Watch What Crappens - #173: Kim Richards' Pride & Prejudice

Episode Date: April 1, 2015

Buckle your seat belts because there's a lot of ranting coming your way (but in the most charming way). Ben Mandelker (@banterblender) and Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) have plenty to say about the nasty, scandalous events on "Shahs of Sunset" and the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" reunion. Plus, there's always room for "Southern Charm." Pour yourself a martini and listen with your pals. You can donate to us at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends. Watch what crap ends. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens? Crap happens. Crap happens.

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Hello there, Bean. Oh, hello there, Ronnie. How are you doing today? Good. I was just reading our Twitter and people are still horrified by our Melbourne accents. And I was like, yeah, I agree. I think they're actually getting worse by the week. But, God, they're getting so much more fun.

Yeah. getting worse by the week but they're god they're getting so much more fun yeah it's like if there's like a venn diagram of a southern accent and a south african accent an australian accent and a british accent ours is right in the middle which is like a little bit of everything i think somehow that like winds up being like a philadelphian accent i don't know yeah there's everything my texas comes out and then now that they've got that pedoflora bitch there's like yeah spanish puerto rican i know indian thailandican, Indian, Thailand, mongrel. She's a mongrel. She's a mongrel. You can't add all those things together. Too much.

Too much for us. The collage. So anyway, for people who want to follow us on social media, you can go to watchwhatcrappens.com. Find all our links. Just go there. Just go there, why don't you? Don't be a terrible person. Go there, and you'll find them, and your life will be just wonderful. But of course, chief among those is our Facebook page, Facebook.com forward slash WatchWhatCrapHands, where there's just so much fun stuff.

We talked about this in our first podcast of the week, because guess what? We do two now. fun stuff. We talked about this in our first podcast of the week, because guess what? We do two now. We talked about the bingo board. Hopefully there'll be more of those to come, so that way you can get a real game going. Watch what crappens bingo. It's fun. It's all the rage. Go to our Facebook page to check that out.

And of course, you know what's coming next. That's the plug for Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash watch what crappens. You can support us. Every little bit helps. We really appreciate it. And someday we will make tote bags. And we'll put a phrase on it. Who knows? So anyway, support us there. It really means a lot to us.

And, um, Ronnie, did I take care of everything? Where you get all the bonus episodes and bring us in parties, darlings. It's actually a thing. You're not just handing us money for nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, if you donate just a dollar per episode, you get access to our weekly bonus episode.

We just recorded our bonus episode. Soup's fun. Today was about the new shows on Bravo. It was also an ode to Chantal from Gallery Girls who did an article for Urban Outfitters that was posted by one of you lovely readers on our Facebook page.

Facebook.com. It was actually hilarious. we did the whole article reviewed all of her outfits and her dreams and ambitions her new hair her jumpsuits uh it's really fun that bonus episode is getting so fun because we don't have to talk about bravo we can talk about whatever the hell we want sometimes we're just clipping nails, and sometimes we're getting super serious about, like, cereal and stuff. So check that out. It's like a whole different podcast. But in this case, we were talking exclusively about Bravo, and I mean, we really did go

to town on Chantal. So if you guys are missing some good old-fashioned Gallery Girls coverage, guess what? We have some there. And that's no April Fool's joke. Yeah, join us. Yeah, it's a funny one. But anyway. And also thank you to everybody who supports us because I'm actually, this is what I do now. Can you believe that?

I mean, I'm poor, but this is like what I do now. Because of you lovely people, I get to just sit around all day and be a C word. So thanks. This is actually going to support us now. We are like. I know. That's actually really amazing. And one time my mom was like, how can you support yourself?

Get serious. Well, guess what, mother? I am serious. I know. And one time my mom was like, how can you support yourself? Get serious. Well, guess what, mother? I am serious. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah, this is like the sequel to Danzig's song, Mother. Mother, I am serious now. You guys have watched my mommy issues come full circle.

By the way, another thing for people who listened to the bonus episode, there were a lot of MJ slider deliveries. Wow, a lot of trucks came through. Oh, my God, girls. Like April Fool's or what? It's like Asa was pulling an April Fool's on her. Yeah, exactly. Like every time a truck came up, they're like,

sorry, this one doesn't have sliders. They're just watching MJ bite her nails across the street. MJ comes running down the staircase. She's like, yay, the sliders are here. It opens up. It's just nothing but candles and a few bottles of diamond water. And Asa's like, aw. And then she goes upstairs and just as she gets up to her condo, you're like, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it's like the ice cream man except instead of a do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do it's like uh

i thought that was my favorite part where they're like anytime mj hears a thing backing up she's like slatter time she goes running out she's meeting meeting with Ryan Seacrest about season 18 of Shadows of Sunset. And suddenly, she's like, sorry, Ryan. Runs downstairs. Slider time! Slider time! Poor MJ.

It's not only her. They all eat the sliders. She's just the one that lives closest by. Anywhere across the city. It's just that MJ lives across the street. So that's why she gets the brunt of this joke. But you know, when this truck goes by Reza's neighborhood, you know he's running down there also. There are sliders coming. That's so Persian.

They come in a truck. Why, people get their sliders in a box at the supermarket. We get them by a truck. You know, Persians, we like to do it bigger and better. That's so Persian. Get them by the truck. You know Persians, we like to do it bigger and better. That's so Persian.

Gigi's like, I will not have any sliders because the truck delivery man tried to fuck me. That's right. I said it. The guy's like, why don't you want the sliders? Like, you put it in order. I drove them all the way out here. Because you tried to fuck me. There, I said it. I tried to be nice.

I'll say it in front of you and your other here because you tried to fuck me there i said it i tried to be nice i'll say in front of you and your other customers you tried to fuck me that's all so funny uh so what do you want to talk about today ben well i think we already have a pretty ample transition uh i think we have a segue right there from all that shaw's of sunset talk you want to move into the shares do i want to move into the shaw's or do they want to move into us yes all right well they want to move into us? Yes. All right. Well, I would like to thank everybody for not giving me shit about my tirade last week against the Shaws

because I really thought I was going to get some crap. I kept checking our comments and no one did. Actually, people kind of agreed. And this week, Gigi still added acting like a freaking rape victim, which obviously she's not. And I have to say, her friends are terrible people. Again.

I mean, I know I say that every week. But God, they're awful. Beyond terrible. I mean, everyone's terrible. Let's get something out of the way, okay? Gigi is awful. Mike is awful. Jessica's awful.

And the rest of them are awful in the middle. So this is not going to be a whose side you're on. It's more like which side is the worst at any given moment, at any given frame of the middle. So this is not going to be a whose side you're on. It's more like which side is the worst at any given moment, at any given frame of the show. You're all awful. Who deserves to die first, basically. Yeah, not Shervin because he's got a good body. Okay, well let's start at the beginning before

it got totally ugly. Reza is like demoing a house, doing it totally wrong and knocking everything off with hammers which is going to leave big gaping holes in the wood you idiot. You really want to reframe that entire house? You want to have to reframe all the windows? For someone who supposedly knows what he's doing, I know more from

flipping three houses, bitch. Stop taking hammers to shades. Yeah. He's like, what is this guy so much? We have to put in new window frames? What? We have to put Chevron on the side here, so if we need to take down this window there's not enough room for the chevron patterns that's so persian um i love that he

decided to kick his mom out of his wedding and he's telling his uh his little adam he's asking where he wants to have the wedding and i'm only bringing this up because adam said i want to ride something big and hairy and stinky, which was awesome. He meant a horse. I mean, he meant an elephant in Thailand. You know, you couldn't do that at the Four Seasons. The problem is that probably Bravo's saying, hey, you guys all need to go to Thailand. Like, you guys need to go on a trip.

We'll pay for you to go to Thailand. And Reza's family's like, no, we want the wedding at the Four Seasons. And that's probably what it is. Adam's like, I want to go to Thailand. Just my, you know, that's conjecture. They better go to Thailand because that's going what it is. Adam's like, I want to go to Thailand. Just my, you know, that's conjecture. They better go to Thailand because that's going to be amazing. That's so Thai! To be in Thailand, to have some pad thai.

Thailand are so different than Persians. Persians are like... Persians are like, don't give me any noodles, just give me some rice and get it crusty on the bottom. That's so Persian. Look at that hairy elephant. That's so Persian. Thailand? that hairy elephant. That's so Persian. Thailand?

Even that name is so Thai. Like, that's so Thai. Like, how about you call it Iran? That's more Persian. I don't know. That makes no sense. I like the idea. What are you barking at, dum-dum?

Someone just got a score on bingo. This is very, very professional, Bueller. All right, come over here. He's, like, slinking over here. Like, he knows he did wrong, but he couldn't help it. All right, come on and just sit at my feet, darling. All right, look up at me sadly. That's how I like you. Chef Penny, get Bueller some food.

He's getting tested. Bueller needs something dry and round. All right, dry and round, Chef Penny. Chef Penny, get Bueller some food immediately. Okay, so they're going to possibly go to Thailand. The other... Oh, and I also love that he said, I don't want a bunch of freeloading Persians eating my food and talking shit.

Which is so beautiful because that's also like every other race's wedding. Well, I was also like, isn't that the way the reunions go on this show? They get together, eat Bravo's food and talk shit was also like, isn't that the way the reunions go on this show? They get together, eat Bravo's food, and talk shit. I know, but imagine that times 30. I would love it. Or 150. I would love it as long as I didn't have to actually be there. But that's how Lebanese weddings are, too.

