Watch What Crappens - #158: Seriously? Who Does That? UGHGHG

Episode Date: December 18, 2014

It?s part two of a massive holiday two part spectacular! In this hour, Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) tackle Vanderpump Rules and Euros of Hollywood. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. So maybe you've got a great idea for a business and want to start selling your products or services online. Maybe you're an established business owner looking for new customers. Or maybe you're interested in starting a new personal website. No matter who you are, GoDaddy wants to help you succeed online.

Right now, GoDaddy is offering a.com domain for just $149, people. $149, okay? Not $149. people. $149, okay? Not $149. $1.49. Go to GoDaddy.com and enter promo code WWC149. That is WWC149 to get your $1.49.com. Some limitations apply. See website for details.

Okay, thank you. Bye, guys. Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey, welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and I'm here with Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog. Hello. What up, what up, what up? So, just our quick little plugs.

You've probably got them memorized by now, but go to watchwhatcrappens.com to find out all of our social media links. I'm at Trash Talk TV. I'm writing real housewives of beverly recaps or beverly hills recaps all season ben's at b-side blog.com subscribe to our extra benefits by going to patreon.com p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash watch what crappens you can um become a paid subscriber which will give you access to bonus episodes and Google hangout parties. And what else? Ring tones and all sorts of fun new stuff that we are trying out.

So this podcast will always remain free, but if you just want a little bit more, go to patreon.com slash watch what crap. And it's also come to our Facebook page, facebook.com slash watch what crap ends to talk with other listeners and us about all the shows during the week. We have show threads up every night that there are shows that we talk about on. And we just have a great old time over there. I've been reading comments through there all day.

We are actually recording two episodes today. This is number two of two because we're doing a giant day-to-day because we'll be off next week. So this is part two in part one and are you recording this ronnie or am i supposed to be recording this i'm recording it oh cute very professional podcast wait a second i actually looked again i was like oh shit don't make me do that whole spiel again so uh yeah so that's that so So come listen. I'm going to say so 20 times. Yeah. Come to those places to play with us.

Part one was Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And Top Chef. And a little Top Chef even today. So yeah. A lot of Top Chef. If you missed that one, then that is the previous episode. Go back one. Okay.

Okay. So everybody and their money, their mothers. Everybody and their money their mothers everybody in their mothers we're gonna talk about some vanderpump rules okay let's do a little vanderpumpy do you're good about that i sure do because let me look for my notes though oh i wrote so many notes on this episode i like i decided i pulled out my laptop i wrote notes as if I was recapping the show. I have analyzed it. I have gone through it. And it was, you know, another classic.

All I wrote was, ugh, run. I presume I was talking to Tom. And Katie mad that Tom let Stassi kick him out. Like, it's Tom's fault. Like, I can't believe he would do that okay so i'm glad you took notes because i did not so please proceed okay well i i believe that the show opened we'll just go through the show chronologically because i wrote so many notes that we can actually do that with this this week um i believe it opened up in stassi's apartment

and katie is there with stassi and katrina and or kareem whether you know that girl christina christina the one that wants to be the bad girl a mean girl and they're like you know talking about like i just can't believe i do this anyway ding dong tom schwartz walks in with like flowers because he's such like a fucker he really is such a fucker and he's like how i just brought flowers over or whatever and why is he going to stassi's house first of all what was he doing i don't know but i love that how like stassi like starts to berate him and she's like who makes out with people like who does that oh you brought flowers like guilty flowers if we're making out with somebody who does that who makes out with people oh you're disgusting and then katrina or i mean christina tries to pile on she goes

who cheats on such an amazing person like katie who does that who does that who do these who are these girls and who tells off someone else's boyfriend like that that's the craziest thing i've ever seen who tells off someone's boyfriend like who does that oh you're disgusting i mean when i used to work it sir i mean like i didn't even realize how immature we all were and now like looking at you guys from the outside it's like it makes me feel sad because you guys are disgusting it's like the worst like who works there who even does that like i wish are you children because children have jobs that require no skill and no talent like that that's what children do have you ever heard of child labor because that's what it's like there now basically children running around

with martini shakers it's disgusting i wish saucy where the was the person behind the sony hack because i can imagine like being working at sony know, the thing comes up on your screen, but, like, who works at Sony? Like, who does that? Like, who calls Angelina Jolie a spoiled brat? Like, who would ever, who would ever say that about a talented actress? Who does that? Who makes movies about North Korea? Like,

aren't you, don't you know there'll be repercussions? Like, who does that? Oh my god, she should be played by Christina from Serial. Did you cheat on the girlfriend or didn't you cheat on her?

How could you come here and say that? Who does that? You, like, lied, and then you told one story, and then another story. Like, who does that? So, yeah, Stassi was telling him off,

and he's like, well, you know, babe, and he's, like, trying to rub Katie's shoulder, but now Katie is emboldened because when Katie's with him alone, she's like, well, you know, it's just hurt my feelings and I would appreciate it. And he's like, okay, babe, I love you. And they're like, I love you. But then when Stassi's around, she's like, yeah, why would you do that? And why would you look at me? And then why would you the way that you did that and why are you touching me like that and what's going on and i mean what's going on with the what and why are you wetting me and what's the what and then the best is that like tom just sort of like rumbles up and he's like i'm just my nerves are shot i've been through a lot like say what you say none of your fucking business you fucking vulture bitches go get your own lives for christ's sake but like if you're okay first of all say what you will you're the one who cheated you don't get to say that your nerves are shot and that you've been through a lot ever he made out with somebody i know no i i agree but you still don't get to say that you do not you lose the right to say that and

also you also lose the right to say that when you walk into the viper's nest this is the viper's nest lion's den whatever it is you go to stassi's apartment where you know she's like sharpening her knives you know you're gonna get yelled at so don't say oh i just have been through a lot well he can't just have stassi like telling him shit you you know how i'm refusing to call her stassi have you noticed that stassi that's it stassi i call her stassi telling him shit. You know how I'm refusing to call her Stassi. Have you noticed that? Stassi. That's it.

