Watch What Crappens - #155: A Dish Nation Situation

Episode Date: December 3, 2014

This week on "Watch What Crappens," Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) and Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) get down and dirty with the latest feuds on "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" and "Atlanta." We have much to say about Eileen Davidson, Dish Nation, and Brandi Glanville (you don't even want to know about the gay porn tangent wen went on because of Lisa Rinna). Of course, we also tackle "Vanderpump Rules," "Euros of Hollywood," and Bravo's new foray into scripted fare, "Girlfriend's Guide To Divorce." Oh, and there's random "Serial" references throughout. Come listen! You can donate to us at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crap is. Crap is.

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Working on waves in my voice. I can hear the ball in the back of your throat is waving at me. I forget what that's called. So I'm just going to call it the ball at the back of your throat. The thing that shows up when Charlie Brown wails. So anyway, everyone, please, if you go to watchwhatcrappens.com,

you can follow us on all our social media platforms. And Lord knows, we have a lot of them. So rather than list them off, just go to that website. And of course, you can follow us on Facebook,

facebook.com forward slash watchwhatcrappens. It is actually becoming like a blog, you know? We have so much content going up, like silly photos and screenshots and people writing their own stuff and comments. It actually feels like a blog more than a Facebook page. I know. I'm reading the suggestions for today's topics right now, and they're so good. And people were asking for cereal. You were correct, sir.

Yes. Well, guess what? Guess what? For those of you who support us on Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com forward slash watch where crap ends, you get a bonus episode. And we just recorded ours and we talked all about cereal. So if you're obsessed with cereal, the podcast, or the breakfast food, go and listen to that bonus episode because we just had a lot of fun talking about it. And anyway, let's just get to the bravo stuff i could go on and on plugging our shit but let's just get to bravo um well so far what i'm getting from this week's comment thread is everybody hates brandy and porcha yeah that sounds just about right that sounds about right so both act like five-year-olds um both act like they actually make money for themselves. Yep.

Funny shit. Yeah. Well, let's talk about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Because I watched it today, so it's fresh in my brain. I just watched it last night and read a recap. Let's talk about it. You know what's funny? I'm actually on our Facebook page, and I'm seeing that you posted a link to your recap

and the little screen grab that you posted was exactly where I paused it earlier today and when I paused it I thought I should take a picture of this and I didn't and I'm glad I didn't because you did it for me what the her putting on her eye her eye things yeah and like her mouth is just like this

black hole and like one of her nostrils big and then one of them full of cartilage or whatever. What the hell is with noses and Bravo this week? I know, but you know, though I'm, I am,

I'm a big Lisa Rinna fan. I think she's doing a bang up job on this show. So me too. I think she's so fantastic for the show. She should have been on the first place. She's very, very likable. And you feel like she's also very honest.

I don't feel like she's putting up a facade. She's very, you know, she's very much like this is i'm doing this i do this shit i do this shit to get to get ahead in life you know and there's something actually very relatable desperate she's got that like desperate los angeles um need to be liked yeah but and she is like she seems to know everybody but she's that girl in school who's just so nice to everybody but also people probably talk a lot of shit behind her behind her back

she's kind of like you can walk all over her because you know that she'll do anything for like an invite to the right party well although according to the trailer for the season it looks like she'll be throwing a glass so we can't walk over her too much otherwise we'll be walking on broken glass Annie Lennox well I think my guess to see what happens my guess about so we can't walk over her too much. Otherwise, we'll be walking on broken glass, Annie Lennox.

Well, I think my guess to see what happens, my guess about what happens is that she and Kim go at it because Kim is standing up for Brandy because Kim starts drinking again and Brandy's a drunk. So everybody's trying to turn against Brandy for being a drunk. And then Kim's getting defensive for Brandy because, you know, birds of a bottle. And then so Kim's getting defensive for Brandy because, you know, birds of a bottle. And then so Kim gets all defensive and starts talking about what a whore Harry Hamlin is. And then Lisa Rinna throws wine in her face.

And then Kim's like, but hey, you just made it so I'm not sober anymore. I got wine in my eyes. Your fault. And then becomes a drunk again. The end. Yeah, I think that sounds about right. Well, it looks like next week, Lisa Vanderpump will be recruiting Lisa Rinna onto her team,

which is great because Lisa Vanderpump always has the best people on her team. Even Brandy. Before Brandy became awful, Brandy was awesome. Well, Lisa Rinna already knows everybody in real life. Yeah. Like, she's already friends with everybody in real life. They've been trying to get her on the show for two or three seasons. I guess they just haven't been paying her enough.

I don't know why she wasn't coming on. But it's been rumored for a long time that she's going to be a real housewife. And they finally got her on. And so now it's going to be fun to see. I like that she's making it light and fun again. And it's not necessarily about fighting. But now we met Eileenileen and eileen seems like a bitch from hell oh my god i love her kicks him out i was like she's only on for like what maybe

five minutes five or ten minutes and i was like oh wow she's already like one of my top three favorite housewives of all time i was like that was quick That was the most awkward scene I've sat through in a long time. Oh, when she and Lisa were, like, catching up at Marivana? Yes. And she's obviously, in her own mind and in Lisa's mind, so above Lisa. Because Lisa was on Young and the Restless, I guess. I didn't watch that show. But she was on that, apparently.

And then Days of Our Lives, just like Eileen was. But Eileen is like a huge huge star and still is right and so it's awkward because i don't think lisa rena got fired from days of our lives she was really good on it and she was really popular on it she left for something else i don't know yeah if it would get married to gary campbell but that was a long ass time didn't she leave for melrose place or no I don't think she left for that, because I think Melrose Place was later. Either way, I mean, Lisa Rinna,

at her peak, well, it's hard to say at her peak, because at her soap peak... This is kind of her peak. Yeah, you know, the thing is with Lisa Rinna is she's been plugging away. You've got to admire this woman. Look at all the soap stars that have come and gone,

and very few managed to rise above, not rise above it, but sort of poke through and to get to the next level of, like, pop culture awareness. And she's done it, even though she's not an A-lister by any means. Although, wasn't she just in a movie? Didn't she play someone's mom in a movie that was, like, unexpected? She works. For sure. I'm looking this up. I'm looking it up. She was in something. I was like, oh, wow, Lisa Rinna is this person's mom. That's not what I unexpected. She works. I'm going to look this up. I'm looking it up.

She was in something. I was like, oh, wow. Lisa Rinna is this person's mom. That's not what I expected. She works. I mean, a lot of those soap opera people are awful, but I know that Eileen's good because I used to watch her. And Lisa Rinna was good.

And I just saw Lorna from Another World. She was on Sons of Anarchy. I think it was Sons of Anarchy. That's all I've watched. No, I mean, a lot of, obviously, oh, you know think it was Sons of Anarchy that's all I've watched a lot of obviously it was in Community she played a character's mom she played Mark's mom

I don't remember who Mark was I think she's good and she's like a personality that comes through on the screen but it was an awkward scene to watch because Eileen was like acting like she would never talk to Lisa in the studio she'd be like

go back to your little trailer I'll be here in my mega trailer well what I loved about Eileen was that when Lisa's like oh congrats on your congrats on your Emmy and Eileen and she's like where do you keep it and Eileen's like oh I don't know it just goes from room to room like it's in the bedroom in the living room in the kitchen I just don't know

I was like yes yes I love that the potty like dismissiveness almost you know room in the living room in the kitchen i just don't know i was like yes yes yeah it's like wow haughty like dismissiveness almost you know yeah and lisa's like wow well what a blessing well aren't we lucky oh whoa we should we should do this more often and she's like so what's your you know what's your favorite color if you could name your favorite color and eileen's like wow that's a good question she's like i used to be a talk show host yeah you and me hustling taking whatever jobs we can get right and eileen's like bitch i have had the same starring role in a sick yeah i was like i don't think i mean for years okay have fun on your talk show yeah like

uh was this has she won an emmy before i feel like she's probably won emmys or is this recent do you know i was surprised too when she said that because i thought that that can't be her first emmy right well we're about to find out we're about to find out how win emmys for hold on you know her imdb photo her wait google says Eileen Davidson transsexual because it used to be a rumor that she was transgendered so I was looking it up yesterday for the recap to see if there was any proof there wasn't can I tell you something if you go on to Eileen Davidson's IMDB page she has the funniest photo up it's she's basically like giving giving you such bitch face she's like why are you taking a picture of me right now?

She just sort of slumped over and just staring at this totally disdainful, quietly seething way. I love it. Yeah, she really is. Good call, yeah. She's like, why are you on my IMDb page? Don't you have something better to do? It's like, you're afraid to look.

She has only one win. Nine nominations, one win. She's coming out in a, I think this is a movie called Spikosis. Yes. And she's playing the president of the United States. I would see that. She also played, and also in a movie called Symphoria, she plays someone named Vicky Lewis, which would be hilarious if she was actually portraying the actress, Vicky Lewis.

God, this is crazy. This is really crazy if she was playing the little robot. She was also in a movie called Stranger at the Pentagon. She played the character Dina Thor. And then she also was in a movie called Hell and Mr. Fudge. I didn't know she was on

Santa Barbara. Oh, look at her look at her going all the way I don't see her Santa Barbara credit it's not on here for some reason um yeah so it's crazy looking at soap operas the young and the restless from 1984

to 2014 but she wasn't on it that whole time still though she's playing she's playing leading roles on two different sitcom two different soap operas at the same time that's crazy that's crazy that she's doing that um but anyway yeah she's she's talented and i also forgot that when she was on days of our lives she played kristin demira her dorky twin. Well, she wasn't really her twin, but her dorky lookalike. Susan, you're a mean, mean, mean Kristen. But then Susan has a twin named Sister Regina something something.

