Watch What Crappens - #1670 PumpRules: Fools of Engagement

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* Brock and Scheana take mooching to a new height on this week's Vanderpump Rules when James and Raquel invite the gang to their engagement party weekend at a gorgeous winery. One thing Brock did not chintz out on in this episode? Balloons. Lots and lots of balloons. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens, and for those of you who can't make the 2022 Golden Crappies Awards in-person this year, experience it live digitally from the comfort of your own home at momenthouse.com/wwcSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm a little bit nervous. I can't just walk. I can't spend this so much that's happened. I can't. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Heel Brahves.

Okay, hi, I'm Ronnie. Guess what I'm with. It's name is Ben. Ben, get over here, Ben. There he is, I've been. Hi. Hi, everybody. Welcome to Watch What Crappin'

It's a podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on the Yule Braves. It is a crap and it's on demand day, so we are on video. Hi, licking beautiful Ben Shave and I'm not. I just grabbed this shirt out of the dryer and it's pretty obvious. Okay, this is my sedom when he was found in the whole shirt.

So I don't know why insist on on wearing every time we're on video. But it's clean. It's clean. You just take it out of the dryer. I'm not just dry, I'm not clean. I don't know, but I think I'm assuming it's clean. I made that mistake before. So everybody, welcome to the show where super excited because in a couple of weeks we start our 10th anniversary

Hunky Dory to across America. We are really excited. I'm just excited to get back out of the house. I mean, I really haven't left much since COVID started. So it's like a whole new world out there for me people. Okay, probably. I know, I'm so excited. I'm excited to see all the, you know,

we always have like, there are people that we always see when we do our shows. I'm excited to see some friendly faces, excited to see new faces. Excited to just see any face to be honest. There's a bomb down for all the faces. No, you're most of all. I haven't seen you in person in two years, Ronnie. So we will be starting in New York City on January 27th for the Golden Crapie Awards at Town Hall that shows almost sold out so close, just sell it out already.

K people go sell it out. That was going to be super fun. That's going to kick us off. We're going to be in Jersey the next night as Worry Park, which is sold out. And then we're going to be in Boston the next night at the Wilbur Theatre, which is a great big theater. We're so excited. That's a Sunday show. So it has

some more tickets left. So go get some. Then we're going to Atlanta. This is all in February. Okay. In February, we're going to Atlanta, Nashville, Orlando, San Diego, and gonna end February in Los Angeles. Yeah, for a big show. Although shows are gonna be really cool. There's a whole list. Milwaukee, Chicago, St. Paul, Philadelphia, Washington, Pittsburgh, Denver, San Francisco, Yeah, for a big show. All those shows are going to be really cool. There's a whole list. Milwaukee, Chicago, St. Paul, Philadelphia, Washington, Pittsburgh, Denver, San Francisco, Detroit, Columbus, Cleveland, Houston, Dallas, just go to watch what crap ends. Click live shows and there's links for all of these theaters there. So go do that.

Also, if you cannot make the New York show at Town Hall, we will be having a digital moment experience with Moan House. They have offered to come stream the show live, which we're super excited about. So you can buy tickets for that also at watchwotcraftens.com. Yeah, lots of really exciting things going on. We have new merch too, which you should check out, some new leggings. And I want to give a shout out because we always forget to do this.

And I think it's like really important to do it that we have some new premium sponsors. So when that part rolls on the episode, definitely give a listen because we are really appreciative of our premium and super premium sponsors. So thank you to those who have signed up. It's really, really cool. Marie, thank you. And today we're here with Vanda Pumper rules between a broke and a hard place.

It's wrong between a broken hard place. Now, first of all, I feel like something that really needs to be discussed. I don't think I really noticed it, but this episode I felt like it was pretty undeniable. Brock's beauty is spectacular. Good for you Brock. You know, at the end of the day, you have nice booties. Hey, there's some world up guys like Rachel.

You can get through life like this. Okay. The bootie is one of us. Yes. It's a fun ASIC. We're on it. So, we are getting ready for James and Rekel's engagement party, which is going to start today on the show.

So, did we mention the green card thing last week, was she not having that discussion with Charlie? We're Charlie's like, he's not just marrying you for the green card, right? And she's just eating your salad. Like, of course, man, I mean, he's kind of got a green card, but that's not the reason. It's just like something he got something marries me.

I mean, he's going to get all sorts of cards. You know, people like write the nicest things you get married because like sometimes like, like Aunt Dee, she likes to do a card that's in the shape of a halter top. And then some people just like a shoebox greeting, like so be green, purple, red, white, so many different cars.

So Tom and Arianna, we start with them, and they're talking about how they're about to go to this photo shoot to support Brock, because this is a major, all of Brock's mooching is coming together in this episode. We have his home body where he's trying to get James to put it on his Insta. And then we've got the engagement where he's going to try and steal James engagement party

to Mary Sheena in secret. Yeah, this is like all the mouche plans are converging in this moment for all of America. So yeah, so Sandivall is he's talking with Arianna talking about how he's gonna use all his like classic modeling moves at the photo shoot and then we go over to Sheena's house and Brock is like babe we get to do him body today you excited babe and she's like yeah I mean I was like I can fit in the clothing and like also like there's like some glam I got to have some glam here we've got three claim teams here we want to spend too much on that. That's for sure.

Okay, is glam team and other words for school and diapers for your other children? Because that's the only way this would be okay. Yeah, he's not good with money. That's for sure. So then we go over to James and he's working out in his apartment He's sort of been doing this low key all season. He always has like one done And he's working out and Raquel is packing for Santa Ness because they're going up a little earlier and she's saying like We got to go earlier. We we gotta get a COVID test,

cause the whole family's coming in, all our friends, we even have grandma buttons, and I don't wanna take any chances of the grandma buttons getting sick. Have we met grandma buttons before? I feel like I would remember someone named grandma buttons. We have not met grandma buttons, but it's one of those like, you know,

she's instant, like you can't kill grandma buttons. Like she's instantly iconic. As I would say, because her name is buttons. Yeah. Like grandma zippers is probably a real bitch. She's probably from the board. But grandma buttons, everybody loves grandma zippers. Like, well, excuse me for being more convenient

and easier to slip on. That's sorry. Like she definitely sounds like a character in some sort of like murder mystery, right? And then there's grandma buttons, no one's suspect her. Yes. You're like, oh, there's no one really named grandma buttons. Grandma Sippers like, well, I guess I'll be getting COVID then.

Nobody gives a shit about me. There a grandma zipper. Could you be the one that actually hugs everybody as thick as that? Don't bother wearing a mask. Well, grandma, grandma's zipper is like, well don't bother wearing a mask. So deals. Well, grandma, grandma's hitters like, well, I'm telling my daughters, toggle, not to expect much from this.

Oh, you talked about aunt toggle? Yeah. Didn't even give her a seat at the table versus. Demolishable. I don't even wanna see drawstring. All right, you better keep her the fuck out of my face. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, keep your the fuck out of my face. Haha. Oh my god, Antelastic.

She didn't even have RCP. Oh my god, and your ant velcro. Cont that alcoholic. Man, her dad ball was fun to watch. Wasn't it kids? I may have reached the limit of my fasteners, not like I was. There's always that like hook thing that goes nothing. Just don't let just don't let your anti snaps give a speech.

Okay, she never shuts up. There you go. Well, yeah, because like we have a lot of money on the line for this, we don't want to kill grandma buttons. And I like that that's what reality shows have started to do now where they, they still have a big blowout party. They just talk about how safe they are for five minutes

so they don't get attacked on the insta, okay? On the gram. Yeah. So, Rickel, James is like, hopefully she doesn't die then. She's like, yeah, hopefully. So, he's talking about how a couple of years ago, the first time my mom met Rick Hel's mom,

I mean, that was Thanksgiving, and my mom got drunk and was yelling and just being, you know, extra. And it ruined the first impression. Like, wow, actually, it's set the other mother up quite nicely for what she was about to get. I would do wish we had Bravo cameras there because we all know what that Thanksgiving was probably like with James. I mean, James's family is such a disaster.

