Watch What Crappens - #169: A Smack of Drama

Episode Date: March 11, 2015

We have a full slate of shows on this week's "Watch What Crappens." From the return of "Melbourne" to the slap on "Beverly Hills," Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker (@banterblender) have everything covered. Listen as we tackle those two shows as well as Shahs, Vanderpump Rules, and Real Housewives of Atlanta. It's fun. We promise! You can donate to us at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crap is. Crap is.

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Think in the future, Penny, all right? Don't think about today's tuna confetti. Think about next year's, Denny. Exactly. tuna confetti. Think about next years, darling. Exactly. You can find Ben at his other podcast, The Banter Blender, or at his blog,

bsideblog.com. I'm writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps over at Trash Talk TV, so come on over. Lisa Rinna retweeted one last week. Yes! Oh my god, that was awesome. We love Lisa Rinna. Yeah, that was like the best ten minutes of my life. I was like, I'm internet famous for ten minutes! And then it ended. And was like, I'm internet famous for 10 minutes.

And then it ended. And then I crashed really hard and got a coke habit. If you want to find out our social media links, our Instagrams and blah-de-blahs, Twitters and all that, just go to watchwhatcrappens.com. We've got a list of all that crap. Also, please come to patreon.com slash watchwhatcrappens. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N slash Watch What Crappens. That is where you can subscribe for bonus content. We do a bonus episode every week.

We have ringers. We have a monthly Google Hangout, which I think is next week. Right, Ben? Sure. I think it's going to be next Wednesday or Thursday. Check on our Facebook page, Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. That's where you guys can talk to other readers I mean listeners and

make us laugh our asses off like you're doing right now in the current comment thread about what to talk about on today's show so I think that's all of the plugs but you guys have been killing it on Patreon we're actually like paying our rent doing this show now which is so amazing

and our goal on Patreon is to get up to $1,000. And once we do that, we are going to be adding another show every week. And right now, Bravo is in full force. There is so much crap to watch on Bravo. And we can only get to a certain amount of it. So if you want your second show, come on there and subscribe. Okay? And that is the end of the plug session yeah

get your sherry's berries get get some soap from jackie the soap lady um yeah well get some shoes from that lady we like sarah oh yeah i'll find her shoe place anyway thanks for all the supporters there's like xoxo shoes or something like that in miami yeah so thanks for all our supporters and people who've supported us over the years and now let's shut the fuck up with plugs and start talking about the shows. God, this podcast has more plugs than Asifa's boyfriend in Shazza Sunset. Segway! Girl! Yeah, so you're starting with Shazza Sunset.

I'm getting it out of the way because I know you didn't watch it. Yeah, it's putting me in a negative start for this. Good, good, Rodney. You know what? I had to take a stand. I hate that show. I hate getting it out of the way because I know you didn't watch it. Yeah, it's putting me in a negative start for this. Good. Good, Rodney. You know what? I had to take a stand. I hate that show. I hate the people on it. And I'm not going to watch a bunch of fucking people that I hate walk around pretending they have so much more money than everybody else and watching

Asa pretend she's some fucking hippie when she's really some little rich kid who doesn't work for her money and drives around in fucking white Mercedes while her parents live in the slums. No, I'm done with you show fuck you shots of sunset i hate your guts i hope you die stick a needle in your eye bye bye bye bye um well uh i i actually love this show and i still watch and i can just like give you a synopsis of this past episode, which is that Jessica, Mike's girlfriend, finally officially converted to

Judaism. She walked naked in the ocean. It was actually a very nice scene. And then MJ's boobs are bigger than ever. And so Asa arranged a staycation in Malibu. They rented a house in Malibu. And within

minutes, Mike and Asifa were fighting again because Asifa's like, tell your girlfriend to apologize for scratching my boyfriend's back. And then Jessica was like, what? I never scratch his back at all. Oh my God, why would you say that?

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And then... Scratching his back, really? Like during the fight from last week. Jessica's after... Yeah. No, no, not, no, like, no, from last week

when there was the fight over the blazer. Oh like a mean scratch yeah and then like i can feel it that guy's got so much fucking botox i'm surprised he can even feel himself walking down the street yeah exactly and so the guy actually apologized to mike the guy was like listen you know about everything whatever he said he said like i am sorry for for what happened last week and my son's like listen i went back to my closet and realized that I do leave all the X's on my jackets. And you were right. I did think that was fashion. And I'm big enough to admit it.

Yeah, exactly. So then the girl's going to fight. And Mike pulls the guy aside. And he's like, yo, man. He's like, you know what? If you can't be big enough to apologize to me, then I don't know. And then the guy's like, but I just did apologize to you. I'm not going to do it again.

And Mike's like, well, then, bro, I don't know. I the guy's like but i just did apologize to you i'm not gonna do it again and mike's like well then bro i don't know what i'm like i'm like mike he apologized to you because mike is getting the the fucking idiot he is he's really getting the villain edit this season well he's just a fucking idiot and he's led around by his little monkey-faced anger yeah mike calm down what are you so angry about you're born with a silver spoon in your mouth you're hounded everything in your fucking life no one even shows up to your job to buy shit and you still have a bus rolling around town with your face on it what are you complaining about what are you so angry about how about you just calm the fuck down and stop getting mad about people's exes on the back of their jackets exactly well he's definitely getting the villains at it um especially yeah doesn't he rape somebody

well this this episode uh started with gg revealing that last year when they went some when they were in turkey gg was like yeah mike tried to have sex with me she said that like he put his like hand on her thong whatever they had a flashback of her saying something like get your hand off me like hey like jokingly like is your hand on me or whatever and then she said that he like showed up at her hotel room and was like tried to like hang out and she was like no and that's as far as it went but now it's like this whole thing like gg hasn't gotten over it and gg thinks it's weird blah blah blah blah oh yeah because gg is like the calm voice of reason now because she wasn't drunk at

one fucking party yeah she's like oh those people are so belligerent i don't understand these mean drunks i'm like bitch are you kidding because five minutes ago they were showing a clip of you kicking a fan across the room because someone told you you were mean crazy and the biggest news here is that gg actually said no when someone tried to get it all up inside of her bitch please you slept with jax taylor well you know to be to be fair gg always pulls in really hot guys so she you know she deserved this you know, she deserves to say no. But she has taste. She has a taste level. And Mike does not reach it.

But then sort of the episode ended with. She fucked Jax Taylor. So sorry, but I think that invalidates your complete argument. True. Although Jax, it depends when she fucked Jax. Because he was really hot at some point. Pre-sausage face or before. Yeah, exactly. So, the other thing is

that Jessica is now being really prissy and she was like, Mike, I hate your friends. And they were all having a group dinner and she was like, oh my god, you guys are more annoying tonight than usual. And then she was just saying all these obnoxious comments and she's not wrong. She's

right. They are actually annoying and irritating and they're sort of awful but for her to actually be in that group and be saying these snotty little things like out loud to them all is really obnoxious and it made me hate her who the new girl no jessica the the girl jessica's the worst okay always when you're dating someone and they seem like they're all subservient and they're just quiet, be very careful because they are just waiting for that ring. That's basically what she did. I mean, she's a bitch on wheels. That girl was the one who came out of that party last week like,

Get this fucking mic off me, god damn it, now! Oh my god, Nini, calm down, girl. You were in one scene about Strudel or some shit. What are you even talking about? Sit down. This time she was like, Oh my god,. What are you talking about? Sit down. Yeah. See, she was this time.

She was like, oh, my God, you guys are more obnoxious than usual. She's like, well, thank God I'm not staying the night here. That all these comments. And they were just like, even though they are obnoxious, it's just it's rude to say those things. And now it's funny because their job to be obnoxious. You married into this. They were shooting this show when you started dating your boyfriend. obnoxious you married into this they were shooting this show when you started dating your boyfriend so shut the fuck up and stop acting like you're not trying to get a spin-off about

selling oriental rugs or whatever the hell mike's gonna be doing in a couple years exactly so now res is like listen i know you don't like us but you know like homegirl has to get with it so uh and yeah i'm rich do you know how much money i have, Jessica? I have enough money to buy your entire microphone that you threw down on the ground last week. That's so Persian. And then the other thing is that Adam, Reza's fiancé, asked Asa to be his maid of honor, which was sort of like a slight to MJ. He turns to MJ and is like, you're the second choice. I was like, wow, that was obnoxious. But didn't he already ask MJ to be his maid of honor?

I don't know. Well, I'm sure Reza will ask. And then so then Mike got pissy. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're talking about the boyfriend? The fiance asked who now? Asa.

Asa. Oh, well, MJ is going to be the other bridesmaid. Probably. And so and then like Mike got all pissy. And then Adam's like, what, you're mad. And he's like, and then Adam's like, well, maybe you should like send an email once in a while or a call to say hi. And maybe you could then be the maid of honor or something like that. But I was like, good for you.

I was like, it was funny because like two seconds before I'm like, you're being so obnoxious, MJ. And then three seconds later, I'm like, oh, good for you for standing up to Mike. So, yeah, I would think that guy had a backbone, except I've seen how he let Reza decorate their apartment. So I know he's a pussy. Yeah. Nothing says bottom like letting your boyfriend paint your house purple and gold polka dots. Exactly. And I think the only other noteworthy thing was that MJ had this really actually very hot client that she was showing the house to.

And she was like, she's like, you know, Persians, we just get horny. That's just the way, you know, Persians are just always horny. I'm like, I don't think that's a Persian thing. I think that's a human thing. Yeah, I think that's a human thing. Yeah. I was like, don't. Most of us just don't do it with so much body hair.

So that's basically it. So another thing that I read was the yachts uh mj was contouring her arms oh yeah she was i she's like she's like one thing you have to do to like make your arms like skinnier is you put like you can't you put like she's like putting like dark makeup on like the bottom of her arms which to me didn't make i mean i don't know on tv it didn't seem have an effect. And all I could think about was how she was going to ruin so many like chairs and items of clothing with like contour. I know her boyfriend's always going to have like dark. Exactly.

It's like when you get like, when you get like deodorant marks, when you put on a shirt and then you get those white lines, it's going to be like that. Like, but everywhere it's going to be like, it looks good. It looked like he just got dusted for fingerprints all over his sides.

