Watch What Crappens - #111: Reading, Tea Serving, Bitch Slapping

Episode Date: January 22, 2014

Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) join forces yet again to learn important lessons from Bravo. This week we tackle old lady stripper parties on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, cheating loser men on Real Housewives of Atlanta, the coming up of the intelligent women on Blood, Sweat and Heels, and idiot servers beating the crap out of each other on Vanderpump Rules. We also touch on Top Chef this week, if only as an excuse to diss the rebel Voltaggio moron. Enjoy! Special deal for Crappens listeners! Get your own site! FREE lifetime domain registration with any package! Go to DreamHost here: http://www.dreamhost.com/r.cgi?1533003 and type in the code CRAPPENS at checkout! Thanks for supporting us! Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-cra... On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/w... Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrap... Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Cotton got around to make fun of his fools A podcast about Bravo, nothing runs with Bravo But that's okay, we only care about Bravo Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens When there's so much that crap is Crap is

Crap is Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap Crap is Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens When there's so much that crappens? Watch what crappens, watch what crappens, who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm here as usual with Ben Mandelker of B-Side Blog. Hello, Benjamin.

Hi, Ronnie. Before we get started, you can find me at Trash Tweet TV on Twitter. You can find me on Instagram at Trash Tweet TV. You can find Ben at B-Side Blog on all of the social media outlets. You can also find his website, bsideblog.com. And my website is trashtalktv.com. I'm doing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps all season. So please come by and read them. You can find Watch What Crappens on Facebook at watchwhatcrappens on facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens and on Twitter at whatcrappens. And come on to our Facebook page and tell us stuff you want to talk about and talk to us. We have a really good community there of some funny-ass people.

So stop on by and tell us what you're thinking. Yeah, honestly, I really cannot endorse the Facebook page enough because people are putting, like, funny shit up there. It's really, really good. Like, if you want to sort of dig deeper into this podcast, that's the place to go. That's where all the gossip is. We only cover a few of the gossip items, and it's like one item after another all week long going up on that page. Yeah, and we're not really even doing anything.

We just kind of sit back and read it because it's effing hilarious. You guys take care of it. So thank you to everybody who goes on there and makes it a fun place to be. Yeah, thanks. Thanks, everyone. And as long as we're encouraging people to do things, I think a great thing that

you all should do, because it is January, it's New Year, why not get a domain at godaddy.com? Oh, yeah. So we just played that ad for you at the beginning. Okay, so we're kind of flaked. So Tara, you won with Shut Up Mountain, I believe, last year. So please email me at...

God, what email should I put in? Tara won because she bought the domain ShutUpMountain.com, something like that? Yeah, ShutUpMountain.com. And so the winner, and this is so lame that it's taken us this long, we're going to build a website called ShutUpMountain.com, and every week you guys will be able to go there and nominate who needs to shut up, and we'll vote every week. It's probably going to be a housewife every week you guys will be able to go there and nominate who needs to shut up and we'll vote every week. It's probably going to be a housewife every week.

But who what Bravo character needs to just shut the hell up. So thank you, Tara, so much for that. Send me the login information and all that so I can build a site. Just send it to Ronnie at Trash Talk TV. OK, and so we're going to start a new contest. So you guys go buy your three dollar. It's so cheap. Go buy it. But I know it's cheap, but it does a a new contest. So you guys go buy your three dollar. It's so cheap. Go buy it.

But I know it's cheap, but it does a lot for us. So go buy that. And so, you know, email me at Ronnie at Trash Talk TV dot com and tell me what you bought and show me that you bought it or whatever. And the winner will get a website. We'll build a little, you know, a small Bravo related website. get a website. We'll build a little small Bravo-related website. And by the way, and just to emphasize how cheap it is, I actually was helping out

my old boss last week with renewing his domain name and he pays $33 a year, or $38 a year, which is crazy. But that's the thing. To get a website for $3 is an amazing deal. So like we always say in the ads,

even if you don't even want to build your site, you just want to lock down your domain, seriously, just use the promo code CRABBINS and you get it for like $3 for the first year, maybe even $2. It's a good deal, everyone. Yeah, it's good. And so for the contest, just make a Bravo-related domain name and send it to me at ronnyatrashtalktv.com

and we'll have a contest. And by the end of February, we'll have some new websites built for y'alls. Okay, that's enough of that, you guys. Yeah, thank you for listening to all that crap. Now let's talk about the real crap. Yes, there's a lot of crap. So on this Facebook page, and don't worry, I'm not plugging it again. But this is where we're getting all our Housewives gossip as of late.

So thank you to Michael Cook and everybody on there who's posting. as of late. So thank you to Michael Cook and everybody on there who's posting. So the big thing today that everybody is posting is that Camille Grammer is considering a return to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. That's amazing. I did not know that until this very moment. And I'm excited about that.

I did read that the producers want to revamp the cast, a la New York, because the show has gotten away from over-the-top lifestyles and parties with famous people. And I also read one of the articles saying that Carlton is sure to be fired because viewers do not like her. Ratings are down this season, and Carlton is for sure going to be the first to go. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff already swirling about what's going to go on.

Carlton's supposedly getting fired, and Joyce isn't which people seem to people seem to enjoy the joyce and uh brandy fighting well i guess because that's all that's happening they're fighting so she knows how to keep her job well the show also needs its token black person so that's joyce yeah happy martin luther king day joyce so yeah there's been a lot going on about all this casting but But, you know, it started going downhill with Brandy. Sorry, I was kind of up for her getting in there. But if you're going to bring one white trash hoe, you can only have one white trash hoe. Because she's telling everybody else off. But then you bring in Carlton and, I don't know, all these phones.

And Carlton's friends. And we'll get into it. But, like, Carlton just brings a whole bunch a whole bunch of British white trash into the mix here. Well, a lot of what Bravo says whenever they do these big casting changes, and little Jill Zarin, who still can shut up, even though I haven't heard anything from her, she can still shut up. But one thing she told us was that they base a lot of their casting decisions just about what they read on Twitter and on the internet.

And so today, just for fun, I was a little bit bored waiting for the show to start. So I went onto Bravo TV to read the blogs. Do you ever do this, read the blogs? Very, very rarely. I think I read Lisa's blog last week, but I rarely do because it's like- Well, last week someone posted a link to it

and I went and I read all the comments. There were like hundreds of comments anti-Kim, which I think is hilarious. And so now I'm addicted because I love to read what everybody is telling these housewives. And Bravo has stopped apparently moderating because it used to be if you didn't say something nice, they would just delete you. You know, not from personal experience. But I looked this week, and so I want to go over a couple of the comments that people are leaving on these bravo blogs which are hilarious so this one is um stupid joyce oh no no this is carlton and the title of her blog is pole dancing isn't just sashaying around

okay because it's you know it's another week of of Carlton trying to prove that she has a working vagina. Yeah. So someone sells her Carlton, please stop trying to shock us. Epic fail. Um, another one. We all get it. You,

you and Brandy doesn't like Joyce because internet commenters are really good with grammar. So that one goes on for three, for three paragraphs. I didn't bother reading your blog cause I could care less what you have to say. You are nothing more than Honey Boo Boo with a bit more money and a lot more tan. All right. What was going on with your friend's baby talk?

It was so weird and creepy. Does anyone seriously think that Carlton is a lesbian or even bisexual? It's just all role playing for shock value. So this is really fun because they're basically hating on her. And I had no idea that people were hating on her and i had no idea that people were hating on her so people hate her hate her you move over to uh so then you move over to joyce and people are telling her stop flipping your fucking hair who's this stupid shooting a gun who dresses like that to a gun range um which are great and then kim's uh i fast forward through

most of Kim. Have you sent Lisa a thank you note yet for the generous gift she sent your daughter? Dear Kim, please do not drink a gallon of espresso before you write a blog. OMG, I'm so in love with Guy and Brandy and Brandy's mother and that guy with the little girl who sat at their table

and the meatloaf they served and the dishes. Wowee, goody gumdrops. Yeah, and I love Yolanda even though I hate her, hate her but i love her totally like yay does anyone have more and more and more coffee for me to drink yeah wowee what do you five so thank you bravo commenters thank you and you know speaking of kim there's also rumors that kim is gonna get the heave-ho after the season which is interesting because if kim gets fired, Kyle is threatening to quit. And I think that'll be okay. Yeah, she needs to just go with her fake Jewy ass. Get out of here, fake Judaism.

And also, she's threatening to quit supposedly if Lisa, I think we talked about this last time, if Lisa doesn't get fired, which is not going to happen. Bye, Kyle. Enjoy your forever not 21 anymore store. I think that was the major gossip.ips i mean why don't we just start talking about beverly hills since we're already talking about it pretty much in depth um you know to get back to carlton um and her her friend who speaks in the baby talk which drives me nuts i don't think it's ever cool for women over the age of five to talk in baby talk. Well, there's two of them now, because they've got that assistant,

Elizabeth, or whatever her name is. Elizabeth. And then now they've got this other ex-stripper who talks like that. And it's like, you know that she has kids, probably. You are setting an example for your children right now. And you're talking baby talk to be sort of flirty with a woman who you're acting like you have

a lesbian thing with, but you know you're probably too prudish to do anything about it except talk baby talk to be like sort of flirty with a woman who you're acting like you have like lesbian thing with but you know you're probably too prudish to do anything about it except talk baby talk to her and those leathery hags auditioning 15 year old strippers was well so that's okay so that here's this is my first point so carlton has announced this to us that she's having a pool party which we'll see next week and as part of the pool party she said pole party didn't she it's a whole party i thought it tell i kept rewinding it but her fake accent is so confusing i can't tell what the hell she i think i think that both will be present i think there will be pools and poles and poles polish people lots of holes holes and coals as in k-o-h-l-p-o-s-h-o-b-s a lot of a lot of cheap clothing they're're like, hey, I got that $5 bathing suit at Kohl's.

