Watch What Crappens - #162: Falling Off Wagons and Chopping Down Shade Trees

Episode Date: January 21, 2015

Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) spend the hour discussing RHOBH?s Kim Richards falling off the wagon and Brandi Glanville never getting on it in the first place. Then it?s off to The Real Housewives of Atlanta to watch the NeNe teardown completed. Of course, we don?t forget to cheer on the second bully beatdown of the week. Thanks, Vanderpump Rules! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Okay, thank you. Bye, guys. Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey, everybody. Welcome to Watch that cra mentioned it. I just was like, I just moved everything off the table. Ben, you either need a smaller penis or higher tables.

Or both, really. I mean, why not? Safety first. You can find Ben's stuff at bsideblog.com or you can listen to his other podcast called The Banter Blender. Yay. That is not with me.

So enjoy listening to that. Ronnie comes on once in a while. I have to record another episode. I haven't done one in about two weeks. Ben, don't be so lazy, Ben. I'm such a lazy fool. And I'm Ronnie. You can find me at Trash Talk TV.

I'm writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps over there. And we're also having auditions. So if you have a real shitty attitude and like making jokes about people on TV, come on over and audition. Or if you have a large penis. Or if you have a gigantic penis that likes to write jokes and not coffee off tables. Yeah. And you can hear MJ's pulling up right next door to get ready to audition. She's like, here's a chocolate croissant.

Here's a chocolate croissant. Come to our Facebook page, facebook.com slash watch with crepins, because that's where we talk to everybody. And everybody talks about Bravo shows. And we usually have live threads while the shows are going on to discuss shows together. It's a really fun community. You can post articles and read articles that other people post.

It's a great place there. And we are almost at 3,000 likes, which is so exciting. We're seven away. Seven. Seven wonderful people away from liking us. And then we'll be that much closer to 10,000 likes. Oh, my God. You can find all our social media links our twitters instagrams

facebooks etc on watch what crap is.com and if you want to subscribe to this podcast and get extras like our bonus episodes weekly our monthly ringers or our google hangout with other listeners which we do once a month and those are like parties basically where we all video chat and laugh our asses off for an hour um come to patreon.com slash watch what crap happens that's p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash watch what crap happens and become a subscriber there's many different levels and you don't have to subscribe this will always remain free but if you want extras come subscribe because it's awesome that we can actually do this and work less yay it's true and we just did uh we actually just recorded our bonus episode and we talked

about um greg plitt dying from workout and also yolanda foster's lyme disease and we talked about cereal some more and stassi um threatening to leave vanderpump rules and we we really got into it so it was basically an entire bonus episode of zero sympathy or empathy yeah yeah it was an episode about the worst things in the world yeah we didn't talk about aids but we should have to just we can get there yeah listen this we we're we're gonna be talking about jacks later so oh you know it could happen yeah we're kind of there oh yeah we i also want to give one other little plug sorry everyone sorry sorry sorry i want to give a plug to angie thomas's podcast because angie came on to our show last week we had so much fun with her everyone seemed to love her unsurprisingly because she's

great so um if you want to check out angie's podcast it's on our facebook page i can't do the whole link but it's called all the way if If you like her, go to our Facebook page. The link is up. You may have to scroll down a little bit. You'll find it. And go listen. Have fun. Yeah, she's great. She was so great. We were trying to get our little Katie Cazorla on today, but she had a meeting at work at her nail salon.

So whatever. Whatever. Okay, so that's enough plugging. Let's get on to some Bravo shows. Let's start with Beverly Hills. Oh, my. Ronnie, you know what? There's no better proof.

We keep on saying the past few weeks that Beverly Hills is back in true form. It's the best it's been since season two. And there's no better way to show that we're back in season two form than by having Kim Richards drunk off her ass again. Or actually just high off of a pill. Yes. I have not said that it's as good as it is in season two. Because frankly, I've been bored. But Ben has been totally into it.

Yeah, I love it. But you know what? I mean, I wrote this in my recap. But it is really sad that Kim Richards has to be ruining her life for this show to be fun. Yeah. But every time this show has been really super fun it's been because kim is a drunk i'm sorry but it's it's always causing all kinds of trouble she is hilarious when she's off the rails and then

everyone's reactions are hilarious when she's off the rails oh it's so true so basically it was game night which is a bad omen on this show yeah it's always gone so so bad yeah it was game night and it was at eileen's house so everybody had to drive a damn hour to get there which you know of course gave them all time to get shit-faced in the car on the way over brandy was driving with kyle and she brought three bottles of champagne and i think literally drank an entire one by herself on the way there so she went yeah from trying to be nice to kyle to just being shit face and completely mocking kyle which was amazing to watch right then in another car you have lisa renna stuck with kim twitchers poor lisa renna i mean off the rails, shit-faced. Lisa Rinna, I am loving Lisa Rinna. I love how she can be so cheery and yet totally shade other people.

And I think we've all been in that situation where you find yourself stuck in a car with someone who's way too drunk or way too whatever. And you realize, wow, for the next half an hour, this is going to be torture. I just have to say like, say enough things. That way their mood does not get belligerent. Yeah, I don't want to get beat up. Like, they're going to repeat their stories three times over and over and over again. They're going to, like, air all their sad things. Like, you know, because it's like, I really try so hard in life.

And, you know, I just feel like sometimes people don't get that. Like, that's what happens, you know? Yep. And so when Lisa Rinna was there and i could see she was like what what am i doing with this woman like what do i say and you have to sort of like you know load them up with all sorts of fake praise like oh no you're a great actor you're a great actor you do you're acting right now kim you're acting right now and kim's like yeah i bet you're asking him hey black kid you don't have a place to live come home

and live with me and play football and become friends with my kid i was so good in that movie lisa was like yes kim yes you were you were great at that and speed yeah oh gosh um no that was yeah kim gets in the car and she's like hey and lisa's like hey kim how's everything going she's like oh god i'm ornery she's like what i'm ornery do you know what that means? Stupid. She's like, are you drunk? Lisa ran up flat out and was like, are you drunk or high? And Kim's like, not today. I don't drink. I don't smoke.

I don't drink. I don't smoke out of my armpits. I don't. I don't. I do it out of my mouth. Let me finish. Notice that she left out i i don't do pills um well she didn't she did actually it took a minute she said i don't drink i don't smoke god don't take pills and carl's like uh you're on something she's like i have a foreign, so also just lies, lies, lies. I mean, addict lies, which we all know if we've been there or know someone who has.

Lie. Okay. Lie after lie, which is typical, but goddamn Kim. So she's like, no, I'm not drunk. So later in the evening, I don't want to even skip over anything that happens, but Kyle goes to the bathroom and Kim follows her in. skip over anything that happens but kyle takes her kyle goes to the bathroom and kim follows her in and that's when she's like i'm not drinking or smoking or taking pills except for that i just suck she's like i'm 100 in pain so monty gave me a pill i'm like oh god which is such a lie because in the limo on the way over lisa's like, what's wrong with you? And she's like, Monty's gone.

Monty's, like, I mean, I've been there with Monty every day. And he's just going to leave me like that? I don't even know where he is. And Brenda's like, oh, well, he has cancer. He's dying, right? But she's so blunt. You know? Like, well, he's dying of cancer, right?

Maybe he's just sad. And she's like, oh, yeah? Well, how do you think I feel? I mean, I've been there, and now you're just going to leave me like that, Monty? And then later on in the night, she tells Kyle, oh, I was feeling some pain, and so Monty gave me a pill. Really? Because Monty's not there. So maybe Monty left because you kept stealing his goddamn cancer pills, Kim.

Yeah. She's like, I don't know. It wasn't Monty. It was Kingsley. Kingsley came over and gave me a pill. And I was like, okay, Kingsley, we can go play. Marky Mark was in my house asking me to be in Ghostbusters. And I was like, I don't even know how to pronounce the gurneys.

