Watch What Crappens - #1697 RHONJ: Fraught With Frat-saster
Episode Date: February 20, 2022Jackie throws a frat party on this week's Real Housewives of New Jersey, and the keg is going to be thrown like one of Donkey Kong's barrels by the end of it all. What ah ya gonna doooo about... iiiit!? This was a live show in LA that had lost audio, so we've recorded the entire recap in its entirety. Love you guys. This week's bonus episode is a trailer breakdown of Below Deck Sailing Yacht and is also a Crappens On Demand video. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. We're on tour! Coming to St Paul, Milwaukee, Chicago, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Columbus and Cleveland! Get our tour stop dates and your tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com and find tour merch including new Crappens leggings and pins at crappensmerch.com  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today.
Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride.
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just
love to talk about.
I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Caram, hey
Ronnie how are you?
Well hello Benino.
Hi good morning.
You know this is a, oh, I just like
inhaled saliva. I, if I sounded like I was getting choked up, I wasn't, but I
can pretend like I was. I was gonna say this is a very special podcast because
it's the rare Saturday morning episode that we are recording. Because last night,
we did an absolutely wonderful, amazing show in downtown Los Angeles
at the Blasco Theater where we recap the real housewives of New Jersey and
the audience at for everyone who showed up, anyone who's listening who showed up,
it was, you guys were an amazing audience, it was so fun, everyone was wonderful, and unfortunately, the audio never came through.
So we are re-recording our recap,
we have not had to do this in many, many, many years,
but we are still watch our crap ends,
and if there's anything that's synonymous with our brand,
it's technical malfunctions, so here we are,
we're redoing it.
If we fall down, we just get right back up
to sit back down again.
We just get up very, very slowly
and sort of like prop ourselves up into a chair again.
And make hotels crazy,
because I am doing this today from a beautiful hotel
overlooking the Hollywood Hills.
And so it's my summer t pretending, you know, like, wow,
this is probably how Sandra Bullock does what happens.
It totally is.
I heard that that's how she podcasts.
She just goes to a hotel and is like, we're starting boys.
I think her podcast would be named like Billy.
And people would be like, why is it named Billy?
She's like, cause, cause I'm Sandra Bullock
and that's what I do.
I can do whatever I want to.
If you don't understand, you don't get it.
Yeah, I think that's actually a very fair prediction.
Like I for sure,
consider having a podcast named Billy.
But we've been played with little,
we've been played with issues for the past few days.
I mean, you had an issue with your door at the hotel.
Right?
We're a little key card stopped working so they had to like, soft through the door.
And that was like an hour.
And I felt really bad because the guy didn't know how to do it.
Like it was his first time.
So he's like going through a manual and just pulling out every tool.
Well, you've got me standing behind you like heavily breathing, you know,
pissed off, but trying not to be this was when great.
You're doing great.
Hi, I mean, God damn it.
I mean, this was right after our San Diego show.
So we just finished a show, come back to the hotel and you're texting me.
These pictures of like this guy drilling your door open.
And the other poor people who are probably trying to sleep in the middle of the night,
a drill is going off. I couldn't believe it.
Squeeing, you know, like a squeed drill, like a Ramona singer-laught drill.
And so finally, a guy did come out of his closet and he was, you know, how pissed people do it,
but they're like rich. I think he was like a rich pissed off person because he came out and he slammed his door
behind him and then he just stood there.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know. I know. I back and we slept this door again.
I'm not.
I'm not.
It's almost worth it for that.
And then the next day, we had to go up to Los Angeles for our show and our train, someone
got hit by a train, which was terrible.
And so then our train got canceled.
So then we had to like take an Uber.
So it was like, it was like all these mishaps and we're in this Uber.
And we had a very nice driver for three hours.
But he was constantly startled by other cars.
We'd be driving at a car with like a pure next to him and he'd be like, whoa, and the car would sort of like
break and serve at the same time for three hours. I was like, just get me to a.
Whenever you get an Uber driver that's super excited, you know, because he should have been
pissed.
We were in San Diego.
We were saying, well, you Uber us all the way to LA.
He should have been like, fuck this, fuck no, find somebody else.
What do I look like to you?
What do you get to waste my whole day?
Like that, that's a normal attitude.
But he was like, oh, yes, great.
Get in the car.
This is going to be great.
You know what I'm going to do?
I'm just going to stop and get some gas. I'm going to do. I'm going to stop and get some gas.
I'm going to make a day out of getting guys and I was like I'm putting these
cancel noise canceling headphones on. Have fun with that then. So I've watching movies and stuff.
I didn't hear a damn thing until Ben got out of the car. But then after that, I learned that he has lived in Alaska for many years on a bear reserve. And he had to learn how to deal with bears
and, you know, like, how not to kill them
or how not to get killed by them.
And he's like, you know, if it's,
you have to look around first, is there baby bears?
Because if there's baby bears, there's a mama bear.
And the mama bear will kill you if there's some baby bear.
Now if it's the daddy bear, the daddy bear,
you don't really know what they want.
They don't really want to be your friends,
they don't want to be your enemies,
they just want some food.
So I spent a lot of time doing that.
Unfortunately, I was also a salmon fisherman,
so I was kind of smelled.
And I was like, oh my God, how are you even alive?
Well, my conversations were very different.
We talked about Vietnam.
Oh God. Yeah, I would have been like,
have you seen Messai gone? Because that's about Vietnam. Well, I asked him if you've seen
the documentary. Gosh. Anyway, we are not here to talk about our Uber driver, although
we probably could have. We are here to give you guys the New Jersey recap that was never
recorded. I mean, normally we would just say,
you know what, unfortunately that's fate,
but it's New Jersey and we feel like,
we've been telling people all week long,
just wait until Saturday, wait until Saturday,
and then if people wait until Saturday
and then there's nothing there,
we feel like shit heads.
So we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it all over again.
Are you ready to do this, Ronnie?
Yes, I am ready, Ben.
So this week, we got our new Jersey taglines.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
So, the first one is Melissa, who starts off with
some people at Bongray and some people at Bon Jersey,
which is like, it's so offensive.
It's so, like, she actually went on social media and was like,
put the record, I don't like this tagline,
they made me say it.
Yeah, that is not a great one.
You know, I pulled up last season.
So what is this season 12?
I think it's season 12.
Why the taglines are perfect, okay?
So maybe this is it. Jennifer Aiden plans to
turn program is home into B&B someday. Oh my god. Could you imagine waking up in Jennifer's
home? Oh, geez. That's not what I think of when I think of a bed and breakfast. I don't
think of I don't think of a giant, you know, a giant home with white marble surfaces and crazy chairs.
Although she did get the furniture upgrade, but still,
that's not what I thought.
She did get the Z Gallery furniture ad addition to her home.
We're on Instagram, she's like,
Look at my new furniture.
And it was like all that gray Z Gallery stuff.
I guess she got for free.
Yeah, did not go to China for it.
Yeah, so then, so who'd you just do? I forgot.
I did Melissa.
It's morning.
Yeah, by the way, this is gonna be a real interesting recap.
We're both like, you know,
and we did like all these jokes last night.
So they're like, I keep on wanting to say like,
well, I said last night,
because I don't want people to be like,
he's saying the same joke again,
but I think I'm just kind of divorced myself
and then pushed through.
You know what, last night was so fun.
Just pretend it was a fever dream.
Like it never even happened, okay?
And now we're back.
I got it.
It's okay, yeah.
So Margaret Joseph's is, I say,
when you have nothing to hide, this nothing to lose.
Which, you know, I don't think that's true because you can lose, like, money, you know,
you lose money.
You can lose.
Literally everything.
Literally everything you acquired because you had nothing to hide.
Yeah, you can lose anything that you don't hide.
I mean, I say that you hide things so you don't lose the things.
I mean, of course, Marge is talking about how she loves to just come out and put everything
out on the table because that really was her housewife's superpower when she came onto
the show and she's like, hello, I'm much.
I cheated on my husband who ran away with the handyman.
There, try to say something about it.
I dare you.
I dare you to come after me about it because there, I said it. Okay, it's done. So that's her tactic on getting away with everything and not having
the stuff used against her. So I get it. But in real life applications, girl, you better hide stuff.
Just people will still stuff if you don't hide it. Yeah, I mean, just because it's not actually,
things are more easily stolen
when they're out in the open.
So then Dolores goes, hers, her tagline is,
I don't stop the drama, but I will stop the show.
Which actually, like, I'm now imagining Dolores
at like Hamilton, and I'm like,
I like, I'm the Hamilton, wait, stop, stop.
There's a, you know, you're gonna kill this man.
You're gonna kill this.
He's the star of the show.
I'm stopping this show, everyone.
I'm sorry.
You can't kill this man.
Okay.
He can't.
You know what?
Your time is up.
The show is this is time for the show to be over.
I'm stopping the show.
And you know what?
By the way, people would sit through this show more if you
didn't say your own name so much. Like who wants to come to a show with somebody just says the name the whole time.
Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton, like we get it. Okay. What are you gonna do about it?
All right, you know what cast of Oklahoma? I'm stopping this show. Okay, you're a girl who can't say no.
What's wrong with you? You got to say no in life. Okay, you're a girl who can't say no. What's wrong with you?
You gotta say no in life.
Okay, you know I've had enough of this.
I can't deal with you.
I'm leaving.
Stopping Oklahoma forever.
Stopping lame is.
All right, listen, stop crying.
Okay, like I know something happened to you,
but just stop.
All right, this is enough.
All right, we've got some lovely breads
made into alligators over here.
Stopped your crying.
All right, so you want to do the next tagline?
Sure. Oh, it's Jennifer Aiden.
My nose may be in due, but I could still smell a rat banana.
Speaking of musicals, it's like it's so, it's so guys and dolcey. Like, where's the crap's tab?
I'm gonna be hacking smell that with my nose!
Nathan, Nathan, everybody, Nathan! Wait a minute! I can smell a rat!
Stop it, everyone stop it. Okay, they're rocking the boat too much, too much rock in the boat.
Oh, so you're Theresa. I have a new king, but I'm still the queen of New Jersey.
Which I'm so sorry for New Jersey, that's Theresa's your queen. I'm so sorry. I mean, I was,
I was hope, I mean, I feel like there are a lot of good Jersey queen candidates
and for Teresa to be the one that wins, that's harsh.
Yeah, because that would be like being the mayor
of the Jersey, you know, like the queen.
You can't just, you can't have Teresa like that.
Like people would come to city hall meetings
being like, uh, man, we really need a red light
on the corner of fifth and meatball
because people are just falling right into this giant pot hole.
So you bet, you know, Tony's gonna put a pool in the air.
Okay.
But, but, this is a terrible zoning queen.
Yeah.
We can't just have a pool in an intersection.
Okay.
Yeah, you shouldn't have sex and into
pool. Okay, I'll put that into a world. Get out of the pool before you have any sex and
all right. And then finally, we have Jackie. You don't have to pay me a compliment, but
you do have to pay me respect. Says the poor cast, the cast member who's received like
virtually no respect for past four seasons
on the show. Every season they just shit on her. She's so rich too. I just don't like her asking
for us to pay for things. That's when rich people that you know go on Facebook and they're like,
oh my god, it's my friend Margaret's birthday. We're starting to go fund me. I'm like, you are the
go fund me, but you do that. We don't have millions of dollars.
Okay.
You just posted a picture of yourself and a bikini in a Bugatti yesterday.
Be odd.
You funder.
Did she really do that?
Yes.
I was like, that's such a specific reference.
I was like that.
That must have happened.
I was like, Ryan doesn't often put a Bugatti reference.
I was like, Ryan doesn't often plot a Bugatti reference. Okay, I can close that window.
Goodbye window.
Thank you for having me.
Goodbye tag lines.
Good bye tag lines.
So no, Jackie's is definitely the best.
Wow, some people are great and some people are Jersey
Born great a born Jersey smelling like chemical plants
So It's a versus house. I'm so sorry New Jersey. I'm so sorry for like the fine people in New Jersey
Who have to like deal with the slander every single day from all parts of the country?
Jersey where the state flowers the Pachama is is the Puck in the urinal, the
guys Pion. Some people were born great and some people were born Jersey and by Jersey
I mean sort of smelling like that Roy Rogers that was on the garden state parkway that
you'd stop in on the way to Philadelphia. So we open it to Laura's house for just a classic slice of Americana. Okay, so she's there with her kids and
Frankie's like, ma, you're gonna bring the sauce here, huh?
