Watch What Crappens - #116: Lisa vs. Brandi vs. Yolanda vs. Kim

Episode Date: February 26, 2014

This week on Watch What Crappens, Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) break down the whole Lisa vs. Brandi (vs. Yolanda) fight on "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." Lines are drawn in the sand, and opinions are passionate. It's definitely worth hearing our colorful thoughts on the matter. After that, the duo take on the usual Bravo suspects: "Vanderpump Rules," "Real Housewives of Atlanta," "Shahs of Sunset," and "Blood, Sweat, and Heels." It's a short but sweet episode. Come listen! And like our Facebook page: facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Thanks! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. That's what's shaz Vanderpump rules Come gather round and make fun of these fools The podcast's a bravo Nothing runs with bravo But that's okay

We only care about bravo Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens When there's so much that crap is What happens What happens Crap

Crap Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens When there's so much that crap is Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens Watch What Crappens And all sorts of social media. And joining me, as always, is my wonderful and lovable co-host, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie.

Well, hello, Benjamina. Oh, hello there, Ronnie. Ronnie can be found at TrashTalkTV.com, which is a great website with all sorts of hilarious satirical parodies of The Real Housewives, etc., etc., recaps. You should all go there and then follow him on Twitter, TrashTweetTV and just have a ball with it. And then of course you should absolutely follow this podcast on Facebook. Facebook.com forward slash watch what crap

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Some funny stuff on there. I was just watching someone tape the scene of Kim losing it last night at the dinner table and posted it on here. And I just keep watching it over and over. It's hysterical. Stupid Kim. You're this mad that someone can tell the story right, Kim. stupid cam hear this man someone can tell the story right can so so this is actually i'm very excited about this because what ronnie is referring to in case you didn't know in case you've been living under a rock slash having a real life um he's referring to real housewives of beverly hills

which was absolutely crazy last night and we have to dive right into it and i'm very excited to say here comes a ben mandelker name drop which is that um just prior to starting the recording of this i said we're going to hash this all out and lisa vanderpump direct messaged me and said well oh but it's not live i'm sorry oh i know i wish this was still live so you could just say get on the phone lady i know i mean technically if she has a skype account we could skype in. Do you think maybe I should message her that? Should I tell her? Should I try to get Lisa to come in on this?

Yeah. Okay. I mean, that's I mean, that's that crazy. But go for it. Wait, hold on. I'm going to totally try it. Ronnie, you talk for a moment while I type this to her. Okay.

So the basic thing, the show went crazy last night. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills went nuts. We have been waiting this whole season to see what the big brouhaha is because we've been promised since the very beginning. I don't know if you remember the preview for this season. I did not until someone posted it on our Facebook page.

But in the preview for the season you see that Brandi is turned against Lisa and she's telling Yolanda so do you really believe thaty is turned against lisa and she's telling yolanda so do you really believe that she's blackmailing kyle and mauricio which was cut out of the show last night unfortunately so we didn't get to see that scene i don't know if there were lawsuits involved or what apparently it went further than we even knew and there were some like allegations of blackmail whatever but last night we finally found out what all of this is about.

Brandi finally came up with a reason. Because she's been mad at Lisa this whole time, but has not been able to come up with a legit reason why. For all she said is that she's been manipulated. To what end? To what end? I still don't understand. Yeah, me neither. So we finally, finally found out. Or Brandy finally came up with a reason.

And did it have to do with a dead body or someone's life being destroyed or a maiming? Or Lisa aborting Adrian's first child and then Adrian couldn't have children after, so she adopted? Yeah, or laundering laundering money or some sort of sensational international crime what was it ronnie what what was the cause of all of it carry more than 12 ounces of liquid onto an airplane that's just offensive it was uh well where is this coming from darling ask sheena marie so the first part is that this is all brandy saying that she's mad that lisa is friends with sheena marie well you guys are so close but you're friends um yeah she's not for five years and she worked for her so yeah what's your point and and and let me say to that

point as well that um on that season of real houses of beverly hills when brandy came to sir at that point brandy and lisa weren't even like very good friends i mean remember the whole thing that on that season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, when Brandy came to Sir, at that point, Brandy and Lisa weren't even very good friends. I mean, remember the whole thing with Lisa was that she was not friends with Brandy because everyone said she was awful, and then she discovered on her own that Brandy was actually pretty cool. And so even if it's true that Lisa and Sheena were as thick as thieves, she didn't owe anything to Brandy at that moment. No, and Brandy's saying it bugs her and she's being used,

and this all was a setup so that Lisa could get publicity for her show. Okay, bitch, think about what you're saying. You're saying that five years ago, Lisa looked at one of Pandora's friends. This was before Real Housewives even started. And Lisa said to herself, I'm going to try and get on a Real Housewives even started and Lisa said to herself I'm going to try and get on a Real Housewives show I'm going to make them

have a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills I'm going to get on it then I'm going to lay really really low then I'm going to have the producers lie about some ex-model anorexic bitch being friends with Cedric and then she's going to worm her way into my life.

Meanwhile, I'm just going to keep this hidden secret I have of Pandora's friend waiting tables at my restaurant so I don't lose her. She starts, sir, because that's going to be a great backdrop for a spinoff, just in case she ever gets one and is able to use this waitress to go against this anorexic model idiot that she doesn't even know yet. I mean, come on. None of this even makes any kind of sense. And I was hoping that there was going to be something real to all this, and that Lisa Vanderpump really would be outed as some evil mastermind.

