Watch What Crappens - #161: The Library Is Open, and Claudia Is Reading

Episode Date: January 14, 2015

Ronnie Karam (Trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker ("The Banter Blender") are joined by Angie Thomas ("All The Way" podcast) to discuss the EPIC reads Claudia Jordan gave Nene Leakes on "The Real Housewives of Atlanta." Then it's off to Miami to bathe ourselves in the glory of "Vanderpump Rules," and finally, we say goodbye to the kiddies on "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." Come listen! You can donate to us at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crap is. Crap is.

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? There's so much that crappens. Oh, I need more of that crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com, and also the Banter Blender podcast. And joining me as usual is Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. Hey, Ronnie, what's going on?

Hello, Ben. Ooh, you sound so sultry. Leftovers from your illness from last week, I presume. Yes, and also my newfound manliness for 2015. I love newfound manliness. It's so great when that happens. Yeah, this year I'm going to be more of a man, guys. By the way, there's no way to sound like you don't have newfound manliness. It's so great when that happens. Yeah, this year I'm going to be more of a man, guys.

By the way, there's no way to sound like you don't have newfound manliness than saying, I love newfound manliness. I love my newfound manliness. Well, guess what? We have some newfound ladiness on the podcast today because we have a special guest. It is my good friend, our good friend, I would like to say, and fellow podcaster. It is Angie Thomas from the All The Way podcast. Hey, Angie.

Hey, guys. You did it. You made it. She's here. I'm here. I'm here. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the podcast.

Angie can be found at All The Way Pod, right, on Twitter. Is that correct? Yes. Yes. Angie can be found at All The Way Pod right on Twitter is that correct yes yes and on SoundCloud All The Way Podcast where we talk about everything we like and hate about food and whatever we like to put in our mouth

it's a really fun podcast and if anyone has an interest in food I really recommend going over to SoundCloud and listening I've been a guest Ronnie's been a guest and you just did an episode with Lisa Timmons who's been a guest here I did it an episode with Lisa Timmons who's been a guest here I did, just last night we ate a huge plate

of slightly burnt fried chicken she was such a really good guinea pig good, well I'm sure it turned out perfectly because you are an excellent chef oh well thank you so anyway everyone go listen to that and then of course if you want to follow us on social media, go to WatchWhatCrapHands.com.

You find links to all of our Twitter, Instagram, Vine, whatever it is, it's up there, YouTube. Really worth following. And, of course, it wouldn't be a podcast if we didn't plug our Patreon page. That's Patreon.com forward slash WatchWhatCrapHands where you can support this podcast. It really means a lot to us. We are up to like $719 or something like that which is really amazing. We're hoping to get to a thousand. And then we'll

get to two episodes a week once we do that. So, you know, subscribe. Oh, Lord help us. Two episodes a week. I know. Can you imagine the nonsense that's going to be going on if that happens? Well, we'll be covering I'm sure thicker than water, Thicker Than Water. Thicker Than Water. Oh, my God.

We'll be like, this week on the Millionaire Match Me. We'll mix it up. We'll put some varsity shows and JV shows to make sure they're good. And, of course, that's just us bantering. A bunch of sluts were lined up and sold by another slut with a weird plastic face. I watched that show for the first time a couple of weeks ago. What the fuck with that show? Which one?

That's basically modern prostitution, and nobody says anything. Millionaire Matchmaker? That Millionaire Matchmaker. I mean, I know I'm a little late to the game, but is that show kidding? I know. Well, I may watch it this week because Heidi and Spencer are on, and I've been nostalgic for the Hills. Wait, they're going to be on Millionaire Matchmaker matchmaker yeah because they're trying to set up stephanie

pratt oh my with a millionaire or what because that bitch ain't a millionaire yeah i don't know what's up it's like the the 35 matchmaker yeah it's like um it's like you know how there's tinder okay and you have to be semi-hot to be on Tinder. And then there's one below it, and then one below it. And then you just get to the ugly app. That's what Millionaire Matchmakers is. That's like the growler. It's making Adult Friend Finder look classy.

Yeah, totally. Ouch. I mean, what's that? That's the thrifty nickel personals. It's, you know, when Stephanie Pratt comes along, you know your show's over. I mean, she was sort of like the turning point on the hills anyway, right? When she started prancing around. Yeah, she was the beginning of the end.

We'll just say that. So if it's a thesis. Yeah, I was just playing fair. Yeah. So anyway, also, if you support us on Patreon, you get access to things like a bonus episode, which we record every week. And it's super fun. We usually just talk about – who knows what we talk about?

We talk about – Nothing, really. Sometimes we talk about crosswalks. Sometimes we talk about food. Sometimes we actually talk about Bravo stuff. We talk about serial podcasts. We actually have a fun time doing that. And then, of course, there's Hangouts and things like that.

So anyway – Oh, and our Hangout is next week, next Thursday, right, man? Sure. Let's do it. Nice. Yeah. So, yeah, our next listener hangout is next Thursday night, 7 p.m. Pacific time. Yeah.

And we'll give you more details then, but just get ready to get on video chat and party, guys. And, y'all, they are real, real cute. You need to come look at these boys. Oh, Andy, you should come on, too. Well, I'm growler cute. No, you're everything cute. are real, real cute. You need to come look at these boys. Oh, Andy, you should come on too. Well, I'm growler cute. No, you're everything cute. Ben's pretty Tinder cute.

Oh, thank you. Ben, you posted a pretty hot profile picture this week. I was like, wow, glistening eyes. Well, you know what was funny? I took that picture like a few months ago on my Instagram. Another reason to follow. And I realized I hadn't changed my Facebook profile picture in about five months. So I thought, okay, let me change it to something. And I've only taken

one good photo in the past five months, and it was that one. So I'm like, well, that'll be the profile picture. Me looking sultry. I need a good cover picture. You know the big picture on Facebook? The cover? Yeah. So, I don't know. If someone wants to make me a cover photo, I'll use it. Send it over. I've still got a New Year's one over, and that shit's done.

I don't even know what my cover picture is anymore. I really don't remember. But anyway. You should put the tuxedo. Oh, the tuxedo is on the banter one. Anyway, we are doing some bonus episodes here right now. We need to do some Robin shit. We need to do some Robin shit.

Okay, but before we get official, can I say one thing? Sure. I just want to say, I want to make an announcement that I'm going to try and stop using the C word, okay? I get that it's gross. When I hear myself say it, I'm like, ew, I can't believe I said that. When I say it, I think it's really funny and fun to say it.

But then when I hear it later, I feel gross. So I guess I'm sorry. That was a real Bravo apology. Olivia Pope has been working with me. She's taught me how to handle stressful situations in the press. That is, you are learning from the best of the housewives,

which is to say, if I offended you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you guys are so easily offended. No, I'm just kidding. No one really even complained, but I heard myself because I had to paste a lot of pieces together last week for the podcast. And I feel like every time there was a cut, it was with me saying the C word. I was like, what is wrong with you?

Why are you calling people that? Stop it. It was 2015. Like, this is when I need to make goals. And I know I'm not going to be getting any thinner. And I know I'm not going to be making any more money. And I know I'm not going to do any of that. So the least I could do is stop saying the C word.

Yes, I like it. You'll get good karma out of it, I think. Or at least fewer pieces of hate mail. So anyway, there's a lot of fun stuff on Bravo. It's lighting up our Facebook page, which by the way, we're like 25

people away from hitting 3,000 likes. Woohoo! Can we start with Atlanta because i am still fired up and it's only been it's it's like that was on sunday and i'm fired up it's wednesday i'm still i love that show it's so good so good by the way we should mention that angie is both black and from the south so we have only reason i'm here so could you represent everyone please thanks this is like this i'm like the special cnn correspondent you're that one black lady on fox well it's actually funny it's actually funny because uh we and you and i were texting yesterday and uh we're tech and we and I'm jumping ahead a little bit.

We're going to get to the whole showdown at the end of the Atlanta episode, but we're talking about how Claudia told Nini, like, when you're my age, that means you had edges. And I was like, oh, did that mean that she was calling her fat because she doesn't have edges anymore? And Angie's like, no. No, no, no. And by the the way angie perhaps you want to explain for those

of people who are as clueless as i was sure um as our as our southern black representative here i have my finger on my on my earpiece like in the name Hi, Ben. Hi, yes. Edges are when you have been wearing some type of hairpiece, a wig, or a weave for many, many years, and your hairline has receded to the back of your head. You no longer have edges. You may have heard this being used by... Oh, so it's like a hairline? It's your hairlineine it's most often used in correlation with naomi campbell oh okay that shit's hilarious she has alien head now meaning

as a lack of edges uh by the way i really like how you explain that in like full nancy grace voice Now, Ben, what I want you to know, people have edges and they put hair pieces in. They lose it. They would take a canoe out at 4 a.m. for a little time away from their wife if they weren't killing her. Who would put a hair piece in their hair and then say they have edges tell me that i'm here to help i thought that edge i thought i'm so glad you said that because i'm like yeah ben you're so white i thought it meant like edge you know what i mean well you did kind of yeah you lost your edges that's not good yeah i thought that's what. Yeah, you lost your edges. That's not good. Yeah, I thought that's what it meant. Like, you lost your edge.

Because that show's always making up new words for existing words. Yeah. So I thought that that's what was going on. Well, I guess to say to someone, like, you had edges, I guess the translation of that insult is what? That you're old now? That you're, was that your hair? You used to have a hairline, and now you're.

Well, it also is shade because it's shade. Like you don't have nice hair because you've had to wear weaves. So it's kind of a double entendre. It's sort of like, I'm going to hit you with the no, I'm hitting you because you have no hairline. And that's because you have, you've always had to wear weaves.