So she played three characters on that show. That must be, you know, sometimes it must be so fun. Two of them are somewhere which is awesome. It must be so fun to play a soap star some to be a soap star sometimes because that shit does not that just does not happen in network tv it really doesn't and i wish this was like mexico where you didn't have to work out to be on a soap opera i would love to be on a soap i could do it in mexico i could be fat and bald and be on a soap opera in mexico that's how they are and then all the women are still gorgeous and crying

over you. Why? That's the life. Why? Why? Why? Why? I don't need your tears.

Why? Piso mojado. I only know, like, the only Spanish phrases I know are from the signs I see around town in L.A. It says piso mojado. I always see that everywhere because it means wet floor. Actually, my old roommate, he's Nicaraguan, and he taught me one phrase. The phrase was, me encanta comer bagels con queso de crema, which means I want a bagel and cream cheese that's awesome you see i grew up in el

paso i know what you're talking about i know my span i'm like there's a big billboard across the street for hiv um and in starbucks some guy was like why is that spelled backwards they're so stupid and i was like because it's for mexicans okay it's like for latinos everything's backwards it's like the question mark. They painted the question mark upside down. They're like, Eve? I'm like, yes, we get it now. I'm a friend on that big HIV. I'm sorry, I keep talking over you. I don't know if there's a delay or something.

Actually, no, I'm talking over you. You continue, but you're a friend on HIV. I don't mean to be rude like that. Those guys, I know one of those guys up there, he's so cute and that little HIV thing. But I'm like, why are you on an HIV billboard? Maybe he has HIV. No, he doesn't.

I mean, I asked him. But even if you did, why do you want to advertise that? That's like when Joey was on the fucking herpes commercial on Friends. Or who's that guy who's on the AIDS truck? We've talked about this before. Oh, Blair Underwood. Blair Underwood. Blair Underwood who's on the aids truck we've talked about this oh blair underwood blair underwood blair underwood get off the aids truck listen blair underwood can go anywhere he wants because he is mighty sexy and you know what's funny about blair underwood he used to

be a castmate of harry hamlin's and you know what's funny about that is that now i have images of lisa rena and harry hamlin watching porn together. Courtesy of this show. Oh my God. That was so funny. She's like, my friends are always asking why we watch porn. I'm like, how do you not watch porn?

She's like, I'm going to take off my wig and get my lube out. And I think that's true because at a certain point, you're basically just each other's masturbation tools, right? Well, I mean, I don't know i mean i personally never watch porn you just watch it for the stories yeah the stories are riveting i do actually prefer when porn has i don't need like a whole story like i don't like i agree they're like we're spies

it's a group of spies and they try and make a plot but they're really terrible and you can tell they're shooting in like their office at the donut shop, but they're like, it's the Pentagon. Yeah. No, I don't like scenarios like that. But I don't like when you just start and they're already naked and just screwing. I think I like a little bit of a buildup. Listen, I'm still a fan of the classic porn tropes of the delivery guy who shows up or the plumber.

I love those. Things like that. I'm down. And I love when the plumber comes. Oh, yeah. And then he gets water on his shirt when he's trying to fix the pipes. Yeah. And then I'm like, take off your shirt and let it dry.

The plumber gives a shit if his shirt is wet. He's a plumber. He sticks his hand down poopy drains all day. Yeah. That is a classic scenario. And I think it's great. his way he's a plumber but he like sticks his hand down poopy drains all day yeah no that is that is a classic scenario and i think it's great and i think more porn should be like that i think all porn should involve someone in the service industry arriving at the door to help out with something that's a good one or where they're like um there's like a whole um

there's like all these little niches that have broken out that are so funny that are like, you know, guys having sex with their next door neighbors. A whole thing. Yeah. A whole site devoted to being like, hey, man, your car's in my driveway. Can you move it? It's like, whoops, I'm in the shower. Whoops.

I was just about to play with myself. Want to help me out i was like yeah but then will you move your car and he's like okay as long as i can rape your butt first yeah okay you know the ones i don't like are when it's like two guys hanging out and they're like man my girlfriend won't have sex with me i am man i am so like horny these days i love those see that one i feel like that's like stupid you know because i don't i love those they're like that stupid bitch she won't even know how to suck my dick and then the other guy's like really maybe i can help it's like really dude i'm not gay he's like you don't have to be gay it's not gay if you're just getting a blow job

and then possibly getting it up the butt and then they're like okay oh that's true yeah um i like um oh no i'll tell you one i didn't like there was one i watched that had i don't it was like from several years ago and it's like two porn stars that were like very attractive at the time and i was like oh cool i'll watch this one and it was like a harry potter like porn like themed porn it was like i don't know it's called like hairy i don't know hole or something i don't know what it was called but they had the cloak of invisibility and so as a result they basically shot in front of a green screen and put like some green thing around the guy except for his dick so someone was giving a blow job to a floating dick and it was like it it just was so unsexy it was supposed stupid. The dick would be like bopping around.

It was like the most ridiculous porno I ever saw. And I was like, this is such a waste of a very handsome man. We do a whole podcast just about porn. Like we can just review the same porn and be like, girl, please. Look at what that guy is wearing. No plumber would wear jeans like that to work. I actually, I do actually, there's a porn video that I have that I kept solely because the intro is so hilarious. I'm going to have to extract the audio so we can play it on the podcast so people can hear it. Because it is so, so, so, so funny.

What's up with European porn videos? They always have guys that are walking. Oh, yeah. That's what I guess. They're always walking through, like, ruins. Yeah. They're like, here's a guy walking through Paris. Okay, yeah. That's the way it is. They're always walking through, like, ruins. Yeah. They're like,

here's a guy walking through Paris. Okay, now he's downtown. Now he's on a bus. Now he's off the bus and he's walking up the sidewalk. Yeah. Now he's going

into a building and going up the stairs. Now he's trying different keys. It's like, this is six minutes in. Like, my wiener is so confused.

You know what I also don't like? I like the, when it comes to naked time i like it to be to get to naked time at a like so it makes sense in terms of like the speed so if you're watching like five minutes of build up if there's like five minutes of story or like the creating the fancy or even if it's like five minutes of walking around like 15 minutes of sex right well no no i don't i don't like that then all of a sudden it goes from like zero to 60 then oh now they're all naked like you're gonna it's like like enjoy the art of the teas you know like sort of yeah like when there's the plumbing ones and they're taking all this time but then they just

start making out and you're like wait a second you didn't even drop a wrench or anything yeah i'm like yeah yeah i'm like you i was like, you already hooked me for the whole seduction and everything, the fantasy. I'm ready to see this. One little thing comes off, then maybe another. You're excited for that part of it. That is the storytelling part of it. You took the trouble to rent the donut shop office.

Yeah. Okay, we went from Eileen Davidson to gay porn. This is Lisa Rinna's fault. Yeah, this is Blow Up Doll Lip's fault. Yeah, this is blow-up doll lip's fault. Oh, gosh. We'll get to blow-up dolls later. So Lisa is a welcome addition. I love her on this show.

And I love that she's naturally friends with Lisa Vanderpump. Because Lisa Vanderpump needs some friends. And also, she probably won't fuck over Lisa Vanderpump. And also, she's legit rich, I think, at this point again. Yeah. And if she's, yeah. And what's the other thing I was really like? She has cool kids.

I like the way she talks to her kids. Everything seems good. Now, I want to talk about Lisa Vanderpump and Brandy. So Brandy has really become so insufferable. I loved how her first scene, she's like, she has a friend over. She's like, oh, hey, can you help me hang this up? I don't know how to do it. And it's, of course, a framed

copy of her book cover and then showing that it's on the top of the New York Times bestseller. It's for e-books. E-books, I'd like to add. And she's also walking around in a thong and a see-through dress. Bitch, please with this. You don't know how to hammer a nail into the wall. Like, bitch, please with this. Like, you don't know how to, like, hammer

a nail into the wall. It was so stupid. It was, like, clearly showing off that she was the top of that thing. So she was already annoying me from that. But then when it got to later in the episode when she was going on a hike with Kyle and it was, like, the same thing where she was like,

you know, we're in a fight. I just feel like it needs to be resolved. And, like, Lisa just will never apologize. she's like you know we're in a fight I just feel like we need to be resolved and like Lisa just will never apologize it's like what the hell does Lisa have to apologize for? She didn't do anything you dumb hoe and everybody knows she didn't and I was gonna say you know you saying it over and over again doesn't make it

true and people don't just start believing it because you repeat it over and over but you know what they do because I've been reading some little um like comment threads or whatever and people do they're like well lisa didn't ever apologize and they're like what did lisa do again they're like well she planted all those stories about kyle and marizio's husband cheating on kyle and oh and then she you know she hired sheena just to fuck with Brandy and all this stuff.

It's like none of this ever happened, you dumb whores. Could you watch the show? Take notes. This is all stuff that Brandy alleged. Okay. Yeah, but you say it enough times and people start to believe it. Whereas Brandy actively tried to turn people against this woman who had defended her and had taken her under her wing. You know, some people will say, oh, well, it's part of lisa's manipulation to which i always say what is lisa

trying to manipulate what is what is this game of chess that people are saying she's playing what is the end game it's not like she's trying to like conquer a land you know yeah lisa wants uh publicity for her restaurants and she wants to be on magazine covers and look pretty and then she wants to like make sitcom scenes with friends because she always wanted to be on magazine covers and look pretty and then she wants to make sitcom scenes with friends because she always wanted to be an actress. That's it. I mean, maybe those things are vapid and shallow, but so what? She's at least not hurting other

people to do it. But then this whole thing with stupid Kyle being there at the hike, again with this hiking. I know. And so Brandy's like, I just think like, you know, she's called, I just think, you know, I just feel like, you know, I don't know. We both said

a lot of things, and I hate that. It's like, no, bitch. You started it. You know? You should not be expecting an apology. Yeah, I'm so sick of that story. But I am not sick of Lisa, because I love that Lisa's like, she's giving this look to Kim like why the fuck

is she calling me and then Brandy's there rolling her eyes like why can't we be friends anymore then she's rolling her eyes and calling her 75 and all this other shit on the side I know Brandy doesn't has no bit of sincerity in her she just doesn't want to be excluded anymore

from anything because no one will shoot with her from Kim and the only reason Kim's shooting with her is because someone told her it was susan sarandon no i mean brandy's basically trying to make a new case against lisa she's trying to like put lisa in this position where lisa has to be like no i'm not i'm not darling i'm not going to apologize to you and then brandy then that's brandy's gonna take that and run with it and be like you know lisa she's just like just like a mean person. You know, she just doesn't apologize. She'll never apologize. She's always misperfect. She always has to be misperfect, and she's going to probably try to use that

as basis to get people on her side. But it's bullshit. The whole foundation of her argument is based on bullshit. She doesn't have to apologize because she didn't do anything. So Sheena works at her restaurant. Big deal. How does Brandy not realize that the producers make Sheena go to these events?