But come on, that's it? I have to say, I give like, where was it nancy denine on our facebook page wrote great episode my favorite quote slash accusation by brandy to lisa was quote capitalizing off my heartache said by the woman whose role on the show and book deals are solely due to the fact that her husband divorced her so like this just goes to show like you know when brandy said that lisa is capitalizing off her heartache with sheena etc it's bullshit she brandy's the one who's capitalizing off of it yeah and guess what it's illegal to fire somebody because your friend

doesn't like them yeah exactly no the whole the whole thing is disgusting husband was fucking a 20 year old that's gross when he was like 40 yeah and like married a fucking pervert in the first place and meanwhile i mean you know the things that cedric did to lisa and ken were also reportedly just heinous and awful and yet you know i never saw lisa hold that really against brandy the way that brandy holds you know lisa's you know uh the fact that she has sheena on the payroll the way that she holds that against Lisa. So it's like a total double standard by Brandi at this point.

And we're not even at the main fight. She doesn't even care about that. She does not even care. She has said in the media the past couple of weeks that she went after Lisa because... Well, she fired her whole team because she's looking so badly this year.

So apparently she fired everybody that works for her and blames them. And says that NeNe Leakes is the one who told her to turn on Lisa. Because if you bring the most powerful one down, you'll be the most powerful. Or whatever. So we already know that this is bullshit. And she's just lying and making shit up. Right. And so to see that it's this is just sad.

So I'm not even going to try and waste any time trying to think of how Brandy feels or where this is coming from, because we just know it's a bunch of crap. Yeah, and the same way it's also crap the way that Yolanda has now piled onto it. Because truly, Yolanda, if you went back in time

six episodes ago, Yolanda would have looked at this whole situation and be like, well, we're all mature ladies and it's up for us all to get along and it's okay. I think it's a wonderful thing that Lisa and Kyle are friends now. But now, because Lisa skipped out on painting Palooza

2014, now all of a sudden Yolanda is like, well, I think it's very strange. It's very fake. It's very Hollywood friends that she's friends with Kyle all of a sudden. It's like, shut up, Yolanda. You don't even know what you're talking about. And furthermore, I don't know what's more fake. The fact that Lisa had a party for Mauricio because it was convenient

or whatever, and she gets along with Kyle, this woman that she's known for a long time. They've had some rough patches, but they got over it and they got through it. Or the fact that Yolanda hated Kyle for the first half of the season. Yolanda wouldn't even talk to Kyle until, I think she made Kyle cry at Carlton's castle at one point. And then Kyle went running off crying, and then Yolanda goes and hugs her in the closet. And it's like, it's okay, I know you have a lot on your plate.

I know you have a lot on your plate. I mean, you want to talk about fake, what about that 180? That's ten times worse than Lisa throwing a party for Mauricio. Well, not only that, but they showed that clip last night. fake what about that 180 that's 10 times worse than lisa throwing a party for mauricio well not only that but they showed that clip last night and the editors were making it seem like yolanda was saying oh i remember that night that we were in palm springs and and uh you were crying and i came to their they were making it seem like lisa had made her cry yeah well let's remember who made her cry that was brandy who was the one who brought up the cheating allegations that were in all the magazines really rudely and really loudly at dinner.

And that's why Kyle was crying. So now, all this time later, they're trying to make it seem like Lisa put some tabloid in Brandy's purse or bag to try and get her to talk about it. When Brandy just blurted it out to hurt Kyle on purpose. Like, we have TVs, you guys. I know that we're kind of idiots. We have TVs,

but they don't always have brains, unfortunately. Yeah. I know that we're kind of idiots because we're fans of this show in the first place. And we watch this, like we should definitely get our man cards taken away just for that alone. But we're not that stupid. I mean,

we can fucking see it's like, Kyle, we but we're not that stupid i mean we can fucking see it's like kyle we know you're not a size zero you're on tv we see you this is a radio show so you know you mentioned the magazines and that was really at the heart of this issue no pun intended issue that was the first thing that came out with magazines so the big the big issue is this when so they're all sitting beachside they're in puerto rico by the way they're on a love truly beautiful lovely vacation that yoice has set up for them and they're all sitting there um having a lovely time in the water and um yolanda decides it's the time to have a conversation so yolanda butts her face

in and she says to lisa like you know i think I think this is very fake, what you've done, da-da-da-da-da-da. And Lisa's kind of like, first Lisa says, I sorted everything out with Kyle. We sorted it out. And it's none of your business, which is correct on both fronts. And then she also starts talking about, well, you know, Brandy, like, Brandy doesn't get phone calls from you anymore. Brandy doesn't get this from you. And then Lisa says, well, when was the last time Brandy called me?

Exactly. That's one of my least favorite things when someone says, you don't call me anymore. Well, why don't you pick up the phone and call me? Especially after Brandy's been complaining that Lisa's mothering her for weeks. And Brandy has been ignoring her on purpose for weeks. Like, we've seen it. And did not invite her to meet her family up in Sacramento. You know what?

If someone did that to me, you know what I'd do? I would pull away also. Yeah. You won't get your morning phone call from me, you know what I'd do? I would pull away also. Yeah. You won't get your morning phone call from me, Ronnie Karen, if you pull that on the screen. There will be none of that. Yeah, so

Yoli's like, well, you know, this is how Ronnie feels. She has bad feelings. Okay, so now I have to take a real life break. Well, as real life as this gets. I made the mistake, or had the pleasure, whichever way you look at it, of going to Bravo TV and reading the blogs, the cast blogs, which are just a nightmare.

First of all, Kim, learn punctuation and spelling. I know that you didn't get to go to school as a child, but you're still alive and there are still schools i mean like you need to pull a jerry blank and like go back to kindergarten you fit in there and you'd probably find a decent boyfriend for the first time in your life but the one that i'm referring to is yolanda's because that bitch is backpedaling so far and so fast it is hilarious to watch first of all yolanda has had a really bad week publicly because she's fighting with Stupid Housewives blog on Twitter. Oh, God. She's trying to get people to go after this blogger and calling her a bully.