Oh my goodness. And especially when on Greenroom, you were telling us about how at the latest hot, I gathering one of the things that precipitated the breakup between Rick Helens James was that James started screaming at Rick Helens' father because of the shoes because he wasn't wearing the shoes that Rick Helens' father had bought. Right, so we lost it with the dance. They just do not have a good Thanksgiving record. The scuffle.

It always comes to play Thanksgiving. It's a tough time of the year. So, yeah, James is really excited to see the moms finally getting along together. And, no, and now he's just really hoping that they can all press the reset button. I'm like, you've hit that reset button many, many times. Like, if that thing is worn down and full of finger grease at this point, it is not working anymore. And so Rick has like, I'm not as worried about that as I am the situation

between you and Brock. And he's like, oh, lame of thrones over there. Listen, I'm sorry, I don't need to be getting vibes from Brock, all right? He was cleanless. And that's how I look at Brock. Just big and clueless dumb.

I was like, okay, you're not wrong, but you're also already off the rails. And you're just in your apartment. Okay, cracky comment. Yeah, you got to be on the rails. You got to be doing rails to go off the rails. So, um, yeah. So, uh, anyway, Rickel is like, well, he's coming from a good place, but his delivery is off his way off

Way off and off to deal with this with the engagement party listen I don't think it's fair for James to be mad about quote unquote bad delivery if that has been his excuse for the past five years on television Look, I really care about you. It's just that my delivery is bad You know I sometimes I just have bad delivery. You know, sometimes I've got anger issues, I've got bad delivery, but I do care about you. So like you've been doing the bad delivery thing for a long time, James. So like you're gonna have to just,

when you receive the bad delivery, you have to accept it. Your box is going to arrive dented and you are not allowed to. So if you don't wanna deal with it, your engagement party, why don't you call in? Or just don't have this party, by the way. It's costing a lot of money and you already have to manage this. I think this is a great thing.

Don't do it. I think the family is like, I think we're Kells family is probably like, listen, we want to throw you a really nice engagement party or something. Because I don't think, you know, a waitress in her 20s is going to be like, let's go blow 100 grand on an engagement party, you know, a waitress in her 20s is going to be like, let's go blow a hundred, a hundred grand on an engagement party, you know. So, um, what you already has, she's already $30,000 in the whole about her. Yes, that's true. So, Rickel's like, so I guess we're hoping for the best, but expecting for the worst, which should basically be the theme of this party, right? It's just be the theme of

this marriage. Like that should be in your vows. It's also just sort of how we approach Phantom of Rules. Now it is the preacher and now hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. I present Mr and Mrs. Kennedy. So now, Trixi was really on one today. I was like at the beginning of the episode, I was like, you know, I'm not going to write down every single Trixie song because I just don't have the energy. But she was so on it, I kind of had to. So we get this song. This song goes.

Let's get it started. Let's get it popping. Let's get it going. Oh, oh, oh. No, Trixie, we don't want just one line. So pick a theme and just come up with multiple variations. All right. Let's get it started. Let's get it popping. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Let's get what let's get you called to order to like okay, Trixie. We'll take the first three We'll just take the first three Let's get it the sign flippin from sorrows the yesterday open. Let's get it how many in your party To be seated

That's another getting it started Let's get it the next check out lane is available so Let's get it. The next checkout lane is available. So, Brock's is walk. This is Brock's home body party. Okay. So Brock is walking around looking and in the photographers pictures, you know, that they've got on their little viewer screen. And he's like, oh, I'm long. There's no background on that one. Well, what the fact did you expect? Okay, you're putting them in front of a blue screen. Okay. What did you expect someone to come in and build the set of cats? Look what the hell? So Brock finally gives us the true elevator pitch Which is a nice call back to Larsa Pip and he goes home body is like only fans before the health and fitness space

And this is the first visual impression you're gonna get from the company. So I can't afford to go out and get a DJ and pay for models. So who can't we just start a budget? But I can get no value from today. If I can get no value from today, I'll be able to take care of me family

and be put myself in a better position and pay off all of my debts. Yeah, I don't think Capital One is holding their breath. I'll just say that. Okay, so we go to area on in Tom. Only fans per fitness. By the way, I don't know if only fans.

First of all, every trainer has an Instagram with free content and a YouTube. So I don't know why I would pay unless they're like doing naked workouts, but I don't know why I would pay to have like little snippets of stuff on some sort of fitness-only pants. Yeah, I'm not sure what that is.

Like if you're hiring them for private time, you know, like if it's that part of OnlyFans, where you're like, maybe that's what I'm hiring, yeah, I'm hiring you for a personal session or something like that, maybe. I'm not really sure, but also OnlyFans, I know OnlyFans doesn't just do sexual content,

but the first thing that comes to people's minds is jerking off with only fans of sorry. We all know that that's the truth. So not really sure. It's like only I mean, most, but you can jick off to your trainer and then they show them oil, they show people oiling up this hot guy, you know, with a ripped body. He was hot. I was like, I would like some more screen time for him, please. Thank you. But yeah, I feel like only fans for fitness

is just only fans. Yeah, exactly. Also, does a peloton do something like that where they have different trainers that you can like hook up with your trainer or. Well, yeah, there's also a peloton. I mean, if not, I mean, well, you don't get like a personal training session of Peloton, but you can all, they have like literally thousands of classes in all these areas. So if you sign up for Peloton, you just have, you just can access classes on demand and they're like professional and professionally shot and they've got music. But then it's license.

Well, not license. Like if you're doing a photo shoot for your business, you want to promote things from your business, right? So you would get the, like the hot guy getting oiled up. You would say, okay, you, why don't you put like a snippet of your video, like, hey, you want me for an hour? Here's what you get or whatever and show him. Just show clips of that.

Why are you showing the cast of Vanderpump rules, like with balls on their toes? It's so weird. Like our people are going to think they're getting like Sina coming on to be like, all right, here's how we squat. Hey, yeah, I guess we'll just have to see how the home body goes. But, uh, yeah, yeah, I don't know. So I'll look for it on short tanks. So then we've got Arianna Tom and Gina, they're all getting their hair on makeup done. What the glam!

Ha ha ha! And Gina's looking through her phone. She's like, um, have you talked to her like, how are you, Emma? I'm just like, yeah, I texted her like, how you doing? Yeah, well, I texted her like seven times last night. She saw her as a mother to now. Well, I texted her like seven times last night. She solves her brother The man

What were those sex? Hi, and she know hi and Casey got my first one. She know just circling back at she know As for my previous text. She know by the way, she know tops are mine popped up thing Hey, and she know oh, sorry text the wrong person. I didn't mean to bother you since I already texted seven times. Hi, I sheena. I'm very honest like, oh, well, she's been texting me back. What the heck? Are you upset of me at me because of what happened between James and Brock because that's certainly never been upset with you because of what's happened on James and Brock before. So like, honestly, I don't understand why people are so upset at me. I mean, I bring the enchiladas all the time. I don't understand. Like, I texted like seven times. Like, you can't even respond seven times. Like that, like don't understand why people are so upset at me. I mean, like, I bring the enchililes all the time. I don't understand, like, I text it like seven times. Like, you can't even respond seven times.

Like, that's like a little like a- Why are you gonna still go to like, Santa Enaz? Like, even though she's not texting you about, she's like, um, well, we've already like, uh, but stuff there. Yeah, you're wedding. Ha, ha, ha. Was there wedding in Santa Enaz?

