Watch What Crappens - #177: Jumbo Episode! Twitch Tornado!

Episode Date: April 16, 2015

Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) join forces for a gigantic two hour episode. We mostly cover the downfall of Kim Twitch Richards and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 3. We couldn?t end the show without discussing the Shahs of Sunset, Real Housewives of New York and Southern Charm, hence the extra hour. Enjoy it, and thanks for listening! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crappens. Watch what crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Watch what crappens. Watch what crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo. the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam with Trash Talk TV,

and with me is Ben Mandelker of the B-Side blog and the Banter Blender. Hello, Ben. Oh, hi, Ronnie. To find our Instagrams and Twitters and Tweeters and all that, just go to watchwhatcrappens.com. All our links are listed there. If you want to join our community and talk to other listeners, just basically talk crap about these shows all week long, or tell us off, or hug us via Facebook.

Come to Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. Also, if you want to support us for bonus content, we do an extra episode every week for the bonus, where we just sit around here and literally pick our nails and talk about whatever the hell we want. Yeah. We have monthly Google Hangouts and a bunch of funny housewives ringers and stuff so go to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash watch what crap ends and uh come subscribe it just makes the experience so much more fun i mean we could be in your ear three and a half hours a week now. Can you believe it? Isn't that amazing? Don't you want to hear our voices? And then it'd be like, it would set you on the path

of schizophrenia. You can hear our voices in your head, even when we're not talking. Yeah, I don't know how you guys are listening to so many hours of this a week, but thanks. Yeah. Thanks for doing it. Because it's certainly fun recording it. Thanks for listening. So before we even start, I mean, I didn't wake up until noon today, okay? I pulled a Kim Richards. And I even thought that as I woke up.

I was like, ooh, I'm pulling a Kim now. And then I wake up to Twitter blowing up and our Facebook blowing up because Kim Richards was arrested. Kim Richards pulled a Kim Richards. Yeah. Kim Richards got her biggest role last night playing Kim Richards in the TMZ movie. Kim Richards not only did she get arrested, but

I just went on to Facebook right now to go to our page. Before I even went to our page, she is trending on Facebook. On my sidebar, the top story is there's a new trailer for Star Wars and then number two is Kim Richards. You know what? God bless her. She'll probably love that.

I wish I saw that on my Facebook because I would take a screenshot and tweet that to her and be like, you know, there's upsides. Yeah. May the force be with Kim Richards. Yeah, but for those of you who don't know about Star Wars or Kim Richards, Kim Richards was arrested last night.

Not speaking to Yoda. So they have the same voice. or Kim Richards. Kim Richards was arrested last night. Not to confuse with Yoda. But they have the same voice. She was drunk in the polo club or something and she got kicked out. The polo lounge, yeah. The polo lounge. And then she went home and I guess got in a fight at home?

No, no, no. What's the story, Ben? According to TMZ... I'm a headline reader. I'm a headline. No. You're very close. According to TMZ... I'm a headline reader. I'm a headline. No. You're very close. According to TMZ, she went to the Polo Lounge, which is this hallowed institution, restaurant

in the Beverly Hills Hotel here in LA, and she got hammered. And the staff requested, politely requested that she leave, and she didn't want to, and she was belligerent. And then she locked herself in a bathroom, and the police came. And I guess they had to holler in the process. She kicked the police. I can't say it without laughing. She kicked,

she kicked a police officer, which is just so funny to me. When she has a Bravo reunion with the police, she's going to demand an apology from the police. Do you know how much that hurt my family when I had to kick you? I have a cast on my toe now. Thanks a lot. You never supported me.

You weren't there when I was getting my cast. Off limits. She's so mad at whoever put this on Instagram. Yeah, she's like, she's mad at Beverly. She's like, my mugshot. Like, you didn't have to take a picture of my mugshot. Yeah, how come you take a picture? How come you filtered my mugshot before you put it on Toombs?

Like, couldn't you just arrest me? But then you always want attention. You always take pictures of people when they get into jail. Police. So, before we started recording today, I told Ben, how are we going to go on and talk about this reunion if we're not allowed to make fun of Kim Richards? Because the whole reunion is Kim Richards being drunk. And he said, don't worry. You'll be fine.

And sure enough, there we go. We've already broken the ice. I don't know why suddenly Ronnie had a shred of a conscience just before this podcast. And I was like, listen, we can still make fun of Kim Richards because Kim Richards was so sanctimonious and so nasty and so mean and so bullheaded and so wrong on so many counts that of course we can make fun of her, even if she did get thrown in jail. And in fact, the fact that she did get thrown in jail just shows how deluded she is. So when she's saying things like, okay, did I have, did I have a pill? Yes that wrong yes of course i've apologized but you've only seen me like that one night so my my joke that i wrote on our facebook thing the comment

that i made was i said like well you only see me go to be arrested one time in three years no big deal yeah exactly same thing it's the same thing as saying that. Well, I don't – a lot of the reunion and – I mean, I went crazy. I wrote recaps all season on this shit. And, you know, it was really fun all season. I love making fun of this show. But the last one, for whatever reason, is 10 pages. Like, it doesn't end. It's like a three-hour read.

It's like a novel. This was a reunion to get you fired up. I mean, I actually took notes on this reunion, too. Normally, I would sort of let you because I know you're doing the recap anyway. So I sort of figured you just did a good photo cap, too, which is on bsideblog.com. So check it out. Those don't come around very often. Yeah, well, the thing was, I was so fired up because I sat there.

I was taking notes at all the ridiculous things that were said. I was just like, you know what? I have to have some sort of outlet. I can't wait until Thursday's episode. So I went over to my old blog and, and, uh, blew some dust off of it and did a photo cap because I was just like, I had to like express myself. Yeah. And you do it in a way that's just, uh,

it's just pure jokes. It's funnier. Like where you kind of change what they're saying and stuff. And I, I get like therapy session where I'm like, she says this and then I'll make a joke. And then I write three hours of therapy about it, you know,

just because I deal with addiction so much with myself and with my family and stuff and watching Kim in this one. I mean, watching Kim in this one is basically like arguing with a drunk person that knows that they've lost when that face is that red and crinkly and the veins are popping out and they just look lost. And so I felt really bad even watching the reunion, which didn't stop me from making Kim Richards jokes, because I mean, how can you not? Yeah, I mean, exactly.

She's opening herself up for it. It's funny. I looked up what are the symptoms of a dry drunk from alcoholrehab.com. I don't know how repeatable this website is. But these are the symptoms. And you can let me know if you think that Kim qualifies. The individual has a low tolerance for stress. They easily get upset if things are not going their way.

That's one. Yes, I would say Kim. Well, that's me. Okay. The dry drunk continues to engage in unhealthy behaviors. In order to deal with their lack of satisfaction and recovery, this individual may turn to new vices. Yeah, that's me too. The individual can suffer from loneliness and lack of interest in activities to fill their time

yeah that's me too denial can be a big problem for the dry drunk as it can be for the practicing addict uh that's that's me dry drunks may romance the drink they forget how bad things were and they remember the good times that's me such a person is likely to suffer a lot from self-pity that's me definitely uh dry drunk tends to be full of pride and feels overconfident about their abilities that's definitely me and this this individual may continue to engage in unethical behavior that well you know i mean i'd like to think i have some ethics but otherwise i mean here's the thing i'm not dry yeah i was about to say you're not a dry drunk you're just a drunk. Yeah, so I'm confused.

So it seems like Kim is. They need to work on this on WebMD or whatever. Well, I looked up symptoms of an alcoholic. Okay. Anxiety or jumpiness, shakiness or trembling, sweating, nausea and vomiting, insomnia. Hmm. I wish I could vomit. Otherwise, me.

So I guess I'm. You had a long night of sleep, so I think you just made yourself not an alcoholic. Oh, that's so nice. I'm cured. I'm cured enough to do a 10-hour reunion. They sat there for 10 hours to shoot that reunion. Do you know that? 10 hours.

No wonder. By the end of it, their faces looked like they just watched babies being stabbed in the brain or like innocent Iraqis being murdered. They were just like ugh. The whole time I just kept on wondering as it was just getting more and more like vile and nasty and like terrible. I kept on wondering is at the end of this like this episode is Andy

going to come out as he usually does with a tray of champagne and be like well cheers to a great season. Oh is this the first time he didn and thankfully this is the first time he didn't it's the first time i can remember because normally he busts it's like they say the most nasty things about each other then they bust out they have to toast to each other oh god yeah and before we start going through the actual you know point by points of the reunion i have to say good job buddy andy going he did a pretty good job i think this time like he was actually

calling people on their shit in a very subtle way and then backing off i kind of like that and he was a little more himself like if you're going to be a stoner like if you're going to be like yeah i'm a stoner and i fuck 23 year olds okay i like that that's fun when he's like kind of laid back and acting like that i like that i just don't like when he's a goofball asking stupid – I don't know. Normally I don't like him. But I really like him on this one. He's smiling like a – yeah. But it is funny.

When you talk about the 23-year-old situation, that's a great way to get into this reunion because at the top of the show, Brandy once again did this thing. And then she mentions to Andy, well, you like to date 23 year olds and everything and it's like things like that actually really piss me off about Brandy you know what she's stating is on its surface there's nothing wrong with what she's saying you know Andy has dated young he's confessed so much but what

she's really doing is she's kind of like forcing him into a position and it's also kind of like she's kind of like putting his stuff out there you know like of like putting his stuff out there you know like he's putting his shit out on front street as they used to say you know what i'm saying you know it's like that subtle thing and then if you called her on it she said no i'm just stating a fact i'm just saying it's just one of those like subtly passive aggressive things well yeah she's she's trying to embarrass him on national tv because she feels like he's putting

her in a position to be embarrassed on national tv and that's like her sick revenge but and she's done that a few times to him where she's like well you do it and he's like yeah but so what and that's why he could never be a housewife because he doesn't get defensive about it he's like yeah i fuck 23 year old so what but also you know he he did say i don't date them i you know i just fuck them which is you know it's called being an adult that's where but that's where he's good where he he owns it and he moves on he doesn't let her get the rise that she is subtly trying to get you know yeah uh well she i don't think is going to be lasting too long on this show i think she's pretty much done because these women aren't even letting her get a sentence out anymore they're just they're just every time she says something they're just talking over her and laughing openly in her face yeah and thank god

she's just too trashy for this show um i wonder if kim richards will come back um because now that she's been arrested man i know that andy cohen wants to dive into that huh oh i'm sure we'll be getting another one-on-one with kim where she's like, Andy, where she's talking really quiet. Andy, I'm totally sober now, and I never do anything like that. And that was just a one-time thing, okay? I don't want to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's exactly what she's like. In three years have I gotten wasted. Okay. I got wasted at poker night, and I got wasted at the lounge, and that's it. That's fine you know this is what and i have to say for anybody out there who is an alcoholic and who's suffering and is like feeling defensive listening listen my stance is i don't care if you're an alcoholic be an alcoholic so what you have your own life to live if you want to do heroin do it just don't be stealing shit from my house or you know like making and making a mess

of my life but do whatever you want with yours i mean i think her answer should always be look i'm an alcoholic i'm a pill addict i'm working on it the end i don't have to talk about it with you people exactly that's exactly what her response should be and i echo what you say i mean like if you're if you're going through alcoholism or addiction or recovery any of of that, like, you know what? Like, it's not, it's not like, Hey,

that's great. But it's like, you're doing what you have to do, whatever. All I'm saying is that, you know, you have to some, you know, you have to take accountability for the fact that it affects people,

you know? And when you make bad in other people's life, you just say you're sorry and stay out of it. Exactly. Whether or not you think their reaction is overblown or not, like you're kind of not in a position you sort of forfeit that you know you sort of i think to a certain degree i mean if someone is being you know here i go contradicting myself but if someone's being like

over the top ridiculous in their reaction then sure but um you know i think it's like yeah sure everyone's allowed to do whatever they want to do but there there's going to be reactions to anything you do do. And that's something that gets lost on, I think, on a lot of reality stars. Well, one thing I wrote in the recap is Kim's problem is not other, you know, it's not her actions that are the problem. It's other people's reactions. You know, that's always the problem. It's not that Kim got drunk. It's that Kyle said it on TV.

Yeah. It's not that Kim, it's not that Kingsley bit the kid. It's that there was an instagram on it on tv exactly on tv on the instagram sorry on the i'm laughing i'm saying tv because i have a screenshot of kim looking at her phone and i said kim's trying to figure out the new tv maurizio got her i'm just looking at the recap trying to trying to uh remember point by point what happened. Yeah, well, it's also a great way to deflect. Deflection. If you get mad at people's reactions,

the way people handle things, the way people don't treat you with kid gloves or don't keep it private, whatever, you are making the issue about something else entirely. And by the end of the reunion, she really looked lost. She looked like one of those homeless people that are on your block every day, but they don't really know where they are. And they've never seen you before. And they look kind of terrified and confused.