So, you know, it's like a one, it's been a long time. It's been a long time. It's like a typical young new housewife criticism. Like, you're old. Well, but the thing, it would have been, no, no, no.

A young housewife criticism, or shade, Ronnie, please, would be to say you're old. But a savvy one would be to say when you were my age, you had edges. Which is like, it's clever. It's like, bam, it's wordplay. So why don't we rewind to the beginning of the episode um and we are going to lead up to the big fight that

that capped off uh this this episode okay so uh let's see when it all started I mean there was some there was some like the typical kind of like quote unquote lifestyle slice of life scenes where Claudio went to the podiatrist and we saw a whole bunch of bunions and corns, which was very pleasant. Yeah.

Did you guys enjoy that? No. No. Ronnie? Ronnie's been stunned. We've lost Ronnie. He's stunned. Just the thought of that has just like put him over again.

Just the thought of that. Just the thought of that has just, like, put him over again. Just the thought of that. Just the thought of those feet. I mean, I was just sort of like, they are really reaching. I mean, this is content. We're going to the podiatrist. Right. Cute podiatrist, but still. Oh, my God, those feet.

I would prefer the podiatrist versus another trip to the spray tan or like vagina waxing. Oh, yeah. You know, like how many times do we have to see that happen, you know? Well, I don't know. Yeah, that's a new one. Yeah, that's true. But she has a kind of interesting job.

I mean, she's on a national radio show, but I guess they've already done that. Yeah, I mean, this is just like, it was a little something. So, okay, so there's the podiatrist thing. Then I think the next major thing was that we saw, so we have this Demetria, Demetria character, former star of House of Pain,

who, her whole thing is that she wants to be a singer, as if anyone cares. Like, who cares about Demetria, whatever her last name is? Demetria is like the Edith of this show, if you guys watched Downton Abbey. Like, nothing good happens to Demetria. I mean Edith of this show if you guys watched Downton Abbey like nothing good happens to Demetria this poor fucking girl

this girl is like Charlie fucking Brown nothing good happens for Demetria and she's like the prettiest girl too she's so pretty, she works so hard it's like the world just shits on her head and it's hilariously consistent she, I mean she does not know what she's getting involved with so hard it's like the world just shits on her head and it's hilariously consistent she i mean

she does not know what she's getting involved with she she's like oh great i'm gonna get into the mix with these real housewives like honey you were like 12 years old although i guess according to phadra you're closer to 40 but she is young and she is just not on the same level with these women and she is just getting eaten up every single episode. Oh my god. Come see my music video. The music video doesn't work. Look at my billionaire boyfriend. Half this room was fucked him.

Oh my god. Poor thing. So she was singing in the booth and then Nini and Phaedra come over to say hi or whatever. And Phaedra is like, you know, her usual... Why do people ever let themselves be taped singing in the booth on TV? That never works out well.

Well, because she's thinking... I mean, I don't care if it's Mariah fucking Carey in front of that tree. I don't care who it is. You better track that shit because nobody sounds good when the camera comes in and they're in the booth. Nobody.

Well, they all... Well, she probably thinks this is going to, like, lead to a role on Empire or something if they see her, like, in the booth. So... well she probably thinks this is gonna like lead to a role on empire or something if they see her like in the booth so um the thing so the thing is that phaedra is if i remember correctly phaedra starts in with a whole bunch of shady things like shouldn't she's like you should be doing gospel and folk singing right instead of instead of being a pop star right yeah um yeah that was so funny. And then she's like... Adra's such a bitch. She is. She is.

That was so funny. She's like, ain't you a little old to be singing them pop songs, girl? Come on now. You need... You're like... You need to be more like Milk to sing those songs. You're more like Yogurt to sat out...

Milk sat out on the counter for too long. I think that, like is bringing out this really kind of bitterness in Phaedra. Did you think that? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, and she's falling into that trap that the housewives all fall into where once they've been there a couple years, they're suddenly very threatened by anybody new.

And they all have to be really mean to the new people. It's so sad because it's always older ladies being mean to younger ladies. And it's uncomfortable. They're not even really. I mean, that girl's I mean, they're only maybe five years apart. Right. Really? That girl and Phaedra?

Yeah. Well, Phaedra's probably like 39 or so? 40? Yeah, probably. I mean, I think she just carries herself as this kind of wise older woman, but she's not that much older than her. It just seems to me like the past

two or three episodes, she's so sour and she's always kind of... I like it. You do? I like crabby Phaedra because she's always i like it i like i like crabby phaedra because she's always trying to be like well i'm not gonna say anything because i'm a southern belle but like i like because she's the worst because she has she is the shadiest of them all and so now that she's like letting it out it's hilarious all her little things like when she's when demetrius said that she played a crack yeah shadra when demetrius said she played a crack whore yeah shadra when demetrius said she played a crack whore and she's like oh you do you smoke crack for that oh come on but it's also like why are they this girl

is not a threat to them in any way do you know what i mean it's just kind of i felt like that's sort of low-hanging fruit they just they drove over there to be mean to her yeah well that's what they do and you know i also feel like this is what girls do to be honest i mean hey i feel like girls get really threatened by new girls isn't that like the thing isn't that what isn't that what you guys well we are our knowledge and gays too and gays too by the way gays too we've been way too colored by housewives shows like our opinions are way too informed it's ridiculous like women all they want to do is fight and throw tea parties. Whoa. All they want to do is have fashion shows. Women in real life actually have jobs

and friends and brains. And hair. Real hair. So despite the fact that people, like, she had a beef, didn't she? She had a Roger Bob beef with someone. Who did she have a Roger Bob beef with? With Kenya. Gautier. Oh, with Portia, right?

Gautier. Oh, no,ia, right? Gautier. Oh, no, there was Gautier, but remember, she also had an issue because Kenya, something about Kenya, like not denying that she was linked. So anyway, this girl, Demetria, she's so desperate that she pays for an expense-paid trip to Puerto Rico

for the entire cast. Roger Bob paid for that. Well, Roger Bob, a.k.a. Bravo. I mean, let's be honest. Yeah. Roger Bob isn't paying for anything. Did you see that office? That was like Ikea and rent-a-room, I'm sure.

Roger Bob's not doing anything. He's got a firsty-firsty. So they all go to Puerto Rico. Am I missing anything from pre-Puerto Rico? Did anything happen before they went to Puerto Rico? My notes say, Feet, Candy, Sex, Lunch, Kenya, Assistant. So, we talked about Feet.

Candy talked about sex, I guess, with Demetria. Talking about fucking Roger Bob, which I didn't really need to hear. Oh, yeah, about putting a vibrator under the balls. Oh, yeah. And also, I was imagining Candy using all those sex toys on her little midget. It made me think of that movie Under the Rainbow with all the midgets in the Little Wizard of Oz movie. Or not midgets, little people. Sorry.

She's like, see? Nah. Do you know how to tickle your balls, your man's balls, with a feather and your finger, and then put it down his throat. Now, what you gotta do is see, now, Riley, I'm like, Riley, take this lipstick and put it on your man's balls, but Riley.

Yeah, okay, what was she talking about? She's like, put this lipstick on and then go down on your man while you're playing with his balls. I was like, what the hell? That's a lie. And how do you go from, okay, we're having this sit down so that you can apologize. Oh, I'm really sorry that I totally set you up.

Oh, it's fine. Will you record my new song? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was a bold move. You're a mogul. It's fine. Abuse me.

And also, by the way, don't you have a... Don't you, by the way, have a manager named Roger Bob who's supposed to be setting... You guys, the artists, are not supposed to be doing that stuff, right? Yeah, you're not supposed to be going door-to-door trying to tell you... He's like, I don't know. Nah. Todd. Don't be tardy.

Yeah, she's still scarred. But how about this time you actually write out a contract with how much you're going to get paid. And how much you're going to make. Instead of just trusting some gold digging stripper to pay you. Yeah. And along those lines, I'm still waiting for The Ring Didn't Mean a Thing to be released on iTunes. Whoa. The Ring Didn't Mean a Thing to be released on iTunes. Whoa. Whoa.

Well, this girl can actually sing, and she's cute, and she should just write a song about Roger Bob. Yeah. Since they love to say that name so much. Yeah, Roger Bob. Roger Bob. Roger Bob. Roger Bob. Roger Bob. Oh, I thought you were going to do some freestyling, Ronnie.

Oh, me? Roger Bob. See? It's love. Roger Bob. Rent-a-room. Rent-a-room. Rent-a-room.

It's a good song. I would buy it. Yeah, it's good. So anyway, so they all go to Puerto Rico. And they go into like a little boutique hotel, which is cute. And then this is when Demetria starts her anti-Phaedra shady campaign, which is always hilarious to me, because that's really the worst way to handle it, to be like, I'm so glad you guys are all here.

I'm so glad you're all here. It's just so great. This whole group is wonderful. Although, I do have to say, Phaedra, I don't know. I got a little bit of shade from her. You're like, uh-oh. Oh, here she is already trying to make her mark.

I'm like, you are barking up the wrong tree. It's like a chihuahua coming out and peeing on the first little flower it sees. Save it up, there's a tree down the block. Yeah, this is nothing. If this is bothering you, this is nothing, Demetria. Yeah, but you know what? They were so nasty to her.

When they came into her fitting and Phaedra had the audacity to kind of approve the outfits as if she has any kind of style or taste. Also, the other one was hideous. She's like, oh, this one I like.