It's like, 500 people suddenly show up because everybody from the old country and anybody they've ever known or found out about on fucking celebrity not celebrity, but what's that thing like myfamilytree.com or whatever yeah or incesttree.com darling don't look there i don't want you to see your real parents oh my god one of our family reunions the t-shirt said incest is best because so much of us are born from that i've got toes stuck together i mean we have like first cousins getting married in the old country y'all ain't no joke you just want to make sure that you don't have a strand of cholera passing on from somebody to say it's like your cousin

Doesn't have cholera fuck him. All right make children with him My friend is a first-generation Nigerian and he said that when his sister got married You know people from Nigeria just like showed up like they just were like people It was just like it was just like tons of people just like yeah for RSVP. It was just like tons of people. They're just like, yeah. They show up and they've got a station wagon full of 20 Lebanese people and they pile out. They bring

Tupperware. That's another Lebanese tradition. Grandmas, the Sithis, the grandmas, all bring Tupperwares in their purse and they fill that shit and put it back in their gigantic diaper bag purses. Classy. So I see where he's coming. Go to Thailand. Because they're not going to be asking you for anything

at all there, darling. I love how Reza, on the one hand, is all about conspicuous consumption. Do you hear that noise? It's like the ghost of Reza's mustache is coming. He's like, what are you talking about? I have the windows open in such a way that it's creating ghost noises in here. Can you hear it?

Yeah. It's MJ. It's the ghost of MJ's slider fart. Refusing to die. But I love how Reza is like, on the one hand, he's all about buying a giant gold watch to show off all the money he has, and yet he's like, when it comes to actually using that money

to feed people, no. I mean, I get it too. I mean, I wouldn't want freeloaders come on reza's amount of money like he talks about all this money he's making but we've seen his apartment yeah i mean come on that's like an east hollywood 1500 if that yeah it's small it definitely is small mj has a nicer apartment than he does what kills me about these people they're talking about how much money they make actually MJ's apartment has improved a lot it's a nice building too

it used to be gross you could smell the dog pee from the TV but now she's done something to it maybe met a gay person also MJ is more enjoyable to me this year in general I always love it. We give MJ so much shit, but I love her, actually.

I like her, too. She's the only one I would actually like to hang out with in real life. She can be nasty, because, you know, she almost can't help it with that mother of hers. But at the end of the day, I actually love MJ. Listen, I love a girl who likes to eat with mommy issues. Come on, join my clan. And I like that she's giving herself over just to gaining weight she's like listen this is what we do we just get fat well she's done what the

girl from sweat blood sweat and heels did where she's like just be fat but like tie tie tie a really tight piece of cloth around your middle so you have an hourglass because that's pretty much what mj's done i think mj's look looks better than she has she's done yeah what MJ's done. I think MJ looks better than she has. She's done... Yeah, well, she's put all that brown makeup on her underarm. It's contouring. You're right. It's probably contouring. Yeah.

So anyway. Okay, so Reza and Adam are talking about their wedding. Gigi made a comment in the interstitials talking about how she's sick of Persian men cheating. And Persian men just cheat and get away with it. No, no, no. She's sick of it. She's making a stand. And then she says, well, first of all,

it's hilarious because you know that so many Persian men have cheated with Gigi. She's kind of a whore. And then, like notoriously, I'm not just saying that. And then she slept with Jax. Anybody who argues with me that Gigi's a whore, she slept with jacks yeah okay anybody who argues with me that gg's a whore she slept with jacks and i think she admitted it on twitter so shut up um but um i'm arguing with nobody i know i'm sorry but i also love that she ended that by saying for the first

time in my life i just want to focus on myself oh yes she's been so selfless when have you ever focused on anything other than yourself? She's just been, well, you know, let's not forget Gigi's extensions. She was going to help a lot of people with that. That's true. She was giving with that. Yeah. And by the way, have you ever noticed that Gigi's never had big, long hair? Like, why is she into extensions?

She's never had, like... She has very thin hair, actually. It's true. She has a very small bun. If anyone should have had extensions, it should have been Lily Galici. She had that big hair on her head. She had giant extensions. But she would talk about it.

She would talk about how she had all those extensions. Gigi is like... This is like Sonia's toaster oven. She just chose something that she sort of knows something about and said, okay, this will be my brand. Yeah, she should have a brand of condoms. Knives. Knives. Knives.

Knives and condoms. Knives and condoms. They work well together. Totally. Use a condom, stab your guy, or stab a hole in the condom if you want to keep your guy. It's like a whole circle of life. Yes. So Gigi has been hanging out with a Asifa in the apartment, which is boring.

It doesn't lead to anything. Well, the other thing is that MJ went up to Shervin's new house, and Shervin's friend was like, yeah, man, if you want chicks to like, you have to have a lot of Instagram. Shervin and Asifa. No, Asifa's the girl. The other guy. There's another guy who was like, yeah, man, the more Instagram likes that you have, the more girls are going to dig you. Yeah, he says girls like likes. Yeah.

He's like, yeah, man, I do crazy things. I posed in a bathtub full of Cheetos, and people like that. So Asifa's like, all right, I guess I'll do it. He's like, all right, man,'ll do it. He's like, alright, man. Just like this. This better work, man. Yeah, so they go spend like $300 on Cheetos and he takes another bath in Cheetos.

To be fair, it was actually pretty sexy. Not because of the Cheetos. Hot and a gigantic wiener, too. They showed it. I mean, through his pants. Shervin's hot. Shervin's hot and he seems nice. I think they through his pants. Yeah, yeah. No, Shervin, we like Shervin. Shervin's hot. Shervin's hot, and he seems, like, nice.

I think they're going to get rid of Mike, because they got an almost lookalike, but hotter. Yeah. And without a Planet of the Apes face. Yeah. He's hot. The only problem is that he does hang out with Jersey Shore type people. Well, listen, they've all got so much money.

Sometimes you just have to forgive things. He's got a giant wiener. He's hot. He seems nice. He takes a bath in Cheetos. Like, like so far i don't see anything to dislike as far as the rest of them i see my cousins at family reunions and i put up with their asses too and we have fun yeah it's just you know how much time are you willing to donate it's definitely an upgrade from sammy from season one oh my god sammy's still on it and some you know

sammy's still bringing it on i think they showed him this year too already didn't they probably and sammy's still um billing himself as a cast member of shots of sunset while he's showing houses somebody just told me that the other day well i see i still think the hottest was crazy hot. Oh my god, abusive Adrian Brody or Aiden, is it Adrian Brody, that actor? Adrian Brody knows? Yeah, he had that big flat nose.

But there was something about him that was, I thought, so sexy. It definitely was not his laugh, that's for sure. But everything else... Like Leah Blacklack. Or his attitude or his personality. But there was something about his body, something about, like, the whole package, though, together, that just was, like, oddly, like, very sexy to me. Hot, crazy, and flawed physically. I love a man who's really hot but has, like, one flaw that keeps him insecure enough to date.

Yeah, like, tall. Like a nose. An eye twitch. And then she, Gigi had that, like, 22-year-old who was also, like, crazy sexy. Yeah. But he was actually more, like, hot. I-old who is also crazy sexy. Yeah. But he's actually more hot. I actually find that Omida is sexy, and the other guy is hot. Yeah, agreed.

Omida is more like, okay, I'll buy them. Why am I saying that? And then the other guy is like, you could just take them whenever you needed to. Yeah. I don't want to talk to you like this. I took diet pills with my coffee, and I'm acting like a fucking crackhead over here. I know, me too. I'm talking like this. I took diet pills with my coffee and I'm acting like a fucking crackhead over here.

I know, me too. But Shervin, you know, he's a solid... You know, but Shervin just needs time and we'll hate him too. What I want to know is where are these people getting their money? Because Shervin officially has a gigantic mansion in Daddy Warbuck's house in the hills.

Where is that money? He is the CEO of a giant paint empire in Iran called Shervin Williams. Shervin Ron. Gas. He is the mayor of Shervin Oaks. Have you heard of it? It's where Kim rents.

He sells military hardware, you know, Shervin tanks. So stupid. He has Shervin and cheese. I was about to say silver. His brother is actually a very, very famous football player in Iran. His name is Richard Shervin. Have you heard of him? Oh, God.

No, I can't. You know I'm not going to get any football jokes. You just killed it for me. Thanks a lot. We should have just ended it Shervin Williams. Yeah, that was pretty good. So he's hot. He's got a lot of money like him so far waiting to see how he's going to make me hate him.

Because that's always a great mystery, isn't it? You know, when you like somebody, it's like, how are's going to make me hate him because that's always a great mystery isn't it you know when you like somebody it's like how are they going to make me hate them yeah so wait what happened between the Frito scene and the big barbecue I took so many notes this week because I was so scared to do two episodes I was like oh no we better have

something to talk about but then I forgot that we talked like half an hour about Shervin Williams no Shervin Williams Shervin Williams we talk like half an hour about shirvin williams no shirvin villiams shirvin villiams we're gonna be talking about one show for five hours okay the next part is actually my favorite part of the whole show yeah and that is asa deciding that she's going to be a feminist by bringing over some feminist author and then making the veil sexy and showing most of her naked body under a gold veil oh god you know i'm so mad so much offensive about what she's doing that i don't even know where to begin i mean maybe you should take a swig of diamond water it might calm down a little bit the pers Persian pop priestess's soul will enter your body

and you'll realize where to be offended first. So there's some movement in Iran where women are taking off their veils. Well, not just their veils, like their whole burqas, right? Yeah. And they're showing their real faces behind pieces of paper that say,

like, I'm free, bitch, or something. So she wants to bring that to America, which is kind of hilarious because we don't really have that problem here. And whatever Asa does is never going to make it to Iran. Yeah, it's like protesting Paris Disney. Like, that's in Paris. Exactly. And the funniest thing is,

so, do you remember last summer, I think I posted on our page or whatever, I was coming out of the gym, and I saw a sign that said, like, if you enter this area, we're filming for Shaz of Sunset, you know? And I saw Reza and everything. And then I saw in the preview,

Asa doing her performance art. And if I had stayed around, if I just stayed for 10 minutes, I would have seen this whole demonstration that she's going to do, and I'm so mad that I didn't. But the funniest part is this whole thing about taking down the veil or making the veil sexy,

it all happens in front of a Buffalo Wild Wings, which for some reason I feel it really undermines. On one side of the street is Buffalo Wild Wings, on the other is LA Fitness and Fresh and Easy. Martin Lawrence Ballard in the the basement that's where she did it in vegas yeah she did it that's that's where the street was like that's what they said they were filming right there oh my god you know spider-man was like passing by with marilyn monroe in their dirty

costumes like what a dumb ass you know the people like people at the las vegas seafood buffet are like hmm should i should I get another helping or should I see this protest outside? Should I get another helping of this plastic lobster or should I go see what this chick in a bikini in a veil is doing? It's like, come to DSW.