Okay. So, Shaz is done for now, right? Done. That's the update. Okay, so I'll eventually catch up with Shaz, but there are so many damn Bravo shows, we're going to have to get to two shows a week so we can do Shaz, Southern Charm, Newlyweds, and get all of the shit that we

cannot possibly cover in our show. So, thank you for supporting us. possibly cover in our show in there. So thank you for supporting us. Now get your friends over there. Even if people don't know us, just be like, why are you donating to a politician this year? Please watch What Crappens Enough so they can have an episode about

Newlyweds and Shaws. You could just do like a dollar per month. We don't care. Yeah, we don't care. We don't go over that list and write down your name and look you up on Facebook and find out who your family members are and then make little dolls that look just like you and

put pins in them if you're not a member that's do you realize it's like that's like half of a taco a dollar per month look other other other drives for like public radio whatever they want like fifty dollars a month they want i know they're like you guys give us a thousand dollars and we'll give you a signed DVD of Eliza Minnelli tape that came out 19 years ago. What? I was listening to the classical station, because I'm very classy like that.

They were doing their drive and they're like, if you just spend, that's just like $30 a month, we'll give you a three CD set of Mozart's Greatest Hits. I'm like, who listens to CDs anymore? I could re-record that now because that copyright's done now. That music's so damn old

you could use that as the new happy birthday song and nobody could sue you. Or I could just buy it. Or I could buy the three CD set for like $30 rather than spend 30 times 12, which is who knows what. $3,600 dollars i don't know

three hundred sixty dollars sorry we're gonna send you an eight track tape because nobody has an eight track player anymore and that means we're giving you the gift of silence you're welcome thanks a lot pbs i know although i do enjoy a good tote bag oh those fucking tote i'm kind of sick of those like tote bags that everybody's bragging about what they're supporting because it's always like npr or there's never like the face of a starving african child with flies all over its face as someone's like cloth shopping bag yeah although if people wanted if people donate we're willing to donate to patreon for like a watcher crappens tote bag like i would find a way to make tote bags if it meant that

people would donate. I would make them now actually for African children because what's a better idea? What's better marketing than to say, do you want to get some food into this little guy? Well, just send us $30 a month and you'll have him on your tote bag to take to Crater Joe's. You can put

oranges in him, eggs. Feed this child. What if we made tote bags with Bravo quotes on them? This is a reward for donating. What if there was a tote bag that just said, See? No. Riley. On the side of it. Or just a picture of Kim Richards.

Lemons don't cure limes. I would do it okay so where shall we start people do not need to hear about i'm in the weirdest mood i feel like every time i'm doing this show lately i'm saying something like i'm in a really weird mood you guys so i know we are in a weird like honestly like our bonus episode this week was a little cray-cray. Like, it was really in a crazy, I mean, we talked about aliens, we talked about lizard people, we talked about Starbucks. We talked about terrible free apps. We talked about Pebbles. We talked about racism.

Oh, my goodness. We got it all. We got it all in, girl. That's some funny shit. Okay. So, would you like to start with the real half-swaps of Beverly Hills? Of course. Of course.

This show is on fire. I'm sorry. That's the most recent. So, you lost. To me, Beverly Hills is at that point where I'm, like, excited. When it's, like, Tuesday, I'm excited because I know Beverly Hills is on tonight. Because I'm, like, so into it right now. I am.

To me, this is the best it's been since season two. Like it is back on track. Hardcore. Well, there's real shit going on. It does not just seem like a bunch of fake shit. It seems like stuff that people are actually shocked is becoming this huge drama, you know, and it's just going to go downhill. Yeah. It's like real shit.

downhill yeah it's like real shit and it's also like the sort of thing where you get fired up when like you can sort of see one person's logic and another person's logic and they're not lining up and you want to sort of shake everyone explain everything to everyone i mean i just want to shake brandy i don't know i don't get her logic and i don't think she gets it either but she feels like she has to keep fighting and she's just fighting the dumbest fights in the world. Like, she's picking the obviously wrong side. Well, she's also very hypocritical. I mean, she gets mad at Eileen. I wanted to call her Elaine for some reason. Eileen.

She gets mad at Eileen. Don't fucking call me Elaine, Ben. I know. Don't do it. Is it bad that my dad is calling right now, and my parents have been in China for three weeks, and it's the first I'm hearing from them, but I'm not going to take the call because we're podcasting.

Well, yeah, I get your priorities straight. Yeah. I mean, you do have them straight. You do have them straight. Yeah, well, I'll speak to them soon enough. So anyway, it really bothers me that Brand um was getting mad at eileen for what eileen was saying about kim she's like saying like you know you can't just you say those things and those like those like have effects those like you're possibly ruining somebody's life i know i'm

like how about why don't you talk to adrian maloof about that brandy how about that yeah no she is the queen of just blurting stuff that could be a trial but she's obviously still telling people that her husband's cheating on her so that was obviously from brandy first of all love that she kind of came out of the closet with that one yeah exactly i mean just it's so she's just the worst and then she's like well let's just say something positive about each other around the table and And then she's like, you have nice tits. I really enjoy your anorexia. I know, what a passive-aggressive.

Wow, your multiple personalities are really shining through. It's like... You know what? Don't suggest that game if you aren't willing to sort of take it seriously. She's just trying to be funny, but it's not. It's just me, you know. It's just dick. It wasn't.

It was passive. I don't think she was even trying to be funny. I think she was being passive-aggressive. She even said, like, well, I don't have anything nice to say About the personality so I'll say something nice about Something like their physical trait But it was like very obvious Like the people that she liked

She would say something thoughtful The people she didn't like she would say like you have a nice hair And it's like it really read as passive aggressive to me Yeah Well she's the one who started the game Only to say well i can't compliment any of you so yeah and then and then when it gets to her she like she's like no i don't want to hear compliments whatever which was the whole reason why actually she started the

game was to do this almost like faux humble like i can't hear a compliment because i'm so damaged thing it really bothered me. You know. What? Eating an orange. I was about to say. Are you getting choked up at the thought of compliments too? Like I said. Brandy's been trying to put herself back in victim mode.

To become popular again. Because that's the only time anybody likes her. So at this point she's begging people to victimize her. She's like a little kid. Who walks in while you like watching tv walks right in front of you pulls his pants down and just takes a shit on the floor right like he wants to be beat yeah and now beat him i say and right now the thing that she's really being playing the victim card with aside from having glass in her hair is that um eileen has been uh saying saying that she, she's saying that Eileen called her an alcoholic, and Eileen is countering that.

She said, no, I said you're a mean drunk, and Brandy, even after Eileen says that, she's like, well, Eileen just said that I'm an alcoholic, and Eileen's like, no, I said mean drunk and angry drunk, and then Brandy gets mad at that, but Brandy is a mean drunk. And the difference between accusing someone of being an alcoholic and a mean drunk is that I think when you accuse someone of being an alcoholic, you're really accusing them of deep problems, addiction, affliction. Well, they do. And you know what? I will stand up for Brandy on this one because she's right that no one's giving her the truth. Like, Lisa Rinna really is not giving her the truth. Because Lisa Rinna

did say, she took whoever to lunch and talked about Brandy having a drinking problem. She did. She was like, that girl seems to have a problem. She's always drinking. And she said multiple times, like, I can recognize it because my brother-in-law has dropped dead. Whatever. But Eileen said she's an angry drunk and i you know what i the

thing is i think you're allowed to say if you are around someone who is like angry when they're drunk like is being an angry drunk or belligerent and you've seen that a few times i think you're really entitled to be able to say that and you know even if it's maybe if it's not even like if someone has like oh if they've only been like a belliger you know, even if it's, maybe if it's not even, like, if someone has, like, if they've only been like a belligerent drunk twice, but if that's the only times

you've seen them, of course you'll have to be like, yeah, that person's like an angry drunk. It's up to that person who was the angry drunk. Well, you brought up two interesting things.

One is what Kim said when she was like, has she seen me before? I mean, she saw me one time and I was like partying on cancer pills. One time, I was like, I mean, if you've seen time, and I was like, partying on cancer pills. One time!

I was like, I mean, if you've seen me like five times, okay, I fell off the wagon, but... I mean, one time! Like, Tim, that's not how it works. You know that, right? If you'd ever been to AA, you would know that one time means you fucking relapsed. You dildo. Yeah. I think that if someone were drunk and threw wine on my face for

no reason i think i would be entitled to say you know what you're a mean drunk i just i'm putting that out there i'm not am i going out too far on a limb well that was also the night that brandy brought up her being a fucking uh homewrecker yeah for the first time you know she is mean drunk she's too nervous to deal because she thinks everybody's an old lady. And frankly, they're way above her intelligence level. And so she gets nervous and she gets so drunk to be able to deal with them. And she just says mean shit to get on TV. Yeah, and being a mean drunk doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.

Although I think that Brandy might be an alcoholic too, but I don't know. But I think, though, that being a mean drunk it's it's like it's just the way you are when you're drunk and you should like try to change that if you can you know like my favorite thing about kim and brandy right now is the way they justify everything like their anger at everybody else it's like you said something that could have ruined her life on national television i love that it's people talking about it and not the fact that Kim's showing up wasted. Yeah. And Brandi's showing up wasted to the point she's falling down.

And Brandi's still trying to do this Kyle abused me and Kyle beat me thing when we've all seen it. And then last week's blog, Brandi's like she beat me into the i was getting glass i mean who's the nice person here the person who just wants to make peace or the person who's covered in glass it's like shot yeah exactly and you know the other thing is i think one of the reasons why people think that brandy might be an alcoholic is that she has said many times on the show that she like she's like I'll have to drink if I'm with these girls. I mean, she uses it as a coping mechanism. And when you're drinking or using anything as a coping mechanism, that's like a little different. It's a lot different than when

you are just drinking to have fun. You're going out getting drinks with friends. So when you see people using it as a coping mechanism, it's, I think, fairly natural for people to make the jump, whether it's maybe warranted or not, that they might be an alcoholic. Or at least a drunk. You walk around in public drunk, people are going to talk about you walking around in public drunk. Trust me, it happens to me all the time. I walk around in public drunk. Half my neighborhood thinks I'm like the crazy person yelling at the sky.

