Watch What Crappens - #117: The Calm Before the (Sh**) Storm

Episode Date: March 4, 2014

Not much happening on Bravo this week, what with the slow death of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) give it the ole college try! That's your cue to start crying about us moving out of the house. Also, we weigh in on Bravo's new tribute to humanity, Southern Charm. Join us! Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-cra... On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/w... Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrap... Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of $2.95. What a wonderful Mardi Gras. That's why it's Shaw's Vanderpump Rules Come gather round and make fun of his fools The podcast about Bravo

Nothing runs with Bravo. But that's okay. We only care about Bravo. Watch what crap ends. Watch what crap ends. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends? Crap ends.

Crap ends. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap Watch What Crappens and then tomorrow's the day that we go on a diet? Well, I mean, I'm not Catholic, so I can binge and diet whenever I want to. Well, I'm so annoyed because I was at some gay bar on Saturday and it was Mardi Gras and they were wearing glitter thongs. I guess that was the only difference. But everybody was like, oh, it's Mardi Gras, it's Mardi Gras.

And so I totally binge drank and then I got a pizza after and donuts and stuff. And then, I don't know, I totally binged drink and then I got a pizza after and like donuts and stuff. And then, I don't know, I just binged like crazy and then that wasn't even Mardi Gras, so I have to do it all over again. No, Mardi Gras in French means Fat Tuesday. So Mardi Gras, well, apparently

the days leading up to Fat Tuesday are all Mardi Gras, but today is like the most Mardi Gras-iest day of all the Mardi Gras. Hence, it's Tuesday. It's Fat Tuesday. And then tomorrow is Lent. Or actually, tomorrow technically is actually Ash Wednesday. So you'll see a bunch of Catholic people with smudges on their forehead. Or as we like to call them in the Middle East, targets.

Just kidding, guys. So just to get this stuff out of the way, you can find me, Ronnie Karam, at Ronnie Karam on Twitter or my site at TrashTweetTV on Twitter for updates on recaps. I'm also on Instagram with TrashTalkTV at Instagram.com slash TrashTalkTV.

You can find Ben at all social media outlets, including Twitter, Vine, Facebook, Instagram, J.Crew, Reza's fan site at B-Side Blog and you can find us on Facebook

at Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens we are on there right now reading your comments as we record every week we you know post a little what do you want to talk about thing and talk crap with you guys while we do the show so come on over you can also follow us on Twitter at What Crappens. And we're not on that one as much,

but we still answer and like to get your tweets and stuff. So come over there if you like it. Okay, now let's get on with the show. I hate all this beginning crap. I know. So I think the first big announcement is that as we've been speaking, I have downloaded the Jax Taylor Fitness app for my iPhone. And it's a free app. It's 23 megabytes, which is rather large for an app. We've I felt inspired to get this app because I felt bad

I went to his the Facebook page for the app. And there's only 50 likes. And that's just that's just sad for such a superstar, such a luminary the fitness industry you know what's really funny is if it came out today it would be one thing but someone posted this on our facebook like last week and he have 37 likes yeah i mean that's not you know that's not very good he he also has something on his the the most recent post or the one that's been pinned it says a, a night in the life of Jax Taylor contest. Ever wonder what it's like to hang out with Jax? Now you can find out. Oh, God.

Are you guys excited? Do you want to know what it's like to itch and burn? Yeah, no kidding. No kidding. What's it like to wake up with oozing sores after just sharing an appetizer with somebody? Because you know that shit crawls across the plate. Wait, you guys want to hear the details? Okay. Yeah. Number one, run time is from friday to sunday whatever friday and sunday

those may be that's when the contest will be okay number two here's the contest enter to win a night in the life of jack taylor and see why you really do need to train so hard to be him clear tables empty glasses wash wash and then rinse. Put random liqueurs in a glass and call it a cosmopolitan. Crush up some cucumbers and call it an infused martini. Sweat all over somebody. Breathe your bad breath onto a waitress who's 20 years younger than you. Wait, there is a little bit of a disclaimer here.

It's a comedic disclaimer. Please note that Jax Taylor and all parties involved with the Jax Taylor Fitness app will not be held responsible for extremely bad hangovers, waking up next to random girls or guys, damage incurred by wild punches, missing Jax, and hitting you, bad mug shots. We don't recommend letting Jax drive strive being dumped by your significant other or any other crazy debauchery you might stumble upon oh god i don't know that's like that's really cute but you're like 40 so maybe reel it in a little i know it's this just seems like one of those like sad you know it's just sad yeah that is pretty sad to follow that is pretty sad now if they made an app that's like i think if jack's had an app it should be something like an audiobook reader like you could put let's say i got a book off of amazon or something i could enter it and

then the voice of jack's reads it to me because it would just be fun to listen to him stutter. It would be like a white noise machine that you can go to bed on. If you peek inside his brain, just a lot of white noise. I actually have a dilemma, by the way, with this app because I have now launched it and the very first thing I have to do

is sign up with either giving an email and a password or sign in with Facebook or Twitter. For some reason, I just don't trust this app at all. Do not give it your email. You'll get a virus. I think I will. I won't get a computer virus. I think I will actually

be emailed a... No, your computer will get a virus, but it'll actually be like warts. Yeah. I'm actually going to receive an enclosure and I I'm going to open it up, and somehow it will come out of the computer. It'll be like one of those Mucinex guys. Your keyboard is just going to have warts all over it and sores. I'll stay away from that one.

So I think I'm not going to go any farther than the home screen. And I think I'm going to delete jack's fitness jack's taylor fitness right now bye jacks sad thing is that this will now always be in my itunes cloud oh well i'd rather be fat and clean okay i'd rather just be fat dirty and have dignity than be fat disease thin disease and no dignity yeah okay so the next thing is joe judice and theresa judice went to court today to plead guilty because basically they were fucked yeah so that was their only option or to fight it which they can't do and obviously they can't afford either so they both pled guilty joe faces like five years and Teresa faces two, which, you know, is pretty amazing that that's all they face considering they're facing 40 something counts.