Well, we already knew all this. Because, I mean, we've talked about this a zillion times. Because when Brandy first came on Beverly Hills, it was the end of season one when Sir was opening. And she came with Cedric. Or the end of season two. And she came with Cedric and got kicked out of the party. Remember? And Sheena was already working there and had already been working for Villa Blanca years before. season two and she came with cedric and got kicked out of the party remember so she already and sheena

was already working there and had already been working for villa blanca years before yeah she ever met before lisa ever met brandy and it's documented on bravo so shut up just stop your lying yeah oh she's so frustrating so anyway i don't even want to waste time on her except to say i feel really bad for her children because she's driving some leased range rover which is never going to be paid for she's in some new lease house she does not make money to be living like she's living and now she's being sued for child support from from eddie that sucks those kids are going to be left with no money well why don't we talk about kyle and let's talk about the fact that kyle's thing these days is now saying over and over again that she does not want to spoil portia uh although it may be too late i think a good way to not spoil

your daughter is to not give her a shirt that says i left my louis in the jet and that shirt costs like 200 yeah that's a good way not to spoil her or how about don't put her on a private jet to mallorca that's also a good way not to spoil her but i love that she was she went into the dressing room to try and calm porsche down who's screaming and yelling in the store how she wants it which granted is how kids are you know yeah but she goes into the dressing room with her and she's like listen porsche some children don't have clothes okay so be quiet like that always works on a kid like they give a crap what other kids have. Suddenly kids have empathy.

We used to be like, fine, mother, put our dinner in a box and ship it to Africa. That's what I used to always say. We're not eating it. That's what I would always say. Every time my mom would say, you know, there are kids in Africa who are starving. I'd be like, so give them this food. I feel kind of bad for Portia because I feel like Kyle doesn't understand. She looks frustrated and she's saying she doesn't want to raise a brat. But Kyle, I think, thinks it's funny

and she's trying to use Portia to be like a Melania. And honey, no. Your daughter is you're putting your daughter in harm's way because you're putting her on TV as such a brat. And people who watch these shows don't give a crap. They'll go on and call your daughter a stupid bitch all over the internet, which they're doing

by the way. They're like that stupid little twat I'm like what you guys she's like sick fuck her put her on a cross cut her head off what a brat send her to jail people are so harsh but Kyle's doing it because she thinks it'll make her

the next Melania and honey no Melania's funny because she doesn't give a fuck yeah and melania's melania is not spoiled she's just the devil incarnate that's what makes it different whereas porsche and she's funny like she's funny she's got really funny like little one-liners and stuff she's got some wit and she sits in fresh salad she sits in salads in the store exactly she calls her dad an idiot all that she's like you're an idiot like now that's now that's a kid right there yeah but just showing some spoiled little beverly hills brat that's not gonna end well for porsche and you're putting her in a really bad position for your own attention getting kyle as usual and meanwhile they spent 564 dollars

on those t-shirts. I mean, whatever happened to the days of going to Target? Isn't Kyle an ambassador for Target? She's an ass-itor. Yeah. For the world. Yeah. Kyle's the worst.

And then, you know, she's so obsessed with talking about how rich she is now. Because Maurizio has his old firm. And his own firm firm and that's great. Congrats. But please be quiet. I mean, every week it's like, then we're going to go here and then we're going to buy this and then we're going to be on a private plane and then we're going to be on a yacht

and then we're going to... Jesus Christ. How about you just have a personality for five minutes instead of trying to float around on one all the time? Yeah. I say here, here to that. here i agree and she's gonna go out of the country and meet yolanda on a boat please save us from that well that'll be interesting because yolanda spent a good portion of this episode like just singing the praises of her daughter bella for being a free spirit and and i love that she she says yolanda says i i can't wait to see all the

trouble you get into and bella's like i'm not getting in trouble she's like no i meant in life i didn't mean like well i'm gone on vacation but as we soon find out next week bella gets a dui so she does get into some trouble. Ruh-roh! My favorite part of that was Yolanda like, oh, you know, you don't have to go to school if you don't want to. She's like, I never thought school was important, but you know, Mohammed thinks it's important. Of course

you don't think it's important. You're some like seven foot tall model who made your money off your boobs and your wiener. Of course you didn't need school, but other people do, okay? People who can't put their ankles behind their ears need to go to school, Yolanda. She's like, look at

those Smith kids. They're doing quite well for themselves. They don't go to school and they're very smart. I'm just turning her into Arnold Schwarzenegger. Also, we had Kathy Hilton. Kathy Hilton came by. God, Kathy Hilton's a fucking nightmare. Yeah, they went to... So Kim's daughter's getting married,

and they went to the same wedding dress place, boutique, that OC went to when Lori Waring was like, oh, yeah, I heard that Brooks has sex with prostitutes, Vicky. And Vicky's like, what? Oh, that was the same place? Yeah, it was the same place. You've got a good eye. Well, I've got two things.

One is it looks the same, but also one of the guys that work in that space, about like a year and a half ago, I met him at Hear Bar. And like in the dim lights of Hear bar, he looks really like attractive. He was like really cute. He's like muscular and everything. And we're like talking and he gave me his card, his number. And I remember I looked up,

I sort of like stalked him from his card. I saw he worked at this like bridal salon and then it was like on OC, like in the next like week or whatever. And then when I saw, saw him on like real houses of orange County, I saw his face was totally plastic Surgery'd up Everything was tucked back This awful gruesome thing I was like no no no

These guys really That whole scene I could not take the plastic surgery You saw what I was talking about Those guys are just Oh yeah I have tons of pictures of them in the recap Because I couldn't stop Staring at those faces One of my issues is Come on as gay people Let's stop this the recap because i couldn't stop staring at those faces so the guy one of the you know one

of my issues is just come on as gay people let's be let's stop this men should not be getting plastic surgery on their face like that it's too much he's brown from all the makeup he's wearing and spray tan his wig his eye it's like everything stop being ridiculous just stop yeah that and and so the one i the one that i had talked about at Hear Bar was in the red shirt from last night. Oh, with the Chucky wig. I'm looking at it right now. He's wearing like a Chucky wig. Really bad plug.

He was wearing a hat when I met him. He was wearing a little baseball cap, which also made him look younger. And again, I swear to God, this is the first time ever that it's really been a situation where, oh, wow, the lights were dark and I really didn't see that he was all plastic surgery. He looked like really good. Well see that he was all plastic surgery. He looked like really good. Well, here he looks totally plastic surgery-ed up. But, you know, in their defense, maybe they knew the cameras were coming and so they both went and got fillered and Botoxed up like these idiots do. They don't, you know, you need like a good three weeks for that shit to calm down properly.

Yeah, that's true. But the worst here was Kathy. She comes in. The girl is obviously in this wedding dress that she wants to buy she thinks it's gorgeous and kathy's like ew no gross you look poor you look like someone in vegas what do you want to look trashy for your wedding i mean you need something a little classy honey you look like a cocktail waitress um first of all your daughter became famous like swallowing sperm on the internet kathy okay and you're wearing some

disgusting blouse with weird shit glued to it that looks like all the grandbabies your child has swallowed and it doesn't even fit the button is like stretching on your boob shut the fuck up lady get out of here well but the funny thing is that the dress that she ultimately went for i thought was terrible. It was awful. And that was slutty. That was like a mini skirt with like see-through lace on the legs. I hated it.

I hated it. Just know with that. But I did like the flashback of Kathy when Kim's like, yeah, well, you know, Kathy, she's pretty opinionated. And they just do a flashback of Kathy going up up to kim and be like oh so that's what you're wearing and she's like yeah and kathy's like while kathy was wearing leopard print by the way yeah that's true too so gross kathy it's disgusting and watching her children i mean watching her sisters just stand by and let her be alpha because she's got the most money was hilarious too yeah it's like better listen to kathy she's you know she's gonna have the purse strings when we're older yeah that bitch out of here i would kick her out and especially

since she's trying to come get free publicity for whatever the hell her stupid ass is trying to sell now that her sisters are famous and she refused to do this show without money before get out of here kathy yeah get out of here kathy i have no time for her or her stupid child yeah all right so should we move on to... She's been tweeting about her music. Shut up, Paris. Okay? Oh, yeah.

DJ Paris Hilton. We're all back in that gaping womb, and both of you all get on a plane, a private plane, far, far away, and shut up. Just shut up together. So, question. Do you want to talk about Atlantis? It's 1-11. Good luck.

Oh, it's 4-11 for me. It's 4-1-1. so i've got the 411 for you we're gonna change shows so um it's uh do you want to talk about vanderpump or atlanta academy is a new scripted podcast that follows ava richards played by hbo's industries my harold a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her

own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.

From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly,

exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Let's talk about Atlanta.

All right. Good choice. Good choice. So this week on Atlanta, let's see if I can remember what happened. So Portia continues to be awful, as we alluded to at the top of the episode. Portia's really, she's really coming off as a huge spoiled brat. She always was a spoiled brat, but she's sort of like a sweet spoiled brat. But now she's just like a nasty spoiled brat.

