Watch What Crappens - #178: Taxicab Confessions

Episode Date: April 21, 2015

More highjinks on "Watch What Crappens." Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker (@banterblender) have much to say about Real Housewives of Atlanta's season finale. Then it's on to "Blood, Sweat, and Heels" to discuss Taxigate 2015. Finally, we wrap things up with yet another trip Down Undah to laugh about the "Real Housewives of Melbourne." Come listen! You can donate to us at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crap is. Crap is.

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From TrashTalkTV.com. Thank you. That is where I'm from. Hi, everybody. He was born there. Yes. He was born on his website. I was born on El Paso Talk dot com. El Paso Talk TV. El Paso Talk. I believe last week it was a bonus

episode or somewhere where we went on a big tangent about old El Paso foods. Did we not? Oh, tacos. Tacos. Well, you know, that bonus episode, if you're joining us for the first time, if perhaps you came here because you heard about us on the For Crying Out Loud podcast, or maybe you heard about us on some blogs, by the way, we have to give a shout out to it's thelittlethingsblog.blogspot.com, where the lovely Taylor has said that she likes us so thanks taylor and also um home sweet sarah uh her she is home sweet sarah dot com she also said that she is a big fan so she said we are her favorite very favorite podcast so thank you guys hey thanks you guys and ben good job on those Google Alerts. Yeah, well, I actually didn't do a Google Alert.

I was bored and I was Googling us. And I was like, oh, after some digging, I found some people who were writing about us. So, we are thankful to all our listeners. But I want to give a special shout out for those people who are spreading the word on the internet about us. We're very appreciative of that. Sorry, I've been drinking the coffee

and eating my think thin bars. Got me all screwed up. Think thin, darling. Got me all screwed up in the mouth now. Anyway, you can follow us

on social media by just going to watchacrappens.com. All our links are there. Instagram, Twitter. You'll enjoy it. I promise. But most of all, our Facebook page, facebook.com forward slash watch where crap ends.

So much fun stuff happening there. Go there. Have fun. We have 3,500 likes. It's amazing. I can't believe how fast it's growing. Weren't we just saying we just got to 3,000? Yeah.

So thank you all so much for liking us. Yeah, get over there and start yapping, y'all. We have inferiority issues, so when you like us, it makes us feel slightly less inferior. Yeah. Someone likes me. And of course, it wouldn't be a podcast if we didn't plug our Patreon page, patreon.com forward slash watch where crap ends, where you can support us and, you know, you get access to bonus episodes. Like we just recorded one just now where we talked about Kim Richards. We talked about Kim Richards going on Dr. Phil and all the latest Kim Richards gossip.

Plus we talked about Whitney's From Southern Charms documentary that he did in 2012. Really fun stuff. We also get ringtones. And then this Thursday we have a hangout where you can come on to Google. And if you're a supporter, you can chat with us online, live. Is that everything? Yeah, I think so. I think we got it all in there, Bean.

Wow, that was a lot today. I'm actually Googling someone on our Facebook page. We have a thread saying, what do you guys want to talk about today? And someone said, hey, is there a review of Nini in Cinderella? Which actually would be brilliant, but I cannot find a review of Nini in Cinderella? Which actually would be brilliant, but I cannot find a review.

There's someone on TripAdvisor named Greg, who likes her. Just kidding. His name isn't Greg. He's like, her picture's gonna be on the wall at Zaddy's. Nini Leakes is like, I'm very rich, bitch. I get good reviews on TripAdvisor.

Like, number 78. Go see good reviews on TripAdvisor. Like number 78. You're going to see NeNe Leakes and Cinderella. She's such a star. She's such a star. She didn't generate any press at all. She generated press, just not reviews. There were reviews like, NeNe Leakes is on Broadway. NeNe Leakes is on Broadway.

But there is something that says, NeNe Leakes Broadway ticket sales bomb. reviews yeah there were views like nini leaks is on broadway nini leaks is on broadway but there is something that says nini leaks broadway ticket sales bomb three hundred thousand dollar loss but that's from phenom life that's from claudia jordan.com yeah that's like on page four of the search so girl i don't know yeah i mean i don't even know how many people were interested to see cinderella in the first place to be honest why did they just make it again into a movie who needs oh is that sleeping beauty or cinderella it was cinderella right cinderella was made into a movie but that's different come on that was a big success that was a big success but broadway cinderella broadway cinderella i don't know i don't don't know. I feel like if someone told me

NeNe Leakes was going to be on Broadway, I don't think I'd be jumping to spend $150 on that. Like if someone said, guess what? Ellen Green is going to be in Cinderella. I'd be like, yes, because she can sing. I'm not the most greatest. But I'm maybe a semi-favest. So I got a black eye and my arms in a kiss. love it okay i wish i knew the lyrics play that she'd be like can i go to the bar mr mushnick well you know ellen green is is reviving audrey for a little shop of horrors this summer for like a limited engagement jake

gyllenhaal is going to be playing seymour and she's going to be audrey and it's going to be like three performances at lincoln center and i am not true it's true and i am jill and hall is going to be seymour it's yeah it's an odd pairing seymour and ellen green with ellen green but i'll take it i'll take it i'll take it because gosh i wish i could see that to see ellen green singing those songs to see her singing suddenly seymour or like uh downtown was it downtown or is it called skid row whatever it is i mean yes Doctor! Yes, Doctor! Sadilissimo! And this kind of has to do with Bravo shows,

because my Ellen Green is exactly my Orange County Gretchen impression. So there you go. Why isn't Ellen Green on one of the Real Housewives? That's the real question. Put her on Real Housewives of whatever. Put her on Real Housewives of 57th Street. I don't care. Wherever she's living, make a franchise and have her the star of it.

Oh, Ellen Green. Love her. Alright, so should we, since we're talking about amazing and odd casting choices, should we talk about Real Housewives of Atlanta first? I mean, why not? We can talk, I mean, we're talking about Broadway. We might as well talk about NeNe's Broadway debut at Cinderella.

Yes. Oh, NeNeini so nini shows up on broadway and she's all excited and guess who's there to see her squealing gay people just like you think they're like girl that's fierce like you know you're just standing outside that stage door that's a poor gay right there and he didn't he had his face fuzzed out so he couldn't even be on he wouldn't even be on camera he's just like girl we love you give everything to us yeah please stop it she doesn't need a bigger head going into this show right no no no no she she's like oh thank you thank you as if she's you know she just won an Oscar. I mean, listen, I'm not going to take away that moment from her, actually. Believe it or not, as much as I hate Nene, it's really cool that she got to go on to Broadway.

It's really cool that she stepped backstage and there were fans. You know, I mean, say what you will about her. It is a cool moment for her. But she's still awful. I guess I did take it away from her. She's still awful. I guess I did take it away from her. Yeah, she's still awful. Sorry. And then she's like, well, you know, I did invite the girls, but I never heard from them.

Which is the most, I hate that. You're supposed to send an email and say, okay, do you guys want to come? Exactly. This day, you'll stay here. Blah, blah, blah. That's a passive-aggressive. Blah, blah, blah. That's what you call a passive-aggressive invitation.

Like, you're all welcome to come, and then you don don't follow up and then you blame them for them not following up no yeah when the last time you saw them you ran to your car yeah exactly and and the time before that you ran to your car yeah and that was away from fucking that shrink i would have me nini i want to talk about this we should discuss this I wish he showed up in the production like he was Prince Charming or something and forces her into

therapy on stage he'd be like Nini, he'd be like wicked stepmother, I don't know if that's an appropriate way to behave what Cinderella is trying to say is that she would really enjoy getting out of the house and meeting other people. It's not about the ball. It's about spiritual

fulfillment. Cinderella, do you have something you'd like to say to your stepmother? Well, I just feel like, you know, like, I was trying to go to the ball in, like, something nice in a chariot, and then, like, you turned into a pumpkin, and I just felt like that was kind of disrespectful. Cinderella was mean to me the whole show would be about nini crying that cinderella was mean to her yeah the way it would be like that remake of sleeping beauty with

angelina jolie where it turns out angelina jolie is really the hero yeah exactly nini would just be nini would just accuse everyone of ganging up on her and they'd be like um actually no I think that was actually everyone's ganging up on the wicked stepmother and I don't know why you're playing the victim right now

be quiet Cinderella asked to go to the ball the ball that was my night that was my night trying to take my night away from me

nobody asked me to go to the ball but that's okay that's okay it's her ass I'll give her a chariot you better pick some rice out the dirt

bloop I'm very enchanted bitch That's okay. That's okay. It's all right. I'll give her a chariot. You better pick some rice out the dirt. Bloop. I'm very enchanted, bitch. Andy at the reunion would be like, Cinderella. Hi, Cinderella. Hi, wicked stepsister. Hi, other wicked stepsister. Hi, little birds. And hi, mouse.

Hi, pumpkin. Now, where did you get that glass slipper? Hi little birds Hi mouse Hi pumpkin Now where did you get that glass slipper? You got a boob job They look great, I love them Did anyone else here get anything done? Wicked stepsister Your toes look like they've been cut off What happened there?

Hey, let's play a game, bring out the spinning cardboard wheel Okay, whose penis is bigger? The Prince Charming or the other Prince Charming? Is Prince Charming, is he from Africa? Is he an African Prince Charming? Oh. That girl was just trying to kiss that man because he was standing in front of my light. The wicked stepmother takes out like a dossier.

She's like, I have proof that Cinderella has been lying to all of us. I've got some texters right here. I have proof that Cinderella saw Apollo in Los Angeles. You don't even know me, Cinderella.