And you're on internet bullying me. So this week on her Bravo blog, she is... Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and

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Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Oh, sorry, Ben. I got your text. I'm too loud. Yeah, I just textednie to say that he was too loud and causing distortion but i was trying to i try to be subtle because i didn't want to interrupt his rant but i can't be subtle hold on let me let me get my scott preferences so uh anyway so i go to her uh oh god yeah it's all the way up yeah you turn that down a little bit ronnie okay do i sound better now well it's hard cause you're not ranting. Okay. So she, uh, you're still distorted. You're still distorted. Uh, damn it. Okay. Now, now rant, rant away. This is, this is as low I

think as it'll go. Okay. That's good. Good enough. Built-in microphone. Um, you sound microphone um it's on great so she uh first of all her the last paragraph of her blog is is uh dedicated to someone who was internet bullied which is hilarious jill zarin it's like a black and white video montage the first part of the blog is like oh you know we didn't plan to pick on lisa and we didn't don't gang up on her you know i just wanted to talk about my own issues with lisa which was not coming to my daughter gg's you know painting party and this is all i was trying to talk to lisa about again we have tvs we saw you go up to lisa and say this is how brandy's feeling like it was not about your

fucking painting party at least the way you spoke it yeah also she's on twitter trying to like rig this competition for her stupid daughter who's like first of all great mother you sent your daughter off to do some topless shoot for sports illustrated and then you have to get your fucking crazy fans on twitter to go vote for her so she'll win. Rigged, you're a lie, you're full of shit, Yolanda Foster. Shut up. Just shut up, Yolanda Foster. You get to sit in the backseat with Jill Zarin and both of you can shut the fuck up. So the thing is this, Yolanda, you know, I've actually been a fan of Yolanda for a while, even though we have certain friends, fellow guests, podcasters, who have called her the C-word many times because they actually know her.

And, you know, but I've always enjoyed her. But this episode, I think it really exposed a hypocritical, self-serving side of her. I did not like that she pulled Lisa aside and was like, Brandy feels this way, Brandy feels that way. And then when Lisa walks away, because these ladies are all being mean, and of course they eventually come and follow her, and then Yolanda starts up again, and Ken comes to the defense of his wife, which I love. I thought Ken was phenomenal this episode.

He was acting like a real man, you know? He was not being disrespectful, maybe with Kim a little bit later on when he called her i think stupid but when you basically but look he wasn't being like joju dice or anything he wasn't like get your fucking twat out of here he was just like he was like this is rubbish that's ridiculous why would you even say these things and what i did not like was that then yolanda yolanda's like you know i wasn't speaking to you. Like, Ken shouldn't speak to me that way, and I wasn't even speaking to Ken. Like, Ken should not be speaking for Lisa.

But you know what, Yolanda, you're speaking for Brandy. So why is it okay for you to speak on behalf of Brandy, but it's not okay for Ken to come defend his wife? No kidding. In fact, I guarantee— Why is it okay for David Foster to tell Taylor to shut up last year? Yeah, and I guarantee, by the way, also, that if someone were coming at Yolanda

and David Foster spoke up, Yolanda would be the first person to be like, I think it's quite romantic that David spoke up for me. That's what a real husband does. She'd be the very first person to do that. So, honestly, Yolanda does deserve a ticket to Shut Up Mountain this week, because she was absolutely ridiculous on that front.

Yeah, she really was. Yolanda is acting like a fucking moron, and I've never liked her anyway with her stupid like oh i have 20 children from five fathers and we're all a big happy family it's like get a job bitch get a fucking job please i'm so sick of it i love how fired up we are this week my recap is 12 pages i am am like, no, I'm serious. Stop. This episode fired me up and we're only halfway through. So now here's the big question. The big, the big debate in the entire episode.

Do we think that Lisa put tabloids in Brandy's bag? I mean, forget for a moment that this is the most ridiculous controversy of all time. Do we think that Lisa put them in there? You don't know. Well, well, no, no,

I don't think she put them in there, but't know well well no no i don't think she put them in there but i do think lisa was caught going well you know i saw them but i didn't put them in the bag i didn't even see them until we were back i mean what yeah well i don't read i don't even know how to read those were spanish magazines i've never been to mexico lisa lisa was basically like lisa was basically like roger rabbit getting cornered in a bar okay like Lisa was basically like Roger Rabbit getting cornered in a bar okay like she was like please Eddie please like she was she was not on her A game when it came to defending herself Eddie

like really like she was not listen we are definitely obviously team Lisa but we will be I will be the first one to say she did a shitty job of defending herself I think she I think she went over there and uh brandy and yolanda were like did you see these because it was more than one magazine first of

all and brandy had them like i love that brand the way brandy describes it is she has them laid out on her coffee table like a pic you know like picture books it's like yeah okay here's the time life book here's a book of keith herring photos Here's all the magazines of Kyle cheating with Randy Hookers. By the way, and who bought those tabloids? Did they just materialize out of nowhere, Brandy? I mean, come on now. I mean, who even buys paper anymore? I mean, we all get it

online now. Brandy actually went out to a physical place and bought actual paper with things printed on it. I mean, when was the last time Brandy ever did that? I'm surprised. I thought she was an avid reader of The Divine Addiction. But here's the thing, though.

