Watch What Crappens - #100: Spooky Suffrage and Moose Marriages

Episode Date: October 30, 2013

Lisa Timmons (Banter With Ben and Lisa Podcast) joins Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) again to mock Bravo this week. NeNe finally finished up her fake wedding, a little white boy Vietnam expert got smacked on Top Chef, and the women's movement cried on The New Atlanta. Plus, complaints about Real Housewives of Miami! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crappin's, a podcast about all the crap we love to talk on Bravo. This is Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm here with Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog. Hello, Benjamin. Why, hello, Ronnie.

And one of our internet besties, Lisa Timmons from Banter with Ben and Lisa. Hi, guys. How are you? You can answer back because it's a podcast, but that's okay. Well, you're asking them. I am doing great because you know what? Even though last week was our Halloween episode, I forgot. This week really should be our Halloween episode. Well, that's good because we didn't do anything scary last week anyway, except say that it

was a Halloween episode. The only thing that's scary about this episode is that I believe it's our 100th. Oh my God. We didn't plan anything special for our 100th. That's scary. That's scary. I feel so old. That's scary.

Listen, it's too scary. Do you like how I'm acting like I've been here all 100 episodes? You've been here for a chunk, that's for sure. You've done a lot of them. She's been an invisible ghost. You know, it's the Halloween episodes. You've been here for a chunk, that's for sure. You've done a lot of them. She's been an invisible ghost. It's the Halloween episodes. It all comes together. Yeah, we just keep you a friend

of the same reason the Housewives do, so we never have to give you a real paycheck. I am completely fine with that. Do you know how expensive these sunglasses were? $25,000. That's who I am. $25,000. Well, I'm going to start off this episode by burning the little doll I got that looks like Matt Whitfield because he quit.

Oh. Sad. Starting it on fire. No, I would never do that. While you're doing that, I just want to remind the viewers that because this is both our 100th episode and our Halloween episode, that if you listen to this show after midnight, you turn to werewolf. Yes.

There's a lot of voodoo on this podcast. This is our American Horror Story. I feel like I'm being pricked right now. Who's doing that to me? Who? Which one of you two? Oh, I don't want to talk about it. You guys, Halloween is so stupid.

I think it's the funnest holiday. Halloween is dumb. And everybody dresses like dead people. It scares me. I don't like that. How are you supposed to make out at a party with somebody who looks like a zombie? Not doing it. Not doing it.

Well, Lisa had some excellent makeup for this weekend. And if you go to the Banter with Ben and Lisa Facebook page, which is facebook.com forward slash Banter with Ben and Lisa. Yes, this is some cross-promosh. Lisa put up a picture of her excellent Day of the Dead makeup.

Cross-pollination is killing the bees. Stop it. Thanks, guys. It's true. The bees are dying. The dead bees are why Matt quit this podcast.

He was like, oh oh i can't take it i'm stepping away from life for a moment the bees the bees are dying the bees who's that dandy who just came into the podcast i'm from million dollar Decorators, darling. Oh, it's Martin Lawrence Ballard. Martin Lawrence Ballard. How simply fabulous. I'm going to get some cheap candy at Fresh and Easy.

For Halloween, I'm dressing like a thin person. My boobs are simply spilling over. I can't do this voice. I'm just going to wait. Just wait for sure. You're taking the Matt Whitfield role very well. I'm just going to wait. Just wait for sure. You're taking the Matt Whitfield role very well. That's what he would do. He's like, I can't do any impersonations.

I'm going to sit here and wait for you and Ronnie to stop this tumble. I can't do any impersonations. I'm putting on more makeup. Guys, I look crazy. All right. You do a very good Alexia impersonation, if I remember from last week. Oh, thank you. Oh, well.

Okay, well. Oh, well, yes, I'm new. I have my ethnic types. Well, since we are going to start with gossip, we might as well have it start with the Alexia. Why don't we have the Alexia news bulletin introduce the gossip segment? That's a good idea. Hello, this is Alexia. I'm only giving you this news because

I know that most of you are poor people. And this is to give you news so you can have some people to look up to. I demand that you start over. Oh, well. Here, I've got some keys right here. Let's see if they can make the noise.

Oh. That's the sound of. Guys, it's like a ring. We're in newsroom. It's just in. Oh, well, you know. Oh, well, you know. This is Alexia.

And this is Alexia. And look, this is the news. Aaron Sorkin is executive producer on her show. She's always walking through hallways. The first thing that happened in the news this week was Camille Grammer got beat by her boyfriend in a hotel room and he broke her iPhone. Let me

tell you, you can recover from a beating but do you know how hard it is to get new glass for your iPhone 5S? She's so right. She's so right. Probably not due for an upgrade for a little while. Dude, there's like a lot. Beverly Hills is the most beat down cat. What the hell is with Beverly Hills

and men beating their women's? Wait, is this true? Because you know what's so funny? I was thinking about Camille's hot boyfriend just yesterday and I thought, I wonder what he's up to and then I was too lazy

to do a Google search. Well, you must be tied at the black eye to Camille because that motherfucker actually laid a hand on Camille Grahams. That's crazy. I played at a wedding. Here's what happened, guys.

I know all the deets because I read Twitter. It's a very exclusive book on the internet that I read. So Camille was tweeting about someone breaking her iPhone and how she was terrorized in a hotel room. But she didn't say anything other than that. And then she came out to TMZ because why does everybody come out to TMZ?

Do they pay you? They don't. They must. They must. I mean, I've been giving them information for years. I feel like People Magazine would make fun of you less. I mean, that's like people coming to us with

stuff. Like, you know we're just going to rag on you. Like, why would you go to TMZ where it's like a bunch of 20-year-olds making fun of your stupid ass? Well, know you know sometimes you just have to go say something to tmz oh well you know you know oh wait you know sometimes there's news and it's for the poor people the alexia news network did not get the scoop i'm sad but we do have a very famous cover. He's on our cover every month. It's my son. You know, it just makes me happy.

If this is what can make him happy, then I'll put him on the cover every single week. I've actually created a special magazine, especially for him, and we publish it to be specifically circulated in our bathrooms. It's called Oh, Well, You Know Peter. Oh, my God. I imagine the O in the, oh, well, you know, Peter, is like the same exact.

They ripped off the O logo from the Oprah logo. Well, you know what? I'll tell you one thing those two have in common is that weight loss, weight gain thing. Like, every week, they're like, what happened to O? Oh, well, you know, Peter. Oh, well, you know peter oh well you know peter where you can slowly watch peter turn into a 45 year old within the next two years oh my god that poor kid every month will just be a picture of him slowly decaying and in the corner will be

a picture of alexia with her hands out going like oh well you know you know he's a kid you know sometimes he has to eat food you You know, that makes him happy. Yeah, Surly Boy Weekly. Well, you know, he wouldn't have hit that homeless person if I didn't tell him to get some exercise and start boxing more. Because I want him to be a model. So, you know, he was trying to better himself. You know who should date him? Camille Grammer.

Oh, my goodness. Thank you for getting back to that. So what exactly happened? So she told TMZ Yeah, so basically he was talking on the phone to some woman who we think is the baby mama.

And then he they got in a fight and he grabbed her by the hair and apparently pulled out like clumps of her hair and stuff and then broke her iPhone. And she said she just got out of the hospital for some kind of cancer treatment too yeah she just i've got to say wasn't she just in cancer i mean have she just in cancer oh oh my god have you guys seen that movie cancer oh my god i hope i get to be there next time i thought cancer

was the newest club at ve? It probably is, actually. It most likely is. Have you been in the chemotherapy sauna? It's pretty hot. So how sad that we're going to be celebrating somebody else's, yeah, the same day that we hear about our friends split. It's so upsetting. I know.

Favorite, favorite Camille. Oh, wait. To clarify, it doesn't look like she, i don't think she went to t well i don't know because they make it sound tmz tmz's whole thing is you know harvey levin is behind tmz he did people's court for years so he has all those great connections the legal connection so it looks like probably they just flagged somebody, one of his people probably flagged her name and found out that these papers had been, or who knows, she

might have gone to TMZ, I don't know. I mean, I would have gone to the Daily Mail, but I'm a big old classy broad. Her text, her tweet was saying, details to drop soon, huge bombshell. Oh, okay, never mind. That's her own headline. She's like, you guys, I might

have gotten beat and I might not have. Details soon! I like imagining that Obama is monitoring her phone calls. Totally. He's like, oh shit, we're gonna tell somebody? Oh shit! Michelle! Michelle! Bitch, get in here.

You have got to hear this. Someone don't punch Camille Grammer. That was not my Obama impression. Obama is like the only person who knows whether Lisa Vanderpump called the tabloids on HMU. Dude, I mean, the truth is, he has the power to end all these feuds. Could you imagine if there was just like one day, remember that movie over the summer, The Purge, where one day where all laws were like, everything was like, all crime was legal. I want one day where all gossip is revealed by the president. He just sits down.

He's like, okay. People, this is the state of the nation. Tune in now. This is the state of the nation. Tune in now. This is the state of the gossip, okay? I know there's a lot of stuff happening, but we're just going to take just a few hours to clarify all the rumors, so that way we can just shut up and move on with our lives.