I don't remember. No, James and Raquel's engagement. Members in Santa Enaz. She just doesn't. And she knows, but her own wedding at the engagement party I don't remember. No, James and Rekel's engagement marches in Sandi Ness. And she knows, but her own wedding at the engagement party in Sandi Ness. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, her actual wedding.

So, yeah. So Katie arrives sort of like, it's almost like the someone opened a door and like a plastic bag blew in like, just sort of like has that energy of like whoops. A bag got in here. So in her defense, she is the biggest home body there, you know, it's like the actual home body. So Katie arrives and that's like one thing I'll always have in common with Katie is just like wanting to be home at all times, you know.

So Katie arrives and she's like, she of course starts talking shit. You know, she's like, um, when did it turn into all of this? She's not far off in her assessment. And she was like, he's been doing this for days. Like, look at that balloon thing. Like he did it himself at 5 a.m. And we see there's like a giant think of balloons. Like it's a freaking like, like, like, like I was just say a political convention up there.

Like it's gonna be a balloon drop and someone's gonna become a nominee for president. But Brian, yeah, like the balloon arch up there for something you can't see through the entire photo shoot. So did Brock, just brought the stuff in the balloon business because that's Brock's move this whole episode. I'll go at it balloons. A lot of balloons. We're going to get married or what? Does Kyle Chan have a secret balloon business on the side? It's like him.

He has like a mustache and sunglasses like I'm Kyle. Chan. Yeah. That's not no relationship. Ryle or if that was like one of their vlogs or something, we're seeing was like, you know what, you can do it. We're feeling a lot of money.

It was balloons. So he's just gonna use them in every scene. So Katie, of course, sits down with Lala to talk shit. And she's like, I was not expecting this. I mean, I'm impressed, but like I didn't think it was gonna be like this. Lala's like, I mean, this is not a startup photo shoot. This had to have been a lot of money.

I mean, where did he get that money? It's a fair question. Like does Brock have partners? Are there other investors? Is it just him? It was a very, very large studio space. And it was a big shoot. And I don't know if what we saw where the

final photos are just still shots from the Vanuper Rules production team but I'm not sure I saw where the money went. I know I guess my thing is like we know where La La gets her money so it's like like it's not sharing if you're not covered. La La ball hair by the time it's done you know what I mean and you haven't been like snow all over. Like? And you haven't been like like you know you haven't had to wait. Yeah, where's your eye and like big guy sweat from your forehead. So that's this is not a fair way of getting money. That's thank you know what you're right. And last time I checked not many you know 26 year old ahostasis at restaurants are then all of a sudden able to launch a beauty-care

line lifestyle brand. So, you're right. So, you're right. I mean, this is the same guy who couldn't keep up with child support, not their could-yers, but I mean, that's future, but future headlines calling, future headlines calling. And here we are at a photo shoot he could do on his iPhone. I mean, I agree with everything, blah, blah, just saying. I will say that.

It just feels like she shouldn't be the one to say it. Just have, just have Lisa. There's a classic, I don't see sensible things and then just have her leave again. Yeah. So Lala is like, I mean, you can pay for this, but you're not willing to budge on the engagement or wedding and kitty goes, I would be upset. So then Charlie, you know, guys, I have to say it. I loved Charlie last season. I thought Charlie was the future of the franchise.

I thought that she just, she just like clap back at people so well. She handled jacks, I think very well, the reunion. I was so happy that they gave her a shot this season. She's been like, this season I've been an apologist. I'm like, no, no, no, like, there's still some good in there. I think this is the episode where I may have to, I may have to jump off the, the Charlie train a little bit because she was deeply annoying all episode long. She's like, have the chance. Yes, photoshoots. This is what I do best. I'm like and it just got worse from there. I'm sorry. I have to say RIP

All right RIP hoping Charlie So Brock is checking on the dressing room the glam people he's like, ah, Tom that looks good on you What have you got on chick leggings there? Looks good to him looks good and he's like, yeah, but that's what I like I mean, I've done women's clothes before, but not women's sportswear. So it's the first time for everything, bro. Yeah. And Brock is like, oh, I was thinking about having James the giant and he sent me a message and he was like, oh, I don't feel well. And so if he said, don't let it, it was a cool bow,

but then shorts doesn't feel well either. So I don't know, I don't know what's going on right there. Just what good communication. Like the half-ass DJ disease that's kicking in to everybody who's touched DJ equipment in the past week. So Brock is like, listen. Oh, it's clear communication. And clearly James and all. It got problems in their area. And Ariana's like, yeah, but James is like super fucking rude the other night too.

Yeah, I'm 100. Like, you need to get a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. It got problems in their e-reel and area on it's like yeah, but James is like super fucking rude the other night too Yeah, I'm hundred like music I'm about talking about his feelings because a root of it doesn't they weren't hanging out that much anymore, but like seriously what are the water bottle? And Brock is like I was trying to be quiet bad on my side blue sorry. It blew me my face. Like here we go. It's time for commercial. It's time for a... Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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Crapin's commercial. It's Ben's favorite song from Vannna Front Rules. Party every day. Party party every day. Party every day. Party party every day. That used to be your favorite. I would love...

I would love someone to do one of these songs, because we hear that mantra a lot party every day on a lot of different things. I would love a song that was like, Party once a week, party once a week, at the sunset for time, party once a week, party once a week, not only with them lighting, party once a week, but only maybe day now.

Party every week on a Saturday night. Friday maybe we'll get Chinese food, not committing thing in action. On to tired. On to. I'm like, okay, okay. You're you're regressing too far now. Oh, hey, people, please don't speak to me.

It's like, whoa, Ronnie whoa Ronnie okay put down the pen. Okay you are not running for this show. Oh you opened two coffees, get it. Coffee and step, Ed. So we go to the photoshoot and you know it's like whacking us. Ariana Squats and then the girls are like thinking my two panted down bows and then the girls are like, I think it might my two pantone bells. And then I'm a girl.

Like they're doing a lot of those poses. And then she and I was like, Oh my brums. Kind of for no reason. Yeah. And then the balloons don't even fall properly when it comes time. It's like, oh, I can't even remember

when he lets you a group photo under the balloons that you can't see all right, but don't worry We'll see him cuz they can afford wait, they're not falling one the balloon falling I'm then he walks off to the side to see to check and then they fall so he's not even in the group picture with the balloons falling Sad balloon fail. Yeah, the balloons falling like the entire like netting came down It looked like one giant balloon dookiey that was slowly descending on them. Oh well. Yes, too bad. I was really hoping for that good balloon photo for my fitness app. I know I really want my trainer to look like they want American Idol. It's just super important for me. Now listen if my fitness app were just Kelly Clarkson just motivating motivating me, that's a game to you. You know Kelly Clarkson is like, you don't have to do it today if you don't want to.

She's like, party wants a week. So the next song is like, keep keeping step with the sunlight. It all be fine. Keep a step with the sunlight. Good luck with that. Moating. You can step with the sunlight. Enjoy running around the world. It's like someone that's like the opposite of a vampire. Shade kills. So Katie is at home with Schwartz and she's using her fucking baby for you. She's like Big day, honey. We have to make sure we nail this pitch to Rand because Rand has to take that to his partners. This cup all. I know and yeah, and he's basically like Bop, bop, bop, bop, she's my wife. If she can't do it, there will be strife.

Oh, I'm like, please, no more, no more. Don't you see me? So they're gonna ask Rand for 200 grant. So you're basically asking for your entire budget from Rand. Have you guys saved no money? Mike, nine, you've been on this show now. What is this season? That's so much.