And their veins are popping out and stuff. And they're in rayon. She's become the epitome. She's become the personification of Whitesnake's song, Here I Go, again on my own. Yeah, it's just so sad. I don't know where I'm going. You're going to do the lyrics? Go ahead the lyrics go ahead maybe like poetry for ourselves that's all i am living on the promised land and i was on yesterday because i made up my mind well tmz is even being pretty nice to her

because they showed a really nice picture of her they could have showed like some picture of her from the union looking all torn up. Yeah. I think actually in general, Kim Richards has been looking pretty good, to be honest. Oh my god. Did you watch this on a small screen? Well, first of all, no one looked good on this reunion. That lighting was so harsh, as we mentioned a few weeks ago.

The lighting was so terrible for all the women. There's just no way that anyone could have looked better. Yeah, when did they start lighting reunions like a Target? Like, what is with that? They're lit, like, with fluorescent lights. It looks like the aisle you get the dish soap in. Yeah, I mean, even Andy didn't look great.

I mean, it was just terrible lighting for everyone involved. It was like the cast of V had convened, you know? The cast of V. Oh. So let's start going through this point by point let's do it well i guess we start with uh lisa rena text messages huh is that where it started let me see oh well first they started talking about vaginas and they're so wacky because they talk about vaginas and then who has the dirtiest mouth blah blahah, blah, blah. One thing I will say, this whole who has a dirty mouth thing, Eileen saying Rinna. And then Brandy's like, well, why is it okay if she curses, not me?

And Eileen was just like, well, she just, you know, she says the F word. You're just foul. Whatever she said, like, you're just a gross person. Eileen, there's a good cut on reddit in the bravo real housewives section of reddit of eileen someone put a cut together of her at the reunion and it is very funny watching her together the part where kim leans back where kim's going well i said i was sorry i mean eileen goes no you didn't yeah i did no you didn't i remember i never got an apology for that well eileen iileen, I'm sorry.

And then Eileen is leaned back, looking at her like she's just gross. Yeah. Leaning away from her. Yeah. And she's like, I'm sorry, Eileen. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Eileen. And Eileen's like, it's okay.

Just turn around. Yeah. She's so grossed out by everything. I know. Eileen is amazing. I hope she comes back i know you think she doesn't bring a lot of story she did to the reunion if she's like that in every episode maybe they just shouldn't ever show her at home or work they should just show her like hating everybody else there was like a whole bunch of back and forth on our facebook page last week about like

whether or not lisa rinna and eileen it was like, they didn't bring any story. They just piggybacked on Kim's story. My feeling is this, like, who cares? If they piggyback on Kim's story, they just make that story all the more potent. Like, it's great. I don't care if they don't have anything going on in their home life,

and if their biggest story is that they're knocking over a swing set. Like, that's fine. Like, if you're piggybacking onto another character, that's where the magic on the show happens anyway, when people are all embroiled in something. So I say I am pro Eileen and Lisa. Well, I mean, I'm pro them. I do think they were piggybacking off her storyline,

which is, to me, annoying. But, I mean, I get where you're coming from. But Rinna threw a glass at somebody and then tried to strangle them. Or she tried to strangle them and then threw a glass. Whichever order it happened in she wins like for me that's i mean you're a you're on a housewife show it's like honestly wouldn't it be worth it just to have a whole other season of eileen saying something like beast how dare you oh yeah because you know there's a lot more once they get comfortable yeah yeah tons so twitch wakes up she fell asleep a couple times in the

beginning there yeah she would just close her eyes for a long time and then wake up going like this mealy mouth mealy yeah boogers in my eyes um and then we're still talking about how kyle can't say the word pussy although her neck has formed the shape of one kyle's neck i mean i could not stop obsessing over kyle's neck through this episode because it went through so many transformations i've been trying to find like different trees to post when she gets mad next to her tree truck neck but in this picture she really does it's like formed into like a georgia O'Keeffe vagina painting.

Okay, what else happened? Let's see here. Rinna's Bush. How are we on page two and still on Rinna's Bush? I don't know. I need to shut the fuck up. This was all just the filler stuff. I know, and I went off for three pages now.

Let me see. Okay, then we get to Twitch and Rinna. Yeah. That's the first big thing of the text messages. Yeah, you're right. You just lead it, because your notes are more concise we'll be here all day so basically the gist is that like i guess andy asked um kim richards if they she's spoken with lisa since the finale and kim's like yes well yes yes i got these text messages and apparently apparently Lisa Rinna texted Kim, Be very careful or I will fuck you up.

You be nice to your sister, you believe her, and stop telling lies. In that order. Thanks. Which was then followed by, You need to get wise. Brandy is not telling the truth. She is lying. Which was then followed by,

Your behavior and the way you treat people is not okay. You are nasty and you need to be stopped now. I love Lisa. You need to be stopped. Like Kim is an epidemic. There's a whole show on USA about the epidemic of Twitch being stopped. Yeah.

Now here's my feeling. She bites people and suddenly they're like, I know Keanu Reeves. We were in that movie together about being in space when George Clooney left me all alone at the station after he got hit by a piece of trash. What happened to my mother? It's spreading.

So here's the thing. I mean, those texts were bad. Like lisa rena you don't send those texts well the first one where she says i'm gonna fuck you up with the night of the party so she was wasted she was like wasted you know talking herself up with kyle getting all crazy so that one i'll forgive because she was it's kind of funny that she has a threat followed by you be nice to your sister yeah the next morning she writes well still you be nice to your sister young lady you believe her and stop telling lies in that order in that order well I was gonna try and be nicer today because we were trying to get Lisa Rinna on our show but her publicist won't publicist

won't let her do it because I think we're too mean. But I don't think that's going to happen. Sorry. But, yeah, you be nice to your sister. And then Lisa's like, yeah, so? She's, like, licking her lips. I made a gif of her just licking her lips because she, like, sat back and kind of rolled her head. And Andy's like, do you know what she's talking about, Lisa? And Lisa's like, yeah, I know.

I know what she's talking about. Read them. Read them. Bring it. Own it. Own those texts. Baby. Baby. Own it, baby. Read them. Read them. Bring it. Own it. Own those texts. Baby. Baby.

Own it, baby. Read those texts, baby. So she reads them, and everybody's supposed to be going, Lisa! And no one cared. Yeah, because, you know, the truth is this. As bad as those texts were, I mean, they were just sort of, the reason why I think they were so bad is it just gives Kim and Brandy ammunition.

The content of them wasn't, like, the worst. those available threats were pretty nasty but like compared to anything brandy has said over the past three years those texts are nothing this is brandy who will always i will fuck you up i will kill you stay away from me i will literally kill you i will it's like you know what so if brandy is allowed to say that lisa's allowed to say it too the only difference is that when you when you send it over text it comes off as much more threatening and scary um lisa uh lisa tweeted the other day uh one of them is being that two two people have lawsuits against them one is for a dog and the other is a pussy which is hilarious it's good good one um she's not i like that she's kind of she's so smiley but she's kind of the worst as far as twitter like mocking people on twitter and stuff

i know but the thing was that of course as soon as because lisa renick gave these two monsters like some sort of ammunition kim and brandy immediately started trying to gaslight her right gaslight gaslight gaslight yeah and they? Gaslight, gaslight, gaslight. Yeah. And they were, you know, they were like, they're like, well, I don't know, like, someone should look up, look up Rinna. She probably has a record.

She probably has a record. They were just trying to paint her as this, like, But Kim couldn't even say that. She's like, I bet if I looked on the internet and you looked up Lisa Rinna, she'd have a history of, and then she's making a strangling motion, but she's going, what do you call it? Where are you at? And then she's making a strangling motion, but she's going,

What do you call it? And then she starts, like, stirring cookies. I know. Are you trying to shake out a bag of chips into a bowl? Is that what that motion is? That's history of making order. She starts stirring chicken salad with her hands. She's like, what do you call it?

Adjusting picture frames with her maid. What is it? What do you call it? She's, picture frames with her maid. What is it? What do you call it? She's like doing wax on, wax off. Oh, Lord, Kim. Yeah, she's dangerous. She's scary, Andy. She's scary, Andy.

Brandy's like, I'm sure Brandy was probably saying things like, you know, I'm afraid when I'm around. You know, Brandy's going to do that. Like, I don't want to be alone with her. I'm afraid of her. She was doing that. She was like, I'm sure Brandy was probably saying things like, you know, I'm afraid when I'm around. You know, Brandy's going to do that. Like, I don't want to be alone with her. I'm afraid of her. She was doing that. She was like, she's scared. I mean, a couple of times you've looked like you're going to get up today. I mean, that's really scary.

That's some serious rage. Yeah. You've gotten up, but I got scared. It's like, oh, God, shut up, Brandy. Those two are such fucking amateurs. It's hilarious. You know, it's hilarious watching them try and go up against the other ladies. Because calling them pros is silly.

But they are pros. But mostly it's just because they're adults. It's like dealing with children. Drunk, drunk children. And Lisa, of course, did the best thing, was that she pulled Brandy on Brandy. Which is that Lisa then started to cry. Started to say, well, well you know i'm just you know i'm just human and i try the best and like she just shushes me a lot and my dad always used

to shush me i mean it was like i started dying like it was like you could hear the violins play it was so ridiculous lisa ran a lifetime movie the girl who got shushed i know that eileen comes over and sits by her side i mean it was all just so over the top. It's the sort of thing that you would actually normally hate. But because you knew it was being done to thwart Brandy and Kim's gaslighting, it was just hilarious. It was almost just a statement on how stupid they are, you know, that they're making such a big deal out of everything. She's like, my dad used to show me i hope you never go into a library yeah a fucking nervous breakdown in there i need a book baby uh yeah that was pretty funny played by tori spelling with grill marks on her face big 80s wig it's like how we're gonna start torching iraqis now that we can't like put water down their throats anymore it's like the new terrorist the new way to deal with terrorists

no no shushing oh shush them you can do them both do both first one then the first we're gonna shush you and then we're gonna to cook you like a spelling. Okay? I'd like my steak done spelling, please. Thank you. I liked also how when Lisa Rinna was crying and then Kim was like, oh. As if Kim hasn't been bawling all this time.

About nothing. About truly nothing. And then on top of that, whenisa's sitting there crying and kim and brandy like oh my god and then eileen goes she said she was sorry get over yourself i was like yes i love that she uh she kept saying oh she said she's gonna fuck me up since when do you have a problem with someone threatening to get you fucked up kim yeah exactly she's threatening to fuck me up uh i'm looking at the podcast to see where we are but i mean the recap to see where we are uh kim keeps talking andy's just like okay now let lisa talk and she's like and then she's like bent over and pointing her finger and going

crazy and andy's just ignoring her. God bless her. I know. But then the strangest thing of all was that there was like a Danielle Staub moment, which is never, never a good moment to have. Oh, God. Because after all this, Kim suddenly awkwardly walks across the stage and gives Lisa this very strange stilted look. Oh, that was not suddenly. That was Brandy. Brandy goes, Kim, stop it right now. She's crazy. Stop it.

And Kim stops stops straightens up her face totally clears and she becomes a blank robot and then she's like I'm sorry Lisa I'm sorry and then she gets up

and hugs Lisa and Lisa wouldn't even get up out of her couch she's like hugs and then like went back to her seat that's creepy

yeah it was just so bizarre it was definitely a Danielle Saab on Jacqueline Lareda hug. Yeah, that was not cute. Yeah. And then, after all this, then the reunion took a turn and became mired in Potgate,

or maybe Space Cakegate, in one of the more annoying um fights in reunion history if no one is gonna go have pot in amsterdam don't go to the pot store in amsterdam like if we're not gonna get to see you all fucked up in amsterdam that's the whole point of going to amsterdam and going to the pot store right get fucked up if you're not going to the producers were probably like you have to go to a pot store so like okay we'll go to the. Yeah, but if you know none of the cast is going to do it, what's the fun of that? They're like, oh, no, no, no, I couldn't. So then it became this whole thing, this rehashing, pun intended, of Brandy being, like, all mad because Kyle was acting like a saint.

Like, she never smokes weed or whatever. But then she wouldn't eat the pot there or whatever and she's such a hypocrite blah blah blah and it really annoyed me i mean do i believe that kyle smokes pot yeah of course i do believe it but like i just feel like it's her right to decide that she doesn't want if she doesn't want to have space cake on national tv if she's like i think that's like fine i think that's like the thing that annoyed if she's aware enough of herself and how she acts on on pot and uh that she knows that like you know what i i become neurotic i become crazy and i don't know if i want that documented on national tv i think she's like

within her right she is but the reason that brandy was annoyed because i was annoyed too it's just that brandy doesn't know how uh she doesn't know social skills but the reason she was annoyed, too. It's just that Brandy doesn't know how, she doesn't know social skills. But the reason she was annoyed is because Kyle was like, whoa, that smell. Oh, my God. Am I going to get high just from smelling it? What is that, a joint? How do you even smoke this? How do you, what is a joint? A joint's a place you go.

It's like a place. Why would they call it a joint? Pot. Pot's a thing you put plants in. Why would they call it? Oh, because it's a plant. Oh, I get it. It's like, come on, Kyle.