Here's Ben's little conspiracy theory of the week. Whenever Lisa gets sort of caught in a situation like this, her first response, which Kyle even mentioned, is to say, Oh, darling, it was a joke. It was a joke. You have to have some levity. It was just a joke, darling. That's like her go-to

excuse. So the fact that she didn't even bother with that one, because that's the easiest, most reliable way to get out of that situation. The fact that she didn't even mention that makes me think that I actually don't think that she did it. Because that's what she always says. That's what she always does. She goes, oh, she goes oh no no no darling you misinterpreted well she was obviously guilty of something so what i think is that she brandy was like look at all these magazines and yolanda was like oh my god look at this and then lisa lisa was like kind of laughing about it because she wasn't getting along with kyle and we've seen her make comments like catty comments about kyle like That's a big secret. And she probably made some catty comments or something. Or maybe she even said,

let's bring it and read it for bedtime stories. Who knows? I actually think it could have been that latter thing. That's my other theory, which is that if you're about to go on a road trip, it's not the craziest thing in the world to suggest bringing a magazine along. Especially if your friend is on the cover.

Maybe she was just like, bring it. I want to read it. I want to see what they're saying. Because you know what? Maybe she was even mentioned in the article. Maybe she's implicated. I mean, have we learned nothing from the real housewives of New Jersey? You've got to keep up on what the tabloids are saying.

That way you know how to defend yourself. Well, I have no doubt that Lisa took joy in the fact that Mauricio was caught caught cheating with hookers allegedly i mean she didn't like kyle kyle started kyle's been starting shit with her for years i don't it's not like lisa's some nun i don't doubt that she was saying bitchy things or making comments but guess what you're allowed to do that with your best friends and if they turn on you that's not your fault that's theirs i mean think of all the cunty things i say to you guys on this show yeah i mean if you went repeating things that i said that would just not be nice like you can't use that against me later you know so let's also not forget that brandy is also a drunk or at least she seems to be a drunk and she's professed to have been like to like taking xanax she was on

xanax when she went to hawaii whatever The point is that she sometimes is not in a totally sober state. She's also a compulsive liar. Nothing she said has been true. That stuff about Adrian, okay, well, we didn't know what the big secret was, but we did know that she said, uh, what was her big thing with Adrian? Oh, that Adrian had served her with a letter through

lawyers, uh, threatening to sue her, which she never did. And Brandy even admitted later that she never did it. Adrian sent a letter to one of her ex-employees who had signed a non-disclosure agreement and said, if you're the one leaking this information, I will sue you because you signed

a non-disclosure agreement, which is completely okay. I think that what Brandy does is, I don't think she's a fucking liar. I don't think that she's a comp fucking liar. I don't think that she's a compulsive liar. I don't think she makes things up out of nothing, out of thin air,

but I think that she has a warped sense. I think that she sees things and she exaggerates and she twists them and she doesn't understand. I don't think she even realizes she's doing it. I think she just... I see that. I have a little smile while everybody's going crazy and fighting she just sits there and like i mean if she didn't

if she hadn't injected botulism into her face so much we would actually probably be grinning like the joker but as much as she can move her fucking mouth she's sitting there smiling watching the wreck that she caused you know yeah i think she's just a fucking bullshitter. Yeah, so they really went after Lisa hardcore. Everyone turned on her. And, you know, the thing was this, though. Like, I mean, listen, Lisa's not perfect. She has done wrong things.

She has said things that she shouldn't have said. I'm sure she takes some, you know, some joy in some things. So while we're on that, for example, they showed a flashback yesterday when she was like we've always believed you darling they showed the clip of her telling ken well we don't know if it's true or not you know i can't say definitively if it's true or not how am i supposed to know i'm not in the relationship and ken's like no it's not true the end of it he's our friend and it's not true and lisa's like well i can't prove't prove that. So, you know, she said that,

which was kind of Conti. And then at that dinner where Kyle started crying, she said, there's where there's smoke, there's fire. Right. Or was that Yolanda who said that? I think it was Lisa.

So it's like, if you're going to bring that stuff up, it was Yolanda. It was Yolanda who said that. Oh, okay. So if you're going to, if you're going to bring up like legit stuff that Lisa's done,

or you think that she's made catty comments behind your back and trying to make you look bad, okay. That I can get behind, because that's a real fight. But just to make shit up is... Well, also, what's really annoying to me is, okay, the tabloid thing is stupid enough. But then Brandy puts it out there, and they just all go run with it. It's so gossipy and such hearsay. And, and they just,

they just accept it. They just accept it. When Brandy is the one who's always like starting shit with people. And, and for some reason they believe this woman right now. And the truth is that when they come at Lisa, she is the one Lisa has all her, everything she said to defend herself was absolutely right.

Did it look, did it look sort of guilty for them to walk away, perhaps? But at the same time, I know that if it were my mom and dad and they were being attacked by a bunch of idiots, they would leave. Yeah, they would also leave. Yeah. My mother would probably stab them.

And then she'd use her alcoholism as an excuse, just like, fucking Kim! Yeah. You know, and that's another thing, Kim. You know, one thing I put in the recap, I was like, you know who else has an excuse because they were an alcoholic? And then I put a picture of Mothers Against Drunk Driving and said, stop complaining about your dead children. You know, the people who were driving those cars were alcoholics. It's like, shut up, Kim.

