or experiencing true, untethered, unhinged, morally flexible joy,

infiltrating your ear canals on a weekly basis. The good news is, there's still time for you, Katie. Buckle up Buttercup, because I'm about to take you on a real bender. For pop culture musings, aggressive social commentary, both piping hot and barely lukewarm takes. Plus, charisma for days, make sure you listen to the Bitch Bible podcast, because objectively and unbiasedly, in my very humble opinion, it's the best podcast you will ever listen to. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gaffa, you'll be appalled. And guess what, Katie, you'll just keep coming back for more. So go listen to the bitch Bible podcast available

wherever you get your podcast. You're welcome. All right, welcome back. Okay, we are gonna play a new game on this show, ladies and gentlemen's called Cold Leader or not? Cure the game show, music, th th, th, th, th, th, you, th, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, you, th, you, th, you, th, thi, you, the thi-Ca, you, you, you, you, you, thi-Ca, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you'll thi, you, you, you, you, you, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the thi, the the thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. a new game on this show, ladies and gentlemen, it's called Cold Leader or Not. Here the game show, Music Robb. Welcome to Cold leader or not. The rules are simple. We play a clip and you try and guess, Cold Leader or not.

True story, I came up with this game when I was slightly high on those Dream Viamys. It's a tax deduction. Feel free to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to play to to to to to to to to to to to the the. It's a tax deduction. Feel free to play along at home. Are you ready? Oh, I'm ready! You were born, you were just waiting to have a game to do your game host voice. Yeah, uh-huh. Okay, so basically you're going to play a clip, and I'm going to guess if it's a cult leader or just a regular leader person.

Or another person. ready ready ready or what you might call authentic beauty unencumbered by structure and authenticity has a type of structure to it or I should say a lack thereof whereas inauthenticity that's Keith Renary yeah co-leader you know that's an easy one will start you off with a softball. That is call leader, Keith Reniery, one point for Liz. Ching, Ching. Ching.

Ching. Ching. If we don't trust each other, if I don't trust you, that means you won't watch for danger. Bad system of survival. The world is filled with danger, things that are trying to frustrate our lives or reduce our success, reduce our opportunity for success. We have no control over these forces. These are a constant and they're not going away. Is that happen?

I don't know. I'm not giving any clues. told us. to. Wow. Yeah, yeah. That is no points for you, Liz. One point Tyler, one point Liz. Okay. All right, here is the next one, co-leader or not? It is a mind-reeling thought. The information that might one day come fluttering through our radio telescopes from an advanced civilization somewhere else. Any communication I think will be mostly from them to us because they will have very

little to learn from us and probably an enormous amount to teach us. Not just in areas of science, but in other areas some of which we can only dimly guess at today. We can't hold back. We've already communicated our presence to the universe. Is that a cult leader or not? Okay, there is just a bunch of word salad in that. So I'm gonna go with cult leader. You are incorrect, Liz. That is Carl Sagan.

What? Carl Sagan talking about life and the possibility of life on other planets. Rob, help me out, man. I have new information here. Okay, man, this is hard. All right, last one. How much word salad was in there? A lot.

Maybe and one day and then they'll come and it will be. And then the thing will come and that's our universe. I mean, there's no context to it, obviously, what he says before and after, but that is Carl, that is, that most brilliant minds of our generation or any generation. Sorry. Okay, next one then. This one is going to be a cult later because just by the way... Oh, well, no, I mean, maybe it's not. Okay. I could have thrown a curveball to you.

All right. Inhabitants of the moon are more of a uniform size than the inhabitants of the earth being the tho-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-o-a-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-s-o-o-s. tho-s. thii-s. thi-a-a-a-oanan is is thiiii-oan is thiiii-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s.ee-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thininininna-s. thininuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. thi- style and are quite general in style or the one fashion of dress. They live to be very old, coming generally near a thousand years. Call later or not? Why are you laughing? The inhabitants of the moon are a more uniform size than the inhabitants of the earth. This is very silly. This is not a serious person.

Call later. Yeah, it's a cold leader. Yeah, of course. That was AI. I a-I-A-I'd that voice because that is from Joseph Smith. Oh. Yeah, so who apparently said that there are inhabitants of the moon who are about six feet tall and they dressed like Quakers, and they're about a thousand years old. So... This was 150 years ago that he said this? Yeah of course and they dress everyone dressed

like Quakers then so what else would they be wearing moon boots I would think but to be fair they probably have updated their style since then so I take back my statement all right well you were on two points two for four Liz to try and sneak that fast ball past me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the the to the their to their their to to to to to to to th I to their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to to to the. to to to to to thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. two points, two out of four, two for four, Liz. Don't try and sneak that fastball past me, Liz. Two out of four. We will continue to play that game every once in a while, and next time you can stump or try to stump me. I will and I'm excited. Okay, I did, okay.

