Watch What Crappens - #175: Reunion, Baby!

Episode Date: April 9, 2015

To paraphrase Lisa Rinna, "It's reunion, baby!" That's right ? there's more evil to discover from the new wellspring of darkness that is Kim Richards, and we are more than happy to discuss ...it with this week's guest Angie Thomas (@angieclientservices / Small Potatoes Podcast / Lyon's Lair Podcast). The group fully dismantles the latest episode of the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" reunion before taking on "Shahs of Sunset" as well as "Southern Charm." Come for the Bravo, stay for the frank discussion of race! It's fun! You can donate to us at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crap is. Crap is.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the Banter Blender podcast, which is on iTunes, etc. And joining me this week is the wonderful, the lovely, the bespoked Ronnie Karam. Wow.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Yes. Ronnie Karam, the recent purchaser of a suit. Hi, Ronnie, from TrashTalkTV.com. Hello, everybody. It's so wonderful to be here. I can already sense that you are sartorially improved. Wow. As if I didn't feel stupid enough co-hosting a Bravo podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:45 And joining us this week, you may have heard a little chuckle through the background there is our dear friend Angie Thomas from the Small Potatoes podcast as well as the Lions Den podcast hey Angie hey y'all it's the Lions Lair
Starting point is 00:01:59 I'm sorry oh I called it the Lions Den earlier but you guys on twitter are the den loonies so yeah i think you should maybe clarify that up just so you may need some branding layer loonies layer loonies layer to loon um anyway uh angie thanks for coming back on the show thank you for having me so this is a good week to talk oh god this has been a for having me This is a good week to talk Oh god this has been a great week
Starting point is 00:02:26 It's been a great week to talk You know it's been a great week to live I tell you you know what happened today Alanis Morissette liked one of my photos on Instagram What? You're joking And then I clicked through and it wasn't Alanis Morissette It was someone from Asia called
Starting point is 00:02:42 Kim Chi Kardashian What? How did you get that confused with Alanis Morissette. It was someone from Asia called Kimchi Kardashian. What? How did you get that confused with Alanis Morissette? Because her Instagram handle is Alanis Morissette at Alanis Morissette, but it's really some person from Asia. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:02:57 But I still, you know what, I'm still going to take it. Yeah. Lisa Rinna liked my recap, which is really mean, and then followed me. I love you, Lisa Rinna. Oh my which is really mean and then followed me I love you Lisa Rinna and then Leah wrote me something Leah Black wrote oh watch what happens it's a guilty pleasure and I wrote back
Starting point is 00:03:15 to them hey Leah when you're in the summer let's all hang out at your house but no one favorited it I think I've already overstayed that yeah that's a I'm like you followed me do you want to go have lunch I think I've already overstayed that. Yeah. That's a break. Yeah. I'm like, you followed me.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Do you want to go have lunch? That's a guilty pleasure. Not a guilty invitation. Yeah. I still remember when you brought Tupperware to my house and took that sushi home. I was like, Hey,
Starting point is 00:03:39 what do you made? It's good on the back of my scooter. She doesn't need three maids for this living room. Get the hell on my scooter. Bring that sushi. Stop wiping down those mirrors. Leah! We love, we actually, we do love Leah.
Starting point is 00:03:53 And we love Lisa Rinna, too. And both should come on. But anyway, you can follow us on Facebook. Facebook.com forward slash watch where crap ends. So much fun is happening on that Facebook page. We say it every week. Now we say it twice a week and we mean it twice as much.
Starting point is 00:04:12 It's really honestly, there's like a lot of people on there, a lot of good commentary, a lot of good pictures and links, et cetera. It's great. And then for all our other social media, you can go to watch for crappins.com or in the case of Angie, you can go to Denwhatcrappens.com or in the case of Angie, you can go to at denlunies on Twitter. Yeah, lines are podcast. And I'm also at smallpotatispodcast.
Starting point is 00:04:32 Yeah, it's really, really good. Really fun. A food-oriented podcast. The latter one was. And of course, you can always support Watch What Crappens on Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash Watch What crap ends and you can you know if you feel like uh throwing a dollar or two at us you can get access to like a bonus episode
Starting point is 00:04:51 and you can maybe get depending on how much you can get up there's ringtones and there's there's hangouts and maybe other stuff down the line uh i keep taking forever to post ringtones but right now there's a sheena monologue about to go up. Everybody telling Stassi that she's wrong. Katie saying, like, for reals after telling off Stassi, because can you tell I miss Vanderpump Rules already? Yeah. And Reza's gay heart.
Starting point is 00:05:18 And a Gina ringer. Okay, there's a lot about to go up. How does the Gina ringer go? The Gina ringinger is her opening From the Housewives That goes She's like I don't deal in fact I deal in fact
Starting point is 00:05:33 Not in friction I thought it was going to be like I deal in fact not friction I deal in fact Not friction I thought it was going to be like I thought it was going to be like her saying, ring, ring, ring, ring.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Or maybe her saying, get off my phone right this minute. Oh, you know what I'm going to do though, Ben? You're calling it. I'm going to go back and I'm going to get her saying when she got in that fight with Janet in the restaurant, I'm going to get her saying, well, she's a horrible person.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Well, she's a horrible person. Well, she's a horrible person. Well, she's a horrible person. Yeah, you can assign that one to your frenemy. Girl. Yeah. These things, I actually do use them as my ringer sometimes. Oh, my God, they're so obnoxious. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:18 They really are. Well, it's got... Kristen! Kristen! Kristen! Kristen! Kristen! The best bet is to use them for text tones, because that way it's like
Starting point is 00:06:28 one and done. At least it's better than that stupid generic tone that's like dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun- yeah i just got a new iphone so i didn't get to plan on my ringers yet and yeah i'm stuck with those shut the fuck up who even wants to check their texts with that people people who have the most annoying ringtones have them on the loudest and they're always the ones at inappropriate times you're like in a movie and you hear that they have like full-on drum beats like on the loudest. And they're always the ones at inappropriate times. You're like in a movie and you hear the, they have like full-on drum beats like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Because I'm late for this podcast. No, the best one. I'm talking 30 minutes.
Starting point is 00:07:29 And I won't talk about shows on Bravo. Canberra totally has that one, our friend Canberra. And then I actually gave to our friend Sylvia, I gave her the private dancer ringtone. Oh, man. So when she calls, it's like... Oh, I can't listen to that song anymore. It's very sultry. It's a very sultry phone call. I think I actually did a terrible impersonation of it,
Starting point is 00:07:51 but you get the point. My Lebanese grandmother, Siti, Siti Mary, the last year she was alive, we had this big karaoke Christmas, as we often did, and I sang Private Dancer for her and stripped. So I can't listen to that song anymore. Was that when the song was out? Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Colonel, how old do you think I am? The song was out. What the hell? Private Dancer? I mean, well, you could have been like a kid. My parents hadn't even met yet. I'm your private dancer. Dancer for money. Do what you want
Starting point is 00:08:28 me to do. Alright, so Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, eh? Yeah, wow. This is going to be a painful discussion, so we had to start it with a lot of iPhone ringers and private dancing stripping for your Lebanese grandma.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Nothing about talking, you know, strippers is a good entryway to talk about a reenactment with, you know, drug addicts and whores. Yeah, this is going to need a lot of lube. Yeah, yeah, this topic needs a little bit of, and in fact
Starting point is 00:08:59 may need to take it into the champagne room. Take it in the back. Well, I'm going to let you guys take the lead on Beverly Hills because I've been writing the recaps all season. And frankly, I'm like filled with so much. By the end of the season, I'm so just, it's affecting me too much. Like I need to take a step away and not get so upset because I get really upset.
Starting point is 00:09:27 And then I'm like, well, what if I ever met Brandy? What would I say to her? It's like, really, you don't need to be thinking like that. What would you not say to her? I know what she would say to you. Yes. That's what she would say. I don't want to do it.
Starting point is 00:09:44 What are you talking about? I don't want to. Fucking bitch. The best thing that I've heard about Brandy in the past few weeks, Julie Klausner on her podcast said that Brandy looked like one of those giggles cookies from the 90s. Oh, my God. What a horrible person.
Starting point is 00:10:03 She do. And with a voice like Mr. Bill. Oh, no. But only when she's mad. Dino from the Flintstones. I apologize. I don't know. I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:10:19 I can't do it. Yeah. We should put Brandy screaming next to Leah laughing. Yeah. Okay, you be screaming and I'll be Leah. It's like two cars in traffic that needs to get their belt changed. Or that needs to get their belt changed. I was thinking about between her
Starting point is 00:10:45 and Eddie, I always was just sort of, you know, I said before when I was on here that I think she and Eddie were actually probably perfect for each other. I sort of feel like Eddie's kind of a dirtbag, maybe. But, you know, I have to give it to him for not letting
Starting point is 00:11:01 the kids be on the show. Because I was sitting there and I was like, that is someone's mother. I mean, I don't want to put parameters on how a mother should act or whatever. But I was thinking, thank God, actually, he had the common sense to keep those kids out of that. They're not going to see this. I hope that those boys do not ever see this. They will. I'm sure they will.
Starting point is 00:11:29 They're going to see it in court. She's like, I love how Brandi's like, but I woke up at 5 a.m. I woke up at 5 a.m. I made them sandwiches and brought them to school so that way I could be here and be showing myself as a terrible mother to all the world. That's basically what she's doing. She's like, I'm a good mom. I wake up early. I take care of my kids so that way I have time to come on TV
Starting point is 00:11:49 and call other women whores and say, shut the fuck up and be an awful person. Great, great, good work. Spread rumors about their daddies sleeping with trannies and telling everybody that they were test tube babies. Her behavior is so despicable and she sort of said
Starting point is 00:12:05 it as if like well you know he won't allow them to be on the show and i was trying to like can you imagine like what she would be i i would just imagine her exploiting those kids if they were allowed to be on here she would well she would because she'd be trying to show that she's like mother of the year it'd be like alexis bellino that one season of OC where she's like, oh no, Jim and I have a great relationship. Look at us playing with our kids. They'd be having birthday parties with petting zoos and stuff like that. Meanwhile, they're in neck braces
Starting point is 00:12:35 from trampoline parks. Yeah. I mean, that's Randy. He probably stopped letting them on camera. Carrying around little EpiPens and insulin because too many Orange Juliuses. Anyway, I just thought about that.
Starting point is 00:12:52 He probably won't let them be on because the first season she was on, they went to that little kids party, whoever's it was, and her kid was peeing out in the open on a tree or something. And they're like, your son is pissing on a tree.
Starting point is 00:13:03 And she's like, oh. Yeah, she's like, don't you dare talk about my son like oh yeah she's like don't you dare talk about my son don't you dare don't you dare talk about my kids oh that was the worst but you know i have to say actually for this reunion episode um one of our listeners sydney charlotte posted on our page uh the recap from vulture um and this really um got to the thick of it and i'm by the way i'm sorry ronnie i didn't i'm not trying to oh there's a million recaps in the world not trying to ignore the trash talk don't worry about it you just no no seriously go to vulture first well no everybody yours is like the funny one this is this is one that this is one that got me fired up
Starting point is 00:13:40 yeah i'm just kidding no i'm gonna read some of this and then feel free to interrupt and use it as a springboard as you wish. But the writer, who's the writer? Brian Moylan. Brian Moylan! So he writes, after this season and this reunion in particular, it seems that
Starting point is 00:14:00 I was wrong about Kim the whole time because he had said that Kim had been his formerly favorite housewife. She wasn't a poor, lost child star who didn't know what to do with her life and was struggling with sobriety. She's just a mean, vicious person who is hiding a whole lot of bad behavior under layers of intoxication. She wants everyone to accept
Starting point is 00:14:17 her now that she's sober, and no matter what you say, I still... Oh, he says no matter what you say, I still believe that Kim is mostly sober. End parentheses. But not drinking or touching drugs isn't the end of the road kim isn't addressing her bad behavior or whatever it was that made her drink in the first place it's like if you stop having an affair and then think that automatically everything is going to be perfect with your husband um sorry i'm like putting the wrong emphasis on parts of the sentences okay i'm like misleading like a computer read it like i'm just reading you emphasis on parts of the sentences. No, it's okay. I'm misleading you. Just read it like a computer.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Yeah, I'm misleading you. Well, I keep thinking the sentence is going in a different way. But yeah, it's a good point. Thinking that if you stop having an affair, then therefore it's over, it's fine. So yes, if Brandy was the villain of part one of the reunion, then Kim is the new villain that we need to talk about this week. First, we can talk about Eileen briefly because I like her more and more.