Stassi. I call her Stassi. I do not give her an ah. I give her an ah because it makes her sound like the German secret police, which is what she basically is. I say ah because it makes her sound like assy, and that's what I like. Stassi. But yeah, I think he's saying I'm exhausted and have no energy left because he has to walk into this den of dildos and like sit there and like stick up for himself when it's nobody's business. Yeah, but he also like, I mean, he's a schmuck. He did wrong no matter what.

He did wrong. And he walks in with these tulips with this like shit eating grin, like thinking that this will just fix everything. And probably if Katie were alone, it would have. But like he just he this will just fix everything. And probably if Katie were alone, it would have. But, like, he just, he's got to, like, know sometimes you just lay low and let her come back. Like, don't be, like, you just can't, like, come in and, like, flash a boyish grin and hope everything's going to be okay. And the best part is I love that, like, the girls, you know, are, like, going off. Like, how could you? And then they kick him out.

And then as soon as he's kicked out and he's fine he's like whatever i'm leaving because he's like i don't even know if i want you in here like if you're gonna act like that if you're gonna talk to me that way then you should just leave and he's like fine go you're not welcome go just go and then he leaves and then katie's like babes really and she's mad which is like babes what really? She's mad. She's like, babes? What are you doing? Where are you going? Which is, by the way, a classic Vanderpump Rules trope, which is for the girls to get mad at a guy. Like, you just leave.

Just leave. And they leave. And they're like, I can't believe you just left. Why would you do that to me? Why would you, like, not stay up? You just left me there. You should have stood up for yourself. But if he had stood up for himself, she'd be like, why were you fighting with my friend? She's a girl.

Stop acting like a bitch. And then he'd be like, I don't appreciate you calling me a bitch. And then someone else would be like, I don't appreciate you calling him a bitch. And then everyone would be like, who's a bitch? What's a bitch? What does that mean? Then nobody cheated. Who walks out on people?

Really? Who does that? I'm sorry, but if you're going to come over, you don't speak to me that way. Who does that? He does that. That was possibly one of the best things I've seen on TV.

And I actually had to watch that scene two times. But then, the funny thing is, the scene wasn't over because then Stassi sees this as a perfect chance to turn it all against Jax. I love how it suddenly turns into a Jax issue. She's like, this is what happens because I don't know how he can be friends with Jax. It's totally like the stealth campaign to turn everyone against Jax is by trying to get Katie to exert pressure onto Tom to stop being friends with Jax. And admittedly, she's kind of right. Well, Jax is disgusting, but honey, you dated Jax for a long time, and you're worse than he is. said um what she said about how funny it is that jackson and stacy don't talk to each other at all but they're doing the exact same thing by trying to manipulate their friends against each other

and they are they're doing the exact same thing as each other they're both so pathetic and it's like if you hate each other so much and why are you both working this hard to still be a part of each other's lives oh no absolutely does that that's that but you know the thing is that um you know i mean i do i do agree that like at this point tom's been dating katie for a long time and katie should take like priority over jacks and i don't know like if someone um was like talking shit like that about my boyfriend, I would be like, you know what? Like you're a fucked up friend. And that's it.

You just ruined the friendship. Yeah. Like it's not right. It's not right. And it's not OK. Whitney Houston. Sorry. Never be sorry for bringing Whitney into something.

We had that song. It's like I was looking at your receipts, and I saw you ate. You said it was just two of you, but it was like, you said it was six of you, but it was like food enough for two. It's like a very serves type of song, because it all pertains to the bill and checking things and being like, it's not right. Well, I can tell you this much. Whitney Houston had a lot more knowledge than people gave her credit for, and it was Bobby's fault. And that will never change. Who does that? Who, like and it was Bobby's fault. Who does that? Who just dies in a bathtub?

Who does that? If you're going to die in a bathtub then just leave my bathroom because it is not for dying in. Who would be friends with somebody who is friends with somebody who died in a bathtub? That's disgusting.

I can't believe you went to Clive Davis' party. His, like, friend died in a bathtub? Like, how do you be friends with a friend of a bathtub dyer? Like, who does that? You're taking a bath?

Who's friends with a bathtub? They're just big gaping holes that waste water and ruin the earth. Who does that? Get out of my house, bathtub! Who gets into a tub that's not like a hot tub? Who just gets into like a cold tub and then dies in it?

Who does that, Whitney Houston? Oh, Whitney. Poppy's fault. Okay, so what else happened in this episode the next thing that happened i have a lot i have a lot you listen i'll just steer the ship this is great i love it i love it i know so next up we met a new girl named veil who's very renee zellweger ish if you notice she's got like sort of squinty squinty like classic like classic Renee Zellweger. Squinty eyes, that little sort of like puckery mouth, big blonde hair. She apparently used to be on Young and the Restless, which is really sad.

I think she looks like she's drawn by Tim Burton in like The Nightmare Before Christmas, like big kind of hollow eyes, maybe too skinny. Used to be on Young and the Restless. The Tim Burton version. Yeah. Wait wait hold on i love that that's part of the tim burton description hey guys like big yellow eyes big head used to be on young and the restless like oh that's what i think of a lot of those characters like oh look at a sleepy hollow look at ichabod. He looks very post Young and the Restless. Very much so. Edward Scissorhands. I'm getting punchy now.