And we're all under the pretense that they're her guest. Like, who talks to your host like that? I mean, you know, if we're going to believe that she's, you know, invited them there. That was rude. Yeah. Well, I mean, when they walked in, I mean, Nini, I mean, all of the backhanded comments about Nini being like, okay, it's small.

It's small, but I wonder what we'll make do. And then she's like, it's her room. She's like, oh, it's okay. We'll make, I'm going to have to take this table here. This's small, but we'll make do. And then she's like, it's her room. She's like, oh, it's okay. I may have to take this table in here. This is small, but I can make do. I can make do. I'm like, damn right you can make do. You're from Athens, Georgia, okay?

You were not raised in some country. Okay, you know it's fine. A bed is a bed is a bed, okay? And I know you're like a giant moose, but you can fit in that bed, okay? And it's free. It's free. So stop complaining. Take the couch, bitch. it's a free trip to

puerto rico that motel six in athens has nothing on this place all right totally yeah i mean it's just like it's so tacky and so obnoxious the entitlement that she has you know she i mean she really walks around like she thinks she's you know meryl streep she She ain't. Yeah. She's like... Her wigs are the best thing about this season. Oh my god. Do you think that she's doing that on purpose? I think she's having fun with it but no, I think she's surrounded by

a lot of kiss-ass people who just say yes to everything and no one tells her how stupid she is. Whoever put her in that Prince Valiant thing hates her. It's like He-Man meets Bruce Valanche. It's the Hulk. Yeah. It's, well, I like some of those.

Somebody has said it looked like uncooked ramen noodles on her head. Not even that one. That one's, like, tolerable. I'm talking about that dried straw Chucky thing that she is wearing in her confessionals. What? No, I'm sorry. No, it is truly the most ill-advised Sia wannabe moment in pop culture. Sia, yes.

See you later. See you later, Nini. She should turn around and not show her face like Sia's doing right now. I would love that. I would love that. You need to sing into a corner, Blair Witch. Imagine like a little baby Nini. I'm a Demetria.

Imagine a little baby Nini dancing around on couches and stuff. No. I don't like anybody tossing herself on a dirty mattress being chased by shia labeouf uh oh she wishes no that's no that's that is that is definitely an ill-advised weave or wig well nini's just doing the housewife thing where she has to be fighting at all i think she made she went out and made up with everybody and it was like oh shit now now i'm not gonna have a storyline i'm gonna get fired and so she was like screw it let's just pretend that never happened and now she's gonna just keep fighting with everybody that's how that's how they have

to be on these shows and there were reports before all these seasons began actually that the contracts are different now so they don't have full year contracts now they only have like quarter year contracts or something so if they're not fighting or putting out then they get fired and the next one is brought in that's why this one has like a line of women ready to come in have you noticed but you know though at the same time like i get that they have to fight but there's a fight you know nini there was a there was a period of time when Nini was like the favorite she was considered the favorite housewife of all

and she was great because she would fight, she would tear someone apart and she would laugh and it was great but now she's cocky and conceited so when she's fighting like I get that she has to fight but it's like it's awful and it's mean spirited and it's just vile I don't think they have to fight, I just think that that's the easiest go-to to be entertaining.

You know? Right. Because who the hell wants to watch her walk through fucking Crate and Barrel with Greg behind her with her purse? Yeah. You know that's her whole life. With his toilet. I don't want to watch NeNe at Baja Fresh. HomeGoods, you mean?

Don't they shop at HomeGoods? Yeah, HomeGoods and Chick-fil-A actually is Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yeah, and they go to like Rosie Mexicana a lot. Yeah. Although Rosie Mexicana is kind of good. So anyway, so finally, after all this

silliness, like all the obnoxiousness of how they check in and stuff, everyone assembles for dinner. all this silliness of like all the obnoxiousness of how they check in and stuff. They, everyone assembles for dinner. wait, Ben, can you just mention the,

the bag that pushes handbag? Oh, the fact that it was like bought by an F one of the African princes, right? Well, it was, it was a Birkin bag. It was,

that's an, that's an Hermes bag. It's $80,000. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

they mentioned it. Yeah. They talked about it. know that yeah they talked about it I mean they talked about that it was like an expensive bag I had no idea that it was $80,000 I was thinking like $1,000 or something no no no and you know there are a lot of like fake ones but I don't

I'm not really sure I mean she is isn't she driving like a Bentley I mean it all is going together she's a taken woman right yeah but I mean that's like is going together. Well, she's a taken woman, right? Yeah. But I mean, that's like, it's either a Birken bag or a Kelly bag. I think that's a Birken bag, but there's like a wait list to get that.

You could buy like three babies for that. Like Lisa Vanderpump probably has one. Right. Well, Porsche definitely does not have the money for it. Well, they both earned it the same way that's right at least Lisa cut some flowers for her restaurant Portia

Lisa bought hers yeah Lisa works well Portia works she works at it I kind of love Portia you don't remember how hard swallowing is until you get a cold but I'll tell you just coming out of one it is that is it's true it's very hard well she

has a big mouth she has a big mouth um she can she can fit a lot in there so um uh anyway so everyone gets together birkin bags are left back in the rooms. And they're all there. And then I think Demetria is the one who's like, Phaedra, I just want to address something with you. I thought the things you were saying were shady. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And Portia's kind of like,

she doesn't want to hear it. Doesn't want to admit it. So she starts snapping back, whatever. And these two start to bicker. And Demetria has like her one rehearsed line all pent up she's like well there's uh one one number between us and that's eight as in i've had mine for eight and yours is going away from me and therefore that is the number but between us and that is my shade for today you know it was like i like that everybody looked at phedra like she was a bitch i mean mean, Phaedra was being a total bitch. But here you have some yappy little hoe coming at you who you don't even know.

Phaedra probably was just trying. I mean, she was being rude at the thing. She was probably just trying to be funny. I mean, I don't know. I just, these women, it's too much. I do think that's Phaedra. Like, let's wait for a real fight, all right? Sit down over there.

And then why is it okay to suddenly make fun of somebody's husband going to jail i mean exactly if this were jersey you would have been shunned well what was funny was that then phager's response was to say she was like well i got a ring i got a ring i got a ring i'm like oh now you care about that ring and you bought that ring yourself for real from a convict you took that shit off a dead person yeah let's not let's not forget the real shady scheme here paulo didn't buy that shit please i mean i think that when when phaedra is being shady yeah she is making some passive aggressive digs but i didn't i didn't think they were like the worst and she probably didn't even realize she was making them because she's so inherently shady so it's like what you guys said like she's hanging out with nini it's like she's yeah anyway you know

both the horrible people in this episode were hanging out with nini uh portia and phedra yeah because portia used to be like so kind of dumb and sweet and i hate to say that like i like women better when they're dumb but she was like it was sort of cute when she left her husband and she got a little empowered and she was like that i love yeah it was sweet i mean but then now she's just, she's becoming this little mini beast and it's like, ooh. She's just trying to get back on

and she's just like a spoiled brat now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And meanwhile, also, we should talk about before Dimitri even confronted Phaedra, there was this like wonderful, like, what is it, call to arms or whatever

where both sides of the table were sort of like declaring the line in the sand by their drink orders, you know? Oh, that was the worst. It was like one side of the table all wanted wine or something and the other side was like Nini had this ridiculous drink where she was like

she's like, I'll have a whiskey with lemonade and this and that and that and a spritz of lemonade. Slash! She's like, I'm going to teach you how to make a drink. Oh, God. Get some Hossie. Capri Suns.

Yeah. She's like, get some. Do you have any five alive? Get some. Get some Soko and some five alive. Mash up a waffle fry from Chick-fil-A. Stir it in there with a little sour cream. Add some ketchup.

And some creme de menthe. She wishes she had some Saint-Germain, please. Oh, yeah, that's right. She wants some Saint-Germain. Saint-Germain. Yeah, that's right. Way to get on it, NeNe. Way to drink five years ago.

I know, exactly. She heard Ryanphy mention it she's like san jermaine it's like that's my name my next son san jermaine s-a-n-j-e-r-m-a-y-n-e um so so and then so then the phaedra wanted one too then portia and it was like this whole thing like at each side, I was accusing the other of like, I guess Nini has her followers. I guess Kenya has her followers. And they both do.

That's what happens. They do. Both the alphas have their minions sitting over on the side. And I love Claudia acting like she's so tough. She's like, well, I see everybody's over there with Nini. Kenya, what should I say? Well, listen. Listen. Here's the thing. like she's so tough she's like well i see everybody's over there with nini can you what should i say thanks well listen listen here's the thing so first first there was like a moment of clarity so what happens the bickering started to get like you know there's a lot of bickering

and then on top of there was like this kind of like middle school uh side taunting like subtle side talking where like nini would whisper something to like porsche or something and they'd like snicker you know and it was just And it was just, like, it was, like, very mean girls. It was gross. It was awful. And I let, and Cynthia actually was a voice of reason first, and she was, like, well, you know, it's fine. She was, like, it's fine if Phaedra didn't, if Phaedra doesn't believe she was shady, it's fine, but I don't see what's wrong with Phaedra saying, I'm sorry to make it. That made you feel that way,

you know, which is actually, that's like a, a mature thing to do, which is like, I didn't realize I was doing that. So I'm sorry, you know,

that it came off that way. And I'm sorry that you got hurt. You know, that's, that's how you squash something. And that's how you act as an adult. Right. And then everyone's like,

and then there's how you act in Atlanta. Yeah. And then there's that. And then they acted as if I didn't even hear the end of what you were saying. Cause I was like staring at a wall. I was really bored. Not because of you, but because of that general way of behaving like,

okay. You know, if you see a lion, normally he's just laying there, right. And doing nothing. He's just being a lion who wants to watch that. But when you watch him ripping apart a chihuahua,

they'll put it on TV. Yeah. I don't want to sit there and watch people be nice. No, I know. But they have to find a way to be vicious in a way that's not... It's almost like Geraldo. You're just watching it because you know he's eventually going to get a chair thrown at him because someone did it before.

