Watch What Crappens - #1673 Summer House: Turkey and Tears

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

Summer House returns for a sixth season with a couple of new faces and one turkey obsessed brah. Kyle and Amanda fight, Lindsay flirts, and Andrea tries to recover from getting ghosted. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens, and for those of you who can't make the 2022 Golden Crappies Awards  in-person this year, experience it live digitally from the comfort of your own home at momenthouse.com/wwcSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on your bros. I'm Ronnie and that's been over there. I'm a little Benchuban.

Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good. How's it going with you, baby? Uh, I am just fabulous. Just fabulous. Good to hear. I am too. Because in a week, we are traveling to New York City for the Golden Crapie Awards. It's our 10th year together. We're celebrating 10 years, laughter and love. And we're going to be doing that Golden Crapies ceremony in New York at Town Hall. Very excited. Go get your tickets at WatchartCrapins.com.

We're also going to be doing a digital moment with moment house. They're going to be streaming the show live, so you can get tickets for that as well at WatchartCrapins.com. Also in the next two weeks, we're going crazy. We're going there straight to Jersey, straight to Boston. And then we've got a couple days off and then we're going to Nashville, Atlanta and Orlando. So go get tickets. That's going to be a middie two weeks. Lot of live shows will be showing up here on your feed and working. Can't wait to see you guys again. It's been a long time.

Yeah, it's gonna be absolutely wonderful. We're just like, I'm so excited. Okay, so today we are doing summer house because summer house returned. Yeah, it's back for six seasons. Who would have ever thought that it would make it to six seasons. But I feel like summer house is really, you know, it's really kind of like hit. It's, it's, it's hit. It's dried up over the past like year two. And I was thinking about it, Ronnie, I've had conversations with people where a lot of

people are, are like, you know, they've really come to love summer house and they're really feeling summer house. And a lot of people like to Winter House, even though Winter House was definitely not as good as Summer House, it still was kind of like a fun diversion. And whereas there's a lot of people who also are kind of like really they're over abandoned upon rules. And I was thinking about,

I think one of the reasons why Summer House works so well is because it does have that kind of surveillance aspect where they just capture so many random little moments that actually feel very real and not made for camera. And I think that like in this era with, I feel like sometimes I think that's something that we just like want right now. And Vanderbron Bruegel's sort of gives us

like kind of like pre-fab drama. And so it's my long way of saying that like summer house, And Vanderpump Rules gives us pre-fab drama. And so it's my long way of saying that summer house, even though I still love Vanderpump Rules, even when it's not even having the strongest season, summer house just makes me so happy because it just really speaks to my soul. My vapid, vapid soul.

Mm-hmm. Well, this is also your neck of the woods, you know? It's like fancy people in the ha- fancy people in the haptons basically, you know? The best, the best, the best, the best, the best. You want to be fancy people. Like they're not really that fancy. They're just like, you know?

Well, I just mean the ha- Fancy us in general, right? Yeah. It's like going to a nice restaurant when you're poor. Is that an interesting sense, you know? Yes. So let's see. So we begin with, well, first we begin with the coming this season, which

is basically Amanda sobbing the whole time, Kyle being verbally abusive and everyone wondering what the fuck they're doing, you know? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And then we get to two months later, or two months or earlier. Oh, by the way, if you want a trailer recap, we did recap that. It's over on this feed. We did it last week. So there you go. Yeah, it's actually in the main feed, but it's also, it's a crap and it's on demand. So if you actually, we recommend crap

it's on demand for every time we do the trailers because you actually can watch the trailer with us. So you have a visual frame of reference to whatever the heck we're talking about. So that was about, actually, about what we can have to go. So go just look that up. But yeah, we had a lot of fun dissecting this one as we always do. Two months earlier.

Tricksies and a new mood, I was worried because it was just music. There were no lyrics and I got really upset. It was just like No, she likes to be experimental on the summer house sometimes, you know. Yeah, she's outside smoking. So Kyle and Amanda are going to drive together, of course. And he's like, is this everything? I got my week-hater bag. Yeah, I was, by the way, a little upset. I was hoping that we would finally get the return of the theme song, which we did not have

it all last year. The theme song, which is my favorite theme song, because it just sounds like the singer, Dina Deadly, is just sighing in resignation. And it goes, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Is any of this real? So Amanda just gives Kyle a matter face big white eyes and like biting the toplet, pensively while she's still pouting. It's actually kind of a feat. And she's like, well, Kyle and just feeling we're already married. Kyle is like, yeah, it's been a long engagement. What was going to happen

when we actually get married? You're going to start to respect me? And then he's never gonna have him in Kyle. They also, by the way, do the thing that they've been doing for the past five years on the show, starting off the season by saying, can you believe we're actually getting married? Which is like, at this point, they just are saying that like at New Year's, every New Year's, we're, this is gonna be the year we actually get married. Yep. Yeah, it's gonna be another season of this.

Kyle and Amanda screaming and crying at each other. So then we get a Trixie song with some lyrics. Now, Trixie, her diction, not really getting it today, maybe it's just a slow start to the season, but she's like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I gotta call it today. Maybe it's just a slow start to the season. But she's like, I'm no, no, no, no, it's lame. I got a colored flame. Look what? Did she say, I know it's lame, but I got a colored flame. She might have. She's, you know, exploring, exploring metaphors, you know,

the gas running low and the propane. That would explain the lyric. She's just writing songs while she's trying to make eggs in the lyric. This is right. Ha, Ha, Ha. So I was trying to make eggs in the morning. So, um, we see Danielle jumping up and down, because of course Danielle's jumping up and down with like extreme excitement. The head Lindsay is like, um, my, your Uber is right. Because she just pulls up and Danielle's just so excited that she doesn't have to take the train for the season premiere. She's like, oh my god, thank God. Someone wants to pick pulls up. And Danielle is just so excited that she doesn't have to take the train for the season premiere.

She's like, oh my God, thank God. Someone wants to pick me up. Yes. Yeah, whenever I would come home to visit when I lived in New York, being in a car, I was like, oh my God, I'm in a car. And the mayor's voice isn't lecturing me about some bullshit. Welcome to the taxi. Do not forget to enjoy a beautiful city.

So also Lindsey drives a car that is so Lindsey. It's a big huge white Jeep. Yes. I've never seen anything more Lindsey. Mostly because the awkward handling of the car and then on the freeway, it sounds like this. And it's like a nuisance when it parks. So then, um, so Lindsay's like, how much traffic do you think we're gonna hit? And Daniel says, like at least four hours. Oh, no, P. Oh, no, P. So then Patience Sierra are driving together and serious like, oh my god, you're driving like watch out. And page says, when I'm a pedestrian, I'm like, dude, stop driving so fast.