Every time someone brings up something that she did wrong, she's like, oh, dear, y'all wasn't alcoholics it's like shut up kim every time someone brings up something that she did wrong she's like oh dear y'all was an alcoholic back then oh kim please that does not excuse everything you do not get a gold star for being an alcoholic you fucking idiot okay i i was actually not being drunk today well what i was really happy about was that so at the dinner what happened was we then go to a very tense dinner and, you know, Kyle decides to ruin it and be like, well, I want to talk about it. She's like, I want to ask both of, she wanted to ask Lisa and Brandy, like, at the same

time, like, is the magazine situation true, whatever. So then everyone starts to fight. And then, and then Kim starts saying, well, you know, there's always, like, the truth is always, like, you know, I feel like you're always lying. It's like when you were in Wisconsin, always lying it's like that like when you were in wisconsin instead of coming to when you said you were in wisconsin instead of coming to my daughter's graduation party and you know what i was so glad that ken finally was like well why didn't you come to our daughter's wedding why

did you come to our daughter's wedding she's like well i was moving i was moving and i said oh really you did an rsvp and then she was about to kill him because why because that's when she was drunk ken and you know that how did you bring that up on tv kim's a victim that's what i'm talking about it's like shut the fuck up ken maybe that time you said you was in missouri kim first of all that's not where she was but get your get your places straight but you know what i also loved in that entire scene was that like kim kept on like trying to get like a good angle to see ken and so her head kept on going like, trying to get, like, a good angle to see Ken, and so her head kept on going back and forth.

It was like one of those inflatable dolls that you punch and it comes back at, and it's just, like, left and right, like, she couldn't... And then I love that finally Ken's just like, get out of here, get out of the way, you stupid face. Get out of the way, Kim. Admittedly, that was rude. Ken, that was, like, mean of Kim.

But you know what though at that point he's had to deal with fucking kim popping up out of nowhere just to cause shit or be a bitch like this woman has done nothing nothing for anybody else she's one of the only women who's not part of any fucking charity the only time she leaves her house is when she absolutely has to to collect a fucking paycheck or sign autographs next to like the kid from webster or whatever is going on over there she doesn't do anything for anything to herself she doesn't show up to anybody's stuff she doesn't rsvp to anything and then she'll show up to cry and blame everything on her alcoholism or to throw somebody else under the bus or to you, you know, like run up to Mauricio and be like,

I can't hear what Lisa was saying. It's like the worst game of telephone ever. It's like drunky telephone. Oh, sister, you got a penis taken off and became a hooker and made out with someone at a hotel bar. He's like, what? You know, who said that? I thought they were my friends and stuff.

So who would say that about me? Stupid, Ken. You're stupid. Joyce is the one who came out looking the best. Well, yeah, because she didn't say anything. I know. It's like, if you're just quiet on this show, we all like you. You know?

It's like the minute you open your mouth, everyone's like, killer! Idiot! I almost wish... You're really distorted today, Ronnie. I have to say. Your audio... All the people at home, I don't know what's happening. Are you distorted? It sounds like you're speaking through a flashlight. distorted today, Ronnie. I have to say, your audio, to all the people at home, I don't know what's happening.

It sounds like you're speaking through a flashlight. You would have told me that it wasn't faxed. I did tell you, but I think you were still very heated from the rant. It's okay. People, we just have to say that it's okay. We can still understand you, it's just that it's going to be a little intense. Intense for listeners.

But that being said um i you know carlton also made out like a bandit mainly because she wasn't there although i kind of would have liked to have seen her there because she she just would have been appalled by every single little thing but like all the wrong things like could you believe could you believe that kim's wearing a ponytail to dinner i mean where are we circus? I'm so glad she wasn't there. I know. And I think it's really sad. Does this sound better?

Oh, yeah, much better. What'd you do? You see, I could have fixed this a long time ago, you guys. I tried to tell you. I just won't shut up. We're in a fight. I just had to replug in my headphones. Oh. Do you see, guys? Sorry for all that torture.

God, that must have sucked. But you know what, though? See what also also that's also the way adults handle things they just tell things politely and then they they politely fix it and then i politely blame you later yeah this is actually gonna be the beginning of the end for our podcasts because we're gonna go tell like people off off off the air and then like start resentments and then have a big fight at dinner matt called me the other day and he said that he wants to start a podcast away from you because at least it'll sound clear. Well, Matt wanted to

put a bunch of tabloids about you in my satchel and I was like, no. But he's like, yes, put them in there. And I was like, okay, fine. But then when he wasn't looking, I took them out. So that's like a really damning situation. I don't care if it's like, Ronnie has been fucking his dog, Bueller. Like, if whatever

is in the tabloids, bring them to dinner. I will be so excited to be in a tabloid. I don't care what it's about. If I murdered a child... And by the way, also, when... I like when they're like, the things that Lisa have done, they've hurt my family, they've hurt

the kids. What are you talking about because lisa has brought like allegedly wanted to bring the the tabloids lisa let's say it's so stupid like you know what tell your husband to keep it keep his shit in his pants allegedly now we're going oh and by the way who do you think leaked that story to the tabloids brandy who the fuck else would it be brandy was brandy was like feuding with him last season who was the inside source you know it was brandy because she hated kyle and now she's turning that around and trying to make it seem like it was lisa so

she can get some more fucking camera time brandy is ridiculous now granted thank god something happened on this show i know it's about time we had a good episode. So stupid. And then Lisa leaves Puerto Rico so next week we get to watch dum-dums in Puerto Rico doing nothing. Like, oh, Mauricio and Kyle are going to pretend to be a loving couple some more and make out. And Kim's going to be wacky and try and talk Spanish

and get dime bags. And Yolanda is going to... It's like, what is Yolanda? Yolanda's going to walk around the big coconut tribute town. big coconut tribute. The big coconut tribute. All right. Well, listen, since you have a hard out today, why don't we move on to another show? We can talk, I guess, briefly about Vanderpump Rules.