So I said, okay, Slimer, get out of my library. I'll take this pill and you go talk to Kim Richards. Oh wait, that's me. I used to date the gargoyle from in front of the library. I, you know, I

took the guy from the painting in Ghostbusters 2 to the prom. It was great. We rode horses. Marshmallow Man gave me some Tylenol. I'm like... There was slime coming out of the bathtub, so I called up Bobby Brown. I'm like, stop singing that Ghostbusters song and give me some booze.

I love that any drug addict is Bobby's fault. Well, did you see the Whitney biopic? Oh, we should talk about that. Oh, my God. No, I did not see it. Did you? Oh, yes, I did. Yes, I did.

Was it good? Well, you know, for a lifetime biopic, it was on the better end of the spectrum. I mean, if you're comparing it to Liz and Dick. But it was like St. end of the spectrum i mean if you're comparing to liz and dick but it was it was like saint bobby it was like every like whitney like whitney was the one who made him start doing drugs and like like he gave up his so sure he he was like the whole thing was like oh bobby like he gave up his career so that way he could help whitney's career and bobby was like the one amazing career that he had going on yeah every scene was bobby being like whitney

i just love you like they even had scenes of him like cheating he's like no i just cheated because i thought you didn't want me anymore but i love you i love you like i love you from the depth of my heart it was like oh like there's no nothing bobby can't do anything wrong and if you did anything wrong it's because whitney drove him to it i was like please oh my god that's balls who wrote that what's it based on a book by bobby well that's what i was wondering i think that bobby must have given them a lot of access to the estate and then this is sort of um their way of of you know repaying him was very saying something when she died because everybody was like bobby's fault and um i remember him saying

something like oh you know I everyone talks about her like she was a saint but she was no saint when I met her and she brought a lot of that into our relationship I was like come on yeah she took her from coke to whatever the fuck you were doing like there's a huge jump between coke and like crystal meth or whatever crack or whatever the hell you two were doing okay exactly yeah that's like me like bringing marijuana to your house and then you injecting me with heroin and then blaming me for being the one who brought the marijuana no bobby that's not how it works yeah and when the funny thing was that there was actually an interview with bobby brown after the movie aired and he just was like directly

contradicting things in the movie so it's sort of funny that lifetime just sort of it's like okay here's our version and now here here's Bobby saying his version. So obviously nothing you saw has any grounding in reality, and you don't know which one is where the truth lies. He's also turned into Cedric the Entertainer. He looks exactly like him. Ew. He got fat. Really?

Well, I guess that means he quit the crack, so that's good. Well, it's his prerogative. Ha, ha, ha, ha. well I guess that means he quit the crack so that's good well it's his prerogative I don't need no make my own decisions it's my prerogative Monty King Richard sings Bobby Brown's greatest hits every little step I take

you will be there Kingsley Kyle saw my house. Now I'm all by myself. I don't know what that was. I just... Don't leave me all by myself. He didn't sing that song, did he?

No, no. He had a song called Honor. It was the Ghostbusters song. You know, he sang one of the Ghostbusters songs. I was going to say, could you imagine if he was saying, All by myself. No, it was like, Well, I guess we could run on our own. Something like that.

On My Own from Les Miserables? No. I think the Ghostbusters 2 song was called On Our Own. I'm looking it up. Looking it up. No one cares. It's actually a really 2 song. It's called, like, On Our Own. I'm looking it up. Looking it up. No one cares. It's actually a really good song. And, um,

I don't know where... I don't know where... What it's called. Ghostbusters 2. Bobby Brown. Listening to Kim Richards this episode was like listening to Bobby Brown. Lie after lie. Yes. But it was funny because when she got in the thing, when she got in the car and lisa was

like are you drunk and she's like no i'm not drunk monty love me and then she's like blaming monty for like hurting her feelings when he's dying of cancer and then lisa renna's like oh yeah you know uh how did it get on their acting careers i don't even know no because no oh well yeah i don't know how they got to the acting career, but then they had this weird, like, like stare off thing where, Oh, I think that Lisa was like,

started saying you're acting right now. Or, or, or, Oh, I think that did Kim look at Lisa's eyes and be like, you're doing that. Like,

excuse me, that like sexy vamp kind of thing, or like femme fatale. And then that's when Kim was like, fucking hate you i fucking hate you right and lisa didn't know what to do so she's like i fucking hate you and then kim was like i fucking hate you it's just or something like that you're acting right now kim you're such a good actress and kim's like yeah yeah, yeah, I am. It was such a weird moment. By the time they show up to this party, Lisa Rinna's freaked out.

It's like talking to Harry in the middle of the night when he just wakes up to Pete. He's not wasted. He's just really confused. He's like, oh, where am I? Was I in Ghostbusters? And she's like, no, Harry, you weren't so she's like look at my bush look at my gigantic bush let's let's braid my gigantic bush together harry which we'll get to later so brandy is wasted by the time they show up yeah and eileen is just nagging at her husband like usual well they're they're getting weird, and Aileen's like, hey, I want to play poker because I'm a big gambler, and I never was a big gambler until my husband taught me sports betting.

But, you know, we bet a lot of money, and I was like, that's why I bitch-returned to Days of Our Lives. She was not, like, lonely in the house. She'd bet all of her money away. Yeah, yeah, that's good. That house is barely holding on. That's why all their furniture is, like, as people die from the cast of Cocoon, they just go take all their shit and put it in their house. American Psycho, as Brandy called it, right? Yeah, she called it Norman Bates Chic.

Right. Which that house is kind of creepy and old lady-ish. And it has faux painted walls. Yeah, there's a lot of like pictures up. It's like too much. Too much. Too much faux painting. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of pictures up. It's like too much. Too much. Too much faux painting. Okay?

Yeah. Well, yeah. And old lady lamps. Still love Eileen, but yeah. Yeah, Eileen's too wonderful to have such a tacky house. Yeah, maybe she's doing it ironically. No, I don't think so. Oh, darn.

So anyway, Brandy shows up wasted and is very rude, like making fun of the house. Of course. Eileen's like, she's weird. And then just sits next to Kim and they just are shit-faced together. Laughing, cursing, making fun of everybody, telling everybody to fuck off. Well, they're telling everyone they're stupid, right? They're like, who says that they're stupid? Was it Brandy who was like... Brandy was like, you guys are stupid telling everyone they're stupid right they're like who says that they're stupid is it brandy who is like brandy's like you guys are stupid but they are stupid i mean

the thing is with drunk people there's a certain level of lies there but there's also a certain level of honesty that you just can't get and that's what's so funny you know because they are all acting stupid they're like what how do you play how do it What's an ace? Is a king higher than an ace? Like, you know these bitches know how to at least play Texas Hold'em. Come on. Yeah, I mean, they're like 67 years old. Like, they played poker at least once. Yeah.

And it's also, even if you haven't, it's like a very easy game to learn. Yeah. Very easy. They're in that, I'm just a girl. I'm just a young, stupid girl. No, you're an old, stupid girl. And Kim's like, Kyle, you're stupid. She kept calling her stupid.

She's like, Kyle, why are you being stupid? And then Kyle's like, I'm not acting stupid. And Brandy said, no, you're not acting stupid. You're just stupid. Ha, ha, ha. And Kim's like, I'm sorry. And then who else? I mean, to be fair, I felt for Kyle because that is a really annoying situation to be in.

Like you're it's like two things are going on. Your sister is has fallen off the wagon. She's drunk and being super annoying. And on top of that, she's having way more fun than you are. You know, it's like she's like, I'm so madder and she gets to have a better time, too. Yeah. And on top of that, she's having way more fun than you are. You know, it's like, she's like, I'm so mad at her and she gets to have a better time too. Yeah. And she's winning.