And they're right. Sometimes. Sometimes that is me. Who cares? Why does that affect my life at all? If I didn't want that i would stop walking around drunk yeah you know uh first impressions and second impressions matter if i walk down the street screaming and talking to myself and someone saw me and met me for the

first time when i was doing that they will think i'm crazy and they would say you know what i think you're crazy i think you're i think you need help and they would be within their right to say that because that's their only that's what they know of me. Also, you know, furthermore, it's your right to be a drunk walking down the street screaming, I don't give a shit. It's just at least own it. Be like, yeah, that was me walking down the street screaming, I was wasted. That was fun, guys, right? But this is just like, yeah, I've worked too. Kim's secular phrase that she keeps saying over and over again is,

I have worked too hard on my sobriety for you to ruin it. No one is injecting you with Smirnoff, okay? No one is, like, pushing you into a pool of Franzia to Kim, okay? No one is ruining anything. They're talking about an issue that you've had on national tv now for five seasons cut to cut to kingsley with his eyes glowing red handing kim a glass of wine take it kim or else i'll bite your neck him fucking trying to snort shit off the bathroom floor in hawaii like come on kim stop acting like everyone talking is ruining your life no one's ruining your life

okay except your Coke dealer. Get a better one. I really – and I really like that Eileen – Eileen, I think, is very good in these arguments. I liked that when Brandy and Kim were sort of pulling this thing like, you don't know. You haven't seen us. But like anyone who knows us forever knows that this isn't true whatever. And Eileen said something to the effect of like, well, our friendship is very new. And you've been mean during the time I've known you you know it's like it's her way of being like and brandy she can shut brandy down in a way that brandy just rolls her eyes and gets really quiet and goes well you know god forbid i have an

opinion i know and you can see that she gets the bully crying which means she knows how to punch i love a bully when they cry There's nothing better than when a bully finally gets punched back in their vagina and starts crying. Exactly. And by the way, by the way,

when they were all talking, when this whole conversation on this little boat started and Eileen was addressing some of the issues or whatever, the person who brought up the whole sobriety issue was Kim.

Kim was the one who said, well, this is why when I was this or whatever with my sobriety, she was the one who actually opened the can of worms this time. out with this or whatever with my sobriety. She was the one who actually opened the can of worms this time. So she can't go complaining about, like, stop bringing it up when she was the one doing it.

What are you talking about? Why are we even talking about it? Mind your own family. Where's your own family that you stole? Yeah. Exactly. Eileen, you know, I'm liking her. I really like when she gets super pissed and says things like don't fucking call me a homewrecker brandy don't do it i like that but i think part of her

and i've said it every time she's gotten pissed like there's just a part of her that's just trying a little too hard to hold on to things like Like, you know what? If people have a huge fight and throw wine glasses at each other and say awful things, and then they wake up the next morning and apologize and go shopping together. That's actually a good thing. Like, I get the whole,

she's like, now we're wiping it under the table and blah, blah, blah. Well, yeah. I mean, are you going to make your whole life's mission?

Like shaming somebody into sobriety? I mean, yeah. Well, but I, there's a point where you need to just i yeah but i can understand her frustration with lisa rena to be honest because you listen i love lisa rena on this show i think she's great but and and i i actually well i understand the motivations for what she's doing when she explained them how she's like you know what i didn't want to like retread this i was in survivor mode i get that but you know lisa rena is she's a little bit of a bullshit artist you know when she's you know when she's saying la you will never know if this bitch is mad at you yeah just smile smile smile absolutely because she was sort of

she was kind of um talking about both sides of her mouth with eileen and then later when everyone was saying nice things to each other and she says to kim like i love you i'm like i lisa you're you're now you're being a little fake i love her but i thought well yeah she's she's being fake but she's also being like cabalist you know where you're like sister i love ladybugs i love bus boys i love carpets. I love clouds that look like dogs. Like part of it is just like learning to love everybody, man. So I think what she was saying was like, Kim, you're a wreck. You're probably going to be dead in a couple of years.

But I want you to know that I'm a human and you're a human. At the end of the day, we both poop. And I love that about you. Okay, girl? Girl power. But, you know, it comes out like, I love you and then Kim's like, oh, yeah. If you love me, get some cancer and get some medication and come see me. That's love. I don't know where the hell

you're from. Your fucking husband making up his stupid commercials. He doesn't use his drawings in commercials anymore, Harry Hamlin. You know, most commercials now are filmed on TV. I just draw them and call it somebody with Bobby Sox. Who is Bobby Sox? That's Harry Hamlin's secret.

My greatest accomplishment was falling in love with the man upstairs in the Folgers Light commercials. I don't even know what Folgers light is. Is that like a coffee? The best part of waking up, really, is just not when you don't wake up, you know?

I mean, just like you sleeping. I love that coffee. The best part of waking up is Taser's choice in your cup. Wait, I'm confused. Is Taser's choice the cup bowl or Folgers waking up? Ah, I gotta go to rehab. I'm sorry waking up is not having to use the cup because who cares? You just woke up.

Drink out of the sink. Don't damage my sobriety. I was in treatment at Maxwell House. I just saw a commercial for Smirnoff and it ruined my sobriety. I've been working so hard. My favorite therapist was Dr. Sanka.

Yeah, so those fights are getting a little old to me because... Oh, I love them. Look, you're not going to top Kim doing what she did last week and then getting a glass thrown in her face. I'm sorry, no matter what happens from now on, that's done. There need to either be new fights, because honestly at this point, obviously Kim's still a drunk.

If she doesn't want to admit it and she doesn't want to sit there and talk about it at dinner on a boat, I can totally understand that. I don't really need her to. The obvious thing here is that it's not even about that. Brandy's been helping stir all this shit up and saying how worried she is for Kim and how it's worse than anybody could ever even know.

And she can't confront her. I mean, isn't it obvious she's still using? All the stuff that Brandy said has just added fuel to this fire. And it actually is very sad watching Kim. And somebody brought something really interesting up on our Facebook page about this. When they said, I think that Kim finally realized that, you know, Brandy was talking behind her back. Because she hasn't tweeted and she hasn't blogged since the episode where we saw her on the beach talking about Kim. Wow.

I think. That's a good point. You guys should fact check that. She suddenly went into hiding. Yeah. I have to say that to get back to your earlier point, I love the fights because again, I feel like they're coming from a real place. I feel like it's not like Atlanta where it's like they are

fighting because they kind of want to fight. I mean, of course, there is some element of that in this. But I feel like it's a real thing that's happening. I think like with Kyle, that's real frustration about like seeing her own sister being manipulated by this, this evil woman who is like turning her against her and making and filling her head with thoughts like that's real frustration i think with eileen it's like real frustration and you know all of it is it comes from a real place and it's like stuff is not resolved and uh even though it is sort of loud bickering and you know at that one point on the boat where they were just bickering

so much that yolanda's like okay i have to go eat food now you know well the thing is like the kim arguments i get and that stuff is is real and and obviously kim is in such a denial like kim is in the thick of such sickness that it's it it's making it uncomfortable but at least i'm buying that yeah what i'm not buying is brandy it's just why are we even talking to brandy my favorite thing about this trip was when brandy started screaming in the middle of the street and everybody just walked away and then she was walking behind them going what do you mean yolanda's like oh really you know who's mean mr limes the person that limes was he made people so tired they got paralyzed i was like whatever my left foot you're not paralyzed

you're in a full face of fucking makeup you don't understand yeah yeah i know yeah the brandy stuff i just can't with her and then i'm looking over the bravo blogs right now and hers is really long but they're so ridiculous that i like to read part of them the headline is there are three different lisa r personalities and one of our, yeah, and all three of them are better than yours, which I liked. But she says, the thing I see most is that there are three Lisa R. personalities. The first is the bubbly, cool chick I had on my podcast and really liked. The second is the one who uses a soft, convincing actress voice to label people she barely knows as addicts insane and white trash every week for our entire time together um so the one so the observant one basically yeah

the one who sees very basic information was able to process it yeah uh sees the lady with triangular tits and a shirt going down to her belly button and a full face of makeup that doesn't move with a really bad dye jab and a cheap throwing wine talking about blow jobs as much as possible to get a little attention and starting fights with old ladies. Yeah. Brandy, it's really, that's a really rough,

uh, really rough, uh, hypothesis to arrive at. Um, these labels were because she cares. The third Lisa Rinna is the one that said why is everyone afraid of kim richards and now says kim richards scares me this is the same personality all the

other women seem to excuse the most and have to literally physically restrain from violence this last one is the same lisa rena taking angry pot shots at the people online and on twitter since november i guess some people that wear that little red string on their wrist just pretend to study kabbalah i have friends that actually do study it and they are pacifists don't worry she deleted her many crazy tweets pretty quickly but they're out there we all know once you delete something it lives forever uh yeah like every idiotic tweet you've made uh accusing of bullying you. Yeah. Fucking moron. It's just trash.

Trash. I know that some of our listeners are Brandy fans. And, you know, that's totally cool and everything. And we don't want to make you feel, like, you know, marginalized or something in our audience. But, like, it's, you know, it's like, you know, I don't want people to feel want people to feel like they're just like you know listening they're smoking me out of their ears but in this case it's like it's very hard for me to to really embrace brandy anymore because i just feel like she really does a useless human being she's never been honest or true to one person ever that we've seen ever exactly so you know this there's of course course the big thing that happened is that as they're getting off the boat, this is after the like after Brandy says everyone say one thing that's nice about everyone else.

And then as soon as she proposed that game, by the way, Brandy's in the interview being like, I just can't stand listening to these women come up with all this fake bullshit to say about each other. I'm like, well, then why did you propose the game, you stupid bitch? Sorry, those rude. Everyone here is so judgmental like your tits nice hair um i like that you found a rich guy to fuck you fucking prostitute so um so then they're all getting off the boat and then brandy being drunk being a not-angry drunk, is getting kind of silly with Lisa. And she's making jokes about the love boat. And she's like, kiss me, kiss me. And Lisa's like, no, no, darling, no.

She's like, if you kiss me, I'm going to slap you. And then Brandy, again, like a kid who's overly rambunctious or whatever, slaps Lisa. It's a playful slap, but an uninvited slap nonetheless. And again, like it's obvious playing. And it's something that's going to be made this huge thing. And that is where I think that Brandy does get the shitty end of the stick. I think that everybody knows she's kidding. And at this point, they're all so sick of her.

