Watch What Crappens - #154: Systematic Desperation and Bad Wigs

Episode Date: November 26, 2014

Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) tackle old bullying problems on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, new divas on Real Housewives of Atlanta, bad accents on Euros of Hollywood and terrible service on Vanderpump Rules. Come in! Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Okay. Thank you. Bye, guys. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm here with Ben Mandelker of B-Side Blog. Hello there, Ben. Hey, Ronnie. You guys can find all our social media stuff on our website, watchwhatcrappens.com, and you can chat with other listeners and us on our Facebook page at facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens.com, and you can chat with other listeners and

us on our Facebook page at facebook.com slash watchwhatcrappens. Please come over there. We're having a lot of fun. We're going to be reading a lot of your stuff from there today. And also you can subscribe to us for extras like bonus episodes and ringers and Google Hangouts and all that

good stuff at patreon.com slash watchwhat crappens. That's patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash watch what crappens. Come subscribe. It's fun and it's almost Christmas. And more importantly, it's Thanksgiving. And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am very thankful to the people who have already donated and supported and pledged money towards us.

It goes a long way. And once we hit $1,000 per episode, we're going to go up to two full episodes of Watcher Crabbins a week for everyone. So that'll be like – we'll be able to cover even more shows. Yeah. And as my mother would say, happy birthday, turkeys. Happy birthday, pilgrims and Indians. happy birthday pilgrims and indians um yeah top chef this week had or last week i guess because damn top chef comes out the same day we record so it's always so late by the time we record to talk about it but and by the way this was like uh indians and pilgrims like actual indians and

pilgrims and one of the indians looked like um francis mcdormand and had like a really thick boston accent which was really funny but i was like why are these people eating together don't eat anything the pilgrims give you have you people learn nothing i know it's like for the quick fire challenge find a way to make a mousse bouche out of small box totally totally take this diseased blanket and use it as a placemat for a dish with soup in it by the way i'd like to point out that we are recording live from the mayflower this week yes in the spirit of thanksgiving we didn't have a mayflower but ben went to new york to visit his folks so he's on the staten island ferry yeah actually so here's what's actually kind of

amusing about this i am in new york i'm at my friend's apartment my friend just had a baby about a month ago and uh my friend has now gone down to the supermarket to get groceries so i'm actually overseeing a baby as we're overseeing you can tell how much you ever take care of babies you don't say overseeing the baby man she was funny though she's like ben are you gonna hear it if you have headphones on but what if it starts crying what are you gonna do there's a podcast ben ben you're gonna make this is a baby okay ben she called you yes she's probably texted you five times if it starts to cry during the podcast we're gonna have this it'll be a very

interesting bonus episode that we have later well we are gonna record the bonus episode later and my friend uh mishi she's going to join us because we're going to talk about survivor um and also some other bravo gossip but but we're going to talk about survivor especially because she watches it yeah so that'll be late so meanwhile let's talk about who's still surviving on bravo oh barely barely any of my brain cells that that's for sure. Some of these bitches need to be voted off. And I include the men in that, bitches, so don't get all upset over there. Yeah, I think that's a very good assessment, Ronnie. All right, what show you want to watch? I mean, talk about first.

I don't know. Should we start with Beverly Hills since it was on most recently? Yeah, Beverly Hills was the most recent, so let's do that. I kind of felt like this episode was a dud, right? Like, nothing happened. Well, right now they're not hanging out at all. It's just them and their private lives, and I don't need to see Kyle do anything ever privately. Like, what is she even doing on here?

She's going to Tahoe, Lake Tahoe. She's still faking her fear of planes, which she seems to only have every other trip that's taken she seems to forget that she's got that um housewives fear i don't know yeah in in the spirit of thanksgiving i'm oh wait the baby's making noise uh-oh what did it do i think the baby sneezed i think that was the baby saying bullshit because it heard us talking about kyle's problems i know well in the spirit of thanksgiving um i'm going to say what i'm thankful for and i'm thankful for the baby's making noises can you hear this yeah but it's talking right i think the baby may be farting listen it stopped it stopped of course i think the baby may have pooped

it was like it sounded a little bit like a fart it looks like it's still asleep oh god of course she leaves you right when the baby poops isn't that how it works she's like it's this pooping time i'm going to the store you deal with it i did not sign up for pooping okay um she will change the diaper when she comes back so anyway so what i'm saying every time i say what i'm thankful for the baby poops which means the baby's like my shit is better than whatever you're about to say so so anyway i'm thankful for the ability to actually recognize bullshit whether it's coming from a baby or whether it's coming from kyle's mouth because i love how kyle has now spent the episode being like i really don't want to spoil porsche like you know her sister didn't have didn't have what she has and it's like it's really important

for me that she's not spoiled and she loads her onto a private plane and gives her everything she wants like kyle just because you say you don't want to spoil your child does not mean that you are not spoiling spoiling your child you know yeah you don't want elbow skin that hangs down to your knees either, but there we go. Yeah, you know, it's like one of those things where people talk about like, oh yeah, I really need to get into shape. I'm going to get into shape. That's something that's like really important to me. It's not the same as actually going to the gym and getting in shape.

Oh, trust me, I know. You know? If complaining about being fat actually burned calories, I'd probably be Mauricio size right now instead of kyle's one of my favorite scene about that um one of my favorite things about that kyle and mauricio thing that i'm thankful for is seeing how mauricio is obviously cheating on kyle at this point because because like when they're in the bathroom okay you know how every housewife show makes a husband sit there and listen to their wife bitch about their friends? Because who else are they going to talk to at home, you know?

So they all have the obligatory scene of the husband having to actually interact about all this stupid shit they don't care about. But Mauricio's beyond even giving a shit. He's staring at the wall, looking like he wants to murder himself. While Kyle's like, yeah, but then the girls, and then Adrian came came to the party and then the other girls were talking to adrian and then lisa was there and then and i wonder what happened and then and he's just like he has that look on his face like he's dreaming of like transgender tranny you know transgender hookers or whatever while she's blabbing on and on about nothing. I'm bending over and like blood drying her hair and getting her long ass hair all over the place. You could just see him making an escape plan, you know?

He's like, this flight is going to be flown by JFK Jr.'s pilot. And I'll meet you there. I'm taking a bus. He's probably the one who started the forest fire up in like Tahoe recently. He's like, I'll just create a lot of smoke and disappear in the middle of it. I'm sorry, babe. I don't know how your lighter was left. I don't know how your curling iron was left on.

We did that. Left it on the bed. That's so crazy. Sorry, babe. I was trying to throw the torch into Lake Tahoe and I threw it into the woods instead. Sorry, babe. Because they live in it. There they go.

And they stay in a castle of torches. And what we just what we just said was way more than Kyle even got this episode. So I was thankful for that. I was thankful for that, too. Yeah, she barely was on it. But Kim certainly had a lot going on. And I'm thankful for more Kim. I'm less thankful for super scripted storylines like the one that Kim and Brandy had last night.

I actually laughed at that i'm reading our facebook page and people are not loving that either you seem to all be hating that but i thought it was really funny i don't know why but kim's just so fucking crazy i like when kim just comes on and acts crazy and drunk that's it all the stuff last season i didn't like her last season because she was too like whiny and blah, blah and victim. I hate that. But I love when she's just crazy. But, you know, I like that, too. But this was like they were trying to force the Kim on us. Like you don't have to like come up with a whole ridiculous plan of like having her be in a wig and, you know, sitting in the hedges.

Like Kim will be crazy on her own. Just let it happen naturally. I guess I just believe that Kim is that way. Like, I believe that she has like, she's like, I believe that we're sisters in the way that we both have wigs in our closets that are in some bag and totally uncombed. Yeah. Because, you know, you have to put those things in a fucking washing machine, right? Wigs?

Yeah. Like, because they're not real hair. Well, unless you have real hair wigs, which she possibly does, but. I can guarantee my washing machine right wigs yeah like because they're not real hair well unless you have real hair wigs which she possibly does but i can guarantee my washing machine um so that reminded me of me because i just did that a few days ago but i didn't leave the house and spy on anybody but i was dancing around in them see i feel like if you want to make kim's crazy come out don't give her some wigs and tell her to stand in the bushes what you want to do is you want to put her in a situation where she's highly uncomfortable and nervous so send her to like a mixer with like a

bunch of um single professionals and lawyers you know the baby's making noise oh what's it saying it sounds like kim it's just like i know did you hear it there was like a little noise and the mobile is moving too it's talking it's talking and the baby i think is i think it's awake like staring at the mobile talking to it you know how babies do that kingsley just because you're a dog doesn't mean you can't be my boyfriend we're gonna be boyfriends like kindergarten boyfriends and girlfriends we're not gonna do it in the butt everything else is great. King of legs. There's not much of a difference between this baby's garbling and Kim

talking about whatever. Totally. I got wigs. But still, what I was going to say was send Kim to a place where there's a bunch of single men who are professionals and good looking and then the crazy will just happen because then she'll just be like on edge remember when she

was set up on a date like season one with Martin of all people or when she met that guy in the grocery store oh yes whoa yeah like I'm not in the chicken aisle chicken

chicken Kim's crazy works best when it's set in the context of very normal people I'm having a chicken aisle. And I was like, chicken, I love chicken. Kim's crazy works best when it's set in the context of very normal people and perhaps upstanding people. Because then you're like, whoa, she's crazy. But if she's just like with Brandy and the Hedges, it's like, oh, okay. Well, I don't buy Brandy being friends with anybody. Because Brandy only thinks about herself. And she went the Camille Grammar route and actually hired employees that are her friends oh my god so that she would have friends to hang out with that's so sad that like her gay that that rubber-faced gay is her house guest slash

um hairstylist oh ouch yeah and she's got like inch long roots so he's apparently not doing his job he's basically just living in the garage for free. It was like sycophant central. Yeah. Pretty sad. Because no one else can approve of Brandy's shitty attitude all the time. Yeah. So I'm not believing that she's really hanging out with Kim.

A, because she's a total drunk. And that they love each other so much. Yeah. Yeah. She's a total drunk. So if Kim really is, which I don't know that I've ever believed that anyway. She's a total drunk. So if Kim really is, which I don't know that I've ever believed that anyway, but if Kim really is sober, that's really difficult to hang around like a fully functioning alcoholic who's probably also doing coke and pills.