She's acting like she's, you know, she's... That was ridiculous, but then Brandy makes it her mission, you know, to, like, destroy, like, not destroy it, but, like, she just comes out, like, it's like, she even said on the reunion, Brandy said, it made me crazy that you were sitting there acting like you were something that you're not. It's like, you know what?

She... Brandy has inferred this thing okay she's inferred this or she's created in her mind that kyle is acting like something that she's not is kyle being ridiculous probably but like brandy makes these inferences in her head and then she turns them into facts and acts on them and that's like one of her biggest problems that's why she's always getting into trouble because she doesn't know the line between when she – between like her own perception of things versus like what – what's fact and what's friction, baby. All she had to say was, oh, Jesus, Kyle, you've never been around pot your whole life, I'm so sure. And that's it.

She said she wants to bust her. She wants to like make a thing about it. He said she wants to bust her. You know, she wants to, like, make a thing about it. And then, yeah, I feel like, you know, it was this whole thing on the reunion for, like, five or ten minutes and screaming. And Kyle at one point was like, I did not want to eat space cake. What is wrong with that? I'm scared of that.

And it's like, but Brandy kept on going at her. Like, why can't Kyle decide she doesn't want to have space cake? And I like that she said, oh, well, you're an addict. You're calling me an addict. You're an addict. You're the one taking Xanax on the plane. Listen, bitch, she's taking Xanax on the plane because she's a goddamn American. Okay?

That's our right. Who's not taking a Xanax? Well, the best is Brandy. Well, she's like, she's like, she's like, what if Kim were kim were there if she took a bite would it be a big deal would we be talking about it you know she was trying to make this point that like oh like why is it okay why is it like why should we not make a big deal about like kyle having a bite when if kim has a bite like wouldn't we be making a big deal about it's like well of course you idiot because kim is in recovery it's a much much bigger difference than if Kyle has a bite or if you have a bite, Brandy.

Yeah. You stop it, Bueller. No one cares about your anger issues, okay? Come over here and have some space cake. I mean, he heard us doing the Brandy impersonation. Probably all the cats from the neighborhood are coming to our house right now, and he's growling at them.

Yeah, so that was all ridiculous. And, you know, Andy kind of won my heart a little bit, because I think this was the part when he's like, well, isn't there a difference between that and someone who's in recovery? She's like, no! Let me see. Brandy's squealing,aling fuck you over and over again oh this was the other thing and he's like well you didn't have any space cake which yeah which no one no one has pointed out yet and she's like but that's because i'm in a custody battle and i can't have that right now on the air like their mom's you know having pot on the air when i'm in a custody battle brandy you're fucking

a 23 year old on air and you're fucking a 23-year-old on air, and you're talking about how Kyle just smoked pot with you. So how stupid are you, woman? And on top of that, it's actually legal to have the space cake in Amsterdam, so it would not have been bad, I think, in your custody battle. I think it might look worse if you're willing to fuck people that look slightly younger than your children. children yeah you do so many heinous things that i think the space cake is is the least of your problems well i was gonna stand up for brandy in that section because

i do understand why she was annoyed with kyle because kyle is a phony obnoxious asshole and it makes me crazy when kyle does shit like that like what is what is pot? Why is it green? It was, I mean, that was really, that was bad of Kyle. But ultimately, at the end of the day, I don't begrudge her for, like, not wanting to. No, I don't either. It's just how she was acting. But Brandy's, you know, again,

Brandy's reaction was just so much worse that, you know, you're making me side with Kyle. Both Kim and Brandy are making me side with Kyle, who normally makes me crazy. So that's not okay, guys. We need to reel that back in. So let's see. So then Kim starts this whole...

He tries to change the subject and then Twitch starts this whole like, and I'll tell you another thing. I'm sick of talking about my alcohol. It's like, listen, we're not talking about it right now. We were talking about the couch trip to the zoo or whatever. And she's like, I'm not drunk either.

Yeah, because I think didn't he say – I think what happened was they were talking about Space Cake. If I remember correctly, when Brandy said like, what would people do if Kim were there or whatever? And then that's when Andy was like, well, in all due respect, I think it would be a bigger deal if there was someone struggling with their um sobriety and that's when kim was like i just want to say i'm not struggling with my sobriety as we all chuckle now as we refer to tmz from today because she was she she's looked like she's been using this whole time i mean yeah shocker i love that this is so shocking to everybody it was like can you believe it she fell off the the wagon. Yeah, I know. It was never a wagon. Yeah, there was no wagon.

Just like a little, I don't know, a few wheels. A few wheels and like maybe a roller skate. There was a bench. There's a bench that she's been sitting on waiting for a wagon has not arrived yet her wagon tried to cross a river a long time ago but she did not get the help of an indian guide and it sank a very long time ago and now she's just like one of those little red wagons she can only fit like part of her body into one so it's like her butt's in one but her legs are off of it it's not meth i mean that's my that her legs are off of it. It's not meth. I mean, that's my new hashtag for my life.

You know, yes, I'm smoking a cigarette today. Hashtag not meth. It's not meth. Yeah, I mean, if you look at it that way, Kim's doing great. Yeah, because living in Hollywood, I'm like, wow, is everybody doing meth? Because there's a lot of people talking to this guy right now and not having any flesh on their bones or teeth. Baby. Baby. Baby. Own that mess, baby.

So anyway, well, so Kim starts saying this thing. She starts saying, you know, I just want to say I haven't struggled. Did I show up like that? Yes. Should I have taken that pill? No. It only happened once and I would appreciate it if people would stop talking about it. And finally, Lisa Vanderpump said the thing that we have been saying all along,

which is she said, darling, you cannot show up higher than a car. I did not expect us to deal with it. Oh, no, that was Rinna, I think. Was it Rinna? Yeah, that was the other Lisa. You have to call them V or R. All I had written down in my notes was Lisa, and for some reason I thought it was Lisa.

No, that was Rinna. Rinna goes, you can't pretend that this problem doesn't exist. And then Kim's like, shush. And I was like, you better watch it. You're about to lose that turkey neck. I know, the Hulk. Yeah. Hulk is about to come out.

So then Andy's like, well, why didn't you, or someone, Kyle or whoever, is like, how come you didn't have a problem with Brandy talking about it? And then Brandy's like, I was worried and I called her and it was OK. And then Kim's like, yeah, it's OK with Brandy. You know, Brandy is like, she says it over a glass of wine. It makes it easier to take. It's not vodka. Jeez, lady. All right.

jeez lady alright so then and Brandy doesn't understand the double standard of like the fact that she talked to Jennifer Jimenez twice she doesn't understand why people think that's like like just the same as anyone else

talking to anyone else about anything and she's like but I was talking to my friend I had to talk about it to someone it's like well bitch what do you think all the other people are doing exactly but Kim's too stupid to see her own logic and why she's like, but I was talking to my friend. I had to talk about it to someone. It's like, well, bitch, what do you think all the other people are doing? But Kim's too stupid to see her own logic and why she's mad. She's mad because people were talking about it on camera, period. And her children could see it. That's why she's mad.

She's not mad that they're asking her about it or talking about it. She's mad that it's on camera. But she doesn't, she's too stupid to like know or whatever. She's not present enough to see that that's why she's mad. That's what makes me crazy. I mean, by the end of the reunion, she's out of stuff to say, like she's out of her practice lines and she just looks completely broken, you know? And even, and you know, the thing is that like Brandy talking to Jennifer Jimenez, if anything, like Jennifer Jimenez said the most damning things of all. Jennifer Jimenez actually has a background in dealing

with recovery and addiction. She was the one who said, that's called a relapse. She was the one, she needs this, that, and she was the one giving examples of why this is bad. I would say actually, the conversation that Brandy had with Jennifer

was more damaging to kim's reputation than anything that lisa and eileen chatted about you know those conversations were just like chatter they're like well is she i feel like something's wrong i think she's an addict but when jennifer jimenez gets up there on tv and says she relapsed that's actually like bam that's well she yeah because she like, she's relapsed. If you spot it, you got it. And that's bad.

And taking one pill is it. And then, and she's right. And that scene was also very scary. Cause it was like a battle of fillers. I mean, that was Jimenez's fillers against Glanville's fillers. It was like two beach balls,

just trying to kill each other. It was like the M&M's. It was like, uh, neither one of you is the blue m&m all right try harder you need to try it try try going more for a jelly belly let's get a little bit back more to normal yeah um but before we go into this next section because oh well actually before i go into the before the next section part um i really liked when and said, so Kyle, what's the deal with you being friends with Brandy at all?

Because you hated her last year and now you're friends or whatever. And Kyle's like, well, you know, I took some time to get to know her and to hang out with her and see her in real life with her kids. And I saw the good in her and I still do. And then Brandy looks offended like she just stabbed her. And I thought that's so funny because she's rolling her eyes because obviously kyle's getting a good point and these shows have gotten so disgusting that they're being mean to each other now by being nice it's like the new weapon is like who can be nicer it's like it's so gross and i love it i love the evolution of the reunion shows but that said um before we get into this next sister part, because the rest of it's just the sisters yelling at each other.

That part that Kyle was just saying, well, I saw the good in her. No, Kyle, you were her friend because you were anti-Vanderpump all season. You lost at the reunion last year. Everybody dogged you on Twitter and called you a cunt. Or a C word, sorry. And now you're trying to rehab your image by having someone else fight your battles for you you're totally being friends with Brandy to use her against Lisa I mean it's so obvious duh and this is the thing Brandy uses

everybody right like everybody said this whole season she's been using Kim to get it and she has she's been brainwashing Kim like that's obvious especially at the reunion she might as well have been holding like a sleek number control um but i think that something we haven't talked about is how everybody uses brandy but these women are smart enough to know how to manipulate and brandy's not so brandy can't do it right but the other women have just used her you know lisa used her because she had a funny little sidekick after cedric left that she could kind of do whatever she wanted and then this season uh kim used her because kim was using her to battle kyle for her so everyone thinks she's been using kim but kim's been using brandy too

so oh i know that we rail on brandy a lot but it hit me the other day watching it that this poor brandy has been totally manipulated by at least three people in this cast. And nobody's ever pointed that out because Brandy's so stupid with her social skills that she's always on the losing end. And that's why she can't be a housewife, girl. If you can't manipulate properly, you got played, bitch. Bye. Well, she does eventually realize, which is why she lashes out, you know, but it's her own fault. Yeah.

And it's also too late like she realizes at the very end of the episode and she's like i'm washing my hands of both you bitches i'm done with this well first yeah you're done because the season's over and you know you no longer need kim but i think yeah i think she realized she's been used by kim to battle kyle for her well it's funny because i think yeah i think kim uses her to battle kyle uh i think that brandy initially was trying to get both richard's sisters to go so way she'd have them against lisa i think brandy really had something out for lisa and then it became evident that then that it was now going to become her and kim against kyle and then by extension the whole cast you know yeah i love that

whatever happened last season kind of broke something in lisa like it broke this this filter that she had had on the show well she's always been a snarky kind of asshole in a funny way but she's uh something broke with her where this year she's basically just coming out and being like she is on vanderpump rules where she's bossing the staff around and she's like no darling i said you can't do that you know and that's bullshit you know when have we ever seen her like that at a reunion this time she's like pointing she's getting off the couch and she's going there because i think vanderpump rules has like shown that side of her or whatever she the reason why is because it's like what she says in her thing throw me to the wolves and she'll come back the leader they tried to destroy

lisa last year they did the best everyone turned against lisa it was she had no allies it was just her and she still came out on top and then she's just sort of realized that she's invincible so she can say whatever she wants because nothing will ruin her yeah um she was very funny she didn't say much you know she must have loved this reunion she She didn't have to do shit. All she had to do was sit there this time. I mean, last time she had to sit next to Andy and basically get her ass handed to her the entire time. Yeah. Thank you, Andy.

Yeah, stupid Brandy. Stupid Brandy is so dumb. She thought she could lead a revolution against Lisa last year. And, you know, it's like, okay, like, you won the battle, but you were clearly losing the war because now Lisa – basically, I'm not going to say that Lisa has turned the whole cast against Brandy, but – Brandy has turned the whole cast against Brandy. Yeah, exactly. The point is that she went up against the wrong person and she tried to – like, you just can't do that.

You can't – she's done. Get her off the show. Get her off Bravo. Get her off TV. Send her to the wasteland of VH1. Oh, Lord, because you can't do that. You can't. She's done. Get her off the show. Get her off Bravo. Get her off TV. Send her to the wasteland of VH1. Oh, Lord, because you know that's coming. Yeah, couples therapy. It'll be her and her gay live-in boyfriend.

It'll be her and someone in kindergarten. All right. So let's see here. So then we move on to the meat of the show, which was the sister fight, the Richards sister. Richards versus Richards. Split screen. We were talking about Rosie O'Donnell, Elizabeth Hasselbeck

sort of fight going on here. Screen was split. Tension was high. Without any brains. At least O'Donnell has some brains on her. She may be loopy, but she's semi-intelligent. I can't say the same for Hasselbeck. But yeah. It is like that

like that nice view split screen where it's like it's so it's coming on so so quickly so intensely there's just no room to ever cut away from either one of them so you just have to put both of them on screen yeah so it basically got into the kingsley stuff which is when this is when kim for like about 35 minutes was saying like oh, Oh, I'll say what really happened. You want me to go there? I haven't gone there before, but I'll go there. I'll go there. And they're like, what are you insinuating, Kim?