I agree. I think that's a great idea. Obama, are you listening? And Alexa can sit in the front row like that woman. It's like, why would I listen to a podcast when I can listen to your phone conversations? That's true. That's true. Just like the way Lisa has been lurking all I listen to a podcast when I can listen to your phone conversations? That's true. That's true. Just like the way Lisa has been lurking all these years to her podcast. All these episodes, guys.

Halloween. Spooky. Did you guys ever hear this in the background? That was me. I had just walked up a flight of stairs. So the other gossip happening today that is not about Camille. Okay, first of all, I have to say,

Bravo, stop making it okay to hit women. I know they're not saying it's okay, but a few years ago, would we be sitting here laughing about a woman getting smacked around? No. Bravo's made it, I don't know, light and fluffy somehow.

I don't know how. This will provide a great segue later on to the new Atlanta, which only espoused a huge amount of misogyny. Oh my god, the new Atlanta, I keep watching and going, why do they let us vote again?

I'm trying, I'm struggling to remember. What was this feminism thing everybody was talking about? I mean, I never feel like that watching it because I'm disgusting. I love to be just rolling around in the filth and the dirt that is reality television. But lately, I mean, New Atlanta, it's just the younger and younger. None of these women realize that Vaughn is perpetrating all of these.

All these things are happening because of him. Yes. They do know, though. Well, we will get to it. There's no sisterhood at all, sorry. There is none. It dismayed me, but it entertains me. Nor are there any traveling pants, I'd like to point out. No. The pants have

done bought a house. Yeah. Okay, so what other gossip, Ronnie? So they announced the new girls on The Real Housewives. They look like two bimbo twins. And then a friend of theirs. Oh, wait, on Beverly Hills, right? I'm sorry, on Jersey.

Oh, okay. I guess that's not really something we have to talk about. But Dina's coming back, it looks like, for sure. Uh, okay. I guess that's not really something we have to talk about, but Dina's coming back, it looks like, for sure. Uh-huh. And last night on Watch What Happens, Nancy Grace was on there, and man, she's a bitch on wheels, but it was funny to watch her.

Because Andy, who just can't let Teresa Giudice go into jail, he just can't let that go. Like, it's all he can talk about. He's so obsessed with that news. But he's like, Nancy, what do you think about the Giudices? Do you think they're going to jail? She's like, yes, they are going down. There is no way they're not going to go down.

I mean, there is so much evidence. It's ridiculous. And he's like, well, but Nancy, Teresa says that she didn't know about any of this. She's like, Andy, did she sign the papers? Did she sign papers from the bank getting money for things for her home and her houses and signing bankruptcy papers? She signed those, didn't she? Yeah. She knew, Andy, and she's going down.

I really, really want Nancy to prosecute this trial. I really, really want Nancy to prosecute this trial. Yeah, I hope that she follows it on her show, because I love that she's just like, she's just rancid. I mean, she's horrible. She is. She's terrible. I actually would like Teresa to dress up like Nancy for Halloween. Put her in a nice little blonde bob with a little... Or maybe she could just go as somebody with a forehead.

Like Tyra Banks. Now, that would be interesting. Way too much makeup. I'm not putting that thing on my head. Who's doing this without headphones? I have headphones in. Don't make me smack a sucker. I have my headphones in, but I think I have my speaker turned around.

Oh, she's all turned around. Guys, don't be mad. I'm just haunting the podcast. I know. We're hearing ourselves twice. I'm just haunting the podcast. I know. We're hearing ourselves twice. I'm actually dead. Spooky. What are those spectral voices I hear coming from within the podcast?

Spooky. Technology. It's like a Japanese horror film. It's going to come and kill us. So here's something. Teresa Giudice is being sued by a friend of Alexis Bellino over Melania hair care because she has a hair care line called Melania hair care. Oh, my gosh.

Can we just call her Alexis Bellina? I'm for it. I'm for it as long as there's a trampoline nearby to remind us. The eyes hatch. Okay, settled. Moving on. I guess we don't have to talk about that. Someone posted some bacon for Benjamina.

Oh, really? Oh, thanks, everyone. And I think that's all. Okay. So we will be reading comments from you guys during the show on Facebook. Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. Okay? Okay.

So go for it. What else do you want to talk about? What show do you want to start off with? Well, okay. As promised last week, last week we said we're going to watch four shows. We're going to watch Top Chef New Orleans, Real Housewives of Miami,

The New Atlanta, and I Dream of Nini. So I... Well, I watched The Good Wife. So let's talk about that. Juliana Margulies. Alicia Florek and her balls of steel. Let's talk about that.

The way she talked to Diane. Girl. You just made me snap. Well, so just probably about half an hour ago is when I finished watching the latest episode of The New Atlanta. And we already started talking about it on this podcast. I'm a little fired up about it. Why don't we just dive into that? I know it's kind of crazy starting with The New Atlanta, but how do you guys feel about that?

Let's dive into it. And then if we start diving into another show, let's not feel guilty because we've already warned this show that we could possibly do that. You're just being honest. You're just being honest. I'm just being honest, totally. I mean, guys, we make a lot of empty promises. I mean, guys, we make a lot of empty promises. And it's really, I want the listeners to know it's up to you guys to make me want to be there for you more.

It's not up to me. I mean, wow. You got to step up your game, audience. I mean, wow. You guys, you know, I want Bill Cosby to come on this show and just tell Vaughn off. Because Bill Cosby is like the grandpa right now where he's just telling everyone off. Like, why are you wearing pants down to your knees? You know, like he just needs to come in there, slap those sunglasses off his face, tell him to stop wearing glitter shirts, stop embarrassing black men.

I wrote down what was written on that shirt that he was wearing while playing basketball. Okay. That was a great shirt. Von, a.k.a. Cool Dad, as I'm calling him in this scene. It said, everything over average is loved and hated. Be glad you're over average! Two exclamation points. That makes no sense.

And that's a lot for a shirt. That's just some bad English and bad gold. How big is that t-shirt? Is this like a Biggest Loser reject t-shirt? That's a lot of text. Ben, you're so right in so many ways. I just wish that I was at that mall kiosk to see the teenager making that t-shirt for him, like to see his face.

Like, did he know it was a terrible sentence and he thought it was funny yeah you know everything yeah sounds like that shirt was tailored made for him yeah and then um the other the other issue i have with clothing this is just me but if you live in georgia yeah why is your son gonna be wearing a florida state seminal sweatshirt that should be a bogs sweatshirt what the hell is going on here well listen this kid's gonna be screwed up anyway because not only is vaughn his dad vaughn is giving him terrible life advice like saying oh not talking about you whether it's good or bad then you're doing something wrong great know, raise your child to be a worthless reality star.

Yeah, pretty much. And that's the response to the kid saying, so I got in trouble for punching a boy in the face at school. Yeah. He's like, you're doing something right, kid. Great job. Well, no, he was like, don't hit. He's like, you shouldn't hit. I was like, thanks for the lesson, Dad.

That was about right. You shouldn't hit. was like thanks for the lesson dad you shouldn't hit make a t-shirt about it yeah he's like well you know now that we're talking about this of course i'm now realizing how sly the editors are to put this scene in the top of the episode where they have him saying like listen people are going to say things and do things they're going to make you they can make you want to hate you gotta know there's a lot of love there, too. A lot of love. Cut to 45 minutes later in the episode, he's swinging his facet. Triggle. I like Triggle.

Triggle's not any less stupid than Tribble. I like that it insinuates wiggling as well. And trigonometry. I feel like it's less basketball and more like shaking your ass, which I enjoy. So where do we even begin with a shitshow of an episode? I feel like it's less basketball and more like shaking your ass, which I enjoy.

So where do we even begin with a shit show of an episode? I want to start with the firearms, please. Sure. Here is a direct quote from Emily. Emily won. Emily won. Right before she has like a showdown with Emily too. Quote, I honestly don't think that I would kill somebody.

Like I would shoot them in the leg or something. So then they'll fall over and let the cops handle them. So she has great accuracy. Her explanation, the guy at the firearm, oh, are you interested in shooting for fun or do you want to buy a gun? Her explanation is I own a boutique and it recently gotten broken into. And I'm just imagining, like, there's an Etsy joke in there somewhere, guys. Like, seriously. Well, she was at a bar and someone drove into the store. Like, what are you going to do?

I mean, are you going to just sit, like, make a bar in the store? Put down. Put down. Put down. Or you lose your kneecap. She just starts blasting away. Every car on the street that drives past this door, she just shoots out the tires. She'll shoot through the car door and try and get them in the leg. Just to get on the street.