Starting point is 00:15:07 When Brandy asked what Eileen brought to the show, Eileen should have said sanity. Eileen is a real, actual, smart person who always seems to have a measured and logical response. She is a way the viewers have to experience the show, sort of looking around going, who are these Martians, blah, blah, blah. Actually, I'd like to take a pause there. Yes. the show sort of looking around going who are these martians blah blah blah actually i'd like to take a pause there yes i think where that goes wrong that analysis goes wrong is eileen brought sanity because she kind of brought boredom let's admit it i don't know i don't i disagree i know you do but she brought excitement to the end like to this reunion she's killing it so she killed it i'm not i'm gonna give credit where credit's due also you
Starting point is 00:15:42 know i love this bitch is the quadruplets from Days. I love her. Like, I'm in love with her. But on this show, I saw glimpses of her trying to bring the drama. She's trying to bring it with Brandy. She was trying. That thing that happened with Brandy at the beginning, she could have just laughed off and been like, you're crazy. Don't throw drinks in people's face. But instead, she was smart about it.
Starting point is 00:16:03 She cried about it. Then she went to her husband and was like, she's a super fan. What do I do about her? She's crazy. She's following me. She tried to go there, but it just didn't really click in that way because I think she just wasn't involved with the other ladies. And I think some of that has to do with being from Malibu. Is it possible, if we take your theory, is it possible to say that maybe it might have clicked except for the fact that everything with Poker Night came in and just
Starting point is 00:16:28 like overshadowed it like that became the drama? No I think it didn't click because Brandy wasn't going to fight with her Brandy's not going to get to fight with somebody but meaning it was in its early stages of turning into something and then everything happened with Kim and then that became the focus
Starting point is 00:16:43 so I mean I just think that, I think Eileen has been great on the show. I don't think everyone needs to bring drama necessarily. I think if you can bring a likability. Yeah. Well, yeah, but she didn't bring anything. I mean, she didn't bring the drama, which is fine. But if you're not going to bring the drama,
Starting point is 00:17:02 Candy doesn't bring a lot of drama, but she's funny and she's real. That exactly what i mean it's not there with her kid doing homework and then went to work on days one day and then cleaned her house one day and then like i don't know like packed her kid for camp one day i was like yeah you need to i mean you don't have to like strangle anybody but i don't know i don't know i think that i go to target or something i think eileen was super funny. And I thought she did, like, fun things. I mean, she did have a few of those annoying domestic scenes, but they all did. And, you know, I enjoyed when she had her film festival in Burbank at, like, the mall and, you know, things like that.
Starting point is 00:17:37 I was, like, very happy for Eileen's presence. I think every time she made commentary, it was always hilarious. I thought she was also very, like, astute with her observations i was big fan big fan and i think on this reunion she was great and she totally busted brandy when brandy was like talking about how like oh um you know all my girlfriends and my girlfriends have cheated on the guy and then like there's one girlfriend that i had when i found out that she was like was with like a married guy like stopped being, I like stopped being friends with her immediately. And then Eileen's like, so you're not,
Starting point is 00:18:07 now you're the moral compass of our group. Yeah. The other good thing about Eileen is because she's, since she doesn't really have a legitimate history, gripe, beef with anybody, she can be really coherent and clear. She sees things from like our perspective.
Starting point is 00:18:24 So she can just kind of play it like it is she's not like kyle she didn't just burst into tears lisa rena who i adore but lisa can get like kind of emotion she gets more like actressy la emotional and i think like i aileen is also a damn good actress because she can kind of turn on that soap persona a little bit and like hype it up but she's still just like you said like she'll stay her point matter of factly and then you move on well that's what i was waiting for from her was you know and i know it's not fair to like expect an actress to be their character but i am a real super fan and like brandy who didn't even know that billy uh that lisa rena was the original billy false super fan. Unlike Brandy, who didn't even know that Lisa Rinna was the original Billie. False super fan.
Starting point is 00:19:06 I watched every episode of that. Do you know how much school I missed to go to my sithy's house and play cards with old ladies to watch that shit? And sing Private Dancer? Yeah. Well, that was at parties.
Starting point is 00:19:16 You were raised right. At the end of the day, it was just gin rummy. But I loved her, and I'm like, she needs to bring that character, Kristen DeMera, Stefano DeMera's evil daughter.
Starting point is 00:19:26 She needs to bring that girl on. And in the reunion, she did. I mean, she was just giving dirty looks left and right, snarking left and right, not taking any crap. And that's, I'm excited she's on the show because I knew she had that in her. And I can't wait until next year when her bitch flower properly has time to blossom. Well, I mean, she definitely was taking Brandy to task and she's doing a great job of it you know when she told brandy that she was being an ass she was constantly being an asshole to her and brandy's like and i apologize and then she's like and you continue to be an asshole and then brandy just nods yes like
Starting point is 00:19:59 well yeah yeah exactly and then you know and lisa vanderpump is like well that's just not the way the world works darling that's just you know you just can't apologize. And she's right. But Brandy will never understand. that's how it ends with the world. That's not how it works, darling! It's like, whoa, Lisa, you're turning into like a cast member from My Fair Lady. Calm down. Yeah. Chill it over there. But yeah, they were ready to dogpile Brandy. I think Brandy's fallen into the Tamara Barney trap
Starting point is 00:20:33 of just being a complete horrible human being and then turning into a victim where everybody calls her out on it. When everybody calls her out on it. And then when you say, why are you such a bitch, man? Like, watch what happens when people call in. They're like, Tamara, you know, Denise from Poopy Diaper Falls wants to know why you're such a cunt.
Starting point is 00:20:51 And then she's like, well, you know, I have a job to do. And Andy pays me a lot of money to do it. So screw you! You know, that's Tamara Barney's answer. And that's basically where Brandy's at. You know, the thing is this, though. When you see Brandy, it kind of makes you appreciate the artistry of Tamara Barney, if I may be so bold to use that phrase. No, because we say this every year.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Tamara Barney, I mean, she's like a snake. She's like an evil woman. And every year she knows exactly who to, like, be the enemy of. And she just is always just the enemy. And she's just sort of there and she just is always just the enemy, and she's just sort of there, and she's awful, and yet she's, like, like, sort of, like, wonderfully awful, like, you kind of, like, you need her, you know, it's, like, you sort of love having Tamra there, she, she acts a certain way, she, you've, she, over the course of seasons, she, she targets someone, and by the end, she,
Starting point is 00:21:41 it's evil, and then at the, at the reunion, she's just vile. And then it starts all over the next season. Whereas Brandy is just like, she's sort of like, there's a little bit of more righteousness in her. And it's almost like, I think she believes the bullshit that she's spewing. Whereas I don't know if Tamara does. And it's kind of like, ew, you're awful. Just go away. We just don't need you. We don't need you on this show.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Tamara also has a talent of fitting in because she's the same age as the ladies. She actually can fake it. And if she's nice to you, she can actually be their friends. So she's actually, she tricks people into thinking she's their friend. And then she flips them. And that's why it's hilarious. But Brandy can't because Brandy is like, I'm younger than you guys. You're all old.
Starting point is 00:22:24 So that automatically separates. And I'm hot. you guys you're all old so that automatically separates and I'm hot and she's also like shut the fuck up she's vulgar she's white trashy when they're all pretending and the other thing is too is that there's also I mean the cast are different too I mean Tamara Barney would never fit in on Beverly Hills
Starting point is 00:22:40 and you know that's where also Brandy sticks out because she is sort of white trash and therefore she belongs in Orange County I've never thought brandy's a very intelligent person and she is one of these women that has unfortunately because she is so tall and thin and pretty she's that has let her coast forever and now she literally is in a position where she needs to use her intellect and be kind of sharp and know how to talk to people and even when they're at a social function she can't just like be there and like talk to anybody i mean she has to either have a fight or have a scene
Starting point is 00:23:16 or bring horrible people with her she has no social skills because i think like you know i used to work with models and stuff and When you're 19, it's cute to be a model and be at a party and be drunk and sitting on guys' laps. I mean, you've got to try and get a husband somehow. Yeah, but now Brady, that's her go-to. She doesn't know how to do it. That's her only way she knows how to behave.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Yeah, and in fact, when one of the callers was like, or the watchers was like, what do you bring to the show and Brandi was like conflict I guess that really should not be like a source of pride I don't know if she really said it that way but either way yeah she did that's not something that you should be proud of
Starting point is 00:23:58 and I was actually very much I was glad that Lisa would ask like what happened in your childhood that made you feel like it was sort of like a very rude question I was glad that Lisa would have asked, like, what happened in your childhood that made you feel like this? It was sort of like a very rude question, but, like, one I was really happy to hear. And Brandy's like, you're not a therapist or whatever.
Starting point is 00:24:13 It's like, oh, nice to... Brandy's answer was, oh, no, my parents are great. They're still together. And, yeah, my parents are still together. Like, first of all, what a cunty thing to say, because you're not still together with your father, so what is that saying about your own parenting skills you idiot like she doesn't even know that she's criticizing herself and then um don't you remember that your storylines about
Starting point is 00:24:34 your father your father being so horrified by you that he won't speak to you anymore and like now he's barely starting to talk to you and then when he was in the hospital you were filming a scene getting a facial yeah like bitch please yeah and then didn't and then i believe it was brandy who was going after um lisa rena about her depends whatever and lisa is like where's your tampon endorsement that was oh yeah kind of an amazing comeback and she and also she tries to be she tries to manipulate things but it never she can't follow through she's not smart enough like with lisa rena was spot on when she kind of labeled her as this trashy mom thing because she is because she trusts she's always like i'm a mother and then she tried to turn it like you're coming from my children. Not every woman on here, I have to say, they're respectful of the kid thing.
Starting point is 00:25:26 They rarely go for that. And most of the kids on this show are fine. There's no reason to. It's like mother is a four-letter word. If you mention mother, it's like, you're coming after my kids. It's like, no, it's just you're... Right now, that's a title that applies to you in your life.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Yeah, no one was coming for the kids. No one saying when you when somebody says you're a trashy mother doesn't mean that you're a mother who like serves trash to your kids it just means that you're a mother and you happen to be trashy like that's the only thing she has left that's all she has left that is her last remaining shred of dignity is she's got those two boys that are sane and the only reason they're sane is because Eddie won't let him be on the damn show. Right. And also I love that everybody acts like having a baby makes them like Superman. Yeah. Okay. You let
Starting point is 00:26:13 sperm into your vagina and then something came out of it. It's been happening since the beginning of fucking time. Okay. Right. When you drop an apple core onto the grass, the seeds fall into it and maybe an apple tree will grow. Okay. It's called nature. Get over yourself. i pooped this morning okay if you want to make me special yeah if you want to like really be if you want to protect your kids you shouldn't be angry at your ex for him not letting them on the show so that way you could exploit them you should just
Starting point is 00:26:37 you should be happy and in fact if you want to protect your kids you shouldn't be on the show in the first place how about that at all yeah here's the thing i will say about brandy because i do think that brandy would probably be a really cool chick if she wasn't trying so hard to to make an impression like she seems like she would just be fun to hang out with like i'm sure if we met her in real life we'd love her i would love girls like brandy she's snarky she's fun she drinks she seems like she's sensitive i mean she's friends with you know someone who deals with people in rehab every day like there seems to be a side of her that's good it's just that she first saw the first when we first saw the first two seasons well she was being victimized then and that's a that's the typical way that you fall in love with a housewife is when they're
Starting point is 00:27:18 being victimized by somebody else like but she's always like the one who's being bullied but she was a little bit more fun than two too. She was sort of silly. When she would say things, she was sort of speaking the truth a little bit more. But now, it's like you said, that she's now trying to make power plays. She's trying to make an impression. And it's annoying.