But to be fair, you did a good job. It's typical clips. All right. Should we go back to Tyler? Mormons are very good at propaganda. They're very good at marketing. They're very good at making videos. They're very good at writing songs. We probably all remember from the 70s and 80s those commercials, the Mormon commercials.

From the Mormons, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It's often life's small moments that bring the greatest memories. They'll let their magic pass you by. Don't let the magic pass you by. From the Mormons, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Warm, fuzzy family commercials that make you feel good. And they had a lot of like film strips growing up, and they had a lot of videos, and they had a lot of songs. And one of the songs that you're taught as just a child is, I hope they call me on a

mission. And as a boy, mostly as a boy, you're taught the song and you sing it and it's I hope they call me on a mission when I have grown a foot or two I hope by then I will be ready to preach and teach and work as missionaries do I still remember it and I sang it every when I was eight years old but you're just kind of taught that you graduate from high school you're 18 years old and you go on a Mormon mission and I'd always land on that. taught that you graduate from high school, you're 18 years old, and you go on a Mormon mission, and I'd always planned on that. And how long is the mission?

Two months? Two months? Two years? Two years? So you don't go from high school? So you don't go, you don't plan your life around where you're going to go to college? You're thinking about your mission. A lot of my friends went to college and, you know, got scholarships to play baseball or some of them got married. I decided to go on a mission. And so what does that mean exactly?

Okay, so the Mormon faith sends hundreds of thousands of well-educated, white, for the most part, clean, well-spoken men and also women, not as many, into the mission field. And I mean you'd want to talk about a incredibly hard-working, unpaid sales team. That is the Mormon missionaries. Spread the religion, and they'll say other things like your job is to be a service of the community, but no, it was to bring other people into the religion. And they'll say other things like your job is to be a service of the community. But no, it was to bring other people into the faith. Recruit. Recruit. And to baptize.

Before you go on a mission, you have to be a worthy member of the Malkesedic Priest as a man. And the priesthood is the power of God on the Baptist. the Baptist. And then it was it was it was it was it was it was the the priest it was the priest it was the priest the priest the priest the priest the priest the priest is the priest the priest the priest the priest the priest the priest the priest the priest the priest the priest stood the priest stood the priest stood the priest stood the priest stood the priest stood the priest stood is the priest stood is the priest stood is the priest stood to to to to the power the power the priest. the power the priest. the power the power the power the power the priest. the priest. the priest. The power of the priest. the priest. the priest. the priest. the priest. the priest. the priest. the priest. the priest. It is the priest is the priest and the priesthood is supposedly passed down from God to Jesus to John the Baptist and then it was restored through Joseph Smith and that is the power that men have and you are bestowed that power as a 12 year old boy you get that power and they lay their hands on their heads and they say I bestow one to you the power of the priesthood and you're given the ironic priesthood which is like the starter priesthood right and with that you have certain powers you can do certain things in the church that well girls can't

you catch my draft here and then as you get older and more worthy you get the Melchazic priest and that's a higher priest that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's the the that's the that's the that's is the the that's is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. I I that. the. the. the. that. the. that. that. that's that. that's that. that's that. that. the. th. the. that's a higher priesthood that you have as a man, which means I can do more cool things, like make fireballs, and shoot fireballs, and I have a cloak of disappearance. No, I mean, you can do things like give blessings and heal people supposedly. Can you work out my shoulder? The Malkhezic priest is long gone from this fella, I'll tell you. And it also allows you to go on a Mormon mission.

So before I went on my Mormon mission, I was given the Malkesic priesthood, also before I went out a Mormon mission, I was given what is called a patriarchal blessing. And this is where you go to a patriarch, and this man has special gifts. What a patriarch does is essentially he lays his hands upon your head and he determines your pre-existence, what tribe you came from, and a bit about your future, right? And it's a very worthy moment and I remember having to fast before and pray, but I went into his house and I remember it was like a Thursday night and I could tell you it just probably wanted to watch cheers.

