Watch What Crappens - #145: Letter to Giner

Episode Date: September 24, 2014

Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) are back to talk crap about Real Housewives of Melbourne, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Below Deck and The Singles Project. Bonus audio blog reading of a vicious anonymous letter to Giner! Enjoy! Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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ends 295 because it's $2.95 for whatever you're going to buy. Well, it has to be a new.com or transfer. I just got that. I'm glad you explained it. So original. Why don't you just start a website about how original that deal is? So everyone, godaddy.com WWC2952.95,

and you get a new or transfer.com for the low price of $2.95. Hey everybody, Oh, when you look at your outfit, who cares what happens when, Ronnie. How's Texas? Oh, it's just hot. Actually, it's getting better. Lots of fat white people. It's nice to feel thin and dark again. I feel Lebanese here. I feel very cultural.

Yeah. You are. I feel not thin, but not like the guy with the hunchback in the bell tower, whatever. Oh, that's nice. It's always good, too. It's always good for Qu quasimodo to come down yeah so i feel good about that um welcome everybody you can find us on social media just search ronnie carom you can find me anywhere really i had to find anything for trash talk tv the recaps etc real funny recaps going on right now trash trash talk tv.com you can also find us on twitter at trash

tweet tv you can find me on youtube at trash talk tv.com slash trash tweet tv uh sorry trash talk t-e-e-v-e-e and that's where we're doing uh big brother in two minutes videos tonight's the last one so tomorrow's going to be a little late published because i'm in texas but it'll be a real fun video of the entire season in two minutes. You can also find Ben, B-Side, at B-Side Blog. You can find him there on Twitter. You can find him there on Instagram. You can find him there on Grindr.

You can find him there on Duolingo, if you want to know what languages he's learning. Come on, find him. That's right. Actually, on Duolingo, I'm Ben Dilker. I mean, I don't know if anyone cares. And on top of that's right actually i'm duolingo i'm bendelker i mean i don't know if anyone cares and uh on top of that i haven't used it in several months i have i have gone lax with my german learning i'm sorry to say oh you were learning german god you're a jew dude do you just want to be able to say no please stop it next time or what nine nine kind

kind sex kind sex that was hideous why am i starting with the holocaust Nine. Nine. Kind sex. Kind sex. That was hideous. Why am I starting with the Holocaust? It's because I'm around my mother. I was starting in a rapey place. I was saying no, no sex. German schizo videos. We're just

bursting out of the gate right here. Bursting out of the gate and all in an Australian accent. Yeah. So that's where you can find us on social media. We do have a subscription now. You can find that at Patreon. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N, Patreon. So patreon.com slash watch what crap ends.

If you subscribe, there's a lot of different incentives to subscribe per episode. We're doing a bonus episode for the base level subscribers. So that starts today. We'll be doing our first bonus episode today. After this show, we'll be talking Big Brother and lots of gossip. Yeah. And if you want to hear that episode, if you have already subscribed, you actually have to go to Patreon to hear it. We're going to upload it to Patreon.

Hopefully, it will be a smooth process. I have to say, personally, I'm very excited. We are already up to 83 patrons, and we're already up to $172 per podcast episode, which is... I can't even believe it. It's only been a week since we announced

it, and I am honestly really floored. I am too. I cannot believe it, and thank you everybody so much, because that means we're actually professionals, and we won't be cooking during the podcast or doing this in bed like we are today. I hope we didn't lead you to believe that the podcast actually becomes professional once we do, because I am in my bed in a guest room at my parents' house my underwear and ben's cooking things for a dinner party well i have actually i actually nothing is cooking right now the stove is the stove in the oven are off but i am just in from the gym and i'm just in sweaty sweaty tank top looking disgusting not camera ready for sure so thankfully this is just an audio podcast thankfully we're not making enough money yet to be doing the promised camera podcasts yeah but um yeah right now you can donate

a dollar per episode or i think it's a dollar per episode or just go look it's like one two or five or something yeah and you're born you don't the episodes will stay free so all the there's just more on top if you subscribe okay bonus content and we may come up with some more uh perks to more incentives for rewards uh for other donations but i honestly i really have to say a huge thank you because it really it really means a lot i think i'm i'm gonna assume for you too ronnie that that people donate because it uh you know i it this is it does make me it does make me feel even more like we are sort of like doing the right thing in the sense of like there are times I'm like looking at my bank account, looking where I am in life, and I'm like, should I really be devoting all this time to podcasting?

Is this really what I should be doing? But to see that I can actually – or we can actually earn some money off of it makes me feel like, yes, we are doing the right thing. Yeah, I went to the dentist today here in Texas because that's the only time I'm like forced to take care of myself. My dad's like, I made you a dentist appointment. Great. So she was telling me off because I never go and I need a crown and I don't want to get it. And I'm like, I'm, you know, I'm like, she said, What do you do? And I said, Well, I do a podcast and I run a website that makes fun of TV shows. And like, tonight, I'm going to be making this big brother one where I do all the voices and stuff and then we watch all the real housewives shows and she said well that's actually kind of a little dream life isn't it and i was like you know what lady what a lovely way to look at it

so i'm living off chucky cheese and you know water yeah still it is a fun life so everybody thank you thank you thank you thank you for helping me disappoint my mother so fully because I actually get off on it. So thank you all. It goes a long way. We really, really do appreciate that. So enough of us. Enough of our crap. Like that was 20 minutes of us blying about blahness.

We're so awful sometimes. Good gosh. You know, at least we'll never be awful as the Gazon Brabs. That wasn't even a segue. Let's talk about The Real Housewives of Melbourne first. I have a feeling that a lot of people aren't watching that, you know, because it's on Saturday morning. So why would you be watching it? But, you know, it's fabulous and you should watch it.

Yeah, you know, I have to say, when the season began, you know, I enjoyed it because I liked hearing all the accents and the women all look like drag queens but i wasn't actually wrapped up in the drama i was just sort of like i actually thought the episodes were a little dull but let me tell you something i am fully invested now i am in the middle of this gina versus the girls feud and i i have taken aside team gina all the way well. I mean it's kind of an obvious side to take because she really hasn't done anything except be like fabulous and call people cunts, which I mean we can get behind. Yeah, and what was actually nice this week was that we saw Gina going on a date. So we saw sort of like a softer side of Gina, which is not unlike the softer side of Sears. And what I really liked is that she met with this woman. It may be a little bit scratchy on your skin,

but, you know, on a cold night, it's still real comfortable to cuddle with. You know, it's like going from steel wool to regular wool. You know, it's still going to itch, but at least this time it won't actually, like, bleed. Yeah. But I thought it was funny how she went to a matchmaker and she like had these random requests she's like i don't want a guy with a saliva problem no saliva problem

at all it'll be hard to eat a eat a cross from a guy with a saliva problem i don't think i can look at a saliva problem too much saliva too much saliva on the plate when she also said uh he can't have his thumb sticking out because i really don't like that you know i mean people with their thumbs sticking out are a bit slow i'm like is that slang is that slang for like someone who's like autistic or something well i felt so bad for the lady across from her because because of the accent i thought gina said gums and you know because the accent, I thought Gina said gums. Some people don't like giant gums, but I was like, Gina, hello,

look at who you're talking to. She's talking to a gummy lady. It would have been funny if they cut to the matchmaker and she had her thumb sticking out and was drooling and her gums were showing. She's like, alright, I think I can find someone like that. These Sheilas certainly have a lot of... Oh, never mind.

My accent just got crazy. My accent suddenly went southern. That's my problem. With yours, I think yours goes sometimes British and mine sometimes goes southern. Mine sometimes goes British and then it goes to Mexican and then it goes back into Texan

and then it goes back into Real Housewives of Melbourne. But you know what? It's getting better by the day because I talk like this a lot. And here in Texas, I'm talking like this to people and they just look at me like I'm crazy and just pretend it's not happening. Just tell them you're from Melbourne. Just say, hi, I'm Ronnie from Melbourne. Well, it's my own family, so I can't really do that. They just look at me like, why are you doing that? And then they learn not to ask because then I tell them the story of, oh, I'm watching this show called The Real Housewives of Melbourne and everyone's mean to Jane and she went on a date with a guy

and then someone wrote an open letter about her online. It's all very scandalous. They're like, that's great, Ronnie. So college still sound like a good idea? Are we still afraid of college? I'm going to go hang out with my friend Chica right now. Hang out with Chica. I'm going to hang out with my friend Chica.

