Watch What Crappens - #149: Below Deck Euro Chefs of New Jersey

Episode Date: October 22, 2014

Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) talk crap about the new Euros of Hollywood, and the old Real Housewives of New Jersey. Plus, Below Deck docks and Top Chef is cookin?! See what I did there? Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. So maybe you've got a great idea for a business and want to start selling your products or services online maybe you're an established business owner looking for new customers or maybe you're interested in starting a new personal website no matter who you are go daddy wants to help you succeed online right now go daddy is offering a a.com domain for just $149, people.

$149, okay? Not $149. $1.49. Go to GoDaddy.com and enter promo code WWC149. That is WWC149 to get your $1.49.com. Some limitations apply. See website for details. Okay, thank you.49.com. Some limitations apply. See website for details. Okay.

Thank you. Bye, guys. Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey, everyone. Welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all the crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo.

I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm here with Ben from B-Side Blog, Ben Mandelker. Hi, Ben. Hey, Ronnie. Ben, it is so good to hear your voice. It is better to hear your voice. And let me tell you something. I just gulped down an entire grande iced coffee while we were recording our bonus episode. So I am wired and ready to go. Oh, no. I just took down an entire tub of green tea and I feel the same. I'm like a goat. I mean, a cow.

I mean, like a moose. I'm like a goat. It's really hard to get anything to work on me. I have to drink more. I mean, like a moose. I'm like a goat. It's really hard to get anything to work on me. I have to drink more. I have to eat more. I have to take more drugs. It's just not fair, man. You have to fight more crime. Totally. Solve more mysteries. Hang out with more

squirrels. Yeah. So you can find our social media links and etc. We have a new watchwhatcrappins.com page. It's basically just a place for you guys to go find us on our social media if you are so inclined. You can

also find our Patreon link there. It's patreon.com slash watchwhatcrappens. That's where you can become a premium subscriber and get bonuses like ringtones, Google Hangout that we do with you guys every month, and bonus episodes.

So just go check out all the different donation things there. That's patreon.com slash watchitcrappens. And by the way, I'm sorry to interject. I just want to clarify that Patreon is spelled P-A-T-R-E-O-N because someone messaged me and was like, I can't get to Patreon. They were spelling it incorrectly. So that's how you stop.

So if you need the link to go there, just go to watchwhatcrappens.com. Or there's also a link on our Facebook page, which is facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens. And that's where we go to read what you guys are posting to us all week. And this shit is hilarious. It gets better every week. It does. It really does. We just did an entire bonus episode based off of stuff that you guys have posted for us.

So thank you. It's like auto – Erotic fixation. Oh, no. Also, I just have to say – I don't know. I know you guys hate it when we just sit here and promote things. But we still have to. Again, I say it every week, and it does not change the sincerity of it.

Really very flattered and appreciative of everyone who has donated so far. We hit $500 this week, which is halfway to our first goal of hitting $1,000 per episode, which means, and again, when we hit $1,000 per episode, we'll have two full episodes of Watch What Crap Pins a week. That's not like a bonus episode situation. It's like two real episodes. The idea is to ultimately get up to do four full episodes. We would be doing this full time. It would actually be like a radio show

at that point. But that's down the line. But very flattered and very, very thankful. Yes, thank you guys so much. And to show how appreciative we are, we won't plug anything else. We'll just get on with the show yeah well actually i do have something to plug but it actually is appropriate to the

show it's not it's not anything to do with our social networks um i've been writing stuff for ranker.com i mentioned this last week when we had this whole discussion about um best hair of the housewives um and uh this week my assignment was to write uh do a list of the best real housewives of all time and so I compiled a list and I would I think everyone should go over and check it out because you can vote so you can the women will go up and down depending on the votes but it was like on our face but yeah it was like super fun to compile because you know I love making lists and I love comparing these women obviously this is not really a spoiler at least Evanderump was in first place, you know.

And I think she'll probably stay there. But it'll be fun to see how everyone else goes up and down that list. I'd love to hear everyone's input, et cetera. So that link is already on our Facebook page. Yeah, so go there. Yeah. Go to your duties, Americans. And, you know, by the way, it's, like, really hard.

I guess it's funny. When we talk about these Real Housewives shows, it's so hard to decide what makes a best Real Housewives, you know? Is it because we like them? Is it like Lisa Vanderpump where she's sort of like effortlessly, you know, awesome and hilarious and she's got a dry wit? Or do you put someone like Tamara on there because she's so awful, like you would hate her in real life. She's one of the most hateful people of all time. No, she's so awful like you wouldn't you would hate her in real life she's one of the most hateful people of all time no she's gross i would say if i had to do it i would say that you would do it because they have to be loaded right because that's the point of the show they have to be

genuinely loaded and they have to have some semblance of class and they have to be also bitchy but not horrible to where you hate them so i I think that's why Lisa wins because she's loaded. Yeah. She's a bitch, but she's a funny bitch. So we're still on her side and she's classy. And yeah, she's not an evil witch. Just like living in a condo and trying to like bring people down so she can

get more money or more gym memberships. Right. But you know, I also put people like Teresa G. Dice and Danielle Saab on there because it's like they're awful, horrific people. But they're almost like – like you can't have the Housewives without them. Like that makes them kind of best Housewives material, right? You don't think so?

I mean maybe if it was best villains or something like that. Yeah. Well, Danielle Staub currently is lingering at the very bottom of the list. She's in last place with Tamara not far behind and Kim Zolciak. So I guess the people will determine. But someone like Kenya Moore, you know? Awful bitch. Awful bitch. Terrible human being.

But at the same time, it's like, oh, thank God she's there. Yeah. And really funny. And, yeah, thank God she's there. Yeah, and really funny. And, yeah, brings a lot to the table. But, man, what a horrible human being. God, thank God for Bravo for really making us think about things. Yeah, thanks, Brobs. You're really pulling us deep.

Pulling us into the deep end. Yeah, exactly. So, speaking of Teresa, we'll start off with a little gossip. By the way, speaking of Teresa, light Ebola attack. Speaking of Teresa, let me expunge something from my lungs. So, excuse me, I'm pooping and vomiting myself to death from Ebola while we talk about Teresa. But, speaking of Teresa, Teresa, Speaking of bloody tears. She got fired by her crisis manager this week,

which to me is hilarious. It's a crisis unto itself. Because all I know really about crisis management is what I see on Scandal. And I mean, when does Olivia Pope fire you? You've really got to fuck up. And basically this crisis manager is all pissed off because Teresa filed a motion without her permission to ask if she could get transferred to the same jail that Orange is the New Black is filmed in, which is such a bizarre story. What? I didn't even know Orange is the New Black was filmed at a functional jail.

Or it's based on it or something. Oh, based. Okay. So I don't know why she wanted to move there it's in connecticut i don't i don't understand why i don't understand that's the one that's in like is that the one that martha stewart was at like camp cupcake or whatever oh i don't know yeah that's that's what they nicknamed it camp cupcake yeah i can imagine somebody telling theresa oh you got to go to the same jail martha stewart did remember the poncho?

They'll love you there. So actually that makes more sense now. So it's like how would she fucking know which jail? But I guess that's a stupid question. I can't help but think that now that she is down a crisis manager, like she has no one else to turn to except Kim D. And Kim D will be her new crisis manager. And she's like, okay, here's what we're going to do, okay? We're just going to invite the judge and all the jurors and all the reporters to a fashion show, okay? And then you and Melania are going to walk down the runway and everything's going to be okay. It'll be great.

We'll serve appellinis and you'll be out in like three days. I'll make sure Melissa's in the show too and her dress doesn't fit and everyone's going to laugh at her. And then I'm going to tell one of the way that she was a stripper. And then everyone's going to laugh at her, and then I'm going to tell one of the way that she was a stripper, and then everyone's going to know by the end of the party, and everyone's going to be talking about her vagina instead of your jail trip, and then you can sneak out the back, and you'll be safe forever. No one will even know who you are anymore. And your brother has a small penis.

Your brother has a small penis. And I'm giving the vibe that Kim, whatever the other Kim was, the old lady Kim, Kim G. Kim Granitelle. You know Kim Granitelle's going to be like, you know, you know that basically what's going to, I feel, I'm actually a little surprised that when Teresa and Joe walked out of the courthouse, that Kim Granitelle didn't come running up through the crowd like, like, like Casey Wilson in Gone Girl and be like, You want to go to jail?

Here's what you, what happened to the millions of dollars you know where's your wife ben affleck where's your wife what did you do to your pregnant wife where's your other daughter theresa doesn't even make sense who's that daughter that doesn't look like any of you theresa you know kim g is totally the type of person who would like she's gonna like be standing at like when when when theresa rolls up in the bus at the jail kim granitell's gonna be there with a poster and be like give back the money give back the money so while we're on kim granitell we could save this to the real housewives recap but i do want to talk about her because I think one aspect that we haven't talked about yet in this whole Teresa going to jail thing is Kim G.

