Watch What Crappens - #157: Palm Springs Highlights and Ho Resumes: Top Chef, RHOA, RHOBH

Episode Date: December 17, 2014

Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) join forces to rag on Top Chef, Real Housewives of Atlanta and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Why are gays so waxed? Why is Boston so pissy? Why can?t you put ho on a resume? Come on in! Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Okay, thank you. Bye, guys. Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello, everyone. Welcome to Watch that crappens. you're the great guy you are the greatest of the greats come on to facebook.com slash watch what crappens if you want to talk to us during the week comment on all the shows and post your own stories and all of that stuff it's a really good community over there we will be reading it throughout the post there throughout the show today as usual and if you want to find our own social media links you can go to watch what crappens.com. That has links to all of our social media outlets, our websites, blah, blah, blah.

Please support us. You can go to Patreon.com slash WatchWhatCrappens. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N, Patreon.com slash WatchWhatCrappens. You can become a paid subscriber there. All of our shows are free. But if you become a paid subscriber, you'll get a bonus episode every week that's about 20 to 30 minutes. And we do ringers once a month. And we do a Google Hangout, which is going to be tomorrow night, Thursday the 18th.

Yes, a Christmas party. It's our Christmas party on the internet. Yeah, we're going to have an internet Christmas party tomorrow. So come join us there and get in on a lot of the extra stuff because it's super fun. I'm doing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps on Trash Talk TV. And I think that's all our plug-in. What do you have to say, Dan? Well, I was just going to say that this week's bonus episode, we just recorded it.

We're talking about the Sony hack. We talked about cereal again. And we sort of talked about the junk on our Facebook feed. So it's actually a really funny episode. I really enjoyed it. Because cereal is almost over. Mm-hmm. Okay.

So before we start talking about cereal for another five hours, because for some reason I can. Mm-hmm. Let's discuss these old Bravo shows, Ben. Oh, yeah. Which one do you want to start with? Whatever one you want to. I actually took a few. I took a whole bunch of notes on Vanderpump Rules and took a few notes on the others.

Let us. You know what? Let's talk about Top Chef really quick. I know we never talk about it. But are you caught up on Top Chef? Of course. Okay. What are your thoughts on this season of of top chef because we really haven't discussed it very much i am a top chef apologist and so i just always i just always like top chef no matter what

um i don't think it's as good as last season because i loved top chef new orleans because i loved um i like the characters on new or more. There were people like I rooted for, like Shirley. And there were like three people that I wanted to win last season. On top of that, I thought the challenges in New Orleans were really good. And I thought that that season did a really good job of exploring the different food scenes in New Orleans. You know, prior to that season of Top Chef, I was like, yeah, you know, Cajun food's nice or whatever. But I had no active interest in it. And that show made so many parts of Louisiana cuisine look so tasty to me and interesting. It sort of like opened my eyes to it. And then as

luck would have it, I actually went to New Orleans in April. And I was like, so excited to go there and try all this food that I'd seen on the show and I feel like that was Top Chef at its best both a fun competition fun characters but illuminating too so I thought that was great I don't think the Boston season has been as illuminating but because I do I did hear that Boston really resisted the Top Chef crew like they made it really hard for them to shoot they made it really hard for them to shoot. They made it really hard for them to do a lot of the things they wanted to do.

I don't think they had as much freedom and therefore couldn't really explore the city the way they did the previous season. Oh, well, that makes sense. Because, yeah, it seems a little weird. It's like the only thing we really see about Boston... I mean, it's all this Americana stuff, which, I don't know. I mean, it's all this Americana stuff, which I don't know.

I don't like it, and I don't know why, but it's just so boring to me. Like, I don't want to watch people cooking on the ground in dirt. Because this latest episode, the Elimination Challenge, took place in the

Top Chef Kitchen kitchen because they brought alex is his name alex the guy who was eliminated first and he came he won his way back into the show and um they had like all these super fans come in including this like super adorable indian girl i mean i assume she's indian she was so, my God. She's my favorite part of the show. But they did the challenge in the kitchen, which was very reminiscent of Top Chef Masters or Just Desserts, which are like much cheaper shows. And I was like, this season is feeling a little – it doesn't feel like it has the scope of the other seasons. But then I remember that's because Boston pushed pushed back but that's of course typical boston is to make people's lives hell yeah what's up with that that's an east coast thing no boston

boston is very much it's a beautiful city and they're in in some ways it's a very worldly city with all these great educational institutions a lot of culture but the the climate of boston is very much this is the way we do things and this is the way it is and we're not going to like change this is this is the way we know it's like there's sort of a provincial mindset i'm sorry if there are any bostonians out there but you know it's true don't act like it's not i went to school in new england and i went to school with a lot of people from massachusetts and boston specifically i feel i can speak about this with authority And I went to school with a lot of people from Massachusetts and Boston specifically. I feel I can speak about this with authority.

Yeah. Part of it, too, is just the maybe it's the people that are on it. Yeah. And this is a complaint I always have with these kinds of shows. I really just want to see them cook. I want to know what they're making and how they're making it. I want them, when they're chopping shit up, to be like, I'm using a julienne chop on this because it's important for these pieces to be long and perfectly chopped. And here's how I do it fast.

Or, you know, the best way to cook a chicken breast, sure, it's boring. But if you just put it in some ice water and lemon and salt first for about 15 minutes, and then you poke holes in the middle and then make sure you don't put it on more than five minutes at this you know i know that sounds like technical and boring no i know there's well they don't have to list a recipe but they could they could explain a little bit more about why they're cooking something the way they are they usually talk about why they're cooking something because it's gonna because it goes into disaster you know yeah i would like tips where they're like oh if you crack going to – because it goes into disaster. I would like more of that. Tips where they're like, oh, if you crack the egg not against a bowl but on a flat surface,

you won't get any shells in your egg bowl. Stuff like on the Food Network how you have to always have a tip. Yeah. How about like maybe de-emphasize some of the quick fire a little bit? Like you don't need as much time with quick fire. Maybe that would help it. There's more room to talk about what they're cooking. I don't you don't need as much time with quick fire maybe that maybe that would help it there's more room to talk about what they're what they're cooking well i don't know showing them cook anyway it's like they're taking the time to show them cook but instead of like actually educating people they're just like oh no i left my lemons back at the ranch oh shit what am i

gonna do with that lemon can i borrow your lemons no what a bitch you wouldn't give me a lemon yeah it's like or how about stupid how about instead of the 30 millionth time we've seen on top chef someone saying man when i was a kid i was really out of control i got into drugs i got and then cooking kind of saved me and then once i started cooking it like it cleaned me up like every single chef says that every single episode like like we don't need to see that we know that's the story behind all these chefs is that they didn't finish high school but they went on to they they found food they went to culinary culinary school and then we see a picture of them graduating and they look all

clean cut and then cut to them now and they've got tattoos like under their eyeballs. They look stupid. Like enough. Like we get it. It's the same arc every single time. Yeah. And I think having these shows on for so many years and so many of them have trained people to be contestants. And it's just it's not as fun to watch because they're all, you know, basically practiced and they all have their stories. It's like, oh, look, I making a, I'm making minestrone.

And the reason I make minestrone is because my mom used to be poor and she used to work five jobs, but minestrone was the easiest thing and she would come home and she would make this for us, for us kids. And it would just make us feel so loved. And then she got cancer and died. It's like, Oh geez. Every single, no no you're totally right

every single one has the same backstory right i um or any backstory at all even if they don't have one they make it sound like this important thing i miss them i miss my family i miss my kids that's another big one yeah i that being said i do have some favorites i do like dougie he's the little one um i like the guy who was voted out oh not voted he was eliminated was adam's that his name he's this sort of yeah i laughed and pointed when he got eliminated only because he's just arrogant yeah and whenever they spend the entire episode showing one person going i don't even know what they're doing here i can cook circles around them what losers yeah i'm amazing i'm an amazing cook. They're stupid.