Hey, here's Lauren Conrad. So anyway, at this Poles, Pools, Kohl's, and Kohl's party. So she decides that she wants to have women dancing all over the place. Because she says this, first of all, as if it's a novelty. Guess what, Carlton? You go to any party, you go to any bar, go to like any 7-eleven in los angeles there's a half-naked girl writhing around okay it's not that shocking it's not that crazy you're not that novel for coming up with this idea but anyway she goes she said that she wants to have women dancing around because she says the female body is like a work of art you know and she's

doing this whole thing women are just so beautiful. I'm like, okay, that's fine. I get that. Women have beautiful bodies, et cetera. But then why are you auditioning the most ratchet hoes in all of Los Angeles? No kidding. Not all women's bodies are created equally, and you're definitely not auditioning the right ones. Yeah, those girls are straight from a parking lot audition at Elephant vs. Pyramid right now.

Terrible, those girls are straight from a parking lot audition at Elephant or Experiment Rhino. Terrible, terrible girls. And also, you know what, Carlton? You look like an antique briefcase that's been left in the rain for a week. Okay? Like, I do not want to see you with your panel of, like, American horror idol judges. Like, extra for sitting there judging 15-year-olds. It's disgusting, and it's so not empowering to women it's like you're basically setting up a big market for old ugly men friends of your husband to come like buy

young women to like take around town okay honey it's like this is not muhammad's house yeah i mean it really would have been one thing if she was auditioning if she were auditioning some sort of like uh pin-up type girls, or just like pretty girls. Just basic girls. You know what? I would have more respect for her if she just said,

you know, every housewife has a business, and mine is amateur internet porn. And today, I'm going to interview runaways from Oklahoma, and I'm going to have them suck a big old man's wiener. You know? Okay. At least you have a job.

That I could respect. But this no no i mean she's just she's a ridiculous woman and she's she's very stupid and she's very annoying and uh like you said she looks like she's been left out in the rain she's a great honestly she's in many ways she's kind of like a uh a great poster child for for why we should have more scotch guard on these women's faces. No kidding. And also reading, you know? Yeah. It's like, I know that the reading rainbow didn't stay on the air, but maybe instead PBS could just show clips of this moron over and over. So parents can remind themselves, we need to let our children read.

And if they can't read, and if they're really pretty, and they insist on being little hoes in school while they go to sleep at night, play books on tape. Just do something. Try and educate your children, America. By the way, I love the preview for next week where Kyle sees Carlton's ridiculous neck tattoo, and Kyle says, is that the Jewish star? And then Carlton gets really pissed off. First of all, the Jewish star is Barbra Streisand, okay?

But also, it exposes how dumb they both are, because Kyle just spent a whole segment talking about how she converted to Judaism, and she's doing Shabbat dinner, and Shabbat shalom, and she's doing the candles and all that, and then she doesn't understand the difference between a Jewish star and any other star is hilarious to me.

I've never heard it called the Jewish star. I've heard the star of David, but I've never heard anybody like, that's the Jewish star. Well, then it just adds another layer of stupidity. And then you have Carlton getting all mad as if Kyle had just said Heil Hitler or something like that. I mean, they're two very stupid women interacting. Yeah, extremely stupid. Extremely, extremely stupid the picture i'm staring at that's on my computer

while we talk about this is poor camille grammar because we were just talking about her and it's camille grammar with her eyes half crossed one eye is more closed than the other one and her face can't move oh god please bring her back i know they should bring her back and i say bring back taylor too she was a big mess but but i sort of liked her in her messiness Taylor might actually get brought back I have not heard that but from everything I've heard she is just amazing on couples therapy yeah to be able to follow Taylor and her relationship with the lawyer with her lawyer that she got while she was being sued by from people that she stole millions of dollars with with her husband yeah killed himself like i can't even put it all in a sentence it's too much and i need it in my life

yeah absolutely but you know we should be happy enough that we're getting camille you know camille is a gem under under her under herself you know i'm sad that we're gonna be celebrating somebody else's yeah the same day that we hear about our friends split. It's so upsetting. I know. Never gets old. Never gets old. Never, ever, ever gets old.

Well, they can bring on whoever the hell they want to. The show is not going to be okay until they get rid of Carlton, Brandy, Kyle. I think Yolanda. What does Yolanda do nothing joyce no they're gonna they're gonna keep yolanda because she's rich the thing is that uh brandy they're not gonna get rid of because brandy is the only one who actually really gets into fights with people anymore you know because she's still yeah she gets totally unfilled but now it's just at first it was funny because she was a victim and you know like she was attacked first you know she fought back like white trash but she was still attacked first yeah she's just

being an idiot because she's wasted all the time that's not fun to watch yeah and you know so so in this episode she uh she goes up to sacramento with yolanda to for for a book reading of her of her book and she's gonna see her parents and she's had a falling out with her dad because he thinks her Oscar address was slutty. But also, she explains to us that her dad is upset because in her book, she described him as a drug dealer, but technically he's just a weed grower. And I'm like, you know, that is actually a big difference.

And I think, you know, she says like, oh, I don't understand why my dad's mad about that. Like, I would be mad about that too. Like like if you're not a drug dealer if you've just grown weed i mean yeah it's in the world of it's worse he's a fucking distributor that's worse like he's a mega dealer give me a break like he's not he's not one of the like he's not a walmart he's all the factories that use child labor to put the shit in walmart that keeps it cheap like he's not a walmart he's all the factories that use child labor to put the shit in walmart that keeps it cheap like he's the he's worse yeah but when you call someone a drug dealer it implies that they still use beepers it implies that you wear like maybe blazers with t-shirts and that's

like very offensive i would not want people thinking that of me well would you want them thinking you're a drug distributor or a drug kingpin then don't make drugs well here's the thing people who grow weed i feel like don't always have great logic and i think that they sort of there's like a weed culture thing where it's like it's it's it's like it's uh it's inoffensive it's fine it's pot it doesn't hurt anyone really and listen i agree i'm legally allowed to buy marijuana in the state of California because of all of my medical issues, which include being entirely too handsome and being too rude to hold a real

job. And I'm legally, I love weed dealers. I love her father. I'm not saying he's a bad person. I'm just saying, don't act all offended that you're being called a drug dealer when you're a fucking drug distributor.

That's what you are. But at the same time, Brandy, don't be so surprised if you're being called a drug dealer when you're a fucking drug distributor that's what you are but at the same time brandy don't be so surprised if you call your dad a drug dealer when he's not she's an idiot yeah yeah when he when he's not like you know tony what's his face tony montana and she acts like such a victim in every single circumstance it's like uh my dad's mad at me because of my oscar dress no he's mad because you called him a drug dealer on national tv so there's one lie okay yeah so then she's the victim because oh this was my favorite thing they go to boxing class and she she pulls a dick move and punches the uh punches the instructor so hard that she hurts her hand and then it she's the victim because her hand hurts because you fucking punch someone in the face too hard. And you're the victim.

Like, she can make any, she could shoot someone and she'd be like, I burnt my hand. The gunpowder burnt me. It's like, you shot somebody. You know, she's also taken a lot of liberties with this whole, like, missing dog situation. Like, it's very sad that Chico has gone missing and probably has been eaten by a coyote. But at this point, it's like, you can't you can't start blaming everything in your life on that. Like, you know, when you drink too much it's because Chico went missing. Or when you call someone an asshole

it's because Chico went missing. It's like, I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. It's not the same. You may have loved this little dog and everything. Whatever, that maid killed Chico because she was sick of cleaning shit up off the floor. Like, potty train your dogs and your maids won't kill them and then, like, feed them to coyotes, okay? Yeah, yeah.

And, you know, and I'm also getting a little sick of her whole, like, when it's very convenient for her, she does this whole, like, well, I don't have a man to defend me or I'm all alone. But that's actually such a kind of like anti-feminist thing, stance to take that like if she doesn't have a man to help defend her, then she's useless or you can't beat up on her. You can't on one hand be like, I'm this tough bitch. I'm going to write a book about how I got on my feet again, da-da-da-da-da. And then on the other hand be like, oh, well, you can't say that. You have a husband. You know what it's like to have someone defend you are you following what i'm saying here i think i'm getting a little lost no no i'm like no i'm liking it i'm just listening to you rant yeah i just feel like she's not she's relying on she's some pretty girl who like maybe could have been a model

at one point but ended up with some fucking hot ass soap star who is still fucking hot i don't care what anyone says married some guy most likely for his looks who was probably fucking around on her the whole time and was fine living off of his money until she wasn't anymore and caught him in the act it's like it's not like you married some like good person okay you married fucking eddie cibrian it's not like it's not like everybody hasn't known for years that that guy's been fucking everybody he sees. Give me a break. I feel bad for getting cheated on and blah, blah, blah. But stop.

Go find another handsome person. Use them for their money. It's been like four years. So that's why whenever Brandy gets into an argument and then everyone says, well, you know, she's going through a tough time. I don't think that her... I think her time of toughness has passed. I think okay, maybe she's having a falling out with her dad. That can be tough. I get that.

But the dog thing, Eddie Cibrian, I don't know. I don't buy it. Yeah. It's like Kirstie Alley blaming being fat on Shelley Long sending her hate letters after replacing her on cheers well that would that would drive me that would drive me if i started getting hate letters from shelly long i'd be like oh shit i am getting some ice cream because i'm gonna read these all night

long yeah but like 30 years later i mean come on christy ellie get over it that was like 500 pounds ago let it go, all right? You guys got divorced a long time ago. Stop. But I love that it's like divorce. It's like this horrible thing like, my husband left us and the children, and my dog ran away.