She's got a neck like a sleeping bag, and it always makes me feel real confident in public. Her hairstyle looks like a cockatiel. Someone's trying to keep the Caroline Mantle look look alive so i'm trying to show her my support i really like when she has parties the legionnaire i love when she has parties named out of diseases you're getting Hugh Hefner's hot tub i love when she takes me to advanced openings to west elm yeah so they have like a special opening this weekend of west elm which has come to australia from the states and they're so excited they're like look at all these look at placemats look plastic placemats wow classy we'll take 20 well have you guys not

had target yet because you'd be pooping on the floor. Yeah. Well, this way they can go to West Elm for a bit of a shop, you know? A bit of a shop. Oh, so funny. It's like their fancy store. Chica was up to a lot of shenanigans this week because she kept on trying to force Gina and Andrea together. I think she did, like, at least two times, maybe even three,

where she surprised the two of them in a social environment. First was, like, the shop at West Elm. Then there was, like, at least two times, maybe even three, where she surprised the two of them in a social environment. First was, like, the shop at West Elm. Then there was, like, the doggy party. You know, I'm surprised that she hasn't, like, arranged, like, a sauna date. And then the three of them are sitting there. Yeah, there was a doggy party, and they all got to try on clothes. And who was the one without a dog? Oh, yeah, the psychic.

Shine, shine, shine. Shine, shine, shine. She's like, oh, this planet too rock. Everyone has a dog party. Where I come from, they don't have dog parties. Well, we have big dogs, you know, but we don't have dog parties. I'm from Newcastle. Well, I actually have to say, normally I hate, like, the little dog shit that comes on Bravo.

Like, I'm married to Medicine when Quad had her doggy design. Like, every time that they... How dare you? That is my life that is my heart man are we in the hood are we in pups in paris but like so normally i find it really like annoying but i have to say this was the first time that they had some sort of like little doggy thing where i was laughing out loud because those costumes were hilarious what's the name of lydia's dog again dog it's like al Alfredo or like Federico.

I don't know. The big news here was her maid. But go ahead. We'll stick with her dog for a sec. Well, just for a sec. And then we'll go to Joanna. But no, her dog was like this. They put the dog in some weird like Renaissance costume.

And I was like laughing out loud. And there's one dressed like a butterfly. And one dog was dressed like Batman. I think it was Gina's dog was dressed like Batman. I have to say, I'm not a a dog person i am not into little dog stuff on bravo but that was cracking me up that was one of the highlights of the show for me yeah that was super cute i'm looking here um to see what else went i didn't write anything down for pooch patty no not that's all that happened at the pooch party except that andrea andrea tried

to avoid gina she's like i don't i don't care if she's i don't care if i ever have to talk to her well she should be afraid because she can't actually have a normal conversation with her where she doesn't get owned well by the way andrea also launched a few more of her classically terrible jokes but i think at the pooch bar she says my dog's a spoiled little bitch well she is a is a female dog. I'm like, yes, Andrea, we get the joke. You know what I call my dog? I call her a bitch. Because she's a female dog.

But she didn't even call her a bitch. Did she? No, she called her a spoiled little bitch. Oh. You know what I call my dog? An animal with four legs. You know what my dog does? It breathes a lot.

You know what my dog loves to eat? Dog food. She's a dog. You know, Gina just likes my dog because my dog likes to breathe and so does Gina. Gina's like a human version of my dog. She walks and so does my dog. They both like to walk a lot and go to the bathroom.

Sometimes my dog's like Gina because she just goes around the block a lot. Gina's sort of like my dog. They're both women. Well, she is a dog. She is the dumbest fucking human being. I love how she's just trying to be so bitchy but she

can't even find a way to do it like in west elm the girls are talking to gina and gina's like girls gather round i want to have a cancer party because i i got over cancer 10 years ago and i want to have a party where we all eat red dye and uh drink diet cokes and just you know say fuck you to fate. And the girls are like, oh, we'd love to. And then Andrea sees them talking. So she gets all mad. So she gathers the girls.

She's like, gather round, girls. I want to do a day where I take you to this bar and I do lots of facials together. And they're like, oh, that sounds lovely. And I'm like, OK, so Gina is asking them to a cancer party, and you're going to have to pay for a spa day. I think Gina won this round, you dumb bitch. Yeah, Gina certainly did. And by the way, fucking Lydia, right? Because Gina says this thing, and Lydia's like,

well, are you going to invite Andrea? And Gina's like, well, no, I don't think so. And then Lydia's like, we have to get going. You can invite the woman who's standing on the opposite side of the store from you and giving you dirty looks not speaking to you and turning around every time you come near her she's like no i don't think so she's like you need to get over it you need to get over it but meanwhile lydia does not say that to does not say that to andrea and by the way who is the first person to not invite you to someplace it was

andrea when she had the like the red carpet opening to whatever that plastic surgery places that her husband has you know so that was what i thought was hilarious when it came out later when when andrea found out that gina was having some sort of like girls night in party and then was mad about it um and she's like well i well that's it i'm not inviting to gina to anything else but i'm like no you already did not invite her you already disinvited her from a function. You don't get to act like you were the victim here. Oh, yeah. She's like, well, that's the last straw.

That's the last straw. That's the last straw, you idiot. Okay, what was her first straw? She was late. She was late somewhere. Well, first she was late. And then in the bathroom, she said someone was writing a book about a vagina.

And then she said the same word. And now she's not inviting me to a cancer party who wants to be bitched at at their cancer party exactly that's exactly and you know gina had a perfectly good response which is to say you know she's someone that i was like that i was open with when i talked to her about my cancer and i cried uh with her and now she's come and been aggressive towards me and sort of like, I don't feel comfortable with her. She basically was saying this is a personal thing for me and why would she invite Andrea? Yeah. Here's

Andrea's speech at the cancer party. Hello everyone. I'd like to thank the hostess for having such crappy wine that I'm drinking my own that I brought in my purse. And I'd like to say, you know, Gina had a battle with cancer and Gina won. So next time let's root harder for cancer. Thanks for having me.

Do you have any better food? Because this food sucks. You know what I call this cancer potty? I call it a potty for cancer because all I want to do is potty and think about cancer. You know, I'm calling this a potty for cancer because it's the to do is party and think about cancer you know i'm calling this a party for cancer because it's the only person who wasn't invited that i really wanted back you know what you know what i like to do i like to dress up in my doily dress and go to cancer parties and when i'm not invited i get mad you know who else gets mad mad people you know what

causes cancer madness and if i get cancer because I got mad, Gina's going to pay. You know who's going to need some chemotherapy? Gina, because your cancer's going to come back. She's such a bitch. So I would like to discuss before we move on, because I brought it up last week, but we didn't talk about it. Alright. And that was this letter.

This open letter to Gina. Oh, yeah. It's called, it's real long, so tell me when you want me to stop reading, but it's called Letter to Gina with Love. And it's obviously written, it's not signed, of course, but this came out in, let's see. It's not signed?

No. It's an anonymous letter that blew up the internet in Melbourne. That's so ridiculous. It blew up the Melbourne roadrunner system. All right. Dear Janer, this open letter has been a work in progress for some time. Draft after draft, tossed out after each new revelation comes to light. I'm going gonna tell you up front that this letter is not an attack nor is it meant to be anything short of dot dot dot

what do you say stop right now stop right now how do you write an open letter and then say it's not an attack i mean totally um go on you make everyone believe. I hope you can, too. I don't know what that sentence even means. And you're going to see how this is written by Andrea with how stupid this letter is. Because it makes as many points as Andrea can in real life. I've had the privilege of being intimately involved in the life you work very hard to portray. The glitz. The glam.

