Watch What Crappens - #1705 SummerHouse: Amandervention

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

This week on Summer House, the ladies contemplate how best to tell Amanda that Kyle has said some hurtful stuff about her. Plus, Lindsay has robust eggs, and EVRETT is back!Get tix to our liv...e shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is a wonderful, hilarious, lovable man who I'm going to reunite with in just about two days
Starting point is 00:01:12 from now, Mr. Ronnie Carham, hi Ronnie, how are you? Hello, how are you? I'm good, good, baby vape. How I'm gonna be seeing you in Minnesota in just about two days and this is our most Minnesota recap of the week because it's the only recap I think that we have that features an active real life, Minnesota. Right, yeah, it's summer house time.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Yeah, we're recording summer house today. We're going to St. Paul, Minnesota, on Thursday to do a show. After that, and we're gonna be doing Real Housewives of Orange County there. And then on Friday, we're going to Milwaukee, and we're gonna be doing our first ever live top chef recap for the premiere. We're super excited about that.
Starting point is 00:01:56 That's gonna be very special. And then on Saturday, we are going to Chicago, Chicago, for Real Housewives of New Jersey. Chicago is actually sold out so thank you all for everyone who has bought tickets at show we can't wait to see there and then later this month we're going to places like DC which is actually very close to selling out Philadelphia Pittsburgh Denver we have a whole big schedule on watch crap and that's also where you can find some links to our merch. Of course, you can also go to crappinsmerch.com. We have some amazing new merch.
Starting point is 00:02:30 I'm wearing one of the shirts right now. A Trixi Monocle shirt. Trixi Monocle and the three arm octopus. Very, they're very special talented band who do a lot of music for Bravo, Trixi Monocle. So if you want to show that you're really fun, you buy one of the t-shirts, okay? And then you walk out on the street and you see other Trixi Monaco. So if you wanna show that you're really fun, you buy one of the T-shirts, okay? And then you walk it out on the street
Starting point is 00:02:46 and you see other Trixi Monaco T-shirts, but like, hey, I love Trixi. So go there, crap and smurge.com for that. Do it. Everybody, thanks so much for being here. Wanna start out with kind of a, just a shout out to the incredible, edible Matthew sisters,
Starting point is 00:03:04 our two of our premium sponsors. They're really good sisters and they had a loss of a lovely man named Link. So we just want to tell you guys we love you and Jenna, we're so sorry for you. And this episode is dedicated to Link. Okay, you had a beautiful relationship with Link. This is about terrible relationships. Yeah. So is it the best thing to dedicate to Link? I don't know, but there it is. We love you, Link. Love you, Link.
Starting point is 00:03:30 Love you, Link. Yeah, and stay strong. And of course, Krapin's community, of course, is rallying behind and around you. So, today we are talking summer house, and I almost forgot, it is a Krapin's on demand episodes. You can actually see us, you can actually see the Trixi Monaco teacher. Go to patreon.com slash watch or crap and watch this recap. So it's summer house. In case you're just joining us, call it a man that don't love each other. They're just going down a path. They're in a sunk cost fallacy because they spent money on a wedding
Starting point is 00:04:07 and now they have to go through with it. And that's where we are right now in some house. I think they, you know, I think they love each other. I just think they're, you know, just people that you don't want to hear about their love. I mean, I don't go, go fight over there. Some people just get off on that kind of thing. Every relationship has their different ways of dealing and some people love by hugging and some people love by giving
Starting point is 00:04:29 gifts and some people love by just giving. Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, and you know, maybe he just likes hearing his name a lot. Like I don't know. He might. So we're still in this SNM party. Andreas SNM party. And Danielle has just told Sierra and Paige that Kyle had told her earlier in the day that the only thing he has in common with Amanda is lover boy. And Paige is like, that's awful. That's so awful that he told you that wearing an ensemble, he bought a full price. That is just so terrible that he had to do that so terrible. Did we mention last week that page says like Cardi B says hose don't get cold and I think this week or this was this week. It's later on in the episode.
Starting point is 00:05:25 How's Don't Get Cold? And my ass like, well, now I know why I'm cold, I guess. She's like, please don't quote, quote, Cardi B. I'll be half of Cardi B. I'd like to say thanks for the shout out page. A lot of Cardi B shout outs on Bravo this week between Gen Shah's reunion look and page of Sorbo.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Who knows the target demographic. out on Bravo this week between Gen Shaz, reunion look and Paige Assorbo. That's the target demographic. So the girls are pages doing this fake crying thing on all the ladies on the show do it this week where they're like, oh, that actually makes me really upset. I am not really crying, but I'm doing crying voice to show my support for my brand. I mean, I'm in this mother fucking wedding. And if someone has to see something to her, it would have to be me. And that's fucking terrifying.
Starting point is 00:06:16 And as it shows her crying over this relationship, it keeps cutting the Kyle and his copy uniform going, is one of them. And then the next one, she's like, I just, I have to be in this wedding. And then you just seem like, I'm in the air doing this like, I'm in the air thing. But this relationship, like, there's so much about it. And then it cuts to Amanda, like, grinding up against some guy. I feel like the reason why she is crying and the reason why she's scared to tell Amanda is because I think she's afraid to get the Hannah burner at it, that Hannah got last year,
Starting point is 00:06:46 when Hannah went up against Kyle. I think that she's like, oh God, I'm maybe painted as like the unloyal friend and like the asshole. She's like, I just, I can't have that right now for my brand. So, oh yeah, because that is tricky, right? You're talking about someone's fiance and that person's complaining about that fiance all the time,
Starting point is 00:07:03 but yes, as their friend, you're not allowed to say, don't get married. You got stuck together like don't do that. Or then they turn against you. They're like exactly. Take away our relationship. That's exactly what happens, which is why they that that's why no one tells them to break up. They just sort of hint at it, but they don't want to actually be held accountable for saying that they should break up.
Starting point is 00:07:24 So, um, uh, page is like, um, she tells us that's one of Amanda's very good friends and as a bright made who looks really devastating, who's being pursued by like two hot guys, like what a time to be bridesmaid. I'm just, I'm disturbed to a point that I'm extremely uncomfortable. Amanda deserves better than that and by better than that, I mean, not paying full prices are, uh, it's terrible. And she's like, this is fucking real. She says it like she's so shocked.
Starting point is 00:07:51 She's like, oh my God, I can't believe we're doing this on this show. This is like real content. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Smash that like button. So a gay who looks like Whitney from Southern Toronto comes up to Luke and he's like, look at you.
Starting point is 00:08:07 You look like Harrison Ford, mother. I'm sure you'll call me mother. I look like Harrison Ford, mother. And he's like, no, I'm not Indiana Jones and denim, Dan. And then Kyle goes up to Robert and he's like, so the last time we hung out, you had hair and you were second guessing relationships. And he robs like, yeah, the hair went away and the relationship's actually really good right now.
Starting point is 00:08:35 And he's like, wow, it's funny because everyone's gone to pinion when they have a front row seat to a relationship and even Danielle, I mean, I had a little flare up earlier with her and Danielle's right behind her. So he's like, uh, that is what he's like. And Kyle goes, wow, that's your best outfit ever. Whoa. Cause he's like that. This is also Kyle just going from every person, like from person to person to complain about his fucking problems. Like you just got in trouble for going to bitch to people. Now you're
Starting point is 00:09:04 going to go to the person who ratted on you's boyfriend, like he's not going to go tell Danielle, hello. And also he's kind of a soul sucker because he goes up when he says, last time we had you had hair and Robert goes, yeah, and I had a job. And he just completely ignored that. He's like, yeah, you know, second people, second guests in these relationships. Just go away. You might as well be talking to a wall. Like you don't even care that you're talking to me, okay? Don't be that person at the party.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Yeah, and he definitely has been, because we've seen several instances over this season where people come up to him and be like, woo, come on, you have any good times. Like, well, I'm having a tough weekend. It's like, wow, I'm having a tough weekend. It's actually does that quite a bit. Also, I'm just realizing that I'm perfectly camouflaged with my wall right now.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Do you notice my shirt is the exact same color as my wall? Yeah, it's like back from prison. Those are all those little papers on the wall are what people send you. Like, they're worry, man. Hi, Gray, I agree with me. I'm a floating head today. So anyway, so then Luke brings a girl to his room.
