Watch What Crappens - #1140 Below Deck: Unstung Zeroes

Episode Date: January 21, 2020

Alexis Bellino finishes up her thirsty Below Deck trip without a ring, and Rhylee comes at the boys "got it"s ablazin'. Who will end this episode stung the hardest? For this week's bonus about lamps and the alphabet, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. *** Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor", "Twerp", "Dork", "When Life Gives You Tacos Make Taco Salads" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Detroit, Columbus, Austin (late show added!), Houston, NOLA, Birmingham, NOLA, Lawrence KS, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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already we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva no one can do it like Andrea do it yes we can with howly Carolyn and Ann somebody get us ten C. C.s of Betsy MD! Nancy C. C. C. I'm Ronnie Caram from the Bachelor Rost podcast. Oh, really? Thanks. Sorry, got a little backwards there. And here I am with Ben Mantelka, the gorgeous and talented creator and writer and actor of Real Housewives of Kitchen Island, which is a cartoon on YouTube. You guys check out if you don't already.

It's hilarious. I'd be in. Thank you. Hi, how are you? Good. We've got some very special announcements today. We are going to be going to San Diego, California, and Louisville, Kentucky. San Diego is going to be Friday, May 5th.

Nope. May 8th, 2020, which is the current year now. And then Louisville is going to be June 26th. And that's going to be at Headliners' Music Hall. If you guys want tickets for those, pre-sale on Patreon is going on right now. So if you're a Patreon member, just go over to Patreon for your links for that and they go on sale Friday to the public. So again, that's May 8th in San Diego, California at the observatory north park and then Friday, June 26 in Louisville, Kentucky at the Headliners' Music Hall. So go get your tickets now on Patreon or Friday for everybody over at watchupcrapins.com, your Find Lakes. Also this week we are going

to be in Detroit and Columbus. Our next shows will be live from there. We'll be doing Vanderpump rules in Detroit and then Real Housewives of New Jersey in Columbus. So again, tickets watch at Crappens.com. And guess what? We have tons of places we're going to be going for the rest of the year. So just to get through this, listen for your cities because there's a lot of them ready Austin, Texas, Houston, Hoover, Alabama, New Orleans, Lawrence fucking, Kansas, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Madison, Oklahoma City, Azri Park, Washington, DC, San San Francisco and Boston So go get your tickets everybody. We can't wait to see you guys there. I know I you know Louisville You know on the heels of top chef Louisville top chef Kentucky. I'm actually really excited to go to Louisville I've never been there before and I want to get a hot brown and like I don't know I might even be I could be coaxed into trying to stock Sarah who was a finalist from top chef Kentucky and has a restaurant there in Louisville who knows I might go crazy I don't know why that's appealing to anyone

but to me it is I'm appealed by myself you love a you love a food trip I do I do love be a very good one yeah exactly and you know it'll be very very fun so yeah come got some, I'll be gonna say it comes to you guys, but I got tripped up with my own words much like you did at the top of the show. There must be something in the air. Maybe it's just, I don't know, on my end,

it's frustration with the men on Blodeck. Oh God, there's plenty of that to go around. Geez. Oh my God. Never mind. Never. I could just could not. I could not even believe it's just it's endless. These guys are so awful on the show.

So terrible. Yep. And you know, Andy's having one of them on tonight. He's having Ashton on or I think that way. What is tonight? He's having him on tonight. There was a last night. I'm not sure.

I haven't been watching what happens. I just read that Ashton will be showing his face on there, which you know, Andy loves to celebrate someone who should be swept under the rug. So nice work. Nice work with that one. Totally deserve it. Ashton. I really, I hope there's a reunion for this season because there's so many questions that I need to see asked. I like, you know, I just, I need questions to be asked and answered. Just for the whole season in general, but really these guys have really become such schmucks. And it's not like, you know, the women are totally innocent, but but the guys are just They're just terrible. Yeah, they're monsters And I can guarantee if they do have a reunion one of our favorite questions will be asked

Hey, love your boobs where'd she go? I'm stuck about those It would be worth it just to see Kevin stuck on an uncomfortable stool in the clubhouse, you know like an uncomfortable stool in the clubhouse, you know, like, Joseph, Mr. Dolbson, you can't get us a proper kill. John, you know, I'm a shifka growing out loud. Oh, God, Kevin gets worse. Worst and worse terrible. He is so conceited.

And so just that, I think that the, the issue that I have, a lot of these guys is how condescending that they are to the women and really how sort of like they, I know, well, you know, we'll come up. What we will address, we will address it all in time because there's a lot to see and talk about. So we open on the second day of Charter and Kevin. Oh, my bag. Yeah, he, he's like pulled his back, he pulled his back last

episode while doing provisions for the Alexis Bellino Charter. And so he is now down in the crew mess and his back has seized up and uh, uh, Teh is taking care of him and trying to help him and everything and he's taken a pain killer. Um, which to me, it's a little odd that he just has like a full on pain killer on board. And like, I'm not odd. I know people have pain killers, but it's odd to me. It's odd that he has like a stash of painkillers on the yacht.

Well, it's odd, it's odd depending on the kind of painkiller it is. Is this like an extra strength Tylenol? Right, that's not odd. Valium, it's Valium of painkiller. I mean, I know it's a real large percentage. It's a, I want to say tranquilizer, but it's a, it's not a painkiller, but it's a muscle relaxant, I know it's a real life. I want to say tranquilizer, but it's not a pain killer, but it's a muscle relaxant, I think.