I know. Well, she'll probably only go away for like a week or she'll have like home, home jail, whatever they call it. Home prison. I can't, I can't, my brain is like you are sentenced to stay in a used home for the next five years. They're going to have to, like, pawn the giant, like, doorknobs they have on that massive door. Chateau. But I think she'll probably make up all right. And then he will be gone for a little while.

But, you know, it'll be great. He'll get raped, which is, I think, something he's been secretly wanting, to be honest. Yeah, there's always rumors that he's stopping at porn shops to get blowjobs from dudes in jersey so you know now he doesn't have to hide as much yeah i could see him totally wanting i dropped the soap who cares so what so what yeah you ever do that thing like you know when you're a little kid you know you guys show each other your penises and uh you know you like suck each other off you know who cares that We're just married in jail. It doesn't matter outside of here. Who cares?

So what? Doesn't make me a fag. He's probably a power bottom. Let's be honest. Yeah, I would imagine that he can probably take it. I mean, he's with Teresa. I just imagined the scene from Deliverance, and I imagine that with Jojo Dice. Actually, Ned Beatty would be, like, ten times hotter.

That's going to be a new t-shirt, and we're going to sell that on one of the websites that you guys buy with our GoDaddy code. Ned Beatty would be 10 times hotter. Oh, God. Okay, I'm looking at... Yeah, everybody is just talking about jail, jail, jail, jail, jail, jail, jail, jail. Okay, so let's move on to some other gossip. You guys have been posting really fun stuff. And obviously nothing happened on Bravo this week, which is why we're talking about a bunch of BS.

It's like the mailbag episode. Yeah. Hey, guys, it's the only queen. Oh, good. Okay, so blind item number 11 from crazydaysandnights.net. This current real housewife in a city that might not get another season is divorcing her husband. Well, he is divorcing her. Anyway, that is not the point, since they haven't announced the divorce.

The point of all this is that she has been seen over at one of her old customers' home. He was a very big customer. He met his second wife at the same place. He is an actor. Gee, who do you think that could be? This is a very big customer. He met his second wife at the same place. He is an actor. Gee, who do you think that could be? This is a terrible blind item. It's not blind at all, huh? Krupa!

Yeah, it's a god bee. So she's already going to get divorced from her gay husband? Come on, guys! I think I just saw a picture of the two of them, and Romaine Lettuce is looking really hot these days. Well, yeah, it's about time to come out of the closet and go find a boy. Get two of them and and uh romaine lettuce is looking really hot these days well yeah it's about time to come out of the closet go find a boy get rid of her yeah well she's supposedly rumored to be coming to beverly hills which god i mean that shows hit rock bottom until she comes on it and then it's really you know it's like below just when you think you

can't go any lower do you think they'll really do that, bring her on? Gosh, I don't know. I feel like she would definitely tangle with Brandy, but the problem with Joanna Krupa is that she's too hyper-aware of her persona, and so she's no longer fun. I mean, she was never fun, but at least you could rely on her for yelling and screaming and getting drunk.

She didn't do that this past season, so now, honestly, she's useless to the world. Yeah, and once she becomes an alcoholic again, we want nothing to do with her we do not need anybody's sobriety on bravo okay you know who i'm talking about uh-huh so before we even get there um while we start in uh do we have any more gossip did you want to talk about anything oh this one's good tam balls barney was on, this is on Reality Tea. Real Housewives of Orange County's Tamara Barney insults a Facebook follower who called her gross

because Tamara posted some picture in her dirty ass bedroom with crap all over it of her in a bikini and she's got like Kyle Backfat hanging out of the back of the bikini. Otherwise, pretty good job, lady. Nice work eating. She needs to put more time into cunt fitness. back fat hanging out of the back of the bikini otherwise pretty good job lady um nice nice work eating she's a that's more time into cunt fitness yeah well no she is she is it's just all lower

body i don't think i don't think anybody's taught her pull-ups yet but she's uh someone said you're gross well they could have meant this disgusting room she's in because it's obviously like don't you have a maid aren't you supposed to be rich? You own a gym. So someone wrote gross. So Tamara went to this person's page and took, you know, who's a chunky girl, and took her picture and posted it on her Facebook and said, this beautiful person wrote me a message under my bikini picture saying, you look gross. I thought about deleting her until I looked at her face and I felt sorry for her give her some love and then she posted this woman's name and link to her facebook page look classy keep it classy tamra these are two people who need to do a lot more things with their lives yeah both of you both of you these are people that need to i don't know maybe like

take a walk outside and i know that like people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. But you know what, though? I don't care. I don't care if I break the glass. Because these two people especially are... This is just... This is sad to have gossip. It is.

Bravo's really kind of letting us down. It gets onto our podcast. Yeah. Bravo's letting us down. Well, let's move on to the housewives while we're talking about Bravo letting us down. Because the real housewives of Beverly Hills, I mean, come on with this. We not only have to watch Kimberly go off to college. We have to watch Gigi.

I mean, it is so stupid. I don't care about your stupid kids and their stupid college, all right? Get drunk and fight with each other. Yeah, this was a real, real dreadful episode. I mean, I think they were trying to thematically make it a show about parents and daughters, mothers and daughters, because every storyline, except for Lisa's,

had to do with parenting in some form. Yeah, and they're really showcasing great mothers. These are all boring parents. And I've said it every week, how many times do we have to watch these kids go off to college? I guarantee that next week on the season finale, there's going to be 20 minutes dedicated to phone calls to the girls. And I think they may actually go retrieve the girls out of their dorms slash apartments, drive them away somewhere, and then drive them back to the college. That way they can cry all over again.