They suck. Do you know who I've worked for? Bye. You're out. I like the black guy. He actually seems like he's the most talented. I like Mae. For some reason, I always root for the Asian girl on this show.

So I'm rooting for both. I'm rooting for the other Asian girl. Yeah, I like her too. She's the other Asian girl is so pretty. Mae's just so cocky. And I love that she basically lost two challenges in a row. That was hilarious. I know, but I like May.

But I work for Voltaggio, so... I was sorry, everyone. I'm eating. We didn't take a break between our bonus episode and this one, so I'm cramming a protein bar down my face. Who else is on? Those are the people I like the most. I'm cramming a protein bar down my face. But who else is on it? Those are the people I like the most. I'm glad Carrie-Anne is gone.

I liked her in the beginning, but I got sick of her. I missed the nice girl. What were a couple nights? She was kind of borderline nice. Are you talking about Carrie-Anne? No, I'm talking about the nice girl who got eliminated. She lost to the new guy, the new old the new old guy oh yeah the cooking teacher i liked her so much even though she was eventually out of her league oh so you know what i you know what cracked me up the new guy i think his name

is alex when he's giving his backstory he's like well i'm gonna cook something with like uh like lamb because my family uh owns like all greek diners i was like oh really like no shit sherlock i mean look at the guy his hair is like greased back he's in a black tank top he's got like a necklace on chest hair coming out the top i mean this guy's like the most greek dinery air of all time yeah frozen french fries come with everything with a side of yogurt yeah oh one thing we have to talk about is how the the uh the the shopping, which was – I was laughing because I just, like, love Padma. Like, Padma can really do nothing wrong in my book. I just love her, even though I've heard terrible stories about her.

I mean, she, like, stole Richard Blaze's fish, and then they had just, like, spilled out on the floor. And she's like, oh, like, clean up in aisle five.'m like you just wasted like a hundred dollars worth of fish at least for some reason for some reason i'm just like oh padma i'm just like isn't she wonderful padma's such an asshole i love in restaurant wars how she was like i haven't had to wait for a table this long and forever geez just so full of yourself you know the biggest asshole was freaking richard blaze got all that molecular gastronomy shit that no one used i mean why like it's just so annoying like we know you are into molecular gastronomy but the challenge is not like what can you make it's like you know what these chefs are all about so make something

give them ingredients that they can use well i think I'm just maybe a little over cooking shows because I watch so many of them. And I'm so obsessed with them that even when there's not one to watch, I keep looking more of them up on the internet. Like I found Jamie Oliver. The Taste is back on. Ugh. You want to talk about a show. At least that one tries to teach some parts. tries to like teach at some parts like all the all the uh celebrity judges have or the you know what i mean yeah the chef judges they actually have to show their teams how to cook something

every week and then the teams have to try and replicate it in one of the challenges and so that i guess is kind of neat but that's another one it's like this two hour long show and you watch so i think it's two hours. I mean, I watch it on the internet, but it seems really long. Wait, hold on. Maybe it's an hour and a half. I got someone at the door. I think it's UPS.

Hold on. Oh, for Christ's sake. All right. All right. Jesus mother effer. We're back. What'd you get from UPS? I got some screeners.

I got the Hobbit. What screeners are they? I got the Hobbit, vice and unbroken what's unbroken it's angelina jolie's new movie oh my god did you see the angelina jolie video to her fans oh my no i didn't see that everybody look it up she's like hi everybody it's me angelina you might be wondering where i am right now well i'm not doing promotion for my new wonderful movie unbroken i have chicken pulks no i'm at home with my chicken pulks that's it um thanks it's like the most awkward video ever and she has a madonna fake english accent now

has she always had that i think uh i think it's been a recent thing i wish she had to put up the hashtag shingle white female hashtag shingle white female i'm gonna tweet that i'm gonna tweet it right now i'm gonna get i'm gonna beat angelina jolie to it well she wasn't a single white female was she no because um if you have chicken pox you then have like you can get shingles if you have chicken box so there's this commercial that's on all the time right now that's like if you've had chicken box and the shingles viruses i do already oh god yeah so anyway angelina jolie is not on bravo but anyway the taste i was saying i don't even know what the taste is not bravo but anyway that

show is so long and they make like hundreds of dishes and you never know what the hell they're doing and then it comes out on this little tiny spoon and then watching the judges try and pretend they know what they're even doing sometimes it's really funny they're like what is this taste what is this i can't play so um what did you put in this because i don't recognize it like lemon zest oh that's it that's it lemon zest and ludo oh you don't listen to me exactly oh get out of here uh i'm just uh happy happy that Brian Malarkey is not on that show anymore. He was the worst. Now it's Marcus Samuelson. He was also pretty arrogant, but I like him.

He's a Top Chef Master. He's a Top Chef Master. He won one season of Top Chef Master. I think he won Top Chef Master. I think he also won Iron Chef, didn't he? He wins everything. He's like one of the top yeah he's good people of all time he's like this guy could give you uh good advice uh you know and he's a good chef because he has

a james beard award but i have six i'm like okay but everyone loves me yeah and um i feel bad for nigella on that show because no one chooses her it's like being the gwen stefani of the voice you know the taste i would like pick her immediately i love nigella but nigella has this well she always loses and she also has this really terrible flaw where she tries to pick the home cooks on purpose so she's picking the worst cooks because she thinks that they're home like if they're if they don't have enough technique she's like oh it's a home cook i'm a home cook i'll pick a home cook no bitch you're doing that because her food's not good like don't pick people because they're not as refined as the other people how do you think you're gonna win and of course she you know is already behind her anyway i don't know why we're talking about that show sorry well one of my favorite top chef one

of my favorite top chef episodes of all time was when Nigella and Padma had breakfast in bed in Las Vegas. Oh, that was good. And you know what? Nigella was an excellent Top Chef judge. And I don't know why she has not been back. I think she's just doing her own thing. I think the taste is her show. Yeah, I guess so.

She also does the UK version with the same judges. Well, at least Anthony and Ludo. I see. I see. That one's really good. And the UK one, they really show you what they're doing. It's like a real kitchen they're in. It's not some weird DeVoy set.

It's like a real kitchen, and it's really quiet, and they have classical music playing. It's so different. I like that. I don't know what it is, but i wish arts was like that they're like what are you making and they're like i'm making a biscuit and here's how i do it you gotta sift the flour first yeah that's good i love that well uk um reality shows are funny because they just um they rely on narrators a lot more i notice like that i don't think they use confessionals as much to tell the story so i find that whenever i watch a british reality show it's always like one small thing

happens like someone says oh i like this quite a bit and then narrator says nigella likes it quite a bit but what she doesn't realize is that so-and-so has been sitting in the backyard and is thinking about her mother and then the other person's like i miss my mom and it's like meanwhile in the other room so-and-so has just gone to the bathroom. And someone's like, yeah, that was, oh, I just took a good load off me. Meanwhile, and it's like, oh, it goes from one thing to another. There's like so much narrator. Like the scenes don't really develop.

Do you think it's just because the Americans are so trained in giving a monologue and the Brits aren't? Because last year on the UK one, they had this girl who looked just like Lena Dunham. She was just kind of like dumpy nerdy girl you know and she was suffering from a lack of confidence and they they would do that with her all the time they'd be like lena is sitting in the corner disappointed with herself over her biscuits lena and she'd be like i'm disappointed over my biscuits next let's go into the kitchen yeah it's like they really do. Like every single thing they telegraph.

