Watch What Crappens - #110: Stripping, Cabo, and "Heels"

Episode Date: January 15, 2014

We are back with a brand new episode of Watch What Crappens, and this week Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) dive into the latest fight between Brandi and Joyce on "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." Who deserves an apology (aside from the viewers)? Then it's on to "Vanderpump Rules" as Stassi's birthday weekend from hell continues to decimate Cabo San Lucas. Will Kristen ever break up with Tom? Will Stassi stop yelling at her friends? And will Jax ever be able to not tell a lie? Pressing issues. Plus, Ben talks about his recent visit to Sur last week. Next up is "Real Housewives of Atlanta" which means more Kandi Burruss impersonations, and finally, things wrap up with "Blood, Sweat, and Tears" which may be our favorite new show. Along the way, there's plenty of gossip about Bravo's latest projects and many other fun tidbits. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, did you know that it costs about $12 to $15 to get your own domain? Hey everyone, did you know that it costs about $12 to $15 to get your own domain? Well, if you go to GoDaddy.com and use the promo code CRAPPINS, you can get one for like $2 for an entire year. That's $10 you can save and you can put that towards a meal, towards who knows what, but you should really do it.

CRAPPINS is the keyword and you want to go to GoDaddy.com. Do it guys. It'll be real fun. That's what's Chaz. Vanderpump rules. Come gather round and make fun of his fools. The podcast's not proper. Nothing runs with Bravo. But that's okay. We only care about Bravo. Watch what crap is.

Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? What happens? What happens? Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Let's look what happens when there's so much that crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast that's about all that crap on Bravo that we love. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. You can find me at bsideblog on Twitter and Instagram and Vine or wherever else you might want to seek me out. And joining me as always is my plucky and lovely co-host, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie.

Well, hello, everybody. Happy 2014 again. Yes. Let's just start over again, guys. Start over the new year. This is actually our first proper podcast episode since the holidays, really, because last week was our crappies episode. And if you want to listen to a long string of impersonations and awkward moments, then just go listen to that on iTunes. Ronnie can be found at TrashTalkTV.com and TrashTweetTV on Twitter.

And you can find this podcast's Facebook page. It's facebook.com forward slash watchwhatcrappens. I cannot encourage you guys enough to like the page if you haven't already because we have, I don't know, about 2,100 likes. I mean, we should have like 15,000 by now, but we're just at 2,100, but that's quite all right. We have a lot of fun on that page, and we get a lot of content. For all you guys. Yeah, it's super super fun um and of course you know follow us on itunes and on

soundcloud or stitcher just do a search for watch what crappens and you'll find us yeah so we got all the housekeeping out of the way um so uh gosh ronnie feels nice to be back at this doing a proper podcast does it not it does and bravo has been so funny lately, so thank you, Bravo, to that. Before we even get going on all the different shows and stuff, well, this week, by the way, just in case you want to know if we're going to talk about your show, we're going to talk about the Beverly Hills Housewives, the Atlanta Housewives, what else did we say? Vanderpump Rules. Vanderpump Rules.

And what's the other one? Blood, Sweat, and Heels. Blood, Sweat, and Heels. But before we even start talking about that, I have to say, another week, Andy still has that beard. Oh, gosh. I don't even watch that Watch What Happens Live. But Andy, shave your beard. That is not cute.

It's bad enough you're cross-eyed, lispy, and you look like you're spazzing out every time you try and say a sentence. Please, shave. The least you could do is shave. Make an effort. I can only imagine how much tuna salad is caught in those whiskers oh girl i'm not saying that metaphorically because we all know metaphorically it's not tuna salad he's interesting he would be a closeted he would be closeted he would be a closeted straight guy who just needed some kind of personality so he glommed onto gayness yeah that would be funny and while i'm at things i can't stand on bravo anymore please enough with vagina waxing bravo i mean i'm so glad you brought that up it's like a vagina being waxed in my face stop it you know it's so funny i was going to bring that up when once we started talking about

um real housewives of beverly hills because kyle and kim richards went and got their vajayjays wax or vaginas i'll say I'll say vaginas because apparently Kyle Richards can't say it. And when I was watching it, I'm like, I'm so sick of watching women on Bravo get their vaginas waxed. And I'm sick of that. And I'm sick of watching them take stripper lessons, which happened also in the same episode this week. I'm sick of all these things. Fashion shows, it's like every single episode is the same thing. No kidding. You guys, just admit it. You're all dried up. Fashion shows, it's like every single episode is the same thing. No kidding. You guys, just admit it.

You're all dried up. Stop trying to prove that you're not. Just, I would rather an episode about you all trying to figure out how not to be so dried up. Yeah, and honestly, the joke about watching people get their hairs waxed off, it's no longer funny. It's no longer interesting. The novelty is gone. off is like it's it's no longer funny it's no longer interesting the novelty is gone it's not funny watching kyle richards and kim richards cackling in an office or seeing stassi's blurred out hooch no it's just it's not working for me anymore it barely works to begin with i do not

need to see your origami meat folds keep them keep them at bay thanks aren't there more interesting things that these women on bravo could be doing how, why don't we see them go to the library? How about that? Yeah, how about read something? Yeah. Or how about take a class on how to read something? You know? How about download the app Duolingo to your phone and try and learn a new language like Ben and I are doing?

Oh my God, Duolingo's been down today and I have not been able to work on my German. Oh, necesito aprender, I mean, necesitas aprender mas German? Das ist schlecht. Das ist schlecht. Das ist schlecht. You see, guys, Ben and I know how

to further ourselves. We are learning a new language, so we can possibly move to other countries and maybe find more success there than we found here in America. Right.

In fact, right now, I will say, Ich mag nicht die vagina waxing, which means there than we found here in america right in fact right now i will say each mac each max niche the vagina waxing which means i don't like the vagina waxing and in my new language no mas por favor no es necesario okay yeah nine nine bitter means no please no please yeah and in gay put that shit away yeah and in and in fashion queen speak it's put that tea back in the box and in alexia from royal housewives of miami language oh well you know peter you know he crashed the car because he was thinking about meat folds so please don't do

that no more oh well you know peter like you, it's very difficult for him to see people shaving because it reminds him a lot of Frankie and how he was about to learn how to shave before the accident. And, you know, oh, well, you know, Peter, this is just the way he expresses himself. So, like, I'd be really respectful if you could not shave on screen for Peter. Oh, my God. You know, when she said, oh, that is what his little brother did when he got an accident. So I would appreciate no more shaving. OK. Oh, well, you know, Peter, it's very he got in an accident. So I would appreciate no more shaving. Okay. Well, you know, Peter, it's very difficult for him to see pain.

Pain on TV is very difficult. That's not okay. So we let's, oh, by the way, also, we're not going to talk about Shaw's The Sunset this week because Ronnie is behind. You guys, I'm doing this game in 2014 called I Cannot Watch It Anymore and I'm Not Going To.

I'm also closing my eyes when I pass bus stops and see all those poor people hating each other and going through trash cans. Okay? I can't do it anymore. I'm pretending this world is a better place. And you know what? If you want to hear Shah's coverage, well, I'm sorry. I guess it just won't happen here because Ronnie's not watching. And yes, Ronnie, I am going to throw you under the bus, but not just any bus.

It's a bus with a giant poster of Mike and Reza on it. Well, it's okay because I will not see the bus because I'm closing my eyes at bus stops. Okay. We have a lot of bus metaphors going on right now. Yeah, I have a lot more to come. I think we still might talk about Shah's in the future because I still love it. And there's been a lot of drama. Yeah, because let's face it, I'm not going to watch four hours of it to get caught up okay basically here's here's basically the gist of the last episode asa had a diamond water party and mike got really wasted and um he was

like an asshole to reza but of course reza was an asshole and then gg brought her new boyfriend cheyenne who is hot as fuck he is like I mean Gigi you gotta hand it to the girl she may be crazy but she always gets hot guys even the last guy who sort of looked ladylike and plastic surgery he still was hot well this guy's gotta be gay his name is Cheyenne Cheyenne well he's 21 and he was really dumb and Gigi introduced him to MJ and MJ was totally uh totally patronizing and then Reza was standing behind MJ and MJ was asking him questions about like are you in school or like do you know this or that and every time she asked a patronizing question Reza would just stand behind her go it was like so obnoxious like such a