Well, I just love that they're showcasing great motherhood. You've got Kim, who, I mean, obvious, I won't go there. And then you've got Yolanda Foster, who is making her daughter go topless in magazines to make some money and not go to college for a year so she can make a real living. Disgusting. Gross. Yeah, and I really don't like that she put Gigi up in that, like, beautiful apartment, obviously paid for by Mohammed. And she's like, well, I want her to have more of a working experience. I want her to be like, you know, it's like a Korea. It's Korea-based.

I'm like, lady, she's going to college. One of the most important aspects of college is the social experience. And by putting her in an apartment, I'm sure it won't really be too detrimental to her. But let her be in a dorm room. That's fun and it's important. And don't talk about how you like to keep your kids grounded. And then you lodge the freshman in some palace up in the sky. Yeah, that was bigger than Fraser's apartment that we saw in season one.

That thing was huge and by the way as i think most people who've gone to nyu can attest that like going to nyu is very like um you are very immersed like in the new york city ness of it all like you are immersed in the career elements a lot of people who are who are students at nyu from my understanding are also hold down jobs throughout the city in various different industries um it's not like where i went to school i was was in rural New Hampshire, you know, and that was more of a classically collegiate experience where there's like a green and there's like a football team and all that stuff. And yes, you are isolated and you're like college, college, college, rah, rah, rah. But like NYU is more of like, I think the campus culture is more of like a bridge to

being an adult, you know? Well, I love that she's like, you know, I don't want her to live in the dorms and live a party lifestyle. Bitch, your daughter is going to have a gigantic home that she doesn't have to pay for. She's going to have the best Coke and booze in the city because she's wealthy. She is going to be the party house. Sorry, that girl is going to get gang banged from the front door to the back door. She will be having party house. Sorry. That girl is going to get gang banged from the front door to the back door. She will be having so many parties there. She'll have all the various socialites and models

up there. It's going to be out of control. I wish that there was a handbook that I could write to say all the things I want you to do. How cause our tax to Dr. Bull? There, I said it now. Thank God I remembered. Good luck. Don't judge a book by its leathery cover. Open it up. See, I said it now. Thank God I remembered. Good luck. Don't judge a book

by its leathery cover. Open it up, see how much money is inside, and if there's more than a hundred, fuck it. Move your way up from there. I guarantee the first things that get destroyed in that apartment will all be all those stupid paintings. Oh, yeah. I'm sure, yeah.

I'm sure she wants the Joyce Girard like, yay Puerto Rico painting like hanging in her kitchen. Get out of here. Well, I'm sure someone's going to come in and be like, yo, what's the deal with all these stupid paintings? And Gigi will be like, oh, I don't know, and then, like, throw them out. It's like the girl who brings, like, her teddy bear to college and then realizes how uncool it is and then tosses it immediately. Yeah, and, like, frat boys poke a hole in it and start sticking their wieners in there when they're drunk just to be funny. Yeah, exactly. I feel like if you're going to go to college, go to college.

Live in the dorm. That girl can't even eat a piece of cake. No pun intended. Well, that shit's all boring. So what I did was I went to the Bravo blogs, which is my new obsession, and read these terrible, terrible blogs. First of all, Kim Richards. Okay, I know that she never got to go to school, but one thing she learned, exclamation points. The ride down was fun. There were moments where John and I just looked at each other with pride and sadness that our girl was leaving us.

She fell asleep. All I could do was stare at her. Flashbacks! She always brought me joy. Oh, blah, blah. Exclamation point. Exclamation point. She's a butterfly. I love turtles.

Lizards! It's like, oh my God. What are you, fucking five years old? But then the best thing is just scrolling down, and you don't even have to, like, look for good comments in here. All you have to do is start at the top kim you are very sad to watch i think you should take care of yourself and do us all a favor and leave the show please wow you said you were sorry in your blog but in the tv interview you were glad they were gone you should be ashamed of yourself and how old are you again deplorable behavior and then from lmc jacks why are you on this show you bring nothing to it

on the fact that yes you missed out on a lot of events due to your drinking don't get upset when it's being brought back up when you want to call someone out for not attending your daughter's graduation party bravo do away with kim next year please and then it's like 200 comments or actually this week it's only 50 no one's even paying attention to her. Yeah, it was a dull week. I mean, what I thought was crazy is that she's had other kids go off to college, correct? Like, this is not her first child going to college. It's the first one that she can remember. So you think she would have a good idea of, like, how to pack your kid to go to college.

I don't think she was packing before. I think this is the first time that she's actually been present. Oh, that's true. I mean, probably in, like, her imagination of what, like, the dorms looked like when she visited her other kids. They were just, like, sprawling candy lands, you know, with, like, candy canes coming out of the walls and gumdrops as pillows or something like that. They'd leave in September, and then in December when they'd come back from Christmas, she'd be like, Hey, did you get me anything from the store? It took forever.

Yeah, I thought you got lost in that store. Is it called college? It's so funny that the store is called college because I thought you were going to go to college, but you just went to the store for three months. Like, no concept of time. But they brought so much stuff.

I mean they loaded up a flatbed of a pickup truck. Listen, when I went to college – by the way, this podcast is going to be like Ben's stories of college because I have a few things to say once we get to Southern Charm. But when I went to college, it was like – what did I have? I think I had a computer. I think I had some – I had computer clothing had some computer clothing and some, like, office supplies and, like, maybe some sheets. And my dorm room was tiny. My dorm room was, like, the same size as Kimberly's. I didn't have to have a bunk bed, but it was... But what about your dust buster?

How did you brush your hair if you only had a straight brush? What about the curl brush? Hey, didn't you need something to do your eyelashes what about your eyebrows hey did you bring poles to make a tit because what if you want to make a tent in your room make some s'mores that's what you do when you're young yes she wanted it she wanted it like Kimberly to put up like a like a cloth barriers that way her roommates wouldn't see her oh my god you don't want the paparazzi trying to take your picture when you're sleeping.