If you pit her against someone who's worse than her you'll root for her because she's less terrible but right now she doesn't have that yeah and you know like i know she's excited that she got a gig on dish nation a syndicated show that only seemed to air in gyms uh at two in the like, honestly, she better slow her roll. The only time I ever see that show is when I'm walking to the gym. It's like, oh, there's that show again. Dish Nation. Dish Nation is terrible.

It's so terrible. I'm sorry. It is. It's so really bad. They're like, hey, we're talking about Kim Kardashian's butt. What do you guys think in the radio station in seattle and they're like you guys kim kardashian's butt is out again girl put on some pants all right what do you guys think in orlando and they're like wow kim kardashian has a big butt oh what do you think in el paso they're They're like, Kim Kardashian is pretty.

Like, please make this show be quiet. I know. Well, it's like, you know, I think the saddest part about Dish Nation is seeing some of, like, the DJs who are, like, really popular and have been on the radio for a long time. But now they're thrust onto TV. So they're trying to, like, look cool. Like Todd Bettengale from PLJ here in New York. Like, I don't know if he's even still on dish nation but he was for a while he has like highlights in his hair and he's got like

abercrombie on and he's like 56 i'm like please get this off my tv meanwhile of course i would like die to be on dish nation that would be a fun job and i think the idea is i mean the idea is mostly just weird because it's radio stations. I just feel like it's getting the hokiest part of radio. It is getting that morning zoo thing, but in the afternoon. I actually do not like the morning

zoo style. It's too much. It's too much for me. I'm an old man all of a sudden. It wasn't all of a sudden with me. It's been happening since i turned 18 i just like progressively just turn you're like no more morning zoos yeah it's like morning shows i actually hate late night shows because i can't this is every late night show the whole time it's like a bunch of fucking animals they get like a thousand people in there and then they make them scream for an hour and a half about nothing.

It makes me nuts. I know. I mean, like I used to watch late night TV. I used to love – believe it or not, back in like 1997, I used to love Jay Leno. And then I stopped. Somehow, somewhere along the way, I came to my senses. And then I used to watch Conan like every single night. I was like obsessed with Conan.

And then Letterman, Daily Show. And then I just don't know. I just don't watch them anymore. Too much noise. I need some silence in my life. Yeah. I watch Sons of Anarchy where everybody just shoots each other and beats up a hooker. You're not going to make Sons of Anarchy happen, Ronnie.

I know you wanted it to happen in the bonus episode. It's not going to happen. It's going to happen because you're eventually going to binge watch it. And you're going to make Sons of Anarchy happen, Ronnie. I know you wanted it to happen in the bonus episode. It's not going to happen. It's going to happen because you're eventually going to binge watch it and you're going to be like, oh my god. What the hell? I have so many shows to binge watch. I'm just patting myself on the back for even binge listening to Serial. I'm like, this is the first time I've binge listened to something and been current with it.

Yeah, you're like, I'm so smart. That was on NPR, you guys. I can only imagine Portia. Serial? It's a podcast about lucky charms? Well, I found a little plastic bicycle in my box today. What'd you find? Previously on Serial with Portia Stewart,

I had some haunted bunches of oats, and there was no toy inside, so I thought to myself, was there ever a toy inside? So then I emailed a bunch of people, and they didn't write back. I'd like to thank Tony the Tiger for everything he did for racism

when he was the driver of that bus underground when he was the driver of the underground bus and saved all those black people from Fruity Pebble thank you so much Tony grrrr bling bling

the Portia Stewart serial podcast is brought to you by MailChimp. Because I've got a mail chimpanzee back there, and he pressed play on this. Whenever my mail's there, I'm like, where's that chimp? I'm going to spank that chimp. I had three phone calls. One phone call was the chimpanzee. And the other two phone calls were just my butt calling JC Penney.

And I was like, JC Penney, where's your cereal department? We're mixing the two shows. I'm sorry. We were talking about the podcast're mixing the two shows. I'm sorry. We were talking about the podcast cereal in the bonus episode, and we're still talking about it. Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. But were we ever? Bling, bling.

Oh, my God. All right. You have one phone call from Cordell Stewart. Bling, bling, bling, bling. I changed locks, bitch. No, Cordell, don't do it I love the idea of Portia having her own podcast

about cereal these are great nuts these are cornflakes I don't know what this is Grace had nuts Grace had babies this is cookie crunch but nuts. Grace had babies. This is cookie crunch, but it looks like it's about to get stolen.

There's a bunch of Robbins on it. Oh. Wow. Okay. If you don't watch the show, you'll be so confused. The crux of the Portia stuff this week is Portia's stupid, and Portia's a dumb hoe because she's on Dish Nation, which she thinks is Roseanne or something. She thinks she's

been handed her own show. And this other chick Claudia Jordan, God bless her heart, has to do the radio version of the show. Do you know how much harder that is? She has to work for like three hours and make all the real jokes and then Portia just comes in for 15 minutes

and gets to be on tv and if she messes up they can edit it whereas claudia is live and has to you know deal with everything yeah so now that claudia got a job on real housewives of atlanta porsche hates her basically it's what's going on because she's stepping on her turf and i find that so interesting because it happens on every housewife show where the new one is ostracized until she proves herself. Right. Unless she's richer than them.

In which case, then they all kiss her ass. Yeah, true. Lisa Rinna style. Yeah. Lisa Rinna. I don't know that Lisa Rinna is really rich.

I mean, if you think about it, Harry Hamlin has his earlier star money, right? But that money wasn't as good as it got later on in the TV game. Like L.A. Law and stuff like that, he wasn't getting paid a half a million dollars an episode or something.

How about Shannon Bedore? That's a good example. Because Shannon came onto the O.C. She's super wealthy and is the first one ever to walk onto the O.C. and Vicky did not attack her. Vicky loved her. But just to leave this arena thing real quick, Harry, when she was talking about doing those Depends commercials,

and she's like, I saved our bacon with those commercials because I think that they were out of money at that point, and she did it for a few million dollars and put them back on top because I'm sure Mad Men's not paying him shit. You know he's getting like minimum for like SAG minimum for being on Mad Men. Yes, it's not a it's on basic cable. It's not a huge role

and he's only been a season and a half. He will have only been on a season and a half by the time the show ends. And what was he really doing before then? Probably some Lifetime movies. And even in this role, he really didn't do anything until the end of last season. He finally got some balls on him.

But anyway, yeah. So this, yeah, I do too. And I think he does good on the show. I just don't think she's, people are nice to her because she's rich. I think people are nice to her because she's always a vote. Yeah, so Claudia Jordan, I like Claudia Jordan so far.

I'm down with her. And I like that she's going to be a bitch on wheels. She will be. I like that she is embarrassed about her toes. I find that to be somewhat relatable. I'm happy with my toes, but I just like that she has something that she's embarrassed about because I have stuff I'm embarrassed about. Mainly my chest.

There. Y'all heard it. I'm embarrassed about my chest. I like her, and I liked how when she reached out to porsche and she was like very like she actually was like very i thought sweet and she approached it in a very nice way and she was like listen i feel like there's been a weird energy change and da da da da and porsche's like uh-huh you like tom ford you know she's like porsche is so stupid well first she went up to her destination was like hi pors, Portia. And Portia's like, hello.

Like, so what's going on, girl? She's like, not even answering, just doing her lipstick, pretending she's not in the room. She's like, so, Portia, what's your favorite color? Portia's just like looking away and doing her lipstick. But didn't you feel like a little bit like maybe that was the producers just slicing footage from later, like 20 minutes later? Maybe, yeah, that's true. I kind kind of felt that it was so blatant i was like i mean i think porsche is obnoxious but not that obnoxious well she did look of course not porsche but claudia did look really awkward in that it's true like she was getting screwed over at that moment um but the recap the recapper for this section her name is l boogie she's one of my favorites um but she writes recaps for this and she's so funny the first picture is porsche putting

on makeup and it says i'm so grateful for all the people who marched on booker t washington so i could get this far and then there's a picture of of Claudia below it saying, I didn't come for Dish Nation. I'm coming for your peach, bitch. And that is the foreshadowing. So watch out, Portia. You can be mean, but this is the woman who literally takes the peach out of your hand mid-season and kicks your ass to the curb.

So have fun acting like an asshole. Yeah, exactly. She'll probably be on the TV version by next month too. Yeah, that's true. It's very true. Yeah, so enjoy that Dish Nation. She probably doesn't even realize.

She's probably still wondering like, so why are we going to talk about housewares? Isn't this Dish Nation? Yeah, she's going to be like, is it unsafe to eat hot things on plastic plates? Because that could give you cancer. She's like she's like sometimes one time i tried to eat cereal off a plate but when i poured the milk in it got everywhere so that's a lesson for everyone who listens to the cereal podcast don't use the wrong dish little crossover by the way my porsche accent is like crazy today i'm like I don't know why. I'm doing some crazy Audrey 2 Little Shop of Horrors thing with her.

I'm like, I'm Mr. Mushnick. No, whatever his name is. Mr. Mushnick. Mushnick. Mr. Mushnick. Seymour. Seymour. Seymour, I'm going to be on Dish Nation.

Yes, Doctor. Yes, Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. This Doctor's been brought to you by MailChimp. I know Seymour is the greatest. But I'm dating a semi-sadist. Suddenly cornflakes are standing beside me.

They don't need much milk. Don't even get started on Audrey songs. Because I'll somewhere that's green the shit out of that song. Out of this podcast. That is one musical that I definitely do know very well. At least the movie version. Okay. They're the same.

It only cut out a couple songs. Yeah. Movie versions. Into the Woods. Made only cut out a couple songs. Movie versions, Into the Woods, Made Me Cry, Go See It, Everybody. Wow. You're squeezed out. Yeah, I don't know if you'll like it, because it's really musical-ish. Well, I saw the original.