That they're just using the whole, she's violent. And she's unpredictable. I would not say that she's violent and she's unpredictable and i can't work with people who are violent eileen did when eileen first got mad at brandy she was like she's violent she's she's a she's a a stalker fan well i mean she's real i'm really worried for my safety like she did say stuff like well i mean brandy did admit to slashing her ex's tires. Well, so did Carrie Underwood. She's still one of the sweetest little people I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, well, put her on this show. She won't be.

But I don't think that Brandy was... She's like, that fucking bitch. I'll tell you, if I ever have to listen to Brandy again, she turns out to be this horribly foul-mouthed, awful person. I would love that. I wouldn't say Brandy is violent based on that slap. I don't think the slap came from a mean place. No, she's just an idiot trying way too hard to get attention.

But it's what Lisa Vanderpump described later at the Pancake Place, which I definitely want to go to, where she was like, you know, it was like taking it too far. It doesn't understand her audience. taking it too far. It doesn't understand her audience. It doesn't realize. It is like that kid who just pushes the button a little too hard. Who thinks it's funny and it's like no, it's just I kind of get it.

It's not like the slaps. It's not like it was violent. It was playful. But it was kind of like, no, that's like I don't play like that. I don't play like that. Homer don't play that. Yeah, she, I mean, I think she was just trying to be funny and trying to initiate something with Lisa again.

But, you know, I like that Lisa just immediately is like, no, darling, no, no, no, no. I don't like that. No, that's not that. No, no, not that. Not that. I like that she, like, turns all mom on her. Yes.

I don't know. I think Brandy's just out of place at this point. And if all she's going to do is use all of her scenes to either try and pretend she's a victim or complain about how old everybody is. When it's like, honey, you look like a candy corn that got left on top of the fucking heater. Just shut up. Calling people old. I know. um but yeah she just has no place all she does is talk about how she's done and she doesn't fit in and then and then bye bye you're the trashiest thing on this show because this show's been fun this season even

without people yelling at each other and throwing wine glasses you know it's the cast is really on point um i'm i i just love it i really do just watching lisa renna talking about how she doesn't want her kids to be sluts yeah that's funny to me yeah absolutely with it uh so what else happened i'm really glad we're done with amsterdam i don't understand countries who need to paint rooms all one color not into the monochromatic dutch thing you guys got going on over there yeah um nothing really happened they went you know oh well they went to uh they went to a museum and like the rembrandt museum and kyle was kyle was like i could draw i could paint better than that i'm like okay kyle richards settle down take a seat take a seat you can't you can't that's

rembrandt you're kyle richards please they're Richards well what about those big robes and how did people go diarrhea back then Kyle's like I went to Color Me Mine and painted a mug once sorry that's a call back to the bonus episode yes we did talk about Color Me Mine oh Kyle yeah and then intercut that with the other

ladies looking at dildos like this is a classy trip yeah classiest i think this cast is a little too uptight for this for this cast trip because this cast trip would have been amazing on atlanta they would have been walking around with blunts yeah or oc oc they would have they definitely would have eaten the pop brownie tamra would have vicky would have found the pot brownie. Tamara would have. Vicky would have found the only Andalese in Holland. She would have wore the clogs and done something ridiculous. No, they would have been stoned off their asses if the OC women went there. Oh, I was looking through old YouTube videos the other day and was watching.

From Wondery, this is Black History For for Real I'm Francesca Ramsey and I'm Consciously what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History Rosa Parks Reconstruction MLK February Black History Month exactly exactly there are so many stories of Black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for Black rights.

She is a heroine to some, as a fighter for Black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first

scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power

money and sex collide in a game of life and death follow academy on the wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts you can binge all episodes of academy early and ad free right now by joining wondery plus the oc reunion where vicky and Tamara hated each other. Oh, my God. That show really knows how to scream. God. They're screaming, like, really, Vicky? Really?

Do you want me to tell everybody what you did with that busboy in Cabo? And she's like, what? Oh, my God. Tamara. Every OC reunion is exactly the same, but they're always good. They do a good reunion. They really do because they're so stupid. And that was the one where Alexis was like,

I have proof on emails. She pulls out like a, I don't know, like a donut. You know, New York, Real Housewives of New York does great vacations. OC does great reunions. And season finales, too. OC always ends strong.

You know, Beverly Hills has never been really good with vacations, actually. Last year's vacation sucked. Yeah. I don't remember what was the first one. The Hawaii vacation was okay. It was okay. Because that was watching Kim, like, hit rock bottom. Yeah.

It was horrible to say, but it was interesting. Yeah, the season one vacation, I don't really remember. Season one, they went to... They started by going to Vegas, remember? That was like an early season vacation. That was their first thing. Then, to show off Adrian's

products, she's like, hello, welcome to the Maloof Hotel, where we serve Maloof vodka, and we wipe the floors with pine maloof it's like jesus christ we get it you have products yeah she's like that's lindsey lowen's little sister over there singing on top of the slot machine we own her um okay so anyway are we done with bev hills yeah, I think so. This show is super fun to watch, but man, I went off about it for an hour last week, and I can't yell at a drunk anymore.

I think we covered all the important stuff. Yeah. Let's have a drink. Let's just all have a drink. So, which one next? Melbourne? You know, Melbourne's back. Oh, yeah, Melbourne is back.

I was thrilled. I have to tell you, I was thrilled to be watching Melbourne again. I was really thrilled. I loved how everybody looked. I love everyone's new looks. Jackie looks different. Oh, yeah. Shine, shine, shine.

Shine, shine. She's shown. Lydia looks beautiful. She does. And I love that Lydia's just basically starving herself. Yeah. Everyone's like, how did you lose so much weight? And she's like, I eat what I

want to eat, but it's not much. And it works. And Chica's like, do you have coffee? She's like, yeah. How many cups? Eight large cups a day. She's like, I have one bite of my sandwich. I'll give the rest to Mr. Figaro. He's not gay.

I love Mr. Figaro, actually. Or this figaro i think they i don't know um don't call him fagaro because he is not gay lydia wants everybody to know her dog is not gay okay yeah not that there's anything wrong with her dog yeah figaro um so let's see. This is like a week ago that I watched the episode, so it's like, am I trying to like... Oh, I just watched it yesterday. Oh, really? Okay.

Well, maybe you can lead the conversation then. Oh, I'm pretty dumb, Ben. Well, I remember... Okay, well, let's talk about the new bit. Well, first of all, I think it's funny that Gina is like this super villain and everybody's like, oh, what's going to happen with Gina?

What's Gina thinking? Where's Gina? And I really just didn't see her that way. I mean, I know she calls someone an ass hair at the reunion, but Jesus Christ. She's like normal and lovely. I love Gina. And everyone hates her in the cast. Well, not the new girl.

Well, one of the – I almost called her Gambit. But Gamble, she clearly watched season one. She knows. And she's, like, immediately siding with Gina. Yeah, she's like, I will be siding with the queen. Okay, so Gamble. Wow. She talks like this.

Her name is Gamble, first of all. She looks... Her upper face doesn't move. And she has kind of an Australian accent. But it's also kind of a Marianette accent. Yeah. Because the lips aren't moving. They don't move, and she has kind of an Australian accent, but it's also kind of a marionette accent, because the lips aren't moving at all. They don't move. She sort of looks like a cross between Kesha and Marky Post.

We met on eHarmony, me and my husband. It's like Turok by the sea. I'm Gamble. I'm Gamble. Gamble means blessings in your life. And you have lots of blessings. This is my dog, Cash. It's my cat, Credit.

This is my purse, which I've named IOU, darling. And this is my husband on a boat. It's like some old man on a boat. He's like, hey, you know why the sun sets because the earth is turning around in a circle and it's about to go behind it she's like that's fascinating darling I'm so glad we found each other

darling that was really profound she's um you can learn things from older men darling she's one of those people remember from Seinfeld where it's like different lighting, that one episode where the woman looks different in different lighting? She is the one who like, when you

look at her, sometimes she looks really young and sometimes she looks really old. You can't get a grasp of what she really looks like. Yeah, she looks crazy. I'll tell you that much. Okay, and one of her quotes was, she's like, my motto in life is to calorie count. Like, wow. That, my motto in life is to calorie count.

Like, wow. That's your motto in life? I wonder if Martin Luther King is up in heaven right now just feeling like an idiot. He's like, I wasted so many speeches. When it could have just been summed up with calorie counting. I had a dream. We all fit in a plane seat and still eat Oreos.

Just know how many you're eating. Well, I loved how so, there was some, oh, Janet was having a big party. And when Gamble walked in, she was just like, so what do you think about Gina? Have you seen Gina yet?

I can't wait for you to meet Gina and tell us what you think. She's sort of like, big personality. I can't wait. They to meet Gina and tell us what you think. She's sort of like a big personality. I can't wait. They're totally being mean girl instigating. And thank God for Chica who was like, well, I think you should just make up your own mind. Make up your own decision.

She's like, listen, you know, lots of people are different and lots of people have different opinions. And sometimes it's real important for us to come together as friends and look past each other's differences and look at a similarities for example my dress is bigger than yours but my hair is also shorter than yours let's hug shut up chica haven't you learned anything how about you start some shit and stop being so nice listen listen everyone here's the storyline for me this year what would y'all like to have for lunch i want to order what the consensus is because we're all on the same page in a sisterhood no chica you're not a sisterhood you need to cut some bitches i don't know what the hell you're doing wasting my time but i love that chica shows up for season two bitch has not lost a pound she

does not care and then in her opening she's, it's not about how much you weigh. It's about how wonderful you are on the inside. She's like, how much your hair looks like a peacock's top. Sometimes beauty is just going to fantastic Samson saying, do what you did last time. She's like, throw me to the wolves and I come back. As a friend with all the wolves, we're just great friends.

They're lovely people. Throw me to the wolves and realize wolves can hug. She's like, people get exhausted trying to figure me out. And I just bring them tea and we all just talk it out. And I say, this is what I'm about. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because I'm here to stay until we're all hugging.

I've been famous and I've been rich but my favourite is just like having friends and making sure everyone's happy. Shine, shine, shine the light on our differences so we can learn to overcome them. I know what I am. Holler at good friendships.

I am a hollerback girl. I am a hollerback girl. If you give me a holler, I'll holler back at you, because I'm cheeky. I'm not about the drama. Don't want none, don't need none. But if you bring some fine that's your decision we're all good with it

I'll support you because we're all human beings and I'll hug you because everyone likes drama especially Shakespeare I love that Gamble's like my name comes from the Shakespearean play about bounty what? My name comes from the Shakespearean play about bounty.