What was I going to say about that stupid thing? Okay, not only did she used to be on Young and the Restless, she was on Young and the Restless for three seasons. Jesus Christ. She did it wrong. She's doing it wrong because eileen davidson's like okay i'm gonna parlay my young and the restless and days of our lives fame into being a real housewife and it's funny but like this girl veil if she's trying to parlay her soap stardom into

being like a reality star she's messing up because she's actually proline it into being a hostess that happens to be on tv yeah she did it all wrong yeah that's really sad and the paycheck's got to be a lot lower to be on vanderpump rules well i don't know how much you get paid to be on so so because eileen davidson was like well i retired last year but you know i just got sick of being poor i mean i can't live off one income my husband's's income. And I was like, ouch. So I wonder how much they make because Eileen Davidson would probably be at the top of the heap there. She's been doing it forever and she's been lead star roles. God, I'm losing it.

Losing my mind. But anyway, I don't know how much you get paid for soap operas. What do you think? Like $35 a day. Yeah. it's below catering it's below holding a tray at a party who like who goes and is like a soap star like why would you want to like do things with soap that's like like menial labor okay like do something better than soap. Be like a vacuum star. A vacuum star. Who does that?

Be a detergent star, but don't be a soap star. Why don't you be a general purpose, all house cleaner star, and make everybody feel inclusive. Maybe your paycheck will be better. Who does that? Who's young and restless? Like who is like that? Like, why not be like young and like, just calm and like, sweet and restless? Who is like that?

Why not be young and just calm and sleep down? Are you young? Or are you restless? Which is it? Who does that? So anyway, Vail also went to Princeton, which does not speak well for princeton

by the way this is a school that has yielded many world leaders and her name is veil it's either uh it's either a really shallow skiing town or um a tool of oppression used on women in the middle east yeah either way that name's not working out also uh she is definitely uh in trouble because as soon as she got to sir jack's like turned to someone was like i'm gonna sleep with oh he was disgusting he was like rubbing his mouth and looking her up and down and it makes i feel so bad doing his mouth breathing thing i feel bad for women that, because it's like, oh,

this is what women deal with. This predatorial male that decided, okay, I'm just going to fuck. I'm just, I'm truly just going to fuck her. Like it's so, it was actually really so chauvinist and disgusting. Ugh.

He's disgusting. And you know, of course she's like, but he seems so nice. Everybody's warning me not to talk to him. Like you haven't watched all the episodes of this show before you started this stupid job. Give me a break, lady. Yeah.

So then, anyway. I'm still going to let him stick his wick in you. Your candle deserves all the spots it gets on it. Mm-hmm. It's going to be a whole different kind of Princeton Dining Club, if you know what I'm saying. Hey, can I ask you something? Yeah. Why do people inland eat something called spotted dick what the fuck is with spotted dick does that like who does that it's like a diseased penis for a meal england no wonder why we left you as a country god no wonder i can't watch your cooking shows like they're like

oh some cream and sugar and some spotted dick I'm like nope turn the channel okay we will not be talking about the taste again I'm sorry so anyway so then Tom and Katie go out to dinner at Bessel so that way they can smooth things over and of course Katie's already she's like happy she's already put in five years towards this baby making

process every restaurant in LA has stopped filming because there's so many reality shows now that people can only go to mixology or baso basically yeah that's that's basically it so um uh i love that like katie's like you know like like i don't know how you could be friends with jacks it's like you know he says these things that are terrible and like you know i'm not gonna be the girlfriend that says you can't hang out with your friend. But like, I don't know.

I don't know how you can hang out with him. And Tom's response is like, yeah, but like, what if I go go-karting with Jax? Like, what's going to happen then? Like, I'm going to see him. Like, what happens if we go go-karting? Like, it's the inevitability of life. At some point, we're going to wind up. We're going to go go-karting.

And all bets are off, Katie. Like, the bromance is back on. That's the power of the go-kart. I have never been one of these guys. Like, one of the guys on this show. They're all worked out. Really worked out. Healthy.

They're all in relationships well for the most part they um play they go out every day and just have fun and you know what i say you go for it guys if that's what not growing up means then go for it i should have done that because they look like they have a way funner life in me i just I'm imagining Stassi watching Peter Pan. Like, who doesn't grow up? Who won't grow up? Who won't go to school? Who does that, Peter Pan?

He probably couldn't even handle a shift at Sir. Why does he keep flying around Sir? Like, be a waiter and be on the ground. Who does that, Peter Pan? Peter Pan. Yeah. Who only has one hand? Who has, like, a waiter and be on the ground who does that peter pan peter pan yeah who only has one hand who has like a hook for a hand like and then calls themselves hook like that's like so on the nose oh way to be obvi way to be obvi um i agree with the fact that well first of all i think that she's right that if you That if you're dating somebody who's friends with somebody that is openly trying to antagonize your girlfriend and break up your relationship.

Okay, yeah. Under normal circumstances, of course he shouldn't talk to that person or whatever. But that's not how it worked out. They're all best friends. They all met kind of together in this restaurant where they all are you can't suddenly just start kicking out people that you don't like anymore no actually you can jacks has earned the right to be kicked out you know why because he also slept with his other best friend's girlfriend let's not forget that and that like when you're saying like oh but they're all best friends they're best friends almost because they're just too dumb to not be best friends i mean you saw in the beginning of

the season tom's like well yeah like i was really mad at jackson he didn't really talk for three months but then i said something we started talking and now we're just sort of like bros again it's like you know what that's on you you guys are dumb yeah exactly not be bros like we you know like like what you're a bro you're a bro and like bros before hoes bros always goes like bros bros bra bros we're we're totally hetero too bro like we're the most hetero guys here like that i've ever met in my life kristen but it's just like you know what like so they actually both toms should not be friends with jacks they can still be friends with each other they should like stop being friends with them he's a toxic toxic, awful person. Even though he's

a big doofus, oh, he's such a doofus, whatever. He's actually, he really needs to be kicked out of the group. The real reason we're still friends with Jax is because he's got the good coat, Kristen. Yeah, that is probably the reason. But what I liked also is that

so at the end of their date, Katie's like, I think I'm being very fair right now. And then Tom goes, you know what else you're being? Sexy. And she's like, oh. She's like, oh. It's like she's such an idiot. It's like Fifty Shades of Idiots right here.

