Watch What Crappens - #1705 SummerHouse: Amandervention
Episode Date: March 2, 2022This week on Summer House, the ladies contemplate how best to tell Amanda that Kyle has said some hurtful stuff about her. Plus, Lindsay has robust eggs, and EVRETT is back!Get tix to our liv...e shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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man that don't love each other. They're just going down a path. They're in a sunk cost
fallacy
because they spent money on a wedding
and now they have to go through with it.
And that's where we are right now in some house.
I think they, you know, I think they love each other.
I just think they're, you know,
just people that you don't want to hear about their love.
I mean, I don't go, go fight over there.
Some people just get off on that kind of thing.
Every relationship has their different ways of dealing and some people love by hugging and some people love by giving
gifts and some people love by just giving. Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, and you know,
maybe he just likes hearing his name a lot. Like I don't know. He might. So we're still
in this SNM party. Andreas SNM party. And Danielle has just told Sierra and Paige that Kyle had told her earlier in the day that the only thing he has in common with Amanda is lover boy.
And Paige is like, that's awful. That's so awful that he told you that wearing an ensemble, he bought a full price. That is just so terrible that he had to do that so terrible.
Did we mention last week that
page says like Cardi B says
hose don't get cold and
I think this week or this was this week. It's later on in the episode.
How's Don't Get Cold?
And my ass like, well, now I know why I'm cold, I guess.
She's like, please don't quote,
quote, Cardi B.
I'll be half of Cardi B.
I'd like to say thanks for the shout out page.
A lot of Cardi B shout outs on Bravo this week between Gen
Shah's reunion look and page of Sorbo.
Who knows the target demographic. out on Bravo this week between Gen Shaz, reunion look and Paige Assorbo.
That's the target demographic. So the girls are pages doing this fake crying thing on all the ladies on the show
do it this week where they're like, oh, that actually makes me really upset.
I am not really crying, but I'm doing crying voice to show my support for my
brand.
I mean, I'm in this mother fucking wedding.
And if someone has to see something to her, it would have to be me.
And that's fucking terrifying.
And as it shows her crying over this relationship, it keeps cutting the
Kyle and his copy uniform going, is one of them.
And then the next one, she's like, I just, I have to be
in this wedding. And then you just seem like, I'm in the air doing this like, I'm in the
air thing. But this relationship, like, there's so much about it. And then it cuts to Amanda,
like, grinding up against some guy. I feel like the reason why she is crying and the reason
why she's scared to tell Amanda is because I think she's afraid to get the Hannah burner
at it, that Hannah got last year,
when Hannah went up against Kyle.
I think that she's like, oh God,
I'm maybe painted as like the unloyal friend
and like the asshole.
She's like, I just, I can't have that right now for my brand.
So, oh yeah, because that is tricky, right?
You're talking about someone's fiance
and that person's complaining about that fiance all the time,
but yes, as their friend, you're not allowed to say, don't get married.
You got stuck together like don't do that.
Or then they turn against you.
They're like exactly.
Take away our relationship.
That's exactly what happens, which is why they that that's why no one tells them to
break up. They just sort of hint at it, but they don't want to actually be held
accountable for saying that they should break up.
So, um, uh, page is like, um, she tells us that's one of Amanda's very good friends and
as a bright made who looks really devastating, who's being pursued by like two hot guys,
like what a time to be bridesmaid.
I'm just, I'm disturbed to a point that I'm extremely uncomfortable.
Amanda deserves better than that and by better than that, I mean, not paying full prices
are, uh, it's terrible.
And she's like, this is fucking real.
She says it like she's so shocked.
She's like, oh my God, I can't believe we're doing this on this show.
This is like real content.
Like and subscribe.
Like and subscribe.
Like and subscribe.
Smash that like button.
So a gay who looks like Whitney from Southern Toronto comes up to Luke and he's like, look
at you.
You look like Harrison Ford, mother.
I'm sure you'll call me mother.
I look like Harrison Ford, mother.
And he's like, no, I'm not Indiana Jones and denim, Dan.
And then Kyle goes up to Robert and he's like, so the last time we hung out, you had hair
and you were second guessing relationships.
And he robs like, yeah, the hair went away
and the relationship's actually really good right now.
And he's like, wow, it's funny
because everyone's gone to pinion
when they have a front row seat to a relationship
and even Danielle, I mean, I had a little flare up
earlier with her and Danielle's right behind her. So he's like, uh, that is what he's
like. And Kyle goes, wow, that's your best outfit ever. Whoa. Cause he's like that. This
is also Kyle just going from every person, like from person to person to complain about
his fucking problems. Like you just got in trouble for going to bitch to people. Now you're
going to go to the person who ratted on you's boyfriend, like he's not going to
go tell Danielle, hello. And also he's kind of a soul sucker because he goes up when he says,
last time we had you had hair and Robert goes, yeah, and I had a job. And he just completely
ignored that. He's like, yeah, you know, second people, second guests in these relationships.
Just go away.
You might as well be talking to a wall.
Like you don't even care that you're talking to me, okay?
Don't be that person at the party.
Yeah, and he definitely has been,
because we've seen several instances
over this season where people come up to him
and be like, woo, come on, you have any good times.
Like, well, I'm having a tough weekend. It's like, wow, I'm having a tough weekend.
It's actually does that quite a bit.
Also, I'm just realizing that I'm perfectly camouflaged
with my wall right now.
Do you notice my shirt is the exact same color as my wall?
Yeah, it's like back from prison.
Those are all those little papers on the wall
are what people send you.
Like, they're worry, man.
Hi, Gray, I agree with me.
I'm a floating head today.
So anyway, so then Luke brings a girl to his room.
In case you forgot, has been transformed into the red room.
And so he brings a girl and he goes, welcome to my red room.
Have you ever seen anything so amazing?
I'll answer that.
Have you been to a new glue?
Because I have been to a new glue. This is better than a new glue. I have to say. Have you been to a Niggaloo? Because I have been to Niggaloo. This is better than a
Niggaloo. I have to say, this is now, could you imagine a
red egg glue? Well, that's pretty good. This is a classic
Luke game scene, right? Where Luke shows us his game, Luke's
game. I mean, the guy is just gorgeous, but that game. So he
goes, he's like, you like the red room? First of all, don't call
it red room. We've all seen that movie where Jack Nicholson kills this whole family red
room, red room. Was that movie the shining? You know what I mean? The shining. Yeah,
we don't call it the red room. That's not sexy. Okay. The hot tissue. That the cast
roll room. So he walks in there. He's like, you like it. And she's, um, it looks like
a dungeon. He's like, yeah, there's the point. Do you like it? And she's like, it looks like a dungeon. He's like, yeah, that's the point.
Do you like it?
And she's like, mm, okay, let's go.
Come on.
It's like the, it's like a bonded party.
And this is still your game in a red room.
He's just like so sweet and minnesota.
And he's like, oh, do you mind if I tie you up?
No, okay, we can have a cast role instead.
Do you want to do that little hat dish?
Okay, great.
So then outside, there's a lot of gaze at this part.
A lot of gaze.
One's talking to Amanda and he's like,
oh my God, you could totally be the next Laura craft.