It was so important for me as an 18 year old kid or 17 at the time and he just like treated it like I got to get this done and he put his hands on my head and he, you know, he told me of my past and he told me, you know, I had these things in the future. I don't even remember it, I should have brought it and read it. But I remember that it was kind like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the the the the the so the th of like th of like the so th of like th th th, it was kind of like th th th. It was kind of th. It was kind of like th. It was kind of like th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I, I, I, I the, I, I the, I the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I the. I'm, I the. I the. I the. I to. I've, I've,the sooth-saying element of reading your past, being able to see behind the curtain, the veil of what you were in the pre-existence and what you will be. But mostly I was just disappointed by it. But then you have to go into the Mormon temple.

And we could do an entire episode on the teaughts of the Mormon temple. And there are Mormon tempesmauples themauples themahemples their their their their their themples themples themples themples. themple. themple. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. the. that is that is that is that is that is that that that that that that that that that that that that that is is is. that is, that is, that that is that that you are that is is that is that is that is. that is that is. that is. that is. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. that is a th th th th th th th th th thean. th th thean. th th thean. that's, that that that that that that that thau. toda And there are Mormon temples all over the world. You're not allowed to go as an outside member. You have to be a member of faith in good standing. And you're sworn to secrecy that you can't talk about the things that happen in the temple, else you'll go to hell. No, it's not a cult. Let's forget what I said about it, you can't talk. to what I said about. You can't about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about the the the the thi their thi thi their thi. You can't their their their their their thi. You can't their thi. You can't thi. You can't thi. thi. their their their thi. thi. You have thi. You have their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. You thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. temple. But it's weird stuff, and most of it I don't remember. But I was just aghast because it was these weird portrayals of heaven and hell and veils and you had to stick your hand through a veil and there are secret handshakes that when you die, you have to remember these secret handshakes because that the veil is the veil, the veil to get into heaven. If you don't have the secret. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the to be. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the thii. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm, thi. I'm thi. I'm to be to be to be to be thr-------------------------------------------s. thoomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomkykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykykyananananan't thoananananananananededed. thoovedeaeaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseasease, to-aease, to-a-a into heaven if you don't have the secret handshake into heaven You can't get in I remember a few of them here this one is the sign of the cross sign of the nail Sign of the nail something like that yeah, oh yeah, that's where he was nailed. Yeah, I don't remember any others so he being in I may be able to fake my way in I just remember like it was built up to be such a holy place and that no evil

can penetrate the walls of this building and I remember being in there and I was an 18 year old kid and I had like a dirty thought and I remember I had one and I was just like how did that get through how in the world did I have a thought about a booby how did the booby's entered the sacred space? Exactly. But I quickly put it out of my mind and and I kind of was dumbfounded. I was really blown away by what the Mormon Temple is. Old men and women dressed in white giving handshakes and at altars and pretending to be, it's too far for me to go

into. Regardless. Super culte. I had to do that. I had to do that in order to go on a mission. When you do that, they give you magic underwear. Garments, Liz, they call them garments. Can I have magic underwear? I don't know. You probably can't have magic underwear. These will vibrate.

They're not that magical. They protect you. Not that magic. And they are long, it's like wearing a t-shirt all the time and the underwear is like white and it goes all the way down to your, almost your knees. You have to wear them all the time. The only time you can't wear them is when you're showering and sex. And there are some people I know who still wear them during sex but yeah they're not that magic I abhorred them I hated them you know every call has a justification for all their weird things so it was the justification for

the magic underwear and it's all about the protecting you from evil and demons and we talked about the pre-existence what happened to those individuals who fought for Satan they never got a body they were never they never they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th to th th to to th to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they never came down to earth. And they're so mad at you and me that we got a body, they're going to spend all of eternity trying to get me to think about boobies. Or, you know, have a cup of coffee. Yeah, right. Which seems like such a waste of time. Like who holds a grudge for that long, regardless. So there's a lot of like protecting, these garments are to protect you from these individuals who are constantly slinging arrows wanting you to sin. Souls. Yeah. Dark souls or demons, basically, yeah. But it didn't protect your arms.

So they could get in through here. My Achilles tendon, they could come at me. That's so great. The underwear did have, it had symbols, it had like little symbols by the nipples, one by the knee and one by the genitals. It signified something. We have a lot of Mormon listeners. I'm sure they probably know about it more than I do right now, but I had to wear those. There are missions all over the world, and you don't know where you're going to go, but getting the mission call is a big deal.