Come for the shoes, stay for the protests. And by the way, all these things are in that area. Okay, listen, what is she doing? First of all, she's saying, I love the veil. The veil is sexy. No. No, it's not.

Okay, I've read articles this year, actually, about women standing up for it and saying, you know, this is so women don't feel sexualized. And, you know, when a woman is walking down covered from head to toe and she can only have her eyes sticking out, it's very freeing because they're not subjected to men ogling them and finding them sexy they can just be themselves and it's based on their personality and i'm like if it's based on your personality why is your mouth covered like let's get over it okay you're using that because some man told you that and that's some bullshit that is oppression and part of being a human being is having people finding you sexually attractive i mean that's part of the

fun of it you know, and if you try to make a burka sexy, you know what's gonna happen? You're gonna have Chantal on the Urban Outfitters website wearing one and being like this is the linen burka from the new No Advice Collection. You know?

If only. If that's what it breeds, then go for it. That movement was worth it. But otherwise, shut the fuck up and stop trying to make oppression sound sexy. It's not sexy. Just because it's from the old country doesn't mean it's sexy, okay? It's like when you went to the old country and you were so excited to go to temple and then they made you go through the back door and sit upstairs and you're trying to write a complaint letter to management.

Bitch, what do you think is happening? That's what that culture is. You can't celebrate something. You're supposed to be fighting this for the women you're supposed to be fighting the oppression and making a burka sexy it's not fighting it it's making oppression sexy you stupid fucking bitch pay attention so on the other end of the spectrum we then had jessica trying on bathing suits for mike to go to shirvin's birthday party and what i loved about this mike's like hey go and try some bathing suits let's let's see what bathing suits which is already kind of like fucked up like why does he tell her to try bathing suits

why does she have to try why does she have to model it for mike which you know you might as well put a burka on her uh but so she comes out in this slutty ass bathing suit with these weird like cutouts and crisscrossy things like real like trashy. Do I look enough like other girls for you to want to fuck me at this party, Mike? Yeah. And he's like, yeah, this is good. That's really classy. That's really classy. I like that.

Yeah. He's like, oh, yeah, baby. Yeah. I'm like, in what world is this a classy bathing suit is this like where are they going you gotta hand it to Jessica though for a girl who's not Persian she's really

learned the ways I know it's like did Outback Steakhouse open up a public pool this is like this is not this is not what we need right now it's like the Zima pool party. I don't know. Let me see. Jessica's bathing

seat. Gigi is cutting Mike out of Facebook pics. That was a fun step. Here's an interesting this is funny. Past aggressive social media things. Gigi crops Mike out of a photo. Gigi takes a photo with her and Jessica and Mike.

She crops out Mike and puts a picture of her and Jessica, which is already fucked up. Don't go around talking about how uncomfortable you feel. Then pose a picture with the girlfriend and do this in a totally passive-aggressive way. And then she says in her comment, oh, I cropped out Mike because it wasn't a good picture of – he said bad pic of Mike. It actually was a great picture of Mike. And, you know, I rarely defend Mike on that front. It was a great picture of Mike. It was so passive-aggressive of her.

But, of course, what does he do? He, like, totally returns – totally passive-aggressive. He, like, downloads an entire app so he can, like, write a font on her face. Yeah, he goes bad pic over her face, which is more just aggressive than passive aggressive. And this, of course, then becomes the... This world war. Well, here's my problem with all of this. You know, that trip was a year ago.

They keep saying it was last year. It was a year ago. She's been hanging out regularly with Mike and Jessica since then. It's not until the cameras came in that she decided she was going to be a victim and start all this bullshit of not talking to Mike. That's why he's so confused. Yeah, exactly. Too late.

It was also so stupid for Mike to post that. Like, gosh, get over yourself. So she cropped you out of an Instagram photo. Deal with it. Who cares? And I like when they were saying at the party, they're like, oh my god, have you seen the Instagram, what she's been doing on Instagram, or what he's been

doing on Instagram, and Reza's like, I don't follow him. He's like, I only follow chevronfans.com. I just look at different chevron patterns and think about how I can put them all on the wall. He doesn't even follow his friends. Okay, so we're talking about every little detail.

So it comes to the pool party. Everybody starts showing up. Gigi comes in some big stupid hat. Mike's sitting there cruising other women and talking about how ugly their faces are, but their bodies are hot. And I'm like, you've seen your face, right? Because you look like the Hulk before and you look like the Hulk after and neither one of those is a compliment yeah so I don't know who you're calling butter face

little man so you know then Gigi hears him and gets even more offended and then instead of this coming out and just like a nice even a even a decent fighting way Gigi so stupid and gets drunk so fast that she just comes too early and splooges

all over the place and starts screaming that he tried to fuck her in Mexico or something. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Wherever they were. I don't care! I don't care that Jessica's here! You tried to fuck me, Mike! Yeah, and your girlfriend's right there, too. And Jessica stayed calm at first, and then she went into Jessica mode

where she's like, you better take off my microphone, Michael! I'm getting out of here you better get me out of here. Started screaming about taking her mic and she's not doing this on camera and everything. And I love that she's like Jackie O where she doesn't want to show her emotions in public but she totally is just having a cow in public.

Jackie O at least waited until her mic was turned off before she started ripping everyone's nuts off. You don't scream how you want to be classy in public. Screaming is not being classy in public. You understand the diff? She was so sure. But you know what's funny? This is also

a classic instance of girl-on-girl hate. Because even though we think Gigi is handling it in the totally wrong way, and we hate the way she's handling it, all that jessica knows at that point is gg saying you tried to fuck me okay and what is and what does jessica do she gets mad at gg instead of getting mad at her man who probably did try to fuck gg you know and

i hate that why do women do that like go get don't get mad at the girl get mad at the guy get mad at the guy because it's how the girl's doing it the girl is shaming her in public yeah it's not about the guy she's doing it right in front she's disrespecting her and making her look like an idiot in public i think she has every right to be pissed at gg well i mean everyone has a right to be pissed at gg but i i understand that yes oh trust me mike got his nuts cut off in the car on the way home i'm sure but the thing is this though like the the headline should not be you're shaming me in public. The headline should be, you did what to me, Mike? You know what I'm saying?

And then be mad at being shamed in public. That's what always happens on these shows. You're not supposed to be fighting with your significant other in public. So whatever she has with Mike, I mean, it's actually the polite choice of her to wait and save it for home. And she did stay calm like for a good solid five minutes she sat there just like putting her hair back in a ponytail or whatever you know covering up her slut suit with a pashmina or like whatever she was like taking a moment but gg just kept screaming and screaming so everybody could hear that her man was flirting and stuff like that

and so gg was totally disrespecting her and she's lucky that she didn't get her fucking eyes poked out with some bad gels. Because she was about to have that happen to her. And I would have been cheering that on. I would have been too. Don't get me wrong. That's shitty of her. And she's supposed to be friends with Jessica. And she's turning on Jessica in public and basically calling her husband a cheater in public.

Fuck her. I'm with Jessica. Kick her ass, bitch. I'm not saying that jessica is not entitled to be mad at gg i just always get like frustrated no i always feel like the man i just feel like the man gets off and the women get that's true we get sidetracked by getting mad at each other um and i just like the guy i think in this case that he's not going to be getting off actually literally he's not going to be getting off for a while um So then Mike gets all – he's flustered and mad, which makes sense. So then what happens is then Mike pulls aside like Reza and Shervin.

And Shervin is going through this thing where he's like, bro, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell you. I was really struggling. And then Reza is like, well, we made a pinky swear, and I couldn't break the pinky swear because you know the pinky swear like that's a powerful thing like you know that's so persian over and over again he was like mike's like he's like you're my best friend like i consider you like blood you're like blood like how could you not tell me but there was mike you don't understand there was a there was a pinky swear like homegirl made me do a pinky swear like i can't break that like that's so persian to stick to a pinky swear like homegirl made me do a pinky square like i can't break that like that's

so persian to stick to a pinky swear uh it's so funny and then everybody uh oh and then uh mike uh classes it up by saying that ugly bitch isn't even worthy of my dick yeah oh jesus and then the friends follow him down and say oh no you have to confront her confront her publicly or it's not gonna go away go back in there and yell at a woman the only classy thing to do is publicly scream at a woman and call her a slut in front of hundreds of people on national tv these people are awful they're all every single one of them is awful like he's trying to do the right thing and get the hell out of there with his fucking fiance or future fiance and then then the thing is also, I mean,

as ridiculous as it was for Reza to be like, does a pinky swear? At its core, though, he was right that they said, listen, this is for Gigi to discuss with Mike. And, you know, but they didn't,

I don't think they realized that Gigi would just prolong it. I think they thought Gigi was going to do it. Oh, they knew she was going to do it at this party. They all knew. They were standing around all tense. No, no, no. What I'm saying. And they knew she was going to make an ass out of him at the party.