The fucking hair and makeup alone deserve their own applause. The shoes. The dresses, the height on that hair, the smell of that signature cheap perfume. That'll be important later, so let's move on. In the atmosphere that is so Gina. Let's start with the barrister status. You're a public defender. Don't deny it. You'll never be the other Gina who you've shared a press article with. She discusses winning cases. You discuss closed-toed shoes bravo told you bravo to you for that little stunt you have a law degree but i've spoken at length to various individuals all who volunteered to identify

themselves if necessary and you're still just a public defender who represents many of the sample people who fight for you online i'll pay you bail if you can use Twitter. Shocker. Still, not an attack. Yeah, still, just being nice. Just saying hi. This is like a personal email message. Yeah, and by the way,

and like, oh, how dare she be someone who is a public defender who helps people who can't afford a lawyer? How dare she? Yeah, how dare she not just work for money? How dare she actually try and do something useful with her brains what a cunt oh we can't say that um and i love that the other criticism was so stupid it's like oh and you just get twitter followers by representing people like a public defender can be like all all right, listen here, murderers. I'm going to get you all off if you follow me on Twitter.

Care to shed any light on that? Are your cases so high profile that even the media cannot begin reporting? Doubtful, princess princess doubtful indeed though on good authority from an invaluable source you definitely have represented that real estate mogul slash lover of yours let's move on to that you left him open for speculation almost instantly we'll call him dave he has a business too so i'll be fair well dave has a past i'm sure you know after all you were there for much of it. Not an attack. Again, not an attack.

Yeah, now I'm going to not attack the people you're close to. Dave also runs a new powerful empire. Did he bankroll your spot on the show? Well, the day you magically flew off to Florida, that's Florida for anyone who can't get over Gina's dialect. And if you're Gina fan, then I will clarify. Florida is in the United States. I know it's difficult to catch on. Okay, now you're not attacking Gina's fans. They have nothing to do with the show for ratings fail silly after all a powerful man like dave would definitely be

fucking anything that moves in miami we could ask about we could ask around but why get sidetracked what see she's not even saying anything she's like oh you have a boyfriend named dave wow i hate that this like open letter is anonymous. Like how like how shitty to write all this stuff and then you don't even have the balls to sign your own name. Yeah. And it's not like none of it. Still, we have not found an accusation except she works as a public defender. Yeah.

The other stuff is like your boyfriend's a whore. Well, we already kind of all knew that. And that's why she broke up with him. So there's that and then she and then they're like well you didn't go to florida to make up what you to to dump him you you went to florida because you already had a plan to go to florida like you should got her it's like a page so far it's like you've got nothing in you dumb hoe like you and here's another thing you said you had a salad last night, but I know for a fact you had a salad and a roll. I know that for a fact.

Am I going to have to hack into your MyFitnessPal account? Am I going to have to do that and show everybody the handful of raisins you had before lunch? Because I'll do it, Gina! You're a liar, Gina. This proves you're a liar. A raisin liar.

You're a rais gina you're a liar you're a liar a raisin liar you're a raisin liar gina gina i know you always say you eat carance because you think that makes it sound so fancy but i know you're just eating raisins to anybody who thinks carance is a real word you're a gina fan like what's that like she didn't pronounce florida right you've heard all your dialects right go on this is like this letter's amazing this is good right yeah uh-huh so you trashed a cast mate for how many episodes about the truth and dove cheating nice work you scored fans and ratings with a few clever lies did you feel good about that shitting properly on the new girl to the group your true colors google linkedin gina l ceo were evident to anyone with a brain onto brains you are a brilliant legal mind you're roped in by the way by the way great segue i know another thing that

had no that made no sense so you trashed a cask me like that like that poor wilting wallflower uh who's married to a rock star that poor innocent girl and she didn't it wasn't she wasn't really trashing um what's her face showing showing showing she basically was you know she was like annoyed that that she would say those things and then they squash the beef and everything is fine and they seem to actually get along more or less yeah and she's like how dare you um let's see onto brains you are a brilliant legal mind i would have loved this like onto brains here's another thing you might not know about gina she's a zombie she likes to eat brains it's a brain yeah fuck you have a brain when actually you eat brains gina gina's a brain eater here's what i gotta here's what i have to say about Gina's brain. It's in her head.

Let me see here. You roped in Foxtel and everyone involved into a neat little contract where you get to behave badly, feed your ego, literally ruin lives, and then tell producers, wait, wait. Literally ruin lives? She's literally ruin lives, and then tell producers Wait, wait. Literally ruin lives? She's literally ruined lives. Whose life has she ruined? Whoever had to clean those embroidered towels is still in a corner mumbling to themselves

and rocking back and forth with drool dripping down their face. No thumbs. So apparently, literally ruin ruin lives and then tell producers dot dot dot wait here it comes all caps dot dot dot i'm a barrister edit that out or it will ruin my career as a barrister and that's like written huge it's like a it's in like a different font size i got something so bad uh i was on the other end of the call first time i heard that neat little trick isn't that fun you took responsibility for hundreds of lives the day you forced your hand

with that contract cast members staff down to the person who runs to get coffee on set that's cute you just swooped in and made it your show care Care to deny it? Does any of that make any sense to you? It just sounds like whoever wrote this is a jealous bitch. You took responsibility for hundreds of lives. What? I thought you said lives. You said lives? Lives.

You took responsibility for hundreds of lives the day you forced your hand with that contract. What the fuck does that mean? Well. I feel likeina's been bombing isis like innocents have been getting killed what the hell are you talking about i'm like i'm like having images of like uh of andrea holding up a sign that says like hashtag bring our girls back or something you know so there's a couple more paragraphs that are nonsense but so the whole podcast isn't this i'll just get to like the good part because it's obviously andrea i'm thoroughly entered i'm like loving all of this okay well i can keep on if you want um okay so i'll just keep on just tell me when you don't like it anymore okay oh the show itself this little

franchise of horrors indeed so you you had some friends, it seemed. They all behaved badly. Thank you, Foxtail Arena, for the editing job that is so poor. If you freeze frame and replay minutes of dialogue at a time for multiple episodes, you can in fact get the real filming for most of the cast. Well, it doesn't make any sense. I'm telling you, this letter is great. This is obviously, Andrea, because anyone who is still on the show would never talk back against uh producers yeah exactly it's like if you and where are we gonna go i'm i'm uh i'm getting in a better position in bed yeah but um you know

what ronnie likes to do he likes to get comfortable let's see. Well, you didn't like anyone who wasn't interested in you. They aren't interesting either day in, day out, so no loss. What? What does that mean? It's hundreds of lives. Hundreds of interesting lives that are at risk.

You don't take any interest in them. You've took thousands of lives on this season. Don't you realize that since you're not interested in them, that therefore they're going to die? Way to to go gina the new girl was mean no she wasn't dave is powerful and has money sluts love that so blame dave not the angel lady who sees shit it's not what defines her dot dot dot what not an attack i'm really glad that this is not an attack i know me too. I would think that she's a real bitch. I know, I'm glad she's keeping it civil here,

because she's got a whole business that her husband's worked really hard to build, and she's not fucking it up at all. So good on you, Andrea. Yeah, yeah. Your ex-friend, the skincare queen. Well, she just loves her fucking self and is making a list right now. So you decided she was the best bet to shit on i know having a husband and father of her three babies wait where's yours is upsetting for

the mother of a few men's offspring children are off limits according to you so i'll move on what is she referring to herself now yes she's saying yes i'm trying to decipher what she's saying, yes, I'm trying to decipher what she's trying to say, but she's basically saying, ha-ha, I have a husband and three babies while your kids are, like, fathered by different men or something because you're a slut. I don't know. By the way, Amazon sells a little thing called a microcamera. You should have thought long and hard at who you spent time with when we got that little bit of footage. Bad Gina talking nonsense. What? I don't know what she's talking about still.