Yeah, exactly. And this is the same woman who accused you of doing meth in the bathroom, too. Yeah, exactly. I don't know. I don't think we could be friends again. I don't know. I'm not. My feelings would be hurt forever.

Well, and that's why, like, I would. That's why everything that Lisa said. I'm thankful for Lisa Vanderpump. I think we all are thankful for Lisa Vanderpump except for some of you, some of you who do not like her at all. But for me, I'm thankful for her because she, it's like, she has some common sense. She's basically like, what Brandy did was like betrayal. It was obnoxious and awful. And I just can never be friends with her in the same way again. Like, maybe we'll become friendly, but, like, it's just, it's not going to be the same.

just can never be friends with her in the same way again like maybe we'll become friendly but like it's just it's not gonna be the same and stupid brandy you know it really pissed me off again that that she was like it's just so crazy that like if kim richards could could forgive me or no that if adrian maloof could forgive me like it's ridiculous that lisa can't forgive me for this minuscule thing that we did it's like it's not up to lisa to come well actually i think she was asking for an apology or some either way it's like no brandy it doesn't work that way yeah she was like for her yeah i mean i ruined adrian's marriage and she's forgiven me i mean lisa's mad about some stupid comments i made like no that was like a year of torture now that said i'm kind of sick of listening to lisa be the victim because first

of all lisa is no victim and all you have to do is watch vanderpump rules to see the other side of lisa and that's the side i really like where she's just funny and bitchy and she doesn't give a crap what anybody thinks and maybe that's because she's surrounded by people who have to kiss her ass no matter what but i love that side of her but this beverly hills where she's like oh you know having friends who are mean to you blah blah she mentioned how she was so bullied she even called it systematic torture or something like but she's systematic i was worried she was going to say systematic bullying and i was going to have to like go on twitter and be like why why lisa why well i think that isn't that a big threat me going on twitter and being like why why would you do that lisa it's

the biggest it's a very existential uh attack but but but the thing is that like i actually didn't feel like lisa was playing the victim card too hard you know it's a sliding scale uh because everyone plays the victim card on these shows. But, you know, I just felt like it was justified. You know, they did come for her and she's basically saying, yeah, like I just won't be friends with her anymore. And she's explaining why.

She's like, you know, it wasn't just like an attack. It's like one after another after another came for me. And like, that's not cool. So I kind of get it. I get it. It's just too much. Like, came for me and like that's not cool. So I kind of get it. I get it. It's just too much. Like shut up already. We get it.

We've all seen the show and it's the second episode and you're still talking about it. I think Brandy is playing the bigger victim card. Here she is, this poor girl who, you know, she's just like, you know, like she's just a brat and she knows it. And like Lisa should forgive her. And the fact that Lisa hasn't forgiven her yet, it's just like ridiculous. And it's like, no, no. You don't get to have that entitlement, okay? And you can't hide behind this like, oh, I get it.

I'm a brat. Like, you know, I'm impulsive. Like I bite back. You know, she always does this. I bite back. She has been the first biter many times. Exactly. Yeah, that's exactly right.

No one bit you. You're just Kingsley's exactly right no one bit you you're just kingsley okay yeah you know i bet kingsley he's just beating he's just eating people okay yeah you you have like gored a few people and then you've wondered why they've like slapped you on the nose and then you bite and they're like and so i bit i bit back it's like no maybe game night okay game night her first season definitely she was biting back she gets all the bite back cred she wants that season but the next then it gets murky like i don't even remember the whole thing with adrian you know why did she go after adrian because she said that adrian was trying to get she was just getting pissy with adrian in general because she

was being a bitch and then she got drunk in ohio or wherever they were and they were having some dinner party and they were talking about everybody was talking about child birth and like how painful it was and stuff and adrian was like oh yeah you know when i gave birth it was really painful and blah blah blah and then so the different dinner party brandy was like that lying bitch didn't even have her baby and you all are so fake you're just sitting here and pretending that she had a baby and letting her lie on national tv and she never even had a baby it was all surrogate or whatever allegedly we never heard that part but right well no so brand i think brandy's defense was that adrian had called her up separately and was like let's

get dirt on lisa let's take down lisa or something like that and that's why brandy aired this dirty laundry but still at the same time i mean the punishment doesn't really fit the crime if asian did that that's like fucked up but then you don't go and like out this major secret or or just like you know you don't just what is it like salt the earth or whatever you just scorch the earth and then put salt in it you just let that field grow a little bit you know you don't have to go to that extreme, you know? Yeah, she's pretty awful. Brandy is just a nasty girl. And if she was fun or something, like if she had a fun personality, you know, there's always like bitchy, horrible people that you still like to hang out with.

I mean, my friends are friends with me. So, you know, there's like evil people that are kind of fun. But Brandy is just not even fun. She's just horrible. that are kind of fun but brandy's just not even fun she's just horrible and it's pain it's paining me to see her spend all this money acting like she's making all this money bitch is not making that much money she's not making as much money to be living how she is so every time i see that i'm like her children are going to be poor i mean bobby christina's probably poor now you know and she was whitney houston's daughter okay you can't just be spending your money like that put that shit away yeah i don't understand also why she suddenly

wait hold on baby is moving baby is moving what's it doing baby is settled baby everyone the baby has settled the baby has settled um i don't understand also why or how she can spend like two seasons to it's been two seasons that she's been on right two seasons sort of currying our sympathy or uh that here she's this woman who was cheated on by eddie sibrian and uh you know he did all these awful things and and i can never trust it like i can't trust someone who does that. I can't do this. Da-da-da-da-da. And now she has this guy, JR, who left her, again, for another woman.

He was cheated on her with another woman, which, by the way, does not speak well of Brandy. And yet here she is going after him, stalking him. It's like you can't play the – like how are you, like, fine with this guy, JR, doing to you what eddie sibrian did you know and and you know then we're supposed to play it off for laughs now it's like what are you are you the the jilted woman who is left by her husband for another woman or are you like silly woman who wants to win back a man from another it just everything about just really annoyed me well from the way that she talks about this guy, she's not making it easy for him. Because she's always like, well, we're always fighting and then we're fucking.

And, you know, I'm not. And whenever she talks to him, it's like with all this attitude. You know, like when girls are really attituded with the guy to try and turn them on. Which I still don't understand how that ever works. Because I'll run for the damn hills every time. But she doesn't make it easy and she's probably like oh it's just fucking but then when he starts having sex she's like oh but then he's you know then she'll play the victim and then now she's saying oh well i'm

gonna steal him back from that skank that he left me for but then she's calling someone else a man stealer later in the season so yeah she's just awful like you can't even you can't even pinpoint what's so bad about her because there's nothing redeeming about her there's not one nice thing she's never done anything for anybody else she's never been nice for just to be nice she's never done anything that's not calculated yeah she's just an awful person like she's tried really hard to be a housewife for it i mean now i guess a lot of do, but a lot of them were just kind of picked because they were, you know, especially on this show, like Kyle Richards, you know, I think already knew a bunch of Bravo people and pretty much just picked her friends. Yeah. You know, Atlanta, Nene just kind of picked a bunch of people.

It's not something that you have you should try so hard at least as like i mean brandy is like the um the bobby new jersey's bobby but on beverly hills just thirsty too too desperate she's way too thirsty on a network full of thirsty people she is one of the thirstiest yeah yep and bravo usually has really fun, but she's not one of them. And it's partly our fault because we loved her so much. And I don't mean us, the show. I mean fans in general who loved her so much in the first year. But that's just that.

It just goes to show you if every housewife is being mean to someone, you'll generally love that person. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. that person yeah yeah exactly no she she fell into the trap of so many housewives which is that uh she she thought she had a little bit more capital with the with the fans and uh tried to trade it in to make sort of like a big move and and be obnoxious and she let the fame get to her basically you know she followed in the footsteps of jill zarin and many other people nini people that we really liked at one point and then just became monsters. And that's what's happened with Brandy.

And Brandy seems totally – she's still pinning herself as a victim through all of it. And it's very frustrating. And I am not thankful for Brandy Glanville. Yeah, Brandy. So take that, sucka. Well, someone has posted on our Facebook page that Brandy's still going after Lisa on Twitter. Someone has posted on our Facebook page that Brandy's still going after Lisa on Twitter. So I was so excited to see it because it's supposedly in a Radar Online article, but Radar Online is offline.

So bad title for your website. Yeah. Stupid face. Now called Radar Offline. Yeah. Burn. Yeah. Thanks a lot, jerks. Yeah.

Okay. So what else happened on here? I'm really liking lisa renna i think she's super funny i'm very curious as to why she has a 25 year old agent that seems a little shocking but you know good for her i just don't like that she called him hungry when he's so fat that just seemed rude yeah what about fat rights but yeah she's because old agents are just bored they're just like collecting residuals. And this guy's like, I'm going to make you famous, girl.

She needs to have someone who basically has no clients, no real clients. And someone who's young and gay and probably worships the ground she walks on. And he will do anything for her. This guy has heat miser hair. And he has that annoying laugh that's just going to agree with everything she says. Everything she says, he's like, hey. And he's like, yeah, it's phrasing in my office, girl. Like, everybody's phrasing in there, but the king gets his way.

Ugh, gross. I know. I know. I know. It's funny because I was watching this at my parents' house. And my mom sort of like bobbed and weaved through the entire thing. But every now and then she'd sort of like wake up. And at one point, sort of towards the end, you know, because there's always like this, like an hour of like absorbing all this stuff.

And then my mom can't take it anymore and leaves like makes a withering comment. And my mom just decides like she's going to go just it's just they're all just so adolescent she and she goes you know what this is the show that should have been called arrested development this should have been arrested development and then just went to sleep that's funny i know but i love that he brought lisa a script for scream the series yeah because you know she's gonna play the mask that face oh my god every time she she laughs i'm like no too much botox back away from the botox her eyes squint and her mouth opens but that's pretty much it yeah um by the way i'd like to announce to everyone that Michelle is back. I am no longer on baby duty.

The baby's still alive. You did it. The baby is still alive and well. Michelle, the baby, I think the baby went to the bathroom. I did hear something. And there were a few sort of little noises. But overall, she still is asleep and well.