All you need is a little holster back here Amanda.
Laura craft would get caught in two seconds in Tomb Raider if she just walked
around going Kyle Kyle. The ball would just roll right over her.
Okay. Also, her name is Lara Croft. And as a gay, he should have known that. Laura.
I say Laura. No, you know, you said no, you I'm saying he said Laura Croft. I'm like,
there is like he goes, you are like Laura Croft. I'm like, I don't know who Laura Croft. I'm like, there is, like, he goes,
you are like Laura Croft.
I'm like, I don't know who Laura Croft is,
but does she work at Yankee Candleworks?
I don't know, because it's definitely not.
Laura Croft, are a Tomb Raider goddess.
Oh no, did you freeze?
Did I lose reception? Oh no. Oh no, did you freeze? Did I lose reception? Oh no, oh no. I don't know if that's a me issue or a
Ronnie issue, but one of us has lost, oh, are you back? Oh, but we don't have, I don't have your audio
anymore, unfortunately. Oh, I know why, because this Skype has a poor network connection.
And I don't know if it's a Ben issue or, okay, it looks like it's back, you want to talk?
Yeah.
Okay, you're back.
Sorry.
Well, you know, the perils of working remotely is that sometimes there's, sometimes the
internet gods say, excuse me, we do not like this line of banter about Laura Croft.
I know. God's like, listen, I don't approve of that game.
So, um, let's see. So pageant Sierra are now in bed. And of course, it's like, that's like,
there we work, you know, the bed. So Sierra's like, are you okay? And she's like, now I mean him to be like all the comments is lover boy. That is
like opposite. What did you cheat?
Exactly. Like what have we seen between Kyle and Amanda that says they just have so much in
common. Yeah. What more do you need? I mean, you're making money together. Sounds good to me.
Let's get married.
So then Amanda comes clomping through the house and she's like, where are my friends at? Where are my friends? Like an ongoing,
an ongoing theme for Amanda, the season is that she was just left
behind by literally anyone in her life, whether it's her friends or
Kyle, she's always walking to the house being like, Kyle, where
my friends, Kyle?
So, anyway, so Amanda is clomping through the house
looking for a page in Sierra.
So they hear her coming and so they just,
they go and run up to their mirror pretend
like they're in there just having a makeup session.
So Amanda walks in and she's like, hi bitches.
And she starts like trying to,
not really, not gossip about Alex,
but she's just sort of like,
she had just had this conversation with Alex
where he said that he's interested in Sierra,
so she's trying to be like, so what do you think about Alex?
Did you see Alex tonight?
What do you think, you know?
And she's just also that person who like,
all she has is the gossip of everybody else, you know?
She does it every time, she runs in, she's like,
oh my God, I was talking to Alex,
and then Carl and Sierra were
making out with the blind thoo. Like living vicariously through people that are making out with people
they don't hate. Yeah. And then, so then, you know, she has no idea that stuff is going down.
And then we see Andrea dancing downstairs. Well, we see if they're all just like dancing and
drinking and like having fun. He's like, ah, this might be the favorite night of the summer so far. I'll page as this little naughty outfit on our little little page
Little pagey pagey pagey, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie, boopie. He has sort of like a weird fixation
On like making cage small. Have you noticed that? It's creepy. It's creepy. It's so weird. When he keeps saying, you're so little
You're so tiny. You're just so little be it's for her. He keeps saying you're so little you're so tiny
you're just so little and I'm so big like okay keep your kinks yourself because it's getting creepy
at this point. Yeah it's definitely like little kink and because he didn't you say earlier this
season like beige is the littlest person I ever sleep with. Little little page. He's just like
it's a little it's a little getting a little weird now. Yeah so um he's like oh it's a little, it's a little getting a little weird now. Yeah. So, he's like, oh, she saw not ya, not a little barata.
Tiny barata, barata ball, tiny ball, not big barata, tiny, tiny bell, barata.
Tiny little, I forgot bumblinia, not bumblinia, but like, like Tiny little a Boryorise a little plain of a little little grain of a Boryorise
She is not even a rice
Tiny little or so
She is a quinoa
She is a quinoa
Tiny quinoa
Great of salt, great of salt
Great of flour
Youngs
So he's like, okay ladies, we go to red room,
you do whatever you want.
So he, now that's game.
He takes two ladies in their shirtless in his underwear
and they chain him to the bed.
Yeah, he's into it.
He's very kinky.
He's like all about this.
Like there's some people who are like performatively kinky.
I think he's like legitimately kinky.
So they tie him up.
He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, baby.
So then at the bar, this really, really sexy relationship with Sierra and Alex
is trying to catch fire. And she's pouring a shot into his mouth. He's like down shirtless,
you know, and like his bonded stuff, trying to get the shot. And it's just all over his face.
Everyone's like, oh, whoa, bad shot.
He's like, oh my god, I thought that was going to be Turkey.
Oh, that's a great Turkey shot.
Sierra is pouring that shot in like a waitress at 3 a.m. at a diner.
Like, you want to refill of coffee, huh?
Okay.
Like she's so just interested and so over it.
So then a girl comes up and she's like, Oh my God, you are gorgeous.
And she's like, Oh, thank you.
Have you ever been with a girl before?
And she's like, no, have you?
Oh, yeah, are you curious?
Okay, back on.
And Alex is just standing there, just standing there awkwardly.
And she goes, yo, square, get the hell out of here.
I'll say, what do you, a bully from the 1950s?
She's got like a pack of cigarettes
rolled up in her arm sleeve.
It's like, okay, Linda, settle down here.
Okay, and Alex is just like, oh,
should I leave you guys alone?
And the girl goes, scram, move.
Come on.
She's just like ready for West Side Story.
She's like, I had this reboot coming.
I'm already in the mood.
She just snapped her way to the party.
She really, yeah, she's really Officer Cropking.
Good.
Officer Cropking.
And so then Alex, then Alex tells us, oh man,
like it's just that the moment is never there
for me and Sierra.
I'm like the moment.
Linda just came out of nowhere
and just created a moment.
You got to create the moment, Alex.
Me now, there's just, you know,
it's like my high school career.
There is no chemistry.
Okay, no one is going to chemistry right now.
So Sierra then goes to Carl and Carl's like,
Oh, Sierra, do you remember make out with me while I was wife hold it?
Yeah, I'm not. Do you remember?
I do. And she's like, did you make out with anyone else? He goes,
I mean, just for the matter. Just for the matter.
And then this is where page goes to Maya and goes,
you know what, Cardi B says,
a hoe never gets cold, that's so clever,
because she rhymes hoe with cold,
which is almost a perfect rhyme,
but it's not quite, but it's so cool, you know.
Maya's like, oh God.
Yeah, you know why you're cold, Maya?
It's because you have not been making the cookies
that I ordered on February 8th.
And it is now March 1st.
Where are my cookies, man?
She's actually in a lot of trouble because people are having a fit because all these people,
you know, you go on TV, you talk about your company, and especially if it's cookies that
are not needed ever, that I know.
K-N-E-A-D.
Ed.