The London Telegraph. But also that people just don't go on big monologues. They'll be like, so how did this challenge go for you, darling? And she's like, well, I dropped my dough. That wasn't fun. And then I put it in the oven. Well, one time I was watching like some weird british version of like the real world where a bunch of like horny brits actually more like

temptation island they were on an island together and they were all drunk and i was watching this with my friend nikki spice well we call it nikki spice and i think she listens to this podcast so hey nikki spice and there are these british people i was like this, again, heavily narrated it was like Charles really enjoys Nadine's company and so he's invited her into the kitchen to have some wine and then they'd be like, this is lovely wine meanwhile in the living room

so and so, anyway, they got all drunk and one of them had like a shrimp, like a live shrimp he's like holding this live shrimp and they're like they're like, Nathan has found himself One of them had like a shrimp, like a live shrimp. It's like holding this live shrimp. And they're like, Nathan has found himself a shrimp and he wants to make it his pet. He's like, everyone look at my shrimp. Oh, I found a shrimp.

And they all start laughing. And he puts the shrimp on the floor and stomps on it. And they show this poor flattened shrimp on the floor. And I was like, you know what? And they all started laughing. And I was like, British reality TV is not for me. They're stomping on shrimp and shit. They're like, Nathan has just stomped on a shrimp. Meanwhile, in the other villa, people are having conversations.

Let's move on to a housewives show, shall we? Yeah. I feel like most of the people that listen listen to this y'all are housewives people and we just gave you a good 20 minutes of top chef so take that we gave you a double serving of top chef i love me some top chef even even this slow this is the first season i've been like i'm not picky when it comes to Top Chef. I love every season, too. But this year, I'm like, meh. Yeah. We don't like it. Okay. So, which housewives?

Well, I'm open for whatever you'd like. You want to do Beverly Hills since it was just right now? I only wrote one note for Beverly Hills this week, and I said, Taylor's gay Dwight is now Lisa's gay. I know. That was pretty cool. At first, I thought, well, maybe it's just not the same Dwight because he's's gay I know that was pretty well at first I thought well maybe it's just not the same Dwight because he's in Palm Springs and this and that but man the minute he gave that speech

where he was like this is the speech for Lisa Lisa many gay people have a hard time when they are young and you are wonderful and I love milk white milk and crackers together possibly in the microwave but i mostly like them room temperature thank you and lisa's like oh darling i'm crying like dwight stop talking you boring ass motherfucker i've never met a gay best friend as

boring as you dwight that's how I would be as a gay best friend because I'm not like I'm not showing up in some strange shirt and like with my eyebrows all lifted. Oh please. You don't look like a gay friend and you don't like necessarily talk like a Bravo gay but you're a fun gay friend. You're like, oh my god, let's go to this

new club and then this place is, you know I heard about this place and I totally just wrote a Yelp review about this other place and then I know this place in koreatown and this other place i sound awful i know this person and that person i can do this no you're like fun and social and active like that's the kind of game i want to be around the way you describe me i sound like actually like a broadway like like a number in a broadway musical like i just went to this place this place is fun and we can go to the club, and I wrote a review. Popular, so you want to be popular.

So we'll go to the Grove, we'll go to the Grove, and the museum, and the... No, I just mean like you're fun, and you have like a lot of fun things, even if they're really weird and gay. Like you have a lot of really fun things to do. Dwight does not. Dwight's just like, what are you doing?

I don't know, what are you doing? I don't know, what are you doing? I don't know. What are you doing? I don't know. What are you doing? I don't know. What are you doing? I don't know. What are you doing? Yeah.

He's like, whatever. But listen, on the spectrum of Bravo Gays, he's far from the worst. On the spectrum of Bravo Gays, he's the best because he's quiet. Sometimes from the Bravo Gvo gaze you just need a little silence you know okay i just came on to amazon.com do you want to know what is inspired by my shopping trends this is so sad i love this i'm gonna do this right after you true calm true calm herbal supplement estaxithin, Rhodiola, Best Phosphatidyl, Brain

Elevate, L-Arginine, Mood Support, St. John's Award. It's all these pills. And then Mediterranean Cookbook, The Shell Collector, 10 Things to Do Ages 10-12,

What the fuck? Tony robbins money master the game and easy crocheting what the fuck all right my my inspired by your shopping trends truly makes no sense the first one is an oxo good grips pop rectangle a half quart storage container which i would kind of like. One is something called Sir, as in S-I-R, Conference, and the Dragon of Pi, a Math Adventure. I have no idea why that's there.

And then a t-shirt that says, Pi, Pi t-shirt. I'm not like a mathematician. A Tron, attaché, encored lamp dimmer a web webkin signature west highland terrier plush toy like a westy toy the gentleman's guide to cocktails the modern gentleman second edition a guide to essential manners another lamp dimmer. Style Bible.

A six compact teabag box. Oh my goodness. An Ikea ceiling lamp. And a toothpick holder. I think that's another Westy thing. And a yogurt maker. You know what's so funny? Those are all items that Kim's daughter got for her wedding uh kim you know kim's wedding was actually i actually thought it was nice you know why i

liked it because it was like the first bravo wedding in the history of bravo weddings that was not a 30 minute affair on our tv screens it was five minutes at the end of the show very tastefully done with some actually some very sweet anecdotes from kim uh reminiscing about you know brooke growing up and uh i actually thought it was tastefully done for the first time ever and so i say bravo to bravo well i think bravo wants to fire kim but they don't because then kyle like supposedly kyle has Kim in her contract. Like, they're a package deal or whatever, which, I mean, I don't know why you would care if you lose Kyle either, frankly. But I think Bravo is just like, oh, God, Kim's daughter's having a wedding. All right, give it three minutes at the end of the show.

But I thought it was nice. It's not like, let's watch Kim prepare for the wedding. Let's do all this stuff. It's like. Let's watch Kim go to a store. And pretend to pick out a dress. And she's just like. What do you want?

I don't know. I like that dress. I like gold. And that's it. I like by the way. That Kathy Hilton. Totally stole. Kim's dress.

In a blue version. What the hell. After calling it. Like ugly or something right she totally had like the same dress but in blue i was like oh you are kathy hilton is not a nice woman god standing up there in that awful dress with her bad bra just being like oh hello welcome to the wedding she just doesn't come across as a very nice girl. But you know what, though? Brooke's new husband, super cute. He's the Fatburger heir, right?

I read that on our Facebook page, but I thought that it was Kyle's daughter who was dating the Fatburger heir. I think I said that. I think I misstated that. Oh, so Kim's daughter married the Fatburger heir. You know, what the fuck is wrong with me? What is wrong with my parents that they didn't instill these kind of values in me? I knew plenty of rich people growing up I could have tried to bag. Oh, wait. Oh, wait, never mind.

Yeah, no, I have a confirmation. It is Kim Richards' daughter, Brooke Brinson, marries the Fatburger heir. Sorry, I just completely ruined your rant about something funny no that was that was a non-listening moment for me um i am going i'm opening our facebook page right now to read comments okay so the kim the kim wedding was kind of boring and the whole watching her first husband die of brain cancer is so sad i I don't need any of this in my life. All right, let's lighten it up. And also, why is Kim dressed in the same color as all the vases in her house in all of her?

She's got to stay camouflaged in case Kingsley comes for her again. Kingsley, which one of the blue things is me? Don't bite me, Kingsley. I'm just a vase. Oh, Kingsles. I'm just a vase. Oh, Kingsles. Nothing here to bite. Just a bunch of vases.

So the other thing, let's see. Lisa Vanderpoops went to Palm Springs for her star on the walk of the whatever. That looked like a damn Furze cafeteria lobby. And there was like old people and highlights what is going on with the gays in palm springs i mean we've always known that y'all are your own brand out there and that's great you all seem to have a great time in that 120 degree weather but highlights come on guys every single one of you needs highlights did that come in recently did it never go out? Palm Springs, explain your sales, okay?