They knew it. What I'm saying is when they initially did the pinky swear a few episodes, I think, my understanding is that they thought that Gigi would then, after this pinky swear, then go and confront Mike about this in like over, you know, days and days. Okay, I'll give you that. You know what I'm saying? But then when they went to Adam's birthday party and she was telling people and they knew that she was causing all this trouble,

that's when they should have sat him down. Then they probably should have broken the pinkies. But then Mike, but the thing was that then Mike made this all about, like, how could you do this to me? How could you not tell me? Ah, na-na-na-na-na-na. I'm like, Mike, like, that's really not the issue here. Like, yeah, you might be annoyed, but, like, it was just, like, really broken. I'm with him because, that's really not the issue here. Yeah, you might be annoyed, but it was just like...

I'm with him because he knows how it works. This bitch has been saying this on national TV now for four weeks or whatever. I'm with him. We're totally on the different pages when it comes to the shots of Sunset. We always have been. I know. I think I just really dislike Mike, so I'm just not going to give him anything. I do too.

I mean, I hate Mike too, but here's my thing. He's openly talking about which women he wants to fuck at this party openly like in front of everybody in front of the cameras you know jessica knows he does it you know she's no idiot and she knows who she's marrying so part of me is like of course she already knows that he's doing this and he probably cheats all the time maybe they have some kinky you you know, open relationship type thing. Lord knows it wouldn't be the first person in this town.

I've met so many people with weird relationships that I'm not even judging their relationship at this point. At this point, it's just like these friends are so mean to each other that they just take each other down on purpose every season

and he knows that now he's the target and it's pissing him off. Yeah. Well, the thing that was actually so that I thought was funny was that then so finally he decides they're going to leave. So they start to leave. And then all these awful friends are like, well, you know, like, he just left, which makes him look really guilty. Like, that's, like, guilty right there. And Asa's like, yeah, you know, like, he just left.

You know, it's like, you know, stand up for yourself. The fact that he just left makes him look really guilty like it doesn't make him actually look any guilty at all it makes him look like he has a little bit of common sense to be like you know what these people are awful I'm getting out of here yeah especially when his girlfriend is screaming and yelling at him that he better get home right now you know I was out of control I can't feel too bad for Jessica because she is dating some guy possibly because she can be on tv because she did bring her reality bitch this year. She hasn't really shown it yet.

They are married by the way. I told it last year that she would turn into an awful reality whore, which she has. So maybe she's using him a little bit for that but I did still feel bad for her because all of this shit is happening the week of their real wedding. Yeah, they got married this week.

Do you know how awkward that must be for a bride she's just gone through all this shit she's converted religions to be with this fucking loser and to be on tv and all of this is happening the week of their wedding well that's what you get when you marry a thousandaire that's right girl you you've made the wrong choice with that one i can't believe she even did it. I can't believe she went through with it. What a moron. At this point, you deserve what you get. Back then, when this was shot, I'm still feeling for you. But in real time, you're marrying a guy who put his face on a bus, openly ogled people on national TV when you knew he was doing it.

You're gross. You deserve what you get. And I hope you got a prenup, Fuji. Fiji. Fiji water. Lady. All right. Well, why don't we move on to Beverly Hills?

Yeah, I can't believe we spent that much time on the show. I just realized when I suggested Shaz because we were already talking about it, I can't believe we put Shaz in front of the Beverly Hills reunion. I'm so sorry. Yeah, that was my charity for the week, all right, talking Shaz for that long. That's never happening again. Shaz before Beverly Hills reunion, which Beverly Hills, ugh. Talk about deplorable people well now beverly hills reunion wow uh first of all recapping this

and these are the worst things to recap um when you're a recapper because it's like and then she said this and then she said this and then she said this but i have to say totally fun because from wondery this is black history for real i'm francesca ranzi and i'm consciously what do most people think about when they hear the words black history rosa parks reconstruction mlk february Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.

In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

Black is beautiful. January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school

where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. These bitches,

look, we always like to say there's like a flower of bitchiness, right? And when people first come on a reality show, they're really nice, and then that bitch flower starts to slowly bloom. I've said that many, many times. On this show, there's a whole fucking garden now. These bitches have bloomed into multiple

gardens of bitchery. I mean mean they're like full gardens now these women have all bloomed yeah there's been a lot of fertilizer you know that's why they talk a lot of shit and they grow their gardens of bitchery yes i cannot believe how awful kim richards has become she's become a despicable human being well i hate her now i used to love her so much and i think she's just a disgusting piece of trash now well that's because she's also under the influence of many things including jigsaw aka brandy well now that i've seen her in action both kind of brandies if you see you know now that i'm seeing her in action if you correlate this behavior to some of her season one behavior i don't think i think she's always been a bitch she was just more quiet then yeah absolutely it's

really it's actually very fascinating to to look back through the lens of this season where i feel like we are seeing the real kim richards at last and um i know that in many ways you can't stand kyle i know you feel like k Kyle is like an attention whore. Oh, Kyle's an asshole too, yeah. I know all, you know, you always, you know, she does this and this just for attention. But I would hang out with Kyle. But I have to say, when you watch that reunion last night, and you hear, you know, these sisters have not talked in three months, and Kim Richards says we haven't, and I'm very happy right now and you could see that look on kyle's face and

regardless of what you think to hear that from like your sister um is such a hurtful thing to know how much that she's had to put up with all this shit i'm sorry i was like i felt for kyle richard that moment very very genuinely i also felt for kyle richards because something happened with the filler where they put it all in her head. You're not supposed to be putting filler in your brain, Kyle. She looked like a fucking alien. By the way, let's give a round of applause to whoever did the lighting on this reunion for blasting these women with such light that every wrinkle and crease showed.

Oh, I felt bad. That was mean lighting. That was temple showed. Oh, I felt bad. That was mean lighting. That was temple veins. Oh, my God. That was some cruel, cruel lighting on these women. Lord help us. Cruel intentions, y'all. Cruel intentions.

Every liver spot, everything. It was all right there. Well, we started this reunion off as we start every reunion off with Dandy Andy going, Hi, Kyle. Hi, Andy going, Hi, Kyle. Hi, Brandy. Hi, Kim.

Hi, Lisa. Hi, Lisa. Has nobody helped him with this? I know. By the way, I think we have some reinforcements for MJ coming in from the sky. Oh, no. Guys, there's actually a chopper circling overhead right now. You're going to hear some slider deliveries for a few minutes here.

Andy's like one of those 7-Eleven dings. Like when people walk in and it goes ding. It's just like ding. Yeah. Ding. Ding. We get it. A bus full of people is coming through.

Get to the fucking point. Get your now and laters and get out of here. Oh, God. Hi, Lisa. Hi, lighting guy. Hi, craft services guy. Good night, Moon. Hi, birthday from Watsahatchee.

Matzah kisses. Hi, Chef Penny. Hi, Chef Penny. I love that he starts with a random viewer question from so-and-so from Bloddy Blah Falls in Watsahatchee, Matsahoochee. Kim, your acting career is just taking off. You've been in Revenge and Sharknado. Is Sharknado something that people are bragging about now? I think so.

Tara Reid stars in Sharknado. Yeah. And Ian Ziering. So, yeah, we don't have to go through this question by question. But what were the biggest things for you? The first thing, I guess, was that mean stuff that Kim was saying. Like, yeah, we haven't talked, and I'm happy not talking, because, you know,

I'm real happy in my life right now. Your walls are covered in child blood, Kim. Yeah. From your dog attacking Kyle's child. Yeah, yeah. Kim, I mean, she's like, I mean, I love my sister, but, like, I'm happy right now. Well, you're happy because you're on drugs.

Yeah, no kidding. And you have a neighbor friend. So the dog thing, I mean, skipping a little bit all over the place, they get to the fact that this dog, Kingsley, has attacked the child. And Kyle wasn't going to over-victim mode, because you know I'd call Kyle out on being too much of a victim. I don't think she was going overboard. She wasn't like, my child

almost died. She wasn't doing anything like that. She was just saying, we haven't spoken since then. And you know it's because Kim refuses to take responsibility. And immediately, Kim's like, oh, you want me to tell the truth about what your daughter did? You want me to tell the truth? Like, her daughter was at fault for Kingsley attacking her somehow. And Kim is sitting there just, like, foaming at the mouth with a huge fucking jack-o'-lantern grin on her somehow. And Kim is sitting there just foaming at the mouth with a huge fucking jack-o-lantern grin on her face, excited to talk

about what this child did to be attacked by her dog. Her niece. And, I mean, of course, the daughter isn't the only one who's been attacked. I mean, this dog is like that dog from The Omen, you know, protecting Damien. But I don't know where Damien is right now. It's Kim. It's Kim. Kim is Damien. It's meth-faced Kim.

Fucking meth-faced Kim. Why don't you talk about how sober you are, it's Kim it's Kim, Kim is Damien fucking meth face Kim why don't you talk about how sober you are Kim your face looks like a crumpled up paper bag you have meth face your chin has disappeared your face has sunken into itself Kim, you literally have meth face, look it up

yeah, it is oh god, Kim is just so nasty and she just sits there defending Brandy. I mean, Brandy also. Wow. She is her face. She's fillers are just out of control. I mean, this girl, she needs to dial it back.