The car door shooter is out there with one of those mirrors that goes under your car by the way i'm 100 team sincerely comma sincerely was keeping it mad sincere guys she was sincerely was sincerely was serious sincerely I can't mix those words I thought I was gonna be like a word mixer but it didn't work don't worry have we thought about how she actually finishes a letter oh my god truly yours sincerely

this person really really wants to make a point but they forgot to leave their name oh my god that's awesome. Sincerely, Sincerely Jones. She's probably like, regards, sincerely. Regards, definitely. Do you have warm regards, or are you feeling sincere? I'm feeling sincere. So the next scene that really jumped out

at me was Africa on the phone with Vaughn still completely with not a shred of irony that she's talking to the guy who is at the center of this all. And they're having lunch and did you notice

that his little outfit, he was very, he's into the highlighter colors this year. He's very into neon. He's having a highlighter moment. He's having a 3M moment. A 3M moment indeed. But yeah, it's, nobody for a second seems to understand that these women just don't get it. And it's so depressing to me. Well, it's reverse feminism. Like feminism kind of turned back when I think women were like collectively one day all at the office with their kids calling them for shit and their husband calling them for shit, getting paid less than men. And I think at one moment they just all thought at the same time, what the fuck were we fighting for?

This is bullshit. I'm in some hot office. I ain't making any damn for? This is bullshit. I'm in some hot office. I ain't making any damn money. This is bullshit. So yeah, I had to blow a guy and like stay fairly thin and make dinner every once in a while. I got to stay home. Fuck this.

And then the world just turned back. And then they're like, because I'm not a part of this. And then it's like, there's only three guys available in the world. So we have to fight to the death. Yes, exactly. And let him call the shots, though.

We're going to fight. But let's put all the power in his hands. Because he's the one who deserves the power. And he'll make us all feel like shit in the process. And Vaughn is obviously loving this. And Africa, no lie, literally just bats her eyes at him. Well... She's just batting her eyes.

The offensive stuff started to happen for me early on in the episode when Vaughn met up with Alex, who's his sort of stalker, raver girl. And she basically... She was upset because I guess Vaughn never called her. Oh, that was Vaughn. Vaughn just texting me, guys. He's just texting you, I want you to know

I'm keeping this mad casual. Yeah, he's just being honest with me. He's like, just had some great sex last night, being honest with you. He's like, here's my penis in your best friend's vagina. It's a Snapchat, so it'll be gone soon i don't i don't fall in love i fall in respect so i don't fall in love i fall into women

um the only time i fall in love is when i play tennis so um so he's telling so so um what's her face alex he never calls alex back and at point, she should know enough to be like, fuck this guy. I'm moving onwards and upwards. But instead... Yeah, he's obviously playing her. She thinks... She's trying to pretend like she's using him. He's obviously using her.

And I actually kind of... It makes me sad. But I'm sorry, you were saying. Well, so anyway, so she calls him and they meet up to have a conversation and she's she actually is pretty honest as he likes as he espouses his mantra as dogma and she says listen you know

I just you know it kind of bothered me that like after that whole fight I had with Africa you never came to say see like hey how check in on me see how I was doing see how I was feeling whatever so first he gives this bullshit line where he says well I checked in on africa because i saw her at the club i just didn't see you at the club so and also if you wanted to be comforted you know my number so that's already kind of like an asshole thing it's either say either say listen we're not i don't

think we're at that point or say sorry you know i like that i like that he's like if you wanted me to call you you should have called me to tell me to call you yeah exactly and that's that's basically what his mentality is because then then she's like i just want to know like i like you i want to know if you like me too and so then he turns it around on me he says well i need you to step up your game. He's basically like, I need you to do more to get me to like you. Which is so insulting. It's so insulting. All of it is so insulting.

Can I just tell you, it is hard enough when you have a man actively pretending to be in a relationship with you. Yes. Like, this guy, there's no facade. He is basically giving you full disclosure, please. I mean, I understand that he's being manipulative, but at the same time, he is not concealing any of it. Yeah, I really, I mean, the guy's a fucking pig, but it's not, I mean, you're right.

He's being honest. It's the women who are the disgusting ones. Well, but at the same time, though, no, what's interesting is that manipulation sort of implies some sort of dishonesty, some sort of deceit. And it's interesting because he's being totally manipulative under the guise of honesty.

Because it's one thing for him to be honest, it's another for him to, if she says, you like me, he should have said yes or no. But instead he says, you have to step it up. He makes her, like, it's all of a sudden it's her fault. She feels kind of bad. What are you doing over there? Sorry.

What the fuck are you, tap dancing? She's so mad she's got to chop vegetables right now. I'm chopping vegetables. Oh, my God. I threw something in the trash, but it was kind of noisy. You're worse than me. And I painted my apartment during this podcast. I thought it was another Alexia news bulletin coming through. You're worse than me. And I painted my apartment during this podcast.

I thought it was another Alexia news bulletin coming through. No, he's just being honest, you know? Like, that's just what he is. He's just being honest. He's a kid. No, I mean, I think you're absolutely right. He says he's being honest, and he is actually being somewhat honest, but he's also being very manipulative. But this is, like, player number one like i mean 101 it's it's basically like the guy just read what is it

called what's that book the game that's that's it everybody knows this stuff we know when we're being nagged ladies oh my god i need to read this book oh it, Ronnie. It's a very average read. You should read it. Actually. You know what it is? Yeah, it's above average. It's like his t-shirt. Oh, wait, no.

He doesn't even call it above average. I just realized that. He calls it over average. Over average. How did I not get that? You said it. Oh, my God god I'm an idiot to be fair he doesn't know what the word above means

that's some funny shit but I wrote down at some point I just wrote a note it just says Vaughn is like a piece of gum that gets stuck on everyone's shoe yes like it was honest about the fact that it would get chewed up and if you threw it on the ground

it would stick on someone's foot. Yeah, because it's just gum. But you still hate it for doing it. You still hate it. I think he's being manipulative because he's telling the girls, yeah, I'm fucking around until I find the one. Yeah. Then it's all up. You could be the one.

You never know. You could wake up one morning. You're in an audition to fucking date this loser who microwaves salmon. Like, come on what does he say at one point he said something about oh yes this is my favorite if you don't really want to know the truth then don't ax me oh my god i want to make that into a t-shirt with von standing there and like a crazy killer with an axe ready to just slam it into his skull. How about when you stop axing, I'll stop axing.

Okay? I can smell you from here. He was feeling vulnerable. He was feeling vulnerable. Vulnerable. Vulnerable. He's very vulnerable. Vulnerable. So the misogyny train keeps on trucking through as then Vaughn appears for a rehearsal for the Lipstick Junkies, which apparently is Africa's something, her dance troupe of some sort.

I don't know. Didn't you see the one where they had a show, Ben? And she was like, we've got a show. We've been rehearsing for this for months. And then they were late to unlock the doors. And she's like, you guys, I'm like so stressed. No one's here. I don't know how i could

take it haven't you guys seen that it was terrible you got to see her sing and they were doing three part harmony and it was really it was like it was one one part disharmony i imagine it was like it was everything was a dissonant chord it was like someone punched the andrew sisters in the throat you guys i have to pause for a second to ask did i watch the wrong episode again um you may have there were two episodes this week did your episode lisa end with a brawl no mine ended withughn leaving a party with a girl. Yeah, that's the one I watched, too. You guys not only missed an episode, okay? You guys not only missed an episode, you guys missed the episode to watch.

Mine had a fist fight that went on for, like, ten minutes. Between Tribble and Vaughn? Yeah, it was a Tribble-Vaughn fight. Oh, they said that was next week. It was. Yeah, that's what I thought. They aired it on Sunday. What the frick?

It was in the Watcher Crappin's windows. Sneaky. They are sneaky. Why did they do that? If last week's episode... I actually didn't see last week's episode because I didn't have time, but I know what happened. I know that they went to a club,

and then they were all there in a club together, right? And then Vaughn walked out with another woman right in front of Africa, right? Yeah. Yes. Did he know that Africa was there? Yeah. He knew that? Yes. Oh, no. He was just kissing her. Like, two seconds prior to that, he was kissing her. She was in her confessional

saying, I mean, I know that Emily says blah-de-blah, but you know, when he takes off those sunglasses and look at me I know what we have and then he gives her like he's all fawning on her they're dancing literally two seconds later he turns around and says to the other girl alright you ready to go and they leave

for a second when they were teasing it in the commercials I was like please let it be Kenya Moore please let it be Kenya Moore. Please let it be Kenya Moore. Please. Which would have proved once and for all that he's really gay. Oh, yeah. The episode that you guys missed referenced that incident quite a bit,

as you can imagine, but I wasn't totally sure if he knew that she was at the club or not. He is a dog. He is a dog he is a dog and she is 100 delusional but if we if we the best part of this episode to me though is out of nowhere we see alex at home talking with her friend kiara um and they're they have she has a new cat she's painted her cat snails they're playing with all these beads. And I wrote this quote down because it's amazing.

And this is the best quote of the episode. It's a voiceover of Alex saying in the rave culture, we wear all different types of beaded jewelry that we like to call candy. Candy can be almost anything from bracelets to suspenders to masks. And by the way, there is literally no reference to raving. That is it. And then they play with beads and they're talking about Vaughn. But her little voiceover, really, if you just dropped in on this episode at that point, would have thought oh it's a documentary about rave culture it's an anthropological moment wait a second so now i have to say i'm so

i'm excited to be able to tell you about this episode but i'm so bummed that we cannot talk about it because if your blood was boiling from the previous episode, this episode... Ooh, tell us everything. You know, this is how this show is fucking ruining my life. I'm actually excited to end recording so I can go hunt down this episode and watch it. What is happening to me?