But still, I want to support a needed cookie. Okay. I ordered my $50 cookies. Where
am I cookies, man? That's crazy. That's bad. That's bad. Maya, we love you and we want to
support you. And I'm like all about Maya, but Maya, come on. You got to feed the cookies.
But you've got to feed me. I can't know that there are cookies. Like the best invention ever
is the Domino's tracker. We're the second you press order, you just see like Carol is on her way. You know, you see like
Evan is preparing your order and then Carol's picking up your order and Carol's ass is coming
me. You can watch Carol's car. I need that with your cookies. Okay. I can't. I can't believe
so wait. So is she getting in trouble? Are people not getting their cookies from her because she's overwhelmed?
No one, yeah, no one really knows.
She put something on Instagram like,
sorry, we're just behind, but she didn't really say,
oh, she said it was because of a technical issue.
I was like, I'm gonna need more than the technical issue
because you can't tell me cookies
and then I don't get cookies and then you say technical issue.
Okay, if it's a technical issue, I'm a guy.
Turn it off and turn it back on.
That's how you fix it.
Kwame came in and just destroyed her oven.
Like, ha, you talked to you about me on summer house.
I mean, summer house is, is the preeminent show on Bravo for oven issues.
That's true.
That's true.
It is a running theme on summer house, but, you know, I am looking forward to the cookies. They look delicious. I'm looking forward to them also. I want to.
But it has been, I mean, almost a month and that's a little not cool. I mean, it's cookies for crying out loud.
Hurry. I don't know.
I think you're here. Get here. I mean, that's the one. Yeah. I love that song.
But hopefully that's what it is. You can reach me by chocolate chip. You can reach me by stick and doodle.
You can reach me, peanut butter or oatmeal.
You can be reached me with one of the...
Wow, even oatmeal gets a shaft in an parody song.
But not oatmeal.
Let's say oatmeal.
Uh, I think you said chocolate chips, Nicar doodle.
The third one was,
stop talking about cookies.
You see, just stop talking about cookies.
You're doing this to hurt me.
This reminds me I did make a batch of cookies this weekend.
That I'm
I've been sticking to a diet for two days.
Remember still fat.
I want the steak.
Come on cookies.
You can make it.
You can make it.
You can make it.
By the way, there is cookie, by the way, there is cookie interest and and interest is,
is due.
So now I need cookies too.
So Maya, I hate to say you took too long, so now you owe extra cookies to me as interests.
I'll be making cookies now, lady.
Commissars, here comes one right now.
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So Amanda is the one who kicks everybody out of the bar now. And so that's just her thing.
I don't know who wants that to be their thing. Like, guys, and get to kick everyone out of our party now. Yeah. But look, Amanda doesn't
look forward to much. And she's got this solo.
We give her guacamole and the ability to say, you don't have to go home,
but you can't stay here. So get the fuck out of my house.
Also, I just want to announce that construction is start back up next to my window.
So sorry if you hear any hammering.
It's out of my control.
They were once probably messed up the internet just now.
So phantom Craig are texting in their individual offices.
They're bad.
He's in South Carolina.
I guess I'm assuming.
So he's like,
blue, how was the party?
It was fun. We all danced and played a blindfold make out game. And then I quoted Cardi B and everyone left.
Blue, did you kiss anybody?
Just Andrea, we made up for like a second and then I quoted Cardi B again. And then like he
laughed and said, I was like really tiny and cute and then tried to put me in a little box
So then Carl is calling Lindsay with Kyle Robert in my other around a little fire and
Lindsay's like
No matter when you call Lindsay, this is how she answers the phone. Yeah, I know
To me that's what sound like.
Waaah!
It's like she just walked into Quiz nose
and realized that she could have like a whole variety
of sandwiches.
Waaah!
She's always like parting her hands,
her hands are in the air.
She's always yelling into the phone
because she's the music so loud.
It's so funny.
And she's dancing with a lot of
other always the bridesmaids type ladies you know just like that corner of ladies at
every wedding that's like yeah going crazy.
So then Paging Cracker still texts are now they're not they're talking and Craig's like
what do you mean you made out like I don't like when you hook up.
It makes us look dot, dot, dot.
Yeah, dude, you're not living out your fucking life, so.
But actually, I don't like it.
And like, I don't like it.
I'm gonna go back to bed now.
Yeah, he goes, yeah, you know, you know, like I can't come back to the house now, baby.
You're so gross. You know, he's so lucky to be on Southern charm next to Austin and
Shep, because he looks terrible maybe once or twice he hear, but you just look like total shit now.
I mean, you really need those guys. You need to keep those guys by your side.
So Paige says, well, I'm pretty sure you said we weren't exclusive. So me innocently kissing someone during a game
Doesn't compare with you sleeping with all the blondes in the hills of California. You see what I did there? I can be Cardi B2
And then we see all these shots of
Sashon Medea like Craig,
such Christin and Eurlo right on the top of the mountains.
Like who?
Who's reading all of these articles?
Does anyone really care what Christin Cavalieri is doing?
Like, no.
Does anybody care?
Why does anybody care?
I've never heard about Christin Cavalieri doing anything until she banged these guys or flirted with these guys
or whatever happened.
I cared about Kristen Cavalieri in the context
of the hills on Laguna Beach,
but I don't care about her in the context of Summer House,
except in the bizarre,
and that there is this bizarre Kristen Cavalieri presence.
I do appreciate this weird Cavalier presence,
but I don't know, yeah, I don't understand why there's like
so much ink that's spilled about it.
Yeah, yeah, I understand the presence,
but you know, there are things going on in the world.
Guys, I don't want to mention I'm here,
but you might want to look around.
Okay.
Wait, there's things going on, the young Christian Cavalier
and what you's up to in any given moment.
Did I mention my cookies?
Did I mention my cookies?
Where's my cookies?
No fun to me.
Yeah, where are the cookies?
So now the girls are all changing,
and Carl's downstairs saying,
oh, burr things, or McDonald's.
What do you think?
What do you think, Ross?
And then it cuts up to page getting out of bed
to get changed changed and it just
says in brackets, sniffles.
I'll grab the whole of the page.
Oh, little pig sniffle. Oh, you know what I love about sniffle. It is like little, little
snout rocket. Oh, so cute, little snout rocket. I need to go back to this Burger King conversation.
It was apparently more important to me than it was to you. But Kyle says Burger King. No, Carl says Burger King, you're McDonald's Burger King. And Rob's like,
I would love some Burger King. And then Kyle screams, Burger King.
Mickey, here's it from a mile away. And is that excited McDonald's every time? Who are these people?
No, Burger King?
What is that even injected with?
That's just that smoking flavor.
Are you kidding me?
Okay, no, no, okay.
I would say I say McDonald, here's my full argument.
It's almost always gonna be McDonald's.
I agree.
But there are some moments that when you think to yourself,
it's a Burger King night.
When it's a Burger King night, it's a Burger King night.
Like it's beyond a doubt a Burger King night.
So I think for me, I give them grace, Ronnie,
because I could sense that it was a Burger King night for them.
Like, normally it's a McDonald's night,
and then Carl was like, glows, what's the deal with crazy?
What's up Burger King?
Yeah, Burger King.
Yeah, Burger King.