Starting point is 00:27:38 It's sort of taking a nasty side. Here's a shred of gossip. She passes it on as if it's truth. She perceives things incorrectly. That's why I liked whenyle told her earlier in the season like these are all like your truth but they're not the truth yeah or some version of that yeah i mean i think she would be a cool chick she's just trying too hard to be a villain but then she can't take being a villain like no you know like bringing it back to tamra tamra accepts that she's a villain and
Starting point is 00:28:04 she'll go in there and scream it yeah scream and yell and you know do whatever she needs to do and finishes a villain and i know that it hurts her feelings too because i've read her stuff on twitter like i'm just doing my job and everyone's so mean to me i need to get off twitter for two weeks you know like i get that too but brandy's just takes it to a new level where it's like you cannot be i would root for the villain i love a good villain but she's just takes it to a new level where it's like you cannot be... I would root for the villain. I love a good villain, but she's just... You can't be a villain and then start crying, okay? Terrorists do not
Starting point is 00:28:31 cry. The problem is that she just... She's deeply insecure and she wants to be liked. And when she's not liked, her defense mechanism is to lash out at the people who don't like her because it's easier to make it their fault than to look
Starting point is 00:28:48 within herself and see what's wrong with me. You know, it's typical villain behavior on the Housewives. They all, every single villain does it. NeNe, same thing. She goes into therapy with everybody after causing shit with everybody in the cast and then leaves crying because nobody's on her
Starting point is 00:29:04 side and they're all against her. Tamara Barney, everybody's against her. Jill Zarin, poor God bless her, everybody was just against her. They all, it's like they they must have psychologists working in the casting and because they're just like, get me one delusional sad bully who, you know, with
Starting point is 00:29:20 a persecution complex and let's make this happen. Right. Now, but as much as we've been talking about Brandy. This episode really was. All about Kim. This was the Kim episode. While we're transitioning into little Kim Twitchards. I would like to bring up some stuff.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Because we take a lot of what we say. Off this Facebook page. Because we have live threads. Whenever we do the show. And read everybody's comments and stuff. And there's a lot of people. who have been saying stuff on this page that I think we should address. Paula, love you. Maybe just can't.
Starting point is 00:29:53 They keep making this point in these threads. And I think it's a legit point. Maybe just maybe Kim was right about Eileen and Lisa having nothing to talk about except her problems. Now, I will say I've agreed with that many times over the course of the season, and that does bug me, that the new girls are making Kim's thing their storylines. But why not? I think that's kind of low, personally. But that's like a thing to talk about.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Haven't you ever been around a bunch of people? I mean, no, I don't think it is. I mean, I think if they said, Kim, you're drunk, you need help. If it was something like that, OK, but making it like lunch is where you talk about it. And then you're talking about it in all of your interviews. Let me tell you something. Have you ever had a drunk friend who's like a drunk? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:37 I've had friends who've been drunk and it like totally dominates conversations. Like it's not just something you talk about. It's like a thing that you talk about with your friends a lot because you're always talking about it. You're always catching up on what that person did most recently. And then you're talking about you're sort of evidence building because you know eventually you're going to have to say something to the friend.
Starting point is 00:30:56 And what do you say? And when do you say it? How do you do it? Did you say it? No, I didn't say it. So it's like when you say... That leads me to my defense. So what you're saying is rational, okay? And I'm sure I've been that friend before. Not with you, necessarily, but I'm sure I've been that friend in the group
Starting point is 00:31:11 that people are like, oh, my God, Ronnie just pooped in the bushes, or something, you know? Like, I'm sure that I've been that friend. So I get that, and I get that it becoming a, I get all that, but I think that my defense is all Kim had to do was say, listen, I know I acted like a fucking crazy person. I relapsed because I'm an addict. And part of what being an addict is is always being obsessed with drugs and alcohol. And sometimes you relapse.
Starting point is 00:31:41 And I'm sorry. But I did it. I acted like a jerk. You're right to be worried about me thank you for being worried about me but i'm okay like i got back on track i called my my fake sponsor the gay guy psychic i got off craigslist to tell me i'm still sober um even when i drink wine and uh take pain pills and i'm fine so thank you but kim can't admit when she's wrong ever and she lies over and over again.
Starting point is 00:32:05 And that's why everybody's saying Kim is still an addict. She is not taking responsibility. She has never once apologized to anybody. And then she lies about everything. And then she's caught in her lies. And then she says things like, well, you know, I say things that I don't remember. That's called blacking out, Kim.
Starting point is 00:32:21 And this is a good segue to the rest of this recap because the recap also sort of touches on this. So I'll try to read this quickly on selected parts of it. Go for it. I'm going to read jokes from my recap. Yeah, so the writer goes, Kim, ah, Kim, a koosh ball that has been left out in the rain.
Starting point is 00:32:44 The thing that bugs me about Kim is how she... I don't know what that means. Just kidding. I'm being too judgmental of someone else's. Go ahead, go ahead. She's like a wet toy. I don't know what that means. The thing that bugs me about Kim is how she turned what happened at Eileen's Poker Night into everyone else's problem. Doesn't she realize that everything that came out of that night, which really was the whole second half of the season, doesn't she realize that everything that came out of that night which really was the whole second half of the season where all anyone did was talk about kim's sobriety had to do with the fact that
Starting point is 00:33:08 she took a pill that she shouldn't have been taking kyle didn't take the pill eileen didn't take the pill lisa rena didn't take the pill brandy tried to take the pill because she sort of gobbles them up like she's miss pac-man but she did not kim took the pill and that is what made everyone do what they did how does kim not realize this how is it that everyone else did something wrong that night and Kim didn't? Kim says she was wrong for taking it, but it doesn't seem like she really thinks that. She's mad at Kyle for making her- No, she didn't.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Actually, Kim said, I took it for a reason. I took it because I was in pain. I was sick. That's why I took the pill. I took the pill for a reason. I wasn't relapsing. The reason I took the pill, and then I was in the hospital. So that's proof that I was sick.
Starting point is 00:33:45 At one point of the reunion, she said, and I realized it was wrong, but she said it like that. That's where they make her. You know, they make her sick. And at one point, they make her point blank,
Starting point is 00:33:55 I think apologize to, maybe Eileen. Yeah. And it was, and that was when her true personality came out. Because when she was, when he asked her point blank, do you think you owe her an apology? Be, be, be, yeah. was when her true personality came out because when she was when he asked her point blank do
Starting point is 00:34:05 you think you owe her an apology b b b yeah and then when she was forced to do it it was so like half-hearted root like that's who she is yeah you know what i mean and i and in fact that was the second that was the second time that apology was brought up in the reunion it'd been brought up about like 10 minutes earlier. It was like, have you apologized to Eileen and Lisa? And she was like, I didn't have to after what they did for me. It's like, no, you're supposed to. You're supposed to.
Starting point is 00:34:33 And they called her out for accountability and she refused to. Well, I think a lot of the reason, you know, I get very ragey about Kim. And I've raged on for hours on this season especially over Kim and I guess I would just like to clarify that I am an addict in a lot of I mean I quit smoking for three years and I've been smoking and my friends are horrified
Starting point is 00:34:55 and I'm like look I fell off the wagon I'll stop Saturday like sorry it's my life if I want to smoke I'm gonna fucking smoke like my problem is not that Kim is an addict. My problem is that she's a fucking asshole. And she's an asshole to everybody. She will never say she's sorry.
Starting point is 00:35:12 And then she blames people for her problems. And one thing somebody brought up on our Facebook page or in the comments or something, a really good point, was last year's reunion. She was accusing Lisa of telling everybody she took that pain pill. And that wasn't a relapse or blah, blah, blah. But this year, suddenly, it would be considered a relapse. It's like she doesn't remember her own arguments and it's just... It's half embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:35:33 That's right. That's so funny. And you know, a dry drunk is actually almost worse than a drunk because you have empathy for an addict. You have empathy for somebody whose life is out of control. You know they're hurting.
Starting point is 00:35:44 You want to help them. And Kim, and I was sitting here and I was honestly like, I think she's sober, but I think she's still acting out in the addict behavior, which is awful. I don't think she's sober. I mean, she's sober. Maybe she's not
Starting point is 00:35:59 doing crystal meth in bathrooms or whatever they were accusing her of in season one. But Kim's version of what's sober isn't by everyone else. crystal meth in bathrooms or whatever they were accusing her of um in season one but kim's kim's version of what sober is by everyone else it's like the aa version of sober is if you take cold medicine with alcohol in it you're not so you fall off the wagon it's like very you know very strict like that but if you go to the promises version of you know recovery it's not that it's not you don't have to be dry and you don't have to not take drugs forever it's find the reasons that you're like fucking wasted every
Starting point is 00:36:30 day and fix that yeah so there's different versions and look i'm all for somebody being sober and still having a drink on a friday night if they can do that but not everybody can and i don't i mean she's maybe she's so mushy that she's still slurry and stuff but she doesn't look sober to me. Yeah, and obviously, you know, we talk a lot about, like, as, like, being in recovery, you're supposed to make amends. I mean, that assumes that you're following the 12-step model, which, like, you sort of, which you just kind of alluded to is not always the model that everyone uses. But it's kind of, like, the most widely accepted model for recovery. I feel like that's like the one, you know, like that's.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Well, that seems to be the only one that helps people have any reasonable kind of life. And it seems like that's the one that Kim had been taking, you know. And it's just, you know, to see her just continuing to lash out and really just, you know, it's like, well, yeah, sure, I did this, but you did that, but you did that. It's like, no, those were all in reactions to you, Kim. Those were all reactions. I love that they just kept cutting to clips of her being wrong. She's like, and then I was like, I'm so sorry for what I did in your house, and then
Starting point is 00:37:38 I went outside, and then I saw John Stamos pass, and I was like, John! And they're like, no, none of that happened. John Stamos doesn't live in Malibu! And they're like, no, none of that happened. John Stamos doesn't live in Malibu. And she's like, whatever, lying editors. No, Kim, it's on the TV. Everything you just said is a lie. You're not in gravity
Starting point is 00:37:54 just because you have a space suit at home. Those girls have learned from a very early age to fight dirty. Kim has learned. That is some ingrained behavior. And Kyle just cries. That's her go-to.
Starting point is 00:38:09 She does cry, but I feel like within good reason. I mean... Yeah, yeah, she's completely beat down. That's the cry of somebody that's been dealing with that her whole life. Yeah, because Kyle is the more... Kyle is the more responsible one.
Starting point is 00:38:20 I mean, I don't know what Kathy is really like. I mean, Kathy seems like she's probably terrible. She's God. Yeah, but like, I mean, that is, you know, she has had this. She has no sense. She has no fashion sense. Well, it's probably frustrating. Why are we talking about helping Kim?
Starting point is 00:38:33 You know, all this talk about helping Kim and they're letting Kathy walk around dressed like that is a multi-cazillionaire. No, someone help Kathy. Kim is hopeless. Let's start concentrating on Kathy. I think Kathy's trying to be incogn Kathy. I think Kathy's trying to be incognito. I think she's trying to hide. She's too embarrassed. She's too smart for this shit. She's got an internet
Starting point is 00:38:51 porn star daughter with millions of dollars. She's on this high horse, which I don't get. Your husband has hotels. Great. Your daughter's basically a whore on the internet. Stop bragging. Calm yourself down. Get some MyFitnessPal. Get some clothes that fit you. And comb your damn hair. You're wealthy.
Starting point is 00:39:06 You have no excuse. In LA, she would. Yeah. Well, that's true, yeah. We have different score keepings here. Yeah, exactly. My daughter had the bravery to swallow a load on the internet. Mother of the year.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Like some people have those bumper stickers like, my son is the star in soccer she's like my daughter swallowed a load and there's like a little stick figure with paris with something dripping from her mouth and then went to jail do you remember when paris went to jail and then when she got out a day later the media frenzy oh my god i'm gonna become a dj and then remember she she was i my i used to live in an apartment in West Hollywood at that time. And so I wasn't – I guess I wasn't that far away from – Paris' house was like just up from the Sunset Strip. And I was on the other side of the Sunset Strip on the south side.
Starting point is 00:39:55 And the helicopters were – The side of the tracks. The other side of the tracks. Helicopters were hovering overhead for like 48 hours straight. It was insane. Yeah, it was live on CNN when they were going to Iran. It was insane. Yeah, it was live on CNN when they were going to Iran. It was huge.
Starting point is 00:40:07 It was like you would have thought like this was like a presidential assassination or something. It was such a crazy big deal. It was so fun though, wasn't it? Yeah. Please somebody make those bumper stickers for the back of the cars.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Those family stickers on the back window of Paris just having a load please so then well the big thing also that the episode ended on I mean we didn't even talk about Lisa Rinna's little dance a lot of stuff here still
Starting point is 00:40:35 but the big thing though with Kyle and Kim though was Kyle basically being like I don't have to be at your daughter's wedding it's okay I don't have to be at your daughter's wedding. It's okay. I don't have to be. Oh, that was so hard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:48 That was harsh. And then when she said, the only reason why I ever try to make things work between us is because I love your children like my own and I want them like in my life. I want them in my kid's life. That was like, yeesh,
Starting point is 00:40:58 that was like intense. Yeah. And then, and she was, I mean, she was, you know, beside her.