When I was sleeping with that kid from Different Strokes, I couldn't get a minute alone, Kimberly. Stupid Kim. But I do love when Kim has a breakdown because I can't even tell if it's real. I can't tell if it's

pill-induced, but I love how she cries because it's real. I can't tell if it's like pill induced, but I love how she cries. Cause she's like, I see Kim going out. What the hell is happening to you? Then she just turns into a whisper. Then she becomes like a creepy, like Haley Joel Osment whisper. She's like,

it still hurts. It still hurts for her to leave. It hurts. She's just, meanwhile, it still hurts it still hurts for an away it hurts meanwhile i still would like to remind everyone that her ex is super hot oh yeah super hot yeah way hotter than mauricio i'd also like to add oh god way hotter mauricio was hot i think because he was the first house husband who could, like, take off his shirt. I mean, really, I think of all of the husbands in all of the history of the house. And he had, like, a deep, booming voice. I think he was the first one who could actually, like, take off his shirt and the camera would stay on him and not, like, run from the room screaming. And so everyone was like, he's hot.

But then, you know, you get to know someone and suddenly he's John Leguizamo and he's a cokehead. Well, he's also gained some weight. I mean, I hate to be catty like that, but he's gained enough weight that he's lost some of the hotness. Sort of like the way Jax. Jax has gained some weight, too, and it really goes a long way to take away from your hotness. I think it just takes away from the hotness when they get involved with the woman business. It's just so gross. I thought that was my friend.

Those are my friends, and they totally betrayed me. So, you know, shut up. You're going to whine about being betrayed? Shut the fuck up, you know? You felt betrayed because they didn't list their house with you. SARS, that's been brewing for a long time. Meanwhile, we had the return of Taylor Armstrong this week. Did you notice that?

Taylor came back for a few years. Any scene involving pain. In this case, it was the kids getting their ears pierced. They were in excruciating pain. So, of course, you've got to bring clown face in to smile at it all. She's got to distract them from the pain. She's got to provide a deeper, greater threat to them. That way they don't realize that there's a gun in their ears.

Yeah, I know. It's like, just to alleviate this pain a little bit, mommy's going to put your face really close up to her right next to Taylor's. Scream so much you can't feel it. It's like being shoved into a funhouse. Yeah, it's like being pushed in front of a train so you don't feel somebody pinch you. That's more or less what was going on there. Pretty much.

But I was glad to see a shot of kennedy with all of her limbs and you know no black eyes and she hasn't been left at a mall or something which made me happy yeah and i actually thought that scene believe it or not i actually thought that scene was like very entertaining i thought it was hilarious that that portia was like fine at first like totally you know like oh like no big deal and then all of a sudden she was a wreck from wondery this is black history for real i'm francesca ranzi and i'm consciously what do most people think about when they hear the words black history r Rosa Parks, reconstruction, MLK, February, black history month. Exactly, exactly.

There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August, 1992, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow black history for real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad free on Wondery plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student

who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own,

she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex

collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. damn cute. I love Portia. She can do no wrong until she hits like adult age and then she'll be awful just like her mother because that's how it works. I'm awful just like my mother. I'm awful

in the exact same way as my mother is awful. It's just how it is. It's a circle of life. Oh gosh. So something about this show that we're just not talking about is the end of all this Lisa drama. So Lisa just jetted. She was like bye and in the blogs we find out that she didn Lisa just jetted. She was like, bye. And in the blogs,

we find out that she didn't even leave town. She just went to another hotel to enjoy the rest of her vacation, which is kind of hilarious. Which, by the way, I think she was totally within her right to do. I think that, like, if you're dealing with that bullshit from people,

I'm like, yeah, see you later. Totally. But, you know, everybody, of course, Yolanda's like, well like well you know what kind of friend leaves in the middle of the night without telling you and then everybody's all victimized because she walked away and kyle just looks so depressed because this is her last attempt at a storyline i mean really days of our lives no yeah um you know her husband no one even cares that her husband's sleeping with trannies they're

like stop bringing it up who cares like she's the only one still talking about it um in her bravo blog today or last night she says kyle why did lisa tell brandy i love you that's the headline kyle can't understand why if brandy was lying that lisa wouldn't have stayed to defend herself and spoken up against her shut the fuck up and it's two pages of her like well she's telling the truth then why did she walk away and then why did she tell brandy i love you and then and then and then well you know why because when you tell the truth sometimes if you say i didn't do it i didn't do it this is ridiculous stop it and then you keep coming back at them over and over again, you say, you know what? I'm going to remove myself from the situation.

How many times have we seen stupid Bravo people, probably including Brandy, take the quote-unquote high road when there's some sort of issue? They're like, I decided I would take the high road, and I just removed myself from the situation. So I think it's funny how sometimes these women are so hypocritical and that that sometimes they're all about like well why not have the conversation other times they're all about like well i just want to stay out of the fray like which one is it going to be which is the acceptable way to deal with things obviously yolanda wanted the confrontation yeah she needed it you gotta kind of feel bad for them because they really tried to build this all season long i mean we saw it at the very beginning of the season we saw them just trying to build this all season long i mean we saw it at the very beginning of the season we

saw them just trying to build this huge storyline and lisa just would not play along and it totally sputtered and backfired in their face but it didn't even backfire in a fun way it just totally petered out i mean so lisa leaves and they're all just sitting there they go well let us promise not to talk about it anymore. And then they literally sat there in silence and stared at each other because they had nothing else to say. And then they ran around town like, hey, let's go in the water fountain.