And when I'm driving, I'm like, walk, just walk. And then when I'm just sitting, I'm like, really, you paid full price for that outfit? Wow. But then when I'm standing, I'm like, oh my God, I can't be sitting right now. It's just the circle of life. And serious like page, are you keeping rollers in your hair like when you go to the house or you're going to take those out at some point? And Paige is like, I'm thinking I'm going to take them out in a way and then like you can

do your makeup first and then I'll do mine and then you'll drive. And then from the back seat, there's this girl Maya who just like appears out of nowhere because well, I can also just drive us the whole way and like oh Okay, you didn't really work out there. Well I think you got the wrong car. I'm actually not your Uber, but I like you I like you you can join the cast So I'm back to Lindsay's car. Oh She she's like I am so excited for the summer. Everything is open. It's gonna be a good summer, Lindsey. A great, great summer of Daniel. So she's like, last year was hell if I'm honest.

And then we see clips of the sandwich, you know, when are you gonna make me a sandwich? How many sandwiches have you made me? So then she's like, but this summer I'm casually getting a guy Jason, but we're not exclusive and I'm independent and free-flying and I want to keep my options open. Oh Lindsay, wanting to keep her options open. She shows up to every season basically begging somebody and I want to keep my options open. Oh, Lindsay wanted to keep her options open. She shows up to every season basically begging somebody in a way, you know, like basically chasing a guy like she's keeping the options open. So Lindsay is like, live friend, die trying.

That's my mantra. Got me the Dackel contract. So now Lindsay is the first one to arrive at the house. And they so Lindsay and Danielle walk in. And this is like the first time in the history of summer house that they actually have a nice kitchen. I was shocked. They have like a nice island with all that like the marble kind of thing backsplashes. I feel like they've always had kind of outdated kitchens.

So I'm like, well, congratulations. You guys have really made it last year, you guys got a full proper reunion with couches. And this year, you got a fancy kitchen island. Yeah, you get some marble going on. Yeah. So then back with Kyle and Amanda driving, Amanda just lets out a huge bomb,

like a big burp. And he goes, wow. And she goes, who was that? Anybody seen who burned for a email? He's like, that's why it feels like we're married already. You don't even try to impress me anymore. Hmm. Yeah, this is not good. So, um, Lindsey, like Kyle's always trying to impress her.

I mean, when was the last time you pede your name in the snow? Oh, the last time we saw you. I know. It's a little bold to be talking about wanting to be impressed when you're not even going to come back with your fiance from partying later in the episode. So then Lindsay and Danielle are just like walking through this house. And what's kind of amazing is that this is a new house, this is a different house, and we have an upgraded kitchen, but it's so amazing how all of the houses to the years have like the same living room.

It's just like they all have the same layout with exception of last year, which was like an upside down house. So Lindsay's like, well, we're gonna have hundreds, but hundreds of parties that are on this summer. Yeah. I'm losing your mind. I tell you, I was like, do not hit the chandelier. That looks really nice. Oh my god, it's up a day. This will clean your ass.

And then Carl comes in. Oh, hello, hello. Oh, Garnt, we need to go. He's like, did you guys get a room? And she's like, we're too busy jumping on beds. And he goes, you're like, oh, hello now. I'm still got it, still got it. Oh, be careful, pin cans about to hit your head. Oh, do it. Oh, that got it. Still got it. Oh, be careful. And pin cans about to hit your head.

Oh, do wait. Oh, that really hurt. So they're talking about how gorgeous that is. And then we go back to Pagescar. And they park and everything. And they're driving, well, they're driving around the grand driveway. And it's here.

It's like, wow, it's cute. And page goes, it's not cute. It's like, wow, it's cute. And page goes, um, it's not cute. It's actually cramped. So yeah, I also want to say that before she drives up when they're looking around at the rooms, there's one room that they look at. And one's he goes, um, this room is definitely a little vibe. Definitely a little. So now he's not just Carly. He's a little. Yeah. That's how we know we're the closest. I've given him a different nickname. I've given him a nickname for his nickname.

Yeah. So they also page and page and see our in Maya walk in and they're all saying hi and you know, they're all meeting Maya. I think, yeah, this is Maya. She thought we were in Uber ride and we just decided to keep her. So let's say hi. This is Carl. Oh, look at you. She thought we were a new bar ride and we just decided to keep her. So let's say hi. This is a car. Oh Yeah, so Maya tells us about herself. She's like, well, I'm using New York with my boyfriend

She's a talker out of the side of her mouth and it cracks me up You know how they draw cartoon characters that will only move like one side of their mouth. Yeah I moved to New York with my boyfriend and that didn't work out, but my relationship with New York City is still going strong. Paige mentioned she comes to the Hamptons and it sounds fun. Plus, let's be honest, Beyonce spends her time in the Hamptons every summer.

So. I feel like this was the exact same way they introduced jewels to us like two years ago. It was like, I moved to the city for a boyfriend, but I'm staying in the city, even though we broke up. So we'll see. It seems like they cast this show nationally instead of, like why bother casting people just from New York,

who wanna come to the Hamptons, or who come to the Hamptons? Let's cast people from everywhere. So I know, in my spare time, I build igloos, and just thought it would be fun to come out actually they did have that Luke. So then Maya is like she's saying she's friends with Paige for SNS Sierra and Carl's like okay well so give me the one to hold on.

How do you know a page? Cause I'm just like New York City and like drinking outside. I mean, how else do you meet people? He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh do you meet people? I was like, oh my god, my life is officially over. Here lies Lito. Lies please. So then page shakes the classic car line and uses it on cars. He goes, carl, you look right by the way.

He's like, yeah, well, thanks. I'm like six months over and I'm feeling really good and I'm single. So, you know, which is funny because you know, I think it's funny just to sort of say just announce that you're single while talking about how you feel like you have to bribe. Yeah, it's a bright, it's really great for me and I'm single. Yeah, so that's, you know, that's why it looks so great. Yeah. Don't worry no matter how much changes about me, I'll always say thank you. Thank you. Never gonna change our pronunciation. Everybody calm down.

And Sierra's like, so are you happily single? Yeah, I think I'm finally ready to start dating, I think, which is funny, because I said, we can give every episode, every season. I'm finally ready to start dating, but I wanna go slow, I wanna go slow, but I'm ready. And he's like, I know that I like say this every year, but this month, I'm almost six months so,

I'm kicking us at work, and everyone tells me, I look like, I mean that I like say this every year, but this month, I'm almost six months so, I'm kicking us at work. And everyone tells me I look like, I mean, I'm ready to show people Carl Pro version 6.6 at, yeah, they gal. And then, I get that gal. They also do a montage of Carl declaring himself new and improved over the years, because yeah, I'm Carl 2.0.

I'm Carl, a covering bookboy. I'm the best up up for Britain'm Carl 2.0. I'm Carl, a covering bookboy. I'm the best up over Britain, Carl 3.0. Yeah, no, this time it's gonna be real. Yeah. Yeah, good. But as Vanderpump rules has already prepped us, being sober does not make you a better person. So let's thinkers crossed.