Yeah, exactly. My little dog the size of a sneaker. Yeah. I just have no pity for her because she's such a fucking victim if she wasn't i would have pity for her if she wasn't such a victim i'd be like you know they shouldn't they shouldn't be so mean to her i mean she's trying to make it on her own as a single woman she got cheated on her dog died but when she keeps bringing it up every time she acts like an asshole and notice that every time she brings it up she's like yeah i mean honestly like a few

weeks ago she's like you know joyce we have some mutual friends and they do not speak highly of you and joyce is like well that was rude well i'm going to hard time my dog left like no shut up brandy you did not have to just offer up that information right then yeah yeah hitler's dog hitler's dog ran away sorry jew, Jews, but get over it. You've had a lot of Jewish comments tonight, Ronnie. Well, Hitler is like the worst. Everyone, don't worry. I'm Jewish.

At least they're pro-Jew comments. They are pro-Jew. They're anti-Hitler and anti-Kyle's fake Judaism. Give me a break. But by the way, so back to Brandy, though. So they went to Sacramento, and she gave Yolanda a tour of scenic Sacramento. Give me a break. like gangland territory, whatever. And Yolanda was being like, well, in Holland, we don't have gangs. Like everything, she was like, oh, well, in Holland, we don't have crosswalks. Oh, we don't have bicycles. Oh, that's a lot.

Like everything, like the entire Sacramento experience was like not in Holland. Oh, we don't have hotels in Holland. We just have large cottages. We don't have state capitals in Holland. Guns and schools. We don't even have schools. We have barns and sticks.

We have giant clogs and we put desks inside of them. My favorite Yolanda moment was when she was like, well, yeah, one time I was breastfeeding. I was breastfeeding Gigi in the room and some man came in with a gun and he saw me and then he ran and I took Gigi and handed her to my mom and I chased that man down. And if I had found him, I would have turned him into mashed potato it's like you're so fucking white that all

you can turn a criminal into is something even more white i know but that brings me to a good point by the way she tells that story and it's actually like a very terrifying story and then joyce also told a really scary story that her guys with shotguns and masks came up her driveway and were going to rob her. We hear two very terrifying stories about home invasions. For both stories, the Bravo producers played music that was like...

I was like, what is going on here? Normally, if someone says, oh shit, I left my nail polish at home, the music's like, boom. Then they're talking about real life danger danger like yeah there were two guys with masks and they had shotguns and i would have been like raped and murdered had my dog not like luckily like gone crazy on them i don't even i don't even hear all that i just i think when it's joyce i

just tune out because i heard her say like well, you know, I one time I look Peter No one time I looked out and I saw these men with masks and they were coming up the driveway and my dog was freaking out and I was like What like there were probably like trick-or-treaters or missionaries? It's just like and then my dog ran away after that So I really understand Brandi's experience just trying to empathize. I just want to give her a hug right now Just want to give you a hug. Okay, I accept that apology She's so stupid. I can't take give her a hug right now. Just want to give you a hug. Okay, I accept that apology. She's so stupid. I can't take, I can't,

I can't listen to Joyce. And then she's telling the guy at the gun range, oh, I've shot a gun before in a movie. And he starts laughing like, bitch, please, you've been in a movie? And then she doesn't even know how to hold the gun without the chamber falling open. Oh, my God. You did not do this in a movie. Shut up, Joyce. I know. I'd like to see her and Kenya Moore get together

for a film oh my god yeah great we'll get to Atlanta later but it's like two fake actresses you guys know that there's the internet we can look this shit up right two great black actresses Joyce and Kenya

making great advances for black cinema the help could have been so much better okay so what else happened on this i love that we only really saw kim i guess we saw her in that gym scene or whatever but there was only one time they showed kim and she was like, I love boxing. Boom! Bang! Yeah! Boxing! Yeah! And then we fell down. Box! Box! I got a book in the mail. It was in a box. Yeah, I was like, I love boxing, Amazon. Stupid Kim.

Yeah, they went to self-defense class and then Brandy accused Lisa of mothering her again and I think they're trying to set the stage for whatever epic blowout they have later this season. Yeah, that's pretty sad because they're all grasping.

That last scene was just so sad to watch because it's Brandy grasping at some reason to be mad at Lisa. And then it's Kyle grasping at something. It's like Lisa didn't even do anything. Like, look, I get that Lisa can be, like, a haughty bitch, okay? I'm not saying that she can't. But these two, like, pick something real to be mad at.

I think that Kyle's like, oh, Lisa's the only person with a job, and she's the only person that's busy. Yeah, Kyle, what the fuck do you do? Except, like, pick things out online and let Eileen, too, or whoever the hell is your partner run that store you don't do anything for that store shut up kyle yeah well the thing is this i mean kyle and brandy are both very immature i mean i could not even imagine these women like talking with like my mom you know like they it's just like they're on a different plane like i

could imagine my mom and lisa having conversation going dinner or something like that you know but i can't imagine my mom ever being like social with someone like kyle or brandy because they're just like immature they're at their they act like a grown uh grown like older teenage girls you know i want to go to the facebook really quick uh viviana just such a hilarious comment she said yolanda's icy glare and bare breast halted a home invasion that's such a beautiful way to put that. I'm telling you, if I were a robber and I came across Yolanda with her Aryan glare, I too would run.

I would run very fast. Because you know that she has probably like 30 dachshunds. Not dachshunds. Doberman bitches. She might have 30 dachshunds too. They come and attack you. Yeah, that was pretty fucking frightening man that yolanda can be one scary hooker yeah um okay so what else happened on beth hills are we done

with that that's done we're done why don't we move on to the other scary hookers which are down the street in west hollywood on vanderpump rule yeah i just watched that and posted an article at trash talk it's really not an article it's just a picture of what we see at the very end, which is Stassi smacking the crap out of Horseface number one. Yeah. That moment in the previews, it made me so happy. My soul lifted. It lifted up through the ceiling into the heaven to see someone actually smack Horseface. And in a way, that doesn't sound bad. Obviously, a guy can't smack her. But for Stassi to see someone actually smack horse face. And in a way that doesn't sound bad,

you know, like obviously a guy can't smack her, but for Stassi to smack her, that's great. Yeah. That was pretty amazing. That was the best thing ever. And I'm watching it right now.

I just, I just went on the site and now it's just playing over and over again. So speaking of horse face, um, the, the show opened up, I think with her crying, she's crying in her apartment.

He's going to Michigan. The show opened up, I think, with her crying. She's crying in her apartment. She's in trouble. I need to go to Michigan. I like Michigan. Like, seriously? Seriously? I'm going to the Upper Mitten in Michigan? Oh, she's horrible. She is really an awful, awful.

We're talking about Kristen, by the way. If you've never listened to the podcast before, when we say Horse Face 1 and Horse Face 2, those are references to Kristen and Katie because we're very mature and we call women Horseface 1 and Horseface 2. Well, they started it by calling themselves hot. They did start it. They did. So anyway, so Kristen went off to Michigan to have some alone time

and to get her emotions in order, which, of course, is hilarious to think that she could ever do that. And while she was gone, Tom and Jax had a really good fight. Jax basically got his knickers all in a twist and accused Jax of ruining his life. Did I say Jax got his knickers? Tom got his knickers in a twist.

Yeah, Tom got his knickers in a twist. So what do you think about that? Because it turns out that, of course, you know, Stassi's a bitch but she is right about a lot of things right when she's like of course they're friends they're both lying cheating assholes i mean her name is her name is stassi is literally named after the german secret police she knows all the secrets yeah and she was right again she was right again but it's not like they had sex or anything they met out drunkenly in a hotel

at the gold coast i mean they made in in the pool at the gold coast i sound like kim today i don't know what's wrong with me yeah so basically what happened was what tom finally revealed was that he and ariana made out at the golden nugget in um in las vegas line of the night golden nugget you've sunk to a new level yeah i love that that was what was more offensive to Stassi. I can't believe you did it at the golden nugget. And he's like, what? I love that place. Yeah, then they get like a whole side discussion about casinos. So here's my theory.

My theory is that, you know, it was such a stupid thing. You know, Tom and Ariana's a kiss a few years ago. My theory is that the producers probably got into Tom's ear and was like, you know, on as a kiss a few years ago my theory is that the producers probably got into tom's ear and was like you know you probably shouldn't tell uh probably shouldn't tell kristen about it because she'll get really upset so you should probably keep it to yourself and i bet because he's very stupid he probably felt it was manipulated into not sharing it until of course it became a much bigger deal than it was and that's that's why i think he didn't tell her initially i think that he probably just figured she would fucking lose it and freak out and then he'd have all these girls like slashing his tires and going after

him those girls are nuts yeah girls are crazy and i love that they're so like you know they're going to keep their man in line but so far we know that two out of three of their boyfriends have cheated on them multiple times so like great job like did you ever think that maybe being such a ratchet bitch has something to do with that yeah exactly and meanwhile to speak uh just as further evidence that these women are crazy bitches horse face number one before she even gets to the airport at like while she's on her break she gets to the airport she tweets, Tom Sanz of all is the best boyfriend alive, and we are both crackheads. This bitch is crazy. She is crazy.

What I love, though, is that when that came out, so Stas was telling this to the other mean girls. And then they were like, ugh. They roll their eyes, and then they start talking about how life is so much better when Kristen's not around, when she's off in Michigan. Do you realize it's like every week they announce who's the best one to not be there. Every week they're like, ugh, have you noticed that we always have so much fun when Jax isn't here?

Have you noticed that when Sheena's not around we have so much fun? This is the way it should always be. So this week it was like, have you noticed that we have so much more fun when Kristen's not here? Jax is the worst. And I hate that, you know, Bravo has gotten me so used to seeing women backstab each other and treat really good friendships like they're nothing and just throw them in the garbage

for no reason for a little airtime. I'm kind of used to it. At least the women on Bravo. In real life, I still would get disappointed in a woman friend. But on Bravo, I expect it. But the men, I mean, come on. Stop trying to make it so even. You put a hoe before a bro.