I don't know. Well, normally I'd suggest everybody carry pain killers wherever they go, just because, you know, so this is a chronic pain. Yeah, yeah. But when it's Kevin, I say throw him off the boat. I know that. I think it's just because it's Kevin,

so I'm just suspicious of anything. I'm like, why does he have socks? That seems odd to me I'm just I'm turning into that. I've just got my pitch fork out. I'm gonna take on anything I know I'm I'm gonna be relentless. I feel like I'm just mad minute. Tizzy. Well, this is a fucking disaster I'm the only one knows who's no shit about the galley. I've owned over 10 restaurants over the past 20 years And I'm pretty goddamn good on a goddamn grill goddamn it. What were these restaurants? Yeah I really need to know. What did you serve can I have a copy of every single menu thanks? It was called Captain Lee's Barn Grill and I would add serve them but I'd

serve people is a plate of you better clean this the fuck up I'm not gonna babysit you in your plate that's what I serve them. You got time to lean you got time to clean Cheerios. $2.00. I called it the Cheerio buffet I had only one kind of Cheerio but I had in different sort of bins and I'd see what these idiots would do thinking that there were all different types of flavors. God damn it so it's such dumb people. A little salty window omelette. Yes, me. Salty window omelette, yeah. The grants. Slime it.

Uh huh. Uh huh. Grants. Moon over my hammy emphasis on hammy. Actually, I called it moon over my ass because that's what you'll need in order to get out of the restaurant That's actually the full title. It's all in there on the menu It's a full three three line title for that egg dish delicious

Yeah, I'll tell you one thing we were out of it every single goddamn one of my restaurants Baby centers My restaurant was sort of my restaurant was sort of unique when you were done eating you would not get a bill You would just get a one-way ticket out the hell of the door. And it was like hard to make him out. And he's like, God damn it. We've had to buy 1900 Southwest tickets this past month. We haven't brought in any money.

Turns out that people figured out how to scam us. They come in the order of both Cheerios and actually know they're flying them off to Abercorky. Can't help it. So yeah, Taz helping Kevin and Ashton's like what's the contingencies plan and where do I stick my dick in there? Could you point me towards it? I think it'd be great. So yeah, so now we like out on the deck, Alexa Center gang are taking photos,

all, like, sure list guys and stuff, and then Anker is dropping, and then Kevin has sort of, like, yeah, he's curled up on the bench and test, helping him up and everything, and Kevin's basically, like, like, listen, there's no one else who can do this, so, you know, I'll just have to do it,

because, yeah, because when they're like, what's the contingency plan? Actually, where they ask, what's the contingency plan? They cut to Courtney, putting a cure again the machine. Like, this is the contingency plan. Courtney, cake cups. Cake cups. Like, um, our chef is down. So I meet you some espresso. I hope you like Irish cream flavor because that's all we have left. So then, Ashton's like, all right, Raleigh, you can take a break and Tannet, you can go down to it and Raleigh's like, okay, I don't give a fuck anymore, god damn it. Every time Raleigh turns away, she's just cursing everybody out. Everything, every single thing.

It's like, well, it's a beautiful day today. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. So Kevin's like, okay, would you like to run day in dinner now? And she's like, I would love that. Love that idea. So, parfable? Yeah, you look like you're in a lot of pain. So let's make this as long as possible.

Yeah, let's speak slowly. And have you stand up on your feet as long as possible. That'd be great. Thanks. And upstairs in the hot tub, Alexis is all over her guy and she's like, um, okay, let me remember what to do. I need to wear red for the red party. And he goes, um, do you need to take notes? Yeah, why is that? I just noticed that. We did not address this guy talks like this. Yeah, we did not address this last week. I noticed it last week, but for some reason,

we did not address that he has witness protection voice, you know. He does these just a shadow on Jerry's spring hair. I know. Do you have pen and paper? Just, how long that feels like a pen? Not a compliment, Alexis. Is that a pen in your pocket? or are you just happy to see me?

I'm gonna raise your mate. So literally in a race for me, I will raise your mate. Jimboly now. So yeah, so Brian meanwhile, he's still all in a fuss about Courtney because he's just being totally kind of sending to being, you know, he was a dick to her last week, being like, so we're just having fun, right? And she's like, you know, you know, so they're really not talking.

Yeah. And so the producer asked Brian, wait, so you guys even having sex? The producer sounds hilarious, by the way, I've never heard that voice. All right, that's even having sex. This is Riley, Riley with a mustache and glasses. Hi, I'm your producer,

by Lee. You guys having sex or what? If you're thought about fucking Riley, she give you a night you wouldn't forget, huh? He's like, not a doll. So then Alexis is alone now with her man and he's like, oh, she says, Andrew, are you getting down on what need tonight?

He just looks away. He's just trying to decide which deck will be the best one to jump off of. Thirsty Alexis, my God. So then Kate is, you know, everyone's just work, work, work, work. It's like confirming the 10 33rd year, hmm? Yeah.

And they're talking about how they're having an independent theme party. Should we get it? You're divorced. You were trying to help the boyfriend was the first clue. All right. Jesus. Yeah. Reverse her.

Antaia. Okay. Can we have the party inside? Because it's like my first shower today, so I really need the AC. Okay, it's like, oh I think that's a lovely idea. I'm excited and then it just cuts to her saying to us, I really hit it when the guests want to eat inside. I'd take so many showers because I've been fucked by a dream so many times.

So Brian passes Courtney in the hallway and he's just like, whistling. Yeah, it's awkward. Not awkward at all. And she just ignores him. And he's like, cool, it's just,

hi. Hi. And then meanwhile, Kevin is like just in severe pain in the kitchen. He's like, oh, Mr. Thompson, oh, must be strong for data. And Kate and Kate and Courtney are like working on decor.

She's like, yeah, I think that we should wear little gold medals, you know, like patriotic. Like, we want. And Courtney goes, yes. Do it. Yes. 100%. Later Tanner's doing dishes.

And he's like, hey, Kate, with the next time I can come with your room Huh, huh? Don't talk to me Jesus Just like please not in public So then also Ashton tells the Deccans I want you old put the K-2 so some of you gonna go down and then I want you to put the K-2 all on the Dicks And won't you in the am and I was like fuck I don't want to write this down But for some reason I feel like it's gonna be important to to know that Ashton wants the deck hands to wipe the deck

down with the K2R in the morning. I feel like this will be important. And sure enough, it becomes an issue. Oh, really? Well, because that's all like, yeah, we will. I'm just like laying the groundwork that there could be a K2R issue with the decks. So Ashton is like so Simone, what do you think of these mate mate's? And she's like, who are these papy you referring to? Kay, they're a guy who you want named you give me the other own G. And he's like a Tanner and she's like,

oh my God, what a fucking asshole, Jesus. And she's basically like, I'm pissed at Tanner. He is a douchebag, but I can't show it because otherwise I'll be interpreted as me having feelings for him. So again, another like a situation where the women on this show have to basically shut up. Otherwise, you know, their workspace will be hell.