Maybe that's a future episode because it looks like shit is really hitting the fan starting this week and next week. Wow. Oh, there's the moron who married money. That's all right, Gina. She was your friend, but you were a little boring by episode three, so you should on her, too. That was fun. I think she actually called you family, but we knew that's a lie because you barely knew her. Oh, well, she's probably getting her car repainted and flying in her husband's plane. Stupid sex thing. I guess you hate that you lease your Benz and Dave sends you a Qantas ticket when the local U.S. halls get boring.

sends you a Qantas ticket when the local US halls get boring. Your oldest on all fronts friend, the Diamond Baron Cougar. Well, she loved you a lot, but she's a bit old and forgets, and she forgot to back you up after a long day of filming, so you've had it with her. Wahoo to her. She's free of you. Am I off basis yet?

You know the recorded phone calls are fun too. Those may not be legal, but people on set look at you for a reason, Gina. This is so vile. It's disgusting. And it just goes downhill. Who's left? Oh, yes, the syrupy, sweet catering queen. I like where you both bought, yes, bought followers for social media from the same damn company you achieved 10,000 status simultaneously. We've used the app.

Same damn company you achieved 10,000 status simultaneously. We've used the app. Gina, we know you need to look special and be a winner at GinaVille, so you helped out your only ally. Did you tell everyone that you have dirt on your friend the Queen of Cake? It hardly seems fair that her husband has to take the fall if she stops filming with you. Applause for Gina. Now they can go after Chica, who's the nicest person of all,

who's the only one trying to keep this thing civilized. Yeah, but that's why they're going after her because she she won't play their games and so now she's saying the only reason she's being nice to gina is because gina is blackmailing her and will bring down her catering empire because what i want in a caterer is someone who's morally sound i do not want any caterer who's possibly had an affair taking pictures anywhere, alright? My goodness, if I find out that Chica's husband is gay, I will never order canapes from her again. No kidding. I'm going to Whole Foods for my

wedding catering. Do you know why parents have friends who got their wedding catered at Whole Foods? Come on, guys. So, what I love is also this huge denial about the fact that people might actually like Gina and the fact that like people follow Gina on Twitter because they like her and not because she bought them. Well, and also because but also they follow her because she'll save them if they ever get a DUI or go to jail or something. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

wire go to jail or something. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. So, Foxtel, we can't say much to you, but we could ask Gina. Which employee on the Daily is threatened with legal action to get away? From the president of the group to the pool bastard who cleans up her fake tanner. It's always someone else's fault, isn't it? I'm crying. Hope my mascara stays. Regarding these recorded calls and videos, did you know one of your castmates is so paranoid that she has a pinhole camera at the reunion? I hope you're starting to feel a bit ugly inside. You have a special way of deepening your voice when you're being crude.

It must really be effective in court. Is it, Gina? Case closed. I wish Andrea were a lawyer. I love that that's like her. That was her moment right there. And I love that someone's wearing a camera and that makes Gina an asshole. Like, yeah, that's Jill Zarin work right there.

And like, you know, it's like you're copying Jill Zarin. That makes you the biggest fucking asshole in Housewives history. OK, so we'll just have to keep an eye out for who's wearing giant Tyra Banks fat suit glasses at the reunion. And by the way, does this person who showed up at the reunion realize that it's actually already televised? So there's no need for a pinhole camera? Well, she's saying to protect it from the editing in case Gina tries

to sue him. Yeah, I'm sure that will be really legal if she puts up her own footage. I'm sure that there won't be any ramifications for that. I'm sure it's just going to be monstrous anyway. Gina's going to be eating off baby heads and like, you know, making Holocaust jokes and shit.

By the way, I also, I just went to Gina's Twitter, which by the way, I almost feel like we should all follow her because based on this ridiculous thing, it's Gina, G I N a underscore,

whatever that is. That's what it's called. Underscore the little flat line. Liano, L I A N O. And so here's the thing that's funny. underscore whatever that is that what it's called underscore the little flat line uh liano l-i-a-n-o um and so here's the thing that's funny she has 17,941 followers okay so now uh that's more than i have that's about that's like probably like 11,000 more than i have as far as celebrities go not huge okay it's actually pretty small so the fact that these women are carping about her twitter

followers is hilarious. Because if you're going to buy Twitter followers, you're not going to buy like, you know, $5,000. Well, she's on public defense. And a salary bin. Yeah. I forgot. Dave didn't bankroll the Twitter followers. Oh, Amber from Big Brother posted something. Cindy C posted this on that Bravoholics group. Hilarious. It's a screenshot of Amber sending a tweet that says,

Oh, Frankie, I know you want to get up to a million followers, but you shouldn't have to buy them. And then it's a screenshot of his followers, and they're all like foreign letters. Oh, snap. It's all that bonus episode. Yeah, it's so funny. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real.

I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries'

Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or be eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost cost academy takes you into the world of

a cutthroat private school where power money and sex collide in a game of life and death follow academy on the wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts you can binge all episodes of academy early and ad free right now by joining wondery plus all right so what okay well so back to the All right, so back to the show. Why don't we go back to the show? Yeah, so that's basically it. She basically said, the next thing she goes on is that

Gina smokes cigarettes and then talks about having cancer and then sprays herself with all this perfume and it's disgusting. And then she says, Gina, will you please just accept that your ego and eyeline have corrupted your brain and then um not an attack yeah that's pretty much love always your biggest fan and it says p.s

i still love you i just really wanted to see you not this nonsense on air what a shame you're just not that special without your sideshow which i don't know what any of this means but if this is the worst you've got you have nothing people yeah and you know the any of this means, but if this is the worst you've got, you have nothing, people. Yeah, and you know, the thing is this. Gina will not respond because she's too classy. Oddly enough, the woman with the crazy makeup is too classy. But you know that if she wanted

to respond, as she is a barrister, she would probably eviscerate this woman. And she wouldn't even go into allegations of gossip or whatever. She would just do a point by point um a list of why andrea has become so violent so terrible here's here's my my take on it all um does gina owe them an apology for being very late does she owe them apology for calling one of them a cunt and does she owe an apology for wearing heels on the tennis court.

You know, probably, you know, and you know what? Guess what she did at that dinner party on the beach? She said – you look at the footage. She actually said – she's like, I didn't realize that it upset you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But they just kept on going at her. All of this, this like don't want to be in the same room with her, they're acting as if she chopped someone's head off. It's like so above and beyond.

We're not saying that Gina is faultless. She did some things that were wrong. And she should – seeing how it really bothered the women, she should apologize. But when they act so viciously and the fact that they can't even broach the topic in a friendly way and say, you know what, it really upset me when you did this. And the fact that she can't, you know, the fact that they are so aggressive, of course she's not going to want to apologize because she's like, fuck these bitches, I don't want to tell them anything. Well, and also they're coming at her in a way that it's not like,

you know, Gina, it really upset me that you're wearing shoes on my tennis school. It's not that. It's like, you will these shoes, you're disrespecting my forty thousand dollar you know it's like they try and make it like it's this huge yeah dang and they obviously just want to take her down and she's not going to give them the leverage she's just staying strong and being like fuck you i mean if you're in the middle of a bunch of women trying to take you down that's vicious you got to stay strong man you got to be like a roly-poly roll yourself up in a little ball and just get ready to get pinged around right and then on top of that um you know they're also just looking for excuses to attack her i mean

every scene that involves andrea lydia they are going out of their way to be like oh is gina coming you know they they want they start the conversation they they get the ball rolling so they can bash her like anew um which is pretty vile. And it's something that people do, unfortunately, and we're seeing it happening. But actually, though, Gina did – in the middle of all this, Gina did call Lydia and told Lydia that Janet said that Lydia was brainless. Now, probably – Gina probably – if she were a nice person, she probably wouldn't have relayed that information. But as Janet herself even said,

it was kind of Gina's way of getting revenge. And the thing is this, Janet even admitted that. In her interview, she's like, well, you know, I did say that, I did tell all the women what Gina had said. So this was her way of getting back at me. So she seemed to almost accept it. You know, I did say that I did tell all the women that what Gina had said. So this was her way of getting back at me. So she seemed almost to accept it.