Yeah, Palm Springs Gays, I'm actually surprised they have not received a show on Bravo yet. But I think it's because Bravo doesn't really like doing shows actually about the gays. They like gays to be supporting characters. But they do deserve their own thing. Maybe Logo can go after that that crowd except they're all you know what they tried to do with on logo when they did that all boys housewives with balls or whatever it was called a list new york oh wow what a terrible show i mean that was gays but there was really only one married guy on there so it wasn't really a housewives well and then there was reichen and his boyfriend or whatever but that was just like awful gays that was like awful gays hanging out or whatever um and also i pissed off

a guy from that show i told you that right which one rodney derrick like the skinny bitch i think he threw the water on somebody i think he threw the water on he was awful right okay have i if i told the story on the podcast stop me in the middle I think you told it on Housewife Hoedown back in the day, so I think you should tell it again. Okay, so I was at Pride two years ago with my friends, walking along, having a great old time. One of them brings this guy, Derek. I recognized him, but I didn't know where from, and I'd seen him the week prior at Foo Bar sitting on the stool outside, which is for the dorm, like where the doorman sits. So I saw him and I was like, oh, hey, you're the new doorman at FUBAR. You're the new doorman at FUBAR.

What's up? And he's like, i'm not i said oh i thought you were because i was just there the other day and i saw you sitting on that stool right by the door that's where the doorman sits and he's like i was i don't even remember that i mean i was there i was like oh well i'm not accusing you of anything i was actually saying like hey uh the new doorman because i you know i talked to all the doorman at the food bar because my friends are smokers and he's like whatever like he just gave me a look like you're fat cress so yeah what a what a bitch so um i didn't know i still didn't recognize who he was right so i just kept calling him the doorman all day and because i was drunk too so i get even more but it's funny because any human being would

think that's like a hilarious mix-up and we just go with it and be like, yeah, I'm the doorman, the new doorman. Yeah, like, check IDs, you know. But everywhere we'd go in and people were like, can we see your ID? I'd be like, you can't ID a doorman, you know. I was just trying to, like, make him like me because he obviously hated my guts. So then at the end of the day, he leaves. It's not even the end of the day. It's like the middle of the day.

He's like, bye, bitches. Like, he did not like me. And I was like, sorry I made your friend so mad. I was just trying to fuck with him. And he goes, you know, you really can't be an asshole. That guy, you know, pretending that you thought he was a doorman is one thing. But then pretending you don't even know who he is the whole day. I said, who is he?

I don't know who he is. He acts like he's fucking Ryan Seacrest. Who is he? And he's like, well, actually it's funny you say that. Cause he moved here to, or he's here taking interviews on being a television host. He's really into TV hosting.

And he's from that show, the A-list. He's the one who threw water on. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I was hanging out. You're lucky. I didn't know who that fool was.

Yeah. That's how, like shame on your friend by the way for shaming you like i can't believe you didn't recognize this low level logo you know gays are so obsessed with celebrity even if you're upset even if you're a celebrity for like running over an old lady in a crosswalk they'll be like girl i saw you on the cover of the times crosswalk times will you marshal piss on me day at the fault line from wondery this is black history for real i'm and i'm consciously what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less, and a little bit more. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen

early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's industry's Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or beaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself.

But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of academy early and ad free right now by joining wondery plus um anyway why i'm this is a day of tangents yeah i don't even know why i'm telling that

stupid story we're talking about um because i think oh palm springs okay so they need a realwives show, and it would be perfect in Palm Springs because that's where the older gays... Okay, so for those of you who don't know any gay people, meet some. Yeah. But for those of you who do, you already know this. When gays... Gays just fuck until our penises stop working, right? So when our penises stop working, we start paying attention to what each other is saying and so then we get married right so we only get married i mean i guess my time's coming up and getting old but like gay guys get married when they're like 50 these days right

so that's where you find a palm springs married couples in their 50s doing nothing but bitching at each other and that would make an amazing show yeah i mean the the palm springs gays are they're kind of like adorable they tend to be these older men kind of like theater queens they go out there they see cabarets they you know they they listen to like like where gays can just be fun and gay and not have to worry about push-ups yeah they're sort of like into piano bars and they have very strange fashion choices. Like that one British gay guy that Lisa had who was like tall and looked like his eyes were connected to his ears. You know, that's sort of what they all kind of look like. He looked like his face had been gone over with a floor buffer.

I mean, all of those gays. They looked like they were the texture of like a Barbie doll, like that rubbery. Except for Dwight. Except for rubbery. Except for Dwight. Except for Dwight. Except for Dwight. God bless him. But the thing is, if there's a shirt that has three different types of patterns on it, it'll be off the racks in two seconds in Palm Springs. But I feel like it's a very sweet crowd of guys who just want to wear oversized button-down shirts and linen pants and have a glass of

wine on their head, maybe a straw hat, and talk about their favorite Kander and Ebb song. Totally. Maybe this time, personally. Oh my god, don't even say that. You know why? Because for some reason, I think it's because my friend Eric was in Cabaret this past week, that song

got into my head. It was in my head for like two days. I love that song. I watched like three versions of it on youtube i'm getting ready from yeah obviously liza's was best but then i saw a julie andrews version which was a little strange and um i saw someone else oh i saw the glee version i was like why am i doing oh no yeah don't do that to yourself also the version not to see is the one from bates motel where um the mom sings it at a community theater audition i was like what is happening on this show why is the mom auditioning for a community theater show in the middle of a psycho killer show what is that anyway another show that's not bravo but yeah that's a bad version i also saw the audra mcdonald version

which is not i did not like it that much i thought it'd be opera-y she's too obvious she's like yeah that's liza owns that one i have to say and that's not just a stereotypical fagito thing she really does she kills that one it's a certain type of voice that can do that one so yeah palm spring so these gays come over and i love that lisa lisa's getting a little risky with her behavior this season. Okay? And here's why. We've already talked about how she's kind of overplaying the victim card, even though she was legit the victim. She's starting to overplay that. And she's starting to do that thing where she's doing big events that would normally be a trip to Palm Springs with the girls at the beginning of the season.

And she's choosing to cast it on her own instead of bringing the castmates and saying things like, well, I'm not bringing my friends because I want a peaceful time. Listen, Mitch, I'm not watching this show for you to have a peaceful time with your purse holding, wig wearing, button down to his belly button, spray tan, old ass husband. Sitting around with a bunch of low-rent gays. Like, I'm not, that's not why I'm watching this show. You better cut a bitch. You better bring Brandy over here and start cutting a bitch. I'm not going to just stand here. Well, the best part is you just know Brandy's going to say something like,

I can't believe you didn't invite me to your star. Like, even though we're, like, in a fight, like, that's a big deal. And, like, I can't believe you didn't invite me to your star. Even though we were in a fight, that's a big deal. I really would have liked to have been there for you. You know Brandi's going to pull some shit like that, which is bullshit because Brandi did not invite Lisa to meet her dad up in Sacramento last season. Oh, but that was all in the past. And Lisa's done a lot of things too, which Brandi still can't name what those things are. But yeah, that's uh i don't know i need some maybe group scenes or something because lisa rena is so funny and sweet and i

really like her on the show but she's really so far just like a passive lap dog yeah that's how she's coming well i mean listen i i was happy to not have some of the other women there because it meant that rosio could have a seat at the dinner table, which was funny. Cause they're like, Oh, Rocio gets to eat with us. You know, Rocio is so wonderful.

And like Rocio just has to sit there quietly in the corner until they like mention her name. And then she still has to clear all the dishes. Oh, for Rocio. Rocio is so sweet. I know. And she's so pretty.