Yeah, come on. Man. Save a, save a, like like Sella, sell something. Like Sella, sell address from your closet, I don't know. Yeah, that's not going to work. I mean, look, no, look, look, you know what? It's better to get investors and put up your own money. So they're doing it right.

I just feel like when you're pitching an unapologetically feminine sandwich shop, I'm just not going to randle and me, hey, I'd love to sound like that. Yeah, I want to sandwich you what I want. I want a big meatball on top of a fried chicken on top of an ice cream sandwich in a sandwich. That's what I want. Unapologetically feminine with Rand who is notorious for respecting women. Okay. notorious. With yeah. So then we go over to Shina with Brock and she's like, well,

did you ever think that when you met me at the after party that would be sitting here, signing up right up? Cause that's what they're doing. Yes, because they are at the lawyer's office, right? The lawyers come three lawyers come in. Well, once a not Yes, because they are at the lawyer's office, right? And the lawyers come, three lawyers come in. Well, once in a while. But they come in and Brock is dressed in like skin type white pants, a shirt button down to his belly button and a greasy man button.

I mean, he's like the poster child of a guy that gets you to sign a prenup. Okay, so this is the reason. He's like, yeah, she's like, look, we already know we want to get married. pre-knop. Okay, so this is the reason. Yeah. Yeah, she was like, look, we already know we want to get married and we have to have all our ducks in a row. And that includes getting our marriage license, getting a pre-knop. And also like actually maybe getting some ducks because I really like some ducks. Can we get some ducks into the morale? Who wants a thought of a pre-knop? Was it you? Was it me? I was my mom wasn't it?

The most. my mom was that the bus start cracking up so the lawyers explaining is like this where the lawyers just the notary and you know it is a you it is a natural document when we don't know the wedding date is like all right so he's what it been she gets with his log it with mine what's mine and she's like yeah so I'm just on a home bottom and she wants her ring and her retirement count and he's like but if all you're best in the eight we're telling me the count she's like I have a lot of money in that thing they like just sign the papers and while we wave at the camera for our wives hi honey we're on van from rules They look so confused about who these people are.

How does a retirement account work for a Vandiprum Rules? Gastronomber, is it like set to go into an effect in like a year? Like how does that even work? It's like congratulations. You turned 65 and now you get, go cheese balls.

Oh, congratulations, you'll fold your time and it begins. So she's signing and she's looking over the papers and then she's just start some monologuing to the lawyers. She's like, well, the last time I got married, I wanted to divorce, but then that guy didn't want to divorce. So I was like, what if we split half my bank account and that made a great off course? So that's why I want to bring out,

feeling, hmm, high, not paid to care. So, not a notary is like the ink on my stamp is getting dry. So then she has like, well, I definitely learned a big lesson that like no matter how much you love someone and they love you, there's always a risk that they can lose everything and then I just don't want to take that risk again. So therefore I'm going to do a notary and I'm gonna have to bring it up. And also I texted Rick Hell sometimes and I shouldn't hear back from her and not just tell me when I can stop my amount of luck

because I'm just gonna go about anything right now. So then I was talking to Brock and she's like, you know what? I saw I wanna be surprised. I don't wanna know when you're gonna propose. I mean, I know when, but I kinda don't wanna know the exact minute of Rick Hell's engagement party

that you're gonna propose. Like, while I'll me during the speeches. Oh my God, I'm almost playing the speeches! So then we go over to Sir and Katie is sitting down and she's, it's to meet with Rand and Ariana's not there and she calls Ariana and Ariana is stuck dealing with refinance documents with a notary. So a back-to-back notary scene on on Venom and Pearls and I'm gonna let you guys in on something. A notary can't go over to my place last night.

So it was a big like a trio of notaries for me. I was like wow Tuesday is all about the notaries. Tuesday, you know, like Saturdays for the boys. It's for the notaries. Body everyday. Body everyday. Potty off Tuesday. Oh, not your knees.

So Katie's like, oh my god, I'm going to have to stall. I mean, when you ask someone for hundreds of thousands of dollars, you've got to show up on time. Like if you don't show someone you value their time, then how will they know that you're valuing their money? So then Rand walks in like a video game character like You know and then he walks in at least at least that happens to be just like oh She has this She's just like oh

There he is Like you know like she just has this tone about her and he's the guy Lisa I'm glad you hear she's like Please don't hug me. I still haven't found someone to remove the fried chicken grease from my favorite ring master blazer that you touched last time telling Speak personal space Lisa as someone who owns the restaurants, I want to ask you. You think that these girls are going in the right direction. Do you think that maybe we should get Bruce Willis involved for five minutes and then he's gone for the rest of the experience? You'll do it.

I mean, he doesn't even know where he is after time. God bless him. Dr. O'erling, listen, I know everything about hiring and bringing people into the fold. I mean, listen, I've had Jack's working for me for a decade. He's never stopped stealing. He doesn't even work here now. He still comes in at night to steal. It really is heartwarming. Rand, why do you want to do it? I mean, it's because you love this group of friends. They look at you like the Godfather, because they have no understanding of what the godfather really is. So it's charming in its own way.

So it's like there's no upside to giving Randall advice. If it goes well, he won't thank me. If it goes wrong, he will blame me. And either way, I'm being covered in food, like I'm sitting in the front row of a Samu show at a food world exhibition. No matter what happens, I'm still down to fried chicken breasts. fluid world, exhibition. No matter what happens, I'm still down to fried chicken breasts. So I don't like any brand, you have to wear a trash bag to have a conversation with random.

I feel like a matter. What do they call it? Galaga show. So, um, so then Randall sits down with Katie. Oh the power lunch and Charlie comes by and she's like you want some drink Randall? She's sort of being in the way again. She's really she's crossed over for me. So he so Katie then points to the chair beside her the empty chair She's just sorry she and Tom like read finance their house, they had a notary calm.

He's, oh, so she didn't plan that a little earlier. Yeah, actually, my apologies. Thank you for coming. And she's like, yeah, I never scheduled a meeting when shorts has something for his business. I mean, I would be like crucified if I did that. He's like, Hey, Terry, time is set for 30 minutes. And then just like stairs at Katie, you know, um, by the way, Katie, wait a like cover for your partner

there. Instead of saying like, Oh, uh, she got a flat tire. Oh, she was on the way. She got T-bone. She was abducted and she's trying to knock her way out of her like a box or something. She just fully is like, Oh, yeah, she planned something else for this time. Like you got to tell a little light lie. Yes, one of the reasons Rand wants to do this stuff is to be like part of the fun, You know, like with the guys, it's like, yeah, I'm gonna be part of the time time. I'm gonna show up every now and then it's gonna be a party. And for this, it's just like time, except the 30 minutes, just staring at Katie and Sir.

It's like, just doesn't have a fun. For a day. You know what, Sir, you took enough of our time with pickleball so you can wait 10 minutes for Ariana. So he's like, listen, I'm really excited, but it'd be nice if she showed up on time. And Katie's like, um, um, um, um, okay. Well, so our thought is it's really important to get a baker in house because Brett is going

to be super important. She just sort of starts talking. And but then Ariana just shows up. So it's like not even an issue. Right, but a Baker in-house because Brett is important. Yeah, we know. And there's a lot of sandwich shops. Guess what? They don't all make room bread for every sandwich.

Okay? Those are bakeries. Also, how about you guys learn how to bake bread? Like, isn't, wouldn't that actually be, well, no, I mean, wouldn't, yeah, but like, wouldn't that actually be the cool thing is that they like went, well, like, took a bread-making class, like, learn how to do it and start making bread

for their sandwiches. I know it's hard, but like, I think that would be really cool for their, like, a Katie and Arianna made bread for their sandwiches. Would you definitely see what Arianna brings to this because she walks it Katie's like, okay, I'll start. So here I mean, this is what I mean.