Nothing. It's private. I'm not going to say that. You want me to say it? You want me to say it? You want me to say it? Hey, you want me to say it? You want me to say it?

You want me to say it? You want me to say it? You want me to say it? You want me to say it? You know what say it you want me to say it you want me to say it you know you say it you know you say it you know what i hate about that you know what i hate about that because she's basically trying to assign kyle accountability for what awful things are about to come out it's basically saying like well i wouldn't have said it but kyle made me say it kyle like dared me to say it on national tv i would never have said it otherwise like shut the fuck up yeah and kyle's so done at this point she just was like okay go ahead you know she's just nodding at her and then kim acts later like kyle was the one who brought it up like oh my god kim so she's like okay you want to see it and or go ahead kyle say

it say it go ahead kyle and kyle's like her dog bit my daughter oh it it becomes this this whole thing where Kim is like oh I feel terrible laughing you should laugh you should laugh at this crazy bitch because she's getting mad this is the part where I was like oh she's on something like she's obviously just

she's obviously still using well she was furious because the dog bit Alexia it right it was alexia right and and oh well you know peter um and so kyle instagrammed a photo of alexia in the hospital with some of her sisters maybe your friends um and was like when life gives you lemons or whatever and kim was furious because she was like well you know you made a public display of it you made a public display and then everyone found out that my dog bit your daughter and kyle's like but i didn't i didn't hashtag it i didn't say it was like kim richard's damn dog or like bit by kingsley you know you told

people she's like well yeah i told my friends because by the way is it really such a bad thing if someone says oh what happened to alexia oh well uh kim's dog bitter it's like okay this is another example of it's not the action, it's the reaction. It's everybody else's reaction to Kim having a fucking dog that she can't handle biting people that's not trained. That dog should have been adopted out already. I was going to say put down. Because I think if you bite, I think dogs, like, if they bite a certain number of times, isn't there, like, a law? Yeah.

You have to put them down? There's a lot of liability issues, I think. And she's being sued by a neighbor down the street that she was calling her second mommy. And she's being sued by her because the dog also attacked some old lady. So that's why she's being sued right now in case we didn't train that earlier. The trainer from like two seasons ago who tried to train Kingsley, he got a lot of flack back then because it made it look like he was just slapping the dog and being abusive to the dog. And people were like, what sort of

trainer does that? And he contended then, and I think he still contends, that he wasn't like, that's not the way he trains dogs, that Kingsley tried to attack him and he was actually just defending himself. Yeah, he kicked the dog, but the dog was attacking him. Yeah, the dog was attacking him and he was defending himself and Bravo made it look like this was his training methods and he was like really mad about it and

it's like it's like getting mad at the mom at the end of kujo for shooting the dog i mean have you seen what that dog has done to the pinto what it's like in kujo getting mad at the mom for killing the dog did you see what that dog did to the Pinto? It's like this giant St. Bernard wrecking apart a car while this mom's just trying to save her son's life, and then they shoot it. And I think in this day and age, people would be like, she shot Cujo? Who would do that?

It just had rabies. Jesus, it was Cujo, all right? Yeah, I mean, the fact that Kim was mad that there was a Instagram photo, you know? I'm the owner of a dog that's half pit bull and half chihuahua. And this dog's pit bull side is there. He tries to bite old men. He tries to attack other dogs.

And I have to walk him on a short leash. And I can't let him, you know, it's part of from Wondery this is Black History for Real I'm Francesca Ramsey and I'm Consciously what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History. Rosa Parks, reconstruction, MLK, February, black history month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some.

As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th. Or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards,

played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10,

curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world

of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. the last thing you said is i'm the owner of a half uh chihuahua half pit bull and this dog's

pit bull side it comes out he bites people you know he bites old men sometimes like he tries to he tries to bite the gardener the mailman you know i have to whip him and try and train him it takes a strong hand and uh if not i get sued and that's just it but i wanted to say uh the uh dog trainer released some kind of statement – and this is before all this happened because Kim just got arrested today for the drunkenness. But he released some kind of statement at some point. I'm reading all of this, by the way, all over the internet, and I don't have my sources. But you guys can look it up easily if you need them, if this is a court case. But he was saying, yeah, that dog is too powerful for her.

She shouldn't have that dog. She's not training it well. She shouldn't have that dog. She's not training that well. She shouldn't have it, period. Yeah. I mean, it's an animal, okay? And the thing is this. So where I started to find that this really went to a despicable place was Kim then just starts yelling at Kyle and calling her horrible. She's like, you're horrible.

You're horrible. Well, Kim's – What did Kyle – I mean, like, why is Kyle horrible in this? Here's what she kyle i mean like why is what she did here's what she did and uh here's why she was calling her horrible and i didn't i mean i kind of got it during the reunion but when i was reading comments i think it was on the reddit thread or our own facebook thread i've been like obsessing and reading everything about this but i know that's sad but um wherever i read, a lot of people's opinions are that Kim was mad because she's in a lawsuit. So she's in a lawsuit for her dog attacking an old lady.

So by Kyle putting that out on Instagram, that's more evidence for the old lady to win this lawsuit. And that's what she was mad about. And obviously people are going to put two and two together and know that it's Kim's dog. So I get that. But you know what? It's not her fault. And she's not. No one is under, you know, it's infuriating. No one is supposed to be forced to keep your secrets.

If you want to keep your secrets and hide up in your house and you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. If you don't want your family calling you an alcoholic on national TV when no one knows, even that, I can see why she would have been mad at that in season one, obviously. Fine, I get it. But when you come on a reality show and you're still most likely drunk and you're doing all this shit, people are going to call you

on it. And in real life, if you do shit, if you're going to kick a cop, people are going to call you on that bitch. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, crazy. You know, I know what you're saying. I do get that, like that this could work against your case. But the truth is the thing that's working against that case is that dog.

Yeah, the dog bit somebody else. That's what's working against your case, Dodo. Yeah, that's the problem here, okay? And it's a big problem. I know it's a dog and people love dogs and people love their animals. But at a certain point, you actually do have to make some tough choices. And you have to, like, think about, you OK, is this is this dog safe to have around? This dog has now opened me up to litigation, whether or not the woman who's suing Kim has sued her in the past or is doing whatever, whatever the allegations have been thrown against this woman, whatever.

And the fact that Kim would ultimately kind of like indirectly take Kingsley's side over kyle and her niece you know it's so deplorable i think you know and then she says this is why i don't like her this is why i don't like her to kyle i mean it's like i you were just like an evil woman yeah and um all the other woman woman all the other women just kept shouting her down shouting her down and then she would start shouting back because she's not used to getting that from people she's not used to people calling her on her like that because mostly if it's not somebody in your family you know if you know a drunk or somebody you don't confront them or have a huge issue you know if people want to live in their own world generally as human beings we let them do that so to have all these people telling her that she's mean and she's a bully. Kim looks like she's never heard that.

This is the first time that Kim's ever been taken out of her victim bubble where she's been called a bully. And she's been called the victimizer. And you could tell it in her face because she looked completely beaten up that anyone would say that to her. And then she whips out the old, but you know it's a hard time because monty's dying yeah like really yeah she's oh my god i love that she's able to use someone else's problems so well she's you know what if kim had cancer she wouldn't want people talking about that on national tv but if it's somebody else's cancer she can use that as her you know she could use that as her problem it's like why is it okay to talk about everybody else's problems and use them as your own you've got your own shit bitch use your own shit

exactly and monty may may love kingsley and kingsley may be very helpful to monty's like well someone loved hitler too but no but but the thing is this though like and i know dog lovers will probably come down on me for this but in some cases like a dog is a dog like so maybe. Like, so maybe you can, like, get a different dog for Monty, you know, and it'll still have those therapeutic values. I mean, I just don't think that, like, then bringing Monty into this is such, it is like, you just don't do, that's just. Girl, knowing that Kim Richards is driving around this town in a giant car with a Kingsley is terrifying. this town in a giant car with a kingsley is terrifying and then she starts saying about the instagram photo it hurt my whole family my whole family you know fuck off you hurt your whole family your family in here is this like shield every single anything that goes wrong it's gonna hurt the family the dog is hurting the family the dog is actually literally hurting the family

yeah well kim you know the the fact that this all happened right after the reunion is really sad. Because God knows what she's been taking on the internet. And she's too fragile. She can't take that shit. Someone just needs to say, don't read. Which normally I'm sure they haven't had to tell her. But don't read. Don't listen to anything.

Don't watch anything. Because you're being eviscerated. She needs to go to a 90-day rehab where she is not, she has no access to the internet or TV. She just, you know, and she can, except for like sending emails, etc.

She needs to get her head straightened out. She needs to get on a proper program. She also needs to want to heal. Yeah, she needs to like really like do it right this time i'm not you know the thing is we talk about her sobriety as if it's this easy walk in the park and like we both recognize it's not it's not easy at all but she doesn't she has not appeared to us at least as like she's been taking the proper steps and she needs to get back in there and do it right so she can like get back

on the right path and like rebuild things because things. Because when she starts talking about telling Andy that her children and her dogs are off limits to be discussed, to me that's just so ridiculous and delusional. Children, I get. But you can't talk about the dog. Why can you not talk about the dog? You know, I mentioned this actually in my- Hey, this is like my son.

What is someone talking about your son? Your dog is not your son. I mean, I know that to a dog owner like me, yes, that is kind of like our child in a way that can never talk back or make any decisions on its own or can never tell you what a dick you are. It's like the perfect kind of child, you know? They can never argue with you, really, you know?

So it's the same. It's not the same as a relationship. Like, I get it. If I were walking with someone and their dog was being an asshole, I'd be like, oh, God, your dog is really out of control. I wouldn't do that because I understand the respect issue there. But if there's a situation like this where a dog is inflicting harm and is at the root of some controversy on the real housewives,

I think it's totally acceptable to talk about the dog because the reason why we don't why why not we because we talk about everything but the reason why the you know why the request is made don't don't bring my kids into this don't talk about my kids is because the kids could theoretically hear this right and the kids could hear it and kids are young they're innocent and they're impressionable and they hear something like this it could really be harmful to them psychologically it could really mess with them in a way that's like not fair to do to a child but a dog doesn't hear it it doesn't get back the dog doesn't know any differently so yeah well i wanted to point out also uh another

comment that someone left about if you go on to monty's i think it was they said their twitter his instagram if you go look at his you know really dig and go far back. It's all pictures of him partying with porn stars and shit like that and, like, living a party life. And, you know, that can't be good to be living with either because if she was using with him when they were married, they've probably still got that kind of relationship now. It's like, yeah, come over if you got cancer and bring a dime bag. You know, it's like part of it might be that, you know,

she's taking care of him because he has cancer. And part of it might be just because they're partying together. You know, like a lot of it is like Monty has cancer, but it doesn't make him the most innocent person in the world either. She's probably got kind of a user friend back in her life, which can't be too helpful. I just thought that was something interesting because I've just always looked at,

I've never really thought of that. Like, oh, this is someone's from Kim's past well in kim's past she's always been fucked up and now she's living with someone from her past again right and that can't be helpful you know it's not just the maid dusting picture frames going oh no please don't trip please don't trip again well another interesting thing in here which we never got to in this uh reunion no one ever brought it up was when brandy was saying saying, well, you know, I called Kyle. I called her because there was something really wrong with Kim and Kyle just washed her hands of it and she wouldn't even deal with it. And then Kyle just calmly goes, that's not why you called me that night, Brandy.

What does that mean? Why did Brandy call her? What was she freaking out about that we don't know regarding Kim? And damn it, that's something we never got to. And I want to know what it is. And another thing the editors never did. It's personal. I don't know if Rinna pissed them off or what.

But when they kept saying, well, roll the tape. They kept saying roll the tape on something that they would not roll the tape on. Oh, you know what? Maybe they did. Maybe it was finally the Jennifer Jimenez thing. Yeah, the Jennifer Jimenez thing. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. By the way, I have to also give some props to Lisa Rinna, who, when Kim was doing this whole

thing about, like, my kids, my dog, off-limits, da-da-da, and then Lisa Rinna was like, well, then why do a reality show? Yeah. And she's like, well, your husband's off-limits, and then everybody laughs openly. Well, the difference is that, like, her husband is off limits for you to try to slander and try to, like, say something nasty about. But I don't think her husband's off limits if you have questions about X, Y, and Z, you know?

And Rinna's like, go ahead. Say it, baby. Say it. What did he do, baby? Baby. Yeah, Renna's basically, in my mind, just Amy Phillips doing Lisa Renna at this point. It's so good. In my mind now, all she says is, baby.

