Was I In A Cult? - Tyler’s Story Part 2: “Man On a Mission”

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

Today is the final part of your fearless co-host, Tyler Measom's, story of being raised a Mormon, and finding the strength to finally say goodbye to the underwear. Now an acclaimed filmmaker and podcaster, much of Tyler’s work is inspired by the shadows of his past. He would go on and on, but Liz is telling him to wrap it up. So, enjoy the episode. And if you haven’t listened to PART 1 yet, do so first. Thanks again, Tyler, for your candor and insight.  LINKS Follow Tyler: @tylermeasom Follow us: Instagram @wasiinacult Want Tyler’s Magic Underwear? Support Us: https://www.patreon.com/wasiinacult Have a story to share on our show? Email us: [e-mail] Recommended Reading: Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith by Martha Beck Try VIIA Hemp! https://bit.ly/viiainacult and use code INACULT!

I was 20 and I was in Kansas and every day you did the same thing. Every day you woke up and you preached and you prayed and you talked to people and you found ways to fill your day by converting individuals and it got exhausting and some days I just wanted to not do it. And I'm continually questioning my faith. Do I really believe this? Welcome back guys to Was I in a Cult? A show that gives people who are in cult or cultic environments the chance to tell their story and take their power back. I'm Lizzie. And me, I'm Tyler Miesum. And today is the second part of our very own tiler their own tiler their story. I'm their own tiler the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Im. Im. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Im. I'm. Im. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I their their their their their their their their their their their their power back. I'm Lizzie Kuzzi. And me, I'm Tyler Miesum. And today is the second part of our very own Tyler Miesom's personal story of growing up as a Mormon. So if you haven't

listened to the first part yet, go do that now and then come back here. Right. So where did we leave off? Tyler was a good blonde mom and boy. His biggest rebellion was putting dry ice bombs in random people's mailboxes. Growing up in a small Utah town, he like any one of us wanted to wanted to get his own planet one day. It's a Mormon thing. So in order to do that he goes on a two-year mission and dreams of a being in France. But he gets Missouri instead. So in today, he really need a today. two-year mission and dreams of a being in France. But he gets Missouri instead. Did we really need a full episode? I mean, kind of just cover the whole thing

in that 15-second recap. Too late. Say the word boobies. Yeah, a lot. So since this episode is just more of the two of us yapping on, let's just get into it, shall we? Yeah, let's do it. Don't spare my life. Crucify.

We're interviewing Tyler Miesum, for those of you. I'd like to think it's more of a conversation than an interview. We're interrogating, Tyler. It's very Abu Ghraib. Liz is building towers of naked men and dogs barking at the subjects. That would be fun. That would be fun. A grave comedy is solid.

So underused. It is. It is. Well, picking up where we left off. Now, some rules of the mission is, you know, obviously there's no drinking, there's no smoking, no dating, no newspapers, there's no magazines, there's no books, there's no movies, there's no music other than church prescribed music, which is basically the Mormon tabernacle choir and stuff. For the Lord God who people tell you tell you them.

Aligio, Aligiria, Alibia, Alibia, alaoia, and you can't have any communication with your family or friends. You can call home for Christmas, Mother's Day or something like that. But that's the only really time you can talk to your family. And also you have to have somebody with you all the time. The only time you don't is when you're in the bathroom. So you are with a man all the time and you are assigned that individual, that is your companion. Now many of our the the th of tho our thi of thi of thi of thi of thi of thi of thi of thi thi thi thi you are assigned that individual, that is your companion. Now many of our listeners may have seen the wonderful Book of Mormon musical.

Wow! Two by two, we're marching door to door, because God loves Mormons and he wants some more. A two-year mission is our sacrifice. We are the army of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Which portrays a Mormon mission. You know, it's close in some ways. You're not assigned one companion, your entire mission. You jump around, or one area. Usually you go from area to area and they move people around,

because otherwise you'd be stuck with one dude for two years. You're sent to an area as two missionaries. You're told to go to this town and convert as many people as you can and that's where you're going to live. Again, you don't know where you're going to go, what town you're going to go to, or who you're going to be stuck with. And every month, they can just pick you up and move you to a new area. And you're prepared for that. So I didn't know where I was went to this little town and I met my companion, Gior Grindel. He was an officer in the Austrian army, and he was hard, his nails.

How old is he? He was a little older. He had converted to the church, so his parents weren't really happy that he'd gone on a Mormon mission, smart parents. And he was my companion, so I was stuck with him. And I'm in this little town, and it's cold as hell. And it was December, and it was Christmas, and I'm stuck with this guy. And all we did was walk around. We didn't have bikes, we didn't have a car, and we walked around all day trying to convert people.

And then are you missing your parents? This is the first time you've ever been away from home. It th, I th, I th, I th, I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, tho, tho, that, that, and I'm, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thin, thereea, thereea, thereea, thereea, thereea, thereea, thereea. And, thereea, thereea, thereea, and, this is the first time you've ever been away from your family. It is, I never lived away from home. And like what people like take their kids to college and like ball for weeks, you had no time to do that. Yeah, I mean my parents were very proud of me. My community was very proud, my fo-my frown, my ward, which was very proud. my which was my congregation. to. the, to. I. I. I. the, toe. the, toe, the, toe, the, the, toe, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their was driven into me this phrase, the best two years. It's the best two years of your life. It's the best two years of your life. And so, you know, this is going to be the best two years of your life. You're going to learn, you're

going to grow, you're going to convert people into the gospel of Jesus Christ. We're fighting for a cause. to really nice. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. the. to. their. their. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It. It is. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is, the best. It is, the best. It is the the the best. It is the best. It is is is the best. It is is is is the best. It is is the best. It is the best. It is the best of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Now the rules are you have to wake up at 6 in the morning and then you have to pray, you have to do scripture study, you have to have breakfast, then you have to pray again and leave the house and I think you have to leave at 8 o'clock on the nose. And this guy made sure of it. You come back for lunch for at night or something like that. We would walk around in the cold and we'd try to approach people on the streets. We'd go up to people in the middle of a park and say, hi. Are you interested in the hearing about the gospel of Jesus Christ?