Did you like it? I was a kid, but I liked it. Yeah, but I liked it because it was like, oh, wow, it's all these fairy tales all in one place. Yeah, my family hated it when we saw it. I was the only one who liked it that's like that was amazing they're like that music was so annoying fuck that show but i loved it and the movie was so good right okay so the next part after porsche and claudia was when they had that awkward ass lunch together um are we done talking about that or did you yeah i'm trying i'm

trying to remember. Basically, Claudia was just being nice and Portia was being a bitch. Portia, you're going to get yours, girl. So get ready because I can't wait to see it at this point. Right. The next part was this Todd and Candy bullshit. Oh, yeah. Where Todd is now comfortable because he's married.

I mean, he was pretty comfortable when they weren't married. But now that they're married, he's super comfortable. He's wearing his hat on top of he's super comfortable. He's so. His hat on top of his head turned sideways. I'm so impressed. I feel bad for Don Juan. I really do. I mean, the other two, I don't know what their deal is. But Don Juan, I feel like Don Juan has been, like, a really good worker all these years. And he's like, you know, and you know what I like about Don Juan?

He sort of looks like a cartoon cat who's mad. Maybe even like Tom of Tom and Jerry is Tom the cat, right? Which everyone's the cat. He sort of looks like when he, when he, I just, when he like crosses his arms,

I can just see him being like a little cartoon cat being really angry that Jerry got away, you know? But I, I like, I like Don Juan and Todd is like so emblematic. I feel like, of middle management. Like he's exactly the sort of person who comes into your department and is now your new supervisor and is like condescending and starts saying things like, well, what we need to start doing, what we need to start doing, when he really means what you need to start doing. And it actually really rubbed me the wrong way, that entire Todd segment.

Yeah, Todd's totally in the wrong. He's like, well, I don't think your team's really doing what they should be doing, baby. And you need to come down on them. And she's like, well. See? Nah. Right. It was like, what are we going to do in class, mama?

And I was like, see? Nah. We're going to do in class that. Because I was like, uh, uh, classes. And he's like, well, we need to talk to them. And then he's like, you guys are, you know, we're falling behind on these projects. Like, remember that time we said we'd give songwriting classes and then nobody did anything? I mean, that's what Todd expects to do.

He expects to walk into a room and go, okay, we're going to give songwriting classes, do a Broadway show, and record an album. Bye. I'll be back in a month. He's like okay so arrange my arrange our wedding and put together this show with no time and then i'm gonna yell at you when you didn't do something else you know although i've been trying to work on todd's voice but it's that thing where when i'm watching the show i can do the voice really well but now that we're talking it's probably from at all messed up but but basically he's like, he's like, he talks high. He's like, I don't see what's getting done over here. It's like, like, all I'm seeing is a bunch of you guys just sitting around like Don Juan, like, you know, you're not doing anything.

I know. Does that sound like him or no? No. You know, anyone involved with the Candy Burst household, I just can't do. See? Nah. God just talks like super calm. No, but he has a high-pitched voice. His voice is so high.

Like, this episode, I noticed it. He was like, so, these are the things that we have to do. It's like, see, I'm not getting a lot of respect from you, Don Juan. See? Nah. I love that Don Juan, anytime he's confronted, that head starts rolling back and his finger starts waving. He's like, oh, hell no. I know you didn't just tell me that.

I mean, what about the album I produced? What about the show I produced? What did you do? I've been here 20 years. Who the hell are you, shorty? Oh, nice hat on sideways. Get the hell out of here with your midget ass. I love Don Juan. I was totally on Don Juan's side out of here with your midget ass. I love Don Juan.

I was totally on Don Juan. Don't ever fuck with Don Juan. I love Don Juan. I think he's on top of shit, for sure. And I think Candy's on top of shit. And I think Don Juan had a great point, which is that, like, so before Todd came around, like, we had bedroom candy, and we had candy-coated nights, and we had all this stuff,

and everything got done. And Todd came in and it was like, oh, what? Like some classes? See? Nah. Todd, he's got like ideas and stuff, but like he's afraid to say them. So she likes to say things too. So time one to get them done.

I like that he was saying, y'all getting too comfortable. And then the screen cap in the recap is him with his feet on the table while he's saying it. Nothing says comfort like feet on the table during a business meeting. Yeah. He's a little arrogant. Todd. I'm not really a fan. I didn't really mind him before, but now I don't like him.

I do find him to be arrogant. Although I'm sorry your mom died. I loved her. Yeah. We talked about it on the bonus episode, too. But we're sorry about that. Sorry. Still don't like him. But very easy although i'm sorry your mom died i loved her yeah we talked about on the bonus episode too but like we're sorry sorry but you're kind of getting arrogant you're getting kind of arrogant so let's take it down a notch let's learn from riley see nah uh cynthia kenya and claudia meet at a shoe store oh that was just more of the usual that's just like one of those generic scenes oh yeah that was just toes yeah let's see peter i'm through the recap for this whole thing sorry

it's okay well there's peter and apollo i think had a moment or should diva girls talk lying about lying that was the next thing all right oh oh my god. Even though Apollo admitted that he was lying, Nini and Portia won't believe him. Yeah. He's like, you think he's lying about lying? Come on. They are so evil. And Nini's like, girl, any woman wants to lose 10 pounds. I mean, if it takes your husband going to jail to do it, send him off.

Shut up, Nini. Shut up with your weird flapper hair, your flapper wig. That was funny, though. Yeah. I like just seeing Nini back with everybody. I hate watching her in her own stupid scenes. Yeah. She's definitely funnier when she can play off other people

for sure. Yeah, just trash other people that are there or whatever. Did Peter do something? I feel like Peter did something that made me roll my eyes. Oh my god. Okay, so Apollo comes over to talk to Peter to basically get free booze, which is the same reason Peter's at work.

So he goes to Bar None to talk to Peter. Bar One. Oh, Bar None, because I don't think it's at work. So he goes to Bar None to talk to Peter. Bar One. Oh, at Bar None, because I don't think it's there anymore. Oh, yeah. But Peter's advice about what a relationship is. That was the best part of the episode to me. He's like, she's treating you that way, brother. That's not how a relationship is.

She's supposed to be with you the whole time. So if you're in jail is she's supposed to be with you the whole time so if you like if you're in jail she's supposed to be excited for you you know she's supposed to be there that's your girl or you know if you kill somebody who cares she's supposed to be there that's your girl right there you know if that was my girl i'd be there i was like peter you do nothing but spend your wife's money okay and if your ass did what apollo did and you got to jail, your wife would divorce you in two seconds, never speak to you again, and be done with you. Don't kid yourself. Yeah, and then when Apollo's like, yeah, you know, poor she used to visit me. I mean, Phaedra used to visit me.

I was on an air mattress with an ankle bracelet, and she would come through all the time. And now she's like, you know why they did me? It's like, yeah, well, no shit, Sherlock. She, like, invested in you. She was like, she created a family tableau. Well, not tableau. She created an image of what she wanted her family to be. She said, okay, I'm going to pluck this guy, this sap out from his air mattress.

He's hot. He looks good. He'll give me handsome babies. And we're going to play the part of husband and wife. And you ruined it. You did not live up to your end of the deal. No wonder why she's not following you to jail. And not only that, but you know, poor, not poor shit. You know phadra was like okay here's the rules yeah you work for me you are welcome to

do what you want to do on your own time but no criminal activity you cannot be going to jail again and acting like a damn fool you just got out of jail you got to be super careful blah blah blah unless it's something that i set up for you yeah because i still believe that but um you know that she gave him rules and he broke the only damn rule she gave him and now he's like but now i'm gonna come out and be poor and that's all he cares about is coming out and being poor he doesn't care about her he doesn't care about he's not worried about the kids he's worried about coming out and being poor yeah and I don't think there's going to be any friendly

jewess from NPR to make a podcast to get him out of jail this time around there is a call from the correctional facility in Atlanta hey baby what you doing well I was looking into your case and it looks like the cops

timeline isn't really working out what you wearing, and it looks like the cops' timeline isn't really working out. What you wearing, baby? Well, it looks like the cops have you at the best buy at a time you couldn't have been there. We might be able to get you off. Oh, yeah, you can get me off, baby. Yeah. Are you masturbating, Apollo? Okay.

Get me off. Get me off. Get me off. You promised. Next week on Serial. You're supposed to stick by my side. If I need to get off, you're supposed to help me all the way through it. So Peter being a marriage advisor was hilarious to me. Shut up, Peter.

Oh, my God. It's just the worst. What else happened here? Lunch with Portia and Claudia. We already talked about that. Cynthia. Well, then the Kenya, when Candy was like, see? Nah.

The other girls were like, oh, she was like, you know, lying about lying. Kenya, of course, was like, oh, I just can't. Like, this is just, for two years, I've had this. My nieces were calling me up and being like, Auntie, why would you do these things? You ruined my reputation. You called me a whore for two years. Kenya, you've acted like a whore for two years, okay?

You've been looking him up and down, flirting with him to try and make problems in their relationship, suggesting that he's sending you sex messages, which he did not do and you never produced. So why don't you stop acting innocent, you big old heifer? And there's a reason that Donald Trump calls you the worst person he's ever met. OK, and that guy was married to Ivana.

Yeah, yeah. I wrote down a couple of my favorite lines. Portia being like, you don't need to know nothing about the woo woo ding dang and the ding ding dong dong yeah that was nice which is one of the ringers this month and Todd when he was yelling at the staff

for how they're not working enough for candy and he's like I mean come on y'all I mean we got a black president she ain't even done nothing oh yes oh my god thank you for bringing that up yeah that was the most not book obama you fucking moron i mean i'm surprised i thought a mother's love was heading straight to the white house at least the kennedy center you know i mean it'll be getting its honor and like the kennedy center. How could you, Candy? How could you do this, man, and leave me without a house?