Yeah. So now... I mean, mean i understand it's weird it's it's you i guess it's you bring up an interesting point which is that there is kind of like this dichotomy that you you go through which is that on the one hand you're like why don't they just act like normal human beings and on the other hand it's like you're foaming at the mouth waiting for like the fist to fly you know yeah so i get that beverly hills are being normal and i'm like what the what's this about why isn't anybody fighting so it's like but you know what though they can't win it's it's just my way of being sanctimonious and being like this is how you should oh no yeah no i didn't mean you personally i just meant like as an audience member

you know you're like this is how it should be but then it's like sometimes i find myself reading message boards about real housewives and i'm reading like thousands of comments of these you know women from wherever fighting with each other over what the women on tv are doing and i'm feeling like so much better than them and i'm like what losers i mean these people can't even spell in these comment sections and looking and fighting over what nini said and then i'm like yeah you devote your whole life to that and then it sends me on this whole um mind trip and then i start thinking about choices and then i'm like yeah you devote your whole life to that and then it sends me on this whole um mind trip and then i start thinking about choices and then i start thinking about what's becoming of me and then i start thinking about 40 oh no it's it's this year isn't it well um either way so there was more cros talk, whatever. And then finally Claudia decided to, to step in.

And this was to me was like a watershed moment. Oh, absolutely. This was like three years. Like it took, cause I think Nini has basically been like a villainous beast for three years and then like that two years before that she was, she was on the way to that, but she's been awful for three years, like full on awful. And even like Kenya, Kenya did really kind, she was on the way to that. But she's been awful for three years. Like, full-on awful. And even like Kenya, Kenya did really kind of come in

and revitalize this show. I mean, say what you will, but she can play the hell out of this Real Housewives game. Yes. And she makes the show really fun. But even she, what Claudia did,

even Kenya has not been able to. And I also think it needed to happen right now. Because just, even like we're joking about the Saint-Germain, but like that is kind of encompasses how crappy her behavior is right now. Just like the entitlement, the rudeness. Like, yeah, it's just sort of like, we're going to just put an end to this. Yes.

No, exactly. Because Kenya, when Kenya has come at Nini in the past, Kenya gets wrapped up. Like, she can't, she loses her cool. And Kenya, when Kenya has come at Nini in the past, Kenya gets wrapped up. Like, she can't, she loses her cool. And Kenya's crazy. Kenya's crazy. So she's coming at her like a crazy person. Yeah, she does.

She loses her cool, and they just wind up yelling at each other. So Claudia, however, Claudia was, I thought, razor sharp. I thought Claudia, as Candy said, she was just, like, reading her. Like, crazy. She just dismantled nini so efficiently with a laugh and a smile she didn't lose her cool no you know she had a few lines that were like not so great they were like okay but like i always feel like anytime they go to like the stripper thing like it's never like that's not like the strongest shade that they could do

right but oh man she had nini losing her mind. She was so upset. That's why she had to say, call her a half-breed. Because when she pushed her, she poked that bear in that corner, and now she's going to kill her. Now you have to call her a half-breed. Well done, Nini. You just showed your colors.

You fucking loser. Bye. The beginning of the end for Nini. Yeah. Meanwhile, Claudia,ia i mean i loved when you know uh she starts like questioning nini's education my favorite i think my favorite line was when she was like she's like oh you went to college and nina's like yes i'm very college educated yeah i wrote that down too as if there's like a quantity of like, Oh my God. When she said,

and then, and then Claudia was like, spell bridesmaids. The S is in silence. The S is in silence. I mean, that was so good. And then,

I mean, she, and I loved, you mentioned before, I loved, it was in an interview but i love when she called nini's wig top ramen noodle like uncooked top ramen noodles so brilliant and then there were some what were some other things what were other lines that

claudia had do you remember um that was the bad that was the only one that i wrote down oh you know what you know what i liked when uh well first she's like i think claudia was like oh you're like the puppet master, you know? And he's like, oh, I'm the puppet master. I'm the puppet master in all these jobs, all these jobs. And Claudia's like, which jobs? The ones that got canceled? I was like, yes, yes.

Which nobody's ever thrown in her face. It's true. It's true. It's very true. It was brilliant. It was like, to me, I was like, oh, it's like sweet release. Three years of frustration and finally

someone has destroyed me. Because Claudia's, you know, like in her 40s. And I think, I don't know how old Nini is, but it's true. She's like, yeah, you look 20 years older than me. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And Nini used to look really young. Season one, when she had that long hair, she looked really young. And then she's had that had that short like sort of variations on mary j blige hair ever since and

it's just like it makes her look old plastic surgery makes you look older this chiclet teeth fix your teeth i'm very rich bitch oh and she started doing that again too i'm rich i'm very wealthy yeah i got money in the bank. It's so awful, awful, awful behavior. It's embarrassing to watch her, and it's hilarious. It's not embarrassing to her at all. She's just... From Wondery, this is Black History For Real.

I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that.

Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.

Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten,

curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.

Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. I mean, that was David and Goliath. I mean, it was so beautiful. I literally watched that fight over again throughout the week. I never do that. It was just so... It made me so happy.

So then, of course, I went to the internet, which is my favorite thing to do. And I do a news search for Claudia Jordan. So first thing that pops up is Radar Online. This piece of shit publication clearly has some sort of deal with Nini or something like that because they do they're notorious for making deals with the housewives

yeah because they also these housewives contact all the blogs all the housewife blogs and try and like make deals with them to take stories back or to change their stories I mean because because Radar Online is like it's official Claudia Jordan is now the most hated housewife.

I was like, what? No way. We spoke to sources on the set. And they're like, yeah, everyone hates Claudia. There's one thing that all the housewives can agree on, that they hate Claudia. And it's like this really catty, ridiculous article that was based on nothing. And there wasn't even a story there. And I was like, this is so obviously planted by nini's people like it's

it could not have been more obvious because everyone that i've been seeing everyone i've seen on facebook and twitter social media everyone has been like cheering claudia jordan oh yeah america's sweetheart america's she's like risen to like top 10 housework she looks like it she kind of is yeah she is so So then I did some more searching, and this is where things get really interesting. So you remember, was it last week, when Claudia and Nini encountered each other for the first time?

Do you remember that? Yes. Oh, yeah, and she kind of came up to her. And Nini was like, and that was it. And Claudia was like, but we know each other. And Nini was like,

oh, but we're not friends you know yeah so here's the backstory um and I think this is told to like realityt.com whatever and I think Claudia I think maybe they got it because Claudia I think mentioned it on her radio show someone's hairstylist go ahead yes no but this is this is really good

and there's like there is some evidence to back this up back in like three this is how they know each other. Back in, like, 2009, Nini was, like, tweeting at Claudia Jordan and was, like, asking Claudia to accept her friend requests on Twitter, okay? So Nini was, like, wanting to be friends with Claudia, you know, because at this point, Claudia had been on Celebrity Apprentice, I believe,

and she had hosted the Miss Universe pageant so claudia had some level of fame and nini was trying to get in with that so nini was like uh trying to be friends there and she was sending all these like super friendly um tweets so there's one there's one up on reality from november 29 2009 where it's like Nini Leak saying, at Claudia Jordan, people hate because they can't do what you do. So do you, boo-boo. So this is Nini, 2009, kissing this woman's ass,

the fame whore that she is. So apparently, you know, they got to know each other and they would see each other at events and they posed with each other in photos and everything. And Nini had asked Claudia to fill in for her at an event Nene was gonna host an event and so Claudia hosted an event for Nene because Nene couldn't be there so then when Nene so when Claudia showed up in Atlanta on this show and Nene was like oh hi that's why Claudia was like what

the fuck like we've known each other and you wanted to be friends with me all these years and you're the one who asked me to host an event for you. So, that's the story. Wow. How shady is that? I figured it was something. Yeah. Now I'm reading Claudia Jordan's Twitter

because we were talking about it and she's her first tweet is, until someone invents a time machine, all one can do once they mess up is take responsibility for their actions and do better moving forward. And I was like, what? But then I kept reading and it turns out she said something mean

about someone named Tiny Major Mama, whoever the hell that is. What did she say about her? Is that Tiny from Tiny and T.I.? Oh, Tiny's Mama, whoever the hell that is. What'd she say about her? Is that Tiny from Tiny and T.I.? Oh, Tiny's wife, maybe. Oh, yeah, because their kid's name is Tiny's Tequila. Wait, no, Tiny is married

to T.I. and their child is called Major. I'm sorry, Mama, that I know all this stuff. You're B-Sid, you're like, as you... Because I did go to college. They teach you that in college. They're like, okay, who's teeny tiny teeny major mage at Twitter?

Multiple choice. Fill in the blank. Oh. So that's basically the gossip that I have. I just think Claudia is actually I'm really curious how they're going to play this because she's in the best position like she could kind of take over the show now

yeah well hopefully she just stays smart yeah well that's been a lot I've liked her all season to be honest me too yeah I was afraid she was going to come on and be like a whatever but I've enjoyed her even when she hasn't been fighting. I feel like she does keep it real.

She's funny. There's something very relatable about her. I've liked her stories. I mean, she showed those feet on TV. You've got to give her some props. No, she's actually the perfect person in this because she's not, like, I feel like Phaedra has this really fake persona, Southern Belle thing that's so false.