And we would like to share with you this book of Jesus Christ. And it was strange doing that, you know, it was really weird to just get out of my comfort zone. They kept talking about it, get out of your comfort zone. This is important. You're doing them a favorite. You're selling them eternal salvation. This is important. You promised somebody in the pre-existence that you would find them. They're out there. And they may have just walked past you and you missed your chance. So you had to talk to everyone. So you did this every single day and where were you what were your sleeping quarters? We'd stay in small apartments and again you know we were paying for this opportunity and we were also allotted a small budget for food which was not a lot. So we had to do our own shopping we had to do our own housework, do our own laundry and we had to do missionary work

six days a week. On Mondays we got a day off. They called it a P-Day. P-Day meant it was short for preparation day, but it wasn't really a day off because you'd prepare. And that was the one day we didn't have to wear a white shirt and tie. So we were able to wear normal clothes. However, we still had to found my name tag and just coincidentally I'm wearing a white shirt so I'm going to put this name tag on that says elder me some. I have two of them. It wouldn't work for me. No you'd be sister. You'd be sister Iacuzzi. So you forgo your first name and you're only referred to as elder,

elder whatever your last name is. You would just wear this and you'd wear that all day, every day. I feel so I've not put that on in many a year. That's amazing. Yeah, you would stand out. I mean, you would be walking down the street, short hair, no facial hair, obviously. White shirt and everyone would know you were a Mormon missionary, and they would run the other way. They would lock their doors, you would know know, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their way. They wouldn't go the opposite direction. They would lock their doors. You would knock on doors and you know they were in there.

And if you let us in we'll show you how it can be done. Oh, thanks. Sure. Well, that's fine Goodbye. I that fun in hell. But they wouldn't come to the door. That must have felt not great. No, I mean look. There's a part of being a Mormon that allows you, you have a Mormon exceptionalism. You're lucky, you're fortunate to have this religion, and you're fortunate to be able to give that religion to other people. And there's also a part of that as the persecution. Mormons have long been persecuted for their beliefs.

I mean, it's not on the Jewish level, but they've been persecuted for their beliefs, the Most of them were because they practiced polygamy, but that's a whole different podcast. So there's a part of Mormonism where you're persecuted because you're right, and that's what you're taught. And you'd feel bad if someone would reject this word that you had. You didn't feel bad for yourself. You'd feel bad for them. Yeah, we talk to people and get the people and get the people and get the people and get the people and get the people and the people and the people and their their their their their their thoe and their their talked to people and get rejected and get rejected and occasionally you would be able to sit down and talk to somebody. You'd be

able to say we want to teach you about the Church of Jesus Christ or Latter-day Saints. You know look the the Mormon faith does a really good job of presenting itself. They're very good at marketing, they're very good at pamphlets, commercials, advertising. So while it was a strange religion, you know I wasn't selling something cold. People knew about it and they'd say, okay, come by my house, here's my address. And when you did that, you would sit down with them and you would teach them the lessons. And you had a little flip charts and you know just little boys sitting in there and and you know it was very like make sure you lean forward and you have their eye attention

Convey effectively and you would teach them about Jesus God and you teach them about the church of Jesus Christ and you teach the story of Joseph Smith. And you know the short version of Joseph Smith and you know the short version of Joseph Smith is that in 18, he was 1815, something 1810. I'm going to take you back to biblical times, 1823. A young man in upstate New York didn't know what church to attend. There were a lot of churches. So he went off to a grove of trees, and he knelt down, and he asked God, which church should I join of all of these churches? And he was overcome by darkness and he couldn't move, and then a light shined above him.

And two personages appeared, God and his son Jesus Christ. That's right, that young man spoke to God. And they were floating there bathed in light. God said, Joe, people really need to know that the Bible is in two parts. There's a part three to the Bible, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, the Bible, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and tho, and tho, and tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their their their thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And the, and the that the Bible is in two parts. There's a part three to the Bible, Joe. And they told him, do not join any church. None of them are true. But hang around and we'll give you directions on the real church of Jesus Christ, which we will set up. Later that night, an angel appeared to him in his room. Then appeared an angel. His name was Boronai. And said we're going to give you you you you you you you you you you you you to you to you to you to you to you to to to the to the the to give their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Don. Don. Don. their. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He said, t. He said, t. He said, t. He said, t. He said, t. He said, t. He said, t. He said, today. He said, t. He. He. He. He. He. He. And said, we're going to give you some good news, Joseph. And eventually, they led him to gold plates that were buried in the earth.

Wow, God says, go to your backyard and start digging. That makes perfect sense. Joseph Smith went up on that hill and dug where he was told. And deep in the ground, Joseph found shining plates of gold. It were a record of the people that lived here in America. And Joseph Smith translated these golden plates from ancient eras. Of course he did. Joseph took the plates home and wrote down what he found inside.

He turned those plates into a book, then he rushed into town and cried. He God spoke to me and gave me this blessed ancient told. And that became the Book of Mormon. Another testament of Jesus Christ, Scripture, and the th. the thi. thi. And, thi. And their thi. And thi. And thi. And their, thi. And thi. And their, thi. And thi. And their thi. And their thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And the the golden the golden the golden the golden the golden the golden the golden the golden the golden the golden the. And thi. And the golden thi. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And thi. And thi. And, thi. And, thi. blessed ancient toe. And that became the Book of Mormon. Another Testament of Jesus Christ, scripture written by prophets in America, American prophets. While the Bible was obviously written in Jerusalem, the Book of Mormon was written in America, a record of ancient peoples. This is a history of my race. Please read the words within. We were Jews who met with Christ, but we were all Americans.

After Jesus was resurrected, he went in the tomb, he came back. Zombie Jesus, he goes back to heaven, right? Guess where else he went? Who doesn't want to go to America? Came down to America, he visited the American people at that time and there's a record of him coming. Joseph Smith then set up the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints known as the Mormons. We call ourselves Mormon and our new religion is all American. Well how much is a cause? And you would say all of this. I mean I gave you the condensed version obviously.

But yeah I would we would teach these people about the Church of Jesus, I gave you the condensed version, obviously. But yeah, we would teach these people about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterty Saints. And our goal, our job was to get that individual or those individuals baptized. OK, pretend I'm said. Investigator is what we would call you. You would be an investigator.