Starting point is 00:10:12 In case you forgot, has been transformed into the red room. And so he brings a girl and he goes, welcome to my red room. Have you ever seen anything so amazing? I'll answer that. Have you been to a new glue? Because I have been to a new glue. This is better than a new glue. I have to say. Have you been to a Niggaloo? Because I have been to Niggaloo. This is better than a Niggaloo. I have to say, this is now, could you imagine a red egg glue? Well, that's pretty good. This is a classic
Starting point is 00:10:32 Luke game scene, right? Where Luke shows us his game, Luke's game. I mean, the guy is just gorgeous, but that game. So he goes, he's like, you like the red room? First of all, don't call it red room. We've all seen that movie where Jack Nicholson kills this whole family red room, red room. Was that movie the shining? You know what I mean? The shining. Yeah, we don't call it the red room. That's not sexy. Okay. The hot tissue. That the cast roll room. So he walks in there. He's like, you like it. And she's, um, it looks like a dungeon. He's like, yeah, there's the point. Do you like it? And she's like, it looks like a dungeon. He's like, yeah, that's the point.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Do you like it? And she's like, mm, okay, let's go. Come on. It's like the, it's like a bonded party. And this is still your game in a red room. He's just like so sweet and minnesota. And he's like, oh, do you mind if I tie you up? No, okay, we can have a cast role instead.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Do you want to do that little hat dish? Okay, great. So then outside, there's a lot of gaze at this part. A lot of gaze. One's talking to Amanda and he's like, oh my God, you could totally be the next Laura craft. All you need is a little holster back here Amanda. Laura craft would get caught in two seconds in Tomb Raider if she just walked
Starting point is 00:11:48 around going Kyle Kyle. The ball would just roll right over her. Okay. Also, her name is Lara Croft. And as a gay, he should have known that. Laura. I say Laura. No, you know, you said no, you I'm saying he said Laura Croft. I'm like, there is like he goes, you are like Laura Croft. I'm like, I don't know who Laura Croft. I'm like, there is, like, he goes, you are like Laura Croft. I'm like, I don't know who Laura Croft is, but does she work at Yankee Candleworks? I don't know, because it's definitely not.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Laura Croft, are a Tomb Raider goddess. Oh no, did you freeze? Did I lose reception? Oh no. Oh no, did you freeze? Did I lose reception? Oh no, oh no. I don't know if that's a me issue or a Ronnie issue, but one of us has lost, oh, are you back? Oh, but we don't have, I don't have your audio anymore, unfortunately. Oh, I know why, because this Skype has a poor network connection. And I don't know if it's a Ben issue or, okay, it looks like it's back, you want to talk? Yeah. Okay, you're back.
Starting point is 00:12:54 Sorry. Well, you know, the perils of working remotely is that sometimes there's, sometimes the internet gods say, excuse me, we do not like this line of banter about Laura Croft. I know. God's like, listen, I don't approve of that game. So, um, let's see. So pageant Sierra are now in bed. And of course, it's like, that's like, there we work, you know, the bed. So Sierra's like, are you okay? And she's like, now I mean him to be like all the comments is lover boy. That is like opposite. What did you cheat? Exactly. Like what have we seen between Kyle and Amanda that says they just have so much in
Starting point is 00:13:34 common. Yeah. What more do you need? I mean, you're making money together. Sounds good to me. Let's get married. So then Amanda comes clomping through the house and she's like, where are my friends at? Where are my friends? Like an ongoing, an ongoing theme for Amanda, the season is that she was just left behind by literally anyone in her life, whether it's her friends or Kyle, she's always walking to the house being like, Kyle, where my friends, Kyle? So, anyway, so Amanda is clomping through the house
Starting point is 00:14:10 looking for a page in Sierra. So they hear her coming and so they just, they go and run up to their mirror pretend like they're in there just having a makeup session. So Amanda walks in and she's like, hi bitches. And she starts like trying to, not really, not gossip about Alex, but she's just sort of like,
Starting point is 00:14:25 she had just had this conversation with Alex where he said that he's interested in Sierra, so she's trying to be like, so what do you think about Alex? Did you see Alex tonight? What do you think, you know? And she's just also that person who like, all she has is the gossip of everybody else, you know? She does it every time, she runs in, she's like,
Starting point is 00:14:41 oh my God, I was talking to Alex, and then Carl and Sierra were making out with the blind thoo. Like living vicariously through people that are making out with people they don't hate. Yeah. And then, so then, you know, she has no idea that stuff is going down. And then we see Andrea dancing downstairs. Well, we see if they're all just like dancing and drinking and like having fun. He's like, ah, this might be the favorite night of the summer so far. I'll page as this little naughty outfit on our little little page Little pagey pagey pagey, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie. He has sort of like a weird fixation On like making cage small. Have you noticed that? It's creepy. It's creepy. It's so weird. When he keeps saying, you're so little
Starting point is 00:15:23 You're so tiny. You're just so little be it's for her. He keeps saying you're so little you're so tiny you're just so little and I'm so big like okay keep your kinks yourself because it's getting creepy at this point. Yeah it's definitely like little kink and because he didn't you say earlier this season like beige is the littlest person I ever sleep with. Little little page. He's just like it's a little it's a little getting a little weird now. Yeah so um he's like oh it's a little, it's a little getting a little weird now. Yeah. So, he's like, oh, she saw not ya, not a little barata. Tiny barata, barata ball, tiny ball, not big barata, tiny, tiny bell, barata. Tiny little, I forgot bumblinia, not bumblinia, but like, like Tiny little a Boryorise a little plain of a little little grain of a Boryorise She is not even a rice
Starting point is 00:16:09 Tiny little or so She is a quinoa She is a quinoa Tiny quinoa Great of salt, great of salt Great of flour Youngs So he's like, okay ladies, we go to red room,
Starting point is 00:16:25 you do whatever you want. So he, now that's game. He takes two ladies in their shirtless in his underwear and they chain him to the bed. Yeah, he's into it. He's very kinky. He's like all about this. Like there's some people who are like performatively kinky.
Starting point is 00:16:39 I think he's like legitimately kinky. So they tie him up. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, baby. So then at the bar, this really, really sexy relationship with Sierra and Alex is trying to catch fire. And she's pouring a shot into his mouth. He's like down shirtless, you know, and like his bonded stuff, trying to get the shot. And it's just all over his face. Everyone's like, oh, whoa, bad shot. He's like, oh my god, I thought that was going to be Turkey.
Starting point is 00:17:11 Oh, that's a great Turkey shot. Sierra is pouring that shot in like a waitress at 3 a.m. at a diner. Like, you want to refill of coffee, huh? Okay. Like she's so just interested and so over it. So then a girl comes up and she's like, Oh my God, you are gorgeous. And she's like, Oh, thank you. Have you ever been with a girl before?
Starting point is 00:17:34 And she's like, no, have you? Oh, yeah, are you curious? Okay, back on. And Alex is just standing there, just standing there awkwardly. And she goes, yo, square, get the hell out of here. I'll say, what do you, a bully from the 1950s? She's got like a pack of cigarettes rolled up in her arm sleeve.
Starting point is 00:17:57 It's like, okay, Linda, settle down here. Okay, and Alex is just like, oh, should I leave you guys alone? And the girl goes, scram, move. Come on. She's just like ready for West Side Story. She's like, I had this reboot coming. I'm already in the mood.