Kenya's the crazy one. Portia's, like, the kind of dumb one. I feel like Claudia's just kind of coming in, so false. Kenya's the crazy one. Portia's like the kind of dumb one. I feel like Claudia's just kind of coming in, being herself. She's gorgeous. Everybody likes to look at her. She's in a really good position to sort of spin things. She could get a lot

of attention from this, meaning she could sort of sway this to stay on it for a while. Yeah, I think she could. Of course, what's going to happen next is that Kenya's going to turn on her and they're going to fight. Probably, yeah. I don't think so because she just

showed up on Celebrity Apprentice to support Kenya. Well, that was taped way last year though, so who knows. That's been in the can a long time. That's so many wigs ago. Yeah, that was a long time never mind that's so many wigs ago yeah yeah that was a long time how many wigs

have come between us how many wigs what one of Claudia Jordan's tweets is oh my god Mitt Romney is going to run again

I can't take it he's the Susan Lucci of the presidency no shade to Susan wow alright meanwhile Nini's like,

a baseball mitt's gonna run for president? What? What are you talking about, girl? Goodbye. Put a splash of high five in.

She's like, I've got a golden oven mitt because I'm very rich, motherfucker. I earned that. I stripped to feed my babies, but now I got a golden oven mitt.

I love when she says she stripped to feed her babies. She says that all the time like that's like the most that's very humanitarian yeah exactly and look how look how well your baby turned out look how well bryson bryson is he's trolling the streets of atlanta with his like kids and yeah your baby i don't know housewives props and in the parking lot of Big Lots. Yeah, it's... Next time on Serial. Big Lots, Bryson. Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.

Why were you at the Big Lots selling things? Selling things. Are you rich? Or are you very, very educatedly rich? Was that Russell barking? Russell was like, please make him stop. Russell, are you

barking at me or are you barking at me oh sirle uh yeah uh so what else happened on this show that's it we were left with i think the cliffhanger was like your clit left your body i think that was which only what does that even mean and she repeated it 20 times like somebody wrote that for some hairdresser probably wrote that shit for and i don't know but she didn't really know why and then just repeated it and really didn't know why and that's also not only the half-breed thing and women calling other women whores i mean that's that's just like the lowest low i mean i agree And I think also like, I also think like making fun of someone

for not having a child at 41 is actually extremely low. Did she do that too? Well, that's what that was implied by. Like her clit, like it doesn't work anymore. Like I think, in the things I was reading online,

the implication was. Let's look deep into the meaning of this. See, when your clit leaves your body you can't have a baby that's what that means that's like the ghost of the unborn baby leaving your body i have to say when she said it i i'm not saying this to be funny my image was of like jeff goldblum and will smith in their little spaceship leaving the mothership in Independence Day right before they blew it up and put the virus in it. Well, I hope this is – Imagine a little clit leaving your body like that.

I just hope this is the – I don't know. I really hope Nini's gone now. I don't know. Maybe Claudia's the one to do it. No, I hope that this isn't the end. I hope that Claudia dresses down nini like five more times this season i want to happen over and over and over again and then i want to see it happen at the reunion and see you know here's what's gonna happen nina's gonna be he's gonna have like

her her stupid you know like puss face on you know where she'll be like sour sour puss face yeah at the reunion well she'll just be like quiet be like i'm not gonna say anything because evidently people don't like what i have to say so i'm just gonna sit here and be quiet next fuck you nini like just talk yeah she's so awful so so awful yeah she is definitely the worst okay let's move on because we're coming up on an hour already. It was good. That was all Atlanta, which we owed Atlanta because... Yeah. They gave us a lot this week.

I mean, I've been waiting on that for a long time. I know. Me too. Me too. Oh, my God. One of our listeners, Curtis Jensen, posted a vine of Kyle's back fat. Look, one thing I always make fun of is Kyle's back fat because she's always wearing like a bikini top or something. And the joke is that Kyle's really not even fat.

She just thinks she's fat, you know. So it's funny to call is that Kyle's really not even fat. She just thinks she's fat. It's funny to call her fat because she's not even fat. She just wears her clothes too tight. Her clothes don't fit properly. She didn't see that Oprah episode on how to buy a bra or whatever. Anyway, we're always

making fun of Kyle's back fat. Curtis Jensen took a video of it and it put poor Kyle. She even has back fat in a blouse oh wow whatever you two never oh curtis you'll both survive you'll both survive it what an awful thing to say curtis it was funny awful how awful oh you know why she wears a blouse, Curtis? Because you can't walk around naked Hey Curtis Do you know why Kyle Richards has back fat? Because she has a back and she has some fat on it

Ben, are we going to be watching The Real Housewives of Cheshire? Because it is up on Deli Shows And I think we should watch it How do we watch it? It's currently on I think it's on YouTube I, is it on? How do we watch it? It's currently on. You can go. I think it's on YouTube.

I heard it was on YouTube. I'm watching it on the internet on Deli Shows. I guess I shouldn't tell everybody that. Oh, I always thought it was called Delicious. Is it? Delicious? Delicious. Wait, how do you spell it? Is it the one that's D-E-L-I period?

No. D-E-L-I shows. Oh, I thought you meant like D-E-L dot I-C. Oh, no. Delicious. That's like one of those sharing things. Yeah. Where you're like, I give this article a delicious.

And then you mark it and it goes on your delicious account. And everybody's like, oh, my God, that was delicious. Or something. Wow, I like these people. Kids and your social media and you're sharing programs and you're redditing yeah you're texting and you're calling people on the phone with snapchatting yeah all right what happened to the morse code okay i'll i'll watch i'll watch this uh real house has a cheshire so why don't we talk about vanderpump rules because uh more that that was the show. Vanderpump rules, horse face drools.

Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? This is just what I wanted the whole time. Seriously? I wish you guys could see. I wish you guys could see, because there's a new Christianism,

but unfortunately it's visual, and it can't be expressed. But what I'm doing is when I'm saying, I'm going to say, seriously, I still kind of miss you and when i say miss you i move my right shoulder forward and back really quickly ah yes that's like her thing it's like shoulder roll while she's like rolling her eyes it's like a there i said it and i'm vulnerable right now like seriously seriously seriously i'm holding both your hands right now.

Seriously? We could be happy again. Seriously? Okay, so let's start this episode way back at the beginning. Yes. Jax is getting a penis up his bunghole from an old person in Miami. Yes! That was the whole episode, right? That's basically all that happened. Well, it was kind of funny because here's this pretty epic scandal. And it was sort of like a big nothing because Jax was like, you know, I was young.

He's like, you know, lived with a gay guy. Nothing ever happened. But, you know, maybe it did. Yeah. Like, oh, okay. I love that he's like you know people can say whatever they want because I know what happened and I know what I did

and I'm really happy with myself it's like well okay well protein shakes we can thank that guy thank that guy give it a call Jax if Jax always lies

and he says we never did anything, I think the theory of, the logic of deduction, whatever, I'm very college educated, and what I'm saying right now is, he took it up the bunk. Yeah, Jacks totally took it up the bunk hole. Okay, so for those of you who don't watch,

they're all in Miami for this bachelorette party, and some older gay guy comes to join them, and it turns out that he and Jax haven't spoken for years because Jax used to live with him in his mansion, and this guy turned Jax into a model and still has a naked photo of him in his house, in his living room. But then Jax made him mad or something,

probably stole from him or did his drugs or something probably you know nothing good happened yeah and then they haven't spoken for years until now and so tom of course called this guy and was like yay bro you should come with us kristen kristen yeah let's see let's have a good time now john jacks you shouldn't have done that to that older guy why are you doing that like why bring people over i just want you to be honest jacks why do you have to be honest so anyway he showed up and then kept saying things like well jacks i'm over you i'm finally over you after all of these years and jacks is like hey man you know what you made me what i

am today i mean all of this is due to you. I was like, oh, that's a terrible legacy. All these STDs. You created a D-list weirdo 40-year-old bartender on Bravo. Well done. Yes.

Did you need instructions for that one? What a creation. Wow. It's like when kids poop on the potty and they're like pointing out their poop. It's like, yes, it looks like an L. Just fucking flush. I want to look at that. He's like, I'll give you one penny off of every chunky sweater I sell. He's like, hey, I took all those sweaters out of your house and I never apologized,

but I got a lot of money for him. You know, Jax was stealing fucking socks out of that drawer and selling it. Oh, God. Imagine Jax as your roommate when you're especially if you're older and you know, you're just using him for his bunghole anyway. I don't know why I'm saying bunghole. I haven't used that word since the 80s. Because you can't say the C word. Yeah, you can't say the C word.

So you're going the other way now. no i'm just gonna i don't like by the way when we're talking about atlanta at one point you referred to someone as a hoe and i know you wanted to say the c word very badly oh i was like i miss you c word i can still call guys the C word, right? What's the rule on that? I don't know. I guess you can do it. Come on, Angie. You're a girl.

Angie, put in your earpiece. Okay, this just in from Angie. Go. Yes, Angie. I believe you have a report. I'm getting it. Russell, what say you? I got a lick.

Go for it. Okay. Yeah, you can still call a guy a cut. But not a woman. But you can call a woman an asshole which is my favorite thing oh yeah i love calling a woman an asshole it's just so great to call a woman an asshole isn't so funny because it's so unexpected and so necessary yeah absolutely uh you know i think that I don't, oddly enough, I really, I don't partake of this show as much because I do have some standards in my life.