Starting point is 00:41:04 She was like sobbing she could barely gasp for air that was not those were not crocodile tears I'm sorry yeah Kyle's not that good
Starting point is 00:41:11 of an actress she was so evil she was like yeah whatever she's got a little bite on her finger it's like she's in a cast
Starting point is 00:41:19 she had to have like multiple surgeries the fact that Kim is gonna is going to next week take the side of a dog versus her niece is to me totally reprehensible oh yeah well did her niece ever frolic with her in bed while she
Starting point is 00:41:33 was trying to make it no yeah that's true and also the whole harry thing because i did think for a i had like a brief moment where I was sort of like Lisa is being way too like maybe she does like why is Lisa being like so nice to her maybe there is something to this but then I it was also petty and silly
Starting point is 00:41:58 and I was just sort of like I do think she was put up to it to say it and I don't know Brandy it was classy to say what it was, because I don't like ruining family. Here's this, Brandy hears like third, fourth hand gossip,
Starting point is 00:42:12 and then she passes on as if it's fact. She probably tells Kim like, well, I heard this. I don't know, you should, if you, you know,
Starting point is 00:42:18 next time Lisa speaks up to you, you should say this to her, and that will shut her up. You should do that. She'll probably sit there, murmuring that into her ear for weeks on end and then find that the chance comes and and so kim will again well then kim teases her with this this knowledge that she has i've heard people been saying when it's only brandy but of course since kim hears voices she
Starting point is 00:42:37 probably hears like three brandy voices and sounds like a choir i don't know can't brandy also make fun of people's looks they're they're low like go eat your hair is ugly like go eat something yeah that's always bugged me about that like you guys are all struggling to be thin the first time we saw brandy in a bikini she looked like et yeah and that was like a way better face than what she's currently got. But she looked like E.T. Like, what? You're going to call someone else anorexic? You're a fucking drug addict.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Stop. What are you doing? Just stop. Yeah. I don't know. I just wish they had taken my family member's advice, who was like, I've done everything I'm supposed to my whole life, and now I want to drink. Fuck off. And we're like, all right. That's just it.
Starting point is 00:43:24 It's like, just please don't throw your suit down on the ground in a restaurant and call the waiter something racist. Thanks. That's how to do it. And that whole thing where Brandy's big comeback is, you've had the same wig for 20 years! And Lisa's like,
Starting point is 00:43:40 you're damn right I have! And then she gives her the double fingers and starts doing a dance. That's how to deal with an addiction. You know, Lisa's addiction is to a wig from the 80s. So she's just embracing it. And she's like, fuck, yeah, it is. And then she goes on Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood or whatever in a really long wig just as another fuck you to Brandy. And then she posts a picture with the dog that Harry supposedly fucked as her blog on Bravo.
Starting point is 00:44:04 I mean, that's how to do it. That's exactly how you do it. Yeah, Kim needs to just pay attention and take some lessons, okay? Because school's in session, guys. Do people still say that? School's in session, alright? You just got schooled, girl!
Starting point is 00:44:21 I'm sure Lisa Rinna says it, except she has a baby at the end. You just got schooled baby baby oh that was the best oh whatever baby come out with it baby like Frank Sinatra like in a casino
Starting point is 00:44:36 trying to get a drink baby that's right Sammy baby you seen Liza baby I said the presidential suite baby I'll come this far You seen Liza, baby? I said the presidential suite, baby! I'll come this far! By the way, Amy Phillips does such a spot-on Lisa Rinna impersonation. Oh, I want to see that.
Starting point is 00:44:58 It's amazing. Randy retweeted it and she put on Facebook, my friend Amy Phillips does these hilarious videos, you know, and put it on, which is so nice. And then someone wrote, oh, wow, I didn't know you guys were besties now. And Amy wrote back, well, we only met once, but I guess that could be besties. And I was like, ooh, slam. Wow.
Starting point is 00:45:16 And you even got Amy Phillips, like, separating herself from you. And she's, like, the nicest person on Earth. She is so wonderful. She's, like like the nicest person on earth she is so wonderful we would i think we would have her on here but i think it's a conflict of interest for her since she does stuff for watch what happens and yeah so she can't yeah that's that's an actual paycheck for her so yeah we're so we get it but she is so awesome we get your distance amy we get your distance we get it and we accept it and we're enthused but if you all if
Starting point is 00:45:45 y'all want to ever hear her you can go look through our archives you can she was on one of our episodes back yeah she's hilarious she's so funny yeah no she's yeah she does good her lease is good hustle hustler hashtag hustle she had like a baby so let me see so the rest this whole episode was basically brandy and kim on the defensive and lying. And then the editor showing clips saying that they're lying. Yeah. And then the other gross part of this is Andy looks bored the entire time until people are calling each other alcoholics and anorexics. And then he smiles.
Starting point is 00:46:19 And then he's smiling and laughing the whole fucking time. Yeah, I was actually pretty disgusted by that. I was like, you know, he does this every reunion, but there was at one point, someone said something really nasty. I forget what it was, but they cut to Andy, and he just was grinning. And I was like, oh. Andy, every time she says something below the belt, he's like, ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:46:36 His dream team, he said on in some article, I'm embarrassed that I even read it. They were like, who's your dream team of housewives if you were going to do an all-star season? He's like, Adriana, Tamara Barney, Brandy. It's like every evil, awful person, you know? Yeah. He's like one of those gays that doesn't have enough wit to come back to bully.
Starting point is 00:46:55 So he needed to get a really strong bitch behind him to tell everybody off. Yeah. Believe it or not, my dad is actually reading his book, the diary book. A lot of people love that book. Yeah. So my dad is actually reading his book, the diary book. A lot of people love that book. Yeah, so my dad is reading it, which is a big surprise. And I guess he says in the book that Andy Cohen fesses up. He's like, yeah, he loves to make people squirm. I'm like, whoa, that's really terrible.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Well, if he actually made people squirm, that would make him more fun. But he doesn't. He just kind of sits there looking all googly-eyed, misreading cue cards and stuff. And look, he's another one who would probably be fun if he had some kind of sense of, I don't even know what it is. Someone asked us last week, like, I don't get your hatred for Andy Cullen.
Starting point is 00:47:35 And I really thought about it. And I was like, I don't know either, but it's just there. It's like nature in me. Like when my dog sees a dog, another dog is hackles raise that's just how i feel i feel the hair on the back of my neck just raise and like bile come up and i just like start baring my teeth and i just want to bite them apart my my hatred isn't as strong as that but i do feel
Starting point is 00:47:59 like sometimes when when he gives that shitty grin or when he's asking really juvenile questions on watch what happens i'm just sort of like this guy is every time i'm like maybe you're just jealous ronnie because he's successful and he's like actually part of bravo while you just talk about it maybe you're just a fat jealous idiot queen and then i turn on watch what happens like thinking oh i'm gonna watch andy he's so nice and he's like all right whose winners is bigger obama's or ronald reggers and he's asking like two oscar winners like someone wrote the other day and he has two people from madman on and he's making them play like you know whose ass probably smells better kenya's or it's like come on andy like let's spin a wheel also someone said he stole our bingo game, or Katie's bingo game, more accurately.
Starting point is 00:48:46 Really? Yeah, and watch what happens. Well, good for her, though, because that's, you know, she should get something out of that. That thing's amazing. Yeah, it is. Well, she didn't get anything out of it. We can't just keep it for ourselves. Well, that's not good.
Starting point is 00:48:59 But maybe she'll get publicity and get that money, girl. Yeah, I know we're bitches on this show, but if there's ever anything you want to steal or ideas that you like, just pay us. We'll do it better. Just because we're hateful doesn't mean we're not good employees. Ask any boss I've ever had. I can
Starting point is 00:49:18 still slash your tires and have a drink with you after work. I'll wear that bad apple sticker proudly, Applebee's. I ain't afraid of you! Alright, what else do we have going on here today? Tampons. There's a lot of talk about the wine
Starting point is 00:49:33 glass, throwing the wine. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less, and a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of.
Starting point is 00:51:16 But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
Starting point is 00:51:37 I mean, it's just ridiculous to even argue it because if she threw it in her face or something, okay, but no one's dead, no one got hurt and it's not allowed to throw wine in someone's face threaten to murder them and like gut them and then what else did she do she slapped somebody i mean you have no legs to stand on brandy like i i don't even i don't even have enough anger to talk about her anymore yeah listen to me i'm deflated yeah it takes a lot out of i mean they're just uh brandy has has dug up the awful side of kim that has tortured probably her whole family and uh that's
Starting point is 00:52:15 in a way we should be thanking brandy for that because otherwise we would have thought she was just like a kooky silly lady with drug problems. I liked her better then. Remember when she used to be like, I was in the store today in the chicken section doing a chicken dance because I love chickens. And then this guy was like, hey, what are you dancing? I said, chickens, you want to come over? And then the guy comes over to her house
Starting point is 00:52:38 and she has family game night. She's like, oh, is this awkward? Sorry. How big is your dick? No, no, no. What's your favorite board game? What's your favorite movie I was in? Like, that's the Kim I love, okay?
Starting point is 00:52:47 And if it requires meth, just stay on it. Stop wasting your time with all of this nonsense. Whatever you're doing is not working, all right? Sobriety does not look good on you. It was also the last time we really ever saw her whole family together. Since then, we've seen, like, a flash of a daughter here, a flash of a son there. But they all kind of... They don't allow cameras in hospitals.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Yeah, they're kind of disposed. Sad joke about a family falling apart. Mental health issues. Hey, say what you will about Kim. She certainly knows how to make a mean chicken salad. So one thing she can do, she can look at picture frames and make a
Starting point is 00:53:25 chicken salad with her hands. Handmade. I got a new manicure with these gels that are so strong, they're better than wooden spoons. It's like having ten wooden spoons during your chicken salad at the same time. My chicken salad doesn't actually have any chicken in it, because it's just a salad that I make for chickens.
Starting point is 00:53:44 It's too crunchy for humans. Kyle broke her tooth and then tried to sue me. Bitch. Yeah. Kyle's niece, Kyle's daughter, says that a chicken tried to buy her a butt. Like, she shouldn't have been trying to chase a chicken with an axe. Oh, good. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:01 Should we just move on? Because I feel like our rage is better suited for the Shaws of Sunset. Yeah. I mean, there have been so many deliveries of sliders over the course of the past half an hour that we've been talking. I mean, I'm surprised we haven't been sidetracked into the Shaws already. Okay. The Shaws of Sunset are awful people and all deserve to die. What do you guys think?
Starting point is 00:54:23 I'm like you, Ronnie. This show is hard for me. Oh, it's not hard for me. But I do thinkset are awful people and all deserve to die. What do you guys think? I'm like you, Ronnie. This show is hard for me. Oh, it's not hard for me, but I do think they are awful people. I think, first of all, all the scenes between Gigi and Asifa are so blatantly scripted. Painful. Oh, that Asifa is just painful to watch. Yeah, she really is. And, yeah, pretty much every scene with Asifa, because Asifa and her boyfriend,
Starting point is 00:54:45 they're also like very scripted. It's just really. She's like, we always fight. How come you didn't kiss me when you woke up? Oh, your breath is bad. Why don't you buy me some shoes? How come you don't like my name? It's like Cheerios.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Be quiet. Yeah. And then Gigi's new thing is she has rheumatoid arthritis, which I think someone posted on our Facebook page that she got R.A. tattooed on her finger. No. Which is like the stupidest thing. No.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Hey, you know what helps with arthritis? Getting a tattoo right on your knuckle. Oh, my God. I'm still trying to get rid of the flu. R.A. Rock. The flu tattoo that I put on my ass last Christmas. I know.
Starting point is 00:55:23 I have a tattoo on my butt that says common cold. Because I always get it. So I'm like a survivor. I've got gingivitis tattooed on my neck. Gang symbols. I've got hangnail tattooed on my knee. Because I got one. Wet toes on my ankle.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Oh my. Eating disorder. Binge eating disorder on my ankle. Eating disorder. Binge eating disorder on my belly button. Strep throat on my nipple. I like the idea of putting those tattoos nowhere close to the actual diseased part of your body. It's like wart on my toe, on your neck. Yeah, plantar wart right by my eye. it's like in the shape of a teardrop But if you look at the teardrop, it says plantar wart
Starting point is 00:56:09 Well, this episode started with Jessica And Mike in their house And Jessica's just like She's like, wow, I'm just so shocked I'm so shocked That she would do this to us I mean, how could she do okay you know what i'd be asking the next morning uh did you try and fuck gg you drunk idiot and who else have
Starting point is 00:56:33 you tried to fuck and i was looking at your instagram and all these whores that you're talking back to on instagram you fucking them too motherfucker i just became a Jew for you you think that shit's easy yeah but well first of all this scene was probably filmed like five days later second of all um she probably said that stuff immediately in the car third of all she's so obsessed with becoming a wife especially a wife to someone who's on tv that she's willing to give him a pass because if you not to get ahead of ourselves but when he did pop the question she said yes she just kept on saying i'm'm going to be a wife! I'm going to be a wife! I was like, oh my god, shut up. Why can't we get more Botox in my mouth? You could have married
Starting point is 00:57:09 20 teenagers by now. What are you doing? Is the water what she's been injecting into her face? Because something is not right with Jessica's face anymore. She went too far. When she was skydiving, her face didn't even move in the skydive wind. I know.