And I hope that Rocio learns her some English because she needs to be in those conversations because that shit would be hilarious. And she's around so many fascinating people. She needs to know what the hell everybody's talking about and get involved in the conversation. I want to know what she's thinking. I would like if Rocio swapped places with Lydia's maid in Melbourne or maybe like a whole bunch of the help. It should be like instead of wife swap it could be called help swap and so then like someone

like Lydia from Melbourne is stuck with Bernie the chef and then oh my god Bernie the chef Lisa Vanderpump has Lydia's Asian lady who like brought her like a tree or something and then someone gets Rocio i don't know who

i love rocio um she's cute but yeah i wanted to hear her talk more i i don't need to hear anybody's like talking about their vagina but i thought it was funny that how lisa rena was like what happened to body hair what's up with all this waxing everybody's doing and she's talking to three guys who look like they just ripped a band-aid off their entire body it's like there's like not an ounce of hair anywhere on them and meanwhile they're still like yeah i know i know waxing right uh uh speaking of grooming i thought it was hilarious how um like the morning of the ceremony uh lisa rena comes down and lisa vanderpump's like oh you're looking all so glamorous just for breakfast. Meanwhile, Lisa's in full

makeup. She's in a bathrobe, sure, but she's in full hair and makeup. And then Pandora comes in and she's like, oh, I'm just wearing my Notre Dame sweatpants and Pandora's in full makeup. I just love these women who like to act like they just rolled out of bed and they have like three layers of foundation on. They've been in the chair for two hours.

Not only that, but Lisa's wearing a full ball gown under the robe lisa rena's like let me see what's under there it's like this full it looks like a ball gown from the opening credits you know where they have to like wear diamonds no pajama pants on lisa look like a full-on ball it looks like a full-on pink satin ball gown oh that was uh that was a that was No, that was a what's it called? Nightgown. And then Lisa's like, I just wear a ratty old t-shirt too bad. Yeah. And Vanderpump

was like, really? That's sexy. And she goes, oh, do you wear any underwear? And Lisa Renna's like, depends. She literally meant depends, because you know, she's got a box of that shit sitting for free right beside her bed. Yeah, she's like, I might as well wear it even if I'm not going to crap my pants.

Although ironically, the last time I I talked about this on my other podcast The Banjo Blender back in April because I was in Palm Springs for dinner that night. Same night as the White Party, which we'll get to on Euros of Hollywood. I crapped my pants that night.

I did crap my pants. Ew. And I do wish I had some Depends. Wow. Why'd you poop your pants? Well, it's a very funny story. And the long and the short of it is that it was unexpected. I thought I was letting out a fart, and it was a shirt.

Oh, my God. Okay, that's enough. I hate those things. And I have literally not ever done that in my life. And it happened in Palm Springs and it was mortifying. And I had to like sneak into a bathroom and throw out my underwear. It was one of the worst experiences, but it was also hilarious.

If you want to hear the full story with all the details, I'm like, who wants to hear a story about feces? You can go to my podcast, the band or blunder. The episode I think is called the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to my podcast, The Banner Blender. The episode, I think, is called The Most Humiliating Thing That's Ever Happened to Me in My Life. That's funny.

So, yes, I would have appreciated some Depends when I was in Palm Springs and I was shitting while Leona was on a stage dancing in metal. Fuck, I'm famous! Yeah, but we'll get to that. We'll get to Euros later. Okay, so what else happened on this Beverly Hills show, Ben? Fuck, I'm famous. Yeah. But we'll get to that. We'll get to Euros later. Okay. So what else happened on this Beverly Hills show, man?

Kyle came back from Majorca. Oh, Yolanda. So there was a whole thing about Yolanda. Because, you know, Bella, you know, she got a DUI. And, you know, she's like, how could she not realize that my father died in a car accident? And I thought that, like, Yolanda's response was a little self-serving. Totally. She's like, her DUI is so hard on me.

I thought her response should have been more like, I can't believe she did that. She never should have taken the wine in the first place. She shouldn't have been, even if she had one glass, she shouldn't have driven. It was irresponsible. She could have imperiled her future. She blew twice the legal limit, so it wasn't one glass. Yeah. Yolanda should have said, it's embarrassing.

I'm mortified. It's embarrassing to me. It's embarrassing to David. It's embarrassing to all of us. But instead, her response was, I'm so sad for her decisions. And doesn't she know I can't deal with that because I already lost someone to a car i said how could you do that to me like that's that's that was the the dominant response well did you read um this email that was going around from yolanda it started on blind gossip or whatever.com it was this really long of course terribly spelled and put together email um that was from yolanda telling off bella

and like you i can't believe you're so spoiled um yeah that's what we wanted to hear it's gone it's gone off the damn internet now um let me see actually that's also available maybe here let me see if it's here because this is really worth worth reading and it was posted on our facebook but god damn it i did not take a screenshot of it oh i found one okay i found this one on all about the tea do you want to hear it or should i just summarize it because i think it might be fun to read it okay bella i just got your car back from the pond and i was looking for your purse as i stumbled on the most disastrous car I've ever seen in my entire life. And then she dot, dot, dots, but like 30 times. Now I'm really in tears and really scared.

Who are you? What were you thinking? You have literally turned into a spoiled, unthankful, unthoughtful, careless human being that is lucky to be alive. What an eye-opening experience to find beer cans, pink little bottles with vodka, bottles with Adderall, Viennese, rolling papers, and a car full of dirty clothes, underwear and bloodstains, Tampax. I've honestly never seen anything like it. Was your life that terrible at home? I'm at a loss for words. You need to do some serious soul-surging, Bella, to see how you got where you are.

And then get on your knees and thank God for still being alive. How can someone as kind, beautiful, and smart like you end up in this kind of a mess i have really failed as a mother and that is just the honest truth how did i trust you were okay am i that stupid and naive are you that good of a liar why bella why have what have i done to deserve this i'm so freaked out how are you going to survive in new york why am i even working my ass off to get you in a beautiful apartment if you cannot even keep your car clean? Is that how you are going to trash your home? If your car looks the way you feel about yourself, you really need professional help.

I thought that together we were going to something something because you put blind gossip all over it so I can't read it. Blind gossip. Fucking idiots. Blah, blah, blah. I'm not sure if I have the tools anymore to help you unless you're really understanding what this has come to. I need answers and explanations. Answers and explanations, Bella. I can't read this part.

Goddamn blind gossip. I have to say, I don't think it's the worst thing. I have to say. Oh, that's only half. It keeps going on and on and on. And it is just a mother um out of her mind pissed yeah of course like no mother's happy when their kid gets a dui but you know then she turns around and she minimizes it on the show like well she had a glass of wine

at a friend's house at a party in the summer she just went to the gas station okay that's bullshit i didn't like that that that i didn't like the way she tried to normalize it um it's not that's not cool i actually have like a real real beef with duis and and drunk driving i think it's like a terrible terrible thing and i think that people um i don't think people treat it seriously anymore i i think it's because it's so commonplace with celebrities that it's like, oh, so-and-so got their DUI. It's like it should be like something that is taboo. It should be something where it is like it is up there with saying something racist. I really believe that because you actually are imperiling people, innocent people, with your selfish thoughtlessness.

And it's – people die. People – innocent people die because people, with your selfish thoughtlessness. And people die. Innocent people die because of this. And families are ruined. And lives are shattered. And if you drink and drive, you should be ashamed of yourself to a certain degree. And I'm saying this because I just feel like the stigma that's against drunk driving isn't as strong as it used to be like in the 80s. I just feel like it's just – it's becoming a punchline almost. And so I do think that Bella deserves some yelling at.

I don't know if I would say something like, you need to get help like that. I wouldn't like belittle her. I would say your punishment is that i'm sticking you in rehab even if you don't think you need rehab that's like that's what you're i don't know i don't know anything about parenting don't listen to me but the point is this i i think uh like bella should be yelled at for sure yeah i mean i think so too but i mean i don't think it's really looked down on it's insanely if you get a dui i mean i think so too but i mean i don't think it's really looked down on it's insanely if you get a dui i mean you're pretty fucked you are fucked i mean yeah i mean you uh like

you i mean the state makes it hard your life is is it sucks you don't you can't drive for a year you pay thousands of dollars you have to go to actually like a a i think every week you have to go to meetings it's like a whole you are it is a it's a big expensive inconvenience that is absolutely for sure but i just feel like still people do it and they know and they know better and i think one of the reasons why they do it i don't know i just don't think i don't know i i just think that well for a kid i mean she's 17 right so, I mean, she's 17, right? So Bella, like, we all make mistakes. Lord knows I've driven drunk before. I'm not going to sit here and pretend.