Okay. Thank you so much, Ben. That's very parental. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, I passed the baby test. You did it. I did it. You're free to adopt.

I can now adopt. I'm going to give it back to you at some point because I have to go get the laundry like two more times. Oh, no. So I will be back on baby duty. So I have to go get the laundry like two more times. Oh, no. So I will be back on baby duty. So I may have spoken too soon. Temporarily. Temporarily. Okay.

So we were talking about Lisa. You know, what I don't understand is where is Eileen Davidson? I mean, it sounds like she's finally coming next week. Yeah, she's coming next week. I wish I would have just brought her early because boring. Yeah, I's coming next week. I wish I would have just brought her early because boring. Yeah, I have to agree. What did you think about Adrian Maloof's scene? Well, Adrian Maloof's scene was fine.

She wasn't acting like a total bitch on wheels this year because I guess she, you know, like most of them, you get beat up on Twitter and you come groveling back and acting like you were a nice person that whole time and it was just a bad year. So she pulled that off, I think, and she looked pretty good. But, man, when they showed her in that testimonial thing or whatever, what do you call them, diary rooms on this show? Confessionals interviews? Yeah. When they showed her there, wow, Mickey Rourke. Oh, my God, that face.

What is she doing? It's always been like that no it's worse than ever because when she was at lunch with brandy she looked okay but then oof up close and freshly fillered oof yeah well my my parents tv is has this weird thing where like um everything's like a little bit overexposed so maybe that worked in her favor with me so maybe like maybe like some of the weirder rubbery aspects of her face were were sort of bleached out by the tv no yeah no it was up close um here i'll send you a picture of it right now so you can see it but yeah it was scary um so adrian malouf i think she's dealing with brandy well because she's not really saying anything

except she's nodding and staying far away she's like staying back and nodding and that's pretty much all you can do with brandy because brandy of course brandy's apology was it wasn't an apology it was i didn't mean to hurt your friend your family you know i just did it because i was friends with lisa and you guys weren't getting along it's like yeah and i like that i like that adrian in the interview sort of called out called her out and just like listen listen, you did this. You've got to take accountability. You're trying to pin it on Lisa.

It's not Lisa. I'm glad that Adrian didn't actually fall for the bait. God, there's dogs and babies. I mean, what the hell? I know. Thanksgiving. It's like the real Thanksgiving. My mom's going to call to see how much turkey I'm going to eat tomorrow and make sure I don't go overboard.

You be quiet. Did you see that article in The Onion? By the way, this is off topic. There's an article in The Onion yesterday that was like this just in news report is that none of the good cousins are coming to Thanksgiving. They're like

the family's saddened to learn that Ken and Samantha aren't coming to Thanksgiving, which means that none of the good cousins are coming. And we're only left with so-and-so who is an introvert and so-and-so who's going to probably spend the entire time in the kitchen with mom. Yeah. Drunk Aunt Lulu. But all my cousins are cool. So all the good cousins are here at my Thanksgiving tomorrow.

My family is not really talking oh okay none of the lebanese are talking to each other so that's over lebanese thanksgiving is dead thanks a lot lebanese people all right um so yolanda speaking of annoying family members yolanda with okay these they need to get rid of yolanda and brandy i think the rest of them are doing fine even Kyle I think will eventually be fine because she's a sister but Yolanda okay Yolanda's gonna be talking about her child who's going to college

don't give a fuck got not one fuck what is she gonna do after this season this is now like this is now gonna be the second season in a row of like oh my baby is going off to college now like I can't deal with it anymore This is now going to be the second season in a row of like, oh, my baby is going off to college now. Like, I can't deal with it anymore. After a year of the tabloids insisting that David has been having an affair and is probably leaving Yolanda, we get the scene of Yolanda in her lingerie trying to seduce her husband.

Which, let's go back to Ramona Singer and Mario Singer, shall we? Well, and then what's his face david foster i forgot what he was saying but i was just like oh god this guy's the biggest bullshitter in the world that guy's a douchebag yeah he's like oh you know he's like when i when i see her standing there she's just she's beautiful i you know it's just i'm so lucky to have a woman like her in my life it's like like please he's gross he's like wow babe that wow he didn't even say babe he's just like wow that's cute wow what a cute lingerie i'm so lucky i'm the luckiest man but i'm going to shanghai for child sex like get out of here david foster but i was

uh very jealous of their beachside view from their dining room that were they're only doing that because they're only doing that because they can't sell their house okay i was reading this article on stupid housewives about them trying to sell that house it's been um appraised at like 13 million dollars they're trying to sell it for 26 million dollars and they lowered it to like 24 million bitch you ain't selling that it's on the freeway did they mention that there is a like free bazaar on their property do you want to buy broom skirt it is on street it is on our properties by the way we have to talk about the fact that lisa uh lisa vanderpump has a new maid and it's like the same story as lydia from melbourne she's

like she's like well i saw her walking along the street and i gave her a ride and i decided to hire her it's like what's with these like which women are hiring people directly along the street and i gave her a ride and i decided to hire her it's like what's with these like which women are hiring people directly off the street well you know it's hard because um there's not like a network necessarily of illegal maids like one thing i was talking about in the recap is you know lisa knows how to do illegal immigration properly like the good thing about illegal immigration is if you were hiring like american cleaning ladies the cost of that like one maid would cost you as much as a house a year you can't just have a live-in american maid but you get illegals you can get like five of them for the price of a haircut yeah lisa's just like driving down the street Being like get in the car darling Alright you do the laundry

You make the tea Rosie, Rosalita When I need to pinch someone's arm really hard Because I'm angry at Brandy Come up here and let me pinch you Like a stress ball They should I could just watch an hour of them bossing around Magdalena

Magdalena could I have a tea Magdalena I'll have bossing around Magdalena Magdalena, could I have a tea? Then it's like another boss, Magdalena, I'll have a tea also Magdalena, pardon me Magdalena Could I have a crumpet with a tea please? What's the other It's Rocio Rocio and Magdalena Yeah, she's like, Rocio darling

Could you rub my feet? She's like, no I don't do feet She's like, alright, send Magdalena Magdalena Magdalena like has to do all the stuff Rocio doesn't want to do. Yeah, Magdalena, like, shows up a little trite. Mrs. They just have their own sitcom, Ro and Mags. Yeah, because Rocio did not look happy that she had to share screen time with Mags.

Well, she's not going to get the hand-me-downs anymore right don't wasn't the whole thing they gave her like rosio all these like things oh no they don't give her the things never mind wasn't that like they were someone's yeah they give her a lot of clothes lisa was saying she gives her a lot of clothes and she's spoiled because rosio's like can i have this and she's like no darling that's brand new you. Wait till next season. And that's really sad because, you know, where do Jiggy's clothes go to? One of them, the gardener's probably in Jiggy's old tuxes. It probably goes to the pink dog. You know, the nameless pink dog.

They just call it pink dog? Yeah, that's like Ken's future old man wig. Yeah. When your hair goes blue, I'll be pink, darling. Lisa gets $1,000 shirts made that have Lisa Vanderpump that look like that fake diamond stitching at Disneyland that they put Minnie Mouse on everything. I know. I think Michael Cook wrote on our Facebook page. He's like, oh, how interesting to see that Lisa Vanderpump gets her shirts tailored by Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor.

Totally. She does look like her. Okay. I'm looking through this recap. Oh, Ben. Adrian Maloof's face. I'm so using this for the cover today. Yikes.

Okay. Do it, Ronnie. I'm seeing what else is here. I think that was pretty much it for Beverly Hills, right? Yeah. I think we did it. I think we did it. I think we did it. That's all I wrote down.

I'm bored of even talking about that stupid show. Brandy, you're boring me. I'm sorry, audience, if I bored you during that whole thing, but Brandy. Okay? Well, you know what? Next week, Eileen Davidson finally makes her appearance, and I think we're going to start kicking into high gear. Yay! I hope she brings it. I hear she's going to turn kicking into high gear. Yay! I hope she brings it.

I hear she's going to turn evil, so I love it. Because she's a good villain on days. Yeah, and I think that she and Lisa Renna will make for a good TV. I was looking for new Days clips with her, and I found a really good Susan Banks one of her on Days of Our Lives. Elvis, I'm so scared of that stephano he is mean mean mean elvis sounds like porsche kind of she does have that fakey voice and those big teeth uh-huh you want to talk about that one next okay here's all the notes i wrote for atlanta

um i'm thankful that kenya did shakes Shakespeare because that shit was hilarious wait what was her Shakespeare I don't remember she started blaring on about like thou who thus does thouest does thou and thus Shakespeare honey I was like oh no Kenya

now Kenya knows how to do the victim thing and make it fun because yeah exactly victimhood is hilarious well it's so clunky first of all there are a few things it's very clunky she's played she makes herself a massive victim over very small things and um she yeah that's pretty much it i'm thankful for those two reasons. She's hilarious. And I was really surprised that when Phaedra found out about Apollo lying about Kenya, that Phaedra was like, oh, poor Kenya. I owe her an apology.

I was like, what? I know. I was surprised, too. Because, of course, yes, okay, that was a lie that she was saying that she, whatever he was saying they hooked up whatever we all know the lie but kenya's still an asshole and she was way before he said that so i'm confused yeah no and i i'm imagining that that's probably something that's going to come out maybe next week because it looks like candy gives some sort of apology to kenya and then kenya's like you know it looks like she gives some sort of apology to Kenya and then Kenya is like – it looks like she then says to Candy, like, you can't apologize and then still throw dirt at me. So I'm assuming that's what the gist of that is going to be like.

What's happening to that baby? The baby has fallen out of the refrigerator now. No. Michelle's making – it looks like some sort of stuffing. Do you like stuffings? She's making chicken nuggets. No, I'm good now. Do you watch some of these? She's making chicken nuggets. No, I'm good now. Thank you.

But you are making stuffing too, right? I'm making stuffing. Yeah. Yeah. She's making stuffing while I yammer around. Yammer here. It must be interesting for Michelle because she's only hearing one half of this because my headphones are in. So she probably hears me fall into these strange accents.