Starting point is 00:57:23 When she was skydiving, her face didn't even move in the skydive wind. I know. The professional skydiver was hiding behind her face to protect his own. I know. Jesus, woman, when you look like a motorcycle helmet, it's time to stop. It's true, though. She is a frozen face. She looks like she's going for a Jennifer Lopez. I don't know what she's true though. She is a frozen face. She looks like she's going for a Jennifer Lopez.
Starting point is 00:57:47 I don't know what she's going for. I even think that she may have had a chin implant. But I don't know. Someone could do it before and after. Things are frozen and puffed up. That's for sure. Let it go. I'll tell you who should not do anything to their face. Me.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Is Mike's assistant, Garrett. Holy shit. That guy? Yeah, that was the worst acting I've ever seen. He's like, hey Mike, we've got to get these papers done. And Mike's like, oh man, you tell him if those papers aren't signed and if that
Starting point is 00:58:19 sweep, if he doesn't sweep the walk, I'm going to tell him off on the rental property. I'm so stressed, man. Look what Gigi's doing to me. Oh, she's changing my personality. Shut up. You don't even go to work. That ain't even your office. That's a Starbucks. I wasn't paying attention to any of that. I was just looking at Garrett.
Starting point is 00:58:36 He's like a hot Crispin Glover. Oh. Didn't you guys see it? No, I didn't because I was writing what it used to be. I watched this show through my side eyes because I can't look at it face on. I know. Side eye only with this show.
Starting point is 00:58:51 There are a lot of unpleasant images to see on this show. A lot of hairy images. A lot of hairy, unpleasant. You know what it is? unpleasant you know what it is and i and i really there is some kind of weird brew stew magic that andy is able to do with some shows and i always used to say it's aspirational and beverly hills is always my favorite because it's aspirational and like you know we talk a lot of shit but there's a part of me that would be fine being Kyle. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:59:30 Demi Moore lookalike, lives in Beverly Hills with a hot husband, has relatively kind of ugly taste, but it'll do. There are worse things than to be Kyle Richards. Yes, of course. You know what I mean? You could be Kim Richards. Yeah, exactly. But I'm saying Beverly Hills here is just a little dry. It's a little bit glamorous every once in a while uh you know denise richards or waltz there is
Starting point is 00:59:48 but you know and um but i think with like shahs there's just there's not it's just all the flash and nothing else it's like all these people who are whose parents are living in hovels in east hollywood while they're driving around $10,000 a month. I mean, here's why it's not aspirational. Because one of the cast members literally lives across the street from me. There's nothing to aspire to. I'm aspiring to across the street. Yeah, they're selling a phony product.
Starting point is 01:00:20 Yeah, but I will say this, though. I love MJ's dogs. And I'm not even that much of a dog person. Her dogs are so hilarious to me. Pablo, the way Pablo was scratching his face against the couch. Or at one point when Reza was doing a Vita impersonation. And I don't know if anyone knows it, but the little dog was pawing at the couch. Did anyone see that?
Starting point is 01:00:40 It was like, I rewatched it like 10 times in a row. No, because I was watching that one while I was chopping vegetables. I think Angie and I have the same view of this show i'm like i'll do this while i'm cleaning yeah i guess maybe you're not watching what you're supposed to be yeah because i was watching the dog i was watching but the dog was so funny i'm maybe i'll put it on vine later because they're talking and this this dog just has his hands up like he wants to be part of the fun but can't and then it slowly retracts and his hands slowly slide off the couch. I was like, oh, that's like my childhood. One thing
Starting point is 01:01:08 that I will give this show credit for is it's amazing how it can make me really like some of these idiots sometimes and then hate them again the very next week and then like them. Reza, I saw in my neighborhood a few times. I think he was dating one of my neighbors or something or hangs out with one of my neighbors.
Starting point is 01:01:23 That's so Persian. Persian people love hanging out in neighborhoods. I would walk past him while I was walking Bueller and I would just look at him like, ew. I felt myself sneering. You know, like when you get to that age where nothing's hidden anymore, you're just like, and you pass people.
Starting point is 01:01:39 Do you guys do that? Well, I guess I'm older than you, but I'm hitting that age where I don't hide anything and I'm just like, Hey, grass, like the worst things walking down the street, like quote unquote, under my breath air quotes. But, um,
Starting point is 01:01:51 anyway, I do that to him and I'm like, you can't, it's not reasonable to hate somebody like that from TV. But then weeks like this week, he was so funny. Yeah. That I,
Starting point is 01:02:01 now I totally love him. Yeah. When he was doing his, when he was doing his Vida impersonation, that was kind of amazing. Oh, so you're a Jew? You're a Jew man? So you have money? You have no money?
Starting point is 01:02:14 No house? You think you're going to be good enough for my daughter? So what do you want with my MJ? He's like, Evil doesn't die! Okay? Vida's gonna be around She's here so we're all gonna die before her Evil doesn't die okay
Starting point is 01:02:31 Make Vida happy Okay if you need me call me on this number I'll come save you Poor guy Honestly Vida did not disappoint Wow is she a cold bitch She is so evil.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Whenever I watch the show. Why you make me eggs? You're supposed to make what mommy would like to eat. She, like, when I watch the show, I'm like, I can't believe. She is, like, so nasty and yet so entertaining to watch. I mean, she is really an evil, nasty, awful person. Probably one of the worst people on Bravo. But she's so entertaining.
Starting point is 01:03:05 Yeah, she's in that. she's in that she's from that mama joy school and you know i and i when i was watching this that that's what kept going through my mind the whole thing was like poor mj every problem in that poor girl's life from the way she looks to her inability to be in a relationship it's the same with candy that mother it's from it's from it's from the mother she didn't cheat and cheaten vita because remember she was the one who cheated on the dad well but yeah but just the way she treats her the way she talked their whole relationship is completely toxic and i actually like i think that mj is lucky that she actually found like a very sweet humble yeah nice guy to treat her well.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Yeah. Good for her. Yeah, because that is tough. I mean, Vida does not give anything. When MJ says, hey mom, don't you think he's handsome and tall? And she's like, why do you say
Starting point is 01:04:02 he's tall? No, he's not tall. He's 6'1". This is normal. 6'1 is normal. it's tall? No, it's not tall. That's not tall. This is normal. 6'1 is normal. I'm like, no, it's not. No, it's not normal. You won't even... It's the same way. That's cute and charming if you're a sexy 25-year-old and
Starting point is 01:04:19 you can see past all that because you're going to be with this woman and you're willing to put up with anything to be with her. But you know, MJ is older and you know, she's, she's a big girl and she's a little bit of a prima donna. So like, I just feel sort of bad for her because I'm like this poor guy and then he has to put up with that bullshit too. Like, God, I was just sort of like, you know know she's got to do like candy and sort of respect her mother but she needs she's got to put up some boundaries yeah i think she i think she's probably a lot better at putting up boundaries than candy that's for sure i mean i think maybe i don't know
Starting point is 01:04:54 not i'm not that much better but like i don't know i mean but but vita when she gets so upset like when when mj said oh you know what thing i you know what thing i cook that what's his face my well i don't remember his name andy adam whatever that he likes and she's like how would i know what he likes i met him 15 minutes ago jesus yeah like well yeah won't even entertain a rhetorical aspect of the question that that should be like a high holidays situation only. You know what I mean? You see her on absolute necessary holidays and the rest of the time
Starting point is 01:05:32 short phone calls and emails. Well, that's what will happen, especially if a baby comes in the picture. Well. Which may not happen. You little fat baby. Do you want to look like your mother?
Starting point is 01:05:43 Keep eating off that nipple. That's disgusting, you little pervert. Your baby likes nipples. Pervert! Kill baby! Jew baby. So greedy for milk. She's a nasty, nasty woman, that woman.
Starting point is 01:05:56 She is. If anything, she should be like, you know, the fact of the matter is she's just like Joyce. She's miserable, so MJ's got to be miserable. She's going to try and sabotage it. There should be the real nasty moms of Bravo. Yes. The real grandmothers of whatever. It would be Joyce, Mama Joyce.
Starting point is 01:06:15 It would be this one. You probably should put Patricia in from Southern Charm. Even though she's wonderful, she probably is not a good person. She's evil. Probably put her in. Who are the other evil mothers? You have to put a nice one in there. Put that nice Christian girl who was
Starting point is 01:06:31 on Real Housewives of Orange County for one season. What was her name? Oh, yeah. Put her pots on. Rollercoaster girl. Lydia. She's always shaking her shoulder. Well, Mama Elsa is probably too nice, so she probably shouldn't go on.
Starting point is 01:06:50 Oh, what about, well, no. Dr. Karen Sierra. Mama Elsa would be amazing. Okay, Mama Elsa. We're supposed to be putting the nasty ones. And Vida would make an amazing show. What about Dr. Karen Sierra's mother? I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.
Starting point is 01:07:08 There's so many great mothers. Aren't there any good ones in Beverly Hills? No, because you can't even tell their mothers. They just look like Chuck E. Cheese animatronic things. They don't even look old. New York? Are there any
Starting point is 01:07:23 past aggressive grandmothers? Or... No, New Jersey? I guess not. Yeah, okay. I sign off on that show. No, they don't have the same sense of family, apparently, on the East Coast
Starting point is 01:07:33 as they do here. On the East Coast, they're like, my mom's a bitch, so I don't talk to her anymore. Well, there's Rosie's mom. Rosie and Kathy's mom is nice, but she wouldn't be good on the show.
Starting point is 01:07:43 I mean, oh, that's true. The Jersey moms. Oh, my God. The Judaize mother. But she wouldn't be good on the show. I mean, oh, that's true. The Jersey moms. Oh my god, the Judaize mother. But she doesn't really talk. You know? Yeah, but you can tell she's miserable. She raised Joe. Yeah, that's true. That's true, too.
Starting point is 01:07:57 She's gotta have something in her. Just leave the camera on her long enough. And Kim's on her way. Yeah. Kim is on her way. Or Kim Zolciak. Oh, Kim Zol her way. Yeah. Kim is on her way. Or Kim Zolciak. Oh, Kim Zolciak's mom. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:09 Oh, my God. My own daughter makes me piss it up for the party at a wedding. But you know what? Kim is smart. She shot her down. She was like, oh, you're going to be an asshole? Leave. Like, Kim don't care.
Starting point is 01:08:20 You know, Kim is like, she's number one. Like, she don't care if that is her mother. Yeah. I mean, and sometimes, like like that's how you have to be yeah um so what else here well mike is trying to defend himself reza and vita evil don't like mike gg giving dating advice what was that about i don't even know was that? I don't remember that part. I think it was to Asifa, where she's like, well, you know, you guys have to see
Starting point is 01:08:50 if you're right for each other, and then you've got to, like, you know, go the full road to get... Who are you talking about? You're fucking Jax. Like, Jax is talking about how he wants to fuck you on Twitter. Can we not take advice from Gigi?
Starting point is 01:09:02 Yeah. You got R8 tattooed on... About anything. Yeah, you got... You got rheumatoid arthritis. I just want one scene of her with an IV in her arm next to Daisy with legit cancer from blood, sweat, and
Starting point is 01:09:15 heels. And let's see who cries harder, bitch. Who's going to work? Who is going to a legit job and is like, don't tell nobody, I don't want any help. Dignity and grace. She's like, like, don't tell nobody. I don't want any help. Yeah. Like, yeah. Dignity and grace. She's like, I can't have a baby because I can't even hold the baby.
Starting point is 01:09:30 Like, no, please. Oh, God. Yeah, exactly. Thank God for some. That's called natural selection. Thank God for small miracles. I didn't know that. I didn't know that, like, that women with rheumatoid arthritis couldn't have, like, kids.
Starting point is 01:09:41 And I can't do it. They can't, Ben. They can't. That's God's way of stopping you from shaking that baby. The thought of Gigi with a baby is beyond disturbing.