I mean, you shouldn't, you can't use gross. I don't know if I say I say Tanner's gross, no, was to be hooking up a Tanner. Gross. No, no, no one should ever, ever be hooking up with them. It's like hooking up with like some sort of like disease written gumby. I don't know, it's like not right. So the captain comes out and his, uh, his, uh, new floral shirt. Mm-hmm. His blue floral shirt instead of his gold floral shirt.

Yeah. And everyone applaud to him and stuff. And then, uh, Riley and Tanner talking. She's like, um, good news. We could do the main ast since they're having dinner inside. And he's like, oh, but if they go outside, after this pillow, go hold them. What are we going to do? She's like, well, I'm going to go ahead and just do it while they're having dinner inside. And he's like, oh, but if they go outside after and spill alcohol, then what are we gonna do?

It's like, well, I'm gonna go ahead and just do it while they're eating dinner. Yeah, this is the K2R issue that I was speaking of. This is the wash that Ash wanted them to do this after tonight. And so now Riley's saying, let's do it now, because they're eating. And Taylor's like, no, because what they spill.

So then, so then Taylor's like, so well, he asked him, do you want us to spray during dinner? And he goes, let's save it for after. So, you know, of course, it's basically shutting down Riley. But did you notice that Ashton didn't know how to answer because he didn't know who was on what side? That's true. He did look very good.

I don't want to be on Riley's side, but I'm not sure which side she's on so After and he's like yeah, all right fine. Yeah Yeah Classic K2R fight so yeah, so then meanwhile Kate is still sort of like Baiting whether or not she's gonna hook up with Tanner and she's like, you know, I would never break roll code like, baiting whether or not she's gonna hook up with Tanner and she's like, you know, I would never break Girl Code.

But Tanner's no longer hooking up with someone and plus someone's been kind of annoying me. So my Girl Code is sort of slipping these days. So, sorry. That's how they're flirting, Kate and Tanner, like playing with each other's ears and stuff. Back away. Man.

Really not cool. Really not cool. So then Kevin's like, go ahead, you got the jokes for me to pull the beers? It's like I'm didn't know anything about Jackson. So yeah, nope Yeah, we had discussed those so no, we can't do these like we're gonna get them She's like no because they're locked in a cabinet across the dining room where they're all eating right there In that space and it's unprofessional. I can't do it I will flirt with Tanner right in front of you

just to upset you more. And it works, he's like, okay, so check that out, Rodney. She doesn't even know how to check that she is. She'd rather flirt with Tana, than help me. It would be when I'm deep in the water, but I like that's just kind.

I'm like, listen to your douchebag. You're not deep in the water, okay? It just means that you have to pour the soup in the kitchen instead of table-side. That's not called being deep in the water. Okay, it just means that you have to pour the soup in the kitchen instead of table-side. That's not called being deep in the water. Yeah, he just has the thing against plating. Yeah, then again, if you wanted it to be, you know, served table-side, then you should have said that

because it's now like, it's in the cabinet. She can't go like pulling plates out while they're eating dinner right there. And so they're all eating the soup and Alexis is like, it's so good. She just like rose her head back and starts cracking up. Like she's always on the cover of a Julia Roberts movie poster. I know. I think it was the first time she'd ever had soup to be fair.

What? You can actually drink food? So she's just like cracking herself up like pretty woman out there. She just keeps doing it. It's like everything she says, she's like, but her upper face won't move. It's just like her jaw will like drop it down. She's probably afraid to go in your little velvet boxes. I don't want, I like my fingers. I want to give them safe. So Simone and Riley are making a bed because Riley's always doing every other job. She's like,

just after work or kill a man. So she's working and Simone's like, uh, Afton asked me to fill about another bread and the aunts or a boatmine. And she's working and Simone's like, uh, Ashden asked me to feel about another bread nots or a boatmine. And she's like, well, I mean, you already knew they kissed in you. She's like, no. Which I think is a little over dramatic for what happened. It's basically like they were in that van and tan or a kiss to kid on the lips or whatever. It was not like they had some passionate, you know, what's that phrase in Flagorante? Whatever.

You know, the point is it was like a pack on the lips during the worst van ride of the season. Yeah, and Riley's like, well, Simone's saying Kate's evil. She's so fucking evil for doing that. And Riley's like, It's a good thing you didn't go further because honestly, he's a fucking moron. Yeah, she's a screw you, Kate. She's evil. And then someone's like, how am I always the last person to find out about these things? I'm like, uh, well, let's look at how you make ice coffee. Let's see, sometimes you're just not always up on, you know, things.

Yeah. So Alexis is like, um, your crew has chocolates on our pillows. And this one is eating my chocolate every night. It's okay. It keeps me skinny and it keeps him big and safe. I can't wait to get off this boat. I'm swear to god. I can't wait to get off this fucking boat. I got my free trip and then I'm done. She's like, this is my first venison I will ever eat my entire life. Amazing, very special moment that Captain and Slaps Hams with a boyfriend and he goes, tre-wism. Yeah, I did not know what was happening there. Captain Lee also goes, it's a unique blend of flavors. I was like, is this a commercial for a new frozen venison that is going to be available

in a store near you? What a unique blend of that. Wow, can this venison be cut into little circles that you can put into milk? No? Okay. So Courtney pulls Brian aside and she's like, um, can I talk to you? I don't want to fight anymore. And he's like, oh, I was that so hard? Was that so hard?