I really like Tom. I think he's so sweet. He is sweet. Even when he threw a drink at her, I like that. But he think he's so sweet. He is sweet, but he's like... Even when he threw a drink at her, I like that. But he's like an asshole, too. He may be sweet, but he's an asshole, too, just a different kind of one. Logic is being trumped by my total dislike of Horseface No. 2. I just can't with her.

From the minute she came on screen and said, everybody who works at CERN has to be a model and has to be hot. Well, she's the dumbest. I can't with her. So anything that her boyfriend does to cheat on her, hurt her feelings, make her cry, make her gain weight, I'm for. So I think he's doing a great job. I'm all for it, buddy.

You keep it up. Well, anyway. Do magnets heal? Magnets? Yeah, is that true? Oh, I thought you meant if a magnet is injured. I was like, I don't think they can be hurt in the first place. No, like do magnets heal diseases?

Because I've got like a little swallowable piece of magnet for some reason because I was cutting magnets out to put on my fridge. I know that sounds weird, but... Don't. Don't. Should I swallow it? No.

But what if it makes me look super healthy, Chris Dabb? If anything, it will hurt you. Okay. I didn't swallow it. Thanks for saving me. Okay, back to the show. I'm so glad you did not swallow a magnet like a one-year-old.

Okay, so... So anyway, so then we moved into... By the way, Ronnie, our call is at 430 now, by the way. I know that doesn't mean anything to anyone else, but we have a conference call. It's very official. Whatever. Okay, so anyway – This day is as fucked as it's going to get, Ben. There's nothing else you can pile on top of me, all right?

It's super fucked. So anyway, speaking of fucked, we then go to Gay Pride. bin there's nothing else you can pile on top of me all right it's super fucked so anyway speaking of fucked um we then go to gay pride and uh so stassi shows up again dressed like she's going to the like old lady convention i don't know i had no better joke than that so is this the auditions for the view yeah it basically was she's like is this the breakfast at tiffany's audition so um she she walks in to pump with a big part breakfast at tiffany's audrey audrey hotline is like the most classy beautiful woman no i know i know but it's like she's but the thing is that the whole point is that she's i feel like she's actually trying to capture that i think she's going for more of like

mona from who's the boss i think she's going more like when mona was in that movie brazil like kind of like the terry gilliam version of um no so anyway um what i was going to say so okay so stassi comes into pump and she's like uh she's talking to tom and what i thought was funny was that this was like the gay version of the today show because while she's talking to tom all these like gays are like quietly sidling into the back of the shot. They're kind of there and doing these little glimpses into the camera. All that they were missing were posters being like,

Hot Arlene in Kansas. They were all quietly sliding into frame. It was Gates Day Show. That's so funny. Oh, man. It really, i just like i was cracking up the entire time people were like and they're sort of like trying to act like casuals they're just oh no i'm just drinking my like my strawberry chocolate mojito here in the summer i just happen to be here in camera frame as they like those drinks are really so fucking ridiculous

they're like ginger champagne berry ganja juice martini Jesus Christ is there any vodka in this it's like Prosecco moonshine cantaloupe

scallop martini. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, black history month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August, 1992, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow black history for real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad free on Wondery plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold

and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will,

she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Everything is so... If you don't mind, I need to talk to my friend right by this gigantic plant while you're having a scene. I just need to be by this humongous life fixture that doesn't fit in this space. So, while everything was, like, crazy at pump with the gay today show over at sir nothing was happening and no one could be more angry than sheena

she's like great no tips now i can't have a dessert bar at my wedding right i can't believe this would happen i can't believe the gays would conspire against my wedding like this. Bitch, you shouldn't be having a dessert party at a wedding. You're not getting done with it. But I heard the candy bars are out. The last joke on the last wedding night. Now I can't have a Viennese table. I went to a wedding a couple of months ago and there was, you know, like a candy, a candy table, like whatever, whatever you call it, candy buffet or whatever.

And a photo booth and all that, you know, it was nice. And there were sparklers used instead of rice at the end. You know, it was nice. And some lady in line at the candy bar was like i'm so embarrassed to even be at this candy bar and it was like why and she goes i literally just read this morning overused wedding uh like wedding ploys or whatever she's like number one candy bars number two sparklers as rice number three she just number four leaving cameras on the table for your guests to take each other's picture i mean cheers this wedding i put some effort into it

i literally want to take this wedding and put it in a box and send it off to North Korea and then have Sony get hacked because of it. This wedding is so bad. Yeah, I want this wedding, like, I want to get, like, I want it to be like a terrorist wedding and promise someone, like, 40 virgins, line them up, shoot them all in the head, eat them for dinner, poop them out, pick it up with a dog bag, start the dog bag on fire full of poop, and throw it into a post office. All right? That's how I feel about it. Disgusting.

I would rather literally cut my hands off and use my mouth to stuff my hands into a box and use my teeth to put the tape on the box and then gouge out my eyes and use that to seal a stamp on the

box and send it to some random address, then go to this wedding. Who does that? Who has fun things at their wedding? Who does that? If I have to do a chicken dance, I'm kicking the chicken out of the wedding. That's it. Get out of this wedding, chicken.

Don't they know how much I love animals? Like, who does that? I'm so against animal cruelty. Like, who has a chicken dance? Who makes chickens dance at a wedding? Like, who does that? Just go, chickens. Go!

I can't believe that they want to electrocute their guests. Like, who has an electric slide? That is so rude. Oh, my God. Stas. Oh, I said Stassi. Darn it. I went against my own. Stas. Oh, I said Stassie. Darn it. I went against my own rules. Stassie. Assie Stassie.

Um, yeah, I was needing tips because for my wedding we're gonna have a dessert bar and I was looking to make a little money and I'm gonna pay for my dessert bar. Whatever. Thanks a lot for opening another restaurant, Lisa.