Because sometimes you want unarranged, okay?
The only time I've ever had that really happen
is when I've just drank everything
and done snorted everything I've seen
and the only chemical left to put in my body
is that weird smoky thing they inject.
I'd like to go into it.
Where you're like, I don't know what that is,
but it seems like it'll kill me.
I'm gonna go have that.
I mean, I love the Whopper.
I love the, I love, when I was a young girl,
I used to consistently order a double Whopper with cheese,
which is kind of crazy.
But I'm really, I come for the Whopper,
but I'm really in it for the onion rings with a tangy sauce.
That's really all it's about.
Definitely not the fries.
So, um, Carl's, so guys, just in case you're wondering what's happening.
We're hungry.
Hey, just crying in the closet.
Okay.
And Carl's like, guys, burger king's here.
I'm gonna go.
Burger king sponsoring you, or is this all free burger king's stuff? I hope they're getting sponsored because we certainly spot we certainly talked about it a lot because
I know they're making me want it now. I don't even eat meat anymore, and I want you get an impossible
you can get a burger you can get an impossible one. That's pretty good. No, no for me.
Maybe I'll get a burger king and just put some fries on it instead of the meat.
That's what I usually do.
Or we'll get the onion rings though.
No, I don't eat those.
Okay.
What? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait about onion rings. Okay, so we had some technical issues right when we were talking about Burger King
and having a very impassioned debate, but now we're back. This is what happens. We are having some
definite tech issues here today. So while they are ordering Burger King and everything,
yeah, Paige is, she's in her closet with Maya just sobbing. She's like, I don't know what to do about Craig.
Eh.
Eh.
And she cried like a baby, like an actual, like an actual,
like little newborn baby.
Like, eh.
Eh.
Eh.
And Amanda comes in the room and she says, why?
Why?
I'm like, oh my God, could you imagine if anybody was like that
with a man that when she was crying five times a day,
much, she just doesn't want her to cry really.
And Sierra's like, Craig, and Maya is like,
Paige, stop, literally stop.
Do not do this literally.
Do not waste your tears on, Anne Paige, literally.
He's like, I trusted you.
And I'm like, I'm not your girlfriend.
Like, you made that very clear.
And he said, I'm not mad.
Just please don't be upset.
I was just taking him back.
You would be too.
And, um, Syri's like, don't, don't text him.
Don't, don't text him back.
And she says, I'm not responding
So I mean next CC are going I can already feel it. I have trapped gas
That's summer house. Yeah, they're all because now they're all going to bed
She's like I know I'm gonna have trapped gas which is funny because she didn't even have the onion rings and then Luke
Luke is just in his room going,
you know, I love the red lights.
Red lights are pretty cool.
I love the red lights. Yeah, it's nice.
It's like what it feels like to be inside the Toaster Heaven.
And then Kyle is rolling, he's just wasted coming to bed,
probably smelling like a whopper, you know.
You know, smell just stays in your car for weeks.
And so he just comes on the bed rolling around and Amanda is just swiping on her phone.
I think that just feel like we've seen their relationship until the 80s, you know,
their 80s. Yeah, so the house is a disaster in the morning and um,
Craig texts and he's like, everything's okay. Look, I wasn't expecting that, but you also understand what it feels like getting that in though
See I just serious reading that too much cuz suck my dick
So now people are waking up
Andreas doing his hair and Alex is cleaning outside like a bunch of them are outside to clean and Carl goes outside to clean
He's like, oh, gentlemen. Oh good morning, morning, gentlemen. Oh,
we're clean.
Gentlemen, oh, all right.
And then the kitchen Alex is like a good morning, Robert. How are
you so, so, but no one asks Alex because Alex, you know,
just like, okay, we'll feel better. So then Andrea is talking
to Maya and he goes, Oh, hello, do you want coffee?
And she's like, no, do you drink coffee?
No, it makes me, you know, oh, it makes you, yeah.
Hashtag trap gas.
So then Carl's the most awkward scene ever.
And it was like, oh, I have dropped gas watching this scene.
I know.
So that's how I was like, whoa, what an interesting party.
The little dance party with a thaw.
That's so, I want more.
Someone was making out with me.
I'm like, spinning me around.
And I later learned, you'll see our all.
She'll be great by the way.
And Alex is like, I'm so mad.
As he cleans up, he's like trying to be all upset.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, honestly, one of the top five hardest things
ever.
Top five.
Did Alex, Paige is like, did Alex see it?
He goes, and Sierra, because Paige is talking to Sierra
about it inside.
And she's like, did Alex see it?
And Sierra goes, I think Alex was standing one person over.
I guess not my most proudest moment.
Like, did I like it?
Yeah.
What I do it again, absolutely.
Yeah.
What I totally, totally into it.
Yeah.
Was I really proud of it?
Yeah.
Oh, I guess it wasn't a not proud moment.
I guess I have no regrets about it whatsoever.
It's fine.
Yeah.
She's like, I need him to be more assertive.
I mean, I guess I was assertive last night with Carl.
And if he's just like,
I'm just getting pages just sobbing
in every corner of the house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So if he's just like, I think that,
because Dan, she's talking to Danielle and Sierra.
And she's like, I think that our best decision was not telling Amanda last night about Kyle.
So like, what did you say again?
Say it again.
And Danielle's like, he said that they had nothing in common except for the business.
So they're like, oh my God, this is going to be so annoying.
How are we going to approach it?
What are we going to say? And Sierra's like like can we just like bring it up so casually and page is like
Yeah, how about this? Well, I put on some bathing suits and I got by the pool
I'll just be like hanging out and suntanning and then we'll just like casually bring it up. It'll be easy
Be really casual and simple. I can't
So Carl sees Andrea and he's like, oh
Mr. Abanda, Jean, I'm so far. How are you?
Oh, he's like, oh, I'm so good. Did you see little itty,
pity tiny little tiny squeegee little page last night?
Also little and cute and tiny and small.
And there's a bucket where they're discarding all the drinks or pouring out all the cans and stuff.
And Andrea goes, what is that?
That he's like, oh, it's kombucha and Harpies.
Rijal name on the show and fact.
So then
Maya's ordering breakfast sandwiches and then Danielle and Robert are being like cutesy because she's getting him an uber
And so he leaves and now the girls are gathering outside
Which is poorly timed because like,
if you just order the breakfast sandwiches,
I think like, I think wait till after the breakfast sandwiches.
Like right now, you don't have food in your stomach,
you're gonna be even more emotional.
And also your breakfast sandwiches are gonna come
in the middle of this conversation and be cold.
Yeah.
And, um, um, babe, there's like, what at day?
Yeah, what at day? Yeah, what a day.
Cause Amanda's out there and she's like kind of in a good mood, but nobody else.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Sarah's like, Oh, I guess we've all got the Sunday scary.
So I'm saying, I mean, there's just like a long going on.
Oh, do you have, do you guys have things to do this week?
Yeah.
Like, I feel like I just need to like get stuff checked off the list
so I can feel like excited about your wedding. Okay, that's our cute girls. Go, girls.