I mean, I don't feel bad for Kyle because it's like Kyle finally has a storyline again. She gets to complain about her sister and how hard her sister's alcoholism is on her. If she really cared about Kim, she would have put her in a car and gotten her the hell out of there. But instead she's like trying to grab Kim's arm and she's like,

come back here and talk to me, you know, so we can get this all on camera and kim's like yeah screw you kyle i just stole some nuts and a paper towel out of the kitchen i'm out of here i don't appreciate it and kim got mad at her for not supporting her or something i mean what the hell yeah well yeah exactly well i think there was i just know at one point a slice of pizza went flying in the foyer i think brand uh kyle was trying to grab kim and brandy was guarding kim like kyle was trying to beat her and then uh brandy just pushed kyle down the little stair which i didn't which by the way i did not appreciate because you know say what you will about Kyle,

I feel like, you know, Kim is, you know, she's not sober, okay? She's not sober. Kyle's her sister. I don't think it was up to Brandy to, like, be the cock block there. That's, like, I think, I mean, you can say what you want about Kyle wants a storyline, Kyle wants everything to

happen on camera, regardless of the situation. There was, like, something that was going down and i would have steered clear and let kyle take care of it i don't think it was brandy's place to shove kyle out of the way although it was sort of fun to watch it it is bizarre too watching uh watching it be brandy who's obviously a drunk and the whole time she's talking about oh you know I think alcoholism is a disease. And some people have it and some people don't. I don't think you just become an alcoholic. You're born that way.

Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, as she's getting shit-faced in the limo. Yeah, and by the way, you can become an alcoholic. Yeah, some people are born predisposed. But guess what? Like all drugs, you can get addicted. So stop being stupid, Brandy. Who's the stupid one now? And she doesn't even listen to herself because she's like, you can't become an alcoholic.

You're born that way. I mean, I didn't start drinking until after Eddie left me. Like, hello, are you listening to yourself? You're self-medicating. Yeah. And you're pretty clearly an alcoholic at this point. yeah and you're pretty clearly an alcoholic at this point on yeah like on the celebrity apprentice when she's like i i have i'm having a panic attack in my hotel really is that a new code for uh martini yeah i i can't believe i'm saying this but i've i've actually been rooting

for kenya on celebrity apprentice i know she's not gonna make it all the way but i've been rooting for her uh well we know she's not gonna make it because she's got the worst fire like one of the worst firings of all time and donald trump tells her she's the worst person he's ever met yeah which will be fun but like for right now like in the kenya brandy war i'm on kenya's side oddly enough yeah brandy's awful brandy's the same way she is on this show just being awful to be awful at least kenya usually has to get pissed off before she's so rude. She has a few very acid tongue moments. Brandy is the one who's being into the bitch.

It's Brandy. Yeah, Brandy's being the asshole. Kenya's really on her best behavior on that show and on, I mean so far, and on Atlanta. She's not really being bad on Atlanta. Well, she doesn't have to be. I think

Kenya is both very dumb and very smart at the same time. being bad on Atlanta. Well, she doesn't have to be. You know, she's sort of, she's, I think like, Kenya is like both very dumb and very smart at the same time. And I think she sort of, she sort of sees how she needs to position herself. And she's, she's being pretty smart about,

about like making sure she doesn't come off too strong, I think. For now, for now. For now. She can never, she's not,

she's not smart enough to maintain it. You know, she always she always falls apart yeah um anyway uh we're uh we're talking about brandy being an alcoholic and and then when brandy was like i beat all the actors like you guys are all actors and i beat you i was like shut up you're. Yeah, she got one hand. And then she took Vince's poker award, which did look like it was paper mache.

Oh, yeah. She's like, oh, look at my reward. I bought this on the Venice Boardwalk for $3. And it wasn't like Eileen. Didn't she get mad? I watched this at like 3 in the morning. So at one point I started to doze off. Didn't Eileen get mad that she called it a tchotchke from Venice Boardwalk?

Yes, because it's so rude i i mean i i i mean to be fair it did look like a tchotchke that's one case where i think eileen should have just laughed it off she probably like pulled it off the wall she's like well i guess it's one last one last piece of decor in this house so funny okay so kim's off the wagon again but she said it was just because of one pill she didn't steal at all from a cancer patient so congratulations kim it's the size of a baseball but i kind of want to fake that kind of cancer so i'm going to look up the symptoms of that guy's cancer because that pill looked amazing yeah meanwhile uh lisa lisa vanderpump really didn't do much i mean she uh she went to Mexico, and she walked around with Jiggy.

She was out there. There actually was, before all this, like, poker night stuff, there was a whole thing where they went to Bacara and got spa treatments, but nothing really happened there. It was just sort of, like, the standard stuff. Yeah, they had to get spa treatments, and Brandy just tried to get airtime by saying cunt, and, oh, damn it! I was not supposed to say that word anymore.

Sorry, everybody. I gave that word out. You were quoting. I know, but I'm still trying to not say it. But Brandy was talking about, like, vagina and how her fantasy is to walk in on her husband. Oh, yeah. And then he can't stop until he comes. So she has to watch him. And then's like mad but comes anyway that is such a weird that truly is a very strange fantasy

hey i'm not going to begrudge anyone whatever sexual fantasy they they have because fantasies are fantasies but it's not a very real it's like it's it's fucked up and also shows why she's so why she can't stop talking about eddie sab and why she's so bitter because she's obviously still very much so in love with him and has sexual fantasies about him. Yeah. It's like he came and stayed with the mistress. You can't blame her. He is fine. And then everybody talked about their – he's getting less fine and I think he's going to get fat.

Oh, I think he's aging very well. I think he's aging quite nicely. And then everybody else talked about their bush for a while yeah and kyle talked about how all these kids are running around getting all their hair lasered off but they're gonna be mortified once their um vagina ages and they're stuck with like looking at that thing which just really scared me about kyle's vagina and then lisa said that harry likes an afro bush so she's got to walk around with like a big old afro bush on uh it's like the lmfao guy down there and then in santa barbara kyle plans a wine tasting with kim which is what started kim's whole thing yeah because they take kim to a fucking wine tasting and carl's like oh i didn't know it was a wine tasting i

thought it was just dinner kyle you did not think that well you know it's called a wine tasting i know and what's even worse though is that she kept on going over to kim be like are you okay i just want to make sure you're okay then like again like are you okay are you okay like i feel like probably as someone in recovery would would really resent like the constant like are you okay are you okay okay like ask once that's fine but don't keep coming back yeah i mean on one hand at some point you've got to learn to be around stuff like that on the other don't be taking your drunk sister to a wine tasting for christ's sake i mean even once you arrive there and you realize it's a wine tasting even if you didn't know then say let's go to chili's okay i know they gave Kim this, like the super patronizing mango juice.

Like, Oh, the chef made you a mango juice. Thanks. She's like, I'm going to go outside and call pill guy. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. That was really sad. I love that. Lisa Vanderpump is just like, not even caring about what a bit she comes off like at this point. She's she doesn't like him a crap anymore and she's just like kim darling you do you feel all right all right well i'm sorry that you're an alcoholic darling but i'm gonna get shit faced oh my god i love it lisa does not give a fuck about these women she only cares about eileen and lisa at this lisa rinna at this point

she doesn't care about the others but what will be fun is next week it looks like you know post shove kyle richards is now gonna be training against brandy again and coming back to lisa vanderpump which is funny because it only took kyle about three seasons to realize she should stop going after lisa and join lisa yeah but i mean now that now she's joined with lisa but now lisa's gonna see all the shit kyle's been talking about her the whole season again and not want to be friends with her again it's like a vicious circle yeah but i love watching lisa just i mean then they show her on the on the beach in cancun and it's like pandora filming her or something because they didn't send a camera exactly she's like momora filming her or something. Because they didn't send a camera. Exactly. She's like, Mom, come walk over here.