I'm so mad because Applebee's said dessert would be thrown in gratis, but now they're not, and now I have to pay for a dessert bar and I don't have the money for it anymore. That's hard. Also, you're going to pay for your whole dessert bar with one night of working at Sir. How much are you

making there, and how do I get a fucking job? Everyone was going to get one M&Mm and that was it my dessert is being my dessert bar is being catered by the azusa baking company makes the finest brownies in the eastern empire inland empire i can't believe i said it wrong. I'm so flustered. Oh, my God, Azusa. So then Stassi, of course, goes from Pump. She walks over to Sir.

And everyone's like, oh, my God. What are you doing here? Oh, my God. And I'm just like, how many times has Stassi walked into Sir? Why do they always act as if she just came back from a nine-year sojourn in Tibet? She was there yesterday, the day before, and you saw her this morning at brunch. Like, why are you shocked that she's there? They're like, guys, look who showed up.

It's Stassi. Wow. It's Stassi. Wow. Wow. At least I think Sheena called her out on it. Sheena was like, and oh, damn it. Wow. Wow. At least, I think Sheena called her out on it. Sheena was like, and oh, damn it.

Like, my dessert bar is in peril, and you guys are still, like, kissing stuff. I think she's so much better than us, and why are you here every day? She was right. Sheena was right she knew was right she'd be right who does that who does that um yeah and stassi who does stassi fight with over there i think we just talked about it no no well she says to veil i think she's she's like oh you're like a new girl well she i think she said something about like stay away from so-and-so whatever and she was like she just like leaves and they're like look whatever. And she was like, whatever. She just, like, leaves. And they're like, look at the way Shina just, like, stomps off.

She's always getting used to that. Shina always goes stomping off. And Vale's like, oh, really? She's like, whatever. I mean, I don't do that with people. So what's Vale's thing? Do you think she's going to be an evil? She is just a one and done.

Like, you know, every season there's some new girl who goes in and gets put through the ringer and they need that so i'm excited for that so um so then we get to something really fun which is still gay pride kristin horse face number one decides to go on a trip down memory lane and she walked up to ariana she's like hey seriously remember last year when i accused you of cheating with tom like isn't that so funny how that was, like, a year ago? And, like, you know, the shoes on, like, the other foot. She's like, I was like, what? She's like, isn't it funny how, like, nothing's really changed? Like, how, like, I've come clean and you haven't.

And I was like, there's nothing to complain about. She's like, but isn't it funny how it was, like, a year ago? Oh, Kristen, that was so embarrassing. I was so embarrassed for poor Kristen. I mean, she's such a nice person. She ever act like that.

She's, I just love, she's like, you're just like so possessive. Like, like it's just like so funny how the, like, if I have to go over to Tom's place,

you would like have to be there to oversee it. isn't that crazy like seriously seriously i just like the way how kristen's trying to paint ariana as the psycho bitch when ariana's just like sitting there you know yeah ariana who doesn't care about anything she's like yeah okay kristen whatever yeah it was just funny how like chris she's so clunky at her manipulations. She's like, all right, like, psycho. Like, seriously? Like, you're the one who's like. Yeah, she's just, poor Christian is so in the wrong on everything that's happened.

And there's no coming back from it. It's like she doesn't, she has nothing that she could ever say that's going to make up for it. She's just going to keep trying to blame the victim the whole time yeah and then meanwhile oh you know what i did forget something that stassi said that was really funny um i think this is this is like right before um like sheena went stomping off stassi was like she looks like two butterflies landed on her lashes and shot a crayon. Which is also correct. That was hilarious. And then when Sheena goes stomping off, Stassi's like,

I only want to boss around cool people, not losers. Who does that? Who's a non-cool person who lets themselves be bossed around? I only want to be cool people. Oh my god god fucking stassi um what else even happened in this episode so everyone's mad now that elisa opened this other restaurant right because there's no business at sir and they're like well why would you do that i don't think gay pride is necessarily packed at sir either

it's just it's on the strip i mean any bar on this trip is going to have more people yeah plus i think everyone knows that gay pride i mean that sir kind of sucks so it makes sense so um so then anyway um kristin uh kristin is continuing to try to trash ariana and in fact i think here's a direct quote from kristin she goes it's like girl get over it you know what i mean which is also hilarious that kristen would say that because ariana by the way has nothing to get over ariana is not not in not like stuck in the past about something but i guess kristen's whole thing is that she thinks that ariana slept with tom when kristen and tom were together and that ariana is not fessing up to it and so kristen's like just like come out with it seriously seriously seriously over it you know what i mean tom was mine one time i knew this dog and he kept stealing

other dogs toys and then um one time that dog got hit by a car and i was like ha ha ha get it stupid dog get it dog stupid get it seriously seriously seriously but it's just funny that like kristen's taken this tactic of like she just has to get over it because she's like trying to sort of imply that she in turn is is actually over it and she's the mature one but the funny thing is that like horse face had to go over to get like her 10th bundle of mail from Tom's apartment. And so she gets all dressed up. And I noticed that she was like all like looking pretty and doing her makeup. And I was like, you're so transparent.

Like don't tell Ariana to get over it when you're the one dressing up like you're about to go to like whatever club just to get mail. And in fact, I'm glad Tom knows that because even tom was like bashing her for it he's like god you're all dressed up god kristin all i want is to be alone kristin just leave me alone all i want to do kristin it's like all i need kristin is just to be alone kristin i mean what the hell what how many times you have to come over for your mail, Kristen? You haven't lived here for six months. Like, you just keep coming over. Like, those dish towels aren't yours, Kristen. Okay?