Not you got a lot of the flame on the sauce the sauce. Oh god. Thank God Frankie's back. Thank you, Frankie
God, you're so beautiful. Frankie, you're amazing. And then Gabby enters and Delores goes
Oh Gabby's home as if the Gabby hadn't been there like that more she just like went to Starbucks
Oh
Gab Gab's home
Gab's just had walked down to the Dollar Tree to grab herself some more rags to give
herself like rag baths because none of the water is running properly
in the house.
Gabby is so cranky because she's always been just like, you know, just like nice, like
yeah, I'm a veterinarian and I only know him into school and like the Virgin Islands
and I'm back now to take care of dogs.
But this season, she's like, what the fuck is going on with this family?
I mean, the fucking house, the fucking faucets, she's pissed.
Yeah, she's like, I gotta make shifts.
Think it's disgusting, it's only cold water.
Cause Frank was like, you'll move on,
you'll have a place to stay.
So I did and no water.
I mean, come on.
I haven't seen a worker in three weeks.
So Dolores is like, well, you know,
Frank still hasn't finished the house.
So I had the kids move in with me until Frank gets on his game and finishes what he has to do,
which means that those kids are living with Dolores for the next 12 years or so.
Yeah. And Frank is just over there in his own little world like,
my, the slice, my, hey, listen, at least if I had my own, my own house,
I would know if you used butter or in this sauce. What is it?
Oil butter is the butter oil oil is oil Frankie. It's oil Frankie and a little bit of your hair product.
Delicious.
The sauce is standing straight up.
The sauce is working out somewhere. Yeah, it's got like bangs and just never move.
This house is doing real estate with Louis.
So, Gabby's like, my, this is too much tension.
And I'm like, Frank, and you know that your kid hates you and they call you by your first
name, you know?
It's like no respect.
Like, I'm like, Frank, how hard is it for you to have a place for me to come
with my 19 dogs, okay?
And you know what, I don't even think we talk
for three days after that.
And you know why I know that?
Because every, I've been answering the phone
for three days with that big, getting spit in my ear.
All right, that's how I know.
No.
So Dolores has some bad news.
She goes, well, I got news for you.
Dad's coming home. Dad wants to come home and live with you guys news. She goes, well, I got news for you. Dad's coming home.
Dad wants to come home and live with you guys.
Like, of course, where is, where does Frank live?
He lives in the show house.
But like, of course, Frank's coming home.
That's like his whole thing.
Frank is always, I feel like the story of Frank's life
is, well, guess what?
Frank's moving in.
He's always moving in somewhere.
It's the prodigal Frank, you know.
Frank every year has that moment where he's like, He's always moving in somewhere. It's the prodigal Frank, you know.
Frank every year has a moment where he's like,
you know what?
People bothering me about shinks.
Well, guess what?
I'm gonna be on the show, right?
And so if anyone needs me, that's where I can be.
That's the appreciation I get from this family.
And then a year later, he's like really hungry.
Well, just the conversations either at Delores House or whoever's next door at the shore.
Oh, hey, Sal, guess what? Frank's moving in. Yeah, he's back. It's a short, it's a short,
it's a short, he's spending this year at the shore. Next year, back at Dolores House.
Yeah, the two old ladies who sit on the stoop in front of their house, like, oh, there he is. It's Frank. He's back.
There he is. There he is. There he is. he's back. There he is, there he is.
There he is, there he is.
By the way, that's pretty much what anyone missed last night
was us for two hours going, there he is.
And we will continue to do it today.
So the loris is like, listen,
we're gonna keep a calm gab, all right?
Like, I didn't keep this family together
through divorce, through growing kids.
Like, half the time, he didn't even know I did everything.
Okay?
And then we get a clip from 2018 of her with Frankie
and telling Frank, hey, Frank, did you have fun
while I raised your children?
As I saw you driving up and down the bay
with all the whores hanging off of your bow.
And then Dolores tells us, you know what, Frank, he just, he doesn't like being upset.
He wants calm and nice in this household, which is too bad because when Frank would bring all those
hoars around, that really disrupted it. But what can you say, he likes the hoars?
You know what, ma? I just say, in kind of of fighting all right and I'm the peaceful one
I just the nights peaceful one this film. I don't even care. I don't even care if it's butter
I don't care if it's oil all right my I just I care about the past
I
Then Dolores is like well well Gabby is very upset. She's like okay. Well Frank's moving in I want ground rules Frank can't have guests
Basically she doesn't want and I know, this is normally I'd be like, okay, you're being ridiculous, but I can actually like, I think that's fair. I don't think if
you're Frank's daughter, you want to be in, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, It's not a take care of my back. You know he's loud too, right?
You know he's real loud.
So basically, Dolores is like, you know what, we're going to have a family meeting.
I mean, isn't that crazy?
Who the hell are we?
I'm doing a family meeting.
Yeah, what are we?
Loses.
Meanwhile, they always have family meetings.
Remember last year, Dolores is like, guys guys I'm having a family meeting because I thought I might have
cancer but I didn't have cancer so instead I got takeout for tonight. Okay
meeting is over. So we go to see what everyone else is doing in Jersey today and
we started a mouse house and the kids are swimming and she's like, Joey, oh, Joey, look at you.
You got your physique from me and Joey, Junior, Junior, oh, look at you.
You got your face from me.
Melissa, nobody got their face from you.
Yeah.
I don't know who we're trying to kid that that is your natural board.
That is not the thing.
We have to talk now.
Okay.
All we have to do is select a different episode.
Girl.
And also, this is where I saw my new favorite bridge, as I mentioned last night, this bridge
that said, the most real housewives bridge of all time that says, Trenton makes and the
world takes.
It's like the totally Sigmie Flicker in Bridgeform.
Ah, you're taking everything from all I do is make and make and make and you just take
from me.
The first end that starts out is you never call and the last end set, Yamada.
You're just trash can lids on the bridge that you have to drive over.
Joshua.
Some good, so some good
city flicker deep cuts.
What was his name?
It's used to always come.
Josh Michael.
Oh God, I use to.
Michael Lapinala.
My lap.
Lemon Jello.
Oh, Siggie, such a crazy nut face.
Like God, I loved her on this show.
The Prince that gives everything and takes nothing and you don't remember her child's name.
To be fair, it could also be a Danielle stopbridge.
I, I, make everything and this group of ladies takes everything from me.
It's like if you swore swear, we change lanes, assign a
beard that goes, pay attention, police. There's bodyguards on the bridge for no reason.
Calling people the F word as they pass. Wow, we do it. That's how we talk.
The Danny Bridge. At the to the at the to the Danny province on O bridge. At the toll booth instead of
the gate just going off it's just does a big split.
Oh, it's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and… Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.
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Okay, so then we get over to the next generation setup.
Gea is now making clothes and she's working with a boutique owner whose name is Kim.
If you're if you are named Kim and you grew up in Jersey, you are pre-destined on a boutique. That's what we've learned.
Hi, first day of class. My name is Kim. I'm here for pre law.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Any name is Kim.
You're going to be hanging clothes for the rest of your life.
Please move to that other line of you.
All right, the Jersey magic hat has sorted.
OK.
OK.
You're going to be a hairdresser.
Are you going to be a thing of hangar on things?
It has been decided you were a house ten of fly.
Can I open a restaurant or something?
I'm sorry. That's the house of Hoboken.
They were over there.
They're over there marrying their catchups.
What about a cookbook or something?
Or I could be a hairdresser.
That's how's T-neck.
I'm sorry.
This is your 10-of-lie.
Oh, so after the sorting hats are done,
Kim ends up with this magical little boutique.
And so far all we know is that they sell
a bunch of different pastel-colored versions of,
we're gonna put them on there.
Think it's about something and everything.
I didn't think about it.
I didn't think about it.
I didn't think about it.
I didn't think about it.
I didn't think about it.
I didn't think about it.
I didn't think about it.
I didn't think about it.
I feel like I'm very happy that Gia is trying to capitalize on this thing.
I feel like something, if you're going to, like, if your brand name is trying to capitalize on this thing. I feel like something, if you're
going to, like, if your brand name is going to be waking up in the morning, like sure,
a sweatshirt works, what about pajamas? What about like a coffee mug? What about things
that you use when you wake up in the morning? Toilet paper, some good toilet paper. Yeah,
toothbrush, toothbrush, you know's something you can cry into.
I don't know, something that catches tears, you know, all those morning things.
But I like that she's starting small because it's a business that could really expand.
You know, you've got waking up in the morning and then just continue thinking of someone
that thinks that's another t-shirt I would buy.
And just wish things would get better.
That's like what sad people would buy, you know. Oh, hey, love your just wish things would get better. That's like what sad people would buy, you know, oh, hey
Love you're just wish things would get better to you sure. I know I can imagine walking down the street with a shirt and said just wish
Things would get better. That is like the vague posting of t-shirts
Just can't get rid of them t-shirt number four
So yeah little Kim's like okay, so here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna do.
Yeah, she's like, here's what we're gonna do.
The first fashion show is just gonna be nice, all right?
It's gonna be pastel every different color.
We're gonna march them all out.
You're gonna look like a bunch of little Italian eggs with the saying no one really understands
on it. Okay, get in line.
Sorry.
We'll use their egg hunt.
Sad use their eggs waking up in the morning.
And Teresa's like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm just going to wake up in the morning and
we're viral.
Did it?
I was so proud to have traumatized her so bad she put the words down on paper, bedding
for social service. This is to come get.
Seriously. So Teresa is, you know, she's like, Hey,
Melania, you see the text that Louis wrote today because Louis
sent them a text. He's invited the both families like judaices and the gorgas together to have a
pizza night and Melania is like not into it because she now like G.I. already had her arc about
being mad at you know Joe Gorgas and now she wants her arc of being mad at Joe Gorgas so she's
like I'm not gonna go to that I don't want to see Joe. And she is like yes yes, you are. There's no reason for you not to go to bed. And she's like,
well, obviously I'm still hurt over what happened, you know, and like CNN and screaming at you
about my father. And then she told me what happened. So she is over there and being like,
just get over it while she's also coming home. Like, you believe what I told Uncle
see you the day. Yeah, it's like she get play both sides. You just you just spent probably the past three
months talking about how you're so pissed at Uncle Joe and now you've like turned all
your sisters against Uncle Joe and now you're suddenly over it and then you expect them
to be just as over it as well. That doesn't work that way.
I hate that. I hate when you're all about to get in
up on somebody and the main ring leader is like, you know what? Let's just, let's just learn to forgive. Like, no, you got me mad like
this. Yes, that always happens to me. I'm always the one who gets like stoked into rage.
And then I'm just like left there, left there with my rage. And then I'm the weird one.
And then everyone else is friends again. And you're on the side not being invited anywhere
because now suddenly you've got an attitude.
May I tell a story?
Please.
I may have told the story of the podcast who knows it's been 10 years but it's a good
time to bring it back up again.
When I was in kindergarten, I was in the kindergarten production of Snow White, obviously a very famous
fairytale. which is obviously a very famous fairy tale. And I was chosen to play, I was cast as a tree.
And there were several trees.
There were about six or seven trees,
some were played by boys, some were played by girls.
It was all inclusive,
far as that we had created.
And so the whole scene was that,
like when Snow White goes running away
from the castle, she's supposed to run to the forest. And the teachers said we could be scary
trees or we could be nice trees. So all the girls were like, let's be the nice trees. We'll
be the ones up like, run Snow White, run, you can do it Snow White. And then all the boys,
we were like, ooh, let's be scary. And we'll be like, ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, good luck, Noah, you know.
So that was like the pack that we're gonna,
so then it's show time and the trees are lined up
and I'm the first tree, like in the row of trees.
So Snow White comes running into the forest
and I'm like, I'm like, ooh, ah, ah, ah,
dies, Snow White.
And then every other tree, boy and girl,
we're like, run Snow White, you can do it, run to safety.
So I was this one psycho tree
because everyone amp me up to be the mean tree.
And then everyone was the nice tree.
So there's like, all these parents
were probably very concerned,
like who is that one like maniacal tree,
that one like homicidal tree that wants snow
or to die and that's otherwise very supportive first?
So I've been there. I have been, I have been, I have been, I have been, my anger has been stoked and then I've been abandoned.
But that is so funny. That is such a betrayal.
And you know, there's nothing that hurts worse than a theatrical betrayal, like a betrayal in the theater, you know,
because those people are supposed to have your back. Like literally have to play have your back games like Ben fall into the other trees and trust that they're gonna catch you, you know, and you were just totally dropped on the we have a problem tree. This joke cannot go on.
Tree. Why you cry and tree? Why you cry?
Yeah, I was, I was an evil tree.
We're learning a lot about my childhood plays
because I think I did just admit the other night
that I played Dan Rather and fourth grade.
Hello, this is Dan Rather.
Hey, look right.