mean girl thing you know like one person's being a bitch and the other person laughs to show they're like supporting it yeah so basically Reza sucks and mj uh here's some gossip for everyone in case you didn't come to our facebook page there was a shooting in the building next to mj so unfortunately they missed famous i mean think about that kind of a target y'all you would never make it in texas shooter yeah you would never make it in any basic shooting scenario actually that's the truth that's the that's the truth of the matter that's like a a mac truck is coming your way i'm not even gonna go this way because i don't want to be in the spirit of jay moore the way he fat shamed alissa milano but he did oh yeah this is a big deal actually how was jay moore fat shaming anybody have you seen him lately oh my god

he looks like christy alley he actually really railed on her i think either on his podcast or on a radio show and he really really really railed on he's like yeah i heard that she just had a baby i read it on her gut or something like that and it like it caused like a big controversy and then she wrote she tweeted at him saying like hey jay so sorry you felt the need to fat shame me. Say hi to your beautiful wife for me. So I say good for her. And I did want to say – even though I was just about to make a really cheap joke at MJ's expense about her weight, the truth is I'm always on the fence because I'm always like, gosh, she's really ballooning. But at the same

time, I'm like, but she does sort of own it. And I can't, I can't fault her for that. Well, you're allowed to fat shame a fat person, but you're not allowed to shame a person, fat shame a person who just had a baby. There are even rules in the, in the whorish bitch world. Okay. Like you're allowed to be a bitch to some people, not, but not to all of them. Yeah. And actually you're only allowed to fat shame if you fat shame yourself, which we do all the time. And speaking of fat shame, our former colleague, Matt, would have really appreciated this,

that during the party on Shazza Sunset, Mike picked up a platter of sliders and pointed to Reza. He was like, Reza hates sliders, sliders. So... Reza's too terrible to watch. The other ones ones i kind of expect them all to be terrible but for some reason in the beginning i liked reza so that he just turned into a horrible

horrible bravo feguito burrito like i can't watch it anymore yeah you know it's like i had a and there was no hope oh and they also all hate lily now because she's not like hanging out you know which i think makes sense because why would she ever want to hang out with these horrible people but whatever well lily's also horrible like if these people can make that dumb bimbo with like triple d saline sacks that probably muhammad paid for like and if they can make her look like a nice girl i mean that girl's a dumb hoe who makes bikinis for a living shut the fuck up she doesn't even have a face that works and she's in her 20s i don't agree with her. And they can make her

look likable. This show's not worth my time. No, it isn't. Okay, so moving on, let's get a gossip. What's the gas, Ronnie? Well, there's nothing really too crazy this week on the old bravs, but they have announced some new shows and I've seen the preview for this one that is called Southern Charms.

Southern Charms. Have you ever wanted to explore the lives of aristocratic families of the South? No. Why? Because I've done it. And there's nothing worse than old ladies on Bravo than men who are old ladies on Bravo. And that's what this show is. These men all look like

old, leathery ladies. Their boobs are just as big. I don't need to watch any of that. But I will. Every episode. All right. Did you see that preview last night? I did not, actually. I did not see it.

But I read about it. They're like, oh, welcome to the South. They're all kind of like Kevin Spacey in House of Cards. Okay. But there's like five of them. And then there's one called Online Dating Rituals of the American Male. Okay. Which has basically got to be fat guys in wigs jerking off to their cell phone because what else could that be i know i was like oh so this is a show

about guys hooking up is that what this is this is a show about guys like talking with someone for like 20 minutes then moving on to another person and talking to them for 20 minutes yeah like realizing that they're typing fat and then moving on to somebody else yeah um flipping out is not new i guess that's one of the returning shows yeah and uh people's couch is coming back without ben and ronnie again yeah they're showing these really cute gay guys i still haven't watched it but the guys really are very cute well because one of the gay guys used to be on full house and that made like a minor blip on the pop culture radar like a month ago so bravo included that in their press release they're like you know one of the people is the guy from full house who we reintroduced to

you and i'm like i really don't think america cares if you reintroduced the gay guy from full full house who's on for like half a season i care he's really cute and do you like how i said they replaced us we were never hired for that show i know exactly no but they are they're all like i was fired after 10 seasons they actually are all very cute, and they're nice, too, according to – Yeah, they're cute, and they're nice to us on Twitter. Yeah, they're nice to us on Twitter, I should say. And then they're showing The Real Housewives of New York City. That show is going to be amazing this year.

I can just tell. We've already seen Sonya's vagina, so. If you have not seen the preview, you should go to our Facebook page, facebook.com forward slash watch what crappens and check it out because the the preview for the season looks amazing luann is not a full time member and i think the rumor is because she held out too long with the contract negotiations and screwed herself out of being a full-time cast member but the trailer is absolutely amazing and it's all worth it for the very very very very last shot which is of aviva's leg which is not attached to her body yeah it's gonna be amazing and also everybody's calling carol out every chance they get because of all the shit she talked behind everyone's back last

year so guess what it's not gonna take her down because carol's like she's she's made it to the cool level of the housewives like it's like lisa vanderpump and carol yeah they're above it and they know they're like sitting there collecting their little check that they can donate to somebody else later. Exactly. There's two more little quick things. Media Takeout is saying

world exclusive, world exclusive. We know the real reason that Portia didn't tell Nini about her new house. And Ben, why don't you tell us? Because I don't want to read the article. According to the article, Bravo is renting Porsche's house and it's also renting Nini's

house. But the thing is that Porsche's house is actually larger than Nini's house. And so Porsche was scared to show Nini her house because then she thought Nini would get really jealous and mad. But of course that's exactly what the producers want. Yeah. Just like, of course, that's exactly what the producers want. Yeah.

Just like, you know, just like everyone's late again. Oh, really? Because I think they were just driven they're late. No one ever knows when they're late, you know? That's why no one ever apologizes. Okay, and then the other thing is the misrepresentation of Mama Joyce. Mama Joyce is going around to Ebony complaining that it's all in the editing and she's really nice. LOL.

Yeah, so was that like CGI when she got up and took off her shoe and tried to attack her like today did they just like ship out that footage to industrial light and magic was that just all the editing right there yeah confused yeah she's fucking crazy um i could read all this but really we have so many shows to talk about let So where would you like to begin, Ronnie? I would like to begin with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, y'all. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's get into that, right, y'all? Okay, vagina waxing, Brandy's drunk, they took a stripper class, they got so wasted

they couldn't even go into kim's daughter's party they just sat out there okay look fat burger i love that kyle is the one with a weight problem first of all she doesn't really even look fat but it's fun to call her fat because she thinks she's fat but kyle is the one with the weight problem and every party she's at she gets fucking fat burger there for free how How does she do that? Yeah, she does it because she's Kyle Richards, and that's the pull that she has. She has ends with fat burger. Listen, she has a lot of punch cards. No kidding.

Like Baja Fresh might do my party because I eat a lot of their soup. But come on, Kyle, you can't complain about being fat and then have like your biggest fan be fat burger. Do you think it was tacky for Brandy and Carlton to sit on the stoop and eat the burgers before going in yeah but they're both horrible they shouldn't even be on the show this is the downfall of beverly hills that we're watching right now because they're letting these poor idiots on like these poor whores who married up instead of like actual rich leathery women carlton really is an idiotic twit and she thinks she's very sophisticated but she's actually just like a tacky tacky twit she's terrible like every single week is her trying to

prove that her vagina is still lubing itself no one's buying it no one's buying it work more on your moisturizing but you know the other thing is that she has a total double standard with these people i mean i'm not saying that i love kyle richards very much but that being said when brandy is puking in the bathroom you know carlton is very concerned whereas if it were kyle puking carlton be like oh how bloody on civilized just hold it in why don't you you know it's like she would do that you know well not only that but brandy is sticking her finger down her throat puking. She's not only sick. She's going into a full bulimic episode after a fat burger. I mean, come on. Yeah, and that was, by the way, some great audio design that was happening right there, listening to her puke.

I wish I'd recorded that. Instead, what I recorded was the sound of Brandy's voice. Because Brandy, I don't know if you noticed, in one of her interview segments, she's Bot botox her face up so much that she doesn't she can't talk properly i've noticed it all season like her lip doesn't move it's like she's just come from the dentist but i think it's botox and it looks so silly that that uh it bothers me every week but this week it actually impeded her ability to talk i'm going to play a sound clip that she that i recorded of her talking and her mouth is so frozen she doesn't sound like she's speaking proper English or she sounds like she might be a deaf person.

No offense. I'm pressing play. It notoriously always takes forever for this play button to actually work. I mean, you get the visuals. Disgusting. Do you hear that? That was Brandy talking.