We've never met. You're my wicked stepmother. We've never met. You're my wicked stepmother. Okay, whatever. I've never met. You're my wicked stepmother. We've never met. You're my wicked stepmother. Okay, whatever. I've never met you. Maybe Cinderella should take an AIDS test. Then we get to the bottom. Maybe Prince Charming too, okay?

Yeah. So good for her? I mean, you know who it's not good for? All the people who struggle living in New York City, being singers every day, trying to make it onto Broadway. I'm sure they're not happy with it. But hey, you know what? You earned that. You've earned that by yelling at people, being a horrible person on TV.

Listen, we all get to Broadway in different ways. Yeah, exactly. And some of us never do because other people get there by yelling at people on TV. Yeah. And some of us just sit in our house. Yeah. So Nini's story for this season finale was super boring. Basically, she's like, ooh, I'm nervous, I'm nervous, I'm nervous, and then she was in her dressing room, and she gets a text from her realtor, of course,

and she gets flowers from her realtor, and she's like, ooh, these are nice. I'm going to put them in the dressing room. And then she goes in the dressing room, and then there's actually like a giant poster of Nini that's blurred out in the dressing room, which is really ridiculous. And then the director comes in and is like, so, Nini,

in the future, it's not, it's just this is all-consuming, not all-too-consuming. Okay, thanks. And then it was like the end oh yeah otherwise please don't slap cinderella again because that's not in the script yeah all right yeah um one thing i wrote down was when she walked onto that stage they show her walking onto the empty stage and she's like so far i've just rehearsed in a marriott hotel room with greg but now here i am on this stage and i just thought Ethel Merman just farted on a chorus boy in heaven because of this

no Ethel Merman with her nasty ass is up there just like fuck you yeah see me now oh god Ethel Merman and sweet charity I know I'm sorry this is an old man

this is old man talking Ethel Merman is sweet charity. I mean, that's crazy. Do you want to have fun? Fun, fun. How's about a few laughs, big spender? What did she say? She sang something on it.

What was the song that she sang in the airplane? Do you remember? I don't remember. No, I don't remember. I remember her from her artistic roles as Gypsy. Yes. I mean, as Mama Rose in Gypsy't remember. I remember her from her artistic roles as Gypsy. Yes. I mean, as Mama Rose in Gypsy.

Yeah. Or all that other stuff. Nini Merman. I'm a very rich bitch. Bitch. Bloop. Close your legs to married men. Thanks, Sean. Wow, we have a lot of musical theater going on today.

We were talking about Liza Minnelli in the bonus episode, too. I'm in a loopy mood. My caffeine is finally kicking in. Here, let me have the last of my two-pump mocha. Listen, I am going through my Tiago iced brew, and it's very strong. And basically, if you could see me now, you'd see me flicking a top hat, an imaginary top hat on and off of my head. Like Mr. Peanut. I hope that tea has some healing qualities for boon victims there, Ben.

I hope you help the boon victims by buying that tea, Ben. Some charity. Get it? So anyway, Nini was on Broadway, and she moved into a $2 million mansion, which will probably be repossessed in two years. I love that Nini's farewell written monologue on the end of the screen was written like 20 minutes before the show ended. I know. They're like, Nini Leakes is still on Broadway. Greg still is holding her purse. Her son has not learned how to rob a Walmart yet.

So we're still having hope for him. Yay, Nini. Yes. her son has not learned how to rob a walmart yet so we're still having hope for him yay nini yes um so uh so then we have uh cynthia and peter and peter they're like they're taking like they're sort of like closing down bar one the first bar one they cut the scene where they're like they're sitting in front of bar one with a hammer trying to get all the wood off the door that's blocking them from entering for not paying their rent yeah exactly and they're like so many memories here it's like a montage of like some of the worst scenes in housewife history but basically it's just like a montage of cynthia walking in and everyone be like hey everyone's like i love your

wig i love your clothes i love your this he's like we have so much memories here babe yeah and they're like we're excited to get started with bar one the other bar one which my mind should be called bar two but whatever so um and so then they're like they they're they're taking down these paintings and all this stuff and then peter's like oh babe i want to show you something else and he's like it's like ta-da it's another empty storefront that he's rented out without asking her. It's going to be a coffee shop. It's going to be called Peter's Brew. I'm like, there may be some brand issues there.

I'm just imagining him being like, you know, it's going to be like a place where you can get coffee. And, you know, maybe I should just call it Peter's Coffee, you know? Like, I think people will understand that, right? Peter's Brew. Peter's how did how did she not uh peter books how did she not uh have a shit fit when he said he bought that i mean he basically rented a place with uh her money since that's all they have yeah she rented a place with he rented a place with her money and didn't tell her again and she's like babe we should probably talk about this how about babe you're kicked out of the fucking house i already got you a new bar after the last one was foreclosed on yeah and how about you don't open up a coffee shop that sounds exactly like pete's coffee and you know what's going to be is going to be him in the back behind a table like mixing

up taser's Choice for people. It's like our options are Taster's Choice and Folgers. And on a special day, they have like Maxwell House. No, they're going to be like full on canteen. Those canteen things from Starbucks that people at the office get. Yeah, it's going to be like McDowell's, like McDowell's versus McDonald's. It'll be one of those little Keurig machines that you put the pot in. That's almost giving him too much credit because that actually tastes good.

We can call it Peter's Pod. On Thursdays, we serve Sanka. Everybody's serving coffee, babe. It's guaranteed. This is our chance to change the coffee world, babe. Yeah, guaranteed. Look, it's going to be a huge success. It's under change of coffee world, babe. Yeah, guaranteed. Look, it's going to be a huge success. It's under an overpass.

Who doesn't want to have coffee with your wife's fucking gigantic face? Because you know it'll be there right behind the prices. Yeah, it'll be all like the leftover crap from bar one that they couldn't fit in the new place. The 50 cent refill will be listed right next to her right eye. The Cynthia Bailey is basically a coffee with baileys in it it's an irish coffee uh so peter's coffee shop um and i just put yeah okay so next we have candy and todd well no wait no there was more with peter oh there was well yeah because then they went to the they were walking around and then then Apollo called them. Oh, my God.

Of course, I don't write down anything good. I'm just like, how are those predators letting them in? The end. So they're, like, walking around, and Apollo calls from jail. He's like, hey, I still haven't seen my kids. Yeah, you know why? Because you're in fucking jail, Apollo, because you committed felonies, okay? And your kids don't need to be coming to Kentucky to see you, or you're fucking crazy.

Stop whining. Why are you the victim? You're the one who took yourself away from your children by doing that's no one else's fault and frankly phadra shouldn't have to go to jail to visit them it's better for them not to be like oh my dad's in jail this is totally normal you don't want your baby normalized going to jail what the fuck and ken and i'm sorry phadra actually made a really good point which was she's like listen i don't know like am i going are they going to be resentful that I took them to jail or are they going to be resentful that I don't take them to jail? It's like, I can't win either way, which is, she's actually right. Phaedra's list of excuses was very funny. She's like, look, I can't go to jail because there's not a nursery in jail. There's not, you know, I can't go.

If he has to pee, we have to leave. I mean, you can't go to jail because in jail, I mean, who's going to hand me a suitcase full of cash? Nobody. Nobody's going to do that for me in jail. She's just kind of going off, but she doesn't need excuses. The excuse is, he's the one who fucked up, went to jail. I don't want my kids around that shit. Bye.

And I'm divorcing you. So bye. You'll see them some other day. She's like, they only have six chairs in the waiting area and what if ada needs to sit down and they're only there's no chairs left well then what am i supposed we have to leave i mean i think i mean i tend to think that the jail has accommodations for little kids i'm sorry i do think that but i mean i think it's within her right not to go and like you said and it's also it said, it's a long ways away.

And I have to say, I also thought the scene with Phaedra making messed up cookies with her kids was an adorable scene. And I think that Aiden is so cute and such a sharp little kid. I feel bad, actually, that this will probably catch up to him at some point. Well, yeah, all our parents' bullshit does eventually, doesn't it? I actually think that Phaedra's a pretty good mom to those kids. She seems like she is. Yeah, you can definitely tell that they have her influence, because he's like, I can't leave until my hair is perfect.

Yeah. I need my hairdo to be perfect. But I liked when the cookies came out totally janky. It was just one big cookie blob. And then Aiden was like, well, it's a very good experiment. I was like, aw. So cute. He was adorable. But meanwhile, while this is intercut with Apollo talking to Peter and Cynthia.

So Cynthia's more or less staying out of it. She's just cooing some nice supportive things, supportive things. Like, stay strong, Apollo. Stay strong. And then Peter's like, so did you hear that Phaedra filed for divorce? I'm like, you idiot. It's really not. Like, why? That's not your place to say that.

Well, the men are all standing behind Apollo. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. Because he's on Apollo's side. Yeah. Well, what's Apollo going to do? He's going to come after her with a fucking drill? No, but meaning that it embroils the true them in this mess.

Well, yeah, but that's how all of this has been. It's been other people getting them involved in shit. Yeah. And it's Apollo getting himself involved in shit to be on TV. I mean, is it an accident that Apollo happened to call the day cameras were rolling? Exactly. With Peter? Yeah.

No way. No. No way. No way. No way. He's like, maybe you could talk to her. No, they're not going to go talk to her for you. Cynthia is sure as hell not Peter, Mike. Hey, why don't you let him see his kids?