Brandy is like now getting fillers into the top of her nose because the bottom of her nose had too much shaving off or something. She looks crazy. She is in the Jocelyn Wilderstein. She's getting there. She's getting to Mama Elsa. It is crazy. I was pretty disappointed at the other women, though, at how this all began, because they just

started in jumping all over Brandi. And they weren't wrong. They have a lot of reasons to jump on her for the season, but they didn't wait for the build. They didn't wait for it to be the right time to jump on her for the season but they didn't wait for the build to like they didn't wait for it to be the right time to jump on her they just all started jumping on her and you can't do that because then you make her the victim and brandy is smart enough to know that if she just sits there quietly by the end of it she'll become the victim and she did

well i actually don't feel like she came off as the victim. I know she was trying, but her bullshit is so, like, it's just so over the top. And it's so undeniable that even with her trying to play the victim, even if you fast forward to the end of the episode, when they're talking about the slap, the slap, the slap, the slap, and Andy Cohen tries to sort of, like, relate, like, sort of tries to, like, tries to sort of make it analogous to something and he says well it's like when you're playing with a dog and you're playing with a dog and then the dog

bites you, it's like the dog has gone too far and then she's like, thanks a lot you know, like I take enough pleasure No, she said fuck you she said fuck you, you don't call somebody a dog but she's so dumb to think that, he wasn't calling her a dog. She is so dumb and Lisa's going going it's an analogy darling she's like you don't call somebody dog that's just wrong she's like i don't have analogies i can't enough today without being

bullied by you yeah it's which is bullshit like because that's what brandy does she you say one thing she finds the little thing in that sentence that she can take from it to divert the attention. They even talked about how she diverted earlier in the episode. So if you say, and Mandy says, pardon, you know, like, pardon the comparison, but like, this is what it's like, and she's like, fuck you!

He wasn't calling you a dog. He was saying it's like the same sort of behavior. It's like, oh, God. Yeah, you think you're playing with a cute dog and then a bite too but that being said she is a dog that is actually a good way to put it um but yeah when she said fuck you it really even my opinion of andy look like he seems like he's so nice you know and look we have fun in real life but his he just sucks on these he He sucks at his job. When she says, fuck you, he's the boss and the host.

And he's like, no, but what I meant was, no, are you mad? But what I meant was, no, Brandy,

I didn't mean that. Like, what are you worried about that? You're not going to be invited to some party at a rental house in the fucking hills of the Valley that like, he's like Adrian Maloof is donating red velvet cake vodka for like, what are you worried about? Andy? Like you need to tell that bitch

to walk the fuck off the stage, have security escort her out until she can learn to not say fuck you to the fucking boss. What world do we live in that you get to just say fuck you to your boss? Yeah, and he's like, no, I was supporting you. I was actually supporting you. It's actually a support. I was like, no, actually it wasn't.

It wasn't, but also even if he did mean it in a supportive way, why are you trying to support her? She's slapping people. Yeah. Why are you trying to make it better because you like some bitch? Like, he likes the most awful people. He loves Adriana from Miami. He loves, you know, the first one to ever use violence, like physical violence on the show.

He loves all the most awful people. He just wants to surround himself with these evil evil awful people i don't get it well one thing that i was very happy about to go to the slap was i love how you know and brandy was like it was playful we were just joking so it's a slap that's all and then i loved that everyone jumped in and was like, listen, well, you know, you're like, because Brandy at the same time is saying that Kyle was assaulting her when she pushed her hand down. And it's like, how could you say it's just a joke in one situation? And then on the other, it's like, I don't condone violence. And this is the woman who threw wine in someone's face and did a playful slap.

It's like, that's the thing I hate about Brandy. She's so self-serving with her arguments. This is the woman who threw wine in someone's face and did a playful slap. It's like, that's the thing I hate about Brandy. She's so self-serving with her arguments. You know, she, you know, how could she say that? She's just terrible at arguing. And that's the reason that her ass ended up shopping at Walmart after divorcing a fucking TV star. Okay, that's why she got no money. She has no arguing skills she should have been in a freaking gigantic house it was paid for with tons of money instead of whoring herself out on reality shows you know she's married to

eddie simrion that guy's not broke and he's married to leanne she should have tons of money if she really knew how to state her case she would be wealthy right now and sitting around playing with her children but instead she's a stupid hoe who's got to make trouble and drama and she's poor and shopping yeah and she and she and she always goes to the jugular i mean i thought it was i thought it was kind of poor of lisa vanderpump to get into the mix about whether or not brandy had sex with that kid um because it's like lisa that's so beneath you like you don't need to argue about who cares um and it just all it does is get you into he said she said fight with brandy and of course then you know lisa a lot of the comments today have been about lisa's behavior and i you know i always stand up for lisa

and i know that it's fucking obnoxious but um last year i thought she was being a fucking idiot if that helps but this year you know i kind of am with lisa where she's just been taken to the point you know a lot of people have been giving where she's just been taken to the point you know a lot of people have been giving her shit about what she said about the parents like when she said why would i call her i don't i barely even know her father yeah you know that was mean like she could have at least sent a text because the classy thing to do if you have manners would be to send a text but then on the other hand brandy would have taken that as oh we're friends again because lisa texted me and so now i can I can try and start filming scenes with her.

I think Lisa's just been taken to the point where she's over, or when they're saying, oh, well, her parents, when she said I blamed the parents, and Lisa's like, well, I was joking, darling. Well, I agree that that was a joke, but you also do hate Brandy, and it also is the parents' fault.

Yeah, it is. Well, I think that Lisa is damned if you do, damned if you don't about sending a text. Because if she sent a text, Brandy would have been like, it's so fake. You know, da-da-da-da. And in fact, the whole reason why Lisa

pulled Brandy aside at that party was to say, hey, I heard about your father. I'm so sorry. It's like, she was doing it then. That, you know, like, some people like to do those things in person. They don't want, she probably was thinking,

I'm going to see her at this party tonight. I'll tell her then. You know what I'm saying? She was damned if she did, damned if she didn't. Brandy was going to get mad at her no matter what. Lisa is legit. Lisa has been legit insensitive with Brandy and a lot of

this stuff going on in Brandy's life. Brandy is sitting there trying to use her father's heart attack to gain sympathy. She doesn't go see her father she just wears some like semi-topless outfit that she's fake crying in at parties like while she's getting wasted and screaming at people i'm just not buying it and frankly i don't feel bad for brandy i mean a house could fall on brandy and i would be like you know poor house i hope the foundation didn't crack because that's going to be hard to resell she's a bitch and you know and don't forget the context of all this this is all in the wake of the fact that last year brandy gathered all the housewives together

and tried to take down lisa vanderbilt tried to like remove all her friends like totally came at her in puerto rico after that lisa had been so friendly to brandy had taken her in and whatever so not only that but got her on the show she wouldn't have been on that show if it weren't for lisa befriending her no one else would even speak with her so like then when lisa was talking about like all the slights that brandy had done you know lisa was talking about the stupid thing where brandy said you've slept with half the people whatever and lisa kept on harping on that comment, that joke. She said, well, you put it out there, which I get.

But really, the truth is, the real thing you have to remember is that this is a woman, Brandy, who totally tried to do something extremely malicious last season. Extremely malicious. So, you know, what does she expect? What is she expecting from Lisa? And, you know, and again, what is she expecting from lisa and you know and again anything lisa does disgusting victim mode and you know to bring the dog analogy back you adopt a dog who is about to get killed you give it all this love and affection you train

it it sleeps in your bed you feed it you get all the ticks and everything off of it you make it a happy dog and then it bites your face off and what do you do do you do you try and take it back do you try and work with it no you have it put down okay rabid bitches need to just be put down there is no fixing someone as broken as that okay you can try and glue a teacup back together but chances are you're going to be pooping out blood well you know it's like you know they keep saying well lisa knows how to hold on to a grudge this knows how this isn't a grudge this is you fucked up the friendship you fucked up the friendship brandy and that's just that you're just it's never gonna be the same you come to my house and you

steal some weed you honestly think that shit's not gonna be hidden under my bed next time you come over come on now i'm not stupid yeah and then well the thing is with what to get back to the to the dutch guy um you know i think um uh brandy the whole reason why i think it came up in the reunion was that brandy was like you were saying rude things about that kid whatever and lisa didn't say anything that was rude lisa was just like shocked that this is her son's friend and brandy was going after him like i don't think it was and lisa would have said that stuff even if they were friends because it's true and it's funny it is funny that brandy's stuff even if they were friends because it's true. And it's funny. It is funny that Brandy's like so desperate to stay young that she's fucking some child that grew up with Max and Lisa knew when he was seven years old.

And the fact that this kid came to Lisa and said, well, I didn't sleep with her. She was too drunk. That doesn't sound like a lie. Why would Lisa make that up? Yeah, I actually. Yeah, I agree. I mean, I don't know what he's like. Oh, well and now maybe

the kid's lying because he didn't want lisa to be disappointed in him exactly which i think probably is the truth but also how sad and desperate for brandy be like well no well i fucked him i did fuck him i did fuck him twice in a row two nights two nights in a row it's like okay brandy okay congratulations congrats brandy you did it and i like that brandy tells andy well you you fuck children before and he's like hell yeah go girl classy i know it was so i know that's the same thing i was like oh this is so so you know beyond and he's doing it for the same reason you do it to not feel old and disgusting okay yeah jesus get a job meanwhile another thing that happened um they were talking about brandy being a mean drunk and aileen stated her case very well which

was like listen all i can go off you know you may be fine elsewhere but all i can go off is what i see from you and when i see you you're just like a mean drunk who's out of control and brandy's like well no i don't agree it's like bitch have you seen your footage um she's like well we all get drunk and i mean all of us drink i mean i don't even get drunk in my real life i just get drunk because these women are so horrible uh yeah i've seen you falling down in public more than twice yeah well because first she's like i have to drink to deal with these women and then she changed it to well whenever everyone's having a drink am i not allowed to have a drink i'm like that's not what you said originally originally said you had to drink to deal with them and you know when you drink as a coping mechanism

you know what that might be that might be a first sign of alcoholism oh that's a strong word ben don't say that look i've said it many times and i'll say it again you have the right to be an addict we are in la you want to be a meth head? You want to be a drunk? Go for it. That's totally your choice. It only becomes a problem when you start A, stealing from people,

B, victimizing people, or C, blaming everybody else for your fucking problems. That is your problem. Own it. Snort it. Fuck it. Inject it.