She's like, darling, on a nude beach, Jiggy's naked, darling. Yeah, Jiggy. Look at Jiggy being naked on the nude beach. I'm like, wow, wasted Lisa on the beach. Yeah. With a gigantic glass of rosé. Love it. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know i i i know i understand why you're bored but i am not i was not bored last night and i know i know but i still love i still love this show the reason i've been bored with it is because i cannot watch more kids go to colin i think ilana is awful i think she's an awful i mean everybody knows i think that i don't think she's a good addition to the cast she's fake she doesn't bring any kind of drama she brings no personality to me she's just some gold digging hooker to me so yeah there's been time spent on her don't like it kyle has nothing to say if kim's not drunk so she's just like been crying about her children i just that stuff i don't care about kim has nothing to say because she's not drunk so that she's just been like showing up randomly in some weird aqua turtleneck.

I think that I think that what I've enjoyed about this season is that with the addition of Lisa and Eileen Davidson. These are two personalities that I am really enjoying watching, you know, and that's always the mark of good casting and a good season is that when even when they're sort of doing mundane things you sort of care and you're interested in what they're doing and you're entertained and that's what that's how i felt so it sort of balanced out the more tired storylines of kids going off to college you know well they've got a pretty good um base yeah going on you know it's just that they're first-year housewives, so they're not comfortable enough being C-words yet, but they will be. By the way, can we talk also about the crazy gladiator

shoes that Kyle Richards put on from her boutique and then walked out of the store with? Those were like two prisons for fat calves. It looked like she was going off to play fancy field hockey. That was fat calf. I understand the gladiator shoe.

I get it, and I even like it. But those do not look right. You know what it was? It was like someone took a filet of beef and trussed it all up, and she made it her legs. Yes, it's like those containers that hold berries. And then the berries start getting soggy and start hanging out of them and they're selling them for like 25 cents at the end of the day at the farmer's market it's like she decided to make socks from lacrosse lacrosse sticks yeah that was

that was not a cute look poor kyle yeah it didn't it made her look very stumpy it was just it didn't she just does she i'm sorry i think kyle just, it didn't, she just does, I'm sorry. I think Kyle is actually very pretty. Oh, yeah, she is very pretty. She does not have the body for those crazy, crazy, like, hype, or especially with that outfit. It just didn't work. The gladiator.

Yeah, she needs a better gay. No offense. Her gay seems very nice, and Lord knows he can get free shit. Yeah. God, that guy knows he can get free yeah that guy knows how to get some sponsorships going that's for sure do you know uh believe you know i was actually like like i think two years ago i think i was actually supposed to go on a date with that guy and we like i think we met on like scruff or something like that and we had texted back and forth and uh it just got to be like it's one of those things where it's just like uh this is getting to be like a pain in the ass trying to organize this kept on getting put off

and it just never happened oh i'm not busy at that time are you free this time no i'm busy are you yeah you're just like no i'm busy it's like please you're a fucking personal assistant you're not that busy get over yourself he seemed very honestly he seemed very nice he seemed very very nice over text so it seems very nice on the show, too, actually. I'm just saying get a better gay because she needs somebody to tell her, you know, no. Well, she needs better. Yeah. Remember last season?

Was it last season when she opened up that boutique? Yes, because she was joining the Chamber of Commerce. Kyle and Aileen, too. Yeah. So she, I remember they showed her gay is in the boutique last year and they were like just fawning all over her like oh my god kyle you look great you look so wonderful but she does not need those gays she needs she needs a good a good gay can give her some tough love some tough fashion love i'm looking up to see if

kyle's store is still open Is it? I don't know Oh, I guess it is, yeah Oh, it's got three and a half stars That's not so bad But there's only 25 reviews This place is still open How are there only 25 reviews? People don't really rate stores as much as restaurants

And you know that there's probably a one-star review from Carlton in there She's like, she killed a wasp in the corner. I saw it all. Never come back here. Stupid Carlton. Chamber of Commerce. Anti-Semite. I'm sorry for coughing.

No. I know it's so annoying. Someone last week was like. Please. Stop coughing on the podcast like i came on the podcast thinking oh i'm gonna cough a lot today fuckers people it's like making fun of people with cancer this isn't radio okay we don't have we don't have a cough button that they do on radio do they have those i want one of those yeah like so if you have to call if you

press the button and your microphone shuts off while you cough and then you undo it um yeah i walked into the store thinking it was an age-appropriate women's apparel store for ages 50 to 60 but seeing how these sales associates acted towards me it felt more like an upscale wet seal store i saw a cut copy style of rebecca minkoff's becky blazer with a different brand name on it at k's, and it was $600 more. The quality is not that tailored. I did purchase a few scripts that you could easily find at BB, which racked up my purchases to about $1,700. That's pretty insane for how little I got.

Bitch, if you were stupid enough to pay $1,700 at a store owned by Kyle Richards, I'm going to yell how stupid your ass is, Marina B. from Roseville, California. Yeah, it's called it's called uh go to the beverly center get in your car drive two miles go to the beverly center and get a cheaper like what like i would i'm like the cheapest person i know i like if i see something is like two dollars more at ralph's i'm gonna go to fresh and easy and save that two dollars fresh and easy fresh and easy is wonderful, by the way. And if people don't support it and it closes down, it's our loss.

I mean, weren't they supposed to close like two years ago? What the hell? Why is it still open? I don't know. But I'm so glad they are because they are the best. They are generally cheaper than everyone else. They're good quality. They don't have all that annoying kitsch from like Trader Joe's.

And they're so much cheaper than Ralph's. It drives me nuts. Yeah, Ralph's is the's and um they're they're so much cheaper than ralph's it drives me nuts yeah ralph's is the worst and they're very expensive their produce is out of control yeah they ralph's just like changed the one next to me just changed their floors so now they've got brown floors and they're like okay well time to raise the prices because we look fancier i'm like no you're a neighborhood supermarket you're not pavilions also the one by you is really gross that's the disco ralphs right yeah rock and roll ralphs tell me about it i was but yeah this is so gross there that's the

one that we talk about that's like the walking dead set outside where all the homeless people are like coming at you like looking completely out of it like they're gonna get your head off i had some crazy tranny behind me in line for the the the in ralph starbucks today and it was like it was like i could not get my i could not get my iced coffee fast enough um let's see where were we being all right so beverly hills are we done with that i'm i'm i have to say for beverly hills i have not seen evidence of Eileen going crazy this season, but Lisa Rinna is about to turn some shit around on an alcoholic. Yeah.

It looks like it might be Kim, but I have a feeling it's going to be Brandy. Yeah, I think so. I say, why don't we hop in our car, drive up Santa Monica Boulevard out of Beverly Hills and into West Hollywood for Vanderpump Rules. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously?

Um, this show, amazing, and it's also hard to not start at the end. So let's start at the beginning. Did you take any notes, Bean? I did take some notes. Um, let me look. I didn't take as many as I have in the previous weeks, but let's see. So one thing that happened is that Peter, the manager, was flirting a lot with Vale. And he even took her out to coffee and then flipped the script and made it a full-on date and ordered some wine.

And Vale's like, oh, my God, I didn't realize. She's like like i didn't realize it was like a date date like i just like to flirt i don't like i didn't know i was you know she's sort of being like you know and like i like veil and i think she's smart but this whole like you know i'm just like i like to flirt it's sort of i don't love that i that's sort of i don't like when people are like that because i don't think it's a great quality to be a flirt right i think it's actually not great and at one point well she's also just not she doesn't have like an age appropriate personality she's at that age in la where it's time to become a woman already you know or a man frankly i mean la is like peter you know it's neverland and no one ever grows up here but um i get that but she's trying a little too hard to be one of the 20 year olds and she's just not you know it's like

watching jessica tandy try and say like a lot the ghost of jessica tandy she can come back with greg plitt and they could have like a like a special romantic comedy. On the train. Yeah. It'll be like that scene in Ghost Dad where Ghost Bill Cosby has a train go through him. It'll be like Ghost Greg Platt. So stupid. With Ghost Jessica Tandy.