Who does that? Who does that? All he did was make out with the girl. Why would you do that? And then he makes it so much worse than it was. And Tom was absolutely right. Tom was absolutely right when he said that Jax comes up with grandiose stories or I think the word he used was something like

grandited stories or something like that but he comes up with grandiose stories just so he has something to talk about with Stassi so he can win back Stassi's Tom grandiose is like a mix between grand and gross he actually thought it was something like Grand Marnier

he thought it was a cocktail. Like, oh yeah, this is a grandiose margarita. It has like a shot of grandiose in it. It really is great. An essence of cucumber, which they love it, sir. It's like an essence of cucumber. Oh my God, we infused a pineapple. What?

But the point is that everyone's really stupid on this show. And they're all bitches. You know, to me, a great example of the girls being bitches, especially that Katrina girl. She's not like a main. Is her name Katrina or Karina or Katarina? The one that's Olivia Palermo. Yeah. She's not like an official cast member.

But at one point, so Sheena got engaged. It was a long, stupid, boring moment. And afterwards, Sheena is talking about it to a horse face number two and horse face number three and and so they're asking about the ring and sauce is like well it was actually really nice is the ring was like princess cut and katrina like rolled her eyes as if like like what trash like are you like fucking serious like it's an engagement ring like let this poor girl have a moment like who cares if it's princess cut instead of and sassy's like you two need to get the sticks out of your asses which i mean again team stasty for one episode at least that shit was hilarious and

what is that girl bitching about you ain't never getting anything i know the only thing that i'm telling you one thing i think the term princess cut would be more apt for that girl if there was an n involved hey oh hey oh yeah that girl's horrible it's bad enough dealing with the ones that we have to without bringing in extra hoes yeah so i wanted to ask you an la question please please ron i've noticed that on this show they're always swimming at like hotels and stuff can you just walk into a hotel and start swimming like they go to that one on the sunset strip that not this episode but they've been to that one on the sunset strip where it overlooks the city i don't yeah the andas or the the you know some of them i think some of them some of them you can like for instance the standard you

can just go and swim there others like i believe the lond, I think you have to be a guest to go up there. But I think if you come with a crew, it's okay. I think the Roosevelt you can swim in, yeah. Just as long as you're buying drinks and stuff. Or you have a TV crew with you. Oh, yeah. That probably helps. As long as we go to the standards.

Go to the standard. I love going to the standard. I was just curious about that because I had a friend who was like, oh, we should go to the public pool. It's so fun. I was like, gross. Who does that? Let's go to the strip.

Of course, you know I wouldn't go in anyway. I'd be so afraid. I'd get laughed out of there. I'm telling you, for anyone who's out-of-towners who want to come to L.A. and have an experience, I highly recommend going to the Standard and getting yourself a mojito, sit back, and watch the craziness unfold. It's not super crazy, but

you definitely see some weird things around that pool. Europeans and such. It's fun. It's true. Europeans go in there with weird bathing suits and they're smoking cigarettes. They somehow keep their cigarette alight underwater. I don't know what it is. Europeans, their cigarettes do not go out.

That's basically what you see. Yeah, Europeans are keeping Americans smoking. I think Americans would have quit if Europeans weren't just sitting by pools blowing smoke in our faces because it keeps us addicted. I'll tell you one thing. I was just on Olympic and Pico walking around

about two hours ago. It's a highly Israeli neighborhood. And you want to talk about cigarettes smoking on the street. Oh my god. That's one smoky block around there between Doheny and Robertson. Oh really? That's like some hardcore Tel Aviv

cigarette smoking going on there. I'm going to walk down there every once in a while and just start inhaling. It's not the prettiest of walks either I'd like to walk down there every once in a while and just start inhaling. Well, it's not the prettiest of walks either, I'd like to add. I was speedwalking behind. I was doing my exercise walk yesterday, and some guy was in front of me smoking, and I was going to cross the street because, you know, I was trying to exercise. And I was like, no, I'm going to smell this.

And so I got real close to him and just kind of walked really close to him awkwardly right behind him. That's good. That's all good. good so anyway sorry about that detour so uh the vanderpump rules so kristin comes back she comes back from michigan which i guess she was gone for like a second she was gone for like hey guys i'm back from michigan seriously seriously and she's like she's like i feel like really centered i feel like it was really good for me i feel like centered and like i feel like i'm in a good place now and he's like she's like i feel like really centered i feel like it was really good for me i feel like centered and like i feel like i'm in a good place now and he's like you know like

she's whenever by the way okay i'm gonna say something sexist and i'm gonna stand behind it whenever girls say i feel like i'm really in a good place now it means they're in the worst place of all that's that's what you should know that's code for i'm in such a bad place that the only way i can deal with it is if i start telling people I'm in a good place. That's the only way I can deal with it. I guess it goes for guys, too, but I feel like girls do it more. Yeah. And you don't want to ever say you're in a good place because that gives somebody the opportunity to be like, well, what place are you in?

You're a waitress in a restaurant where your boyfriend has admitted to cheating on you and has been working with the girl that you hate. And he cheated on you with for like five days yeah it's it's never a good sign it's never a good sign when you have to retreat to detroit to get into a good place yeah they're not they're not doing well there yeah she's just like i'm gonna i'm gonna pass car i'm gonna pass dilapidated broken down car factories. Yeah. I went to Flint, Michigan and really got centered. I saw the old GM plan. I saw some women eating rabbits. She's like, I drove around listening to Motown

remembering how it's dead now to feel better about myself. Could you imagine if she even listens to Motown? She'd be like, I don't get it. I don't get it. What are these people singing about this doesn't sound current like seriously seriously like i'd rather listen to sheena oh god speaking of sheena it's so hard to like her sometimes even though she's like the nicest thing in the world but i love that stassi just to get her to the surprise location which is just fucking lisa's house i mean did lisa move so she could

just have cameras installed everywhere and they don't even have to have camera crews there but it's lisa's house of course and they're just like okay sheena there's a photo shoot she doesn't know what it's for she just shows up there because they tell her there's a camera there and then it's just fucking pandora stand there don't look at me don't look at me. Don't look at me. Alright, I'm going up a hill now. Don't look. She's like, okay. She's got this like Muppet thing to her voice and it's making me crazy.

She'll be like, okay. Hang on. What are you doing here, babe? I can't cry. I'm here at a photo shoot. I love that. I love that Shay shows up and he's clearly about to propose to her

and she still doesn't really get it until he gets down on one knee. Even then, she's like, is this part of the photo shoot? I thought we were doing... Is this supposed to be good looks for when you're getting engaged? An engagement is the perfect excuse to put on a nice maxi dress. That'll be what our column is. If you're gonna get

engaged, put on, take a spackle out, and coat your face in ten layers of makeup. From Wondery, this is Black History for Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey and I'm Conscious Lee what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History Rosa Parks Reconstruction MLK February Black History Month exactly exactly there are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that.

Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for Black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself.

But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, Bishop Grey's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. If you're afraid the diamond is going to be small, then just put on so much eyelashes that you can barely see through them. You won't know until after you've taken a shower. You're making her sound like Skeeter or Scooter. I'm telling you, I know it needs some work, but there is definitely a Muppet quality to her voice. There's actually a Muppet quality to her entire existence like i expect to see like little poles under her arms sort of walks around like a muppet you know there have been popping all right so um what else

happened on this stupid show so again i have to say i love that they're giving lisa more to do this year on the show because she's fucking hilarious i love how she feels bad for nobody but she still keeps everybody around because she likes to hear the drama of all the kids you know well she lisa did something really creepy i should have taken a screenshot of it i don't know if anyone noticed it but she had some sort of i guess what they call a smoky eye and she her makeup was in such a way that when she uh closed her eyelid it looked like it like her eye was wide open. It was so creepy. Did you see that?

Did anyone see it? No, I didn't see it. A little Easter egg for all you people out there. So the other thing that happened was – or a continuation of what happened. So Kristen comes back after being centered from the poverty of northern Michigan or wherever she was. of northern Michigan, or wherever she was. And she's all centered until she has a meltdown in Sur

and starts yelling at Ariana and starts calling her a cunt and all these nasty things and Tom's telling her to shut up. And it really bothered me again. This is, again, another example of Bravo setting the women's movement back a hundred years because it was a prime example of

a woman hating on another woman when it's the man who's at fault yes yes you know like and even tom was saying yell at me yell at me and chris is like she's the cunt she's the cunt like no you actually evolved people here what i mean here's the deal are they crackheads because that would make more sense like you know you stay together with like i used to have this friend who was just horrible. He was so mean. But we used to love going through Arby's together and getting, like, 20, like, 50 cent, you know, they would have, like, specials. Like, we'd just, like, binge together.

We'd get, like, three pizzas and binge. Like, I hated him, but I could never do that in front of another human being and haven't to this very day. And I'm wondering if that's the same. You could do it with me. I couldn't do that with you. Are you kidding? haven't to this very day. And I wonder if that's the same. You could do it with me. I couldn't do that with you. Are you kidding? Yeah, you could. No, you work out.

Oh, well. I'm saying you could do it and you wouldn't have to go far. No, this guy was like 200 pounds heavier than me. Like, you know, it's just one of those things. Like a true addict. You're not an addict. You'd be like, oh, my God, I had three pieces of pizza. Oh, it's so much.

Like, no, I couldn't do that with you. I mean like a real addictive, fun binge. Let me say something. Come with me to All You Can Eat Korean BBQ and you see a whole other side of Ben. No, I would be like horse face there. I'd be like, do you have anything vegetarian? Oh, that's right. You're vegan again.