That's not nice. No free refills for you. I know it's a long drive, but i can give you a big gulp of peter's coffee peter's brew i just bought the jail with uh cynthia's money so now it's called peter's prison and you're allowed to bring your kids hey come have some nest cafe um so meanwhile uh candy see now candy let's think about to la with riley todd seems so fucking awful she's sitting there trying to talk to him and he's rolling his eyes on his twitter or whatever just staring at his cell phone i hate that he makes me crazy so they ended up going over to Mama Joyce's house

that is wrong Candy so they go to Mama Joyce's and there's a big old feast man I miss those family feasts where there's so much food that they have to put it in those silver tins by the way if anyone in the LA area wants to

make a meal like that and then invite me and Ronnie over, we'll come. Totally. Make a whole bunch of mac and cheese and stuff like that. And by the way, there was a mac and cheese recipe in the New York Times today that looked divine. New Yorkers don't know how to make mac and cheese, Ben. I know. Ronnie makes killer mac and cheese, but I'm tempted to try this one. Go for it. Yeah.

Share it. Yeah. Make it. Share it. Someone make a soul food meal for us and we'll come in Los Angeles. So they are going to dinner over at Mama Joyce's and all the family is there. And Candy announces that she's going to be going to L.A. with Todd. To see who he's fucking over there, probably.

I hope so. Yeah, probably. And Riley's like, you're going to leave your daughter? That's not very nice. Why are you going to leave me here all alone? Are you going to come with us, Riley? No, I'm not. Oh, well.

Riley. Mama Joyce finally gave us what we're waiting for. Mama Joyce, first of all, looked like she had an entire fist up her butt that entire time. Her eyes were raised like she was dismayed. But she was also sad, but also pondering. I really want to know what's going on in her head. And I have a feeling it's something like this. what's going on in her head.

And I have a feeling it's something like this. What? Oh, oh. Mm. Ah. I'll bet those are the sounds in her head. Because that's what her face looks like. But Mama Joyce gave an apology, which went a little something like this.

Todd, now I know I said something. If I offended you, I am sorry that I said those things. I did not say those things on my own. Those are things that I heard from people on the street. I would never say that because I'm not that person. I'm better than

that. And Todd just stared at her like, really, bitch? He's like, that wasn't really a very sincere apology. Yeah yeah then he made people on the street jokes yeah which he's totally right of course it's not a sincere apology but this is not one of your friends idiot just say thank you hugger that's all i wanted from you hugger and it's fixed yeah why does it need to be more drama for the rest of your life i think it's because he'll still have an excuse to do whatever the hell he's doing exactly well like the mom by the way uh i am looking forward to the

spinoff the candy ski trip it's like really a silly idea for a spinoff but basically it looks like candy and todd and the whole family like bertha and noreen or whatever her name is. And Mama Joyce, like the whole family is going to Colorado to go skiing. Is that just a one episode thing? They said it was a limited series. It's probably going to be like Candy's Wedding, which was probably like four or five episodes. I don't know. I liked Candy's Wedding. I thought that was a good spinoff.

And this is one of those cases where I'm pro it. And you know what else I like about it? It's not a damn wedding show. It's a bunch of people going skiing. So they're going to fall over. They're going to fall over and fight, which I'm down with. Yeah, that's true. I just wish that their new thing would be divorce shows.

Because all these couples that get married, it's really fun to actually watch them get divorced too. They do have divorce shows. It's called the regular seasons of Real Housewives. That's true. That's true. Every season, someone's visiting that same lawyer, that same bald-headed, bearded lawyer in Atlanta. Yeah, but I need a full episode of Apollo chasing Phaedra around their big house with drills and other things that wouldn't really hurt her. Other things that couldn't be used as a weapon.

He's like, I got some scotch tape. You better watch out, Phaedra. I'm coming now. I got an Afghan holder. You watch out. I took the Afghan off the couch. You better watch out. I'm going to cut you up on that couch real good.

I got one of those little cup measures that comes with the rice cooker. You watch out now. I'll tell you what. You're about to get this teaspoon in an eye. I got a little plastic clip that closes up a potato chip bag. You watch out. I'm going to close you up with it. Apollo came after me with a chip clip.

I had to change the locks. I got a scrunchie. You watch out. I also replaced the chips. I got cheese oodles instead. That should keep me safe. Oh, Lord. Okay, so the Todd thing.

I mean, the thing with the spinoff for me, the biggest problem with the ski spinoff is that Todd's going to be in it. I can't watch Todd anymore with his tall hair trying to be a big man. Stop it. off for me the the biggest problem with the ski spin-off is that todd's gonna be in it yeah i can't watch todd anymore with his tall hair trying to be a big man stop it i don't mind relations on getting somewhere in the world now please be quiet again i don't mind his tall hair what i do mind is his like overly uh manicured beard it's like it's very disar it's like very disturbing to me the tall hair i can deal with i just don't like that he's mean to my Candy. I know.

He's probably getting mad at her about which trail he can go down on the mountain. See, I wanted to go down a diamond, but Candy, she won't let me. And I don't know. I don't know where this marriage is going now. Listen, Candy, your mother was really mean to me on the bunny hop. Hey, I fell off the little... I forget what it's called. What are those things called?

The pull? The rope pull? Whatever. Your mother called me the son of a whore on the tram. The sky tram. The ski lift. The ski lift. Oh, good Lord.

Can you tell I was a poor child? We never skied. We played tennis with our hands. You know you want to see Aunt Bertha in a gondola. That would be amazing. No fighting over here, guys. The gondola's swinging back and forth. It's Mama Joyce.

Put Mama Joyce, Carmen, a shoe, and Aunt Bertha in the gondola and see that thing rock back and forth. It'll be like the salt and pepper shakers at a carnival. Oh. Oh. Mama Joyce wouldn't let me put extra marshmallows in my hot cocoa. So the other thing that happened

is that the girls went to see Kenya's... Live twirl zone. ...sho shockingly not picked up pilot. Yes. I am typing in life twirls on at the moment, so you just go ahead and talk for me. Life twirls on

and so do we. Just how we do it is no mystery. That's a little empty nest reference for everyone. I know you were waiting for it. Oh, empty empty nest the show that I just watched because it was on after Golden Girls and nothing else was and Diana Manoff was on and Joe Isuzu don't you wish

Dreyfus was in Life Twirls On that would have been great Dreyfus I am seeing when this is premiering oh she said she's going to premiere it on March 16th exclusive probably exclusive to YouTube. Yeah, her sitcom. Wow.

Well, so what happened was this. She invited all the girls over to a mansion for this viewing party. And it was this bonkers sort of situation. It was like a fake wedding. There was cocktails and a harpist and people singing and doing sort of like interpretive dance. But the thing is only like six people people showed up because it was the women. It was just the women. And then Kenya showed up in a wedding gown.

And it was all very strange. But I think because Kenya didn't seem to be taking it too seriously, it didn't bother me as much as other events. Yeah, it was kind of a weird finale because usually there's some kind of a big party at the end yeah um this wasn't this was just like the ladies kind of getting along in house which was kind of weird and making fun of kenya which was amazing yeah i liked when phadra was like i'm all for a dramatic entrance but one that makes sense i'm like you are one to. I seem to remember the baby showers from three seasons ago, or Aiden's first birthday with tent cakes.

Or the marching band in your last one. Like, what was that entrance? She's like, this is about men leaving. I need a marching band of men that will march on and then leave. Like, no. Is that how we're tying it together? Because that don't make much sense. But I love an entrance that makes no sense.

Which is why I love Phaedra as well. A marching band. Welcome to my very serious event. So they watched Kenya's pilot and they laughed. I don't get the sense that the show is particularly good or funny. But I think they were laughing because they were seeing like their friends. It's like when you watch like home videos of your friends and you crack up and they show it to a stranger and they have no idea why you're laughing so

hard. Oh, or like any of my YouTube videos. So, uh, yeah. So Kenya, the funniest line in it,

it's Kenya saying, uh, I'm a 30 year old virgin looking for love. And then they all start cracking up and she's like okay a 35 year old virgin looking for love and candy's like you're gonna stop again yeah 45 year old non-virgin yeah um but i think the thing that struck me was you know they were all getting along they're all having a great time at this thing. And they were, it was like, oh my gosh, finally the women are like happy again.

And it's like next week at the reunion and they are just viciously fighting. And it's like that's the thing about these shows sometimes that gets me. Is because every now and then one of these seasons on any of these shows, the women have like a therapy session. Like especially in New Jersey. They get to a good place and then cut to the reunion as Andy Cohen smiles like the Pied Piper and watches these people tear each other down again.

Yeah, well they all watch the show now. Really, every time Bueller, every time we record, you're gonna bark at somebody every damn time. Seriously? Seriously? Saying sorry every time doesn't work. Seriously? Seriously, Bueller? Seriously? seriously seriously seriously seriously

oh mailman so yeah so basically they were just happy and then next week we see them ripping each other to shreds but then we also see them hugging Nini after she storms off stage and it's like a group hug and they're like but we love you

and Nini's saying after all this you know whatever we go through it's like a group hug and they're like, but we love you. Oh God. And Nini's saying, after all this, you know, whatever we go through, it's a sisterhood. We're all still sisters. Yeah. Whatever. I hope Nini leaves. We can't have her anymore. Well, reportedly she was paid record amounts

to return, so I don't think she'll be leaving. I still hope she does. Okay, so let's leave her. Since she can't leave us, let's leave Mimi behind. And move on to, which one do you want to do next? Blood Sweat or Real Housewives of Melbourne? Why don't we do Blood Sweat?