This week, Vanderpump Rules was like the secrets revealed. And the way I like to describe this show, I'm going to use an analogy. It's an extended analogy, so give me a moment here so i kind of feel like the vanderpump rules as a show is kind of like a big turd you know and like the reunion is like when you wipe your ass from the turd and this episode was like um you know like when you have when you take a big shit and you wipe your ass but then like an hour later even though you were totally convinced you had wiped everything off an hour later you're like i feel like there's still something there and then you wipe again and you're like oh there's still like a little bit there

that's what this episode was like um yeah i will agree that this is like the poop specs that are on the rim of your toilet scratch off with like a nail that being said like it's my favorite show on bravo don't get me wrong someone said that tom made a comment like yeah i would have done it with another guy what did tom say what gay thing did tom say um that i don't know that he would have i think that he would have been fine to watch kristen with another guy um oh okay well that's not so bad i thought like he was getting in on it or something i do remember there like when i was watching the this the special i was like you know i've only learned one thing this episode and i can't wait to mention it on the podcast but even that i can't

remember it's just a bunch of like little random scenes of them like bickering laughing doing stupid things nothing too special yeah that's just stupid so glad it's over can't wait to see what they do next year because what are they going to do they're going to make olivia palermo a lead i guess because she's like the biggest bitch left and she hasn't done anything yet and they're going to have to kind of bring in new people i mean horse face number two can't do anything no what are they going to do i know and by the way i'm so glad that bravo found another way to expose us to even more spray tans and ass shaving because i was like oh you know or ass waxing i was like you know we haven't seen it enough on this show or the other shows thanks for cramming in

extra footage of it on the on this like secrets revealed special yeah i can't with that show and you know what i really wish that we could have that Lisa fighting with these bitches, because she would take all these bitches down. Yeah. And before, I know that we're moving back after we just moved on, but I have to mention my favorite part of the episode, because I forgot. Oh, okay. Is when they're back

at the hotel, and Ken's like, alright, darling, it's just me and you against the world forever, smoking their cigarette, which someone pointed out was like the couple on House of Cards sharing a cigarette, like when they're ruling the whole world. Oh, yeah. Which is funny.

But also Lisa's crying, and Ken makes a chess comment, which I thought was very interesting. He's like, you know, they set it up, and then Kyle had a checkmate at dinner. And Lisa stopped crying and looked at him and went, that won't be a checkmate. Or, that won't be the checkmate. And then she kind of smiled. And I was like, you go, bitch. Yeah, because you know what? If she wasn't manipulative before, now

she will be. And you know what? What these people don't realize, they're always like, you see what happens whenever you go up against Lisa? She destroys you. It's like, no, Lisa doesn't destroy you. What happens is, you go up against Lisa, you look like an idiot, the public decides they don't like you anymore and then you're destroyed because of that it's not because of lisa it's because you go after someone who's likable and nice well not just not nice but this one that's likable you could read the con you should all go to bravo tv which you

know i don't like plugging that shit but go to it and read the comments on these ladies blogs they are hilarious people are just ripping them to shreds. All of them. The only one who's not getting ripped to shreds is Lisa. Yeah, good. I don't even think she's posted hers yet. But everyone else is getting it. And they're going to say, well, it's because she has a show with Andy Cohen.

They're only allowing good things on her blog. They're going to have a whole set of reasons. But they don't realize it's because of them. They stupid faces okay so speaking of brandy supposedly being told by mimi to bring down the most powerful one to become the most powerful over at real housewives of atlanta kenya is bringing down the most powerful one to become big time kenya's doing an expert job of that. That bitch is doing it right. She is making Nene look like the biggest fucking fool ever. Nene is losing her temper left and right.

She's saying things that she's not going to be able to take back. Like, she's pissed off every gay in America at this point. There's no coming back from this shit. And I am loving it. It is hilarious. Oh, my God. It is amazing. So I think we had,

there were basically two major events on this episode, right? Which was one was that there was a surprise party for Peter. Um, and at that surprise party, Kenya and Nini sort of brokered an uneasy truth piece, whatever truce. Um,

and then, but, but he was also still pissy at Peter because Peter had words with her at the last thing. And then the but, but he was also still pissy at Peter because Peter had words with her at the last thing. And then the other significant thing that happened was that the Bailey agency put together what actually looked like a really fun event called the Bailey Bowl. It was like the first time ever that Cynthia and or Peter have put something together that I think looks legitimate. And so now if you remember the last time there was a field day on Bravo, you may remember that it did not go so well. And it was in New Jersey.

And it wound up with Gia crying on the field. And what's her face? It was Jacqueline scolding her with a picture book in the living room or something like that. So basically, Nini was on the same level as nine-year-old Gia. That's what happened this week. Well, she's mad because Marlo is friends with Kenya now. And she is not even pretending to come up with another reason to be mad at Marlo. That's pretty much it.

So now she's completely cut off from Marlo. And Marlo, of course, is not going to be you know turned away like that so she straight up goes after nini and follows her and pulls a charrette yeah following nini out and criticizing her yeah i just repeated that you're busted ass missing teeth yeah rented car i'm rich bitch i'm rich! Let me tell you something. Marlo is a beast. She's an ogre. She might be a man.

She's all sorts of things. And sympathetic is not one of them. But in this episode, I have to say, I thought Marlo, like, she seemed like she was being really nice to Nini. And Nini had a whole attitude. It's like, you know what, Nini? Get over yourself. Girls can be friends with other girls. And this goes back to Beverly Hills, too. You know what?