So Danielle's like, um, are you, you feel like you're more in sync at home? She's like,
what do you mean? Well, when you guys are out here, because a lot of this stuff sort of comes
to a head and like he was like upset when we were settling up, was heading up the party yesterday and you seemed he just sort of vents.
Um, page I was under the understanding that this was actually your part.
I don't know why I'm still speaking, but just feel free to jump in any moment.
Okay.
So I'm about to get to the good stuff.
Do you mean that he likes that shit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And also like, um, we love the fuck out of you.
So like if he says stuff to the group, like we want you to know.
He didn't say stuff to the group.
He said stuff to Danielle who he thought was his friend
that he could rent to because every other week,
it's Lindsey and Danielle kind of paired with Kyle
while all the other like Amanda's with Paige and Sierra
and all of them.
So that's how Danielle's been acting
so far to me. Yeah. So she's like, um, she's like, yeah, I mean, we just, we just, we don't want you
to think that we're gossip about you. We're just merely talking specifically about you behind your
back and sharing information that we all have. But that's, that's different.
behind your back and sharing information that we all have, but that's different.
Well, I know everything that he says,
okay, okay, eat, eat, eat, eat, like.
And this is when all the cry of voices come in.
Yeah, that's a cry battle.
Yeah, you guys like no, have anything
that gobbin' other than lover boy.
And the man goes like,
but he just gets in a moon and he doesn't remember.
I mean, he says she when he's upset, which I know isn't right or kind or nice.
And then it just cuts the Kyle talking to Alex being like, dude, you eat so much.
He's like, yeah, well, I lose five pounds whenever I go back to the city because we eat like
once a day here. Okay. Like, where's the ground turkey? Am I right, everyone? Am I right?
because we eat like once a day here, okay? Like where's the groundwork?
Yeah, am I right, everyone?
Am I right?
Kaka goes, ah, I mean, I'm gonna shower.
It was like, soft.
So that's how Paige continues.
I don't want you to have to like defend your wedding
because like I paid your wedding
and I want to be able to come to you and be like happy
because like I want you to like me so like happy
A little tiny pee just pops out and drops on the ground
This is when they all start like repeating that they just want to be happy
It's like and sometimes I see you too, and I don't know if she is and I hate that for you
I hate that I have to walk talk to you about this right now
I mean if this was me and you heard my fiance say I have one thing in common with her
And it's my business and I'd be like why would you say that?
But I mean guys like we wouldn't even escape our own feelings because we're just to work all the time and then
works like one thing that was like awesome because he's like Amanda will you zero access and I'm like
no fuck off and it's like we're happy. And inside Kyle is like looking at the window and he sees
all the girls sitting around crying and he just knows they're talking about him. Like at this point
I mean it's gotta say something,
if you see a bunch of women crying
and you know like there's a good chance
that like it may have to do with you,
there may be some self examination that needs to happen.
So, I said, and he's like,
oh, I think the girl's talking about the girls
and none of the guys even care.
They're all on their phones.
Yeah, the economy, Kyle. Commissions.
Here comes one right now.
So then it's my turn to do her her fake things.
She's like, I've been in like the exact situation even
in and it's like, what if the hardest thing in my life to be like,
you know, I'm okay because I'm happy I did it because like, there's more like I loved him so much that to be like, you know, I'm okay. Because I'm happy I did it. Because like there's more.
Like I loved him so much that I was like,
I sacrificed my own family.
And Kyle's like, I'm gonna go out there.
My is growing now.
I'm gonna go out there see what's popping.
So Paige is like, we're not breaking,
we're not breaking, we're not like trying to bring in
this up to make for you to make a decision.
And then Sierra's like, I just want you to be happy.
Yeah, we're not against him.
I fucking love Kyle.
We just want you happy.
I just want to see you happy.
I just want to see you happy.
I just want to see you happy.
But not one damn tier.
This is all those voices I was dying.
It's like when a little kid is asking you for something and you say no.
And they're like, but just why?
Amanda's like, I mean, I know what a healthy relationship
looks like and I know you want the best for me.
Just like I want the best for all of you.
And Daniel's like, wait a second, I haven't done it yet.
I hate not seeing you happy
So it's like hey ladies and then there's a big long pause and then the whole group at the same time guys
Cuz like you guys have been out here for a while.
Can I ask what we're talking about?
I'm like, I'll let's, you know, it's like, they're talking about like clear
that it's not a new conversation.
Last time there were this many ladies crying in a circle,
people ended up burning a lot of bras.
That cost a lot of property damage.
I read it in history.
So just giving, they're just giving them the biggest thing guy.
And Amanda's like, well,
you said we have nothing in common other than lover boy. Well, we got a lot on a plate right now
and it's hard to find time for us and I'm I'm just stretched to the absolute max. And she's like,
but you take it on on me and it shows. And they just like, I mean, the date of wedding
and the piece of paper, it's not gonna change anything.
It's not gonna make you less stressed, you guys.
And Sierra's like, yeah, like it's just concerned
to hear as her friend, like some of the things
that are like, uh, sad.
Like, seriously, don't want things like that
said about my friends.
We're like, really for you guys.
Okay, we're really real.
I guess we just want you guys to be realistic and we know it's tough.
And it's so much easier to postpone rather than undo.
That's as bad as close I'm gonna say I can break up.
Okay, but just read between the lines there if you can.
And Kyle's like, but there's not a bone in my body
thinking of postponing it. No, her point is you've been postponing it because it's easier than just
breaking up, you know, but he doesn't hear it. So he's like, look, sometimes I'm brutally honest.
I mean, that's the nature of a relationship when you're like five to six years in. Okay, Kindergarteners.
Kyle, it's not really honest. You're just sometimes an asshole. It's not a great quality.
And Peach goes, let's go eat a bagel. And I never say that. I've literally never said,
let's go eat a bagel. But that's how upset I am. I would actually prefer to have carbs instead of
listen to this anymore. So Kyle keeps a man to outside. He's like, come on. And she's like, I'm going in Kyle.
Well, it's not like I was sitting here badmouthing you. I'm like, but you weren't getting all this
the point.
So, uh, he's like, I was frustrating and venting to Danielle. So you see mean herbal things
about me. And then inside Carl's like, you're all right, you're all right, you're all right.
You're all right.
I'm just talking to all the girls, you're all right.
Okay, now, hey, look right, Pada, you're all right.
You're all right.
You're all right.
You look, are you all right?
By the way, you're all right, Pada, you're all right.
All right, Pada, you're all right.
Amanda, you've done this all season
with all of your friends.
Like, all season, you've bitched about Kyle.
Yeah.
He did it to, granted he's an idiot and he did it to Danielle.
Yes, you know, who will love to stir it.
But still, I'm not sticking up for Kyle.
I think he's a shithead for doing it.
Like I've said over and over going around talking
to everybody, but Amanda, you're the same.
That's actually a very good point.
So Amanda saying, it's just shitty that you're saying all we have a
comment is lover boy.
And he goes, no, while she was talking about how you don't seem happy.
And then inside Daniel's like, it's the hardest conversation to have with
someone you love.
And I think she felt that and I know she has to have a heart.
But Kyle, we're getting married in like two months and there has to be improvement.
Like it can't be the same cycle all the time.