What? What happened? No, it's because your mom went to an Indian resort in Connecticut and got drunk and made the decision. She was applying to be on Game of Crowns. She was playing Russian roulette with her father's sperm. She took a gamble and it didn't pay off. She's like, Don, remember when we bet I wouldn't get pregnant? I did. Let's took a gamble and it didn't pay off she's like don't remember when we bet i wouldn't get pregnant i did let's name a gamble well it's better than losing a bet this is my daughter lost bet

gamble okay so then the other new one is petty fleur Petty Fleur. I feel like the producers of this show at least listened to a clip of this podcast and were like, you know what? Their accents are awful. So let's just add more accents to see how awful we can get their accents every week. This one is like

Indian Nixon alien. What would you call it? There's like four different accents. She's Shre Malian. Yeah. What would you call it? There's like four different accents. She's Shreelian. Shreelian, yes. She's Blackadashie Raelian. Yeah. I actually

really like Petty Fleur. I feel like she is like a tough lady. And I just like her. You know what? I'm always prone to really enjoy Indian and Sri Lankan women. I just kind of like love know i'm always prone to really enjoy indian and sri lankan women i just kind of like love them so that goes out to you that goes out to you eva i'm never gonna be able to even talk about her because i don't i can't i can't see how she talks she's like we have one week where we get together

for she's like we get one day a week where we have family dinner and we love to spend time with each other you're making her sound like dracula she's transyl. I came to suck your blood at family dinner. I'll be back at the family dinner. Hasta la vista. Thank you. Come again. Have a nice day. But you see, that's too much.

But it's closer than I was before. We're going to have to workshop this. Do you know what I want for my birthday? A Bentley. A white Bentley with a soft top. Shut up. I hate her. Drive Reza to buy his fake stupid least watch while you're at it.

I like Betty Fleur. I don't know. I forget what she did. I'm not going to like somebody. That girl sounds like a Harry Potter character. Betty Fleur. Yeah, I like her. Betty Fleur did I don't know. I forget what she did. I'm not going to like somebody. That girl sounds like a Harry Potter character. Petty Fleur. Yeah, I like Petty Fleur did really well in spells. Unfortunately, she got killed in the Gryffindor brew match. I think she didn't like Lydia. Right. If I remember correctly, she got mad.

She was like she was turned off by one of the things that Lydia said. I don't know if that was Gamble or her. I don't know. But one of them, Lydia, was just rolling her eyes. That's just what she does. I mean, she's hungry. She's had eight cups of coffee. Let's just leave her alone, all right? Yeah.

She's thinking thin. That's what's important. Yeah, darling. And I love that she's trying to be so nice. She's like, Mom, you know, I'm going to see Gina, lady, and I'm going to come with a feeling of love. I'm going to come to the table like a nice big basket

of bread and just offer to share myself with people and hopefully she'll slather me with butter and take me down, Mom. And her mom's like, don't take any of your crap, that stupid drag queen. I haven't seen that ugly since Dom DeLuise died and had an open casket. It was disgusting. Mom, now, don't be mean.

I go, really? Because your mom's just coming up with this information on her own. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. What else happened? Oh, so Janet, she. Okay, Janet. Plastic surgery.

You know what? Janet's plastic surgery is so good. She looks beautiful. I love Janet. Even though Janet is like a little shady. She's a little is so good. She looks beautiful. I love Janet. Even though Janet is like a little shady, she's a little two-faced. A little? She's horribly shady.

She's an awful human being. But she sort of like does it in a cheery way where you're sort of like, oh, Janet. It's fun, you know? She's like, it's fun. She's like, I don't have to stop the problem, but why not? You know, I'm like getting a little randy over here.

She just sort of says things like, well, you know, Gina and I are frenemies. You know, we always come back to each other which almost she almost feels like by saying that it gets her license to be totally shady well also it's like how she sums up friendship which is so funny she's like we're frenemies i mean sometimes we love each other and sometimes we hate each other but at the end of the day we keep coming back to the table to work it out and that's a real friendship like it's really not yeah i don't know where you learned that whatever you're doing is a real friendship but no yeah no um i liked when she went to the baker and she was like so i'm having a party tonight and i need a

cake i need a cake tonight so make me a cake as you know like i don't i don't think that bakers like that that make like really nice cakes there's such a fake scene like they don't i don't think that bakers like that that make like really nice cakes i don't there's such a fake scene like they don't just like make cakes for like and to be ready in three hours and i don't know why i'm taking such three hours like i don't know why i'm taking such issue with it but it really is like thanks for coming to albertsons i appreciate you coming to the tables here in front of the starbucks to talk about the cakes would you like a little mermaid i mean it's old but people still order it well what i did like was that the cake you like a little mermaid? I mean, it's old, but people still order it. Well, what I did like was that the cake was a very nice cake,

and then he had these silly Fisher-Price figurines made out of fondant. They're like, this is a Chanel bag. This is a lady holding a Chanel bag. And this is a little nurse. And that's a doctor. And that's a rich person. That'll be you. No, it's not.

It's really sad when he's like, hey, look at this. This is Marilyn Monroe. It's not you. I mean, we can he's like hey look at this well this is marilyn monroe it's not you i mean we can do your face but you know marilyn you know we can maybe do something different and she's like well you know what i'm not sure about what kind of icing i want on the cake and he's like well really you know i think you need to look deep inside yourself and start forgiving people around you she's like what can we talk about the cake darling yeah like something red and he's like you know strawberry is another word for crack hole and that's what your friend lydia looks like because she's drinking eight cups of coffee a day i think you need a hug you know fix something in

her life and her soul she's like i didn't come here for this i came here for a free fucking cake these queens know now that they're on a popular show you remember how last year they couldn't even film in a mcdonald's you, no, you're not coming in here. And this year people are like, come in. We'll give you a cake. Just come in. Let this queen give you advice. Just come on in, darling.

Well, he was basically like, all right, I have about 15 minutes to sell myself as her new gay sidekick. This is what I'm going to do. Meanwhile, she's dating the other gay sidekick. Which one? The one with the... One who's 20. Like, look, your plastic surgery is great. Yes, I love your...

The guy, Carlos. Your peace on life. And I don't think that you should just sit in a wheelchair just because you're someone who's older. I mean, come on. Live it. Live it. Love it. Have fun.

But please don't be dating someone 40 years younger than you and then wondering why he's not trying to bone you. Yeah. I thought you were talking her uh hairstylist who has like the no country for old men here oh no that guy's amazing yeah what's his name like fabricio or something probably i don't know spiritually that's a spirit you can't have that hair and not be named that that big wig and she's like do you like the the link, darling? Oh, yeah, darling. What were we talking about? All right, let me lock the front door. He's so cute. I know.

I know. Yeah, no, it was so great to have this show back. And that was a nice moment when her son came to the party. That was nice when Janet's son, who was the burn victim, came. That was nice, right? Yeah. Yeah, the whole thing was nice. I really liked it. It's still... I liked that it's fun and light, and the

fights look so stupid because they're the new girls just trying to cause shit. And Gamble's like, I don't appreciate people talking about me having an issue. Is there a rumor about me? What's the rumor? Someone took out a marker on the Gamble. What's the rumor? I took out a marker on the gamble. What's the rumor?

I don't want to talk about a rumor, but somebody's saying things about gamble. Somebody talked about gamble. Always bet on green, right? Is that the expression? No? Okay. Always bet on green.

But I love that Janet's like, I'm a good person, so I'm not going to talk about the rumors. She says like 20 times. She tells everybody that there's some huge secret. She's like, but I'm not going to say what it is because I'm a nice person. Right. Right, Janet. Right.

What do you think Gamble's big secret is? That she's a flounder. Formerly. I don't know. there's something about her that reads very fish like right like she should be at the bottom of the sea like she should be helping people look for Ariel I went to a comedy show last

night and it was like a really bad comedy show but there was one comic who was funny and she got up there with a keyboard and she sang a song called I'm a butterface mermaid and it was like about a mermaid who was ugly and like she's like the only ugly mermaid anyway that would suck it's like you finally find a prince and he takes one look at you and jump out of the water and you get legs and he just pushes you back in yeah it's like swim on yeah exactly like what do you do when like you're a butterface mermaid you catch and release yeah okay so melbourne not a whole lot yeah it looks like

the ladies are gonna still try and start shit with gina but gina does not give a fuck and she is ready to party she's like bring it on ladies she she's like ready to fight this year which i really like um she's ready for whatever they bring her. But she's also aligned herself with Gamble, which seems pretty smart. It's more like Gamble has aligned herself with Gina. Well, she's taking it. Yeah, of course. Gina's like, my little minion.

She'll take it. And then who else is aligning? Who's this Petty Fleur aligning with? Well, I don't know who Petty Fleur's aligning with, but I think that Gina likes Petty Fleur, too, right? I think so she said to what one of the ladies said something kind of sassy and gina's like i rather like it oh i thought it was yeah oh yeah yeah like i i like that spunk um but i like that gamble's like i don't believe in psychics i think it's stupid you got someone in your life named peter blah, blah, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong.

And then they cut to what's-her-button, like, shine, shine, shine. I really like me, girl. Shine, shine, shine. La mascarola, la mascarola. Shine, shine, shine. Wait, now one of them said something that upset Petty Floor, too, right? What did one of them say again? I don't know, because it was something so small and insignificant.

But, of course, it's going to become a 10-hour fight. Yeah. I get it. I've had small things said to me that get under my skin and then fester for weeks and weeks and weeks, and then finally I hate that person. Uh-oh, is that a warning? Yes, Rondal. You'd be like, remember that time you tried to buy a road and you didn't have a wheat card? That was uncool, man.

That was uncool. and you didn't have a wheat card that was uncool man that was uncool like i was gonna build a settlement at the wheat brick and sheep junction and then you put a road there and like i couldn't build my settlements um the real housewives of the settlers of katan the real housewives of katan i would love to play katan with gina my god gina gina would be like listen i was about to build a road here darling but i'm sorry I'm five hours late. The construction people are gone, so I just threw the road out there. It's in the middle of the wheat field. Hope you don't mind.