And then she said something like karma's a bitch, you know? Yeah. But, you know, the thing is, the women riled her all up again. And because Lydia confronted Janet and Janet's like, oh, I did. I threw you under the bus. But I threw you under the bus to make Gina feel better. And it's like, oh, here we go again. And so then she meets with Gina at the end of the episode. And basically Janet is like, you owe all the women an apology, Gina.

You owe all the women an apology. And Gina's like, for what? And then basically it turned into a fight. And the best part is that Janet denied, by the way, that she called Lydia brainless. And then we saw the clip of her calling her brainless, which is my favorite reality show thing. But I love that she doesn't even really deny it. She just says, I didn't call you brainless, darling. I said that you weren't that smart.

I just said that you weren't brainless. I just said that you weren't very bright. That's better. And Lydia's like, oh, alright. Well, you know, still. Well, no, I adore you anyway. But you came clean. You came clean. That's what's

important. I know. It's so ridiculous. So then they have this fight, and then, so my DVR always ends before the show's over, and so the last thing i saw was gina saying well that's it friendship's over well because she was uh janet was saying oh you know that's why they were telling you off in the when we were on our trip and she said so you think that was right that they told me off like that and she's like i did i thought it was justified. So that's it then? That's the end of the friendship? That's it?

We're done? She's like, well, what do I care? Yeah, that's where I got you. You're going to care, bitch. So that was pretty much it. But the best part of this entire episode, and we didn't even talk about Lydia's maid, but we should probably move on. Yeah, let's talk about it. Joanna.

But the best part, other than that, the best part was the, the clips for the next episode. Cause shit goes down. See, I didn't get to see that. And someone tells us, I have to make this a ringer. Someone tells Gina, um,

have you learned anything? And she goes, yeah, I've learned that women can be a bunch of assholes. Best line ever. Make that a ringtone because, uh, we,

uh, this is another plug for our Patreon page. If you pledge $5 per episode, once a month, you you get a new ringtone so maybe that'll be our first one yeah um i don't know if we can legally take theirs i think it might have to be us doing it that's fine which might be even funnier yeah if your ring is like i've learned that women can be a bunch of assholes i've learned that women could be a bunch of assholes yeah exactly now by the way we can't talk about joanna because what i thought was funny was that Lydia was watching Joanna, this lovely maid slash housekeeper slash confidant. And this woman is just like chopping a cucumber.

Like all she's doing is chopping a cucumber. And Lydia's like, oh, how did you do that? How did you learn how to do that? How did you do that? It's like, bitch. Well, I think what she was saying is she wasn't chopping it she was peeling it and she was peeling it with a knife i know but then she started to chop it too oh because i was like who peels like that and she's like i taught myself

um it's funny because lydia's like oh you know joanna's just the most lovely person i met her actually outside of my house she was outside of my house in the front there and then i just brought her inside and she's been with me ever since you know joanna do you know where my dress is joanna's like no i don't know where your dress is oh this oh this closet is so messy this closet need to organize and she's like, Joanna, you do that, darling. You do that for me. I love how Lydia is so self-serving, also with her compliments of Joanna. She's like,

you know, one day, Joanna showed up and she had a huge tree in her hands. And I said, Joanna, what's this? She said, well, with the money that I've been able to earn working here, I was able to buy my family an acre of farmland so now they grow things. and this is for you. And she had tears running down her eyes

for all the generosity that I've had for her. And she was so appreciative of everything I've done for her. She's so grateful. She's a saver. She's a saver. Oh yeah, she's disgusting, my woman, but hilarious. She's like, I don't know. I can't remember the last time I had to clean

my house, but it's for someone else to do. And God bless Joanna's like dumb as a brick, but it's hilarious because Lydia can't be upstaged by an intelligent maid. You know, when you have to get someone who's like even slightly dumber than Lydia, you're going to be in trouble. I would be surprised if anything got done in that house. I mean, you know this woman dug up a tree and just like brought it in. I think she is. I think she's pretty dope i was getting that from from the thing but then again i

thought she was trying to peel with a knife which is why i'm saying that there's nothing wrong with peeling with a knife well she wasn't peeling though ben did you see her did you see a technique ben you want to fight about peeling all right i know how to peel ben all right i'm gonna write an open letter to joanna i'll be like, guess what? That knife that you got, I heard it was bankrolled by Dave. Let's just call him Dave. That tree that you got, I heard that you just picked up that tree at a nursery. You didn't even have an acre of farmland.

You just put that money towards a new car. Funny. Oh, my God. Okay, well, that's Real Housewives of Melbourne. It's probably the least watched show on bravo right now we just took like an hour of our podcast for it but you guys totally worked into it so you know what i i am actually truly enjoying the show i think it's you know it was again slow start but um it's it's like you know what to go back there's a perfect segue to new

jersey because um when jersey when they had the fist fight a few weeks ago, I made this whole thing about how when these fights go from zero to 60 in a season, like if they meet each other and the next thing you know, they're pulling their hair. It doesn't feel real or it doesn't – there's no stakes. You don't know the people well enough. You don't care about the situation. You just think that these are crazy people right when when you let a situation percolate when you let it build and build and build and then it reaches a boiling point you are so invested and that's where i'm at with with melrose right now and where i'm not at with new jersey oh my god um yeah i agree um that show is just fucking ridiculous and next week it looks like shit's hitting the fan because

one of the twins is going to find out about this rumor. Because stupid Amber is like, got her results back. Her mysterious crazy clown cancer results back. I mean, what a retard. Well, it's just such a joke. And what doctor plays into that? You know, he's like, your test results came back. Now look, when I first looked at these results, they looked pretty crazy. And you gotta look closer, and I'm glad you came back.

Do we need to cut the commercial? Okay, wait for it. Wait for it. You might be dying. Wait for it. You're almost dead. You could be dying. Something's growing inside of you.

But it's not cancer. Congratulations. I'm done here i'm out he's like the results the results from your cancer tests are positively great for you they're negative you're a negative person but not necessarily of cancer i've got a positive reading from a psychic that says you don't have cancer. Maybe we'll find out next week. Bad news. You're going to die of laughter

when I tell you the results. I'm going to wear black to your funeral when you die of emphysema as an 80-year-old if you don't die of cancer right now when I open this envelope we have to operate immediately on someone in the hospital

who is not you I hope you don't mind getting chemotherapy again in the future if you ever get cancer again because they don't have it now I'm afraid you're going to be exposed to radiation if you decide to go on a trip to Chernobyl

which I really advise against but that's for your results so this was another episode of Amber going to the doctor with her giant 10 pounds of weave and her huge eyebrows and her 10 inches of orange tanner uh and her like ball gown dress to go to the doctor we're all taking this very seriously okay amber and she didn't go on the trip with the other

ladies so she could stay and find out about her almost cancer which she knew she didn't go on the trip with the other ladies so she could stay and find out about her almost cancer, which she knew she didn't have. Get a little more private camera time. She was ridiculous. It was really difficult to not fast forward through her scenes. But I didn't because I was like, what if there's a glimmer of something interesting here? Then I miss it. And there wasn't. No, you're so silly.

There's nothing interesting with her. But I want to say this, though, about this whole rumor situation. But I want to say this, though, about this whole rumor situation, because for those who have not been watching, the whole thing was that Victoria Gotti told Teresa and Amber that there was a that that Reno told Reno told Victoria Gotti that when he and Teresa or Teresa were separated, it's because Reno slept with with teresa and nicole's mother santa okay that's the rumor so i just want to say for the record amber has actually not told anyone the only one who's told people has been theresa who then went and told dina and then dina is like well but amber has this information in dina's defense at that last at that house thing, what's that party? I don't even know. I don't even know what they're doing on this show anymore. But last time they were gathered at someone's home, Amber was very loudly telling Teresa,

well, I just can't sit with this information. Someone has to tell her. And making a huge deal. So Dina knows that she's going to erupt. And she's like, how do I, A, get the screen time out of this? Because this is about to turn into the Amber and the Twins show. And I've done nothing except cry about my maid leaving. So I better do something more this season.