Starting point is 00:18:15 She just snapped her way to the party. She really, yeah, she's really Officer Cropking. Good. Officer Cropking. And so then Alex, then Alex tells us, oh man, like it's just that the moment is never there for me and Sierra. I'm like the moment.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Linda just came out of nowhere and just created a moment. You got to create the moment, Alex. Me now, there's just, you know, it's like my high school career. There is no chemistry. Okay, no one is going to chemistry right now. So Sierra then goes to Carl and Carl's like,
Starting point is 00:18:45 Oh, Sierra, do you remember make out with me while I was wife hold it? Yeah, I'm not. Do you remember? I do. And she's like, did you make out with anyone else? He goes, I mean, just for the matter. Just for the matter. And then this is where page goes to Maya and goes, you know what, Cardi B says, a hoe never gets cold, that's so clever, because she rhymes hoe with cold,
Starting point is 00:19:11 which is almost a perfect rhyme, but it's not quite, but it's so cool, you know. Maya's like, oh God. Yeah, you know why you're cold, Maya? It's because you have not been making the cookies that I ordered on February 8th. And it is now March 1st. Where are my cookies, man?
Starting point is 00:19:29 She's actually in a lot of trouble because people are having a fit because all these people, you know, you go on TV, you talk about your company, and especially if it's cookies that are not needed ever, that I know. K-N-E-A-D. Ed. But still, I want to support a needed cookie. Okay. I ordered my $50 cookies. Where am I cookies, man? That's crazy. That's bad. That's bad. Maya, we love you and we want to support you. And I'm like all about Maya, but Maya, come on. You got to feed the cookies.
Starting point is 00:19:56 But you've got to feed me. I can't know that there are cookies. Like the best invention ever is the Domino's tracker. We're the second you press order, you just see like Carol is on her way. You know, you see like Evan is preparing your order and then Carol's picking up your order and Carol's ass is coming me. You can watch Carol's car. I need that with your cookies. Okay. I can't. I can't believe so wait. So is she getting in trouble? Are people not getting their cookies from her because she's overwhelmed? No one, yeah, no one really knows. She put something on Instagram like, sorry, we're just behind, but she didn't really say,
Starting point is 00:20:34 oh, she said it was because of a technical issue. I was like, I'm gonna need more than the technical issue because you can't tell me cookies and then I don't get cookies and then you say technical issue. Okay, if it's a technical issue, I'm a guy. Turn it off and turn it back on. That's how you fix it. Kwame came in and just destroyed her oven.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Like, ha, you talked to you about me on summer house. I mean, summer house is, is the preeminent show on Bravo for oven issues. That's true. That's true. It is a running theme on summer house, but, you know, I am looking forward to the cookies. They look delicious. I'm looking forward to them also. I want to. But it has been, I mean, almost a month and that's a little not cool. I mean, it's cookies for crying out loud. Hurry. I don't know. I think you're here. Get here. I mean, that's the one. Yeah. I love that song.
Starting point is 00:21:20 But hopefully that's what it is. You can reach me by chocolate chip. You can reach me by stick and doodle. You can reach me, peanut butter or oatmeal. You can be reached me with one of the... Wow, even oatmeal gets a shaft in an parody song. But not oatmeal. Let's say oatmeal. Uh, I think you said chocolate chips, Nicar doodle. The third one was,
Starting point is 00:21:51 stop talking about cookies. You see, just stop talking about cookies. You're doing this to hurt me. This reminds me I did make a batch of cookies this weekend. That I'm I've been sticking to a diet for two days. Remember still fat. I want the steak.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Come on cookies. You can make it. You can make it. You can make it. By the way, there is cookie, by the way, there is cookie interest and and interest is, is due. So now I need cookies too. So Maya, I hate to say you took too long, so now you owe extra cookies to me as interests.
Starting point is 00:22:28 I'll be making cookies now, lady. Commissars, here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking,
Starting point is 00:23:08 oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app.
Starting point is 00:23:34 So Amanda is the one who kicks everybody out of the bar now. And so that's just her thing. I don't know who wants that to be their thing. Like, guys, and get to kick everyone out of our party now. Yeah. But look, Amanda doesn't look forward to much. And she's got this solo. We give her guacamole and the ability to say, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. So get the fuck out of my house. Also, I just want to announce that construction is start back up next to my window. So sorry if you hear any hammering. It's out of my control.
Starting point is 00:24:13 They were once probably messed up the internet just now. So phantom Craig are texting in their individual offices. They're bad. He's in South Carolina. I guess I'm assuming. So he's like, blue, how was the party? It was fun. We all danced and played a blindfold make out game. And then I quoted Cardi B and everyone left.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Blue, did you kiss anybody? Just Andrea, we made up for like a second and then I quoted Cardi B again. And then like he laughed and said, I was like really tiny and cute and then tried to put me in a little box So then Carl is calling Lindsay with Kyle Robert in my other around a little fire and Lindsay's like No matter when you call Lindsay, this is how she answers the phone. Yeah, I know To me that's what sound like. Waaah!
Starting point is 00:25:08 It's like she just walked into Quiz nose and realized that she could have like a whole variety of sandwiches. Waaah! She's always like parting her hands, her hands are in the air. She's always yelling into the phone because she's the music so loud.
Starting point is 00:25:22 It's so funny. And she's dancing with a lot of other always the bridesmaids type ladies you know just like that corner of ladies at every wedding that's like yeah going crazy. So then Paging Cracker still texts are now they're not they're talking and Craig's like what do you mean you made out like I don't like when you hook up. It makes us look dot, dot, dot. Yeah, dude, you're not living out your fucking life, so.
Starting point is 00:25:53 But actually, I don't like it. And like, I don't like it. I'm gonna go back to bed now. Yeah, he goes, yeah, you know, you know, like I can't come back to the house now, baby. You're so gross. You know, he's so lucky to be on Southern charm next to Austin and Shep, because he looks terrible maybe once or twice he hear, but you just look like total shit now. I mean, you really need those guys. You need to keep those guys by your side. So Paige says, well, I'm pretty sure you said we weren't exclusive. So me innocently kissing someone during a game
Starting point is 00:26:32 Doesn't compare with you sleeping with all the blondes in the hills of California. You see what I did there? I can be Cardi B2 And then we see all these shots of Sashon Medea like Craig, such Christin and Eurlo right on the top of the mountains. Like who? Who's reading all of these articles? Does anyone really care what Christin Cavalieri is doing? Like, no.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Does anybody care? Why does anybody care? I've never heard about Christin Cavalieri doing anything until she banged these guys or flirted with these guys or whatever happened. I cared about Kristen Cavalieri in the context of the hills on Laguna Beach, but I don't care about her in the context of Summer House, except in the bizarre,
Starting point is 00:27:20 and that there is this bizarre Kristen Cavalieri presence. I do appreciate this weird Cavalier presence, but I don't know, yeah, I don't understand why there's like so much ink that's spilled about it. Yeah, yeah, I understand the presence, but you know, there are things going on in the world. Guys, I don't want to mention I'm here, but you might want to look around.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Okay. Wait, there's things going on, the young Christian Cavalier and what you's up to in any given moment. Did I mention my cookies? Did I mention my cookies? Where's my cookies? No fun to me. Yeah, where are the cookies?
Starting point is 00:27:52 So now the girls are all changing, and Carl's downstairs saying, oh, burr things, or McDonald's. What do you think? What do you think, Ross? And then it cuts up to page getting out of bed to get changed changed and it just says in brackets, sniffles.