I don't care. Smoke it. Do whatever you want, but don't blame me for your fucking problem. That's your problem. The real underlying issue here, which is not really being said, which is that she wants it both ways. She wants to party and everything, but she also wants to keep her kids. And she wants to be on TV. And so she knows that if she gets labeled as an alcoholic, she could probably lose her kids.

And she doesn't want to do that. Yet she doesn't want to stop being on TV. So rather than stop the drinking. I think she drinks too much in public. The reason I drink in public and make an ass out of myself in public. Because I'm sure you're all shocked that I would do that. I do it because I am low energy. I don't always feel like being around people and drinking makes me feel less awkward

and more socially available. Like I talk more. I'm happier. It makes my dopamine levels raise. I mean the same reason anybody drinks at parties because it makes us feel better. And I get it. I get that that's

what she's doing but she's not eating obviously. And I get it. I get that that's what she's doing, but she's not eating, obviously. And to call anybody else an anorexic with knees that are clanking together because there's no flesh there, bitch please. But she's not eating. She's obviously got some issues there. And she's drinking a lot. And she makes a damn fool of herself. Right. And I'm sure, by the way, I'm sure the producers feed them all alcohol.

They probably have like a hamster bottle full of vodka for all these women to get them to loosen up and be crazy. Totally. But why is Brandy – Get a shot of vodka up your bum. It will make you drunker. Right. But like why is Brandy – why is she so above and beyond? You know, like why is she – like she's the one who's throwing the wine in people's face.

Although, I mean, Lisa Rinna did throw a glass, you know. But you know what I'm she the like she's the one who's throwing the wine in people's face and although i mean lisa renna did throw a glass you know but but you know what i'm saying i don't care she threw it on the ground or the table or something they're making it sound like she broke a bottle and tried to cut their throats with it give me a break brandy's wine toss came out of nowhere and it was like totally socially tone deaf at least lisa's was in the was in the context of a huge fight yeah at, at least Lisa had a reason. Yeah, exactly. I can understand violence when there's a reason, but just walking into a target and starting to stab people makes no sense,

but killing your husband who cheated on you makes total sense. So how about the most passive-aggressive segment of the hour, which was Lisa Rinna and Kim Richards talking about various gigs they have had in recent memory. Oh, my God. When Kim is sitting there judging Lisa Rinna for being desperate. Oh, gosh. And this is the same woman who appeared at that crazy convention last year where someone gave her, like, an earring or something. Oh, God. Where she got paid to sign autographs for, like, trailer.

Oh, no. And then Kim is saying, Andy's like, would you do anything for a buck? And Kim's like, no. She's like, I'd do anything for some cocaine. She literally said, I have a little more pride than you, Lisa. And Andy goes, you did Diving with the Stars. And she's like, ah. So then she tries to like laugh it off.

And then Lisa amazingly goes, you know, it's funny because i they i actually did turn down diving with the stars yeah so i do turn down some things and then she's like oh please you were on the singing thing the dancing thing well dancing with the stars is actually a very highly rated show so that's actually really the same thing and it actually gave a huge boost to Lisa Rinna's career didn't she have a talk show after that or something like that like she did her depend shit after that Lisa Rinna does not need to apologize every one of these bitches are desperate

that's why they're on a reality show yeah exactly why the hell else do you do a housewife show because your career is going well oh watch out Julia Roberts is the next new housewife no Sandra Bullock ain't gonna be a housewife. They have real careers, Kim. You have no pride, meth face.

Get your... Drink some water, Kim. Yeah, no. I mean, it was... But the best part was how they were sort of laughing their way through that segment, you know? It was like this very veiled attempt to make it seem like

we're just like taking some humorous jabs at each other everybody else could laugh at her but Kim could not keep her I mean Kim she tried to talking an anecdote about running into Terrell Owens oh yeah but I know famous people

when they when Andy's like Madagascar from windy city falls ireland wants to know why you're so damn skinny and then the the way that it's phrased is honey don't you need a sandwich i'm like first of all fat ladies stop calling everybody else anorexic because you know who calls people too skinny fat people okay there's no skinny person on earth who says oh my god you're too thin it's called sticking to an eating plan okay and even if she is anorexic it's called dedication you fat bitch stop writing people that they're so

skinny you know if anybody calls you fat you're it's like fat shaming and body shaming i'm so sick of that shit with fat people like oh and i am a fat, by the way. But I'm so sick of everybody being like, oh, you're so skinny. Eat a sandwich. How about you stop fucking eating sandwiches so you can stop writing bitter tweets to people that you don't even know. Bertha from Masahuchi Trailer Park. Fat face. Stop it.

And then Lisa goes into defensive mode and she's like, well, first of all, I wish you would have just said, because she said in the past, I work out and I hardly eat and that's why I'm thin. It's hard because that's an honest answer. She's like, well, you know, my dad is dying of cancer or something and he's

in the hospital. Then they show Kim smiling like a jack-o'-lantern and nodding while Lisa's talking about her father dying, just waiting to make some fucking anorexic joke at her. Kim, just fucking, if you're gonna stay, I'm not gonna say what I was

about to say, because even I have limits. Darling. Even I can stop myself occasionally. Darling, do not make me that salmon mousse and tartare. I have limits, darling. Chef Penny, no. Throw that out in the planter.

Too much. One truffle is a wonderful night. Five truffles and I'm a pig, darling. Darling, how many wine poached pears do you think I can eat? That's enough. Three is enough. Chef Penny, stop it. Oh, okay.

Yeah, so that's enough of that. But really, really gross. Kim, Kim. Kim is actually the grossest one, I have to say. And Brandy was pretty gross at this reunion. Well, it's weird because I think Brandy is the grossest. But the thing with Kim is, the thing with her grossness is that you know that it's just been this awful thing that has been there for a few decades. And it is, like, it breathes off breathes off of acrimony with Kyle.

And that sort of makes it really gross and disgusting. But then Brandy is just the worst. Well, it's got to suck for Kim. You know, she becomes this huge movie star, and she's one of the biggest child stars in the country for years. And then her sister, who really actually had to do sitcom work which back then was not fun like it is now you know now people movie stars do tv but back then it was like ew gross you're on a team show about a dead you know probably paying all the bills at that

point um and it must kill kim just to see kyle find a semi-hot mouth-breathing husband who's like the number one real estate agent in the country. I mean, they have some really complicated issues, which I find fascinating, although it's sort of a shame. They're not that complicated. Jealousy and addiction. I mean, it's pretty simple. Everybody's issues are pretty much the same when you boil it down to bare bones.

I think they've got complicated issues about pressures that were put on Kim to support a family. And then her rise to fame. And then her fall. And then Kyle is now more successful. And Kyle's taking care of her. And Kim's got addiction. And there's a house. And the house has been sold.

But the mother said this and that. It's a crazy tangled web that's been going on for decades. If they just stopped being bitches to each other, it would be a lot easier. They're just horrible to each other. Whether that comes from their mother or whether it comes from their upbringing or somebody was mean to them on a set someplace. I don't know where it comes from, but the fact is they're in their 50s. Grow the fuck up and stop blaming everybody else for once.

Take some goddamn responsibility for your life. I mean, Kim crying about shit about when she was 10 years old bitch please you're like 20 10 year olds right now grow up 20 10 year old get a job go to a go to a bible study do something go to a water aerobics class jesus get addicted to runyon Canyon, darling. Yeah. Well, the only other thing I think we have to talk about of course is Yolanda. Yolanda was having the Lyme disease. It was just so hard for her to even concentrate and to think at this reunion.

She's so tired. And you know, I'm a good person, so I don't judge Brandy because, you know, sometimes the most difficult people are the best people to give your love to. How about no one else will film with you because you're a raging harlot who was accusing some old man of abusing you last year

and turning against people for no reason, you fucking bitch on wheels. Who the hell are you suddenly, Nice? You're not Nice. I remember you from last year. You're still an evil cow, Yolanda, and your fake lives disease is hilarious to me. And the fact that you go on your Bravo blog and compare it to AIDS in the 80s?

Bitch, please. If only. Yeah. No, that's pretty bad, comparing Lyme disease to AIDS. I don't hate Yolanda as much as you do. I hate her. She's such a fun bitch.

I'm so sick of her. And talking about selling your children. She's like, get naked in magazine. Oh, so classy. Look at you. You can support yourself. Your daughter's naked every time I see her. What mother wants that for their child?

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I mean, there are moments when I really like Yolanda. You know, for instance, when she talks about how when Brandy made that dig at Bella about Bella being suggesting that Bella might be an alcoholic when no one was saying that at all. Like, and Yolanda saying, I know she wanted to get a rise out of me. I know she wanted to divert the attention into an argument. And I didn't want to take it.

I like that. I thought that was like a, it was like, it was rare for someone to realize Brandy's tactic and not fall for it. But then there are other times when she is, you know, like, oh, Bella, Bella, you know, trust me, that's not Lyme disease. No, you know, she's not mature. Whoa, whoa. Something just some ad just came on my computer. Hold on. Let me turn it off.