Yeah, look how easy that was to say something not in text message for him. Yeah. Yeah. Then meanwhile upstairs, Kevin's serving up dessert, which is a lemon meringue with coffee chocolate soil. Uh, I'm sorry. I feel like that does not quite work. As someone who didn't eat it, I'm gonna say I don't think it works. I don't think lemon and chocolate are really besties. Kevin.

Lemon and chocolate? You know Liky? Orange and chocolate. But lemon and chocolate, I don't think it's like a classic dessert combination. Well here's what I'll listen to, the boyfriend, he went like this. Okay. It was like the original Baleena marriage. Okay. The chocolate the chocolate soil got a chin and a band. Yeah. So, okay, it's like oh my god, Kevin. They loved it. Yeah, I five. So then Tanner

Tanner goes a Riley they guess to finish with dinner meet me on deck. She has copy. What a fucking moron. Yeah, because they could have been what they could have watched the deck the entire time. Like if they had followed her, they followed her advice, they would have been done already. I mean, he guess he had a point because, you know, what if they did go out, what they spill would be a waste, but then they would have to just be waiting anyway. I'm really very invested in this deck situation. This is a fight like I just can't. I'm like, what are we sweet? I'm really into it.

So then out of nowhere, Simone just breaks a whole bunch of glasses. And Kiko's, she's like, not that I care, but how that happened. Simone's like, OMG! Like, I was holding him and then I was walking and then they fell. And Kasek, oh! Wow. And someone says, now I can see the person K is.

I don't respect this. Go ahead and laugh bitch. No one told me that there was such a thing called gravity. Why am I always the last one to know? And then randomly we just see a shot of Tanner going, Jimily quick it. Yeah. So now it's the final day of the charter

and it's the morning and Kevin feels better. His back has improved and everyone's waking up and it's like 8 a.m. But Tanner is not getting out of bed. He's just lying there. Just by the way, who's alarm going off and off and he just stays in bed. And Alexis is telling Courtney,

you know what, this is way too much tomato juice in this bloody Mary. So can I have vodka in a shorter cup to bed in here? Like a shot shot Alexis. Can I have one of those like baby glasses full of vodka to be put in there? That'd be great. So holy anchor, holy anchor. And Riley has to go under the boat because someone's still sleeping. Mm-hmm. And Riley's piss. She's like, you know what, because Tan is a dude, and one of the boys, he gets away with murder.

It's true. And so then Captain is talking to Ashton. He's like, so how are things with Riley, God damn it? And Ashton's like, much better. When we're working together, only took a whole season, right kid. So then the guest upstairs are ordering from Courtney for breakfast orders and someone's like, I want an omelette with three eggs.

I want an omelette with five eggs and one guy goes, I'll have an eight egg omelette with cheese and Courtney is like, ew, no one's eating eggs, it's just weird. I feel like they're trying to torture the chef on purpose. This egg order was insane. It's like one sunny side up, one hard over easy, one, one hard boiled, one eight egg omelet, one 19 sparrow only sparrow eggs on that one. Sparrow. Every single thing was done totally differently. I just would not like, you know, that's eight eggs. That's too much. I would not want to be near that person a few hours because there will be some stinky egg

Farps coming out of them and that's just rude to do an electric yacht. I thought he was doing it because it's like I work out a lot so I'm gonna have 19,000 eggs So but then Kevin put it on like a half a loaf of bread So yeah, I was like after I was really fast in to see what an eight egg omelette was gonna look like But then it looked like a giant scramble and they serve it into like yeah, and like here what an eight egg omelette was going to look like. But then it looked like a giant scramble. And they serve it into like, yeah, and it like, here's your eight egg omelette. And like, does anyone else know that that's a scramble? Because that's really bottom line omelette. Thank you for noticing that, Ronnie.

I felt very seen. Of course, I used to work the line. I'm horrified of egg orders. Yeah. No one understands how difficult egg orders are. Okay. Eggs, yeah. They're Very particular.

Because eggs are actually surprisingly tricky to cook. If anyone remembers that, a season of Top Chef, where the very first episode, they had to like prove that they could cook. And so bunch of them had to make omelettes, and then they all fucked up their omelettes. Eggs are hard. Burt, charred.

Rubbery egg. They had to make omelettes for Wolfgang Puck, I think. Yeah, that's one of my favorite gale moments when she got mad about an egg. I've never seen her so angry. Like still. And that was season two. She's like, that was a burnt charred. Brewery egg.

So then the captain is watching Tanner and Brian work and he's like wait for it wait for it and they job he's like Ha ha ha, God gives me every time. And then Riley is just muttering so much as whatever. She's mad at horns. So then the guests are out there later and the captain's like, wait for it. Oh my god! It's going to be door laughing.

Oh god, it feels good to laugh again. So now they're like docking and Kate sees, it looked like a giant, it looked like a tugboat that was made to look like a boat shoe, but it was actually somehow a yacht and it looked like a tugboat that was made to look like a boat shoe, but it was actually somehow a yacht and it was also Kate's first boat and she's like oh yeah there it is look at all the memories I had sex on the boat all my students mess ups were on that boat meaning that they were there and they were contained to it and they did not follow me around Simone if you're listening oh did you just break some more glasses okay I guess lots of clean that up last time I saw that better I was being fired in the Bahamas. I

mean it's like seeing your last long love on accident out of town. So the guest pack and Kate goes over there oh wait first to get the guest say bye right? Yeah guys like oh thank you guys we'll lovely a trip to beyond. Still not marrying Alexis here's your money. Yeah, that is basically Alexis's money, but I'm gonna hold it and I give it to you and then maybe bang her one last time and then disappear into the middle of the night so it's thank you. So the crew is having lunch downstairs and Riley comes in and she's like, I'm just over here at the sink, anybody need anything while I'm over here? And no one answers her. She goes negative. Got it.

Got it. Got it. Negative. So then she gets whatever. She like puts together her plate. And then she goes over to the spoof, the big booth. And she's like, um, can you guys get over? And they all just like do a combination of looking her at her

blankly slash ignoring her and to be fair Courtney and Simone were there but also to be fair no one moves except for Courtney. Courtney's like I'll skit. Okay, only because it's my favorite word to say skit is not a good word. Okay, I'm going to skit. So, so Courtney slides over and Riley goes appreciate that. That's really nice.