This is the other half of our new customer. We're of someone else. The Dan Rather. Hey, look right, Waddle. This is the other half of our new cast member of someone else.
Dan Rather was grown up Carl.
Hello, I'm Dan Rather.
It's like, did you bring me a bottle of water?
Because I don't know why you're here right now, sir.
Next time you come over here, sir,
could you bring some snacks with you?
This is a green room.
Thank you.
The news looks great, Bawdawai.
Put your news on me, bro.
Okay. So Teresa's like, yeah, Mulani, I didn't see the taxidate that I always made. It was a
mole juice and you got it. It read the line pineapple pineapple pizza house. That means come to my
house with your good tasting vagina from pizza.
come to my house with your good taste and vagina from pink to my
So Melania is like really not sure she wants to do this and Geo tells us Melania has the biggest hot if you go after her dad
The guy that she loves the most she's gonna have the biggest grudge against you and
But she was the clip they showed of this to prove how much Melania loved her dad
was crying when her dad is in jail.
She's like, God, whoever you are, please bring back daddy, but they really needed to
show like a more loving clip.
Like, I want some pizza, y'all, show.
That would have been good.
That would have been good.
Or Ben's personal favorite, the scene of Melania shaving her dad's back while her mom
was in jail.
You know, it's funny because I did mention that scene last night and I was like, you know,
that scene does create such a visceral reaction.
Do I really want to, you know, am I, am I tempting faith by invoking it two days in a row, but
I think you're right.
It had to be mentioned. Well, yeah, I wasn't going to let you get away with not
mentioning it, A, because last night never happened.
This is the first time where I'm reading.
I know.
I can't.
What did that's right?
I forgot.
It was a fever dream.
It was a fever dream.
Like we're trying to give people what they want here,
not FOMO.
We're like, yeah, we're doing this recap.
But remember the recap we did that you'll never hear.
But also, it's an important thing because it's visceral, but it's just part of life, you know,
like I used to be the kind of guy that was like gross, hair is disgusting. I'm going to be shaved
forever. And then, you know, I forgot that I was Lebanese somehow. And man, 30, 30 hits and all
the hair leaves the head and just moves everywhere else on your body. Like I actually have a back shavering thing.
Really?
God, I'm a slot that unfolds, you know? Like I have to be my, and I think of, I think of
Alania every time. Like God, I wish I had a daughter. I wish I had a daughter.
It's the only time that made me think I really should have had a family.
Yeah, or some sort of like little elf, you know?
No, you don't trust them the same way.
Because there's something when your family does
something gross because like you know,
when your parents get old and they're in the hospital,
like at the point where I'm looking at my parents now,
you know, they're not too elderly,
but they're old enough that I'm looking at them like,
I'm gonna have to hose you down soon.
You know, like we're getting to that point
in our relationship.
So I think it's important that family
does really gross things for each other like that.
It's like that movie, The Judge,
this really awful movie with Robert Downey Jr.
and Robert DuVall.
And it's like, oh, a gritty, gritty story about an aging guy
who is a judge, but he's also a mean dad.
And like it's supposed to show like the realities
of getting older.
And like he based Robert Du DeVolpe actually shifts himself
and Robert Downey Jr. has to hose him down and clean him up
and there's like Bon Iver playing in the background
and I'm like, what is this shit?
Come on, what's happening? Stop the show.
I wanna do the worst. Stop this movie, it's stupid.
So they take pictures with all the sweatshirts
and Theresa won't even put one on.
She just holds it in front of her.
She's like, can I disappoint if my outfits really good today?
So they take the pictures and will Melania come
or will Melania not come?
And she tells her to get over herself
and she's gonna come basically.
Yeah, it's pizza.
By the way, free pizza, which you have to make yourself,
but still free pizza.
So of course, she's gonna be there.
That's what you need. And from pizza. From pizza is different than the people saying we're gonna order a pizza.
When people are like, I'm gonna make a pizza.
I'm like, no thanks, I'm really, really busy.
But Ronnie, you don't have to job.
Yeah, but I'm gonna be busy ordering real pizza.
So thanks.
Tell me how yours is.
Face time me.
But in Jersey, I feel like most pizzas real pizza.
And then at the same time, I feel like saying,
oh, we're going to go someplace to have pizza,
is like saying, hey, bring go to Louis house,
have a glass of water.
I mean, I just feel like having pizza in Jersey is just like,
it's just it's common.
It's like candy in a dish.
You know, like there should be just little pizza dishes
everywhere you go in.
Pizza's in a dish.
Don't forget to take a meatball when you're done.
They're on the way out on the little coffee table at the front door.
Yeah, when you go trick or trick or treating in Jersey,
you just get different pasta shapes, just throw it into your bag.
Oh my God, I get them gold.
I got the spaghetti tell.
Come on.
I just want to also say I have family that lives in Jersey.
So if anyone's getting mad, I'm gonna use them as my defense.
Okay, so then we go over to this very big chunky scene
with demands.
This scene is brought to you by the color Seafoam
because all the guys are wearing Seafoam today.
And it's just like,
they're all wearing the shirts
that their wives have picked out for them,
especially Joby.
Joby rocked the C-foam polo last season,
and he's like, you know what, it was a big hit,
gonna do it again this season.
I'm gonna wear the C-foam Ralph Lauren polo, okay?
And it's like every year's version of C-foam
because every year,
Old Navy puts out the C phone
But they change it just slightly so old Navy fanatics can get snott because old Navy people can't really get snottie
Right you walk into a room and everybody's like, oh, wow, that's old Navy because everybody knows all the clothes and old Navy
And they know that old Navy C phone green so every year if they change it just a little they change the tone
So you can't even look good with your other
old, they be friends because it's like now they're in new C-Phone green and you're in like two
year ago C-Phone green. Yeah. Yeah. You could see a phone, you know. Which is funny because I was
something about it. I'm like, wait a second. I have that C-Phone below. Uh. I do have it.
I do too.
And I think the last time that I wore it, I saw my mom, and I wore it because it has a
collar.
So, you know, to me, and the guy's on hoot jerseys, he's like, I'm dressed up now.
It's like a short sleeve cotton shirt, but it's like, hey, it's got a collar.
I'm dressed up.
So I showed up somewhere, and my mom goes, wow, that shirt.
Is it bad?
Don't you like it?
Why would you even have bought that?
It was five dollars.
She said, it looks like scrubs.
You look like you look like you're studying in scrubs.
Wait, I feel like that's okay to be in scrubs.
I've that shows that you're a medical professional, but not at a chile.
It's like, you know, formal scrubs.
Are you saying that your mom don't want no scrubs?
I'm saying that she's saying all the dreams she had for me
basically overeating at the chileys.
So speaking of overeating,
incomes, Joe Gorgah, and he does this thing
where he taps Joe Benino on the left,
but then he like appears on the right.
And of course, Joe Benino falls for it because you know that March probably does it to him all day long around the house.
Okay, I'm going to do it to Joe. I'm going to tap him on the other shoulder and be on the other side.
Watch, watch. Oh, he fell for it again. He never learns just like he never learned how to make a nice coffee.
But you can't do that to, you can't do that to everybody. Like you can't come up behind Sige Flicker and like, you know, swing your leg over to
kick her on the butt and pretend it was somewhat behind her.
Cause she'll turn and like shoot the person behind her.
Like, oh, you didn't know I believed in my second amendment rights did you?
Ha, the world takes everything.
Thank you. So, Frank, these are old guys ready to drink right?
Because they're like, we'll take three expressos, we'll take three expressos, okay?
And the vlog is some drinks.
I'll have an Apple TV, all right?
I'll be an Apple TV, I have to expressos.
There's a lot of expresso ordering.
They wind up ordering so much food.
This is how you know when Bravo is paying the bill
because they order so much food
that they get another table.
And it's not because they're hungry.
This is like the ordering that you do
when you know you can just buy anything
because they just sample everything on them.
And you're just like a million tacos.
It's one of those places that has,
it's like global cuisine.
So it's like, yeah, I love the tacos and the Korean barbecue
and the spaghetti and meatballs and
And the falafel
I don't know what's going on, but it's all on that table
So they Joe starts giving him shit. He's like yeah look. I'm here with grandpa and grandpa
Joe starts giving him shit. He's like, yeah, look, I'm here with grandpa and grandpa.
And Frank's like, you know what,
what could you, could you see if there's a high chair
for this kid?
Come on, get a high care for this shit.
Come on.
Yeah, he's, and Frank is like, so how's the feel
when grandpa gets more lead than you do, eh?
And Joe Gorgas's like, you don't get lead more.
I get lead a lot, huh?
Oh, yeah, not only can I out sex you I can out twink you too
Gentlemen here's your three shots of activity followed by your three shots of espresso
Followed by your girl drinks, okay enjoy
Yeah, and Frank Frank is like you know what I think I think he calculates how much he's having sex when no one's else in the room except himself
And he's like, nah, then I would be saying I got sex six times a day, right?
Come on, there he is me.
There he is.
There he is.
Hey, did the Laura's that Vakachi whacking it and Frank goes, ah, yeah, the Laura's perfectly okay with it
I mean, I'm just doing right there in the living room. Everyone's seen it at this point. She don't dare.
You know, wish if she had some chicken to flatten to make a, you know, a parmesan, she'd
just say, Frank bring it in here. I just, I'll whack in the chicken way. You know, she
was, she was the same to Lord, you know, and I tell people, you know, it got cheap, you
know, and yeah, I cheated on the Lord's place. It's not her fault. All right, because
we animals, we're fucking animals. What are you gonna do, you know, ask, I cheated on the Lord's play. It's not her for all right because we animals. We're fucking the animals
What are you gonna do? You know ask a dog not to squat while the boobs. That's what they do
So lesson be learned we cannot be held responsible for anything we do because we're just animals there
That's like great
And so it's like wow that made me come I can't
All right, that's how much I come.
All right, that's how much I come.
So Joe Benino is, he's got something to say.
He's just been sitting there quietly nibbling on a taco.
And so finally, he's like, well, you know,
if Margie Kielsova, the Loris is mine.
And they're like, okay, old man, that's nice, that's cute.
So Frank, Frank is like, oh, well, can I tell you something?
This renovation is caused heavy conflict
between me and my kids.
It's terrible right now.
I mean, my daughter, all right.
I got a room done.
I got a brass room done.
And she's so mad at me, so now listen to me.
I'm moving into the Lord's South.
I mean, okay, I guess, you know,
she fell down to stairs because there's no railing.
So like, she's still holding that against me for a while.
How long? Okay, so it broke her arms.
You can't use it the same way.
The one that she used to operate on all the animals.
Big deal, we all have us at PAX.
Listen, one of the poodles tried to make it down the stairs, didn't live to the bottom.
You know what I'm gonna say?
It's a rescue, okay?
It's a rescue that I'll make it.
You can't rescue everything, not even the rescues that you've already rescued.
And Ben's like, but they're going to kill you if you go in there.
He said, Glitz, I can't take people all in to me and show all of me.
But when it comes to my kids, who knew you got older and you got to take Shepham to
kids?
Everybody.
Everyone everybody know that. When you're older, when you're older is the time you get to gaslight
your parents all the time.
Like, dad, why is your music so loud?
Oh my God, is it loud?
Yeah, it's really loud, Daddy, you okay?
Oh my God, I can barely hear it.
That's embarrassing.
I'm gonna turn it off.
It wasn't loud at all.
Like I could barely hear it, you know?
But now's the time when you get to just fuck with them
all the time.
Yeah.
So then, Joe Gorgas asking, like,
what's going on with Dolores
if she's moving on with David and Frank's like,
no, I don't even know if Dolores even gave it anymore.
So, the Lord says he even tell me,
I haven't seen him around.
I think he's trouble and paradise.
I don't think you're living on the other day.
There wasn't even a motorcycle in there.
It was crazy.
I don't know what's going on with him? So the shots come now and Frank's like, can I have a line with my shot to it? And Joe's like, ah,
Your bitch, what you need a line? Come on, bitch. And Benino says, yeah, I'll have a line to bitches. Both of you for
Giants. You got the Giants, all right? You know what you're gonna identify now as bitches. That's right
I miss literally a line
I'm gonna Instagram you need to put bimino bitch slash bitch all right so people can know how to identify gas
So
Gorgas like so yeah, you what happened with Bill and Frank goes oh, yeah, I feel bad for him
Man, I mean bills a good guy. I called him to make sure he's okay. I'm like. Oh, yeah
I feel so bad for Bill who cheated on his wife like why are we protecting Bill okay?
Now I know that this is something that Jennifer was keeping private so I you know
I can understand the argument that like we feel bad for Jennifer because she didn't want to discuss this.