Starting point is 00:28:07 I'll grab the whole of the page. Oh, little pig sniffle. Oh, you know what I love about sniffle. It is like little, little snout rocket. Oh, so cute, little snout rocket. I need to go back to this Burger King conversation. It was apparently more important to me than it was to you. But Kyle says Burger King. No, Carl says Burger King, you're McDonald's Burger King. And Rob's like, I would love some Burger King. And then Kyle screams, Burger King. Mickey, here's it from a mile away. And is that excited McDonald's every time? Who are these people? No, Burger King? What is that even injected with?
Starting point is 00:28:49 That's just that smoking flavor. Are you kidding me? Okay, no, no, okay. I would say I say McDonald, here's my full argument. It's almost always gonna be McDonald's. I agree. But there are some moments that when you think to yourself, it's a Burger King night.
Starting point is 00:29:07 When it's a Burger King night, it's a Burger King night. Like it's beyond a doubt a Burger King night. So I think for me, I give them grace, Ronnie, because I could sense that it was a Burger King night for them. Like, normally it's a McDonald's night, and then Carl was like, glows, what's the deal with crazy? What's up Burger King? Yeah, Burger King.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Yeah, Burger King. Because sometimes you want unarranged, okay? The only time I've ever had that really happen is when I've just drank everything and done snorted everything I've seen and the only chemical left to put in my body is that weird smoky thing they inject. I'd like to go into it.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Where you're like, I don't know what that is, but it seems like it'll kill me. I'm gonna go have that. I mean, I love the Whopper. I love the, I love, when I was a young girl, I used to consistently order a double Whopper with cheese, which is kind of crazy. But I'm really, I come for the Whopper,
Starting point is 00:30:01 but I'm really in it for the onion rings with a tangy sauce. That's really all it's about. Definitely not the fries. So, um, Carl's, so guys, just in case you're wondering what's happening. We're hungry. Hey, just crying in the closet. Okay. And Carl's like, guys, burger king's here.
Starting point is 00:30:18 I'm gonna go. Burger king sponsoring you, or is this all free burger king's stuff? I hope they're getting sponsored because we certainly spot we certainly talked about it a lot because I know they're making me want it now. I don't even eat meat anymore, and I want you get an impossible you can get a burger you can get an impossible one. That's pretty good. No, no for me. Maybe I'll get a burger king and just put some fries on it instead of the meat. That's what I usually do. Or we'll get the onion rings though. No, I don't eat those.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Okay. What? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait about onion rings. Okay, so we had some technical issues right when we were talking about Burger King and having a very impassioned debate, but now we're back. This is what happens. We are having some definite tech issues here today. So while they are ordering Burger King and everything, yeah, Paige is, she's in her closet with Maya just sobbing. She's like, I don't know what to do about Craig. Eh. Eh. And she cried like a baby, like an actual, like an actual,
Starting point is 00:31:32 like little newborn baby. Like, eh. Eh. Eh. And Amanda comes in the room and she says, why? Why? I'm like, oh my God, could you imagine if anybody was like that with a man that when she was crying five times a day,
Starting point is 00:31:48 much, she just doesn't want her to cry really. And Sierra's like, Craig, and Maya is like, Paige, stop, literally stop. Do not do this literally. Do not waste your tears on, Anne Paige, literally. He's like, I trusted you. And I'm like, I'm not your girlfriend. Like, you made that very clear.
Starting point is 00:32:12 And he said, I'm not mad. Just please don't be upset. I was just taking him back. You would be too. And, um, Syri's like, don't, don't text him. Don't, don't text him back. And she says, I'm not responding So I mean next CC are going I can already feel it. I have trapped gas
Starting point is 00:32:34 That's summer house. Yeah, they're all because now they're all going to bed She's like I know I'm gonna have trapped gas which is funny because she didn't even have the onion rings and then Luke Luke is just in his room going, you know, I love the red lights. Red lights are pretty cool. I love the red lights. Yeah, it's nice. It's like what it feels like to be inside the Toaster Heaven. And then Kyle is rolling, he's just wasted coming to bed,
Starting point is 00:32:58 probably smelling like a whopper, you know. You know, smell just stays in your car for weeks. And so he just comes on the bed rolling around and Amanda is just swiping on her phone. I think that just feel like we've seen their relationship until the 80s, you know, their 80s. Yeah, so the house is a disaster in the morning and um, Craig texts and he's like, everything's okay. Look, I wasn't expecting that, but you also understand what it feels like getting that in though See I just serious reading that too much cuz suck my dick So now people are waking up
Starting point is 00:33:35 Andreas doing his hair and Alex is cleaning outside like a bunch of them are outside to clean and Carl goes outside to clean He's like, oh, gentlemen. Oh good morning, morning, gentlemen. Oh, we're clean. Gentlemen, oh, all right. And then the kitchen Alex is like a good morning, Robert. How are you so, so, but no one asks Alex because Alex, you know, just like, okay, we'll feel better. So then Andrea is talking to Maya and he goes, Oh, hello, do you want coffee?
Starting point is 00:34:07 And she's like, no, do you drink coffee? No, it makes me, you know, oh, it makes you, yeah. Hashtag trap gas. So then Carl's the most awkward scene ever. And it was like, oh, I have dropped gas watching this scene. I know. So that's how I was like, whoa, what an interesting party. The little dance party with a thaw.
Starting point is 00:34:36 That's so, I want more. Someone was making out with me. I'm like, spinning me around. And I later learned, you'll see our all. She'll be great by the way. And Alex is like, I'm so mad. As he cleans up, he's like trying to be all upset. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Yeah. He's like, yeah, honestly, one of the top five hardest things ever. Top five. Did Alex, Paige is like, did Alex see it? He goes, and Sierra, because Paige is talking to Sierra about it inside. And she's like, did Alex see it?
Starting point is 00:35:04 And Sierra goes, I think Alex was standing one person over. I guess not my most proudest moment. Like, did I like it? Yeah. What I do it again, absolutely. Yeah. What I totally, totally into it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Was I really proud of it? Yeah. Oh, I guess it wasn't a not proud moment. I guess I have no regrets about it whatsoever. It's fine. Yeah. She's like, I need him to be more assertive. I mean, I guess I was assertive last night with Carl.
Starting point is 00:35:30 And if he's just like, I'm just getting pages just sobbing in every corner of the house. Yeah. Yeah. So if he's just like, I think that, because Dan, she's talking to Danielle and Sierra. And she's like, I think that our best decision was not telling Amanda last night about Kyle.
Starting point is 00:35:49 So like, what did you say again? Say it again. And Danielle's like, he said that they had nothing in common except for the business. So they're like, oh my God, this is going to be so annoying. How are we going to approach it? What are we going to say? And Sierra's like like can we just like bring it up so casually and page is like Yeah, how about this? Well, I put on some bathing suits and I got by the pool I'll just be like hanging out and suntanning and then we'll just like casually bring it up. It'll be easy
Starting point is 00:36:17 Be really casual and simple. I can't So Carl sees Andrea and he's like, oh Mr. Abanda, Jean, I'm so far. How are you? Oh, he's like, oh, I'm so good. Did you see little itty, pity tiny little tiny squeegee little page last night? Also little and cute and tiny and small. And there's a bucket where they're discarding all the drinks or pouring out all the cans and stuff. And Andrea goes, what is that?
Starting point is 00:36:46 That he's like, oh, it's kombucha and Harpies. Rijal name on the show and fact. So then Maya's ordering breakfast sandwiches and then Danielle and Robert are being like cutesy because she's getting him an uber And so he leaves and now the girls are gathering outside Which is poorly timed because like, if you just order the breakfast sandwiches, I think like, I think wait till after the breakfast sandwiches.