Yes. Because one huge thing that has been going on the past couple of seasons are all these accusations that it's actually Kim who this whole time has been trying to bring Teresa and Joe down. And it finally worked and that these authorities wouldn't have even been on to them without a bunch of evidence that kim supposedly dug up with her friends tom murrow and monica chacon who is one of the lawyers i guess tomorrow on this case and that awful horrible hack tom murorrow is like the worst. What do you think about that? Do you think that Kim actually was behind this? Because I was reading some old stories and the accusations of Teresa saying that Jackie and Kim were working together.

And Teresa, Kim tweeting that she was speaking with Jackie every day. You know what? That is such a crazy conspiracy theory, and I love it. But it's not really that crazy because it's what Teresa has been accusing them of this whole time, and it's what Kim Granitell has been bragging about on Twitter. She's been saying that she's working to bring Teresa down with a bunch of legal documents, and she's got all this scoop. And now here we are a couple years later documents and she's got all this scoop and now here we are

a couple years later and bitch is going to jail isn't that amazing I love it that's like very Desperate Housewives season one you know like that's what I that's why I tuned into nighttime soap so good nighttime soap that's what it should be like one housewife pisses off another so the other one's gonna like

dig up all the dirt and send her to jail and ruin her fucking life. Yeah, I live for that shit. And if that's true, then bravo, drop the ball for not pursuing Kim Granitelle because that is brilliant. The Kim Granitelle thing is also fascinating because I read – I was talking to my best friend this week about all this. So we were doing a bunch of Googling on the phone because that's what kind of lives we have yeah and um when i was googling it it said that kim granitelle was on the show because she was feeding danielle oh because she was letting danielle use her limo so she was exchanging basically a driver and a car to make Danielle look richer so that she could guest on the show.

So she started in such a pathetic fashion and she got fucked with. And then she went through all of this trouble to bring people down, you know, that she. Well, that's the way it works. I mean, it's like that's how it works on a nighttime soap. You know, it's's always the desperate lady, the one who's marginalized, who's going to make her big splash somehow. And you can never overlook them.

Because you know what? A woman scorned is a woman you don't want to mess with. If there's anything we've learned about Gone Girl, and I'm going to keep on referencing that movie, if there's anything we've learned, don't overlook a woman. Oh, yeah. Well, we've learned that in a lot of different ways over the course of history. Yes.

Yes. Starting with Clytemnestra. Starting with the Real Housewives of Orange County. Starting with the Real Housewives of the Garden of Eden. Where the Bible started in Orange County. Yes. Don't you feel bad if all that was left of our civilization 4,000 years from now were these shows or our recaps of the shows? And somehow whatever new civilization or species built a narrative of our lives based on this stuff

it'd be really interesting yeah they're like eve eve was in the garden of eden but then she demanded to hold an orange and god told her to stop being greedy so she fucked over adam and held the orange anyway and that's where sin began yeah we like eve invited over the other six goddesses of society for a dinner party. And then one threw wine in the other one's face and a psychic told the other one when she was going to die. And there was the fight. And from then on, there was strife in the world. Trying very hard to like, to like shoehorn Real Housewives mythology with real mythology. Andy Cohen gave his only child, and she was crucified on a cross, and her name was Teresa Giudice.

And now we can sin in peace. Oh, thanks. So, yeah, that gets a little dicey. But anyway, I'm surprised I haven't heard anything about Kim G in this whole thing. And what did she have to do with this? And does she deserve credit for it? And would it be credit or would it be a lawsuit? I'm not really sure.

Well, here's why I think that Kim G has nothing to do with it. Because if she had even the slightest bit, like if she had passed on a Post-it note to the DA, the slightest bit, like if she had passed on a post-it note to the DA, Tom Moreau would have sent out an email to every single person and be like, this just in, my very good friend, Kim G, sent along a post-it note, and here's a picture of the

post-it note, and it's like a low-res 72-pixel picture of a post-it note. Be like, this just in, and here's the two of us drinking champagne while we talk about the post-it note i don't know if you're going to use these photos uh please put all credit to tom morrow possibly but you know it is pretty bizarre that all of this happened um and she's always

claimed that she's had help from jacqueline and now jacqueline is back on the show suddenly i don't know this is just all very fishy everything but she's still only talking about Teresa I'm looking at her Twitter right now and it's uh basically just her everything is at Teresa at Teresa um Kim Granitelle says Teresa should pick up garbage in prison um I mean she's just awful you know pay for furniture they won't even buy a lollipop glad the judge saw through theresa's bs stay tuned which bunk would you prefer top or bottom oh that's different and still disgusting but oh my god dumb as wood don't know what plea deal means it's called find out beyond stupid you know what if teresa winds

up at this jail that o-i-n-t-b is based on whatever it truly would give new meaning to the term orange is the new black because clearly it refers to her tan the color of her skin oh yeah so that's that that's my conspiracy theory for the week. But I'm surprised we haven't heard anything yet. Well, how about this? Normally we go through all our gossip that we haven't covered on the bonus show and then go into a recap. So why don't we just go into New Jersey and then we'll do some more gossip after New Jersey. Well, there's actually not a whole lot of gossip left.

Well, there's the Bethany stuff. We'll talk about that in New Jersey. Okay, we'll talk about that okay we'll talk about stay tuned people first let's talk about jersey it's gonna be shocking it's gonna be shocking the big shocking bethany gossip after the big shocking real houses of new jersey season finale shock shock shock okay shocking housewives of new jersey um wow What a way to end a dud of a season with a dud of a finale. Good job, guys. Basically, it sucked.

So here's the thing. Bravo was teasing all week long and then throughout the show some sort of confrontation between the twins and Teresa. They're like, are you really so dumb to believe that, Teresa? Teresa. Teresa. Do you actually have a cell in your brain, Teresa? Teresa, prove to me you're not stupid. Prove to me that you have one tiny piece of brain left in your head, a brain's brain. Teresa, Teresa, my culotta has more brain cells than your brain.

Your brain is like a culotta, but a stupid culotta, unlike my smart culotta. The twins are both C-words. I hate them both. I hope they die in a horrible car accident. Although, and when you say C-word, again, you're referencing culottas. Culottas, yes. They're both cunt-flavored culottas.

Okay, that's what I meant to say. Cuntlottas. Oh. Getting misogynistic. I'm sorry, people. But it was there for the taking. I had to make the joke. Cuntladas oh getting misogynistic i'm sorry people but it was there for the taking i had to make the joke cuntladas if you like pina cuntladas they're awful and just need attention and i don't understand how they're how she's saying it's karma because this was the episode where she's like well that's karma clink clink she's like you talked about my family you should shut it down you should shut it down immediately but now you're going to prison and your family's ruined so that's karma i don't understand isn't karma like a balancing out how

is that balance or fairness and how narcissistic are you to think that like if someone dares speak about like the twins families that then they go to jail because their their families are that like sacrosanct well there's two things here um the twins are cut modest um and the other thing is everything that's come out about the twins in the season there have been two major things and they've just denied both of them but um they just deny it and move on it's like i don't believe that they're both lies. First of all, Rina was the one who supposedly said something. Yeah.

They didn't even deny it at first. She just left. She just said it was disgusting and left and said that it was disgusting that they were talking about it. Disgusting. The second thing was that one of the twins ruined a family. Like, she broke up a family, which obviously she was having an affair with some married guy or something and they just kind of glossed over that too so i'm wondering why these twins are so special that nobody's going after them they can yell at everybody else but then everybody else just backs down and says i'm sorry i didn't mean anything what is it just because

they're crazy or i think we've finally we've we've finally set some sort of moral bar in Jersey where even despicable people like Teresa and Joe and Alyssa and Joe will not even bother messing with the twins. Like it's not even worth their time to go after them because they're just that lame. Yeah, exactly. yeah exactly yeah they're like that poor girl in school with like kind of mousy hair and too much makeup who's giving blowjobs first you're like yeah i know you think you're so advanced but of course everybody likes you because they're going to get their dick sucked later okay yeah that's the only reason we had some of those with the twins yeah that's that's that's pretty much correct and accurate. And what was funny was when they were – they were coming at Teresa and they were doing it in such an obnoxious way.

The way they were saying that like, are you so stupid? But like Teresa just – I thought Teresa was going to flip it. And they tried – Bravo tried to make it seem like, oh shit, things are going to go down. Like even like Dina was like, don't call her stupid. That's the one thing you don't call her. That's her trigger. And the music was like, dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. And then Teresa's like, huh? No, I didn't say

it like that. I didn't say it like that. Like, oh, okay, good. And I was like, hugs. Hugs. The twins did have a point, I will say, when they're saying, you shoot a scene with Victoria Gotti. Obviously, she's got something to say. Obviously, you knew what she was going to say.

You let her say it on TV. Okay, I get that. But, bitches, you're on a real housewife show. And if your husband is going around telling people that he's trying to fuck, by the way, that he's fucked your mother, then it's going to come out. You're on a housewife show. What are you going to do? So what? Who cares?