What if you choke on a chicken bone candy? Oh, my God. That was one of the most ridiculous things that Todd has ever said. We ain't done nothing. We ain't done nothing with the Obamas. We got a black president. We ain't even done nothing with Obama. Oh, no. Whoa. Whoa. All right. we got a black president we ain't even done nothing with Obama oh no

I'm looking through this recap to see what I missed I think we covered most of it. Why don't we move on to Vanderpump Rules? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. This hat. Well, there is another good picture in here. It's of the little kid trying to pick a dog out at the dog house. Oh, that was cute.

And the caption is, And it's good practice for learning how to talk while separated by several reinforced inches of material oh geez that's that's awesome he that kid is that is awful and awesome it is that's why the site is called trash talk tv okay so let's go on to vanderpump rules let's go on to vanderpump rules so rules yeah my dad watched about three quarters of this with me um and then until he finally got to his breaking point when he's like this is goddamn agony and then pretty much just you know that was it for him um so this episode this is sort of like a classic um classic vander

pump rules episode where basically there was an allegation of cheating and it went back and forth all episode long until it erupted in like a mini fight and now I think it's going to set up probably a season long series of denials leading to eventually an admission that's what happens every season

well yeah because everybody confesses at the last second you know okay I was giving him a blowjob under the table but it's only because you were dating 20 other people in vegas so for those of you who missed it the allegation is that jackson shana saw um katie motorboating a guy's dick at a club which is not really something that people do and my dad was like i've never heard of motorboating a day. I know. My dad was like, what's motorboating? I was like, uh... I was like, it's more like, it's like, brrrr, that.

Yeah, let me put your face in between big boobs and make that sound. I was like, I'm really glad that this show let me sort of bond with my dad in that way that I could teach him what motorboating meant. Totally. Because, I mean, back in his days, it was called giving a zerbert to a tit. It's called the old FDR shuffle.

Ah, the evolution of language, Dad. Hugs. So anyway, so Jax and Sheena are claiming that they saw Katie do this. And Sheena's been on like this big, she's been on a big kind of campaign to turn the guys against Katie because every chance that she gets, she's like, I don't understand. Why is it such a big... All of a sudden, Katie...

Schwartz can't hang out with us just because Katie has an issue. Just because I'm here and now Schwartz can't hang out, I'm surprised you guys are still friends with her. Yeah, that whole group is really turned against Katie. I mean katie is a bitch from hell and i don't blame them because one minute she's pretending to be their friends and the second stassi's back she's like whatever i don't know you people because stacy's the alpha well or stassi don't forget that last season katie was persona non grata for a while like i think the first half of the season everyone hated katie because she like ruined stassi's birthday party,

and she cried, and she got too drunk, and everyone's like, ugh, Katie. Yeah, she learned her lesson, so now she's going to kiss Stassi's ass for the rest of time. Yeah. But, for now, I just thought it was so crazy how by the end of the episode,

Jax and Tom sit down at the table with katie and then jack well i guess katie brought up this whole cheating allegation and then jacks starts just like going at her i'm just like this is so ridiculous yeah it's like whatever you cheat on your boyfriend so whatever and jacks is obviously just trying to break everybody up because he's alone yeah you know i mean he does this every season he always like passes along gossip that'll destroy everyone's relationship with each other I don't know why anybody hangs out with him

he's awful I'm surprised and I'm not surprised that Tom Sandoval is hanging out with him again I'm surprised because Jax did awful things to him and not surprised because Tom's just not that smart Tom okay so the first

scene of this episode was Jax getting his nose stuff taken off, right? Wasn't it like the unveiling of the nose? Yeah, which looks exactly the same. Tom Sandoval and Jax were at the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in, and Tom cannot

stop looking this guy up and down. He's like in love with the doctor, which was hilarious cannot stop looking this guy up and down he's like in love with the doctor which was hilarious the doctor's hot that's what i'm saying well i mean we would be the same way right so then the doctor finally leaves and um tom's like dude that guy gets laid every day jackson's like yeah we're totally hetero but that guy's fucking hot right and they're like yeah he's hot it's like hashtag no homo no homo yeah i don't know about that you shave your forehead bando you know i once had a super hot doctor i once went to i had to go to the emergency room because i like i like coughed up blood once like at five in the morning and turns out it was totally benign i'm just like from a weird cold but the my emergency room doctor was like gorgeous like dropped dead i mean it was and i and um uh my friend jenny drove me to the emergency room and so we're sitting in this like little like

examination room and this guy walks in i mean it's like dreamboat like hotter than the plastic surgeon and he's so gorgeous and i and he's like so tell me what what's what like tell me what's wrong and i was like uh uh uh and i i couldn't talk and i looked over to jenny and she has her like head in her hands because she's like she can't believe how hot this guy is that and she knows what's going through my head and she knows that like if i look at her she's gonna start like we're both gonna start laughing it's like here i am i've just coughed up blood and all I can think about is, oh my god, this doctor's so hot. All I want to do is laugh.

You know Jenny. I just want to make love to this doctor. You know Jenny, Ronnie. Next time you see her, you've got to ask her about this doctor. It was unbelievable. Hotness. Hot doctors. Hot doctor. They do exist. What else happened in this show

this show is so silly because a lot of times nothing really happens on it but it's just so funny because it shows like the shallow ass city that LA is it's just hilarious to me Jax's nose job and then Lisa's acting like she's doing this

huge favor to Stassi by letting her be the stylist for her cover shoot for Frontiers magazine. Yeah, she's like, Frontiers magazine is a very prominent gay magazine. I'm like, no, it's the free shit that you find on the corner of Joey's Cafe. Yeah, it's like next to the Thrifty Nickel, please. Yeah, please. It's like a step above the Penny Saver. It's like Penny Saver with abs.

Yeah, it's like how you find out which go-go boys are working where on what night and then it's where you see all these like all your old queen friends like posing for the weird paparazzi guy that goes around taking pictures yeah he's like here's nobody and here's another nobody and here's another nobody here's nobody with botox and here's the who it's the who's not who it's the it's's the who's not who's not who's not of West Hollywood. Who's not anybody. The who's not who. No, yeah, so, well, I mean,

Stassi was being kind of ridiculous. But Lisa's stupid. I mean, she's... Who would hire Stassi? I would never hire Stassi to be my stylist because everything Stassi wears now comes from, like, School Marms Incorporated. No kidding. It's like, you have soccer. no one who has soccer mom hair can be a stylist sorry sorry stassi but also lisa i mean i know it always

feels like we've got our head up lisa's butt on this show i mean i admit that but i just think like lisa's trying to be nice and give stassi a reason to be on camera since she doesn't even work there anymore and the show's about the restaurant like you know she was the one who called stassi and was like, Stassi, you should come back to the show. Why are you giving up a TV show? Don't be an idiot. And Stassi came back just to fucking hang out.

You know that that's all what happened and she's just trying to give her some TV time and Stassi's like, Lisa wouldn't even pay me. What a bitch. She didn't even say thank you. Stassi better be careful. The way she's playing it this season, she might not be back next season, I she's not doing anything interesting she's not being bitchy i mean not too much happened this week uh kristin came back from her uh from her

suspension and she's like seriously lisa seriously ken like i'll be a lot more professional from now on so like seriously seriously? Seriously? Seriously. And her boyfriend's like, well, I got a much bigger penis than Tom does. That's disgusting. I wish this was a drama on TV like Sons of Anarchy because if this was Sons of Anarchy, his head would be blown off by the end of the season. I wish Kristen were hosting Serial. She'd be like, so Anand, did you not kill Hay? Did you not kill Hay? He'd be like, no, man, I didn't.

She's like, seriously? Seriously? This week, I went and I spoke to Jay, and I was like, Jay, your story doesn't make sense. Like, seriously? Seriously? Serially? It'd just be called Serially. So, when you went to get stoned at your friend's house

Did you call anybody? Seriously? But then there was another girl who said she called It's hard I want the cable back Anand I want my cable back Anand. I want my cable back. Anand, did you fuck a girl in Vegas?

No, I've been in jail. Stop lying, Anand. Seriously? Seriously? I know what you've been up to. Seriously. Seriously? Seriously? It took me like 25 minutes to get to best buy it doesn't take like 17 minutes like

seriously seriously remember when i first fucked you when i was stealing cvs from best by adnan he's like uh no that was another black guy she's like seriously seriously i was trying to get him off too hey Hey Anand, I brought my executive producer Sheena. Hey Anand, I have a question. Why is there glass in my foot? Did you do that? Seriously Anand, I can't believe you did that. Anand, we were walking through the forest to find out where the guy said he went pee-pee

and he stepped on a bottle. Anand! Anand, I can't believe you killed Hay on my birthday. Like, why does this always happen at my birthday party? Mom, I can't believe you didn't even text me after you killed that girl. Next week on Serial. Next week on Serial. I really wish we had a tech person to go in there

and add that fucking theme everywhere we mention it, because that shit would be hilarious. I'm just going to go through an episode of Serial, and I'm going to take out whatever her name is, Sarah Koenig, and I'm just going to put in Seriously, Seriously, with every single segment. Every just going to put in, seriously? Seriously. With every single segment. Every single interview.

Seriously, Nisha? Seriously. Seriously, Kathy? I know we changed your name, but, like, seriously? Oh my god, that shit is hilarious. You guys, please, if you don't know what we're talking about, and you're mad at us for acting like such retards, please listen to Serial at least once so you can get this podcast.

Yeah. We are off the rails this week. Okay. So Vanderpump rules. So let me look at my notes. Yeah. Look at your notes. Lisa and Stassi, puppy, nose job doctor, that dog is not your...