I'm an investor. And I'm like, that's cool. What do I do? We would then challenge them to be baptized. Do you believe this is true? Now? Maybe I should go back a little bit. Maybe you missed the part about God and Jesus coming down? They came down to a young 14-year-old boy, Liz. Okay, I believe you now. Our job would be to invite the Holy ghost the ghost the holy the holy the holy the holy the holy the holy the holy the ghost the ghost the ghost the ghost the ghost the ghost the ghost the ghost the ghost to be the the to be to be the the to be. I. I. I. I'm, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be the the the the to be the the the the toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. Our job would be to invite the Holy Ghost into this person's home and help this investigator feel the Holy Ghost, thereby confirming the truth of this story that I just told you. At that moment, we would say, what do you think about this? And they would say, well, it seems cool, I guess. I've heard of it or whatever. I don't know, and we'd th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. to say, thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. or whatever I don't know crazy but and we'd say why don't you have God convey to you if this is true or not by praying and we'd say we're gonna do that and I

would we would get on our knees and we'd ask them to pray and we'd say pray to God if this is true and we will wait for you to get that answer and so they they kne kne kne kne kne kne kne to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. the. I I thus. I the. the. the. the. the. I the. the. the. the. to the. to to to to to to to to to to to the. to get that answer. And so they kneel and they'd pray and we just sit there in silence and then they'd say something like, well, I do. I think I feel something good. And we'd say that is the holy ghost confirming to you that this is true, that what we have told you is true. If this is true and God's only true true church is on the earth now, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thr-i, thr-i, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, the the the the the tho, tho, the throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Well, yeah. And we want to challenge you to be baptized, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and we would like you to be baptized on January 3rd, and we'd give them a date. On this date, you will be immersed in water and be baptized a member of the faith. And you'd be surprised how many people would do it. to throwne, thii. to be thi, thi, thi, thi, to be to be, to be, they, to be, to be, to be, the the, thrown, thrown, the the, thrown, thrown, the the, thrown, the the, and we'd th. th. throi, and, and we'd th. th. And, and we'd th. And, and we'd th. And, and we'd th. And, and we'd the the, and we'd the the, and we'd the the the the the the the the the the thi. And, and we'd the the the thi. And, and we'd they. And, and thrown, and thrown, and thrown, throwne? And, throwne? And, throwne? And, throwne. And, throwne. And, thr. throwne. And, thr. And thr. And thr. And throwne. And thr. And, th, and I want to be a member of the church. It was funny because it wasn't until after they said, yes, I believe this, I want to be a Mormon. I feel that this is right for me and my family. Then you'd go, okay, there's some things you can't do. You can't have sex, you can't drink

coffee, you can't drink alcohol. I'm can't have a latte? Where was it? You didn't teach me that. You order now, we'll also throw instead of steak knives! All American! Hey there, listeners. Have you guys ever had one of those moments where you feel stuck with no good options, like when you're dodging questions from that one ant at the family gathering, wondering, when are you going to settle down or when you're going to finally move back to the Midwest?

Oh, we've all been there. But while you might have to grin and bear it with awkward family members, you really shouldn't feel that way when talking to your doctor about your excessive hair growth and unusual places. TMI, Tyler. And that's where Zock, the. The place where you can find and book doctors who make you feel comfortable and actually listen to you. Yeah, and we're not talking about a few doctors. I mean, we're talking about tens of thousands of top-tier doctors, all of them with verified reviews from actual patients.

Zoc doc doc. Zoc doc is a free appare. search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Yep, no more awkwardly waiting on hold with a receptionist. And you can filter specifically for doctors who take your insurance are close by and treat any condition you need help with. Yeah, like your foreign accent syndrome. What are you talking about? You know this is actually a real problem, right? This is actually a real disease. Yes, FAS, it's called. Fall on the head and wake up speaking

like Russia. Yeah, well hopefully you can fall on your head again and fix it. And the typical wait time to see a doctor booked on ZocDoc is just 24 to 72 hours and you might even snag a same day appointment. So what are you waiting for? So what are you waiting for guys? Go to ZocDoc.com slash inn a cult and download the Zocdoc app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. I've got Sock doc.com slash in a cult. I'm a little hungry. Can we go have a snake now? You're on your own. I became a very good salesman. I learned how to effectively sell this. And what I would do is, I kind of broke the rules in some ways because a lot of the rules were you meet someone you baptize them, and I thought that's kind of bullshit. Mormon missionaries are very fastidious record keepers,

so I'd go through the old records and I'd be like these missionaries talk to this person three times and they said no and I would go back I wouldn't bring up religion at all which was completely against the rules. You had to challenge them on day one and I would just hang out and I'd play basketball with them or I'd took around and then I'd come back and then I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd their I'd th I'd th. th. th. th. tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' throwne'er. tho'er's tho'er's tho'er-a'er-a'er-a'er. tho'er. tho'er. tho'er. tho' tho'er. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. thi thi thi thi thi'n't thi'n't thi'n't thi'n't throwne. throwne. throwne. throwne. throwneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeanananan't throwneeeeeeeee wasn't pushy and then I would slowly invite them in so they would trust me a little bit more. And would they convert? Yeah I baptize a lot of people. How many people did you baptize? It was around 60-ish people which for a lot of missionaries that's a lot there were other missionaries who were baptizing hundreds and now it was a little dirty in fact there was a their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. I was thi. th. they were they were they were they were. they were. they were. they were. they would would would would would would would would would would would would they's, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, I I I I was a th. So, I was a thi. So, I was a thi. I was a thi. I was a thi. I was a thi. I was a thi. I was a t. I'm toge. I was a today. So, today. So, the thi. So, the the thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. was a little dirty. In fact, there was a lot of inner cities in Kansas City, and they would go into these inner cities with a van,

and they'd just say, we're taking everyone to church. And they'd take 20 kids to church, and if they were over eight, they would teach them the lessons, and they would baptize them. It happened all the tie. Because it was a racket, it was a, let's see how many people we can baptize. I never really resorted to like cheap number grabbing baptisms. I kind of went for quality over quantity in some aspects. There was one gentleman who, if there was one person I was meant to find and baptized it was him.

Probably 20, 30 missionaries had tried to convert this guy. He was married to a member and no one could. And I came in and I baptized this guy. And I made him a Mormon. And I remember like telling him, you can't drink beer now. And he was like, that's really hard. He goes, I don't drink a lot, but I'd go golfing. And I like to have a beer today. time you baptize somebody, the mission presidents find out and sort of... Oh yeah. Are they keeping track of all of your numbers? The president would talk every single night to the APs, assistant of the presidents who would then call the

zone leaders and the zone leaders would then call the district leaders and the district leaders would then call each individual missionary. So every single night you would get a phone call and theyp-a-di. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their president their president their president their president their president their president their their their their their their their president their p. So their president their president their president their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. So their. So their. So their. So their p. So their p. So. So. So. So. So. So, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their president. their president. their president. their president. their president. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. So. So, the I talked to these people, I talked to this person, we gave two lessons. Did you commit them to be baptized? Yes, did they say yes? No, but we'll go back tomorrow. Okay. So every single night you'd have this chain of hierarchy. Every month they'd have how many baptisms the mission got in the month. I rose in the ranks, but the thank, to to tooes, too, too, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, the, tho, the, tho, the, the, tho, tho, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, they. So, they. So, tho, tho, to, toda, to, today, to, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, tho, to, they called and they said, we're going to send you to a new area with a new companion. How often did they move you?