She's like, I built a city on the desert. There, I won. No, Gina, that's just your first thing. No, no, no, no. I built a city. It's very sophisticated. It's like Abu Dhabi. It's on the desert.

There, I won. I'm sorry I used the game pieces to wipe the spray tanner with. That was a $40,000 game of Settlers of Katangina. I left some tanner on your game. Insignificant ass hair. But I love that her first scene is walking past a store called The Bitch's Back. Yeah. Yeah.

You go, Gina. Do you remember last season when they shot that scene where Andrea was walking in some strange lacy dress down the street in this very awkward way? I kind of miss Andrea. She was such a bitch that I hope a real huge bitch like Andrea emerges this season. Oh, well, they cast, you know Gamble and Pedophore are both going to be awful. They both just seem awful. Well, Gamble's not going to be an alpha bitch. She'll just be smarmy.

Sort of, not to go back to aquatic. I think she'll be catty, because they showed in the previews for the upcoming episode, she's like, I can't believe these women are just bitches, you know, just plain bitches. She'll be catty, but she won't be, you know what it is? She'll be like, to bring it back to the aquatic thing, she's going to actually be like one of Ursula's eels, you know? Sort of, like, peeking out behind a rock, sort of, like, slithering in and saying something like, Ursula's eels, you know? Sort of like peeking out behind a rock, sort of like slithering in and seeing something like, you know? Ursula's eels. Right? She had eels, right?

It was pouring forts and it sows. So who's gonna be Ursula? Who is Ursula? I mean, Gina seems like she'd be Ursula. You need a strawberry cake that doesn't remind people you're old. Here's a surfer. He's like, what do you do? What are your hobbies?

Do you surf? Do you ski? She's like, I do like to ski, but I don't want that on my cake. Happy birthday, Janet. Janet who likes skiing. I forgot. I forgot. What else happened on this?

You just made snot come out of my nose. What's that? You just made snot come out of my nose. What's that? You just made snot come out of my nose. I'm being disgusting. If you guys are not watching Real Housewives of Melbourne, it is worth it. Starting a little slow, but you know, we can't all just be beating on our drunk sisters straight out of the gate. Right. We need some time.

And even though it's not the fastest it is the funniest i have to say it made me laugh the whole way through and i think i have faith that it will get up to speed you know last season started off like a little it was like funny but it sort of had to build up but then once it built up it was great i think that's what we're gonna have this season too so i am looking forward to. And now let's move on to our next show. Well, we've got Atlanta and Vanderpoop Drools next. Oh, my God. I think we should probably do Atlanta first.

Okay. Both of them were sort of uneventful, I have to admit. Well, I have some Vanderpump stuff I really want to talk about. Well, why don't we do that one first, then? Okay. Okay. Vanderpump rules I really want to talk about. Well, why don't we do that one first, then? Okay. Okay. Vanderpump rules.

Stassi. What the fuck is happening with Stassi? She needs to sit down. We have a really good comment on our page, which I'm looking up right now. Well, we always do, because we have wonderful listeners. Yeah, and these comments really are good. Let me see where it is. on our page, which I'm looking up right now. Well, we always do, because we have wonderful listeners. Yeah, and these comments really are good. Let's see where it is.

In the meantime, while you look it up... Someone basically wrote... Yeah, look it up. You talk about it, and I'll look it up. No, you look it up. I was just going to say, while you're looking it up, I actually felt like the reunion was more or less kind of tame, and it only got really interesting once Stassi came out, because she was saying such bullshit that that's when it like got me enraged because that's what these reunions are all about

right like people like hold on to their bullshit and they get called out and confronted with it and they still hold on to their bullshit and he gets so mad and that's that's really when it happened the most then yeah stassi is completely in the wrong, obviously. She's a total bitch. And she comes back on. And then, of course, like every bully this week, it was bully week on Bravo. It was like bullies getting their due week on Bravo. Because usually the bullies never get their due. But this week we have Brandy crying off in a corner. Stassi crying off in a corner.

And Nene pretty much about to be crying in a corner because they're all pretending that they're these like buddhists you know who are like above everybody else right um the stuff with stassi the really interesting stuff came out with what jacks was saying with stassi and i don't know how much everybody was catching on to some of this but the stuff that she was saying and the stuff that jacks was saying was really bizarre if you start adding it together like if they haven't seen each other for a couple of years but then tom's like well but you didn't you call him crying asking for money and she's like well yes but that's because of holes he put in the wall when because if you haven't talked for two years where were these holes where were

you discussing something with jacks that he would be putting holes in your wall okay right and then jacks is just cutting her a check and then the part where they were like well you know uh they say your boyfriend refuses to be here and he's super jealous and he said he'll break up with you if you film with jacks and she's yeah, but I would expect the same thing. So she's basically giving credence to that. Yeah. And then she's saying, Andy, this fucking retarded questions as usual. He's like, so you're mad because he cheated?

You know, Andy, Barbara Walters did retire her. And I don't know what you're still doing on at 11 at night because you really deserve some more credit. Fucking idiot. But anyway, he's like like so you're mad that he cheated she's like no it's more than cheated he did some really life-altering stuff to me that's never gonna leave and i'm like okay did he give you herpes did he impregnate your butt? There's too many unanswered questions here. They're obviously still talking, and she's pretending that they're not. Right. And I love how Jax, before she comes out, is like,

Oh, well, I'll always love Stassi. I'll always have her back. Even though I always love her. And then she comes out, and she's like a bitch to him. And he's like, I fucking hate you. But they're still talking. comes out and she's like a bitch to him and he's like oh he's like i fucking hate you but he's they're still talking like she's the what i got from that is that they're obviously still in contact and she's going through because he said you guys don't even understand like you know

whatever stassi may act like or how whatever she says she's really had it rough this past three years yeah like you know so she's been she's been relying on jax to talk about her feelings while she's dating some guy and jax is punching holes in walls and he did something life-altering to stassi i mean what the fuck yeah i don't know i don't know what is going on with him i don't know why it was suddenly such a big deal that at the season finale that they wound up in that she was gonna see jacks for the first time it's like it's hard to remember that there was a time that they were actually like a couple and they were fighting for the relationship and all this and that like i've like forgotten those days so it's sort of it's like i kind of don't care about like where they stand right now. It just, it seems strange. I was more interested in,

um, and when she was being confronted about the stuff with like Katie and, uh, how Sheena was sort of like attacking Stassi. And then I loved how horse face all of a sudden horse faces seeking an ally. So she's like defending, defending Stassi to no end. She's like,

you don't even know seriously seriously sheena we're friends now yeah i like that katie is uh suddenly friends with stassi again for no reason but then stassi's still so mean to her and andy's like well isn't it don't you find it weird that you're oh yeah kristen she's like don't you find it weird that you're friends with kristen again and she's like she's the only one who will talk to me. That's really nice. It's like a warm hug, I'm sure. Yeah, exactly.

I'm only friends with her because I'm desperate. No, they both are. They're the only people that would talk to each other in the universe. My favorite part of this reunion was everybody who's just fed up with Kristen and Stassi just yelling at them to shut up. That was hilarious. It's like every five minutes. Like, shut up. Oh, just shut up.

God, Kristen, just shut up, Kristen. You don't know anything, Kristen. You weren't there, Kristen. Kristen, stop, Kristen. I know. I loved whoever. I'm going to try to find the quote, but someone said on our Facebook page that we have to talk about

James wearing the deep v-neck revealing his little boy body with little sprigs of chest hair. James has this doll face. He's like, well, she's mine now then, brother. I know. She's mine now, brother. She's with me all the time now. Yeah, after

talking about some other dude for a whole year on national tv grow some pride dude yeah exactly and i and i loved how of course the quote of the night it was when um when they're trying to explain why jacks and um christian like had sex and she's saying she's in a vulnerable place and he was in a vulnerable place and then the gym's like listen hot people like fucking hot people that's just what people do oh god oh is that why andy kept saying that yeah that's what you that yeah because james said that he's like oh i missed that part and i thought it was because that's bethany says that that's like a james saying that's why i was like that's why jacks and christine had sex because hot people like fucking hot people

oh god neither one it's like mediocrity likes fucking mediocrity i guess yeah it gets weathered like sources sausage casing face loves horse faces. We're so catty. Yeah, but his face is becoming a sausage. What is he doing to his face? Somebody has to tell me. Even when they had flashbacks earlier in the season, you could see there was a difference. I feel like this show is leaving me with more questions than cereal. Yeah, I know.

What's happening with Jax and Stassi? What's happened to Jax's face? What is with Kristen's face? And can you get Botox in just one eye and make it not move? When did her eye stop moving? What's going on? Or she knows. She's like, I don't have any wrinkles.

Oh, my God. I don't have any wrinkles. You're like 28. When do you think you start getting wrinkles exactly, bitch? I know. Trust me, Botox or not, your face is going to start crinkling up at 40, okay? I know. That Olay Regenerist ain't going to do anything either. Just move your face while you can.

It's like, yeah, you may not have wrinkles, but you've done so much stuff to your face, you look like you're a 56-year-old woman trying to stay young. That's the new race of plastic surgery face. You can't tell how old anyone is. They just all look old because they look crazy. Yeah, exactly, because you know it's an old woman doing it. And also, she looks like she's wearing a drag queen breastplate. You know those, like, rubber things that never match the skin of the neck?

Yes. Yes. She looks like she's wearing that. It's like, come on, you're a pretty girl. My cleavage is seriously fucked. Cleavage is my thing. Yeah, what? Was she wearing a crop top?

I had Andy make me a breastplate. I got this at the Color Me Mine of Azusa. I painted it chest color. I melted a bunch of copper roosters from Dross Dress for Less and I made a breastplate

because breastplates are my thing. I got a crop top from Steinmart. Steinmart is so classy compared to Dross Dress for Less. I know. So, the rest of Vanderpump Rules, which I thought was fascinating, were scenes

from the next reunion, because Stassi says god i just feel like i should just say i'm wrong so everybody will get off my back and everybody at the same time goes you are wrong stassi yeah and i really i actually really enjoyed george schwartz said something to the effect of uh about how stassi was saying how that she was so glad to be moving on because everyone was so judgmental yada yada when she was the glad to be moving on because everyone was so judgmental, yada, yada, when she was the most judgmental and immature people this season, probably. Or ever.