Huck! He's like, finally I can finish my commercial it's like a little protein shake in there um so the thing with bail is that she was also like she's like you know i'm one of those girls who just likes to flirt a lot but i don't like to have sex and then she says about like her and jack she's like i mean i don't think anything happened between me and jacks but like i don't I mean, I don't think anything happened between me and Jax. But, like, I don't really remember. So, I don't know.

And then she's like, but, you know, blackouts are God's way of saying don't worry about it. I'm like, that is not a very smart way to live your life. Like when someone's 20, that's kind of cute. You're like, oh, they're going to learn one day. Yeah. But when you're 40 or whatever that's not cute anymore blacking out not good yeah and i think that like when you get a rash it's sort of god's way of saying like maybe you should think twice about those blackouts yeah i think maybe you

should worry about it i believe that god sees everything through our eyes and when you black out god is sick of looking at what you're making him look at yeah um that was deep you guys yeah it was super steep so um they all went on a date with peter and peter has no game and so we we wonder a lot on this show why doesn't peter ever get screen time is it his age is it what is it he's cute he seems nice he's a part of the group and this week we realized why because he's really boring and borderline um disgusto yeah and also i i i'm i'm not totally certain about this but i'm fairly sure that what he did constitute sexual harassment right like a man that's your boss your boss

taking you out on like asking you to coffee and then you get wine instead and try to like be romantic i think that's like straight up sexual harassment yeah well i think harassment is when you're like you better come out with me or i'm gonna fire you or if you're like hey but i guess even flirting at work can be sexual harassment right well but the thing is with sexual harassment he doesn't have even but the thing is with sexual harassment, he doesn't even have to make that threat because if the woman feels like if she doesn't go on the date that her job may be in peril,

then it's sexual harassment. Oh, please. They don't even have to wipe spots off glasses at that restaurant unless Mandy's there. No, I know. I know, I'm just saying. They don't think she should do shit at that restaurant. They'd rather even show up.

So, yeah, so that didn't go well. But let's see, the other thing was that Jax decided that he wanted to get back with Carmen. So he invited... Oh, Jax and his questioning himself. Okay, I get that they make you answer in a complete sentence, and that's how they make the testimonials, right? So if they say, Jax, how did you feel about carmen and he goes how do i feel about carmen i feel this way but every every time he says anything he's asking himself a question and it makes me crazy how do i do i am i mad that i lost carmen yes i love her you do not know what love is i'd love

her shut up jacks do i love her i do yeah i think every time he gets an itching sensation he's like oh that must be what love feels like i guess i'm in love it's like i hear that like love like when you're in love you feel like a a burning desire and i do feel some itching and burning so i think i'm pretty sure I'm in love. He's like, my penis leaks whenever I'm around her, so it must be love. Yeah. My pee is thick and green, so I think that's like love. I pissed out blood, which is the color of love. Yeah.

I grew some love bumps on my penis, and I think they're filled with love, so I'm in love, right? Oh, Jack Sony baloney. Yeah, so he calls Carmen. Why? I don't know. There's no explanation. Why does he call Carmen? I don't know. Well, because the producers probably told him to and also

at this point he's slept with every single woman in LA so there's no one left but Carmen. And then that girl who paid for his Vegas trip is gone now, right? I think so. So he takes her to the Sunset Grill which is this random little restaurant on Sunset Boulevard like three blocks from here that I've never seen a single person go to.

I don't even know how it's called. Me neither. I'm always wondering how that place stays open. Yeah, because it's like you order downstairs and you have to go up to this little terrace up top and I'm like, whoever goes there? It's like, oh, well how it's still there. Me neither. I'm always wondering how that place stays open. Yeah, because it's like you order downstairs and you have to go up to this little terrace up top. And I'm like, whoever goes there? I was like, oh, well, it's Jack's. And I loved also, he was like, well, he's like, because he's still, even though he got his surgery, he still was like, he's like, well, I really wanted to take Carmen there.

Because, you know, things just ended so badly last time, you know. There was like, it got heated and and we were at a pizza place. It ended over pizza. I'm like, yeah, you idiot. You're the one who took her there. You're the one who said this whole thing. You're going to take her to a pizza place because it's more casual, and you don't want to spend money on breaking up with her. Yeah.

Poor Jax. Not poor Carmen, but oh, Carmen. Because you see in her face that she's totally going back with him whenever he wants yeah cute little penguin face yeah she's like those penguins in uh what what was that movie was it was it like there's so many penguins in movies now was it madagascar some like kids and their penguins it's getting their bang with that i think it's lazy animators because you don't have to do that much. You just have to make them go back and forth. You don't have to actually do a walk cycle, which I'm totally learning right now. Or was it Finding Nemo?

Was it Seagulls or Penguins? It was that one where I think you're talking about that one where it's about global warming at the end. They all have to escape because the icebergs are melting or some shit happy feet yes happy feet oh my god i saw that in texas and nobody there believes in global warming and people were pissed at the end of that movie like i brought my kid to this this trap i think that she's more like the seagulls in in finding nemo that go me me me right that's not what the seagulls say hey hey hey hey hey oh hey that's what i feel like she's like say hey i think so mine no they say mine mine mine mine mine that's what i feel like because that's sort of what i feel like carmen's like she sort of has that like the boppy seagull thing where she goes

back and forth and then like she sort of has like a cute seagull face and then um i kind of feel like everything she says is mine mine mine mine like is jack's mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine what is happening to jack's face it's happening slow it happened fast at the beginning of the season right it was a totally different face but now it's morphing into he he because they like i noticed that too this this episode i think they did some like um some pickup shots and so they were shot like they probably interviewed him more recently and he is i mean he is puffing up i mean this guy is he is saying goodbye to his model modeling career but it's not fat because it's on his face like if it was on his neck, okay.

But his neck's getting big, too. Everything's getting big. Like, he is... He's still, like, you know, buff and decently attractive. But, like, he is... He is no longer toned, really. He is really...

He's got... When they show those flashbacks to season one, you see he's really lost, like, a lot of those looks and gained a lot of weight. Well, I'm going to where every person who cares about real facts goes to, to see who's getting fat. And that is Instagram.

I'm going to Jack's Instagram. Okay, the first picture on here is a picture of a toilet with a light in it. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, someone tweeted that at us and was like... He's not getting fat, I'm telling you. And the quote is how cool is this new glow-in-the-dark toilet locator strip thank you so much i love it you

know what's another great way to locate your toilet turn on the lights yeah or like aim your penis at something other than just like nothing letting your penis flow all over yeah uh you know his boyfriend is really cute horse face number two like he is adorable i get that he has panic attacks at work and that he's a commitment phobe and that he tries to make up with people by throwing water in their face at parties but he's really cute he's cute but he doesn't really do much for me um i like him i like a good bottom oh this toilet how cool is it the new glow-in-the-dark toilet locate oh he's the worst he doesn't look like he's getting fat but he is using a picture from when he was

20 years old as his main uh profile picture he has 203 000 followers holy mcgoley mother of macaroni and cheese y'all i'm gonna go on i'm going on his instagram now also because they're really you. I will say that two days ago he was wearing the same shirt as he was 14 hours ago. Which doesn't surprise me. And it looks like he has the same pomade in his hair.

The thing with Jax is he knows how to get a good angle on himself when he takes a picture. So that's why he tends to look so good. Chin down, darling. Chin down. Chin down. So it looks like the only one he's really hanging out with. Chin down, darling. Chin down. Chin down. So it looks like the only one he's really hanging out with now is Horseface No. 2's boyfriend. adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she

has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex

collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey.

And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more.

She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early

and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. When you say what's happening to him, he's just gaining weight. I'm looking at the one from five days ago when he was like... Happy birthday? Yeah, half the crew is at the table. We are missing a few, but hey, happy birthday. Happy birthday at Music Kills Kate. Wow.

She must have listened to a Sheena album. Now, I will say in this picture, actually, Katie looks very good. Jax definitely is fat um sheena you know sheena oh i like this one anyone anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend that's funny oh here's one from him at a gifting suite for the golden globes which is hilarious that he's even associated with golden globes and he says at pilot pen usa hashtag Golden Globes, thank you guys for my amazing pen set.