Why not? We never promote it out of the third place on our podcast, so why don't we give it second place for once? All right, then Blood Sweat, let's do this blood sweat in heels um i'm enjoying i have to say by the way i'm enjoying the season so far i am uh invested um i also am enjoying the new ladies what do you think uh the new ladies are bringing the drams. That's for sure. In this episode, they show that they will fight dirty. They will. They will. Well, I guess.

So, well, first, I guess. Let's see. What are the main things? Well, my main thing. My main starting point. I have to start at the beginning because that's where this all starts. Back in the beginning. Let's fix chapter one.

Can we be done back to the beginning? Sorry. Which is Daisy in her gigantic sponge wig. I like her sponge wig. That is not going to sponge up the cancer. Take off that wig. I like it. I like it. It's sort of like Whitney Houston 1986.

No, I don't like that. You shouldn't be putting your body under that much stress when you're sick. I like it. It looks heavy. I like it. And by the way, there's something else I don't like that. You shouldn't be putting your body under that much stress when you're six. I like it. It looks heavy. I like it. And by the way, there's something else I would like to say. Demetria's hair. So, okay. Talking about black women's hair is like a danger zone. Because you don't want to... It's like, if you talk about it,

you're just like, you're not allowed to. That's just something we completely don't understand. I know. But that being said, I love Demetria's hair. And is that racist for me to say it? I don't think it's racist. I think it's praise. I think her hair is – But you love somebody's hair?

Well, because people – Why would that be racist? Well, it's like that whole thing like when white people touch black people's hair. It's like the most like – it's like you don't do that. It's like patronizing or whatever. Well, you didn't touch it. I know, but I don't want to be construed like that. The point is this.

Oh, Lord. This whole – we're about to enter racist territory for the entire and not us being racist but the whole topic of this show and the next one is racism so this actually this episode nothing like really severe happens but you know as as we talk about it there's gonna be something where we'll probably say some stupid shit without even realizing it so don't be such a pussy it's an episode about racism excuse me we were talking were talking about – wait a second. We were talking before we even started the podcast. We were like, oh, yeah, we should probably warn people we're going to say some stupid shit by accident.

So now I'm saying – you're like, Ben, don't be a pussy. Well, I would have said it before, but the mic wasn't on, so it wouldn't have counted. No, I mean I don't think we're going to say anything too stupid. But that being said, I love Demetra's hair. It's just – it's got just great volume, and I love it. Now her personality, I don't know. Watching her and her boyfriend have lunch together, talking about the wedding was kind of painful,

because they both talk like this. Well, Demetria's always over everything. You know, she's such a smart, intelligent woman, and it's like you don't even care, because she just sits there like, well, whatever. I don't even want a wedding. I just want to go into a room and exchange vows. That's all. you don't even care because she just sits there like, well, whatever. I don't even want a wedding. I just want to like, I just want to go into a room and exchange vows. That's all.

I don't want. It's like, shut up. What are we going to do for the wedding? I don't care. What do you want to do? Well, you said you wanted a church wedding. Yeah, but then we could just go to IHOP. Oh, that's just as romantic as when you proposed.

Yeah. When you got off the couch and then there was a ring and I had a scarf on my head. Yeah. I love you. I love you too. Oh my God. They're too boring to even wait on. I wouldn't even give them time if I was waiting on them.

I'd be like, what do you want? And then leave immediately. I wouldn't be like, how's your day? Yeah. I really don't want to hear it in that monotone tone. I'm trying to keep my energy up, Demetria. Demetria, cheer up. I want to hear it in that monotone tone. I'm trying to keep my energy up, Demetria. Demetria, cheer up. I want to love you.

I want to praise you, but you're just so over it. You're so Brooklyn. I just can't embrace you. Oh, Eeyore. She really is. And then it was weird. So she and Daisy had this little coffee,

and it was sort of strange because all season long there's been like like iciness between them. And now all of a sudden they're having a coffee. It doesn't make sense. I like when Daisy's like, you know, we're getting along right now, but I don't want to tell her about the big C because I don't want her being friends with me just because of cancer. I want her to be friends with me because of me, because people are always chasing down cancer patients to be friends with. The only person who's like actively seeking cancer friends to use is kim richards everybody else and amber from new jersey no i think that what she what she meant was that i know what she meant you know oh okay am i being a bitch ben sorry ben no rondell no i love you, Ben. No, Ronnie. You're Ronnie.

I love you, Ben. I'm sorry, Tony. I'm sorry, Tony. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be like that. Well, that's actually what I like about Daisy. Because if it were Amber from New Jersey, the first thing she would say is, well, you know, I have cancer. But Daisy's like, I don't want to bring it up because I want her to see this is like not coming from a place of like like garnering

sympathy it's coming from a place of me genuinely trying to just to reboot the friendship so also when you're trying to hill you you don't need somebody showing up with a 12 pack of donuts you know that bitch doesn't buy flowers yeah that's right you're like we finally got a crispy cream on third street yeah and i'm like daisy don't again i was like daisy don't go to fashion week rest up you've got cancer girl i'm not saying he doesn't want to tell people because every if you have cancer and you tell people people are going to be like really should you be putting that dollar in the stripper's g-string you have can't i can still move my hands my penis still works for christ's sake i don't have penile cancer. I know.

Off my ass. Daisy. So then... Are you seriously doing that? You know M&Ms have been causing cancer, right? Are you sure you're going to eat that M&M? I wouldn't tell people either. So then, um, Chantal... Except you know the cameras when I was alone. I would tell America,

but not you. Then we had Chantal, whose brother was visiting, and she's like, but not you. Then we had Chantal, whose brother was visiting. And she's like, oh, you know, he's here from Britain. And he likes to live it up because when he's in Britain, he works in a yogurt factory. Or as you people in America say, yogurt. I was like, okay. Totally different.

It's totally different there. Yeah. I like how she was talking to her friends because she's like, you know, I just couldn't do that. I couldn't live where we grew up because, you know, everyone lives there just living life. I couldn't do that. And then they cut to the people just living life, looking at her like, really, bitch? Yeah.

She's like, I just wanted something more. I guess that's all. And they're like, thanks. Congratulations. Thanks for shaming my yogurt factory job. Sis. From Wondery, this is Black History for Real.

I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, black history month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about,

especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen everywhere on February 5th. Or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student

who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own,

she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.

Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And then we had like a little scene of Arzo with her boyfriend yesterday. There's sort of like a cute random coupling. But yeah, I have to say, and we're going to get into Arzo later.

I kind of like Arzo. She's crazy, you know, but I like her. Yeah, I have to say, and we're going to get into Arzo later, I kind of like Arzo. She's crazy, you know? But I like her. Yeah, I'm liking her so far. She seems like kind of a raging bitch. Like, she's one of those people who doesn't understand what a bitch she is until she's on TV and people tell her. Yeah, exactly. So before we get to, like, the real, like, crux of the episode, why don't we talk about Micah Popp runway real quickly?

Oh, my God. Just the runways in general. We got to see a scene of Daisy who's like, I'm so busy. I'm going to do this runway show. And you see her backstage at the runway show

going to all her important people who are all Bravo people. Every single one of them. She's like, I'm here with Kenya Moore and Cynthia Bailey. Oof, what a get, girl. You're the next Barbra Streisand.

I mean, the next Barbra Walters. The next Barbra Streisand. She's that, too. She can have it all. That's how Barbra Streisand started. She got funny girl by being nice to somebody from, like, Top Chef first season. Yeah, exactly. In the 60s.

It was like Cuban Missile Crisis Chef. Don't tell me that. I'm not your bitch, bitch. And then Michael Costello, who's oddly skinny. And then Geneva's big interview at Fashion Week. She's like, I'm so into fashion. I'm like, you are wearing a plaid skirt with a neon leopard top from TJ Maxx and a beret. Come on now.

Just because everything doesn't match does not mean you know fashion, okay? Yeah. You look like the floor of a Ross Dress for Less. People just throw shit on the ground and walk all over it. Oh, gosh. And then her deep question. She's like, so what was it like dressing Michelle Obama? Why are you asking him that?

He's answered that a million times. I mean, even what's your favorite ice cream would be better than that. What's your favorite ice cream? She was like, I can tell you mine. She's like everything at Baskin Robbins. She's like everything but the. Everything but vanilla. So then anyway, so Micah decides that she is going to throw like this pop-up runway at the Empire Hotel.

And so she goes through this whole like audition process, which was like maybe a shade more impressive than anything that's ever happened at the Bailey agency you know it's in that same range and then like the day of like four models cancel and Micah starts to cry she's like I worked so hard for this it's about this is my brand da da da da da da da I'm like if you're so concerned about your brand don't have this stupid

event in the first place I like when she said these models are so unprofessional you think you're naomi campbell you want my naomi naomi can be late you can't be late yeah i did i love i'm just gonna start telling people that you're not naomi i did like that so then uh basically the event happens and the big the big pop-up runway was like a bunch of girls in bikinis holding up glow sticks so it kind of just looked like everyone was ordering bottle service

all at once. There's nothing fashionable about it. No, it's like bad bathing suits in a bar. No one knows it's coming. So the music is still playing and everybody's talking. Mike is being funny on the microphone, but you can't hear her, so all anybody can hear is...

What the hell? And then these models come out with glow sticks. They just hold them up and walk around. Yeah, it made no sense. And I don't even think that that crowd was even the sort of crowd that would want or need to like hire a pop-up runway for an event you know she's like yeah but you got to be known i mean look if you're worrying about your models not showing up why didn't you call the waiter models from the other agency that your friend owns yeah sure you could use some bus boys they're all hot size 28 waist. But flawless. It's a flawless agency. I built it when I was 21.