Well, the funny thing was that it was like building up. Like it was all going to come out in Florida. And you know what happened? All that happened was that dina spoke to to nicole about it and nicole oh no was it nicole was it teresa i don't remember she talked she talked i think it was nicole and nicole was like i don't want to know i don't want to know and then dina talks to then tells teressa and teressa's like i think i want to know and nicole's like i wouldn't want to know i'm gonna

go sleep and then they and the twins get into a fight and then the show ended i'm like wait nothing happened no one said anything just the twins got into a fight over nothing but we find out amber's come amber calls and she's like hi dina is amber and he's like oh hello what are you doing like oh well i'm calling because i just got my test results back dina's like you went back to school or no my cancer results i'm free i need to celebrate i'm coming to hang out with you girls dina's like well congratulations on not having cancer. I guess we'll see you tomorrow. Wow, Dina.

Let's try and hide our feelings here. Yeah, I know. Mask those feelings, babe. You know, the other big thing from the episode was that we had the return of Jacqueline. And it was so stupid. If this cast means any sign of how shitty they are this season, that's it. Jacqueline came back as Margaret Cho, first of all. What has she been doing alone in her house? She is just one chunky face and two little slits.

What is she doing? At this point, she's working on racism. Oddly enough, I actually like the way she looks. I sort of liked her sort of more Asian-y hair. It's because Big Brother's on and you're a Julie Chen fan. Come on, Ben! I'm not saying Asian people aren't good looking. I'm saying it's racist to try and look like them on purpose.

It's like blackface. It's like she's auditioning for the Franklin Lakes Community Theater version of The King and I. Which she thinks is about a mattress. You were so stupid. Could you imagine if you really thought that? So there was a lot of black water. Yeah, I mean, her kid is... And immediately she started talking about her kid, you know, which, I mean, I'm sorry, that sucks. But did you notice also, by the way, that all of Jacqueline's scenes, it was Jacqueline and Kathy. And that was it.

Right? Well, I think that Jacqueline... Yeah, Jacqueline and Kathy, who obviously don't still talk, because Kathy looked like, why do I have to hang out with this idiot? Yeah, well, clearly these were probably reshoots. They were like, okay, the season's... They probably shot them way later,

and then they're like, we're going to insert them into the season to make it look like it's part of what's currently going on. But they are not interacting with the rest of the cast whatsoever not yet and we're looking at kathy's home which is you know she's building a home and jacqueline's there and uh kathy's building a huge kitchen and jacqueline's like loving it and i'm thinking jacqueline needs a big kitchen because she needs to come out with her own cookbook on how to season your feelings

because lord knows she's eaten plenty of them yeah she um i actually kind of feel bad for kathy that they're building that huge house because they're gonna what last in that for two years before it gets foreclosed i mean she's not on she's not a cast member on the show anymore i know but richie and kath but she started doing this after they were fired i would guess because it doesn't look like it's that far along and yeah you know They've got actual money from their gas station or whatever. Gas stations make a lot of money. You're always going to need gas, y'all.

I know. I was thinking about that the other day. I was thinking that gas stations, that is a solid source of income. It's like Kleenex. I mean, yeah, sure, all they do is clean up boogers, but we just keep making them, so it's almost making a lot of money. Yeah. So basically, Jacqueline's back and doing nothing as she sent a text to theresa a very long text that was not unlike any of the texts that she sent other seasons because she always does

this she gets mad at theresa and then she feels bad and she sends a text being like for what it's worth i still love you and i still care for you and i want everything for the best for you blah blah blah i miss having you as a friend but I still think of you as a sister. Like, it's every season she sends that text. So this was like, the fact that she sent it this time is nothing. But the best is that Teresa responds. She goes, thanks, kisses.

She's like, Teresa just sent me a response with pink poodles, a baseball, and a Christmas tree. What does that mean? What does that even mean? It means that Melania was sitting on the phone yeah jacqueline is still up to her same old tricks and you know at this point now with the other girls who are calling theresa to get camera time it's kind of more evident what jackie was doing the whole time you know it's like i have nothing going on so let's talk about

your legal shit yeah exactly um and theresa is still ignoring her but the producers are about to shove them back together again which should be fun yeah well theresa spent this episode looking at new houses uh which i i thought was funny like she looked at a house had like a urinal in it um and she's like yeah that's all right it's good like this is where men stand up to pee and she's like well what's the sink for yeah oh it's an eight thousand uh eight thousand square foot home it's this gigantic gigantic home i mean that's huge yeah and she's walking around it with her nose in the air looking like she's going to barf. And granted, it wasn't the most tasteful home. And the real estate guy's like,

well, I know this house is shitty compared to what you're used to. The real estate guy was terrible. He kept on being like, well, I know this room is a lot smaller than what you want, or I know this isn't as pretty as you'd like, or I know the paint job isn't like what you would want. I'm like, dude, this is not how you sell a house.

And we're just supposed to feel bad for Teresa because she can't afford it anymore. Then Joe comes in in a suit. And he's like, what? Who cares? She's like, well, we was looking for a house, Joe's. And he's like, who cares? So what? So what?

Who cares? What was I going to say about this? So this is just a side note, personal note. I am in Texas. And so whenever I'm here, I have to watch this shit while my mom was playing canasta with my dad behind me. Okay. So I'm always, you know, we always talk about their commentary. And I really didn't write a bunch of it down this time because it was really, really mean.

But the best part was that right before this, I had watched Big Brother. And she had just been taught. My mom had just been going off against illegal immigration. She's like, at the very least, you could learn English. And then, so these shows were going on, and I could just hear her rolling her eyes behind me. And so I turned around and said, you see, mom, it's not just the illegals who don't learn English. Because the English on Big Brother and Real Housewives of New Jersey, Like, come on. Does anyone even go to school anymore? Is anyone required to read anything or speak? None of them can speak.

They don't know what anything means. No. None of them allowed. Love it. Yeah. Totally uneducated. Uneducated. Okay, let's see here.

Real Housewives of New Jersey. Mom bitching about no one learning English. These people are as bad as illegals. Trip. Treehouse shop, lol, at past clip of other people's bidet. Oh, yeah. She's disgusted about having to live in other people's

homes, but she's not disgusted by other people's bidets, which says a lot about that family. Well, no, now she's, you know, because Teresa's whole thing now, she's like, well, now I've learned that, you know, I care about things more. Like, I used to be superficial, but now I, you know, now I care about, I don't know, I'm not as superficial

on the material things. Like, bullshit. Yeah, really, you're not as superficial, which means you don't have any money in your account, bitch. And I love that she's like, well, we'll sell a house, Joe's like, we'll sell a house for 12 million, which I'm like, whatever number he said. I was like, no, you won't. But let's just pretend it was that.

And he's like, and then we'll buy the new one for one. And that's why you're calling it business. And she's like, yeah, yeah, I'm a businesswoman. First of all, businesswoman, if you're in bankruptcy and you're in court for fraud. Chances are you're going to owe somebody that money once you liquidize everything you have. Might not be the best time to liquidize. Yeah. Yeah. They're just idiot criminals and I can't wait for them to go to jail.

I hope they both do, which is so mean. I'm sorry, children. Sorry, Gia. Sorry, Melania. Honestly, let the girls go with Uncle Joe. Because, you know, Joe – honestly, I've always been a Joe Gorga fan. And the way he was playing around with his kids was really adorable. Yeah, the way he was throwing them at each other's heads.

Yeah. That was really cute. That was child abuse. He was throwing them and hitting them in each other's head by other flying children. Oh, they were punching him in the balls. It's fine. It was all good. And also, him and Melissa both look like

they're getting a meth habit or something. Their skin looks weird. Their eyes are never focused. There's something going on there. We're going to hear about that soon in the public, I'm sure. Okay. Maybe a coke habit.