It's embarrassing for her,
but we don't have to feel bad for Bill.
Right, but those are good friends to be like,
well, you got with you, you got caught
with you dick in the cookie jaw.
I was like,
did it make you come?
Cookies are hot.
Cookies are hot, right?
So it's like the guys just checking to make sure
that his feelings aren't hurt
after almost ruining his life. It's a very guy thing to do. Yeah. So they're calling to check on him and
Benino's like, you know, no, I didn't do it because you know, it's a little close to home with him
and Marge with the lorison, Marge fighting and you know, I think he's a great guy, but his wife,
I mean, she went over the edge. She called Mar Margie a slut she called this guy a crook and Joe Gorgas like oh yeah yeah
I remember that I remember that yeah that hurt me very deep all right that hurt me to the
core that hurt me down to my not okay I just I just There it is. There it is.
So then Joe Gorgas are talking about Gia.
You just transitions right into Gia.
They're like getting all the topics.
Like the producers were like,
hey, can you just sort of like summarize the season so far?
So now they're on to Gia.
I'm just telling everyone about the beef and everything
about how Gia was mad at him.
And frankly, listen, it's family.
You do whatever it takes to make it better.
You do it.
And if that means you got a cheat on your wife
with a bunch of ladies in the Jersey show
and put them on a boat and go up and down and up and down,
you ruin everything, you do that because it's for family.
Do what you got to do for family, all right?
And that's it involves fidelity,
a basic plumbing, a stair railing. No really they can push you the daughters they can push you
So joke orgas like no, I'm trying to do that, but you know, you don't speak to your uncle that way no matter what
Huh, you know, no, I'm saying and then he just then they move on to Louis now
He gives us a gorgas the way you speak to your uncle is the way the guy is going to
speak to your uncle when heaven speaks to your uncle. It's like pointing up on his Instagram.
Good good uncle sayings. So now they're like now they're talking about Louis and everything and
he and Joe Joe Gorkas like so how's Louis doing with the
Sun? Oh fabulous bro fabulous fabulous they they sold a pizza oven
They just sold a pizza oven. They work in the way up to actually selling a house, but it's fabulous bro fabulous
That's the story of pizza oven all right, but yeah, yeah, he's doing he's doing great with him, you know. And he invited us over to his house to have pizzas, you know.
Like, what's that about?
What family meeting?
What are you losers?
You're gonna go to that family meeting?
Yeah, and then Gorgas saying like,
yeah, there's a lot of stuff about him on the internet.
Oh, you mean like, run and do the woods naked
with 10 guys?
Yeah, how about we go on a retreat
and get naked and beat the shit out of each other?
Yeah, that sounds like fun. We lived in it. And Joe not getting it all goes. Yeah,
that's something internet. That's that's on the internet. Yes, Joe. That's what they're
talking about. All right. Go back to nibbling on your slider. And I love how these guys have
been such drama queens about this and change the video because the video's bad enough, right? It's shirtless guys going, oh this, no, I need you back.
Say it with hot bro.
It's already that, but they're making it like these guys are all nude, you know?
Yeah, totally.
Totally naked beating the shit out of each other, rolling around on the beach with the
hairy backs.
Yeah.
They're very scared of it. It's time for commercial. of each other rolling around on the beach with the hairy backs. Yeah.
They're very scared of it.
It's time for commercial.
It's time for a crap and commercial.
So now we go over to Jackie and Evan, um, having a, going to dinner.
Now the kids are all off a camp. They're going to have like some, some me time together.
And, uh, you know, they're like, they're trying to like reallypt themselves up for two weeks without the kids and like telling themselves they're going to have just
like so much fun now.
Yeah, they're doing it in that way like, wow, the kids are gone now. This is so exciting.
Look at us having a date night on the water, which just being and just you too. Oh my god,
there's a waiter. I think I just just wait here to not that I miss the kids
Not that I mean hey, do you remember earlier with Hudson ran through the house going I got a
I mean that was that was so funny. He really likes to poop. Hey hold on a second honey. I got a question for the waiter
How's the crab meat
The waiter's like it's delicious
meat. The way it was like, it's delicious. And you know, Jersey waiter ain't gonna lie. It's imitation. All right. It's shit. It's basically boogers painted white, you know, but I mean,
it's like hand painted white so they can get a little pink at the end. You know, it might
fucking kill you, but we do also have mayonnaise. Okay. Let me tell you something. We just found it
in the back of
the fridge behind some sour cream. It was something that we bought from the inventory sell off of
Little Big Town, you know, and Scott was there and I think it's probably edible. You know what,
we don't even know if it's crab. It is something that's been in the back of the fridge since before
COVID. We found it and we said, you know what we're gonna call this a special.
All right.
We think it's crap.
Well, we're actually calling it a crap like experience,
but it might actually just be some old iceberg lettuce.
We're really not sure.
I'm always afraid the order of the special
because at the restaurant where I worked,
the chef started hunting, like he would go hunting.
And one day he came in with a wild boar,
and I walk in
and it's just this boar being bled out on the table. And there I was like, what the fuck? And he's
like tonight fresh boar wild boar. Don't forget to say wild boar. I don't think that I don't think
the customers want me to tell them you shot this thing and brought it to work. He's like, how the
fuck do you think meat happens, Ronnie? Get the fuck out of my kitchen. Was this that Moroccan restaurant?
Yes, it was at the Moroccan place.
You don't fuck with the Moroccan.
Where did he find a boar in Los Angeles?
I don't know.
I don't know, but he found a boar.
He killed it.
He brought it to work.
Got it the whole thing right there in the kitchen.
I will never forget it.
I was traumatized.
That's true. And then serving it to people, I feel like it's a horror movie.
Because you know, like meets normal, everybody eats meat.
And like it's on every menu.
It's not like it's abnormal to see something like that.
But when you see what they do to it, and you know that it was just
in the back of the catering van for six hours,
like I just felt guilty serving it.
But rich people just love shit like that.
You know, they're like, well, fresh caught wild boar.
And they're like, oh, oh, eat, I'll take it.
I will take it.
And then they're just all eating it.
And I'm like, I think I'm out of just killed this entire room of rich people.
You know, you know, wild boar did attack Shakira a few months ago.
I wish it could have been that one. I wish it could have been that one.
I wish it could have been that one.
That was that's so rude.
Like what sort of homophobic boar attack Shakira?
Because you know, if you attack Shakira, you're homophobic.
I'm going to say that right now.
You know, I usually don't like this excuse for people or animals
when you're having problems with someone and they go,
oh, they're just jealous.
But that was a jealous bore.
That was a jealous bore.
Yeah, that's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
Yeah, that's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
Yeah, that's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
Yeah, that's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
Yeah, that's a jealous bore.
That's a jealous bore.
Yeah, that's a jealous bore. That's a jealous bore. Yeah, that's a jealous bore. Yeah, that's a jealous bore. now because that's all you hear when you go hunting. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Whatever whenever we'll be together. All right.
Look at these tips. Do these tips lie to you? No.
With the bridge up and down the shore with your horse.
The boys.
Up and down the shore with your boy.
Your boy.
You know what? You know why they call you a boy?
Because you bore me boring.
Boy.
Boy.
Okay. We're to ranged. because you bore me, boring, boring, boring.
Okay, we're deranged. So, it also might have been a wild pig,
not a wild boar that attacks you here,
but we'll let the internet solve that one.
So, back to Jackie, speaking of,
back to Jackie.
So, Jackie and Evan are having this little date night
and Jackie is saying like, oh yeah
Remember all the fun that we had before kids remember when we used to go to
Fratt parties and drink beer. She's like really trying hard to convince us that she's just like this crazy party animal
Or she was one in college yet you remember the night we met it was at a really dirty bar and he goes you were
kind enough to show me what your bra looked like I remember that.
Oh, the slutty couple.
My bra strap.
I ran.
Um, and she's like, you know, I just love a good frat party. And I just, I don't think that people in our friend group
really ever had the chance to even walk into a school.
I mean, I really have had no proof
that there's any education among our friends group
at all, much less a frat party.
So I wanted to bring that to them.
I'm all, that's the thing I'm gonna bring
to the frat party chalkboards because
you know addition is important and it's something that they were robbed of is children.
I heard they'd never even watch school of rock. They just don't even get close to anything that says
school on it. They won't even go to an aquarium. You know ever since jerseys had such a problem with
crime and families, people refuse to read books because they're constantly
being thrown at their families.
And you know, I think, Tina, maybe we can squeeze a little education into this frat party.
We'll have a big, big frat party.
And then she goes, oh, and we should have one of those, what's that thing, this, this
shot goes down the thing.
He's like, I sluuge.
Yeah. And then Jackie kind of like, I sluuge. Yeah.
And then Jackie kind of like fist bumps him over dinner.
Like potty animal.
That's what I am.
So then this moves into a serious conversation
about how she's having trouble again
with her eating disorder, her anorexia
and that it's kind of come back to her because
like she was doing so well, but then she had such a rough year with all the rumors on the show
and stuff like that. And it just never ends. And she's like, to be honest, I even made this dinner at
5 p.m. Because I know I wasn't gonna eat because it's too early to eat and I don't eat that early.
Yeah, it was actually a pretty, it was a little bit of a gut wrenching scene because it was it was sad
I mean it's sad to see someone's drug with that
But I appreciated the honesty and I made me happy that she
Had sort of a self-awareness about it where she was saying like honestly like just what you said that she did these things
So she ultimately decided decides that she's gonna go back to therapy and Evan is super supportive and he's super sweet
And he's like if you hurt hurt, I hurt. And I was like, Oh, Evan, so it was nice. It
was nice. And, and, you know, I felt, I felt bad for her. And I, you know, I hope that she
gets better.
Yeah, I do too. Because eating disorders are really hard and they never really go away.
They're like part of your nature. So it's a constant, constant battle. And, you know,
I have my own and I go through
them. But getting to the point where you're like, um, yeah, it's officially an eating disorder.
Because we see on Bravo, especially, especially so often, clear eating disorders. But it's kind
of like alcoholism or something else like that until you say, like, I have a problem and I'm going
to get help with this problem.
Like until you're the one who says it, other people can't label it.
You know what I mean?
Like other people can't tell you, oh, Ronnie, you have a binge eating disorder.
It's like, fuck you.
You have to come to that place yourself.
And so it's nice to see somebody kind of come to that place themselves on one of these
shows instead of just pretending.
It's like, but I like Chanel, and I want to fit into the clothes, you know?
Yeah, it's like a step forward for these shows.
And it's sort of like been kind of sort of lightly talked about on the show.
And I think we've all kind of noticed that there was a whole thing with the, that was like
a veggie chip thing.
I was at last season or two seasons ago where she was like, she's like, I'm just going
to have some veggie chips for breakfast or something like that,
where I think everyone's kind of like,
mm, you know, like something might be going on here.
So it was really good.
I actually was like happy to see it being sort of addressed.
And happy that she's taking action for about it.
Yeah.
And that's the thing, like once people know,
then everything, that's why it's so brave
to kind of come out about it is because when everybody knows, then every little thing is questioned, you know, it's like, oh my
god, she's eating right now.
I'm like, people are literally counting her bites or it's like, oh, she's, it was that
bread she ate, you know, what was it?
It's like people just in our judgmental natures, you start, you're so aware of it.
So I think it makes it even braver to be honest, so like this and actually talk so openly about it. And I noticed when she came to the crappies, you know, like I've said
on this show, whenever I lose weight, you know, and it's up and down my whole life, mostly up these days.
But when I lose weight and you walk in, people act like you were just curative some miraculous
disease. Like, Ronnie, oh my God, I didn't even know you were under there. And they say things that don't,
they don't know you're affecting you because you're like inside, oh my God, nobody even
saw me before, which starts out a whole other stress. And I noticed it with Jackie when she
came to the crappies because every, I mean, Jackie is really beautiful, you know. And she
comes in and just like little mini dress with cutouts in the center.
And every single person was like, holy shit,
you look amazing, your body is stunning.
Like people that didn't know her or whatever.
And it just like puts it on a different level
of thinking like, oh my God, I hope she's okay.
Does this bother her?
Yeah, I mean, that's always, that's the thing.
Yeah, you actually have to be kind of careful
when you sometimes when you give compliments to people because about that, because you actually
don't know what sort of, what sort of things you're actually triggering by doing that,
or what sort of like negative, not negative feedback, but, you know, like you don't want
to be rewarding the wrong thing by accident.
So, but she did look beautiful just in general, regardless.
And I'm just, it was a good scene and I'm happy
that it's being addressed.
And I'm hoping that she also,
I'm hoping that she also impacts
some people who might be going through the same thing
who might be enough to give them a little,
a little knowledge to say,
maybe I should start seeking some help for it.