Like, that's how she, I just feel bad for Stassi because she's in the real world and how is she going to deal with this? And also girls like that who just change themselves for some man who's trying to control them. You know, if you look at this as any normal human being, when you start dating a guy who doesn't want you hanging out with your friends and who doesn't want you dressing the same and who wants you just to be there at home

sitting around waiting for them, they're usually kind of abusive in some way. I'm not saying he's beating, but I'm saying there's some weird emotional thing there. And congratulations to Stassi's parents who basically taught Stassi to you know get pretty enough to get old and you know get pretty enough to marry some rich guy to take care of her forever and never have to do anything it's like her only thought about stopping waiting

tables is to find a man so she can stop waiting well but that guy's a job lady well that guy's in for a treat because to get back to what you said at the very top of the episode about jessica from shadows of sunset all sweet and subservient in the beginning and then then the real stassi comes out well you know what well he's seen the show he's seen the show so he's gonna be prenuping her ass and he's gonna he's gonna yolanda foster her ass okay yolanda foster still gives speeches about how much she loves her dear david because they have a prenup she would not be given that speech every week if she had not signed a prenup. That's how to keep them nice in this town. Yeah, certainly.

By the way, I looked up her boyfriend, Patrick Meager. Hot. Yeah, he is hot. I would let him emotionally, emotionally abuse me. So I'm not judging you, Stassi. I'm just saying come back to the five in time, Stassi, darling. Yeah. Enjoy the fact that you're a horrible person and the world hates you that's your calling card you've worked hard at it it's your third reality show girl you finally become the bitch that you were trying to be blossom like a little flower yeah i the one i feel the worst for

of this whole thing is actually christina because she tried so hard to get on to this show to be in that reunion to be in the mix and still nowhere to be found that poor dana poor her she's she tries hard oh she really she's got that thirst and she is working hard but i don't know not even to come out for five minutes yeah meanwhile the british nobody's even said like stassi you know that girl who ubers you around um and agrees with everything you say what about her yeah no one brings her up yeah no one even says anything about christina meanwhile the british busboy waltzes right onto the show season three and gets gets a prime spot in the reunion

yeah well lord knows he's earned it jesus yeah i have to say by the way they brought up the whole thing about um the the car selfie and uh you know i wish someone had asked what's a bus boy doing with a bmw but uh i do think when they relive that scene i did think it was really funny when he said why don't you take a honda civic selfie i mean that that's that's pretty funny yeah that was funny and that whole fight was stupid i don't i don't understand that they don't remember why they were fighting yeah it's like well yeah you know i remember why i called him that because he said something about my selfie and i should have thought of something better but you know it was a selfie i don't want selfie civic selfie i was

like what are you talking about shut up get him out here. Put him back at the kids' table. Kristen, you should be ashamed of yourself. For Christ's sake. Little children are supposed to ride the ponies around, not take them home. We're so in love. We met at a birthday party. I was there for a petting zoo. He pinned a tail on me.

It hurt for a minute, but then once he was riding me around the backyard, he was the only person that didn't kick me and make me go faster. So I think there was more discussion about the girl from Miami, by the way. Oh, actually, Ariana had a good. Fucking ugly plastic flesh bot from Miami. We had sex. Then we did it. Yes, we did.

Then we did it. Uh-huh. did it uh-huh not uh-huh security um yeah they i think there's just more denials as kristen be like i had to clear my name um i'm totally over it now erin had a good zinger didn't she something about about the fact that they were like... They always go... Tom's always hanging out with pretty girls or whatever, hooking up with pretty girls, and she's like, well, I'm not worried because she wasn't pretty.

Something like that. Much better than what I just said, but I give her props to that. Yeah, I'm really going to be sad when Vanderpump Rules ends. It's almost over. No, and next week looks like it'll be a good part of the reunion. Lisa Vanderpump. Looks like she yells at Stassi, which is really nice.

Lisa Vanderpump needs to be like... I mean, actually, she is getting more like this on Beverly Hills now with that attitude. I really like her attitude more on Vanderpump Rules. And I know that it's easier to have that attitude when you're just talking about a bunch of young people who work for you. I mean, supposedly.

But I really like when she just tells people off and she's like, no, I gave you everything and you just turned your back on me. I don't appreciate it, darling. She's like, I'm an erudite. If Chef Penny ever acted... She's just ready to tell everybody off at all times. Yeah.

Because it's, in some, someone has offended her. She's like, I can't believe you were talking about this three weeks after my wedding. I was still experiencing the glow, and you ruined it. How about a bad Yelp review for my wedding? That's not cool. Yelp is my thing. that's not cool Yelp is my thing I can't believe you would mention this

as I was on the way to Pollo Comparo to look at photos from my wedding I was trying to relive the night and you ruined it and I couldn't even enjoy my fajita so that will be coming up next time also we'll be covering Southern Charm on this show we'll be covering Southern Charm on this show.

So please be watching Southern Charm, which begins next week on The Braves. Yeah. But we have Atlanta before you try to wrap this up. No, no. I'm not trying to wrap this up. I thought it sounded like you best not be wrapping this up. No, I just figure when I'm having crazy days like this, if I remember to say something important, I should just say it. Because otherwise, it'll just fly away.

Yeah, I'm actually very excited for Southern Charm, which, as the name implied, it really charmed me with its lunacy. But it's like, as we talked about in its first season, it's like rich assholes being assholes in a different way than they are on Shaws of Sunset or any of these other shows. My dad wasn't against the end of slavery.

He just wishes that people didn't have to die to get there. Oh, okay. Great. That's all. Can't wait to see the next season of this show. He's like, learn more about it if you read his keynote address to SAE in Oklahoma State or University of Oklahoma. SAE in Oklahoma State or University of Oklahoma.

I'm running for state senator of Charleston. And I'd just like to say my platform is forgive old white men. They didn't mean it. Now let's just all give them some more money. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much. By you. Thank you very much. By the way, are you watching House of Cards? No.

Because that guy really has gone into Foghorn Leghorn. Have you? Speaking of Netflix, are you watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? No, I heard it's great, though. It's so funny. It's like the second coming of 30 Rock Rock and Jane Krakowski is absolutely hilarious. Love her. And Ellie Kemper is great. Actually, Ellie Kemper really deserves

the whole cast. Titus Burgess. Everyone. Okay, yeah, I'll check it out. Everyone watch that. So, Atlanta. Not much. The guy house with cards, he's like, I'm gonna pass a bill. I'm gonna pass it so far, no one sees it flying past their face. Watch this senator.

He thinks I'm here to ask him about coffee. I'm really here to ruin his life. Hello, senator. I'm like, oh, no. Southern Charm needs to take that format. Okay. I just had to get that out because who am I going to talk about House of Cards with? Nobody.

Nobody. He's like, America, I going to talk about House of Cards with? Nobody. Nobody. He's like, America, I want to pass an economic plan. I'm like, ugh, shut up. Okay. The Housewives of Atlanta. Nene is Buddha. Saint Nene.

Saint Nene. You guys, Nene does not understand what is wrong with everyone. Why can't people get along what has happened to these women that they cannot bond as women and get along why why do we always fight it's almost as if there's like a giant moose-like presence who yells at everyone every time they get together why can't they just spread gossip and lies about everybody and pits them against each other and then forgives people and pretends that she didn't because she doesn't want to do any more scenes with them. You stupid hooker, Nini. No one's ever...

We all see through that bullshit. Who are you kidding, lady? What are you even trying to do? Yeah. So the thing this week was that Nini wants to get everyone together to go to group counseling. Spoiler alert, the scenes from next week is that the first one to go march out of the group counseling is nini so uh anyway and she pulls an

apprentice too yeah where she quits and donald trump's calling her he's like what are you doing come back and she's like you were too you were too nice to star jones why don't you just go be nice to star jones again oh sorry i can't talk to you i think your other lines ring it and it's star jones to lick your ass click yeah and when she's like according to next week's promos she's like well i didn't realize this was a gang up on nini session i thought it'd be therapy but you know what's funny if everyone's like quote unquote gang up on you rather than walk out maybe you should think for a moment like okay i do feel ganged up on but if everyone has the same issues with me maybe i should listen and take note and think about how I can change this thing that everyone is so frustrated about rather than walk out.

There's a reason why they're ganging up on you, Nene. It's not because of your ramen hair. She's not trying to fix anything. She's trying to look like the nice one because she's getting so much hate on Twitter that it's becoming fucking unbearable for her. And you can't just suddenly decide that you're going to act nice in one episode and everybody's going to fall for it i mean it works for some of brandy's fans i've noticed that online but you know you can't be nice for one paragraph and then except expect everybody to fall for it because it's bullshit and if you think about almost every

issue that's going on on this show it started with nini okay this whole phaedra and candy thing oh really what a coincidence nini's calling you every day now suddenly and now you have a problem with candy that's interesting right um porsche and kenya um god what other problems cynthia obviously is her who else even has a problem she has a problem with uh claudia which is her again you know the the um the candy and porsche thing actually really bothers me because it's one of the few friendships on this show that i feel like is genuine and you can just see a combination of the producers and the other women getting into porsche's and not porsche's ear um phedra's ear did i say porsche before i meant

phedra uh getting into phedra's ear we know there's no relationship with porsche and yeah but like but you know with candy and phedra you can see like they're getting into phedra's ear and be like well she wasn't there for you she's not there for you or well she was the last one to get up and come out it's like you know what like phedra should know candy well enough to know that candy is pretty neutral and that like candy felt awkward for a moment and then she got up and came out like it's it's really kind of i don't know i don't like it well it goes deeper because candy's just disappeared and candy is probably that friend who's like oh we're best friends and then they get married and then you never see them again and then you're like yeah but i have cancer and she's

like yeah but my husband's mad at me you're like uh that's true with my cancer good point you do make a good so i get even mama joyce was feeling it yeah like i get that candy probably is like that because she devotes everything to her husband and now she's trying even harder because her husband's obviously fucking cheating at the midget hostel in la whenever he's there and sort of holding their relationship hostage because of the prenup it's like dude you are the first one when they're in these like the candy factory meetings he's the first one to be talking about money and fiscal responsibility and we gotta be on top of this gotta be on top of that well that's what your wife just did and now you're mad at her like what she did was totally reasonable to be honest you know um yeah he's just mad

because he's not getting that money sorry that's exactly right well also todd married candy when he was lower than her right so he was like some line producer or some shit on on the bravo show that's not a high i mean no offense to anybody who does that obviously but it's lower on the food chain right he was kind of in a starting out place yeah he starts dating a celebrity he becomes famous he starts all this shit on tv to get to get that ring he finally gets the ring and then he sells a show because she said that he went off to do uh i guess it's hollywood divas went into production the week after they got married so now he has a taste of success and now he understands that with that come people that act like they want to fuck you even though you're a little midget with no

personality and the new look that he's sporting in his interviews it's like a very hairy like highly sculpted but highly fluffy beard with this it's just like yeah he's gross someone's telling him he's sexy and people do that in LA because they think you have money. It's not because you're sexy, okay? Yeah. So he is thinking he's all big. Lord knows what he's doing. Maybe it's hand jobs.