So what? Who cares? Welcome to the real housewives, okay? Yeah. So, I mean, calm yourself. Yeah. Calm yourself. But, you know, the whole thing where they're like,

oh, well, if you have something to say to me, then let's fight it out between ourselves. But if it's something about my family, do not repeat it. Don't just pretend die let it die so if theresa had not said anything after that scene and just ignored it they would have had a fucking fit that she didn't say anything so that they could address it on tv they would have had a cow yeah it's unfair people it's unfair that's what I'm saying that was like the big like fight and then previously on earlier on the episode

there was nothing else I mean Amber cut her hair because it's been five years since the cancer and and then her little girl cried which you know was sort of funny not funny like laughing at her it was like funny that the girl was like she's like your hair's so short now whatever um melania was a terror because melania

and um well also she barely cut off any hair like what kind of haircut is that kid gonna get it's gonna be like a bowl cut of like yeah enjoy your annie lennox wig you know it's like enjoy your liza manelli wig it's like, enjoy your Liza Minnelli wig. She's like, I dedicated my hair to cancer victims. Someone's like, okay, I guess I'm going to be looking like Rosie now.

Very short hair. You like how I keep it current? No, listen, Mary Lou Red right is very current because i think about her all the time non-stop um uh but that was basically that was like a nothing storyline um and then we had like dina had her ladybug project ladybug thing at this at this woman what was her name like amber's like Amber's Farm or something like that. Or Abby's Farm. This giant house with huge dogs.

Again, no story there. It was just like she was having a function. I think what was funny to me was the last 10 minutes of the show. Because the last 10 minutes of the show, it was funny. Bravo fast forwarded to basically just like three weeks ago when Melissa – I'm sorry, when Teresa and Joe were sentenced. And they – Bravo had sort of framed the entire episode. So like the beginning, they show them walking out of the courthouse and they're like – they're trying to be like all edgy with their camera work. And they were like six months ago as if like anything in the episode was going to have any bearing on the sentencing. And of course it didn't

because it was just like a project ladybug function. But anyway, the last 10 minutes, we fast forwarded back again, back to October 2nd or whatever. And we have cameras at Kathy's house and Jacqueline comes over and they're all sitting by the phones, on their smartphones,

watching the news, waiting for the sentencing. And finally, Teresa gets slammed with her 15 months and Jacqueline starts to sob. I'm like, what the fuck are you sobbing about, Jacqueline? OK, you were trying to make this happen the whole time. You don't bitch. And also you have no tears. Connie Chung.

OK, Connie Chung on a bender. Yeah, I was just like you spent like two two and a half seasons hating theresa deservedly so i was on your side jacqueline and then all of a sudden now that you're out of the spotlight you know and then you want sort of like be back in with like the one who is getting the good at it now all of a sudden you're sobbing as if this is like your sister that's been taken away no yeah she's ridiculous and i love when they showed the clip i don't even think it was in this episode but somewhere this week they showed the clip of jackie at the reunion being like oh yeah remember when you told me that your husband was getting head on the on his desk

and you walked in i mean stop acting like you're some sweet innocent little friend and you just cannot understand why no one will return your calls jacqueline okay i know dumb hoe when she was honestly when she was sobbing i was actually laughing i was laughing at like how ridiculous it's like you're not going to jail jacklyn okay like it's a bummer it's disgusting vultures they need to get rid of this entire cast they need to just go find a new fucked up family and film keep it family and just film the family and just do that because these people are all disgusting kathy and and uh rich jackalyn sitting there acting like they give a fuck after they've done nothing but talk shit and cause shit for years and i'm not standing up for theresa okay she's an idiot yeah she needs to

go too yeah um one of the funny things uh that was in our gossip thing but i'm gonna move it up here is heather dubrow making a statement. Oh, God. Did you read that? No, I didn't know about this. Oh, my God. Okay, let me find it. Cindy C posted it.

It's actually really rich. Cindy C posts good stuff. Yeah, she's always got good shit. So Heather Dubrow's comments from an interview on the Judicis. Ballsy. If there was a Bravo executive who pled guilty to 41 counts of fraud, would they keep him on the payroll?is ballsy if there was a bravo executive who pled guilty to 41 counts of fraud would they keep him on the payroll asked heather absolutely not in my opinion but an exec would not bring viewers to the network hashtag priorities isn't theresa a bravo employee at

some point are we harboring a criminal oh i love that she's i love that she's uh you know heather has taken her her classic high horse mentality to this situation because I think she finally realized this is one where she will win. She's like there will be no Shannon Bedore to take her down. She's like, oh, this is a high horse situation where basically no one can refute me on this one because she's right. Hashtag priorities. me on this one because she's right hashtag what if they have another one of those housewives reunion things where they have like every cast from the housewives on at the same time she's gonna get her ass beat oh i'm fine with that yeah me too she could use it a little gerbil eyes she won't get her she will not first of all she won't get her ass beat because the moment that

someone does something mildly aggressive she was gonna to back away and then make us think about it. Honestly, someone will be like, Heather, and she'll be like, the way that she yelled at me, the way that with the rage in her eyes, I did not feel comfortable. I did not feel comfortable. My children are here. Please leave. And then you hear the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor as she leaves, taking it with her. It's my chair now teresa would be like i want to leave but i can't this thing will stop beeping

so that so that's that so jackie kathy disgusting nothing shocking there um my my personal favorite point of the episode was when Teresa and Joe were outside of the courtroom being followed by reporters. Listening to the reporters' questions. I mean, listen, reporters, you are fucking morons, okay? Can you guys ever ask a good question? This is the reporters. Teresa, Joe,

are you going to miss your children? No. Who's going to say no? What a stupid question theresa are you sad about going to jail and one guy asked theresa do you watch oranges the new black yeah that was that guy was obviously a real reporter question yeah that guy was fucking with them though for sure yeah but they're just all horrible it's like what are you what are you gonna get they're gonna stop and really answer your question stop they're like theresa is jail scary you know what though stupid reporters you know what though thank god for those twins i'll rarely say that but thank god because they were

the only ones on the episode i think again who said you know what if you if you do shady things you're gonna go to jail it's like like I feel like that's getting totally lost in this. Like, Teresa's gotten such a sympathetic, I mean, edit where it's like, oh, no, the plight of Teresa. Her family's going to be broken up. It's like, yeah, that is like a serious thing to think about. But she did it herself. I live in a state with medical marijuana. And my memory is very, very short.

So, Teresa's rehab. I mean, to me, I've been kind of, I don't want to say feeling bad, but I've softened towards Teresa totally this season. So, this week when I was on my little Google Fest with my friend gossiping about all this stuff, I was horrified about how terrible she is. I mean, the first season, she's building this mansion that she's living in now.

Yeah. The real house that she lived in is some little shack. Like, their real house is like some ghetto-ass little shack in Patterson,

okay? Yeah. So, they won't let them shoot there. They'll only let them shoot in this new house even though it's still being built. Right.

They never paid for it. The, all the shots from the paparazzi outside that house were of Joe driving a Corvette, uh, which was never paid for. So these people never paid for shit. Then at the first reunion and Danielle's like,

Oh, your house is being foreclosed on. She's like, it's not bitch. Uh, but it was about to be because they never fucking paid for it i mean what the hell man so they make me more and more disgusted the further back i go and remember how nasty those thank you thank you yeah they deserve it bye they're gross gross awful awful

people yeah that need to go to jail i don't think's good. I think it's good for society that they go to jail. I think it teaches people a lesson. Don't be awful. Don't steal from people. Don't steal from people. You're going to go to jail. Some other stuff that happened Real Housewives of New Jersey-wise this week was Victoria Gotti. Victoria Gotti is firing back at Teresa A aprea and nicole napolitano oh the twins appeared on watch what happens live did you see that um somehow i managed to miss that so i was watching it because we were doing a live viewing party thing i was doing with katie

cazorla and she was so fun oh how how was that? And they tricked us. By saying Real Housewives of New Jersey. Was an hour and a half. So everybody's DVR recorded. You know. Bravo's getting tricky with this shit. So now it looks like Andy Cohen's show. Is actually doing a lot better than it is. But anyway.

It was just the watch what happens. Was the last half hour. And the twins were on. And they were disgusting, of course. And I know I say disgusting too much, but it really can't be said enough when we're talking about the Jersey biatches. And they were going off about, she's like,

well, you know, Teresa and I are in a good place now. But, you know, I'm not sorry, because that was my mom. That was my mother. She gave me my first culotta. My favorite thing was, oh, Victoria Gotti. Oh, she's disgusting. Who cares about

her? She's a has-been, and I'm a housewife, so suck on that, Victoria. I'm a housewife, and you're a has-been. Oh, no, honey. You're a housewife for like five minutes. Now, bye. Go scatter off to the Dairy Queen or wherever you came from. Where did Koladas come from?

Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah, go back to Dunkin's. You know, she doesn't use Kegel Balls. She just uses Munchkins. She just sticks them up there. Talk about a yeast infection. Yeah! So Victoria Gotti tweeted back

after this episode and said, real housewife in quotations should never be compared to a real r-e-e-l housewife insulting to all hard-working ladies who do keep house who do raise children without help who do take care of their husbands not for the cameras but for real life and those are eel housewives who live in glass houses all one word should never hurl stones without being properly informed no absolutely no money from bravo to appear none requested none paid next and then her rep said victoria did not get paid for her appearance on real housewives of new jersey so she didn't do anything for money and as far as her being a well, we have a polygraph test that says otherwise.

I contacted the appraise rep and asked if they would take a polygraph as well to put an end to this whole mess, and it was declined. As a public relations professional, I cannot understand why they keep drawing more and more media attention to a situation which presumably they want to go away.

Jesus. So awful. Everything about this is just awful and annoying. Terrible. Yeah. And shade. Shade. Okay. Another one is Dina telling off Jim Marchese on Twitter.

Oh, good. Oh, yeah. Because, oh, God. So, Jim says, Abby and Tommy were paid big dollars for their home on Real Housewives of New Jersey. These are the people who donated their home for this ladybug thing. Wealthy people taking from kids with cancer for profit. Jim Marchese. That guy's so disgusting.

He is. So he's basically accusing Dina of having this charity and then using all the money she's raising to get a mansion to film in. Oh, please. I don't think Dina would do that. Which is so stupid. Well, to be considered a charity, you only have to give a very small percentage of what you make at an event to charity. That's why huge, and I learned about this catering in New York. These charity balls they have cost millions of dollars. They're these huge balls people wear,

basically Real Housewives dresses, like those ball gowns and stuff. There's like acrobats and orchestras and famous opera singers. I mean, they spend millions of dollars on these things. And then maybe they raise a couple million, but they only have to give a certain percentage of that to charity.

You know, it is a racket. I'm not saying that hers is. But, yeah, Jim Marchese is still an asshole. But, yeah. Anyway, that was his tweet. Then, you know, some random. Dina, please clear this up. Did they get paid to open their house for this charity event?

And he wrote back, yeah, Dina, we are waiting. How much was Abby paid? He's such a bitch. She is. yeah Dina we are waiting how much was Abby paid he's such a bitch Dina tweeted back at JL Marchese 111 Jim shut the fuck up

you know production shows Abby's house if they paid her that's their business we had zero cost from Wondery this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some.

As a fighter for Black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own,

she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world

of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. They said that they took money. IMO should have been donated. Is it true andy there you go showing your true colors dina i thought you were zen

uh get some class why is he engaging i mean i know why he's engaging in this because it's that way people like us talk about it but he's so awful like you know jim you know what it goes back to that episode when dina says jim you're winning like all he had to do is just smile and be nice and he would have been better than all the other guys on this show and many other shows but he is now actually below like he's worse than the joes he's worse than like veto or reno he's worse than he's worse than everyone. Yeah, he's the worst. It was like his to lose. I mean, when we first saw them, their kids were like in shirt and tie.

They were like well-behaved, more or less. It was like, oh, look at this. Like a good family. Like, you know, all he had to do was keep his mouth shut and just smile and be polite. The worst thing about Twitter is that, you know, Dina has people slinging this shit at her right so it's jim and by the way i'm getting this on stupid housewives which i love because she's always got so much dirt but they not only are throwing shit at them it's like everyone like the public gets to throw shit too you know yeah so all these other tweets i'm reading are just

from the public they're not from jim They're just from random ass people on Twitter. Just admit Abby did it for money. Why lie and say it was donated? Production does pay big bucks. They paid me big bucks when they filmed Blow and Ali next door to me. Like, okay. Dina, as the founder of Ladybug, shouldn't you have known these arrangements? That money should have gone to the charity.

You kissed your husband with that mouth, Dina? Oh, that's the charity you kissed your husband with that mouth dina oh that's right you kissed your cat with that mouth you know people it's like fucking disgusting and also a bunch of fucking idiots who don't know how charity works because charities do have costs and they are allowed to pay if she had that shit catered yes she would have paid for it with the charity's money and that's how it works okay get over it poor people who donate nothing yeah on twitter specifically not any of us in real life people are awful i'm losing faith in humanity every passing second i never really had it i was raised in bible school so i had that bible in my brain early and i was like whoa humans are scary i want no part of this that's why i stay in bed i mean if there was

no blogging i'd be homeless on on a fucking i'd be in a cardboard box i don't want to go out there it's just scary out there i'm perfectly fine in here okay yeah you all have fun out there with your real world yeah okay so that's real housewives of new jersey let's move on man all right what what's next um uh do we want to talk i'll have like a talk briefly before we go to our next show about the fact that bethany is coming back to real housewives of new york sure what do you think about that um like i'm i'm for it i feel like that's what about this but now it's official it is official she is she gonna be a real like is she gonna be a full-time housewife or is she i'm not sure i'm not sure because she released a sort of a statement being like i'm so happy to be back

where i'm along you know that this is where i always shine but she's like ironically whenever i'm on this show i'm not actually a housewife i'm like okay but um the fact that she releases sort of a statement about it makes me think that maybe she has a major role. And I also feel like she's the type, because she's sort of such a star, that she wouldn't just have a minor role. But at the same time, maybe she does just want a minor role to sort of – because she's too big. I don't know. They didn't say if she was – in anything I read, they never said if she was an actual housewife. Well, it's interesting because she supposedly got Aviva the job. And Aviva's fired so it would have been funny for them to keep Aviva

just to watch him interact because you know that shit would be hilarious. Oh my god. I don't think they should have fired Aviva. She's, you know, awful, awful, awful, but she makes for some of the most hilarious confrontations. There must have

been pushback about george there must have she must have been a pain in the ass to bravo because i don't think they would have uh fired her um otherwise well you know beth the reason that aviva got fired from what i read is kind of the same reason that bethany was so fucking boring in her final season on the show. And that's because she wouldn't interact with anybody. She was like on her own. You know, it was all about Bethany's photo shoots and Bethany's famous now and Bethany's blah, blah, blah. She would hardly film with anybody else. And that was Aviva's thing.

She wouldn't go on the trips. You know, you kind of have to be part of a group. So I'm hoping it's not like a Kim zolciak thing where she just refuses to shoot with anybody and then when they confront her about it she quits right you know i mean i don't i think bethany's probably a little more mature than that but um i don't know bethany i liked bethany at first and then i grew to not like her and then when she got a talk show i really grew to not like her so it'll be interesting to see how she reinvents herself. But right now, I don't really care.

As long as it's coming back, I'm good. And I don't like that they're changing it all up and getting rid of Ramona. I mean, that shit was hilarious last year. I know the ratings sucked, but I think the ratings sucked because it was on a Tuesday, not because of – Yeah, I agree. And also, again, like people have a hard time with new faces. But then at the same time – Renee Zellweger. At the same time, I think Bethany will bring people back to the show. Yeah, hopefully.

Maybe people are just sick of this shit. Yeah. And they're getting – you know, Bravo is showing less of them which is great like they're only showing one at a time now which is a nice change so there's i don't think it's gonna yeah well do you think it's gonna last i don't think so i mean we have atlanta coming up but there's just there's no there's no way to physically show just one at a time yeah well atlanta's coming up and then beverly hills is what the new year i guess probably because we have we actually have a lot of stuff coming up and then Beverly Hills is what, the new year, I guess? Probably.

Because we actually have a lot of stuff coming up. Because we have Atlanta coming up. Shazza Sunset will be coming up soon. We have Vanderpump Rules, which I'm beyond excited about. And then we also have this new show coming out called Euros of Hollywood, which is not about Greek sandwiches. It's about actual Europeansans living in los angeles um and there was a preview special that aired um and you know uh i watched i saw the preview special this weekend and i i immediately texted you uh for for in case you forgot and i was like we're gonna we're gonna have so much fun with this show this show is hilarious

let's let's talk about it let's talk about what we saw on that previous special um so this basically just introduced all the characters so there's this like flaming gay guy who's a straight guy from italy oh he's supposed to be straight yeah he's straight wow but i'll tell you one thing this show is really going to challenge our perceptions of gay and straight because there's also another flaming gay does europe so there you go massimo who uh went into our local target and was like you can return anything oh that's the great thing about america you can return it i mean look we're gonna have to take some accent classes because yeah i can do some of. I don't know how to do Italian.

The accents are so crazy on this show. But anyway, go on about it. Because everyone is from somewhere different. So there's him, and he's an actor, but he's not just an actor. He's an actor, director, model, choreographer, singer, probably whore, probably gay whore. Little choreographer. Dancer, choreographer, singer, probably whore, probably gay whore. Yeah. And there's a scene that I loved that totally encapsulates his personality and Hollywood's personality together.