Starting point is 00:37:10 Like right now, you don't have food in your stomach, you're gonna be even more emotional. And also your breakfast sandwiches are gonna come in the middle of this conversation and be cold. Yeah. And, um, um, babe, there's like, what at day? Yeah, what at day? Yeah, what a day. Cause Amanda's out there and she's like kind of in a good mood, but nobody else.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Yeah. Yeah. And Sarah's like, Oh, I guess we've all got the Sunday scary. So I'm saying, I mean, there's just like a long going on. Oh, do you have, do you guys have things to do this week? Yeah. Like, I feel like I just need to like get stuff checked off the list so I can feel like excited about your wedding. Okay, that's our cute girls. Go, girls.
Starting point is 00:37:51 So Danielle's like, um, are you, you feel like you're more in sync at home? She's like, what do you mean? Well, when you guys are out here, because a lot of this stuff sort of comes to a head and like he was like upset when we were settling up, was heading up the party yesterday and you seemed he just sort of vents. Um, page I was under the understanding that this was actually your part. I don't know why I'm still speaking, but just feel free to jump in any moment. Okay. So I'm about to get to the good stuff. Do you mean that he likes that shit?
Starting point is 00:38:18 Yeah. Yeah. And also like, um, we love the fuck out of you. So like if he says stuff to the group, like we want you to know. He didn't say stuff to the group. He said stuff to Danielle who he thought was his friend that he could rent to because every other week, it's Lindsey and Danielle kind of paired with Kyle
Starting point is 00:38:39 while all the other like Amanda's with Paige and Sierra and all of them. So that's how Danielle's been acting so far to me. Yeah. So she's like, um, she's like, yeah, I mean, we just, we just, we don't want you to think that we're gossip about you. We're just merely talking specifically about you behind your back and sharing information that we all have. But that's, that's different. behind your back and sharing information that we all have, but that's different. Well, I know everything that he says,
Starting point is 00:39:08 okay, okay, eat, eat, eat, eat, like. And this is when all the cry of voices come in. Yeah, that's a cry battle. Yeah, you guys like no, have anything that gobbin' other than lover boy. And the man goes like, but he just gets in a moon and he doesn't remember. I mean, he says she when he's upset, which I know isn't right or kind or nice.
Starting point is 00:39:31 And then it just cuts the Kyle talking to Alex being like, dude, you eat so much. He's like, yeah, well, I lose five pounds whenever I go back to the city because we eat like once a day here. Okay. Like, where's the ground turkey? Am I right, everyone? Am I right? because we eat like once a day here, okay? Like where's the groundwork? Yeah, am I right, everyone? Am I right? Kaka goes, ah, I mean, I'm gonna shower. It was like, soft.
Starting point is 00:39:52 So that's how Paige continues. I don't want you to have to like defend your wedding because like I paid your wedding and I want to be able to come to you and be like happy because like I want you to like me so like happy A little tiny pee just pops out and drops on the ground This is when they all start like repeating that they just want to be happy It's like and sometimes I see you too, and I don't know if she is and I hate that for you
Starting point is 00:40:21 I hate that I have to walk talk to you about this right now I mean if this was me and you heard my fiance say I have one thing in common with her And it's my business and I'd be like why would you say that? But I mean guys like we wouldn't even escape our own feelings because we're just to work all the time and then works like one thing that was like awesome because he's like Amanda will you zero access and I'm like no fuck off and it's like we're happy. And inside Kyle is like looking at the window and he sees all the girls sitting around crying and he just knows they're talking about him. Like at this point I mean it's gotta say something,
Starting point is 00:41:05 if you see a bunch of women crying and you know like there's a good chance that like it may have to do with you, there may be some self examination that needs to happen. So, I said, and he's like, oh, I think the girl's talking about the girls and none of the guys even care. They're all on their phones.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Yeah, the economy, Kyle. Commissions. Here comes one right now. So then it's my turn to do her her fake things. She's like, I've been in like the exact situation even in and it's like, what if the hardest thing in my life to be like, you know, I'm okay because I'm happy I did it because like, there's more like I loved him so much that to be like, you know, I'm okay. Because I'm happy I did it. Because like there's more. Like I loved him so much that I was like, I sacrificed my own family.
Starting point is 00:41:50 And Kyle's like, I'm gonna go out there. My is growing now. I'm gonna go out there see what's popping. So Paige is like, we're not breaking, we're not breaking, we're not like trying to bring in this up to make for you to make a decision. And then Sierra's like, I just want you to be happy. Yeah, we're not against him.
Starting point is 00:42:10 I fucking love Kyle. We just want you happy. I just want to see you happy. I just want to see you happy. I just want to see you happy. But not one damn tier. This is all those voices I was dying. It's like when a little kid is asking you for something and you say no.
Starting point is 00:42:25 And they're like, but just why? Amanda's like, I mean, I know what a healthy relationship looks like and I know you want the best for me. Just like I want the best for all of you. And Daniel's like, wait a second, I haven't done it yet. I hate not seeing you happy So it's like hey ladies and then there's a big long pause and then the whole group at the same time guys Cuz like you guys have been out here for a while.
Starting point is 00:43:05 Can I ask what we're talking about? I'm like, I'll let's, you know, it's like, they're talking about like clear that it's not a new conversation. Last time there were this many ladies crying in a circle, people ended up burning a lot of bras. That cost a lot of property damage. I read it in history. So just giving, they're just giving them the biggest thing guy.
Starting point is 00:43:24 And Amanda's like, well, you said we have nothing in common other than lover boy. Well, we got a lot on a plate right now and it's hard to find time for us and I'm I'm just stretched to the absolute max. And she's like, but you take it on on me and it shows. And they just like, I mean, the date of wedding and the piece of paper, it's not gonna change anything. It's not gonna make you less stressed, you guys. And Sierra's like, yeah, like it's just concerned to hear as her friend, like some of the things
Starting point is 00:43:55 that are like, uh, sad. Like, seriously, don't want things like that said about my friends. We're like, really for you guys. Okay, we're really real. I guess we just want you guys to be realistic and we know it's tough. And it's so much easier to postpone rather than undo. That's as bad as close I'm gonna say I can break up.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Okay, but just read between the lines there if you can. And Kyle's like, but there's not a bone in my body thinking of postponing it. No, her point is you've been postponing it because it's easier than just breaking up, you know, but he doesn't hear it. So he's like, look, sometimes I'm brutally honest. I mean, that's the nature of a relationship when you're like five to six years in. Okay, Kindergarteners. Kyle, it's not really honest. You're just sometimes an asshole. It's not a great quality. And Peach goes, let's go eat a bagel. And I never say that. I've literally never said, let's go eat a bagel. But that's how upset I am. I would actually prefer to have carbs instead of
Starting point is 00:44:59 listen to this anymore. So Kyle keeps a man to outside. He's like, come on. And she's like, I'm going in Kyle. Well, it's not like I was sitting here badmouthing you. I'm like, but you weren't getting all this the point. So, uh, he's like, I was frustrating and venting to Danielle. So you see mean herbal things about me. And then inside Carl's like, you're all right, you're all right, you're all right. You're all right. I'm just talking to all the girls, you're all right. Okay, now, hey, look right, Pada, you're all right.
Starting point is 00:45:32 You're all right. You're all right. You look, are you all right? By the way, you're all right, Pada, you're all right. All right, Pada, you're all right. Amanda, you've done this all season with all of your friends. Like, all season, you've bitched about Kyle.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Yeah. He did it to, granted he's an idiot and he did it to Danielle. Yes, you know, who will love to stir it. But still, I'm not sticking up for Kyle. I think he's a shithead for doing it. Like I've said over and over going around talking to everybody, but Amanda, you're the same. That's actually a very good point.
Starting point is 00:46:03 So Amanda saying, it's just shitty that you're saying all we have a comment is lover boy. And he goes, no, while she was talking about how you don't seem happy. And then inside Daniel's like, it's the hardest conversation to have with someone you love. And I think she felt that and I know she has to have a heart. But Kyle, we're getting married in like two months and there has to be improvement. Like it can't be the same cycle all the time.