Thinkers crossed, Carl. So Sierra talks about how healthy he is is and then we just cut to Kyle and Amanda arriving and Kyle's walking up the walk and he goes, I got a poop. She's like, cool, Kyle, cool. So yeah, then they walk in the house and Amanda goes, are we a no shoe house? I'm like, so now, after six years, you guys suddenly care about keeping this house clean for one second. I was like, what's this, what's this,

what has there ever been a question about, whether or not the summer house is a no shoehouse? I think summer house is not only, not only is it a shoehouse, you're not allowed in unless you track in a certain amount of mud. Like there's a mud requirement you bring into that house. Yeah, well, I mean, compared to last year,

last year was like a prison complex. So they all hug and say, hi, blah, blah, blah. And Kyle's like, this is the last summer before I tied the knot. I've been working. Here's what's been going on with me. I've been working my ass off. Okay, so same.

The same as usually. This is my, this is the summer where I need to let loose. Okay, so same. The same as usually. This is my, this is the summer where I need to let loose. Okay, because I've been working on Loverboy, planning a wedding, pooping, pretty much every day at this point. And like, I need to go big or go home. I'm like, is there any event or time period where Kyle is not declaring he needs to go big or go home?

It's like Kyle, you gotta go to the DMV today. All right, but first I gotta waste it because I'm gotta go big or go home for the DMV. Getting some gas today. Go big or go home, I'm all right. I know. Let me do this keg stand before I go to mobile. Yeah, it's so nice to see so many years past and nobody change at all. It just like reminds you that life is ever changing and never changing, right? Because Kyle's starting the season talking about how much he works. Amanda is starting the season talking about how she just wants Kyle to be worthy of her. Carl's talking about how he's a new person. Lindsay is talking about how she's just single. She's finally single and ready to date. Yeah, and

Paige is starting off just Well, she's just she's just probably just you know making little snarky jokes in her head Which is pretty pretty much how she starts every season too. Yeah, she's in a cute outfit swiping on her phone I don't have to give you anything every season. Okay So um he's drinking lover boy and Maya is showing her support of a new friend by drinking it too, but everyone else is like, fuck that. We're drinking some wine. Okay. I know. I have no lover boy 10 times a day. She has no idea how much that's gonna be forced out of the course of the summer. So we have no Luke. I was very sad that we had no

Luke on this premiere because he's in Minnesota, but instead, Andrea is gonna come and then Paige is like, oh my god, Andrea, he's the hottest person I've ever met in my life. Well, we met in Vermont and we had a hot and heavy vacation romance. And after Vermont, going out in the city, Andrea asked me to immediately stop seeing other people. And I wanted that in Vermont, but then in New York, I still wanted to be single. It's like in Neemons when I really want a $5,000 dress, but then I really want to see if it's a TJ Maxx for 30. Well, it's like that thing where like, there's just like really this great look that you

just like want and then you go to the store, you go to Neemons and it's like sold out. And then like you go back two months later and then they have it but at that point like fashions have gone. I'm surprised by this. I thought Andrea was going to totally flake so I'm surprised to see that he was like and now we marry because I think his visa is running out and he's ready to get her to Italy where he can lock her in a cage because that was his thing like I just want to all my life I dreamed of meeting American girl and bringing her to Italy I'm like, oh

Cajun Yeah, I Was surprised to I thought I thought that he you know Andrea to many reads is like total fuckboy So I thought like you know he was a fuck boy on winter house and I thought that pages concerns were very valid And I thought he'd just continue to be a fuckboy in New York So then hearing that he actually wanted to just like become very very serious right away I was like, oh, I was not expecting that but it makes total sense like of course He's probably gonna try to like love he was already love bombing her and of course he's gonna try to like get super exclusive

Really really really quickly and then they have some sort of like codependent bullshit. And she's just like, no, I'm not about that. So I was really happy that you're that she denied him. Yeah, she goes to him. So she's like, well, trust me, it's good. Cause Lindsay's of course asking questions. She's like, I mean, is it not gonna be awkward? And she's like, well, it'll be a very interesting summer. Not because you're here, no offense.

Tuckled contract. So then, Andrea arrives with Alex, the new guy. And Alex is like, I'm a trainer. Hi, I'm a trainer. And I talk really fast, but they spliced all my lines together for some reason. So do I leave long pauses? I don't know.

I don't know. Did you notice that in his diary? He's so annoying. He talks really quickly, but they're splicing everything he's saying every word. I mean, it sounds like he's so broy. I was sitting on the trailer episode that I follow him on Instagram because he's hot. And then I was like, I was actually happy that he was sort of like broy and annoying on

this premiere because I was like, oh good. Like I love when someone who's hot, like, when they're personality makes them less hot sometimes because you was like, oh good. Like I love when someone who's hot, like when their personality makes them less hot sometimes, because you're like, oh good. I'm like, I don't have to be under your spell. You know, like, oh good, you're annoying. I had it, I suspect it, but now I know. So he, he's like, comes on super bro, and he's like,

oh, yeah, hey, what's going on? Hot. So, so that comes across as like kind of nerdy. I think he's like, takes working out like very seriously. He's like, I need to have this many ounces of protein. And they, even though he can't really do the math, I mean, I don't want to give him too much credit. But, I just, I just used about him.

I mean, he, I mean, yeah, there's a nerdy part, but there's also this element of like, he said, he said, like there were a few things he was kind of like obnoxious about over the course of the episode. And I'm like, I feel like we're just, we're maybe on the path to getting like a new Jordan in the house, like just maybe.

Yeah, I think he's a one season. Calling it now. He gets along. I think so too. One season energy. I'm getting a little bit of a, you know what energy I'm calling it now. He gets a lot of fun. I think so too. One season energy. I'm getting a little bit of a, you know what energy I'm getting from him. I don't even remember his name,

the guy from season two, who was like basically like a tapestry on the wall. He was, he was, he did so little. Remember that guy? He was like a Carl's friend or something. He met a friend. He met a friend, bro.

Yeah, yeah, I met a chana. So anyway. So yeah. So we go to Andrea and Alex coming and they come in. Hello. Oh my God. Him and those short pants. I just can't.

His little. I can't. I can't. Andrea. I'm sorry. I'm not. I'm so happy that I'm not under the Andrea spell. I never have been he's like hello

And he sees page he's like oh hi pigeon. I'm like how dare you call her a pigeon. Okay, that is not she is Elevated bird, okay She get this you know, oh my god. That's how I say y'all. Oh my god me too. Let's get married totally I'm hungry. I'm gonna yell I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.

Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or born in Hong Kong and then you know I was actually from like Switzerland and I picked my dad as swits and then like I lived in Singapore my amy and San Francisco

you know and he called us wow a worldly man. And also here's another bad side for Alex when he said so like oh you're a hugger. What's up. He's a one-stop-a-mustl tea. Yes so he tells us if I want to meet attractive girls, of course, I stick with Andrea, but I do okay on my own too. I'm a producer says, well, would you consider yourself a ladies man? He goes, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no like if I want to meet attractive girls of course I stick with Andrea and they just splikes together. Dictation.

