Watch What Crappens - #1500 Shahs: Facepalm Springs

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

We're celebrating our **1500th** episode by recapping Shahs of Sunset, and while our podcast pales next to a THIRTY YEAR FRIENDSHIP, in many ways, it feels like that's how long we've been doing this. And we still love it! Thanks to everyone who has supported the show — whether it was from episode one or starting today. We love you as much as Mike loves telling lies!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's what happens

Who's what happens Who's what happens Watch what happens Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who's what happens Who's what happens Who cares what happens I'm being mandalker also also of the game brain podcast and apparently I have a frog in my throat right now I'm very of a clump right now because joining me as always is the wonderful Ronnie Karam. Hey Ronnie. What's going on? Well, hi Ben happy anniversary

Happy anniversary. That's why I'm for clumped. This is our 1500 episode. Can you believe it? Can you? Yeah. I mean, you learned something new about somebody every day in a good marriage. You know, like today I was on Instagram and I saw a game brain podcast, which is the other podcast that you, you know, it's our polyamory podcast relationship. We're been to the slew, so the other podcasts. Yes. And I saw that you were called the opinionated gamer or gamer. Okay. that's a whole new spin on Ben for me on our 1500th anniversary day. So happy, Amy, honey. Thanks.

Yeah, I'm the opinionated board gamer, which I think is funny, because I feel like we're all opinionated on that podcast. But I guess I'm just a little bit more opinionated, I guess. Who would have thought? Who the fuck have they? Who's that the way of calling you gay on the... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Lighten his loafers of pinninated board gamer Ben John Matt. Uh, he's never had a girlfriend board gamer. I wonder. Oh, Ben, what a 1500 episodes it's been.

So thank you to everybody who's been with us for one episode or 1500. We know you're out there. Thank you for being here with us and giving us this life because I fucking love this, okay? I'd love this, okay? Yeah, I'd love just waking up and being able to talk bullshit about the shots. That was my day. Today I was like, you know, it's a very special day. Maybe I'll start exercising again So I watched my shots took my notes and I went out to exercise in the in the outside, which was horrifying I haven't done this in so long. I've gained so much weight blah blah blah

So I'm like you're just gonna do it no matter what. So it's just place, it's humongous, there's like this huge trail going around this huge park. Well, this poor older woman was in front of me, okay? Like probably a block ahead of me and I was like, I'm not gonna be able to beat this old woman, okay, because my legs didn't know what they were doing. Like, it's like I've never walked, okay, that's what it felt like.

I was like a the baby elephant I talked about last week. So I start down two minutes into it. I'm like, oh, of course, you know, I'm, because I vape too, which doesn't help. So I'm like walking down like, I prevent allating, I'm purple, okay, which I saw later.

My hands, everything in my body was purple and like too big because I haven't exercised in so long. And I'm sitting now, I'm like, oh my God, I am going to catch up to this old woman. She's going to be horrified and sure enough, you know, like a few faces behind her. This is what you hear coming up behind you. coming up behind you. My feet just scuffling, my gigantic feet scuffling amongst, oh, along the sidewalk, because I didn't lock. This lady finally just stopped and moved over and she went, you're doing great, honey. She did. And you were just locking, right? Yes, but I mean, I really did sound like a truck spinning out of control on eyes I'm sure it's what I sounded like that was so that's more than five

That was enough. You're doing great honey, and she's probably a very hateful person too You know, but that was like that nice southern that southern that southern politeness Hey, Tray disguised as charm. Yeah, she probably was like, you're doing great. You opinionated board game and little. He's an opinionated board gamer if you know what I'm saying. Whatever happens, neighborhood, it used to be for family values.

And now we got quote unquote opinionated board gamers. Well, that's really exciting, Ronnie. I'm really glad. I'm really happy that you're doing that. I do have been on a little fitness journey because, you know, we're on different fitness journeys, but that's okay because we all respect each other's fitness journeys. And I've been, as everyone knows, I've been Pelotonin away. I'm actually going to be writing another article for the dip. So that will be coming soon. But I was also thinking about doing another crap and ride soon. And I'm going to try to do it with one of the live, like a live Peloton ride, and maybe we'll get like a shout out from whoever it is. I don't know. I little live not looked at the schedule, but if you're interested in that,

just make sure you're following us on Instagram, and I'll put the information up there, et cetera, for the live ride. And also, before we dive into our Shaza Sunset recap, I mean, how better to celebrate 50-100 episodes than having the Shaza Sunset be our... Could have been Rooney, it could have been so many things, but it's Shaza Sunset. I have to say...

Awful people over eating. I mean, it really is kind of fitting. It's us. Yeah, the reverse peloton. So the craziest thing happened this morning. You know, one of the things I've used about over the past 1500 episodes is I've often, to Ronnie's total annoyance, been like, I wonder if famous people listen to our podcast, right?

I'll, I'll, I, my, usually my high water mark is Julia Roberts. I'm like, I wonder if Julia Roberts listens every now and then. And then this morning we found out if famous person does listen to the podcast. None other, and this is not what I ever would have expected, but we got a really, really nice shout out from Bill Burr.

Of all people, Bill Burr on his podcast I never would have thought like like a like a super straight dude But here we are. So thanks for that shout out Bill. Yeah, thank you. What a way to start 1500 He is to the next 15 then his fingers crossed for Kate Winslet Maravista I know well actually now that bill Burr has given us a shout out That means that we are Laura Durn adjacent. You realize that because Laura Durn was one of the voices on F is for family, which is his cartoon on

Netflix. So I'm just saying as goes Bill Burris, so goes Lord, everyone. Hey, Laura. Lord, Sandra Bullock minus, I'm just convinced that Sandra Bullock is listen to every episode She's sitting there right now like some giant ass Range Rover like guys. You're talking about me again You are so funny. I'm never saying hi to you Yeah, she's like hey remember when we're in like for like knit forces of nature or whatever that movie was Well, I've got something else to tell you. They're talking about me. Got on crap ends. Yeah.

Okay. Bye, Ben. I don't know why. Okay. Everybody. Let's get to this show. Mount. Shows the sunset.

I think I felt like I had to exercise after watching these people grow the grocery store. I mean, it is very, it does feel good to watch people just go by $1,700 worth of groceries, doesn't it? Yeah. It was a great, I felt one of the things that we've been lacking on top chef this season has been the grocery store run and I felt like we made up for it all in one episode of Shaza Sunset.

Just terrorizing some supermarket in the greater pump and Rancho wherever it was. Yeah, that was a big grocery store haul. I wasn't mad at it though. I actually, one of my favorite things to do when you go on vacation, if you go to some place like Palm Springs and you rent an Airbnb with friends, I love the ritual of going to the grocery store and picking out what you're going to have and what you're going to make with all your friends. But in this case, they really were just like, what are we gonna make for all of us?

And also, if there's a nuclear bomb that goes off and we have to see here for five months. No kidding. It also kind of makes you wonder what the fuck is going on in Palm Springs that they don't have any kind of flatbread? Really Palm Springs? Come on Palm Springs.

Maybe, yeah, that was surprising. I wonder if maybe the person who worked at the store didn't know, like, new, like, La Voshbred, but didn't know what La Vosh was. If that makes any sense, like, you never know. La Voshla, Maasel. Well, maybe it was, like, maybe they, yeah, maybe they had, like, non or something. And they're like, what are you talking about, which isn't the same, but at least it's flat. You know, they could have had something flat.

I mean, they'd just pick up a giant hollow bread and be like, oh, this will do. No, it won't do, Destiny. Who the fuck are you? You're the one even speaking in Farsi all the time. You don't just substitute lavash with, I'm too mad about it. I'm too mad about the carbs.