And he's like, oh, no, I'm gonna crawl.
I love you.
Good like I'm working so hard.
We're like, I believe after I'm working by a house long to like give you everything.
And she's like, I know about like there needs to be adjustments. I need to go watch page eat a big
goal. I did. I'll do what I want to do whatever it takes. And do
it. And I'm already crying. What else do you want? Actually, not
much more. I just want to make you cry today. Great. We're
back on track. So then Andrea is trying with page. She's like, oh, I love you last night.
That's so cute. That's what I need. You could I need baby, baby.
Oh, yeah. By the way, I was telling the girls. I said, I'm filming for Kyle at Watermark.
Oh, 7.30. It's a week night.
It's called. That restaurant is called Watermark.
Like even some pleasure, it's going to go to go celebrate has to do with the business.
We're going to trademark for drinks.
We're going to Watermark and then we're going to LLC.
Okay.
Copyright at y'all.
You guys want to get drinks and copyright?
I'll have a mocktail.
So I'm not allowed to get a mocktail.
I tried to trademark.
It's a certificate against the rules.
But so now they're all packing and and and page brings her own bag down from her room and Andrea is like,
Oh, what the fuck, bitch?
Why don't you do it, bitch?
I was about to do it for you.
You're so tiny little, eating, pitties like,
watching little adorable ant taking big rock down
from mounted, no, it's not right.
New little beach.
It's like, whoa.
And she's like, I'm a strong independent woman
who doesn't need a man right now
because I'm a good term with crag,
but keep the home fire burning, thanks.
Yeah.
And I'm now Andrea starting to feel,
like now that Paige is taking down her own luggage
He's turned the field. He's turned the field
Unloved and he's saying lately. I feel like pages awkward with me
I want to feel like I have eyes and only one person and she has only eyes for me
But now she taking luggage down by herself when she's so tall and steamy and cute and small. It's not right. It's awkward
I'm going to hug her really hard.
She's like, now, okay, God, you're suffocating me.
And Amanda's like, oh my God, where did you find my vowels?
So now Kyle and Amanda are talking in the bathroom
and he's still sort of sniffled crying.
And he's like, I know, I know, I know you know it's stuff.
And she's like, I just want everyone to be happy
and excited for us because they know how excited we are.
And it's shitty to see everyone so worried for us.
Yeah, why would that be?
Everyone's worried because you guys
are literally fighting around them at all times.
I mean, you woke the whole house up screaming and crying after calling them 26 times and breaking
shit in the bathroom. So yeah, oh my gosh, this couple. So let's see. So you can tell Andrea
is new because he doesn't have the season one away luggage like Daniel and Carl. No, it's no dissent.
I never mentioned it because you know, all the podcast, we all got the away.
And by the way, I'm not dissing it.
I just ordered a new away, a larger carry on.
What do you think about that?
But I think it's funny that they have that same one, but all the newer people don't.
It's like a badge of honor for season one.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, although technically Danielle
came in season two, but that was still during the peak
of a way before they had their corporate scandal.
So now everyone's leaving and Carl's like,
yeah, good week amount, good week on.
So now it's like city time.
We have a big city section this week,
which made me happy, which meant a lot of Trixi Monical.
Trixi's first song is a very powerful anthem that
goes, what you know about me, better as somebody.
If you like what you see, and that's it, there's no force
lyric.
Is this the song they wrote about Alex?
What you know about me, I got an awesome body.
If you like what you see, and then someone just walks away.
The end. They turned off the mics. So this is Andrea. He's like, look at me. I'm on set.
He's waddling for some crazy shit. Every time I see him. Some weird
strange like, uh, I don't know. Yeah. some a sleeping bag life jacket coat.
It's a weird, it's a weird look, but you know,
hey, someone's buying it.
Yeah, it's like a, some sort of like,
Parsons student, final exam look that they had to put together.
It's the next one is,
live it up, live it up, I'm gonna do this for Anthony.
And what she's gonna do forever, oh, get a
table for two, we do this forever, get a table for two,
yeah, got a table for two, I'll go on this side so I can
see what I'm gonna get. So the moment I've been
personally looking forward to since last week, Carl's date
with McKenzie, who many of you may know, or some of you may
know from Love Island, USA season two.
What a tweet.
Oh my gosh.
So, if I had just seen this show,
it would have been like, oh my God.
Love for us.
Lovely.
It's great.
Beautiful, nice, supportive of sobriety.
It sounds great, right?
So Ben sent me this clip of her from Love Island.
Yeah, Love Island. Wow. So the guy that I have been building a relationship with this entire time,
like America chose him to go on a day. Like, why would America do that to me? Like, and don't
they want to see people like trying to have a relationship? That's what we're trying to do.
One of the great moments, the clip is called Mackenzie Breaks Down Again.
And basically, yeah, America forced the guy that she's in a couple of days to go on
a date with a new girl.
And she was so mad, but she was not mad.
She was mad because she felt like America hated her.
And it was true, America did hate her.
And it was just one of those moments where it's like,
yes, we America hate you.
And you receive the message perfectly.
And she was like, oh, the American doesn't like me.
I can't believe America doesn't like me.
I mean, it showed also how phony those relationships are.
You know, it's like she didn't,
it wasn't even about the guy she was like,
but I thought that what they wanted to see was people like together, so like we're doing that,
like I'm doing everything they want.
Oh, so...
No, and that's just the first and the brokenness.
The brokenness.
It was just a tiny little taste of how awful she was on that show. And so now here she is,
of course. Yeah, I can figure because she was wearing what looked like a bib in that
in that scene. It looked like she was wearing an adult bib as a baby or like a baby went somewhere
and tied a bib around her neck. And it's like, that's too big for the baby. Put a string around it
in the center. Or maybe it's like a dickie or something. Or it's like, she basically looks like an angler fish
wearing a bit with blonde extensions essentially.
So she's now here with Carl.
She's like crossed over into the summer house,
you never saw him somehow.
And she comes in, how are you?
I mean it in one piece, because America hates me.
I look great, Bob.
Thank you, sure.
Yeah, you look great.
You know, it's like crazy.
Like, we got along great, no, but like, I don't know.
Like, I mean, I've never, and he tells us, I've never pursued a relationship with alcohol
or drugs, so like, I feel like I'm in middle school.
I'm not gonna lie.
Yeah, I feel like I'm in middle school.
I have like a kindergarten crush.
What can I say? I'm slower than middle school. I'm just getting younger and younger. I'm just a little boy. I'm a gonna lie. Yeah, I'm not gonna be a middle school. I have to look at a kindergarten crush. What can I say?
Slower than middle school.
I'm just gonna younger and younger.
I'm just a little boy.
I'm a sweet little boy, which is,
by the way, this is like classic Carl.
I mean, this is all, I think it's a very valid,
an interesting thing, you know,
like going through a relationship for the first time,
being sober probably has, is a different experience.
But Carl acting, like, you know,
putting on this thing that he's regressed to childhood.
This is like what he always does every season.
I'm just like, I feel like I've got like a little crush on you.
I feel like I'm in middle school.
I've got a crush on like on a hot girl.
That's what I feel like.
He does this every time to disarm people.