You know what it is actually he looks kind of uncomfortable on camera. I don't think he's at ease in front of the cameras yet. So maybe that's just what like we're picking up on. Watch him be like the cameras yet. So maybe that's just what like we're picking up on. Watch him be like the nicest guy. Watch him be like just like this lovely, lovely man that we're just ripping apart. At least I'm ripping apart. He's gonna be lovely. Watch that. Damn it. So now they're choosing rooms and Andreas like, oh my room is really small. Something else is not really small though, huh? And then he goes, all right, Mr. Verona. Love your copying. So it's like, love your star cross.

Star cross lover plays. Love your suicide plane. So he's like, this is the first time that I'm not going to go back to Italy for the summer. Right now, I'm on a visa and I cannot leave the country. I mean, and he's doing his diary room sash in, like, a really tight button up shirt that's buttoned all the way down to his back. Yeah. It's like a song or something. He's so cheesy. And I'll, you know, it's also funny. I was, I saw his watching. I feel like whenever I do on dress voice, I always make a talk like this. But actually his voice is like so deep and gravely from like smoking is like We're really really need to revise my my take on him

Well, that one sounded like like an old drunk stumbling out of a pub in my London somewhere and I think I actually just did I think I actually just did Gary from below Dexeling by accident. My lines are crossed. So then Amanda and Kyle get of course the biggest room because we're in combo. So she's like, I don't want to hear your ass complaining about a mattress. So try it out. He's like, actually, this is a good mattress. And if I come in here, stumbling wasted,

which I will every night, I might impale myself on this headboard. So I made that board. The headboard is so severe. What is going on with that headboard in this like very stately, wathed, speed Hampton's house? And there's this like very severe wooden headboard

that the owner's probably spent like $40,000 on. It's actually, I think it's a cool idea. It's like a slice of a tree, you know, where they make the whole table out of the one long slice of the tree. And so it's all curved and stuff. But they put it. They got a really sharp tree.

Where it's like a tree knife at the end of it. So if you fall on that thing, you're just fucking dead. You're impaled. No, I know, like Kyle and Amanda were fighting so hard in this episode, because that headboard just probably gave so created so much anxiety. I mean, like, I, you know what they say, if you paint your room yellow, you're going to be more anxious or angry or something like that. If you have a headboard like that,

you're gonna fight with whoever you're nearby. It's just what's gonna happen. You can't have a bed that's like stabbing the fungshway of the room. So Alex is at the front door with Lindsay. And she's like, Well, you carry my singing. Lindsay trying to be flirtatious.

And he's like, okay, okay, I'll carry it. And she goes, Let me see if you can curl it. So he does. He starts curling it. She is maximum. And then she's like disgusted by him doing it. She's like, okay. So then Kyle's just like talking to himself in the room and Amanda's like, Hey, you're talking to him. She's like, he's like, man, I'm not you. Oh. And then Andrea, he's like trying to romance page again. He's like, bitch, bitch. I've got to your stuff, a bitch.

Ah. So then Daniel and Carl have a Daniel and Carl scene. This is so bad. This is so, this is, yeah, this is a very Daniel and Carl Sien. Yeah, so they're in my guest's room and it has an exit to like the out the backyard or whatever. Screen goes, well, look, I can go outside. She says, um, let's not go outside now because it's like raining. I think it's cool to be outside in the rain. So look, listen to that. From your greeting us. Hi, Frogs. Okay, let's go back in. It's my school's like that. Yeah, it's cool to go outside. It's right. Oh, don't you know that?

God, so many things. I've learned other ones over. So, uh, page is like, page is unpacking. And she has a quintessentially page observation. She goes, it doesn't matter which one I'm in, it's the room I'm getting ready in. So then Sierra burps really bad. It's a very burpy episode. And she's like, oh, excuse me. So I find that Alex guy really hot. But then I find the muscle shirt repulsive. And Carl, I'm just like, oh my god, Carl looks good. So good. Okay, we had to pick right now. Carl. And then he was like, yeah, I'm single, right? They start doing that like that whisper thing. That's when you know they're really gossiping

because they start doing that like, and then Carl, oh my god, he's like so hot right now. And he's single and he's tall. And like he said, he's going out in the rain is cool. So like, I think maybe you should go out in the rain. Yeah, I'm like, going out in the rain is cool. So like, I think maybe you should go out in the rain. Yep, I like go out in the rain. Oh, so you need to assess the situation with Austin. And Sierra tells us that they had an amazing winter romance,

but even though their chemistry is undeniable, he's made it clear that he's just not ready. He's not ready to stop fucking Rando's in Charleston bars. I feel like when it comes to assessing the situation with Austin, um, give me one second here and move on. Move forward. That's the assessment. It just came back from the world assessment headquarters. When dealing with Austin, move on. Why would you got all these hot guys in this house? Why would you ever, ever hold out for Austin? Yeah. No, don't do it. So they're talking about like now, do you want to be with Andrea? Are you into that? And she's like, Oh, um, are you into this six foot

four Italian model? Gee, I don't know. But last time I saw him, I was like, uh, mine, it's like six in the morning, buying and then I never saw him again. And then Andrea brings the log of Janie, He's like, ah, do I smell good? Do I smell good? And she's like, yeah, fine. Yeah, okay. He's, by the way, I'm shocked. How good this outfit looks on you, Paige.

Man, she said, oh, I miss you. And he says, I miss you. And she says, I miss you. And he goes, you did not miss me. But I miss you. So then you did not miss me, but I missed you So then we go to Lindsay and Andrea So she's like um and Trina you want to help me unpack? This is your job underwear. Oh my god Lindsay Jesus

Lindsay assigns a lot of jobs this episode to you by the way like I feel like almost every other scene is saying Gotta give you job. Okay. Can you unpack my underwear from where Andrea just packed it? Thank you. Yeah, it's like her way of flirting. Oh, you want to curl my sink? Hey, you know what, curl my underwear. Huh? Do you want a job? Okay, I had a bag of M&Ms that was accidentally open, so can you find out all the M&Ms and take them out of my luggage. Thank you. He's like, oh I love bras, I'm a boob man. I'm like, oh I didn't know that about you. I have a question. How are you feeling about being here? The whole page thing. He's like, oh yes, well, well I saw her and it reminded me of the good times. I was happy to see her but I have to be honest. After a month we saw each other in the city, and we kind of stopped talking.

Ah, I'm just a male model wounded in the heart by beautiful woman. Ah. And she goes to him, basically. And he's like, I cannot tell with her, does she care? Does she not care? We're going to spend the whole summer together. So if it happens, it would happen here.