Meanwhile, I have to like catch up and put up on my TI and Tiny and Monster Child major, whatever. Exactly. I'm full with that info. But I have to say this is the white people's love and hip-hop oh really kind of just as far as like stupidity okay it's like it's like loving hip-hop with vocal fry it's like uh uh white and tanner yeah yeah It's like White and Tanner.

Yeah, yeah. Lust and Tanner. Lust and Tanner. Yeah, this show is a little bit ridiculous, but also wonderful. It really is wonderful. So what are the major things that happened? So there was the gay scandal that didn't really turn into anything. that didn't really turn into anything um there was um ariana oh oh horse face horse face was uh kept on making ariana feel bad with everything she's like when they like made like toilet paper wedding dresses horse face was like oh yeah like she would ever wear a wedding dress oh seriously uh, seriously. It's like nice boost.

Yay. Uh, seriously. And they didn't need to tell us that that girl smelled like Jim. I mean, we know. Yes. Yeah,

exactly. She's like, seriously. I just fought. Seriously. Let's make dresses. So you're going to put me in the same room as that one? I'm going to make this dress out of a noose that's strangling someone who slept with my boyfriend.

It's going to kill her as she walks down the aisle. Seriously, Ariana. Seriously? Seriously? And poor Ariana. Eventually, eventually. Finally, Ariana started crying in the cab, which was, bad like i'm just sitting over here and i go to the bathroom and i cry because he's so mean tom's like seriously that's terrible babe and then he tries to

do that to you i'm gonna tell her off. I love you, Kristen. He kind of like, he starts trying to make out with her. And then he remembers he's supposed to console her. Did you kind of catch that? Because he kind of like sticks his tongue in her mouth. And then he's like, oh, I mean, I'm sorry. It okay. Babe, sorry.

I thought you wanted a kiss. And I cry. Sorry, babe. It's time for sex time. No old times. I thought you wanted a kiss, and I cry. Sorry, babe. Not sex time for sex time, no. I'm just used to Kristen. When Kristen cries, it means she wants me inside of her. She's like, seriously? Seriously? Seriously?

Seriously? I just, you know, I miss it. Shoulder swing. Shoulder swing eye roll. I think that the real reason why Ariana's crying in the shower is because she's like, I can't believe my best friend is Sheena Marie. Stupid idiot. It's my bachelorette party and I still have more crotches to cast.

Let's do it. Yeah. Hey, do you guys serve steak that's shaped like a penis? It's on my list. That's my bachelorette party. Hey, Shane, did you make out

on a stripper at my bachelorette party? No, baby. I've got diabetes. My penis only gets hard twice a year and usually you're around. She's like, ah, I've got diabetes. My penis only gets hard twice a year and usually you're around. She's like, ah, so nice. She's like, let's go to the round table in Azusa after this.

She's like, let's go get an awesome boss from Shane. After this, will you promise to take me to Islands off of Azusa Boulevard? Thanks. Shane, did you tip the cab driver or did you put that money in the savings for the dessert bar?

Shane, can we get wings at the elephant bar? Thanks. Do you guys have any jelly beans shaped like penises? I want them on my dessert bar. Shane, I like that we're in the islands right now. Why don't we go to the rainforest. Shane, I like that we're in the islands right now.

Why don't we go to the Rainforest Cafe? We'll feel like we're in the jungle. The Rainforest Cafe. Oh, boy. Every time I go there, I buy one of those little knit caps that's like a frog or something. And then I get home, I'm like, when am I going to wear this? Like, I'm not going to walk around West Hollywood with a fucking frog cap. Excuse me, Mr. Manager of the Rainforest Cafe.

Do you have any knit caps that are shaped like a penis, but sort of like a frog at the same time? Thanks, it's my bachelorette. Do you have any knit caps that have a penis on my head? So what does Sheena, not Sheena, what's Stas, what is she, what's her purpose now? This is a show about servers in a restaurant. She doesn't work there anymore. Stas' purpose is to show how one person can write themselves off of a TV show. Here she is.

She was like the star. And now she's so the sideline. She's like, I'm going to dress like an old lady. And I'm going to show up once an episode to be like i am so over sir like i would never go back there ever and i'm just gonna go there right now to tell everyone there how i never am coming back again like the taylor swift song yeah we are never ever getting back together. Who does that? The best thing was when Lisa was giving her advice, and she said, you don't want to have friends.

You want to have followers. And I was kind of like, yeah. Yeah. And Stassi's like, no. And then, meanwhile, speaking of followers, Katie, who's like, you know, she could be, like, one of the people in Saw, like, fighting for Jigsaw. And she's like, she calls up Stassi Katie, who's like, you know, she could be like one of the people in Saw, like fighting for Jigsaw. And she's like, she calls up Stassi and she's like, hey, I just I just want to say, hey, just want to make sure everything was like cool. And Stassi's like, I can't talk right now. Bye.

But thanks for calling. I was like, these bitches. Lisa's like, darling, you don't have to hate everyone in the world all the time and lisa's just trying to tell her look if you still want to be on the show you have to talk to somebody like you can't just come here and talk to me about like you know numbers like you have to actually have a plot yeah calling your building you're the maintenance guy your apartment building does not plot make yeah exactly itisco it's like so hot it's really hot in here and my tits are falling out i'm like my makeup's melting off francisco that's hot and

then christina's like hey is that still the painting that you made she's like yeah she's like is that this is a hot here she's like i know francisco i know it's a hot it's like the whole it's like two weeks in a row i thought I was watching the wrong episode at first. Oh, no. Wait, I don't remember them hanging. I know. Stassi's next week is going to be like, Stassi's going to be like, this week, I'm going to go to Color Me Mine and I'm going to paint pottery.

Yeah, no kidding. He's like, look what I did with duct tape and a canvas from Michael's. Wait until you see what I do with a bear, some glue, and a couple googly eyes. I'm so over it, sir I'm making a coffee cup for my dad for Father's Day I made a spider out of pipe cleaners I'm soundproofing my bathroom with egg crates

So no one can hear me fart in there I'm sick of walking to Starbucks I want you to know my favorite drink is called a macrame because it's also my favorite activity and even if there is no drink called a macrame i'm making it now i'm macraming a macrame so stassi's basically to answer your question stassi's doing nothing okay stassi's a waste of flesh so yeah then we like everybody else in the show he's such thrilling enthrall Stassi's doing nothing. Stassi's a waste of flesh. And like everybody else in the show, he's such thrilling, enthralling lives.

Yeah, I mean, look at Jax. He's made it. Look what I've built. These former abs, it's because of you. This is the house that John built. And poor John. Poor meth face over now john yeah poor i mean he's you know still wearing the aggro crombie it's over but you still go to go-go boy conventions

poor john hey you know what though good for him He got some of that Jax ass right in its prime, you know? Yeah, he sure did. He caught it before Jax became a bear. He still had Jax when he was a twink and didn't have, like, rot mouth. Mouth rot or whatever. Yeah, yeah, meth mouth. Yeah. Fuck them while they're young, guys.

Ew, wait, what? I'm going back to the C word. And did you notice, by the way that like every chance he had john had his hand like excessively on jack's arms or thighs or whatever it's like i'm over you and i'm in you i'm in you right now got my prepositions mixed up it's not so hot i have a dangling participle um so uh anyway the but the big thing the really the big moment was that tom decided that he was going to try to ask horse face number one to stop being so mean to ariana so he takes her outside he's like hey kristen can we talk for a second she's like seriously seriously Seriously? Seriously? Sound of hope.

Yeah, sound of hope. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Seriously?

And I don't even remember really what he was saying. He was just like, he's like, Kristen. He immediately started crying. He was like, oh, Kristen. He's like, i'm not trying to hurt you please understand anything i do i just want to move forward i'll be cool with james i'll be cool i just want you to be nice i just i just wanted you to be happy and she's like smiling she's like it's, it's happening. It's all happening.

He's like, holding his hands, and he's trying not to yank them away in disgust. He's like, Kristen! I just want us to be able to move forward! She's like, that's totally what I wanted! I'm gonna get him back now, Sam!

She's like, I just wanna move forward, and she hears seriously i love you too seriously seriously ariana was a mistake seriously he said he wants to move seriously he wants to have he wants to have my baby which is crazy because i'm the woman seriously so what's hilarious about it is that so he's just like emotional because tom's always emotional and he's like crying and just like please he's kind of like pleading with her please just stop like let's just move forward it just it didn't work between us it didn't after she's like

well you know we had like six good years he's like no they were not good we're not meant to be years in general but it wasn't all good, Kristen. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously. But in cat years, it was like 70 years. And that's like a lot of time. I think we're meant to be.

Seriously? In horse years? I don't understand why he's like that. Because when we're together all she thinks about is me and sex and having sex with me and having wonderful sex but you know then tom's here and then that's all she can think about but you know when he's not here sex with me yeah i'm hot yeah and i am very certain that she's thinking about me when we're having sex like when she closes her eyes and says tom tom tom i I know that's just American slang for tomorrow, tomorrow.

Make me orgasm until it's tomorrow. So I get that. I get that. Tomorrow's a song. Tomorrow's a song from a musical called Annie. And I like songs and I'm a music producer. So I know that she likes me. Yeah.

I did this really sick remix to Tomorrow. And I know that every time she says Tom it's just her like referencing my sick remix because i'm like a really important dj back in uk in uk so but the thing that's so funny actually for i actually felt a little bit bad for james because like here she is going on national television being like oh so now i can win him back i'm like uh you have a boyfriend like yeah like how rude is that this guy this poor kid well not really poor he's an obnoxious dude he deserves what he gets because he's only with her for the fame anyway yeah but still like obnoxious to be plotting like to come get back with tom when you're still with this other guy, but that's what makes this show amazing. It's like real life soap opera. So will you guys drive me to

Temecula? Yeah. Why? I want to buy something from there off Craigslist. I want to buy a Wacom tablet. Huh? What? Okay. So let's move on now to Hot Lives of Bervely Holes. Seriously? Guys.