So.
I think on these shows, when you even bring stuff like that,
that it does cause a conversation.
Because look, I talked about it.
I talked about it last night very openly,
and I can talk about it today,
and talking about it with you,
and with other people has really helped me.
Like it really has.
So I think it's good.
I think it's a good thing overall.
And it's not hilarious,
but sometimes we don't always get how they're listening. So talk about it's good. I think it's a good thing overall. And it's not hilarious, but sometimes we don't
always get how they're supposed to talk about on here.
Gay.
That's right.
Well, that was a lovely little conversation.
So I'm looking forward to seeing how this, by the way,
pans out over the course of the season.
I'm assuming, since they had the scene really early
in the season that we're going to see this,
we're going to follow this journey,
which I'm actually fascinated by.
I think it's, I'm looking forward to it.
So now we start seeing some flashes of things
going on around Jersey.
We see Margaret's doing yoga.
We see Melissa at NV.
There's like a bunch of girls looking at some of the merch
and Melissa's like, oh yeah, oh these little bags
are so cute
I mean, I know you guys aren't wifey's yet, but take your time trust me men are a lot of work
Ah
So God and there's no room to walk. I mean if that were any other store where Amanda was working
It would be sexual harassment. She was just like ride on them like hi
She was just like right on them like, hey, I'm like that. You're like that.
Okay.
Well, I can't because I can only fit one more in storage.
So get it out.
Fuck you, Kim.
And you're a hazel boutique.
I know there's a little teenage Kim
standing across the street just smoking the cigarette
squinting into the window.
Enjoy your store, bitch.
So then we go over to Jackie and she's calling Jennifer up.
And she's like, so what?
So Jennifer, I feel like the last time I saw you
was at the lures, are you okay?
She's like, yeah, yeah, I'm okay.
It was just very overwhelming fun.
Now, I mean, Jennifer is milking this.
Okay, I know there have been a lot of people
who have been on Jennifer's side,
who feel like it wasn't Margaret's place to out that,
you know, Jennifer wants to keep it private,
and that's fine.
But that also happened like two or three weeks ago,
and Jennifer is still acting like it happened last night.
I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha.
And I like that they keep putting in the clips
that Jennifer was an asshole.
They have to remind you, because again, this was just bad timing.
You know, you need to wait for Jennifer to really fuck up and call you a slut.
And that's when you bring it out.
So they basically put Jennifer in a really good situation this season as far as victimhood,
which you know, the biggest victim wins.
It's real housewives.
So she's really playing it up like you said.
Like, I myself, you know, I almost didn't answer the space time, but then I remembered if I did
I get to see my face baby
So she answered it and Jack is like yeah, I just wanted to make sure that you're okay, you know after after
Margaret mentioned to everybody that your husband has been cheating while you were nine months pregnant with your office manager.
Okay. Okay. I got it. I got it.
She's really hard probably on the Xerox machine as well, but you know,
makes people feel for Xerox machines as well, but
No, it's okay, baby. We don't have to talk about it.
Blow jobs probably were involved. You know, that's what was talked about. So I want to make sure you're okay as a mother. As a mother. And then she's, Jackie's are talking about
Dolores and she says, you know what, to be honest with you, I don't think that Dolores is being
the friend that you need right now because I cried my, my fair share last, last year. And guess what?
I don't think crying is a weakness because we see a clip of last week when Jennifer is crying at the alligator
for Kaccia party and Dolores like stop crying already.
Kama, ba, ba, ba, crap, dog's not a weakness, mama.
Yeah.
And Jackie is first of all huge mistake coming up against Dolores with this with Jen who
you know Jen's not going to have this girl's back for even five minutes. But also that fight was because of you.
She was standing up for you, Jackie, which Jackie doesn't know yet.
But basically that was because Jen, Marge told Dolores, don't feel bad for her.
I mean, she was actually calling her auntie Teneflie trying to get proof.
She was calling Frank trying to get pictures of the woman that Evan hadn't affair with.
Right.
So Jackie doesn't really know all of the specifics of that.
So she's just sticking up for the wrong person.
Yeah, exactly.
So Jackie invites her to the keger.
And she's hoping that this keger is gonna bring everyone
together and everything.
And she's gonna invite Margaret and Dolores and Melissa and Tracy
Not Teresa because she's out of town for a dance tournament and Jennifer just starts to cry
She's like if Teresa's not gonna be there and Dolores isn't my friend. I can't expect the backup from you
So I don't know if I can go in there. I'm like, okay settle down. It's a keg bar it's keg bar eat, okay? It's like walking into the line, Dan baby.
I mean, what am I supposed to do in there?
Chuck is like, come on, you have me at least on the mother side.
I mean, if anybody says anything about mother, mother, this, I'm gonna say,
Jen, what a good mother because I'm with you as a mother.
Now, if they come after you as a friend, I'm gonna just have to stand back.
Because I'm really only here to stand up for you on the mother part.
And Jackie's like, she's like, now listen, I know we've had our shit in the past and then
we see a flashback of Jackie just yelling at Jen for, you know, looking into the rumors
about Evan and then we come back to the present and Jennifer's like, no I know, listen, I'm
sorry, I did,, I'm sorry. I did it. It was pure curiosity. It was curiosity, Mr
I didn't mean nothing, but it was curiosity. I swear, I swear. I mean all that stuff with
Evan going to the gym and seeing the horse and getting a little bit of an angle. I mean, baby
I never want to talk about it again. Curiosity never killed nothing, did it? Curiosity killed the cat.
Yeah, like the cat is dead.
Okay, there's a cat dead from Curiosity.
Yeah, so then we go over to Louis house
for the pizza party and Louis is beat red.
Like he is red turning purple.
He is so uncomfortable on camera.
He's like nervous.
He's clearly behind the schedule that he wanted to be
because you know, he probably had a vision in his mind
of like what this scene would look like
and everything's falling apart and he's like,
oh, he's like veins are popping everywhere.
He and his brother David are in the kitchen,
slicing eggplant and just like sweat in
and just like their blood pressure
is just going through the roof.
Yeah, there's like a mantle and sliced eggplant just flying around the kitchen.
But this is also Louis' chance to be like spiritual Louis,
where he's gonna be everybody's spiritual guide, you know?
So it's really funny that he's already purple,
and roiding, and freaking out, right?
So Teresa comes over with Gabriela,
the girl who gives the least of a shit on this entire show.
Gabriela just walks in like, wow, a fucking kitchen.
They're gonna try to make me talk and I'm not gonna say anything.
So Teresa starts making this like red sauce and everything and she starts talking and Louie's like,
you know, there's a lot of meaning for about today. It sets a new intention for the future.
And Trees just like, uh-huh.
It's just no one who's talking about.
Yeah, it was great because, you know,
people say intentions and then they got to talk
about the feelings and Trees just,
ah, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
not talking about feelings on me,
probably a gathering all I don't like that. She don't like talking about feelings, I'm calling.
Gabriella is just staring.
She's like, I know you're trying to bait me into saying I do like talk about my feelings,
but I'm not going to say anything.
And Louis says, but feelings, they're good.
And she goes goes now.
And so Teresa tells us that she really loves Louis because he's like not afraid to show his true feelings. He journals every day.
He does positive affirmations and he's all about communicating and not holding things inside.
And you know, she, she, Lui, we know is that Teresa's like very nervous about this evening because
Melania did agree to come after all, but then she still has a beef with Uncle Joe.
So Lui, like so Teresa's a little bit on edge.
Well honey, you know, you've been asking for pizza from an old troll for a long time and
now I got one making you some.
You got a time come all right. So
good. I am the old troll. Your your intent was set and you made it. Congratulations. You're
eating a secret pizza. I decided to stop avoiding the noise and get engaged to it instead.
He collects rains. I still think he's so purple.
He looks like Thanos out of here.
Out of here.
He really does.
I mean, he really, he is like something is wrong with Louis.
Like he needs medical attention.
He just wants the rings.
I ring.
Um, so, uh, so Teresa, Teresa is telling us that he's going to introduce us to the family to self-help techniques,
which is hilarious,
because this is not a family that wants to help itself.
And everyone starts to show up.
So the gorillas come over with all the kids
and as 10 minutes of like,
oh hi, how's it going?
What, hi, hi.
Hey, look, here we go.
What, what, what, what, what, what, what, come over hereah. You look good, Muah. Muah, muah.
Muah, muah, come over here.
Muah, look at that plant.
Muah, muah, muah.
Look at that plant.
Muah, is that a plant, Muah, muah?
I've seen so many of Muah.
Look at my Muah, muah, muah.
And little, little Melania is grown up now.
So she's doing the older cousin thing
where she's like,
come on, cousin, look at your hair. What is that I'm getting a little poof of hair? Come on.
So, um, so they're just, Melissa's talking about Jackie. And so they're making like
little small talk. They're like, Melissa and Tree or talking and Melissa's like, how are the kids and trees like, well, Melania is actually about six
packs a day now, but you know, the other one, she's dancing. And you know, I always got
to go out of town for this dance stuff. And Melissa's like, yeah, it's just so crazy
these kids with this dance. I mean, used to be, you could just go practice at a fire station
and learn everything you need to know. I mean, you could just go practice at a fire station and learn
everything you need to know. I mean, now you gotta get a holiday in, Brent, so you gotta
travel. Or at least you gotta go to Salt Lake City to Whitney's house. I mean, God, it's
just so involved.
Thing, thing. Hi, this is Whitney. You might have met me at a Brava Clubhouse siting. Please
don't forget you were invited to come to my living room to play a little scrabble
I mean pole dance. Thank you. My number is
J.U. and K in my trunk
So
So Melissa is like not they're talking about Jack and everything and, and, and, uh,
Teresa, of course, is still trying to make herself the victim out of all this.
She's like, yeah, I'm good with Jackie, but like, I feel like everybody had Jackie's back when I said
something, but now that Margaret said something, like no one has Jen's back and like Margaret
crossed the line and like, I don't know how you don't see none of that.
And Theresa's logic.
I mean, Theresa's logic.
And just as we're getting a nice taste of Theresa's completely nonsensical logic, we see
that the pizza coming out of the oven is completely black.
I knew that fucking Louie, you know, you never trust people who are like, guys today, we can talk about intentions. Okay, they're going to rage on you. They're
going to steal your drugs out of your bathroom closet and they're not going to be able to
make a proper pizza. No, they definitely will not be able to. I don't trust anyone who
says they're going to, they're going to like, I just, I feel like new age spirituality
does not work well with pizza making. It just doesn't. It doesn't.
I think spirituality is like a personal thing. Like if you're going to work on that and set your
intentions, that's great. But if you're announcing to a party that you're setting your intentions,
not so great. Okay. That's like performative spirituality. I don't like it. Do that in your room
if you want me to believe it. Also, you know what, if you're going to set your intentions,
also set a timer. Okay, because that pizza burns to a crisp.
Also set the temperature lower because you're purple.
How about set a time to take some pizza-making glasses?
How about waste gluten?
How about that?
How about set an intention to make a good pizza?
I don't think gluten-wasters are positive people.
There I said it, you're all going to hell.
My Mima thinks gay people and sinners are going to hell.
I think it's going to be all the people
who have wasted gluten.
So Louis starts speaking in psycho-babel.
He's like, you know what?
I appreciate everyone for coming.
Sometimes I think it's good when families collide
or my arteries and my veins, that's why I'm purple.
So because when you collide, it's going to create repair because everyone knows that collision leads
to repair unless you total something out and then just get scrapped, which could I guess
could also happen. You know what I love when cars crash because you get to take them to
get fixed again and then guess what happens? The value goes down, okay. So, you know,
it's a positive thing. I'm like, what are you doing?
Colliding is not good for everybody.
Colliding is not good for everybody.
No one has to get to the point where you collide to the point that you have to get to
repair.
I mean, stars, you look up and stars are very beautiful in the sky.
That was like a world war that happened up there where they started bumping into each
other.
They broke apart, they never came back again together.
Let's leave colliding out of self-help talk.
Yeah, you ever see football, okay?
You know what happens when you get like a debilitating injury,
you're never the same again, okay?
So, sorry, anyway, so Louis is like,
you know, I did something tonight,
I wanna do something tonight that we do with my family,
okay, I mean, give everybody two sheets of paper, okay?
And on one sheet, write what you want to bring into your life
and then the other sheet, write one thing you want to let go of.
And I just felt like Jackie was just gonna come
like parachuting into the scene,
be like, no, don't forget, these people
are not very comfortable with pen and paper.
Okay, like they're just saying they never went to a frat party.
Okay.