Let's move on. Let's put a pin in that because we will probably be discussing this all over again when we get to the supermarket segment. Yeah. Just put a P in that and move on Yeah. Just put a P in that move on. Let's put a cucumber in that. So the episode, this is, they are, they're all going to Palm Springs. Also, I just want to say I really enjoyed this episode. I feel like Shaz is really so

far to episodes in. I'm really loving it this season. So, so Neema is driving in his like fancy new sports car and he's got Mike, he's got Mike in his fancy new sports car and he's got Mike in the car. I guess he's driving Mike to his car somewhere. And of course, Mike brought Thai food into Nima's fancy new car, so Nima's pissed and he's like spraying air freshener and he sprays Mike's food.

And Mike gets so mad. He's like, hey bro, hey bro, you can't spray my fucking food, bro. Bro, what are you doing? That's my fucking food. That's my Thai food, bro. Bro, what are you doing? That's my fucking food. No, that's my time. Yeah, but it's it's on the on smell. So you're going to eat Thai food in my car, but I think your Thai food is going to be

on the on the on the bro. And he's like, we're two dudes in a car. What the fuck on the on's? Come on. Yeah. And then he was like, would you like a tide stick? Oh, yeah, we did the branding on tide sticks. Actually, that's a great, a great, a great way to take care of stains that way you can present better when you're going to be, uh, going to be, uh, doing brands, just brand, conclusion brands brands. Yeah. That tried stick. My friend carries one of those around with me. And guess what? I need it just like Mike

because immediately Mike spills something on his boob, you know, I don't like feeling so close to Mike Yeah, I think this episode bothered me because I was like wow So far I've got to stay on my boob too, which will actually show you in the bonus episode because I've still got it on didn't even change my shirt Um, so Mima. Yeah, give us a minute ties ties stick and Mike immediately spills and Mike's like you know what? You better be careful because Parina is going to fucking kill you if anything happens to me. He's like, well, well, listen I got a really drunk call from MJ and look all I got from her bro. All I got from her dude dude bro man bro dude Bro

Bro bro bro bro bro like he's saying bro and man so much I wouldn't be surprised if like gay porn popped up on like the little viewfinder thing in his car Like you're overcompensating calm down with the dude bro, okay? Well, I'm a very opinionated boardgamer so bro He yeah, he's talking about this date popped off. I just want to also mention you mentioned the bonus episode We are for our bonus this week We are going to be doing real housewives of Potomac trailer breakdown. Another gift for us on our 1500 episodes. So just just putting that out because we forgot to mention that. But bro,

bro, okay, bro, we're driving. So so Mike is like, yeah, you know what? Someone is trying to conspire against me. Okay. Someone's trying to conspire against me. Now Mike is basically, basically QAnon has moved on towards another conspiracy and it's the Micah-non. Shuhadenon. Shuhadenon, the conspiracy. Okay, QAnon didn't really work out. Let's focus on Mike's shoe head instead.

Yeah, Mike's shoe head, a non, like shoe head, a non. She had a non. So, bro, are you saying that someone photoshopped your name into these messages? He's like, dude, I don't even know what the messages look like. Okay. Like, I don't even know what messages are. You know what I mean? I was like, go check the mail then. Go outside and check the mail right now in the rain. And she's like, no, it's on the phone. I'm like, what? You can give messages on your phone? This is nuts, bro. This is crazy.

This is crazy. No wonder why they can track everything, you know what, bro? And look at this, it's not even iPhone, okay, bro. I don't have an iPhone. This is not even iPhone. What the hell is this? What is this? Is this like an alien app?

Like, who's happening? What's happening into my brain, you know? And he's like, what's that? Let's call it what's that. What's that? It's part of the Facebook family of applications of applications Mike one of the largest brands in California He's I don't even have what's up like what's up with that what's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? I'm telling you what's up. No, it's an app the app. What's up?

What's up for what I'm good. Why are you doing this stop conspiring against me stop conspiring against my not Android phone Mike it's called what's up? I'm good. I'm just driving in the car with you. What's up with you Mike? What's app? I don't know why you asked me that those are bad for you. Okay. Are you trying to make me feel bad about staying in my shirt? Is that what you're trying to do? Neema? Hmm. So it's like come on bro You have the aptude bro man bro dude bro, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do been on that chat. I think it's whoever has like broken into my phone. He's like joined the chat and he's impersonating me. And luckily, we both speak the same two languages and have this and he knows very much about my childhood. So like, that's all, but I have never

seen this application before my life. Never. Yeah. He's so Neema shows us the conversation to prove that Mike does in fact have WhatsApp and uses it all the time. Neema says, bro, I saw those messages, my dude, they were terrible dude. And he's like, no, you know what? I don't think they were that bad. Oh, okay. So now someone is conspiring against you

like in a very low key mediocre. It's like a lukewarm conspiracy. Yeah. I did write those messages and as on a platform, you don't know about, but given that, they're still not that bad. They're still not that bad, those messages. Yeah, it's just like sweet conspirators.

Like, let's, you know what, I want to scare JFK, but let's not shoot him. You know what, just have someone sit on the grassy knoll and just like have a picnic without a blanket. So we have like, some like, do we have water balloons in Dallas that we can throw JFK instead?

Just want to get a little scared out of Jackie, okay? I want a very lukewarm conspiracy. Yeah, or it's more like, like Lee Harvey Oswald, shot JFK, but the conspiracy round it wasn't because it was because of the mafia. It was just a lovely conspiracy. Like he shot JFK, but he did it because he was raising money

to buy kittens. Yeah, Luke Warren, something Luke Warren. So Neema's like, well Mike knows how horrible these are, you know, like, I mean, look at this. Can you send me a pick so I can finish? And then she says, finish what? And he says, calm with one two three one.

Destiny get down. Alright, this is my scene. More by 11 M's on the end of calm. Okay, bro. So, Nima tells him, listen, dude, bro, man, I'm keeping it real with you. Okay, that person messages the way you message okay you have a very distinct brand and they are following the bullet points okay and Michael's you know what I'm telling you my boy I didn't do it

okay and you should be like your dog I didn't do it like you like how the fuck don't you believe me when I'm telling you I didn't do this shit bro like you should be like you're supposed to be my bro bro. And like man and dude should be like do this man is like totally dude free man. So like what's the problem, bro? Look, if you say that you're not you're not in those messages, it's not you. Then I believe you know what? I just want a fun weekend, bro.

And he's like, bro, dude, I'm going to, am I going to be sabotaged and kicked in the face? And he's like, well, I'm gonna, am I gonna be sabotaged and kicked in the face? He's like, well isn't Paulina coming? He's like okay, someone is undermining your shit than Paulina, like can step in for you okay, because she's got your back. She has his back, she's the one who sent those messages to everybody in the group. It's a very large fact to have. And she shouldn't have his back, yeah, she should not have his back. No, she shouldn't have his back. Yeah, she should not have his back. No, she shouldn't have his back.

And Mike, Mike is such an idiot. Here we are, season nine, still asking if going on a trip that's supposed to be a birthday party for him thrown by a reza, if you will get thrown under the bus. The answer is yes. That's what reza does. Oh yes, I'm going to throw a trip for you, Mike. And then you can come and we're all gonna celebrate you. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Come, Mike. Come.

I put some cheese out. Yes. So then MJ shows up at somebody news house. And I like this new person because she doesn't even bother with like, look how rich I am. She's like, oh, it's my mom's house. Do you want to complete tennis at my mom's? Yeah, exactly. Like MJ rolls up to this house on the outside.

It would look so huge. And it was like, oh, I was like, oh, this is a fancy mansion. And then they go inside. Like the decor is from like 1991. Like big bar, like one of those big letter barcalaunder sofas, you know, and she's like, yeah, it's my mom's. Yeah. So this is London, new friend of lesbian,

lesbian friend of which I'm happy about. I'm like, finally, I feel like, I'm like, I don't want to generalize, but I also feel like I'm really excited to have a lesbian on this show. What do you mean generalize? Well, because not, lesbians are not all monolith. Like, no, it's not like, because not lesbians are not all monolith.