This was a very important episode. Speaking of crying, oh god, them bitches were all crying. I know. You guys, this was one very important episode speaking of crying oh god them bitches were all crying I know you guys this was one of the most important episodes it's our annual annual like Richards slash foster child

going to college episode yeah the kids are going away to college everybody yeah oh I actually wrote notes wait let me pull up my notes i really i forgot that i did this this is very exciting well can we start with um which i actually think is speaking if nini is the beast to be taken down on the east coast brandy oh my gosh like unwatchable i, she was at least a queen at one time. I mean,

let me tell you that scene where Brandy and her sycophantic gaze and Kim watched the lead, the Leanne and Eddie show was so it was pathetic. It was awful. It was, it was immature. It was, it was just,

let's just be real that's what you're gonna do i mean yeah of course same thing but to make that your story for the week i was like oh that's not a good look girl but if you're also if you're gonna like make fun of what you see on tv like be funny like uh like yeah when like brandy's become was like who wants to watch someone brush their teeth i'm like well who wants to see every time you've got your vagina wax or anytime you've like, you know, picked up poop from your dogs.

Like, I don't want to see that either. And I've seen a whole lot of that from you, Brandy. Yeah. You know? And she's like, I can't believe he's making a whole show about my,

about our divorce. I'm like, hello. That's all you've talked about. Exactly. She made her whole career. She's like, I'm a character on their show because they say my name so many times. Well, how many times do you think we've heard about Eddie on this show. Exactly. She made her whole career around it. She's like, I'm a character on their show because they say my name

so many times. Well, how many times do you think we've heard about Eddie on this show? Like, he's more famous because of you. Do you realize that? Yeah, and you're only famous

because of your divorce from Eddie, so shut up. At least he had a job before that. Well, not he's, she's more famous because Leanne. Yeah.

Really? I mean. Exactly. And then she tries to take some weird like sanctimonious thing where she's like, did he just, like, mention the kids? Like, is he using the kids in this show to get at me? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Don't even try to get high money.

Don't get, like, emotional. Don't be a protective mama. You're just catty and so are your gays. I mean, when they're like, that is not a cute shot of her nose. I'm like, I don't think anyone assembled on that couch has any right to talk about nose or any other features. After the Lego movie. Wait, I have one observation also.

So Jennifer Jimenez is known for being on those sober programs. Yeah, and she's like, she runs the houses and stuff. But like, isn't her friendship with Brandy kind of like a conflict of interest? I'm being completely serious because it seems to me like Brandy has some kind of alcohol thing, issue.

I always think that's weird that those two are so tight. I don't know. I think anyone who is friends with Brandy has a conflict of interest. You could be a doctor and it's like, oh, you're friends with Brandy? Oh, no, sorry. That's a conflict of interest. Like, you could be, like, you could be a doctor, and it's like, oh, you're friends with Brandy? Oh, no, I'm sorry. That's a conflict of interest. Oh, a chiropractor. Oh, got it, yeah. Yeah, you could be a shoe salesman.

It's like a vet being, you know, it's like a vet going and adopting a three-legged dog. Yeah. You know, it's important to realize that some things will never be fixed, and we just have to keep the fight going. Yeah, she's like her Faye Resnick like i love kyle so much like i actually really like the richard sisters but then faye resnick shows up and you're like oh oh okay this is reason that you know this is reason enough to hate kyle even if you like her on the show

she's friends with faye and she's friends with the kardashian mom if you like her on the show. She's friends with Faye, and she's friends with the Kardashian mom. Those are like her two best friends. Oh, I know. She basically is friends with anyone associated with the OJ trial. That's what you're saying. Pretty much. Yeah. She's like, here's my good friend Judge Lansito. She's still classier than Brandi. Yeah, she

is. Oh, for sure. I hate that Kim hangs out with Brandi now. I'm like, what happened to your feud like do you have don't you have any like don't you have any uh standards kim no she doesn't she doesn't instead she'd rather sit on a bed with a bunch of you know gays who just want to get in with brandy and say things like why does he have to comment on it why like why did they have to say that on the show like that's so awful as a brand you see that part where they went outside who goes outside that's gross they're disgusting and then brandy's like oh my god i can't believe they're showing you know they're turning my kids against me on tv and using my kids as a store i'm like shut up brandy yeah

i just wish that we could all get along. I'm like, really? Because your entire storyline, your first scene was meeting your lawyer, your rental lawyer from LegalZoom or whatever, at the coffee bean to talk about what a deadbeat, loser, broke ass your husband is. And then your next scene is to bash his show. Yeah, exactly. Let's make up our minds here.

I'm not sure that's the uh fast track to everyone sitting around the table joking about those funny rough times they had yeah but that's how brandy is but meanwhile we were like family we should be able to do that yeah she would be that type um she's like whatever i'm like impulsive you know i say things because i'm impulsive and i can't help it but then like you like, you know, I apologize. Like, no, you cannot hide behind that. Excuse Brandy. That is not acceptable behavior.

Children are impulsive, too. And they get in trouble for it. So you do, too. Yeah, and you still beat them when they shit themselves. Yeah. I mean, that's what you do, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, always.

Beat the rest of that shit out of them. So they're clean. Got clean anuses. So the other other it's funny that you mentioned that because this episode was basically a like mothers and and children episode i mean that's what the whole thing was right oh my god yolanda made her daughter write some apology letter to read on the air that was so sad she's like dear, I am so sorry because you are the best mother I ever saw in my life. And then I did this horrible thing to you and David.

I'm so sorry. Please note it has nothing to do with how you raised me. It's all because of Satan in my body who has now gone from me. But I love you so much. Stop, Yolanda. I know. Yolanda's like, sometimes you have to be a good mother and tell your children that even though they are drunk driving, you know, you still love them. And, you know, here's a $500,000 apartment in the middle of the city to make you feel better.

Yeah. Well, I love that Yolanda, like, when they're moving her into an apartment. Which, by the way, why not, like, have her share it with, I'm sorry, with Gigi? You know, like, two separate apartments in the city that these girls get. Gigi probably lives with a man. With a man? Do you know what I mean? Like, she probably lives with some, like, 50-year-old guy or something. Well, look at how Yolanda's made her living.

She wants those girls to have their own pens to, like, trap their old men in. Well, the best was as they're, like, figuring out this apartment, Yolanda is saying to us, like, you know, it's so hard to find an apartment in the city, you know, but with Gigi it was very easy, but this one we, like, we keep on losing them, and it's like, it's just very hard to find an apartment for a college student. I'm like, yeah, it's called a dorm. It's not hard at all.

It's like, there are vacancies. Unless you go to the University of Arizona, in which case, you're on a wait list. Yeah, it's really super hard, apparently, to get into a dorm, which you know that's not true. Kyle's not putting her daughter in a dorm. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, exactly.

Oh, and then Kyle's story was just painful to watch. It's like, slowly watch my husband become obese while my boring children say nothing and Portia picks ice out of a glass. Like, seriously? That was the whole thing. And then she's trying to pretend like she's just some normal mom, and the kids are like, Mom, can we ice out of a glass. Like seriously? That was the whole thing. And then she's trying to pretend like she's just some normal mom and the kids

are like, Mom, can we eat out of the mini fridge at the hotel room? She's like, yeah, kids, that's what it's for. I'm like, no, it's not. That's like a $5 Snickers. What mother does that? Well, this is also when we learned that Kyle's true aim in life was to be an attorney.

Oh, I love that. I was having these visions of Kyle Richards, attorney at law, and then hearing the LA Law theme song and seeing her strutting into a courtroom and being like, I object! Objection, he hurt my feelings three years ago at a sandwich party. You know, I don't appreciate that. And she accused me of saying that she was insecure. And then she gave me a really rude book.

So whatever. She should go to jail. And the whole time she has that, like, on top of her head Madonna ponytail. And she's, like, swishing it around. It's like those, remember those commercials for Herbal Essences where the female lawyer would walk in and she just did her hair with Herbal Essences and she's like, yes, yes, yes. And the judge is banging on the gavel, ordering the court. And then she's like, ah, Herbal Essences. I need an extension.

Do the splits on the table. extension. Do the splits on the table. I'm just imagining Kyle Richards calling Camille up onto the stand and be like, you know what you said, Camille. Case closed. Portia is her, what is it when you call in a special witness

for the prosecution? Portia. I'd like to call Portia to the stand. Portia, what do you to call Portia to the stand. Portia, what do you think about Camille Grammer? I don't care. She didn't give me a present. Put your hand on this Bible

and promise to never leave me. I now call to the stand Kim Richards. Kim's like, oh God. She rides in on a horse. Oh, and wait,

really quickly to, but I just wanted to jump to this before we finish but did you guys notice when um lisa was i she has a very weird relationship with her son max to me in what way she i she mentioned like maybe he's not succeeded because he's like he's adopted. She fucking said that. I don't know. I somehow I missed that line. Did you did you hear it? Did you notice that kind of Ronnie? I'm about to faint.

First of all, like I'm coughing and I'm getting these head rushes while I'm coughing. So if I die, it's because I'm dead. So, but yes, Lisa. it's because I'm dead. So please call somebody. But yes, Lisa, I think it's so funny how she deals with her son because she adopted this kid and then the whole time it's like he's adopted.