Yeah.
You know, fuck boys are a fuck boy.
Okay.
You're not going to tell me that your Carl, like what season is this?
6.0 or whatever.
I'm not buying Carl 6.0 when you're dating Bacansey from love Island.
Okay.
But you met in LA.
I got.
I got a lot.
Yeah.
You know, I love that you don't part it a lot.
That could be a real turn off. She's like, yeah, not for me.
You gently want to better yourself.
That's a priority for you.
That's really cool.
You know, thanks.
And then a drink comes and Carl does that thing that we all do,
but like when Carl does, it's like very pronounced,
which is that he brings a drink to his mouth
and he thinks the straw is where his tongue is,
but it's not so his tongue sort of flaps around
for a little bit like the straw like, thanks.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, got it.
Got the straw.
Yeah, yeah, got it. Yeah, someone gave me a metal straw and I was like, no,, got the straw. Yeah, yeah guys got it.
Yeah, someone gave me a metal straw
and I was like, no, I'll be blind.
Cause that's how I always think I know where the straw is
and I'm like, oh, I can't see Jesus Christ.
I'm like, who wants a metal stick in my eye?
No, thank you.
I would rather a turtle suffer than go blind from a straw, okay?
So Mackenzie says, you know, our first date,
we didn't even touch and you kept saying,
have physical touches, you're a love language.
And then you're just staring at me like,
can I touch her?
Can I not touch her?
That's my way of being like, what the fuck are all?
What's up with those mixed messages?
I love that he's love languages.
What's your love language, Carl?
Fucking fucking pretty much. Just being a middle
schooler. My love language is being a middle schooler. Carl's like, yeah, I was pretty
touch with you in the California. Remember that? That was man. It was all there. Yeah.
So she's like, yeah, well, I want you to do some PDA here. Can you give me a kiss?
Thanks America.
Yeah, she was benign in the scene.
I'm hoping we get a lot more of her,
and I'm hoping that we really see
like how awful she is on the show.
Like that will make me very happy.
Yeah, I mean, benign things still need to be cut out
in general.
That's true
The new song is I don't play thing. I don't play thing
Yeah, I'm extended fertility clinic. I know it's Lindsey walking into a fertility office
Like she get a cheat her way into fertility
So She's there to steal some eggs.
I mean, what the hell song?
So she's there with Danielle and she's talking about freezing her eggs and she's thinking about doing it for a long time
So now she's gonna do it. So she tells us, you know, like how many eggs do I have? Like what am I working with?
That's like step number one. So here we are. Step number one. I just, I just, I don't know, for some
reason they cracked me up that she needed to articulate that, like, what step number one is,
and that we're here at step number one, and she's like, at the fertility doctor.
So Jamie all comes to support her, and she's like, nothing like turning 30
fine and learning your exageria.
And Danielle's like, yeah, what are they like old ladies?
Yeah, do they need like a walker to get through the uterus?
No, do they like scream it guys for not making them sandwiches and pin taco
contracts to their walls?
Okay, that was too far to.
Step number two. The eggs get the
gun. Taco contract. So Danielle's like my bad. So Lindsey says, you know, okay, and she's
holding her pen because that's what you do when you're like super serious. She's like,
um, if I can stop my biological block and eliminate that as my process of choosing a partner,
then maybe I can find someone to sexually mend for me.
You can't stop your biological clock.
What the hell?
What the hell place is that?
Well, she thinks that place.
Well, she thinks they're just going to freeze your age.
Well, yeah.
Well, no, I think she thinks that if she freezes her egg, she doesn't have
to be, have as much pressure to, you know, find someone and like fall in love, get married
and have a baby. She can just like focus on the person. But unfortunately, you can freeze
your eggs, but you can't freeze your, you know, your therapy sessions, like you need those
still. So like that's gonna, you're gonna have to get through that too. But she's done, by the way, she's done great work.
I mean, look at where Lindsay is now,
or where she was in season one.
She's like fun now.
So it's only because she's single.
Do we haven't seen her with anybody to yell at this season?
That's just the first time that we haven't seen her with,
this is the first time we've seen her without somebody.
In a while. In a without somebody. And a while.
And a little while.
And a while.
And a while.
Yeah, a while.
Single Lindsey is a lot more fun.
And then relationship Lindsey is like, how many days?
What did you do to me?
So then, so she's meeting with this doctor and they're looking at her blood work.
And he's like, well, the normal egg work for someone who's at the ripe old age of 35 is 2.6. But your AMH
level is 3.6. She's like, she just starts, she and Danielle actually they just won the lottery.
They go nuts. Because he tells her her eggs are 28 years old. And he's like, well, we need
to look at your eggs. And she's like, oh my God God, I am a young of the ovaries of both apps in the page. I'm 28, 28, 28. I'm 28. So then,
then they do, Robo, I wouldn't be surprised if you put Botox in your ovaries just for this appointment.
So now Lindsey goes to do an ultra sound and so they're looking inside her uterus and Danielle's like, it looks like a pepperoni pizza and the doctor goes, well my colleague
says chocolate chip cookie.
Food analogies are very popular around here.
Although we're thinking about pivoting to pepperoni pizza because we've been waiting
a month for some cookies to come in and we're at this point we're very gonna need your ovaries.
Okay, it's gonna need your ovaries.
So they're celebrating and Lucy's like, oh my god,
this is a call for celebration.
I don't even know where to go from here.
And Danielle says, you might start with some pants.
Put them bum.
Let's go. I, most of you.
Now it's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's mom. She's like, howdy! And he goes So I need some motherly advice on the relationship front. She goes
Relationships, I thought we were past that point. Oh God. Here we go again
Come on, Kyle. You may be ski with the woman. You're getting married
So he's like, yeah, but like I know it feels trivial, but like we're six away from the wedding and like, we have bump in the road and now our friends have us questioning
our relationship.
Like, I'm just heartened.
Okay.
Some of these people are even in our wedding party.
Just well, you know, this is a high pressure time and, you know, take a lot of deep breaths,
drink excessive amounts of alcohol.
You've got, you know, you got a lot going for you.
You guys love each other.
Or at the very least, you got a lot going for you. You guys love each other. Or at
the very least you guys know who each other are. And so like, it's just, it's never easy
to get married.
And he says, when you were six to seven weeks out from your wedding, how are you feeling?
She goes, oh, you don't want to know, Kat. I mean, you would don't want to know. Look,
I was going topless in Greece. That's what I was doing. He's like, you're right. I don't
want to know.
God.
So no, it's. God So now it's
Just let's just pretend I'm your mom for a minute. If you don't want people
Questioning your relationship. Don't tell them all it sucks. Yeah, okay. Yeah, exactly. Yeah
So now it's call 39th birthday at watermark. Watermark. Yeah
I don't know. Well party and do they have any living it up living it up? Nope
It's true that's so funny so
They people are arriving there page like oh my god. I thought I was gonna be late, but I wasn't it's some so amazing sometimes
Car like big party big partner
So people are just like arriving and Lindsay shows up. Did you miss me?