Like, no, it's not like all the lesbians are the same as, you know, but like that given that, like I just, I'm really excited to see what she's going to bring. I'm glad to have every lesbian on this show. I'm glad every single lesbian that was ever born lesbian is. Oh, so speaking of friend of gay guys or friends of Dorothy, what are lesbians friends of? Or do they not do that? They just like we don't need to keep saying We're lesbian. Okay, we'll need to learn more That's what makes it to the gaze

But yeah, I don't I don't I feel like there probably isn't expression, but I'm just not up on it And I feel like I need to make one up. I'm just not up on it and I feel like I'm You make one up. I'll probably just sound even worse than I already sound talking about the subject Yeah, then you're getting trouble with all the lesbians The lesbians will be a monolith and they'll be like We actually are very monolith and we're furious at you right now Sometimes I see the wrong things. Hi.

Okay, sorry. Thank you for explaining to me that non-condistening manner, Kai. So MJ says that she stalks London on the gram and then slid into radiums to compliment her on her amazing videos of her grandmother. So London makes these videos where she's got this really old, you know, grandma, what is she gonna have?

16 year old grandmother. I mean, a class, she's old. Classic grandma. Yeah, classic. Classic aged grandma. And she's very Hannah Burner's grandma from Summer House. She's just like all sex jokes and stuff, you know? So she's like grandma, you can have sex for eight minutes straight.

And she's like, oh yes, eight minutes. I have so much that what about that guy who said fuck you to you And then you said can you she goes oh yes, I said that yeah Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter, or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So MJ feels like they were magnetically drawn together and so the two of them are they're just like hanging out at London's house looking at videos with shams and MJ is talking about how intimacy has been really hard after the baby, et cetera. And London says, well, you know, romance is an art and not everyone's an artist. I'm like, I don't even know how I would describe this sort of art that this show was produced for us on the romance department. Yeah. Romance isn't an art. Not everyone's an artist. You know, they're brick layers. It's like, what else are you going to put in

there? You know, there's like subway sound which makers. There's all different kinds of people with sex. You know, swap the ham on a couple of pepper and cheese. Yeah, if romance isn't art, I would say this show has given us a lot of, um, I don't know. Some finger. This is some finger painting bullshit. Finger, like a corporate finger painting. Just like, like assembled clip art, maybe I don't know. Emotions. So London is perfect.

MJ says because she's a love coach and a life coach and a person and a lesbian. She's got everything going on. This lady, she does. She does. You know, which is a name that like you can't fuck around with the name like London because people really expect a lot of you. So I call my friend London like you can't be boring named London, right? You have to have something going on. and you can't be trashy either

Because like all of Britain is looking at you and being like how could you be called London and be trashy in the name of the Queen So I don't know I watch every like old-timey show on Metflix it takes place where they're like I'm a streeter Chin but I've also got witsy powers Yeah, I know. As I was saying it, I just was having visions of love Island UK. And I was like, oh, no. Oh, no. You watch trash shows.

I watch HBO acclaim shows like the Nevers. The Nevers. I bet. Yeah, I've seen a lot of stuff about the Nevers. Looks like a great show. So anyway, so now the two of them, London and MJ go down to play, yet another, it's yet another terrible tennis game on Bravo.

This is Loki, a thing that's been going on Bravo for about 10 years. The old montage of balls being lobbed softly and no one being able to hit them back for 30 seconds. Yeah, they really make tennis look like the most difficult sport ever, ever invented. No one seems to know how to play it, including London, whose court it is. So they both suck.

And MJ is like, well, of course, I was a pro tennis player. Like, I'm one of those people who knows Wimbledon is spelled with a D. Well, okay, so that's one out of one, two, three, four, five. Yeah, one of the letters so far. By the way, I do have to say, as much as people hate Hannah right now, at least Hannah and Luke gave us the one functioning tennis game that we've ever seen on Bravo. So we have to, let's give some tennis credit over there for a moment, shall we? Oh, well, that's true.

And then they stopped showing it. And then they stopped showing the tennis. So yeah, the elections are right. You guys are too competent at tennis for Bravo. Okay, we're going to have to move that to the back burner. And now you hate each other. Roll with that. Roll with that.

Exactly. Well, they scored points, which meant that there was no more love. So now, um, Reza and Adam are parking, a car somewhere, and they, of course, their relationship has just hollowed out, and there's nothing to talk about or do. So this, their conversation is now, uh, things like this. Wow. Look at that hill. Daddy, look at that hill. Daddy, look at the hill, daddy.

Why is he calling him daddy? I'm not okay with that. Or is it daddy? Is it calling him daddy? Because he has like, like, Adam now has like a giant beard. He looks like an artisanal buttermaker in Brooklyn right now. Who does?

I think, Riza, Riza's just asking for Addy so he can make it through a scene with Adam. My God, Adam really looks like he needs to be dipped. He needs to be dipped? Yeah, like once a summer you take your dog to get dipped so they don't have fleas, like he looks flea-ridden. Yeah, I didn't know that terminology. Yes, definitely, like he needs some advancex

going on in the back of his neck. He goes, get to the front, get ye to the front, mine front mine sir. So he's like well that's what we're claiming. That's what we're gonna climb my love. Look what I got us sticks. They didn't even have any good you to match your outfit. Sorry, but we've got regular walking sticks to walk up the side of the freeway. No, I'm like you're not climbing Killimmin' Jaro, you're literally climbing a hill. And Russ is like, ooh, is this a pimp stick? Pimp's be like, let's go up the hill. You know what I'm saying?

Because like when I go driving, I'd be like driving so fast and then I look at other cars and they'd be driving so slow and I'm'm like I'm like a pimp right now. That temple is what is that temple? I don't even know, I can't, it's like so white girl that temple. He's like it's known as the Balfree Temple of Friendship. The irony is not lost on me, bitch temple. I've had to repair a lot of runes between Adam and I that were created as a result of everything that transpired that I caused.

And you know what, Adam is my anchor and he just makes me feel very stable and grounded. Specifically, I sort of feel like if I were out at sea as an anchor, he would drag me down into the water. You both die. Yeah, that's what he's saying. Who says that? Adam is my anchor. Like he's what? He's dragging you down and keeping you in place.

That's terrible. He's my anchor. And then I feel like he sometimes sits at a desk and just reads lines and we don't really talk. He just talks at me and is very boring and formal then I look at what happened in the news. He's like a block of cement that I want to tie around by inkling, frag me to the bottom of the ocean. But free tower bids! Adam is like my cyanide pill.

You know, like at some point I just have to take it and resign myself to dying. And Adam's like, well, I just wanted to come here because I know you and MJ have been mending things. And then we get like this filler scene of what good people, Reset and Adam are just wanting to solve things when they still have a restraining order against. I know exactly. So Reset goes for, oh, sorry. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Who is that? So Retset is Gofer. Oh sorry. Oh yeah, Retset goes on his whole thing about like, you know, we were thinking the trip for the crew would be good and she said, what do you think about not bringing our spouses and then it occurred to me that we still have a restraining order against her husband. Oh, speaking, look, it's a meerkat or a squirrel! Is that a fern? Is that a pen over there that a pimple over there? I think I go for... That goofers like a pimple.