Yeah, I'm not going to say that. Exactly. But, you know, something with Yolanda specifically, you know, just two weeks ago she was telling her kids she didn't even have to go to college because she was pretty enough to be a model. And then when she's saying her kid, you know, she was just drinking at a bar. She was just at a friend's house like you do in the summer on the beach drinking like every teenager. No, actually, I don't think that every parent just lets their kids drink when they're 17. Do they? Mine sure as hell didn't.

I agree that Yolanda's response on the show should have been it should have it should not have been that tone it should not have been this like well it's almost like an awful misunderstanding it should have been like I'm mortified, I'm furious at her and we're going to take care of this

you know Caroline Manzo imagine what her response would have been like oh man she would have she would have beaten her children to a pulp. Yeah, she would have slapped them around and been like, okay, I just put a deposit in your bank account. She may have yelled more, but I don't think she would have. Well, I don't think her kids, the truth is, I don't think her kids would have gotten a DUI.

Like, knock on wood, let's hope they don't ever because you know what say what we always you know we talk a lot of shit about the manzos but she's actually raised two good kids even if they haven't gotten their careers together or anything like that i think she has instilled this she doesn't she doesn't spoil them necessarily the same way as like yolanda's like well you know you don't have to go to college although she did actually say that specifically to her kids i love that you said she's raised two good kids you're just completely leaving lauren out in the cold you're like well the fat one you know there's a fat one but the other two guys i mean wait you don't know which one i'm talking about oh come on of course i do of course i do cafes no i mean although it is funny because caroline did say like well they don't

they don't have to go to college if they don't want to they can start a car wash but you know what i'm saying there's something a little different than i don't know i on the one hand i i what i like about yolanda is that i feel like she treats her daughters like they are adults which i think is cool and she trusts them and bella should not have abused that trust because i think that's a really nice thing like you know my parents trusted me that i never had a curfew you know i think it's a really great thing and when a parent can trust their child but on the other hand she uh she but on the other hand she's yolanda she is yolanda i am i'm sorry i'm monologuing i'm sorry listeners no it's okay you're like here's

what i think about drunk driving kids i know you're hearing way too much of my voice i'm sorry no no not at all i mean i get it i just i don't know i just need more to happen on beverly hills i'm really not loving it although we did see more of eileen yesterday still not doing anything and i think so entertaining i think i think what's what i'm really starting to love about her is that she doesn't even care i mean she's on this show but she just seems to be like i'm not gonna make anything up for you follow me around if you want to like sit here and watch me chewing gum in a chair being annoyed at some 20 year old actress trying to kiss my ass like and i'll just sit here visibly annoyed chomping

my gum you know yeah i think that that's actually why i'm beginning to like her and i don't know that she'll ever do anything i think that most of her story is gonna be her telling her husband to shut the fuck up and then just like giving people dirty looks and i'm totally okay with that she is i think she is great um i i love i love she's funny and i think she's sort of dismissive of people i nearly fell off my couch when she said that she raised um her sister's daughter i was like this is soap dish this is so it's happening it's it's her daughter you know it's her daughter and she's gonna go on the soap and take over that was pretty amazing i saw that you left that comment on Facebook.

And I was like, holy shit. How could I not have picked that up? That's my favorite movie ever. Soap Dish. Yeah. Basically, she's Aunt Celeste. And the niece is Laurie Craven. But I agree.

I love it. And you know what? She has great delivery. Comic delivery. Because she always makes a comment. And then she pauses a long delivery. She always makes a comment, and then she pauses a long time, and then makes a little witticism or whatever. You know?

So yesterday I just had to sit in the kitchen for three hours. Tough me. Something like that. Well, I raped a priest. That wasn't my best moment yeah yeah i'm liking her um who else lisa rena didn't do much lisa vander pump we covered kyle uh kim uh yolanda brandy had vivica fox on her podcast okay moving on yeah so that we're done

with that show, right? All right, let's move on to... Why don't we move on... Do you want to go to Atlanta or Vanderpump Rules? Let us go on to Atlanta. All right. I actually didn't write any notes on Atlanta because I think I was drunk. Okay, I wrote,

Why be so nasty and so rude? NeNe. Why be so nasty and so rude when you can be so blah, blah, blah? And then, like, the first scene is NeNe being like, I'm not friends with you, Cynthia. I never would have done that to you, Cynthia. What's going on? You got it on the editors.

That was so funny. I that was great well i guess so cynthia nini kind of kind of made up for a moment oh no nini's done with her now she's gonna just be done with her you don't get a second listen not just not just because nini's so great no you only get one chance with people in general in general you don't get to just do that i mean i think cynthia is completely and a hundred percent totally in the wrong on this and i am not a nini fan but you just decide you're going to be mad and cynthia even admitted it this episode she's like well you know you you call peter a bitch and she's like yeah but i apologize like yeah but then you know everybody's on twitter like oh you're just following nini around carrying

nini's water doing whatever nini wants you to do and i guess that i just was gonna stand up for myself like you don't get to suddenly be righteously angry because people on twitter told you to be you fucking a moron she never even called nini you know or did anything she just started talking about her in interviews i mean what a fucking moron cynthia is seriously stupid i know no i mean it's hard to say we had this whole discussion last we had this whole discussion last week um i don't think it's as black and white as that i i get what you're saying and i think you're right but i also feel like nini probably wasn't a terrible friend to cynthia regardless of this whole bitch comment like she probably was terrible, and Cynthia was kind of like, gosh, this is just not worth it.

I think it's a combination of a few things. I think there probably was a motivation. Yeah, but then she should have been like, NeNe, I feel like you're not being a good friend, blah, blah, blah, and then have NeNe tell her off and stop being her friend. I mean, that's a vibe. She should have, but not everyone has the presence of mind to be like that.

Unfortunately, there are weak people, and Cynthia has never proven to be anything but weak. And there are weak people who just sort of, like, they, the way they get themselves out of, like, a friendship or whatever is they sort of handle it passive-aggressively and wait for that moment when they can hang, they can sort of blame the other person. It's much easier to wait for something like Nini calling Peter a bitch and say, aha, I don't want to be friends with you than to actually sit down and be like, listen, this friendship's not working out. That's a hard thing to do. If this whole thing had happened when Nini did call Peter

a bitch and whatever and Cynthia said, you know what, you're disrespectful. You've been disrespectful for a long time. We should just take a break. That's one thing. being like i forgive you and then not and then like going in the press and like doing all these interviews that's just lame that's that's beyond i mean i forget the i mean that's just being a an ass i also forget the chronology of who wants the press first and i don't even care to look it up i think honestly with the peter bitch thing peter was a bitch and he is acting like a bitch and he's still trying to fight with nini like a bitch he was and is for sure but that's for us to say as spectators

from the internet like not for a friend necessarily to to do that well but i don't think i think that if you if you had a you know a girl i don't know i don't know what would be a good a good way but i think that if you had a boyfriend and we were fighting you and i and the boyfriend got in it and on it i'd be like why is your boyfriend fighting he's not a part of this he's like he's not a part of our group i think that's all nini was saying he's acting like a woman and he was acting like a woman. He was. Although the truth is what Nini called him a bitch about, he was really not being that bad.

We've seen Peter really being a bitch. We've seen it a million times. And what he confronted Nini about, which was about the charity, and he's telling her basically like, hey, calm down. Don't act like you're acting. And she's like, you're a bitch. In that case, he actually wasn't being a bitch in that moment. He really wasn't. Well, she was saying you're fighting like a bitch. Like, you're coming into this group and fighting like you're one of the bitches.