Starting point is 01:09:54 That baby would be through a glass table in two seconds. Screw this baby! Crash. That baby was mean to me. That baby tried to have sex with me. It wanted my nipple. Accusing a baby of like slight rape oh my god it's true um okay what else here uh sepa's unbearable i wrote rheumatoid arthritis can't hold baby no hand jobs so then the main thing i think is that mike got engaged then he went he got and he he took jessica up in a Rolls Royce, which he drove.
Starting point is 01:10:27 You know, it's funny. On yesterday's podcast, I made a little bit of a rant about Lululemon and Under Armour polo shirts. So here's another pet peeve. And this is a pet peeve that I think I will never actually have to encounter personally. But, like, if you have a Rolls Royce, like, and you're driving the Rolls Royce, like, you're supposed to be a passenger in a Rolls Royce.
Starting point is 01:10:53 The whole point of the Rolls Royce is you're supposed to have a chauffeur and you're supposed to be a passenger. Sitting in the driver's seat of a Rolls Royce is ghost. Well, no, it's a whole thing. That's why I'm saying it's a pet peeve. It's not a big deal. Like when people drive one of those black sedans you're like what are you what are you a taxi driver like did somebody call you to pick me up what are you doing that's what i'm saying it's like it's become normalized like wealthy people drive rolls royces around like that's become the
Starting point is 01:11:17 thing but like the truth is they're it's not you should be driven you're supposed to be driven in them so like it always cracks me up so when he he's like, yeah, I got our Rolls Royce, I'm like, but you didn't get the driver. Like, hey, baby, I'm driving a Hummer bus. I got us a party bus. I'm the driver. You go back there.
Starting point is 01:11:38 Help yourself to some bottled water on the way back. I got us a horse-drawn carriage. You get in the back. I got us a horse-drawn carriage. You get in the back, I got the horses. It's just so silly to me. I don't know. I know I should be so lucky to ever be in a position where I could drive a Rolls-Royce. But, you know,
Starting point is 01:12:00 I just have to say it. The whole irony of, like, let's jump out of a plane when we could die while he's proposing. It's the exact opposite of that one movie. Very short engagement. That was truly, honestly, I think it was one of the most annoying proposals I've ever seen on TV.
Starting point is 01:12:21 There've been a lot of annoying ones, but first of all, you know, I don't like, I'm not a big fan of stunt proposals. I also feel like if I were the lady being proposed to,
Starting point is 01:12:32 I don't know if I want a, like, hey, will you marry me? And then he jumps out of the plane. Like, I want to, like, share in that moment with that person, right? Like, it's not even so much about, like, the stunt, but the fact that, like, asking the question and then, like, disappearing, you know?
Starting point is 01:12:48 Yeah, yeah. When she's chained to another man. She's, like, tied to the man who has to fly down with her. Yeah. And she's, like, shaking so controllably on him, he probably got a halfie on the way down. Like, this is the least romantic thing you could have possibly done.
Starting point is 01:13:03 I know. And then, you know, this is going to be a very superficial comment i understand but uh she has the most annoying sob sounds of all time she's like oh my god that was ridiculous she sounds like a siren that never goes back up. It's just the... It was like that, and then she just kept on sobbing and sobbing. I'm gonna be a wife! This ring looks really good on me!
Starting point is 01:13:35 Oh, God. It's like, shut the fuck up. I hope the plane crashes on your face. Some man wants me forever! What a way. What happened, feminists? Where... I know. I know.
Starting point is 01:13:46 I know. That's exactly what I was thinking. I know. Congratulations on achieving your life dream. Of having some man approve of you now that your face looks like a tattoo. Watch her get mad being like, I can't believe for a very special proposal you had to do it on camera while wearing the most
Starting point is 01:14:02 like, the least flattering outfit of all time. I'm in a big sack you just know that's what's gonna be one of her things yeah that shows pretty sad and awful but you know it's made me like Reza again this week and MJ too so I like it this show
Starting point is 01:14:18 is a miracle worker you've got to hand it to Ryan Seacrest because Andy has nothing to do with this one this is all Ryan Seacrest I like. I like the show. He's also behind the Carduchians. Yeah. I like the show, but I have to say what I like the most
Starting point is 01:14:33 is transitioning from Shaz to Southern Charm because then things get classy again. I think that since Ryan Seacrest, I know that was a segue but I just have to say real quick, I think that since Ryan Seacrest is now like an Andy Cohen producing all these hit shows, that he should be the Andy Cohen in the
Starting point is 01:14:49 reunions. Because I would, he's actually like kind of journalistic. I mean, I know he's like red carpet journalistic. He would just be like, what are you wearing? But still, like, we could see his mouth open really wide. I love that. He would just be making jokes the entire time. Yeah. He'd be like, fist entire time yeah uh he'd be like uh like fist bumping
Starting point is 01:15:08 everybody he'd be like that that australian guy with the sunglasses who interviewed the real housewives of melbourne who's like oh that's a lovely lovely outfit you know you're just wonderful i think you think you're wonderful i think i think everyone in the in the audience would agree that you were just lovely to see them remember that guy alex perry or something yeah he's the one who was like oh you know what i'll just think that this is all about bullying it's systematic bullying and i gotta quit because people are so mean on twitter because he was going against gino yeah and people are like you're gonna die and he's like people giving me death threats he's like the the people from the pizza company thehating pizza company. It's like people wanted me to close down my pizza shop. I'm making no sense now.
Starting point is 01:15:49 No, no. I got it. I was like inhaling as you said it. So then I had to exhale in order to say something. Yeah, take me like a drug. Take my nonsense rants as a drug, Ben. Is everyone ready to go to Charleston? Yes.
Starting point is 01:16:03 Home of the latest racially infused murder. You know, I have to say, like, I kind of was reading about that because I going back to what I said before, I should not like this show. This show is quite aspirational. If you I mean, it is, but it's not, but I mean, Charleston is so beautiful. These are people who have real money. And I just like,
Starting point is 01:16:32 all I want, if they literally just follow Patricia or not even Patricia, they could follow that Butler around my house. That's all I want. Me too. I just, all I want to do is dusting off figurines and like dust bustering Boas. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:43 And I mean, not even house but like because these are technically plantations but like t-rex plantation just like the kitchen i mean these people do nothing they were just given all of this exactly and they don't and they don't really get into fights the way other bravos are they don't gossip no they don't care they don't i mean they they care. They get into spats and they do gossip, but it's really in a different...
Starting point is 01:17:09 They give each other shit, but they're real adults. I mean, this is a weird show because this is Whitney just being like, you guys want to be in a reality show? I'm going to produce it. And they're like, okay. And the funny thing is that Whitney is the one who looks like the biggest idiot. I know. Whitney is the worst.
Starting point is 01:17:24 He's the one who's struggling to be idiot i know winnie is the worst he's the one who's struggling to be a reality star and be douchey and be cool he is such a douche he is he succeeded in the douche department the worst complete with every douche's favorite accessory a fucking terrible hairpiece oh my goodness and the only thing worse is he covers up the terrible hairpiece with a jumbas clown room hat. When I saw that hat, I was like, oh, you're that motherfucker. Like, you are that guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:54 Making up songs about Seventh Veil over here on Sunset. By the way, that's, so to the right of me is MJ, to the left of me is Seventh Veil. I'm pinned in by Bravo references. That's terrible. I'm texting that, that no i can't go to starbucks right now i'm in a very important conversation on southern charles i know i would love some starbucks but my stomach can't handle it this show is like i i mean i'm from there so i i like to see it and it reminds me of a lot of stuff and i like north carolina right, I'm from the South. But meaning you're, because this is in South Carolina.
Starting point is 01:18:28 You're a North Carolina fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it does, I mean, I'm from the South. I wasn't saying it in a, like, you're not, I wasn't challenging you. I was more like just isolating where in the South you're from. Wait, where are you from? North Carolina, did you say? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:36 I thought you were from Fort Worth. No. Man, I suck. I told everybody on the podcast you're from Fort Worth. I'm an idiot. Sorry, hon. The thing that, so, I don't know. Like, whenever I look at these guys, and especially, you know,
Starting point is 01:18:51 there is a very distinct lack of color on this show. And I think that the one. Well, Catherine does have red hair, if that's what you mean. I think about those idiots. Listen, gingers are a minority, alright? Black woman. I think about the idiots on that bus singing that fraternity song
Starting point is 01:19:11 in those blue blazers. And then, because that's who this is. And then there was the horrible shooting yesterday in Charleston. On the poor side of Charleston. It was not over where these people live. It was like on the side, but I did notice cause I follow a lot of these people on Twitter and,
Starting point is 01:19:30 um, Cameron, who I actually think is quite lovely. She was saying that she brought it up and she said that the show is, does not represent Charleston in the best light as far as diversity. And she said, she thinks that's wrong. So she's right.
Starting point is 01:19:44 And, um, cause there is a whole side, a real, a really bad side of charleston and that's right am i am i well i mean it's a completely segregated town right and yeah yeah but i mean it was also built by slaves and there's a very strong historical context about slavery and people from charleston talk about it they're very open about it. I mean, it's part of the culture and the history of Charleston. But I mean, it's just like,
Starting point is 01:20:09 it's weird just because this show is so white. You never, you don't even see any black, like people working in the stores and the restaurants. Or Mexicans or anybody really. Yeah. There's like a white blonde lady in the kitchen at Generalissimo, I guarantee. And he's white.
Starting point is 01:20:24 I mean, even the homosexual looks like he fell off a fucking pink unicorn truck from some other town. It's like some dinner theater kicked him out of Florida and he showed up here on accident and stayed. If you have freckles, you were like opening up the latest. If you have freckles on this show, then you were like representing like the NAACP. That's as close close as well on the first uh reunion last year uh Andy was asking about that and the civil war and comments that Thomas Ravenel had made about it and he's like listen my father wasn't you know against the civil war he just didn't want he just didn't like that people had to die oh your father's such a good fucking person fighting for the wrong side on the Civil War.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Maybe people wouldn't have had to die had they not been insisting on keeping slaves and beating them to death. Yeah. So let's just forget about that part. Yeah. My grandfather was a wonderful man. He just didn't like violence
Starting point is 01:21:20 unless it was directed at his slave, of course, because he owned them. Like, oh, my God. I feel like it's interesting when we talk about like when you mentioned like uh angie like the whole sae uh bus racial incident whatever and it's true because you know you do see these people and and that's like a trademark of this wealthy genteel southern white class of like you know seemingly perfect and friendly on the outside and beautiful and then harboring these very racist um feelings on the inside i feel like shep and cameron um those are the two that first spring to mind of people who i would who i don't believe are
Starting point is 01:21:59 actually like that i think they actually like very progressive i wouldn't be surprised if craig was a little bit like that i wouldn't be surprised if Craig was a little bit like that. I wouldn't be surprised if Whitney was like that, believe it or not. Because as much as he tries to be all trendy and Jumbo's a clown, he is a full-on conservative. I wouldn't be surprised if T-Rab was a little bit like that. Well, there's just something
Starting point is 01:22:17 about, I know that this sounds so stupid to say, but I'm going to say it anyway because it's the truth. There is such a thing about just growing up in white culture. I mean, I grew up in Texas and my half my family is Lebanese, so they knew nothing about being white. So that kind of that's why I guess I'm free making fun of every minority. But then my white side of the family is from Indiana, which is an extremely racist town. And when the town they were from salem indiana was
Starting point is 01:22:45 when we went into a grandees to eat one black person came in and the entire restaurant stared at this black person and it's like you know the things they think about gay people or the things they've said to me over the years about gayness i've just had to and the things they say about minorities of all kinds just the things that come out of people's mouths are so despicable but at the the same time, you're like, that's what they believe because that's how they were raised. And we just need to keep stamping it out with generation to generation because it's almost like they don't know better. I mean, and I know we all know better, but I don't know. It's like if you were raised in a crazy religion and then you realize as an adult that it was crazy, but you're still there's still part of you that's like praying to Jesus if you're at a stoplight, you know to buck, but you would think that they would make a concerted effort to fight that and even just stick some like black people in,
Starting point is 01:23:50 like if they're having a party scene or if they're like, I did notice in the fashion show, he had black models on the wall. And I know there are black people in Charleston and I know they socialize with some of them, but you would sort of think like Whitney, cause I actually have talked to friends from Charleston and friends who are kind of from that kind of social group that I grew up with. And they're like, this show is a disgrace.
Starting point is 01:24:12 Like, they're totally embarrassed. And that's like the kind of thing that they do not want. That's not the impression they want to make. And this show is one of those shows. I mean, Whitney really did pull it together as one of his stupid little projects. And we see his projects. It's like a documentary on Versace or whatever or whoever it was. It's just terrible projects.