Okay, no, sir, she saw through you. It's not going to happen. So Kyle, Kyle's going, Amanda, I'm taking more of a precautionary P. Okay, babe, this is like a million dollar closet. Now, you know how you were like honey, let's get out, nag, nag, nag, you know, will you be happy without a closet like this? No, told you so. Guess I have to work more. So he's basically blaming his like crazy partying on Amanda, because because of Amanda, he has to work hard, and because he worked so hard, he has to drink really hard.

So basically this is all gonna be Amanda's fault. So that's a lot of. So much on that drink, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I, am I But whenever they're like, they can go out again. They just show like the cell phone footage of them jumping around for two minutes. And then they're, I know. But like for them, they're excited because last summer it was just like stuck at that table with tacos for like the 12th night in the row and like Hannah fighting with Kyle about garbage. So yeah, they go to the car and Carl's like, Oh, God, 20, 21 should be fought. I'll see what I did there. It took Carl's line. I, God, 20, 21, should be fought. I'll see what I did there at the Carl's line.

I remix it for the future. Oh, so they're a drive the restaurant and they're like asking if Jason is gonna come for the weekend, which is Lindsay's, you know. Now, Jason is now, quote unquote, Lindsay's friend and Lindsay basically, I think this is paid or Amanda asking Lindsay about this. And Lindsay Bayes says he's saying how she told Jason not to come this weekend because it's, it's,

essentially, they're like, it's a fizzling and she's like, yeah, it's, it's pretty much fizzling. All right. She's like, don't want a boyfriend. So then the waitress comes and she's like, hi, can I get you guys some drinks? I'm not going to write anything down. And they're like, this, that, this, that, this, that, this, that, this, that. She's like, okay, okay. Okay, it's gonna be real fun serving.

You have to be right back. Yeah. So Sierra is saying how this is, she feels like this is her first family experience because last year she doesn't count. This is her first, you know, group dinner out of the restaurant, right? And then Maya says, yeah, and I've like never been to the Hamptons and Carl goes,

so you're all welcome to Hamptons officially. I'm like, you know, that's, not here, Maya just now. Like, yeah, so I was like, this is going to be Karlyn Jules all over again. I guarantee it. Yeah. You just fully ignored this woman. He just said that she'd never been to the Hamptons. He's like, oh, wow. Well, so you're welcome. The first time ever being in the Hampton officially now. I'm serious. Like I just got a one year leave. So I'm officially in New York or everybody and they're, wow, yay.

And so Maya's like, guys, this is very important because I'm the newbie. So where is everyone at in their relationship? I'm single. And Lindsay goes, what? at in their relationship. I'm single. And Linda goes, what? Maya really is already showing promising signs as a reality star because she asked the group, where's everyone at in their relationship status. And then she proceeds just to talk about herself. Yeah, she came out of a popular engagement. Yeah. She can see she's not going to get it. She's got a really push in to get to become friends with this cast, right? Like she's guys, guys, let's talk about relationships. She's

yelling over the table because she won't get anything done otherwise. So good for her so far, points for her so far. She has to. I mean, she's like, I just got out of an engagement. Oh, wow. Hey, C.R.A. by the way, I heard you just got up and engagement so sorry to hear about that. Oh, no, it's me. It's Maya. It's Maya talking, Carl. So she, Maya was engaged for five years and a man that's like, oh my God, she was engaged two years longer than me.

And Maya says, and that's why I expect you guys to give me the best summer ever. Oh, yeah. So anyway, I'm gonna have the shrimp cocktail and then we're gonna share some appetizers. That's cool. I'm not the waitress. I'm a new cast member. Oh, okay. Oh, she backs. I was gonna ask CR as it cool, put in the fridge in the back. I cast them. I'm a car. I'll see you. Okay.

Uh, the cake says welcome to finally being in New Yorker and you're welcome to the hands of the first time. And congratulations on getting out of a relationship that last for five years. We don't know if that last part's true, but we thought we'd congratulate her for that in a way no matter what. So Amanda makes a comment like, wow, she was engaged two years longer than us. I guess I have help now and you see Kyle get kind of mad at that.

And so my is like, so which are wedding you getting married in New York? And she's like, no, actually now it's my parents backyard and new jersey. Can you believe it's in three months, guys? Page goes, um, yeah, we know. backyard and new Jersey. Oh, can you believe it's in three months, guys? Page goes, um, yeah, we know. We know. Yeah, we know, we know. We're pretty aware of it.

And Kyle's like, wow, she keeps pressuring me to buy a house and get a kid and all this stuff. And like, there's just like a lot to unpack. You don't just wind up in the house like Amanda. It's like, you don't even understand finances. Just like a girl, like girls, I don't really understand like jewelry and makeup and my right guys high five high five to the waitress um again I'm a new cast member. So Amanda's like hi all storm and so my eyes like hi everybody it's me Maya hi um who's single here let's talk about that. So Alex is single.

He was in a relationship for three years. And in case you wanted to hear more about that, too bad. Because now we're moving on to Danielle, who is still dating Robert. And she says that Robert is the love of her life. And they've been like living together. And they've been living together for a year and dating for a year.

The fact that I'm even saying, we, that's a big deal. We even share a pass for the L.I. Double R. It's just wonderful. She's like, I'm so independent. Like, I mean, I can't even believe I'm with somebody. You're so independent. How long are you trying to get Carl, even though he obviously was like, no.

No, ma' no, no. Yeah. She, I think that Robert, you know, look, when you meet the one that just stays there, no matter what, keep him. Okay. So what I tell myself, I haven't found one of those yet. Listen, he's a professional chef. He's a professional chef.

So Danielle knows what's up. She's, she's doing it all correctly. Right. So then, um then let's see. Is she a, that's too weird. I'm not going to say it. So then my, it's like, so Paige, your single page, right? We're still on the single thing.

Everybody's still with me. I'm the new girl. So Paige is like, yes, I am single. And Andrea is single too. Right, Andrea. He's like, oh, yes, single am single and Andrea is single to you right Andrea He's like, oh, yeah single single and ready to please clean card. Please somebody Yeah, he's very single, okay, so Kyle's like what about you Lindsay and Lindsay says that she and Jason aren't talking Are they weren't talking but now they're talking and And I mean, it's like, and so what's

the status with that? And Lindsay's like, um, it's called dating. I'm dating. I'm seeing somebody. And now like Lindsay is in Stamad, right? And girls like Lindsay, come on. Like, why are you doing that? I mean, congratulations on officially being to the Hamptons too. I mean, what is it? And she's like, um, why am I the one on the hot scene? Oh, you're not on the hot scene. I mean, you're so ridiculous. Excuse me, waitress, can you just get an ice back for her so you could apparently it's too hot?