I'll put my money on that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to say Crystal. Oh, wow. Okay, let's see. Well, Crystal's very popular in the gay party community, and Joe used to be a gay stripper, and Melissa used to be a straight stripper. So, meth really isn't that far off.

By the way, did we talk last week about Greg Bennett from the show? Well, we'll talk about it. Yeah, we talked about that. Oh, yeah, we did. You're right. Um, let's see. Um, Jack spent blowing all her money on autism. Oh, yeah.

That's like Jacqueline. That's like Jacqueline saying, yeah, well, we're going to have to downsize our house, too, because of autism. I'm like, really? So it's not because you're being accused of swindling people out of millions and millions of dollars to fly on private planes and buy homes that you can't afford, Jacqueline? Really? You're going to blame your autistic child? Listen, we know the real truth. The real truth is that somehow, someway, this is Ashley's fault.

Somehow that girl, she got into the bank account and spent it all on marshmallows. Oh, God. That's so so so stupid but it's gonna be great when we find out about the mother sleeping with the with the uh with the husband and god i hope it's true and i cannot wait for that shit to come out next week yeah yeah looks like it'll be a jim marchese special yay i'm excited he's the only weasel who's really entertaining and working hard to entertain us. Yeah, he is a real weasel. He did it.

Actually, where was this? Did I close the window? I'm real upset with myself for closing the window. Oh, Nicole Napolitano's teenage sons go after Amber and Jim Marchese on Twitter. Are you interested in that? We'll talk about that in the bonus episode. Oh, okay. I'll keep that window open.

That was cold. That's good. We're nearing our hour, aren't we? We're at our hour. Darn it. All right, so we need to still move on here. Let's go on to Below Deck. All right.

I wrote this back on the back of a Canasta scorecard. And on the front says,onnie winner thank you thank you everybody thank you don't fuck with me when it comes to canasta motherfuckers have you ever by the way have you ever played settlers of katan or katan no but i it's always the pop-up ad on whatever site i'm visiting it's like really yeah because i played it over the weekend for the first time and i loved it like i played the board game version i didn't play the online because i played it over the weekend for the first time and i loved it like i played the board game version i didn't play the online version i played the board game version and if you told me i could now spend like if someone said hey ben why don't you come over and we'll

play set as a katana for the next six hours i'll be like i am in i am maybe i'm not thinking of that that doesn't sound like a pop-up ad kind of game. No, it's sort of like a Dungeons & Dragons-y thing. It's so fun. Oh. Wow. I can't get behind that. But you know what? You also like football, and I have to say, sometimes we should celebrate our differences.

That's right. I do. See, listen, I'm a man of many facets. I enjoy The Real Housewives. I enjoy Settlers of Catan. I enjoy football. I think that that's great. Yeah, it is great. I just never want to live withan. I enjoy football. I think that that's great. Yeah, it is great.

I just never want to live with you. That's fine. You don't have to. I smell peanut butter. Mom? Isn't that weird that I think of my mom? Well, I think she's home, but would she be cooking peanut butter? That's weird, right?

Making a home brew of peanut butter. You should see these giant gold pillows with feathers all over them. It's hilarious. Okay, I'll post them today on the website because this shit's hilarious in this house yeah okay so um we'll read that later okay so we are on below dick so oh that's not that's not in melbourne so adrian comes back yeah this one she's back and and worse than ever so what was her deal because i watched the first episode for the first couple episodes last season and then I was like, maids. But she just seems like a little A-type to me.

But everybody hates her guts, huh? Yeah. What happened there? I didn't watch all of last season, but I probably watched probably like four or five episodes. And I didn't mind Adrienne. She was cold and she was she was bossy but i feel like that's you know that's it she was the boss that she was getting the shit done but apparently people really really really hated her yeah and i didn't realize that

until uh she arrived and then everyone had a bad reaction and to be fair she was kind of like i don't know i i thought it was a little rude of her to, like, spread that rumor about why Kat and the other girl hate each other. Amy, is that her name? Amy? Yeah. Well, it's not a rumor. It sounds like it's actually what happened. And, you know, you've got to credit Kat because Kat's, like, a really good alcoholic slut.

She's a classic. Like, she's not somebody who, like like sobers up and blames the guy or, you know, does any of that stupid sorority girl stuff. She actually wakes up and she's like, maybe I did blow him. Maybe it was a threesome. Maybe I fucked the entire boat. I don't know. I was blackout drunk. Yeah, she did not deny, which I thought was cool. But then she was, but she got mad because I think she got mad first that Adrian was even saying these things in front of clients, which is really bad. But I guess since Adrian is not on a boat, she's allowed to. But then this somehow became – she got mad at Amy about this.

And I have to say I don't think that she should have gotten mad at Amy. I think actually the story makes sense. I don't think that like Amy is like mad that Kat is like stole away the love of her life or something and still has sour grapes. I think the situation is, as Amy described it, that she did this, and it was shady, and it made me realize she's just a shady bitch, and I'm just going to keep her at arm's length, basically. Well, Kat's just embarrassed because she's sitting there with the guests. Yeah. embarrassed because she's sitting there with the guests yeah and she basically this girl amy without knowing that she was doing it by telling the entire world what a slut cat was she gave her greatest enemy uh you know ammunition which yeah i understand but you know if if you can't

if you if you can't sound the sperm crust on your t-shirt, get out of the blowjob factory. Like, I mean, get out of the blowjob kitchen. What do you say? You know, you blew him. You know, I know it's not nice to be slut shamed, but the more sluts that stand up for their rights, less slut shaming there's going to be. Exactly. Soon it will no longer be embarrassing to have semen covered seahorse pillows. Yeah, exactly.

It's just part of the game. You know, maids fuck too. Yeah. No, I think that probably what part of the game. You know, maids fuck too. Yeah. No, I think that probably what happened was, yeah, Kat was probably embarrassed. It was in front of the clients. It was from her mortal enemy. And even though she didn't deny it,

she didn't really totally, she was so sort of blindsided that it was easier for her to take it all out on Amy than to actually be like, yeah, that was shady of me i should not have done that oh well well she doesn't like amy anyway and she never really understood why amy stopped talking to her right because i remember at the beginning of the season she's like well amy we used to be friends and then all of a sudden she's not talking to me so and then she tried hinting around at why they're not friends and amy wouldn't say anything

so then to find out later that it's because she blew some dude when she was blackout drunk. So that's how it seems at first, right? So I'm thinking, okay, well, I'm kind of on Kat's side because if this girl had just told her, you hurt my feelings, blah, blah, blah, none of this would have happened. But then we see the scene from next week where Amy is flirting with the new guy and Kat's immediately in the hot tub trying to get some ass. And I was like, oh, I see. So she's an aggressive slut. And that's not cool. Yeah, no, exactly.

No, I felt bad for Amy. Although she also took things out of proportion. I mean, she overheard Kat venting to Kate. And Kate, you know, was like laughing because it's all silly. And then Amy tries to come in and like just, you know, clear the air. And then Kat's like, no, you're not allowed in. Like I give her more of a British accent than she has. But she closes the door and then it became a whole thing.

But, you know, by the way, Amy is not like some angel because the beginning of the episode, she confronted Janice about the fact that Janice broke her brother's heart and was like, I just want you to know that... Oh, that was cool. I didn't like that. No, it was real bitchy. She's like, I just want you to know that that guy is a good man. And you may not regret it now or a day or a week or a month from now, but there'll come a point where you're going to regret not going

to him because you will... I hope you meet someone as good as him. Well, that was the most awkward thing anyway, because the poor girl's just trying to stock the fridge. And she's like, hey, what's her name? Yeah, she's like, how you doing, J-Dog? She's like, good. She's like, is there anything you want to talk about?

She's like, no. Does this mean we have to talk about your brother? And she's like, well, I just want you to know that I hope that one day down the line in your life, you're lucky enough again to have a decent man like my brother because he is amazing. And good luck to you. And I hope you don't mind your decision. I hope you don't regret that decision because he's too good for you. I was like, Jesus, bitch, back off. I know.