I'm just imagining Jack writing letters at his desk. Dear son, dear Abigail, life in Los Angeles has been difficult, but I will send you rations for the children back at home. I don't know why I made him

from the Revolutionary War. Because that's when people used pins last. Yeah. Unless it's time to pay the rent. Here's one of them getting his, oh shit, he's getting his haircut. He gets his haircut at Shorty's.

That's just down the street from you. Shorty's. I used to get my haircut there, but they started charging way too much for a simple fade. I laugh at simple place because i love that the old barber shop has come back where people are like yeah man it's a barber shop like you come in and then you get your haircut yeah we know okay we know and super cuts does it for ten dollars yeah so i go to uh i go to legends on fairfax now legends i'm the only

white guy in there um that's a pretty cute place get a good fade i like those guys you mean on lower fairfax by uh cancers yeah oh those guys are so nice yeah all the guys who work there they're really nice they're all good tippers too yeah i uh everyone oh yeah that's right because he used to work down there um burdo is the guy if anyone goes to legends see burdo he's great um yeah those guys are really nice um okay we're getting sidetracked vanderpump drools okay so what's happened on this okay so the other thing is because the reason why jack's by the way was was uh speaking to carmen was because they're both gonna be sitting next to each other for stassi and for sheena's uh

wedding and so jack's like let's go as a date and and then carmen was like no i don't think so and secretly inside she was like yay mine she says with like a little sly smile she's like we're not going together but we're sitting next to each other so i guess i'll see you there yeah he's like i've got a cabin and she's like so so a big thing um to a big thing for this episode was the the fight between katie and stassi you know because stassi is mad that katie went to sheena's bachelorette party and that stassi had to find out through sheena of all people you know like this is like the biggest defense in the world so the best part is is... Okay, first of all, that stupid Christina girl. I was about to say, Christina's running interference,

which I think is great. She's so annoying. Well, what I love is that, like, Christina... Because at one point, Katie asks Christina, like, how's Stassi? And Christina's like, she's pretty upset. As of right now, obviously, your friendship is over. I'm like, obviously.

I mean, you know, like, your friendship is over. Obviously. Clearly, this is the death knell of a friendship because she went to Miami. I just love that Christina delighted so much in saying that obviously it was over. Yeah, her spokesperson, Christina, the worst.

Yeah. So, Stassi, the best thing about about this let's just get to it is that katie confronts stassi and basically tells her to fuck off and she doesn't have to kiss her ass if she wants to go out of town she can and stassi did not even know how to react that's that's the uh typical punching the bully back and then watching him start sobbing yeah like he's the victim kate did a good job katie has had three years of like crumbling under stassi's rule and this time katie was like fuck you this isn't all about you stassi and stassi starts to cry yeah uh and then stassi had nothing to say after that because really her i think she just saw her career die

because if she has no control over anybody but Christina, Christina's not even a cast member, barely. Yeah, exactly. She's never going to be a cast member. She's so sad. If the most exciting thing that happens in your storyline is that you drop Christina off a block away from Sir, then you're on your way out, Stassi. And steal to-go food. Yeah. Sad, man.

Actually, one thing I loved was that stassi at one point was talking about how like her new thing is that she is like a jewelry designer and she starts talking about how she loves designing statement necklaces and that they're her favorite and that they are so great and that like when you wear them people are staring at that instead of your boobs meanwhile she says this entire thing without wearing one of her statement necklaces her neck was completely bare i was like that's good branding right there stassi you're having a her statement necklaces her neck was completely bare i was like that's good branding right there sassy you're having a great necklace is look like when you go to michael's and buy those big foam balls and spray paint them and like paste them together to make things but yes i used to do as a child right i was very artistic her statement necklace

looks like a garnish that like fell off of some strange drag queen in Rio as she picked up off the sidewalk and strapped around her neck. I also loved how she was like, you know, everyone thinks that I just went to New York to follow my boyfriend and I'm just living off my parents. But no, I'm making jewelry. And by the way,

no offense to the jewelry makers out there, but here in LA, there are so many girls who have nothing going on in their lives so they say that they're making jewelry you know and they do like get a get a pair of wire cutters and some stupid fucking rose quartz from the farmer's market and you're in yeah it's so ridiculous um but uh no Stassi is... She's done. She's done. Stassi's goose is cooked.

That's for sure. Bye. And, you know, and this is, by the way, this is a pattern of every season. At one point every season, Stassi pisses off everyone, and then she starts hanging out with people who are, like, not the cast members.

And then she's like, I just like hanging out with these people. It's just, like, such a breath of fresh air. They're just, like, cool. They just, like, get me they just like get me and then like three quarters way into the season like all her friends like apologize and then she drops all the people who aren't real cast members yep the bus the bus boy parole uh the bus boy parole what am i saying the bus boy with the baby yeah yeah remember season one she went skinny dipping with him she's like these are my real friends these are the ones i'm glad yeah she's like you know what the why be friends with bitches when i can be friends with people who bring you water that's really important

in a friendship who does that who does that yes katie was like fuck you i'm not taking your shit anymore and then left her there presumably to pay the bill, which was even better. Yeah, exactly. So I'm still no fan of horse face Katie. I think she's an a-hole. But that was really fun to watch and good for her. It was. And I hope I can stop watching fucking Stassi now. She's the worst.

Yeah, she's doing... I mean, she has no story. She does nothing. And she just hides behind this thing of, like, I'm so over it. Like, I hate every single person in Sir. Anyway, let me drop you off at Sir and can you get me a to-go box? Thanks. And I'll sit out here with a camera girl.

Yeah. Thanks. Thanks so much. Another thing that I'm loving about Vanderpoop Drools is that Lisa is obviously poking at Brandy at this point. Yeah. From her different show. She's like, I'm not best friends with sheena darling she's my employee and then it's like oh lisa just upgraded us to the presidential suite yeah she comes back and thanks

lisa and lisa's like of course darling your wedding is so important to me i'm so glad that katie went i told her it's extremely important to me she's like like, yeah, love it. She's like, because after all, we are such dear friends. As one of my best friends, darling. I did this for you. Yes. One of my best friends, more so than anyone else I may have,

maybe have friendships with on other TV shows, et cetera. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Okay, let's move on to Atlanta,anta shall we yeah let's do atlanta atlanta beans what do you have okay my first thought was and i've said this i say this every week now basically about atlanta but the editors on this show are so funny basically it's like why be so nasty and rude when i can no it's like last week on real housewives of atlanta y'all clit has left the building whore why be so nasty and so mean yeah they cut it together of meanie being a total asshole and then right into why be so nasty and so mean and every week i laugh like it's the first time

they did they've done it yeah i this you know this season is really hilarious and i love that we got like another five extra minutes of claudia totally reading annihilating nini Destroying her So good And Nini had nothing She had no comebacks at all Except horrible horrible things Like just things that didn't even make sense Like she's like okay Bob She's like what's wrong with a Bob Nothing

And then she eats a bite of food And then Claudia's like well at least I don't have a hair hat And I like lost it I was like I mean I like't have a hair hat. And I lost it. I was like... It was a spit take for me. I also love on this show how nobody will let anything affect

their food. On Beverly Hills, you never see them actually eat. They go to dinner all the time, but no one eats anything. But on this show, these girls are fighting and Candy's sitting there with macaroni salad, chewing and laughing while she eats. Candy's got the right idea. I could go for some macaroni salad right now.