It's against the law. Let's jump over a pole. Did you know that if you get your hair cut, it is tax-deductible if you're a model? She's like, that's all I have to talk about. Yeah, it was pretty stupid. That whole episode was pretty bad. And next week, we have a big fake party at the big fake Chamber of Fake Commerce.

Yeah. That's what I loved also. So when Lisa was talking to Carlton, and Carlton's like, well, are you going to come to the Chamber of Commerce party? And Lisa's like, no, I don't think so. She's like, but it's the Chamber of Commerce. As if this were like really just a shade below the Oscars. You're the owner of a thriving business that has commerce involved, where people put money and commerce back and forth between each other.

You love chambers and you love commerce. How could you not come to the Chambers of Commerce party? Diane Chambers was your favorite character on Chairs. How could you not come? Carlton's funny accent. I want to know where Carlton is really from. I have a feeling it's like Jersey. Probably.

She's like some stripper in Jersey who wanted to get fancy. She probably went to Joe Gorga's tanning salon by accident. She got that hide. So are we done with Beverly Hills? Please. I can't even be funny about it. I'm sorry, listeners. I'm sorry.

Yeah. It's not our fault. Blame Bravo. Write them letters. Or you can go on their blog and say things like this. Like crap? It's almost not fair. You can go on to Bravo and say things like this to Yolanda, like Terry from Atlanta did.

And who is Yolanda Foster in this world? Coward! Thank you, Bravo TV, for making it all worth it at the end of the day. Okay, so next we have a new show! New show. As we know, Bravo has thrown a whole load of crap at the wall this season they ordered about 100 shows and they're just waiting to see what sticks so far that show with gay porn stars on a boat and alcohol what was it that maids on a boat yeah um below deck that's that's that that did well that got picked up and then uh

blood sweat and heels i think has been doing very well has it i don't know i think it's just just boring and what else has done well um i don't know it's certainly not collar girls our girls so what did you think of southern charm what is your prediction did you think of Southern Charm? What is your prediction? Do you think that it will do well? Well, here's what I think. I recorded it reluctantly because I know you wanted to talk about it. And I really had no interest. I'm like, listen, I got enough of Cameron from Real World San Diego when I watched that season. I don't need to watch a whole other show with her. That girl's from Real World San Diego?

Come on. Yeah. So I'm like, okay, whatever. I'll watch this. I have to say, I really liked it a lot. Oh, you did? Yeah, I loved it. Why?

I loved Southern Charm. I think it's because I decided that I wanted to be them. Oh, Ben, you wanted to be them? Well, they just have so much money and affluence. And, you know, I was raised in Westchester County, and I was not one of those affluent people, but I got to see them a lot. And seeing these people in their multicolored pants

and waspy southern ways just seemed like, ugh, that was the crowd that I wanted to be part of at one point in my life. And it just sort of awakened all these fond memories. That is so gross, because I remember that country club crowd when i was growing up and i feel like they were just douchey like rapists all of them you know just like douchey like i mean i think if we had rehytenol back then it would it

would have been a common mixer i think they're just disgusting and still when i look on facebook they're like running the car dealership you know know, and they're like obsessed with with like lineage obsessed with last names obsessed with saying the word scion and not referring to a car you know this i i i don't know there was that one guy who was that there was like a chubby guy who wasn't part of the main cast but he was like a friend of the cast who was so like digs like exactly what you expect like a 39 year old southern charlesteston person to be with lots of money. You know, he was, like, he had this cackle. He sort of seemed like a future Charles Durning type, you know?

Yeah, fat guy in a pink pinstripe suit. Or not even pinstripe. A pink striped suit. Yeah. He had, like, some sort of, like... Did you guys have Farrell's ice cream where you grew up what ferrell's ice cream have you ever heard of that no um well where i grew up there's this place called ferrell's ice cream and then when it's your birthday everybody comes out in

these like pink striped suits and straw hats and they make a bunch of noise and they have drums and stuff and they sing happy birthday but it's like their own version. And it's really embarrassing. And I feel like that's his suit. And his personality. All together. Ferrells. Well, why don't we go through the characters? Why don't we talk about all the characters? Well, Cameron, you guys.

She's just one of the guys. She'll sit with you at lunch and talk about sex and boobs. I mean, she's so much one of the guys that she can suck your dick. But it doesn't make her gay. I actually, when she was just, she's so much one of the guys that she can suck your dick, but it doesn't make her gay. I actually, when she was on Real World San Diego, I actually really liked her a lot. I was like a big fan of hers. But I do hate when people talk about girls being one of the guys because it's never true. Ever, ever, ever.

Yeah, it's like, oh, you said boobs at the table. That does not make you a guy. And also, all she talked about the whole time was how women have to get married and blah, blah, blah, which kind of automatically makes you not one of the guys. Yeah, absolutely. So she passed her real estate exam. And I'm sure she didn't start fighting with the other girl in the group named Jenna. And Jenna's whole thing was that she could have been like a typical blonde southern belle, but instead she sort of rebelled. And now she sort of looks like she's in the Black Swan. She has like this fake Miley Cyrus hairstyle, which to me feels very forced.

And I think the thing is that Miley Cyrus is sort of forced already. So to do a forced version of Miley Cyrus means that you're really, really out there on the forced spectrum. Yeah. She's like, I'm rebellious, so I'm not just a dumb blonde. I'm a dumb brunette with shaved hair. It's like, you still act the same. You still talk the same. You know, she meets the rich douchebag that we'll talk about in a minute. He's wearing blue sunglasses.

And she's like, I like your blue sunglasses. It's like, oh my God, they're blue. They're so rebellious. I know. That's what I love. I love that the one guy was like, when they were talking about her, she's like, oh, I hear she has a mohawk. That's so hot.