Well, it's because the table is being bookended by two of the guys. Yeah. So they wouldn't move. So it's like it doesn't matter if anybody in the middle moves, you know, like no one would move. It's like, yeah, nice. And then it's like, go ahead, go ahead, Riley. Go ahead and sit.

I need my elbow room. So he gets up and goes to sit at the like counter chair. Yeah. And Simone's like, I feel bad for them. They're like, mean kids on a playground too. And Riley just leaves. She's like, fuck this. Yeah, she just goes to her room to eat and ask him, just ask him

grooms. He's like, oh god, this is going to be a bad day. This is going to be a bad, Riley day. Well, it didn't have to be a bad day if you guys just treated her with like some like a modicum of respect once in a while. So by the other boat, by the memory boat, Kate is smoking and checking out the boat, walking down the dock and she's like, God, I was such a bad stewardess. I've come such a long way and I think it's very special for it to be showing up in Thailand, you know. But also, I can't be yelling forever. I think I'm ready for a new adventure. No Yeah, I don't like that Kate never say that again

Stay on this show because we cannot have maybe nervous It made me nervous that next season will be like a new first two But then she'll probably have to quit or something made way through and then Kate will be back Well, you better try to put that stunt. Yeah, you better cut that crap. I don't like it Yeah, so now it's time for the crew meeting and they all get their tip, but like $17,000 and Captain Lee's handing it all out and he gives his bundle of cash to Riley and he goes,

nice job, rang Lee. I was like, ooh, that was his way of burning the guys a little bit. I was like, yeah, Captain Lee, I like that, pacifaggression, I like it. Well, so they're cleaning and then Tanner's like, hey, Brian, you went pick a sick break and Riley watches them while she's working with Ashley.

I was like, seriously? Maybe I should take up smoking and then I could take 20 minute breaks and relieve the stress from working on a yacht. Your comments are not being constructive right now, Roy Lee. They're not being constructive because, yeah, no, they're not. Because my comment was made was just out of jest. Kind of like your comments and they showed a flashback

of when they were all basically racking on Riley. And she's, so my not allowed to make comments out of jest. Am I not, I can't make a comment out of jest. Huh, got it, get it, got it, get it. She is ready to go for it. She's like, we're fighting today. I don't care where we do, we're fighting today. Anybody?

I'm fighting. Dude, hey. When Ashton told her you're not being constructive, today. I don't care where we do it. We're fighting today. Anybody? I'm fighting. Today. Because Ashin told her you're not being constructive because you're not being constructive. You know, I'm not gonna stand for it. And he goes, if this is going to be your attitude, it is my attitude. It is my attitude. Well, you're good at an attitude that's going to be bad for everyone. So I'm going to give you a break and let you calm down. Oh, you know what? The best thing for me would be to clean by myself away from you guys. That's what would be best for me.

Okay? Great. So then you can clean by yourself. Great. So when where should I go clean by myself? I'm like, you're just arguing everything that you say. He's literally giving you the break that you're basically asking for and you don't want. And now you're like, I don't want it. I'm going to clean by myself.

Okay. Well, you can clean by yourself. Oh, really? I have to clean by myself now. Where should I do this? Where should I do this? Yeah. He walks off. Restraint is in. She's like, oh,

Perhaps she can suggest firing me again didn't work out for you last time you asked Don't mind me. I'm just cleaning by myself and not on break So then Ashton runs to the boys of course. He's like Tana. Don't be rant-ish. She's's asked to work alone. I'm just done with her and they all start cracking up And Tana's like, she's like a shimping bottle of new years. You shake it and you shake it and you know, I'm the where it's gonna pop Don't shake it. You idiot How about this? You hold it like a human being and twist the top off carefully and it pops lightly into your palm and Then some of that like mist comes out but there's no mess.

No, you do it like on the bachelor you shake it then you open it and then you drink it with your mouth all the way over it so it explodes right in your face and you get it some more in space. It's time for commercial. It's time. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego

in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. happens commercial Okay, so perfect the preference meeting so captains like charter number nine Well sports broadcaster from CNN for 10 years and it's an all-lady trip and actually goes Cooply that Shut up asked it another nine ladies are not gonna get any from okay

Seriously, so it's you know I actually never know how to say her name because I don't watch sports center anymore that much and I definitely know who this woman is and I I feel like if you read some of her stuff, but I was gonna say there's her name Jamel Jamel Jamel Jamel Jamel I don't know. I apologize, but she is famous Jamel Hill I'm gonna say Jamel Hill, but I think I'm saying it wrong. I Will look at between this episode and saying it wrong. I will look between this episode and the next episode I will look it up. So I will get to the bottom of the bottom of my own issues here, but she is super famous. And I was actually kind of surprised. I was like, what's she doing on this show? Like, she's

famous. And she's not like a Bravo star, you know? Yeah, I don't know. He's like, come on. Well, she loves delicious food. So feel free to pull out all the stops over there, Lam Chop. All right, now we're gonna have a pre-bash lorette party, a nighties party, a white party, that I am supposed to attend. All right, and they want dirty theme drinks,

like blow job shots. Can we get little Dick Lally pops? Yeah, and then they also want like, it's like, how about I had a naughty penis cake and Kevin's like, do you want something to stand up? Usually that's more fun and Kevin's like, ha, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, God, I've worked in 10 to 20 restaurants

that I've owned and never heard joke that good. Wow. So then Riley is talking to Simone and Simone's still mad about the whole Kate Tanner thing and she's like I'm so over it. I've had to deal with so much and now to have to deal with people hitting on people First have to learn how to make ice coffee now have to listen to people hitting on people Riley's like um Kate doesn't even like him. I think she's just flirting. She's like, well, I'm not surprised because he liked to have fists like, why am I such an easy bitch?