Do you want the paper towels too? God. So she finally goes over. And, of course, she's like a wreck, as usual. And, again, she starts twisting everything. This is a woman who earlier in the episode was acting like she's over it she's so much happier her life's in such a better place but then she keeps twisting every single thing that tom said that so at one point she's like she's tom says something like you know oh she's like like stop trying to act like you and ariana

like so happy like seriously seriously and tom's like we are happy kristen so happy and then she's like i remember those days we used to be so happy too it's like kristen i felt like i was dying when i was with you kristen i felt like you were suffocating me from the inside i felt like you were inside of my heart and like you grabbed onto it and like you just squeezed on it and farted on it and i was like what smells but i couldn't leave because if i moved a bubble from the fart might give me a heart attack in my heart kristen well remember like because you had my heart so i felt the bubble in my heart seriously seriously you can't just say what i said and twist it around that's not how you argue kristen well actually i remember when we used twist things together and you threw that out so

seriously seriously you threw out our twister game we used to love playing twister like seriously like the only reason why i slept with jacks because he stopped playing twister with me so seriously like my hand was on blue my foot was on red and his dick was in me and i couldn't help it it was twister and you know how much i loved it you didn't strangle her but you like to play twister is that correct or is it a lie cereal cereal cereally did you steal from a mosque? Seriously? Who does that? Who steals from a mosque?

I don't even know what a mosque is. But you stole from it. Whose mosque did you steal? That's so rude. Seriously, I would never go to Russia to steal something. Like, who goes to mosque? Seriously? The mosque was one of the dumbest movies Jim Carrey ever made.

Who does that? I can't believe you stole money from the mosque's final domestic roast. That's just, like, awful. Seriously, Tom? Seriously? Adnan Saeed stole from the mosque that shit's funny sure that shit's funny sure

seriously seriously seriously seriously why didn't you take me to the why did you take Adnan to the lincoln park seriously i thought you said best buy was our place how many times you go to best buy without me seriously i know that like i thought i seriously you have a cell phone why are you using a pay phone

like who does that who uses a pay phone seriously oh my god that shit is funny in my seriously seriously like don't say you were even at the library when did you sleep with anyone when you're at the library i know you did seriously seriously um okay back to what happened on the actual television show vanderpump rules that's all that's it for my notes i finished my vanderpump notes vanderpump Rules. That's all. That's it for my notes. I finished my Vanderpump Rules notes. That was it? That was a lot. Damn it. I was looking forward to more. I know. Well, it was a fun show. You know what? I'm going to take more rules from now on. Look how much fun that was when I can actually

remember things. Yeah, that shit was... I try to take notes. I have a note file on my computer now, so when I'm watching, then I start doing other things. I'm like, I'll totally remember that next time. I don't. But this time, you know what? I'm going like, I'll totally remember that next time. I don't. I don't. But this time, you know what?

I'm going to take more notes because that was fun. But then we also have Euros of Hollywood. Euros of Hollywood. Oh my gosh. So this one was the white party. Why would you tell people I am on drugs? That is so crazy of you. Do you think about what you say to people?

Who would do this to me and say that I am on drugs? This is the craziest thing I've ever had. In all my life, in all my life, no one has ever said I'm on drugs. Why would you think I'm ever on drugs? Now look at my painting of a dead pigeon. Just because I make paintings of pigeons with my uh my diary entries from when i was little girl with hitler on top with mustache merlin monroe doesn't mean i do drugs no my life i never had that feeling

fuck you i'm famous so in this episode All the Euros All the Euros went to Palm Springs For the white party And Massimo Massimo got some corn rosa Look at my corn rosa Oh Massimo Oh he's like So they went there

Yannick went to He rented a house in Palm springs for white party by the way yesterday when i was driving for uber i drove two employees of niyala which is yannick's store oh really because it was raining so i picked them up like literally two blocks away and they're like um we're going to a store called niyala i was like oh i was like um that's on a reality show they're like yeah we know we're employees there i was like, that's on a reality show. They're like, yeah, we know. We're employees there. I was like, oh, that's funny.

I'm the one person who watches. They're like, hee hee hee. I don't think that German people should be allowed to go to white parties. I think at some point we just need to say, you know what um it's time to just step back a little bit maybe i'm just glad that the there was no there weren't any blackouts because then you would have been like we need power we need some white power this party needs white power and by the way a really good way if you're straight and you don't want people to go after your ass is to make sure you don't wear like the white dress code in a super gay way like

sasha's like i don't know this is this is very funny right now like because a lot of people will be going after my ass and like i don't want them to think that so therefore i'm gonna put on this super gay outfit and go to the white party. That's a good way to... The white party. So I think actually the episode opened with Yannick making amends with his girlfriend who's like, you know what you did, right?

You remember what you... Do you even know I am mad at you? Actually, you shouldn't be mad at him because he's your boss and he treats you to nice things, lady. Yeah, that was pretty Like, actually, you shouldn't be mad at him because he's your boss. And he treats you to nice things, lady. Yeah, that was pretty gross. But he basically groveled and got her back. Yeah, he's like, but look, I love you very much.

And here's what I have to say to you. She's like, okay, I forgive you. Palm Springs, yay! You know, it's just what it is. You know, like, I have to do work, but I love you very much. And I want you to be with friends. And so let's go in car and be with group group and be family yeah we go car together and you come into car and we we you know we drive together and you'll be my hot sexy american girlfriend okay

so they all they all hopped in a limo to go to palm springs except for isabelle uh isabella uh because she's like she's like no it's kindergarten well you know what's so funny ronnie i had the accent down pat two hours ago i was like saying to myself in the car i was like ah finally got the isabella i don't feel the need to hang out with the people like that i don't know i don't i don't she's like i don't feel the need to hang out with people like that they're just kindergarten they just like. Like multinational kindergartner. By the way, I'd like to add that there's a billboard for Steve Angelo

right outside my building. So I really feel like the Euros of Hollywood are peering into my life. Oh, bam! Do you like that? I just name dropped the billboard. Well, you know, just when you think you can't put a new spin on that.