Like you sort of wear out a town or a... Well, no, they would keep missionaries there. If you left, new missionaries would move in. Okay, so one missionary would leave. There's always missionaries all over the world. There's in every town, there's a missionaries, probably here in there, They would not do well here in Beverly Hills, California. They would not knock on gated communities. One day they called and they sent me to Leavenworth, Kansas. And I had a companion who he was an awful guy.

And he said, the mission president wants me to take you out behind the woodshed and teach you a lesson. You need to work harder, you need to take you out behind the woodshed and teach you a lesson. You need discipline. You know, you need to work harder, you need to be a better missionary, and my job is to give you that. He was tough on me and he was a jerk. He would embarrass me in public. And he just made me feel small. He just made me feel awful and terrible all the time. And I was older than him. No, he was a bit older than me. Yeah, he'd been there longer.

He had risen the ranks. He was what was called an assistant to the president. So as far as missionaries go, he'd gone to the top. And he had six months left in his mission. in line and he would always say, I'm from New York. That's how we do it. I'm from New York. And I'm here to teach you and I'm from New York. And then later I learned he was from Rochester, you know, which is basically Canada.

You know, it's not like he was sitting on the stoops of Queens. Now, he was basically hardened in the suburbs of Rochester. On the corner of Maple and Elm. With his gang leaders, Chris and Chad. So he would like just bully me and I hated being there and I'd get letters from my friends whom I was very close to and they were hanging out and they were dating and you know they were in college reading books and going on road trips and I was stuck in Leavenworth, Kansas with this man who was horrible and I just hated it but I couldn't leave. one they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. tea. tea. togea. tea. thea. thea. thea. thea. worth, Kansas with this man who was horrible. And I just hated it, but I couldn't leave.

One day we were out far away from our apartment. It was a hot, broiling hot day and then all of a sudden these clouds just came over the entire city and everything went quiet and you could just feel the hairs on your arms, like electric almost. And then you hear these horns. A tornado was coming in. If you've been to Kansas, they have a lot of tornadoes. And my companion turns to me, he goes, we got to go.

And we got on our bikes and we just took off as fast as we could. We got home. We didn't know what was going on, what to do or if it was coming. We went over the neighbor's house. We were like, do you have a radio we can borrow? And they gave us a radio and, you know, plugs it in and he flips through the down. Zzzlip, trying to find some news. What should we do? Should we take shelter? Should we leave? What should we do? Zerlip? And let it sit on this song. And I hadn't heard music in six months, and coming from this small speaker and hearing music, I've always loved music.

It's a big part of my life. And it just overwhelmed me. I'm floated through the air I just could hear and it was so significant hearing. I still haven't found what I'm looking for. And it just kind of took me away. It was just beautiful and I just locked in and my companion somehow, he was very rigid, but he just let it sit. And then he changed it. He snapped, he was like, I can't be doing this. But that song still has a resonance for me. And my companion, he whipped me into shape. And not only did he whip me to shape, he made me an asshole. He made me just this coarse, mean guy.

And I... That's mean guy and I still haven't snapped out of that one have I? And I learned to be a very good teacher and I learned how to speak to the people and I learned how to really get them to believe in me and really effectively sell this thing that I genuinely at the time believed in and they had this method they called it the seven ways to invite the spirit. It was in a a a a the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. I, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm, I, I the the the thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I thi. I thi. I thi, I thi, I'm thi. thi. theeateateateateateate. tea. toea, toeate. I'm toe. I'm theatee. I'm their, I'm their, I'm the time believed in. And they had this method, they called it the seven ways to invite the spirit. It was in a while. Prayer, scripture, testimony, I don't remember, Felatio. I honestly don't remember the other. And boobies. I don't remember the other ones. They wanted you to hit all of these seven when you teach someone. And one day I was with a companion and we met this woman who wanted to hear the stories of Mormonism and I started

telling her about the church and I started telling her about Joseph Smith. I leaned forward and I looked her in the eyes and I told her these things. And it was always weird to bring in these seven ways to bring in the spirit. One of them was song. They thrown. thoed thoed thoed tho the tho the tho tho their their their their their their their their their thus their their their their thus, their their their their tho their thus, their, thoes, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their, and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was their, and I I was their, and I was their, I was their, I was their, I was their, their, tho, tho, tho-s, thoooooo'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'e in the spirit. One of them was song. They wanted you to sing a church song to a complete stranger. And I always felt it was weird, so I had this way to bring it in and I would go through the scripture and we'd pray and I'd tell her I believed in these things and I'd say, you know, when I was a young child, one day I woke up in, I had a bad dream and my mother came in and she held me. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to the the to to to the too. And I the the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theck. And. And Ieanananananananananananol. Ieck. Ieck. And. Ia. Ia. And. I was. I was. And. I was. And. And. And I was. And I was. And I was the of the night, I had a bad dream, and my mother came in and she held me. And I still remember being held by her, and she looked down at me and she sang me a song. She sang me the song I am a child of God.

And she sang, I am a child of God. And he has sent me here, has given me an earthly home with parents' kind. And he has sent me here, and given me unearthly home with parents kind and dear. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way, teach me all that I must do to live with him someday. And I looked over and she was crying. And my companion was crying. And the feeling in the room was just, you could, the spirit was so thick and so strong and I had effectively brought the holy ghost into this woman's heart and into her home and I said, if this is true, I challenge you to pray.

And she got on her knees and she prayed and I said, do you feel that? She said, I feel that. Do you want to be baptized on April 3rd? I do want to be baptized on April 3rd. And we set that date, and we go out to the car, and I sit next to my companion, and he, I can't believe how good that felt. The Holy Ghost was there, it was so strong. And he goes, that story you told about your mother

and singing the song was amazing. I can't believe that happened. And I go, that didn't happen. I made that up. I totally made that up. My mother wouldn't hold me. She'd say, go back to bed. I lied. I effectively lied in order to sell this religion. And he laughed. He couldn't believe it. And I was somewhat proud of myself.

So I was going to say, you could baptize me after that. You know, podcast one does have a pool pool Liz there is a pool outback. Now that I know it's bullshit. Yeah and it was bullshit and it didn't occur to me until a little later that I had used the tools of deception in order to convert someone into the faith. I'm shaking. You're doing amazing. I'm still like bringing all of this stuff up. I know it's... I haven't thought about this I haven't been in that world for years years. the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's bullshit th. It's bullshit th. It's bullshit th. It's bullshit th. It's bullshit th. It's bullshit th. It's bullshit th. It's bullshit th. It's bullshit th. It's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit it's bullshit th. It's bullshit the th. It's bullshit the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. their. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. bringing all of this stuff up. I know it's I haven't thought about this I haven't been in that world for years. There's still trauma around it. There's still because as I later found out I was deceived and consequently I deceived intentionally in some manners to convert these individuals. But that's part of it right you know you're deceiving but you're not because it's for a greater good. Sure. Yeah, yeah, you know you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're th you're th you're th you're th. th. thi thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I haven thi, I haven thi, I haven't th. I haven't th. I haven't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thii thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to convert these individuals. But that's part of it, right? You know you're deceiving, but you're not because it's for a greater good.