Wait until Michelle hears my candy burris accent. It's funny. So last week when we did the podcast, we had guest on we had ira from buzzfeed and you know i don't know ira very well and you know i was feeling a little shy to do my candy burris uh voice you know i don't know if you noticed that ronnie but i was i was a little shy for you that's scary that's a scary one to pull out just out of nowhere yeah it's scary and like you know you know me i love to do my strange candy boys the good thing the good thing with michelle that's my impression of your impression well the good thing with michelle is that she's heard me she's known

me for so long that i could do any weird make any weird noises and she'll be okay with it you know so if i do my... Yeah, as long as I take care of the baby. That's the name of the Lifetime movie. As long as he takes care of the baby. Could you imagine what it was like back in the day before, like, monitors and stuff?

They were like, hey, the baby's asleep with the donkey in the other room. I guess, you know, if it's still alive when we come back, we'll just thank, you know, Jehoshaphat. Yeah. Honestly, it's amazing. Anyone we come back, we'll just thank, you know, Jehoshaphat. Yeah. Honestly, it's amazing anyone was able to survive prior to, like, 1995.

Totally. There's pictures of me when I'm a baby with, like, my mom's holding me a glass of wine and there's a cigarette dangling from her mouth. I'm surprised there wasn't a cigarette dangling from your mouth. Like, as a pacifier. Not until I was 12.ling from your mouth like as a pacifier I had the cigarette as a pacifier Michelle is shocked Michelle we're talking about how it's amazing that like what babies

and parents did like before the 90s those sirens man sirens ever since the Ferguson thing even here we're going crazy I'm just staying the hell inside okay thanks that's it yeah i'm gonna have a peaceful protest a peaceful ferguson protest right here in michelle's apartment no kidding i'm gonna go get me a 14 turkey

from trader joe's and just smell that shit cook for the next two days um so uh anyway uh i don't even want to get derailed on ferguson because that's oh no no we don't have anything I don't even want to get derailed on Ferguson because that's – Oh, no, no. We don't have anything to add to that. It's so sad. There's no way we can talk about Ferguson without probably making everyone mad because it's just such a loaded topic. But anyway, we can talk about Kandi Burris. It's so sad.

well i think ferguson kind of fits in with kenya because that kenya's reaction to like the smallest thing is like turning cars over and starting shit on fire she's like apollo lied about me i'm burning down an auto zone not to imply that that michael brown's death was the smallest thing i think that's no i'm saying kenya's reaction is a huge thing to even no i know no i know yeah i mean that kenya would be demanding well imagine kenya and aviva aviva aviva would be like congratulations you did it you got off the hook where's my banner where's my where's my banner for peacefully protesting that's what she that's what aviva would say but anyway so uh the world burns down around us and we're like what do you think of atlanta That's what Aviva would say But anyway The world burns down around us And we're like what did you think of Atlanta

It's the only way to deal with it This world is totally Messed up right now And if it weren't for Bravo we would have nothing to make us smile Yeah no kidding Amen to that brother That's why I'm thankful for Bravo I think we were talking about Kenya.

So what did Kenya actually do this episode? I can't remember. Kenya is friends with Claudia Jordan, so she mostly just backed her up today. Yeah, Kenya just sort of like spread her filth all over a furniture shop. More or less, right? What do you think of this Claudia Jordan? I'm on board so far you know she's gonna be a mess yeah i like that she is she sort of has uh she has a resting bitch face

and i think i think her claws are gonna come out soon yeah she's gonna be pretty bad i mean and by that i mean deliciously wonderful i have high hopes hopes for her. Yes. And I love that Portia is already totally threatened by her. Well, Portia was out of control. The whole Portia thing, we can just skip right to that, to Portia and Cynthia. Because they had to sit down over their fabricated feud. And Cynthia is now all of a sudden a bitch on wheels but porsche is too and they were so nasty to each other it was like the worst example of of modern women interacting well porsche is just a brat she's like a five-year-old she has no she has no uh feelings

for anybody else's yeah like she shows up an hour late and doesn't even say sorry she's like hello hello cynthia's like you're an hour late she's like oh okay but then cynthia's like the evil stepmother who's gonna hate you no matter what you say yeah so you know you've got those two battling it out neither one of them has a brain cell between them. And that was just painful to listen to. And also, usually in those shows, they'll go to an empty restaurant or they'll seat them in like a private area. But they were in like a Starbucks, basically. Yeah. They were like at a Pete's Coffeehouse.

Well, sitting in the middle of the room, surrounded by people trying not to crack up the whole time. I know. Well, I'm sure it was empty by the time when cynthia got there and then by the time porsche got there you know she was probably like she's like i'm sorry i was waiting for the underground railroad and it just did not come do you know how hard it is to wait underground she's like i put money on my metro card and everything i couldn't even breathe down there i wonder how dead people do it um but uh it was uh it was nasty i mean cynthia was being cynthia was being totally like she was

not open to anything perhaps rightfully so and no so i think what porsche was saying i think porsche was being a total idiot but what she was saying was true. Cynthia's acting like they're friends, and then she's going off and saying different things in interviews depending on where her alliances lie. It's like once she decided her friendship with Nini was over, then she turned against Portia too without even telling Portia just to do it. You know, Cynthia's a fucking idiot, and she's a follower, and she's trying to act like she's got all this gravitas suddenly. It's like, bitch, please. You're only doing that because Kenya's telling you to. And it's so obvious because you can't even form an argument.

And when you're doing it in front of Peter, she's like, but I'm not taking it, Peter. And he's like, yeah, okay, babe. Can I have $20? She's like, sure, honey. Shut up. You're still a wuss. Okay? And those glasses don't make you look smart and

those fillers make you look stupid you're a model age gracefully stop it five words this five words that yeah well either way though i mean yeah i i do see that point uh about like cynthia waffling and everything but also porsche shouldn't like her response should not be to be such a brat about it she should just take the high road but you again, this is a woman who thinks the Underground Railroad is an actual MTA system. So she doesn't – I can't even imagine what she thinks a high road is. Well, Porsche's arguments usually end with your feet are ashy. So what do you expect? That was my favorite Porsche fight, that first one she got in with Kenya, where she's like, Okay, bye, Ashy.

Oh, my God. I'm sad that Portia's not a regular cast member, because she still is wildly entertaining. I think that it's good that she's just still going to be on it, but not be. I don't need to see her at home, sitting in that big cavernous house that she can't afford. Oh, and I love that Cynthia called her out on dating some old man for bags and cars because that has been the rumor that porsche has been a whore and now we know where that rumor is coming from so thanks for clearing that one up yeah i was i think that porsche should be a cast member and not nini i mean what nini all nini did was like she showed up at pia's door and Portia like did this whole – talked about this whole thing.

Portia just gossiped like crazy about Cynthia's party. And then all Nini did was go, the thirst is real, child. The thirst is real, which was funny. It was actually really funny. But like Nini was doing nothing. Portia was more of a cast member than Nini. Nini was doing the friend of role. Yeah, she was just rolling her eyes and making

snarky comments. Nini's pointless. I don't know why we're even dealing with Nini on this show anymore. She needs to go. Yeah, she definitely needs to go. If she's so confident in her career, she needs to just go have it and stop taking her million dollars a year from Housewives. I think she's at like 1.5

million dollars this year or something. I wouldn't be surprised if they canned her. You know, she's not doing anything on the show. She's not entertaining and she's hella expensive. I think that, like, I think her time has come. God, more sirens. What is going on out there?

I'm afraid to go. Don't go. Stay inside. They're probably burning down a Whole Foods out there. Yeah. Good. It's about time. No kidding. Let's protest those lemons being $5. I went to get a zucchini. It was $2.

No. I swear to you, it was $1.70 something. Jesus. Question. Did you see, by the way, Lisa Wu on Watch What Happens? No. She was on Atlanta. And, God, she looks different in a weird way.

She's, like, really aged. So I think she was on there with Candy. And so when Andy did, like, a, Hey, everyone, like, coming up tonight at 11, we have Candy Burris and Lisa Wu. And I was, like, before he said Lisa Wu, I thought for sure. I was, like, oh, look, there I was like, before you said Lisa Woo, I thought for sure, I was like, oh, look, there's like Jack Hay or like Pebbles.

I thought it was like one of the two of them. I was like, oh, it's Candy with like an older black woman. And I'm just going to, and it sort of looks like Jack Hay maybe. Cause you know, like sort of like, you know, Lisa is like half Asian. So she has like the almond shaped eyes. And Jack Hay sort of has that. So I was like, oh, maybe that's like the almond-shaped eyes. And Jack K's room has that.

So I was like, oh, maybe that's like Jack K. Wow, it's Pearl from 227. Wow, that's Marla Gibbs. I think that's Marla Gibbs. This is why Ferguson is a thing right now. And then it was like Lisa Wu. I couldn't believe it. And she was like all like – she kept on like shifting and moving a lot in her seat.

It was very strange. Yeah, Lisa Woo is on some other show now, right? Yes, Hollywood Divas. Hollywood Divas, yeah. I haven't seen it, but Lisa Woo is back. She's back at last. America has a sigh of relief. Wipe those brows.

Lisa Woo is back. It's Lisa Woo Woo. You can go around the neighborhood and stop taking down all those missing signs. We found her. Yes. The great drought has come to an end. Pop culture can breathe again. So what else happened in Atlanta?

Well, so Todd's's daughter i forget her name so she moved in and so candy and todd sat down the girl and riley and it was hilarious because riley riley had some mama joyce in her that's for sure oh my god yes it was honestly like riley but you know though i was i did not disagree disagree with what Riley said because they were asking this girl. She's 18 and it's like now what is she going to do? She's like, I guess I'd like to work in fashion, like maybe work in a fashion line or start a fashion line. Yeah, she's like, I want to start my own fashion line. Oh, wait.

I'm back on baby duty. Back on baby duty. Everyone, get ready. We're going to start a shoe fashion line. Oh, wait. I'm back on baby duty. Back on baby duty. Everyone, get ready. We're going to start a shoe line made out of baby leather. But then, like, I like that. Riley, they're like, see, now, Riley, what do you think about it, Riley? And then Riley's like, well, no, it wouldn't be me because, you know, I'd be in college. So funny.