This is a problem that seems to be very prevalent amongst Bravo women, which is that they're too territorial over each other. Just stop being jealous of each other for once. You guys are tearing each other down. I mean, I see what you're saying. But

Nini is correct. Kenya is hating Nene. She's doing whatever she can to get on her nerves, and she's purposely befriending Marlo because she knows it's going to piss off Nene. I honestly believe that. But Nene is dealing with it in the wrong way. Like, she's totally manipulating you. She's trying to make you crazy, and it's working. I mean, this is like two weeks in a row now. You've looked like a complete asshole. like she's totally manipulating you she's trying to make you crazy and it's working i mean this

is like two weeks in a row now you've looked like a complete asshole what did she scream about donald trump as she was storming off she's i don't know some well i know that like marlo said something like have donald trump fix your hair and i think nini said something like i don't know it was so like i was like this my jaw was dropped i wasn't really taking in any specifics i was just like these people are so ridiculous. So ridiculous. Loved it the whole time. Meanwhile, poor Candy, she's like, see now, where's Riley? Because, see now,

everyone's cheating on me right now. Everyone's cheating like, see, I'm the only one who went back to starting line with my hula hoop. I love how Candy got so competitive. I love how she entered with all those cheerleaders and everything. Yeah. I don't even know who was competitive. I love how she entered with all those cheerleaders and everything. Yeah. I don't even know who was winning. I was cleaning the house when that shit happened.

I don't think that anyone was taking any reliable scores. We have got 12 minutes. So what's the show's happened? Okay, the Shaws. Do you want us to talk more about Atlanta? Do you have anything else? No, except just to say that Nini is acting the fool. Okay.

So 12 minutes before Ronnie has to leave. So let's talk about Shazas sunset reunion, but maybe she'll quit. Who knows? Okay. The Shazas sunset reunion. Okay. More crazy people.

So basically we sat through an hour of Gigi and MJ saying the nastiest things to each other, belittling each other, Gigi calling MJ fat and stupid, MJ just saying just terrible, terrible things. And then we get to the hour, at the end of the hour, and Andy's like, hey, MJ, can you say one nice thing about Gigi? Is there anything that you love about her?

And MJ's like, everything. I just, I love it all. I love her all. And Gigi's like, I love her too. It's great. I love her. It's likeigi's like, I love her too. It's great. I love her. It's like, what? These people are certifiably insane. That's the way I hate that show. They are so gross to each other and they're supposed to be friends. They are so gross. And if you ever called me fat and ugly, I'm sorry, we're not going to be friends again, ever.

I don't want to become president. You stop just recalling someone fat and ugly and then you think mj is gonna have a higher moral ground and gonna say oh you're gonna call me fat and ugly that's really nice gg but instead she goes you're gonna call me ugly with that nose so they're ripping each other apart they're just crazies. And meanwhile, there was also, they tried to burn Lily at the stake, but I don't know. I still continue to be on Lily's side. I feel like... Lily is like a non-player. They put Lily in a really difficult position in terms of this whole party thing.

Regardless of whether her party sucked or whatever, if she had a finite number of seats and MJ who calls her all sorts of awful things and is mean to her and has tried to push her out of the group millions of times and MJ doesn't have the courtesy to RSVP until the night before, I think it was fine for Lily to say, sorry, can't accommodate you. And I think it's like bullshit that now lily looks like the bad guy when it was mj who put her in that position well i think that the thing with her is look these people are already friends when you're coming into the situation they're horrible fucking people if you're going to be on this show you're going to have to be a horrible person like if you're not willing to play then you're going to be on the sidelines which is what happened this whole season and why she won't be back for the next season um like i don't blame you and you're totally right that these people are awful like they are horrible they're all going to hell but you know that's kind

of why people watch them on tv so if you're going to be nice do it somewhere else lady by the way i saw sasha you know uh this is america i saw him at the Abbey this weekend, and I almost was like, oh, I should take a picture with him and put it on our Facebook page. And then I thought to myself, you know what, Ben? There are, you do have some standards. Doesn't it feel good to know? Were you standing up a little taller after that? A little bit. He was actually kind of cute, I have to say.

He looked good. What else? Oh, so reza was looking completely nervous this whole time yes eyes and uncomfortable and you know when reza looks nervous it's because he's about to take somebody rent a bus with mike's picture on it and run them over in the middle of the street i thought you were gonna say he was nervous because he couldn't find the sliders on the table how fun is that that's so persian that's so persian to put the sliders front center like only white people hide the sliders there's so much food on that table and they're all actually pigging out yeah they're they're eating the entire time that was the funniest part uh but he's about

to throw somebody completely under the bus because that's pretty much what reza does he he's friends with you tells everybody your best friends and then he fucks you over because he has no life or storyline to speak of of his own so andy uh asked him about the thing with mike and it's all off mike's a user mike's lazy mike's this mike's then they go at each other and then that ends with well now how do you feel about reza i love him like a brother he's an asshole reza will this ever be fixed no it's unfixable it's not gonna be fixed that is like it's like would be so hard for it to be fixed like for it to be fixed like I would have to have some compassion and like I've realized that like I just don't have like compassion right now it's just not something that I have in my life. I don't have it.

I did love what Mike said. He doesn't even have a family because his mom won't even speak to him. I know. That was good. I liked the way Mike took him down. Yeah, Reza. Whatever, they're going to have another fake hug next week where they're going to apologize and say, I just want our friendship back.

And it's going to be fake and nothing will be resolved. Yeah, there's Asa. So next so next year everybody's gonna find some reason to go against us yeah yeah asa's next ha get poisoned from diamond water some shit's gonna go down i don't know but she's next because that's basically how it works on this show yeah absolutely um there's bethany got canceled we i think we talked about that last week, didn't we? And then did you watch Blood, Sweat & Heals this week? Oh, yeah. We still have another show. Yeah.