Her hair is just sort of like up. But it's like not, I love how that like qualifies as something like noteworthy discuss. Oh, here she has some crazy punk rocker hairstyle. It's like she refuses to be blonde, so she's like the rebellious one. Ugh, gross. I also like how she talks about how she travels all the time, and then she's like, but I think I'll stay in Charleston until I get bored again. I'm like, no, you're going to stay in Charleston

until you get kicked off the show. Let's be honest. Don't act like you're here because you want to be here. Well, where else is she going to go mean that girl has charleston i mean if she was really a girl who was like fuck this town i hate everybody in it i want them all dead i cut myself i crashed into a homeless person just to see if i could get away with it you know shit like that i'd be all behind her but she's just some dumb blonde girl with a shaved head. Like it's not a real rebel. Give me a real rebel.

I think that's what this show is missing, you know? It really needs, because did you know Revenge was filmed in Charlotte? Like the pilot of Revenge because it's a beach town. They have all these big mansions and stuff. Yeah. And I was thinking while I was watching it, that's what this show needs. It needs like the lead of Re revenge who just wants everybody dead. She's there pretending to be nice, but she's just plotting behind, and they're all going to die in the end.

No, they don't. You know why? Because they tried to do that to Laguna Beach Season 3, and it sucked. When it comes to these shows, you just want to see them rich and being stupid. And you don't want an underdog. Just let them be rich. I don't say underdog. I said murderer.

I want a murderer. You murderer i want to murder like a poor you know yeah well uh on revenge she's not poor she's got billions of dollars yeah yeah exactly um then uh let's see so the other big character was thomas who um thomas has i forget i think his last name is like Ravenel, Ravenel, whatever. There's a bridge that's named after his family. And he was, I think, a state treasurer. And he went to jail for six months for cocaine of some sort. Cocaine distribution.

Now he's back looking sort of like an older Dennis Quaid. And he's sort of like, I guess he's trying to resurrect his political career, but doing it in the worst possible way. First misstep is going on to a Bravo TV show, I would say. Second misstep is wearing sunglasses on your head and sunglasses on your shirt. It's like, douchebag times two.

He makes jokes about his cocaine use, which I don't really mind, but I think... Yeah, he's like, hey, I didn't have a problem with cocaine. I just like the way it smells. It's like, wow. I mean, that's funny, but you just said you're trying to resurrect your political career. And he also

boned some girl without barely knowing her. Yeah, exactly. And on top of that, so his whole thing is that his friend comes over. He's like, alright, well, if you're serious about being a politician again, you're gonna need to choose a girl and just stick with her he's like okay i guess i can do that so first of all that already is like you shouldn't we shouldn't be able to see that like we should not like the voters should not be able to say hey we think

your marriage is a sham we know this because you had someone come in and say choose a woman you know so that's already a bad move that one comes from a good family get her and he's like okay i'll fuck her and see how that works out yeah there's a first lady for you yeah it's like uh he really just doing every single thing wrong in every possible way yeah he's pretty awful but none of them really have to do anything they're also well well some of them have to work but the main ones don't have to do crap. They're just rich. And then, um,

I liked it. They're trying to make him like house of cards. Yeah. You know, he's like, well, this is how politics works. It's like you were the treasurer first of all.

Okay. It's not like you were the governor. I also, um, I love that. He's so wealthy that his like redemption story, his comeback story is just like so impossibly 1%. It's just like,

you can't help but laugh. Cause like most people are like, well, when I went to jail, when I got on drugs, like I turned to music to help me or I turned to like helping poor people. And it really saved me. And he's like,

well, when I got out of jail, I was like really listless. And then I found polo. It's like, it was just like such a extremely rich person thing to say. I built my own polo field for a million dollars. House of Tards. You know, after I got down with drugs, I realized that I didn't really find myself until I discovered the joy of buying lots of diamonds.

Yeah, so stupid. Okay, so what about the guy who's his friend who still lives with his mom? Whitney. Whitney, who, by the way, is an executive producer of the show. Here's what Whitney to me looks like. Whitney looks like Chuck Bass mixed with Jonathan Anton. Well, my question is, if you're going to get a wig, why would you get a receding hairline wig?

Like, get a full wig. We can still, it's like, it's almost like, he's like, I know that no one's going to buy that I have a full head of hair. So I'll just make them think I'm kind of bald. Who cares? Just get a full wig. I mean, did you see John Travolta on the oscars that was a full-on

eddie munster wig he would he looked like theresa judice with that wig like a hairline all the way down to his eye if you're gonna do it just own it of receding hairline wigs stupid well i love that he also is sort of like also kind of the quote-unquote rebellious one like when he was having a conversation with thomas later is telling thomas like you gotta stop with the cocaine jokes if you're serious about like going into politics and then thomas is like you know the funny thing about whitney is that like even though he wears all these crazy clothes and they cut to him he's wearing like a white blazer with a black shirt it's like it's not it's not like he's wearing like a halter top and and a thong or something you know well i still like that the politician guy's

like i'm a libertarian he said that like five times i'm part of the libertarian party i was like i don't i don't know that you really understand what libertarian means dude i don't know that a libertarian would be like on his own polo fields uh yeah well no making making coke jokes. His money is doing with it what he wants. Oh, Lord. The thing is with Whitney is when he came on, I automatically was like, oh, here's the gay one. I just automatically assumed that. So I was surprised that when he...

In fact, I still think he's gay. He talks so much about his freaking stabbing cabin that I almost feel like he's overcompensating. Oh, a stabbing cabin. Yeah, he wants to buy a stabbing cabin. That is so gross. And I mean, listen, he lives with his mother, who already is like a gay icon. Like, the moment I saw her, I was like, well, she's a gay icon already. You know, you can tell.