It sounds like that kid, that famous YouTube video of the kid who's coming back from the dentist. Yeah, that's right. Here, I'm going to play it again. Listen to her voice. She's not slurred because she's drunk. She's slurred because she can't physically open her mouth. You get the visuals. Disgusting. You get the visuals. Disgusting. You get the visuals. Disgusting.

Yeah, this, you know, I moved to West Hollywood a few years ago, but I live like on the east side of West Hollywood, which is now turning straight, which thanks a lot of straight people. You live technically in mid-city West Hollywood, as they're calling it now. Is that what they're calling it? Because city lines say West Hollywood. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're in the mid-city of West Hollywood. You're not in East West Hollywood. Does it go further east? Well, it goes to La Brea. Actually, you're technically-

Oh. Actually, since you are on Fairfax, you're basically right on the border between mid-city and East West Hollywood, just so you know. Yeah, well, I think it's like the most ghetto section of East. I feel like I'm just like right on the cusp and like that's where all the straight people are coming now yeah and now they're even building like all these gigantic condos where there's going to be more of them coming but anyway um nothing against straight people most of you but these you know there's a lot the reason we say the straight people are coming is because there's all these straight bars now. And they're very popular with all these young straight people.

And they're just barfing all over the streets and walking around. All these girls are wasted. The first night I moved in here, I was coming home. And through my gate, this girl, this kind of like MJ, chunky girl, was bent over barfing in front of my fucking gate. And her girlfriends were holding her hair back. And then they just walked on. I like welcome to fuck home my point is that's what i feel like is happening to the real housewives of beverly hills i feel like they're just busting in awful straight

people and they're way too old to be acting like that well they i i will especially in carlton's case i mean carlton she really brings nothing to the table except a hideous tattoo on the back of her neck. And her tramp stamp that looks like hair. It looks like a big hairy mole. So, you know, I have to say, Joyce, who is one of the new members who you're speaking of, in the beginning of the season, I didn't like her. I found her to be very fake or whatever. But I am finding myself repeatedly on her side.

No! Yes. Oh, my God. I wish Matt was here to yell at you no i think he would be too you know why because brandy is obnoxious to her brandy is truly obnoxious and joyce is fake and she is like a robot and she's annoying but the truth is that when she gets pushed she uh with the exception of when she had the issue with Lisa's hair or whatever. She stands up for herself very well, and she's very to the point. And I think that her points are all valid, too. And I think that Brandy has been completely in the wrong during all of this. And I think it's fine for Joyce to call her maybe not a bully.

I don't like the whole bully thing. But, yeah, I think it's fine for her to say the racist thing, because Brandy did say something like that. If you don't really know her very well, you might think that she is kind of racist. Yeah, but the thing is, like, if you get in a fight with someone like Brandi, you just say, you know, you're a stupid drunk, you make racist comments, and you're an idiot. But Joyce doesn't do that. It's like every week, oh, no, but you're a racist. I am black.

I was bullied in high school. I was bullied. And you're black. I'm black. I'm black. I'm black. I'm black. I'm black. If she says I'm black one more fucking time like i know i would like to just

watch her drop into uh blood sweat and heels for like five seconds well you know i'm not saying that joyce is without her faults i'm just saying that if i had to compare the two on the idiot scale i feel like joyce is actually coming out on top of Brandy. Brandy's awful, but Joyce is giving Brandy even more to do. Like, if you think about it, really all Brandy has had to do is this nonsense with Joyce. And if she didn't have it, she would just be drunk and losing her job, basically. She has nothing else going on. And I'm all for that. Brandy needs to go.

Carlton needs to go. Joyce needs to go. They need to get rid of all those bitches and bring, just either bring back the old ones or get some new horrible hags who like have some kind of brains i mean come on yeah they're making it look hamil look smart i know i will say that there really are not a lot of brains going on in general with this cast um and that also goes by the way for our dear kim richards who um had a graduation party which we mentioned before and by the, and side note, Carlton going there and asking for booze, like, repeatedly was, again, she's a tacky twit. Because if someone did that to her, if she were sober, and if she were throwing a party for Destiny or Mystery or Black Cat or whatever her other kid's name is, she would flip the fuck out.

Like, are you really going to ask me about booze? Really? But instead, she's saying they're asking for cocktails at an alcoholic's house. You know, I was a vegan for two weeks. Okay? If you came over to my house and I served you some tofu mayonnaise, you'd be pissed. Like, I'm still inviting you to my house for a party. I'm going to serve you some fucking cake. Well, you're vegan.

Listen, you're vegan by choice. It's not like you had an addiction to non-vegan food. I have an addiction to M&M's and if I'm giving up M&M's and you still want some, I don't have a right to be pissed at you for wanting some fucking M&M's, Kim. Look, it's like I said, I read that.

We're not saying that Kim should have been pissed at Carlton. Kim wasn't really even pissed. It's more like Carlton should not have been so stupid to ask once. It's fine to ask once, you know, because sometimes there are people who do have, you know, who are in recovery, but still are fine.

They serve booze, whatever. Listen, if I have to go to one of your children's bullshit parties that no fucking adult wants to go to, okay, we're all going because we have to have your kid 100 for whatever goddamn reason. And you're not going to even serve me booze because you feel like being sober. Listen, I'm sick of Kim whining and crying all the time

about her alcoholism. Alcoholism is not a disease. Cancer is a disease. Alcoholism is a lifestyle choice, all right? Well, Ronnie, you're walking on some... At least... Well, Ronnie, you're definitely... You may be walking a line here.

I don't know if I would agree with you on that one. I think that alcoholism could be qualified. Well, you don't have to. I'm sick of people whining because they spent so much time being alcoholics. Listen, if you can get over that and you can make a good life for yourself, congratulations for you on getting sober. I'm not saying don't get sober. I'm saying stop fucking blaming everybody else. Like, you were stricken down with downs, okay?

Well, you're not supposed to. You chose to fucking be a drunk okay not anybody else so stop acting like it was just something that you got struck down with well i think it's it's a little blurry in that front because yes you may have started the drinking or whatever but then if you if you're an alcoholic i mean you just you physically can't it's like it's it's not like, I'm choosing to just like – it's just it's more complicated than saying it's a choice. But that's regardless. Regardless of the matter. It is. Even if it becomes like a major addiction that you throw your life away on, it is a choice.

Like it's a personal choice. You can choose to not be an alcoholic. I know that that's not a popular thing to say. But look at all the people who are no longer alcoholics. Well, no. I know what you're saying. You can choose to stop drinking and go into recovery etc i think it's more like when you're drinking sometimes the choice is no longer you no longer have that choice that's well yeah because you've chosen to be drunk

so many times that you're now an addict right or you may be predisposed like i know i know how fucking horrible that sounds and i come from a family where there is a lot of alcoholism so i think that that's where a lot of it comes from because i'm so sick of fucking excuses like if you're gonna be drunk your whole life you don't get to said like we've we've suffered from the repercussions of that and now you don't get to come in and play the sympathy now that's that's where you're right because i mean no you're right there because the whole thing with 12 steps is that like one of the steps you have to apologize to everyone and you have to apologize and you can't like hold anything back you can't be like well it's not a conditional thing it's like you have to apologize because the thing is that like the way you treat people and so that's

why when kim later on when she starts up with lisa about not coming to the party because lisa did not go to the graduation party because she was in missouri for an appearance then she came back she landed and went to dinner at sir whatever and And Lisa had already said that she wasn't going. She'd already RSVP'd that she wasn't going. But Kim still was nagging her about it after Lisa had sent Kimberly a Tiffany pen, no less. The point is that at one point, Ken, first of all, he goes, oh, stop it, Kim.

And then he mentions, you know, there have been plenty of things that you goes oh stop it Kim. And then he mentions. You know there have been plenty of things that you didn't show up for. And then she says well that's not very nice. That's not nice of you to say. That was like really out of line. But no Kim. You have to accept that that's actually. Yeah and then she starts crying. And pulling that victim card.

And that's what I'm saying. It's like. That's not. In the first few seasons of this show. And I know that she was like really into her full alcoholism. And all of that. But she's missing things left and right. People are waiting for her for two hours.

Every episode, it's waiting for Kim to show up somewhere for two hours. She doesn't show up to Lisa's daughter's wedding, as we found out from the Bravo blog this week. And she said she was going to go. There was an empty seat, which is different from Lisa saying, RSVPing two weeks prior, saying, I'm not going to go to your daughter's graduation party. Yeah. So I think I've made my – I mean, think that my point is clear even if it's shitty. Like my point is congratulations on getting your shit together. But you don't get to like get on a pedestal and start acting better than everybody else when you flaked out on everything since you were 10. Yes.