And at one point, Lisa Renna turns to the other two and goes, she needs to own that dog bite. Yeah, I love that. Stay strong, Kyle. Stay strong, Kyle. but you know what she's right she doesn't she never once did never once did kim own the dog bite nor did she um apologize for it and she almost seemed to be implying that there was a deeper story behind the dog bite which is didn't she say somewhere didn't i read somewhere somewhere that Kim was mad because she had told the kids, don't go in the room because Kingsley is in there

and the kids went in there anyway and they got bit. So now it's like... Supposedly, that was the story that was on the internet. That was like the original story that was on the internet was that the kids went into a room they weren't supposed to so they got bit, but that wasn't brought up. So it makes me wonder if that was ever true. Yeah.

Because I feel like if Kim had that, she would have brought that up well she probably didn't want to like bring the kids into it i love it the part where they're fighting over this instagram picture and uh andy just gets that like really confused you know how he looks like confused half the time yeah and then he goes so this is the reason you've been fighting? He's expecting some deep family drama. And part of the biggest travesty in all of this is Kyle's such an asshole too. And you know that these sisters, like we've seen when Kyle gets mad and she tried to throttle Kim in the first season.

This is the second time someone's been throttled in a Housewives show and they've both times it's been Kim. So what does that tell you? Kyle tried to throttle her the first season and this season, you know, Rinna tried to throttle her, but you know that Kyle has a crazy temper too. And nothing that happened when they were growing up was okay. Because everything that people have posted about that book that was written about their, the biography that was written about their family is just like devastating to read it's awful awful stuff like their mom was a drunk and and uh kim was always working so kyle was working on a sitcom but she used to they used to have to like drive kim she used to have to drive kim's car or something and she was underage and didn't have a license but had to learn to drive to go pick her

drunk mom up from bars and her mom was always bringing home all these dues to sleep with i mean it just sounds horrible horrible yeah so you know you can see like a little of where this comes from but kyle's just as bad she made she got her life together and married a successful person and has a really nice family and stuff right and kim didn't and And you can see where all the awful, awful stuff is coming into play. But, you know, Kyle can just sit back and smile at this point because she can see that Kim's off the rails and she knows what happens when Kim's off the rails. So she can just sit back and watch with a little smile on her face

and let Kim lose it. But she never will, though. But she never will because she ultimately, I think, always wants that approval from Kim. And she'll never get it. Maybe. But now she's got so many people on her side saying, no, Kim's abusive. Kim's abusive.

And so that's kind of the narrative in her head now. And she's like, that's it. I'm done with Kim. I mean, she hasn't talked to Kim since the show ended. You know, one thing that I think is really sort of amazing to watch and sort of in a cynical way, You know, one thing that I think is really sort of amazing to watch and sort of in a cynical way, but the relationship between Kim and Kyle truly is the culmination of these past. Is it five seasons of Beverly Hills? Yeah. I mean, a lot of times, you know, people will be friends on all these reality shows.

People will be friends one season, then season, then there'll be enemies and there'll be friends. I mean, it's like back and forth. And it's like, you know, where their friendship is in season five has nothing to do with where their friendship was season two. And if they had a fight, they'd be like, well, we had a rough patch, but we got through it. But with Kim and Kyle, it truly is a culmination of all the stuff that's happened. There have been some seasons when Kim has been almost like a non-factor. And it's like, what is she doing on this show, et cetera. But when you look back, you see how how it's all like the season when she was

doing nothing was when she got kingsley you know and when you look back it all has added up to this moment it's kind of amazing it's like it's to me it's like a very fascinating family tale hollywood family tale and it's this particular on tv but yet it's sort of great that it is this particular show um is kind of the fun to me i think it's the funniest one because maybe because we live here and they're all so many of them are gen i almost said that they're all but so many of them are like genuinely wealthy and they're just kooks like when it was camille and adrian and lisa i mean these women have so much money i mean tens of millions of dollars they're not like the normal housewives that are like blue-collar housewives,

you know, where they're like, I'm hawking my wine, you know, trying to make the rent or whatever, even though they do hawk their products. But they're not desperate for that money, you know? Yeah. And it's the most fun, but it's also just the saddest. I mean, this is the one where we saw Taylor telling everybody her husband was abusing her, even though we never know if that was true or not. Then her husband killed himself.

Then Kelsey was having an affair that whole time. And she practically found out on camera when she took her friends to Broadway and realized that he was going to dump her. Yeah. I mean, the most awful things have happened on Beverly Hills. The most traumatic things in Housewives history have happened. And I hope that Kim doesn't die because it's not looking good. Yeah, I mean, I think I read a review of Beverly Hills once. This is both the sunniest and most glamorous of the franchises, and yet it also has the darkest undercurrent of any of them.

And it's true, and I think that's actually what makes it great. And I'm not celebrating. I'm not to like revel in people's real dark issues, but I think in some ways I think it makes it very fascinating because there is, you know, there's real shit going on. And we complain about some of these shows where it's just like, like New Jersey last season, there actually was some real shit going on. Someone was about to go to jail, but most of the drama on that show felt fabricated. It felt people felt like people trying to make their mark on camera. And here you just had,

you just, you've just had it for a few seasons now, real stuff. And last season, the reason why last season didn't work so well for viewers is because Carlton and the other one felt like Joyce felt like they just were, you know, there to make drama,

you know, and it didn't bring any of the real stuff that we're used to on this show. Well, we're pretty much done. It just ends with Twitch having a nervous breakdown on camera for all of our enjoyment. So it was kind of a sick way to end it. And it was definitely a long season because we talked about it so much on this

show and then writing you know freaking recaps of it every time it comes out and those recaps ain't short and sorry for that but man by the end of this i was exhausted this was like a four to five hour writing session on this show and i just felt horrible at the end especially just looking at kim man i've just had that argument before with somebody who's not well and just seeing her completely broken like that was just so sad you know god bless her man but and if you want to if you want to see our ronnie's recap of my photo cap they're on our facebook page yeah come read them they're both funny and oh my god the favorite part of your photo cap is when kim says you never apologized to kingly i died i wish i could like have you act out my photo cap that would make me so happy your photo caps are so good i've missed

them thank you so it's really nice to get them because i would never have even started recapping or working on the internet had it not been for you benjamin ronnie and i wouldn't even be here today my hero if it weren't for you i you know i it was so fun writing it like i i love writing photocaps and i would do them all the time except it actually just really distracts me too much from trying to get my my tv writing career off the ground. Well, you know, I mean, it's just joke writing. So if you can translate that into your TV work, I think you'll be just fine. Well, thank you.

Thank you. And, you know, sometimes I wish I could, too, because all this stuff, it's just such a weird life to lead, you know, where it's like, yeah, I write 10-page recaps and talk about Housewives for a living. And sometimes at the end of it when it's so sad and i'm like i'm sitting here like about to cry about some woman i don't even know but i feel so guilty for like i'll read it back and think how can you be such a

cunty human being like what happened to you as a child which of course i could tell you what happened to me as a you know but i'm like what happened and why is it like that and then things like when lisa rena can't come on because it's just too too mean and then i wake up the next day and i'm like fuck it this is worth it it's worth it this is a good life and i'm not gonna feel bad about it this is a fun fucking life and so thank you to all you real housewives whether you're like having a great happy life or whether you're just breaking down on camera, whatever it is, you're giving me something fulfilling to do with my life. So you see,

even Kim Richards, when you're falling off the wagon, you are giving me a life. So thank you. See? And on top of that, when you spend all this time writing this stuff, Lisa Rinna tweets it out and that's a pretty awesome thing. Yeah. I would like to thank David for always being there for me.

My love. Now, after this, like, very intense and evil reunion, it was kind of like a breath of fresh air to cross coasts and go to Real Housewives of New York. Oh, God. Thank Jesus for that. And I was like, I was so happy for it because, you know, one thing that I love about New York City that you don't really get in any of the other franchises of this, of the Real Housewives, is that it always kind of begins in like a few episodes in the Hamptons. Like there's always kind of like this traditional first few episodes, like it sort of starts off in the Hamptons. And it's sort of like a great way to kind of ease into the season, you know, in this luxurious beachy locale,

you know, it's kind of like everyone's come back from summer break. And so we had our first Hamptons episode of the season this week. Oh, Luann's new house is so pretty. No, Luann is just wonderful. You know,

Luann went through a phase there where she was really, she was being a C word for about like one or two seasons there. And I was like, oh, Luann went through a phase there where she was really, she was being a C word for about like one or two seasons there. And I was like, oh, Luann. But she is back like on top in my book. Yeah, she's very funny. My favorite was Ramona going, listen, Luann, let me talk to you for a second, Luann. Because I have to say that, you know, when I said those things to you, Luann, you know, I never knew what I was saying until it happened to me. And now I can see I owe you such a huge apology.

I owe you the biggest apology. It's huge. I owe you the biggest apology because now I understand. And I'm so, you know, really, I'm so sorry, Luann, okay? And Luann's like, well, we'll see. Because I've had a lot of Ramona apologies. Well, the best is that Ramona's like, you know, I said things. She wouldn't even take it.

We'll see. I know. I was laughing. Luann was being, she was like, I'm not sure. Because then they show a flashback of Ramona being like, Mario and I have been married for 18 years, and I can only hope that you find someone that you can be married to for 18 years as well. You know, because we're very happy, and I can only hope that you find someone that you can be married to for 18 years as well, you know, because we're very

happy, and I hope you are happy too, and I hope you stop cheating with people, and that you're like me and Mario. And I hope you find someone that's not outscrewing half of the city, and, you know, I hope that you can stop being, you know, going to key parties, and acting like a whore, okay? I hope you stop

hanging around with Geraldine Parsons-Smith, okay? Because she's a bad influence, okay? Well, we'll see. I also liked how in the beginning of the episode, you know, Ramona's new thing now is that she has these random moments of motivational, inspirational, whatever. Like last week when she was like, oh, I like these plates, they remind me of sunshine.

So this week, she was carrying two i like these i like these plates they remind me of sunshine so this week she was like carrying two glasses and like two vases somewhere and she's like oh my god i don't think i can carry this all no wait i can do it i could be think positive think positive i can do it it's like way to go way to go ramona it's the new me in the vase i'm surprised she wasn't trying to sell that jewelry it's the new me i'm rejuvenated what was her what was her jewelry line or whatever true it was like true religion no true no it's like i'm i'm rejuve it was something like rejuvenation three seasons ago her whole thing was like it's like i'm rejuvenated it's a new me i kind of remember and she had that jewelry party on a on a boat and no one could get away and she's like oh but this one would look look bethany it's the new me it's a new me because of rejuvenation or whatever it's called it's so funny bethany's like get me off

this boat i can't be on this boat uh so let's see here uh they basically went to a dinner party at the new house right and another thing i love about this show and what was such a breath there after beverly hills is the fights on this show are legitimately stupid every time. I mean, they are just the dumbest fights. This big fight that looks like it's going to go on all season, by the way, or at least a few episodes, is just Bethany being a bitch. Well, let's hold it. There's a lot of stuff that happens before that fight. Okay, okay.

You go through it. My notes, I only have four line notes because I was chopping vegetables during the show. Okay, okay, you go through it. My notes, I only have four line notes, because I was chopping vegetables during the show. Well, first of all, I have to say I'm surprised that Ramona loves Dorinda so much, considering that Dorinda has a home in the Berkshires. That was like, when Dorinda was like, yeah, I have a house in the Berkshires, I was like,

you are never going to get Ramona up there. We saw what happened, and if you do, be careful. And they even had Ramona say something about it. She's like, well, some people live in the Hamptons and some people live in the Berkshires, okay? It's like, oh, okay. It's okay now because of Dorinda. Mr. Jetson!

I loved how there was also a flashback at some point during the episode to Ramona being like, oh, we got to go to Quag. Well, who's going to go to Quag? That's like bringing quag back most of this most of the fights on this show are about how far they have to go places because that's new york it's a pain in the ass to go anywhere like that one where alex and simon had that party on governor's island and people are like oh i have to take a ferry oh god yeah you know for all the new yorkers that come to la and like i just don't know if i could deal with the traffic it's all the driving everywhere i don't know if i can deal with it well guess what you can't even deal with

taking a subway from manhattan to brooklyn so like don't say like don't act like this is los angeles's fault it's your fault yeah at least being in a car you're alone yeah and you can sing music yeah there's no one like threatening to pee on you before you get to the next stop yeah usually um so then uh so they all went out to Hamptons. And Dorinda was staying with Ramona in the house. And then Sonia came in. And Sonia, of course, is like, well, I brought some lo mein. I brought some beef and broccoli.

And, you know, I just came from Saint-Tropez. And I was like, I sold my yacht. And I used that money to buy some wonton soup. And I was talking to Carolyn Sandsbury. I was like, oh, did she just name drop a lady of london wow that's so her she's probably like tweet at her yeah tang girl so it looks like this season they're gonna try and gang up on sonia because everybody's topic of conversation is that sonia's changed and sonia's out of control and if this becomes another season about alcoholism, I mean

thank God I'm not recapping this shit because I can't take it. No more. I feel beat up. The difference is that Sonia is like for the most part a funny drunk. She's like funny. Sometimes she becomes like a little bit of a victim but the next day she's like, well, you know whatever. I was having a good time. I was lit. I was lit. Yeah.