She's basically Lucille Bluth. She walks into the martini, you know. Being played by Linda Carter with a southern accent. Yeah, and then the gay chef is really funny. It's like those are his parents. The drunk mom and then her best friend the gay chef is really funny it's like those are his parents the the mom the drunk mom and then her best friend gay chef yeah and he's this guy's like in his mid-40s if he's a day i mean how old playing guitar like he's in middle school yeah he looks older than his mom i thought actually when she walked in i was like oh, oh, this is his girlfriend. I swear to God. Oh, no, they would never date someone that old.

I know. But... Bless their heart. Bless their heart. But, yeah, he's pretty pathetic, but he seems like the nice one, I guess. It's too early to tell who's truly the nice one, because I feel like we're going to see some true colors soon enough. I can tell you the one who I think is the asshole. I don't even remember his name, but he's the lawyer. He's like the whiny lawyer. The asshole? Why? He has a job. I like all the ones with a job. No, I like that he has a job, but you can tell he's an asshole. Okay,

so here's the thing. He reminds me of some of the people I went to college with, actually. You know, I love my school, and I more or less really loved a lot of people I went to school with, but there were definitely some people there who were like very very very old money who sort of came through and many of them were actually extremely nice but every now and then you see something you can just tell just like snobby prick

and this guy seems like that type and in fact I get the sense that the lawyer guy I have to do some more research I actually get the sense that he's not as wealthy as the others. And I feel like he's trying to be a part of it a little bit more. And I feel like he's a little bit more, I think in his attempts to try to be part of that scene, he's going to be an asshole. Well, I mean, I think he's admittedly poor.

That's why he's a lawyer. That's why he has a job. It's like the real estate girl. They actually have to work. So I automatically like them because they have to work. And he didn't come off as too douchey in the beginning. But considering he's standing next to the guy who still lives with his mom and the politician who brags about how much coke he sold when he was in office, I don't know. I don't know.

I actually don't feel like he's douchey. I feel like he's like an asshole if there's a difference like i feel like he's just like like i feel like if i talk to him for a little bit i would feel shitty about myself afterwards oh yeah well i don't want to talk to any of them but i would fuck him so for me he wins okay he's okay for now um there's also shep oh is that the rich, the super rich young one? Yeah. He's like 35, and he doesn't want to get married, right? Or 33.

And he's like, my parents have been here since 1602. Well, congratulations. Congratulations on giving up slavery a second ago. I know. You guys have really come so far. Hey, y'all, did you see that really funny movie 12 years of slaves it's like i cracked up the entire time what a great episode of punk that was it's like we found a guy in the north we brought him down to the south

and told him hey guess what you thought you were free but you weren't so stupid it's so obnoxious watching these people but i kind of liked it too i was totally entertained about watching old money that really gets me excited because they're just so stupid and sad it's like you can have all the money in the world there is something like so much more refreshing about watching old money stupidity versus new money stupidity i think that i don't know i need all our listeners i don't know i don't need all our listeners i don't know i'm just trying to figure out what the difference is because they all seem so stupid to me especially the girls i feel like at least with the new money stupidity you know

especially on housewife shows and stuff like that the women even if they're married to a rich dude they're all trying to come up with their own business. Like there's some kind of pride in being an independent woman, even if it's fake, sorry, you know? And on this one, they just want to find a man. I'm having some audio issues and I can't always tell when Ronnie's speaking.

So if I'm talking over Ronnie today, I apologize. Oh, that's okay. So what were you going to say? No, I was gonna say, I think there actually is a difference between new money,

stupidity and old money and stupidity because new money, stupidity stems from people thinking that they are a lot classier than they are and thinking that they have a lot more taste than they have. And they act ridiculous and tacky and do stupid things in inappropriate situations. And that's hilarious. Now, old money stupidity is these people actually do have certain levels of class, you know, and they do have taste, and they do have some sort of refinery, but, like, the stupidity comes in them being totally spoiled, you know, and being totally, totally ridiculous in a whole other way.

And that's what I find is nice to watch, because we don't get to see that very often. I guess I just haven't seen the evidence that they have taste or class. I mean, I guess that they've been there a long time, but they, I mean, a pink pinstripe or a pink striped suit. And then I don't, I don't know. I think that's a lot.

It looks a lot better than like, uh, if you looked at Carlton's husband walking through a, through a hallway. Well, that's true. But I like that because at least like Carlton husband's a big goomba, but I can respect the fact that he actually did something. Like, these little rich white kids just sitting back and getting fat, you know, that's another thing. You're on reality TV. You better start working out. Yeah, they... Well, no, they have the look that's appropriate for that area, you know?

They're sort of... They have... I don't know. You know what's very strange about this show is that there are only two women on it. And that's a little strange for Bravo. Well, no, there's three because that redhead is a character too. She's not a cast member. Oh, she's not.

No. It looks like she's in the season. They showed her a lot in the coming up this season part. Yeah, but she wasn't in the opening credits. Oh, well, I guess he gets rid of her pretty quick then.

Well, we'll see. No, I think, you know, I mean, I know what you're saying. Like, you know, you have to respect people who work their way up, obviously.

But we're not watching Bravo to respect people. Necessarily always about that. And I also feel like half the people on Bravo who, quote unquote, work their way up are con artists and grifters. Yeah, that's true. But so were these people. You think all their money came to them legitimately? I mean, most of it was earned on plantations off the backs of slaves. And then later, I'm sure it was just all screwing people over, investing the millions they already had, you know? It's so hard not to resent.

You know, now when I watch a show like this, I'm like, this is why white people will always be resented. always be resented until you people stop this and i i renounce um my um whiteness the half of me that's white when i see shows like this like i'll stick i'll stay lebanese until this season's over because that's some bullshit i'm like i'm ready to embrace the waspiness of it i just love it i just i don't know i just I just love watching snooty people. I always have. That's why I loved Gossip Girl. That's why I loved I don't know, anything.