No, just vegetarian. Oh, veg. Whatever. I had to amend that's right. You're vegan again. No, just vegetarian. Oh, veg. Whatever. I had to amend that whole goal. So anyway, yes, she's terrible. And she doesn't seem to know she's terrible. She seems kind of off the rails. She stays...

Well, also, what I also think is funny is, so she's coming at Ariana, and Ariana really does not give a shit. She's like, okay, well, whatever. Like, it was a kiss. It was nothing. I didn't want to, like, sell out Tom just for this, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. She's very, like, sanguine about it.

She's just cool, collected. And what I liked is that afterwards, all the girls rushed to Ariana's side. They're like, oh, my God. Kristen, she's, like, out of control. She doesn't – she's, like – she's crazy. And then Stassi – it's like Stassi was almost like bending over backwards to get Ariana off the hook. She's like, well, you know, Tom did say to you that, you know, he's breaking up with her. So you had no idea.

So in your book, like you thought it was a perfectly innocent thing. And I get that. And that's why I'm not mad at you. I'm like, listen, if it were like the other way around, if this were like Sheena or something like that or someone that Stassi hated, it would be like, well, Tom said he was breaking up with Kristen. But you didn't know that for a fact and you still went through with it. You know, like she went out of her way to exonerate Ariana in this situation. And it's just hilarious to me the way these mean girls operate, the way they shift alliances to make someone feel so shitty about themselves.

And yet at the same time, I'm not going to be on Kristen's side because Kristen's awful too. Kristen is awful i hope that tom like i hope that he sleeps with so many people over the course of their relationship she is the worst yeah stassi's only doing that because she's getting revenge for other things she's getting revenge for capo and horse face number two will get hers too don't think that she's gonna get away like both of them are hilarious. Yeah, I was like... They're so true to Stassi, and they're both going to get it.

You know? Yeah, Horseface number two, she still has something coming to her. She did cry during Stassi's party, and that was a no-no. Oh, yeah. She's going to get it, and everybody knows it. Well, next week will be great, because Stassi punches Horseface number one. So, I think we all are looking forward to that. Yes, for sure.

A lot of fulfillment. And speaking of brawls, it looks like next week on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, we're going to have quite a brawl. Oh my God, the men get into it. Okay, this week we learned on The Real Housewives of Atlanta that every single man on this show is either cheating, has cheated, or is with you because of your money, basically. Yeah, no surprise there. They're all pigs on this show, either cheating has cheated or is with you because your money basically yeah

they're no surprise they're all pigs on this show every single one of them no surprise there um yeah and that goes so well let's see where to begin i guess so one the the one of the stories what was a lot about todd because there's this girl's name natalie natasha well first let's start with the beginning because we opened this week with c, which, that's always a bad sign. So I was not expecting much from this episode. Because sometimes it'll be like, Cynthia, she's posing. And then it'll be like, hey babe, what do you want to do today? And then it'll cut to Nene's house.

And then it'll go Nene, and then we follow Nene, and then it's interesting. But this time it just stayed at cynthia's house and i was like oh no we're in trouble now and they went to bar one and i guarantee you because that's peter's bar i guarantee you everyone in that bar i guarantee they're they're paying them that they they came in from like craigslist there's no way that people actually go to that bar i don't know people as as nini would call them those were twitter people yeah probably just put something on twitter like cynthia's gonna be at bar one tonight and like a bunch of weird poor people came but yeah so they had it at bar one and peter's like how does peter talk i haven't done an impression he sure sounds like i can't do it sure sounds muffled i can't my peer impersonation is not good yeah people yeah welcome to the

restaurant yeah here's our friend here's how we know these these friends and so they it's obviously I can't, my peer impersonation's not good. Yeah, Peter Bell. He's like, welcome to the restaurant. Yeah, here's our friend. Here's how we know these friends. And so they, it's obviously this weird fake relationship that they have. And by the way, and let me interrupt here. Have you noticed that this season on Atlanta, it's been like a revolving door of like friends of cast members who are like trying to get on the show. Yeah, they're just all auditioning their friends this year.

Yeah, it was like Monique was, Monique got to go to Savannah and now we have these girls uh natalie and uh charles charles williams the former r&b singer yes so that was the best part peter's like you gotta come across the street man to see my place and cynthia's like peter thinking of course peter's gonna whip out a lease and try and talk this poor guy into like getting a new music studio you know for music that he no longer records right so cynthia's mortified so they do go over to the studio and there's a little table set up and you know like a little bravo i don't even think we saw a waiter it was probably like a bag of mcdonald's under the table and by the way can i say that bravo if there's

something that bravo loves to do on this show they like to take a tiny little table and put it in a vast space and say happy anniversary. That was in Cup Fitness. Yeah, like how many times do we have to see a tiny little table for an anniversary in a huge warehouse or soundstage? It's the most unromantic thing. I think it happened with Kim Zolciak. It's happened, yeah, with Tamra, everyone. So he's like, I've got a surprise for you, babe. So, you know, she can smell the McDonald's under the table,

so she's not impressed already. So this R&B singer comes out and he's like, now this is a song that encapsulates everything that Peter feels. Dun, dun, dun. I was broke when I met you. I didn't have a dollar to my name. And then I saw you, and you gave me some money and a little fame. And now I got a car I didn't pay for.

And I got a building I didn't pay for. And I've got a restaurant I can eat for free at that I don't pay for. I love you, baby. And she's like, that was so romantic, Peter. Fibroids, fibroids, fibroids. That whole song is about how he was broke until he met Cindy. Yeah. And I liked how, you know, earlier they were talking about,

because Natalie, Charles' wife, knew Todd from way back because Todd had cheated on Natalie's friend. And she basically was implying that he was an opportunist, but basically said he always knows how to find himself in a better situation. And I liked how, you know, Peter was acting as if that was like a crazy thing. Like, Peter, what do you think you are right now in this situation? No kidding. What were you doing before this, before you were spending all of Cynthia's money on crappy endeavors? Yes. And that's my favorite thing, too, because that woman, she was, what was her name? you doing before this before you were spending all of cynthia's money on crappy endeavors yes and that's my favorite thing too because that woman she was what was her name natalie i think

natalie okay so she was saying basically that he was an opportunist but she never said that she said look all i know is that he broke up with her and he ended up with someone better he always knows how to find him a better place in life and And then Cynthia's like, so he's an opportunist. Well, now I'm just saying that he gets a better place in life. And she's like, so he's an opportunist. So then she runs and says opportunist. Like, you were the one who said opportunist, not her. Even though she was saying that. Right, exactly.

Meanwhile, though, Todd, I mean, I don't know. I don't know where I stand on Todd. I mean, I think he seems like more or less a good guy. I mean, I'm glad he's helping out Candy with her play because to me, by the way, I started to have this visceral feeling of dread as she went and looked at that theater. It was like a big, real theater

that's $10,000 a day, and they don't even have a script yet, and they're trying to book the theater i like to me this is yeah but she even said she's like if we're gonna be a tyler perry or whatever you know like if your goal is to be a tyler perry in the theatrical department i mean you've seen commercials for his plays before he got famous i mean yeah they were like a curtain with a house painted on it and then a big folding table and like 50 people surrounding it yelling. Like, it's not like a lofty goal is all I'm saying.

That's true. That's true. She can write the songs. And also, as far as Todd, I'm sorry, but I don't trust any man. I don't trust any person who won't sign a prenup. I think that's bullshit. If you're going to date a rich person or marry a rich, famous person, you're going to sign a prenup. Or you're in it for something else, period. I don't believe that for one second he would be with her if she was some poor girl with orphan Annie Fantasia hair.

He would never do it. Yeah, I think Mama Joyce is crazy, but I'm starting to – the tide is turning for me a little bit on Todd. Yeah, if he's not going to sign a prenup, then no, I don't trust him. And he should just say it like, listen, you want to sign a prenup? Fine. I want a prenup too, though, because what if I end up making a lot of money in my job? You're not going to come take my money, and if I do help you with your endeavors, then I want serious pay and I'm not doing it for free. Like if it's going to be business, then it's going to be business. That would be fine.

But for him to just not sign a prenup is bullshit. I don't trust him. Yeah, I agree. Meanwhile, so I feel like I'm saying this like every week. But I went on to our podcast from last week and someone left a comment about the candy burst impersonation that i am that i'm fond of doing and she was like this candy burst impersonation is still racist and i'm like listen shut up but here's the here's the thing so as everyone knows when the the fun of the candy burst impersonation for me is that candy has such a strange voice

it's very deep and then can get nasally and then it can get high pitch all at once that's the most impossible voice to do and so so whenever I do it, it's just this crazy car wreck of a thing. And it's not like me being racist. I'm getting to a point with this. Obviously it's not me trying to be racist and I've explained this many times before and I stand behind

my stupid impersonation. But what was hilarious is that on the show, Nini impersonated Candy. And you know what? nini's impersonations have like my impersonation so i want to hear no more about it because nini was like don't talk about my man don't talk about my mama don't talk about my time like that's what i do more or less see rather don't talk was hysterical nini's impression was hysterical yes so for those of you who've never heard my candy impersonation It goes something like this

See, we're gonna start a play And Riley's gonna be all involved And see, the way I see it is that like I always get it done, so Riley She's like Riley, we have a play tonight See, it doesn't make any sense It's the hardest voice of all time It doesn't sound like candy, it doesn't sound like anything

It just sounds like a It sounds like an old tape That is warped and going fast and slow All at once like candy it doesn't sound like anything it just sounds like a it sounds like an old tape that is warped and going fast and slow all at once sanny d is her name candy impression is still racist she's not an ape first of all learn to spell and learn to like capitalize things when you're typing and second of all if we're so racist why are you listening like the third week in a row sanny d go away and shut up like stop with the racism like there are real races out there go out there and find them and do something meaningful with your

life get the fuck out of here lady yeah there there are definitely ways to listen if there's there are ways to do racist impersonations and mine is just bad impersonating that's all there's a big difference like there's real racism out there. Go fight the real fight. Get the fuck out of here. You're making me fucking crazy at this point. Normally I don't even like commenting on that. And all I would have to say to you is just stop apologizing. Who gives a fuck? Anybody listening to this, you just

need to turn it the fuck off if you're offended. I am an offensive person but even more offensive is the shit that we have to sit here and watch to do this show every week. You know, we sit through like six hours of tribe week after week to watch this. You know what? I hate every fucking race. I understand what God did when he fucking made Noah build that boat and just take animals and then kill all the races.