So we're thinking Baker, we're gonna get a Baker because bread's important. It's like you're not you're telling Rand the bread's important. You think Rand doesn't understand the importance of a carb trust me, okay? I'm a Rand-figured boy myself and we understand how important bread is, okay. So Katie is like kind of failing and like boring and nobody wants to invest in this because it's like paying to sit with Katie. Like who fucking wants it? So Ariana walks in and she's like, yeah, sorry I'm late. Super legally parked. So here's what we're thinking, you know, it's gonna be amazing

unapologetically feminine Fantastic, he's like all right now. I'm into it. You know she brings All right, the charm to it for sure Which is funny because Katie's been like I know about the restaurant industry so Rans like okay, so what's the name? they like The name is Something about her. Wow. Wow, I like that. It's like something about her sandwiches. Wow. Wow. Now, have you thought about calling it the expendables three? Because I think that would be a really good thing.

Okay, we're thinking of calling it. There is something about her double fried chicken sandwiches named Rand. He's like, yes! You know what? Here's the bag of money I'm supposed to be spending on my kids. Okay, go. Run with it. It's like, all right. So what's the budget? How many Bruce Willis's can he do?

Can he use Bruce Willis and Stallone? Because we can do those two both together. How much is a budget? He's got a Puccino, Puccino. Well, what about a little, uh, stetham, a little Jason stetham, huh? Do you mind if we put up a poster for John Gotti? What about a little, a little jason's statement, okay? Do you mind if we put up a poster for John Gotti?

The John Gotti. So, Eryama's like, well, we're looking between $100 and $200,000. He's like, whoa, that's a big gap. All right, you know, all right. What are you offering? What are you offering in return? Like, he's like, well, we know what we're offering you

of Randall Emmett production sandwich. Oh, I love that they're keeping it so unapologetically. Yeah, and so creative. Oh, dude. Randall Emmett production sandwich is delicious. Like they don't, not like the Randy Sammy or something like that. I actually think, I actually appreciate the blatantness

of just calling it the Randall Emmett production sandwich, like not even being cutesy, not even doing wordplay, because clearly Randall with his work doesn't appreciate wordplay or interesting use of language. So just calling it the Randall Emmett production sandwich. I mean, come on guys, you had a meeting to decide this pitch. Like come up with something like the, you know,

monster by Monday or the triple deck or fofty or something. It means some effort into it or the like a fall off. Yeah, the pickle in a ball fofty something. Also, maybe sandwich ideas. I think just in general, like hearing what the sandwiches are. Like Randall's like, whoa, I'm in, I'm in. I might do not want to hear like what's on the sandwiches,

what sandwich concepts they've come up with, what they're right. So it comes out. She's like, hello, how's it going girls? And he's like, Oh, I can, how you doing? Good to see you. But this is Fluffy bottom, Nick, a steam. All right, the dog day. You make a steam.

And then he goes, obviously, I have my own reasons why I should be part of this because I was throwing out other restaurants, but through the ashes we rise. All right. By the way, will there be any ash covered sandwiches? Just a concept of throwing out there. Okay. Anyway, hopefully the numbers make sense to my team and we'll be back with some, I don't know, sandwiches. And it's okay.

These like we have to wait and see. That's the worst in your area. And it goes, okay. So we'll send something visual over. He goes, yeah, anything tangible. Okay. Something visual, preferably that I could touch. Maybe with some turkey in the middle, okay?

If you can incorporate Dolph Lungerin, even better. So Ariana's like, well, if this goes well, maybe we'll move on to the Vand or Pumper Nickel. I was like, I was like grown, but then I kind of was like, that's actually kind of like a really smart idea for like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

I don't like it. So Katie's like, this is really a fail. It just can't. Who but it can. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. So then Sina and Brock are leaving the lawyer's office are walking down the hallway and she was like oh my god We got it. He's like wait. Did we do it?

Rose you're always we're gonna go outside real quick. So he's got like a cuz they're at they're in their building By the way, they're in their building the not the lawyer's office. They're outside I thought they were still the lawyers office. was like, what the hell is he doing? No. No, they're in their apartment building and they're walking up to their apartment door. And before they walk into their apartment door, Brock is like, hold on, honey.

I'm gonna go in solid, real quick. Just wait, roll, yeah. So then she's just waiting. She's like, and it goes 77 seconds later, which was funny because it was the only time. A lot. So he comes back with like a tie and he ties around her eyes like a blindfold.

I just got lost extensions. He's like, don't worry. It's just for a second. All right. I had your mom's help with this. So open your eyes. And they're on their about. So I guess it's just for a second, all right. I had your mom said with this, we're open your eyes. And they're on their belt. So I guess it's their balcony, right?

This makes so much more sense. Yeah. I was like, he went to a law office. I said they had an extra room and then decorated balcony. So he's decorated the balcony with guess what? Balloons. Balloons. I can say that.

That says like marry me and everything. And she put, and there's like rose petals on the balcony. And there's like this enormous construction site in the background. It's like the least sheen up proposal that you would expect. But he is, and there's like horns honking down on Vine Street or Argyle wherever they are. And it's just like loud and trafficy.

And although I have to say, Ronnie, I actually appreciated its low-fi charm. I actually appreciated the fact that it was not Rachella and it was not fireworks. And it was not a whole big thing. It was just like this intimate thing in the middle of a construction area, you know, traffic noise, city noise. And so he gets, you've been planning this for how long you couldn't make any fucking effort. You got some balloons on your home balcony. No, like you should it, you could have done something. This is ridiculous. I think I'm just, I think I'm just sort of seeing, for me, it's more just like in the broader scheme of bravo engagements that I think are so over the top and ridiculous.

I think I'm just also, I was once a participant in a, in a flash mob engagement and I, I really hated it. I'm happy for them, but I hated the concept of it and since then I just really don't like over the top I'm not sure mom's never made sense to me like unless everybody's gonna show me their boobs at the same time Like I have no interest. You know what I mean? Like that would be interesting It's a lot of effort but the choreography. Yeah, it's gross. I'm not really judging the engagements in general It's just you're marrying sheena like if you know you're marrying Shina, do something, but to just be like, yeah, it's free. Yeah, it's free.

Something cute and creative, but just to like stand there on a balcony with fucking balloons that you apparently got at Costco for like, you know, really cheap, because you got a lot of them. It's just like no effort. And you know, Shina acts all excited because she finally gets to see her ring,

which also I don't even believe that ring cost $10,000. Somebody was posting a Morganite ring that looks just like there's for, it was like $2,500 or something. And you know what, like we said, it's fine to be poor or whatever. I just feel like this whole thing is, I don't know, I feel like it's just like the Mayflower coming over for the first time and it's just people with their eyes on settling, you know? Um, at least with better fashion. Slightly, I think.