But when Sonia came in, she found out that she was uh not gonna be in the bedroom that she normally stays at she's like she's like what i'm in mario's dog house now okay okay singer i get it singer like i didn't know it'd be a big deal yeah she's like i didn't know it would be a problem if you want me to sleep downstairs i could do that too i don't care um yeah dorinda is really adorable i hope to god that dorinda doesn't become an asshole because i'm loving that they brought bethany back who used to kind of be the voice of reason but now bethany is like completely crazy it's like i don't know what these women think of me i don't know what they think of my success am i you know blah blah i don't know if they like me if they resent me i don't know i don't know what they

think and it's like oh shut up and now they've got dorinda i spend all my time in my car i'm so sick of spending time in my car as she like cuts her like beautiful suv with a driver and like leg room for miles yeah rent an apartment how about that yeah you don't have to buy a $50 million apartment. Just rent a place, okay? Rent a space. Meanwhile, in the Hamptons, so Luanne has a new home. So Carol and Heather were there. And Noel was there.

Noel has turned into a hottie. That little awkward boy has grown up. He's 18 and he's hot. Yeah, he's cute. But my favorite part which made me think of you immediately ronnie was when they were talking about the house and heather goes noel's crib is the bomb god heather uh yeah she did she did another thing like that in this episode i caught where she was talking about bethany oh i I forgot what it was, but she's like, yeah, that's fat.

She said something like that where I was like, oh, stop. Stop. If you spoke like that on P. Diddy's boat, he'd kick you off of it. You'd be swimming right now. Stop it, white person. Stop it.

It's the bomb. Not even white person. Just like, accept your age and your status and stop, you know, like, stop it, please. She's like, I'd love to stay, Luann, but I gotta be outie 5,000 and get to Noelle's crib. She's like, puff, puff, give.

It's time to fly. I can't even do it. You know why? Because I'm almost 40. That's why, Heather. Okay? This house is so fly. Wow, there's so much bling in this kitchen. Have you been flossing, Luanne? Oh, Heather.

She's like, don't get ratchet with me, Missy. That's actually too current for her. Luanne's like ratchet. I don't have a ratchet. I don't know. Be cool. Uncool. Why do you keep talking about hoes i don't like to garden that's sonia's job so we've already been going for an hour 17 so let's skip to the

meat wait wait there's still funny things i got notes i wrote lots of notes okay okay okay i gotta just hold on celebrate let's celebrate because you know all that's coming next is shaz and southern trauma and there's not much well southern charm i have nothing for but i have some good shaz shit okay so um i then we had a scene when um uh ramona and sonia uh and uh dorinda went to a restaurant and by the way ramona's sister came ramona's sister looks exactly like avery if you ask me also very beautiful not that that should matter about anything but um also she doesn't have bug eyes yeah but my favorite part was the waitress goes to take the menu from sonia and sonia shakes her hand and she's like hello and turned us like it was like she was being accepted by the queen it's like she was the queen accepting people oh my god that was that was such an amazing moment the delusion of sonia

oh god so then um so then luann has this like sort of like a housewarming party or something sonia brought her own beer which is like almost like amazing and sad at the same time and then she could barely even pour it into her i would call that sad But I carry a little flask of hundred proof smear off in my pocket to everywhere I go so and is it bad? I'm with you girl. Is it bad that I One of the reasons why I can't go on in a recovery addiction tirade about Sonia is that she just looks so damn good But I'm like do whatever you want girl. Yeah, when you're, when you're not at rock bottom, you're still okay. When you were dressed that well, I mean, whatever. Give yourself as much booze as you want.

She looked fantastic. You know, a little blazer. I like Sonya. I didn't like her so much the first year because she was so normal and weird. I just didn't like that. I liked her when she got nuts. Her first year was the best because she stayed out of the fray and she just spent the entire time just being glamorous and being like,

oh, whatever. But then she lost her mind. Yeah. So anyway, so this, now we're going to get to the meat of it, which is that Bethany

shows up at this party. This was, this was, by the way, it looked like a really fun party. Everyone was having fun. Bethany shows up and you know what?

She's just like a social sledgehammer, right? She shows up, she sort of has this look on her face like, oh, so what's going on? What's going on here? What are people doing? Huh?edgehammer right she shows up she sort of has this look on her face like oh so what's going on what's going on here what are people doing huh yeah she just shows up like hey you can feel the energy shift just from watching on tv and everyone's trying to be so nice to her and she's not having it you know and she's like being snarky at everybody and not in a funny

way but kind of a dick way like oh yeah that's how you are that's how you are she's almost like showing that she's been burdened to come to this thing you know well the big complaint about her pre-season is that bethany doesn't want to shoot with anybody she doesn't want to get involved in anything all she wants to do is show up and hawk her products you know like she'll only go somewhere where she can have a skinny girl bottle somewhere right and in fact it was kind of funny because uh heather was kind of like trying to crack a joke like so did you know because i guess i guess um bethany wrote an inscription on one of her books to luann like you helped me come up with the skinny girl whatever and luann you know luann always like i've seen i got the impression of an just laughed it off she

wasn't sitting there with sour grapes. But Heather makes a joke being like, oh, it's so funny. My friend helped me come up with the yummy name. And I always said I'd buy her a Rolex or something. And Bethany's like, well, I'm not going to buy a Rolex. What do I have to do? I have to buy a Rolex? It's like, you know, just calm down, Bethany.

Yeah. And then they showed the clip of her not helping invent it. Yeah. Bethany's like, this is a skinny girl martini it has you know this this and this and she's like oh that sounds good i'll have that too that's not really helping i don't think you get a car for that yeah luanne's like wow this skinny girl margarita is really fly it's the bomb dot com i'm gonna take it back to my crib i learned these things from heather in the future so of course bethany starts getting all defensive What did she even get mad at Ramona about?

Oh, because she says, oh, you want to come to brunch tomorrow? Who did she invite to brunch? No, no, no, no, no, no. What happened was someone invited Bethany to brunch. Who was it? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Bethany invited Sonia to brunch. Okay, because they were all trying to figure out brunch.

And what was hilarious is in the middle of this, someone recommended like, we can go to district and Luann's like, but no, I can't take my boat there. That's awesome. Sorry. I just dropped a fan.

I'll get it later. It's okay. It was, I can't take my boat there. Yeah. But then, but then I was like, I felt bad for her.

She's like, no, I wanted to, you know, I want to take the boat to brunch. I want to do brunch on the boat. She's like, no, I wanted to take the boat to brunch. I wanted to do brunch on the boat. I was like, oh, Luann. And Ramona's like, you're not going anywhere.

Because it's my house, and I'm hosting. And who does that? Who steals guests? You can't steal my guests. And Bethany's like, what? There's rules. There's rules about guests. And then it turned into this neurotic arguing session between Bethany and Ramona.

Bethany's like, I'm not doing this with you, and leaves. Yeah, well, at first they consulted Luann. They're like, Ramona's like, Luann, is it allowed for Bethany to invite my guest away from my home for brunch? And Luann's like, well, yes, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. But your guest has to uh you know you know run it by you first she's like okay all right okay then okay i'm wrong so you all got my email right that i sent about brunch and they're like no she's like oh my email i have this thing

where my email's going to the trash like yeah i'm like that's not the way a spam filter works a spam filter doesn't work on outgoing emails it's not like a simple it's like well let's not send this let's just go to trash this email is too stupid for your friends to see so i'm sorry i've saved you the embarrassment and put it in the trash that would be a good that would be a good filter actually we should invent that i'll buy you a car if i ever invent that uh oh please do please do it was noted here on the podcast um so anyway so what happens is bethany like goes out bethany and ramona go outside and then that's when they have their weird fight and bethany's like listen listen i know you're going through a lot right now and ramona's like

i'm not going through shit life is full of shit we're all going through shit. Life is full of shit. We're all going through shit. Okay? I love Ramona's positive attitude now. It's like, I'm not going through shit. I've got plates that look like sunshine. I held two glasses and two vases today. I'm not going through shit. It was wonderful. I did it. Mario might be going through a midlife crisis,

but I'm going through a midlife spring awakening. I'm awakened. I'm fine. I'm doing, but I'm going through a midlife spring awakening. I'm awakened. I'm fine. I'm doing great. I'm not divorced yet, and so I'm still married. I'm married. I'm still fine. I'm still married. Okay. Okay. And then Bethany starts, like, she starts being, like, annoying. She's like, you know what? I just

don't want to hang out. You know what? I just don't want to hang out with you. That wasn't very nice. That was, like, really, really rude. I don't like that hang out you're like you know what i just don't want to hang out that wasn't very nice it was actually that was like really really rude i don't like that bethany's coming back like this i was kind of hoping she'd come back as like season one or season two bethany who's frazzled but still like normal i mean what happened to you woman yeah but the best part is that ramona basically kelly ben simone's bethany kelly ben simone to alex mccord and beth everyone was like okay shh okay take a deep breath that was amazing okay it's okay it's all right bethany you don't need to be like this it's all right no one's gonna hurt you no one's gonna throw spaghetti no one's gonna get it we're not gonna make you walk through the forest in the Berkshires where your father did mean things to your mother and you used to have to hide there because you got spaghetti sauce in your face after your father got mad that you didn't finish your homework.

Okay. Hey, Geraldine Potsdam Smith is in Quag right now. She can't get to you. Okay. God bless her. Ramona. And then Bethany's like, no, I don't want to be friends with you. I don't like this. This is ridiculous. I don don't want to be friends with you I don't like this

this is ridiculous I don't even want to talk to you I don't even want to have to like speak with you interact shut up and then she like leaves all mad it's like that's gonna make you mad

how are you back on a housewife show yeah and she's like I'm gonna go back to my house even though I'm homeless well I like that they're gonna you know hopefully it would be funny as shit if Bethany ended up becoming the villain.

Because she deserves it. She do. And by the way, next week, the previews for next week, I cannot wait when they spring Kelly Ben Simone on Bethany by surprise. Oh, my God. She should know. She should know they do that shit. I know. I mean, how brilliant is that?

That's so good. I mean, they brilliant is that? That's so good. I mean, they didn't even show that in the previews for the season. Like, they could have, and, you know, everyone would have been watching. But they're like, no, we're just going to, this will be a big surprise for the audience. Kelly, oh my god. All right, so are you ready to move on, or do you have more for this? I'm done. I'm ready.

Let me see. Yeah, okay. That's enough of that. Okay, so for Shaz, Shaz was not that exciting. But there is some Shaz stuff going on right now. I also stole this off Reddit. So thank you, Reddit. You're turning into a very good little site for me to take stuff from.

So Reza is having a fight with Jessica right now on, or yesterday, I guess, on Instagram. Because Gigi posted this picture. And of course I didn't bring it up yet, but Gigi posted some picture that's like, if you're going to fuck with my best friend, you're dead to me, you stupid whore or something like that. And then she hashtagged it like,

because Jessica had said something like, yeah, we took Reza's check. He did give us a check for our wedding and I wiped my ass with it and then sent it back to him. And then Reza wrote back, oh, really? How does one wipe their ass? How does one wipe their ass and mail back my $500 check when you've already cashed it?

And then he has a picture of the check that she's already cashed. That's so Persian. Homegirl cashed my check. That's like, white people just love to cash checks but persian people are like cash only baby and jessica writes i'll wipe my ass with your 500 wedding gift uh mail the check to a goal and then i'll mail it to gold nessa god knows she needs it more so all this is going on on twitter so i guess things didn't calm down and then someone wrote uh jessica like you're not acting like a lady you're acting like ridiculous ridiculous. And when you got, you know, that your reaction to being proposed to was ridiculous, too. And then she wrote back, says the bitter bitch who's single with the cat as her profile picture or a dog as her profile picture.

And this is like a random fan. And the fan wrote back, sorry, honey, but I have a husband and two kids and a dog. But nice try, idiot. You know, Jessica is a real piece of work. She's a spoiled brat, basically. She's a spoiled princess, and she just wants to be married. That's her life goal. And she was, before any

of this happened, she was saying nasty things about these, about Mike's friends. And again, like we've said before, are these people great people? No. I was gonna say, yeah, she's right, but still. She's right, but still. She's right, but still her fiancé is friends.

And she shouldn't be so nasty like that. I'm sure her friends are nothing special. I'm sure they're just a bunch of party girls who do nothing but get coked up or something. But I think that she's very stupid. And the reason why she's stupid is because she should know better than to get into a fight with a rageful queen like Reza. Because he's going to mobilize all the gays against her. And then she's done. Yeah.