And then she talks about how her dad abandoned her and started a new family when she was a kid. And so she has like major trust issues, but then she lets people in and it all, it never works out. And listen, I just say this is all very sad. Stop opening the door to Tanner. Yeah. Yeah, I know it. Exactly, because that's the thing. She's acting almost as if like, oh,

whenever I do open myself up, I just get let down. So like, it's not the act of opening yourself up, that's wrong. You should keep opening yourself up. But like, you know, look through the people first and see who's at the door. Yes, exactly. Get a ring. Get a ring. Please get a ring cam. I don't care that there are security issues with the ring cam. Okay, and that's the most easily hacked electronic doorbell apparently. The point is this, if Tanner's knocking on your door, there's no harm in saying I'm sorry. No one's home. Okay, open the door to the right people. Open the door.

Open the door to Bert Reynolds, like when he came over to the Golden Girls house. You know, yeah, wait for Bert Reynolds. I'm sorry that that was the only good reference. He's known to be a really good trustworthy husband. Bert Reynolds. I don't know why that was my door. My go-to door thing. I think I just saw that episode. But seriously, open the door to...

Like, open the door to... Who's a good person to show up at the door? Just don't open the door to camera, okay? Don't, just don't do it. That's the point. Don't do that. So they're all getting ready to go out now and of course It's just boys getting the room banquets getting the room ban Yeah, let's go, Mr. Dolbson

so um, yeah, so in the girl van Riley is basically saying how the guys just totally under appreciate her and it's all because of action He's the one who was poisoning the the well against her, you know, and Kate gets like, you know, Rally deserves the chance to work on a got with someone who actually manages, you know, like not like Ashen, who just punches windows and tries to have sex with everyone. Meanwhile, the guys are being super classy in their van. Kevin's like, it's cut, making too much

of the bitch to stick you dick in a tanna. I was like oh My god, I cannot but it's just it's so awful, right? It's so awful. I think I have to do it. I think I have to do it They all like laugh and are like stepping high five. I don't like bitchy girls, but you know the bit But I also want to get lead so the picture the better huh? Just lock room talk guys That's all right of the better. Huh? Just lock room talk, guys. That's all, Ronnie.

Don't be upset. Just lock room talk. So, night market, here we are. And there's all this exotic food everywhere in bugs and. Cap. And glasses on. I can't have anything glasses on, yeah. And Tannis's like, I just want a corn dog.

And Kiko's made on a steak and he goes, is that what you're in through? Oh, I missed that. and I'm so glad I did yeah I've been asked on the cat that can't his fucking glasses on that cat's also gonna be a guest judge on next week's episode of Project Gromit runway just because all now totally does your color story have to do with your heritage the is? Haha. Haha. Haha. The cat was also by the way in like a baby Bjorn. It was like there was a lot going on.

Yeah. So Kate, Kate Rallion Simone decided they're going to have try the scorpions on the stick. So they're all like they're going together and Courtney is just watching them and she's just giving the most Courtney face as in her nose is scrunched up and she's just like, ew, I thought little square plates were terrible but this is even worse. No, just getting plates are worse. Okay, it's like, is this scorpion? Is scorpion my spirit animal? Yeah, it's like I'm nice and nice and nice and then it kills you.

I think it is. And Rally goes, it tastes like a corn nut but salty. Like, are we corn nut, but salty. Like, aren't corn nuts salty? Yeah. Rally, what's Rally been eating? They've been feeding her pebbles. So Tanner tries, he's like, do we?

And then we just hear someone go, oh, M G. So now, I was as a cricket gate, as it scorpion gate, bug gate, whatever it is? Yeah, or Kevin's ordering a bunch of bugs. I know, but there's a great next to him. Well, because there was like a cricket situation, well, yes, I'm not having any details of the cricket and the scorpion, the point is bugs. He's ordering a bunch of bugs and Riley is standing next to him. Yes, and she's like, um, don't buy all of them Kevin. I want some. And he's like,

can I order my food? And then you can't just I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. So be a long. You fucking prick. Just me. Well, because the thing is that like he goes and he's being condescending to this person. And then he grabs the scoop to scoop it for himself. And she's like, let her do it. It's her catch and needs, but he's like being, he keeps being kind of descending and then he keeps like, and then he's like taking everything and sort of like, it's like, I don't like it. I'm like, I want them, you know, and so that's when he's like, he says, you know, well, it's my food. Let me, let me order my food.

So then when he clears out and she goes, like you said, she goes, you prick me of a long, move along, move along, she goes you prick me the long move along move along she says it like that move along move along and he goes war a fulking bitch and I'm like again it's frustrating because he's allowed to talk to her however he wants to and admittedly it's like you know she's definitely escalating by saying you prick move along move along but the truth is like he's allowed to say suddenly like what a fucking bitch, but she can't say you prick It's just ill maybe mad Why can't she say fucking prick

She can I'm saying I'm saying that she I'm saying that that's what that's in his mind, right? Like he she said you prick move along move along and so he goes what a fucking bitch, right? Yeah, implying that like wow I can't believe she believe she said you prick, you know, like, like, it was just obnoxious. Yeah, he's. And then, of course, she's so rallying. You know, also just like trying to fight. Like with the PC's.

She is. She's like, oh, Scorpion, he took them all. Oh, oh, okay, Scorpion. Then Kevin runs over to the boys, because that's all they do. They like, have shit with Rally, then they run to each other, you, Scorpion. Kevin runs over to the boys because that's all they do. They like, have shit with Riley, then they run to each other, you know? Yeah. So he's like, she came up behind me, him sick of a shit, and Ashton goes,

what did you slap it with, you dick? I mean, it's like you can't. I mean, everything that fucking comes out of their mouths. It's so toxic. It's just crazy, you know? I mean, also Riley, I mean, what's also funny is that there's like a million stalls that are selling the scorpions, and but of course she's like, I want this one.