I want to see it. Okay, there were two fights this episode. The first fight was between Emily 1 and Emily 2. Big fight. Oh, by the way, okay there were two fights this episode um first the first fight was between emily one and emily two big fight oh oh by the way let me tell you they had that fight in this episode am i the only one who got really excited with emily two's angry clap to punctuate a point every time she spoke wait i think i think i had a different emily one emily two fight because mine was where i think at the end i think emily two wound up getting fired. No, she didn't get fired.

She just stormed out. Oh, she stormed out. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was not in the episode. Not in this week's episode. I did see that scene, oddly enough,

from the episode you guys saw. Okay, that's right. When she said... That was just a dumb white girl fight. Yeah, that didn't make any sense. And Emily's like, well, you know, my car needs some filling my my tires are flat and she's like bitch i don't i'm not your maid and she's like you watch for me

yeah okay sorry the best part is she literally yells at her saying fuck you you bitch she storms off later in the confessional emily one says you know i really hope she didn't actually quit because I kind of need her. She's like, I have almost four sales to look forward to. I've registered this LLC as the Emily's. What am I going to do? I changed my LLC to EEC because it's supposed to be Emily, Emily C. As in Emily, Emily, see us As in, Emily, Emily, see us work.

Doesn't make sense. Okay, so in the second episode of the week, so I already told you about what happened where Alex talked to what's-his-face, Vaughn. The big thing is that Vaughn was having a seminar.

He was having a seminar, a co-ed seminar with men and women. I think they alluded to that in the previous episode. Did they not? They did. I hadn't seen this before, but did they show a seminar that he did where it's just men? Well, kind of. They've showed him talking to a group of men, but I didn't

know that was a seminar. I thought it was the men's bathroom. It pretty much was. He's like, okay, it's $10. Come in here. Come on in. He hands them all mints on the way out. Leave a dollar now. Don't just take that.

Don't be rude. A man isn't rude. He spritzes them with Calvin Klein obsession. A lot of your woman, but you better respect the bathroom attendant okay tell me about this thing i want to know his steve harvey it's like backwards steve harvey right because isn't steve harvey like he just had to make your woman happy and he's like and he's like the opposite of that right i i yes so actually even before the seminar starts uh he and africa have a confrontation um she gets all pissy at him she's all snippy

whatever up for good for good reason and then she's basically like why would why would you do that and he's like well i told you what i am i told you what i am you can't expect anything more i'm just being totally honest with you and she's like well well, I told you what I am. I told you what I am. You can't expect anything more. I'm just being totally honest with you. And she's like, well, I guess you're right. I mean, she basically takes him back. She says, it's a shame. I should have written notes. I was eating lunch when it happened.

So my hands were full. I know. I was eating tilapia. So my hands were full. But she had a bunch of like stupid things that she said. You know, at first she came off strong. She was like, listen, it's one thing to be honest, but you're being, you know, to rub it in my face. And he's like, well, you said you'd be okay with it. And she's like, well, I didn't think I'd be okay with you just, just leaving with another girl right in front of me.

That's like a really, really like hurt me. And then she starts to cry. And he tells us, us you know when i see a woman cry you know it just reminds my mom and i got you know that makes me real vulnerable he actually said that again which is vulnerable which is the biggest bullshit and then he he again somehow blames her for it all like for of course you know like she wasn't understanding, like this is just Vaughn being Vaughn. So she takes him back, which is ultra upsetting, you know? And by the way, taking him back means they are continuing to engage in a quasi relationship. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. Wow, that's disheartening. I mean, not that I really had much faith in her anyway, but when people tell me they're really smart and independent, I believe them just because they told me. And I'm so disappointed when I find out that they're just another wuss. I mean, what does that girl do? Where does she get her money from? The greatness of the continent rests on her shoulders.

Yes. Now I'm just like, you can, you're making your dad pay for this dissonant cord girl group. You've got some loser. Lord knows what you've got. And let's just hope this doesn't end like a Tyler Perry movie. Cause you're going to have to pay for this dissonant cord girl group you've got then you're dating some loser lord knows what you've got and let's just hope this doesn't end like a tyler perry movie because you're gonna have to pay for it later yes i don't like any of it and i also don't like her wearing wigs in the morning like standing there in her bathrobe with a fucking wig down to her ass to look sad like

bitch you're so sad that you got up and put on an eight foot wig come on by the way it's also in the chiron it tells us it's 10 30 in the morning she's had plenty of time to get her shit together oh i have to say one thing about the episode that ben did not see yes um alex um i was of the opinion she's kind of a bit much physically for me she's kind of got so much physically for me. She's kind of got so much going on, but she had her hair done differently. And I actually, I see,

I can see how she's like, she looks prettier to me in different angles. I think she's just, I think that girl is beautiful. Um, she's just a horrendous human being. Oh my God. I hate her roots too.

I can't stand. Well, here's the thing. I knew you're going to bring that. That's what I was, I was talking about is roots. I think for stand her I knew you were going to bring that that's what I was talking about I think for the longest time I was like she's got these crazy roots but when it's curly it looks like roots

but I think she's going for the ombre look yeah she's doing it on purpose it's way more subtle when it's straight and so I kind of caught a look of I don't know on a superficial note I thought she looked her best in that episode. Well, we don't like superficial notes on this podcast.

We're very serious. Hey, what about, did anybody hear this week? Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her

own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.

From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.

Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492,

Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th,

or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. No one hit her, but oh, we also found out, by the way, that Tribble's real name is Herbert, in case you guys wanted to know. That is awesome. I didn't know that, but by the way, I'm impressed when Tribble can do anything like form a sentence because his name

is fucking Tribble. Tribble's little background Herbert's bad. Herbert's bad, but Tribble, why would you do that to your It's his mama's maiden name. He's been called that ever since he was a kid. Really? That's hilarious.

His little bit of character development this week was like, I really like football. I grew up playing football, and I played football at Clemson, and then I even got to play some arena football for a year. Now I just do it for fun. Thanks, Tribble. Oh, Tribble.

You big dumb idiot. You've added so much to that conversation, Trix. But like, what does it say when Tribble is the better man than Vaughn? I know. Well, Tribble's actually nice.

He's like, remember that girl gave me her phone number? I really thought we had something. We gonna get married. I realized it was just one of those cigar Indians. Wasn't a girl at all. Aw, racist Atlanta. So, tell me

about what happened at this fucking seminar. I need to know. Oh, yes. Okay, so Vaughn sets up this seminar, and first he gets there and he puts all these, um, these, like, placards everywhere that have sayings, which is one of the things that, which were some of the things I was referencing earlier that I thought you guys had

gotten, but I guess not, because you hadn't seen the episode. They all had typos. In one of them, he uses the phrase, he means to say tailor-made, but he says tailored-made. We only laughed because that's obviously vintage Vaughn.

Yeah. At least he didn't spell it like tellered, like bank tellered. That's impressive he also said uh he had a bunch of like typos one of them was like it's like you either being you either picky or you're being picked or something like that but he instead of saying you're either he just wrote you so it's like you either but here's em number one, I don't know what you guys think about her. But after this episode, I am very much pro Emily, number one, because she walked into that seminar.

She made fun of every single one of his grammatical mistakes. She was like, and not just like in passing. It was like she gets in there and then she and her friends are like, oh, my God, did you see that? Did you see that? It's not even – that's like gobbledygook. And she goes to the professional and then she's like, do you see what this man wrote? He can't even speak English. And it comes back and other people come in.

She goes, hey, everyone, look around. Look around the way he wrote these signs. I was like, yes, finally someone does this on a reality show. Finally. Let me tell you what she did in the last episode that you'll like. She invited everybody over to a barbecue at her place and pulled Vaughn aside to have a conversation with him. And they're outside. It's in the dark.

She's holding a glass of white wine. She looks at him. She goes, take your fucking sunglasses off. She goes, when you're talking to me, take your fucking sunglasses off. And he's like, yeah, me taking off my glasses would be like you taking off your bracelet. And she's like, okay, I'll take off my bracelet. And he's like, okay.

And he took off his glasses. What an idiot. How does this guy say, one of his lines is, don't fall into love, fall into respect. That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. How do you say that and then be unwilling to take off your sunglasses for a lady you know or how do you say that and

then walk away with a woman in front of the other one that you're making out with it's one thing to like to be to not be exclusive that's fine it's fine like have a few people you know in a non-exclusive situation you would never do it in front of someone else, right? I mean. Well, because he can. And then talk about sex. Because he can get away with it. And, you know, I just realized something, and I think this is why I love this show.

Vaughn brings out the worst in every woman on the show, except he brings out the best in Emily. Because she needs someone to tell off. That's why she brought her drunk ex back on the show because she thought maybe they would fight but he's playing nice because he wants back in the castle you know he wants to fall back into respect so so well here's the thing here's a question here's a philosophical question is it what's the line is von being respectful by being very honest and upfront, or is he not being respectful by doing things like pulling, going out, leaving with another girl instead of Africa?