I think it wants my stick. Oh my god, come over here, go for a rid of friendship temple. Come on over, I'm so happy I love nature. It's not a go for stupid, it's a muricat no go for a pimple coat. Get over here, pimple, bitch! Goofers be like you're on my hill and then I'll be like, I know I'm on your hill, but it's a temple, and that's Bidja's temple. It's making me love friendship, and then go for Bidja's, fine, but don't stay here for

very long, and I'll be like, fine, get out of my face, gofers! I said Bidja lost 50 pounds to that Murekat gofers, and it it ran away so I stepped on it. So anyway, about friendship, I hope this would be an exchange of olive branches and there would be so much positivity. Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, I just want to get back to the fun times. I'm like, well, you could probably start by lifting a restraining order at them. Maybe that, maybe that. And then resa, so then, yeah, Resa prays on the temple. I feel like I've observed the energy of the bell. Let's pace and respect.

The bell is probably like, my life sauce has left me. This evil man took it from me. And now I shall disintegrate. Bunga, gunga, gunga. It just falls into the earth. And then the editors are so shady. It's like, please don't let me let go of this positive feeling sinking temple.

Coming up, get your nose down, bitch! Those coming ups on Bravo in general are some of the best shady editing we ever see. They always love to make it. They always love to just like undercut their talent with that. So you know who's house I never ever want to go to Destiny's. Destiny is one of those people who puts a photo, you know those Budwa picks that people take on these shows

for like their husbands or whatever for their anniversary. You know like the one I'm sending you right now for our 1500s. It's like a picture of her in lingerie. It's like a whole book. It's like a whole Apple book. You know how you used to send in your Apple pictures and get a picture, but it's like a whole Apple book filled with her and her nips on her coffee table.

You know what, can I just, can I get some finger foods? Yeah, Destiny talk about, romance is our chief artist, destiny, who made the most beautiful art with Sam last year. So here she is. And she's like, Frankie, I need your, I need to get your outfits and my outfits ready for this weekend.

Come on, Frankie. And, you know, I remember that she's talking to her dog, Frank Sinatra, and I get annoyed all over again. Yeah, it's really sad that her getting ready scenes are always like talking to her dad, or remember last year when she saw that limping. Was it a squirrel? What was it last year that she had? It was like a possum.

Was it dead possum? Yeah, like, no, it wasn't dead, it was pregnant. Remember, she like moved the pregnant poss? Yeah, it makes me sad. So, and I'm someone who lives alone. I do literally the same thing with my dog, but I guess it makes me sad seeing her. At least I don't have like half naked pictures of myself

on the coffee table, okay? Wait, ideas. Ideas. So then we go to mics and mic is trying to squeeze into white jeans, which, you know, I can feel, I can feel that. Yeah. And it was, it was a very visceral, visceral testament to physics. And then we go over to Reza, who is just like, I'm going to come back just as lean because I'm going to stay on my

intermittent fasting game, which is funny, knowing the shopping cart he loads up later in the episode. Yeah, that's going to be an incredible hour of power. Okay. And Adam's like, good news, honey. When when you're when you lose a couple more pounds, we're going to be able to wear the same science shirt. And Resid just looks at him like you will not be touching my shimmering air meds knock off shirt at him Okay, you will not be wearing my 10 year old stance recital glitter top Adam. You will not So then GG. She's packing up and guess what guys She's gonna miss her baby. Another guess what? That's her first time being away from her baby

for more than two days. Guys, she is the first mother to ever. She cries, she cries because she misses her baby. I bet that's coming up. So Ron, and no, that would never happen. She's like, mom, he has to use his brain cards. And she talks about how she's got plenty of people. Thank God for her mother because that is her village.

So then we go over to Tommy. Wait, Tommy? No, it's Tommy. Well, yeah, and Tommy's like, you realize, huh? You go on away for three days and you're bringing four bags. What the fuck? And J. Yeah. This was one of the most cruel things we've seen,

which is that this party limo pulls up to MJ's house, and then Nima and Mike and London meet her there to hop in this party limo to go to Palm Springs. And in my mind, I'm thinking, you made these people go all the way out to Calabasas in order to go to Palm Springs. It is literally like 45 minutes in the wrong direction. I was already just mad on behalf of everyone who had to show up there.

Um, yeah, some distance anger. I have to, um, the ballet, that distance anger is very potent. Mm-hmm. You know, it really is. I used it. I had to do a couple of catering parties in Calabasis and I would be so mad the whole time. It's like, then I'll pay you the hour it takes to drive there. And then you get there and everyone's got like a white picket fence in front of

their house. Like, that's a law that you have to have that or something because everyone has it and it just makes me so it's not a picket fence. It's like sideways because picket fences are a vertical. But this is like, or you know what I mean? It's not a pick-adventure. It's like sideways because pick-adventures are a vertical, but this is like or you know what I mean Yeah, it's like a sweet-go-force riding. Yeah, yeah like stable fences or something like well, we've all got horses catering person How long did it take you? Oh, I got here faster on my Mustang darling Wow leads of antipompos really snobby today I just have to say if someone invites me to Palm Springs and I have to travel 45 minutes west

before we make that trip all the way east, like our friendship is over. I'm just telling you that right now, anyone who might live in Calabasas that goes for all the Kardashians, I don't care. You have a go through all of you, Cardi, Dashi, Dash. Like I don't care.

So I worry about London because she says things like this. I hate when people say things like this. I love Palm Springs. It's like an adult Disneyland. It literally is not. Like, there's no rides. There's, I don't know what an adult Disneyland is, but it is truly not.

It's Disneyland. What the fuck in this is Disneyland, okay? Take a joint. It's a dope boom. It what an adult Disneyland is, but it is truly not. It's Disneyland! What the fuck is this Disneyland, okay? Take a joint. It's a doll, boom, it's an adult Disneyland. An adult Disneyland is like Magic Mountain. It does a roller, there's like big roller coasters there. That's adult. Okay, so what, what's matter, what's happening? What, what, what are you calling yourself the adult Disneyland?

Why? Why? How about this? How about this, you take a roller coaster,, just drive it right off the edge of that and just die. Okay, because you know what, this is not it. This is a brand. Okay, this is Skinny Girl.

Okay. Oh god, that's quite a ride. Do you just go through it? It's like, you're fat, you're fat, you're fat, you're still fat. You're still fat, you're still fat, you're not fat. Nope, you're bad against your fat. You have to be this skinny to ride on this rollercoaster. Okay.

If you can walk through this, if you can get through this turns out, you're in. There's still a height thing that it's now height weight proportion. Yeah, yeah, the, the, what's it called, like the, the, nevermind.

I was trying to remember the nails. I was guessing the lose, not the lose. You know the log thing, the flu. The flu is just you're just riding the skinny girl Margarita, like just splash down into it. So anyway, yeah. Under Mountain. What?

Thunder Mountain. Isn't that the railroad one? No, the flu. The flu will have a flu. The splash mountain. Oh, okay. But a flu. The adult is the right land. Yeah. Yeah. The flu. The flu. That map. That's adult Disneyland right there. The flu. I love a flu. Um, so London is, uh, London

introduces herself to Mike and he's like, Oh, hi, I'm Mike by the way. She's like, what's up? He's like, no, no, I don't. Who told you that? I don't even know what that is. Just saying hi, dude. I'm very familiar with you. And then she says that she's already met Mike because she was with a friend and Mike's penis textitor.

She's like, yeah, I met Mike. Well, I met a part of Mike. I met his penis. Yeah, me and my mutual friend were hanging out and then Mike's penis texted and I felt slightly traumatized. But for a penis, it was nice. So then, Resa and Adam's house, the other teams getting their big, stupid, horrible Earth and murdering limo.