You're right, she is trying to fight, but at the same time these guys are just awful. So Riley goes up to Ash, she goes, you're pathetic, you are, you're pathetic. She didn't even hear what he said, but she just seized the way he's laughing, and she's just already like you're pathetic And so then she's like he rolls his eyes like he's anticipating drama. So here comes drama

Got it And so they're all kind of in a group now, right? And she's like what a why carry a fucking boss in Kevin goes and you're a fisherman So whatever she is and you're a fucking Asher's like all right, you go to stage now. We're just all telling each You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef.

You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef.

You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a fucking chef. You're a messot in this pig is what you are and asking us all right all right We're all messoled in this pigs and he starts laughing. Well at least you know, at least we got one right

You know, yeah, just yeah, just you are You're fucking arrogant you're you go testicle got it and Kevin's like all right, right? Like that's enough like he's standing right in front of Riley like cross-eyed swirling at her It's like that's enough that's enough right in front of Riley. Like cross-eyed swirling at her. It's like, that's enough, that's enough. And Simone goes, Roryla is a boss bitch. We're super similar, but she says all the things I can't say, it's like get fired.

And Riley's like, I'm fucking smashing space in, okay? I will never work with him again. Yeah, and then of course, Brian keeps doing this thing, where he goes, we're all pretty happy until someone came along and Courtney's like, stop! He's like, what do you stand up for so much? She's like, don't accelerate this situation. So now Courtney starts getting mad at Brian for basically, like getting mad at her for having an opinion. And Ashton's like, well she's just crying because she wants a reaction.

Yeah, she wants us to give a shit about her. And someone's like, no, she's crying because she's upset and they all start laughing. And Riley's like, fuck off, I'm saying, fuck off you fucking bragg! And Kevin's like, calm down, calm down, calm down, which is the gaslighting, which is like they are assholes to her, she gets riled up, riled up,

and then they're like, calm down, calm down. Oh wow, wow, she just wants a reaction which is like I think again Common, you know Things that people say about women in the workplace. Oh, she just wants a reaction. That's why she's doing that So Brian's like stop sticking up for and Courtney's like you're allowed to stick up for your guys But I'm not allowed to stick up for her and he's like cool me sticking up for Raleigh is during the pot She's making it worse. Me get like crosses, it's arms are sticking up for the wrong

people or something. Yeah. Yeah, it's so it's, it's, it's just like, ooh, my blood was really boiling. I mean, again, like Rale probably did not have to say to Kevin, you prick, move along, move along. She probably did not have to say that, but at the same time, they are such, they're animals to her, you know? And the frustration is totally

relatable. So the guys go, everybody goes to their vans and Courtney's crying now because Brian was mean to her. And Riley's like, you know what, I should go to the mail van. How'd you fucking like that? To Riley goes up to the mail van and she's like, oh, you think I'll be fired? It's the last chart and you think I'll be fired. And then meanwhile Courtney's like,

oh, I'm just like crying in the van, which is sort of funny. And she's like mad that like the Brian was asking her why she's stood up for Riley. And in's like, all I wanted was a nice night at the night market, eating some scorpions. And now Riley's in a rage and Courtney's crying. So Riley's like, don't touch me, Kate. Do not touch me. Just Kate's like trying to put her in the van. And she's like, I feel like when she screams at me, like it's in a sister way, because I just get over it.

I just get over it. Who cares? So then Brian and the boy van, Brian's like, Bruce, I got your bracelets. Friendship bracelets. And they're like,

woo! Yeah, they're all growing unhappy with their bracelets and everything. And then the other van, while it's just screaming about how she bears the brunt of all this shit from the guys. And Kate was like, Rally, you're not the only person in this group Fan Riley's just like screaming about how she bears the brunt of all this shit from the guys and Kaye was like, Rally, you are not the only person in this group, please stop talking.

You have plenty of time and Riley goes, what? My time is over to feel hurt about how my crew treats me and she says, yep, sure is. Oh, we're gonna play some fucking music and do what you want to do. Kiko's yep She's right. Let's do that. Let's do that then and Kiko's Shut up Kiko's like I'm not in the mood for this so me want Courtney is still crying and like she's all rumbled up in the corner and Rally's like what happened Courtney? What's wrong? Kiko? What do you think happened Riley? That's not what I'm asking. that's why I'm asking Kate.

Got it. So you went to a blackout rage. So she's, get the fuck up my truck right now, Kate. Riley is so, she's like in Super Mario that like the chain chomp, you know, that ball that's on the chain. I was like, you know, like just, she is, she is on a tear, it is amazing. And the other round, the guys, I was like, what's the word? You know, like just, she is, she is on a tear, it is amazing.

And the other round, the guys, Brian's like, are you going to still be in Kate? And Ash is like, you're gonna give her a good fuck because the media could fucking gonna do it. Queens. It's so obnoxious. And I know that there'll probably be some people out there

who are gonna be like, yeah, but like if the girls said that, like you guys wouldn't be upset. But they don't. But even if the girls did, it's like it's, you just like, men and women, it's, it's, it's a false equivalency. Oh, if a girl said it's fine. Well, that's because when men say it, it like comes with a loaded baggage of men using that, like,

using those sort of words and seeing those sort of things in a way that like has either perpetrated violence on women or has like, I have kept women sort of like in lower positions of power. So it's loaded, the context is loaded. So you can't just say, oh, what if women say it because it's a different context? Yeah, they're just like they get grosser

with everything. Everything's so different. I mean, the young man is so gross. So another back, and Riley's walking back to the boat with Simone. And she's like, I'm not gonna let her come at me I like she's the queen bee. This isn't even a yacht crew. It's a dumb nonsense fucking bullshit crew So she's not wrong, but she's also hilarious back