It's like, you guys steve angelo billboard is across the street from me um okay so they finally all got on now normally in a reality show i immediately side with the person who's being ganged up on it's i don't think there's ever been um a reality show that i have not sided with a person that's being ganged up on because it's i don't think there's ever been um a reality show that i have not sided with a person that's being ganged up on because it's human nature right yeah i'm not with this bitch i don't know i'm not even a shred of me was i sided with her a little bit i sided with her a little bit you know why because to go back with the history of the feud is that um fanny met with with isabella and then funny um fanny was being a little shady about

leona and um then threw up okay so isabella here's where isabella went wrong she went and told him told leona like like i can't believe she would say this like to question my judgment when i don't think fanny was coming at at isabella that hard i think isabella misinterpreted it but then isabella tells her and tells leona like i mean i don't know like maybe this woman's unstable like i don't know she was sort of speaking in theoretical things leona turns out into she said you're on drugs so now there's a rumor that that isabella says that she's on drugs but isabella never really said that i think why can't isabella just say listen i know that i've pissed you off but basically what happened you showed up in my place you were acting kind of crazy you were in the

bathroom barfing and i didn't know what was up i thought you were kind of a crazy girl i don't really know you i brought it up at lunch and gossiped with it about leona but that's it i didn't say you were on drugs or anything else i was just kind of gossip like having girl gossip i didn't mean to hurt your feelings but instead she's like no i said you on drugs because it's true no i mean well they all need to say that they all they all need to realize that things have gotten lost in translation literally but the thing is that the drugs accusation is actually such a um a bastardization of what she said because she just said i think at most was like you know maybe she needs to be medicated or maybe so but leona turns it into she was on drugs so i think that

what isabella is is like when people are saying i said that fanny was on drugs and unstable like i think that isabella is so confused because it's it's a little bit too far from what she said that she's like no that's just a blatant lie so i'm not going to apologize for a blatant lie so she's not even realizing that all she has to do is say no no no this is getting lost translation but they're all being immature they're all totally immature about it so they can't even see where what the feud is about anymore and they just keep exacerbating it yeah well they're making they're making each other crazy and they're making me a little crazy yeah i know because now the show has basically turned into this like like this ongoing thing of like listen we're all just going to sit down and we're just gonna speak very calmly i don't

want any more of the yelling that we had last time because we're all adults and we're all you're all meant to support each other so let's just be very calm okay so isabella i don't like what you're saying about me. I don't like it. I was like, fuck you. You're my life. I never had that. I almost choked on my spit. I mean, that scene happened about three times this past episode.

Okay, okay. Last night, I'm very sorry. That's no more drinking. We'll just be very calm. We'll just speak. I just felt like when you were speaking, there's been lots of cross talk. And what I just want to say is I hate you and you're saying these awful things. No, I'm not. I hope you die.

I hope you die a horrible death. Yeah, he got a little bit too angry there. And then. Really nasty. When he said, you'll always be number two. You'll always be number two behind your husband. You have no talent and you'll never be as famous as he is yeah that was pretty that was pretty uncool and then the next day the other guy left early he's like i don't like the women to be talked at like that

it's not cool i know meanwhile he was the one who yelled at isabella at his own birthday party again when he was like i just don't want any drama like this is the thing like you know i have to say i don't want any i don't want any drama here so it was just me on birthday i was only mad at her because i wanted her to give me a record deal i didn't you know it was nothing personal but you know this guy he goes off it's personal this is horrible thing against a woman i don't like that i don't like this you know they're all like the world's worst social climbers because isabel is the only one who actually has any access to some sort of like career advancing potential for them.

And they're all yelling at her over and over and over again. Yeah. Well, I was actually shocked at how good Leona was. Were you? You know what? I was loving Leona this episode. I've done a 180 with Leona. I think at the beginning of the season, she was trying too hard to make a splash.

We said this last week. Now she's settling into her thing. I love the way she was bossing people around. It's like she's a woman who is fighting for her spot. She knows what she needs to do. She won't let anyone slack

because this is her career. I'm totally respecting Leona now. I don't care that she showed up naked to the AMAs because I am like I'm bowing down to her a little bit now yeah I like her too I think she's pretty great and then when we see clips of next week where she's crying to that music producer and like

is my if my music's not good enough I'll just go redo it he's like well where did you get money to do all this she's like it's my entire life savings I was like drip I know me too I was like oh drip. I know, me too. I was like, oh. I'm like, all of Albania is shedding a tear.

Yeah, I thought that was so sweet. Yeah, I was like, I was like impressed. I mean, even though I don't, I still don't think her song, Fuck You and Famous, is like the best way to endure yourself to American audiences. The second song she sang sounded okay. Yeah, I mean, I really, I don't know. I don't really care about her music, but I'm not really, well, I guess I'm gay, so I am her target demographic. She's like, gay people like music, so I want the gay people to like me because they like music. A lot of people like music, you crazy you know they're like but no one will celebrate

you like the gay people will that's for sure i thought the only thing that that was noteworthy was the fact that i guess because there was rain it looked like the white party had to be moved indoors so it was like this big gay circuit party with drugs and nudity and sex and i was like in a ballroom of a hotel like a Sheraton. Seems a little strange. Awesome. Okay, what else happened on the Eurus of Hollywood? That was it, right? We found out that Mossimo is like, well, we already knew,

but he's like a big sex pervert and likes fisting and stuff. He's like, I'm going to sneak people in from the sex party. Whatever. My accent. There's too many. There's too many on this show. I'm just mad that my Isabella accent faltered me on podcast. Stage fright.