Sure. Yeah, you know, you're lying to reveal the truth. Hey there, Tyler, guess what this weekend is? 420! Ah, April 20th, the battles of Lexington and Concord, which marked the beginning of the American Revolutionary War, began on April 19, 1775 and continued into April 20th, aka 420. That's kind of a stretch. I'm actually referring to National Hemp Celebration Day. And guys, our friends over at Viah have got you covered.

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Or one to forget if that's what you're after, Happy Holidays, Liz, D-A-Z-E. Happy holidays. I know, I got it. See what I did. See what I did there. I know I got it. When you have to explain a joke again, Tyler, it only makes it funnier. Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night. And if you need to sleep at night, there's a hemp for that. Actually, I'm going to go do that right now.

Hello, I'm Robbie Chaudhry. I invite you to join me every Tuesday for new episodes of 90-night, bedtime stories to keep you awake now on podcast one. This new incarnation of 90-night is an anthology of stories that bring to life classic horror stories some you're definitely familiar with and others you'll be hearing for the first time. Join me as I tuck you into bed with stories that will leave you sleepless all night long. Get new episodes of 90- every Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. That's uh pictures of me on my mission. Short hair, white shirt, tie. This is you right? That's me. Okay. We will put these on Instagram folks for your not viewing pleasure.

You guys. I wish you could see wow. That was in Kansas. That was my bicycle. I rode hundreds of miles over many months. That is me in white and that is a group of individuals that were baptized. When you baptized someone you brought them into the church. Everyone would get dressed in white and you would bring them into a baptismal font which was a tank of water and you would say a prayer. I forget the thing I I, holding the holy Melchezerk priesthood, I baptize you in the name of the father, the son of the Holy Ghost, and then you would dunk them under the water, and that would wash away their sins.

You know, the only weird thing about this picture is... There's a lot of a the weird the weird the weird thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It is, it, it, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I. I, I, I. I, I. I, I, I. I. I, I. I, I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I'm the the the th. I'm the th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the th th th only weird thing about it is that it doesn't look like a cult at all. No, not at all. A bunch of people dressed in white only. Oh my god, this is you baptizing somebody in a lake. Yeah, so there was a gentleman who we baptized, who was out in the middle of nowhere. The closest church was probably an hour away, and so we went behind the farm and I baptized him in a pond. This is you, it looks like you're wasted at a w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w wa the the the the the the the the the th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the and I baptized him in a pond. This is you, it looks like you're wasted at a frat party, but I know you're not. That is, I had an awful day and I just remember like filling up the bathtub and laying in it. I didn't even want to... With all your clothes on. I don't know. I just...

You know, it was hard sometimes. I was 20 and I was in Kansas and every day you did the same thing. Every day you woke up and you preached and you prayed and you talked to people and you found ways to fill your day by converting individuals. And it got exhausting and some days I just wanted to not do it. And I'm continually questioning my faith. Do I really believe this? Is this really the only church? Because by and large this was my first experience with people from other religions. I would talk to other people about their religions and I would find

out that oh my god not everyone in Nebraska City or Council Bluffs Iowa. There were a lot of people in those towns that weren't Mormon. I was kind of thrown into a new world and I didn't believe it for a while. I wavered on my testimony. But I just kept being a good little missionary and I wanted to raise the ranks. I know who doesn't want to climb the ladder of whatever and company called your in. And so I became a good missionary and I became a good companion and I became, and for a while I got caught up in that. You baptized more, you rose in the ranks, you got privileges. I was stuck in a small town while other people were in nicer areas, and they had cars, and they had companions that they wanted to be with, and they had better apartments. And I had to work my way up to that.

We were kind of instructed to try to convert people who were less wealthy. Oddly enough. Poor people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people who were less wealthy, oddly enough. Poor people made good conversions. There were a lot of single people, women, single men, sometimes. And a lot of times, it was people in transitions. I lost my husband. I moved here. I don't know anyone.

My mother died. So we would baptize a lot of people like that. I was able to baptize a couple of families, like father, wife, kids, and that was the Holy Grail. That was a very rare instance to get the entire family and there were a few of those that I did. I was able to get the whole family. The best conversions were usually those who were brought in by other members. that their so we would often go to members of the church and say, sit them down and do the same thing. We'd teach him a lesson. We'd do a testimony. I may sing my fake, I am a child of guide song and then say, do you know anyone that would benefit from being a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and what is

their number? And we would have them number from them and then we'd go call that number or we'd get the address and we'd go right to their house and we'd knock on their door and we'd say, Jim from accounting said that you might be interested in hearing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So it was just heavy recruitment, heavy sales all the time and the rules were important. Doing what you were told was important. There was a zone conference once and it was a big meeting with all of the missionaries and they do this every once in a while everyone would have to

drive in for this meeting and you know the mission president would get up and the assistant to the president would get up and they would just drill it into you. It was just you. It was just more baptisms. You've got to do this. And you'd leave feeling energized. The wife of the mission president, she was kind of given first lady duties, you know what I mean? I probably don't need to tell you, Liz, but the Mormon faith is a little bit misogynistic. It just is. It is ingrained in this religion from the beginning. And that was her job to make sure more people were safe. There were issues with accidents.

Missionaries would get in accidents in their cars or small fender benders or whatever. And she got up and she said, we need to work on these things. And she said, how far do you need to be from the driver in front of you? And you're talking to 18-year-olds, we're not far removed from driver's education. And it's like three seconds, right? Yeah, I think it's like two cars. Two cars, like three seconds. One, two, three.

And she goes, 12 seconds. And the whole crowd, like, well, you could hear the audible cast, like, no. And she was like, yeah, it's 12 seconds. And everyone just, and she continued speaking about it. And the president president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president the president and then the president got up and he goes, Sister Holmes has spoken. When she says something, that is how you do it. That is what it is. That is the word of God.