Oh. That's going to fix everything. Tom Schwartz. First of all, you're not having sex with your girlfriend. She's probably cheating on you, and you hate each other. So, instead of just breaking up, to pacify her

wanting to get married all the time, you get a dog. No, that's like having a baby to save your marriage. That doesn't work, and especially getting a dog doesn't, because the dog can't take sides it can't even talk second of all you idiot that dog is not one years old they went to get that dog from barking bitches on fairfax that place is the biggest ripoff that woman charges like 800 to get a dog to adopt an old ass droopy about to die dog she charges you like six to eight hundred dollars and then she's a liar. That dog was not a year old. It has a

gray beard. Yeah. It was like a black and white dog. That is an old person dog. Yeah, that should go with Stassi. Give that one to Stassi. She'll be like, why are you still all these stupid dog shit? I'm going to put you down.

I am literally going to chop this dog's head off and smear the blood all over sir. Cause I'm so glad I don't work there anymore. I'm literally going to bite this dog's nose off, put it in a martini glass,

make Sheena, fill it with a cosmopolitan made with Vanderpump vodka. Then I'm going to drink it. Then I'm going to poop it out, sift through my poop, rinse it off, cook it into a meal

and serve it to Jax. Fucking old person dog. Stassi did provide one of my favorite lines this season, though, when she said, I don't know what I ever did to you, but I will take a pinot grigio. Oh, I think that was it. I have girl brunch. But any girl brunch is just

Stassi basically being like, why are you guys still friends with those losers? Why are you even dating Tom? Why aren't you even working with her? Why are you even doing that? I've got a rich boyfriend. I mean, why are we even here? Why are we eating this crap? And I love that they were at Solar de Coquinda.

I know. Like sitting on the noisiest street in Hollywood to film a stupid brunch scene. I know. Like, how's your cold crepe? There are the hottest guys there, though. If you go in the middle of the week and want to do something like work, want to go to a coffee shop in the middle of the week, all the hot actors are at that place. I perform at the theater down the street, so it's not fun to cruise there. Because people are like, hey, I saw you in there.

You had your laptop out, but you just kept staring at that hot guy the whole time. What were you doing? God damn it. Can I just have some privacy? There's a helicopter ahead, probably trying to stop the rain with chemtrails. You go, helicopter. Okay. Vanderpump Drools is over.

So why don't we go on to Euros of Hollywood. This was all about Sasha. Now, I have to saywood this was all about sasha and i have to say like this is very funny i have to say like you know this is a whole birthday party and i have to say that this is like this is like i didn't want to have like a lot of drama at the birthday party but this is like i have to say very funny a lot of drama here it's very american there's so many people um because there's such a party because i'm such a big deal like from where i'm from that i need to have people. And they have to be like, wow, you're doing so great for yourself.

Because look at you, you have this big birthday party. So it means you must be doing something so great for yourself. And that's how to be an American. Here it is. This is like one of the best restaurants in Los Angeles right now. And so I have to show the Germans that this is going very well for me right now. So I have to say that I think I did a very good party. So funny. I thought I was pretty

good at his little stupid party. He ended up just taking the same people from his photo shoot, right? Didn't somebody just do a photo shoot with all those crazy... I think so. You know, I actually like Sasha so much. I feel like he seems like a little irritable sometimes, but

he seems like a really nice guy. Like, he seems like, I feel like we could be friends. No, I think he just, I don't know, there's something very likable about Sasha, but what I did think was funny was that for the past two episodes, it was like, so, you know, I'm having a big birthday party, and the Germans are gonna be there, and I need to show them that there's not a lot of drama.

Like, I don't want any drama to be there, I just want it to be good vibes. So I want, like, funny and leona just to get to the bottom of it so we can just have a good time, you know? And then the only one who creates drama the entire party is Sasha when he goes after Isabel. Yeah, he loves it. He loves the dramas.

He's a queen. And if you notice, okay, so this week we also got to hear some of his music and see him in the producing, you know, in the producing arena. And we got to see who he's working with and like his little Euro friends who are like his teammates. And there's one, he's like the little bear with a beard, like a blonde beard. I think he's in love with Sasha.

I'm not sure if they do it. The other guy with him was Bjorn. There was Bjorn and Lars. I think. Wow, you have a good memory. Well, because I was just like, these are such stereotypically German names like Bjorn and Lars like Sven yeah um but yeah

I think that he's in love with him and also I think Sasha might be gay because he left his wife in a different country and also I think he might be gay because he loves to stir the shit he just wants to go to surf for his birthday which is the gayest thing i've ever heard yeah and he wants to um start

shit with women which is also so gay yeah yeah it's he's definitely leaning leading that way i think a little bit at least um so you know in this episode i'm trying to remember the funny things uh with fanny well funny called up her mom i loved fanny's mom because funny's like hello mama hello mama i'm here to show you my eye i'm doing so good i am i met so many people sometimes they try to touch my boobies and sometimes i go to the park she's like oh this is great yeah the mom's like oh just keep doing your art and then funny is like i just feel like i've created my whole new life out here for me and this is what i'm all about my new life with art yeah all i want to do is make some art for my life.

Because I'm funny. Funny. Funny does art for Sasha. So that's basically all Bonnie did. Because her whole thing was she was just like, here's my art. And I'm going to the party. And I'm not going to like, I don't want to talk to Isabel. And then there was, oh, what's his face?

What's the Italian guy's name again um what's his name you know uh the gay italian oh yes massimo massimo's he got to go to romania he's so you know he's so winsome he's kind of like this never-ending optimist uh or he's got never-ending optimistic fuel inside of him. And doing his low-budget movie where he has two lines in Russian, and he gets strangled. He's like, he's like,

thank you so much for this opportunity. Like, now I have a career. I'm now living off my acting. I'm like, well. I don't know about that. No, you got a month's rent. But you're living. And you got flown somewhere to do this.

Yeah. Massimo is so cute and so positive. I really like that kid. I don't know about his dancing and all of that. Even Fon, he's like, Oh, Massimo, he's so nice, but he shouldn't dance like this.

He's not sexy. And Bliona, everybody put Bliona in her place. So she's trying to be so nice now. She's like, oh, I love this party. Oh, listen to the music. It's so wonderful. I'm Bliona. I love your eye shadow.

Oh, Sasha, it was a great song. I love this. I actually love this song. She's like, mother, you look like shit. Someone fix my mother's face. It looks disgusting. I honestly, like, I really do wonder if you are trying to make it in America as like a pop star, you know, and trying to seem young and relevant

and you're trying to pass yourself off as 29, doesn't it really work against your image to constantly be filmed with your old parents in your old person's apartment? Well, Russian decoration is different than ours. Eastern European in general. Whatever. It's not, you know, I'm an ignorant American.

To me, there's like russia and london okay and ireland that's all it's all over there okay i know you from your i know the difference because of accents not borders um i'm literally without borders you guys i'm a recapper without borders so progressive but yeah yeah, that Euro decoration isn't very cute. It's like granny curtains and carpeting. Yeah. Granny curtains and carpeting. So I have to say, I didn't mind Sasha's song.

I didn't think it was the worst. I liked it, actually. I have to say, I really liked it. I thought it was good. I love that kind of music. It's very... Yeah, it was like minimalist. Let's say, none wake away. Fire away,

fire away. What is that song? Who made that song? That's Titanium by Sia and David Guetta. Yeah, David Guetta. I love that guy. It's kind of similar to his music. Yeah. I mean, I know it is.

But Isabel, with zero talent, is like, it needs more. She's like, it needs another layer. It needs other layers. It needs layers. It just needs layers. I don't think that she's actually the authority on house music. She's just married to an authority. She married, you know, that's a Real Housewives trademark,

where you marry somebody with talent, and then suddenly you have talent like no bitch although it was funny that when sasha was he basically was the reason why he was really pissed was because of the last party she didn't introduce him to steve angelo and he was really annoyed but he's like this isn't about this isn't about you know uh me about meeting who your husband is it's more like you know if i was at a party and I didn't introduce you to my wife, I think that'd be very rude. I'm like, shut up, Sasha. Don't. Yeah, it's obviously you're mad that you didn't get introduced to the famous guy. But I think what he's trying to say without really saying it because he'd come off as a total douche is if we're a group that's saying we're going to help each other make it in America.

And I'm trying to produce a song for Leona to help her. And she's doing it with me to get me publicity on this show that we're on. And then if, you know, we're trying to get Fonny this and we're trying, we're all helping each other. And you're just sitting there like a bitch and you're the only one without any talent. And you're not wanting to help anybody do anything. You just want to sit there and be more famous than people. And also that bitch is walking around that party like it's all she's like oh it's so over the top and tacky yeah um you had a fucking keg stand at your party okay people were doing keg stands please be quiet although i did kind of like her party her party sucked ass are you crazy i love

beer pong i totally would have done it i totally would have gone to it but it was sort of like her party was definitely like hipster like well you know that i mean here's the thing i mean her party was no part and there was like during ironic which shows that she's kind of you know she gets la culture i think she was i think she gets i think she was doing the la thing and the euros were doing the euro thing which is why they're gonna have trouble succeeding because they have to sort of like be cool angelinos if they want to get no the la thing is to like have an open bar and like have a classy rooftop party with like music and stuff and catering she had like peanut butter sandwiches and a keg and then like red cups to put soda if you happen to bring some no she i mean she had an open bar too, I thought.

No, she didn't have a bar. They didn't have booze. Oh, they had cheap beer. She had cheap beer, but I still think, listen, I have been to many hipster parties. She was falling right in line with that, I felt like. Either way, she did have an

attitude about the party. Well, first of all, can you really blame her? She's that sir for crying out loud. I would have an attitude too. Well, not when I just had a keg at my party. I think I would readjust my expectations. But you know, you did touch on something, which is that the rest of them actually do have a talent. Like maybe not so much Massimo. But he's trying.