I am not the waitress. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that. So, Klaus, like, sounds like Lindsay is seeing someone and looking forward to finding someone this summer and I'm very happy for Lindsay and she's I'm a thank you oh you're welcome you know a fuck you fuck you yeah thank you for supporting me fuck you fuck me don't ever like yell at me I'm Lindsey. Oh, settle down like seriously. Listen, this is a man speaking. So therefore, settle down. Okay. Seriously. So what the fuck car, Carl, where are you coming

from me right now? It's like just so kukko, you know, because he's not at all. And so cause like, yes, we got it. She's awful. And it's fine. any kind of fun alcohol or sex life in a marriage. How am I up limit? That's because God, Lindsey Jesus Christ. What are you talking about? Okay. So Danielle tells us Lindsey seems like she's crazy, but she's going through stuff. And when we find out we're going to understand. So then they decide they're gonna go out and party pages like, I think it's a missed opportunity if we don't go out right now. So.

Yeah, so they go out to go dancing. And then like, they're dancing. And then like Carl, at like 12, Carl comes home around 1230. He's like, oh, I'm going to bed. Lindsay going off a dinner on me. yeah, I think it's strange, but like I know that like talking about it, it's almost gonna go worse.

So like, you can see the eyes turn and you just know, like we'll just address this another time, like she did not look good by the way, no. So then, so the rest of it, well, Lindsay comes home with him, right? So then, Lindsay, I think it's just, oh, no, everyone comes home at 2 a.m. Okay, well,

they come home in three parts. So then some other people are partying, some people come home late. So Lindsay is like sobbing in her room after she's taken a shower and goes to bed. And Danielle's in the kitchen and she's like, guys, you love that. I so love her boy from the club.

Like, as if we didn't have a million in the home, I can't believe me, an independent woman. Taking home lover boy like that. All the women who are independent, throw your lover boys at me. Oh my gosh, she's here, it's happening so soon Beyonce. So they're all sort of like walking in and stuff and like you know they're just they're just like chatting

and Andreas flirting with Paige and things so pretty much everyone's back except for Kyle. Kyle is still at the club and that the guy that landed is just noticing. She's like, she's like you left your phone somewhere. You know, she looks around and goes, Um, where is Kyle? And they're like, I think he's at the club. And then Alex goes, Kyle has not arrived. I could have told you that.

Oh, thanks, Alex. She's like, um, he isn't the cloud alone. I have to call him. So she does and it gets sent to voicemail. And then she calls six times. And then she goes into the to you page and CR's room and they're just like laying there swiping on their phones. And she's like, guys, this is triggering for me.

I need to find my phone and set an alarm. Like you're holding your phone as you are the alarm, okay? So she calls and calls and calls. It's like number nine, call number 16, number 18, number 21, pick up your phone, call! Number 25 and it's 3 o' 9 a.m. And Kyle is still at the club, partying, but admittedly, this is strange.

I actually think this is strange. Your entire group has gone home, but you're still at the club. And he's just partying and partying and partying. At Amanda's club, he's got connections at, right? They're serving Leatherboy at the club. And when they show him, he's taking selfies with people in TV lighting. You know what I mean?

You can tell that there's a really bright light. So I think people are like, oh my God, it's a celebrity in the club and getting pictures and he's just eating it out. He may be, but he's not answering his phone either, and it's Beyonce's calling. So, which, I mean, she's being crazy, but also just answered the phone

and then she'll probably will like, chill out. Well, I think, you know, so Amanda then starts breaking his shit in the bathroom and page and Sierra are just like, hang on, bed, just like gossiping and Sierra was like, who's up? Oh my god, it's got to be Amanda. Hold on, let me listen. Hmm. By the sound of the vibrations in that room, It sounds like the reverberations are bouncing off of

a top that you may have purchased at full price. Yeah, that's Amanda. That's Amanda. That isn't oral beat diamond head. I just heard crack against. That was full price. I could hear it. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So then she marches out with Kyle's luggage and she throws it out on the on the patty. And so then page an Amanda page and Sierra go to check on her and she's in bed like, what's wrong? I can't get on the Kyle so I broke steve in the bathroom and then put his luggage on the porch Do you really think he's doing something my biggest fear was that he would get so drunk on night that he would cheat on me And we wouldn't even and wouldn't even know and then that happened and that's what happened And my second biggest fear is that I would still stay with him and that happened too

my second biggest fear is that I'm still staying with him and that happened to my third biggest fears is someone else is gonna show up as the guacamole person and the one on my enemy my fourth biggest fear is that you guys are just pick up some randa who thought you were a newbie driver and replace me and I think that's coming true to you just hear Maya pass by. Oh, the women. So serious. Like, um, you need to ask yourself some serious questions. I mean, just like, um, I want to cry right now, but like, I'm not physically able to. Like, I've cried. I want to cry right now, but actually I'm just laughing, which is sort of weird, but it's really hilarious. I can't do it anymore. Yes, you can. You've been doing it now for how many years and you're going to do it for another 20. Okay, stop. Don't go by the car and then complain about the car the whole time that you own the car. You bought the car.

There were plenty of cars out there to test drive that you could totally afford and you're in this one. You chose it be quiet. So, and then she tells a story that like this happened a few weeks ago that I was so bad that she called her mom up and that her mom called the car service to pick up Amanda and took Amanda back to New Jersey, I think, or took Amanda somewhere, maybe home. And Paige is like, and where was he?

And she's like, he was just out. He wouldn't come home. And then she also reveals that they have a contract that if Kyle gets too drunk and they wind up calling off the wedding, he owes her parents every single penny that I guess they spent on the wedding. This is crazy that Kyle is making the parents pay for the wedding. I know it's tradition that sometimes the bride has parents that will pay for the wedding. This is crazy that Kyle is making the parents pay for the wedding. I know it's tradition that sometimes the bride has parents that will pay for the wedding. I get it. But Kyle

is like always in a brand new luxury vehicle. He's like, I mean, he's really putting out there that he's rich. He's talking about work, work, work all the time. So that's crazy. And also to give the parents who don't approve of you at all, that much power is crazy. Like in your relationship, I mean, it's just this whole thing is like, so yeah. So Amanda is talking about this contract and everything. And you just see page sitting there, just like mentally hitting like command as command as command as in her brain. She's like, must save all of this because this has to be gossiped about tomorrow. Oh my god. Save, save, save, auto save, save, save. Oh my god, there's more save, save. This is the first night where Heron is already doing this.

I'm going to control all delete this whole thing. Now, please, now I'm not 10 yet. I'm just going to control us, control us, control us, control us, control us. Hold on, this is really good. You know, that's the Sierra and I really need to talk about this tomorrow So just like give us a little bit more a little bit more please. Okay, control us So Kyle returns at 359 which I'm so glad it wasn't for he'd really be fun So the doors locked because Amanda's tried to lock him out No one closed the little Left side of the door or the right side of

the whichever side of the door you have to put the pin in the ground because they're removing stuff in right. So he just pushes them both and they both open. He's like, whoa, baby. And he goes to the kitchen and there's like a box of cookies. So he's sort of like a rummaging dude that he's like, oh, male cookies. Wow. Which I would be so annoyed if there was someone like howling at 4 a.m.

in the house while I was trying to sleep. Yeah, the sky all wasted talking to his food. So then the girls are like, oh my God, pretend you're asleep. So they all pretend that they're asleep in the bed. There's three of them in the bed. So then Kyle comes in and he's like, what? Yeah. And he's just like swaying back and forth trying to figure out

what he's seeing. You know, it's like, oh, those three amandes. And then he's like, what the hell? So he goes to the bathroom and then all the girls get up and run out of the room. Yeah, like, we have to go. We have to go. Okay, we have to go. We have to go.