He's being honest. It doesn't mean he's being respectful. He's being honest, but he's still a terrible person. But to leave somewhere, when you've invited the girl that you're kind of seeing to your best friend's birthday party. It's rude. You don't get to just leave with somebody else. Absolutely. It's bad enough that he's making out with her and telling her he wants to eat her butt or whatever he was saying.

I mean, that was pretty bad as it is. Oh, yeah. It's just rude. You know, like if he was doing something on the side and not saying anything, okay. He was honest. But doing that right in front of her at a party he invited her to, where do we live? We really need to leave Sudan, you guys. Well, it sounds like the cops.

Emily shot somebody down the street for me, so. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, this just in. This is from the Alexia Venteraria report. I don't even know how to say my last name. But, like, I'm sorry. Like, the cops are coming. I'm just giving you the news.

I'm just telling you what's happening. There's somebody who's limping down the street. Oh, my God. Guys, it is a zombie. That's why this is a spooky podcast. Spooky. Well, here's the thing. You know what?

Here's how you can answer that ethical question. If it were a guy friend and not Africa, he would have at least told the guy friend where the fuck he was going. Do you think... It's a power play. It is. You've got to keep him insecure to keep him behaving

and in love with you. Exactly. Now, if Africa pulled that shit with Vaughn, how do you guys think he would react? If she left with her, it's disrespectful. He'd look like a total pussy in front of his friends. And girls can't do that because it just, there's just sluts. Exactly. Right.

She goes, she goes and torques her heart out. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So, okay. So we get to this seminar and, know once again von is doing his thing he's saying like if i'm being honest so he brings out so the seminar begins he walks up the center aisle with like a procession of about seven or eight guys behind him these guys are like the

sleaziest motherfucker he looks like he spends most of his waking hours in an OTB, perhaps drunk off his ass. You know, the other guy is in like some weird leopard print something or other. These are all like Yvonne's quote-unquote associates. That's the title that they all get. And they're all up there. And they're all speaking and they're saying

if I gotta be honest, yeah, I'm going to cheat. I'm going to cheat. And then someone else asked Guy, would you ever cheat on your wife? He goes, no, I wouldn't be cheating because we would have a very open and respectful relationship. And, you know, everything in a family would stay in the family. And then stuff, the extracurricular stuff would just happen, you know, but she would know about it. So it wouldn't be cheating.

Like this is what we were dealing with, okay? Oh, my God. But you know what? Knuckleheads are still dating these people. Yeah. Knuckleheads. So, Emily is going crazy. She's sitting... I know. I'm

sincerely team Emily. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. She keeps turning around to stare at Tribble to see, like, can you believe what he just said? I love it. After Suzanne's sugar baker moment, like, ten times over. Come on, Suela! So, what, because I saw in the previews that she, like, gets up and says something, right?

Wait, wait, we're not even there yet. So, people are saying crazier and crazier things, and women keep standing up, and they're like, well, you know're like well you know This is just for individual Relationships okay so you can't say For everyone so if someone Wants to have an open relationship That's up for them

Meanwhile Alex comes in she's staring Down Africa the entire time And then Alex finally she's drunk she stands Up and she stands up this is what she says She goes I think The worst thing that could have happened for women was women's suffrage. What? She says, worst thing to happen was suffrage. She's like, I think women should get back into the kitchen.

They should get back in there and be cooking for their man. I told you. I mean, I told you. Oh, my God. She said this. I thought before, when you made reference to suffrage, I thought you were making reference to her. No. No, I was like, I was just incredibly tuned in to what's going on here.

Emily looked like she was about to pass out. And Tribble keeps on giving her this look like, oh, my God. He's like, women have suffraged enough so so it finally just like it's a point and emily stands up and she says she's like hi it's like so do you think it's out i just she's like i don't know like i don't think it's okay just to go from like woman to woman to woman be like oh i'm just being honest i'm being honest she basically calls him out the same thing that she said at her barbecue because they showed a flashback of her saying the same thing to him at the barbecue yeah she did says no no no no i never said that i just said you have to be honest so So then Emily's like, she gets furious because she's like, well, I just told him at my barbecue, you know.

So then this gets Tribble mad, of all people. So Tribble stands up. Tribble angry. He goes and he takes, it was like that. He takes a microphone from Smooth, who's one of the associates on the panel. Smooth, who, by the way, could not look any farther from the truth. He's like this white guy in a blazer and one of those, like, Walsh, Michael Douglas shirts from 1986. Oh, my God.

Is he single? Somehow. So Triple takes the microphone. He's like, I don't know about all you all, but, you know, if I, like, I don't believe in cheating. I don't see what's wrong with not cheating. He's like, and how about instead of saying that I've always cheated all my life, how about saying, how about I try not cheating? How about changing something inside myself? Out of the mouths of innocence.

Yeah. So he's up there sort of like and he's got a microphone and so does von and they both have microphones it's like it's like that moment in bridesmaids you know when they're both giving the toast and then either one wants to by the way you have to know it's killing africa that she's not up there singing with them yeah well africa was furious africa's like who does tribble think he is this is von'sughn's event, and Vaughn is Oh my god, woman, he's trying to help you. Yeah, exactly. Not only that, but you don't open

it up to the floor if you can't take it. And of course he has no argument for it. That was Tribble's main point. So Tribble has points. Tribble was being, he was like, I think this is all crazy, and I think that

like, you know, I don't think it should be that we just go all cheating. So then Vaughn doesn't like this, and Vaughn's like, okay, put your microphone down, put your microphone down. And then he takes the microphone out of Triple's hand, and Triple doesn't like that. Triple's like, I'm not done speaking. Oh my god! I'm sorry, but I just realized that

Triple is actually for his gum. Yes. You see him at Obama's inauguration. It was amazing. He was right there. He was right next to me. I'm sorry. So then Tribble gets all up in Vaughn's face, and Africa's like, I can't believe it.

I can't. Africa's only defending the guy who's a total asshole. Emily's like, good for Tribble. Good for Tribble. And getting all up in each other's faces. And then Trudy comes. And then, at least somewhere in the mix, Tribble utters the phrase, don't touch me on my nose.

Don't touch me on my nose. Aw, that's his spot. Or maybe it was, he touched my nose. He touched my nose. Oh, that's so cute. Honestly, if you're going to touch Tribble, that's exactly where you want to touch him. Right there on his nose.

Right there on his little nose. So anyway, so Trudy comes in, separates them, and Tribble does one of these things like, don't worry about me. I'm just standing here. I'm just standing here. He puts his hands up. And then Vaughn comes at him and tries to, like, punch him and everything. And then there's just, like, pandemonium for the next five or ten minutes on screen.

And finally, they just getemonium for the next five or ten minutes on screen. And finally, they just get Tribble into a cab. He goes off. And then Vaughn thanks everyone for coming. He leaves. And then the cops come. The cops come and they start talking to the white rent-a-cop. And the white rent-a-cop is like,

yeah, there was a tall white guy and a tall black guy and they got into it. And it seemed like the black guy was going at it, like, a lot more aggressively. So then... He touched his nose! Touched his nose! So then Africa is right there. And it's like, no, he did not.

Excuse me. And she starts fighting with the cops. Because this guy deigned to say that Vaughn was the asshole in the situation. Oh, my God. Oh, poor Africa. And that's... It's crazy. deign to say that Vaughn was the asshole in the situation. Oh my god. Poor Africa. And that's it's crazy. I mean, in a certain way, I mean Triple was a little bit more

of the initial aggressor in that he got there and then he wouldn't sit down again and he took a microphone. There was some aggression in his way. To be fair, but we all hate Vaughn. Yeah, and you can't just hit somebody because you don't like them. Don't you remember your advice to your child?

Remember, mister? His name is Tribble. If you don't have haters, then you're doing something wrong. You're under average. So that was basically the episode in a nutshell. I really do encourage you to watch it. It gets your blood boiling. I can't believe we've talked for 45 minutes.

Yeah, we've had an hour of the new Atlanta. The dumbest fucking show to ever be filmed. Although it is so straight up. I think we have to give a nod to Matt Whitfield, as you guys had said earlier, that he was very much into the show as being the new Vanderpump Rules. Or did you suggest that, Ben? I want to give credit to Dan.

It was both. Matt was the one who was on board with the show as being the new Vanderpump Rules, or did you suggest that, Ben? I want to give credit where credit's due. Matt was, it was both. Matt was the one who was on board with the show, and then we got on board as soon as he left, and then, but I got on board because I realized it was the next Vanderpump Rules, but it's true, it gets your blood really boiling because you hate these people so much that it actually gives me more to talk about in more of an impassioned way than, like, Real Housewives of New Jersey ever did this past season. Well, I feel like the key is to get a guy who's sleeping with everybody. And either is terrible at or doesn't make an effort to conceal it.

Yes. And perhaps has babies with strippers in Vegas. In Vegas. Yes. If they had just been honest about their open relationship all season, Joe and Melissa's performances on Jersey might have been bearable this year. You're absolutely right.