That is why Southern women are scary. They are the nicest. They're like, to your face, they're like, oh, my God, praise Jesus. You're beautiful. And then the next minute, they're like, how does your back feel? I'm about to stick something in it. You feel okay. And you're bleeding from your eyes.

And you're like, what just happened? Yeah, I mean, it's true. I mean, I don't disagree with anything Amy said. I think she was actually right on the money. Janice will regret it, because this guy was hot and nice and would fight for her. But it was really cold to say it to her face. Well, you don't say that.

You just say, hey, I hope it doesn't make things uncomfortable with us, because you had weird things with my brother. He's such a nice guy. I wish you'd give him a chance. But I understand you have a boyfriend and we're not in a world... You know, what kind of woman is like,

just cheat on your boyfriend anyway. Who cares? Like, come on, women. Let's try and like stick up for each other a little here. Stop just throwing each other under the bus. I think the boyfriend deserves some respect. Well, it all... It may work out for the boyfriend after all

because Janice got dumped over FaceTime sitting under a palm tree yeah pretty much that was awkward yeah he's like uh so she's like you're so cute you're so cute i just want to kiss you he's like yeah so uh i don't think this is gonna work out she's like so you come visit me he's like uh i don't think so i think i'm gonna go to like fort lauderdale instead she's like well wouldn't if you going to come visit me? He's like, I don't think so. I think I'm going to go to Fort Lauderdale instead. She's like, well, if you're going to come anywhere, why don't you want to come see me? He's like, I don't want to do that. Yeah, it's like it doesn't seem like you're into it either.

She's like, yeah, but if you came to the States and didn't come where I was, I mean, we'd be over, right? He's like, I mean, yeah. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. It's like he hangs up on her. He's like, I realize that you're just a very plain girl. I think it's not that I can do much better, but I think anything is perhaps slightly better. What else happened on this? So it was like crazy lesbians, Adrienne.

I felt kind of bad for adrian because everybody hates her i mean she was trying to be like hey chef what's up and he's like hello adrian like hello adrian she's like what's up how's it going how's the house and these people he's like everyone's fine thank you very much and was doing fine. And wouldn't even look at her and just cut off hanging his onions. Awkward! I know. But even I have to say, though, I did enjoy when everyone got wasted around the dinner table, except for Adrienne, and she was

trying to elevate the conversation by talking about the Miami Dolphins or whatever. And then I loved how Kate got all uppity. She's like, I don't know, I don't remember when yachting became such a low-class affair. I'm like, bitch, you're on a reality show. Just pour your champagne.

You're on Bravo. It's all a low-class affair. Yeah. Yeah. It was funny because once you've been in service, it's very hard to even hang out with idiots like that. And Kat was like, bye. Like, she didn't even wait for dinner because she was mortified

because she could see the rest of the staff being disgusted. And she was too embarrassed. Adrienne, yeah. And she was too embarrassed to stay. She was like, bye. See you later. She jumped on a boat before dinner was even served. And I was like, amen.

A, you're keeping your figure. And B, you're making yourself look slightly less stupid. And also, she probably cried on the way home, because no one was nice to her. I know. I kind of feel bad for Adrienne. Yeah. I do, too. Why is that? I guess because I'm a bitch, and she's a bitch, and I'm really pasty, and she's really pasty, and she can see her stomach muscles, and I guess it ends at pasty. It ends at pasty. Well, I mean, those guests, too, I mean, they were being bawdy.

I didn't think they were being that crazy. But it was they were sort of like the Andreas of Below Deck because they're like, you want some meat? Yeah, I'll take some meat in my mouth. Oh, he likes the meat. Yeah. You know, he likes to eat. He likes meat. I'm like, oh, my God.

And then he like bends over and starts twerking with a with a sword up his ass. Like, that's nice. I like this. The captain when he's like, I'd rather drag my dick through 10 miles of glass than to have those people on my boat again nice by the way did you notice that there's someone else on the crew uh who doesn't he's like not on the show there was when they all lined up at the end there was some guy there who i don't know if he's like he like we've just never seen him before he's just there i don't know if he's like maybe, maybe someone, like, I think last season, Captain Lee had,

there were, like, one or two people who were, like, actual boating professionals who were on board, too, that were not on the show. And I wonder if this other guy is like that, because I've never seen him before, and there he was. Well, yeah, there's never just one captain. I mean, there's got to be, I mean, there's never one person, what do you call, driving the boat or whatever. They're steering the ship.

There has to be more than him. He's got to sleep at some point yeah well i think they anchor down at those points but like i think they must be like an engineer or someone who works like someone who knows the technical aspects of like the engine down downstairs or something i don't know but there's a new guy coming next week and he's fine yeah he's really hot i'm like oh i really am enjoying the casting this season yeah me too nice ass this season holler okay so real quick if you're not watching the singles project which you're not and i understand because we made a pact that we didn't have to but it actually is pretty hilarious as you get to know them our readers or listeners are right saying that you get used to it as it goes on because it does get funnier as it goes and it's over next week so if you're bored and you need

something to watch watch this past episode and then watch next week because it's so funny like the gay guy first of all the gay guy goes on a double date with one of the straight guys and it's hilarious because he actually has a good date and the straight guy doesn't and both the gay guys are orange which i just love because it's like that's the gay guy thing now. It's like the gay guys have a different son than everybody else that turns their face orange but keeps their neck beige. And he's like obsessed with everybody's eyebrows. He's like, you have such nice brows. And then he goes on another date.

He's like, you have such lovely eyebrows. He's like, you have such nice brows. And then he goes on another date. He's like, you have such lovely eyebrows. And I'm just really so glad to have, like, a lovely Bravo orange little gang. Because he's very funny. The older Tabasum lady, they showed her under fluorescent lights. She went to her man's kitchen this week.

Like, his house. And his home kitchen. You guys, if you have a plastic face, plastic eyelashes that are 10 feet long a ton of makeup a weave if you're all fake looking and you're used to tv lighting don't walk into fluorescence no don't do it i mean she's a mistake yeah it was it was like walking through one of those x-ray machines at the airport but instead of showing her bones it just showed like the fug under there it was not cute make sure you are well lit wherever you are if you're gonna do shit to your face like that um and then she went this guy's trying to bone her and she's like i

just will only have sex with people who i'm in a monogamous relationship with and he wouldn't obviously commit to her after two dates or whatever. And he's like, I sense some desperation. You automatically want to have babies and children and I need to date for a while first. And she's like, you just called me desperate? This is over. And left him, which I loved. So it was really, really fun. I won't go on about

it forever because it's just going to be a monologue. But you should watch it next week for the finale. I'll try to watch it next week. For the finales. You're all ruffling around over there. I am. I'm sorry. I'm readjusting. It's weird doing the whole podcast

from bed. Are you still there? Yeah. Is it better? You sound muffled now. I do? Yeah, you sound all muffled. There, you sound better now. I do? Okay. Be sure. muffled. There, you sound better now. I do? Okay.

Are you sure? Yeah. Okay, sorry for the ruffling, everybody. It sounds like you're rooting around in a pile of leaves. Oh, well, I could be. I'm home. If I get in trouble, that shit will happen. Okay, so we're going to end this version now,

because we are done with our shows for the week, and we're going to move over to the after show. So for now, come find us on Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens to subscribe. And you'll get the bonus episode. And for those of you listening wondering where the hell your bonus episode is, go to Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens. Also come to our Facebook. It's a really fun active page, Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. You guys are hilarious. Today's thread was what you wanted to our Facebook. It's a really fun active page, facebook.com slash watch what crap ends. You guys are hilarious.

Today's thread was what you wanted to talk about, and we read it through the whole show and laughed our butts off. And I always do. If you want to tell me to fuck off, whatever you want to do, come on there. Find Ben in the normal social media places, Ronnie in the social media places, and that's it. We'll say goodbye now. We'll see you next week. Bye, everybody. Bye.

Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger.

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