Yeah, but at that moment, the moment when they were having that fight is because she was being really cold and hostile at Kenya's passive-aggressive charity thing, which was a hilarious thing from last season. And Peter was kind of like, was kind of like what the hell this is charity like he shouldn't it's one of those things where actually i'm not even gonna say he shouldn't have stepped in because i'm actually going to stand up for peter which is shocking and say he probably thought we're all friends and i'm like looking out for you and being like hey don't act like that like come on like like turn that it's essentially saying turn that frown upside down but not like that but basically saying like come on get over – it's essentially saying turn that frown upside down, but not like that. But basically saying, like, come on, get over yourself. It's for charity.

Just stop acting like this. And she's like, you're a bitch. There have been a million times when Peter's been a bitch. I don't think that was one of them. Yeah, but then if they had gotten together and Peter said, I didn't like you calling me a bitch. And she said, well, I don't like you getting involved in women's business. And he said i don't like you you know acting like that at a charity event i think it's rude then let's not be friends okay i understand that i get but just saying everything my my thing isn't about the fact that he was called a bitch first of all he is a bitch and i guess you have you would have

a right to be offended about it my problem is that you're just holding on to this argument like months later right well i'm using it as an excuse to break up a friendship instead of having a conversation about it and you're doing that because your husband wants to and then you say you you're you're making up with someone your husband's like i don't want you to do that babe that's ridiculous babe why are you doing that this i don't want her in my house that's disgusting but he's acting well i mean he's i mean peter we're not i'm not i'm not even getting peter's awful he is a bitch yes bitch. Peter's awful. He is a bitch. And Nini's awful.

I'm not going to stand up for Nini either. But here's the thing, and I'm going to play semi-devil's advocate here, which is that I think what Cynthia's saying is that it's not like, oh, you called Peter a bitch and it's over. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think that's what she was

saying. She even said that it's not really about the bitch thing, but that was the camel, the straw that broke the camel's back. You know, I think that's what she was saying. She even said that, like, it's not really about the bitch thing, but that was the camel, the straw that broke the camel's back. And, you know, sometimes, even though you can apologize, as Lauren Conrad once famously said, like, I want to forgive you and I want to forget you. Like, sure, I will forgive you, but it's kind of like damage has been done and you can't just automatically go back to where it's been. And that sounds like that's what happened in this case.

So, yes, she may have apologized, and, yeah, everything's forgiven, but it's not that – things are different now. They're just different, and it just continued to go downhill. Yes. Listen, Nene's a bitch and cynthia is weak and peter's and peter's a bitch too and the three of them together and greg's an idiot and the four of them together have created a mess for themselves and that's it yeah they're pretty stupid all four of them are pretty stupid at least greg is hilarious greg makes me laugh every episode this one was hilarious well first he's looking just tired.

I think he's probably been, Nini's just putting more and more in her purse because he's getting tired from carrying it or something. Because that guy is just basically staring off into space at this point without a thought in his head until Nini makes him speak. But I love that he's like, well, be careful now. It's about to blow up. It's like, what you mean, Greg?

Just kidding. Like the coffee machine. I think that guy's so funny. With his stupid toilet coffee mug. Yeah. So annoying. See, that's what I like actually Nini the most, one of those random domestic moments.

Yeah. I like Greg. I think he's so funny. I don't like him at all. like actually need the most one of those random like domestic moments yeah that's what i like greg i think he's so funny i i don't like him now why we got to fight brother we need a greg moment like that where he just goes off those are my favorite greg moments okay so that was cynthia and na na phedra is um i don't know why i was noticing the credit so much this week but phedra's is basically one of those selfies that you take with the camera in space like a space selfie which we've discussed on the show and i don't know why she's doing that yeah i am my favorite part about about uh phedra is that now she's taking the saying fix it jesus it's like she did it last

week and i forgot to mention it when she's just like fix it jesus it's just like i think i want to like work that into my repertoire i was like fix it jesus yeah phaedra is getting a lot of phaedra's saying so many little sayings she's kind of turning into quad with like her her um nonsensical sayings like derrick j is getting sued for stealing weaves or something and she's like oh gosh this isn't the scene of the crime this is the weave of the crime that does not even make any sense i was still laughing though i couldn't help it that was pretty hilarious so he's getting sued for wigs for weaves you know um what's really funny I'm trying to pull up a post on our Facebook page facebook.com forward slash watch what crap happens someone posted a picture of

this um which was that Derek uh Derek J when he came in in to see Phaedra about this lawsuit that he stole someone's like nice weave they showed a close up of his foot and his stiletto and like that foot barely could fit in there it was like over flowing and it's not like a reference to

like him being fat or anything it's just that he can't fit in those shoes oh here it is it was Kristen Fike she posted derrick just shoving his feet in those shoes and you can see it like his toes are about to fall out i don't know how this man he's like he needs to like get his feet bound up like 1942 china this is he cannot fit like i know he i know it's his thing to wear heels but he cannot fit in those things he gotta he gotta change up his look honey don't put it past him god i just i'm reading i'm looking over comments on our facebook did you know that lisa renna is getting 450 000 and uh

eileen davidson is getting 750 000 for this episode over the season for the season no one gets paid that per episode breaking news uh which is that sony has made it official that it has scrapped release plans for the interview it is not even it's not even going to be released now it's done it's not crazy so when you hear when you hear our bonus episode and you hear us talking about the future of this movie, our bonus episode is already out of date. It hasn't even been posted. No kidding. What the hell?

The terrorists won. Congratulations. Jerks. Here's the official statement. In light of the decision by the majority of our exhibitors not to show the film The Interview, we have decided not to move forward with the planned Decembercember 25th theatrical release we respect and understand our partner's decision and of course completely share their paramount interest in the safety of employees and theater goers oof i wonder what the budget was like on that movie i don't know but like i said

in the bonus episode i just i i thought it was a pretty risky move to to greenlight a comedy about assassinating a current world leader i think because i think if it were done to america i think people have been really furious and i like you know on the one hand i sort of i love a ballsy move by a studio but on the other hand sometimes it comes back to bite you yeah so okay we'll screw those guys um so anyway back to atlanta um i was trying to come up with a good segue but i couldn't come up with one yeah um how about north korea watches some of our housewives shows let's see how they feel about that yeah i'm not like oh wait never mind american culture is terrible you show that movie no one's gonna watch it yeah i don't know i i'm not gonna say that doing something about

assassinating a current world leader is a good idea i will say that that guy's a total prick and he slaughtered like a whole wedding party full of people in his first month in office and he can kiss my ass. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not saying, I'm just saying, you know,

I might've like, I just, I might have, uh, I might not have gone forward with a, I would have maybe requested, maybe make it a fictional country or something or, you know?

Yeah. Well, it was probably a stupid movie anyway, so bye. So now everybody goes to see Into the Woods. Maybe they'll make more musicals. Yay! But what if the woods take place in North Korea? Hackers. Yeah, Kim Jong-il is the Wicked Witch.

Oh my god, what a whimsical portrayal. Spoiler alert. She dies. No. Now they won't get to see that movie either. No twist. What about The Hobbit? What about The Hobbit? No.

Kim Jong-il is the dragon. No. Hobbit's canceled. All right. Let's get back with this. You know, we still have two more shows. We've already been doing this damn podcast an hour. We are, like, so chatty today we are ridiculous we our bonus episode was long this is

gonna go long it's just one of those days well why don't we keep talking then okay so i don't know if it's because we're right next to the holiday we're coming right up on the holidays or what but we are all over the damn place today we are a mess okay so ups came a damn game what do they want now this time when ups came um i was expecting it was going to be this i um i had taken all my spare change i had in a jar taken it to a coin star and um gotten myself an amazon gift certificate earlier this week and so i used it to buy myself some board games because i'm now like obsessed with board games so i thought this was them but uh instead it's a birthday gift a belated birthday gift from my mom and you know what she sent me and the only reason why i'm

sharing this is because it's it refers to earlier about top chef she sent me depends depends no she sent me the cookbook my new orleans by john besh wow many times so i'm like a i'm super excited it's supposed to be an excellent cookbook and, it pertains to what we were just talking about, which is like my New Orleans culinary awakening. Thanks, Mom. Well, there you go. Just put some flour in it. That's how I cook as a New Orleans person.