So shut up. Yes. On that point, I agree. I agree. I think that Kim was 100 uh wrong and i love the way that ken dealt with it he was just totally dismissive i was like oh please oh please come on come on and she's like now now now well it was kind of a dick move you know now i'm gonna totally change because that's how i roll but it was kind of a dick move on his part because he

was pretty much calling her an alcoholic no no i actually don't think like he was saying there's plenty of stuff kim hasn't showed up for knowing that she never showed up anywhere because she was a drunk i mean that's been addressed i don't think i actually don't think i actually don't think that's what he was i don't think it was that that thought ahead i think like she has not shown up to a lot of things including their daughter's wedding where they had paid for a seat for her they had paid for her meal whatever and so for her to start talking about this when they had rsvp'd no and they had sent a gift which is above and beyond um uh the protocol um then for her to complain about that i think yeah he's just probably like well you know what you haven't shown up to a lot of things you know the implication is including our daughter's

wedding not because you're an alcoholic that's her her own guilty conscience for her to take it to that place. Yeah, I'm not sure about that. I think it was kind of a dick move on his part, but I liked it. Because I really, I just, I'm sick of this victim shit. Like, take some responsibility. She still hasn't apologized for a lot of that shit that went on, at least on camera. So, I don't know.

I'm just kind of generally sick of it. It's like, I get that you got yourself out of a pickle. Congratulations. But nobody owes you anything. I'm at your daughter's fucking graduation give me a beer thanks yeah so uh so then this is all happening there's like breakfast session at lisa's and we have yet another attempt for brandy and joyce to reconcile and so the way it begins is brandy sits down and says listen i have three things i have to say to you and i'd like to say them before you speak. So she says these three things about, like, I'm not a racist.

I say stupid things, and you said this to me, blah, blah, blah. And then Joyce starts to speak, and Brandy shuts her down and starts accusing Joyce of talking at her all the time. That drove me absolutely crazy. I hate when people do that. Yes, but Joyce is the same thing. Brandy's thing took five seconds, and then Joyce started her I Am Black monologue again. Like, listen, this is not 12 Years a Slave. Cut it out.

Stop acting like you're Oprah in The Color Purple. Stop it. It is not the same thing. Joyce, stop it. And so I can see why Brandy, you know, I think part of the reason that people do still like Brandy against all odds is because she does speak for us, kind of. It's like, Joyce needs

to just be told to shut the fuck up. She's so obnoxious. When she starts talking about that she is black, that's really annoying. Or she was bullied. Like you're a fucking Miss America or whatever the hell you are. Shut up. You know, I don't care whether or not she's bullied or not. But I think, though, that Brandy was such a heinous bitch to her.

I mean, here's this woman hosting them, quote unquote host, and we know it's Bravo. And Brandy keeps calling her Yoice. And she's like, listen, please stop calling me that because, honestly, as a kid, people really made fun of me. And they called me Yoice. That was the way they'd make fun of me. And I think that's like a reasonable thing to say to someone please stop calling me that and then brandy keeps doing it and then says it's an old fat like lady's name or whatever old fat pig brandy's and brandy's a drunk like i just don't understand what brandy is saying back is totally

right but what i don't understand is i think what really pissed me off is that like it's such a stupid thing and why brandy was so adamant about not apologizing for it for so long really annoyed me. And this whole racist thing, unfortunately, I think confused the matter because that's really not what it was about. I'm just like, why can't you apologize for something? You were so blatantly in the wrong. This is basically like when Kyle and Kim were bitches to Brandy at game night back in season two. It's like they were so obviously wrong. Like, why can't you see you were being that bitch to joyce you know and it really pissed me off that it's like so simple we didn't have to go through all these scenes over and over again just

apologize you stupid lady yeah i'm sick of listening to joyce and i don't feel bad for i like seeing brandy kind of bully her but it is true brandy is kind of bullying her and you know sitting starting that whole dinner with well we have a couple of friends in common and they don't speak highly of you like exactly it's like you know i don't feel bad for brandy at all and so i'm glad to see joyce giving it back i just don't like joyce you know saying she's black over and over i find that highly offensive and talking about bullied because people called you joyce bitch you know what bullying is i mean this podcast is getting dramatic enough today, so I won't go there.

No, you go there. It's a very special podcast. It is not some pretty skinny girl being made fun of by, like, cholas. Okay, bitch? It's like getting beat up every day of your life, all right? It's not, like, some little thing that, like, a beautiful skinny girl

got made fun of one day in school. Bullying is a serious fucking thing. Shut the fuck up. And you know what? Being black is a really serious thing too those people still have to deal with like years and years of history that you know yeah i mean it's like to just say that you're black and like take upon black history because puerto ricans like have a little black and i'm shut the fuck up you fucking idiot i hope brandy does knock her fucking teeth down her throat i'm over her. Yeah, but you know, I will say this, though.

I mean, I can't stand the overuse of the term bullying. But, you know, at the same time, I wasn't, like, as a kid, I wasn't, like, hardcore bullied or anything. But I was definitely made fun of. And I wouldn't say, like, the way I was made fun of compares at all to, like, a kid getting beaten up.

I never was, like, pants. I never had, like, a wedgie or anything like that. Like that's like the classic bullying. It was never like that. But, you know, when you're made fun of, like you feel like shit. Like I love, by the way, that I'm talking about this on a podcast where we essentially make fun of people. Well, this is what happens. You make fun of people.

The cycle continues. So, yeah, but we're making fun of old stupid hags who marry rich guys and go on TV to get attention because they're attention whores. We were just going to school. We had to, by law. But when you're a kid and you're made fun of, it really does hurt. And it does stick with you. And I actually, whether she was bullied with a capital B or just made fun of or teased, I respect Joyce saying, please don't call me joyce like it's a very simple request that's fine but if joyce was as classy as she thinks she is she would just ignore

brandy and say like that girl is classless like i'm not sure i think she's framing match with some drunk idiot i think i avoid him every christmas and i'm not going to get into him on national tv to get a little attention i mean this is a woman she's trying to start a fight with lisa about getting her hair flicked at her well listen i think that's what i think that's what yoice did actually in palm spring she was like try to take the higher road and afterwards producers probably like um what the fuck is wrong with you we hired you for a reason get back in there and this time like don't come out to one of you guys is dead you know like or kyle sat on the phone with her and brought it up over and over again yeah exactly so um oh this conversation has gotten so deep for what we're talking about i mean it was basically another hour of vagina waxing although we should visit kim richard's speech to her

daughter because that was pretty amazing let's hear what like can you maybe uh re and re uh recreate it for us you guys thank you so much for coming. Kim is my daughter. She is such a pretty girl. You guys, have you seen that necklace? Hey, have you seen my necklace? Am I wearing a necklace? Hey, has anybody seen my necklace? Hey, here it is.

Thank God. Kingsley! I was just even talking about. And what was that whole thing about? Well, I wanted to have a Coachella party, but then Kathy went to Buckingham Palace. What? I know. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold,

a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success.

If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app

or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about

when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others.

Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful.

What is the queen doing with the Hilton family in that castle? Isn't the queen's reputation terrible enough without spreading scabies to whoever comes up? She was just going to buckingham palace is probably the name of some casino off in like upstate new york buckingham palace paris was spinning there yeah um also let's talk about for one second how hot kim's ex-husband is oh my

goodness oh my god yeah that guy was hot what was he how did she land that that's like that was serious yeah he was like kind of rob low right yeah he was very very attractive he's a dilf as they'd call him yeah he was really cute i felt bad that she she let him go yeah so why don't we move on to lighter fare uh in the form of vanderpump rules and yay so wait here's a news update in case none of you guys listened to Banter with Ben and Lisa, my other podcast, which you should also be listening to. I went to Sir last week for dinner, for happy hour, with Lisa Timmons, because it was her birthday, and others. And guess who was our waitress?

Sheena! Sheena! Azusa's finest Sheena. Okay, so here's the rundown. Here's my experience at CERN. We get there. Everyone in the lounge is old. They're all old tourists because the BCS, which is a football game,

there's a football game that was the night before at the Rose Bowl. And so it was like these were tourists that were in to see that. And they were like, oh, let's go see that. Let's go see CERN where Vanderpump Rules is. So it was all these, like, old tourists in there who were, like, trying very hard to look cool. So as a result, they were sort of, like, standing around like mannequins, you know, with, like, a hand on their hip and sort of, like, looking around slowly. Which, by the way, is not unlike my standard pose. But it was just funny to see all these old people.