Starting point is 00:46:29 And he's like, oh, no, I'm gonna crawl. I love you. Good like I'm working so hard. We're like, I believe after I'm working by a house long to like give you everything. And she's like, I know about like there needs to be adjustments. I need to go watch page eat a big goal. I did. I'll do what I want to do whatever it takes. And do it. And I'm already crying. What else do you want? Actually, not much more. I just want to make you cry today. Great. We're
Starting point is 00:47:01 back on track. So then Andrea is trying with page. She's like, oh, I love you last night. That's so cute. That's what I need. You could I need baby, baby. Oh, yeah. By the way, I was telling the girls. I said, I'm filming for Kyle at Watermark. Oh, 7.30. It's a week night. It's called. That restaurant is called Watermark. Like even some pleasure, it's going to go to go celebrate has to do with the business. We're going to trademark for drinks. We're going to Watermark and then we're going to LLC.
Starting point is 00:47:35 Okay. Copyright at y'all. You guys want to get drinks and copyright? I'll have a mocktail. So I'm not allowed to get a mocktail. I tried to trademark. It's a certificate against the rules. But so now they're all packing and and and page brings her own bag down from her room and Andrea is like,
Starting point is 00:47:54 Oh, what the fuck, bitch? Why don't you do it, bitch? I was about to do it for you. You're so tiny little, eating, pitties like, watching little adorable ant taking big rock down from mounted, no, it's not right. New little beach. It's like, whoa.
Starting point is 00:48:11 And she's like, I'm a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man right now because I'm a good term with crag, but keep the home fire burning, thanks. Yeah. And I'm now Andrea starting to feel, like now that Paige is taking down her own luggage He's turned the field. He's turned the field
Starting point is 00:48:29 Unloved and he's saying lately. I feel like pages awkward with me I want to feel like I have eyes and only one person and she has only eyes for me But now she taking luggage down by herself when she's so tall and steamy and cute and small. It's not right. It's awkward I'm going to hug her really hard. She's like, now, okay, God, you're suffocating me. And Amanda's like, oh my God, where did you find my vowels? So now Kyle and Amanda are talking in the bathroom and he's still sort of sniffled crying.
Starting point is 00:49:00 And he's like, I know, I know, I know you know it's stuff. And she's like, I just want everyone to be happy and excited for us because they know how excited we are. And it's shitty to see everyone so worried for us. Yeah, why would that be? Everyone's worried because you guys are literally fighting around them at all times. I mean, you woke the whole house up screaming and crying after calling them 26 times and breaking
Starting point is 00:49:29 shit in the bathroom. So yeah, oh my gosh, this couple. So let's see. So you can tell Andrea is new because he doesn't have the season one away luggage like Daniel and Carl. No, it's no dissent. I never mentioned it because you know, all the podcast, we all got the away. And by the way, I'm not dissing it. I just ordered a new away, a larger carry on. What do you think about that? But I think it's funny that they have that same one, but all the newer people don't. It's like a badge of honor for season one.
Starting point is 00:50:03 Oh, yeah. Yeah, although technically Danielle came in season two, but that was still during the peak of a way before they had their corporate scandal. So now everyone's leaving and Carl's like, yeah, good week amount, good week on. So now it's like city time. We have a big city section this week,
Starting point is 00:50:21 which made me happy, which meant a lot of Trixi Monical. Trixi's first song is a very powerful anthem that goes, what you know about me, better as somebody. If you like what you see, and that's it, there's no force lyric. Is this the song they wrote about Alex? What you know about me, I got an awesome body. If you like what you see, and then someone just walks away.
Starting point is 00:50:51 The end. They turned off the mics. So this is Andrea. He's like, look at me. I'm on set. He's waddling for some crazy shit. Every time I see him. Some weird strange like, uh, I don't know. Yeah. some a sleeping bag life jacket coat. It's a weird, it's a weird look, but you know, hey, someone's buying it. Yeah, it's like a, some sort of like, Parsons student, final exam look that they had to put together. It's the next one is,
Starting point is 00:51:20 live it up, live it up, I'm gonna do this for Anthony. And what she's gonna do forever, oh, get a table for two, we do this forever, get a table for two, yeah, got a table for two, I'll go on this side so I can see what I'm gonna get. So the moment I've been personally looking forward to since last week, Carl's date with McKenzie, who many of you may know, or some of you may know from Love Island, USA season two.
Starting point is 00:51:48 What a tweet. Oh my gosh. So, if I had just seen this show, it would have been like, oh my God. Love for us. Lovely. It's great. Beautiful, nice, supportive of sobriety.
Starting point is 00:52:00 It sounds great, right? So Ben sent me this clip of her from Love Island. Yeah, Love Island. Wow. So the guy that I have been building a relationship with this entire time, like America chose him to go on a day. Like, why would America do that to me? Like, and don't they want to see people like trying to have a relationship? That's what we're trying to do. One of the great moments, the clip is called Mackenzie Breaks Down Again. And basically, yeah, America forced the guy that she's in a couple of days to go on a date with a new girl.
Starting point is 00:52:37 And she was so mad, but she was not mad. She was mad because she felt like America hated her. And it was true, America did hate her. And it was just one of those moments where it's like, yes, we America hate you. And you receive the message perfectly. And she was like, oh, the American doesn't like me. I can't believe America doesn't like me.
Starting point is 00:52:57 I mean, it showed also how phony those relationships are. You know, it's like she didn't, it wasn't even about the guy she was like, but I thought that what they wanted to see was people like together, so like we're doing that, like I'm doing everything they want. Oh, so... No, and that's just the first and the brokenness. The brokenness.
Starting point is 00:53:21 It was just a tiny little taste of how awful she was on that show. And so now here she is, of course. Yeah, I can figure because she was wearing what looked like a bib in that in that scene. It looked like she was wearing an adult bib as a baby or like a baby went somewhere and tied a bib around her neck. And it's like, that's too big for the baby. Put a string around it in the center. Or maybe it's like a dickie or something. Or it's like, she basically looks like an angler fish wearing a bit with blonde extensions essentially. So she's now here with Carl. She's like crossed over into the summer house,
Starting point is 00:53:55 you never saw him somehow. And she comes in, how are you? I mean it in one piece, because America hates me. I look great, Bob. Thank you, sure. Yeah, you look great. You know, it's like crazy. Like, we got along great, no, but like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Like, I mean, I've never, and he tells us, I've never pursued a relationship with alcohol or drugs, so like, I feel like I'm in middle school. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, I feel like I'm in middle school. I have like a kindergarten crush. What can I say? I'm slower than middle school. I'm just getting younger and younger. I'm just a little boy. I'm a gonna lie. Yeah, I'm not gonna be a middle school. I have to look at a kindergarten crush. What can I say? Slower than middle school. I'm just gonna younger and younger.
Starting point is 00:54:27 I'm just a little boy. I'm a sweet little boy, which is, by the way, this is like classic Carl. I mean, this is all, I think it's a very valid, an interesting thing, you know, like going through a relationship for the first time, being sober probably has, is a different experience. But Carl acting, like, you know,
Starting point is 00:54:43 putting on this thing that he's regressed to childhood. This is like what he always does every season. I'm just like, I feel like I've got like a little crush on you. I feel like I'm in middle school. I've got a crush on like on a hot girl. That's what I feel like. He does this every time to disarm people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:57 You know, fuck boys are a fuck boy. Okay. You're not going to tell me that your Carl, like what season is this? 6.0 or whatever. I'm not buying Carl 6.0 when you're dating Bacansey from love Island. Okay. But you met in LA. I got.
Starting point is 00:55:13 I got a lot. Yeah. You know, I love that you don't part it a lot. That could be a real turn off. She's like, yeah, not for me. You gently want to better yourself. That's a priority for you. That's really cool. You know, thanks.