It's a very big deal. And I was very excited to find out where it was going to go, because I was hoping for France. I've always kind of had a love affair with France. And my best friend, who was the son of the bishop, he got his call before me and he was going to Fiji. I was like, oh my God, where am I going to go? And I was so excited to know that I was going to go somewhere in the world and learn a language. And you're so nervous about your mission call and when it's going to come and it's supposed to come in an envelope. I kept checking the mailbox. And this shows the post office called us the day it came and they said your mission call is

here do you want to come pick it up? So my mom went and picked up the mission call and everyone was around us and I had this like preconceived notion there's this marketing materials of you know people getting their mission calls and be like you're going to Prague Czechoslovakia and they're like well my god let's look at the globe of where it is and I had that like like like like the like the like the like the like the like the like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the mission.e. the the the the the the the mission. the the the the the the the the globe of where it is. And I had that like idea, like, we're going to find out where Fiji is and point to it on a map. So I found my mission call, actually, oddly enough. So I'm just going to read it. Well, you have it?

Yeah, so I actually found it. I actually found my actual call. There it is. The letter had the church of Jesus Christ, the Church. Christ of Latter-day Saints dated September 13th, 1990. Dear Elder Miesum, you are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Missouri Independence Mission. Ah, Missouri?

Yeah. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 24 months. You should report to the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah on Wednesday, 14th of November 1990. And then it goes on. It really, it says Missouri guys. What I let down. What I let down. Sorry, I was bucking for France and I got Missouri. Missouri. Well, you know what they say about Missouri. It's nothing like France.

It's sexier. Part it was also Iowa and Kansas and Nebraska. What are you so let down? Yeah, I didn't admit it, but I think I was a little let down. You know, one can't really dispute that because it comes from the leadership of the church. And mind you, listeners, the Mormon church is led by a prophet who supposedly receives revelation directly from God, much like prophets of old, Moses, Abraham, John Wayne.

To some, John Wayne is probably a prophet. Did you ever find out how they choose who goes where? I mean, no, I don't know, and it's a mystery and it's shrouded in the mystery. Who knows, they may have pulled up my high school transcripts and been like, this kid is not, this is a C student. We're sending him to Missouri. You won't make it off the plane. Exactly. And it asked you, do you know any languages

on your application? And I'd, you know, gotten a Z minus in French. France. I had gotten a C minus in France. I mean, it was honestly a bit of a let down. But I couldn't let them know that. I couldn't. If I'm going to Independence, Missouri or that area, I'm going there because somebody from the preexistence lives in Kansas. And I, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'd th, I'd th. I'd to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get, Missouri, or that area, I'm going there because somebody from the pre-existence lives in Kansas and I promised that I would convert them. And I was for the most part kind of excited. I was very excited to go on this Mormon mission. And by the way, they don't pay you, of course, you pay to go on this mission. I was going to say, if you got sent to Fiji, would you have to pay, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I, and I'm, and I'm, and, and, and, I'm, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toa. to. toa. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the., would you have to pay for your flight? You don't pay for flight. The church I think pays for that. So what about room and board? Yeah, you pay for that.

You go to this thing for them and you have to pay for it? Yeah, I know it's quite a con, isn't it? You're out there selling for this company and you're paying for thrown, thiiiii....... I worked really hard for the period before and saved up a lot of money so that I could go on a mission and my family my parents paid for it and again we were poor and it was probably very hard for my parents to send their child off and paying for his room and board and food and travel and clothes. Oh my god. So I saved up as much money as I could and you know when you go on a mission you have to wear a white shirt and a tie and dark pants and nice shoes all the time except for on P-day. We'll get

further into that but I had to prepare by getting two suits and white shirts and ties and mind you I do not like ties. I hated wearing church clothes I couldn't wait to get home and immediately pull my to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to be. to be. to bea. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I'm, their. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. And, their, their. And, their, their. And, their. And, their. And, the the the the the the the the the the the the tie. And, tie. And, tie. And, tieuu. And, tieu. And, tieu. And, tieu. And, tieu. And, tieu. And, tieu. And, tieu. And, the tie I still do not like ties, I hated wearing church clothes, I couldn't wait to get home and immediately pull my tie off, but I knew that for two years I was going to have to wear a white shirt and a tie. Every single day. Every single day. So, you find out what, like at the end of your senior years, you have the summer to prepare and then?I thu.I.I th th th thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu, thu thu thu thu thu. thu. I thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu, but for thu thu, but for thu, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. But, for thu. thu. thu. thu. to to to to to to to to to to to to to tie, to tie, toee is your Scorpio? Which means nothing to me. Regardless, I had a few months to prepare and plan and get ready. And you do a mission farewell, you get up in your church and you speak and you say things and people come and

you're kind of treated like a, you know, a hero being sent off to war. Farewell, Elder. Mission well. When you leave, you check into what is called the mission the mission the mission the mission the mission to the mission to the mission to to to the mission, to to the mission, to to to to to the mission, to to the mission, to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to me, to me, to me, to me to me to, to, to me, to me, to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, the the the the the the the toe, the toe, the, toea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. toea. Mason. Soldier. Mission well. When you leave, you check into what is called the Mission Training Center or the MTC. And this is a campus in Provo, Utah. You're put in this area, you're stuck in dorm rooms with other missionaries, you're completely cut off. And it's kind of a chamber in a way to kind of take you out of the world before they send you off back into it.