Starting point is 01:24:33 And it was that year that Bravo picked up like 50 shows. Do you remember that? Last year they picked up like 60 shows or something ridiculous and just threw everything at a wall that they possibly could. And this one happened to stick. And I don't think that anybody even thought about the racial diversity because it's Whitney putting it together, just his friends. And you know,
Starting point is 01:24:53 he doesn't know any black people. I mean, look at his mother. His mother is like the quintessential Southern asshole. You know, she's just a fucking asshole. Even though she's hilarious to us, you know,
Starting point is 01:25:03 she's an awful girl. You would just think that people would be more sensitive and be like, we really want to dispel ideas about the South. Well, you would hope so. I mean, he can't just make a friend. He can't just bring a black person on as a cast member when he doesn't know them.
Starting point is 01:25:18 Here's my friend from LA and Thomas Ravenel would be like, oh, well, you know those Hollywood tops making art and comedy and such well not even like that racial diversity of the show i guess just because when i look at it and i hear those accents and i see a lack and they're saying oh my plantation i'm just like oh god like somebody do something to make us stop thinking like y'all are all you know yeah what you are yeah i agree but i think that at this point if they did that you know if they brought
Starting point is 01:25:52 on like a black person it would be uh or any minority really it would be so awkward because it would be obvious they were just doing that you know to be politically correct right don't you yeah they would be doing it to be politically correct but it also it would be like so you like basketball i mean could you imagine this cast around a black yeah they wouldn't even know what to do with themselves or maybe if they even just talked about the history like if thomas said like well the reason we call you know plantation is kind of a loaded word but this is the reason i don't know if somebody just how about they just have landon how about landon goes off to sea and then she comes back and she's like guess who i found at sea a black man and he comes on board listen even if even if they're doing it just to be
Starting point is 01:26:33 politically correct sometimes it's like you know that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world no and i actually like landon too she lived in la i do like her also yeah she we've all we're all from a kind of more progressive places and um i think that we just i think part of the reason this show is fun is because it's from somewhere that's not really caught up at all it's like its own little planet like when i look at it it looks like a movie set it looks yeah to me it just looks completely crazy it's a world i don't understand i mean i'm from texas but that ain't the real South. I mean, I'm from Mexico. I'm from Mexico. I'm from it really reminds me, it honestly really reminds
Starting point is 01:27:10 me of college. And it's funny, because I went to college in the Northeast. I've mentioned this before in the podcast. But, you know, growing up in the Northeast, you know, I grew up in Westchester, New York, which is a pretty preppy area, you know, it was like a pretty standard thing that you'd be wearing khakis places. And then, you know, then you go to standard thing that you'd be wearing khakis places and then you know then you go to going to college in new hampshire it's just more khakis and fleece and things like that and so obviously at a university or college you know there'll be people from all across the country and so there were people obviously from across the country and there was a there was a very there were a lot of people from the south you know sort of like equally represented not
Starting point is 01:27:43 equally but like you know like a normal representation of that and you'd see them and i wouldn't think like oh look at those southern people look at that but it's more like in hindsight when i look now living in la which is a totally different place than the northeast or the south yeah but when you when you come here and you see that people aren't wearing khakis or are dressed differently and i've been out here 13 years and i've sort of gotten used to the way people look in L.A., etc. So then when I see these people on Southern Charm, it reminds me, oh, my God, that looks so much like the guys who were in Sayu, you know? And I realize back then they just seemed like they were the Sayu guys.
Starting point is 01:28:19 They were a little preppier than I was, but they were the Sayu guys. But now looking back, it's like, oh, my God, there was actually a huge cultural gap there that I sort of didn't even realize until I sort of stepped out of like, those people look like their fathers. They look like their grandfather, like their kids are going to look like that. Like that's like that whole preppy aesthetic and that lifestyle never changes. Right.
Starting point is 01:28:39 And I think there's a lot of like value in that too. There's like something really great about that. And then there's also something, you know, that like, uh, I don't want to say scary, but like, like there's something very limiting about that too there's like something really great about that and then there's also something you know that like i don't want to say scary but like like there's something very limiting about that too yeah well one thing maybe on kind of a deeper level sorry but one thing that this is making me think of is like real life and how real life isn't very integrated you know i mean i was at a wedding recently and it was all white people i mean there were hundreds of people there there were two black people and they were a couple in the whole place and i was like really and i kind of look around and i'm like are we really still segregate because now i feel
Starting point is 01:29:16 like we're self-segregating i know in austin there's a diverse community but it's i've never seen that many white people and maybe it's because i'm from el paso but a lot of people a lot of black people live in austin but not in the same places necessarily it feels like the world is self-segregating well that's probably economic i think a lot of that's like economic like here there's mexican neighborhoods there's jewish neighborhoods well that's also but that's also that's it's weird because when you talk about immigrant sort of uh neighborhoods based on, that's, it's weird because when you talk about immigrant, sort of, neighborhoods based on, like, immigrant neighborhoods, et cetera, it's different because sometimes, like, if you have new people coming to the neighborhood from, you know, like, different countries or wherever, you know, sometimes you need the support of a community around you or, like, if you don't speak English as well, et cetera, like, you know, so it's like, that's a little different than self-certification. I went to Austin and crossed the tracks, like, literally crossed the train tracks over the i-35 okay and because i was asking like what you know for soul food or whatever so they were like oh well you just have to go to
Starting point is 01:30:15 this neighborhood so i went over the tracks and i was like really it's all black people this is where the black people are because for the longest time i, I was like, why is Austin so white? It's like a huge metropolitan city that's musical. And I'm not saying the whole city is like that. I'm just saying that it's a definite, if you've ever been there,
Starting point is 01:30:33 it's a definite crossing the train tracks. It's the same in Charleston. It's the same in Austin. It's the same in Durham, North Carolina. A lot of these college towns, that's what happens
Starting point is 01:30:42 because all the money is at the university and the rest of the town is impoverished. And that happens. I mean, I think that's just kind of like a natural trickle out theory. But yeah, I wondered about that. But I'll tell you one damn thing. I will be so happy to move in Patricia's neighborhood. That is a nice house.
Starting point is 01:31:01 And me with you. And me with you. I tell my friend all the time, I'm kind of like, what would it take for my good friend who's gay who does my show with me, what would it take for us to just bust into Charleston society? I'm like, you're white, I'm black, but I'm fun, and we're both Southern. I'm black, but I'm fun. What do we have to do to get in? Because I need to be in one of those houses. Yeah, think every race wonders that when they well that sounds like it'll be like how the hell did these people
Starting point is 01:31:31 do it that could that sounds like it could be like a racist sitcom where like yeah he moves he's gay you're black you guys like uh move into this into this neighborhood and he pretends to be straight and and you pretend to be his maid but then when like no one's there like you admit that you're like not his maid just so you can get in yeah one of the most freeing things that i've found in my life is being biracial like i find it to be so freeing to not have to identify as white even though the government technically does i really find it just so freeing to not have to identify with a race and if I could ever start a movement, it would not be for gay people or Mexican
Starting point is 01:32:09 people or black people. It would be for all of us to just fuck each other to the point that there is no more race. I would just love us to just all be a weird mix of pretty eyes and kinky hair and just get on with it. I think you should get Lisa from Real Housewives of Miami to get on board with your platform,
Starting point is 01:32:30 as she is an immigrant from Canada. You should tweet that at Whitney's mother and see what she thinks. Yeah, exactly. Listen, stamp out the white. My papa was like, well, you know, in 20 years latinos are going to be above the white people in the in the census and i was like so what so what who cares how is that not better like the white people don't seem to be doing that great of a job running the country let's you know let's give other people a chance yeah let's mix it up guys so you're saying you'd prefer tuna
Starting point is 01:33:00 casserole over ceviche let's's start hating each other over real things, like our performance at reunions, okay? Or our bad plastic surgery. Well, the point is, this show, nothing happens, but it's so beautiful that I'm compelled to watch it. Right. Well, some things did happen this week. So, first of all, the episode, we've been talking about it.
Starting point is 01:33:23 Good luck with that segue. I'm like, I'm done. I'm like, we've got race. I'm like, I'm done. I'm like, we've got race. I'm like, I'm ready to go fuck a Latino girl without a condom. It is the Republican elephant in the room. And it would be pink because it's Charleston. Yeah. No, so it pretty much picked up with T-Rav katherine having that argument about his horrendous
Starting point is 01:33:46 commercial uh and then she storms off and then if i like to test out like the next day when she's like complaining about or talking about the argument to um to danny this was clearly filmed like five months later because she's suddenly like skinny again and she's like i just can't believe how i acted last night i'm like please don't like don't patronize us like we can see she's lost all her baby weight and the next scene it's all back really bothered well i just love like you know i love listening to to people that i hate on the radio it's just so entertaining for me so i listen to like i've listened to rush i've had that moment where i listen to rush i I used to listen to Dr. Laura all the time. And one thing Dr. Laura used to say that I love when people called people like her, Catherine.
Starting point is 01:34:32 Catherine would be like, well, he just totally disrespected us. And I can't believe he would do that. And Dr. Laura would be like, you're 23. You married an old person for his money, you stupid twat. This is your fault. I don't feel sorry for you. Click. Yeah. The end. end it's like conversation over that's the kind of friend she needs like what do you think you're getting into you're marrying some old rich man for his money you fucked all of his friends for his trying to get somewhere and now you're gonna try and act like
Starting point is 01:34:57 you should be jackie oh no jackie ho you don't get anything for fucking somebody when you're 21 okay you need to back the fuck down and accomplish something in your life. You don't even know how to use words properly. And she's like, listen, I'm not stupid. I majored in politics. Oh, yeah. She needs to stop saying that. I major in politics.
Starting point is 01:35:17 Don't condescend me. Don't condescend. And if Whitney's making you look stupid, that's not cute. Yeah. I felt so sorry for that girl when she was like, you know, she tried to kind of bolster herself with that cigarette and her little sad friends. And then she was sort of like, I'm Whitney. And I was just like, Whitney just kind of crushed her. I mean, he's just like licked her away.
Starting point is 01:35:39 But you know what though? He couldn't. But he was still, you know what? Believe it or not, I think his knees were actually trembling because he got a few of his asshole lines in. But he had a look on his face like, oh my god. Like how – like can I show up this crazy girl? Oh my god. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:35:54 Oh my god. Like he sort of had that look in his eye. And you know what? The truth is that what Catherine was saying to him, I wasn't disagreeing. I actually thought like when she finally was like, you wasted his money. You waste his money. I was like, you know what? She is absolutely right.
Starting point is 01:36:07 He did waste. That's what, you know, he's running a ghetto enough campaign. The last thing he needs to do is lose $20,000 on a ridiculous. Yeah. But she's trying to get all yelling at him. She did. She did yell at Robin. What's her buns from House of Cards?
Starting point is 01:36:23 What's your name? Robin Penn. That's not her name anymore. Sorry. So rude to notHer-Buns from House of Cards. What's her name? Robin Penn. That's not her name anymore. Sorry. It's so rude to not remember her real name. Robin Wright. Robin Wright. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:36:31 Yeah, she's trying to be all Robin Wright. It's like, listen, Robin Wright earned that shit on that show. You can't just go Hillary Clinton on the staff when you're some 23-year-old who doesn't know anything. True, but she happened to be right in that case. But to start crying and saying, you guys are mean to me it's the wrong way if you're going to be a politician's wife you need to be like hey listen i saw your commercial i appreciate what you were trying to do but like we need to make this like a family angle if i'm going to be the wife and we're going to have a baby and we're going to do this right why don't we start playing that up no you know she
Starting point is 01:37:01 needs to have an intelligent conversation she's acting you know She's just a baby. That part when she was like, I have changed so much for this relationship. I have like 30 blazers. I have 30 blazers. You're shocked with somebody else's money to buy some blazers at TJ Maxx. That does not make you Hillary Clinton. You need to back the fuck down.