We need to have a crossover with these two shows. How about we call it the new sir and have Stassi wait on Vaughn. Speaking of reality show crossovers, let's talk real quickly about I Dream of Nini finale. I know you guys didn't get to see much or all of it, right? Is that correct?

You say it was two hours long? It was two hours long. I watched part of it. Okay, the procession? There must have been about 30 people walking down that aisle. It played about two or three songs worth. And who names their wedding pea-colored? Like, who does that?

She's like, I want a pea-colored wedding. I mean, was it supposed to look like the gold iPhone? Because it looked like the whole wedding. Oh, my God. It had, like, that Instagram pea filter over it. Yeah. It was like when people were not walking down that aisle, we were cutting away to all the luminaries in the crowd,

which included Jill Zarin, Portia, and me. Time to break in for the news story this week that Jill Zarin came out and said that Wait, wait, wait. Excuse me, you said you had to break in with a news bulletin? Did I hear that?

Okay, well. I have some news. Breaking news. Something is breaking and it's not a card that my son is beating up because it told us to fuck off. It's actual news. The news is that Jill Serin came out on a blog. That's like the news, but it's not just for poor people. She said that the husband of one of her friends flirted with her too. That guy,

Ramona's husband, who supposedly got a teenager pregnant in the Hamptons. Oh my god. No me digas. No me digas. Do you guys believe that? Jill Zern totally got fingered by Mario. Listen.

Mario from the Mario Brothers. Listen, what you'll have to understand is that Mario is basically like the Vaughn of New York City. He goes after everyone, so don't think you're special, okay? He's holding a seminar. Yeah. He's holding a seminar at the Learning Annex. His wife

is holding one the next room over. Whichever one you want to go to. She's like, I was at this wedding and I sat on this chair. It was getting so much ass. So, by the way, Marisol was at Nini's wedding, too. Everyone thinks I'm hot.

Marisol was at it. Kim Zolciak was at it. Vivica A. Fox was there. Omarosa was there Omarosa deigned to tweet out some photos and almost got into serious trouble girl you better be careful yeah

when Judge Mathis is your priest you know it's going to be a classic night Patty Stanger was there and they misspelled her name on screen and they spelled it as Patty Stranger someone there and they misspelled her name on screen. They spelled it as Patty Stranger. Someone tweeted that to me too. I forget who it was, but thank you.

Judge Mathis. By the way, one time I saw Aretha Franklin at Hollywood Bowl. And she, like in between songs, she said, Everyone, everyone, I want, there's someone very special here. This is Jesse Jackson Jr. I want everyone to give applause to Jesse Jackson Jr. So everyone applause. This guy stood up and everything.

She goes, and now here's someone whose wit fills my life every day and makes me so happy. One of the brightest, most important men in our culture. And I'm thinking it's going to be like another like important luminary or whatever. She goes, Judge Gregory Mathis. And like Judge Mathis stands up and everyone in the Hollywood Bowl starts applauding for him. Oh my god. Oh my gosh. She's like most of you don't know this

but I have a very flexible schedule. I watch a lot of daytime TV and this man got me through some real hard times. She actually said I watch this show every day at 3 o'clock. It's a very fun man. It's like, all right. Okay, Aretha.

So really nothing happened in these two hours. The drama was that Nini was trying to get Greg to sign the prenup, and he was pulling off. And then at the very last minute, he pulls her aside, and they sit in these chairs. He goes, I want you to know I got you something special. I got you something. I'm going to get my family back, NeNe.

Now, listen here. Here's what my plan is, NeNe. I got you something so special. I have been kicking. I have been screaming. But I am ready to get my family back. NeNe, here is your signed paperwork. NeNe.

And then he dies of a heart attack because he's 100. That man is so old. I am sitting on my nuts, NeNe. My nuts are under my ass right now. It hurts, NeNe. I want to get my balls It hurts, NeNe. I want to get my balls

back together, NeNe. Now, what is Matt going to come back on? What's on Matt? No, but the funny thing was that when he gave her this prenup, Bravo played this music, this beautiful, sentimental music, like this was the most beautiful

moment between these two. He finally signed a prenup she was like he finally he finally agreed that the second time around he wasn't gonna try to take any of her shit if it all went to hell so you know what you go put that on a t-shirt, honey. But we still have a joint bank account, right, NeNe? Until we're divorced. I want my bank account back together, NeNe. I love when he was telling all the guys who were lined up outside.

He's like, you all look so beautiful. I'd marry each and every one of you if I wasn't taken. But NeNe, NeNe's got this locked up. I was like, oh lord. Greg, put that charm away, buddy. You're gonna hurt somebody. I would say the other thing that I really enjoyed in the episode was a small detail, but

Nini went to look at where her wedding was gonna be, and her prissy little button planner was like okay well we're gonna hang 60 000 crystals from the ceiling she's like 60 000 crystals oh yeah she's you know it's like oh wow 60 000 crystals cut to the next scene she's going to some podunk mexican restaurant with her family and having like burritos and fajitas i'm like listen lady i'm all about hilo and everything

but you can't be acting like you're all glamorous 60 000 you know crystals and then go on to like the south of the border mexican tex-mex place you know i'm just imagining cynthia at the wedding going uh is this a real wedding because i don't see any dinosaur yeah she's very confused um is someone going to be kicking us out in 15 minutes? Because otherwise this isn't a real wedding. The museum gave us exactly 20 minutes. Yeah, I don't know. I just spent two hours watching it.

I was like, it was just long and drawn out and boring and stupid. I will tell you one thing. When she was coming down that aisle, I was like, holy crap. I mean, whoever did that dress, they got a moose into that dress. It was like a really slow moving Rocky and Bullwinkle episode. That is awesome.

And then her thing, like she was suddenly having second thoughts and she almost couldn't get married. I was like, shut up. Did someone take too many as Annie as annie get back shut up nini by the way this is way every single one of these bravo web uh wedding shows are it's like oh my god something's not ready and oh my god am i can i do this and then it's like oh look how beautiful she is coming down the aisle it's just so stupid i can't i don't want to see another one they're like oh no i'm gonna do it am i not oh you, let me just

go ahead and go through with this mistake. I did enjoy, we got a little bit of Phaedra and Candy doing some of their classic banter, where Phaedra's like, who did your makeup? I love it. She's like, your face looks banged up. Yeah, she's like, she banged up

your face. Is that what she said? No, no, because she's like, did Ellen do your face again? She's like, no, I did it. She's like, oh, girl, you banged up your face. Your face is deep, honey. Your face is deep. Yeah, those two are so fabulously country. Yeah.

Because they're both from Athens, right? Yeah, they're the ones who deserve a spinoff together. So is Nene. Yeah, well, Nini has 60,000 swarovski crystals hanging from the ceiling so she's like super glamorous now guys yeah yeah um so let's see jay manual was there also in case anyone cares or remembers who he is and uh that's it it was it was just basically a very long two-hour experience. Now, the week's episode before, which I also caught,

where the girls were in Cancun, one barfed in the fitting ladies' room. Marlo got told off by everybody like three separate times. Diana had a painting of herself made with Nini that was creeping everybody out, and so she denied having it sent there. She's like, I didn't have that made. And they're like, who else would have a painting made

of themselves with Nene? She's like, I don't know. I don't know, maybe Cynthia a couple seasons ago. Yeah, no kidding. Where's the friendship contract? So funny. So I'm proud to announce that this bullshit is over. Now we can at least get to Atlanta, which is good.

But before that, why don't we talk about Miami? Because there's actually a lot that happened on Miami's episode, too. Let's do it. No, I just meant Nini is over. Yeah. Yeah, no, I know. So we had two big things, basically. First was Lisa and Joanna got into a big fight

at Leah's, at the launch of Leah's handbag thing. What'd you think about that one? I thought that was really funny and I'm glad that someone's finally telling stupid Lisa off with getting her nose and everything. Get your own fucking storyline, stupid. Yeah, basically, Lisa, what happened?

I'm sorry, what were you going to say? I was going to say, I watched the little, had the clip on the bravo website and i watched it and the reason i'm really glad this is finally happening to lisa because the other day i heard a great quote on i think it was brooklyn 99 it was some joke and it was someone saying she said you know how she her little intro is everyone likes to underestimate me and And the quote I heard was, no, you know, I think I've estimated you correctly. Yeah. And I kept thinking, that's like, yes, no, Lisa, I think we have appropriately estimated your capabilities. You are totally estimated.

The best line of that was when Leah was like, I don't mind if you fight at my party. It's okay, but, you know, promote the bags. Pick one up and slap a bitch with it. That made me laugh out loud. That, to me, was the quote of the week. I thought that was such a brilliant quote. And that's also the difference why Leah will never be Jill Zarin, because Leah says funny shit like that all the time.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I was looking at old photos of the ladies on the Bravo website as I was trying to find clips of the episode. Leah was smoking, guys. Yeah, they showed actually some vintage footage of her on this week's episode again. They showed her on one of her infomercials, which is hilarious. Yeah, I mean, she won a bodybuilding competition. What more can you ask?