Oh, God. One year ago, California. Shut up, ad. Yeah, I don't believe her because, first of all, someone put in comments today something I totally believe, that Brandy has something on Yolanda. Because Yolanda is not saying anything back, and she's standing up for Brandy. But we know that Yolanda makes mountains out of molehills because last year it was how Ken abused her when he barely touched her. Or how Lisa was just so awful to her and never came to see her with a Lyme disease. And, you know, Lisa could have been more giving. And then even

at the beginning of this season, Yolanda was like, cheers to maybe Lisa coming to see me once when I'm sick or something. Like she could not drop it. She's still bringing up the same non, you know, non, what am I trying to say? Slight. Yolanda can't

get over anything. There's some reason she's being nice to Brandy that we don't understand yet but I'm sure Brandy has a big enough mouth that we'll know at some point I don't think there's a conspiracy theory I guess here's the thing, I think that Yolanda can be annoying but in terms of like inspiring like pure vitriol

that's reserved right now for Kim and Brandy and I can't I just can't put Yolanda in that same category Yolanda gets my vitriol too i think because i follow her and david on instagram now because i once saw a funny lemon post and i was like i'll follow them and um that's david just took a picture getting onto his private jet and he was like another successful charity event building schools in africa or whatever the fuck he's doing and i'm like you fuck how out of touch are you that you're posting

about how wonderful your charity is from the steps of your private jet? Well, that's the thing. They make me roll my eyes. They make me roll my eyes. They make me roll my eyes. I think they're often insufferable. But I don't have deep hatred for them.

I just find them insufferable and almost entertaining. He is insufferable, but at least he earned his money. Yolanda, no. I don't like her because she's just some rich bitch who married into it. She didn't earn that shit, and I have no respect for her acting the way she does. Hate her. Get rid of her.

Clear her. Clear. Clear the crowd. Clear the duchy. Clear her. Clear her. So, why don't we move on uh to wait did we finish i feel like something else happened on this hold on lisa we got lisa lisa kyle i guess we got it all right yeah let's move on to southern charm so southern charm southern charm southern southern smarm y'all let me get to my southern smarm notes i wrote southern comfort yeah i know you know you say that every now and then you call it southern comfort but it's other i used to love that drink i was like why am i throwing up every time i get

drunk because i was drinking southern comfort it's like liquid it's like candy candy drinking oh i really dislike southern i just don't like like it. It sort of tastes like peachy, right? Not peach, but it's very sweet. Yeah, there's like some kind of fruitiness in there. I don't like it at all. So, let's see. So, the big thing this episode, T-Rav, Thomas Ravenel, decided to film some campaign commercials, and he used Whitney, dear Whitney, to be his creative director.

Which is, from the great minds behind Renob, come,. Boner, come Thomas Ravenel's campaign. From the lead singer of Renob comes the campaign commercial with a bunch of ladies with big asses and tight, short mini dresses dancing around Thomas Ravenel, who looks like he's 60 years old, trying to raise the roof with sweaty armpit stains under his shirt. No. No. So here's the background on this. So T-Rav... Well, Whitney really decides, we're going to do something edgy, okay?

We're going to do something edgy. We're going to shake it up. We're going to do something viral that's going to get the attention of the nation. That's viral like HIV. Yeah, like Lyme disease. Like a herpes virus. Yeah.

So what is this commercial? It's basically like a long shot, way too long, of T-Rav at a party. And he goes and starts dancing with women for a solid 15 seconds. Way too long. And then he's like, raise the roof. And then it cuts to him being serious, being like, I may raise the roof, but I won't raise your taxes like Lindsey Graham did. It's like, what? I mean, this is like a 1989 public access thing.

And this is Whitney's version of being edgy. There was nothing. First of all, there's nothing edgy about it. Just because there are girls in bikini, there's trashy. It wasn't edgy. And it was like, it was like not a proper way to like reference his past. It sort of made a punchline as if, hey, we can all joke about this. And it should have been more like,

yeah, I've done this, I've done this, I've done this, but guess what? That doesn't matter right now because what matters is what I'm going to do for you. You know? You should have had Watcher Crappens produce this campaign. Well, I mean, just, you know what, if you've been in jail

for selling cocaine and you've been totally disgraced, the way to get your reputation back is probably not dancing with a bunch of whores awkwardly. Yeah, for sure. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge it. But don't, like, dancing with a bunch of girls is like, I mean, it's like Weekend at Bernie's. Literally because he was like Bernie. They were like carrying this old dead

thing around trying to make it look like it was still alive and there was very little life left in that guy. I mean, that guy's getting that sad thing that happens to all men as we age and it's happening to me, God bless me. But where everything stops growing except our nose and our ears. Have you noticed that with them? They're getting

so big and it's like, oh no're you're morphing into old man ravenel right before our eyes now's the time to maybe put a little salt and pepper in your hair on purpose maybe get some reading glasses right and i don't know talk about lowering taxes and keeping your guns because that's basically all those fuckers want over there okay yeah i mean like if if i think if whitney wanted to be edgy about it or wanted to approach this the whole topic what he should have done was he should have like put people on camera who hate thomas ravenel who say well no he he did cocaine he did this he did that you know he said has sex you know and to show some pictures of him part and don't like recreate it take some footage from the stupid show and then then have thomas ravenel be like yes i did all those things

but guess what what What matters the most is what I do in the office. I've got nothing to lose. All I want to do is protect the state. Whatever. That's what he should have said. Not made it look like a Crazy Eddie's commercial. Like he's going to sell some like, you know, stereo speakers. Yeah,

that was not cute. I was crunching for him. And this is Whitney's big filmmaking prowess. This is what we've been hearing about. This is crunching for him and this is whitney's big filmmaking prowess this is what we've been hearing about this is what patricia sent him to school for is to cut this awful like shitty commercial forget everything else just the production values were just beyond awful uh when he was saying one of the quotes he he had early on he was like you know i feel for katherine she's she stuck out in the middle of nowhere. I mean, she thought she was going to have all this stuff. And I haven't given her a home.

I haven't given her a life. I haven't given her anything, really. Like, smiling. Like, congratulations. You knocked up a child and then screwed her over. Wow. Catherine's basically slowly turning into the crazy lady in the attic in Jane Eyre, you know? Yes.

Quickly. Not even slowly. Quickly. Quickly. Very quickly. There was a crazy lady in the attic, wasn't there, you know? Yes. Quickly. Not even slowly. Quickly. Very quickly. There was a crazy lady in the attic, wasn't there? I don't know. I'm thinking of flowers in the attic, but same diff. Like, I'm picturing her all pasty in the attic just wanting to fuck her brother to get out of this situation. Like, wasn't there, like, a woman from, like, the Caribbean who was, like,

in the attic that Rochester had or something like that? I don't know, but I think any story that takes place in an attic would work here. Let's just try to make this classy by grafting the story of Jane Eyre onto Southern Charm.

It's too late. So that was a poor tea episode. So then later on in the episode, T-Rav is having dinner with katherine she's already had a rough episode because she met with that other like blonde chick and was like so oh my god that was like taking your aunt out for tea i was so horrified at the stuff that she had to ask she's like so did you and thomas like you ever you know like make out

did you and thomas ever have anything going on it was like oh well bless your Thomas like you ever you know like make out or something did you and Thomas ever have anything going on together oh well bless your heart like you know he's flirty like we did sort of like you know I mean it was like you know it's like you know it's like Thomas you know he's like a flirt so like you know but bless your heart I mean before you before you of course

yeah of course sweetie darling well but did you guys ever talk? Did you guys, did he ever kiss you on your neck? Did he ever take you out to dinner? Because he never takes me out. It's like, listen, your husband is 90. He's done everything.

He's fucked midgets. He's gotten blowjobs at truck stops. He's gotten fingers up his butt while he's taking blowjobs. He has done everything. Okay, you're marrying a 90 year old if you don't want somebody who's done anything don't marry an old person you can't be jealous of somebody's past when they've got that long of a past yeah exactly she is really she is definitely she's an idiot i mean shocker it's not it's not a shocker that she's an

idiot but what an idiot she trapped some pigs she knows he's a pig she's fucked the entire group of people first of all yeah then she's trying to like trap the one that she thinks is going to have the most money then she finally traps him and doesn't get what she wants and she's going to act all jealous i'm sorry to keep saying this to people on bravo shows but get a job meet people do things learn something get the hell on with your life woman what's wrong with you i have some pride i know yeah she got so mad at thomas about that commercial later on when she was like she's like those are my those are my friends like that's like like that's disgusting those are my friends like well one thing i think she did have a really good point with was he doesn't want

to take her on the campaign trail because he married a 20 year old and it's gross but he has no problem like being seen as fucking 20 year olds on his campaign ad exactly the best was he's like well you know he's like well you know i can't have you in the commercial we just we don't have the budget for a big family picture he's like you don't have the budget well we just don't have the budget for it. We spent all $25 on the commercial. Yep. That's pretty sad to watch because he's a gross person and she's a gross person too. But listen, who wasn't a gross person when they were 20? Like I was a gross person.

I mean, I guess I still kind of am, but I was much grosser then than I am now. And we all deserve that moment. We all deserve that age where we can just make mistakes and be gross. Yeah. But, um, um, what was it?

I forgot. I was going to say about Catherine and people being slutty and all that stuff. The point is, the point is she is ridiculous. He is ridiculous. I love that. I love that.

He, I love that. He said that there was even a budget concern. Oh, I remember what I was going to say. Patricia, I love how during the commercial, when they're shooting the commercial, Patricia just saunters by with a little stroller with a dog in it. She's like, oh, what's going on here? Oh, Thomas, this is a little wrinkled.