I'm like, just put flour in it. They put flour in everything. My mom also sent me the Santador book, too, so it was really nice of Mom. Guess what my mom sent me? Guilt. book too so it's really nice of mom guess what my mom saying to me guilt meatballs and pain okay that's what i'm that's what i'm getting for christmas okay let's talk let's go back to real housewives of atlanta so before the ups guy dared to deliver a heartwarming gift from your mother yeah we were about to talk about candy and todd okay oh yeah candy candy

little candy they go to the bronx candy is completely grossed out by new york which i thought was hilarious yeah she's like see now riley wouldn't like these orders See, now the Bronx is all dirty. So they go to the Bronx to meet Mama. What's her name? Todd's mom. Sharon. Sharon. Oh, my goodness gracious.

So since we've last seen this yet, she has seen the episodes from last year. So last year when she was fighting with mama Joyce and all that good stuff, she had not seen the episodes. She didn't know that mama Joyce was calling her a pimp and a hoe, right? This is all new information for her as far as the show is concerned. Yeah.

So she is pissed and drunk because she's been sitting at that like uh that seafood restaurant for a while and by the way i want to go to that restaurant next time she is a pissed so she just basically tells off candy and gets herself so damn worked up that she has to leave the table yeah but here's the thing you I'm like glad. You know why? Because the poor woman. Your mama called me a hoe. I ain't no hoe. Oh, you want to say that to my face? I dare her to say it to my face.

Oh, she don't say that to my face. So I'll punch your ass out. I'll punch your ass damn, damn on the ground. Me a hoe. Your mama. Your mama said it. That's why I'm mad. Oh, I'm mad now.

I'm mad now. Here's why I'm glad Sharon got this moment. And I know Candy didn't like it, but I'm glad. Because you know what? This poor woman, I don't know what her life story is, but I get the sense she lived a hard life. And here she is, the last year in her life, this crazy old bat goes on TV and says she was a prostitute who was married to a pimp and worked the streets and was all sorts of terrible things. worked the streets and was all sorts of terrible things this crazy old bat mama joyce totally besmirches this lady's reputation on national tv and uh this this is how this woman died just like a week ago this is how she died with this crazy old bat saying these nasty things about her so

good for her good for sharon from beyond the grave getting to tell mama joyce i want to punch her in the face like i'm glad she wasn't polite punch her in the face like i'm glad she wasn't polite and like took the high road i'm glad she got to say those things about mama joyce that time someone did yeah it's about and and candy's whole response she's like well i can't what we was doing was that like my mom was just so candy is no help. But I just don't like that now that Todd's married, he's so A-type on every little thing. He's like trying to be the little boss man, and it's so funny. Like marching all around. And this is on every little thing.

You know, he's like, you know, it's like, honey, I shrunk the kids. Like, I feel like. Honey, honey, I shrunk the kids like i feel like honey honey i shrunk the tods you can do whatever you want i just want to say this is what i'm trying to say candy this is all he has this like high pitch like he does i listened to it better this week because you pointed it out and He does do that. He's like, Candy. I'm going to show you the real Bronx now, Candy.

We want everybody to know that you're street, Candy. You're part of the hood now, so give her a hot dog so she'll feel part of the hood. Stop whining. Jesus. Yeah. stop whining jesus yeah i listen i'm not saying that miss sharon is an angel because i'm sure she has some skeletons in her closet but uh you know i just think like i love what she said call me a hoe yeah i know hoe you can check my resume like uh i don't think that people put hoe on their resume okay i don't think't think there are plenty of ho's

in human resources now who fail to mention that on their resume yeah I don't think it's you better look me up on the better business bureau candy I'm like I don't think that's going to be predictive text when you sign up on LinkedIn

were you recently I don't think it's... I don't think that's going to be part of it. That's some funny shit. Like, you have been endorsed in prostitution. Candy Burris has endorsed you in working the streets ho oh linkedin linked up

she was drunk yeah she's been long gone she was i loved it god bless her heart um so what else she'll have mama joyce to punch in the face soon how long can mama joyce last she looks mean as hell of course mean people i think live a long time right oh they sure do they sure do okay so let's see what else here derrick j court case greg's shirt um kenya did kenya do anything this week i'm sure she did kenya tried to make us believe that she's carefree and fun and just laughed the whole time. And she loved her food and had food orgasms because she's a foodie. Meanwhile, this bitch is the one who made a frozen dinner in a pan for a made-up boyfriend. Yeah.

Like, on her first episode so whatever foodie yeah whatever foodie foodie fraudy she's a fraudy oh what about cynthia going to new york and that evil fashion designing designer calling her fat god what the hell see i like see this is weird girl summer had a sandwich girl you've, you've been eating. Look at that effer. Ty, wasn't he using, like, Tide or something like that? See, I like that guy because he, sure, he is, like, definitely, like, sassy and nasty. But I feel like he's also, like, very smart.

And I, like, will always appreciate it if it's coming from a smart place. But if it's coming from a vapid place um then i i can never appreciate it but that guy i like like that guy if you put that guy on to fashion queens i'd be like okay i'm down with that you know because he's he seems bright he's not like you know like miss lawrence you know putting on lipstick and being like oh she give me what she give me that... That was a terrible impersonation. Terrible, terrible. But you know what I'm saying? That was my attempt to read.

I just find Cynthia to be so not self-aware at all. You know, like when she's saying, well, in Atlanta, if you look at me, if you look at my body and you look at Atlanta, I'm considered thin. But, you know, here, I'm not.. But, you know, here I'm not. I'm like, Cynthia, you're not considered thin in Atlanta either. Okay.

You don't need to be like you've already. I'm not saying you need to be. I'm not saying to lose weight. You're beautiful. And you're an ex model. Like, enjoy that money. Go to dinner. You earned it.

But please, you're not skinny in Atlanta either. I don't know. Maybe it's just Atlanta doesn't have people who are telling you to your face. But bitch, please. Yeah. I will say, God, her ex-husband, Leon. This is named Leon, right? He is so hot.

He was looking great at that runway. Oh, yeah. That guy's so hot. And she looks beautiful, too, Cynthia. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a given. She's always beautiful, even with her big booty. She just needs to be quiet.

Okay. Yeah, she. I mean, it's a beautiful lady. She's always beautiful, even with her big booty. She just needs to be quiet. Okay. Yeah, she needs to rebrand herself. So do you have anything else for Real Housewives of Atlanta? No, my Atlanta part of the brain has shut down. Well, I would try losing some weight before you come back here next time. New York doesn't put up with that shit, man. I will. All of you do that.

We are going to end this podcast now. And we are going to have a second episode this week. And we are not being greedy and trying to get more of your subscriber dollars. We're doing it because we are going to be off next week. So we're doing a huge double episode week this week. The next episode, the second episode will be coming out friday afternoon so come back for that and we still have our bonus episode and we'll yeah we'll still have a bonus episode for that as well and again please go on to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends um to

donate become a subscriber and find out when all these special events and extra podcasts and all that good stuff are and uh we will see you guys tomorrow or tonight, depending on when you're listening to this, Thursday the 18th at what time, Ben? 7? 6? It's at 7 p.m. Our Christmas hangout party is at 7 p.m. Pacific. So it's 10 p.m. if you're on the East Coast. We are going to have some fun time. So please come to that.

It will be fun time subscribers and thank you everybody for being so great and if you don't listen to the second episode we love you and we'll talk to you uh for new years yeah next episode is bander pump rules and euros of hollywood and whatever else whatever other crazy tangent might come across our paths yeah and so we'll do that right now and we will talk to you guys later. Love yous. Bye. Bye, everybody. If you like listening to comedy,

try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years.

One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you.

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