Candy and Portia just keep eating while they watch. So fucking funny. I was going to re-watch that fight at the beginning of the episode again, like I watched the other one like twice last week. But I just ran out of time and i'm so mad because i was gonna watch it again and write down my favorite lines from it all i could remember was claudia calling me like hair hat well the other one was something like meanie saying oh spaghetti strap whore or something about her dress oh yeah and then claudia's like you need to stay away from spaghetti all together yes yeah that was great you need to stay away from spaghetti altogether yes yeah that was great you need to stay away

from spaghetti you need to keep the spaghetti out of your diet oh my god and then nini was like talking about like uh she's talking about like what like the things that she was wearing right she's like this is designer or whatever and claudia was like i don't remember what class there's something like you know you're doing the designers wrong or something like that you gotta stay out of those clothes or like oh she said something like oh i've seen that at ross i think she said i've seen that at ross it was and then she said like she said like three or four other things because at one point candy said she's like see nah claudia said everything that we've wanted to say to nini for like years see roly yeah seeing someone just tell nini off like that i mean the

last person i've ever seen i mean besides people who are obviously like marlo or people who are just trying to get attention uh was shiree yeah shiree was still the best when she followed nini out of that restaurant screaming about her fake teeth and her repossessed car that was still the best ever but this is definitely right up there and this was amazing and to see someone so much younger who doesn't even give a crap yeah um makes it kind of better i think you're right because normally people are like oh my god you have to kiss nini's ass or you're off the show yeah and this girl's like nope yeah i mean, I mean, Nini had nothing. I mean, she couldn't do anything. She had no comebacks.

Again, it was the spaghetti straps and the bob. And then she was just putting on that Sarah Puss face of hers. Isn't that your clit has left a building thing, which makes no sense? Yeah. I don't know what that means. Can you overuse a clit? I guess I don't really understand what a clit does. It's not like Mr. Potato Head where you can just attach it on with a peg, you know? I just keep thinking of clit.

So every time she says clit, I think of a chip clit. And I wonder how that works. I don't know. I think Nini is done. And then, you know, on top of that, Nini has the nerve the next day to be laughing it all up about it. And then she turns to Phaedra. She's like, but you know, you were pretty shady after all. I'm like, well, Nini, where was that last night?

Like, why didn't you say that last night and avoid this entire conflict? And I know I know it. Then we wouldn't have a show. But still, it's like, you're so ridiculous, Nini. She did it because she lost. So she woke up the next day, knew she lost, and was like, you know, i never want to hurt anybody's feelings i mean i didn't want to have any kind of fight yeah you stupid hoe and the other one who lost was uh shady fady yeah because she too was like i don't want to have any conflict with people i mean those

bitches woke up like uh-oh yeah we lost yeah it's over and i mean our click is there like they looked around and realized that their click was a whore portia yeah who's probably gonna get fired in about five minutes and candy who's on her cell phone the whole time trying to rewrite her show about her mother yeah and candy is candy's neutral anyway and they all acknowledge that you know it's like you, Candy just enjoys it all. Whatever group she's sitting with, she's just going to sit there and chuckle. Yeah, so it's basically Phaedra and Nini against the world. And then the world is four really good-looking younger women.

Yeah, exactly. You know, who are obviously taking over the show. So I think they were like, yeah, I think it's time to apologize. So then they get in this big van and Nene does somewhat apologize. No, she doesn't apologize. I mean, for Nene. It wasn't like a real apology. It was like one of those things where it was an apology in name only.

So she was like, I do regret some of the things I said. She's like, I do regret some of the things I said. And since there was some question about, like, you know, what my – what they kept on saying, take away my accolades or take away my accomplishments or something like that. She's like, to show you – It was something like accolades. She was like – It was some terrible – it was – I mean, the English on last night's show or this week's show was i think she was uh no accumulation accomplishments or something it was some word but she was like she was like um she's like yes my show did get canceled but i uh i am now gonna be my accolades accolades and she's like

but i will be in cinderella and i'm gonna give each one of you a ticket to see me i was like so passive-aggressive it was like she starts snapping and she's hiding under the guise of like you know because the sister's doing her work you know like like a sister's getting out there earning her money like no this is just your way of bragging you know um i wouldn't take away your your accolades just like none of you would take away the fact that i'm gonna be on broadway shut up and then claudia's like but you did take away take them away and you did make fun of me and i and the rest of you too and i don't appreciate the way that blah blah blah claudia just said she's like i don't appreciate being called a whore when porsche we all know

that the man you're sleeping with is the one who bought you all that. Some married African. And Portia's like, you don't know nothing. I got a hair company. Yeah, I got an online company on the internet called www.portiahair.com. Okay? And you don't know where my money come from. What did she say to her? What was her word? She said, you're a contradictory you're a contradictory you're a contradictory

and claudia's just like you're you're trying to use words that are too big for you she's like she's like but you just said don't take away accolades you just said that accolades accolades oh my god it's like accolades that you accumulate accolades claudia just totally thriving in your acura claudia just destroyed everyone like she just she just. She just won. She just won hands down. And you can see because you look on social media and, you know, like, quote, unquote, black Twitter, as they say. If you look, all these memes are out there right now. Oh, my God. What is black Twitter?

I want that. Is that what they're saying? No, black Twitter is just like the – it's just Twitter. But it's like when people say if you look on black twitter it's like look at basically like look at what the black people are saying i think i mean i hope i don't get that wrong but it's basically you know like it's like it's sort of kind of as an what i take it to be as like an umbrella term for like also instagram and things like that and so when you see a lot of memes you know like the kermit the frog meme you know like like but

that's just me or whatever like that comes sort of like from the world of black twitter so like you know there's like a lot of like these memes going around of like nini with like ramen on her head and like oh my god those are so funny there's so many on our facebook page yeah um who posted this today paula jones i think posted one saying nini's wig truck uh crashed today and a ramen truck crashed like a ramen ramen all over the street that's just hilarious yeah by the way from wikipedia black twitter is a cultural identity on the twitter social network focused on issues of interest to the black community particularly in the united states so there um but uh uh yeah there was someone posted one of like of like ramen over anini's head and like

the the letters the words were basically like and so we all whatever i'm messing it up never mind it's not gonna be funny it just sounds so. Well, I'm checking in on our Facebook because I mentioned it. And there's someone hot, Ben. Hot black man alert for Ben named Ryan Hyams. You met Ryan. You know Ryan. I do? He's hot.

I would have remembered him. Remember Ryan the tall, muscly guy? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. From the Abbey? Oh, my God. That guy is hot. He looks shorter on Facebook. He's a lovely gentleman.

And Ryan, if you're listening, hello. Hi, you're hot. He wrote, NeNe, I can glue my hair to my forehead. Girl, I got all kind of cars right now. I don't care what was repossessed. You just check my crib, bitch, and see the cars in my garage, and you lift the goddamn garage up.

Don't tell me what has been. Tell me what's now. Oh my god. Ryan is, I'll tell you one thing ryan is always good for some like real housewives of atlanta you know shit like that you know he knows what's up nini was like that i love that don't talk about the past talk about i did say i was a stripper and i liked it what do you want me to say oh um atlanta was awesome okay what else happened because i don't even remember what else happened on well so once again so once again they pretty much all missed demetria's little performance you know they like showed up for the last five minutes of it so once again you know you said that demetria's like lady edith on down abbey like nothing good ever happens to

her once again they like they roll into her performance for her. Just you're like, oh, thank you very much. It was over. Yeah. Yeah. They got there just in time for the end. And somebody I think somebody on our Facebook again was like that dress was from Target. I own it.

Poor thing. And then their their terrible apology too that was so funny she came by to say hi to phedra and she's like phedra you know that wasn't nice it's stuff i said about you i really apologize and phedra's like okay thanks phedra can't even say she's sorry but also how can you come say sorry like so and be so nice when just a second ago you were yelling about how her husband's going to prison and let's not i don't know i think these women are very forgiving and i know that sounds silly to say but if anybody talked to me like half of these women talk to each other i would be so horrified i'd be hiding in my house.

Well, the truth is that they're all like animals. They're just like crazy, awful people. Yeah. That's what it takes to be on the show. Bye. Girl, bye. Girl, bye. Girl, bye.