What are those? It's like those army cars. Humber. We're just like, uh, yeah, it's just, uh, like, you know, kill the earth limo. So there's no too cozy to the rimspin. We are coming to America bitches. He's like, I have a very, I have a group of very messy friends who are like,

they were like not all, they're just like not all including myself in a great place with one another. So we're gonna go separately because like keeping a bunch of Persians in a confined space with alcohol for two hours is not a great idea. I'm like we've watched you guys on party buses for 10 years. No, he's right. It actually he's right. He's right. I think they all just live so far because they used to all just live in Hollywood

and now you've got MJ all the way in Calabasas. I don't even know where Reza is. Where is he? I'm at the last flight. I feel like he's in Atwater Village. For some reason I have it in my mind, he's in Atwater Village, which is across the five.

It's sort of New York Costco. So I may be wrong, but I feel like that's where he is. Okay, so everyone was just too far. So GGC's Destiny, who of course comes out of her house like this. Hey, bitch, oh, hey. What the proper, I hear the property values just, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,

it's like the worst episode of One Division of All Time. And so then like this big Ford arrives and then rez, whoo, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, And I feel like someone asks this every time they get into a vehicle with Reza. Why does this smell like cockdogs in here? Yeah, so then they all load in and Adam's like waving goodbye. Like have a fun time. I will totally be here alone all five days that you're gone. Bye. Matt having any game nights with clothes on. Bye.

There will not be any stacking of blocks in the living room that might fall over. Bye. So let's see, Reza tells everybody in his van or whatever that MJ will be inviting someone named London. He's like, she's gay and person. And she's like, that is not an easy culture to be out in. And I'm saying this as a new mother. So, just wanted to put that in there. Yeah. And so she's a Persian Jew and her girlfriend is Latina. And she's an only child.

In case you couldn't tell from London that she's an only child. She's an only child. And she knew she was gay when she was six. And then then she's like, wait, it's going back and forth. So then they're talking about London and the other car. And Gigi says, wait, is she from London? Is that a stripper name? So then back with London, Meme, it's like, oh, so you have a girlfriend.

Do you guys have three thumbs? And she's like, um, no, and goes, well, me and my girlfriend had three thumps. It was so awesome, bro, because it was like always two girls. And like, I would not have been missed at all. I could have like gone outside and hit a sandwich, and they still would have kept going on it. So, Neema, not a great story to tell about yourself and your appeal in general. And also like, wow, you're a lesbian. Do you have three thumps? I know. Like that's that, like if there's any question about whether or not

Nima was a straight dude, it is now official. He's very straight because that is the most straight dude thing to do. So do you have three Sims all the time? Because you're a Los Bians? I'm sure London was like this fucking teeth out of my face. So then Raza is telling everybody that the theme for this weekend is 2010. And because MJ and I started reminiscing, wow, when was a good time with this crew? And it happens that it was before the show was ever thought of. I know exactly. And Neema is like, 2010, I don't want to go back to 2010.

I was fat and married and having two and a half sums in 2010. Okay, I don't wanna go back to that time. It's bad for my brand. And MJ wants a clean slate and Mima's like, well, I don't think it's a clean slate because Ressa can't be in the same place with me because you said he gave me his best. So I did like the thing that you do.

You know, I was like, I'm using this iPhone, branded phone, to call him and give him his best. And you know what, never texted me back. So, although maybe you were hacked, maybe he was hacked also, I hear there's a lot of hackers going around. So, you know, you should look into that, you know? Yeah, and Nima calls it.

He's like, yeah, he blames me for the MJ thing, which is ridiculous. So ridiculous. Yeah. So Russ is like, I'm going to go out of my way to be Persian polite. Mm hmm. And MJ is most nervous about her relationship

with the girls, aka GG and Destiny and about like how that's gonna get mended. And Mike says, Mike says that he's gonna just let everything go this weekend. Which obviously we all know. Another Mike lie, right? Because he goes, me and my wifey are like this, you know? Like there's nothing that's gonna break us up. They're like forces out there, you know, like Russian hackers and like North Korean hackers that are like trying to break up our relationship because like apparently our relationship is so good. It's like a high priority for like boon and other guy in North

Korea. And like, like, sorry, like nothing can get in our way. Like no international intrigue can get in the way of our relationship. Like me and Polina. Sorry. And Mike's like, yeah, this group is messy. They're gonna try and then he goes, I'm not messy. I'm like, literally, in a cast of messy people, you're possibly the messiest, sir. And he says, well, we're gonna be under one roof together. So there are some very incriminating text messages in the air, what could go wrong?

So they get to the house. The first van gets to the house. And then I guess because she's named London has to use weird English accent sometimes. So she's like, oh no I can't allow. I think, well I think that's like a dumb and dumb or a dumb and dumb reference. It's like, what is with all these references?

The other day there was a Tommy boy. Stop doing this to me. I know, it's okay. I'm sure you'll have like a nice like Billy Madison reference to tomorrow, you know. You'll have to go more coming to the pike. No pressure, Bill Burz listening, no pressure. That which means also Lordearn okay. Lordearn's like I'm just gonna mention in my movie. So, Sandra Bullocks like I better get a bird box reference really quick While you were sleeping am I right?

so so now MJ's limo arrives to the house first and And they like walk in and stuff as you mentioned and he was like holy shit wow bro dude my man my bro my dude bro look doorways bro dude and Mike the outside of this house This place does not do it justice like if these hackers could see this place right now They would probably hack the South right now. I'm telling you right now because it's so good. It's so good So the other people are at the store because MJ sent them a shopping list The list is so evil. It's like here's a list Persian cucumbers mint cheese lavash, lavash, almonds,

walnuts, pistachios, watermelons, honey crackers, bacon, steaks, assorted seafood. It just keeps going and going and going. So they just basically go in and super market sweep where they just start putting everything in the car and he's like, oh my God, I did not person cucumbers. Hi, those are many cucumbers. Guess what? A regular cucumber will be fine. Hey, you're gonna survive this. I know.

You will survive this. I mean, while it keeps crosscutting between them at the supermarket and then back at the house, and the in my case, keeps making really annoying declarations that no one cares about. Like, guys, I want to be honest. I want to have a drink and I want to jump in the pool. Guys, guys, I want to be honest, I want to have a drink, and I want to jump in the pool. Guys, I think I have to go to the bathroom. Guys, I'm going to go check out this room. Like, who are you announcing this to? And why does anyone care? Yeah, like,

literally no one cares. And, uh, rest is all upset because they're asking for person things, like from the person grocery store down the street. Like we're in ranch on the Raj bitch. And then this is where the La Vos spread issue comes up where they can't find La Vos spread. And Destiny is like, you know, assing the lady in the like, sorry, we don't have it. So she says, well, I guess we'll just get Hala instead, which to your point, too totally different.

You want to be like Chabada, Taha, that makes sense. But lavash bread, Tahala, I don't know about that. I think because there's some Persian Jews. So she's just like identity basing with the bread. You know, it's like, we can't have our bread. So we'll get the part Jewish people bread to. Okay. It's like, it's all identity carbs is what destiny is engaging in. So Reza, so they pull up to this house and Reza in destiny are two of the most of my people in the world. They're getting out. She's like backing out with her big long blonde wig and her like, you know, little workout pants or whatever. And he's like, you guys, oh my god, honey. Oh, yes, honey. Oh, work it it baby. Thank God I'm gay

Yeah, well like if you were straight then what you like You're just gonna just have sex with her or something So where's mayor's mayor's and so MJ is the MJ's inside talking to Tommy about the baby and Neema's pooping and Resin's like all pissed cuz he basically walks in and and the only one there is like London And he's like oh well that's so nice if you guys to make sure people are shitting when I'm arriving Seriously like that's so Persian like where the pimps like the pimpy here, okay Where's the pimpy you Like the pimpy here, okay? Where's the pimpy here, cat and the golfer cold? Where's my thank you? Where's my drink? Where's my greeting?