28 year old coming in
Can we give love her boy a rest? I mean Jesus Christ did the burger come with lover boy to
Like everywhere they go. There's lover boy everywhere
So Lindsay asked how bondage night was, and Andrea's like,
I had fun, nice make-out with little,
tiny smurf of lady.
Little bitch.
Bitches, I don't remember doing it.
She doesn't even remember Vermont.
Because that's not true.
And Lindsay goes,
Well, Andrea, you're apparently not very memorable.
Ising.
Guess who's here?
It's Everett.
Yeah.
It's me, Everett here at this party to celebrate nobody's marriage, but yours.
Hold on.
Let me pass around pictures of this pretty big investment I just got a wedding ring for
another lady that's not Lindsay.
You know, it was not very easy for me to get this wedding ring.
I had to climb through difficult terrain and oh man, Ronnie, I can't find my ever music.
It was difficult.
It was a difficult time.
But I made it through.
I said I want to go to Zales, but Zales is closed.
So someone said I should go to Jared.
So I said Jared and he said no diamonds for you.
Finally I went to Cannes.
I said every kid begins with Cannes.
I said no every kid begins with E for ever.
That's what I did.
I heard that my girl wanted a diamond and so I did what any real man would do.
I called Leonardo DiCaprio and I said how much of them blood diamonds brother.
He said he doesn't do that anymore and I said I'm calling out the Gina. You fucking loser
Well, but she didn't take my call so then I heard there's some diamond a big time bigger diamond than you ever heard before the
Best bud diamond so I called up my friends Kermit Fuzzy
Bunch of the other ones we went to London and we went and we broke into a museum and all
those little muppets dangled me down and pulled me back up and that's why I got
this baseball diamond for my fiancee and I promised right then and there that
our wedding party was gonna be a bunch of little fuzzy nice skating around a flat top grill to the tune of Here Comes Ride.
So please welcome my fiance, Priscilla the chicken.
Yeah, so that was Everett.
Everett shows up to show off his new ring.
Oh my gosh.
Everett was looking strange, I have to say.
Everett is strange.
And Lindsay, you know, we really, I think this was set up to make Lindsay have a fit, you
know, on the same episode as her egg freezing.
But she didn't.
She's like, you know why I'm single?
I have the X of a 28 year old and I'm feeling really fucking good about that.
Everito.
Yeah, she actually calls him Everito.
I mean, she's really, really adds the Edo to anything.
Like, I'm glad she wasn't at the stage of her life in 1994 during the OJK.
So I'm like, and judge Edo Edo.
Or like decades ago when Tacos came out, because if she got that taco contract, she could
have actually named Tucky Toes.
She really could have. She would be so rich.
I know.
So, yeah, so Everett looks like he's like,
he looks like he's been through a lot.
So, anyways.
So, the good part, my favorite part about this
is that we got a montage of Lindsay
and Everett over the years,
which featured one of my favorite quotes from Lindsay.
I'm gonna go sleep at a guys house tonight
with a guy in a bed.
And how do you feel about that?
Oh, those classic Lindsay scenes are so good.
They are so good.
So Amanda comes and she's in a good mood,
because this is Kyle's big birthday night.
And Maya asks Paige if she's talked to Amanda post chat the other day.
Maya and Paige is like, I talked to her on my day and she's like,
I talked to her Tuesday.
So I think I have the upper hand here, so I'll start.
She was like, you know, I'm not mad at you.
Like, there was like no hostility from her.
And Maya asks if she mentioned that Kyle's upset with them.
And Paige goes, that didn't even cross my mind.
So yeah.
And, um, and so there's, uh, is this where a page that announces
that Craig is coming on Sunday night?
Is that what's happening?
Yeah, they ask her about Craig and he's coming Sunday.
And she's like, I mean, he said, I need to treat you better.
And like, I think that's a step to say I miss you
and then book a flight.
Like, I think we just went into a diff because we miss each other.
Yeah, that's like, I always think it's a little strange to be like, I mean, I definitely
realized I like him a lot more.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have cried.
And then like, when we started fighting and like, he got all jealous and he became
awful and became an asshole that just proved that he liked me.
And so like, I just don't want to jeopardize anything. I'm like, I don't always love that mindset that like,
oh, the guy was being an asshole and controlling and obnoxious and condescending, because he loves you.
Yeah, and we were both being that way.
No, no, you really weren't both being that way, but okay.
So, she's like, I realized that I like him more
because I cried.
So, you know, it's like how I realize it,
like I like being hit by Carson and Croswap.
One hit me and I cried.
And I was like, oh my God, I think I love that car.
So now there's like more and more people showing up.
It felt like a Bonobos convention,
like a lot of Bonobos shirts or Bonobos style shirts
coming in.
And then there's like a random guy, a guy named Brett, who's Kyle's best friend, talking
to Kyle about Amanda.
And they're talking about the stress, and Kyle's talking about the wedding and the stress.
They've been too thick and thin and all this stuff, but they went to a couple's therapy
this week and it was a really long session, so they're all good and everything's fixed.
Everything's great. He cried. basically he cried and everything is fixed.
Yeah, right.
He's like, yeah, but these young girls in the house don't understand.
You know, I want to boy.
So everybody is just, first of all, I think they are being a bunch of drama queens in the
house.
I think they're being ridiculous with all the crying and all of this, as if this relationship
hasn't always been terrible
But fucking Kyle yeah, they just don't understand it's like they're girls. They're not in relationships
They don't get it. No, you literally say it sucks every five minutes. Yeah, so Kyle
Now it gives a drunk and toast to his birthday. Yes. He's like
Thank you guys for coming out. It's been a fucking crazy year.
And I want all my friends here and you're like family.
And there's been a lot of opinions and judgments
about a relationship.
And, um, uh, and listen, there have been questions
and there's some doubt.
Thank you, bro.
Oh, quiet.
All I'm saying is that you've lived until you've lived
with your significant other and worked with your significant
other and received 27 tax messages on the same night from your significant other and planned three different wedding dates with your significant other and worked with your significant other and received 27 text messages on the same night
from your significant other
and planned three different wedding dates
with your significant other
and had to tell your significant other
to stop watching TV and to like make a t-shirt for the brand.
Just to keep, and you're just trying to keep the excitement alive.
I just, I don't, I don't need to be in a gallery.
That's what I'm saying.
Kion, kion, kion, kion, kion, kion.
God, was it that hard to shut up for two seconds?
I need people rallying, not questioning.
I just need loyal support through the wedding, okay?
And well, I knew, like, I knew, and she's like,
Ka-yong!
She doesn't let me speak.
I think everyone's like, yeah,
I paid just looking her lips and smiling
with her eyes wide open, like awkward,
but she's
loving every second, you know. And I'm at this, like, this is not, that was not a birthday
speech. That was fucking awkward. And she walks off and grabs her purse. Then you just hear
Lindsey go, let's take photos. I know. Lindsey's like, change the subject.
Well, that was a fun time. Well, thank you everyone for listening. As you can probably tell, we had said this was crap is on demand, but we had a lot of technical issues. So it's
not crap is on demand, but we'll see a bunch of you guys this week in St. Paul and Milwaukee
in Chicago. So we'll see you on the, and we'll catch you on the next show.
Bye everyone!
Bye everybody!
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