And it's filled with a bunch of Mormons and young men and some young women. And all they do all day is you learn lessons, you pray, you learn how to be a better missionary, and they kind of just rapidly indoctrinate you. I was there for I think two weeks, maybe, three weeks, I forget. If you go on a foreign mission and you go to France, they keep you there a little bit longer because you try to learn the language. So it's like a three-week boot camp. Basically, you are taught how to be a Mormon missionary and a better man. It's all day long, right? All day. You sleep there, you wake up there there there there there there there there their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. thathea thathea thathea thathea th. thatheatheatheat. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to to to to to to to to to to toeeea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. thea. thea. to lessons. What are some of the lessons that you're learning? Is it just teaching you how to preach, basically?

Basically, you know, your job is to go out and to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ to other individuals. And sometimes you have to be taught that. You know, the principles and basics of the gospel of Jesus Christ, i. Ie Mormonism. so they they they they they they really really really really really really really really really really they they really really really really they really really they really really they really they really really they really they really really they really they really they really they really they really they they really they really they they really they really really the the the the the the the the their their the gospel of Jesus Christ, i.e. Mormonism. So they really teach you some of those things, I guess. And also you're prepared, you know, what are the rules, what is the mission going to be like? So fast forward, you prep, you indoctrinate. At the end of this sort of three weeks,

are you feeling like more in it than you've ever been. I was ready to go out and preach to go and preach to go and preach and prophet of God. I believed that the book of Mormon, which was translated from gold plates, was real. I believed that by doing this, I would get into the celestial kingdom and possibly one day be a god. What were your thoughts on polygamy at this point? I didn't know anything No, I didn't know. I didn't know. There was a lot of things about the faith I did not know. And it was easier to keep those secrets in 1990 pre-internet. I didn't know a lot of things I have since learned. Okay, so. We get on a plane and they fly us to Missouri.

There were a group of guys that were all going there. And it was a small group, five six of us. We all flew to Kansas City, Missouri, and we were picked up in a van, very excited, fresh-faced, new suits, new white shirts, and we were taken to a big meeting. Every missionary would come in and we'd have a big meeting. And I met all over the world. They're from all over the world. God wanted them to be there. And I met the mission president.

Now, missions are led by a mission president. It's usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually usually th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. to. to. toe. toe. too. too. too. toe. toe. too. too. too. too. toa. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. to. toe. toe. toe. the the the the the the the the the the the the t. the t. the the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. the mission president. Now, missions are led by a mission president and it's usually a man and his wife who are retired and they go out on a mission as well. And they are not being paid, but they are in charge of all of these kids. A little bit about missions. They're very much run like a business. And they have to be. They're dealing with, you know, 250 kids, 19, 20, 21-year-old boys and some girls who are away from their moms and dads. So it has to have a lot of organization and a lot of moving parts. And there was very hierarchical. If you did well, if you looked good, if you had a good haircut and you spoke well, you immediately became in the higher ranks.

And I was thrown into this as this dip shit joker who liked Led Zeppelin. But you're fresh out of high school. Like, yeah. I mean, it sounds very similar to my kegstand and indoctrinations that I had to do into my college experience. That sounds similar, yeah. So there I was, in Kansas, and I had no idea what the next two years of my life was going to entail. But we will find out just what those years were like next week for the second and final part of Tyler Kent. Three some threesome. like next week for the second and final part of Tyler Kent,

Threesome, Miesom's incredible tale. Nice. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Mr. Miesom. Of course, it was fun to be here even though it's my job. Was I Nicole, his written, produced and hosted by mostly me. I do most of the work around here. Yeah, you do. And we all appreciate you for it. The banner is hung for you. Thank you.

Oh, and also me. I'm around every once in a while, Tyler Miesom. And we have a man who wears boots and green socks and sports a beard and curly hair. I'm more than my physical appearance Liz. And behind the glass is the wonderful Stacey Parra. And our executive producer, the only adult in this room is Stephen Labram. And the video engineer is Gabby Rap.

So wrap it up. Bitches. Wrap it up, bitches.