So then Amanda gets up to actually and she just goes, there's a spare bedroom and she just goes to the spare bedroom, which by the way is like, one of the nicest bedrooms of the house I have to say. And Kyle's like, are you shitting me? So he goes to sleep, Amanda goes to sleep, and Sierra and Paige are in bed, and they're like, I'm just baffled.

They have like serious issues. Oh my God, we have so much to talk about. And Kyle in the bathroom, because there's broken shit everywhere. And you know, what the fuck have you done breaking my ship really? I'm not the one hiring a fucking therapist. So it's not good. And then in the morning, Kyle's look at just still sitting outside on the stoop and Carl wakes up early, because we learn earlier in the episode that his whole thing is that he wakes up early to work out. He's like, yeah, I start my morning by meditating

and then I go to an A meeting and I say, hi, I'm Carl. You all look great today, Bottle. So he tells us that he needs this daily routine to survive because he almost drank himself to death and so he walks out the door and he sees the luggage. He's like, whoa, this luggage does not look good, Bottle. So he brings the luggage in. And then Alex, so Alex gets up, right?

So there's only a few people who get up early. And Alex is one of them. And he comes, he comes out and kind of looks around and then just starts doing the most of not just seeing a human kin to you, which is double snapping around the house. I just fucking, not even the West Side Story snapping, or it's like...

It's a song. It's just like... Pfft. Pfft. It's just like... Pfft. Pfft. You're so right.

You're so right. He totally did that. Oh, that makes me crazy. Like, I'm nervous. So I'm gonna make noise. Oh. And then he goes to kitchen and he, cooks two pounds of turkey for himself. I think the reason why I got annoyed with Alex is

because I've just met too many people who are like really like very fitness oriented and they just kind of operate on their own schedule and they're just, they don't, they're totally inflexible. And so like, you know, there may be a group meal, but it's not in their time schedule So they've already eaten like five pounds of turkey right beforehand and then they're like eating their own weird bowl of like broccoli or something at the group lunch or something I don't know for some reason it like a really bothers me. Oh

You're gonna have fun traveling with me. I'm gonna be I can't eat right now. It's not me So let's see Andrea wakes up with a cartoonion so I actually goes to sleep with a feather on his on his lips so he snores it floats up into the air and then what if it's back down there's an actual violinist in the room because The curtain suck into the room and then back out So Danielle and Carla in the kitchen and she's like, oh my god, you're up early too Yes, yeah, I'm awake since six o'clock to run and meditate. I walk out the front door and there's a large suitcase up I'm all looks like Hals And she's like God guess they had a night and so he's gonna cook Oh, and she's like, God, guess they had a night. And so he's going to cook her bacon.

And they're like, oh my God, it's going to wake up everybody happily this morning. And it does actually because Lindsay wakes up and then Kyle, like Kyle actually walks in the kitchen, which is shocking because he went to sleep the latest. And he was the drunkest. And Carl's like, oh, hey, Carl. I found your luggage outside. Yeah, I found it.

Can I look up early? Oh, look up early. I woke up at 7 a.m. to bed. I don't know if you know about that. It's my new personality. I'll look up early. Yeah. He's like weird because I brought that in.

So I'd love to know how that worked. And then he just rocks out. Daniel's like, I know this isn't supposed to be funny, but that shit's funny. And he wheels it back to his room, but it's unzipped and I don't think he realizes. And like, just like all the clothes, just like topple out just like perfectly. And the music's like, aren't, aren't, we're all world. So Patience here are in bed and they're both swiping, you know, as they do. And they're talking about how last night, it was fucked.

It was fucked. It was fucked, really fucked. And she's like, I mean, she laid out so many issues. And Paige says, yeah, I mean, they have a contract that if he fucks up, they have to pay. He has to pay the parents. Yeah. I mean, like, they have a contract. I know. We held on a second. I'm just going to scroll down. OK, down, down, down, down. OK, new page. Guess what?

They have a contract. And if it's gone to that point, why do you even want it anymore? I mean, that's kind of just like you go to a store and you see a look that you like and just so expensive. And you're like, why am I doing this to myself? Like, why? And Sarah says, if she needs a contract, she's not getting married.

Well, don't marry Austin then, because I think Austin will have a trust that his parents are like, you're getting a contract, aren't you? You're getting a contract or you're all being a company is ours, all ours. That was the contract you signed that said, if we get you a being company, if you don't sign a contract and you get married the beer company's all

Sometimes we just go up to Austin and say you pour on fortunate souls Except the differences that we directed towards us. We're the poor unfortunate souls. We have to deal with this son of ours So then Andrea brings them coffee and he's like good. Do you like sugar? Like you know this by now stupid get out hopper. So get out. So then they get there. They're like down in the kitchen and Sierra's like, uh, who made a pound of ground turkey?

And page is like, yeah, and like 10 a.m. It's like a way to really work around turkey. Am I right? Yeah, this looks like a boy who works out. And then Alex just shows up. Oh, yeah, there's my turkey. Cool. Yeah, this looks like a boy who works out. And Alex just shows up. Oh yeah, there's my turkey, cool. Yeah, so here, yes.

My turkey's still here. Paige goes, weird flex. Weird flex, but okay. So then he tells us, he's like, I'm a trainer, but so I have to have protein, like 12 ounces of protein. So like if I have 12 ounces of protein, like you carry the wine and the two and they start putting

the beautiful mind floating math up on the screen flying around and they give him a minute and he goes, I'm not really sure, but did I say ounces, 12 ounces, ounces? I'm the producers, but why does that all have to be protein? He's like, I'm a human being. Cause I need to live stupid face, stupid non-Turkey eating face. Yeah. So then, um, page Sierra and whoever else, who else is down there with them? Maya. Maya, Maya, Maya is actually cooking page and Maya are at the stove and page is like, so I watched a YouTube video about how to make the perfect scrambled eggs a few weeks ago

and because that's like just like what my life has come to, I'm just like so glad we hired a chef. She's like, um, cast member, I'm like cast member here. So Carl goes to talk to Lindsay in her room and she's like, could you help me, huh? I'm like, okay, that's it. I'm like, do you do anything by yourself?