And they were, like, taking pictures of Sheena. And there's a really hot bartender that works there who's not on the show. I mean, this guy, hotter than Jax. In my opinion, hotter than Jax, hotter than Tom. He was, like, he had, like, a beard and glasses. It was, like, it's worth the trip to Sir just to see this guy. Oh, so he's bringing a little East Side into Sir. Yeah.

No, it was, like, no, he didn't look that East Side. It was just, it was sexy. into sir yeah no it was like no he didn't he didn't look that he's not it was just it was sexy um so anyway um he served me a uh a glass of of sparkling wine and there was a chip in the glass so he gave me a new glass which i appreciated that he saw it before he handed to me what i didn't appreciate was that my new stemware was totally dirty and in fact that was a recurring theme with all of our stemware was that most of it was like had like thumbprints on it or like we're sticky oh no that was kind of gross but um well maybe that show will do so well that they'll make a spin-off about the dishwashers in the back and you can find out what the fuck is going on back

there yeah exactly it's called like guillermo's guys so um uh guillermo was there by the way he was being the dj and we and tom was bartender um and then. He was being the DJ. And Tom was bartender. And then Sheena was our waitress. And the truth is that she was actually very attentive. I actually felt she was a really good waitress. It's shocking. But they were very, very attentive. And they were a little mixed up.

At one point, they brought us two vodka sodas by accident instead of one. And then Sheena was like, oh, well, you can just have it. So I appreciated that. It was actually a fun happy hour, so good for her. And she said that all the girls are getting along right now, but we should wait until the season finale because shit's going to get real. Oh, my God, even realer? Well, unless someone slits Katie's throat, I don't even want to know.

Katie's horse face number one, right? No, Katie's horse face number one right no katie's horse face number two oh sorry it's horse face number one is kristin you guys like i have to know or like tom and ariana like i like i just have to know like i have to know like seriously seriously like i mean i have a feeling this was gonna happen like basically this is a guy i thought i was gonna be marrying and now like every time i do anything with him i have to think of like whether or not he's been cheating on me like seriously seriously like i'm sorry but like everyone's hotter it's her sorry yeah so this week is still stassi's birthday which is hilarious in couple this is you know what like this is just this show this show's a real gem it's like a gem assuming you can make a gem out of pure feces it's like someone took some hard feces and molded it into a gem like you can

squeeze that feces so hard that it turns into cubics. Yeah, you know, it's like you can't put lipstick on a pig or something like that. Apparently you can. You can put a lot of lipstick on a pig. Turns out, if you put a whole bunch of lipstick on a pig, you basically make the pig really slutty. It's like a great pig. Yeah, it's still a pig, but at the pig really slutty it's like a it's like a great pig yeah it's still a pig but at least it's making an effort it's like it's like a pig that you just sort of like

want to look at and laugh at and you feel better about yourself after you look at the pig so you're right this was back at the birthday party i think the last episode ended at this like at the dinner party where katie went off crying because you know her boyfriend had poured a drink on her the night before. Naturally. As it happens. As one happens. So what I loved is that Katie runs off crying and Stassi then gets

mad. Stassi goes storming through this resort finds Katie and is like, you left! You left! You didn't even order a drink or an appetizer. You left! How could you do that to me? It's my birthday! Like, I didn't realize that part of, like, the Stassi experience was the enjoyment of watching everyone order an appetizer. Yeah, that they're gonna be paying for later.

Yeah, exactly. Like, I actually was with Katie. Like, wouldn't you rather have the woman who's crying just leave the table and be done with it? God, she, um, that was hilarious because, of course, Stassi, she can't just let someone else have a fit and be done with it god she um that was hilarious because of course stassi she can't just let someone else have a fit and be like well fuck her it's my birthday let's get drunk she has to be like i'm gonna find her it is my birthday that's it the party's over i'm going to bed this is over i'm done yeah jeez and the only reason why she went to bed was because she just wanted everyone to come up to her and like pull out her comfort and be like no Stassi you're like the best like we want you to come party no no no no no but I loved

how when Stassi was yelling at Katie she's like you are selfish and you only think about yourself says the girl who is like complaining about her party like not only that the girl who makes everybody travel to another country just to celebrate her fucking birthday yeah exactly the one who last week said like y'all should be thanking me because if i

wasn't born today none of you would be in mexico right now it's like jesus's birthday only like we get wasted nobody pretends they're a fucking virgin thank me i don't know she goes what's the point of trying to be a really good person it just doesn't make sense like i was like trying to be a really good person i don't know when the trying ever started when was the trying happened i love that i don't even know i'm trying to be a good person because i should just still be a bitch because it doesn't change anything so that was amazing um another great part was Jax. Yes. Oh, this is so, I mean, I just love, we are getting to see how horrible Jax is. Like he gets worse every week and I just love it.

It's hilarious. It's really stupid. Truly stupid. So Jax is like, oh, hey guys, I'm going to go talk to Stassi because it's her birthday. I want to give her attention. And Stassi, of course, is like, well, if you, you know, if you want to make me happy on my birthday, you'll tell me the truth and admit that you told me about Tom sleeping with that girl in Vegas. And he's like, okay, I did. And she's like, no, no, that's a lie. That's a lie.

She's like, Jax, that's a lie. That's a lie. Jax, okay, yeah, yeah, it happened. So, of course, Stassi immediately on her birthday, she doesn't want to be ruined, goes up and tells Horseface, number one, that her boyfriend did, in fact, cheat with her. And Jack's just spread it. Which, by the way, this is the greatest birthday gift you can give to Stassi, is for her to go and destroy people's lives and make people cry. So this is just like, she should be, even though she's not on the show she should be on the poster for the new season of glee because that is a face filled with glee i mean that is the happiest i think i've

ever seen her so well what i loved though was that um then the next day sheena well of course there was some there was kristen one crunch but then the next day sheena comes into the men's room or i'm not the bathroom but like where the where the guys are sleeping and everything and she totally blows up jax's spot and jax is like telling us like why'd you have to do that why'd you do that but i loved it she was basically like well you like started world war three because you told all the girls what i said about them in the van so i'm gonna come and blow up your spot and i was i was like you know that's another high five to sheena first she's a good waitress, and then she does this.

I was very proud of her. Yeah, Sheena doesn't seem like an awful person. She's still, like, awful, but she's not as awful. As awful, yeah. And I love that when Sheena asks, when she asks Jax, like, what he said to Stassi before, he's like, I didn't tell her anything. I'm like, you're such an idiot. You are such a total idiot. Like, he is a mimbo or a himbo, whatever they call it.

Yeah, he's just going to deny, deny, deny. Even in front of Stassi's face, which is so hilarious. And even though cameras just totally caught him. Yeah, exactly. And then I love he goes, the way he sort of deals with it, he goes, well, look, if something was taken mis out of context, then I'll take it. Because I'll tell you one thing. I hate when things are taken mis out of context. Because I'll tell you one thing.

I hate when things are taken Miss Out of Context. I wish Katie had heard that because, you know, she knows all about conjugations of verbiage. It should be like a new drag queen name, Miss Out of Context. I know. She'll be like, hey, everybody, do not enter. Like, what? You'll never know what she's talking about so then so then all these idiots go on a booze cruise a stationary booze cruise um on a pirate ship and my favorite

part of it was that they're all partying and everything and at one point i don't know if you caught this ronnie the cameras cut to tom looking sad because he's in the dog house he's like sad and he looks over at a pelican and they cut to the pelican and the pelican looks away and it cuts back to tom and tom's like all sad it's like not even the pelican wants to have anything the dog is like squawk why don't you tell him about ariana poor tom and it looks like next week we find out that he really did sleep with her because like it looks like ariana's sitting on the toilet or something while Kristen's like, you whore! You slept with my boyfriend! And she's like, I'm not going to throw him under the bus. Like, oh, no.

First of all, can you let the woman pee? I know. You know, Ariana, though, I don't even care if she slept with Tom because she's so much better than all these girls. She's, like, smarter. She's nicer. She's cooler. She's a better employee. Yeah, she's pretty badass.

I don't care. She'll always win. Yeah, yeah. She'll win just because she can argue. the rest of them are like well her only argument is to be dismissive she's like yeah so like whatever get out of my face and then like chris would be like seriously seriously like i don't even i can't even talk to you right now. Like, seriously? I mean, somebody get drunk. Well, I love that Stassi, I mean, Jax's revenge on Stassi for ruining his trip was to bring all these 20-year-olds onto the boat. Yeah.