He's having a meeting with some director. Yes. And the director's looking at him like he's a total loser because he's dressed like a woman. He's super flaming and has a really thick accent which i mean you know you got to work on at least one of those things you can't just like walk he is he is he's trying to get rid of his accent so this director's looking at him kind of cockeyed like literally because the director i think wanted a little and um he says well what what qualifies you to be an actor and massimo's like well i was a refugee and we were kicked out of, you know,

blah, blah, blah, when I was a kid and watching my family be destroyed through the... And you can hear, like, the violin music playing and the director's like, I'm impressed. You're going to do great here. It's like... Gross. That is so gross.

He's like, wow, way to exploit your family's pain for a SAG card. Yeah, exactly. The pain of the Yugoslavian war. Croatian. How come everybody born in Croatia is gorgeous? Do you know that? Well, I don't think this guy's that gorgeous, to be honest.

He's pretty cute. I mean, he's probably like the ugliest person in the village. No offense, Massimo. Because Croatians are georgious. You know, you're actually right. I think if he had better hair, I would like him more. And better style, too. person in the village no offense massimo because croatians are good georges they they you know you're actually right i think if actually if you had better hair i would like him more and and better style too i might wear those silk see-through shirts where you can see the bra underneath like women wear who does that my favorite thing that he did was at one point he tried to do like an

american accent and it was like this crazy italian generally sort of like Italian, general European version of American. He's like, hey there, I'm going to rob you now with my gun. That's probably how all of our Australian listeners feel about us talking about it. I actually had that thought when I was watching. I had that thought. I was like, this is probably what Australians

think of our Melbourne accent. It's like, I'm Jeaner. Oh, Jeaner. Oh, Mossimo. How awful. How terrible. fans think of our melbourne accents like good night i'm jener oh jener oh massimo how awful how terrible massimo what a horrible person what a horrible accent to have massimo he's crazy they spent i think the most time on him he's like i love to iron i iron everything i want to iron you it's like i love to, to be fair, he did look like he put out a good spread. Yeah. He's going to be hilarious.

Yeah. And by the way, when Europeans in general say, oh, I'm going to cook you something, you should almost always eat it because it's usually amazing. It's usually got a lot of carbs and cream in it. Yeah. And it's from his mama. One time after gay pride, I was wasted my friend and we there was nowhere to go into that wasn't crazy busy because you know i live in west hollywood and so we stumbled into the russian place called track tier oh i've always wanted to go there okay i had had booze spilled on

me three times throughout the day uh-huh um my friend got had someone throw up on his shoe so we probably looked and smelled crazy. Yeah. And we didn't know what to eat. So we just started pointing at things. And everything they brought was like some kind of a potato dish in cream. Every single thing there with cheese all over it. I'm for it. I'm for it.

That's awesome. And I think that's also why Russians are so upset all the time. They don't. They need more vegetables. Like they're not getting any positive energy from natural foods okay yeah exactly plus also um years of hardship that's that's also another thing that possibly but a lot could be solved with fruits and vegetables i mean look it's true just being healthy changed renee zellweger's whole face it it did which is something we spoke about in the bonus episode mini plug i'm sorry i get these mixed up it's okay no we um for those of you who want to hear what we think about renee zelliger's face you can donate to

patreon um free needs to be kept separated so we're not pissing people off by being like here's money um no i mean i'll still talk about i'll still talk about her face don't get me wrong um way better than the faces of these we can talk about her face again't get me wrong um way better than the faces of these ladies talk about her face again we can just keep talking about her face like facebook for the rest of the week because that shit is never gonna stop yeah everybody on facebook's like but her face but her face what do you think oh feminism ah what do you think about feminism ah this is wrong oh that's sexist oh but she looks like a horror show it It's like, shut up, Facebook. How about you go back to worrying about Ebola, Facebook? Okay? Yeah.

So then there was a Leona who is, as she says, the Madonna of Albania, which really does not set the bar very high for herself. I mean, Madonna's rich, but basically she's just an old slag at this point. I think you should maybe pick, like... That's like me saying I'm like the Terence Trent Darby of Bangladesh. Like, okay.

How dare you? Madonna is huge. No, I mean, Madonna's great, of course. But Madonna of Albania? I'm not really sure. Bliona sounds... She seems like she'll be a lightning rod for a lot of controversy because she seems like a stubborn bitch well she's the bitch on wheels yeah when she is from eastern europe so um she was a princess oh oh i missed that part her family was in power

when she was a child and then someone else came into power and they were stripped of all their power. Which I think is why as an adult, she goes from being Madonna in one country and then has to start all over in another. It's like some weird pattern this bitch is in. But basically, she comes here and she's like, I will be a star? I will be a huge star

here. Biggest singer in America. In Malbendia, if I have an issue i call prime minister but here i have to do it myself so i have to pump my own gas yeah and i have a soft spot for her because she's like takes care of her parents um which is something i would never do in a million years i would i wouldn't even send them cards from the old folks i didn't wait i didn't for some reason i didn't see that i would if i, I would totally take care of them. I'd have them live in my basement. I'd throw them down some bones.

Be like, hey, guys. Remember when you sent me to fat camp? I take care of my parents because I'm Bliona. I'm from Albania. And that's what I do because I'm Madonna of Albania. And Madonna famously takes care of her parents. Actually, I think Madonna cut her brother off. and I haven't heard about the rest of them. I think her mom died when she was young or something.

This is getting sad. Does she even have parents? I feel like Madonna just sort of appeared one day on planet Earth. Yeah, she just popped out of somebody. She popped out of a verge. Well, she clearly has a papa because he preaches a lot. Oh, that's true. Papa don't preach.

Yeah, so she's the Madonna of Albania. Ja. She's going to be the one that everybody fights with because she's really rude to everybody. But I'm also going to really enjoy watching her because she does actually go after a musical career and it's hilarious.

She has this outfit built for her out of metal that keeps pinching her yeah and she also has another out she also and her lexus is i think like gold chrome or something like that you know when you go to shows in la or anywhere really but especially la because i think there's so many fame horns here when you go see shows you know i do improv so i go see a lot of bad improv shows some are really great but you see a lot of desperately bad shows and you just feel horrible for people or you you'll go to an art show from your friend who says they're an artist and you just you leave there feeling horrible but man you go see a bad singer that is the best feeling in the world and i don't know what it is

but there's nothing more entertaining than terrible singers really having it they're all yeah exactly and thankfully bravo bravo knows how to uh how to capture that stuff yeah so that's blianca so what is it's not a bliona bliona it's not a blitz i'm thinking of but there's like some blini a blini thank you yeah yeah bliona blini yeah that should be the name of her new album. I'm dropping a new album. It's called Blini. And it's very popular in Albania because I'm sort of like a Blini. I'm like small and full of carbs. And you put little fish eggs on me and then you eat me.

That's why I'm Blini. I don't know. My fish eggs expire soon, so eat as fast as possible. Just like a Blayne. Just like Blayne. You know what? You're going to believe in Blayona, so that's why my new album is called Blayne. Believing in Blayone is Blayona Blayne.

All my songs start with Blay. So I have songs. It was originally called What's Love Got To Do With It, but now it's called What's Blove Got To Do With It. It was a's called What's Bluv Got To Do With It it was a cover from Blina Blurner I also have my ode to Laritha Blanklin

called Natural Blumen B-L-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what Blaspect means to me in Albania. This girl's gonna be a peach. She's the only brunette

and she's gonna try and take down every other girl. So, don't worry, there's gonna still be some girl on girl fighting. You know the girl that they're gonna try to take down the most slash also try to get in with is the blonde one who's married to Swedish House Mafia because she's the only one who seems to have any ties to like American pop culture relevance. I mean I don't remember what she actually does, but her – again, her husband is Swedish House Mafia. She put people together.

So here's what I do. She did. You want to make music? I put you together. She'll be like, you make music? You make music? Oh, you'll be together. Okay, give me percentage.

So she's like some kind of group former, I guess. And seeing from what we saw, Bliona's show, not very good at it. But her husband's super adorable. Love him. Huge fan. Yes, he makes very nice music. Although he retired, right? Didn't they, like... Yeah, he's done.

Yeah, he's over. But she is probably one that they're all gonna kiss ass. And then there's the guy, Sasha. He's from Germany. And he's like, you know, he's from germany and he's like you know he's like a dj but he's a dj from germany he's a dj and he's got like a family on skype who clearly are going to leave him um and then he also has a boutique so he's like very like you know fashion forward

yeah this guy um this guy's older i would say he's like 40s early to mid uh he's got what looks like a 20 year old wife and two kids on a webcam back home and he's like i will bring my kids here but i want to make sure that i have an empire for them and i'm like you want to make sure you can suck as much dick as you possibly can before that 20 year old comes over here and learns how to break into your craigslist emails by the way I just want to pause and say so I was trying to remember their name so I did a search for the cast I went into Starcasm and there's a picture of the cast

and in the picture Massimo has like dreadlocks he looks like Sean Paul the reggae singer and Bliona is wearing like a pink bathing suit but it looks like they're at some sort of like event but she's wearing a bathing suit everyone else is in full clothes love it this show is gonna be amazing yeah that's just

gonna be great so this dj guy um he's like big and strong and he owns his own business and his best friend is this other kind of obviously gay guy i mean it's europe so you don't know but at first i just assumed they were lovers right because? Because they both, I mean, they look like Siegfried and Roy. They really do. Like the surgery, the dye. Yeah. The working out. I'm waiting for the white feather coats because you know they've got them.