Yeah, that was pretty shady. And it's funny how they're both looking at each other like they just hate each other's guts already. Come on, girls. My favorite part was when Todd's like, well, what do you guys think about allowance? And Riley's like, I don't want allowance. And he's like, what? Who doesn't want allowance? And she's like, that'll put a limit

on my money see now she can like negotiate and like i don't want no drama don't want no allowance won't be no allowance i love riley i don't care far, she's okay because she hasn't started screaming at people like Mama Joyce yet. Yeah. I used to like Mama Joyce, too. Yeah. No, Riley is an angel. Riley, she's such a lovely girl, and she's so pretty, and she has a good singing voice. Remember that clip?

Yeah, she's so talented. I'm happy for her. I think Candy is a doll, even if she does indulge her mother too much. Yeah. Well, whatever. I, well, whatever. I love Mrs. Candy too. I think she's great. I don't like drama. Don't start none, there won't

be none. Don't start none, won't be none. Don't start no drama. I can't do it too loud. I'm afraid I'm going to wake up the baby. Todd's like, yeah, babe, I'm going to be going to L.A. for a few weeks. She's like, yeah, babe, I'm going to be going to L.A. for a few weeks. She's like, ah, see.

See. Now. See. Now I'm going to be flying direct. Todd. See. See. See.

Now. Oh, candy. What else happened on this show? Oh, Apollo with the lawyer. Oh, my God. This guy, like the only divorce attorney in all of Atlanta. This guy is a professional leech on this cast at this point. And really, he's done nothing for the men on this show.

I don't know why they keep going to him. Todd never got what he wanted and still got married. And then he sent his friend to him. Todd, why would you do that to your friend? You know he's not good. Todd, you signed the prenup. That means your lawyer did nothing for you. Why are you sending somebody else to him? This guy has represented Nini, Portia, Todd, and now Apollo.

Oh, my God. But I love Apollo just trying to sound intelligent where he kind of squints his eyes and uses what he thinks are big words. And it just doesn't work. squints his eyes and use what he thinks are big words and it just doesn't work. Yeah, but because I'm going to go to jail and then I need to make sure that my sustenance is

still in the substance of the house because, you know, Phaedra's smart and I love her but I hate her too and I've got to know that the sustenance is going to be available in my itineraries. Oh no. There's a lot of therefore and to the effects of

and perpetuity. It's like, to the effect that I'm the man of the household in perpetuity. Therefore, it is in fact hence, I need to make sure that I am taken care of in perpetuity for the effect that therein

I am the father. He is smart. He is smart have to make sure that i am taken care of in perpetuity for the effect that therein i am uh the father he is smart he's smart enough to know that he's screwed when he gets out of jail though because phedra ain't giving him shit he signed a prenup yeah and unless he's got actual evidence to blackmail her with which i don't think he's smart enough to even keep uh he's screwed and she's not giving him anything and he's not going to get any kind of alimony or anything. Yeah, and I like how he is sort of saying like, yeah, when I get out of jail, I'm not going to have anything and I'm basically going to have to resort to a life of crime again.

It's like, dude, why don't you just go work at McDonald's, at the very least, go to McDonald's. Yeah, he's like, I'm not going to go from, what did he say? Season ticket holder. Yeah, I'm a season ticket holder and working at Starbucks or something. Oh oh yeah mcdonald's yeah i'm like guess what it's atlanta like i'm sure everyone who's a season ticket holder in atlanta is also working at burkerton yeah just keep working no one has money down there rich who will take care of you you're hot okay you've got a leg up all i honestly he should just go into porn he could do that he probably will and he will literally have a leg up he will literally like i would watch that yeah i'd watch it once but you know he's like one of

those guys who would be in porn and they'd be really great at the sex part but then when you turn up the volume they'd be like they'd be making horrible Billy, yeah, take it. Yeah. Yeah, take it. Oh, yeah, doctor. Oh. Did somebody here order a pizza? Is there a sink that needs to be

repaired? Slowly turning him into Edith Bunker. Hey, Archie. I got a pizza. i got a pizza i got a pizza by the way apollo came over got a pizza for some girls danny slapped someone with his dick i would like to mention michelle just walked back in just as i was saying slap someone with his dick those were the days I would like to mention Michelle just walked back in just as I was saying

just as we had a lovely all in the family song about someone getting slapped in the face with their dick oh Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards played by HBO's Industries Myhala Harolderald, a brilliant

scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost?

Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less, and a little bit more. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Baby Judy, that's good news.

Oh, the baby's making noise. Good timing. Like, ah. duty that's good news oh the baby's making noise good timing like ah i think the i think the baby heard uh the all in the family theme song i think the baby i want to walk in yeah um so what else happened on this i think could you stick to a diet if the mcdonald's just walked right past you putting groceries away no never never uh i think that we're done with housewives of atlanta ain't we ain't we uh why don't we go on to um vanderpump rules um that show's hilarious so good even when nothing's happening even just reading my notes which i no longer understand but beer on the street threading nose shirt dressed up for cable box, panic attack.

Even Jax can do that. John cries. Who's John? Was I a trooper? Was I a trooper? Could you make me a tea without a panic attack? So funny. So where do we even begin?

I guess one thing was that Jax got a nose job. Which I think is actually really's actually and his eyebrows threaded that whole first scene of the guys drinking beer that they were pouring for themselves on the street and then taking getting drunk and going to get their eyebrows threaded is while talking about how one of the girlfriends is emasculating one and the other one's about to get a nose job because of a what do you call it a deviated septum yeah deviated septum that was the like the best example of the young american male and lisa later on in the episode when she's like i don't understand these american men they're getting their eyebrows threaded

one of them got a nose job for pure vanity and what was the other thing i don't know but that shit was hilarious and it was a true representation of the modern american male yeah no uh i thought i thought that the entire thing was hilarious i liked tom micromanaging his eyebrow threading um i liked i liked jack's by the way jack's um his surgeon his plastic surgeon was really hot did you notice that guy he was hot yeah he was cute hello um and i love that the surgeon had a big old honking nose too you know i love surgeons who are confident enough to not be like plastic faced they're like ha ha you're not proud of your you're not confident in yourself but i am i don't give a fuck because i'm rich off the money your ugliness brought me yay me um i liked uh well i felt like a lot of the stuff when he was recovering in his home i felt like that all felt very staged like i felt like everything

was kind of like it all just felt fake but i still thought it was funny when sheena came over sheena she's so pretty when she's not wearing like 10 pounds of makeup too i mean she's pretty with her 10 pounds of makeup but she's like a such a legit pretty girl she is pretty and she's actually i mean she's done some stuff to her face i don't think it's necessarily surgery but i think maybe like fillers or this or that it's like it's really unnecessary she didn't have to do that yeah i think she just got a little carried away that you know they just don't understand the time between getting your botox and letting it settle and also fillers like you don't just walk out looking normal you need to

give it a couple weeks like i think that's lisa rena's thing too she's like i'm gonna be on tv tomorrow i better go fill up no yeah do that two weeks before so you're not numb. Yeah. Good Lord. Do I have to teach you people everything? Yeah. I'm trying to remember the things that happened. Well, someone on our Facebook was saying Jax has a boner when he's getting operated on.

And I rewind it three times to see. And so, of course, I sat there rewinding it to see and i could not find a boner but i was sitting there like five times like is it a boner and then i got on my computer and slow mode it was like is it a boner and then i realized how little i have going on in my life i just want to know how is it that jack's my friends and i were emailing about this. He really has gotten so fat in the face and yet his body is still like fantastic. How does that work? Fillers.

Yeah. He's old. Yeah. Everybody's getting fillers now. Yeah. Except me. I fill my face with good old-fashioned cholesterol. I do it the natural way by eating a lot of M&Ms.

Yes, that's the best way. Who needs fillers when you've got junk food? Yeah, natural fillers. Everybody needs to go back to eating fat and M&Ms. Well, I think that fat is actually people are – fat is now becoming more accepted as like part of a healthy diet. Well, not the kind I'm talking about. Not Papa John's for Christ's sake. Yeah, not Papa John's fat.

Oh yeah, now sugar is evil. Yeah, sugar is the bad one now. I made, I've been on a plan trying to get myself back in some kind of working order. And last night, I really realized how far I've let this go because I made

a cauliflower pizza crust. Okay? Wow. which is basically like a piece of wet sponge with garlic powder on it and i ate it i was like this is delicious so there you go that's where the world is going by the way um uh adriana you know adriana you comment on our facebook page a lot and i have no idea how to say your last name well it's a great sock great sock i think there's so many there's so many like accents there's like an accent on an e under an e and then like over a k and around around an a i'm like what the hell it's like it's like emoticons dangling everywhere um my name is martini glass smiley face wink wink by the way i tried to draw i tried to write an emoticon uh on the facebook page and i messed up i made a shark but um so

adriana adriana says and i totally thought the same thing she goes am i the only one who was surprised jacks knew what morgan stanley is at one point, Tom Schwartz is talking about how he had this panic attack when he was in the middle of his first shift and 30 minutes into his first shift at Pump, he didn't know how to use the system, the POS system, the point-of-sale system, and he just freaked out and left.

And so he was all nervous about it afterwards and Jax was like, listen, you didn't walk out of a job at Morgan Stanley. You walked out of a bartending gig, which was like surprisingly salient of Jax. But I was like, how does Jax know what Morgan Stanley is? I'm surprised he wasn't like, who's Morgan Stanley? Can I date her? I'm going to get a tattoo of Morgan Stanley on my bicep because I'm in love with her.

That's the girl who gave me syphilis. Dating this new girl named Morgan Stanley on my bicep because I'm in love with her. That's the girl who gave me syphilis. She gave me this new girl named Morgan Stanley. She sends me all these letters in the mail. They're really love letters. It's sort of weird because a lot of them are just a bunch of numbers, but I think that's her code. I think it's a playful game. Anyway, I'm going to go fuck her.

I love that the friends got him a shirt with his nose on it. His old nose. They're also doing this thing on Vanderpump Rules, this Schindler's List thing, which is so funny, where every flashback they show black and white unless someone is wearing pink. And then they'll show pink because that's Lisa's color.