I still miss Australia. Oh, that's the best one to do. And then what else happened? That's it, right? Are we done with this show? Well, the thing is that like sasha left early and it was just like they all had a point which is that sasha spent so much time and has spent so much time talking about how we're all supposed to be a group you know like we're all a group and we're all a family and like we have to stick together we have to be together

and then like he just pieces out like that's that's annoying like that's a very annoying thing to do yeah i just wish they would just wish they would articulate themselves better. And it's not a language thing. I just wish rather than like jumping for the gun, they should just explain and listen. And Massimo too, by the way. Here's the thing. Massimo is this very sweet guy who seems to understand the whole situation. And he's always like, I just don't want the people to

get together so that way we can, you know, just have a peace, you know? But whenever things get heated, he never stands up and says, everyone calm down, you be quiet, like, let me, you know, he never does that and I don't know why he doesn't. He should. Yeah. He's just passive, you

know? He just wants to be everybody's friend. Yeah. And I i mean what are you gonna get in the middle of these crazy people fighting when you have nothing to say i mean i wouldn't get involved either i'd just let him go out and see which one lives that's how i chose my dog too it's a shame that they're that the show's doing badly and that there'll be no reunion because i would like a reunion on this for sure. You know, it is a shame. Bravo moved it to 12.30 in the morning, which is really a

bad sign. And this week I couldn't even torrent that shit until this morning because no one put it up yesterday. I mean, that's terrible. Like, no one's even putting it up on the torrent sites, okay? That's sad. Bravo needs to support their... Yeah. Sorry. No, no. Bravo needs to support their... Sorry. No, no.

Bravo needs to support their shows more. They need to... They have a prime marketing platform in Watch What Happens, and they need to get their own stars on there. That's what they used to do. Launching a new show is hard, and if you've got a good product, you've got to try to...

Yeah, but that's Andy Cohen, the ultimate star fucker he just wants to fuck yeah you know the big stars it's not his own yeah because he's yeah he you know in their mind they want to have a star that's gonna draw people to watch what happens they don't want to use watch what happens to draw people to the other shows but i think they need you can't be like hi tonight we're going to have Julia Roberts and Fonny from... And yeah, that's exactly what I would watch. I would watch that. But everything is just... Yeah.

This world is not just... Well, you know, don't worry. Because the shows that we love that have not received the appreciation that they deserve on Watch What Happens or Bravo or America at Large. They will have their moment to shine because when we come back from our Christmas break, we are going to have this year's episode of the crappies, the 2014 crappies. And I guarantee shows like Game of Crowns and euros of hollywood and many others will will get the recognition that they deserve oh yes our first show of the new year will be the crappy awards no the crappy awards are going to be on the uh they'll actually be right before the new year oh that's right yeah so our last show of 2014 will be the crappies. Yeah, that's going to go up on New Year's Eve.

Oh, my God, guys. We're doing it. We are doing it, you guys. Guys, this is just a magical thing. So Ben and I have been talking for almost four hours now. We started at noon today, people. It's 3.47. We started at noon.

We talked about certain things. And then we went into the bonus episode. And then we went into the first podcast episode. And then we went into the second one. And Ronnie. And we're not done, by the way. This is fun. This is a lot of talking.

A lot of talking. And it was really fun. And I'm so grateful for you on Christmas, man. You know what? I think we're at the mercy of Miss Bonnie Raitt, who ordered us to give them something to talk about. We gave them something. Well, we've been given something. Bravo gave us something to talk about.

Yeah, Bravo gave us something. Well, everybody, that will sum us up. This is our last regular podcast of 2014. We'll be back with the crappy awards for New Year's, New Year's Eve. Thanks, everybody, so much. You've made this definitely our best year as podcasters, that's for sure, with your support at patreon.com

slash watchwhatcrappins. We really appreciate all your support and allowing this to become kind of a little job for us, you know. And thanks so much, and thanks for being part of our Facebook. You've made us laugh, as usual, for another hour there. That's facebook.com

slash watchwhatcrappens. Find all of our social media links at watchwhatcrappens.com Come read my Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps over at Trash Talk TV every Tuesday night and find Ben in an Uber around town and writing on his blog vsideblog.com.

And feel better Matt Woodfield, who just had surgery yesterday. Oh, what'd he have surgery on? Oh, he actually, remember how he always talked about how he broke his arm once and had all this metal in his arm? Oh, he just finally did that?

He finally got the stuff out. Oh, I was going to guess a tummy tuck because he's been skinny for so long. I figure that he's probably just like he's probably just like put some abs up in there y'all not a tummy tuck but don't you get a tummy tuck after you get all skinny that's what people you get a tummy tuck after you have a baby i think oh sorry matt well feel that feel better matt we love I know you're high on Vicodin or whatever. This is according to your friend who told me this last night at a holiday party.

Ooh, girl. The Matt Woodfield gossip is out on the chat. Oh, hell yeah, boo. Well, you're going to be able to go through so many security points at the airports now. Congratulations. Yeah. Well, apparently he has one screw that's been left in there. So Matt Woodfield's got a screw loose.

Nah. Okay. On that note, I think that terrible joke should be the way we end the regular podcast of 2014. Yay. That's how we end the season. Love you guys. We will be doing – well, we've already done our Google Hangouts. Never mind.

You missed that. Okay. Bye, everybody. Love you. Bye. Bye. Happy holidays. If you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the

folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like reggie watts todd glass liza slicinger slicing driving friends with her for 10 years one of the funniest people out there And I still have a hard time with the last name Liza Our very own Owen Benjamin That's me Takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes And much more

You don't have to wait any longer Just go to youtube.com Slash wait for it comedy There's no need to wait for it anymore Because it's here And it's here. And it's funny. And I love you.

On Monday, Josh Leibarger made his status, Case of the Mondays, followed by a frowny face. It got one like and five comments, including dislike. Well, Josh, Geico also wants to make a comment to turn that emojis frown upside down. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. With all that extra dough, why not give Monday a makeover? We see an office party in your future hosted by you. Hashtag happy face. Hashtag savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save

you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.