Oh, well, all right. Well, good luck with your commercial. I love that. Patricia, the most judgmental one, whose son is the most disgusting thing on the show. Congrats, lady. Nice work. And by the way, for all you literary people out there,

I can confirm that there was a crazy woman in the attic of Jane Eyre. It was Bertha Antoinette Mason, the violently insane first wife of Edward Rochester, moved to Thornfield and locked in the attic and eventually commits suicide after setting fire to Thornfield Hall. So, I mean, basically Catherine.

That's the future. That's basically G-Rap's future. Bertha Antoinette, something that sounds like one of the people who calls in to ask questions on the reunion shows. Yeah. Yeah. And Adele.

Bertha Antoinette Hall called from missiwachi springs falls yeah a strong huguenot name um so what else so uh whitney also moved in with shep at the beach house that was funny shep doesn't know what a duvet is yeah and he describes whitney as being like liking darkness and hanging upside down in closets like nosferatu well i love that um i love that whitney is like wearing this like cool like leather jacket and some chains and everything like you're 48 years old please please so it's so embarrassing he's like hey brah i bought clean duvet. Because that's what bras worry about. Yeah, I know.

Whether or not their rental duvet is clean. Yeah, it's from the re-knob collection at Kmart. I want to make sure I'm not rubbing my re-knob up against some dirty duvet. What he should be doing is he should be wearing one of those outfits that that guy Cooper designs. Cooper is the resident gay man of Charleston. Oh, my God. Cooper, who's apparently going to wear that Golden Girls pink jacket everywhere he goes. Yeah. He's a designer, and yet he wears a blazer that's two sizes too big for him. Are we just unsure of who's gay in this town?

Like, do we need to be wearing pink jackets wherever we go? Yeah. Really? Like, is that some kind of signal? Is that like wearing an earring in your left ear just so people will know who they're allowed to flirt with? Cooper, please pull it together

for the rest of America's gays. Cooper was the one who attended the second christening with Patricia, right? Yes, in that exact same jacket. Same jacket, yeah. And he's going to have Craig be one of his...

I was like, oh, Shep, Craig, you have to walk in my runway. No, he I was like, oh, Shep, Craig, you have to walk on my runway. No, he did not. He said, Shep, Craig, I have to walk on my runway. Girl, please. You sound like a Jack A impression. Yeah. And then Craig, he's like, well, if I have to choose between being a liar or being pretty, I choose being pretty.

I'm like, well, is that really an option? I love when he's like i love wearing cooper's clothes because i just look so pretty and then they show it and he's wearing like an outfit from the nutcracker and so hell he's like in the playmobil collection he's like this is the playmobil construction worker cooper designed it really like when he said i had an awkward time in high school i went through an awkward phase and they show him like he did look awkward but still hot i mean is that the awkward phase because really bravo is the only place where i tune in to send rich white

people talking about how they were bullied he he did he did look like uh he he was a former cast member of two days remember that show on mtv it was a show cast member of Two A Days. Remember that show on MTV? No, what's that? It was a show on MTV that followed like Alabama, like a football squad in Alabama. It was like 2005 and they all had like those crazy bangs that came down to their eyebrows. Yeah, he did look like that. Yeah. Yeah, poor Craig.

He's on the path of destruction. Poor thing. It must be so hard to be gorgeous, young, white in America with a law degree. I know. And then you have Landon, the new girl. She's so sweet, but she does nothing. She's so sweet. She has a weird voice where she kind of talks like that.

I need to get my divorce papers filed. She spends the entire time giggling until then she starts talking about her divorce. Then she gets sad. And then I feel bad for her because now she's just like a lady living in a boat. Yeah, I'm not really sure about her. I like her, though. I like her.

I'm just not really sure what she's doing yet. She's like a brunette Martha Stewart. She's cute. She's cute and does nothing. Martha Stewart would not be living on a boat like that. No, no, just in terms of the way she looks. She'd move into the boat and start, you know, staining the wood and changing the carpets like she's kind of she seems like kind of a girl chef i got stuck in a bad

marriage yeah i i hope that we get to see her mom it sounds like her mom's a real piece of work oh yeah she's tortured those girls yeah certainly can't wait well obviously southern mom y'all know why yeah because one of those girls did not consent to being shown on camera because she had a face blurred out in all the family photos. Oh, Lord. She's like, I can't be seen on reality television. Reality. My children go to private school. I also thought we were going to get to finally meet Cameron's husband because he, like, called up on the phone.

We heard his voice, and he was going to come in for dinner, but nope. He clearly has nothing. He won't do it. Nothing. And you know that she won't let him, too. You know the part of her that's like, no, you just stay at home, honey. You're not doing this show. I'll put on my kooky mama instead

with her bag of trinkets. Because you know the minute he goes on there, people are going to start going on his Instagram like, you're hot. She knows how this shit works. She's a real world cast member. It's like, you better stay at home, honey. You even show up on the show. You're divorced. I also liked,

uh, Whitney's, uh, uh, partner, um, yelling at him for not taking part in the restaurant. What's it called again?

General, Generalissimo. Gosh, God, none of that's going to work. No, no. If the,

if the restaurant is anything like the campaign commercial, it's going to be like tacos with half a shell. I have to say I'm impressed that Whitney can play the guitar. And sing songs about the Seventh Veil Strip Club. Yeah, and about a stripper giving him a handjob. That was nice. That was classy. Yeah, good for you, singing songs about strippers at 47.

Yeah, I think that ends this show. I really like it. at 47. Yeah, I think that ends this show. I really like it. I just don't really know what to talk about sometimes with this show because it's funny but it's kind of sad too. Well, it's like a different

type of show because what happens is half the cast are jackasses and the other half are normal people who just laugh at the jackasses. So when Whitney makes his commercial, unlike when Asa does diamond water and everyone's like oh cool i love your diamond water like when when he does a commercial half the cast like this will just be pure comedy this will just be terrible look what's he doing making

commercial this is disaster you know it's like i can't argue with them some of my favorite stuff on this uh this show is happening on facebook The best stuff is the meltdown of Thomas and Catherine's marriage that's happening on Facebook. And if people have not been following this, you need to be following better people on Twitter, probably. But have you read any of this, Ben?

I read the thing where Catherine said that the reason why they broke up is because Thomas slept with her best friend. Yeah, I'm trying to see. Yeah, Catherine's like, well, he slept with my best friend while i was pregnant which is something else that she hinted at uh this week where she was like he was seeing her while i was pregnant by the way so she's always ready to go after him

but did did i read these texts last week i don't think think so. Thomas put on, I think this is Facebook. While I know it hurts, it's finally healthy progress to know the truth. The joke of it is that she said she was going to propose to me today. I'm great in business, but my personal life sucks. What an idiot I am. Not only that, but she's telling everyone that physically assault hurt, which is not only hurtful, but blatantly false. My lawyer is right. When I see her, I should run.

Right now, I don't know how it could be worse unless we lost our health. How did I let... Such an old person thing to say. At least we got our health. How did I let her take my heart? It was cold on a perch. Now it's completely vanished with not even an attempt for explanation. First of all, grammar.

I mean, I get that you typed this on your iPhone, but... I mean, come on. You're running seriously seriously seriously um and then i don't know who this is i miss tanner that's so bad but i do i don't give a shit if thomas and i work out after feeling the way i did with tan tan and then someone wrote stop texting that just get here and she wrote will do baby we're saying bye we're here what the hell and then katherine wrote this is completely ridiculous none of you know a thing about this post delete this post please it's inappropriate and misconstrued. And then Thomas wrote, while it truly hurts, at least I know the truth from Catherine Dennis. I don't know. These people are crazy.

And it's so bad because no one really knows English anymore. So it's like trying to decipher what everybody really means from their bad grammar. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I think there was like abuse in here somewhere and breakups. But I'm loving it. We just need more Patricia, less Whitney,

and I'll be fine. I'll be happy. I need Cameron and Patricia just judging everybody. Yes. Just make that a thing. What you need to have is you have half the episode

people doing shitty things and the other half is Patricia and Cameron making fun of them for it. And then you're set. We need like a Top Chef spinoff for butlers. What?

Patricia can just like be the judge of all the butlers and they would have to go through butler challenges like making martinis and like cleaning poop specks off the toilet seats and stuff yeah i would love that i love what patricia said about thomas's campaign she's like now i would think i don't think that having cocaine use and and and getting a baby out of wedlock is going to help you take down Lindsey Graham. But, you know, no one's perfect. And then she just laughs.

So perfect. It is. You know what, Patricia? You're perfect. You are perfect. She's an awful human being, but damn it, she's funny and she's got a white feather boa.

She's just amazing. I wonder how old she is i mean she looks she looks great um well preserved well preserved um all right well i think all right it's clear wrap it up clear the podcast clear the podcast chef penny's coming through with a gato clear clear some space it's time for chef penny um uh i am am Kristen, and I approve this message. Kristen. Kristen. Seriously.

Kristen. God, Kristen. This is so ridiculous, Kristen. Seriously, Lindsey Graham's going to raise taxes. Seriously, but not me. Seriously, I approve this message. Seriously. Seriously, raise the roof.

Okay, everyone. You can find us on Facebook.com forward slash WatchForCrapInns If you want, if you listened to this podcast, you enjoyed it, and you want to talk with other people about it, things you liked about it, or just other shows, that's where you go. Or WatchForCrapInns.com

to find our other social media. And of course, you can support us at Patreon.com and get access to things like bonus episodes and ringers and hangouts and our bonus episode this week again is about all the new bravo shows coming your way and some shade about uh chantal from gallery girls so i i hope you enjoy it i know we enjoyed recording it as we enjoyed recording this episode and uh looking forward to seeing everyone next week although uh the episode actually won't be up next week until wednesday because i'll be on a plane on tuesday so that is that so yeah that's that y'all thanks everyone for listening and we approve this message bye

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