You guys know that this is from a movie about the Holocaust, right? It's like, where's the little girl? The show is full of so many just little fun details. And somebody last week pointed out, and when the opening credits came on this week, I laughed out loud because someone on Facebook pointed out

that the opening is all the waiters being so bad that they're all spilling their drinks. I know. Actually, I always think that. I always think it's the funniest thing. They would just like stop and the machines go flying forward. So did you see that Jennifer Lawrence was at Pump like over the weekend?

Yeah, she's a huge Braves fan. Yeah. Oh, two things. So she was at Pump and she and her friends tried to – they like recreated the Banner Pump Rules opening credits, which I thought was hilarious. So here's my second thing. I think we have to somehow create some sort of movement to get Jennifer Lawrence to come on this podcast. She loves Bravo. Why would she not come on other than the fact that she's an Oscar-winning actress in the top movies in the country?

Well, maybe we'll be casting a J-law movie and we can we can get her on here i say let's mobilize our listeners and say listeners put the pressure on somehow somehow we have to get jennifer lawrence on our show i wouldn't even know what to say i'd be, hi, you're so pretty. I would, I say, listen, some, some, someone that we listen, our, our shows get like somewhere between eight to 10,000, uh, listens per episode. So someone of the 10,000 people, someone has got to have an in with Jennifer Lawrence, right? Right. Yeah.

I mean, you never know. I thought this is what you were gonna say to her i thought this you were giving me the pitch to her you know my jay law we've got 10 000 people no no my pitch to listen to this podcast if you multiply that by a 15 movie ticket that's a lot of money for your movie will you come on yeah because i know that i know that mahang jay part one underperformed so you know if maybe if you had our help it did well in the context of hunger games like i'll be there tomorrow or it only earned 124 million as opposed to 150 in one weekend god either way i say let's mobilize the masses let's get let's get the people let's get let's get jayla crying if she comes on here i'll start crying i'll be like chris farley

i'll be like remember hunger games remember when you were in that movie that was so cool we can promise her that if she comes on the show we'll just all sit and cry we'll just have let's cry i'm sure she loves that we'll all just cry together um you know who else went to sir lance bass wow so just as impressive oh yeah looking very dandy in his dapper dapper hair and his silent hot husband named tarzan. Turkey, I thought. Oh, Turkey. Yeah, that's right. Don't they call him Turkey?

Yeah, I guess it is Turkey. His last name is Turkmenistan or Turkistan. I thought it was Tarzan. Oh, maybe it is Tarzan. I thought it was Turkey. Let's look it up. Either way. Well, so Lisa was having dinner with them.

And when she was having dinner with them, James, the British busboy, came by begging for his job again. And so Peter – so James goes up to Peter. He's like, I just came here to speak to Lisa. Do you want to talk about getting my job back? And so then Peter goes into Lisa and he's like, oh, by the way, I'm sorry to interrupt, but James is here. The fired busboy is here. Do you have a moment to talk to him? She's like, no, he's a pain in in my ass but we do need bussers i'm like oh please like they're so hard

to find i mean she found a cleaning lady walking up her street she can't find a bus boy lisa lisa is just such an unapologetic bitch on this show i love it and i love that james was like oh well you know my parents and and Lisa have been friends for years. And so I'm sure I'll get my job back because if not, she'd be quite a monster. And then this is right after Lisa last week was like, I've met his mother once at a party or something. He's telling everyone we're best friends. It's not the case. I barely know his mother.

So I love that. That Lisa doesn't even give a crap that she's hurting some poor lady's feelings because you know that lady is horrified and she's yeah because they're they're not as rude well they're ruder in a way i guess over there but they also are like try to pretend they have manners you know she's probably like mortified in high society yeah well one thing that i really enjoyed with james was that he and Horseface, number one, were at a gym, sort of hanging out and talking. And they were, again, talking about Tom and Ariana. And I just thought it was funny because Horseface was like, you know, when I see them, they're not even like a real couple. They're just like a joke i'm like you realize you're saying this as we're watching you with the 21 year old bus boy who claims to be a dj and drives a bmw but again

as a bus boy like you want to talk about joke relationships i mean like how like there's just never been anyone who has been the kettle and pot situation as much as kristin yeah kristin kristen yeah kristen needs to kind of go away now she's she served her purpose seriously seriously tom we don't have to be best friends or anything i love when stassi was dared to go over to their table and talk and just totally dissed everybody and then walked away and then she's like that went better than i thought seriously and then she goes over she's she's like well you know like me and tom like tom we've put in the past like it's all in the past now seriously what about stacy pretending that she's um like jackie onassis now that she's not a waiter because she's married to a rich or she's dating a rich person oh my god like when she's like now that I've been away for five months, I realize how awful all these people are.

Like, I see it now. I'm like, no, I don't think you actually see it because you're still participating in it and you're still hanging out with them. And you're still associating yourself. And you're still the one who's behaving the best way. She's like, why are you even friends with her? Why are you talking to her? I mean, I don't understand you guys. She fucked him.

You fucked her. They fucked them. I mean, this is disgusting disgusting you people are crazy i i um i wish she would get back to not dressing so matronly i don't know why that bothers me it really bothers me when when people when when women dress matronly when they're 24 25 michelle is nodding yes michelle by the way is currently eating i believe chicken chicken nuggets on the couch and nodding her head at the matronly comment. Well, it's true. People always act, you know, when you're young,

you always want to look older. And then when you're older, you always want to look younger. You know, you just can't fucking win. Right. Well, you know, Stassi is, you know, for some reason she's always viewed herself as like a style maven. But I think actually her style is worse this season than it's ever been yeah i mean everything she wears is like well she started with that mom hair yeah yeah it's just gone slowly slowly downhill she has all these little blazers i mean i feel like

a lot of times blazers now again i'm someone who actually has very little fashion sense but i feel like when women wear blazers it makes them look older right michelle i don't have a thought on that but i think just in general she's trying to be she's trying to act like she's 40 but people who are 40 don't want to be 40 so just stop it because you're pissing us off you know yeah yeah and by the way michelle says it depends on the context like in a business context and of course in a business context a blazer is fine but i think if you're trying to be like young and hip um and like hollywood uh i think a blazer is not always the right choice no like girls in hollywood dress with micro mini short things and then you know like a lucy through wife beater with a black bra or something i mean come on exactly

if you're not dressed like a whore you're not doing it right where do you think you are young lady it's like you saw beauty and the beast on broadway so now you think you're cultured she's gonna start walking around with a pipe next week i don't i feel like it just makes her look like bett midler in the 80s oh my god bett middler calling ariana grande a whore is the best did she is that what happened is that something that happened well she's saying oh honey you don't have to dress like a whore just to get attention you're talented you know you don't need to be a whore it's like bitch please you came from the bathhouses making fucking dick jokes what are you talking about i'm all for it i mean even though i don't i don't

think that ariana grande dresses like a whore but necessarily but uh i think it's i love when when uh people like bet middler suddenly try to get into the mix like they're suddenly mature like that like bet middler going up to ariana grande is like the most random feud i'm on bet middler's side no matter what i'm automatically on bet middler's side yeah michelle just goes you love her like like ben you might as well just let the audience know that you do love that in our dna i loved i love that middler too but she's kind of full of shit big business was sort of like a turning point in my life oh my god is a frog's ass watertight i love big business i want to do a one-man rock opera of big business with different wigs and a mirror do you know can i tell you

something i very frequently get the uh musical score of big business in my head and that was like a score that was never released on cd because it's like generic synthesizer music there's like a like the montage music when when bet mid when country bet middler goes walking down fifth avenue goes and then a saxophone comes in you can imagine David Foster overseeing it that was a golden era of film yeah that was a great time

big business, soap dish I have big business on glue I love big business I used to have that on DVD I was with you when I got it I have Big Business on Blu-ray. Blu-ray. I love Big Business. Actually, Michelle, I was with you when I got it. I was with you. I found it for $5 at Target. Perhaps the greatest deal in Target history.

$5, Big Business, Blu-ray. That movie holds up. I've watched a few movies from that time recently, just randomly. And one of them was Troop Beverly Hills. Does not hold up. I've actually never seen Troop Beverly Hills. Doesn't work the same. They should remake that with somebody fabulous. Are you implying that Shelley Long is not fabulous?

I thought so at the time. I really liked Shelley Long. But that movie did not hold up. It was like a puppet show. No to that movie. No. I'm sure. Anyway, back to Bravo Leans. where were we um stassi's

an old lady now oh well we should talk a little bit about schwartz uh schwartz and his panic attack yeah panic attack is next so yeah basically he couldn't handle a bartending gig and i understand that it's like scary and stressful but you know when you're in hollywood uh if you are like a bartender and you're doing a bad job you know it's like it doesn't matter you know like no one does a good job especially at somewhere like pump where they're basically there to see lisa possibly pass by or ken holding jiggy and like you drink a gigantic 20 martini like exactly how hard can it be no one's expecting the service to be good did you see it was an audition to get a fucking job there that she made people take off their shirts for so yeah and if anyone is going

into the pump bar and are they want to try one of the specialty cocktails and are expecting anything that tastes actually any good that's their fault you know like because there's no way i mean like jacks is a bartender there you know you like tom should not have stressed out about making sure that the cocktail was right and good because it's gonna it's gonna be crap even if it was made perfectly yeah and uh i love that he left because he's well first of all being in the weeds when you're a sir you know i'm a i used to be a waiter so that's that's terrifying when you're in the weeds and you just want to please people and you can't and everybody hates you and they like hate you to your face like that's harsh to deal with yeah that's not an easy part of humanity i get it i would have nightmares you

know every waiter has nightmares where you have all these tables and you can't get to them and it's just it just doesn't work out and they'll go on all night long and i'll wake up still sweaty and terrified so i get it but then i love when his girlfriend is just like oh my god even jacks can do this job she has a point though i mean there's two other people there who cares it's not brain surgery you pour the drink who cares yeah exactly it's and the thing is that he's like whoever was ordering from him probably already knew him from tv and was just already happy just to be talking with him if he said like hold on a second i'm sorry it's like my first day or i'm just learning like i'm really really sorry like there's just so many ways around it i remember one time when i was

like 13 or 14 um i like agreed to be like do you like the coat check at my synagogue for some event there's like some some event happened at my synagogue i was like okay i'll do coat check oh my god that's terrifying coat check was because, all these coats come in all at once. And you have to, like, hang them up and then, like, take a thing and give it to people. It sounds so simple. But when you have, like, 100 coats, all of a sudden, it's, like, it's really hard and scary. And it's, like, it's terrifying. But if you have the fear in your eyes, people may get frustrated.