Which is hilarious, and she immediately kicks him off. Yeah. And then he brings them to the bar later again, and they just ignore them again. then he ends up fucking like some 18 year old oh it looks like a that looks like a little stassi minus the chin implant well well personally i liked when he tried to bring the 20 girls onto the boat the 20 girls who are clearly rounded up by the producers and i like that like you know all you know stassi's minions like come to her side i love that kristin oh it's face number one she's like she goes up to this to the quote-unquote skank she's like it's a private boat ride it's a private boat ride like first of all the boat's not riding and it's like not private at all actually and there's like three people on it so if you think this is a good party you better check yourself horse face it's a private boat

ride i can just hear down in marina del rey just being a bouncer no you can't come down here it's a different boat, different yacht. Oh, those people are so fucking stupid. I love it. I was laughing the entire episode this time. Yeah, oh, me too. And in fact, because there are also so many great quotes, if you really took them out of context, you'd be like, how is this quote even possible?

Like when Stassi said, my undies are going to sail around Mexico on an old pirate ship. And Stassi said, my undies are going to sail around Mexico on an old pirate ship. Or later when they went to the bar. And Stassi goes, Jax, we didn't want to hang out with you and your skanks on my fun pirate ship. But then you thought things would be different on Squid Row? Oh, my God. What are these people talking about? What are they saying? Last week was still my favorite of this.

Just watching that cast react to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast. I think that that was probably one of my favorite Vanderpump Rules moments ever. I am looking up right now couples. By the way, also, I have to say, I also liked how after Stassi just basically bitched out Jax at Squid Row, that then in his interview, he's like, well, the fact that that she's gonna yell at me shows me that she still kind of cares i'm like you really are very stupid jacks very very stupid yeah he's gonna show he cares with like 10 fucking idiots on his arm so so the big uh by the way the big thing the way the episode ended was that um so kristen is furious at tom because it's been confirmed by Jax

that Tom had told Tom told Jax that he'd slept with Ariana and we don't know if that's true, that's just what Jax is saying Jax had made it up just to get himself in with Stassi, so Kristen is now hitting on Tom and says that she's going to move out and this is it, they're going to break up so what she does is she gets drunk at

Squid Row and crawls into Tom's bed and wakes up in bed with him and then the girls are really pissed and they're yelling at her and uh i actually kind of i understood it like i would be pissed too like if you're gonna like complain and cry all weekend and go back into his bed it's just like shut the fuck up bitch and get out of our lives yeah for real but they all do it yeah they all do it i mean i mean stassi at least really did break up with jacks yeah but then it just became her complaining about frank i mean it's like the same thing these women

one thing i i really do wonder is this this what what has happened to women because frankly we should have way more gay guys on our team if this is what women are really like because they are awful they're awful all they do is bitch out their boyfriends for no reason over and over again. Yeah, I was thinking that. If Kristen does actually break up with Tom and she's single again, what would she be like as a date? Would a guy want to date her? Could she be charming?

Could she be fun? Would she be nice? Isn't this show just ruining Kristen for all future lovers? Is that why she's clinging on to tom i think that she realizes that she got a guy who's way prettier than her and that's never gonna happen again i mean unless she gets pregnant and how about her making an ultimatum to lisa like either either like either ariana either fire ariana or i'm gonna quit well why the hell didn't lisa say, bye, darling, click?

Yeah, any boss would fire her. Yeah, why didn't she just get fired? Like, is she really that important to the show? She doesn't do anything but stomp around with the horse face and cry. Seriously? Like, I cannot work with Ariana. Like, seriously?

Seriously? Yeah, she needs to be hurt. she needs to drown in a hot tub she needs to be run over by a pirate ship so what else happened on this show nothing else okay let's move on because i i'm starting to hate it now i'm don't hate it it's like the best it's my favorite show um but i do want to be a drag queen called Miss Out of Context. Real Housewives of Atlanta real quick, even though we probably don't have that much to say about it. Because, again, that show is just so entertaining to me that I don't really even write down any notes or anything. I just laugh.

There actually was not really anything that happened. I mean, Kenya's dad came into town. And he was like, any things that women shouldn't tell men what to do. Oh, that was amazing. He's like, well tell men what to do. Oh, that was amazing. He's like, well, this your car? Oh, this car. Oh, this your house? Oh, this house.

Oh, this your living? Who tastes this? This house is disgusting. And then he has the nerve to tell NeNe Leakes, oh, woman, don't tell a man what to do you are lucky you haven't met nini leaks yeah exactly um the other thing is that kenya and todd got into a little fight because he wants to take a job which means that he won't be able to uh produce uh her play that's going to go on the chitlin circuit as they say so can you start to cry she's like she's like now see riley really likes to play but like don't be the one staying don't let the play be the one that's keeping you here if you want to go out

there like see i don't think you should leave if you don't want to leave leave i felt so bad for her because she's saying don't, don't let me be the reason that you stay when he's not even considering staying. That wasn't even part of the conversation. He was just like, well, I'd love to help you out, but no one knows what they're doing. So I might take this job somewhere else and I'm going to be in India and Pakistan for a year. It's not like Candy Burris is the next coming of Edwardward albee here so i think i think todd's got the right idea or even the next coming of tyler perry i know because that's how he started with those big musicals i know um so that's do you ever remember those were you still on the east coast when he

had all of those well i mean i never saw them but i knew of them when they were when they would always be like those local commercials and they're like big mama goes to church and it's like these big revival shows and it was like it would be like a painting of a house and then like everything would go on folding chairs in front of the house and that became tyler perry i mean the only way the the only reason why i knew who tyler perry was is because there's this uh actor named terrell carter who has appeared in a bunch of his plays and Terrell Carter's like super super super hot and like I like I came across my on some site where they were like you know check out Terrell Carter he's hot whatever and so then I of course stalked him and I found oh he's in a bunch of these plays by like this guy named Tyler

Perry and I looked at some video clips and the plays look so stupid and so bad and then of course Tyler Perry became Tyler Perry wow and Terrell Carterrell Carter, well, he's still hot, I have to say. Well, luckily, Tyler Perry could be successful because he didn't have Kenya's father. Yeah. Who made this play? This is stupid. Next, you're going to make a cat sing for three hours. This is stupid.

What a terrible play. I know. Well, it sounds like Kenya's dad has a good taste. Yeah. The other thing that happened, the only other real thing that happened was that uh nini told portia that she was a bad friend at at at cynthia's sister's trunk show meh i couldn't bring myself to care really yeah it was it was like it was such a stupid thing it was like shocker nini's making someone cry yeah exactly and and mel and by the way i think

i do think it's actually shitty for that woman to like show up at cynthia's doorstep and be like oh guess what guess what then cynthia i'm gonna be here for two months so you know just get ready for me i'm like no it doesn't work that way mel even if you are sisters i'm not buying any of that and if that even really did happen you know that cynthia told her to come to get back at her husband passive aggressively for spending all her money on a car that he didn't earn. Exactly. So, yeah, I don't buy that. But for whatever reason, like, I really don't ever care

to talk about it much, but, God, it's funny. I love that one so much. I'll just laugh my ass off. And Portia buying a house is hilarious. Yeah. And then Candy and Phaedra

getting revenge on that fucking chauvinist by talking for five minutes about how tiny his dick is. Oh, yeah. Good for them. Yeah, that was pretty amazing. I wish I'd written it down.

Phaedra had some fantastic line about how small his dick was. I forget what it was. Because that guy was an asshole for him. You know, he was clearly just covering his tracks. He did not want Monique to know that he had feelings for them or something like that. He was like, well, you know, I had a bunch of girls. And you're just part of the team. I'm like, no, no, no. And even if that's true, that's like,

why would, that's not like a good thing to be like admitting. Yeah. To your, to the mother of your children. And also he basically just admitted that everything they said was true. So I don't, I don't understand what his point was, but now everybody in America is talking about how small your dick is. So well done. Yeah, exactly. And the funny thing is that I don't think Phaedra and Candy care. Like they weren't like trying to be like, we used to be something. They're just like, oh yeah,

we, you know, we hit that and you know, whatever. Like they don't care. That's like in the past, 20 years ago. Well,

next week we get a little taste of some other woman coming into the scene and talking about how Todd is an opportunist. I'm looking forward to this. That'll be good. And then trying to deny it all a Jax right after she said it. So that should be good because Candy's going to break it down. So that should be some fun times. That'll be really good.

So now we can finally get to what we've been dying to talk about this whole – well, first of all, no, wait. Before we get to that, 100 Days of Summer began, this new show on Bravo about people living in Chicago. And I was just going to ignore it because we heard it was terrible. But someone on our Facebook page was like, oh, you guys have to watch this show. So I downloaded it. Oh no,

no, no, no. Okay. Terrible. There's a gay guy with a fake chin. Who's trying to be Jeff Lewis, but he's terrible.