Okay? Races are terrible. White people are probably the worst out of all of us. Y'all just need to shut the fuck up with this racism bullshit. The only reason why I brought it up is only because Nini did the impersonation, and she basically growled the way I growled, so I felt like Nini's doing it. She did too. I was dying.

But I love how they all have such a finger on Candy too. Don't mess with my mama. See? Can't mess with my mama. Don't mess with my mama. Don't mess with my man. Don't mess with you,. Rather. Don't mess with my mama. Don't mess with my man. Don't mess with you. Rather.

The funny one, too, in Candy Circle is this Don Juan queen. I like Don Juan. He's like the business manager. But I love that he's always, like, seething and furious. He's always about to just go off and start. Doesn't he look like a cartoon? Like, he should be in, like, Looney Tunes. Like, he should be doing that thing where he gets, like, very skinny and puts his hands out. He's like, oh! You know, he should be in, like, Looney Tunes. Like, he should be doing that thing where, like, he gets, like, you know, like, he gets, like, very, like, skinny and puts his hands out.

He's like, you know, looks like he should be doing that. Like, stomping his foot and, like, the candy's, like, Bugs Bunny or something like that. Like, jumping on a carrot. And he's like, see? And he's like, oh, hell no. We don't know what we're doing. We don't even have a place to do this. What are we doing?

She's like, no. Come on, now. I can't even. No. After that whole rant, I will turn racist now. I can't even imitate her. I've tried a million times. I can't. You're going into, like, Fat Albert Mammy territory.

Yeah, Fat Albert. That's my imitation of you doing it. It's Fat Albert. Hey, hey, hey. Don't mess with my mama. Don't mess with Riley. Don't mess with my mama no we're gonna don't mess with my boo oh gosh um no i was just gonna say he is like a little cartoon character with smoke on me out of his ears at all times yes like furious queen he's just like got so much anger built up from whatever childhood trauma he went through that he's just like seething at all times i love it yeah um so the big plot point this week other than peter being

actually being grateful for the free ride he got in life yeah um was that someone decided to go to a vineyard whose trip was this i think this was a may it may have been a, it may have been a, yeah, so basically a group trip, and it was like so many people, I mean even Marlo was there, like everyone under the sun was there, and actually what sort of was hilarious is that like, at certain points it sounded sort of like a luxury

car dealership, they're like, okay, well this is Porsche, this is Lexus, I was waiting for like a minute to come out. There's literally like, literally that Porsche and Lexus were introduced one right after the other. It's Porsche, this is Lexus. This is Escalade. So Candy, Porsche, and what's her bun?

Phaedra. Phaedra were in one car and the rest of them were in the other car. And just listening to them talk shit about the other car was so fucking funny right well it's coming she's still fat it's like oh my god you guys stop it and the poor fat girl was sitting there like just nodding like yeah exactly and then meanwhile oh the other thing is that so they're talking about um natalie who's gonna who meets them there ultimately but in the bus ride in c Cynthia's bus, this is where Cynthia spills the tea about what Natalie had implied about Todd, etc., etc. And then somehow it comes up about Natalie and Charles.

And Kenya starts talking about how she, like, oh, Natalie is a common-law wife. Oh, because they were talking about how they got married. Like, everyone was saying, oh, well, we got married here and we got married there. And they were talking about where Candy's going to get's saying oh well we got married here and we got married there and candy was they were talking about where candy's gonna get married right yeah something like that but then so this new girl was like oh well we got married in vegas we just went straight to vegas and and kenya's like i heard she's like i heard you were a common law wife and it's just like why would you ever say that to someone and why does it matter like that and that's what all the women were saying it was one of those moments where the entire cast except for kenya actually was like had a head on their

shoulders and was like who's business who cares who cares but the best of that kenya says this whole thing like oh i heard you were a common law wife and then about about 30 seconds later he was like well i mean i just want to stay out of it i want to stay out of it like bitch you brought it up you brought it up well think i mean read between the lines why would this guy be telling kenya that his his wife is just his girlfriend i mean read between the lines why would this guy be telling kenya that his his wife is just his girlfriend i mean obviously he's either fucking kenya or trying to fuck kenya so i don't know what she wasn't saying there but she's probably like everybody has fucked everybody else's boyfriend this year so i won't be surprised if that's what it is and you should

kenya should have taken up that opportunity because now she's trying to get pregnant you know she should she should have sown her oats back then. Oh, my God. That's like trying to rehydrate a raisin. I mean, it can soak up some water, but it's just never going to taste the same. You know, squeeze it and just, like, disgusting water is going to come out. You can reconstitute a raisin just fine in some rum. It tastes lovely.

Well, that's actually probably a really good way to put it in this situation yeah uh so yeah that whole fake baby thing is hilarious so well so that gaping hole is just about as likely to produce a happy home as charades you know what baby is going to come out of there it's gonna be whatever creature is in the previews for next week's real house as a beverly hills i don't know if anyone saw that that doesn't even make sense but someone's walking it's like a little golem that's that's what's gonna come out of kenya because kim goes to get to some autograph show like what are you doing it's like when sally field goes across to paramus or whatever so people have her autograph yeah um so we're getting, anyway, so they're talking all this shit about each other.

Kenya starts a war with this girl that she doesn't even know, suggesting that her husband was banging all these people into her and lying about being married to her. And so then Natalie's like, well, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. And so then Kenya, of course, is happy to then say, well, you know, you're also the one who said that Todd is an opportunist. And then that pissed off candy as then candy is defending herself and in the process of defending herself she decides to take down peter of all people it was just like this this wonderful like downward spiral of like clawing women i was very happy with it yeah this show they are probably the most ruthless on this show but they do it in the most fun way and they

always end up just laughing their asses off which is hilarious yeah because at least because on vanderpump rules they're also like they're terrible to each other in the same way but then they're stupid about it like or like really stupid and they're so vile about it that you're just like these are just the the dregs of humanity but with atlanta like in the end it's like candy just standing up waving her hand around being like like, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm the best. Yeah, when she's like, well, my husband, if Todd was climbing

this whole time, then he climbed to the top and he's not going to get any higher than me, so cheers to Todd. Yeah. You go. That was the best answer ever. And I love that Candy is being forced. It seems like recently, but she's really being forced in the past season or two to show her real personality because she's very good at keeping it

you know keeping a lid on it you know yeah she's very calm she's very even-handed if she doesn't like somebody she's very quiet but she's had to read a couple times this year and i've loved every second of it i love her her. Yeah, I agree. So I think basically Natalie, the new girl, she stepped into the wolves' den, and she got her head bitten off, more or less. Yes, and you know what? She deserved it. She had goodwill after getting attacked by Kenya.

Yes. You know, she had Brandy's entire three seasons in one episode. She was a victim. And instead of letting that flower blossom into like a full time job, she fucked it up by going after somebody else for no reason. Although, to be fair, she did not say that Todd was an opportunist and the words were put in her mouth. But by then it was too late. Well, but she did. She did say that Todd Todd was always dating people to get something better in life. She did suggest it.

What I love is that what happens on every episode these days is that someone gossips about something that happened 20 years ago, and then when they get confronted about it later in the episode, they say, well, it's no big deal. It was just 20 years ago. It's like, well, if it wasn't a big deal, why did you bring it up? Yeah, they need something to do. That was my sass

response. Good for Cynthia to have something to say for once. I know, other than fibroids. Yeah, and not fucking your husband. Mal was like, wanna buy some beads? Wanna buy some beads? Mal. She's like, you know who would be really great at this winery?

Beads. That'd be great. Oh, we should have some beads here. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna stay at this winery for two months. I'm gonna do i'm gonna stay at this winery for two months we sell beads people are gonna open up their wine bottles instead of wine coming out it's gonna be beads that's some funny shit so we let's so where are we with atlanta we're done with that shit while we move on to um blood Sweat, and Heels.

Okay, Blood, Sweat, and Heels. I'm loving this show. It's so good. I love that they have intelligent people on a show, even though they're acting like idiots a lot of the time. Yeah, but you know, it's like they're not really being that idiotic. I mean, so Geneva and Demetria had like a coffee where they made up, and it was like a very mature conversation and they stated their points very clearly and they like listened to each other and they were empathetic and they used proper grammar.

I mean, I was like, what network is this? This is not Bravo. If this were Bravo, they'd be making both women and black people look terrible right now. This is insane. I don't understand how this is happening. Yeah, everyone's actually looking really good on this show. Until they go to a party and what's-her-bums. What is that drunk's name?