I just love Snooty People. Lucille Bluth. Although technically she's new money, I think. She is? Why? Because she lives in Newport. I don't know. She's borderline. Down Abbey. Perfect example.

Who? What do you mean? Perfect example of wealthy people that I love to watch. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do, too. Oh, the wrong fork. Oh, Mary. You brought up the soup. The footman brought up the soup instead of the valet.

He's wearing the wrong jacket at dinner. Sounding like my friend. Who you know. Your friend Ronnie. I don't know. I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this episode. I enjoyed this world also. Just a little different.

I'm on board. I'm on board. I'm on board, people. This to me is an aspirational show for me. I want to be wealthy and to be laughing at things that are below me in life. I don't want to have to be sitting at home eating

lentils, which is what I did today. I prefer new money wealth. I want new money. I want to be new money. I want to lentils, which is what I did today. I prefer new money wealth. I want new money. I want to be new money. I want to be like, I've got money. I'm buying a new iPad just because it came out. And I'm going to drive a new car today just because I can. And then I'm going to play video games in a movie theater that I've rented out for all my friends.

Like, I just want to be stupid like that. I don't want to be like, ooh. I wouldn't mind if some new money people clash with these old monies. That would be great, too. Well, how old can they be if they're on a Bravo show? I don't mean, is that even allowed where they're from? What? Just going on a reality show.

Well, normally I would say it is shocking because I feel like old money would never go on a reality show. be that people at this point are so starved for fame that these people who have like like generations of like southern royalty you know behind them have given them the okay people have bridges named after them people who are founding members of america people who have you know who knows what you know it's it is surprising that they're allowing themselves to be filmed oh lord help us you know what i want i I want a reality show on Bravo about the commenters. Like Zerena. It's all about you, right? Showing off your wealth at every turn like your daughter's apartment in NYC.

You came from nothing. Be a bit more humble. We can see through you, Yolanda, very clearly. I want to see a show about this bitch. In her bathrobe, with curlers in her hair chain smoking newports and like eating melted ben and jerry's like drinking it like a cup of coffee i think it's uh i think it's called the people's couch which we were not i don't know i really don't have any anything to say, Ronnie. I'm sorry to the listeners.

Well, it's a slow week. We could have just taken it off, but we didn't. We persevered. And I'm glad we did because I liked Southern Charm and I am going to continue watching it and I'm going to get some fashion advice from them. I plan to wear some green corduroys tomorrow with a pink shirt and a bow tie.

Oh my god. I plan to play some polo to find myself and maybe go into politics. Oh, good. Yeah, good treasurer. Good luck with that. He actually just decided to become treasurer because he thought he was going to find some treasure. He's like, alright, where's the map? And he did. He was selling

cocaine. Yeah, he did. He he was selling cocaine yeah he did he apparently did find treasure he's like well i was so sad after going to jail that i went and bought a plantation uh yeah but this week may have been lame but it is the calm before the storm because next week is actually we might have to change taping days because real housewives of new york is on tuesday and i was totally fine with ignoring shahs but we cannot just be ignoring real housewives of new york all right let's record on wednesdays then so yeah we might have to switch recording days to wednesday sorry everybody but come on we gotta we gotta be talking about this show when it's fresh because it is going to be hilarious. Sonya is dating some 23-year-olds.

What else is happening on this show? I don't know. But every time they show a preview, it's different footage. And it's all crazy and funny. By the way, I want to give a shout out to Sergio Quintanar, who did some impersonations of Luan with his wife, and he sent them to us. And I listened to two of them, and they were really strange. And I just want to say I appreciated your commitment to the bit. But they were funny. They definitely made me laugh.

You want to listen to one? What? um you want to listen to one what do you want to listen to one sure let's play one okay hold on i'm putting my earphone up to the microphone i hope this works this is sergio he says in honor of the return of real houses in new york please enjoy these sound bites my wife and i recorded of the countess okay here's one how dare you of the Countess. Okay, here's one. How dare you? Okay, here's another one. That's Chugga.

What are these two doing? I think they're, like, drunk. I think they sent this to us. They were, like, drunk, I think, when they sent them to us. Like, go on. This one is called Smoking Crack Outtake. Okay, this is Smoking Crack Outtake. They are

actually drunk. Italian Friends Alibi Number 3. What? Oh my god. Alright, I guess what we're trying to say is when you get drunk, please just send us soundbites of yourself at your wife.

We'd like that. Laughing in a corner. Yeah, that's fun. Okay, everybody. Well, thank you so much for listening. We will be back next week with a super-sized show because it'll be the finale of the dreck that has become Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and we'll have more Southern Charm and we will have the beginning

of Real Housewives of New York. And when does Married to Medicine come back? Do you know? Soon. And then in April. It comes back in April. Don't forget we have Real Houses of Atlanta York. And when does Married to Medicine come back? Do you know? Soon. And then in April. It comes back in April. Don't forget we have Real Houses of Atlanta. And don't forget we have Blood, Sweat, and Heals. Oh, yeah.

It's going to be a huge show last week. So don't worry. This was just a nice, relaxing sit down before it gets crazy. It was a palate cleanser. Yeah, it was a palate cleanser, you guys. You can find Ben on all social media outlets at B-Side Blog, or his blog, bsideblog.com. You can find me on Twitter at RonnieKarim

or at TrashTweetTV for recap updates. I'm recapping Real Housewives of Beverly Hills there, Night of the Show, so come see them. And I'm also doing Survivor in Two Minutes videos this season for Survivor. And those are also posted

the night after Survivor airs at Trash Talk TV. Thanks so much for listening to us, and don't forget to go to GoDaddy and get your $2.95 domain using the code WWC295. Is that right, Ben? WWC295.

Yeah, WWC295. Is that right, Ben? WWC 295. Yeah, WWC 295. Thanks, everybody. We will talk to you next time, okay? Bye, everyone. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network

have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It it's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me

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