So the biggest thing that happened in this episode, I was a little disappointed, I have to say, because Geneva was arrested and went to jail, which we didn't get to see. We never get to see the good shit. Oh, wait, pause. Melissa Ford went on a date with a really attractive guy, but they had no chemistry.

Oh, yeah, that was funny. And someone said uh someone said yeah you know it's hard for melissa because she's like the most gorgeous woman in the world so she's just trying to find some no one no you know what you could find so many people who don't know who melissa ford is okay you're not julia roberts yeah exactly talk about not naomi campbell too i mean it's just you know like get over yourself melissa ford You were in some videos, you know, 12 years ago. People would probably want to date you more if you stopped introducing yourself as Melissa Ford, the video model who was only treated like a piece of ass a whole lot. Yeah, and how about be more, like, engaging and entertaining on a date rather than just ordering red wine and being like snarky and sighing a lot and if you're gonna go on a date and try and be uglier so someone will fall in love with you how about you do it with less makeup and not your eyebrows frown upside down please stop it that still bugs me i wish these shows were filmed or done live so we could like tweet them

please with the eyebrows yeah frowny brows i don't need to see your negative eyebrows on tv i'm trying to watch these shows to be positive frowny brows so yeah she had the date with that guy who it got really awkward but i think part of the reason it got awkward is because her big date question was if you met the right woman right now what would be your reaction she has no game yeah he just ate yeah i mean it seemed like at first seemed like the day was going really well. He seemed, like, very suave and, like, measured. And I was like, ooh. And then all of a sudden, she started sighing. And he's like, I know.

You saw it again. I was like, what? What happened? Huh? Huh? Be like, if I met the perfect woman right now, I would probably iron my hair again just to make sure it's completely flat. I mean, Jesus, iron hair.

Yeah. I mean, her big, like... How do you iron hair that short? I don't know. But I like that. Her big, like, opening question was like, so, you look like you're not a stranger to the gym. I'm like, what sort of statement is that?

Like, how do you open up like that? That's such an awkward thing to say. And what's he supposed to say? And he's like... Why is he so defensive? Like, guys have to apologize. It's like reverse sh is he so defensive like guys have to apologize it's like reverse shaming again like you go to the gym it's almost like reverse shaming because his he must deal with that a lot because his response was so weird he's like well you know my sister had

a baby so i'm the godfather actually i think that makes you the uncle which is kind of higher in the in the food chain but yeah he's like well you know my sister had a baby and I just want to be healthy for those kids so I can live longer. You did not get that huge because your sister had a baby. OK, that's what started in your 20s because you were like fat and couldn't get pussy. Yeah, exactly. Blaming your sister's Victor. Yeah. Come on.

You don't have to apologize for being hot. You earn that shit. Just be like, yeah, that's right. That's why I'm on a date with a video model now what artist did you work for again yeah what yeah i have to look up what video she's been in whenever i think of melissa ford i just there's a song by the game where he like name checks or he like makes fun of like video girls whatever um so anyway so uh geneva so midway through the episode, the music gets all sad, and Chantal comes over to Geneva's apartment.

Geneva's in a bathrobe and crying, and Chantal's like, What's wrong? What's wrong? What happened? I had to leave my brother, who was at the yogurt factory for this. My brother won't stop going into different yogurt factories. He keeps touring yogurt

factories, and I have to tell him to stop. And I can't even tell him to stop right now because I'm here to find out what happened with you. He went to a hot yoga and now he's going to open a hot yoga studio in London. And he's going to call it Very Sizzling Yoga Time Factory. He's obsessed with Yoplait. I can't get him out of there. Yoplait, yogurt, yoga. I'm sorry to interrupt this stupid segment again.

But one thing I wrote down is my favorite thing that Melissa is doing lately. If you can't cerebrally stimulate me, then I have no... First of all, stop with the cerebrally. All right. Congratulations on your word of day calendar. But you need to get past January 1st at some point. Flip the page. Cerebrally is over, okay?

It's yesterday, as that new girl's boyfriend would say. Yeah, with an I. Yesterday with an I. If someone asked his name. Oh, God, it's yesterday with an I. Yes-ter-day. Yes-y-e-s-t-i-r-d-a-y. Could you imagine that in a waiting room?

No. Yesterdy? No, it's yesterday. Oh, it's spelled wrong. Do you want to redo this? The doctor needs exact names. No, it's yesterday. All I know is that he's just very passe.

Ha ha ha, get it? Yesterday's news. You're so yesterday. Anyway, so... You're so yasterday. Anyway, so Geneva. You're so yasterdy. Say yes to sturdy men. I don't know what that means. Okay, so Geneva was in jail.

Okay, now this story of Geneva. This is the story. Thank God for this Afghani girl on the show yeah i know what i was thinking because i was like really seriously something like look if you're saying there are real real wait let's tell the story let's let's tell the story first you tell it i'll be quiet okay so according to geneva through tears she tells us the story that she gets in a cab she's gonna go to the the nail salon just for like a 10 minute thing and when she's in a cab she's gonna go to the nail salon just for like a 10 minute thing and when she's in the cab

she notices the driver's going the long way so she just asks him like why are you going this way and he starts yelling at me really yelling and no you already have to stop because this is this is more because she was the way she was saying it she was making herself the victim but also you could see that she

was being a total bitch because that's not really abnormal for the taxi driver to take his own way unless you specify he's gonna go wherever he wants to go yeah so she's like why are you taking me this way and he said you didn't tell me which way you want to go and she said yes sir i actually yes sir i did tell you blah blah blah so she's already fighting with him about the way so okay so then she says that he stops in traffic and makes her get out but then she finds a traffic cop and the traffic cop is like no it's illegal to do that you have to keep on going to her destination so then he drives the destination she's scared blah blah blah and because the meter was still running the meter was still running incident take where she got out of the cab and then the police stopped how long did that take that the meter's still

running that it's so expensive that you're not going to pay for that right i mean one by the way and by the way it couldn't have been that expensive because the final meter was like 15 dollars so it was probably like a minute so anyway so they get out of so she says when she got out when she got out in traffic that's where the construction guy thought she was so hot that they made a jacket for her out of a construction cone. It's like, really? Are you really wearing a bright orange plastic jacket right now while you're talking about traffic? I was wondering where you're going with that. It's either irony or thematic.

I don't know what you're doing there, but I don't like it. So anyway, so according to her, they get to the destination, and she says – she gets out of the cab, and she says, I'm going to pay you, but first I'm going to go inside. And so she goes inside, and she calls calls the police and then when she comes outside she says he called the police too and when the police show up she's like oh good you're here i'm geneva he's like oh you and then she gets arrested because she didn't pay her cab fare so then she says this is an example of um taxi drivers um taxi drivers are such assholes, but they're also like, they're so mean and racist to black people. That's basically the gist of her thing.

Well, and the cops. And the cops too. If you're in front of a cop, it doesn't matter if you're Trayvon with a hoodie or what, blah, blah, blah. You're all the same to the cops. She's like, I pay my bills. I don't commit crimes.

I don't litter. But you didn't pay your bill. I don't commit crimes. I don't litter. You didn't pay your bill. You didn't pay your taxi, bitch. So here's the thing. I mean, she's not wrong. I mean, the taxi drivers are racist. Taxi drivers in New York are dicks. They're dicks.

They're racist. And I mean, you just have to turn on the news to know about the police. So I don't disagree with her there. But, you know, we just have to turn on the news to know about the police, you know? So I don't disagree with her there. But, you know, we know Geneva. But putting yourself in a Trayvon place is a little awkward. That's a little awkward. But also, we also know Geneva. And we know that when she tells her version of stories, she can sometimes downplay situations.

I mean, you know, when she talked about Micah getting wasted at the Hamptons, she's like, she was, I was scared. I was scared. She was, you know, she's like, she was dang, I was scared. I was scared. She was, you know, it's like, you got, she was trying to beat down the door.

She has a tendency to embellish and not to take away. I'm sure it was scary for her for sure. I'm sure it was scary. I'm sure it was like awful for her. And I'm sure, you know what, you know, it would be less scary not fighting with cab drivers.

Yeah. How about you fork over just the $15? Be like, this guy's an asshole. He's racist. Take your $15 and I'm out of here. And if he's going to the wrong bridge, then that's

such a fast thing to say. Just say, oh no, you're heading towards the wrong bridge. Would you take the Brooklyn Bridge? That's it. Why are you fighting with him and then leaving without paying? Look, if I could start a fight everywhere, I'd walk into the fucking liquor time store and start yelling at the guy for

giving me a dirty look and walk out with some m&ms and a diet coke you don't do that fighting with somebody does not give you a free cab ride exactly and first of all she should have taken uber anyway so um so then uh so chantal can't you know comes over and like it's like oh no how awful you must have been so scared oh i'm so sorry it's not right oh no so then cut to micah's pop runway fashion show and the girls arrive etc and um i think it was chantal who was like did you hear that that Geneva was arrested? And Arzo's like, ha! She's like, that's hilarious. And she's like, I don't think it's funny at all. I don't think it's very funny at all.

And then Arzo says. And Melissa's like, I've been arrested five times. Yeah. And then Arzo was like, oh, please. This wasn't about race. She didn't pay her taxi. She didn't pay her taxi. She didn't pay her taxi bill and she probably got became an angry meatball over it. I just like cracked up.