She just waits for people to walk by her room so she can give them the task. So she's like, how'd you sleep? She was, oh, definitely, and Brad missed out the sleep. And he says, yeah, I came in and you know, I know it seemed like I was coming after you a little bit, which it didn't at all

But he's sweet for starting it like that and she's like, I mean, God, I said I'm single Yeah, but people were serious. I knew it took that as an attack like people care about you. They're just curals So then she explained she's like you don't understand what happened basically. I've been with Jason and then happened. Basically, I've been with Jason. And then she's like, remember when I told you, I thought I might have COVID because I had all these weird symptoms. And I was like, either I've got, I got something from the vaccine or I found out, or I'm pregnant. And then right after that, I found out I was, I was six weeks pregnant. And he's like, what? And so she says that she found out on a Monday

that she was pregnant and by Tuesday, she was having a miscarriage. And by Wednesday, she was in the emergency room for five hours. I mean, geez. I know that. I was not expecting that. I was not.

I got in my heart really went out to her about that because that's like, oh my God, that must have just been an emotional roller coaster and like also very devastating. And she says that she didn't want to tell Carl because she just didn't want to put it on Carl. And she never even got a chance to emotionally wrap her mind around the idea that she was pregnant.

And she did tell Jason, and they weren't even trying. And basically, she said that she would have loved to have had the child and that she thought it was so cool to feel that and she never thought that it was going to happen. And something that she always wanted and she says that Jason was wonderful. But it was a really, really very emotional moment that I was really not, in the episode. And, you know, I thought when they were like, oh, well, something's up with Lindsay, I thought it was just gonna be like, the usual Lindsay, like she, like she and Everett had gotten back together and we're gonna fight or something like that. So it was sort of shocking that it was this like,

very real, serious thing that had happened to her. Yeah. So there, you know, so of course, like, oh my God, I had no idea, you know, and so they hug and They're good friends. Yeah, that's a good friendship. So then we go back to the kitchen with eggs and so Sierra's like, oh my God page Does eggs look pretty good? And she's like, I'm stunning gorgeous might I say Grant? My nine might I think And Maya's like, did you remember to solve the eggs? Oh God, whoops.

I guess I forgot to be that part. I forgot that part of the video. So Amanda, okay, so then Amanda Kyle. So Kyle's in bed and Amanda comes in and kneels on the bed. She gets in the bed and kneels on it and then just goes, oh, my just a full yoga like face down in the mattress. he's like God what the heck where are you making this such a big thing? Where were you last night? God what do you mean where was I I was at Southampton social babe like that's why he broke all my shit

And trust it's night one how fucked up were you last night dude? It's not enough not enough for this She's like, what did we talk about? What have we been going through? This is bullshit And he's like what's bullshit is walking into my bathroom and walking on glass in the middle of the night She's like do not turn this around on me Yeah, you get you get that turned around on you That's crazy. She just goes in and breaks shit all over the bathroom Yeah, you get that turned around on you. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it.

You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. So she's like, because I told you I'm not fucking doing this, Kyle. How are you gonna put me through this on the first night, Kyle?

He's like, oh my god, I'm not putting you through anything. I'm sick. And finally, he's just like, I'm sick and tired. Why am I the one that has to control my drinking? What about you? I'm thinking, I'm talking about this and think I'm being called. He's like, God, I stay out after one in the morning. And now we're having

a miserable fucking summer because Kyle's biggest fear is that it's going to be an on fun summer. You know, it's like if the fun isn't happening, he's like devastated. And they're a big thing in their relationship is like, I can't commit because will I still be fun? Well, I still have fun summers. And then it's like, Oh my God, maybe I can't commit. Look, babe, we're still having fun summers and we're committed. And that's like, can I be married and have a fun summer? That's like, oh my God, maybe I can't commit. Look babe, we're still having fun summers and we're committed. And that's like, can I be married and have a fun summer? That's what I call. So he's like screaming, screaming and pages

in the kitchen going, oh wow, wow, oh my God. Okay, hold on, oh God, my disk is out of space. I can't save, I can't save, Sierra, Sierra, can I use your external drive? Oh my God, save, save. I'm forever late, I'm forever late. So Kyle's like memory anymore ram you Those hear man to going go and he goes yeah, I fucked up Amanda. I had fun

And she's like you a fuck therapy fuck everything we've ever talked about God shot up Do you be continued Uh, do you be continued? You're both right. You're both annoying. Okay. Um, I don't know. I don't know. Why aren't you weren't they at the same club with Kyle?

Why don't you tell Kyle Kyle really being getting the car? Yeah, it is a little weird. I don't know why that didn't happen. I don't, I mean, I don't know why he does. Like I imagine like the reason why he doesn't take her calls is because she calls and she's like, come home, come home and he doesn't want to, but I just don't see why it's't take her calls is because she calls and she's like, come home, come home and he doesn't want to. But I just don't see why it's so hard to answer a call

and be like, hey, I'm just gonna stay here 30 more minutes. And then I don't understand why it's hard to do that. And I don't know why it's hard to say, okay, cool. Have a great, I'll be here waiting. Like I don't understand why that's not like an element of the communication, but I also know that people have different dynamics in their relationships. Well, because you look down at your phone and you've got seven missed calls, and then you look down and you've got 27 missed calls.

I mean, but at the same time, you know, I would never be with that. I would have broken up with him a long time ago, which is kind of the crux. It's like, yeah, Kyle's wrong, but why are you marrying Kyle? Like, how much can you change him? If he makes you that crazy over stuff like this, none of this has changed in the past six years. Yeah, I mean, I, yeah, I don't understand. I don't understand why she becomes such a lunatic and I don't understand why he can't do the simplest thing. So it's just like their dynamic that they have and that's weird. I don't understand why, but it's, I don't know.

It's one of those relationships where it's like as an outsider, it's like who's it fault? You know, I don't feel like I care enough for anybody to be involved. I'm like, just don't argue around me because we all have these friends. That's the couple, the whites. You know, it's like the Bikersons or whatever.

They fight, they try to drag everybody around into their drama and it's bullshit. I hate that, you know, like I'm single for a reason. I don't want to have to do with my own relationship drama. I don't want to have to deal with yours. I think it gives them power. I think that actually they need it. I think that like for Kyle, it gives them a sense of independence and it gives them a sense of power.

Like he can draw boundary and be like, no, I'm having fun. And for her, it gives her a power to feel like she's speaking up and being like vocal and she has a voice and then saying, no, you come back to me. And so it's their own weird thing with it that they both do. So they both feel powerful and then they have the fight. And then they're like, but I love you. And I love you, Kyle. I don't want to be with anyone else.

Me neither. And then it's fine. All right, my. Enough people. So Tyler Armstrong enough. Taylor Armstrong enough. Okay. Tyler, what's wrong with me? Oh, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. Fun episode, even though this like half not.

I love it. So much. It was a good, it was a good return for summer house. So we will be back with that next week. And in the meantime, we'll still be back with that next week and in the meantime we'll still be back with Vanderpump and Real Housewives of Orange County this week and go get tickets for the live show and the streaming show, the virtual moment for Moment House. We sure love ya. I think that's it.

Love ya guys. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Dana C. Dana Duh. She's not just a Sheila.

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