And so after the meeting, got in our cars and, do you know how hard it is to follow 12 seconds behind another car? It was more dangerous, but that is what we were told. It did not matter that it didn't make it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was. that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was that it was tha. that it was more dangerous. But that is what we were told. It did not matter that it didn't make common sense. It did not matter that it wasn't normal or right. You did what you were told. And we did. Throughout the whole mission, was there any point in time where you really were like,

now? Yeah, I don't know if I ever really doubted the faith so much. I doubted being there and I rebelled quite a bit. So I got a little rebellious mostly just because I the rules were too hard for me. So I would read, I'd find books, I'd go to the library, occasionally I'd go to the movies. We had a TV where we had to like take the TV and a VCR to people's houses and we show them missionary tapes and church propaganda. And I found a rental house that would rent VHS for 25 cents and I watched movies and I actually learned about literature and I learned about movies and I learned about art and I

read great books, I read Zen in the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and I read Larry McMurtain and I read the allegories of the caves and I just, I read things that I thi th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. the the the thi the the the the they they they they their their their their the their their their their their. And I'm, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, te.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. their their their their their their their their their their motorcycle maintenance and I read Larry McMurtran, I read the allegories of the caves and I just, I read things that I hadn't before and I found a love of literature, which was the opposite of what I was supposed to be doing. As you get closer to the end of your mission, you're looking forward to the day you go home. And two years is a long time. I wanted to go home and I was about two months two two to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go home to to to the the the to the the the the the to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the together.smo.smo.eck. teck. teck. te. te. te. the the the the the tex. the to. the the to. was about two months from home and the mission call, the transfer night came in and they called the house and they said Tyler you're going to be on a bus for Olatha, Kansas tomorrow. No offense to anyone listening in Olatha, Kansas. I just didn't want to go. I just didn't want to go. I just liked where I was and I just didn't get on a bus. So I just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to the the to to to the the to the the to tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. the the tie. thea. thea. the, the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, tie. I was, tie. tieu. tieu. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tiea. tie. tie. I was. And I was, t go. I just didn't get on a bus. So I just stayed there for two or three days. And the mission president called and he said, Tyler, you're supposed to be on a bus. And I was like, I just don't really want to, I like where I'm at.

And he goes, do you want to go home? Would you just like to go home? And I stood there for a home, I disappoint my family, I dismoint my community, and forever, everyone will wonder, well, Tyler was supposed to be home in November. It's August, what did he do wrong? What sin did he do? So I said, no, I'll stick around. And I got on a bus and went to O'Latha.

And that's where you finished my mission there. I think it maybe it was Derby, Kansas or Pratt, Kansas. I honestly don't remember. I moved around quite a bit. Yeah. And so where were you at the end of the mission? Like mentally, spiritually, where it's your state of mind? I was told that it was the best two years of my life. But I did want to go home. I wanted to start my life again. It had been too long. And I was tired I was tired I was tired I was tired I was tired I was tired tired I was tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired. I was tired. I was tired. I was tired. tiea. their their their their mentally mentally their mentally their mentally their mentally their mentally their mentally their mentally their mentally their mentally their mentally their mentally their mentally mentally mentally. their mentally mentally. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their mentally mentally mentally mentally mentally mentally mentally mentally. to to their mentally. their their their mentally. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the the the. the the the the the. the the. the the thi and I was tired of wearing a shirt and tie. And so one day after two years, they, you know, just like the meeting when everyone is there and I remember being the very first meeting, there were people who had gotten up and they were going on the next day and they'd say some words. And I looked at them as a new their newbie looking at their the. And I looked at their, as a, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, the the the the meeting, the the meeting, the meeting, the meeting, the meeting, the the meeting, the the meeting, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, as a new, th. th. the th. th. the the the the the the the th. the the the the the th. I, the the the the th.ean, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the meeting, the the the meeting, the meeting, the meeting, the meeting, the the meeting, the like they've done it. They served their two best two years of their life and they were crying and it was just as beautiful moments and at the end of mine I had to get up and I had to say some things and talk about the mission and how grateful I was and how my testimony of the Jesus Christ and I know this church is true and I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet and then the next day I got on a plane and I flew back to Salt Lake City and

you know you land at the airport and your family's there and your friends there and you're a conquering hero. You come home like a warrior who just sacked Troy if you will. Right. And I remember you would have to be released from your mission formally and two days after I got home we we went to the church and the bishop or the stake president, I don't remember. He put his hands on his head, on my head, and he said, I release you from this. And I started crying, violently sobbing. There was something amazing about the feeling that I had being on a mission.

And in some ways, the simplicity of it. Because I knew now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now I I I I I I I I I now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now I the the the the the the the the to to the the the to have to have to bea. to bea. to have to bea. to bea. to bea. to bea. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to bea. to bea. to bea. toe. toe. toe. toe. toea. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the and in some ways the simplicity of it, because I knew now I'd had to find a job, had to go to school, I had to live a normal life. I was a little sheltered in that world. It was easy. All I had to do was baptize people and walk around in a white shirt and tie. And I still believed it. I'd still believed it. I'd come back home and I moved in with my parents for a while. I went to Utah Valley University and I still went to church and then I started to kind of fall away from the church and I started to

drink with the old buddies. What was your first drink? You know maybe two months after my mission and I went out with some buddies and we're sitting around a table at a bar and the woman brings a pitcher of beer and she sets it down, then she sets down glasses for every one of my glass stood empty and my buddies filled up their beers and then she brought another pitcher and I was just like, you know, I'll just terrible for it so I'd go to my bishop and I'd repent. I'd tell them I drank and he'd say don't drink anymore it's bad, don't drink and then I'd drink again or I'd toubies or whatever. It was a constant battle of and I'd gone on a mission so you know I was expected to be good. you're a returned missionary, returned missionary, an RM, that was the term, and you're

held to a higher standard. So when I'd go out with my friends who were heathens and I'd be a return missionary, they couldn't believe that I was drinking. So I just slowly started to kind of leave the faith. But it wasn't just for me, it wasn't me more than anything else. I didn't know the past, I didn't know. It was hard for the, to, to, the, to, to, to, the, to, to, the, to, I, the the to, I, to, the to, the the th, I, th, th, th. th. th. th. to, th. th. th. thr, thr, thr, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. the, thin, thin, thin, the, thin, the, the, theeeeeean, thean, thean, theeean, theean, theean, thean, thean, to do it. It was hard for me to not hang out with my buddies and have a beer. It was hard for me to not be with a girl and want to get intimate with her. But I would continue to go to church. And the Mormon church wants their return missionaries to get married. And they had me go to the single ward, which was basically basically just just just just just just just just just just just the church, to the church, which, which, the church, which was basically, the church, which was basically, which was basically, the church, the church, the church, and I, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to be to be to be to and she wanted me to be a better Mormon. And I went into to the bishop and I went into repent for my sins. Was she your first sexual?

No, I actually had sex with. This is not what this is about. Oddly enough, one of my mission is introduced me to his sister and I had sex with her. On your mission? No, after my mission. I'm sure she still remembers it. It was 15 seconds of bliss. She'll never forget. And I went into the bishop to confess my sins.