I see that. I mean, those pilgrims could have used some- I mean, I agree that she deserves that. I will give you that. Sheena deserves a more romantic setting than the balcony for sure, but I just was happy to not see another Rachella. I think that's what I was responding to. In retrospect, I think that maybe they could have gone to Griffith Park, or they could have

gone to Mulholland Drive to a scenic outlook over the city and still had something small in intimate. That would have been just as cheap. But I couldn't tell. I mean, I think that she was, she was like, which was her way of being like, I can't believe this is it. I can't have that high smile. But I'm like, of course, I'm really. And he's like, this is a, you know, you will be the best thing

they could have made me to make your business a green card and shelter all in one woman. To quote my favorite Australian band, I need you to know in excess. Rest in place. So, and then Erica, the mom is just like poking through the windows, just holding the baby like, oh god, this fucker, Jacob, my daughter. Um, so the producer asked she knew about the proposal, like, be honest, this fucker, Jacob, my daughter. So the producer asked she knew about the proposal, like, beyond the sheen, I said, oh, I knew I might be coming soon,

I was like, oh, my nail is done with my nail on this wing, so I was like, oh my god, it's gonna be this week. But I wasn't totally sure if it was been this week, so I thought maybe it might be next week, so either between this week or next week, and then I was thinking that maybe it's gonna be like two weeks, because like next week, my nail's might not look quite as good, so then I might need to get a refresh. So I was mean this week or next week. I don't have to think that like, maybe it's gonna be like two weeks because like next week my nails might not look quite

as good. So then I might need to get a refresh. So I was like maybe in three weeks, but then in four weeks, the weather might be a little bit better. So it could have been in four weeks. Like, okay, Gina. I've got those nails done to get to get engaged on your fucking balcony. Okay. So Brock's like also doesn't she always get her nails done. I feel like that's like not a strange thing for her. She's like, oh my god, I got my nails done. I'm gonna get she was probably think she's gonna get engaged every single week. Oh my god I just got my nails on I think we engaged this week. She's so excited. She's like fine. Why it happened? I'm thinking this was gonna happen since I was 16

So the mom's like so brox like babe, you know, we lost to V knew, you know, because that was very So brocks like babe, you know, we lost a venue, you know, because that was very intricately planned by me And that's something that we lost when red decided he wasn't just gonna play for everything And then the only really the only time we've really got to do it is this weekend at Jameson Requills thing And the mom's like um, and I don't think you shouldn't think of me from jeans and rank heels moment. She goes, yeah, I'm even think I should wear my ring now. But what I will do is I'll just put it on a pillow and just send it around from table to table. And then Brock is like, well, there's a conversation in the cards that are happening.

Well, I would like to sneak away to a secret place. And then you know, I'm in the sand of all who he is all dined and cared of the phone Yeah, and Ariana we can all go and like you know We can just do it with a little nap time and then we can get married and then we can sniggle away the morning come back And then we can celebrate James and Raquel's love for each other Oh, so he says they're gonna keep it a big secret and he's like Nashina you're the weakest link in this I'm like, oh my god, another line for your vows.

God, you guys are killing it. You should help with sandwiching. So for the sandwich shop. If Shina's the weakest link in this, why are you doing it? Why are you doing this? So then, she knows like, well, I see no point in waiting to get married.

I mean, I can only get my nails done so many times. So we know what this is what we want. Like, let's just do it this weekend. So she's like, no, I can't now. And he goes, we'll know. And they told it, man, it is. And so she's like, okay, I'm down. Oh my God, you two, you're both terrible. Okay. Both of you are fucking terrible at this point. And you deserve whatever backlash you get from this, because this is, this is just horrible. It's like here they come and no one is gonna see you guys. When you guys even come to a dinner party, people gonna hide their silverware.

I'm gonna tell you that right now. But also it's such a bad idea that like no one's even really giving James shit for basically taking a whole other weekend to celebrate his engagement. Because Shina does say like, well this weekend is about James and Raquel, and I don't wanna take that away from them,

but it's not taking away that much from them because you know what, like they already had a weekend, so like whatever. And like, it still is James and Raquel's weekend, so it's still a really shitty, terrible idea. But James and Raquel are costing this cast a lot of money to celebrate their engagement twice. So let's also not forget that.

That deserves to be. I mean, it does, but it's a separate issue. Like there are the ones supposedly dropping all the money into this thing that you're going to be using for your own personal scenery. It's the way I'm looking at it, you know. No, I agree. It's a separate issue. I'm just saying, given that it's a separate issue, that

issue should be like that. But also, Rikkel acts like a big guy. Like we're getting distracted away. Rikkel's very smart. She's a full-time cast member on this show now. And she knew how to make this entire season about her storyline. You know? Because it went every big tent pull moment has been Rikkel, Rikal, Rekal, Rekal, Rekal, Rekal. All through to the end. So, you know, in that regard, I say, well done, man. Well done. And she'll probably get a free surgery from Dr. Paul and the C. But I'm sure Lisa is going to come up and be like, you know what, Rekal?

My engagement part to give to you is that I shall pay for Dr. Paul and the C. Fixing of your horrific nose. You know that's going gonna happen, right? So, or Paul, I'm self will do it. Like, you know, there's been a real rough time in the world and I'm all about giving back. So, here's a brand new free nose rich person, you know. That's like justice for this time.

Yeah. So then the scene ends with Sheena, like to show that she's gonna keep the secret. She like zips her mouth, she like zips her mouth, and then like swallows to show she's like swalming the key or whatever, and Brock goes, What was that? And she's like, I saw all the secret. He just starts in the hymn, like, on her.

Okay, where you'll be safe, Sheena. Don't you agree? You're my retirement, Lance. Come back, walk away from the line. It's a matter of. So then everybody's getting ready for that trap. And Ariana and Tom are driving.

And Tom is like sweating through the rest of this episode. He's like, oh, I brought my lights on. Well, but I'm really starting to have to think about this, second thoughts about this dude. Oh. Dude, she knows one of my oldest friends in LA, and I want to do anything to make her happy, but James' also a really good friend of mine,

and the last thing I want to do is be the thing that causes James to go to the dark side. I don't want to be that person, I like that fuse. I'm stuck between a Brock and a hard place. He really gave it his all. He really gave it his all with that one. And then we get just random songs now. You know, you know, this is a good one. This is just, this is one of the more random songs. I know you got my back. You got my back. You got my back. You got my back. You got my back.

I turned on the closed captioning for this song because I was like, this one I want to actually make sure I got it right. Baby, you are good relax because I know you've got my back. Back, back. You've got my back back back back back back back back back I'm gonna do is I'm gonna use a bottom part and just repeat it okay I was thinking about abo abo abo abo abo abo abo I thought maybe back might work with you the bell yeah got my name yeah got my name my name my name Trixi Trixi Trixi come on You've got my name can we give some more effort there? What are you the cast of rules make some effort? All right all right all right I got the note I got the note people say I'm not easy to work with bud just took that note okay here

We go babe with you I can relax because I know you've got my toe you've got my toe with you I can relax because I know you've for us. This one's for my father. Babe, you've got my nose. You've got my nose. Nose nose nose. Alright, we'll take care of this and post, Trixie Tech team. So, Katie and Schwartz are the first to arrive and this place is gorgeous. Like, Raquel has rented them this humongous mansion, basically, and they all have these huge master suites. And this is pretty, and she calls Katie and Tom Sweet, the Brickley.

It's very sweet. Yeah, the Britney Sweet. I found it like a little cold in there. It was like, it was beautiful. It was beautiful and that sort of like, Santinez way, but it was also cold. It was very lots of stonework. I love that. That was nice. I mean, I would try to work in stone.

I love it. But I needed like a little something more. It was a little too rustic glam. Just a little. Or rustic glam. I needed some like, I like my rustic and a little bit of a different. I would want more like wooden exposed beams and whatever. So, but I wouldn't kick it out a bit. Okay, I would still be more than happy to go there. So Katie and Schwarzer there first and Schwarzer, like, oh, this is some classy stuff. It's like a postcard.

Wow. James has come a long way compared to when I first met him. And I'm saying this about a guy who used to jerk off cranberry juice onto my wife. And then we see a flash. I was like, what? I thought I was to flash back from like, when they were at like comes Charlie and she's like

Won't do it won't accept it Won't do it in the episode is like I'm gonna drink these bitches under the table. I'm really good at drinking. Yeah drink these bitches under the table. I'm really good at drinking. Yeah. I'm here to party bitches. Come on down at bitches. Oh my god. I'm like, I'm like, I'm gonna someone put her in a wine vat and just roll her down a hill. So barrel, I should say. So Ariana shows up. She's like, Oh my god. Are we in Italy? My boyfriends ripped. I wonder where everyone is. Charlie's like, should I wait for my boyfriend to open this bottle? No, because I drink good guys.