Starting point is 00:55:26 And then a drink comes and Carl does that thing that we all do, but like when Carl does, it's like very pronounced, which is that he brings a drink to his mouth and he thinks the straw is where his tongue is, but it's not so his tongue sort of flaps around for a little bit like the straw like, thanks. Oh, oh, oh, oh, got it. Got the straw.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Yeah, yeah, got it. Yeah, someone gave me a metal straw and I was like, no,, got the straw. Yeah, yeah guys got it. Yeah, someone gave me a metal straw and I was like, no, I'll be blind. Cause that's how I always think I know where the straw is and I'm like, oh, I can't see Jesus Christ. I'm like, who wants a metal stick in my eye? No, thank you. I would rather a turtle suffer than go blind from a straw, okay?
Starting point is 00:56:03 So Mackenzie says, you know, our first date, we didn't even touch and you kept saying, have physical touches, you're a love language. And then you're just staring at me like, can I touch her? Can I not touch her? That's my way of being like, what the fuck are all? What's up with those mixed messages?
Starting point is 00:56:19 I love that he's love languages. What's your love language, Carl? Fucking fucking pretty much. Just being a middle schooler. My love language is being a middle schooler. Carl's like, yeah, I was pretty touch with you in the California. Remember that? That was man. It was all there. Yeah. So she's like, yeah, well, I want you to do some PDA here. Can you give me a kiss? Thanks America. Yeah, she was benign in the scene.
Starting point is 00:56:52 I'm hoping we get a lot more of her, and I'm hoping that we really see like how awful she is on the show. Like that will make me very happy. Yeah, I mean, benign things still need to be cut out in general. That's true The new song is I don't play thing. I don't play thing
Starting point is 00:57:17 Yeah, I'm extended fertility clinic. I know it's Lindsey walking into a fertility office Like she get a cheat her way into fertility So She's there to steal some eggs. I mean, what the hell song? So she's there with Danielle and she's talking about freezing her eggs and she's thinking about doing it for a long time So now she's gonna do it. So she tells us, you know, like how many eggs do I have? Like what am I working with? That's like step number one. So here we are. Step number one. I just, I just, I don't know, for some reason they cracked me up that she needed to articulate that, like, what step number one is,
Starting point is 00:57:57 and that we're here at step number one, and she's like, at the fertility doctor. So Jamie all comes to support her, and she's like, nothing like turning 30 fine and learning your exageria. And Danielle's like, yeah, what are they like old ladies? Yeah, do they need like a walker to get through the uterus? No, do they like scream it guys for not making them sandwiches and pin taco contracts to their walls? Okay, that was too far to.
Starting point is 00:58:24 Step number two. The eggs get the gun. Taco contract. So Danielle's like my bad. So Lindsey says, you know, okay, and she's holding her pen because that's what you do when you're like super serious. She's like, um, if I can stop my biological block and eliminate that as my process of choosing a partner, then maybe I can find someone to sexually mend for me. You can't stop your biological clock. What the hell? What the hell place is that?
Starting point is 00:58:56 Well, she thinks that place. Well, she thinks they're just going to freeze your age. Well, yeah. Well, no, I think she thinks that if she freezes her egg, she doesn't have to be, have as much pressure to, you know, find someone and like fall in love, get married and have a baby. She can just like focus on the person. But unfortunately, you can freeze your eggs, but you can't freeze your, you know, your therapy sessions, like you need those still. So like that's gonna, you're gonna have to get through that too. But she's done, by the way, she's done great work.
Starting point is 00:59:26 I mean, look at where Lindsay is now, or where she was in season one. She's like fun now. So it's only because she's single. Do we haven't seen her with anybody to yell at this season? That's just the first time that we haven't seen her with, this is the first time we've seen her without somebody. In a while. In a without somebody. And a while.
Starting point is 00:59:45 And a little while. And a while. And a while. Yeah, a while. Single Lindsey is a lot more fun. And then relationship Lindsey is like, how many days? What did you do to me? So then, so she's meeting with this doctor and they're looking at her blood work.
Starting point is 00:59:59 And he's like, well, the normal egg work for someone who's at the ripe old age of 35 is 2.6. But your AMH level is 3.6. She's like, she just starts, she and Danielle actually they just won the lottery. They go nuts. Because he tells her her eggs are 28 years old. And he's like, well, we need to look at your eggs. And she's like, oh my God God, I am a young of the ovaries of both apps in the page. I'm 28, 28, 28. I'm 28. So then, then they do, Robo, I wouldn't be surprised if you put Botox in your ovaries just for this appointment. So now Lindsey goes to do an ultra sound and so they're looking inside her uterus and Danielle's like, it looks like a pepperoni pizza and the doctor goes, well my colleague says chocolate chip cookie. Food analogies are very popular around here.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Although we're thinking about pivoting to pepperoni pizza because we've been waiting a month for some cookies to come in and we're at this point we're very gonna need your ovaries. Okay, it's gonna need your ovaries. So they're celebrating and Lucy's like, oh my god, this is a call for celebration. I don't even know where to go from here. And Danielle says, you might start with some pants. Put them bum.
Starting point is 01:01:23 Let's go. I, most of you. Now it's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful.
Starting point is 01:01:32 It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful.
Starting point is 01:01:40 It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's mom. She's like, howdy! And he goes So I need some motherly advice on the relationship front. She goes Relationships, I thought we were past that point. Oh God. Here we go again Come on, Kyle. You may be ski with the woman. You're getting married So he's like, yeah, but like I know it feels trivial, but like we're six away from the wedding and like, we have bump in the road and now our friends have us questioning
Starting point is 01:02:08 our relationship. Like, I'm just heartened. Okay. Some of these people are even in our wedding party. Just well, you know, this is a high pressure time and, you know, take a lot of deep breaths, drink excessive amounts of alcohol. You've got, you know, you got a lot going for you. You guys love each other.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Or at the very least, you got a lot going for you. You guys love each other. Or at the very least you guys know who each other are. And so like, it's just, it's never easy to get married. And he says, when you were six to seven weeks out from your wedding, how are you feeling? She goes, oh, you don't want to know, Kat. I mean, you would don't want to know. Look, I was going topless in Greece. That's what I was doing. He's like, you're right. I don't want to know. God.
Starting point is 01:02:44 So no, it's. God So now it's Just let's just pretend I'm your mom for a minute. If you don't want people Questioning your relationship. Don't tell them all it sucks. Yeah, okay. Yeah, exactly. Yeah So now it's call 39th birthday at watermark. Watermark. Yeah I don't know. Well party and do they have any living it up living it up? Nope It's true that's so funny so They people are arriving there page like oh my god. I thought I was gonna be late, but I wasn't it's some so amazing sometimes Car like big party big partner
Starting point is 01:03:22 So people are just like arriving and Lindsay shows up. Did you miss me? 28 year old coming in Can we give love her boy a rest? I mean Jesus Christ did the burger come with lover boy to Like everywhere they go. There's lover boy everywhere So Lindsay asked how bondage night was, and Andrea's like, I had fun, nice make-out with little, tiny smurf of lady. Little bitch.
Starting point is 01:03:53 Bitches, I don't remember doing it. She doesn't even remember Vermont. Because that's not true. And Lindsay goes, Well, Andrea, you're apparently not very memorable. Ising. Guess who's here? It's Everett.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Yeah. It's me, Everett here at this party to celebrate nobody's marriage, but yours. Hold on. Let me pass around pictures of this pretty big investment I just got a wedding ring for another lady that's not Lindsay. You know, it was not very easy for me to get this wedding ring. I had to climb through difficult terrain and oh man, Ronnie, I can't find my ever music. It was difficult.
Starting point is 01:04:46 It was a difficult time. But I made it through. I said I want to go to Zales, but Zales is closed. So someone said I should go to Jared. So I said Jared and he said no diamonds for you. Finally I went to Cannes. I said every kid begins with Cannes. I said no every kid begins with E for ever.