I was ready to do this. And you confess to your sins. They're not, you know, Catholic preachers, whatever. He's a dentist. And he was a new guy. And I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I went I went I went I went I went I went th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. They are, he's a dentist and he was a new guy. And I remember I went in and I sat across from this guy and I told him, I've had sex, I drank, I take the Lord's name of vain, whatever. And he just, he just, he didn't have words. Now mind you, I'd done nothing that a normal human being doesn't do in college. Right. And he just was like dumbfounded. He said, we're going to have to get a court together, a group of people, to determine whether

you should stay in the church. And it hit me just like a flash. I was like, why am I telling this guy who's a dentist, my quote unquote, since. I thought, I actually was a little unhappy because I'd con a little farther and that's often what happens when Mormons leave the faith. They're 28 years old, they come to the realization that it's not true so what do they do? Do you go the other extreme. You go drinking, you go sleeping, you go sleeping around. You want to experience that other side and then you get a little sick and I didn't feel good. A lot of people do the same thing with cults.

And I realize at that moment that if I actually feel these things, why am I telling a dentist and why is he going to judge me and tell me by his metrics that I'm doing and I left. That was it. I never went back. 28 years old when I'd stopped going. But I still believed that the church was true. And then when I learned about polygamy, and I learned that Joseph Smith had 37 wives, some as young as 14, and I learned that Brigham Young had over 50 wives, young girls.

There is no justification in the world for a man of God, a man, period, to have multiple wives and justify it in the name of God. I'm sorry, Mormon. And underage. And they can say, oh you know, there's polygamy in the Bible. Yeah, sure there is, because men are horrible human beings. And they can justify their lewdness through God. And then I read a book called Leaving the Saints by Martha Back and I remember the moment and I'd read about the book of Abraham, that's what it's called. And it is essentially, in essence, it is the Pearl of Great Price. It's so deep to go into, but basically Joseph

Smith translated an Egyptian scroll, a papyrus and it became scripture. It's a pearl of great price, and it's about Kolob and planets and where God lives. Well they found that papyrus in 1972 and they translated it because now they can translate Reformed Egyptian and it's a recipe for burial. In fact it was nothing more than a con, a ruse, and because he didn't translate that, well he didn't translate the Book of Mormon, he didn't get it from it it it it it it it from it from it from it from it from it from it from it from it from it, and a it, and a it, and a the the the the the the the the the the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and their, and their, and their, and their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, somea, somea, somea,a, somea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. the the the the the the the the the, he didn't translate the Book of Mormon, he didn't get it from God and angels, and the whole thing. And I remember reading that and getting this feeling in my stomach, and it may have been akin to that spirit that I forced on other individuals. I just felt sick. I felt sick to my stomach.

I couldn't believe that deception had been hoisted on me and my family. And in some ways I kind of dedicated my life to revealing that, to helping people, to help them see that it's easy for them to be caught up. It's easy for us to be manipulated. Now I had always wanted to be a movie maker. When I was 10 years old, I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark and I wanted to make movies. I started working in the film the film the film the film the film the film the film the film the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, the film, thi, thi, thi, I, I, thi, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, thi, I, I, I, thi, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, thi, thi, thi, thi, togea, togea, t t t t t ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, toga, t t movies. It's what I wanted to do. I started working in the film industry when I was 17 as a PA, production assistant. When I came back for my mission, I started working on film sets and commercials and things like that. And I made a short film about a guy who believed he had a religious guy who had magic powers called Modern Miracles. It's kind of my story in some ways. And my partner, a girl, I was interested in,

we want to do a documentary about the lost boys, kids who are kicked out of the FLDS religion, which is a very tight community in Colorado City, the Warren Jeff's group, and they would routinely kick out boys, 15, 16, 14-year-old boys who had no contact with the outside world, no education, no newspapers, magazines, year old boys who had no contact with the outside world, no education, no newspapers, magazines, television, books, no dating, and they come from large polygamous families. And they would routinely just kick these boys to the curb and tell them you're going to hell and you're not part of a family.

And they would literally throw them out of the town with no education and no money and they'd have to their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. And their. And their. So. So. So. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their, their, their, th. So, th th thi. So, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the. And, the. And, the thean. And, toean, toean, toean, toean, toeat toeat toe. And, the th thean. And, the. And, the th throw them out of the town with no education and no money and they'd have to fend for themselves. So me and this partner, Jenny Lynn Martin, we made a film about it. For two and a half years we followed three boys who were kicked out of their FLDS religion and we watched them grow up in a world they didn't know anything about. And the film, it's called Sons of Perdition, premiered at Tribeca and got picked up by by by by by Network, and it played all over the world. I mean, it was kind of a big hit for a documentary at the time. This was 2010. And that was kind of my story. It was my story of being in a religion, not to the extent that these kids were. And I I became very involved in their lives. I mean, I literally had polygamous kids living in my home. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it, I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it was, it, it, it, it was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was kind, was kind th. It was kind was kind, was kind, was kind, was kind, was kind, was th. It was th. It was th. It was was th. It was was their, it was their, it was their, it was their, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, not to the extent that these kids were. And I became very involved in their lives. I mean, I literally had polygamous kids living in my home. I rescued a 14-year-old girl. It's in the movie. A 14-year-old

girl who's going to be married to a 60-year-old man. We rescued her. We pulled her out of the community. And she lived in my house, like two weeks while she was dodging her father and the police. I kind of ran this underground railroad of kids leaving the community. And it became a really cleansing way for me to honestly bring people out of a religion that I had brought people into. And a lot of my work still deals in that. My next film was called an honest liar. Finally, I get to talk about my movies, Liz. Here you do. I made a film called an honest liar about James The Amazing Randy, a man who's a th, th, and it th, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and get to talk about my movies, Liz. Here you do. I made a film called an honest liar about James the Amazing Randy, a man who's a world famous magician and escape artist, and he spent his life trying to expose deception, and he spent his life te.