And London's like, nice to meet you. I'm not YouTube, I don't even know who you are. Yeah, so, um, yeah, so they're all bringing in the groceries now and he is really sore about not getting a big like Reading you know, so he's like a really past And so So Justin is now got she follows her dog into her room, because she's like, I'm gonna let Franky choose the room for me, which I thought was gonna turn into a drama. I thought she's gonna take Mike's room,

but it actually was just, she just chose a room. And then it was just Destiny trying to have a story that I'm with her dog. She's like, Frank Sinatra is such a sensitive dog. Like, he's sent his shade, he's an empath. Like, if I'm not good with someone Frankie gets anxious like if he gets anxious like a matter of what I feel inside because he's just running from roomed. I'm like your dog is my de seven years old okay your dog wants to ping

on something. Yeah take it outside. Take a damn take a damn your damn empath old ass dog outside. Thanks. Yeah I there's like listen Nemema's like pooping in the in the corner And there's like a million different groceries going on your dog just want some fresh air That's all it wants It's just sat in the car with you guys Okay, just leave the dog alone. Yeah, it's just trying to find an exit for fuxxing It's not being an empath It's just called to find an exit for fuxxing. I know, it's not being an M-bap. It's just called looking for an escape route.

Yeah. So, Gigi calls home. Guess what? This is your baby. It's boy. So then in the kitchen, MJ is with Reza and Nima standing right there. And she's like, Reza, are you and Nima going to have a conversation? About what?

Your future. And then we see a clip of her like, are you going to have a talk about what your future and then we see a clip of her like are you gonna have a talk about your future With him So we cut back and he's like well, I would like to be in a better place with Neema and have water under the bridge if that is possible And he was fanning right there, but he's still talking about him. So Neema's like well, I don't see why we can't just get to a better place I mean without talking, you know, we're gonna have to like sit down and talk't just get to a better place. I mean, without talking. You know, we're gonna have to like sit down and talk. We're gonna get to a better place. Okay, so the reason why I want water under the bridge

is that way I can throw you off the bridge and you can drown. Okay? So anyone who thinks that they're pleased is to get in the middle of a 30 year friendship that they know nothing about, except for the fact that I talk about our 30 year friendship on every single episode of this show. Okay, like you're gonna get in the middle of our 30 year friendship. And

me and I was like how did I get in the middle of it? Why on earth would you surprise me and bring my best friend up 30 years? Who I am issues with to a party? Like if you can't wrap your head around that, I don't know what else to tell you because guess what if we had been friends of 30 years you would understand what I'm talking about. And Resa is wearing another lightning shirt. Resa really loves this light like Resa's thing is like glitter and lightning now so like all the times God should have struck his ass down, you know? And Resa's like you surprised me So Nima's like, um, I can't I can't wrap my head around it. I mean, didn't we already talk about this? Yeah, and I was thinking fuck with you because I was so mad about it. I didn't notice

Yeah, and I was thinking fuck with you because I was so mad about it and I didn't know what to say And he was like well that's on you my man brother, dude and rest because you brought my best friend of 30 years You said the domino effect and you know how long those dominoes had been sitting there 30 years You set up a domino effect and then Adam got naked with the neighborhood to play dominoes So you're trying to ruin my relationship too Of 30 years So he's like I'm responsible for that fight with MJ where you said that her uterus is broken Because she's had ten abortions. He's like I don't need to talk to you. You're a bitch

I'm not a bitch. You're a bitch. I'm not a bitch. You're a bitch. I'm not a bitch. You're a bitch. I'm not a bitch. You're a bitch and you're not my friend. Stay away from me. He's a bitch. Go get your nose done. Bitch. I'm like, okay. Well, first of all, like, stop processing whatever strange issues you have with masculinity into this moment because that's uncomfortable and uncalled for. And also, like, Reza trying to blame Nima for this entire thing when Reza was like an absolute monster last year when Reza did not visit his best friend of 30 years in the hospital when she was could possibly have died and just gave birth to a baby that she'd been trying for for like five years.

And you didn't visit because of some bullshit. And then you're gonna blame Nima? No, Resa. No, no, no, no, no. So then Resa goes and calls Adam. He's like, the babe. And Adam is lying in bed with his, like one of those really low cut tank top things like his

boobies kind of hanging out and then his beard his big gross sailor Santa beard just unfurled yeah it was like a good beard and and you know Reset Reset like he he's all man well he by the way he also storms off and is like he's such a don't bring my friend a 30 years. I'm like, are you like how many times can someone say my friend a 30 years? Literally every single time. So he's just screaming bitch over and over. So he goes, Zaddy, I cried, I cry, I said crazy shit to Nima. I got angry and they called him a bitch. And you know who else was a my friend. I've done starting here! And then meanwhile Nima is in the kitchen with MJ and he goes,

Okay, 50-50, I'm gonna knock him out this trip. 50-50 chance. Yeah, because you've seen me with my on-restrained anger. It strikes fear into everyone's eyes when they see me, okay? So 50-50 chance, bro, that I'm gonna knock that dude out, my man. Yeah, what are you gonna do, smile at him in sunlight?

Can you break? So Adam's like, So sorry, my love, I wish you were home. Ha ha, monopoly. Sorry, can you send my balls? Sorry. We have a ghost, so sometimes I talk to him, but don't worry, it's not a real person that I'm making for.

So now Neema's with London, and Neema's telling London what happened in the kitchen, and like Resa has sort of come back in, and well, Lena, I'm Lena. So London's saying, well, you know, he sounds very sensitive, you know, like, you're kind of like you, you seem sensitive too. Listen, London, I have zero ill will towards this guy who I 50, 50, I'm probably gonna knock out on account of me being pretty manly, I would say. And so I am not gonna coward to him whatsoever. Definitely not carrying him because I will probably be punching him in the face like a man does. So, Resa comes in, he's like, let me apologize to you London. She goes, I'm, look, let me ask you, do you think that you're sensitive? Of course, of course!

You know what, I'm sensitive too. And so is Nima. And you know what? Two people that feel nothing for each other would have this kind of rage towards each other. You guys have a lot in, you know, I wrote down, I wrote down. You guys have a lot in condom, but that also works too. I mean, the shots.

Yeah. So, okay, you guys have a lot in common, you know. Actually, no one wears a condom on shots. What are we talking about? Yeah, that does not belong here. Yeah. So share two things that you'd like about each other. Oh, well, I have to say let me start out with a brand recommendation that Reza has the best hair care products on the planet. Like if I could just 50 50 chance I'm gonna knock out one of those bottles

and make sure to put it into my hair because it's that good. And also, Resa is the kind of friend that showed that when he does show up for you, it's through the roof, okay? We went to a focus group, 10 out of 10, okay? Huge, huge scores for Resa. Shine up.

Nima, Nima has beautiful, little, beady, stupid eyes. And Gigi's mad that they're being nice to each other. They just keep cutting to Gigi like, you have a baby now. Do not stab anybody. And Nima is always so jovial. And if you want to have a good time, there is Nima with terrible teeth and they try and knows that he needs to get done.

And she's like, oh my god, Jovio, he's at it, Jovio, we've done, we've gotten somewhere guys. You know what? I was feeling agitated from the store because you know MJ, my friend of 30 years, made me buy so many things like literally 10 ingredients for every year that we've known each other and you know what I knew better But I didn't do better. I'm sorry. I need to be a better misselle Shabama Shabamsha and so I'm just like group hug and Gigi doesn't she's like I am so mad So then for destiny trying with her storyline She's like, I am sad, mad. So then for Destiny trying with her storyline, Frankie Sinatra out by the hot drum.

She's like, oh my God, Frankie, Frankie, come here, dude. If you're so good, Frankie, Frankie, where are you going? Frankie, Frankie, you're going in the pool. Frank Sinatra. Oh my God, I got you. You were in the pool. Can we just get rid of Destiny now? What's with this?