Forming, yawn, yawn. Not as explosive as other episodes, but I am a big fan of this show. And you know what I loved? I love that they returned to the Wesley Snipes well. And once again, Micah called Geneva Wesley Snipes. And this time they actually put a side-by-side picture up on the screen. I was like, oh, hell no. And they did. It was hilarious. And you know

what? Totally accurate. Totally accurate. Oh, I love Micah. She keeps saying, well, you know, my husband was cheating on me. He was in a relationship of 20 years. That means you were cheating, bitch. You know that, right? You're the other woman in this. But she didn't know. The whole thing was that she didn't know yeah yeah exactly but she once you find out you stay

with a man who's like cheating on someone who's been with for 20 years yeah there is something not right with that girl and it's not just the alcohol no i know well obviously she's a little bonker she feeds like wine to her chinchilla and rocky after barack obama so she's like she's got one screw loose but i would have it no other way, personally. But you know, just as I was watching the show last night, I think Daisy's mom came through, and I just was thinking that like, it really is, I feel like the show is so refreshing because all these women, they really are significantly smarter than the women in Atlanta or on Married to Medicine, pretty much any reality show coming out of Atlanta.

These women are definitely brighter. And you can see all the parents, several of the parents have appeared on the episodes. And you can see these are women who come from education. Like, their parents are all, like, educated professionals. And it's just, it's refreshing. And I think it's, like, really, it's important that you see this because see this because honestly as we've said many many times before bravo makes black people look ridiculous and it's like i think it's nice that there's finally like educated black people on bravo who sure they may be fighting but they're not like looking like total idiots you know

well that's the problem with the show but they still have good fights though they still have very good fights so boring i'm not getting it i'm not getting it and they're like everyone's too hordy toity to fight but they they're the ones like starting it and calling someone an alcoholic 20 times a week on national tv like that is starting a fight like you can act all smart blog lady dimitrio whatever yeah but you're just as low down and dirty as everybody else. You just speak really well. I don't know. I'm not into smart people on TV. I do not

believe it. I don't think it works. I think we need to go back to degrading television. And look, if gays aren't allowed to look smart on TV, why should any other minority? You know? Let's all get back to looking stupid so we can keep Bravo on the air.

The sad truth is that blood, sweat and heels is kind of like Bravo's answer to Downton Abbey. It's like the refined show that they have. So the most educated and well-spoken people are on blood, sweat and heels. I mean, you had to have laughed a little bit when Micah said that, like,

if there was going to be a fight, there would be pieces of too long food all over the walls. You had to have laughed at that a little bit. I did laugh at that. But it's mostly just boring. It's like they won't fight, but they'll get right up in each other's face and stare each other down.

And otherwise, what are they going to fight about? It's like, you're an alcoholic. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. I've seen it i know i don't know i i i'm enjoying it again because i just i i know someone who is like a like who drinks a lot and is like destructive and has kind of um hopefully he's not listening but he has kind of alienated himself from a lot of us and i know what that's like it's actually a very real situation to be in and um so in certain ways i kind of identify with the main conflict of this

show um but i also think that the characters are really kooky and funny and um i uh i don't know i just i love it and i think brie is sort of like a great semi-villain you know because she's just so she's such a prissy bitch it's. She really is a prissy little bitch. She really is a spoiled brat. And she's so fake. She's so fake. It's great. But then when you start calling her on her shit, all of a sudden her claws really come out. Which is kind of my favorite type of character.

Yeah, you know, she was acting kind of like the sweet, innocent one. So it's funny that she's ending up being the biggest bitch out of all of them. Yeah. Well well that's good so ronnie guess what it's time for you to leave this is this was the shortest one we've ever done i think i know can you believe we covered all the shows in one hour hour that is not right so lisa vanderpump if you did in fact listen um hi she probably tuned out a long time

ago yeah she's probably like what the hell is this? She's like, oh, these are my supporters? Never mind. I'm on Team Brandy now. She's like, I admit it all. She's like, if these are the sort of people that are going to follow me now, then I admit it all. I put the tabloids in the suitcase.

I did plant Sheena five years ago. I am friendly with Sheena. i do have conversations with her yeah and by the way when is when will brandy realize that sheena is probably there because the producers put her there and i like by the way that brandy was like blaming lisa for um that for sheena being at dancing with the stars i mean come on stop being so narcissistic brandy to think that like every move everyone makes is like somehow involves you like either like thinking of you or thinking how to take you down please she got invited to the show because she's on bravo and she's works for lisa and lisa probably said to her employees like if any of you want to

go see dancing stars let me know yeah and not only that, but Brandi brings herself down. I mean, she has screwed herself over so hard. I don't even know how she still has custody of those children. All they have to do is take in her Twitter feed. Like, take some fucking screenshots. Yeah, seriously. She's just a terrible, terrible human being. Like, shut up already over there, Brandi.

You and Yolanda, get in the car, drive somewhere, and shut up already over there brandy you and yolanda get in the car drive somewhere and shut up i mean i don't i'm not i don't have a category quite yet because i want to see when we find out that marie really has been sleeping with tranny hookers i need to see that yeah do you know it's the housewives all right so on that note um if you would like to continue this conversation if there's anything we missed because we were being super fast, go to our Facebook page, facebook.com forward slash watch what crappens. We also have a Twitter account, by the way, called at what crappens. You can find Ronnie at trash talk tv.com. He does very funny recaps of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Go check that out. I'm at b-side blog.com. And my Twitter handle is bsideblog and that's my Instagram too and my Vine and all that sort of stuff. And Ronnie's at TrashTweetTV. So really, you should be following us

because we'll make your life much better. I got you. So thanks everyone for listening. Ronnie, good luck going to wherever you're going. Yeah, thanks everybody. Talk next week. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger.

Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny.

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