And the film is all about deception, and how we as human beings deceive ourselves, and how easily we can be deceived. Now I made a film about MTV. That's a whole different thing. And then I made a documentary series called Murder Among the Mormons about belief and how a man named Mark Hoffman said a murderous spree and salt lake in the 80s. I don't want to reveal too much about it. It is on Netflix. I put my heart and passion into my art in the things I do. And am I financially renumerated th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. the the the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. t. t. t. t. t. I t. I t. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm they. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. t. te.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. I'm t. I'm t. I do. And am I financially renumerated for it? No, I'm not. Of course not. I make documentaries that are important to me and I love. And I only tell stories that I have to tell. And now you have a podcast. Which you should listen

to. You'd like it. What's it about? It's called Was I and a cult. It's about people. It's called Was I and a cults. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. It's about. I was. I was I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the. I tel. I tell. I only only only only only. I only only only. I only only only. I only. I only only. I only only only only. I only only. I only only. I only only. I only. I only only. I only. I only. I only. I only. I only. I only. I only. I tity. I have this host. She's horrible. So for some reason, you know, the Mormon exceptionalism has stayed with me. And this need to evangelize, which I was taught from such a young age, is still in me. And for some reason, I can't seem to get this out of my system. And I will probably continue to spend my life trying to figure out what this is inside of me. Because they gave me that that that that that that that the truth and what I thought was the truth of the time. And now I just want people to be happy, I guess. And when I left the church, what it gave me more than anything else, is it made me look at individuals, strangers. Not as a gentilech not as a Mormon or not Mormon, not as somebody

who fought or didn't fight in the pre-existence, but just a good person. Someone trying, someone struggling, maybe having their own issues, maybe trying to figure out how to live their life. I looked at them as a real human being and not as a potential convert. And that made my life so much better to be able to see humans just as who they are instead of what I need to make them. So I'll edit that part and then I'll move that and then we'll put the music. Rob, put the music right there. That was amazing. Thanks. And profound. What's your relationship like with your family?

My family probably had a lot of meetings about me. They had a lot of the temp. They put th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. I' tho. th. I' th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I th. I I th. I I th. I, th. I, th. I I, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, tha. And, tha. And, tho. And, tha. And, that tho. And, that tho. I a lot of prayers. They put my name in the temple or whatever, trying to get me to come back. They've given up now. Obviously, they just don't want me to embarrass them on a podcast. My mother did never accept it and probably still has not accepted and may never accept that I don't believe in the faith. That I'm not going to heaven. That I'm not going not going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the to be the the the the the the the the to be the the to be to be to be to be the the the the. I'm to be to be to me to me to me to me to me the the. I the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the. the the. the the the the. the the th. I'm not. tryn' tryn'a. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tryn. tea. tryn'a. thea. tryn celestial kingdom and we're going to be reunited as a family. My father was still a good upstanding Mormon. He died not too long ago. He was a good man. I always wanted to have a beer with my old man. This one and I never really got to have a beer with my dad. So maybe you'll get to do that in the afterlife. For allism today? I've completely sworn off religion. You've listened to the show, you know my skepticism towards anything that is woo, anything that is flim flam, psychics, faith bandings, religion, God, I just don't, I don't buy it anymore. What's your advice for somebody who may be in that new phase of like vacillation between, is it, I want to leave, but should I leave or they they they they they they they they they they they they they maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe they they they maybe they maybe they maybe they maybe they maybe they maybe they they maybe they their their their th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to to illation between is it I want to leave but should I leave or they maybe have just left but now what? When you leave the faith know

that it's going to hurt a little bit it's a hard journey and you're going to be told as we were told that if you leave the Mormon faith you will be unhappy and that is drilled into us and you may be unhappy that will be a and that is drilled into us. And you may be unhappy. That will be a period when you are unhappy when you leave the faith because you're confused and you're hurt and people are ostracizing you and you don't know. And there's a self-fulfilling prophecy

in that for the church when they go, well, you're not happy. But you know what, you've got to give it some time. Nobody gets gets in in in in in in in in in in in in in the shape in their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the know, nobody changes their profession overnight, and nobody drives away a religion that has been in you for years. So Tyler, have you found what you're looking for? Uh, no. But I know what I'm not looking for.

Mormon underwear. Drawers full. I know where those are. I burned those. I actually did. I cut where those are. I burned those. I actually did I cut the symbols out. I was still Mormon because you're supposed to dispose of the Mormon underwear correctly. So I cut the symbols out and burned the symbols and then through the rest the underwear away. Yeah, culty?

It's not a cult. What do you think? Cult? No cult, Stacey. Ah, Stacy says cult. Cultie, like so fucking culty. Oh good Liz. That's great. Hey, you're very good at this.

It's nice to be on this side a little bit. There is a bit of therapy to this. Where is it that you get the opportunity to talk without someone else sharing their tale tale tale tale tale tale tale tale., tale tale tale, ta ta ta ta, their, their, to, to, to, thea, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, thea, t, t, thea, thea, thea, thea, and thea, and thea, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, thea, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tttttttthea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, talk without someone else sharing their tale of woe? I think Mark Twain said that. Maybe it was Samuel Clemens or maybe I just made it up. But it's nice to be able to kind of talk about things that you haven't talked about in a long time. Thank you.

Thank you, Liz. Let me drink beer and touch boobies, please. Diana! Diana! Have you yapped enough, Tyler? Do you have enough in you to say the credits? I took a lozenge, I stretched my hammy, sat on the bench. I'm ready to go, coach. Honestly, I want want to say thank you for sharing your story. You

know I feel like I understand you on a deeper level than I did before. And yet still stick around. So fool you once. I'm paid to be here. Bear and mine Liz at the interrogation tables will one day be turned and I will delve deep into your fucked up cult life. Dumb, dumb, dumb. And the world will be better for it. Surely, surely. But next week we will be back with a very cool cult story. Guys, it's a blend of Scientology meets spirituality.

And let me just tell you, it is wild. We did this experiment where we called in different beings to talk to, and in level two, they, and, and the world, and the world, and the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, th, the world, thi, thi, thi, the world, the world, thi, thi, thi, the world, the world, and thi, and thi, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the world will will will will will will be better, and the world, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the world will will will will will will will be thi, the will be the world will be the world will be better ta, ta, ta, ta, tell you, it is wild. We did this experiment where we called in different beings to talk to, and in level two, they introduced you to the being of the school, who's called Herc. In that level two, we brought in Herc and connected with him. One of the other things we did in that class was we also called in an alien. And they were like, put an energetic net on the sea leg and we're gonna bring in an alien being. And like, that was kind of weird. Special shout out to our fan of the week, sister, Brooke Frost,

for knocking on doors and preaching the holy gospel of Wazanakult. The field is white, all ready to harvest. Was ain't a cult is written produced and hosted by me, sister Ayacuzzi. And me, Elder Tyler Miesum. Sound editing and designed by Rob Moronic Angel Para. That's my screen name. Studio engineer is the first lady of the mission, Stacey Parra. And our prophet, seer and revelator, the executive producer Stephen Labram. Yeah, he was also a former Mormon missionary as well.

And our video engineer is Sister Gabby Rap, which is Sister Wrap It Up. Bitches! Woo-Zo! Take out your night. Purify me. Don't spare my life. Crucify me.