I kind of I kind of believe everything. Is it weird that I believe both sides of the story all at once? Well, Geneva's right that there is racism. There is systematic racism to deny it is silly. Right. So if you get if the cops come up to you and you're a black person most likely they're not going to treat you the same no and a cab driver too so i believe she's lucky she's not obviously i mean i've seen that in action many times and heard of it from my friend

so it's not like that doesn't exist but first of all if he was racist he wouldn't have picked you up in the first damn place because we all know the racist taxi drivers will not stop for a black person because they're dicks. And second, you got in a fight with the taxi driver, got out of the cab, then got back in and then stormed off without paying, period. And what was she like? She's going to call the cops. And what was what was her end game? I'd like to report an asshole. was what was her end game i'd like to report an asshole you know it's like overcharging me two dollars that it was for me to like stand outside in a construction zone like how much you know you

do you just you pay it and you don't tip that's how that works in life you know what it is in life i mean i i get it i i do understand as we've said a few times now, there is like systematic racism with taxi drivers, police officers, for sure. But sometimes in life in the world, I mean, I know that people get upset when we say that with cops, like if your husband's a cop or whatever. We're not saying your husband. We're just saying, like, in general, reading the news, it's obviously still an issue. Yeah. But either way, either way, I mean, maybe I'm being naive saying this, but given that there are these crazy racists out there and given that there are, there's like undue hostility,

especially if you are a minority, if you, if I found myself in a situation where I had a crazy cabbie who was yelling at me or whatever, it's like you just sort of take the easiest way out to defuse the situation. Give that money and get the hell out of there. You know? I know that might be naive, you know, because I haven't been in that situation as a black person. Well, don't escalate. You're just saying it's stupid to escalate.

Yeah, exactly. No matter your color, it's stupid to escalate the situation. She should have gotten his badge number. She should have gotten all this information. She pays, calls up his boss, then call the cops. Whatever it is, get the information. Get yourself out of the danger. But, like, it sounds like she handled it incorrectly.

But then, yeah, and if you're so afraid of the cops, then why are you calling them over a taxi cab fight? Because that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Why should the cops waste their damn time coming to some nail salon in Brooklyn to worry about your cab driver if you're so afraid of the police give me a break lady i don't buy it and my main problem and the reason it makes me mad is because there's such legitimate issues that need to be talked about in our society and dealt with in a reasonable manner and to make this like a cause for racism and to compare yourself to Trayvon is just fucking

it's uh it's not just bullshit it's like disrespectful to the people who are actually dealing with this on a daily basis. Well it cheapens the movement because then it makes white people like you know sort of like the like annoying awful white people

say things like well you know black people will cry racism, like the, like annoying, awful white people say things like, well, you know, black people will cry racism over anything, you know, like, well, when it's like, well, everything, like, cause you know, white people are always looking for an excuse to say shit like that. So like, you know, it's, it does, it does cheapen it. It's, it's, you know, I, I believe that she felt she was the victim of racism and she probably was, but I also think this was. Whatever.

Rosa Parks at least paid for her bus seat. Jesus Christ. She didn't leave the bus. And call the police demanding a refund. Listen in life you got to pick and choose your battles. And she should have gotten the guys information. And then she should have. You know.

If she could have done something. I don't know. But this is becoming a huge thing. And it's going to be on the show because then we get uh the what's what are the new girls orzo it's a pasta right arzo arzo and yesterday how can i forget them arzo well so arzo basically is like this is ridiculous and like she's like pasta is afghani we totally invented well you know what's funny is that my sister's name is pray have you met my uncle orachete i have a dog named penny

so then what's really funny is that like after, after the runway show, they're just, like, sitting around chatting. And, like, Chantal is still really pissed. So Arzo then becomes, like, this condescending bitch. And she's like, oh, are you still upset? Are you still upset about it? And Arzo's like, yes, I'm actually more upset with you. And she's like, oh. Then she starts to pet her.

And she's like, you just need to calm down. You just need to calm down a little bit. Oh, my God. Oh, no. You are such a condescending bitch right now. But it's hilarious. Yeah, she's going to get punched in the face, and I love it. You know she will.

And then they start fighting. You know, here's the thing. Chantal is the other girl? Yeah, I think it's Chantal. So that girl, model girl, you know, she's okay so far. Like, she's maybe too aggressive and she seems snotty and her accent sounds fake. But I think it's because she's like, didn't she say Jamaican and English? Anyway, there's a lot of weird stuff.

And she has an agency for, like, skinny waiters, which I don't approve of. But, you know, I still kind of like her. Yeah, I don't think she's awful. In this one, I don't like her now. She is awful. In this one, I don't like her now. She is awful because the first thing she said when it got nasty or when it became a fight was, you need to get some Botox immediately. You look like an Afghani hound. I know.

No, no, no. She said Afghan hound. Afghan hound. Well, I will say this. I was like, oh, my God, that is so obnoxious and so awful. And then I looked up an Afghan hound and I was like, she actually does look like an Afghan hound. That's what Daisy was like. She does look like an Afghanghan hound we're all animals i'm a cub that was hilarious i actually looked it up and i was like oh i was like actually that's like a really good call but it's also like it's some rubber face tranny looking bitch to say or drag

queen looking bitch i guess i should say because transgenderism has come a long way, I must say, with my neighborhood. I mean, there are some beautiful girls in my neighborhood. But anyway, some drag queen, like, telling you you need Botox, like, that's her big thing? Because you look like a, ah, Lego face bitch. Who says that? I don't like her. I hope the other girl punches her. Well, even if she does look like an Afghan hound, you don't say that to him because she is actually Afghani.

So it's like you could mean it one way, but it's going to be construed in another way. And then the way that Chantal defends herself is if someone called me a British bulldog, I wouldn't be offended. And, you know, why would you be upset to be called by the country that you're from? That's kind of like saying, you stupid black girl, like, and being like, oh, well, why why is she upset i'm just calling her the color of the skin i mean that's just what she is it's like no it doesn't work like that had an interesting point when she said um where she comes from racism isn't like it is here it's everyone's one race or whatever and i think that that's interesting because there definitely does seem to be a humongous gap in emotions between the two countries but honey your country didn't have slaves so that's another i'm sure they

have other issues with different races do you treat the white people like you have the working people who hate you you know yeah or who uh she acts like it's a freaking utopia over she acts like it's a utopia over in england when england has such a crazy class system i mean like sure there may not be racism but like you know there's a difference between like there's no like you know once you're there's like there's like the high class the like the titled class and then everyone else even if it is quote-unquote obsolete yeah so how about they're all anti-semitic anyway you don't have racism there but we you don but you also don't have as good of dentists there. Yeah.

You see, it all balances out in the end. Yeah, so... Win some, lose some. America, one point. Yeah, exactly. So Arzo has been called an Afghan hound, and she's under... And so now it's going to get ugly and turn into this big racist racism discussion which should be interesting to watch yeah um the biggest disappointment to me in this episode was

that it was not her going to jail because she cracked a bottle over melissa's head right and that's what's gonna happen later on the season i imagine because and this is from the girl i never litter i don't break the law and cut to her smacking a bottle over melissa ford's head and melissa's like oh my god why can't i meet a guy who can crack a bottle over my head if i were if i weren't in videos you never would have done that like i'm sick if i met a guy who could have stayed as hard as that bottle i'd be somewhere um um this bottle is shaped like me there's there's something else i was gonna say about this whole ridiculous situation but i can't remember it oh let me see something about like racism and chantal and the whole looking through my well you know what it was oh i liked the in the little like the little pod buster scene when Demetria and her fiancé

were talking about the Geneva situation. What's his name? Greg? And he was like, he's like, I've never heard of being arrested for refusal to give goods or something like that. He's like, there's larceny

and there's larceny too. But it's like, this charge doesn't exist. Yeah. And she's like, who are you hanging out with yeah like my friends have been arrested for larceny blackmail armed robbery murder attempted murder kidnap she's like wow this is why you never invite your friends over babe yeah all right so now it's time to move on to the real housewives of Melbourne. I'm ready to go to Melbourne. Are you?

Let's do it, Bean. I'm here. Oh, my God. Now, this is a funny episode. This show just delivers on so many levels. The fight level, the silly level, the just laughing. I mean, the biggest news in this episode is Jackie found a new word. Couture. Couture. That's so couture. That's c new word couture couture that's so couture that's couture that's couture hey my britain what a filter that's so couture and stupid lydia she's like this street is like the it's like the uh shopping center wait

what did she say it's like the shop the shopping center it's that oh i'm sorry she's like this street is like the shopping capital of paris actually the shopping capital of the world is paris yeah i know lydia said so many stupid things this episode like when they went up to the rooftop to look at the sunset she's like we went up to the 71th floor great no my favorite was when uh lydia's maid gave her like an envelope and was like can't you give this to my family and lydia's like oh what's this is this just a is this a beautiful note is this a beautiful note no you fucking bitch it's a casio keyboard what else do you think it could be and i also like that she said oh well darling if i don't see them i'll post it and i think the

maid is like well i could have done that i want you to give it to them i want you to see them. I'll post it. And I think the maid is like, well, I could have done that. I want you to give it to them. I want you to see them and tell me how they are and how they look. And she's like, all right. They'll be excited when they see a stamp from their own city. I hear they never get to see stamps. I'm so happy to provide that. Is this a beautiful note? Oh, my darling, is this a beautiful note?