And he rolls his head while he talks and like waves his finger. And he has penis art. Like his artwork is like of all these penises hugging and stuff. So he's terrible. And Bravo is trying to carry on, carry on the tradition of horrible gays. So F you for that. Um,

the black guy says things like sometimes in Chicago is the, she isn't it? No. So black people, black men are now being ruined by Bravo. So thanks. Bravo's attacking again. Yeah.

Um, what else did I have to say here? You know what? There's like a really midgety, dewy guy who thinks he's really hot and he's a club promoter, which, hi, club promoting isn't hot. That's the job like 20-year-olds get when they first move to LA

and they show guys tits and get them free drinks at bars and make like $5 an hour. So I don't know how that's become a huge career, but apparently it is for this guy. It's kind like a george costanza who does push-ups and the show's basically about how he's really how all these girls want to have sex with him and i basically never want to go to chicago yeah um it's a terrible show i saw a preview of it like a half an hour preview back in december and i was like this is just, these are just very annoying people. I don't care about them. Silence.

And I'm not gonna... The sound of silence. Oh, did we drop? Hello? The show is so bad that it just completely stopped our podcast. Oh, no. I'm still here. Okay, so you saw a 30-minute preview of it, and what now? Oh, no. It was just awful. Just awful, awful,

awful. No, we're not gonna... Oh, it was really bad. We are not talking about this show. This is over. This is over. 100 days of summer gets 100 seconds of podcast time, and those seconds have expired now. Well, there's a girl who looks kind of like Gretchen, and she's like,

no one expects me to be smart because I'm hot, but, you know, there's not many stupid people in Mensa. But then it's like you look at her face, like she looks like she's going to look like Gretchen, but then she really looks like Vicky. And it's like, is this how it is in Chicago? Because. She's like, now excuse me while I go get my vagina waxed. We're going to take a pole stripping class.

Get out of here. That's so stupid. Terrible. Boo. Won't be back. Bye. Now, a show that I am loving right right out of the gate is blood sweat and heels which i actually was not going to watch but it got such huge premiere

numbers that i thought you know what i'm gonna give it a look and i'm so glad i did i am loving this show do you like it ronnie yes and i wasn't going to watch it either i just thought oh god like i was i'm still mad at the new at Atlanta, so I wasn't going to watch it. But it is so good. It's really funny. And I love the group of women that got together. Because it is a totally unrepresented, I think, totally group on TV. I mean, it's like a group of black women who do not need men, and they have jobs.

It's like unlike women's shows on TV. Yeah, and actually, I would actually say that most of the cast seems sort of intelligent. Definitely the blogger, Demetria, she seems smart. I mean, she's a little bullheaded, but she's smart. And I'm actually really on her side with all these things. Geneva, who has sort of a very unfortunate weave going on. She actually seems smart too. Which one's that now? She's the one with like the,

she looks like what's her face, that comedian Lonnie Love in a bad weave sort of, you know. What was her plot line? Geneva's the one she got into a fight with Demetria at the dinner party. Which one? Oh, the one that they say looks like Wesley Snipes. I died because she really does look like Wesley Snipes in drag. So there's her. which one oh the one that she's a writer she's a writer they say looks like wesley snipes i died

because she really does look like snipes and drag so there's her i think that she actually she's good i like her too yeah her mom is a sex therapist yeah um and then there's also there's melissa ford who was a video vixen who she doesn't seem like she's like that smart but i'm actually the worst but i'm actually finding, I'm actually enjoying her storyline. Because you know what? If she were living in Atlanta, she would be parading around as if she were a real estate agent. As if she were excellent at all this shit. And she's not.

Whereas in this show, she sucks at being a real estate agent. And everyone's telling her, you're sucking at this. And she's like, I've got no money. And I'm like, I kind of feel like that's refreshing. As opposed to typical bullshit we always see on the New atlanta real house of atlanta or marriage medicine where people acting like they're like donald trump you know well i think it's funny because she's like oh i was in all these videos and they made me rich and i'm a star my ex-boyfriend was low right did she say her ex-boyfriend was low rider low rider flow rider now most of all was like sort

of please tell me that there's not a rapper named Flo Rida, because I'll just have to call up and stop rapping. Flo Rida, Flo Rida. No, she, I mean, Melissa Ford was like a name. Like, I definitely, I wouldn't have recognized her, but I've definitely heard the name Melissa Ford, you know. So she's like, yeah, well, I don't want to just be a dumb model in music videos anymore. I need to move up in the world. I'm going to be on a reality show. Yeah, she's like, I'm going to be a dumb model in real estate yeah that's a that's a slightly higher than lateral move but yeah exactly and

then of course we have um daisy daisy is the one who i think seems stupid she is of all them she seems very stupid now which one is that she's the one who wears a lot of yellow and like garish pink lipstick all the time she oh god the gail kingabe. Gayle King wannabe who's like... Trying to look exactly like Gayle King. She even bought a Gayle King wig, and it is a total wig. Like, she's shown us that it's a wig. And she wears this really bright lipstick, and then she makes people go to brunch in

Brooklyn to have these, like, fake talk shows where she gets on a microphone with shitty brunch that everybody complains about, because all she does is serve watery, aggressive mac and cheese. And then she asks people relationship questions and passes the mic around which was the plot for both episodes but meanwhile but meanwhile though she's also like you know on the question whether women could lead the world she was uh she was like no they can't because like she's like a man should be able to lead and if a man can't like he's weak and like that's the man's role is to

be strong and the woman's role is to like support him and i was like this is so backwards and then the other girl brie brie who seems actually also very smart um although she said last week that women are not suited to rule the world which i did not agree with because she said they were too emotional i'm like listen do you know what it's like to be a man? Like men might not be crying, but they get horny as hell. You do not want men making decisions when they're horny. And they're always horny. Yeah, men make laws because like another man has a nicer car. And so they're going to stick it to that senator by like fucking a whore and then passing a health care law.

Like shut up. It's like men are worse. Yeah, men are emotional in just different ways. So then she clarified this week in a mature way, in a mature discussion i was like i can't believe this is happening at bravo she's like look i think women could rule the world but the real the realistically it's a world that's run by men and it's like the men call the shots but then you could counter being like well why can't women call the shots like women should be able to call the shots i don't even get into it so stupid yeah that's a that's a backwards way of thinking that she had. I don't agree with her,

but I do like that she, you know, she made an effort to do it in a mature way, I guess, but yeah, she's still an idiot. And that whole can a woman rule the world thing, who do you think's been running the world? I mean, Bill Clinton, all Bill Clinton was doing was sticking his dick in things. You know

Hillary took care of all of that. Obamacare is just Hillary care repackaged for the new age. I mean, Hillary, ask Vince Foster if Hillary is a good leader. You can't because of his suicide. Wow, look at that. Hillary takes care of business. Hillary will kill a bitch if she doesn't get her way.

Okay? Women can't rule the world. Women can kill your ass and make it look like a suicide. Do not doubt. So the last the last cast member of course that we have to talk about is the breakout star the one who is the most hilarious it's a tranny drag queen but actually a woman and that's micah who has a chinchilla named rocky named after brock obama that she i believe serves chardonnay to the chardonnay or cabernet whatever yes, she lets her chinchilla drink wine.

This woman is amazing. She basically takes pride in being a full-blown alcoholic. Yeah. And actually is having fun with it, which makes it nicer to watch. Because it's not like Brandy, where Brandy's just a mess and an idiot and doesn't know that she's an alcoholic. This woman knows it and embraces it. She is like a weird Mollylly shannon character sort of like like swooping around her harlem apartment you know occasionally going down to brooklyn i mean

everything that she does is crazy but it's hilarious just the way that the um the season premiere her first scene in the season premiere was her lying in bed and making this weird song she's like and got some biscuits and gravy. Biscuits and gravy. Biscuits and gravy. And she's like, her legs going around. I was like, oh, my God. She's like, I got some turkey bacon. And I like that when she's describing herself,

she's always like kind of off to the side, leaning over. And her head's kind of like, you know, over. Because she's always drunk and drinking wine, even when she's being interviewed. And I like that she says, don't dim my light and don't put me in a box. I like what she says. She's like, people always say when I'm giving wine to my chinchilla, people are like, you killed the chinchilla, you killed the chinchilla. Well, guess what?