So then, Katie and Schwartz. She really is. That's terrible. So Katie and Schwartz are in their room and Katie's like, Rand said he's going to give an answer to us this weekend, Baba, and then Lisa came and you know, she's really disappointed in you guys. Katie, what the hell, okay?

You're working on your own disappointment. Could you just leave them alone for two fucking seconds? But I don't like Schwartz's attitude, which is, whoa, well, Lisa and Ken have been doing this so long. We're just starting, we're learning as we go. And we're just getting there, just painstakingly slow. I'm like, with other people's money, no, you don't get to get like a pat on the back

for just trying your hardest. No. So, Katie's like, well, she said, if I was them, that she would do all on her own. Katie, you're such an asshole. And she of course left out the part where Lee she said so Lee so what did you think about the other night? You know she's making it sound like Lee since just like girls I'm so disappointed. She gave an honest answer to a question you brought up you fucking shit stirring now go take

a bread class. Take a bread class. Then Orianna talks about how the whole place feels like a castle. And it's just as nice as the castles in. And talking. And talking is a free way. And great. Thankfully.

Thankfully, they did not queue up any footage from the Kentucky wedding that we had to endure last year or last season. So they all, they're all going to go on a wine tour. And James and Raela are driving up. I love you Rikela. I love you. Oh my God. Break off this relationship right now.

If this is how he's going to ride up anywhere to any location, it's like a nightmare. And I won't say it over and over again the rest of the episode. But this guy is completely fucked up on something. The whole episode, he's manic and fucking crazy. So congrats on not drinking. Please share with me whatever the hell it is you're taking because I could use some of that. Okay, look at me.

I can barely move. Okay, give me, give me whatever that is. So he's like he's having. So then back with Ariane and Tom, they talk about the wine tour in James and like that sucks. It's a wine tour for his party. And he's like, yeah, but like he was giving me text attitude, you know. Well, and, and, and then, and then our, uh, James gave Ariana attitude on

FaceTime. And so we see a flashback. There looked like there was some sort of like country western party that never made it onto the show. And Ariana is face-saving with Requel from it. And she's like, Hey, can I talk to you privately? You know, I really didn't like how James like grabbed your arm at, at, towards the sandies, whatever. And so James like comes in to frame us, Okay, you know, what did you

have done, Ron, think about me? Maybe you should think about your own life. Yeah, because she said she wanted to try that. And Raquel's like, Okay, James just left the room and then suddenly James is there I don't know close the door or something. Yeah, she's obviously gonna talk shit about James so Yeah, then So he's all pissed off now at Ariana and Tom's like yeah, you don't get to blame this on alcoholism or bad mood or being in a funk or whatever This is just your personality, you know, which yeah.

Yeah. And then we get a new, which is true. And then we get another tricky classic goes like this, rich friends, rich fronts, everybody needs them rich friends rich friends. Someday we're going to be that. I mean, that's the most apt song for this episode. They could have picked. So then we got a Joanne with Sunstone Vineyards,

and everyone cheers while they do their wine tasting. And she serves them sparkling brute. I'm like, what is it, Brock and Glitter? Because here comes Brock. Brock and his cowboy hat. Oh yeah. And so yeah, they're all having the full Joanne experience. Minus the Fabrics, hey, oh.

And then they're like, she's like, okay, I need a volunteer who is going to drink directly from the barrel. So of course, Charlie's like, that's Batch. So she's like, okay, get down underneath. So they do that thing where she takes like that Basically that bass or thing and then just like pours it down Charlie's throat and are you know? I was like wow that's a lot of liquid and Charlie's like not my first time bitches drinking drinking bitches and then we see she and she's like my law my Our ball parents are we got a hotel. I mean, I was my because

Missly sub on our pop-up string. And then we cut to the hotel room where Lala and Sina are breastfeeding side by side and then the camera moves down and Lisa Vanderpump is breastfeeding the dog. She's like, oh, I didn't want to be left out. And you know, Randall. So that's Ken, right? No. Sloopy, doopy to poopy talk He just has a fried chicken thigh just on his boob all right there good boy good. Hello. They take it in Big huh big dip So

Charlie again they're like I came here to fucking drink and these bitches are never gonna be able to keep up. It's like okay Charlie she must have gotten a memo that her time on this show is running out because now all of a sudden she's playing this card like out of nowhere. I'm good. So then next spy you go back up to Villa and Charlie's talking about their drinking. And then James and Raquel finally come. And James Raquel has obviously dressed James. James is like golf club douche from the 80s.

You know, like his white polo in his, in light yellow Easter sweater, tied around his shoulders. Yes, well, this whole weekend is really, the, I'm a good boy, aren't I, weekend, right? Because that's what this whole thing is for, is to show that he's grown up, that he's passed his issues, that he's a good little boy, and he's gonna have this elegant, lovely, fancy engagement party.

And I think it's really to convince himself that he has had the new phase in his life. I think it's because he has a... I think it's because... I think it's because James didn't wear this on his own. Like, James would not be able to come up with this. I think where Kelle is trying to convince her family, and herself, that this is gonna work, right? Well, they both are. They both are.

James is still... James just shows up deep down of his Well, they both are. Because James is still, James is like, shows up, peaked out of his mind, screaming everything, losing his temper right away, you know, it's like typical. So he comes out and he's like, so how's the one, two, you go as fucked up. And then we see the sip and see, or the sip and paint, or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, paint and sip. And this lady is like, okay, so what we're going to be doing, if we're going to paint that tree over there. And the first prize is a bottle of wine. And James is like, what about me? I don't drink a bottle of mineral water. I was like, oh, that's truly not fair. That's truly not fair. Like give me a sandwich or something. So they start painting this tree. And some of them actually do like a really nice job. Some of them are really good at it. But then Katie's, be like, uh, Schwartz is like, Oh, Katie's. Oh, yours is so moody. Yeah. Yours is like a, I think they refer to it as a dark blob. It's just like this.

Catch. It's like one of those, um those splotch things they do in therapy where they just show you the splotches and say, what do you see in this? Orsage. Yeah. Orsage. Yeah. So let's see. I thought that was pretty funny though. Katie just basically spilled paint all over black paint. So then Brock. I was expecting more Brock pulls. I know for someone someone who sits at home doing paint my numbers or whatever the hell she's doing. Yeah. So Brock pulls Tom aside. He's like, bro, she said yes. All right.

So we're going to do it. We still want to do it this weekend. You're good with that, right? And Tom, there's like sweat pouring off of Tom in every direction. He's like, oh, I got to tell you dude, I'm really, really nervous. What gave it away that your forehead looks like the fountain in the beginning of the married with children opening credits? So, I don't, I'm sorry, Chicagoans, I don't know the name of that fountain. So anyway, so now it's dinner time and James is like Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, it's time for a toast! Okay, everyone, thank you for coming.

I'm feeling the love, I'm feeling the energy, I'm feeling this stupidity for Brock and I just want to say both of our families will be joining us tomorrow. So it's just going to be such a huge thing for Rachele and I I wouldn't want to spend it with any other group. Just one thing. So, Ed.