Starting point is 01:05:04 That's what I did. I heard that my girl wanted a diamond and so I did what any real man would do. I called Leonardo DiCaprio and I said how much of them blood diamonds brother. He said he doesn't do that anymore and I said I'm calling out the Gina. You fucking loser Well, but she didn't take my call so then I heard there's some diamond a big time bigger diamond than you ever heard before the Best bud diamond so I called up my friends Kermit Fuzzy Bunch of the other ones we went to London and we went and we broke into a museum and all those little muppets dangled me down and pulled me back up and that's why I got
Starting point is 01:05:50 this baseball diamond for my fiancee and I promised right then and there that our wedding party was gonna be a bunch of little fuzzy nice skating around a flat top grill to the tune of Here Comes Ride. So please welcome my fiance, Priscilla the chicken. Yeah, so that was Everett. Everett shows up to show off his new ring. Oh my gosh. Everett was looking strange, I have to say. Everett is strange.
Starting point is 01:06:24 And Lindsay, you know, we really, I think this was set up to make Lindsay have a fit, you know, on the same episode as her egg freezing. But she didn't. She's like, you know why I'm single? I have the X of a 28 year old and I'm feeling really fucking good about that. Everito. Yeah, she actually calls him Everito. I mean, she's really, really adds the Edo to anything.
Starting point is 01:06:50 Like, I'm glad she wasn't at the stage of her life in 1994 during the OJK. So I'm like, and judge Edo Edo. Or like decades ago when Tacos came out, because if she got that taco contract, she could have actually named Tucky Toes. She really could have. She would be so rich. I know. So, yeah, so Everett looks like he's like, he looks like he's been through a lot.
Starting point is 01:07:11 So, anyways. So, the good part, my favorite part about this is that we got a montage of Lindsay and Everett over the years, which featured one of my favorite quotes from Lindsay. I'm gonna go sleep at a guys house tonight with a guy in a bed. And how do you feel about that?
Starting point is 01:07:30 Oh, those classic Lindsay scenes are so good. They are so good. So Amanda comes and she's in a good mood, because this is Kyle's big birthday night. And Maya asks Paige if she's talked to Amanda post chat the other day. Maya and Paige is like, I talked to her on my day and she's like, I talked to her Tuesday. So I think I have the upper hand here, so I'll start.
Starting point is 01:07:53 She was like, you know, I'm not mad at you. Like, there was like no hostility from her. And Maya asks if she mentioned that Kyle's upset with them. And Paige goes, that didn't even cross my mind. So yeah. And, um, and so there's, uh, is this where a page that announces that Craig is coming on Sunday night? Is that what's happening?
Starting point is 01:08:16 Yeah, they ask her about Craig and he's coming Sunday. And she's like, I mean, he said, I need to treat you better. And like, I think that's a step to say I miss you and then book a flight. Like, I think we just went into a diff because we miss each other. Yeah, that's like, I always think it's a little strange to be like, I mean, I definitely realized I like him a lot more. Otherwise, I wouldn't have cried.
Starting point is 01:08:38 And then like, when we started fighting and like, he got all jealous and he became awful and became an asshole that just proved that he liked me. And so like, I just don't want to jeopardize anything. I'm like, I don't always love that mindset that like, oh, the guy was being an asshole and controlling and obnoxious and condescending, because he loves you. Yeah, and we were both being that way. No, no, you really weren't both being that way, but okay. So, she's like, I realized that I like him more because I cried.
Starting point is 01:09:07 So, you know, it's like how I realize it, like I like being hit by Carson and Croswap. One hit me and I cried. And I was like, oh my God, I think I love that car. So now there's like more and more people showing up. It felt like a Bonobos convention, like a lot of Bonobos shirts or Bonobos style shirts coming in.
Starting point is 01:09:26 And then there's like a random guy, a guy named Brett, who's Kyle's best friend, talking to Kyle about Amanda. And they're talking about the stress, and Kyle's talking about the wedding and the stress. They've been too thick and thin and all this stuff, but they went to a couple's therapy this week and it was a really long session, so they're all good and everything's fixed. Everything's great. He cried. basically he cried and everything is fixed. Yeah, right. He's like, yeah, but these young girls in the house don't understand.
Starting point is 01:09:51 You know, I want to boy. So everybody is just, first of all, I think they are being a bunch of drama queens in the house. I think they're being ridiculous with all the crying and all of this, as if this relationship hasn't always been terrible But fucking Kyle yeah, they just don't understand it's like they're girls. They're not in relationships They don't get it. No, you literally say it sucks every five minutes. Yeah, so Kyle Now it gives a drunk and toast to his birthday. Yes. He's like
Starting point is 01:10:23 Thank you guys for coming out. It's been a fucking crazy year. And I want all my friends here and you're like family. And there's been a lot of opinions and judgments about a relationship. And, um, uh, and listen, there have been questions and there's some doubt. Thank you, bro. Oh, quiet.
Starting point is 01:10:38 All I'm saying is that you've lived until you've lived with your significant other and worked with your significant other and received 27 tax messages on the same night from your significant other and planned three different wedding dates with your significant other and worked with your significant other and received 27 text messages on the same night from your significant other and planned three different wedding dates with your significant other and had to tell your significant other to stop watching TV and to like make a t-shirt for the brand.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Just to keep, and you're just trying to keep the excitement alive. I just, I don't, I don't need to be in a gallery. That's what I'm saying. Kion, kion, kion, kion, kion, kion. God, was it that hard to shut up for two seconds? I need people rallying, not questioning. I just need loyal support through the wedding, okay? And well, I knew, like, I knew, and she's like,
Starting point is 01:11:15 Ka-yong! She doesn't let me speak. I think everyone's like, yeah, I paid just looking her lips and smiling with her eyes wide open, like awkward, but she's loving every second, you know. And I'm at this, like, this is not, that was not a birthday speech. That was fucking awkward. And she walks off and grabs her purse. Then you just hear
Starting point is 01:11:34 Lindsey go, let's take photos. I know. Lindsey's like, change the subject. Well, that was a fun time. Well, thank you everyone for listening. As you can probably tell, we had said this was crap is on demand, but we had a lot of technical issues. So it's not crap is on demand, but we'll see a bunch of you guys this week in St. Paul and Milwaukee in Chicago. So we'll see you on the, and we'll catch you on the next show. Bye everyone! Bye everybody! Watch what crap ends, would like to thank its premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Alice and King!
Starting point is 01:12:12 Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! Courtney's amazing, Shadel! She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella! Itch-o-s, Dan-o-s, Dan-o-do! Aaron McNick-o-less, she don't miss no trick-o-s. Havan-o-g-g-Ols! Dana-C. Dana-Doo! Aaron McNickles. She don't miss no trickle-ists. Hava Nagila Weber. Jamie. She has no last name-y.
Starting point is 01:12:30 Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Jess Sayon. Okay. Kristen The Piston Anderson. Wee McLeven. Karen McLeven. She's always sublying. It's Kelly Ryan.
Starting point is 01:12:40 Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burger. She's our queen, Marie Levine! Let's give a kiss Arino to Lisa Lino! There ain't no problem that Sarah Solvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Betches, Betches, and our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. Always the wiser is Allison Weasler! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She's cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Erica, 500 days of summers! The incredible edible Matthewsisters. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper! Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. My favorite murder, Karen McMurdo. No one makes us feel well like Megan Capsiwell. Mina Kuttyutikouji! Give him help, Miss Noel.
Starting point is 01:13:28 Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Kristen, the Ruby Rubano. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We want to hang with Liz Lang. Shannon, out of account in Anthony. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Let's take off with Tamla Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar!
Starting point is 01:13:48 We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast, before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.