Courtney is just like ignoring Brian. He passes her as she just slams her door in his face And so he sees Riley and of course's gonna try and be nice to Riley, so he can get back in Courtney's good graces. So he's like, Riley, smile, pull for vol, Riley just goes in the worst rhyme. He is so lucky that that's all that he got, because I mean, did he not learn anything

from when he said smile to Courtney earlier this season, and she was like, I'm not gonna smile just cause you tell me to smile. I mean, I could not believe Riley was like, how about you put a fucking smile on your fucking stupid fucking face. How about that? Got it? Yeah, so Courtney's all upset in her room. And then the guy is just just growing out all over the boat. Kevin's like, my boy, blue, yeah. Boy, soft, soft, boys, boy. God, you know that Kevin's like the worst drunk. I mean, you could hear how, you could hear his loudness

and you could hear how annoying he was drunk. Yeah, and then they're like, so you're still gonna bang Kate Tana and Tana's like, yeah, you know, until this whole Riley thing happened, that was gonna, and Kevin says, the amount of Coca-Cola and Cheetah, she's eating, she's probably still awake and Kate comes out and she's like Can I get you boys anything like she's holding a cigarette like she's gonna hang out with the boys and they all start cracking up

Just yeah, they're like There she is Well, because she like it's not that she comes out she was on the shit like walked away from the boat and had walked Was now walking back and so she was like approaching the boat She could hear that they were like talking shit about someone and then he walks up to them and they're like there she is so she already knows like these guys are being assholes and so she's like oh what a bunch of shits you are you're just a bunch of shits bunch of shits and they're all out of like laughing you know and it's like very, like, it's very uncomfortable. Yeah. So she's slant, she goes in a slams the door and Kevin's like,

where's my bags of bro, where's my bags of books, bags of bugs, bro? Yeah. He also like yell, he also yells, he's like, don't slam the door. And then yeah, he's like, where's my book, bags of bugs, bros, bros, bros and bugs and bros so you have to go downstairs because Brian left them on his bed which where everybody wants a bag of bugs you know yeah it's always yeah it's great just like leaving a bag of bugs on a luxury yacht by the way so Kevin comes in and he's trying to go downstairs and keep blocks him in the door wait like you disrespectful get out all I said was you had coca-cola's He's trying to go downstairs and keep blocks him of the doorway. She's like, you're disrespectful. Get out.

He's like, all I said was you had Coca-Cola's and Cheetos. Can I get through, Kai? Can I get through, Kai? Kai, can I get through? She's like, I'm a bunch out of my interior. You can go the long way. Yeah. Yeah.

And he's like, don't be dramatic. Just go the long way. And so any case, like, you know what? Kevin's made an argument out of everything. Like, why, like, why, and which fridge it should be in. Well, guess what? I'm the head of a bunch of apartment too, and the interior, and you can't begin it. It was like, I loved it, you know, because she's right.

Kevin makes a fuss about every stupid little thing. No one can put these things into my refrigerator. Da, da, da, da, da, da. This is the exact sort of thing that Kevin would do, which is like, you can't come into my kitchen, you know? And kids, like, you know what? I'm gonna do it back to him. And he is getting furious. And the boys are watching from the window.

As she's like, oh my God, there she goes. And Brian says, she's not even letting Kate into his own galley. And Kate's not even letting him into his own galley. And Kevin's like, please, Kate, please, Kate. Can I get through, Kate, can I get through? Okay, can I get through? It's just what about this? How about this? She closes the door behind her. Yeah And as she says, little Kati's come out again to play

And she's acting like the brunt. I'm gonna go with there and I'm gonna play the game kind of being an asshole Kevin Just to get laid bro, just to get laid. Oh So then Kevin's yelling Kate's being dramatic Kate's being dramatic so then all of a sudden captain Lee wakes up. He's like, God damn it I was having the best dream all you can eat perfeive cheerios. Hey, that was my restaurant Oh, it's really my old restaurant anyway. I got woken up. I got damn it. I'll wake the captain. I'll wake him and up. I got a damn it. I'll wake the cop then I'll wake him. And so Kate comes to the guy. She's like, you know what? Just so you know, none of you can walk through there. Which totally reminds me of being a kid and being like, this room's closed. You have to go around.

But I was drunk and I felt right for the moment. And Ash is like, hey, nah, he's there. Everyone's about, she goes, is it? Is it? Because I walk up to you talking shit about me. And Ash was like, Knaa, he's there. Everyone's about, she goes, is that, is it because I woke up to you talking shit about me? And here I am, like, ha, that's hang out. And Knaa was like, what did you hear in your own head that we said? What, what, what did you hear in your own little gaslighting? See? And then right there, they were, by the way, by the way, they were talking shit about Kate. And then she heard them and she's like, you were talking shit. And they're like, really? Really? Then what were we were saying What did you hear in your own head? It's so fucked up It was I mean like definition of get of true gaslighting So the captain comes out and ask just like sorry cap and he's like what the fuck is going on and then asking us

I don't know and shrugs and points at Kate. I Mean oh my goodness, so captain leaves like you know what? I mean, oh my goodness. So Kathleen's like, you know what? Nobody knows and I don't want to know. I don't want to know. All I want are people to get into bed and be ready in the morning. I matter than a piston chicken. I'll be in my quarter. So if anybody wants to come tack to me, go ahead. Might smell like poultry and piss and that's deteriorating. I'm not saying that that situation actually happened but if it did happen and it might have happened A, we are gonna need someone to come up to my quarters and B, that'll be very one very

angry chicken and I can tell you from experience a lot of a lot of chicken pecker holes on the wall right now because point is we need a shami shami up in the quarters thank you. There it's going to be hell to pay in the morning, mother fuckers. And he closes these slams, the double doors like, and that brings us to the end of Geez, just two more. Oh, I'm sad. I love below that.

I'm sick of this. I've had it. I've had it with this. I'm sick of these guys, but I'm not sick of the show. But I'm also really excited to see the new below deck. The below deck. Sailing vault. Below deck.

Undiagnol. Yeah. So there we go, everybody. Our next shows will be live shows Detroit this week fan-tepran rules and then Columbus on anniversary and We'll be Real Housewives of New Jersey which one is our anniversary being the Columbus show is actually our eight-year anniversary So that's gonna be a very fun lovely special moment for us So come celebrate our anniversary as watch of watch the anniversary of watch the crap in Columbus, but we can also celebrate in Detroit.

Thanks everybody, we sure love you! Bye everyone! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen and add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.