Part of Teresa's parole was not being around shop objects.
You might want to bring some crayons for the next time.
Do you have a thing to paint instead?
Yeah.
So Louis, uh, Joe goes, uh, all right, then Louis can talk.
This is game.
All right, Louis, you do it.
You do it.
So he's like, all right, I want to let go of my fears.
Okay, Louis, we've
all seen your video. Okay, everyone else is scared of you. Okay, your goal should be
stop being fearful. Okay, you are the fear, Louis. I know, like Thanos is the bad guy.
What? I like collecting rings. You know what the, You know what's a very, very positive symbol in self-help?
The infinity symbol.
Were those rings because I stopped watching Marvel movies after Age of Ultron, which we saw
it together actually.
I thought there were little balls he was connecting collecting.
There were rings.
There were little jewels to, like, there were little balls that go into his hands thing.
Like, yeah, there's infinity stones. Yeah.
Von me basically ring, ring stones.
He likes, he wants to be a bit as old.
He wants a good, like, jewelry moment.
Yeah, he was really into pop, population control.
That was his thing.
I feel like that's what positive people are to they're like, oh my god
This is gonna be such a beautiful world. Unfortunately, it's unpopulated. I was like, wait a minute
Are you like praying in yoga for half of us to die? Like what the hell this isn't positive
So so Joe Gorgherka is hearing Louie going on is like what the hell you talking about listen
I'm Italian.
You know, we talk like, whoa, what's your problem?
That's how we talk about things.
I'm like, yeah, and look where it's gotten you
with your family.
Oh, look at the progress you guys have made.
Yeah, it's like, I want to let go of my fears.
And Joe's just like, take off your shirt, take it off.
And he's like, but traumatic experiences got me guarded.
You know, I've been sitting in the past.
I've been not living my life.
And you know where I want to fall?
I want to fall forward.
And so it's like, what the fuck is this guy talking about?
All right?
You know, we say you got a fucking problem,
fix your fucking problem, all right?
Then we get in a circle, we jerk each other off and we hug it out. That's it.
Where'd this guy go to school?
You know what? When things get really bad, you spray some hair on to go ahead and you wrestle
a guy until that ink comes off onto a wall. So Teresa's like,
Teresa's like, that's time for Teresa to do this exercise. She's like, the thing that she wants to welcome more into her life is loyalty.
And then most of us, you want to be more loyal to it?
No, I am loyal.
I am.
She's like mad that she accused herself of being not loyal enough.
Trees self-help is what she wants from everybody else, which is just so fucking tree.
By the way, did we already mention that they were like, you everybody else, which is just so fucking tree.
By the way, did we already mention that they were like, you know what?
Let's not write this down.
That's too hard.
Let's just talk about it.
And Melissa goes, yeah, we're not that deep.
No, I didn't mention that.
That's my favorite part.
So now they're just talking about it.
So Melissa's trying to be nice to turn you stuff because everybody knows that was a terrible fucking self-ashance. Right?
So Melissa's like, you know, I know why you feel that way because many people have broken the trust in your life, you know, and I get that and
She's like, yeah, cuz I just want love and then you know, what's the second thing?
There was something else I was gonna say today and Louis goes judgment. She goes, no, no, I don't got that.
I don't got that.
They're like, what do you want to like go up?
And she doesn't know what to say.
And he's like, what about judgment?
She's like, no, no, no, no, I don't, I don't, I don't got no judgment.
That's not a problem for me.
I don't have any problems.
She literally is like refusing to write down the second thing on the virtual pad.
Yeah.
And Melissa says, Louie wants to restate to admit her fobs.
We're going to be here all night long. So then Melissa goes. And Melissa says, Louie wants Teresa to admit her fob.
We're going to be here all night long.
So then Melissa goes next and she says, okay, what I think I'd like is, you know, we
should spend more time together as a family.
I think that would be great.
And she goes, yeah, that's when you shouldn't have been the one finding me to your party.
Just gil guilty her already.
Because they don't wanna hang out with Teresa.
Melissa definitely doesn't want to.
So Gorgas is like, yeah, you know what?
This is what we're talking about.
We shouldn't expect, don't expect the phone call.
You all live a crazy lives.
Family should not hold grudges.
Stop expecting, stop expecting
the bare minimum out of me.
Cause I'm never gonna deliver.
Yeah, and it sounds like he's trying to say, we're family, all right?
We love each other no matter when we see each other.
But he's in trouble for being shitty to the kids and then just never calling them.
Like totally ghosting him.
So his self-help is, hey, don't expect the phone call.
Don't expect nothing from me.
Yeah. Wow. We're doing real well as a family, guys.
Theresa and Joe just knocking it out of the park today.
Yeah. I need you to basically like, listen,
I should be able to say whatever I want.
And then five minutes later, she'll go away because we're family.
So Melania, this pisses off Melania because Melania is like,
wait a second, I'm so mad about this because Gia made me mad.
Right. She's like, I mean, I got a lot of things
I could save right now.
Don, don, don, don.
So she starts, she basically is saying about the Joe.
She's like, you know what?
I never seen someone scream like that at someone before
and I can't watch that.
Like someone I wanna go of it, like over,
like I'm always thinking like what's gonna happen next?
What's gonna happen?
Am I gonna fall into a salad again?
Like when I was four years old, what's gonna happen?
I woke up in the morning,
I was thinking so many things, you know?
I just want things to get better, okay?
And she just pops up like cam.com.
Kim.com.
Kim.com.
So basically the whole thing of Melania is that she just is understandably.
She is, I think she's conflict averse because her family is always fighting and there's always
so much chaos happening and people wind up going to jail and leaving her life.
And she just wants things to be smooth.
And when there's like fighting, she just can't deal with it anymore.
Yeah. And she's like, and what I want to accomplish is nothing happening next. I just
wanted to be a Melissa goes solid. She's like pizza. I was going to say, but all right,
pizza non-burned pizza. So then Joe Goringa goes, you know what? Tonight, for the first time I understand, I've been hanging on to this
anger because of my niece's father and now I understand why she's
mad. Like, you just under you just figured out you've been hanging on to
anger after 12 years, sir.
I'm one of the reasons she lives inside that fear. You know,
sometimes you look at the window and you get scared about what's out there
But then you see a Christine Lottie movie and you realize that sometimes the fear is inside
I'm pointing up right now. Grunt what goa gone Instagram point up in the air
So
They kind of all just are like they have one of those like artificial bows that they put on like, you know what?
This family's been through a lot. We can fight, but we can love also. Thanks, Louis.
Thanks, Louis, for letting us get to this place where we can see those sort of things and make it feel like everything's fine,
but really we just want to get into the pizza.
And Louis is like, wait a minute, Jojo, I thought they should try to write something there.
So she showed me what it is
Jo she's showing me what it is
It's a dick. It's a dick. I can't I can't right now that was hot that was that was
I'll give it to you. There it is
So now everyone's getting ready for the big keg party a Jackie's getting dressed Margaret is
She's she's like, you know, I think I'm gonna put on a body suit, okay?
And Lexi is like, oh,
yeah body suit, that's very sexy for a dog ball. You know, do they have a wet t-shirt contest
here? New Jersey? And Marzia is like, you know, what the problem, the problem with wet t-shirt
contest, with the script, is that they've all got implants. All right, and I got my boobs lifted.
Okay, so they've got like implants, and I've got like nice 70s boobs lifted. Okay, so they've got like implants and I've got like nice
Seventies boobs, you know, so they can feel like a wet T-shirt contest and I could do dry T-shirt content
I mean it's anybody writing this down because that was for you. That was for you
Some dry T-shirt contest content for you ginger. It was great. Then we go over to Dolores house where you just hear Frank
Oh, Dolores, Dolores.ores! Just, I'm upstairs.
I'm upstairs. Be careful. There's still no railing. You may have noticed from what you did not do.
He just hear Frank fall down the stairs.
Danny!
Boom, boom, boom.
There goes the knees again.
Wow, he tried to make it up the comma stairs. That was fun.
So he's like, whoa, you look like I picked you up just to get shit faced.
Now, though, that's what you dress like.
It's a framp on in Frank.
We're going to a dive bar.
So Melissa, of course, is going to wear an envy shirt to the framp party.
But she just uses her scene to tell us all that she's going to be having a better party
next week. That's basically
Melissa's thing. That's what it is. So then Jen calls Bill from home and you hear click. You've reached
Bill. If you'd like to talk to me, I'm right here. So speak after the tone.
You know how to speak don't you just put your lips together and blow
I
Just just out my outfit
Have you feel about going to the party bell?
How do you feel about it?
Because I feel like Daniel walking into a dinner rooms and I don't even read the bible
And
And he's like hmm. He's like well he's like, well, how am I?
How are you feeling?
How am I feeling? I don't know.
And she goes, well, I'm just feeling reluctant.
But hopefully you haven't even found my father.
Give me the strength I need to not break down, baby.
That's how I feel about the support of Sliders.
I hope they're having sliders.
And then we go over to Tracy, her first appearance in the episode, who's sitting on a bed while Tiki Barber is just ironing something and he has full David Bedore energy. I feel like if you have
a husband and he is using a prop in a scene while you're trying to talk to him and he's just
looking at the prop, your marriage is in trouble because he's just that iron is just going back and
forth while Tracy's talking, he's like, he is not listening.
I don't believe one second that this man iron shit.
They're like, you have to stand to your trace.
He's like, well, I'm watching TV like Tracy stand up and hold something.
He's like, I'm sorry, he's like ironing a shirt
with, you know, a phone.
That's a shoe. He's just he's dragging his shoe back and forth over his shirt. So he's
getting his taste of the husband and wife talking before they go out to the party thing.
So Tracy's like, listen, I don't agree with the thing Jen has done, but you know, so far
she's left two parties and tears and I feel for her.
I'm like, that's being on Real House, wasn't her Jersey.
Someone leads in tears every episode, Tracy.
That's part of the gig.
And she says, I know firsthand how rumors can affect you.
Tracy, you cannot brand wash, wash all of us into thinking that these facts
are just rumors that people made up.
Okay, a baby popped out.
A baby popped out.
So Tracy tells Tiki,
you know, I just think it's,
it has to be hard having someone,
you know, like having something that she thought
was gonna be private,
just put out there in public and he's like,
oh, he's like, I got you on the show so you stop talking to me. Why am I in the scene?
Well, when Tiki and I first got together and these lies were being spread about Tiki having
an affair with me, Tiki was depressed. How were they lies about the affair. He left his family for you. How? Just, look, I'm promising to screen less in these
at people when I get so frustrated
because it really doesn't none of us any good.
But is anybody buying this?
No, well, I think it's just hilarious
that she's trying to like, you know, repair her image,
you know, be like, I've gone through so much.
The thing is this, Tracy, no one,
like, as scandals go, this was like a, this was a scandal that happened. It was a small one.
It happened years ago. No one really still cares. Like, she keeps on kind of like bringing,
she keeps centering herself in this in the world of scandal. Like, no one really, I think ultimately
people don't care. And the fact that she keeps talking about it now actually has me more angry.
I've, you know, I think if she just was like, you know what, it was an unfortunate situation,
but we'd loved each other and you know, love is love.
You'd be like, well, you can't argue with that.
But the fact that she keeps trying to be like, I know what it's like when rumors devastate
you.
I'm like, no, you were not elevated enough in pop culture for you to be devastating.
You were not up enough to be brought down. Yeah, she's kind of daring everybody else to bring in and put it in her face, right?
Because nobody else is really saying anything about it. It's Jersey, you know, it's New Jersey.
It's like, I don't think anybody has a husband who hasn't banged somebody. Yeah. And again,
and the more she talks about how her life has been just like how she's been so hurt by rumors,
is actually more that
she's just elevating herself or trying to elevate herself. It's like, it's like we talked
about some show this week. I had my brain as dead. We talked about some show where I was
like, oh, this person, the more this person talks about it, the more they're just elevating
them, trying to elevate like their proximity to something.
But that's what they do. That's what they do on these shows and it always makes me crazy because I'm like, surely no one is dumb enough to be buying this ladies. Like poor, say
we're just rumors, we didn't do anything wrong. And she says them every single week and
I keep thinking, why would she do that? But then I start reading comments and there are
a lot of comments that are like, poor Tracy, she's had to go through the same thing. And I'm
like, you people press the Google, okay?
It's the top bar of all of our phones.
And Tracy goes, I just think that we should have empathy
for her as a woman and as a mother.
And I'm like, well, I hope you are expressing
that sentiment to Tiki's ex.
And I'm really mad that our audio was lost from last night
because when I mentioned, when I made that same point
last night, I got a full on Sally Jessie Refuel reaction
from the audience that I was not expecting.