Mika. Mika. Mika. Mika. Yes, where Mika just gets wasted. She is, I've decided, she is Molly Shannon's character, Helen Madden, the licensed geologist from saturday night live the one who goes on to pretty living and kicks her foot up in the air goes i love it i

love it i love it i love it she even does kind of look like her she does i mean that woman there's one part that there's this party because um geneva uh starting a new position at uptown magazine and so the magazine was throwing her a party. It was like a work event, networking, et cetera, et cetera. And Micah and Melissa Ford proceed to get wasted. And at one point, Geneva, Demetria, Brie, they're all like sort of sitting on a couch. And then Micah just sort of like floats over and just like drapes herself over the back of the couch and starts kicking her legs up in the air and i was like oh my god it's molly shannon this is molly shannon right here i could not stop laughing she's pretty funny and um usually when it comes to sloppy drunks

i get super defensive but i'm really enjoying her yeah i liked when she was like airing out her vagina too oh my god this show i mean this show is so good that again i'm enthralled and i really don't even have anybody to complain about and isn't it a shame if i don't have something mean to say i just can't say anything like i have nothing to say really the only the only one i don't really love is daisy i think she's kind of boring and she's gail she's the worst she's sort of she lacks substance she's sort of annoying she's just she's like a big nothing i'm still i'm still on the side of the super hot guy that she that she went on the date with even though he was a total ass i like that he how he went on this episode when he told

dimitri about it he was like she has no class even though he was the one who was the bigger asshole but i was like yes yes exactly yes that was pretty great yeah that dimitri is fantastic i can't wait to see what she gets into this year. Yeah. No, she's like, she should not be on a trifling reality TV show. She should be having a much better career than this. That woman has no fucks to give. And I love when she...

And she's smart. She's smart, but let's... I mean, look, she's a relationship expert. That's stupid. Yeah. And she's like, we're in media because she has a blog. I mean, do you walk around saying you're in media? Of course not.

I mean, come on. It's like if you handed me a card that was like, Ben Mandelgurt in media. Like, shut up, Ben. You have a blog. We are not in media. We are not Rupert Murdoch. Well, no, but she has written some books. You can say you're in media if you've written books.

I'm sorry. You can do that. Whatever. Whatever. I put my face on a T-shirt once, all right? I'm in media. Yeah. I'm on the internet and on a T-shirt.

Well, she, I don't know. Demetria, I'm a big fan of hers, a big fan. I like where her head's at. She's a little abrasive. You know, she's a little blunt. But, you know, she was. But I like that she can admit it, you know, she's a little blunt, but you know what? She can admit it. You know, she, she did.

And I, I agree. And in fact, I liked it when she said something about like, uh, she made some joke about not admitting her flaws cause it'd make people more annoyed or something like that. You know, I thought that was cool. Like that was, she was like, I really need to work through my, you know, with my ego or whatever. Yeah. When I think Brie was talking to her and being like, maybe you should be the bigger person.

And instead of like, if she were down on Atlanta she'd be like, no, she better come to me. But she's like not an idiot like the clowns in Atlanta and so she's like, I know what you're saying is right, but I have to work through my ego. I was like, whoa, what a, like, oddly mature and self-aware comment

to make for a reality star. Well, my whole point in bringing up her media bullshit is because normally I would hate someone like that normally i would hate somebody who's like i'm a relationship expert and i'm in the media because i have a blog normally i would hate them but she's just such a real girl but i really like her the only one that really makes me crazy at this point is gail king and the girl brie i actually really like her i thought i like her too her because anybody who's like let's pray before dinner like shut up but i really like her yeah in the first episode she was the one who said that women can't lead because they're too emotional and then she had the prayer thing but

then the second episode she explained her position a little bit more clearly and she's actually she seems like very very together and smart and intelligent i don't know what's going on with this show i'm like i'm having the shakes it's so strange intelligent. I don't know what's going on with this show. I'm having the shakes. It's so strange. Smart black women on TV. Smart women on TV. Jesus. Smart women, true. It's ruining their

brand. I don't have much to say about that, but I would love to talk a little bit about Top Chef this week. Have you been watching Top Chef? Yes, I've told you every week I love Top Chef. I know Sure. Have you been watching Top Chef? Yes, I'm telling you, every week I love Top Chef. And I know you hate it, but I love Top Chef.

Well, no, I don't. I mean, I have for most of the season because it's been so boring, but ever since they started drumming up all this crazy drama that's really compared to every other Bravo show, it's not drama at all.

But ever since they got a little drama, now I love it. Now I'm totally down i love that fake drama where they're trying to get everybody to hate the mexican guy who's like the nicest fucking guy in the world well he's done some asshole things though but i think nicholas is an asshole too though i actually this is horrible horrible whiny little human being i hate people like that he's like i never get to see my family really then go to fucking college and get a job where you get home at 5 p.m like yeah thank you you're a chef

and you're working till 2 in the morning and that's why you don't see your family it's not like you're being held prisoner by the man like shut up with that you don't see your family you think your kid's gonna blame applebees in the future no he's gonna blame you so take some responsibility stop whining with your rosacea ass you drunk so over him and he's taking every little thing and he gets to go around saying oh i'm gonna mark these ovens and like marks them with a fucking marker who does that you can't do that he's an asshole i i i don't think he's gonna win i i think that this is up to uh shirley and uh nina you know and those well tom hates him i, I think all the judges pretty much hate him now. Yeah, I mean, he was lucky.

He should have been gone. It's actually been two weeks in a row that he should have been gone. Yeah, he's only here this week because the season was boring and he's been bringing drama. Yeah, I don't even remember. What did Brian do? He made a chicken breast. That's why he went home. Too bad.

Yeah, he made a chicken breast, but what did this guy do? He did something. Oh, hey, his quinoa got burned, so his chicken had no texture, but on top of that, he did a study on carrot. He had carrot six ways in one plate. Didn't he have sushi this week? Wasn't it him who served raw tuna? Maybe. Carrots or something.

Roy Troy, they had to do po'boys, Roy Troy went and like yelled at all of them. Right? Roy Troy's kind of a dick though, right? He is. Like he's so arrogant. Like congratulations, you've served food out of a food truck.

Like only on Top Chef would everybody be like, oh my God, he invented food trucks. You know what, who invented food trucks? Fucking Mexicans downtown in every city ever.

Okay, they invented the food truck. I'm going to give him credit. He kicked. They invented the food truck. I'm going to give him credit. He kicked off the gourmet food truck revolution for sure. He popularized it because I know it did exist before him. He definitely has this whole like, yo, I'm super cool, Roy Troy.

That's indicative of a lot of chefs these days. They just think that they're just like, they do think that they're like Aerosmith or something like that or like the Rolling Stones. Yeah, the celebrity chef. It's super cool that you can cook and it's cool that you're innovative and like, you know, I haven't really had much of Roy Cho's

food and what I've had has been delicious. But like, stop honestly acting like you have girls throwing panties at you, okay? No kidding. At the end of the day, you're fucking Mrs. Patmore. You work downstairs in the kitchen getting flour all over yourself all day to feed the rich people okay daisy daisy how do i use i'm doing orgy bunker sorry i have to use a bowl with a mix of daisy the future's trying to strangle me I agree

I got the sense that he was being cruel for cruelty's sake even though he said he wasn't he was being a dick because he's been on this show before hasn't he and someone was like that guy's a total dick he's just mean and abusive it's like go back to your fucking restaurant on wheels okay get out of here

the thing is that's what his persona is all about he got into a fight with I think it's russ parsons from the la times because he has this uh roy troy just released a book a few months ago called la sun which is like it's a biography uh with recipes scattered throughout and apparently the biography goes from his tough days living in orange county all the way through to when he like joined a gang and all this and that and it ends like right before the Koji truck comes around. And that's the truck that did all this amazing stuff. And so the LA Times, I think, wrote a review,

something along the lines of like, the book is good and everything, but it ends just when it should be getting started. And sometimes it feels like the book really is only to serve, it's to reinforce the thug image that Roy Troy likes to have and then roy troy wrote like a nasty tweet like you totally missed it bro like what the fuck i'm like just

shut up dude you're like 45 stop shopping you get zooks like i can't take you seriously also i told you last week about my friend at the village idiot right who went after the voltaggio boy no did i not tell that story last week i don't think so i was at a i think i did well sorry audience if i've already told this i'm turning into my mother but um i was at the village idiot for a birthday party last week and my friend who just moved here trisha trisha my name is trisha yeah trisha so she's one of my weirdo friends love her been friends with her forever and she's a total weirdo and she gets drunk and embarrassing and I just love it. So we were at this friend's birthday party at the Village of the Idiot. Trisha gets wasted because she's nervous and

doesn't know that many people. And she's like, you know, pulling a full mic, kicking her leg up in the air and walking up to people and be like, are you on TV? Like just being Trisha, you know. So we're outside talking to a smoker friend and and Voltaggio comes out, the punk one, the really cool one, man. So he comes out, and he's with a friend, and Trisha sees him and turns around and goes, Oh, my God! And jumps him, gets on him, starts rubbing him, like, hugging him, like, holding his arms,

wasted, cross-eyed, and going, Oh, my God, you're my favorite villain on Top Chef! It's Bellatogio! He looks mortified. Like, he just wants to run away. And his friend goes, oh, you love him so much, you don't even know his name. His name is Voltaggio, not Bellatogio.

She goes, who cares? You were on Top Chef. She's right. That's my favorite show ever. Who cares what your name is? So he's like peeling her off of him. Like she's like a crazy homeless woman who like sees a nickel.

Okay. So he's like peeling her off and the friend is like trying to get her off. So he's parked right in front of the restaurant and he's like peeling her off and the friend is like trying to get her off so he's parked right in front of the restaurant and he's in this fucking ferrari which is hilarious to me because it's like you know congratulations on your restaurant but you you do not have a ferrari shut up shut up with your rental you're like i was just waiting to see the fucking i'm trying to think of a like the hertz thing on the back. Yeah He gets into his Ferrari and he just sits there in front of the restaurant. Well, I'm dying laughing, you know

Trisha's like what was that embarrassing? Should I be embarrassed? He sits in his Ferrari and he's going On this little tiny side street, you know, on Melrose. I was so sad. I was like, you sad, sad, cross-eyed little man. Like, get over yourself. You're lucky someone fucking recognized you and didn't ask you to bring them an appetizer. Get over it, you blue-collar.