Right. But they're both straight, apparently. So that's weird. And then the other guy is like super rich and owns, what, jewelry. He's like blinky. Yeah, that's Yannick. Yannick Orlando, who I think, I think he's Danish. And he, I thought for sure,

I was like, oh, for sure this guy is gay. Like, it wasn't me being catty or, like, looking into anything. I thought, I was just like, oh, done deal, he's gay. And then it turns out that he has, like, a little girlfriend.

Yeah, and then he has, like, a 22-year-old girlfriend. So my question is, what do women in their 30s do in Europe? Because they ain't getting fucked. I mean, I thought it was bad enough here in la but it seems like these guys will only date people who are 20 or 20 21 years old i mean what the hell is that a european well it's an american thing too yeah i feel like i don't know my friends of my age are still getting laid. I mean, it is a tougher road to hoe, for sure. Yeah.

You hoe roads. Yeah. You know, maybe in the beginning, like, if you were in the 18th century and you needed to get the dirt out there instead of grass to start laying down things, yeah, I would hoe it. I would hoe that road. Hoe that road! That's going to be the new, like new tagline from someone on Atlanta this season. But I love this Johnnick guy who is talking about his girlfriend. And he's like, oh, if she gets mad at me, then she won't have sex with me.

And she won't talk to me. She's mean to me. Welcome to America. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. You make your woman happy up in here. You'll pay.

Yeah. You make your woman happy up in here You'll pay I also By the way just for reference The girl the Swedish house mafia girl Unsurprisingly she's from Sweden And her name is Isabel Just wanted to get those facts out there

Less people are really curious There's a couple of them who look exactly the same There's like a slut who's like a one hit wonder in Japan So that woman She's going gonna be hilarious blonde girl who looks just like her but no that's no is isabelle is a blonde one isabelle is from sweden they she and the other blonde girl look the same now the other blonde girl her name is fanny no last name it's just fanny and she's from austria she's from austria yeah she had a song

called it's all about you that was the number one hit in japan and that's it and when she when she introduced herself she was like well you know i had the number one hit in japan i just lost it i just started laughing i mean this show is so amazing but now she paints yeah now she's a painter yeah and she also like she's, like, cheated on her boyfriends. Oh, yeah. And she's like, everything that moves, I want to fuck it. That was one of her quotes from the show. I want to fuck it, then make

a painting about it, then sing a song that'll be popular in South Korea. Yeah, this, my main thought in watching this, first of all, I was smiling the whole time I watched this preview. Like, I'm gonna love this. And my second, I was smiling the whole time I watched this preview. I'm going to love this. And my second thought was this is the difference between this show to me and

Shaw's, at least so far. Because Shaw's, I mean, that show, I don't like that show. But this show, I think I'm going to really like it because these are people who are positive for the most part, even the crazy ones. And they're really trying to make it in a new place on their own and i really like that i respect that yeah i actually and i also believe

it or not feel like even though they're like all very douchey and ridiculous and like classic euro trash there is something where i do feel like they probably actually are skilled and talented in their own ways. You know, like the Shah's people, they're all just doing real estate. And I don't know. I don't know how – you know, when I look at Asa, I don't think it's – Like Asa, spending all your parents' money and driving around like a white fucking Bentley or whatever while your parents are living in East Hollywood in some shithole. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. No, I'm very excited about the show and in fact so my friend uh julia works with a production company that that uh that does this show so i'm

gonna see if uh she can maybe pull some strings maybe maybe some of these people can come on our show that would be hilarious i love that by the way our it started off we wanted renee zellweger to come on the show that was that was also on the bonus episode that's something you can look forward to we talked about our plans to get renee zellweger to come on the show. That was also on the bonus episode. That's something you need to look forward to. We talked about our plans to get Renee Zellweger to come on the podcast. It went from Renee Zellweger down to who was the next one we wanted on the show? Oh, Thomas Ravenel.

Thomas Ravenel, though. Maybe Thomas Ravenel will come on. And now we're down to the Euros of Hollywood. We've revised our expectations for Massimo. That shit's funny. I'm going to love this show. Yeah.

Love it already. And I'm telling you, it's going to love you. I feel it coming. So next, let's move on to Below Dick. Below Dick, our season finale. Shall we? So goodbye, Below Dick. Goodbye.

So they have that kind, below dick. Goodbye. Good job there. Goodbye. So they had that kind of, okay. Yeah. So you remember when I finally gave in and started watching this show? Yeah. Like mid-season, I guess. Yeah. And it was the episode with the penis pillow where she did the penis pillow, which wasn't that many episodes ago, but I was refusing up until that episode.

And then I thought it was hilarious. Well, I only watched the second half of that. So I saw Kate saying, well, he's calling me a bitch well fuck him and then she makes a penis pillow i re-watched that episode because there was a marathon of it and he didn't do anything wrong he just said you seem kind of robotic and bitch yeah like i don't think that was bad it's not the worst offense but it's all it's still it's i don't know i feel like i was way meaner to him than i should have been about that comment because that really wasn't she way overreacted but i still really love her and um it was a fun show i mean not a whole lot happened

but that same guy came back as the final charter guest but this time it was with a bunch of like 25 year old queens he was probably having sex with in the back. What does he do? Is he a modeling agent or something? No, he has nightclubs, I think, in Phoenix. Oh, there you go. Yeah. There you go. Glamorous, glamorous job.

Hot gays. Yeah. Hot gays in Phoenix. Yeah. Yeah, their charter was a perfectly lovely charter. To me, the big story of this episode, the thing that their charter was like a perfectly lovely charter. To me, the big story of this episode, the thing that I thought was funniest was Janice and Kelly,

and how, like, Janice, who spurned Kelly's advances for three quarters of the season, and then finally was like, okay, I like you. Now she's like, I can't wait to go back to Fort Lauderdale, and then we can continue our romance, because it's real. Now she's like, I can't wait to go back to Fort Lauderdale and then we can continue our romance because it's real. And he's like,

yeah. And like, the funny thing with Kelly is anytime there's something he doesn't want to talk about, he kind of like, he burps. He sort of does that thing where he starts talking and then he lets out a quiet burp. He's like, you know, he's like, well, yeah, well, when we go to Fort Lauderdale, so yeah.

And she's like, are we in love? I was like, well, yeah, when we go to Fort Lauderdale. So, yeah. She's like, are we in love? I was like, bitch, you should have. No, you're so meaty. Stop it. We said it all season long. She is Janice, plain and short. And she should have been so lucky to have that hot guy with the big wang

going after her. She should have taken advantage while she could have. and then she took too long to lock it down and uh now he's uh he's he's one of those people you've got to be really wary of when you're dating because they don't care about you or what you're thinking or what you look like they just need somebody to be with at all times and that's all that's it they will be committed and they will be as love as they can as in love as they can but they don't care that's just all about them being needy you know and then she's crying because she doesn't know what she's doing next no one knows what they're doing next you people are temps your temp maids all right your maids on a boat

you go find another boat you putting that on cra's list okay that's what you do you don't just try and you know get with some hot guy like what's he gonna do he's not gonna strip he's already been on tv he can't just be yeah for now yeah and by the way uh i've noticed that kelly seems to be smoking more than ever i have concerns about that he has to stop smoking because it's not attractive yeah i like in that new well it's not new anyway but that tina fey movie that just came out where she's part of a big family and the dad dies and they all have to go home it's with james fonda yeah um her brother lights up a cigarette and she takes it out of his mouth and throws it out the window and she's like it's 2014 exactly exactly yeah kelly's like he's way too attracted to be smelling cigarettes.

He's going to age his face and that's no good. Yeah. I have a lot of concerns about Kelly. You know, I want to make sure he's, he's exploiting his hotness to the full degree. Yeah. He's making as much income as he possibly can from that hotness for as long as possible. Yeah. So which, which do you think of these, um, of these people who do you think is going to come back next season? Cause, cause some of them were holdovers from last season. I don't think Kat's going to come back because she wasn't as crazy this time around. But I think she'll come back. I think Kate will be back.

I think they'll bring back Kat, the chef, Kate, and Alex P. Keaton. Yeah, but Alex P. Keaton – I mean everyone likes Alex P. Keaton guy. But he – Eddie – but he's not really that interesting. He didn't add much. I don't think Janice will be bad. Well, he's not interesting, but he's the guy who's like, well, we've got to stay on track. We've got to do our job. There's details, details.

Suddenly he's Shannon Bedore. Like, David, David, we've got to get the slide out. David. It's just that naggy – like the only one who's pretending like he actually had a job. When they were showing that part where they were saying goodbye to the guests, I was like, come on, stand up straight. I mean, Jesus Christ. They're like leaning on the railing. It was just very lazy looking.