Well, I killed a human too. I'm like, she's right. It's not good for humans either okay and i like that she's obviously like mixed and i like that like sometimes she gets really white and sometimes she gets really black and it goes back and forth i love it yes it's kind of offensive because whenever she's trying to make a point she's white but then whenever she wants to like be sassy she's black it's like that's not fair like but she also gets like she also gets like classic drunk eyes like her it's like they come like halfway like but she also gets like she also gets like classic drunk eyes

like her it's like they come like halfway down and then she slashes over and she sort of stares at you it's just like the most like blatant advertisement like yes i am drunk right now yeah yeah i definitely appreciate her drunkenness she's very committed and i think it's really fun and she says a lot of really funny things i like all the women that blogger chick is hilarious okay so for those of you who didn't watch let's just tell you what happened so gail king fake gail king had this brunch okay so everybody has to show up and it's in brooklyn which all new yorkers know oh hell no and that also goes for this washington heights bitch who's the drunk we're talking about you don't just invite me to washington heights i mean that is a trek at least it's not over a bridge like you know brooklyn is but i mean inviting making people go

to brooklyn for brunch not cool first of all so everybody's pissed when they get over there because there's bad food then it's terrible food and then she's asking all these invasive questions and they're not even like good questions they're like is it okay for women to snoop on their man you know like could you snoop and she's passing around the mic and people are like, yeah, it's okay. It's not okay or whatever. And so, of course, our women are like, well, yeah, a woman has to snoop on a man to know if he's cheating. Because cheating is as natural to a man as scratching their balls. They can't help it.

They got to scratch them. I was a little offended by that. I was like, no, no, it's not true. That is not true, and it's so offensive. Maybe the minute you go on the tour. Yeah, like, do you date me? Because I'm a notorious cheat. I'm the worst.

I cheat all the time. But it's easier for gays. Like, gays are passed around like hors d'oeuvres every weekend. You can't really help it. And a blowjob's not really cheating. We learned that from the Clinton. That's the second Clinton reference, but it's true. So that started the blogger getting all pissed off because she's like no you should never have to snoop on a man if you think your man's cheating you should break up with him you

shouldn't be with someone you think is cheating on you right which i would love to agree with her but of course i'm going to check your phone you better password protect that shit because you know i'll be going through that right right so Right. And so all the women are like, you're crazy. And then they all talk about how they were cheated on and they found out their man cheated because they went through the phone. So Blogger goes and writes a blog about how stupid all these women are. Because Demetria is like very much like she's a feminist. She's very self-possessed. And she also is like, these people are ridiculous and I'm going to write about it, which is what I like about her.

She seems very smart to me. Yeah, so everybody gets pissed off. Well, really, all she did was write what they said. And by the way, they're all like, I can't believe you published our private conversations. I'm like, ladies, are you aware that there is a camera crew from Bravo documenting everything? Like, what is wrong with you? And you were at a brunch with a microphone. Like, it was not a private conversation.

It was doubly not private exactly so she didn't apparently diss anybody she didn't say anybody was stupid or whatever discussed it and used as a jumping off point for her thoughts on things yeah she just said what what they said and then they got all pissed off at her for repeating what they said well you said it i mean who cares at least you're you would think a reality show a reality show whore would be happy because that's kind of what you do anyway. Right. You just say stupid shit and it goes on TV. Maybe they were mad that they didn't have the Internet rights. I don't know what the deal is, but it was really funny watching her stick up for herself. And now she's the big villain on the show and she's actually the only smart one. Yeah, no, I actually am like, I don't think she's I mean, they're trying to make her look like the villain.

But I'm like, I'm on I'm on Demetrius' side. Oh, yeah, me too. Because there's no way I'm taking Daisy's side, especially after she showed up like two hours late for a date with a hot, hot, hot man. Who she, that date, by the way, if you guys haven't watched the episode, the sequence when Daisy goes on her date truly is a date from hell. It was really a terrible date. And the guy was a total asshole. But, oh, my God, he was so hot. And I almost feel like he deserved to be an asshole because she was so late.

Well, she wasn't, like, 15 minutes late. I mean, she was supposed to meet him at a charity event, like, two hours earlier. Yeah. Totally didn't show up. And then shows up to get her free dinner, which, of course, she ended up paying for. But it would have been a free dinner. And she shows up late and then she's like, well, that's me. I'm fashion.

I'm in fashion. So I'm fashionably late. And he's like, yeah, you're in a wig. Your dress is too tight. Your makeup's too bright. And you cannot treat me like this. Yeah. And the thing was this.

At first, I thought it was like, OK, this is a classic, like, bravo date. It's going to be a little rocky at first, but then it'll be okay. But it actually just continued to go, like, down further and further. Then he, like, insulted her. He was like, she was helping somebody at the menu. He was like, oh, do you work here? And she was like, oh, okay. And then he was just, he was extremely frosty.

I mean, he was really mean. And then the food finally comes and like she basically knocks his plate onto onto his lap and and because i don't know if you noticed her plate she took up the whole table with her plate so his was like on the corner so like it fell onto his lap and then he made her cry and then he made her pay for the whole thing which honestly i'm like it was really it was really obnoxious of him. But at the same time, I'm kind of like, you know, if someone shows up two hours late, first of all, he shouldn't have shown up. At that point, he should have been like, peace out.

But if someone shows up that late, that's sort of like my dream to make someone, like to really make someone feel bad about that on a date. And I think that he did a great job of that. Well, he made her cry. And then he just taunted her while she was crying. He's like, don't mess up your makeup. I was like, oh, my God. He was being a dick. He was.

He was a controlling asshole. I feel like even if she had showed up on time, he would have been a controlling jerk, and she shouldn't be dating him. I mean, the truth is she needs to be dating Oprah. We all know it. Well, the thing is this. When you're as hot as that guy is, you have the luxury of being able to be dick to a woman because you know like there are going to be a million women lining up i mean that guy this isn't just me because you know everyone knows i like black guys whatever this is he was objectively like crazy hot yeah he was hot but what a pig i mean he became unattractive in two seconds

he was unattractive but i couldn't be like oh wow you're really hot yeah i hate i hate that kind of guy just that controlling kind of guy. It's like he's going to put you down until you, you know. Like, he already made his point. He made his point. Yeah, I think you're right that he should have just left. I would have left. I'm not going to be there two hours.

I would have just, you know, gone on Grindr and then, you know, gotten some McDonald's. I mean, that's a better night anyway. And they have to listen to your stupid stories about Oprah. Yeah. All right. So what else? So we got Demetria, who's a better night anyway. And they have to listen to your stupid stories about Oprah. Yeah. All right. So what else? So we got Demetria, who's ready to kick some ass. We got Drunky.

This show just looks like it's going to get better and better. I mean, the alcoholic goes full-blown alcoholic. Yeah. There's some great lines. Everyone's just, like, funny. Every single one of them is funny. Yeah. It's going to be.

I think this is going to be a really good show. They've got a hit on their hands with this one. At least for us. I mean, the ones we like usually get canceled. But. This one is doing well in the ratings. Yeah. Hopefully this one will keep going because I'm really enjoying it.

And then Real Housewives of New York is coming back. I know it's not for like two months, but I'm still so excited. Yeah. I don't watch that Jeff Lewis show. What else is coming back? Anything else that we have to watch this week? Or is it just the regulars? Just the regulars.

Right on. Well, I think that means that we've reached the end of our podcast then. I feel like it. Is there anything else you wanted to get in there? I just want to announce that I'm going to do a few high kicks and feed some wine to my chinchilla. Hell yeah. Bueller has some of my vodka. He doesn't like it very much. The other night he booped. Oh, no.

Alright, well, do you want to close us out, Ronnie? Sure! You can find us on Facebook. Come talk to us during the week. Thank you for everybody who's telling us stuff they want to talk about today. I think we got almost all of it, except we didn't get to Taylor Armstrong on couple therapy, only because we don't watch it. But I'll

try and find a clip of that somewhere, because apparently she acted like an a-hole. And you can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. You can find us on Twitter at What Crappens. You can find Ben on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Vine, everything at B-Side Blog. And I'm a little weirder. You can find me at TrashTalkTV.com. I'm doing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps night of can find me at TrashTalkTV.com. I'm doing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps night of all season long at TrashTalkTV.com.

My tweet is, my Twitter is not Kyle's vagina. My Twitter is TrashTweetTV and on Facebook I'm at TrashTalkTV. So come find us everybody. Yay!

Love talking to you during the week. And thanks for all the talking and stuff you've been doing with us lately. We've been having a really good time. Love you. Mean it. Call us. Bye. Bye.

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