Starting point is 01:37:22 You need to start lying about fucking embassies being attacked or something. And I, you know, I feel sort of bad because that show was bringing up all like there. There was this really disgusting frat boy like Whitney going around with that phone showing everybody that video. And they were like, you know, elbowing each other and laughing. And then in turn, like at katherine on a phone yeah and then you know at one point one of these jerks was like said to one of the women oh i don't mean any disrespect but she don't even know and i was just like i grew up being talked to that way and hearing like there's it's you know there is i
Starting point is 01:38:03 think most of these guys like i think shep seems like a decent guy and but there is this really gross old school like you honey you just need to sit down and let the man do this yeah hey darling katherine is not guys i think that uh mj may have burned her sliders that she was defrosting. Sorry. Sorry for the sirens. As silly as she is, I remember, that is part of it, too,
Starting point is 01:38:34 and it's so insulting, and I was just like, oh, God. It is. You're right. You're right. And I'm being too hard on her. I think that I get harder on women because I got a hard time
Starting point is 01:38:44 when I think about Catherine. Yeah, I'm not sick. Catherine. But you know what makes me crazy about it is that I don't like women keeping each other down. It makes me nuts. And we were talking about this a little off the air about other things. But I don't like that. I feel like if you're a woman, you have a responsibility to other women to not be an idiot.
Starting point is 01:39:06 responsibility to other women to not be an idiot you have a responsibility to not marry somebody for his money and get pregnant on purpose to trap him and then pretend you're jack like to me that's just like she's putting herself in a situation instead of going she's actually in love with proper you know and like really doing it and trying to like find a real relate she's trying to climb some kind of weird ladder and she's trying to get stuff to where i don't really respect her as a woman like i don't think just because you have a vagina you automatically deserve respect i think that she needs to earn that and frankly speaking of people who have been given shit they didn't earn thomas is the perfect example of that and he doesn't have yeah he didn't earn shit he got everywhere he was because of his name his family name and his
Starting point is 01:39:43 family money and he fucked it up by doing coke and like selling coke from the i mean uh talk about yeah she's trying to get respect from someone who's completely disreputable yeah i mean i don't believe it or not believe it or not i i don't think she's even trying to social climb that much because apparently she comes from like a name anyway but um yeah i feel like it's 21 fucking all of those friends trying i think she was just like a one rich person i think she was just like sleeping around and she was having some fun she's having fun slut shame is that what you're saying i'm slut no i slut shame because i called her a slut but i and truthfully i you literally slut i slept i slept no no but i but but truthfully i do think she was just having fun, sleeping around, whatever, as she's entitled to.
Starting point is 01:40:27 And she should. Go get it. But I think that she got knocked up by T-Rav. But I think that she actually has some stars in her eyes with him. And I think that, like, I don't think that she's a gold digger. And admittedly, she's not messing with a broke person. She's definitely not messing with a broke person. But I think that she has
Starting point is 01:40:47 i think she has fallen for thomas and i think that she's seeing a storybook situation where it's like here's a wealthy guy and i'm a wealthy girl and this and that he's gonna be a politician so i don't think that she's trying to who refused to marry me even if i after i had a baby and then hit me in the middle of the country where no one would ever see me around town anymore. And then refuses to have me on political. I mean, to me, that's just like, girl,
Starting point is 01:41:09 you, it's a storybook romance. I didn't say it was a happy ending. Swarming around in it like a little worm for the rest of your life. Have some self-respect. But the point is, she's young. But the point is,
Starting point is 01:41:17 I don't think that she's as, I don't think she's as calculating as you're making her out to be. No, she's not. I think that she's like young and naive. She's young and naive and she's in love. She's not the brightest, even though she did major in politics.
Starting point is 01:41:31 I'm sorry, but you guys, you cannot marry Thomas Ravenel and then wonder why he's an idiot. Well, guess what? She hasn't married him. That's my simple point, okay? It goes beyond feminism or anything like that. It's like, take responsibility for your own bullshit.
Starting point is 01:41:42 You married someone you knew was... Not even married. She's trying to get married. your own bullshit. You married someone you knew was a... Not even married. She's trying to get married. Well, yeah. You know. I don't know. She should have majored in sociology instead, basically. Have some self-respect.
Starting point is 01:41:53 Well, the living question is, why don't Landon and Shep just get together? What? That seems so obvious to me. She's probably a little damaged. Probably because her weird talking makes him feel weird because he doesn't know even what accent she has. That is actually
Starting point is 01:42:08 the way she laughs. That is actually exactly the way she laughs. I like modeling. I don't know. I think they're both very sweet and cute. They both also seem to have that kind of middle-of-the-road personality.
Starting point is 01:42:26 They're the easy-going ones. They seem to enjoy being around each other. I actually like boys that have girlfriends like that, which I think is very sweet. He brings his girl. She seems like a total sweetheart. He's a total catch because, you know what, though? They play him down like he's this bachelor or whatever, but to me, he seems like he's razor sharp. He's a smart guy.
Starting point is 01:42:44 He's very smart. He went to Vanderbilt Business School, which is not something you just walk into. No, he's this bachelor whatever but to me he seems like he's razor sharp like he is a smart guy he's very smart he went to vanderbilt business school which is not something you just like walk into no he's very clever he makes very sharp references like he's like he's smart he's legit he's having fun with his life but he's also like he's not just some dumb bachelor now craig on the other hand he's a real problem he is uh you know, I always think it's funny when they have a show, a reality show in like a town that's not like New York or L.A. or Miami or Paris where someone's like talking about modeling. And it's like, oh, honey, you just, you're. You ain't making a living as a job model. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, he's Nick.
Starting point is 01:43:22 What's Nick's character in The Great Gatsby? I'm too stupid for that. No, but he is that guy. He's that, you know, he wants so desperately to be a part of this. And everybody's telling him, look, these idiots have been given everything. You have to work. Except he's not endearing like Nick. He's like...
Starting point is 01:43:44 He is a little bit, but he's so smarmy. No, he's not. Because he wants that so bad. And, like, he doesn't realize, like, to have that kind of blasé, like, oh, how are you? That's just from never having to do anything your whole life. So you can't fake that. The problem with him is that he wants it so bad. But, like, I feel like Nick from The Great Gatsby was, like like wide-eyed and was like wow i'm finally in this world and craig you get the feeling like he would
Starting point is 01:44:10 push other people down to get into this slot that he's carving out for himself you know like he's like one of those evil people like that and i don't like yes he's like the the that movie with philip seymour hoffman and matt d. Yeah. He's a talented Mr. Riddly. There we go. The talented Mr. Riddly. Well, Cameron nailed it. She's pretty good. She nailed him.
Starting point is 01:44:36 He wants Chef's life without doing the work. Chef sure does. Who doesn't? God, I want it. Chef Estaddle. Shep would come along too. But, you know, Craig is, by the way, Craig is like, he's an idiot for thinking that he can start studying for the bar in December and it'll all be okay. As if, like, December is this month that has no distractions. And the bar is just some multiple choice, know yeah exactly but now that's the ambulance that
Starting point is 01:45:07 just drove by so mj has clearly had a uh slider no mj is choking on a slider darling darling get her to the icu um but uh yeah i mean i wonder if that's maybe for the show maybe they're just trying to make him seem like he's irresponsible but But like, I mean, that's crazy. I mean, people study for months for the bar. And he just is like. Yeah, he doesn't have any story. I think they're trying to like kind of make a story. Yeah, and they had a lot of close-ups on his face.
Starting point is 01:45:36 And that was not a, not a, you know, HD cameras change everything, don't they? Girl, I watched this shit on the computer, so it's small, thank goodness. I watched Real Housewives Reunion Part 1 on the HD, and I was like, wow. I've missed a lot of jokes this year. A lot of jokes. I'm like, is this a documentary about the Grand Canyon or canyons of the world? Crevasses and crevasses
Starting point is 01:46:07 and, you know, things. What was I going to say? Yeah, the only thing, the only part of Patricia we even got this week was Patricia getting needles stuck in her head. Dog needles stuck in her head to try and make her look
Starting point is 01:46:23 younger. And he's like, you can't drink or have sex for an hour after younger. And he's like, but you can't drink or have sex for an hour after this. And she's like, well, get him off of me. Oh, yeah, we had her in there. Oh, she is? Okay, good. His leg keeps going out, so I'm going to get him acupuncture. I'm like, what? I don't understand how one has to do with the other. Tell him to stop walking funny.
Starting point is 01:46:41 Maybe stop tripping over and drunk when you're trying to get up the stairs, because you know she do. Whitney probably kicks him. There's a reason. Mommy loves me. Mommy loves me. You don't have a band.
Starting point is 01:46:53 You never learned how to play the guitar. Why do you get all the love, you little fucker? Okay. Yeah, there's a reason we always see Patricia sitting down. Have we ever even seen her walking anywhere? I think at that party where she was standing up. Yeah, there's a reason we always see Patricia sitting down. Have we ever even seen her walking anywhere? I think that party where she was standing up. Yeah, outside. She's like, it is god-awful hot out here.
Starting point is 01:47:10 She glides. She glides. She does. One can't be out in the heat with terrible wine. I want her to just be on one of those electronic chairs that goes up and down the stairs. Yes. Just making comments to everybody who passes by on the street outside.
Starting point is 01:47:27 Whitney, I'm ready for dinner. I'm coming down. I don't like her. I don't like her. I don't like her. Let me say it again. I do not like her. Oh, boy. Whatever happened to Whitney's trashy assistant? Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:47:43 She probably got pregnant and was sent off to some nunnery assistant? Oh, God. She probably got pregnant and was sent off to some nunnery by Patricia. Back in my day, girls were sent to a home for rotten vaginas until they came back with a business degree in stretch marks.
Starting point is 01:47:59 Business degree in stretch marks. It's brilliant. What else happened on this? I just wrote, how do Cameron and Shep eat like that and stay like that? They were eating gigantic pieces of fried chicken
Starting point is 01:48:14 over mashed potatoes. Just laughing and having fun. If me and my friends were doing that, our conversation would be this. Have you given up? No. Have you? No. But it's just fun today. I know. We'll start again tomorrow. Let's do it together. We'd hug and write it on MyFitnessPal
Starting point is 01:48:29 as like one Tootsie Roll. I think Shep just surfs all day. To be rich, skinny, and blonde. Oh, the dream, guys. We can all have it. Yeah. We can all have it. Alright, well, that's a nice aspiration for next week, I would say.
Starting point is 01:48:46 I think we have really exhausted all our topics today. So, Angie, thank you so much for coming back on the show. This is a big old episode. Your duty this week is to watch The Jinx. Done. The Jinx. Done. It's worth it.
Starting point is 01:49:03 You guys say it at the same time. Done. The Jinx. Oh it. It's worth it. You guys say it at the same time. The Jinx. No. Oh. No. Say the Jinx at the same time. The Jinx. Jinx.
Starting point is 01:49:13 Jinx. Jinx. I Jinxed you too. Even though you didn't really say it at the same time and ruined my joke, it's okay. There was no joke. There was no Jinx. No one owes anybody a Coke. Liam, stop trying to make jokes and just get me a Coke.
Starting point is 01:49:27 You have the biggest double standard I have ever seen, baby. Baby. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. That's so Persian. Persians are like, oh my God, you're a jinx. And white people are like, what's a jinx?
Starting point is 01:49:42 I don't know what a jinx is. Let's go shoot a white person. Persians don't have Jinxes. We have gold. We have gold in rented cars. Okay. So anyone who wants to follow Angie, you can follow. At Lion's Lair Podcast or Small Potatoes Podcast.
Starting point is 01:50:03 Could you name your food podcast again to Risky Biscuits? Did you hear that yesterday? That's actually really cute. I like it. Yesterday I was calling it Hard Biscuits. No, Rough Biscuits I think. Rough Biscuits. But today I think it should be Risky Biscuits. Sometimes life
Starting point is 01:50:19 gives you rough biscuits and you just have to figure out what to do. You just gotta dip them in honey to do. You just gotta put, you just gotta dip them in honey. Yes. We did a really fun show last night where we took on controversial stances and I actually took down Catherine's doppelganger
Starting point is 01:50:35 Emma Stone and someone else took down Tom Cruise. So it's really fun, especially if you're an Emma Stone fan. You can come and pile some hate on me wow oh like it I'll be downloading that uh okay so that that's how you find Angie and then for us just go to watch what crap ends.com to find our social media it's highly rewarding facebook is facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends even more rewarding and patreon patreon.com forward slash watch what crap happens uh to get
Starting point is 01:51:06 access to our weekly bonus episode and many other great perks to extend the watch what crap happens experience so thank you everyone for listening and thanks everyone thank you all thank you thanks guys super fun bye everyone bye love you andie love y'all thanks see you soon bye if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new youtube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more.
Starting point is 01:52:03 You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash waitfortcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. To the insurance company that spurned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me, it's you.
Starting point is 01:52:24 We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting GEICO. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tears you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to GEICO. Sincerely, not yours, Tara in Telluride. GEICO. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.
Starting point is 01:52:56 Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

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