You know, the maid was freaked out when she found out Lydia was going there. Because she's like, oh, shit, I've told her this whole story about my poor family coming from the Philippines. You know she's probably from like downtown Sydney or something. Yeah, exactly. That letter probably said, if this crazy woman has handed you this letter, I will pay you money to pretend you're my mother. Yeah, it was all that integral. Smile and nod. Smile and nod.

Meanwhile, it's Phaedra's guide from the donkey the donkey totally probably was her uh so let's start at the beginning because this shopping trip was hilarious not only because you got to hear jackie say that's good show up that's good show up which it's going to be hilarious when she finds out what that actually means. Yeah, shine, shine, shine. Shiny couture. Shine, shine, shine. But also just listening to Lydia talk. You know, in Paris, when they have customers that they really like, sometimes they'll set aside things for them. So this is like me in Paris because, look, they've set things aside for me. Oh, my God.

She's like, I've been coming here since I was 18. And now they just order things for me. They see things that they know I would like, and they order them for me. I would have come here before I was 18, but I couldn't get money for sucking dick back then. You know, I was raised right. So it's really funny. It's really funny. I like dresses.

So when they buy dresses, they really are buying them for me because I like dresses. It's like Paris. Because, you know, we we walked through a door which they also have in paris it's funny because i was thinking you know what i'd like i'd like to see this dress on a mannequin first to get an idea of how it looked and you know what they started doing that they started putting dresses on mannequins i was like they did that for me you know what i like i like carpets and they have a carpeted area just for me so this was also the scene where petty floor oh the petty floor started her gina war her gina war is going to be coming on she's like girls i have something to talk to you i've seen a pattern arrive and jackie's like pattern because she's wearing this jumpsuit

that's the brightest pattern I've ever seen and Petty Floor's like you know this thing with with Gina she tells me things that are racist she made fun of my accent she's racist I'm like oh my god another glass of water to dilute racism come on on! That's not racist. I know. It's linguist, making fun of someone's accent. Yeah. It's just not nice.

It's phonic-ist. I mean, it's rude. It's rude. Yeah, but it's not racist. Because last time they shouted her down when she tried to start something with Gene, everyone was like, oh, shut up, it's not a big deal. So she went home,

and she thought about it, and she was like, okay, now it's racism so now everybody has to fucking listen to me yeah ever oh petty floor she's like i tried to say something at the gallery and then she interrupted me and now i think that she's a racist oh good whatever lady she's ridiculous she's trying too hard she needs to have a problem with everything if you'd shut up for long enough you'll actually have real problems that arise that you don't have to make up.

She's like, you know, I was thinking about it, and while I was waxing my son's bum, I asked him, do you think this is racist? And he said, Mom, please stop waxing my bum. And I think that's his way of saying yes. The other day on the street, somebody told me, I've seen you before. You're

always wearing clothes that are colored. And I thought, that's racist. So, there's suddenly a pattern in front of me. And I'm like, she says, I can never get my point across. And Jackie's like, you better stop speaking loudly. More loudly, girl. I'm like, no, she does not need to be louder. Just leave her alone.

How about just stop talking? She is barking up the wrong tree, the wrong spray tan tree. Petty Floor had the right idea in the beginning of the season, which was trying to kiss up to Gina. And she should just go with it because she is not going to be able to take down Gina. No, no way. No way. She doesn't have the skills. The English skills

or the attitude skills. Well, Pettyflor doesn't realize that she's actually barking up two trees and two trees she cannot bark up because the other tree, inadvertently, hilariously, is Omarosa. Oh, man. That's some good shit. So, now Chica

was really fun in this episode because Chica's coming back with some more confidence this time. She's not. She doesn't need to be the nicest person, which I like. You know, they're at lunch. She's at lunch with. Who was she at lunch with? Oh, Gina. Which, of course, she knows she's starting shit by making this a legal issue with Gina.

And what, Janet, right? Wasn't it Janet? I think it actually may have been Gamble. Oh, Gamble. So I forgot. Gamble went to a dog show. So she's at lunch and she's like, now, Gina, I've got a legal question for you. I've been given the self-help book that Petty Floor's written.

I thought it was quite good. I thought it was quite good. I don't read self-help normally i mean what do i need help with i just have a perfect husband who loves me i've got he's got white pants that are just as tight as the pair that my son wears he loves it when i go test out male strippers uh i don't need self-help but you know i've read it and it's quite good but here's the question i googled it and there's a book in america by someone called the bitch switch do you think that she could get sued for copyright and then gina immediately is like of course that's a court case she could take it down she could be taken down and thrown in jail. Yeah. Especially, honestly, you know, Omarosa, I love Omarosa. I actually love Omarosa,

but she will definitely, she, Omarosa's where she is because of who she is, and she is not going to let anyone infringe on her bitch switch book. So I would not be surprised if Switch the Bitch

actually became a book and was anything remote, anything even close to a threat I guarantee Omarosa would take her down only a show as stupid as this would have somebody who plagiarizes Omarosa of all people

I mean how amazing is that that's not just an American she's a national institution that's Omarosa if you're gonna plagiarize I mean was Shakespeare not in the library that day like you're going to plagiarize, I mean, was Shakespeare not in the library that day? Like, if you're going to plagiarize somebody, do it right. Don't pick Omarosa.

She's like, Pettyfro's like, you know, I was writing a book, and someone told me the name was already shared by someone named Trichelle, and I thought, well, I don't care about that. I'm going to plagiarize it anyway. She's like, my book is, well, I don't care about that. I'm going to plagiarize it anyway. She's like, my book is called Bitch, I'm Madonna.

No, that's a song by someone named Madonna. You can't take that. She's like, my new book is called People Magazine. She's like, I decided to write a new book called Fuck You, I'm Famous. No, that's Bliona from Euros of Hollywood. I've written a new book called Misery. Oh famous no that's bliona from euros of hollywood i've written a new book

called misery oh it's already a book but instead instead of the man being tied to the bed he ties down one of his fans and chops off her leg i've decided to write a book called to kill a blackbird it's a wholly original title Killing a mocking blackbird I've decided To write a book called Anne of Blue Gables It's a wonderful book Wholly original

The Mysteries of Nancy Drew I'm writing a book called The Hardy Men This is so stupid But I can do it all day And I love that our knowledge of books Is so limited that we've switched to pop songs And then back to Nancy Drew I'm writing a book I'm writing a book called Triassic Park

I think it'll be a big hit I could even see it being turned into a movie I was reading a book called Highlights Magazine. I'm writing a... I've decided to launch a magazine called 4321 Contact Magazine. I've started a new book called En Vogue. They're like, no, that's a group and it's all... I'm starting a new pop group called... Called I'm En Vogue. They're like, no, that's a group and it's all... I'm starting a new pop group

called I'm En Vogue. I'm starting a new pop group called Destiny's Children. So stupid. And I love that Gina, instead of getting on the copyright thing, because she did change the words around, which I guess makes it different, but Gina's like,

why is she calling woman bitch? I don't like that word when women call each other bitches it's demeaning and she goes like yeah it's demeaning i don't like that you know women shouldn't call each other bitches but that's what she explains that you know it's not that it's really a bitch you know she explains it in the book and gina's like well i don't like it i don't like that title yeah gina's like she's such a stupid cunt for using that title. Although I get asked. Lydia finally made one good point where she's like, Gina doesn't like that word. I find it ironic because, you know, she has no problem calling people a cunt.

I'm like, hey, you're ironic and you used it properly and you remembered that and made a decent point. Good for you, girl. It is a decent point. it properly and you remembered that and made a decent point. Good for you, girl. It is a decent point, although I actually do think there's a little bit of a difference between when Gina used the C word, A, she was joking, and B, she was sort of

annoyed at someone, so she used it in a sort of aggressive way. Not an aggressive way, but she was using it as an attack, which I get. And she didn't call she didn't say, you're a cunt. She went to the bathroom where she got her mic was off and said, I'm going to tell her why you're being a cunt. Yeah, why you're being.

But the thing is, when you say switch the bitch, where it's actually more offensive is because it's implying that women are inherently bitches. Well, it also grammatically means switch the bitch. And switching is like beating. It's like spanking someone with a stick. I didn't even think about that. Well, I'm from Texas, so you're going to get switched. I think the offensive part is like, yeah, she might say something that she might explain, like taking ownership of the word bitch, et cetera.

But Gina has a point, which is that I think most women, they saw that they actually would be offended like I'm not a bitch like why would you call me that and that's like not part of my personality so women in like the Texas Barnes and Noble are going to be like why is he why is this book about beating women why is it saying beat the bitch Gamble's like I would never I would never beat my female dog

Wolfie Wolfie's going to be Wolfie's going to come to the dog show with me. I will beat him with treats. I will beat bad behavior with treats. We'll beat that bad behavior on Dweevil's pup. Opsies! Opsies!

So, should we, so Gamble went to a dog show and it was a nightmare. It was a disaster. It was hilarious. We just need to get to the good part here. Yeah, yeah, do it, do it, do it. Lunch with Janet. Oh, Janet, janet janet's gonna start tea because her son's a burn victim and she's gonna start a charity tea with the lady who knows the most about tea and all of the funds are gonna go to burn victims i'm like you know that it's possible to like leave tea on the kettle too much right maybe we should find something that doesn't involve fire to sell.

Yeah, how about this? To help burn victims. Yeah, to help burn victims. How about you don't promote a product that could scald you? How about that? Thank you. Thank you for putting that more succinctly. But yeah, she's like, you know those logs that stop fires?