He's trying to. But, you know, Fania actually got a certain kind of charisma and i think he works he really you know he does he hustles and i have to really respect that yeah me too and funny i actually do think is talented with her art at the very least i haven't really heard much of her music i heard one song it was sort of like whatever but but you know she's not like she's not one of these people that says that she's an artist and then it's like crap on a canvas. There is actually artistry that she shows. Sasha is good at what

he does, actually. Even Belliona, she does something. She is the Madonna of Albania. I'm wondering if this... She's hustling. She's like, okay, here's the song list. We've got two songs from Timbaland. Oh, no. I'm doing this god damn you real housewives of melbourne you know that's never

gonna leave my brain i still do it all the time for fun we got two songs two songs from timberland and oh no it's happening to me too now she's got i've got two songs from Timberland. But yeah, she's spending all this money on producers. She's got it. I mean, what is her budget and how rich is she? Jesus Christ. Has the dollar really suffered that much? Well, it sounds like her dad was pretty connected. He

was. It sounds like he killed people. So he probably had a good. I know. I love that she's bragging about her father being able to make people disappear. I know. Either way, I really enjoy the Euros show. I hope people are watching it. They probably aren't. Yeah, I really like the Euros of Hollywood, too.

I doubt that it'll be around for another go at it, but I like it. I think the nice change is that it's actually about nice people. And that's really love. And I feel like Southern Charm was that way, too, where it's generally about really nice people. And they got in fights just sometimes, but it was mostly just you enjoying them being fun. Yeah, absolutely. Nice change. Take note, Housewiveswives which possibly they are bringing

people like lisa rena on but yeah who knows so now ron and i have an issue here which is that i texted ronnie and i said are we going to cover uh the girlfriend's guy to divorce and ronnie was like yeah i think we was like well we probably should at least the first one i was like yeah no you're right so i watched this show and then ronnie said he didn't watch it i'm so yeah sorry but guess what was on last night the penultimate episode two-hour episode of sons of anarchy and after i watched that i was like i cannot sit through the girl's guide to divorce after watching okay i respect that so i respect that i had to take a moment and breathe deeply and sit there in the silence and just think about what went down. You know what?

I respect that, Ronnie. I really do. So I did watch this show. Plus, how many times did I get stuck watching fucking Below Deck or some crap you didn't watch? Jerk. I know. But I am curious about this show because during Housewives, they were showing like an extended commercial of it where she's standing with her ex-husband at the bar ordering drinks. And he's like, oh, I'll have something frigid.

And she's like, I'll have something that cheats with a cherry. And he's like, I'll have something old and scraggly and dried up. And she's like, I'll have ball skin down to my knees. And it's like this stupid war at the bar and i was like i don't know about this show yeah i mean it's hard to say uh i i actually felt like it was not a proper fit with bravo believe it or not when i was watching it it was very much there's that phone again i guarantee oh there's those telemarketers again that's lisa edelstein calling like, are you talking about my show?

She's like, this is Lisa Edelstein. Yeah. Are you happy with your home phone service? I know. Sorry, everyone. Have you considered adding voicemail to your package? Bling, bling, bling, bling. Yeah.

Oh, I'm being called to be a witness on the next episode of Serial. It's probably my parents calling about dinner. on the next episode of Serial. It's probably my parents calling about dinner. So anyway, you know, the thing was that the show, I thought the show was going to be more like she already was divorced, and now she's, like, finding her way. But really, the pilot was much more

about the decline of her marriage. And it was kind of like depressing, I thought, you know, because of that. Like it wasn't like First Wives Club. I'm not saying I thought it would be like First Wives Club, but meaning that like the joy and the liberation that comes with, you know, moving on in life, you know? It was like, oh, look at this marriage fall apart.

And this is, I don't know. It was like... was like i think just because it's the first episode but i think like i i just thought it was going to start off like in the first minute we'd find out that the divorce is like it's like he's left her or whatever in the first scene and now it's happening but instead it was like oh we're gonna watch it fall apart um but the reason why i actually felt like it doesn't – to me it actually played more like a show that would be on E and not Bravo because – E, ouch. No, no, no.

It doesn't say anything about the quality of it. But it's more – E is where you go and you watch your Sex and the City reruns on E. You watch Kardashians. You watch E Sex and the City reruns on E. You watch Kardashians. You watch E! News. It's sort of like a network that you watch if you're a sassy woman, I feel like. It's the network that you watch with a red Cosmo. And I know that Bravo is very similar. But I do think that there is a difference between the Bravo brand and the E! brand. And I thought this was more an E! show.

And so I'm not the demographic for Girlfriend's Guide. Well, one of the reasons that I didn't watch it was because it was an hour. What the frick? I don't think that show needs to be an hour. I thought it was going to be a half an hour comedy. And it was more drama. It was light in tone, but it was more of a dramedy

leaning towards drama i found and uh that that caught me off guard a little bit uh i i thought it was gonna be a half an hour comedy and i think i think there's room for a half an hour comedy about divorce but i feel like this like this the tone of the show just did not it didn't it it just did not seem very bravo to me which doesn't isn't necessarily mean anything that's wrong with the show but it just means that like i'm i'm the bravo demographic i feel like or part of it and it didn't really speak to me in that way necessarily it's also it'll be interesting to see what they do because i think they're coming out with a few scripted things they did have i heard that they were doing a tv version of heathers but i guess that well during during it they they had commercials for

something called odd man odd odd mom out i think and it was like it was like this woman in the upper east side she's like a mom smoking a cigarette in the bathroom. Again, it's one of these sardonic, kind of like over it, tonally thing. you know, again, I just feel like, believe it or not, I feel like that actually works better on E. I know that sounds crazy. I don't watch E at all.

So, I mean, E is dead to me since the Kardashians. Yeah, I just feel like I just you know I feel like watching Sex and the City or whatever there's I don't know there's a certain type uh there's a certain like mindset you get in when you watch Sex and the City and I feel like that's the same mindset that you want to get in before you watch Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce and I feel like in Bravo you know I think I think if i were to see something scripted on bravo i want it to be um more i know it sounds crazy but like flamboyant and not being like oh

my god gay queens or whatever but i think i think everything on bravo is kind of silly and i think i think this is almost too serious for bravo well, I really like the idea of Another Sex and the City because I love that show, and I love the cast that they've assembled for it. So I'll have to check it out, and I'll watch it again next week. Janine Garofalo is, I think, the best, and her character is the most interesting.

I find that the ex-husband, he's unpleasant. And there was someone else. Oh, Bernadette Peters is going to play her mom, which is sort of interesting. Love her. Oh, my God. Okay, I'm sold. I'll be watching every episode of Bernadette.

Because I was watching that Into the Woods movie. And I was, I mean, Meryl Streep's really, really, I mean, obviously, she's Meryl Streep. People would clap after everything Meryl Streep did in that movie. People are so in love with her. But I was still like, bitch, you better back away from Bernadette's role. Yeah. I don't care if Bernadette Peters is 5,000 years old. You better bring her ass out here to sing this song because it'll make me cry.

Good acting, though, Meryl. Okay, but I'm looking up this odd mom out, and I love the idea of this. The single camera series captures the outrageous world of the uber-wealthy momzillas of New York's Upper East Side. Oh, my God. What a great idea for a show. Those bitches are crazy. Yeah. I'm friends with one of those ladies, and it is frightening how they work they're like

they all read the same websites they all talk about the exact same things they have the same little opinions the same hair love it i think it's gonna be good it could be good i guess i mean we'll watch it we'll watch it yeah we'll be there we'll at least watch the first episode um but either way i'm sorry i let you down ben but I'll watch it next week for sure it's alright you know what I'm always happy for Lisa Edelstein I you know I have a special place in my heart for Cuddy from House so

Ben will you watch the season finale of Sons of Anarchy next Tuesday please I forgot about it with somebody I have to wash my hair I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ronnie. I can't do it. Happy birthday, Ben.

Thanks, Ronnie. Tomorrow's your birthday. This is true. Tomorrow's the birthday. Happy birthday, Ben. Thanks, Ronnie. You guys can leave Ben a birthday present at Patreon.com. I love that you on Thanksgiving, you you're like we're so thankful for you

especially the people who signed up at patreon.com I am thankful they're paying my bills patreon.com to feel how thankful we are no I am thankful because they're paying my bills for crying out loud

hell yeah yeah yeah what what because they're paying my bills for crying out loud. Of course I'm yelling. Hell yeah. Hell to the yeah yeah. What what. Woo woo. Shabang bang. Ding dong. Lick a lick.

Lick a lick a lick. So anyway, another fun episode done and complete. To follow us on social media, go to watchwhatcrapins.com and you'll find the links to everything. And there's a lot to get involved with. And as Ronnie was just mentioning, dot com forward slash watch what crap ends I think we're at like six hundred and thirty dollars so far per episode which is

amazing and if we get to a thousand there will be two episodes of watch what crap ends per week of course people who donate get to get to listen to bonus the bonus after show oh and one more thing we are doing doing a Google Hangout next week, which is Thursday the 11th for Patreon subscribers. So they've been really fun. We've done two so far.

So if you want to be a part of that, just keep an eye on our Facebook page for all the details. And we'll send you to the appropriate links. Super fun. Right, Ronnie? It's going to be so part of that. Just keep an eye on our Facebook page for all the details and we'll send you to the appropriate links. Super fun. Right, Ronnie? It's going to be so fun, guys. It's the most fun you've ever had on a Google Hangout. That's right.

And also, don't forget to go to Patreon for your ringers that have been put up for the month of November. There's four to five ringers there. Yeah. They're real funny. There's Google Me Bitch, Riley,

Funny Song that Ben sings and wrote, and a little... I think there's a couple little candy things in there. Yeah. And I heard through the grapevine that there might be a Bravo Christmas Carol

coming out soon. Oh my god, I totally heard about it. I heard that too. Everyone should stay listening to Watch What Crappens to find out more details. Christmas time come funny times. So, anyway, everyone, thanks for listening, and

we'll see you next week when I'll be a little bit older. Bye, everybody. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called

Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash waitforitcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny.

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We see an office party in your future, hosted by you. Hashtag happy face. Hashtag savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.