You know, it's not from us, darling. I don't know if it's because he's adopted. I don't know if he's not like me and Ken and Andy because he's adopted or not, but it doesn't matter because the only way a mother's only as happy is her saddest child yeah yeah that way i heard that that was like oh okay that is it made for tv movies i was dying and then they show a clip of her going oh max's first words were i can't i'm like oh my god maybe that's not a story you should say in front of him

and in front of other people it's to play devil's advocate is it possible that what she meant was that like you know like being adopted even though we treat him as our own there's still a certain amount of like baggage that you carry you know like when you were adopted i took it as her saying he's not one of us. Yeah. Like his, his genetics are different. So is it genetic that he's lazy or is it, is it because of we're bad parents? Like,

and I get what she's saying because of course that's a natural thought because if all the people in the family are one way and the adopted kids different and you're like, well, it must be his genes. Like it's not really that abnormal a thing to think, but to say out loud as a mother is hilarious because the way she's always talked about max is that he is this troubled kid you

know he was like brooding as a child and uh couldn't really do much and then as an adult he just seems like kind of a pothead whatever i mean he went to rock school and like couldn't stay in rock school or whatever and apparently he's really nice yeah like he seems like he really is very nice yeah you know to be like lisa and ken and then just have kind of a normal kid who just wants to relax and she's like i don't understand why you're not concentrating more in life i'm like look his parents are going to be dead any second and you guys are worth like 80 billion dollars like my goal in life would be to like pour a tiny bit of dish soap into your tea at a time and just build

up enough that you guys die so I can live with that and live with all your money. Except you know Pandora's getting it anyway. Yeah, exactly. Because she works so hard. She told people how much ice to put in those glasses. It's not easy. It was a long day

for Pandora. She folded three napkins um uh let's see so there was that but also lisa's this is like another rich parent who's like look i'm showing my son how to be real like he has to pay his own electricity bill when it gets shut off and he has to be a bus boy which granted is way more than any other parent there does but then to make him successful she's like he had to be a dishwasher then a busboy then a waiter then a bartender then the owner and then he'll own our empire it's like whoa whoa back down there's no way he's well to be fair also like their empire they they get money from somewhere but to be like to take over sir and pump is really not that special

it's not like you're saying oh you're taking over like le bernardin or you're taking you're taking over spago it's like you're basically taking over a restaurant that should be attached to a holiday inn but for some reason there's no holiday in there yes the cafe 101 or something yeah yeah it's where there's no waiters. And you're like, wait, I've been here for three hours and no one's ever waited on me. And then they just like drop a check anyway. That's totally the restaurant Maxwell runs. Has she seen her own show?

Has she seen how out of control her waiters and waitresses are? Like, this is not an empire. Oh, my God. I still love her. She makes me laugh every time. But yes, I could totally see the fights like imagine him sitting at home watching tv with his like senior citizen girlfriend watching the show and his mom's like is it because he's genetically different

or is he just lazy well who cares it doesn't matter let's make him happy because he can't he can't awkward also it's awkward seeing lisa's old face she's gonna be like the vicky gumbelson where when they show clips of every different season it's gonna be just like a slightly different face i know it'll be like um it'll be like uh that's that part of the black and white video from michael jackson when everyone everyone's faces morph into each other oh god, God. Like Cree Summer and Tyra Banks. Speaking of crazy faces, Lisa Rinna in this episode was Valerie Cherish.

Yes. That's what I said in my recap. Oh, my God. Great minds. She literally did the prayer bow. Yes. Where she like pray bows to the cast. And she has like some bit part in some terrible movie

that her friend wrote. And she's like, oh. Her friend Penn, Penn Jillette. Yeah, Penn Jillette. And she's like, here's the lady from Claire's Boutique. She's going to sell some cheap change. Yeah. But you know something?

In some weird way, like I actually think she's smart. Like I kind of, I mean, because she's friends with Penn Jillette. Like I feel like her and Harry are a little bit like tongue in cheek. Like, the red, when she was doing her exercises in the car, she had to kind of be like, oh, this is, I'm going to play the cookie. I think so, too. I think she's sort of like found her lane in the past 10 years of sort of like seed lists gigs. And she just does them one after the other and you know they pay money i mean she does a depends commercial she did celebrity apprentice she's dancing with the star

dancing with the stars really paid millions for that depends yeah dancing dancing with the stars was like the turning point because before then she was like still doing like the soapy things and dancing the stars came around and she got a lot of goodwill and success i wish she just stuck with soap operas. She was not on Days of Our Lives for that long. She quit really early and I think she was probably a diva or something back then. I'm sure she could go back. She should go back.

Brandy would love that. Wait, so did she actually have the party or is that in another episode? I think it's coming up. Did they actually go? It looks like that next week shit's going down. This is like a calm before the storm because next week Brandy pushes Kyle down a staircase. I don't think that was Kyle.

Yeah, it was. It was? I wanted to see who it was and that looked like a skinny person. No, no. I mean like a really skinny person. Like an unnatural person. Ladies and gentlemen, Phaedra has entered the building. What? I didn't say the C word. I didn't say really skinny person like an unnatural Lincoln ladies and gentlemen Phaedra has entered the building what I didn't say the C word

I didn't say a skinny C word no cause Kim was like storming out because Kim was acting weird and clearly hopped up on something and Brandy was going out after her probably to protect her and Kyle was going to attack and Lisa Rinna is like shocked she sort of stands and looks in the corner Lisa Rinna who's starting it basically

all this stuff about Brandy's alcoholism which i'm loving she's started this from that she's doing another soap opera plot where she starts shit from the beginning and plants little seeds that she can bring up later um now granted she was doing that all in her like testimonial things but she's very smart she's like yeah leading us to the point where they're gonna have an intervention with brandy or something. And I just love it. And I love these soap opera bitches on this show. Well, you can see that Lisa and Kim have a little bit of friction. When Kim's like, you don't know what I've been through.

She's like, don't tell me you feel for me, bitch. You don't know what I go through every night alone in bed. It's like, I have a feeling i do she's like my dog eats a little piece of me every night and i got that gap because kingsley ate is that is that really cute boy that took one of them yololanda's daughters to prom. Is that Eileen's stepson? Yeah. Because one is gorgeous. Yeah. It's really cute.

They're all pretty cute. They're all kind of cute, but one's like kind of exotic looking. Does not look like her or Vince. Yeah, the dark haired one, right? That's not the one who hooked up with brandy what hooked up with not brandy god i'm so sorry um gg i'm sorry like skinny slags he kind of looks like gg uh yeah and he's like yeah bank gg that was a weird

scene like just all around all around aileen's Yeah, and her husband's in this tank top looking little 909-ish. It's like a frat house. Yeah. Yeah. That was cute and everything, but I don't want to watch that. I like Eileen, even though most of her scenes, I'm like, why am I watching this? But I really like her still. Yeah, of course.

No, she's great. But she doesn't do anything. Not yet. She did get wine thrown on her and then she started the quiet stealth campaign against Brandy. That's great. Oh yeah, that'll pay off.

I think so. So next week, let's watch this week, let's try and find the first two episodes of Real Housewives of Cheshire so we can talk about them next week. I can only commit to watching one episode, but I'll... Well, there's been one. That was this week.

And then there's another one this coming week. Okay, well, we'll talk about the second episode. How about that? Alright, sounds good, Ben, but you're going to miss all the intros, Ben. That's the best part. Well, I mean, I'll watch the... Oh, Jesus. Oh, Ben, you're going to have to fap a little less this week, alright'll watch the film. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Ben, you're going to have to fap a little less this week, all right?

Fine. Just kidding. I'm being all controlling. I don't care. I just want to watch it because I need something funny in my life. All right. These bitches are boring me. All right.

Watch Empire. Oh, I love Empire. Oh, is that good? Let's talk about that in the bonus episode. How about that? I haven't watched it. Well, we can talk about it in a non-spoiler way. We'll talk about it in the bonus episode. How about that? I haven't watched it. Well, we can talk about it in a non-spoiler way. We'll talk about it and

make you excited to see it tonight. Oh, Empire. Okay. Alright, so anyway, Angie, what a delight. Thank you so much for coming on. You'll have to come back again, because you were so fun. I would love to. Yeah, Angie, thanks, lady.

Thank you for representing all black southern women. That was very helpful. I would love to. Yeah, Ange, thanks, lady. Thank you for representing all black southern women. That was very helpful. And half-breeds. Aww. Sweet hugs. You really got

everyone. Mimi made it okay. There you go. Everyone, by the way, please listen to Angie's podcast. It really is good um it is good and we don't cook for anybody on our podcast like we don't give our guests shit angie cooks for you yeah so go back listen to all the episodes get hooked just add it to your list thank you um and you can tweet at angie at uh all thePod. And on SoundCloud, the podcast is called AllTheWay. And then Ronnie, of course, TrashTalkTV.com.

And everyone, I have a podcast, another podcast, The Banter Blender. You can listen to that. Thanks, everyone, for listening. Like us on Facebook if you haven't. Follow us by going to WatchWhatCrapHands.com. Support us on patreon.com forward slash watchwhatcrappens.

And if you are supporting us, then tune in for the bonus episode. We'll speak to you all next week. Thanks very much, everyone. Bye, everybody.

Bye, y'all. Bye, y'all. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza.

Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And it's funny. And I love you.

To the insurance company that spurned me. Our time together has come to an end. It's not me. It's you. We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting Geico. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. According Geico, it was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast.

Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tears you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to Geico. Sincerely, not yours, Tara in Telluride. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.