You know that. That's pretty stupid. And also, what's her end play? I mean, it seemed like she liked Mike because he was on a reality show. And she was kind of drawn to the fame of all of that. And, you know, pressuring him to get married and blah blah blah you don't do that with someone who's already on tv if you're not it's vh1 couples therapy that's where reality stars who get kicked off yeah but that's a one one and done thing i mean that's

where you go once you're kicked off but you don't get kicked off on purpose and go i mean what's her game plan does she really think she's gonna get the entire cast fired and like new persons hired that'll be nice to mike i mean what does she think she i don't that i don't think she's going to get the entire cast fired and like new persons hired that'll be nice to mike i mean what does she think she i don't i don't think she does think like she's ostracizing herself from everybody to the point where he's not going to be able to film with anybody because already he's not you know he had that lunch with asa which you know i could see why he was being distant because she's like look we're friends i want to be friends with you and you know we need to get this stuff under the table and you know i don't like that we're distant and

he started warming up and then she's like so is it true yeah did you try and fuck gg and he's like no and she's like but were you in her room and he's like uh uh she's like a solid 10 minutes passes and then he's like i don't even remember to be honest with you and then they show in the future him saying who cares if I tried to fuck her? So not looking good for that whole case. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I also thought it was sort of funny that they were, they both met, unlike La Brea,

even though they live on the West Side. And that was sort of mean of production to do to them. It's like, you guys both have to drive an hour out of your way just to- The West Side will not let us film there anymore. Please come. We're just going to go further east until we're in fucking Echo Park at some Mexican food restaurant for every scene. That sounds delicious actually.

But also I think they have a – oh, no. I was going to say the first thing. I think they have a deal with that restaurant, the first scene where they were having an eating contest. Oh, yeah, the M. Who cares? Why am I watching that? But, yeah. Meanwhile, I wanted to go there like right afterwards.

Wasn't that that Brazilian steakhouse that they went to on Real Housewives of Atlanta that was that was the chain what's it called not Pucca da Peppa this place was just called M Grill which I've driven by a million times I had no idea it was a Brazilian place whatever they call it

but see look we're giving M Grill all that publicity hey M Grill if you want to I had no idea it was a Brazilian place, whatever they call it. See, look, we're giving M Grill all that publicity. Hey, M Grill, if you want to give us a free meal, we'll be happy to podcast from your restaurant. Yeah, shit, you can sponsor this show with a club sandwich and a glass of wine. Yeah. Doesn't take much.

Doesn't take much, guys. So anyway, so let's see, what happened? That's really all I had on Shaz. I have some stuff written down. It says, showing off ring, which I heard that they switched for a smaller ring. That's something else Golnessa said.

I think it was Golnessa who said that on Twitter. I mean, I don't know if I believe anything Golnessa even says. Well, I don't believe any of that. Her rheumatoid arthritis may cause her to type a lot of things incorrectly. You know, Ra. People are like, why do you have a Ra tattoo? Are you Egyptian? Did you work in a college dorm at one point?

Are you a nurse? That'd be R.N., but it's still funny. What's an R.A.? Isn't that something? Resident advisor. Oh, sorry. Can you tell who's never been to a hospital or college? Okay, so, yeah.

So, Jess doesn't want to mend fences. She says that at the dinner. She's like, I don't want to mend fences. I'm done with them. They're disgusting. Eating contest, I don't care. Reza's not getting sex anymore from his man. And, you know, Reza's such an idiot.

First of all all your sex life might and look i know this sounds mean of me and i'm not being mean i'm just being realistic like you've gained probably 50 pounds at least since you've been dating this guy that might have something to do with it you can't be letting yourself go all crazy and then being like why doesn't my lover want to have sex as much go to the gym he still goes to the gym yeah you know one thing that will really drive down someone's libido is if you start to look like a character from the yellow submarine so take that take that harry harry yeah you know and it's not like he had a perfect body when he was married

and i'm a bigger guy and i still get laid but you know what if i gained 50 pounds i don't know you got to think about those things also his bedside mannerside manner. Oh, my God. He's like, well, you know, I wanted to talk about a prenup. And Adam's like, OK, because he's not going to fight on TV. But, you know, he's not going to be OK with the prenup. Who the hell would be? And who springs that after they've already said, you know, you've already got someone to say yes to marry you and do all of this stuff. You've made a public engagement a long time ago. And now you're going to bring this up? Too late. Sorry. Too late. Yeah. Yeah.

But then he's like, well, what? You know, why? And he's like, well, you know, we haven't even been. That's how you're going to tell your boyfriend that you want more sex by threatening a prenup. That's not cool. It's like, fuck me more or I'm going to get a prenup is what it came off to me. I don't like that. Yeah, well, that's so Persian.

Threaten a prenup in order to have sex. And then to say we don't even have to get married. We could just pretend we're married. Not romantic. How are you expecting anybody to get a boner for you now? And he's like, your only pickup line is when you say, I'm going to take a shower. And then he's like, yeah, well, yours is only suck my dick. That's hot.

That is not hot. Okay? You're watching too much Pornhub. No one thinks that's hot. Suck my dick. No one sits on traffic cones either. Stop taking stuff you learned on Pornhub. Okay?

It's not real. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't even want to think about it. Said me to the person who spit on my face during sex. Who does that? I don't even want to think about Reza looking at Pornhub, to be honest. I'm still already scandalized by the episode where a twink licked Reza's armpit. And I'm even more horrified that that was the one episode of Shaz I watched with my dad.

Oh, my God. Yeah, that is a scary thought. In my family, it's not as scary because we're lebanese so we look just like them but you know we had all we've already gone through all these horrors as children i've already seen big old lebanese armpits um being licked okay so the other the other what kind of family did i grow up in who's looking armpits on my family that was a weird thing to say sorry so the the big drama the big drama in this episode is that there was going to be a dodgeball game. And so the bunch of them went to World of Leggings. And Asa and MJ had some disagreement on which tacky leggings that they were going to use, quote unquote, for their uniform.

But, you know, they're just going to wear them all around town now. Well, MJ will. She's a fan of leggings i almost crashed my scooter one time when i saw her in these zigzag neon zigzag leggings yeah i saw her once i once saw her in uh leopard print leggings i think it was leopard maybe it was like tiger print either way she was coming down the staircase out of her building and i was like oh so funny she's like a hamster. Except when she eats sliders, she stores them all in her legs.

For the future. I do love watching. I've seen her a couple times on the street. And the time I saw her in those zigzag leggings, I almost fell over. Not because she looked bad in them or anything. Just because it was so funny. She's in high heels, neon leggings. I almost fell over not because she looked bad in them or anything, just because it was so funny. She's in like high heels, neon leggings, like a really tight crop top,

a weave down to her ass. I mean, it was like all done up. She looked like she was going to be going to the Cable Ace Awards. Gold jewelry. It was hilarious. It was hilarious. It was like she was dressing up and she had her little dogs or a little dog or whatever. Well, we got to see him. We practically got to see all of her butt because the cameras took a shot of her like changing leggings at that store.

I was like, whoa. You know, there were a lot of straight guys that were very turned on at that moment. Oh, God. Lord help us. That is a booty. That is a booty. Yep. Those TMZ pictures, there's a couple every summer of MJ in her bikini, you know, laying

on her side. It's like those photographers just wait for her to turn onto her side. And they're like, get it! Get it! Get it now! I know. Jesus, guys. Oh, God.

It's going to be on Planet Earth the next season. Planet MJ. Hosted by Neil. Oh, man. planet earth the next season planet planet mj hosted by neil oh man so then but then they went and they um played dodgeball and then everything worked out um mj and gg cruising for guys that was disturbing but i love that went to they went to fatties or republic kitchen i love that uh i love that mj is now that girl it's like she's had a boyfriend for one second, so now everybody's problem is that they're alone. You just need someone to love you.

That's all you need, Gigi. A boyfriend. Someone to truly love you. Listen, you're at least fun and awesome to that. Not so much, Gigi. Yeah, and first of all, Gigi has no problem finding guys. Okay, so it's not even MJ.

MJ doesn't have to bother with that. Gigi may be acting like, I don't know what to do. I'm on Tinder. But Gigi is hot, and she always gets hot guys. They may be dysfunctional, but who the fuck cares? Now, my question is this. Last season, MJ and Gigi hated each other so much. I mean, they hated each other. They tried to resolve their issues like four times they wound up screaming every time

i think they kind of buried the hatchet a little bit in turkey but what's weird is that this season they're such bosom buddies you would never even think that they had a whole season of acrimony is that strange to you or like am i the only one that thinks it's like a little weird yeah it is i'd almost forgotten how much they had hated each other and i was like wait a second now they're palling around looking for guys yeah well that's how they work on this show they they vict you know they jump on one person and then once that person's done then they're okay and mj and gg are probably bonded because they've both been that person season one was gg season two was mj season three is mike where they just jump on one person to uh kill basically and now they've both been through it so maybe they're bonded i don't know and also

the whole thing with asa and uh mj fighting is pretty funny when mj is apologizing she's like listen i'm really sorry how i acted i know sometimes i get mean and i don't want that with you i felt I was thinking about how I was going to tell you off and all the things you did wrong and then I thought no this is my friend and what did I you know what did I do wrong or whatever and then Asa's like okay you know thank you but you know

you're becoming your mother listen anybody who wants to be your friend does not say that to you I know there have been three people who have said that to me. You will not find them on my phone. Yeah, that was, you know, sometimes it's like people sometimes

when they receive an apology, sometimes you should just like receive it and then like enjoy that moment and whatever issues you have, bring it up down the line. But like if someone apologizes to you and then you use that as a chance to air your grievances, it kind of ruins the apology. Yeah.

Meaning they ruined the moment of like trying to mend. It's like just, you know, just just take the apology and then just let let it blossom. Let the friendship blossom. Exactly. I just wish MJ would say at least have a job like that's really all I would ever say to anybody like Asa. Like, go have fun with the car that whoever is paying for, because I know your ass isn't. Get the fuck out of my face, woman. Go pray to a trash can like Kim Richards. Get the hell out of here.

Oh, speaking of Kim Richards, since we're nearing the end, just a couple updates. Kim was not arrested at her house, as I stated earlier. She was actually arrested at the polo lounge. I thought she left and then the police came to her house but nope she was at the polo lounge and hid in the bathroom and they had to like knock and knock and that's what I basically drag her out kicking and screaming I know but I was talking too loudly over you so I didn't hear it sorry that's that's a that's a MJ apology sorry really sorry I'm sometimes you're turning into your mother. Ah, click, erase, delete. And the second thing is,

Kel's just posted on our Facebook something kind of uncool to end on, but Lisa Rinna's tweet for the day is, just laugh. Just laugh all day long. Lips. You know, lip emoji. I don't know that that's... Back away. Just back away and be quiet

i can laugh all day long because well we can it's different because last night i watched southern charm and that made me laugh oh oh yeah we still haven't talked about southern charm i'm so sorry don't you dare try to like move this into a wrap-up territory i was like we'll catch up with the white people next week next week we'll spend more time on the crackers. Okay. Actually, Southern Charm is a perfect show to have on right now, because really, with all these crazy things, it's just nice to be with a whole bunch of rich white people just enjoying themselves. First of all, the episode, the crux of the episode, First of all, the episode, the crux of the episode, the big event was that there was a fashion show. And I mean, this fashion show was so it was so rinky dink.

God, the Nutcracker comes to South Charles. What was that? And why is everything red? And that wasn't like one of those fashion shows where people are wearing trash bags down the runway and everyone's like, oh, my God, that's so couture. That's so that's so new. But then the line actually comes out and it's very, simple and sophisticated you know what i mean this was the actual line yeah this way and it was like in a living room and i loved patricia well i mean everyone loves patricia but patricia was like last time i went to a fashion show it was paris fashion week and i was watching oscar de laenta. With Catherine Deneuve. With Catherine Deneuve in the front.

And I went to her. Now I'm in a bed and breakfast. Also, my favorite scene was the very first one. It's Patricia because they know that we didn't get enough of Patricia last week. And it's Patricia sitting there in her boa doing a scrapbook. And she's like, I'm making

a scrapbook because one day i hope that i'll get grandchildren and right now whitney's dating such a what is in that scrapbook what is in it it's like here's whitney you know masturbating behind the catholic school hi auntie thanks for the bath bueller auntie auntie brian gave bueller a bath today oh off limits yeah cannot talk about bueller oh yeah bueller's attacking brian well i love that i love that um uh you know she's sitting there making this scrapbook and she's like well they're all they're in the tabloids all sum along she's talking about it as if she's somehow really is happy with this relationship but you know the moment she's excited that he's in this relationship but you know the moment that woman

yeah the moment that woman like steps foot into Charleston she's like I don't like her I don't like her I do not like her oh yeah the minute that they get engaged or whatever that's when she'll turn the enemy troops against her I find her clothing to be cheap and I find her to be

crass and I don't think she has any place in this house. But that's just my opinion. One does not drink cheap wine in warm weather. It's time for my dressing drink. My dressing drink! At my house, we call that a roadie. You fill up a

plastic cup with vodka and whatever your mixer is, put it in a Starbucks cup, you drink it while you're getting dressed, then you refill it and take it with you on the road. I just like that when she orders her butlers around she never says hey could you get me this or you know i would like this she just says like it's it's always it's time for something like the dressing are you it's time for my dressing drink please it's time for my poopy removal because you you know those guys are like, all right, let me remove your silk robe and sit you down on the toilet and spread your cheeks enough. Get this, you know, wet nap to clean you off later.