But I think they understand. There understand there's like empathy that happens you have to you definitely have to have like a certain air of confidence people just don't fuck with you you know there's so many there's so much right now about poor people uprising and just they're fed up and they deserve to get paid more and people are like oh please those are no skill jobs why the fuck would you make more money for having no skills and not going to college and no no no no but you know what as someone who's been a low skill worker for a very long time the low skill work is sometimes the hardest fucking thing to do you know like you don't really understand how painful working a coat check can be until you've actually had to do it it's scary as hell yeah coat checks like you know towards the end of the night when people needed to go it it's scary as hell yeah code checks like you know

towards the end of the night when people needed to go it was fine i mean the only time it gets really scary is if you've like messed up but when it's like a thing when when people everyone ever arrives at once you know or if everyone departs at once like valets i feel so bad for valets when like an event lets out and then all of a sudden they have to run back and forth like that is hard that's super super hard and difficult yeah i mean look at those walmart workers they just want like ten dollars i mean they're not even asking for much and people are like why would you pay why would we pay you to work at walmart that's basically you know a monkey job and you know how would you feel if you had to stand there at the entrance and say hi to people all day that just called you a retard and slapped you on the back of the head

with a banana i wouldn't want to work at walmart either that shit that's scary come on yeah yeah i feel bad for the poor people just no one on vanderpump rules i feel bad for the walmart workers when you get trampled tomorrow night because that's gonna happen there will be traveling black friday then we get all those videos i love black friday riot videos those are my favorite oh well i'll talk about it on the bonus episode. But yeah, that's going to be pretty amazing. And I'm so glad that I'm poor again this year because I won't have to go out there.

Yeah. Well, first of all, I mean, doesn't everyone know about Amazon? Like, just order it online. I still haven't really quite understood that yet. I think a lot of it should just be clothes that you're buying out because you have to try that shit on but everything else yeah buy online yeah like i can't wait for i can't wait for black friday deals i um i mean i don't really have too much to get

but i've really gotten into board games over the past few weeks i've got i'm just like this really dorky side of me has come out and i'm hoping to buy find some good deals on board games because board games have gotten expensive they're like 45 i'm like whoa yeah really well some some are like more like 30 or 25 but like the good ones are like 45 so i'm hoping that they may get like marked down to like 25 or 20 like i have two games i really want to get and they're expensive and i'm like you know i'm i'm poor i'm like driving uber I can't just like drop $45 on a board game even though I already have

yeah that's a lot that's a lot for a stupid game it's fine for one game but I don't want to get in the habit of over and over and over again but anyway should we move on to Euros of Hollywood? well we have a couple more things.

Oh, by all means. Why does Jackson have a dildo in his bed? Oh, I think they gave him the dildo. Was that ever addressed? No, they gave it to him as a present. Who did? His friends? Yeah, as like a joke.

Because it's like the whole thing is that when someone's passed out, they draw a penis on their face. So since they didn't do that, they got him a dildo. You know, because it's a the whole thing is that when someone's passed out they draw a penis on their face so since they didn't do that they got him a dildo you know because it's very okay i was like what is he doing because i saw him lay down and then pull out a dildo and i was like oh oh no um and then i just wrote i love lisa making fun of tom for having a panic attack i guess that is it darn it it felt like there was so much more that was there was a there's i mean there's so well they got into a big fight at the okay uh magazine party that was a party that i was actually supposed to go to with katie katie went to that party and uh and she invited me and i just i couldn't make it and i was so bummed because she said like she had been tipped

off that like the vanderpump kid vanderpump rules kids would be there, and that Kristen and James would be there, and no one knew, and there was going to be a surprise, and da-da-da-da-da. But I actually, so in anticipation of this episode, I had a lot of FOMO, because I was like, oh no, this is the party I didn't get to go to, and if they have a big fight, I'm going to be so mad that I missed it. But I think it was pretty tame.

Yeah, it looks stupid. So stupid. And it's like Stassi says those uh those sponsored hollywood parties it's like the same d-list people go over and over just drink oh yeah and like congratulate each other for being on tv or something i know seriously seriously seriously tom seriously seriously uh so last but definitely not least are the euros of hollywood of hollywood i just love this show i i wonder if anyone's watching it probably not but i love it everyone hates this show but i'm laughing so much at this show and when massimo booked an acting job

i almost started crying because he was so cute yeah you know massimo seems so so sweet and so nice i've achieved the american dream he's like i have i now have a i have a role in a movie i'm so happy now like i have finally achieved the stardom and it's like some cheap like direct to dvd movie shot in romania where he's like a killer of some sort he's called the handler he's like no my name is handler and i would like to tell all of the children out there you can do it too just keep trying like oh no girl you're like an extra you need to you need to save the speech but it was still so cute when he was crying you know because i get it too you know like you know being a writer you know being up for gigs like when you do finally land something it's just it's like this amazing feeling and i have a lot

of friends who are actors and you know they you know actors especially actors go through so much rejection so you know i was happy for him even if it is some stupid job like whatever a job is a job yeah he's a sweet guy i do like massimo and i like his friendship with fanny he's like will you go over my lines with me and she's like okay she's like i could go over the lines because the lines are my life she's like please stop the spitting. There's no reason for spitting. In Austria, we do not spit.

I have been an artist all my life. I've been an artist all my life. And I have 500 findings. And I write poetry and journal entry on them. This one say, my tummy hurt. Tum-tum hurt, hurt. Ow, tummy. Stop speaking. My mother was a ballerina.

And so I feel like it is very nurtured, the art in me and my life. My life. My life. I noticed that was the word that she says. That sounds like British. I was like, what's it called low class British

she's like this is my life this is it this is my life please stop spitting on my art I was impressed that she's actually got that much art I mean she has she's actually been doing it forever I mean it's like

it may not necessarily be my style but it wasn wasn't just like – it wasn't like on Real Houses of Melbourne where they just like put a bunch of paint on a canvas and then said, oh, look at this. This is hot now. Hers was – there was artistry behind it and skill. Yeah. Yeah, agreed. I was actually shocked. I know. I was impressed.

So Fonny – yeah, Fonny basically just had her art. And then she made up with Leona. But we have to talk about Leona for a second. So here's the thing with Leona. She is claiming that she's 29 years old. Oh, my God. Girl, please. I know. Major girl, please. Major girl, please. No, I know. Major girl, please. Major girl, please. Because, all right,

first of all, I don't know of any 29 year old that dresses like a 55 year old the way she does. Every, if you want to talk about dressing matronly, I mean, she makes Stassi look like a, like a harlot. She, she is wearing these little blazers and like old lady clothing.

And then her apartment is like full of these kind of like antiquated old world picture frames and like teapots it's like so not a 29 year old pop star it's ridiculous um just i've i just looked her up and on wikipedia it says she was born in 1979 no no no leona is not younger than us leona is not 29 well this is this says she would be 35 but still i'm not believing that i'm guessing like 39 or 40 oh definitely 39 definitely no oh wait sorry i thought i was about to get some some special information about them but i'm not i'm not getting it um yeah i think she i think she looks good for her age but not if it's 29 if it's if she's 29 she looks terrible for age but otherwise she looks really good for her age oh my god you guys do yourself a favor

yes and do an image search of bleona just yeah just put in playona and do an image search and look look at this craziness this is crazy i'm looking her up right now oh my god okay one of them she's wearing like a skin tight see-through white glittery thing that goes down to her vajayjay and her boobs are all out actually there's a there's a the second picture of her is not bad that I see. She sort of has a fake tan going on. Yeah, with a blue sparkly top. Yeah, she's pretty. I mean, she's a beautiful woman, I think. She is, but she's not 29 at all.

I also think something's up with her hair. I'm always low to really go into the way people truly look on this podcast. But I have to say, I think she's had like hair plugs. Is that strange for me to say? Hair plugs? Look at her hairline. Just look. You know, it's sort of, I don't know, I could be massively wrong.

It is kind of weird. Like it's kind of fuzzy around the line. Well, it's just like I've noticed all season someone actually that I watched with said like their first instinct was to say that actually her hair probably started lower and she got it like lasered up. But I think it's the other way because I noticed in this past episode there just seemed to be like this weird like thinness where her hairline starts and then like it goes in like an inch and then it suddenly gets thick you know so that's why now i'm like staring at all these pictures of her hairline it's just like it's it just looks something looks awry she's also these images she's definitely definitely not 29 i mean it's just yeah some of these, like this president, this picture with her and LBJ. Yeah, I was about to say. I think she was 29 then.

This picture of her guesting on Gilligan's Island makes me really wondering if she's 29. Wow, a tintype. I didn't know those were on Google Images. I think. Oh, my God. She was one of the disciples. Look at her in Roman times. Oh my god, here's one of her stabbing Caesar.

Wow. Yep, 29 it is. Yeah. Yeah. So she's a mess, but you gotta hand it to her. She is narcissistic

and ballsy enough to just walk into the amas wearing that when nobody knows who the hell she is and now everybody knows who she is it's true she's actually i mean she has she actually made like a small little ripple, pun intended, in pop culture because she was considered the worst dressed at the American Music Awards. I mean because she wore – if you haven't seen it, she wore just a fishnet dress with pasties and a thong. And it looked terrible. It looked terrible. But it did actually what she wanted, which is that it put her on the radar because no one knows who she is. Well, did you see

gross ass frankie grande with i know it on shirt oh and he's like his he's does the exact same big brother pose where his mouth is wide open and he's doing a double p sign yeah he's so gross the two of them were ranked as the worst dress and i think it's it's just funny that they're also both totally insufferable. Yeah, and desperate. Oh, I mean, talk about thirsty. Mostly talentless. We were talking about thirsty people all episode. None of the thirst compares to these two. This is, I mean, Frankie's the thirstiest of them all.

He has been walking through the desert and he is thirsty. Yeah. Oh, Frankel. God bless his little heart. Little nipples. God bless his little heart. Little nipples. God bless his little tiny nipples. Leona, though, she just drives me nuts. But you know what, though? I have to say, Leona's mom, if she didn't have old lady hair, she would be a total fox.