Why is Destiny still here? Cut the cord. Yeah, I agree. So then, now they're all just hanging out and talking. And MJ gives Mike a little bighorn. I guess, I forget what it was. There was some nominal reason for it. It was if anyone acts blow out, it's like a whistle or whatever.

But she's handing out New Year's Eve party favor type things because they're going to have a New Year's Eve 2010 party. Yeah, so he keeps on honking that horn and being really annoying. And then MJ gives GG like a little headband thing to wear so that way she can speak. And she starts saying how, you know, when they were young, you know, when they were young they just didn't have anything to beef over. And I'm thinking, isn't it supposed to go the other way around? Isn't it supposed to be that you beef on all sorts of shit

when you're young, because you're young and stupid, and then as you get older, you just are like, eh, it's not worth it anymore. You guys are going in the wrong direction. So then, Gigi and London are talking, and London tells her, you know, they talk about where they're from, and London's local girl, too, and she went to Westwood High and then she ran away because she was gay.

But then she started therapy and knew that she wanted to be a therapist and, you know, I'm a life coach, dating coach, which I, you know, what I know that's broad. I mean, look, I have single people, they're not in a relationship and they come to me. And then, you know, we talk about what's in the way. You know what? One of my biggest breakthroughs recently, I got somebody to say the word jovial and it really you know what? It changed everything.

I felt the air change around me. And she says, you know, people break up because of emotional baggage and she goes, no, I break up with people because I'm not stimulated anymore. I need to be constantly challenged. I'm like, that's called emotional package, GG. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck do you think is motivating that?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I need to be constantly mentally challenged. I break up with people because I'm afraid of commitment that I need to be challenged. Like that's me, emotional package. Yes. And she says that she's really resonating with polyamory. And then it goes, hmm, interesting. She's not sexually, it's not like a sex thing. She's, well, I admire that you know what you want. I'm gonna continue to look at you with my brow for road and my lips purse like I'm sucking on a butter scotch in front of my teeth while you continue. Please continue this. Please

continue but know that I am actually checked out this conversation because you your lost cause I can already tell. So just do a butter scotch face. So GD tells us she's probably amorous now because it's for people who enjoy doing you know, but not just with one person. And one that's like, you need to find that person who's open to this in the first place. And she goes, are you not in the business of this? She goes, oh, no.

I mean, I do have relationship therapy, but not really polyamory. And she goes, get me all the bitches. I love London. You're very serious about this. Yeah. I also, serious about this. Yeah. I also, I love London's advice. Oh, so you're into Polly. Okay, so you should find someone else who's into Polly.

Like, oh, you think? Find a serial monogamous instead. Let's see how that works out. I want you to go. I want all the bitches. She goes, you're fascinating. And by fascinating, I mean tragic. Okay, I'm going to go stand by the oranges because I need to get away from you.

So one of my neighbors, when I first was living in LA, was Pauli Amriss. And that was the first time I had ever heard of it. And I was like, wow, good for you. I was like, oh my god, I have a Pauli Amriss. I was so excited because it was so new to me. And I will never ever be involved in that. And let me tell you why you fight. You had now you have five people to fight with.

Okay. You have five people calling your ass out. I was like, now who's she fighting with? It was like a swinging door in there. I was like, do you guys even have sex or is it just people like five different people coming into fight with this poor girl? Yeah, I feel like it's, I totally support people who are in poly relationships, but to me, it just seems like we've just seen too many reality shows to know how it's going to turn out.

Like like Gigi can threaten to murder, you know, more people bow, you know, at a time. Yeah, it's like, it's like take all the usual reality show storylines, but now also add that they're all have, we've seen Vanderpump rule season one. Okay, we've seen Vanderpump rule season one. Everyone was having sex with each other. Didn't turn out well. So, um, so now Mike and Nima are playing ping pong and, uh, Destiny is, is feeling water. I don't know. She's, she's still testing water out there and read like, everyone, everyone,

we need everyone. Okay, Maris and I have to make an announcement. Okay, so we're gonna be doing New Year's Eve 2010. And we're going to make Resa, Lucians. Get it? Resa be funny. That's funny. I would like to start with my resolution.

Lose 50 pounds. Whoa, look, I already did it. Bitch, lost 50 pounds! So they all have to go wear something that makes them feel celebratory. Guys, my balls are chasing. Dude, bro, 50% chance that my balls are gonna chase really hard for the rest of the evening. Okay, guys, just put it out there, my man. Just put it out there.

My best suggest briefs or boxer briefs, like if your balls are that dangly that they're chafing all the time to this point, like, remember last season, you would always shove that Dennis pants to, get some briefs, put the time up, okay. Yeah. So Reza's excited.

He's got his 2010 product. And so this is where I started to have some, I started to raise some eyebrows about London. Okay, because so far I'm liking London. She seems funny. She seems cool. I love her blazers. But then she walks into the kitchen.

She walks into the kitchen. She had a blazer on. She had like a nice blazer in the confessional. She walks into the kitchen and then she's like, hold, she had a nice blazer in the confessional. She walks into the kitchen and then she's like, hold on, Razz, I just need a little bit of this and then they do like air kisses. And I'm like, you guys only just met. I was like, oh, London is gonna do like that overboard.

Like, yes, we're like best friends, I love you guys. Like I already feel like I love you guys and then she's gonna. Like, I love you guys. Like, I already feel like I love you guys. And then she's going to turn evil, I suspect, which actually, as I say that is, I'm realizing that's actually something that I look forward to on these shows. So yeah, I really love London. I don't know, I was a little like,

well, MJ brought you on and now you're going to be best these with Reza because they were giving that. And you know, of course, he's going to try it. Yes. Because it's MJ's, you know, and she probably just wants to get along with everybody, but I was like, uh-oh, watch out because you were the newest pawn in this ongoing. Yeah, 30 year fight.

She was giving me like, like, she was giving me a very specific energy that for some reason was taking me back to sleepway camp, like arriving at sleepway camp and there was always that one person who was all about being like, oh my God, we're gonna be best friends. I can tell we're gonna be best friends.

And you're like, oh my God, I can't believe that someone already just like, really, really, really wants to be friends with me. But then you start to realize it was just like for show, you know, I don't know, it took me to a dark place. Oh my God. You had a London at-awakey app. It's just like the first one to push you down and like dodge bomb or whatever.

Exactly. Um, so Mike in that fucking horn going off and um, Mike tells everyone by the, uh, he's like, by the way, guys, look at Brezza. That's like a $10,000 for Saty Robes wearing. He goes, he's mad because he got that stupid thing at Marshalls. So it's now that they're resolutions and London has to step out because she's got serious cramps. And MJ says, she addresses GG and she goes, you know, I hate to be vulnerable and we're both new mothers.

And we've been at a distance for many, many, many years and I see it in your face and reserve your judgment but let's talk about this when you want to, you know and Gigi basically tells us that she knows that Gigi says that she has changed so she knows that people can change but she's just not sure about MJ because it's been years of issues. Yes, and Gigi is like the totally innocent one this season, which I like. You know, she's like, I'm in I've never done anything to anybody. Yeah. So Mike has the one now because they're passing around this one.

And Mike's like, you know, my resolution is to control my emotions because I can't let my emotions get the best of me, even if it's just to protect who I love. You know, because people are going to have opinions. Okay, you go, you go now. I mean, it's like, uh, okay, well, I didn't know anybody in 2010, but I do believe in, uh, I do believe in leading with empathy. I believe that Nibiscus should be respected, big brand. And there are people at this table and rest of the like, just say GG, you know, you just want to say GG. I hate when people are getting the middle of relationships.

Say GG. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, well, if and when you want to have a conversation with me, which I predict will probably be about a 50, 50 chance that we'll be having that, I will lead with empathy. Well, actually, I'll lead with my teeth first and then we'll get to empathy. And then she goes, TG wasn't that sweet.