I'm like Whitney Houston. It's time for my dingleberry removal. That's black love. So, you know what I have to say, though? You know, Whitney is such a poser and he is so ridiculous. But gosh, I am jealous of him because like when the fact that like he and Patricia are going to this ridiculous fashion show. Then afterwards, they make a reservation somewhere in town. And, you know, all they're going to do is just like talk and gossip.

I'm like, oh, he's so lucky he gets to sit and gossip with patricia after an event yep yeah that would be fun it does remind me of like you know those old stories where there's like the english mother and that she never sees the child but the child's like yes mommy i'll wait outside while you have your dressing drink it was kind of like that but i was like that sounds fun that looks like a fun life i'm not going to complain and yes his eyebrows look crazy but at least he can afford to get the surgery. I'm just walking around like that girl from Blood, Sweat & Heals, that Afghani girl. My forehead wrinkles, no one else around me has those.

Oh, Arzo. Random attack on Arzo. Well, I'm just saying, like, when you're on one of these shows and you can't afford the Botox, that's why poor people shouldn't be on TV. You know, you end up being like Groupon surgery, like Brandy. You know, you have to do it right or you look crazy like that Afghani girl

because, and she just looks like a normal girl our age. But, you know, people on TV don't have those crinkles like that, that furrowed brow. I know. Speaking of our age or so, Shep. Shep's turning 35. I love Shep. I love Shep so much. I like him trying to talk some sense into craig um and he like goes upstairs into craig's bedroom and it's basically

like hoarder paradise it was not really hoarder paradise just like messy but it made me think of hoarders but craig is out of control craig is he's a disaster disaster that he even thinks he's but again, what I love about this show is that he thinks you know that in the back of his mind he thinks he probably could be a model and I just love that all the girls just like laugh and like Landon's like

he's too old yeah, I mean that is too old you don't start a career at 26 that's when you start making your target line of clothes, you know Yeah, I mean, that is too old. You don't start a career at 26. That's when you start making your target line of clothes, you know? Or like your perfume offshoot. Yeah. You don't start your modeling career at 26, especially if you've got sun damage and acne.

Yeah, yeah. That's when you get your perfume made, and then you wait 10 years and try and get on Project Runway. It's like a guest judge or whatever. Yeah, perfume challenge. That's stupid. The other big news is that Catherine and Thomas are heading back into the city.

I will say though, before we go on, about him. It is kind of uncool when you're going out with somebody and then the person you're partying with is like whoa, bro, you're going too with somebody and then the person you're partying with is like whoa bro you're going too far and shep almost literally said i can do it because i'm rich but you have a job and you can't do that and then he's telling thomas and they're both like well yeah he needs to pull it together i'm like says the guy married to a 20-year-old who's wasted on a couch. Like, both of you stop.

I know. And yet, it's like, it can go both ways. Like, in what world do you guys have the, like, the ability to tell Craig this?

And then on the other hand, you could look at it as like, wow, it's really bad. If these guys are saying it to you, then you have a problem. Yeah. But Shep did say that.

And that's, again, that's sort of why I like Shep. You know, he doesn again that's sort of why I like Shep you know he doesn't really he doesn't like hide the fact that he is massively rich you know he's just like listen I'm wealthy and it it's like it's given him so much confidence in life that it's actually made him oddly humble in a way you know like he has no insecurities whatsoever so we can just say things and it did were you the one last week or anti-gatsby a little bit no oh i'm too stupid for that i think it was angie it's probably angie but how craig kind of is like nick or whatever trying to fit in and

and um and yeah with him it's not alcoholism. It's more like insecurity and also – And with the rich kids, with the old money. And Shep is sort of like – Shep is kind of like saying, listen, if you want to hang with us, you've got to be like respectable. You've got to be able to handle yourself. Yeah, he's basically saying actually like we – I don't think they care about the money as much as Craig would think. He's basically saying, look, you don't really have the money to be acting the way we – to hang with us the way you're trying to hang with us. So get your money in order. Champagne tastes on a beer budget.

Yeah. Because that's another thing. He's probably always going out drinking on everybody else's dime too. Because when he's with Shep, you know he never pays for anything. You know he's not paying for that full bottle of champagne that he was drinking with. He's like, I don't have any money in my, he's like, sorry, I don't have any cash in my wallet, whatever, you know? Yeah. When you're opening the show in your kitchen, pouring alcohol into your morning cup of coffee on camera, you know, I think he's trying to be cool.

It's like he's kind of got this desperation where he wants to be seen as cool, but it's not really. of got this desperation where he wants to be seen as cool but it's not really it's just seen as like oh you're you know that's an awkward place 26 because you're supposed to be all grown up you still feel like you're 18 and you haven't really started age physically yet and you know i don't know it feels like there's still time left because the next thing is 30 and that's still four years away and as long as i do it by i'm 30 and then you hit 35 and you're a blogger and then you hit 40 and you're like i mean trust me it just gets worse buddy study for that bar you know what he is he wants to be a socialite but he doesn't have the funds to be just a pure socialite he's got to work for it and it's it sucks listen i wish i could be a socialite me too i can't yeah i know i've been out with a couple

of friends with money recently and they're like just the way i feel afterwards like pretty woman you know i feel like they've just bought me you know a chanel suit or whatever because people with money it's like let's just go spend 500 on on dinner and drinks. And then, yeah, it was a fun night. Like, who does that? I'm carrying vodka in my pocket. You know, if I were Craig and Shep told me, hey, you should do X, Y, and Z, I would follow it because, A, first of all, I would be so flattered. I'd be so flattered that, like, because I would basically be trying to,

like, I'd be idolizing Craig, right? I'm not Craig, I'm Shep. Because Shep is so cool and he's smart and he's like wealthy and he's like the leader, right? He's the leader of the pack. And the leader of the pack is like imparting words of wisdom. It's like, oh my god, like he cares about me. That's how I would feel. And then I would also be like, shit, I need to get to work because he's he not only does

yes he does care about me but he's also sort of giving me a warning like you're gonna be kicked out of the group if you don't get into shape and so craig craig better learn you have to learn you know i had this happen in my real life uh just like two weeks ago one of my friends i really like hanging out with the guy he's a straight guy which i don't have straight friends anymore for some reason i think because they all got married i used to have He's a straight guy, which I don't have straight friends anymore for some reason. I think because they all got married. I used to have a lot of straight guy friends, and now I don't, and I kind of miss that, you know? And so I finally found this straight guy to hang out with, and we were having so much fun.

But he just went overboard, and it became like a month of him just going down the drain. And, you know, it's like it was the same thing as a show. Like, you've lost your job. You've lost your girlfriend. It was the same line that she'd said in the preview of the show. And I was having the discussion. He's like, you're a hypocrite. You know, you've been by my side half the time.

I'm like, yeah, but I get up. I jog. I, you know, do my work. I'm not behind in my work. I'm making a living. It's not the same. Like, you can be that way until your life starts crumbling. And that, you know,

I've always said, don't have fun with your life. Do some drugs if you want to. Have some alcohol if you want to. But if you have too much, you're never going to be able to do them again. That's like the biggest warning to me.

Because once you go to AA or something like that, people are up your ass the rest of your life about it. So never let it get to that point where you can't go have a drink anymore. I mean, come on, pull it together. And that's what I was telling him.

I hope he can pull it together because it's ugly to watch. Yeah, probably not, though. You know, with the statistics the way they are, probably not. But I believe in him. I think he can do it. Good. I want you to realize that real life not, you know, being wasted is fun because real life can be painful. But real life can also be really wonderful.

And you miss out on a lot of shit if you're just drunk all the time. I mean, make it 20% of the time. By the way, don't you find it odd? Not odd, but like, have you noticed how the show is quietly trying to insinuate that like Craig and Catherine have like simmering secret feelings for each other. Didn't they have sex? Didn't she hook up with him? The whole thing last season was that like

the only person she didn't have sex with was Craig. He was the one he had a crush on Catherine and then she slept with Shep and then she slept with like Thomas. She even slept with Whitney

but she didn't sleep with Craig and he got all mad and he's like she's a whore. But now they're sort of trying to insinuate that they there's some attraction well they're definitely the ones who want a martini the most it's like yeah she's downtown now she's gonna start going out and drinking and he's the only one who's gonna drink with her so that makes sense and they are the youngest it must be weird like when you're that age hanging out with ravenel i mean what's that? How is that supposed to ever work anyway? I also have to say,

I love Thomas Ravenel, Sandy Duncan campaign manager. Oh, I love her too. She's the only one with any sort of sense. And I feel like she also seems like a character out of a movie, you know, she's telling Catherine,

well, how can I make you feel better? What can I do for you? And she's like, I just want to be behind the band. I just want to, and then she walks away and he's like, what was about it's like oh you know the typical wife thing wants to be part of things wants to have an opinion just let me deal with her yeah she's actually

like very cutthroat you can tell and she's what thomas needs and i love that she basically told whitney off like like you know like your ad is awful and it looks like in the previews for next week um when whitney was talking like defending his stupid ad. He's like, people like T-Rab. She's like, well, there are a lot of people in the state that don't want to vote for T-Rab, but Thomas Ravenel. I'm like, yes, Sandy Duncan, you tell him. Yeah. But also, you know, Thomas Ravenel was the one put in prison.

So I don't know about that. Also, when he was saying when he, you know, he got kind of nasty. Like, Whitney got kind of nasty. He's like, who would want to vote for Thomas Ravenel? His family's connected. He has slavery in his past, or he has a racist past. You know, that's kind of a dick move. I mean, it's true, and they've already talked about it on the reunion. But you having him dancing with 20-year-olds in, like, skin-tight clothes from the 80s doesn't make him less of a slave owner in the past.

So I don't know. I don't know what you think you're doing. It's not going to make people forget that his family owned slaves. You dumb shit. It's kind of a dick move. I think he's getting mad at Thomas in this. Yeah, I think so. I think that that is a dick move. It's also classic Whitney because I'm sure there's probably some slaves and down the line. And I'm sure everybody on this show who's from there has something like that in their past.

I mean, I'm from El Paso. I've got a lot of tacos in my past. And you know what? I still enjoy tacos. And I don't deny it. Well, I did think it was funny. Well, not funny, but I kept on having this feeling, maybe just some general white guilt,

when the show, they're talking about this fashion show and this guy, this Truman Capote guy, was like, well, I want to celebrate the old glamour, the old glory of Charleston. This used to be the most glamorous thing. Remember this port was full of ships, people from all around the world, and they're showing all these old drawings.

I'm like, yeah, and there were a lot of slaves there too. Yeah, maybe. We're going to celebrate that too? Let's celebrate the future. How about that? Let's celebrate the future where there's maybe a couple of black people on this show. Like some diversity or whatever. Well, there were actually black people this week.

I know. I noticed that they got some black models. There were like two models who were black. And there were also like two or three black women who were attending the fashion show. So bravo for Charles. Yeah, you did it, guys. You're not racist after all. You did it, guys. You're not racist after all.

But I love also that Cooper did that thing that gay guys do when they talk to straight guys. They're like, hey, good to see you, brother. Hey, man, good to see you. It's like, oh, stop it, Cooper. You're in a pink suit. Like, just stop. Yeah, I know. Hey, dude. It's like guys when they see black guys and like, what's up, my brother?

Like, no, don't do that, please. Like, you never talk like that. Please stop it. You're embarrassing yourself and them. Just stop it. To be fair, Whitney does that also. He's also like, hey, dude. Hey, bro. Oh, yeah.

Well, he's also trying to be 15. Yeah. But I love this show. It's fun to watch. But man, this Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is going to now be on our radar for another month. Because this shit just kicked the internet in the nuts like I haven't seen for a while. So, you know, God bless you, Kim. I hope you get it together over there, girl.

Well, we have secret footage next week. But there's no guarantee that we're going to cover that because usually those episodes. We usually don't. But I will because I want to see Lisa Rinna on the bench going, Someone, sooner or later, someone's going to put you in your place, missy. Or whatever she says while Kim's storming off to a wall. Like, why

are you walking towards a wall? Because there's no door there, Kim. But I can't wait to see that. But, you know, get it together. If you guys want to find our social media, please come to WatchWhatCrapHands.com for our links. Please go to Patreon.com slash WatchWhatCrapHands to find our social media please come to watchwhatcrappens.com for our links please go to patreon.com slash watchwhatcrappens to find

ringtones bonus episodes our google hangout which will be next Thursday night that should be fun to talk to you guys a lot's happened this month and also please do yourselves a favor and come to our Facebook page and talk to everybody else there right now there, there are 100, like there's over 100 comments, I think, on today's thread.

It's a really, really funny community. And thank you for everybody who's a part of that community, because I check it three times a day and laugh my ass off. And just remember, until next time, guys, if you are sober 80% of your life, you still get a B. That's right. So thanks, everybody, for listening. We'll see you next time. Bye.

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