Yeah. It's like, come on, stand up straight and act like professionals. You fucking. It's like, bye. Have fun. Thanks for coming. Thanks for that they're just like, bye, have fun. Thanks for coming. Thanks for that 16 grand you just gave us. I know.

I think that Eddie will not be back. I think that Kat will not be back. But I think that Kate will be back. Eddie is Alex B. Keaton. Oh, okay. I think that Kate will be back because I love Kate. She's such a bitch, but I love her. She will be back.

Ben will be back. Kelly might come back because he such a bitch but i love her she will be back ben will be back kelly might come back because he's hot and i think that's it no recast everybody else yeah i mean you can always find a busybody you know guy bosun who wants to like get order you know have order um uh also by the way how about that dance party they threw? It was like for basically like a seventh grade dance. They like hung up like random jungle decorations. And they hung a bear by his neck. And then they put like whiskers on there. Is that allowed on Bravo?

There's kind of a history there. Too soon. You just can't be stringing up bears and pretending like nothing ever happened okay yeah yeah it's funny because taylor armstrong just has something on bravo right now that's like life after russell um she doesn't what is it yeah i just i just saw it right now when i was looking at the the euros of hollywood um cast you're on a show or what no it's just like a blog entry oh okay it's like it's like this is what it's like without russell oh please don't even get me started on that woman here it's it's

literally the top story i said don't get me started four hours ago she says i don't know if you ever move on from suicide but nevertheless i've moved on she doesn't say that but yeah you know i mean she has um yeah it was really hard for you to move on you were fucking the lawyer in the case that began before you're she's like died so she's like she says for my daughter's sake i can't dwell on the past i have to look to the future and i and i do bring up her father we work with a child psychologist it's not as though we pretend someone disappeared in her life yes good job not dwelling in the past as you give an interview about it to bravo yeah to get a little publicity that you no longer have shut up taylor

go away taylor zip yourself up in that suitcase and go through checkout okay no i am very much of the don't go away taylor, because I think she's kooky. And I think I would like to see her on Below Deck. I'd like to see her do a charter. I would like to see her locked Below Deck. She would be crying. Yeah, let's see her be a stew. So,

Below Deck was a really fun show to watch, but I don't have much to say about it. Yeah, I didn't have much to say about this episode. I really enjoyed it. And you know what I also enjoyed in a weird way i enjoyed the whole goodbye segment because it's been so long since i've seen like a reality show where people say goodbye at the end because i don't watch the real world anymore and i don't you know i haven't you know jersey shore is gone so uh it's sort of fun sometimes to watch those shows where at the end of

the season everyone says goodbye and you're like what will happen to their lives they're moving on and what did amy say she's like being on a ship is like being in a can of tuna it ends and sometimes you get to the end and it tastes metallic it's like what doesn't even make any sense oh that's great what did she say though it was like i don't remember i was on a boat it's like and the other guy was like the new guy i was like oh i was just getting into the swing of things and now it's over i feel like it's been cut short i'm like be quiet yeah because he's the one who every time they cut to him he's got a toothpick in his mouth like a cigarette which i hate that's like i hate when people do that it just drives me nuts like it's not a real cigarette stop trying to act like you're cool with a toothpick in your mouth just spit it out you former fatty oh that guy yeah lucas or something yeah that guy's cute he's cute he is he's he's really nice actually he can suck a

toothpick i'm fine with that yeah um okay so bye bye bye to that show. Bye, Below Deck. Well, they have a reunion next week, right? Next week they have a Secrets Revealed. So I don't know. I mean, I'm assuming they're going to have a reunion after that. It's weird that they didn't promote that, a reunion. Yeah, this is a weird time in Bravo because it's like the worst season of Jersey ever. Below Deck, which was good, but you don't have a lot to talk about with that show. Yeah, except for last week.

And by the way, you made me eat crow, as they say, because I was like, I don't think that guy's a douchebag. I really don't think he's a douchebag. And then what did he do? He went on to your site. He went on to your site, and he was a huge douchebag. He had a fucking cow. So he goes on to Trash talk tv to the recap there the recap of the show is really funny she's a good writer so she's ripping him apart of course and he goes on there and starts defending himself in the comments and that the comment

thread got up to like 150 or whatever comments on below deck which is unheard of wow because he just wouldn't let it go and he's calling everybody poor and stupid and he's like well i'm rich and that's why i'm rich and then so people started posting links about how he's a fraud and um everybody knows he's a fraud and he's been sued for it and i love it was really fun to watch because he'll still come on if you post something he'll still come on and be like, nope, but I'm rich and you're poor. Well, I take it all back. Everyone, I was wrong.

And unlike other, unlike not other, but unlike most reality stars, I can admit that I was wrong. And it won't be a whole drawn out thing. I apologize to the listeners for giving this guy. Well, some people were on your side, well your side from last week and they were like well they did act completely immature or whatever and his arguments weren't really saying i'd uh talked to the crew and and tried to make sure there was strong internet because i knew i couldn't go on a boat without internet you know i specifically asked for foods that they ignored like all that stuff was um true it's just he's such a douche but it doesn't make him less of a douchebag you know like the crew

being wrong doesn't make him less of a douchebag right so fuck that guy fuck you dude all right fuck him um by the way there's something else we didn't we didn't mention last week that we actually have to mention which is that uh we have to give a shout out to XOT Shoes. This has nothing to do with Bravo. But we have to give a shout out because XOTShoes.com sent us some shoes. And we can't just accept shoes and not, you know, say that, not give them props

because... Oh yeah, thanks you guys. So, this is a random, a random, I guess, semi-commercial sponsor, whatever moment, just product placement. Thanks, XOTShoes.com. They gave us free shoes, so go check them sponsor, whatever moment, just product placement. Thanks. XOTshoes.com. They give us free shoes, so go check them out, everyone. Go send them some business.

Anybody who wants to send us things, please, just feel free to do that. Yeah. We love things. Yeah. We love things, like fancy new shoes. So anyway, that was that. XOTshoes.com. Okay, so the other show that we have real quick to talk about is top chef oh yeah top chef is back in boston it's a wicked good season so far everything everything in top chef

was it's sudden death i know you know top chef is continuing this tradition that's popped up on a lot of reality shows where it's like before the before the season even begins one of you will be eliminated i'm like i hate when people do when when shows do that because i'm like you know it's like it's like not fair it's not fair to them it's not fair to us i kind of did like that it was a mike isabella friend that's what i did like i did like that and i did like that this person before they were eliminated they they did they were put through the paces a little bit it wasn't like an arbitrary thing like amazing race when they do those things we're like one of you will be eliminated before the race even begins it's like the last person

to find a clue suddenly isn't allowed to do the race that's so stupid yeah so um yeah i did like that you know at first everybody's very well behaved i will say i feel like gail's fucking with me at this point because she showed up in another terrible floral dress why gail why why has been telling you for what 10 years now 11 years what season is this uh like 45 yeah gail i mean you're so cute what's with the flower what what are you doing why are you doing that stop it it's not better homes and gardens okay lucille ball is dead accept it move on i love gail poor gail poor gail poor gail i love um i have to say padma was like a little ornery this episode and i liked it oh yeah padma's a bitch from hell i like i think that padma's probably always a bitch from hell yeah i don't understand why everybody's so surprised that's what i've heard i've heard she's a bitch from hell and i

think i've told the story on this show before that i did meet her once when i was doing a red carpet event and there's like the one of the two times i did red red carpet i saw her she looked absolutely stunning and she was so warm and wonderful and she answered my question like a pro so i was like i love padma but every single other person who's had to deal with her on a professional level does not have great things to say well i mean i like that she's a total bitch because those chefs are total bitches too they're all such douchebags it's like shocker a chef is a douchebag there are such diva douchebags who've all been to prison so i don't know what that's about i liked when she like went up to that one guy and she was she really like it was at the event during the elimination challenge

and she was like well she's like i hope that you not only clean up your act but your station too and it just walked away i was like whoa padma and then she kept talking about him she's like i mean that was messy messy mess mess of messy mess mess mess wow and she was obnoxious to someone during the quick fire too i think or i don't know she she said something i was like wow she is really she is not happy right now oh i like this one because they got a lot of really good chefs who've worked for big people so everybody they look to introduce yourself i love how padma always talks like this she's's like, tell us a little bit about yourself. And he's like, well, I've worked for

Chef Boyardee, and I've worked for Ling Cuisine and Marie Callender. And she's like, wow, you've worked under a lot of big people. I understand what that feels like. You know, it's like, Jesus. She's like, I literally work under Tom Cliccio, and he's a very big man.

I've literally worked under some of the biggest publishing giants, television reality stars, movie producers. My ex-husband had a patois out on him, which was a very big responsibility for me. What was I going to say? So what did you think about the fact that they didn't have the chefs sit in the stew room? They brought them in to watch the deliberations. I hope that doesn't last because the stew room is great. I agree. They get them shit-faced back there.