And I was like, I have peaked.
I have now resigning from podcasting.
You definitely got like Wendy Williams.
Like, everyone was like,
Woo!
They were like all nodding their head.
I was nodding, I thought I was just making
a little like sassy comment.
I was like, well, she should be thinking about the wife when she says that. And everyone was like, yeah! I was like, ooh, I was not I thought I was just making a little like sassy comment. I was like, well, she should she should be thinking about the wife
When she says that and everyone was like, yeah, I was like, I was like literally on cloud nine after that moment
Everything else is a blow. So I get a gold again, and it was headline Tracy posted his tiki's babysitter
I like that the editors are not just pretending, you know, they're like, wow, I think you guys are buying it
Let's put it in even worse headline
I think you guys are buying it. Let's put it in even worse headline.
She was posing as the babysitter before she.
Before she was posing.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
That's one of the headlines that they put up on the screen
that she was an intern there,
but then she started posing as their babysitter
while she was banging the ladies husbands.
Oh, geez.
Well, I just think, I think just in general, the fact that he was in a
relationship and that he started a new relationship with an intern at the office is not, is just not
great. And whether or not they say that they was broken up and they didn't know that she was pregnant
at the time, regardless, I think it's tacky. You know, and just Housewives gameplay here.
Housewives gameplay segment.
You know, like we've talked about Marge's gameplay being off this whole season because
she blew her wad with her, you know, Jen information too early.
You know, Marge, one of the best things that Marge ever did for herself, was to come on
the show and say, listen, here's what happened.
I was in an unhappy marriage.
I cheated with the Hanse band.
Left my husband now, I married to the Hanse band.
People judged me, I don't give a shit.
That was the best thing she could have done.
She took all of everybody's.
I don't know.
And what Tracy is trying to do is come in and kind of do that.
She's like, I'm gonna put it all out there too,
except it's gonna be not true.
I'm gonna have the lady from Scandal fix it
and give me a sellable story.
And then I'm just gonna say it every single week
until people believe it.
And so, yeah.
And I think that Tiki sees this,
which is why he's just ironing there quietly,
like, oh my God, my wife is just,
she's just bringing it all back.
She's resurrecting all this chaos.
Yeah, because if she had come out and said, like if she used the play, you know, I had a
various gandalous start with my husband to I was very young. He wasn't an unhappy
marriage. We had an affair. And then surprisingly, we fell in love. Like I know it's not the
greatest thing, but it's what happened. And we're still together after all of these years,
you know, if she had said something like that, and they're so cool. Marike Laterno or something like that,
be like, I can't help it, I love them.
Yeah, something I was drinking.
I heard the gulp.
I was like, I heard the gulp,
I don't know if that's the gulp of a beverage
or a Ronnie being like,
how do I yes and a Mary Kay Laterno?
No, but when I hear Mary Kay Laterno,
I just assume someone's gonna have a monologue.
Cause wow, that's a story.
Well, that we're not talking about.
That we're not talking about.
So let's go to the dive bar.
Let's just go to the dive bar.
Let's, so it's time for the keg party
and they arrive at this dive bar
and I was, I was offended.
And I was like, this is exactly the sort of keg party.
I would expect you to do. And I was offended by it because this was not a
Diabar. Okay, this was a place that had like glossy surfaces, glass railings, everything was like it was just like a bougie restaurant, you know, and they go upstairs to this lofted
So upstairs to this lofted event space that's just empty that has like neon highlights or nice lighting and centerpieces.
It was not a dive bar by any stretch of the imagination.
This is a place that would have those outdoor heating lamps that are shaped like a very tall
pyramid with the flames in the inside.
If you have that, you were not a dive bar.
If you have any sort of lamps, you're not a dive bar.
Okay.
And this place was not a die bar. If you have any sort of lamps, you're not a die bar. Okay. And this place was not a die bar. New Kim from the boutique. It's like standing there
with a violin. Like, I love her attempt to play classical music at the, at the faux dot bar.
She's just everywhere now.
So Marne just like listen, okay, listen, I'm not, you know,
I heard anybody, okay, you know what, I just want you
into own her behavior and then, you know, I want her to
see that she's had a debuffs, a standard, you know, and then
you know, I have to deal with her, you know, I wanted to see that she's had a double a standard, you know, and then you know, I have to deal with her
You know, I mean she's gonna be a star, I'm gonna say you know, but we can't be friends. Okay. I just wanted to be done
Okay, so that's my that's my mod lot. Do you think I'm ready to do it? Oh my god, you're gonna be self amazing
And this model
So back at the dive bar Jackie
So back at the dive bar, Jackie, Mark shows up and Jackie's like, oh my God, we're gonna have so much fun tonight.
We're gonna have a cake, a ping pong beer style.
We have lobster rolls, we have lots of apps, we have coconut fried shrimp, we have some
asparagus with some brazue, though.
There will be a caviar tasting at some point
There's an ice-pop sled you oh you can dance on the bar because it's a rager. So dance in the bar
It's like it's like I don't think Jackie has ever been to a cake party. I'm just gonna say it right now
What are those what is that rack of white outfits over there? Oh, those are for wet, wet fencing contests.
We're gonna have later.
The wet fencing contest.
It's gonna be great.
Do you need to use the coat check?
Cause this diaper has a coat check if you need one.
Just be sure to tip the bathroom attendance.
So Joe enters just like you think.
He sees Tiki there and he goes, my man!
Wow, he's like, Tiki's celebrity, he graduates from there, he is such a
my man.
Yeah. So Jackie's like, wow, look at this.
This party, the keg is my version of his centerpiece.
March Good Flowers, I get a keg.
Yeah, and that's literally all it is.
It's truly just a centerpiece because no one drinks from the keg.
Everyone, like, anyone who's drinking beer is drinking out of a bottle.
And most of the people are ordering mixed drinks from the bartender.
That is not a keg party.
I'm sorry, a keg party.
You have red solo cups and you got a keg and you drink out of the keg.
That's a keg party.
Kegs are gross.
So the guys are over talking, I'm like some cells,
and they're like, Evan, hey, Geppet, what you been up to?
He's like, you know, just working out a lot at the gym.
Oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, buddy. Okay, from now on, you're hiking and doing pull-ups at home.
And Gorka goes, eh, getting any more head, eh,
and he goes, well, I'm doing a lot of yoga now,
so I'm getting close to doing it myself.
Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, yes.
So Dolores comes in andLores is the great announcer.
So she comes in and she's like, oh hi everyone.
Listen, I'm gonna put my purse and my jacket right here.
All right, I'm gonna be putting my purse and my jacket
to right here on the booth.
All right, everybody hear that?
Do I need to make an announcement?
I should write that down somewhere.
Purse bag booth.
All right, go hide.
I'm gonna put my jacket on my purse.
Okay, I'm putting my jacket on my bag.
If anyone wants to know, she
definitely narrates all the things in her life.
Anyone? Okay, I'm putting my shoes over there.
If anyone wants, I'm putting my shoes over there.
Okay, if anyone want to lopserole this lopserole,
I'm gonna get a lopserole.
All right, just put down the bag, the purse.
I'm gonna walk over here to see what's on this book bar.
All right, anybody need me?
Okay. Oh, look, Frank's here. Oh, sorry, that's the keg. All right, anybody need me? Okay.
Oh, look, Frank's here.
Oh, sorry, that's the keg.
Oh, there's real Frank.
Okay, Frank's here.
Frank, I got my jacket on my purse over there.
So Benino comes up and hugs her from behind.
He's like, God, I love you.
I'm just like, isn't that cute?
And Joe just wants to marry her if I die.
That's it.
You know, I walked in when he was putting up the wallpaper.
I said, this isn't legal wallpaper glue. Okay.
The stuff was out in the 70s. You know, it could suffocate a person to wait a minute.
Are you trying to count me? So you can be with the lawyers.
Yeah, the day I told Joe, can you just make me some ice coffee?
He comes like, he's glassful of arsenic. Thank God, I know what arsenic smells like.
Okay. Because we try to use the cell arsenic with the Macbeth collection.
So I smell the Joe. Why do you make this ice coffee with arsenic? Wait a second. You trying to kill music and marry Dolores
Listen Joe, I know you think you love Dolores, but guess who's not buying you a different sea foam green college
Should every year Dolores, okay?
The other day I walked into the house and guess what I almost stepped in the middle of a booby trap in the,
which is a full bear trap in the FOIA.
Thank God I was looking down at the floats.
Looked to see if they were done yet.
They, of course, they weren't done yet.
I would have died in that bear trap.
I remember to come my hair.
The other day, my hair was made out of rake
with dinner knives taped to every pline.
So I was like, Joe, come on, Joe.
What am I supposed to stab myself in the head for was like, Joe, come on, Joe. What am I supposed to stab
myself in the head for you? For you and to Laura's come on, Joe? I'm onto you, Joe.
Yeah, the night I came back home and I saw there was a 10 people padding in our living room.
I could see all their silhouettes dancing around. I was like, you know, I'll come back later,
Joe has his friends over. But then the next day I come over, I walk up the staircase
and a pink can come swing at my head.
Thank God I bent down to my eyelash and fallen off.
I woke up the other night and I felt, you know, a little pressure and I felt maybe I need an aspect.
I realized Joe just had a pillow on my face. I said, Joe, you know what, you're getting less and less subtle.
Okay. Can you at least bring the romance back into this Joe, all right?
Can you at least bring the romance back into this Joe all right?
So Dolores is like arm the whole pass
Just be careful because my hold does not have railings yet
So uh joke war guys like you know why my life my
Well, you know why my life my Well, you know why Ronnie that is what you said though you that you quoted him correctly
Don't worry you know why my wife looks so good, right?
Because I think
Do you know my husband brags bad is peeing all the time and honestly it really is sexy and markets like oh, yeah
Well, you know, I heard that
from a few other people.
Whoa, whoa.
Whoa, that bullet just went right,
that bullet just went flying right over my shoulder.
Joe, Joe, you gotta put the gun down, okay?
Ugh, Somalissa's joking shit.
Oh my God, he told you that.
She says, Dolores, Dolores told me,
and she goes, Dolores, did you have sex with my husband?
I mean, I know that you've known each other for a long time you both grew up in Patterson used to cross the same pads with
Gelatis
Which is you know that that's how you know your your hide sex with someone because if you're in the same crosswalk with
Gelatis that's you know that means sex I will fuck you if you're in the same crosswalk with jolates, that's, you know, that means sex.
I will fuck you if you were crossing the same path as me with the jolati.
That's it.
I don't have very many sure, sureties in my life, but that is one of them.
If we are crossing, we both hold jolates and we're in the same path, Loubup.
Fuck, fuck, fuck time.
So. Fuck fuck fuck time. So So
So
Delores like never I never had sex with Joe Gorgah and then Joe starts talking about how his deck and he's like hey
I played cat I played in college with six foot five football players and I come out walking the showers and I get high five like
BAM
Which is like I really, I appreciate the visual personally.
Yeah, you got two short legs, but at least you got a third.
Am I right?
My man.
My man.
So Melissa's asking if Jack invited Jennifer and Jack,
he's like, well, you know what, she's really,
she's on the fence.
She's just like, really, she's really, really right now.
And Margaret's like, well, you know what, if she had an ounce of emotional
intelligence, she would come in here and she would say, you know what, Margaret, I'm sorry.
We're just hilarious. And Jackie's like, oh, I've got news to you. She's not apologizing
to you. That's not going to happen. Okay. Yeah. So well, if she's going to come and cry
and then she shouldn't even come in here after. I mean, look at this. It's a keg, it's a keg party and the divest of
dipods, like what's she even doing here? And Mount Tracy, who has learned to convey
a motion through tilting her head, tilts her head and goes, she's allowed to cry. If
you feel things, you're allowed to cry. Just, I mean, what, okay, then is there going
to be a time limit on crying? I mean, you're 44
years old. Like, how long do you get to cry? How long? She's like, there's no time limit on crying.
I thought, well, that's good because Tiki's ex is probably over there still sobbing somewhere.
Yeah, and also like, your time's coming, Tracy. So So Margaret's like, well, you know what,
this is a new information.
It didn't shock her.
Okay, she was, well, I think you did shock her
because I don't think she expected someone
to throw it in her face.
I mean, you have to be kind.
It's like Tracy, you just wait until Jennifer throws
all your cheeky barbershit into your face.
And I'm sure you will not be saying
the same things for Jennifer.
And Tracy really is trying out new stuff.
We've got the head tilt, and now when she's kind of mad,
she sucks in her cheeks really deep
and kind of crosses her eyes.
So we know Tracy's alive.
I mean, Tracy's making enough of her, this is my point.