And she's like, oh, she's so mad. And so GG finally gets the wand and she goes, I would tell myself and everyone here in 2010 to just wait and see that I'm not the bad guy in the group. Okay, good luck with that. And there's a squeak, just like a chair squeak. I mean, then we get like a flush back. Yes, you are.

Here's the problem. Yes, you are the bad person in the group. You know who else is the bad person? Resa. And the other bad person is MJ. And the other bad person is MJ. The other bad person is everybody. Everyone on the cast. Um, I like that when she says, I'm not the bad guy. And then we get a prolonged montage of her, like, attacking and screaming

and being a crazy person all these years. But I just want to point out, I love Mike saying that he's bowing to not let emotions get the best of him, you know, he's not going to let that happen. And then like, you know, it's only about two minutes later that he's like slamming the table and glasses are falling over. Yeah, no one cares if you let your emotions get the best of you. Don't let your dick get the best of you, okay? That should be your resolution, okay?

Stop letting your dick get the best of you, sir. So Destiny says... So Gigi just drops the wand. Yeah, she's not interested. And Destiny, her resolution is, my resolution is to communicate better for sure. So going for it, it will be one, two, three, you guys hearing my numbers?

It's a little, I'm just counting a little slower and more clearly to communicate better with you guys So then there's like a bat coming for Reza and he's like lightning so then He's like I my I would like to make a resolution. I will not mention Mike's penis So Reza sets this whole thing up just a thorough mic under the bus My speed is so Resa sets this whole thing up just to throw my gun to the bus like this whole thing has just been one long ruse So that resa could start a fight with my and Mike is and Mike falls for it every single time Mike who literally just said I'm not going to let my emotions get the best of me and who in the limo said they're gonna try to tear us apart

But they're not gonna be able to tear us apart He is now sitting there and just like HURRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN not talk about them whatsoever. And MJ says, Michael's so unhappy right now, you upset Mike. He's like, oh my god, I can't believe it. How is your resolution of life to not talk about my dick? Okay, Resin knows exactly what buttons to push and he's poking the bear. I'm a fucking bear that has buttons on

and the buttons on the bear are being pushed and that's causing a poking of the bear, which is me, okay? Rar. I don't want to see you like this bro man dude face. And Mike's like, I'm so tired of this shit. I can't take it anymore. So he gets up and Gigi follows him off to the grill because now somehow there's stakes on the grill.

Yeah, Ross. I don't know how that happened. Mike, that's the thing. So then Gigi, it's not just like purple. It's just like black meat down there. Just so long ago. And Mike's like, okay, it's ready just like purple, it's just like black meat down there. Just so long ago. And Mike's like, okay, it's ready.

So yeah. So she's like, look, I want to talk to you. Okay, look, I think you have a slight idea with Reza about what he's going on about. And he's like, oh, the messages on somebody's Android or something. And she's like, listen, I'm on your side, but these girls, you know, they're saying how you are, you're just stop lying to these chicks is what I'm saying. Just be in front with who you are, you know, like I know I can't be with one person. I need multiple people.

Yeah. She's basically trying to say, I'm now that I'm enlightened to polyamory. You should be enlightened to polyamory too, because we can be like Polyamor's friends together or something. And he goes, yeah, but she doesn't have a terrible point. If he just told like girls like what's her buns, Polyina, that listen, I want to be in a relationship, but it's really hard for me to be with one person. I need to fuck around her, do whatever.

There are people who do that, you know? I mean, basically, Polyina's already in that kind of relationship where she's allowing it. She's getting mad about it, but it's happening over and over and she's still saying, so staying. So, I don't know. But Mike is just totally dishonest with himself and everyone else literally. And he goes, you know what?

I'll tell you, with all due respect, I'm going to tell you who I am. I'm a man who loves her. And we have our issues and people want to get in between us. And they almost did. And it's not going to happen. Okay. No one's going to get in between us and they almost did and it's not going to happen Okay, no one's gonna get in between us. Okay, even though right now I am very angry and I'm gonna get out to everyone Okay, so Gigi's like listen, I don't give a fuck what Paulina says find out who you are and what you want to be in Relationships is no one's business is no one's business

so Gigi's basically like well fuck him. I was trying to look out for him, you know, and, um, and Mike says Taking relationship advice from Gigi is like taking cooking advice from Jeffrey Dumber, okay? So then he comes back to the table and he's like, if anyone wants to get involved in my relationship, say it now. Just step up, say it right now. He's like, what happened to the grill? Oh my God. And she says, like, just said, you know, tell your girls your boundaries. That's it.

And then destiny goes, well, look, Mike, you know, that I care for Paulina, right? And I care for you. I want the best for you guys. And I've always said that. He's like, mm, I appreciate that. I appreciate it, but we all know it's not the first time Mike It's going down a road. I don't like I just happen I can't believe I'd be with my friend of 30 years and this would happen So now Mike is getting really mad Mike who's like, okay, if anyone has anything to say,

see it now and then they start saying things, he's like, I don't want to talk about this anymore. And so, Res is like, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Well, you think I want to? I was minding my own business until I brought it up in front of the entire table, okay? And Destiny says, so we're talking about the product. Which is a little bastard.

Resa brought it up. He brings it up and then he's like, I don't wanna talk about this anymore. But Mike takes the bait every single time and Dustin is like, well, we were also mining our business when we got text messages to Mikey Jew and he goes, it doesn't fucking matter any slams the table and then something falls over.

He's like, mind your own fucking business if you have a problem, come talk to me. And that way I can tell you, mind your own fucking business if you have a problem come talk to me and that way I can tell you mind your own fucking business Don't talk to me about this They're literally coming through I'm talking like just so like Come and actually sweet and being like listen

I'm just trying to tell you and now he's now he's be like come talk to me then come talk to me He's like she was literally trying to communicate with you So he's like don't take it out on destiny and destiny's just like dude, you're so shallow dude. You're so shallow He's like hey, I shop at Target. That's not shallow boo boo, okay? If you shop at Target, you are not shallow Oh, it was wondering if you shop at Target you were not shallow People who like discounts are generally good people. Okay, don't you argue with me He's like shallow shallow you were drowning my ocean of depth. Let me tell you Depth shallow you would drown the target. Okay, me well

I would drown in my ocean of depth. Let's not forget that season one, they'd like tore us apart because you wore something from H&M. And now he's like, I will have something from target. Okay. I've worked target. My ocean of depth. Okay. My ocean of, I definitely ocean of blind depth. It's an ocean of depth. Shallow, shallow, ocean of depth.

You know what? When I hear Lady Gaga singing her song, I say in the, in the depth,aps, in the da-aps because I can't even have shallow. Mm-hmm, he's a real deep thought that one. So he's, Neema's like, now look, I'm not trying to defend Mike, but on what planet would you want your relationship,

rip the part on a vacation that's supposed to be a birthday celebration for you? God, my balls hurt. I'm chafing that there's a 50% chance I'm still gonna knock someone out because I'm just a bro bro and it ends with Mike walking off going Oh my god it was hilarious. What a hilarious episode. It's so good. I love when shots is firing and also unders. So Ronny happy 1500th. That was really fun. Way to what a way to bring in 1500 episodes. Then you were drowning in my in my

ocean of depth. Okay. Wow. Well, thanks Shaws. And thanks for everybody who's with us now, who's been with us for 1500. Yeah. We sure love you guys, and we will be back tomorrow with some below deck, mid-a-teroining. And then also, again, our bonus is going to be the Potomac Trailer Breakdown, and Top Chef this week is on the main feed. So check out Restaurant Wars, because we recapped it. So everyone have a wonderful day. Thanks again for all your support over these episodes and we'll talk to you on the next one.

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