Maybe it's full-on cheating. Maybe it's nothing. But that guy suddenly has an ego, and so now he's going to try and come in and try and wear the pants in that relationship? No. You may have one show, but Candy's had a whole career, okay? You don't get that in? No. You may have one show, but Candy's had a whole career, okay? You don't get that in one month. So back the fuck down and be glad that you have a prenup and work

for your own little empire so when Candy finally smartens up and dumps your ass, you can have your own money to live off of. Yeah, exactly. Okay, Todd? Run along now, little man. Run along. I don't like seeing Candy being treated like that. I do not like that. Candy's nice. Right. I agree. I love Candy being treated like that. I do not like that. Candy's nice. Right.

I agree. I love Candy. And I think that she should be bowed down to, like the angel and princess that she is, the queen that she is. And shame on Todd for giving Mama Joyce any credibility. Yeah. Because now Mama Joyce looks like at least she's paying attention. Yeah. exactly. I mean, Mama Joyce is crazy the way she intercedes,

and she's crazy in all sorts of things. But she might be right about Todd, at least, which is really awful. Yeah. He's awful. Yeah, Todd's the worst. Okay, so what else happened on there so Nikki calls everybody to Boca de Pepa

yeah they go to a Mexican restaurant she's gathering everyone together to pitch the idea of everyone going to counseling which is silly because they're all going to go to counseling anyway and also she's wondering why no one trusts it don't you remember the last time you got a sex therapist or something and made everybody wear their pajamas there was like gay party yeah and candy almost killed a bitch yeah and that

basketball player like almost fucking popped a vein that shit was so good that was great yeah that um that was so good so but to be fair to nini she gets she is being sweet fake but sweet she's saying like well i want to get everyone together and she's doing that because she was sitting home and greg was like baby how come you're not filming anything this week as he drinks out of his toilet cup and she's like no one will film with me anymore maybe i should change that before i lose my job i like i said she was being fake fake as hell but at least i mean she was being nice at the moment and she was saying like we always talk about being grown women and there have been many times when you all have not been grown women and i haven't been a grown

woman admittedly not a great way to phrase that but then cynthia starts barking and i have to say cynthia was so annoying during that scene she's like well all right but no you're saying it but i'm like cynthia just shut up cynthia she's like well i'm not i'm nobody's sidekick i'm gonna fight i don't care what anybody says i'm gonna fight you could be like oh you know i bought a new car i really like priuses and she'd be like battery you know the battery's gonna die in five years i'm not gonna stand by while you drive that battery that's gonna die in five years she wouldn't even say to stand by why you drive that battery that's going to die in five years. No, she wouldn't even say that. If you say, I'm going to buy a Prius,

she'd be like, you never liked Priuses before. Now you like Priuses? I'm just saying. I always liked Priuses, but you didn't like Priuses. Now you want to be a Prius? Fine.

That's fine. Get whatever car you want. It's not my bad. That's the sort of shit she would pull. But anyway, so they're all going to go with counseling. What was funny to me was actually earlier in the episode when Peter had this award show out of nowhere.

This like, it was like the award for excellence in excellence. I love that Cynthia's like, there's a lot of things you don't know about Peter Thomas. You know, Peter didn't just have 19 failed restaurants. Peter also was a movie was a music producer. He was up there. He's like, I would like to present the excellence and awards for excellence. Yeah. First of all, to me, for marrying a Wells Fargo check card that never ends.

I won. Thank you. He's like taking his fucking red plastic flip cup. I put this on my fireplace. Thank you. He's like taking his fucking red plastic flip cup. I'm going to put this on my fireplace. Thank you. What a depressing awards ceremony that was. There were like 10 people there.

Did you see all the empty tables that they did not obviously sell seats for? It was really sad. But, you know, right in line with a Bar One production. He's like, a lot of people didn't come here but it's because i forgot to put on the invitation that martin luther king was dead in that building over there yeah it was uh classic peter uh production it was it was just and then they like gave a surprise award to candy burrs i mean just like it was just it was just so podunk a surprise award like whoever showed up like well candies you know candies worked yeah all right just go scratch your name into it scratch your name into it he's like write it in uh uh paper

clips and then glue it to it yeah he's like uh i know there's a uh there's an image of a little leaguer on there but uh this is a real award just for you. It's a trophy just for you, even though it looks like it's for Little League. It's like a bowling trophy or something. Wait, the other thing was that Cynthia and Phaedra had to sit down. Listen, Phaedra to me is the queen because she is so obviously involved in whatever the hell happened with Apollo

I don't think there's any way that it's a coincidence that Apollo starts mouthing off to her on national TV and disrespecting her and talking about dropping $5,000 at a time at a strip club and then suddenly he's going to jail like to me Phaedra just don't fuck with phedra i

don't know why anybody would fuck with phedra she will fuck you up she will fuck you up you'll be in jail yeah and cynthia she just does not know how to confront someone she is just in over her head and then confronting on behalf of kenya it's just a it's a fool's errand or whatever that term is. And why would you invite somebody to lunch to say, now look, I know we had some words and I just didn't want you to feel like

when I brought 10 women together and accused you of having an affair on national TV which would have given your husband ammunition to possibly break the prenup and get some of your money

that that was personal. I don't want you to take that personal. Of course it was fucking personal, you stupid twat. What the hell else were you doing it for? You were doing it because it was personal. You were trying to embarrass her on purpose. You've been talking about it in every scene you're in.

Who are you kidding? I know. Like, who are you kidding? Of course it was personal. Of course it was on purpose. And I love that Phaedra's just like, bye. Like, she just got up and sauntered right on on out grabbed a mint from the bowl on her way out all right good for phaedra pack up my awesome blossom and take it home i got a box full of chocolate at home the awesome blossomidentally, is also Nini's next weave.

She'll have it upside down on top of her head. She's like, it's good to see my weave up in lights, but man, that spicy aioli can get into your eyes on a hot sunny day. Oh, it really itches. I like, by the way, the previews for next week. I assume that Nini is wearing some wig for Cinderella,

but there's no explanation, and she looks like the bride of frankenstein it really doesn't look that far off from her other wigs well this by the way this show is like starting to like catch up to when it started to air because they were talking about ebola in the u.s right they were starting to talk about the ebola patient and that was like late september and this show premiered in november so i wonder if the taping is going to overlap with when the show is actually airing, because that'll get really interesting. Oh my god, yeah, once they filmed the reunion, like Beverly Hills, I think they, no,

no, they filmed it after they were done shooting, I guess. Oh, so did you hear the gossip about Beverly Hills that, um, there's a couple things. One is that, um, this rumor, they had to film the reunion early because of Yolanda's Lyme disease or something. Yes, exactly.

And that there was a big fight between Kim and Lisa about this secret. And supposedly Bravo producers made Kim lie and say that she didn't know anything and she was just lying. Oh, I didn't hear that. That's interesting. And then what was the Harry stuff i want to know and what was the other beverly hills gossip i don't remember but it's gonna be good yeah maybe it has to do with something with la law maybe it's something with susan day susan day and blair underwood maybe the three of them had an orgy i still want to know what blair Underwood's age results are.

I keep seeing that mobile AIDS test truck with Blair Underwood's beautiful face on it. He's so handsome. He's like, come inside and get tested for HIV. But, you know, now I always think of, every time I think of HIV, it's like you're the face of HIV now. Congrats.

Congrats. The sexy, sexy face. It's like Blair Underwood's face, and then really big neck right next to his face it says hiv positive that's great good move good move blair yeah not that there's anything wrong with it no no of course not not to contribute to the stigma no no it's not that it's just like you know when joey on friends um got a print ad and then he found out it was for herpes? And then he's on billboards all over the city with herpes.

I mean, come on. Part of it's marketing, right? Yeah. Well, Blair Underwood is very, very sexy. And he can be on any billboard he wants to be. I also find him to be very sexy. Yeah, he's like, don't get HIV. Stay home and masturbate to this image of me.

I know. very sexy yeah he's like don't get hiv stay home and masturbate to this image of me i know i uh on my blog like when i first joined twitter i was like very um interested in having a celebrity follower i was like i really wanted a celebrity follower and as if i'm like not doing that now of course but like uh i decided that blair underwood i was like i want him to follow me so i launched a campaign on my blog and I did a list of all the reasons why Blair Underwood is wonderful. You're like 19 cupcakes that Blair Underwood would

really like. I know. And then he followed me and I was very happy. I think I tweeted at him once or twice. He never responded. So it's fine. He's very busy. He's a busy man. He's very busy. He's in the back of a truck that goes block to block. Yeah.

Testing, you know, testing kids for HIV. Being handsome takes time. It's like love. Love takes time. It takes a lot of sleep. Penelope Cruz sleeps 18 hours a day or some shit. Yeah. I'm like, why are you so beautiful?

And she's like, Because I don't ever wake up. I only wake up to do the movie and to do the interview. And then I go to sleep. I am asleep right now. I'm doing up to do the movie and to do the interview and then I go to sleep. I am asleep right now. I'm doing this interview from my bed. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. It is a lucid dream. Open your eyes.

That's how Vanilla Sky opens. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Oh, Penelope Cruz. This isn't working out. This movie is already not working out. Alright.

Well, we made it from every Bravo show on TV to Vanilla Sky to apps on the iPhone that are useless. I think we're done here. I think it's time to drop the mic. I think so. I feel good about that. So I think it's time to drop the mic. I think so.

I feel good about that. So the way we wrap this up is that we tell everyone thank you for listening and we remind everyone that you can follow us on our various social media channels by going to watchwhatcrappens.com You see links to everything. And if you want to

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