And she tells us, you know, Marge has such a blind rage
that she's refusing to see Jennifer is broken
and crumbling in front of her eyes.
Yeah, and you know what happens
when things are broken and crumbling right in front of
your eyes?
Drive away.
That's what I say.
I'm not pulling out tape for every building.
Okay.
Yeah.
Not my problem.
I'm moving to the next parking space.
So, um, so anyway, so, so basically Margaret is like, okay, all right, Tracy, Miss
Mother Teresa.
All right, it talked to me in another month and then, then tell me how you feel about Jennifer, which is true because she just knows, like, okay, alright Tracy miss met the two. So all right, it talked to me in another month and then then tell me how you feel about Jennifer,
which is true because she just knows like just give Jen enough time and Tracy will definitely be changing her tune.
So speaking of which Jennifer and Bill are walking into the restaurant and while they're walking Jackie is
she's doing again this performative defense of Jennifer. She's like, I just I don't want it to be kicked when she's down
I just I really I just I feel so bad for her which is
She's just all she is doing is she just wants to
Get on the record that she was a good French Jennifer when Jen eventually betrays her which will happen like actually literally this episode
Yeah, and Marge is like yeah yeah, I don't wanna kick him
and she's down either.
Bring him over here, standing up.
I'll kick him then.
All right, I'll kick his standing.
Okay.
So they said Jennifer and Bill enter and she's like,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah.
Yeah, she's like gotta veil over her face.
Like ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Marge's like, oh my god, look at her over there. Like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
mind just like, oh my god, look at her over there.
Yeah, okay, listen everybody, it was one day,
one day I said something, okay.
On me, it was a pretty big thing, you said.
I don't think, I don't think the calendar matters,
but Jackie's like, look, I don't want her
to keep ending up leaving in tears, okay?
That's the important thing.
I need somebody to take some of this food home.
We've paid a lot of money for these sliders.
You know, these are crab cake sliders.
Frappity.
So Evan, Evan's like, hey Bill, how are you, man?
How are you?
Hmm, I'm alive, man.
We like it or not.
Hmm, stand alive.
Hmm. And Tiki goes over to Bill. He's like, so, Bill. Like it or not. Stan alive
And Tiki goes over to Bill. He's like so Bill
Does this shirt look okay? I earned it with a shoe and a phone
Like well, I hear that you see that I'm wearing a tank top underneath the shirt. Please tell me you can't see it
No, can't see it at all. So I heard there was some drama last time with you at the party. You're like, well, apparently the skeletons out of my closet came out of my closet.
It's like congrats to those skeletons. I know. Now even skeletons get gay pride
Like Diana Ross starts playing
I want the world to know better so
So Jackie tells Jennifer she's like when you're when you're comfortable We'll go talk to Margaret and Jennifer's like no, I want to avoid that baby. What you did was so
Yeah, she's gonna really play it up.
So Tracy is now going to be on Jen's side because she doesn't agree with Margaret.
So Tracy comes over and she's like, listen, hold on, wait for me to tell my
heads, you'll know that I have a motion.
Tilt.
Listen, what she did was way too far.
And I said it and Jen's like, I appreciate that famous baby. And so Margaret's like
you know I'm sick of talking about her okay let's let's let's turn to something else. Dolores has
David. Oh well David and I aren't together. What what happened yesterday? Can't you see I'm a wreck.
Dolores gets really dramatic with us and she goes, the only person I told about David
was Frank and then they cut to him going,
with damage, she's like, we broke up.
I was like, wow, that was a really emotional scene.
I know.
It's also, and it's also only been a day.
So it's like not crazy that you've only told one person
to say, right? It's someone who literally lives with you. And it's also only been a day. So it's like not crazy that you've only told one person.
Right.
Someone who literally lives with you.
So Dolores, Dolores's whole thing is that she realized,
she had this, she had this realization because she saw somewhat,
there was someone who she knew was on life support
and basically the family pulled the plug on the guy
and the girlfriend of 15 years didn't get a voice in it.
So she realized, I'm me, that's me.
I'm the one with the, the, not get on the,
the voice and the life support thing. So I said, you know what? Moving on.
Yeah. You know what? If someone's sick there in the bed,
shitting themselves, David's sitting there, I've had his motorcycle and my God damn living room
for many, many years at that point. If anyone pulls the plug on that fucker, it's going to get to be me.
Listen, David's got a motorcycle and his living room. You know what I've got?
I've got a jacket in my purse, okay?
And that's just the way it is.
And you know, I'm proud of her for wanting more for herself because she has a line in
here where she's like, so you bought me a car, so you bought me a house.
The end, I do.
I do.
Exactly. So then they start, so that they're like,
there's no talk about it. And then Jackie decides to go over to the ice lesion. She's like, Oh my God, I'm such a part of your I was totally a
sorority girl. And like, Oh my God, keg parties are totally my thing.
I'm going to totally do this,'m gonna totally do this block of ice
with a track down at that liquid goes down.
Okay, and she's like, she's like looking the ice.
Like no, Jackie, that's not how you do an ice lose.
Do I just want to do this crazy,
Lujes where you have to press a certain button
for the ice to come out first.
I'm just trying to figure out how this works.
Where do I hold my cup?
Okay, no Jackie, it's not a, it's not a soda fountain.
This has a filter on it, right?
There's a water filter on it.
We're going to rob oil your water, no, this is dirty.
I just want to make sure.
So, so Goraga checks it on Bill.
He's like, hey, everything good. He's like, mm-hmm. I'm here, baby.
So tell me about this story I heard about you in the locker room and six foot five football players.
You know what I'd love to see your third leg.
She happened to play with any tight ends.
She happened to play with any Titans. Mmm.
So then Dolores and Tracy and Jen are talking Dolores comes over and she's like, ah, Jen,
hi Jen.
I didn't say hi.
So hi Jen.
Uh, yeah, I mean, look, you know, what, what happened to you?
What March did you with rough?
And I was very upset about that, right?
So then I went to March, very upset.
But then she said that you did this and that.
And then I said, but now I'm upset with her
You know, so like what are you gonna do? That's what happens
Yeah, and Jennifer's like, well, you know, you know, bebe
I don't know if you're better friends with Margaret than you are with me
And she goes, well, I'm close with both of you. She's well, I'm gonna be upfront with you
Jackie said that she's witness firsthand that you're not a good friend to me, Peppa, which is like, Jen, just completely
throwing Jackie into the bus already. Already. Like a person who's like trying, like,
Jackie, like calls, checks in on her is like, listen, you've been, you, you, like, like,
you just came for my, my husband and I just let you off the hook for that.
And the first thing Jennifer does
is throw Jackie under the bus.
Yeah.
Which after watching the rest of the scene,
was that kind of the plan with Jackie
that she said something like that to Jen
to be betrayed by Jen again?
I actually think so.
I'm glad you brought that up
because I was saying,
but it's Jess.
Yeah, it was.
So Laura just has this like rage in her eyes
Like the rage of like a woman who has come back to her home for the sixth week in a row and there's still no railings on the staircase
She's just like you know what?
What Margaret did was rough and I was upset that what she said and then she's but you know what though
But then Jennifer said what she said and then she said this about me and so the night said okay
You this what you're gonna say so this what I'm gonna say and that's why I'm mad, okay?
And you know what she's questioning all relationship that's not a good part time
You know Dolores is furious because Dolores gets mad at whatever you tell her to like she really commits to the
Ingrid so now Dolores is furious with Jackie and Jen's like
Well, I don't want to try a jacket under the bus.
Baby, as a mother, as a mother.
And Jackie comes up and she's like, hi guys,
did you try the lugs?
It's really good.
Don't hit your teeth with it.
Warning.
Warning.
Yeah, all right.
This still hurts.
I felt my brain actually.
I felt my brain on that one.
And Dolores, like, did you, Jackie, are you questioning my friendship with Jennifer?
She's like, no, I'll be just saying that you're Margaret's friend first, because I am both
of their friends, and that's not your place to say.
Well, it is my place, because I'm looking out for Jennifer now.
I've decided that.
Oh, you, you, you're looking out for Jennifer by telling her I'm not a friend.
She's like, well, I'm telling her that she should be around people who have her back.
And I just don't think you have her back right now.
And so you've been nasty to her since the day you walked on the scene.
And now she's doing that thing where she's kind of like rolling her shoulders back over
and over at was she talks and then like popping her head up and like
bobbing it in her face, you know? And Jackie's denying that she's been nasty. She's like, I haven't
been nasty. Like I've done nothing to her. She's made fucking videos about me and we got to flash
back to Mrs. Miriam Webster. Please define stalker. Why? I'm a comedian. I'm a comedian. She should open up for the guys in Atlantic City.
I forgot about that storyline.
It was so good.
So Jackie, yeah, she made videos and to Laura's goes, oh, the fucking video.
Give me a break.
Give me a fucking break.
The march comes over.
And Marge just stands there for a few like like 10 seconds going
What's going on here? What's going on here? What's going on here?
Yeah, Jack you know that's a problem with you. That's a problem with you to the worth you don't think that anyone
Have the right to be upset about anything
Because people love the right to be upset listen listen all I said was I'm your friend and I'm Jennifer's friend.
I'm glad I'm here because you're more my friend.
You're more my friend.
I'm both your friends.
Yeah, but you're more my friend.
Okay.
Everybody got that down.
Okay, because that's the truth.
And Jack is like, you know, if you're telling a year on his side when you're really not
on his side, that doesn't know good.
You know, Jennifer, Jennifer, do I support you or not not and Jen pulls a Lisa Barlow by saying I would love more
I would love more fine I almost choked on the gob is spit right now that's how I agree
I am okay but you know what fine Jen fine then I'll work on that by and then her shoulders
roll back and she starts popping her head at people
She's like, but I don't need to hear it from this all right from this and points Jackie up and down
What what you mean this don't call me this you know what to me right now?
You're with this don't call me this and I'm not like this not this like this and that like this again
No, no, and not not this
Okay, this and just like this a new show on HBO Max this
Listen, are you saying that you're just like us because this is us, but no if you can say us you say us not this
No, no, you would never make that show. This is this. That's my show. This is this
What about this love What about this love?
This love, this love?
This love is this, this.
That's you right now, okay?
This.
Excuse me, you're gonna give me some more respect in that.
Okay, you're gonna give me more respect, okay?
What are you gonna do about it?
And she gets her nose right in her face
while she's doing that kind of rooster walk, you know?
Yeah, like that rooster back.
She is up there in that face and people are starting and like the guys are like now casually looking like
Hey, uh, hey Frank, uh, you know, it's getting here with the Laura's over there Frank and the Laura's just like up
Up in Jackie's face, but don't talk to my face. Don't talk to my fucking face
this and up in Jackie's face, like, don't talk to my face. Don't talk to my fucking face. This.
And they're trying to break them apart.
And that's where the episode ends.
And it's just to be continued.
So, um, yeah.
And look, I see what Jackie was telling Jennifer,
because Dolores changed her mind mid-fight, right?
She's like, oh, I totally seen Jennifer,
March was wrong.
But then she got the new information
that Jennifer is still calling around people in Tenefly. And so she was like, oh, I'm totally team Jennifer. March was wrong. But then she got the new information that Jennifer is still calling around people in
Tana fly. And so she was like, Jennifer, that's not right. So that's what Jackie said. And now the Laura says freaking out.
Well, anyway, somehow we managed to do a longer recap today than we did at the live show. And I don't know how that happened.
I was like, I was like, in my mind, I was like, it'll be a 40 minute recap because it's like,
we said so much last night.
Now we've actually somehow said more.
We are diseased.
So guys, thank you so much for listening.
Sorry about the live show audio.
Hopefully we can retrieve it.
We're still in talks, but you know what?
This was actually really fun to do it all over again.
And to talk about the things that we didn't get
to talk about last night, because apparently
there were things.
So thanks so much for listening guys.
We'll be back on Monday with some real housewives of Salt Lake City.
And we will catch you on the next one.
Oh, and don't forget to buy your merch.
I crap and merch.
It's really cute stuff.
Yes, I wore some of our Golden Crappies leggings last night.
They were very handsome.
So if anybody needs some new leggings,
we've got really good golden crappy awards leggings.
They're basically gold poop emojis,
and then we've got crap ins leggings,
for those classia of you who just want
some solid blue crap ins leggings.
So go get those all crap insmerch.com,
find our live show links,
we're coming to a bunch of places,
we start again in a couple
weeks so and I've got it and I've got to go to brunch right now so I have to say thank you everyone for listening and we will catch you on the next episode bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobeloni. Dana C. Dana Duh. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Dan yellow.
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Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. Jess saying okay.
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