Get over it, Mrs. Patmore. That's how I'm thinking of it now. That's, I mean, that's hilarious. The thing is that, like, all these chefs are such reality whores. They pop up. They are on Top Chef. They're on Top Chef Masters. They're on Chopped.

They're on this with the Food Network, that with the Food Network, Eat, Drink, Love. Anywhere there's a camera, they're going to pop up. I mean, Roy Troy especially. And that's fine. That's what you have to do to keep your brand up and have people come into your restaurant. But then don't be surprised if someone walks up to you and is like, oh, my God. You know? It's like, you're going to pour yourself out. like you're gonna have to fucking deal with it okay if you want a celebrity there's like a million trishas at least trish is funny i mean yeah it could have been a

lot worse it could have been it could have been me a lot worse yeah you could that shit could have been instagrammed all over the world i think there there is a picture of me with Marcel from Top Chef. I think if you do a search for like Ben Mandelker Marcel, Google image search, it pops up. Oh, I had a Marcel run in last week. I think I told you this one. I was driving with my friend in her gigantic brand new Jeep. My lesbian friend who has to drive like a car the size of a bus because that's a lesbian thing to do. And he passed in his little Jeep, like his little used Jeep. And he was giving us a dirty look.

And I was like, why is that guy giving us a dirty look? So I talked to him at a laundromat once. I mean, Jesus. And she goes, it's not us. It's the Jeep. And I was like, oh my God, you're so right. He's totally body checking our Jeep.

Oh, snap. These little men on Top Chef, get over yourselves. It's like Patsy says to the girl. It's like Adina says to the girl on AFAB, you're working a shop girl, you can drop the attitude. Well, you know, I think they have like, I think some of them, I may be a pop psychologist here and make some generalizations based on very little concrete information. And I'm going to say that I think a lot of these people actually

have some anger issues. Because if you look at whenever they do their biographical things they're always like yeah i wasn't much of a student i hated going to school i was like doing drugs uh i wasn't like i was failing everything and then like i found food and saved my life and i've been and i never went to college i went right into the kitchen so i think usually when you have people who are dropping out of school, turning to drugs, whatever, there's usually a little bit of a storm brewing inside of them. And I don't think that – food doesn't actually make it go away. I think maybe it gets channeled into the food. So that's probably why they have these attitudes.

That's why I think these cooking shows have become so popular because anyone who's worked in a restaurant knows. I mean I've worked in restaurants my whole whole life and chefs are just angry fucking people. Everyone knows it. Like, it's so rare to meet a chef that's not angry and doesn't have issues. And you're there 12 to 14 hours a day working your ass off. And it is an art, you know, and it is a skill. And I get it.

I mean, I definitely respect chefs, but TV chefs are a whole different thing. Like, you are not in the kitchen for 24 hours a day working your ass off for $5 an hour, you know, in a thankless job that no one ever even sees your fucking face. Okay. You're on,

you're like whoring yourself on TV while you're paying someone $5 an hour to cook your shitty food for you. Yeah. So shut up. That being said, uh, ink sack is a really tasty sandwich shop. That's Michael Veltaggio.

It is. I was going to go there's michael voltaggio it is i was gonna go there but the only vegetarian thing they had was like some tofu sandwich with mayonnaise on it i was like that sounds delicious thanks no well how about you just stop being vegetarian i don't know because now it's now it's gross and everything it doesn't taste the same once you get used to not eating it it's not it's not a moral thing you know that i have no morals i'm rolling my eyes so okay diet and then then i ate chicken and it tasted like cardboard then i ate barbecue and it tasted like blood it's just gross i don't like it now all right well speaking of gross things let me just

touch on the shahs of sunset really quickly because you are not watching it anymore correct yeah you know it's like i said to chicken you You're disgusting, and I'm not eating you. So many innocent people have died to give you a chance to let me eat you, and it's not worth it. You're gross. Well, okay. So I am still watching it. I'm really enjoying it.

This Gigi and MJ war continues to wage on. And let's see. This week they went down to Del Mar to the races, and it was hilarious because they all got into a limo outside my building so for anyone who wants to see what my building looks like just go to that scene of shah's sunset and watch them all pile into their limo and mine is the gray building and um i don't know there was just like there was a there was a big drunken fight between m and Gigi. And I seem to remember it came down to Gigi just babbling on and MJ saying over and over again something like, Walk away, Golnessa. Walk away. Walk away. Walk away. Walk away. Walk away. Golnessa, walk away. Golnessa, walk away. Golnessa June. Gigi, walk away walk away Golnesa walk away Golnesa walk away

Golnesa June GG walk away like literally for like 5 minutes I'm just like is this how I'm spending my time and I'm like yes this is and I'm so happy that I'm doing it it was good Mike and Reza have they've squashed their beef

that's so person what was their beef because I saw that on the commercials, and I was like, oh, there goes Mustache betraying another friend for no reason. Yeah, their beef was that when Reza went off on the gay guy in the club in East Hollywood, you know, the... She's a bad guy!

And Mike stood up for the guy, because the guy wasn't doing anything wrong. Then Reza was mad at Mike. And then Mike was mad at Reza for being mad at him. And then Mike was also mad at Reza because Mike has not been doing well with the business and he's hurting financially. It's like a whole bunch of stupid shit.

I saw on the commercial Reza was saying, Mike has betrayed me. He stabbed me in the back. Well, he says that because of of like the gay guy he's like mike is like like he's not your friend like he's a stranger i am your friend i am your friend i can't believe somebody didn't stand behind me when i was calling them faggot in open on national tv that's crazy that's so persian um so gross i saw the episode i started with because i was going to have this big shaw's catch-up day so i could talk about it on the podcast with you and it was the

episode where uh he goes to see a psychiatrist who specializes in gay rage yeah which i think it's hilarious and probably should see him also but uh he was like making himself the victim in this whole thing and i was like you know what i can't with this like that guy is so mean and horrible and now he's like a bigot against his own fucking people and now i have to feel sorry for him shut up so i turned it off again yeah that's probably a good idea i i am still enjoying it though um i think on tonight's episode, Gigi calls MJ a big fat cow or something like that. So, you know,

fun stuff. Fun, mature stuff all around. Just your standard. I will say this. By the way, here's a side note. Speaking of cooking, etc., etc., you know, in the beginning of last week's episode, Asa made a little lunch for Gigi and MJ and temporarily

they all made peace. And the food that she made looked delicious. And I was like, Asa, you're so stupid. You're sitting here focusing you're trying to make diamond water a thing or Persian pop priestess or tarantulas. I actually feel like if Asa came out with a cookbook or moved

her specialty into Persian food or something like that, that's something i would actually like be interested in you know because i actually feel like she has authority in that area i mean would you i think she should make leggings for fat people it's like those kind of leggings that don't like overly stretch over the hips because those are terrible i feel like big people deserve leggings that fit too and i think that that would be a perfect business for her or like silencers maybe like gun silencers or mufflers for cars anything that quiets things down because every time i see her i just want things to be quiet she she should sell nose necklaces i you know meanwhile that's probably like a very like sacred or traditional Persian like piece of jewelry that I'm like. She should sell bandito bandanas made out of gold.

She should sell front stoops that have $30,000 worth of gold hidden below them. Yeah, she should sell shovels and call them like Wells Fargo shovels. Just dig holes places and bury your parents' money there. Yeah. All right. Yeah, she should sell shovels and call them Wells Fargo shovels. Just dig holes places and bury your parents' money there. Yeah. All right. I'm trying to think. There was something with Lily, too.

Oh, there was an issue with Lily because Lily can go back to Iran whenever she wants because she didn't leave as a refugee. But Asa can't because her family, they were refugees. And Lily's like, I don't understand what the big deal is. Just like going back to Iran. And, you know, Asa did not appreciate that. Well, are they keeping this gay guy on?

Is he? Sasha? Yeah. We haven't seen anything of Sasha recently. We're gearing up for the big trip. Everyone's going to go to Turkey Because that's as close as they can get to Iran Without being in Iran

So it's going to be a big group trip to Turkey Except for Lily Lily will probably just go into Iran Because she can go there Hi guys I'm bringing Fluffernutter Pooper Scooper into a run with me because it's such a free country.

He didn't run. Um. She's like, can I bring my friend Pooper, Skipper, Fluffy, Peanut Wiener into a room, please. Does he have clearance?

It's so fun being a horrible person. I know. I know. And so to anyone who's listening to this and making judgments about what i really like in real life i'm sorry to disappoint you all right so that should end us up right you have anything else you want to add before we do no no no my brain has sufficiently melted it's like a it's like a nice baked brie at the moment. Yes, I'm exhausted and punchy. It's time to end.

So thank you everybody so much for listening to another week. Go buy your GoDaddy domain using the code name CRAPPINS and enter the contest and we will build a Bravo related website for you. And Tara, don't forget to send me your information at ronnie at trash.tv.com so I can

build Shut Up Mountain from last year. It's $3. trash.tv.com so i can build shut up mountain from last year it's three dollars godaddy.com use the code word crappins um i'll play that again at the end but anyway you can find us on facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crappins come talk to us you guys have been cracking me up during this podcast reading all of your comments um and i started reading them again damn it bloop bloop, bloop. It's saying bloop, bloop. So come there to talk to us during the week. You can also tweet us at WhatCrappins, although your best bet is Facebook.

You can find me at TrashTweetTV.com. My name is Ronnie K. there. I write Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, and there's a lot of really great recaps there during the week. You can tweet me at TrashTweetTV or at RonnieKeram on Twitter. You can find Ben at B-Side Blog on all the social media outlets. Twitter, his Instagram is really

good, Facebook, and you can also find his website at B-SideBlog.com. It's the best entertainment website of 2013, you guys. It was totally voted up by LA Weekly for reals. So go find that and read up. And we will see you next time. Thanks, everyone, for listening.

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