She is beautiful, that woman. Well, yeah. Look, she produced a beautiful daughter. I mean, look, Leona is is beautiful and she's apparently hard working so i can't hate on her too much because at least she's out there like doing something she's just so ridiculous and i guess i guess you learn almost living here that that's a good thing it's so fucking backwards but someone's like you learn to appreciate that in a person you're like you're a piece of shit wow good job but you know she's also kind of

stupid because you know her her lead-off single if you mentioned on this show before is fuck you i'm famous which is such an obnoxious it's an obnoxious uh song title it's an obnoxious thing to sing about like it's really, really awful. So the fact that she is trying to parlay this AMA attention into this single is a real misstep, I think, from her. If she was going to do this, she should have had a hit song lined up

and she did not do that. Well, I think that's what she thinks is her hit song because someone just posted on Facebook that they heard it today on the radio. so they're wait no xm oh well that doesn't count that would they listen to the albanian pop station fuck fuck you i'm famous they're listening to like the the same station that russian restaurants use i'm looking to see um who said that god there's so many comments and facebook added this reply button yeah which now i'm so i'm glad they did it but i'm it's also so freaking confusing because i can't tell what's new yeah damn you people damn it um so let's see so what else happened so the big thing was that

fanny and blena did bury the hatchet sort of because uh sasha's like so you know i'm having a birthday party okay i'm having a birthday party people are flying in my my my partners are flying in okay from germany so like i don't want any of this bad energy i just want to have a good energy and good times okay so i think it's very important for you to buy a hatchet. Okay? That is what we have to do here. I don't like catfights at my party. At my party, there are going to be people who will be dancing in tiny little cages. Yeah. Yeah, I like this.

They're like, okay, so this is the cage. It's like six inches high. There's no room for a beautiful lady to dance in there. Look in there. That is the cage of a midget. Yeah, and it's true. What are they, building a dog crate? They're like, oh, it'll be great.

There'll be a woman in there, not able to move or leave. What the hell is this? Sons of Anarchy? Jesus. I know. And they're like, I'm going to have my birthday party at Saw. This is one of the best restaurants in the city. I love when Europeans sort of awkwardly use the phrase

this is you know like instead of saying you know i think normal english it's not that it's incorrect but sort of fluent people would say like oh it's one of the best restaurants in the city which is not but it's like oh you know this is yeah i don't think i've ever heard that before i love when europeans say that sir is the best restaurant in the city only people only foreigners on bravo think that sir is the best restaurant in the city this is this is Sir is the best restaurant in the city. Only people, only foreigners on Bravo think that Sir is the best restaurant in the city. This is the best restaurant in the city. This is like, this is expensive place. This is, you know, they have like tuna tartare and also burritos.

You know, this is a good restaurant. And, you know, when you have a brand in America, it's very important to show people that you are doing so well. And, you know, that's what we're going to do. Meanwhile, his shop like is closed yeah you know someone posted it on our facebook yeah i saw his shop closed it's so sad like this i'm not even laughing that it's closed because that's so sad but i know i actually use that money i know you know i actually like sasha so much i actually think he's nice he seems like a really good egg and like funny and he seems like someone fun to be around.

And he's also good-looking, which is most important. Yeah, of course. You put those backwards. Yeah. Sasha, he's like a good-looking man, you know? And that's what sort of energy he wants to have at his party. But no wife and children, okay? He has to distract himself so he doesn't think about them late at night.

I love that lunch where Leon is like, hello there. What can I do for you, Fanny? How can I make you? How can I help you in your music career? You know, I just want to do something wonderful for you. And Fanny's like, you know, you're an unlikable person. And I don't like you. You're horrible.

Why are you so ugly and disgusting? And she's like, I'm not dealing you. You're horrible. Why are you so ugly and disgusting? And she's like, I'm not dealing with this. I know. That was just like, see? How do I deal with this? She's like, you know, I have a very easygoing person. And you know, for you, I find it difficult to like you.

In my life, my life, I like a lot of people. But you are someone who's very difficult for me to like disgusting but now they've of course turned it all around on isabel isabel which is well it's sort of just it's in a way it's sort of well they okay all three of them have exaggerated well actually maybe not fanny so much i think that when Fonny said, like, you know, Isabella, I don't see you as someone having a facade in your life. You know, like, I think she was trying to be like, you know, it's hard for me to imagine you being friends with Leona because Leona seems sort of fake, whatever. It was still inappropriate for her to say. But then Isabella, or Isabelle, whatever her name is, she kind of exaggerated it all to Bliona. And then Bliona exaggerated her response.

So I think the two of them are kind of both at fault. But I'm glad that they're turning on Isabella. That'll be fun. Oh, yeah. Because Isabella's horrible. Yeah. She's like, no, I'm Steve Angelo. Isabella is one of those people who's just living off the fame of her husband and bragging about it.

And I don't like that. She's like, we're sort of the Brad and Angelina of Sweden. Except I'm not the Angelinaina and he's not the brad we are like the danny devito andrea perlman of sweden but not even that because they have like good careers we have harry hamlin lisa rinna of sweden oh i'm trying to think of who they would be we'd like the stassi but i like that um one thing isabella's learned to do is to say hello like an la girl because la girls always they have this weird accent and even if they're not born here they eventually get this accent where they say thank you or hello and i love that she's she does that now she She's like, hello. Oh, my God. If you could only hear some of the girls that get into my Uber.

If they're like, can you take me to Melrose? It's my friend Kelly. I'm tired. Rondall, it's really important. Please call me back ASAP. And I call her. What's wrong tonight? My iPhone's not working right.

What do I do? Hello? What is this? Oh, speaking of yours of Hollywood, Michelle just handed me a, what's it called again? A pfeffernusser. A pfeffernusser. That's from Nürburgring. This is something that Fanny likes to eat in Austria. I like a pfeffernüsse? A pfeffernüsse? That's from Nürnberger. This is something that Fanny likes to eat in Austria.

I like pfeffernürens. In all her life, she likes to go to Nürnberger and bring it to Austria and have a pfeffernüren. I used to paint while I ate pfeffernüren. And then my husband told me not to paint but to sing while I ate pfeffernüren.

And then I did it and I choked on it and now I only paint. I made many paintings I ate the Fafanuga. And then I did it and I choked on it. And now I only paint. I made many paintings about Fafanuga. This painting has a general energy written on it about my thoughts on Fafanuga. Today I am going to do a triptych about Fafanusa. I'm going to do black white for Fafnusa in the left panel, blue and red in the middle panel, and green and pink

in the right panel, and all of me for Fafnusa except for me Michelle is so confused right now she's looking at me like she's like, I'd rather have my baby crying right now she's like, I wish I just left you here with my baby i don't know what you're trying to do

you're a horrible person start turning into an asian lady the more we do that funny i love doing the funny impersonation it's one of my most favorite accents in all my life my life all right well i think that'll bring us to the end of our lovely Thanksgiving episode. I'm thankful for Fonny, that little turkey. Yes, and I'm thankful

that we didn't talk about Yana because his storyline was boring. I want to be model in my own thing. I liked it as girlfriend's like, no, that's horrible. You look disgusting. That's awful. Gross.

You're old. Ew. 80s. Thanks. That's spoken like a girl who wants a raise but you have to listen to the American girls because they are American and they won't have sex with you if they don't like you

and remember that audience okay that's your free advice for Thanksgiving free advice so I'm thankful for you, Ronnie, for being a wonderful co-host, and for the audience, for being a wonderful audience. And for everyone who supported us on

Patreon, it's really awesome. We're going to record a bonus episode after this, so if you have supported us on Patreon, you can actually hear the episode. And we've actually been having a lot of fun on these bonus episodes, because we just sort of talk about some Bravo things, we just kind of like shoot the shit, you know.

And I enjoy it. We're going to talk about Survivor which will be good and some other things. Heck yeah. And then we also have a show at the Improv coming up January 25th. So if you are in the LA area, it's going to be at the Hollywood Improv, mark your calendars.

It's going to be really cool and Improv. Mark your calendars. It's going to be really cool. And we want to fill some seats. And if you want to fly in, well then you better book your ticket. So that way it's not expensive for you. Oh my god, if a lot of people fly in, we have to have a big party somewhere and all hang out. Yeah, well, I'll be. We definitely have to. Maybe we'll do it at Sir.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, funny god oh my god funny I don't think we want to subject our poor listeners to that to that place but either way I am thankful for many things including this podcast

yeah me too thanks a lot everybody come on to our facebook page facebook.com slash watch what crappens to talk crap with us patreon.com slash watch what crappens to subscribe and find some extras. And all of our social media links

you can find on WatchWhatCrappens.com Also, I'm doing full recaps of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills all season long, so come to Trash Talk TV to find those. And that's it for me. And by the way, people, come listen to my other podcast, The Banter Blender. I haven't done an episode in about two weeks or so.

I'll try to get one in after Thanksgiving. But it's just like a fun pop culture podcast. It's usually just my friends, although a few weeks ago I had Ryan Cabrera on as my guest. And incidentally, that's my lowest-ranked podcast in like a year. Really? Like ratings-wise or what? Yeah, ratings-wise. podcast in like a year really like ratings wise or what yeah ratings wise i'm like oh good i finally have like a minor celebrity on my podcast and no one cared and no one listened oh that sucks did he retweet and all that good stuff he did not so oh you see then what's the point what's the

point what is the point and it was really embarrassing because i showed up to his place and it was like hot out so i was like sweating because i did up to his place and it was like hot out. So I was like sweating because I did it in person. And so I was like sweating and I didn't want him to think that I was nervous to be interviewing him because it's Ryan Cabrera. But I was afraid that he would think I was like nervous of him or starstruck. But he was super nice though. But I'm just saying I felt embarrassed for myself. Oh, man. I don't even know who that is if that makes you feel better.

Well, I'm thankful for Ryan Cabrera. Well, I'm thankful for you sweating. I'm thankful for my sweat, too, because it's part of the body's regulatory system. So anyway, Get out those toxins, Ben. Yeah. Thanks, everyone, for listening,

and have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Bye, everybody. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years.

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