That girl built it. Now people find out from my jam! Come to my jam. i'll invoice you later so right now if you like it you'll get an invoice in the mail if you don't like it we'll tear it down so the reason why the reason why there was this big fight was because Lisa was trying to be a peacemaker, which is something that these women on these shows do all the time. It always winds up biting them in the ass. She's trying to get Adriana and Leah to make peace.

And she was going after Leah and being like, you have a wall up. You have a wall up. You got to take down your wall. And Leah was basically like, I don't have a wall. And if I do have a wall, then fine. I'm wall and and leo's basically like um i don't have a wall and if i do have a wall then fine i'm just i'm like at my event i don't want to talk about this right now stay out of it you know which i think is totally lisa's like but if i don't talk about your shit i have nothing to talk about yeah it's just like i have to look at the fact that i i've married a very strange man who bleeds in bed.

Well, let's talk about what it's like trying to blow a 60-year-old. How fun is that? It's like trying to get a half-used tube of toothpaste to stay up straight. Oh, God. So then Lisa's getting all agitated that Leah's not taking down her wall, and then this somehow annoys Joanna, who's been drinking, and we saw some vintage season one Joanna where she just exploded and went

totally crazy. It made me realize how much I missed that side of Joanna, because we haven't seen it at all. Yeah, she needs a damn drink. And her voice started getting crazier and crazier, and she's like you know what you're out of my you're out of my

you're out of my wedding party get out of here you're whatever so they got this big fight I want her to start cussing in Polish I know I keep waiting for that to happen

that'd be so hot my favorite part is this fight goes back and forth it's screaming or whatever and then it sort of slows down and then

then it gets back up again wait wait you're underestimating me no you're underestimating me. No, you're underestimating me. Yeah, the school of fighting with Lisa. Yeah. Lisa's like, no, you're out of my wedding party. You're out of my...

I'm over average. You're under average. You're over average. You are. What does mediocre mean? So what I loved is that at one point, Lisa just storms out of there. But Alexia is there the entire time. Alexia is standing with the group.

At one point, Lisa storms out. She looks like a bird. Just kind of like. Lisa storms out. And then Alexia goes, what happened to Lisa? What happened to Lisa? I'm like, you were there the entire time. You saw her. She just

stormed out. You're a terrible journalist. Lisa Hawkeye has disappeared in the middle of nowhere, the middle boutique. She's gone missing. I don't know where she is. I'm putting her on the cover of my magazine

so hopefully somebody will recognize her and call me. She'll be a reporter on the cover of Oh Well You Know. So if you see her, Oh Well You Know, call reporter. That was weird when she's like, where is she? And Leah had been standing right there with her. And she's like, what happened? Well, they got in a fight.

You guys were standing right there. What the hell? You were literally right there what the hell you were literally right there were the camera people like oh you guys aren't being you guys aren't in this shot just pretend yeah well what i also enjoyed later on is another example of lisa hockstein's uh way with words was when she later look i think you're trying to differentiate between me and her just call me lisa 1 and her Lisa 2. Yeah, that's right. Listen, Lisa 2 is the business manager.

She's not your maid. It's true. It's true. So Lisa 2, later on, Leah had an unveiling for her grand ballroom. And Lisa 2 showed up. Lisa 2 showed up and I think it was Dr. Karen Sierra tried to broker some sort of conversation between Lisa 2 and Joanna. And Lisa 2's like, oh, listen, I'll come back. I got to go get a drink.

And she's holding a full glass of champagne in her hand. She's a terrible liar. She's terrible on her feet. Only good on her back. On my back! Dr. Karen Sierra overestimated her ability to tell the truth. They bring her back. Poor Karen.

Poor Karen is like, you know, her publicist is like, you know what? I heard they're shooting down the street. Why don't you just casually stroll past? Oh, hey, a photo shoot. She's just standing on the red carpet taking pictures with everybody the whole time. Taking selfies. Before Adriana. She's like, hey, congratulations.

You just got a picture of one of the guest stars of The Doctors. It's on TV in the daytime. So I thought all of this was really fake, and I don't know if they thought the season, I guess the season's over or something, because now Adriana and Leah had that big fake makeup scene. Yeah, they had a makeup scene and Adrian was like, You are my friend. You are my friend. Leah, I don't know what I did to you.

What do you mean you don't know what you did to her? You're horrible. I've forgiven you for your draconian antics. I still consider you a friend. You're still up to my standards. Why don't you live up to my standards? Standards. Yeah, I thought it was stupid.

The best line of the entire episode was posted on our Facebook by Gene Beaton. And it says, So what have you been doing, RJ? Disproving religion. Oh, that's nice, honey. Has a little cowboy hat on, too. He is the best. Yeah, I really honestly, with Miami, I'm so frustrated

right now. It just needs to fucking end. I don't want to sit through another wedding. I know. Although this was I actually thought this week's episode was good. I was involved with all the drama. At least they made an effort this week. Yeah, but oh my god. To think that we have another wedding coming our way.

Ugh, I can barf. Wait, who's getting married again? Joanna Krupa. Oh my god, that still hasn't happened. That's right. I mean, I don't know. Do you guys really think they're going to get married? I don't know.

Her whole circles. All of her confessionals are like, I mean, i guess it's happening and it's like haha the closer the date gets the less he wants to have sex with me haha everything's fine i liked also i liked roman's way of diverting joanna from her own bitchiness because at one point she was bitching she was like and i don't know where marta is and i miss marta and like you know it's she says because of you so then he's just he just says her hey uh you know i like that sex therapist yeah yeah he uh i like uh like the like the exercise is not you know not so much the worksheet

i don't like the worksheets but uh like the therapist she's like oh he's he's picked up diversionary tactics from vaughn he Yeah. He knows. It's not. How you say the we? Can we play the we? Oh, gross. Okay, let's move on from my jams. Do you guys have anything else to say about that? Nope. I've got nothing to say.

I'm done with that bullshit. Done. Done. What other shows do we have this week? Top Chef New Orleans. Such a good episode. T-C-N-O, y'all. This episode was really good,

and I'm sorry that we're getting to it so late, because it was really the first time this season that I really started to hate someone, and it's one that you liked, Ronnie. Which one? It was so long ago. He was the cute gay guy who has a Vietnamese boyfriend. Oh, I like him. I thought he was really funny.

He then decided that he was like the authority in all things Vietnamese. Yeah, but don't you think that the judge, that the editors and producers are like, okay, get that guy in the bottom. Whenever they're like, yeah, I'm an expert on Vietnamese food, they're like, he should be in the bottom. Then he'll cry.

He was being a total, total prick about it. Yeah. Well, that guy was being kind of a douchebag. He was being a total, total prick about it. Yeah. Well, that guy was being kind of a douchebag. He's like, Oh, the Vietnam expert.

Oh, wow. Well, no, that guy was, that guy was being, it turns out he's an expert in the Vietnam war. Oh yeah. He's like a big mash fan.

He's like, you know what? They love to eat their rations. I really know. He's like, you guys, love to eat there rations I really know he's like you guys have you seen Miss Saigon that was the shit Lea Salongo

Cola Voce Cola Voce remember China Beach you guys Dana Delaney did not start on desperate ass wives that was a good poll ronnie do you guys ever get dana delaney and janine turner mixed up because i do sometimes i did until janine turner died in that horrible accident now i just feel terrible janine turner died oh no guys i hope you feel like shit wait when did janine turner die i'm just kidding

oh my god you're terrible just kidding everyone's alive guys okay so northern you see how by the way do you see i'm like stop this podcast right now janine turner from northern exposure and cliffhanger is dead that's how i felt when i heard about Bette Midler I almost started crying well she's alive no stop this is a Halloween episode guys I'm googling everything because I cannot leave it to chance this is a Halloween horror night

stop toying with our emotions alright here's someone who's really dead Bobby Goulet aww sad but that's good With our emotions. All right, here's someone who's really dead. Bobby Kool-Aid! Aw, sad, but that's good. I was sort of hoping to do an impersonation of the fake ghost of Janine Turner. He's up in heaven like, guess what, I did a movie with OJ.

Not the juice, the star. Oh, and Leslie Nielsen's dead too. Oh, they're doing real fun improvising in everything. You guys are bumming me out. Okay, let's start talking about Topshop. Okay, so first of all, actually, I really did love this episode because they did not have a quick fire, but they spent the first 20 minutes or so, maybe even 25, going to different Vietnamese restaurants or places in New Orleans, and it looked all so delicious and wonderful.

I actually loved it. The show took on a little bit of that like Anthony Bourdain Oh my gosh, guys. I know this is really revolutionary but I actually watched this episode. I just realized that. Oh my god! Yes! I did! It was great.

I thought Jenny Turner died. I was like, oh my god. I actually thought, it was like, wait a second. It's true. She's dead. Wait a second. The Witch from American She's dead. Wait a second. The Witch from American Horror Story resurrected her, so it's okay. Spoiler alert. Stevie Nicks brought her back. But yes, I agree with you.