My family's coming to make sure you don't leave any of your credit cards out on the table. My mother will take them. All right, ask Chris Stan. So, then Katie is talking to Lala about, because Lala's like, oh, by the way, how did that, your pitch go to Rand? And Katie's like, it was good, but Ariana was running a little bit late, which is again

Like you're gonna be working with Ariana. You first you this is the second time We you really like thrown her under the bus Katie's Someone was back and she will never stand for anybody ever never truly so have fun with that business, because that's just a terrible fucking idea to work with Katie. So Lala's like, yeah, I mean, Randall's Rand is so chill when it comes to money, but when it comes to money,

he's like, you better get your shit right, do everything right. And she's like, yeah, oh no, Schwartz says, yeah. She never probably just goes, yeah. It's assumed, let's throw an Ashina a scene. Yeah. It's a yeah. It's on spec. Yeah, on spec So Schwartz is like yeah, I 100% wouldn't give money to someone who's late Like I wouldn't give money to someone who is a compulsive gambler either by the way

Yeah, so Schwartz is like yeah, I like to be on time. I mean, Sandiple here, he operates on his own bad matching sweater time. So not much we can do about that. They're both sitting in the diary room in their terrible matching sweaters. And then, Sandiple all goes, well, for the important meetings, I'm not late for. So then this producer who's probably sat through eight years of him showing up late, goes, oh, and how late were you for the interview today? He's like, I was about 20 minutes late.

I forgot to get my nail polish removed. But what the fuck kind of excuse of that? But also, I have to say, I like Gary on the deals with all this, because she's like, whatever. Sorry, I was really worried about it. And then she tells us, yeah, well, I got $3,000 a month taking off my mortgage. So worth it.

Worth it. Yeah. Exactly. So what's the name? What's the name of the house you're doing? What is it? And they're like, it's called something about her. He's like, I love it.

I love it. What a name. Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantt-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t Let's do it. Let's fizz bump. Let's fizz bump. And he's obviously fucked up. And so, Rihanna's like, so James, how's it going with you? And he goes, like, naughty boy. And she's like, so I know you've been under some stress and kind of firing off at people. He's like, I wasn't firing off. All right. You were going to like rant about me for like eight minutes

to recount. Yeah, but you weren't supposed to be part of the conversation. But I live in the same small apartment. How can I not hear? Easy. You go into a different room and if you feel like you're over hearing something put on some music or distract yourself like any other human being would. So she's like, well, you know, you kind of threw some dicks at me. He's like, yeah, I did. And I also threw dicks it broke. And I'm very, very sorry about that. And she's like, yeah, I did. And I also threw dicks at broke. And I'm very, very sorry about that. And she's like, yeah,

cause we were like, what the fuck at that party? And he goes, oh, well, yeah, it's cause broke came at me with this aggressive energy. You know, and I'll never sing that from you broke. It's like his aggressive energy going, bro. You know what, hearing, hearing, you're not being stressed out. It's like, wow. That's aggressive.

Yeah, I also feel like we haven't really seen Brock being aggressive, but I feel like when we see Brock being aggressive, we'll know Brock's being aggressive. So he's like, there was no zero aggression on it. And he's, I didn't use my champion with you at all. And he's like, oh, but you do live it. And at this point, when you said, I said something, I never said,

oh, blah, blah, you did a little bit. Like, oh, so because Brock had a little bit of frustration in his voice, the little bit of tension, that justified you flying off the handle. How is that fair when James, James, who has an extreme amount of aggression all the time and then is frequently asking people for apologies and grace with his extreme aggression

and now he's saying like, oh, we'll Brock had a little bit, a little bit of aggression. That wasn't cool. Brock confronted him about just not being honest about quitting weed. It's like if you don't want to quit, just say I'm too stressed out to quit right now.

That's all he said, because James is like, well, I couldn't quit because the girl got COVID and then I had to be at home. And he's like, take responsibility, just say you couldn't do it. Like, it's your life, you know, and James lost it. So, um, well, James says, he goes, well, that's why I lost it all on you, because it was like, you were coming at me saying, I shouldn't, I shouldn't come at people in that way. I was talking to them, like, I didn't need a daddy lesson from you right then, okay?

So that's clearly it right there, by the the daddy lesson because you know James probably has severe fucked up issues with his dad And so like he probably felt at that moment that like Brock was being the sort of fatherly authoritative figure And he has a complicated relationship with that and that I feel like he yearns for that and but then the moment that you know A thought someone is giving him fatherly advice. It's like, who the you to tell me you're abandon me, you're abandon me. You know, so that's probably what's going on with it. So Brock is like, well, I don't want I have to walk around eight on

eggshells around you mate. And James like, you know, I have to walk around eggshells with me. I'm right. Yeah. Like dude, you're like literally screaming right now. Right. He's like, Oh, I just feel I just feel distant to you. It's like, oh, yep. There it is. He's the victim. So Brock is like, well, I just want, I just feel distant to you. It's like, oh, yep, there it is.

He's the victim. So Brock is like, well, I just want to make sure if I have something to talk about with you, I can. He's like, absolutely, absolutely, you can. You can. Look at that work, that. Look at everybody. Yeah, it's like, if you can accept my apologies,

because yeah, this is your guys weekend. And this is only about you guys. And there's nothing else to detract from that and absolutely It's about you guys because you know what smooth seas make good sailors and rough seas make for good friendships Yellow sweaters around guys next to you. She makes for round sailors. We're on from but you know what that's for another day Right for another day So are you saying that everyone on Titanic became a really good friend? So Charlie is over there chucking.

She's like, oh my god, these bitches are weak. We cause a drink so good. Gosh, Charlie. So now afterwards, Ariana and Santa Valla are in their bedroom and Santa Valla is like, oh my god, I had to reach the car. I had to grab this and he pulls out like a giant like marriage certificate or whatever, the license, like a huge thing. And then there's like a, he's like,

oh, I like has to hide in the rain. And he goes, we're having sex right now. And she just opens the door anyway and goes, oh, I'm not, you're not. What? Ha, ha, ha, ha. She's like, and area, I was like, oh my god, you're wedding week. And she's like, doesn't feel like it. Cause I can't remember where my ringer tell anybody.

And Tom's like, yeah, but like nobody can find out about this. All right. And she's like, I mean, James can be a deck, but I like wouldn't do that to him. You know, I wouldn't do that to Raquel. I love Raquel. So I will not steal their wedding, their engagement party, on the engagement party date, a wait to steal it for like four weeks later. When I post it. Yeah, but unfortunately, she never texted back to my seven texts. So I guess maybe

I could do this. I don't know. So basically,'re gonna do it. And here in this scene, I mean, it kind of made a little more sense to me because we find out that this is not just, not just, it still is Brock and Shina being cheap fucks, okay, and stealing someone's engagement party. But it's also about the fact that this is a season finale party, right? So Shina's like the old time cast member

who's like, this is a season finale. It should be my fucking wedding. I'm Sheena on Vanderpump rules. And instead, it's going to James and fucking Raquel. I don't think so. This is gonna be my wedding finale, you know? So that brings another element. That is like that is clearly what's really going on here. That's that's that's clearly what they are pot have been posturing for all season long. And probably, Vannepom Rules, probably the producers were like, we are not sure that we can make them our grand climax, considering that Brock does have this domestic abuse charge. And we're not sure how the audience is going to feel about that.

So let's just give it to James and Rick now again. We'll just do it again. Because that kind of makes the season make more sense. And when I look at it like that, I'm like, well, she and I should definitely have this. I'm like, totally flip-up. I'm like, this is she knows. This is earned, you know?

Yeah, it is definitely she knows. But I'm kind of enjoying this ridiculous paper they're doing. I mean, it's totally stupid. And from the looks of the previews, it sort of sounds like they're going to bail on it, but they're still going to announce the engagement. It looks like it's going to be disaster. It looks like it's going to be disaster.

I don't know, but next week is the season finale. So we'll definitely be here for that. Thank you guys for being here with us. We sure love you, especially on video. Hi. And go get your tickets for the live show. And all of the crap ins shows coming up over at watchwickcrapins.com Don't forget the digital moment experience for moment house

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