So that show is done for now, right? Was there anything else? Nothing that I can really remember, to be honest. That was the main thing. That was a fun show. My God, that show's been so, to be honest. That was the main thing. Oh, my God. That show's been so, so good. It was. Yeah, last week we spent a lot of time on Atlanta.

So this week I don't have as much to say. However, if you are a subscriber and you get the ringers, there's a whole month dedicated to Atlanta. It's Candy squeaking, Portia trying to talk english um claudia talking about how she loves shoes but she's not gonna put miles on her vagina to get them so go check those out on patreon.com slash what happens yeah absolutely let's move on to um well we're kind of done but a new housewives show has come on across the pond and it's called the real housewives of cheshire yeah and even though i'm saying that with an australian accent i no likey this no i do not like them and i watched the first one i watched the first one at three in the

morning really drunk while i was eating cereal and i thought maybe it would be funny but they're really low energy they talk like that and their opening lines are like i'm a fun girl who likes chocolate and men and i'm rich and also gorgeous and this is how i feel about the sun like they're these long paragraph monologues one of this one of the girls said I like coffee chocolate and men all rich especially like my husband

like oh god and it's the same storylines there's someone who boxes like Adrienne and there's someone you know like an independent business woman and then it starts with a woman having a ball and someone doesn't want to pay for tickets to the ball. I'm like, I'm yawn. Yawn.

Can't take it. Don't care. It sucks not watching it. What do you think? Yeah, I was going to watch it. And first of all, I had a very hard time even finding it. Like I was like looking all over. I went to Delish Shows, as you you said last week and it wasn't there and or at least there wasn't a link to watching online and then by the time i finally was able to find the link someone

posted on our page um i was going to watch it this morning i was going to wake up early and watch an episode um but guess what i set my alarm but i forgot to actually turn the alarm clock on and i woke up at 9 30 and then i had to be somewhere at like 10 so apologies likely story ben i know but you know what we can also talk about real quickly as top chef boring i like it i i like it i mean it's not as good as new orleans but i like it boring this season i cannot take that show this season and i love top chef love it are you gonna watch tom clickio's new show i think it actually airs tonight the best new restaurant restaurant oh it starts tonight god i'm really sucking at my job right now nothing is covered we're not

don't worry it's just it's just a podcast um that show okay i watched the british version the gordon ramsay's best restaurant and it's really good how does it work one season how does it work well on his on that show it was uh people nominate the best restaurants and then they pick the ones they have a staff that goes out and eats all of them and picks like the top 20 or something and then gordon ramsay puts two of them against each other each episode and one wins and then at the end you know there's like a semi-finals and a final and then the one i saw it was between these um gastro modern chefs who did like weird like pig liver frozen in olive juice topped with frog butt or whatever and then it was this like older indian lady and her daughter who just made really good indian food and he ended up picking the like kids which

was weird but it was so good and so beautiful and i cried a lot and in the british versions of shows gordon ramsay's not a prick like he's actually nice yeah and um really charming and he's actually there to help people instead of just abuse them so it was really good and i'm hoping they don't ruin it because tom calicchio is not nice and i love tom though gordon ramsay's not nice in america so i'm part of the fun of it was that it was nice. And they're, like, complimenting people. Because even if you don't win, you're not being ripped apart because you're still one of the best restaurants in the world or in the country. Yeah.

Well, I don't think it's going to be nasty. I think, you know, Tom Cliccio, he's kind of like a dick, but he's not, like, outwardly, like, nasty. And I don't get the sense that Gordon Ramsay's even going's even even gonna be on camera they just said he was producing it so oh yeah he's i mean how many shows can the fucking guy do he's in like 20 shows a year i know it's insane so yeah i'll watch that one but top chef first of all they had a they had an episode where no one gets eliminated. Why? Yeah. Well, because the parents came and their family came and that one Asian girl's mom was so cute.

They still eliminate people on other seasons when their family's there. But this time the family members had to create, like, a dish. And so I think it would have been too mean to, like, eliminate someone based on, like, someone who's totally inept in the kitchen. You know, like, That's not really fair. I backed that they didn't eliminate anyone. I was okay with it. I am an apologist for Top Chef, so don't mind me.

To me, nothing happens on that show and it's not... Again, I say this all the time. If they were at least showing them cooking, I could be into it. But at this point, it's just a bunch of coughing i know it's been three weeks now and i feel good but i still have that lingering take honestly take robitussin um lingering cough it's really good is that a thing yeah you can get it at rock and roll ralph's lingering cough it's called because because i my coughs linger

like crazy it's like the cranberries up in here all they do is linger and uh it has cut down the time of the lingering quite a bit for me in the past i don't even understand what's happening to me i quit smoking three years ago i should be healthy no that's not helping are you taking any sort of cough syrup well i did but i but I was taking cold medicine and cough syrup for two weeks, and now I actually feel better. I don't feel sick at all. Yeah, take the lingering cough, because what it does is it means you'll cough less, and that way you'll do less damage.

Not damage. Damage sounds too severe. No, it's true. It does damage you. I think that's why I'm still coughing. Yeah, the more you cough, the more you irritate your lungs, and the more you irritate more you cough the more you like I think that's why I'm still coughing yeah the more you cough the more you irritate your lungs and the more you irritate your lungs

the more you have to cough so like it kills that cycle a little bit and it also according to my doctor because I had a really bad lingering cough last year or two years ago

it also helps break up some of the mucus that's in there so I'm telling you Robitussin lingering cough okay

I'll do it I'll do it not even paying for that that was a free spot for robotussin because lord knows robotussin needs the money right oh my god you sound like Geraldo on celebrity apprentice he's like oh this is full of nuts owes me big i mean I normally get paid a ton of money for these endorsements the most recognizable voice in the country oh he is so fucking arrogant oh i love the one where he he's like insisting on taking selfies of him shirtless oh god he's a gem he is a gem that show why does it need to be two hours a week it's

killing me we didn't we barely even talked about it i know what am i watching and i'm only watching it for this stupid podcast we didn't even talk about it we talked about it a little bit we talked about it way back like 10 hours ago when this podcast started so um that's it eh i think that's it i was gonna talk about like some of the other stuff but i suddenly have to go to the bathroom very badly so i'm like like, I would like to apologize to people. I think we owe people an apology because we were like, watch Cheshire. You have to watch Real Housewives of Cheshire.

And then it's terrible. And I'm not going to, I don't want to cover that. I've had enough. Also, the Shaws are coming back. Yeah. In March,

Shaws are coming back in March. We saw our first commercial again, since the, Melbourne is coming back. I think this week or next week. Are we going to watch Melbourne while it's on or are we going to do it? Wait, Melbourne is coming back on Bravo? I mean I know it's back in Australia, but I didn't know they were airing it on Bravo already. I don't know actually, Ben.

I guess we should just bring that back when they start airing it on Bravo. Let's just do that when it's on Bravo so that way more people can watch it with us. And then Southern Charm is coming back. Oh, yeah. Okay. So we don't need another Housewives show. We're going to be just fine here on this podcast. Yeah.

Yeah. We'll get through it together. Oh. Okay, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. And thanks for all your support on Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens. Find our social media links at watch what crap ends dot com find Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

recaps on Trash Talk TV by me and find Ben's other podcast the Banta Blinta by searching on Twitter I mean Black Twitter I've got Black Twitter in my head right your podcast probably does show up on Black Twitter actually

but yeah search for it on Stitcher, iTunes, all the good podcast places. And thank you to everybody on our Facebook page for being hilarious. It was another fun show of reading all your comments and stealing them. And hopefully we'll see some of you on The Hangout tomorrow night or Thursday, I should say, because you don't know when we're listening to it. Yeah. Thursday, the 22nd, 6 p.m. Pacific. Google Hangout. Details will be on Facebook to it. Yeah. Thursday the 22nd, 6 p.m. Pacific. Google Hangout. Details will be on Facebook and Patreon.

Yeah. And that's it. Love you guys. Have a good one. Bye. Bye. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet.

The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore.

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