It was very fun to see the Vietnamese community in New Orleans. And that big, I love that grocery, that big old grocery store made me think of you, Ben. Because that's like the kind of place you could get lost for hours. Yeah, and you know what? Normally I would say watching that made me just want to like dive into some Vietnamese food. But as luck would have it, I was eating Vietnamese food while watching the episode. Ben, this is a spooky podcast. How scary.

This is a spooky podcast. How scary. Honestly, I love the quick fires, but I did enjoy seeing some of the local culture in New Orleans and this Vietnamese local culture. Local culture, excuse me. So anyone else feel that way too? Actually, I'm looking at Janine Turner pictures online. I like that girl who looks like she spends more time on her makeup than cooking.

The Australian one? Yes, with the short shorts. Yeah, she was the one who was eliminated once again. No, I like the blonde. Are you talking about the blonde with the red lipstick? She didn't get eliminated. The blonde one did. The blonde Australian did.

Here, I'm going to Google this. She did? Yeah. Remember your theory, Ronnie, that there's a fat gay man who hates hot people running the casting yes it's three for three three for three so who would be next bottom the bottom vietnamese guy hey do you guys think it's true oh god never i shouldn't say this in public we're not just on the phone together i'll say i like that forget that yeah yeah i just censored myself. Sorry.

Janine Turner's in a see-through dress on the internet. I've got to turn this off. I can't look at this. I can't concentrate. Oh, my God. You want to know a weird twist of fate? What's that actress' name? Janine Turner?

She's not dead, but the name of the girl who was eliminated from Top Chef is Janine. Blonde Australian girl is Janine. Blonde Australian girl is Janine. Guys, this just got creepy. Oh my god. Oh my god. And I bet Janine Turner's been to Australia. Sorry, I'm not dying. Oh my god.

Guys, I think next season we should get Janine Turner on Top Chef. I think we should just ask her to come on here all the time and be like, so, did you watch Top Chef? And she'll be like, no. We'll be like, what did you think of the Vietnamese challenge? We'll just ask her stuff she doesn't know anything about. Is that mole real?

She was, I think she had a talk show like two years ago, oddly enough. She did. Didn't we all? I don't know. I know. The thing, I don't know which one I'd like to watch more. The Tempest Blood Show talk show or the Janine Turner one? We have a current talk show so we're

winning. True. It's on iTunes. The point is this. I really, really enjoyed this episode. Good criticism. I was nervous. I was excited to see what was going to happen. I love that the Vietnamese expert wound up on the bottom.

And I love that Tom grilled him for that weird tomato thing that the guy made. Tomato sauce. And he's like, well, I had that in Vietnam. And he's like, yeah, well, you can have a McDonald's in Paris. But if it's a Parisian challenge and you make McDonald's, it's not going to work. That's a dang boom. Yeah you make McDonald's it's not going to work that's a dang like boom he had like a Tom handprint

on his pasty little face the thing was he didn't even just say well you know it's funny I've actually had it four times and I thought it was something I could bring over maybe I get lost in translation he was like well actually the past four times I've been there I've had it so yeah it's a Vietnamese thing.

So I'm like, fuck you. Here's the issue here, and it's across all competition reality TV shows. Any single time somebody brags about, like, whether it's The Apprentice, Amazing Race, Survivor, Top Chef, if somebody brags about having a certain area of expertise, that's always the one

they fail in well actually this week kind of proved us wrong because the asian lady won well no but she was like she wasn't bragging she was like nervous she was nervous well she wasn't bragging that's true but she was like oh wouldn't it be so sad if that asian person lost the asian talent oh my god that would be terrible she I love her. She's so hyper, but I love her. I love that chick too. I know, I love her. Hey, hook up my beat!

Hook up my beat! That was right there, honey. You put it back there. What the hell? Oh, you try this. Try this now. Try this now. Eat this now.

Eat this. I'm 100% not attempting that. And by the way, we may sound racist, but that's actually the way her voice sounds. We're just doing an impersonation. We're not being racist.

They're being racist, guys. She sounds exactly like me. And if we are being racist, but that's actually the way her voice sounds. We're just doing an impersonation. We're not being racist. They're being racist, guys. She sounds exactly like me. And if we are being racist, we can have Janine Turner in here to teach us how to do that. Oh, teach us a lesson, Janine. You know she's good with race relations. She has to be. All that time in Alaska.

Just from knowing a bunch of Indians? Come on. They're not a race. Listen, you don't get to climb the mountains with Sly Stallone without having some race relations under your belt. Oh, my God. I want to watch that movie again. That was pretty good.

Is that Cliffhanger? Cliffhanger, yeah. It was a good movie. Oh, my partner died. Did he just bounce off something? Yes. Guys, I know this is... That's every Sly Stallone movie.

It's like, look, it's a 1920s. Guys, I know this is totally off topic, but he scares the shit out of me. He's so scary looking. Stallone? Have you seen him? Yes. He looks like a garbage pail kid. Yes, he has old man skin, but he's he's like i'm gonna cover my body in tattoos

because that won't look terrifying yeah it's like i'll make my stretch marks into some some kind of shape or something like oh when i was when i was a kid i saw an episode of wonder woman and a guy melted on the show and it really like scarred me and it really scared me and and that's what he looks like to me now the melted guy and you guys, like, scarred me, and it really scared me, and that's what he looks like to me now, the melted guy. Yeah. You guys are totally watching The Expendables Part 2 tonight. Bye! Okay, so we have to also

talk about something else that happened on Topshop. Tell us. It was a really long time ago, I don't remember. Sorry. Something else happened. And then people ate the food, and then they were like, blah, blah, blah, and then the judges were like, and then they were like, blah, blah, blah. And then the judges were like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the people were like, ah, you got stuck on my feet!

And then it was the end. I can't believe that pretty girl got kicked off. I totally forgot. Yeah, she got kicked off. And they're also starting to make the curly-haired New Orleans guy, they're going to make him into an asshole, because the black lady from St. Lucia has been just randomly uttering why she hates him so much.

Does she have really short hair? Yeah. Oh my god, I love her because she reminds me of a character from Orange is the Black. The kitchen bitch. Oh my god. Is that the one that Juliana Huff went into blackface for? Oh my god, no. No, that's Crazy Eyes.

Crazy Eyes. I was at that party, thank you very much. And I saw that bitch. And I was with my friend Trisha, and she's like, that girl's in blackface. And I was like, no she's not. And I walked up to her and I was like, that is Juliana Huff. What is she doing? Is it Huff or Huff? What party was this?

It was Mike... Mike... Not Mendelsohn, hold on. Mendelsohn? Something like that. Spike Mendelsohn, hold on. Mendelsohn? Something like that. This rich dude in Beverly Hills who owns golf clubs and shit, he just started a tequila with George Clooney called Casamigo Tequila. Just a little something called that. Yeah, Casamigo, there you go, Mr. Mike. Well, I'll have you know I'm going to be starting a lemonade business with Janine Turner, so...

Well, you tell me to come to your house when you do it, and I will announce it on this show later, okay? So, listen, here's the deal, guys. Here's what I have to say. Okay. I love that lady from St. Lucia, but I really want to scrape her face. I know that's horrible. I know that's horrible, but if that was me, I would take nail clippers to it. But I'm a self-mutilator. Harsh words. I just plucked something off my nose yesterday. You know what?

You're really bonding it right now. Well, you know what? Yeah, he's being honest. After I scraped her face, I would go cheat on the bitch while she was at home recuperating. But I would tell her about it, so. Yeah. That's okay. She'd be like, why are you wiping your mouth?

And I'd be like, listen, babe, you've got holes in your face now, after I took the nail clippers tweet. So, you know, I think eventually once you heal, we can probably do this again, but for now I'm fucking other people. Okay, I also brought you a Diet Coke. Oh, well that's okay. I think on that note, I think we can wrap it up, because we've been going for a while now.

You don't give me back my pee! So anyway, well, you can wrap it up, Ronnie, because you're hosting this week. I'm too tired! Hey, everybody, thanks for listening to Watch What Crapped. It's a podcast we'd love to talk about Bravo stuff on. I'm Ronnie Karam. You can find me on Twitter at Ronnie Karam. You can find me on Twitter

at Ron and Karam. You can find me on... That's good enough. My website is Trash Talk TV. There's a lot of recaps and stuff. Ben, you can find on all the social networks. He's at B-Side Blog on everything. Twitter, Instagram, fine. Lisa Timones is

on the podcast adventure with Ben and Lisa. You can also find her on Twitter, at TimonsLisa. Or you can tweet us all at our Watch What Crappens page, which is at What Crappens. Or come over to Facebook, where people talk all during the week and post articles and stuff. And we talk shit about Bravo all week long. And that is Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. So we will see you next week. Come on the page if there's anything specific you want us to talk about,

and we will do it. Yay. Thanks for being on here again, Lisa. Yeah, thanks, Lisa. That was so fun. Guys, I love this party. I don't ever want it to end. I'm just kidding.

I have to go. Yeah. Wow. We're going to kill it. We're going to excite me and then kill it. All right. Well, thanks, everybody. Bye.

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