They just give them boxes of wine and then they tape those segments for like eight hours. Yeah. Those are like a whole separate day that you know we learned that those are taped in and so they get shit-faced over the course of the day and that's when they really act like idiots and make fools of themselves and that's what's fun i mean you know it's a show that it's fun to watch because it's a show about skill right so it's not just stupid drama it's actually about people who are trying to do something with their lives but you know it is reality tv so it is fun to see people make asses of themselves It's not just stupid drama. It's actually about people who are trying to do something with their lives. But, you know, it is reality TV, so it is fun to see people make asses of themselves.

Right. Yeah. I like the stew room. I like the stew room, too. I hope they don't force them to be stuck in there. I liked it last season when they got to watch some of the judging, right? And then they would, like, talk about it. Oh, yeah, they had the TVs. Yeah, I like that.

That was a good touch. I didn't like this new twist. Oh yeah they had the TVs. Yeah I like that. That was a good touch. I didn't like this. This new. This new twist. Hopefully it won't be permanent. Oh and how do you feel about Richard Blaze being a judge? Well I hate Blaze. Yeah.

I've always hated him since his first season. And when he's telling this girl. Olive oil. Olive oil snow is one of his least favorite techniques. That guy uses fucking anti-freeze and everything or whatever it's called. What do you call it? Liquid ice or whatever it is. But then suddenly someone else does it

and he's like, oh, how passe. That was so my season. Shut up. Just shut up, please. His first season, I hated him. His second season, I actually grew to like him. Now, I like that he got rid of his faux hawk. His hair looks much better.

But there is like a little cockiness that's going on that I'm not liking. There's a little bit of that. It's like the college kid who comes back to high school and is like, oh my god, college is amazing. You know? I don't hate him, but he's rubbing me the wrong way. I much prefer Emeril. I mean, I like him more than Hugh Atchison. Because Hugh Atchison was like... Oh, I thought...

I like Hugh too. No, I thought that Hugh Atchison was kind of an asshole. I thought he was like... Now, here's the thing. Hugh is an asshole. And he's extremely douchey. But he's just like a cad. You know, he's like charming. Yeah, he's the thing. Hugh is an asshole, and he's extremely douchey, but he's just like a cad. You know, he's like charming.

Yeah, he is a cad, but the thing is this. That's what's annoying about him is that he's like funny, and he's a cad or whatever. But deep down, he's actually a huge asshole. He's not one of those assholes that you know is an asshole, and therefore it's sort of like awesome that he's an asshole. He's just someone who sort of gives off this appearance that he's like really funny but he's actually a sarcastic asshole so i like him because i think he's just charmingly funny and not not a total ass i mean he is an asshole but i don't know i accept that chefs are going to be assholes in general but i don't know he's got a certain charm and i also like that he gave our site credit for inventing the term unibrow because that recapper did alejandra and he like did you know he gave well site credit for inventing the term Huna Brow because that recapper did, Alejandra.

And he like did. He gave our site credit. So I was like, you're a good man. So maybe that's why. I'll give him credit. Listen, he's not the worst. I just find that sometimes he's like a real asshole. And he was good natured. Like he would tweet back to the recaps because she would rag on him bad. And he would tweet back and stuff.

Okay, that gives me more respect. He seems to be good natured is what I'm trying to say. That gives me more respect for him. And I do like, I do think that his criticisms of the food are, like, I have no problems with that. And I think that's good. Whereas Richard Blaze is, like, a little again, like, he's a little too young for

this, I feel. Blaze, I feel, like, his first season, he was a total douche. His second season, he was just in repair mode, so he was pretending to be nice. And then his third season, he was a total douche. His second season, he was just in repair mode. So he was pretending to be nice. And then his third season, he was a total douche again. Yeah. And it was hard to watch him. I mean, when you're out douching Marcel, I mean, Marcel was actually the nice one.

And he was like, oh, Marcel's an idiot. That guy can't do anything. If he beats me, I'm a real loser. You know, like he was just mean and i don't i don't like him yeah don't like him and either way he goes the way of that other guest judge they brought on or not guest but that other judge they brought on years ago who wrote toby young toby young how to toby young was awful alienate people toby young was the worst that they've had by far but people must love blaze because he's all over the place.

He's all over Food Network. He's all over this. I mean, he's got a good agent, that's for sure. Yeah, absolutely. No, I think people do like him. I think that when he won Top Chef All-Stars, he had a very endearing run. And people liked it because he was always so nervous and he never thought he was going to win anything.

So, you know, probably. But it's okay. By the way, I just want to say, I just went on to my list of the best Real Housewives thing and people are voting because I put it on our Facebook page, facebook.com forward slash watch what happens. And so now everything has changed. Remember I said before that

Danielle Staub was at the bottom and everything? Danielle Staub has now risen to number 24 out of 31. And Tamara Barney is now officially at the bottom. And she's followed by Caroline Manzo, which I think is sort of hilarious. Well, then how do you explain that whole thing? When they just had the Best Housewives real vote. Yeah.

And Caroline Manzo was number two. Well, first of all, you've got to think that – And that was like a nationwide vote. First of all, it's different pools of people. So if you think about it, E is going to go – first of all, it pulls from a larger sample, but it also pulls from people who watch E. And I'm not saying that those people aren't reading this thing, but if I just sent this out to our listeners, it's mainly our listeners who've been voting right now, that our listeners may have different opinions than like the, you know, the prevailing majority of the country. And by that, I mean, more informed and better opinions. But it's just a different sample pool. Hopefully,

it will get out and then we'll see like the larger larger masses it will be fun to see how this changes. But it's cool to see how since we started this podcast, there were like 20 votes cast and now there are 1,500 votes. Which is, by the way, shows how impressive our Facebook page is. That's really cool. Thanks, everyone. 1,500 votes in an hour. Since we're about to wrap up I'm looking at our page And there is so much here

That we still haven't Talked about It's so frustrating But I want to mention some of this stuff Please talk about the Dubros leaving OC Did not know that Bethany returning We talked about that

The Brooks scandal That he has cancer or is there another scandal there's like a brooks scandal every week it's like brooks ate a pancake um oh no and then michael cook tweeted that the entire cast of new jersey is being brought back for next season they all got signed michael cook you've just ruined my day but he but michael cook enough to watch next season that we can just skip that show entirely but michael cook also made my day because he said that made in chelsea he sent along a link that made in chelsea which is like sort of like the british version of the hills is coming to bravo

called made in chelsea new york i believe i've actually never seen the original made in chelsea but my friends are obsessed with it and i've been wanting to watch it and i keep telling them let's all sit down and watch like a marathon of it and drink wine they're like yes let's do it and then they'll be like oh sorry ben we watched all the episodes yesterday you know i'll watch it with you i will do that with you maybe we can picture and picture grand theft auto in one tv in one picture oh yeah and play that while we're watching maiden chelsea oh my god everyone um i showed ronnie Theft Auto like last week or two weeks ago, and it was so fun. Oh yeah, I know Grand Theft Auto,

but I don't know 5. I'm sorry, Grand Theft Auto 5. You were great, Ronnie. You did a great job. It was amazing to beat the crap out of people randomly. Yeah. Commit crimes. Yeah.

Oh man, I forgot how empowering that game was. You did a great job. Oh man. You were how empowering that game was. You did a great job. Oh, man. You were killing people like none other. Running them over, crashing your car. Yeah, that's the way to live, man. It is. And you completed a mission.

You played as Chop the dog. I sure did. That was a fun one. I got to fuck another dog even. Yes. That was really cool. So that's it. We're basically going to be shooting people on the internet all week. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for

listening. We'll be back next week. There is no Jersey reunion. There's like a secrets reveal. There's like some secrets bullshit. So if there's something that you want us to watch, why don't you just come on our Facebook page and tell us and maybe we can try something new for next week

because we're going to be low on show, that's for sure. Yeah, low on show. So just suggest stuff that you want us to talk about and we'll have a special episode next week where we can just talk about shit. Yeah, it'll be fun. Come find us on Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens if you want to become a premium subscriber and get a bunch of extras like ringtones

and bonus episodes and Google Hangouts stuff, parties, come to patreon.com. Thank you to everybody who's supporting us. And for all of our social media links, just come or the Patreon link or whatever you need, any information, just come to watchwhatcrappens.com. Okay? Sounds great. Bye. Bye. Thanks. information just come to watch what crappens adult a calm okay mm-hmm sounds great buddy um bye bye have a great week if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new youtube channel called Wait For It.

It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny.

And I love you. On Monday, Josh Leibarger made his status Case of the Mondays followed by a frowny face. It got one like and five comments, including dislike. Well, Josh, Geico also wants to make a comment to turn that emoji's frown upside down. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars

on your car insurance by switching to Geico. With all that extra dough, why not give Monday a makeover? We see an office party in your future, hosted by you. Hashtag happy face. Hashtag savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts.

Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.