You know, they're covered in kerosene, so they'll stop the whole fire for you. Dura-flames. We're going to sell those, but for burn victims. We're going to sell lighter fluid for burn victims. No, you don't want to sell the fire part. You want to sell the hose. Okay, anything with water in it. Maybe bottled water.

That would be good. Well, I will say this, though. I think this was her son's idea and it's apparently being very therapeutic for him and I do feel bad for him so I can't I can't totally I'm just saying I'm just saying project it is kind of silly your product maybe I could use a little more yeah yeah caution that's like it's like's like, contents may get hot. We're going to open a firework stand

in every city. All the province are going to go to burn victims. Oh, thanks, Janet. Good idea, darling. All right, so, that was kind of funny. Maybe for iced tea.

Maybe use the tea bags for iced tea. Maybe use the tea bags for iced tea. Maybe use one of those iced tea makers. Let's keep it like that. Or maybe tea that doesn't require, yeah, tea that doesn't require any kind of fire to make. Yeah, just cold or room temperature tea. Tea that wouldn't get traumatic for people to make, you know? Yeah. Traumatic for victims, I mean.

All right, so let's move on. And by the way, that's why they went to Manila this week for their trip because they did a group trip to Manila so that way Janet could meet the tea expert in the Philippines. Yes, I'm looking through my notes. I don't know why I took so many notes. I don't feel like that

much happened, so let me see. So then they go to that poker event and Petty Floor kind of insinuates that lydia is probably fucking the guy who's running the charity it's like oh you're very familiar and then they cut to the picture uh they cut to a shot of lydia kind of like leaning over and talking to him deeply and you know maybe you know getting a little too close. So there's some future problems. And then Jack's with her

Atlanta gay that she has who's in one of those dress shirts and leggings or whatever. And he's like, oh girl, you're going to look so good in this. You're going to make your entrance and then you're going to make... No, you're going to arrive and then you're going to arrive. The best thing about this guy

is that he's so fun and positive and adorable. He's really cute. And I really love their version of our Atlantic gaze. He's super cute, needs a pair of heels if he's going to pull it off. But I also love that he does other American things wrong. Like he says, I can't even handle, which is awesome. But instead of just having words now, they're just leaving words off the end of the sentences.

It's like one long Mad Libs. People are like, what are the gays talking about? They keep leaving words out of the sentences. Oh, what are the gays saying? Tagalog. I can't even handle blank. What is blank? That's so stupid. That's so stupid, Ronnie stupid Ronnie Ronnie you're so stupid

I get it Did you just call me stupid We're going to fight about this for an entire season That was racist You're getting awfully familiar with the cricket legend With the plastic surgery I love when they were talking These women kill me

I love when they were standing on These women kill me. I love when they were standing on the roof of this, on the 71st floor. 71th floor. The 71th floor, looking over the town. And she goes like, is that the project stand there? Is that where the project? No, don't be rude. She's like, no, really, literally, I think it is. And I'm like, oh, yeah, you know, we saw those poor kids.

Oh, but those kids look so happy. They're so happy. Yeah, I love but those kids look so happy they're so happy and uh i was a poor kid and i was not happy there was no food you know i saw these kids wiping windows and they look so little that is not happy and they're like oh but they look happy darling well you know it's funny because petty floor was like a voice of reason in that moment because she was like you know you smile through your tears you know and it's funny, because Petty Floor was like a voice of reason in that moment. Because she was like, you know, you smile through your tears. You know, and it was funny that these women were like, they look so, oh, they were so happy they were playing. You know, and Petty Floor was like, well, they really weren't happy. Cut to Petty Floor being like, alright, let's go shopping now.

I love to shop. Very great. Yeah, that was pretty cute. Nice introspection. So then we get to the dinner yes so they go up to this dinner and we're thinking the whole episode because you know anybody who's watched this show has seen the coming next week previews or the coming up the next segment previews which they've been showing this fight and so we know a fight's coming and we just assume that petty floor is going to start it because we know that petty

floor has been talking behind gina's back and calling her a racist and we know that petty floor is waiting for and also she showed up at dinner acting weird everybody's saying she's acting weird someone asked her if she's crying or something so something's off with her anyway so you think it's going to be petty floor but it's not it actually turns into be gina who starts it of course which was hilarious and chica was you know petty floor is like so chica you read my book what did you think tell me everything and chica's like well i have to tell you i don't normally read self-help books because why would i does anybody have an answer for me because i don't need a self-help book do i i don't need one i mean those are for losers and you know the thing is i googled it and someone's already using that title and also i don't like to use i don't like the word

bitch for women i think it's demeaning okay those are two issues and they need to be separated into different arguments okay because poor betty florida't wrap. She's like, do I fight racism or do I fight plagiarism? Which is first? Do them all at once. Yeah. So she starts in with, you know, oh, me and my son came up with this name because we thought it was so funny. And I Googled it and I, oh, well, Gina starts in first.

And she's like, someone's already using that name. You know, you can't use that name. Someone's using it already. Which, by the way, that's not starting a fight. She's stating something that's like a true potential legal hurdle. Yeah, but she was super aggressive. I mean, she was happy to do it. Yeah, she was super aggressive.

She's like, you can't do it. Yeah, but still, you can't do it. Yeah, but still. I mean, even if you did it, then. I mean, but still. Ideal in fact and it's demeaning a woman calling another woman a bitch like that and she's like no it's not demeaning you must read the first chapter she's like well i don't like it i don't like women

being called bitches i don't think that's nice she's like well you know it's explained in the book if you read it and she's like well i still don't like it when i read it no she didn't my point is that i wouldn't read in the first place although i i mean gina was being aggressive but i don't i believe or not i don't think gina was trying to start a fight i think she was just kind of keeping it real as they say i think she was i mean she wasn't being polite starting it on purpose i just think that it it came out of her being just not dropping it it came from her being too aggressive. She was not being genteel. So then, you know, Petty Floor gets all, oh, but

you know, me and my son read it and we thought it was a hilarious title and we looked it up on the internet and I thought it was still funny because her book is about switching the bitch on and off and my book is about switching to different bitches. And Gina's like oh so you knew then all right then you didn't hear about yeah uh which was funny so then what started it

between her oh and then lydia's over at the end of the table going don't tell her what she can and can't write about you know it's couture couture couture couture so then um i think petty floor says well you know gina you don't really like anything. And then Gina was like, excuse me? And she's like, wait a minute. You know me now, do you? You know me? You know what I like and don't like now, do you?

Well, the best part about that was then, I don't know if you heard this because a lot of things were happening, but I rewound it like three times to make sure I got it. Gina actually relied on some like 1992 humor. She goes, oh, you know me well, don't you, not? Ooh, wow, singer. I'm a huge fan of not. Yeah. Huge.

I can't let it go. I was obsessed with it when it came out. I'm still obsessed with it now. My favorite is in Arrested Development when Jalobis Dreyfus plays Maggie Leiser, you know, the blind attorney. And it was something like she was pretending to be pregnant. Remember that episode where she was pretending to be pregnant, or maybe she really was? And at one point, Michael rips away this thing to prove that she's faking it, and she really has a stomach.

And she's like, I guess I'm pregnant. Not. Not. Or something like that. That's what I always hear. Anyway, I guess you had to see it. Y'all go watch that episode. It's funny.

It's on Netflix, I'm sure. It's the episode of Maggie Lizer Season 2. Back to this fight, Ben. I don't even know where we are anymore. You know me well, don't you? Not. You know that Jackie's at the end of the table getting pissed because she gets that Popeye eye. Jackie has this like one eye that twitches when she starts getting mad and like turns Popeye.

And she starts saying couture. She's like, pity floor seems sad. Couture. She must not have enough couture in her life. Her hair's sticking up because of humidity. By the way, which was my favorite part was because their hair was all sticking up like little horns. I kept on laughing. My favorite part was when Lydia was trying on a pearl necklace and she was shocked that she didn't have to wipe it off after.

Back to this fight. Popeye Eye over there at the end of the table. So you can see her already getting pissed off. Well, then Gina just shuts down Petty Floor at one point. Gina's like, she's like, you can keep your opinions to yourself. Thank you very much. Yeah. She's like, I won't be reading that book.

You can take your opinions and shove them up your ass, darling. Thank you very much. You can shove them up where the sun doesn't shine. Thank you very much. I just love when she says thank you very much. As if this is over. Thank you. Goodbye.

How about you not i can't even say it how about you not shove that up your ass not i like when nots double used yeah no gamble's like oh i'm so glad wolfie isn't here not she's saying with her little thumb. With her little thumb puppet. I wish Wolfie never asked me to marry him. Not. Wolf pup. I don't miss wolf pup at all. Not.

One of the running things in this episode was how Gamble is stupid and doesn't know words. She says feminist as venomist. And Janie is making fun of her. It's not English. And she even says in one point, she's like, Well, yeah, I'm stupid and I don't know a lot of words. And so now people are telling me, and it's interesting because it's the first time people have told me

that I don't know the words. One of the best is like, No one has have told me that I don't know the words. No one has ever told you that you don't. She's probably never discussed feminism before in her life. Well, the best is in the middle of dinner, she's just like, oh, if I say a word incorrectly, I'm sorry. It's because I'm deaf. And everyone's like, wait, what?

She's like, by the way, I have a hearing problem. And then the garage band's sad violin loops play. This show's really bad with the garage band free loops. You guys at least pay for the $5 downloads. You're getting music from a television show on something that five-year-olds play with for free on their Mac. Stop it. Stop that. Those violins go... olds play with for free on their Mac. Stop it. Stop that. Those violin lents that go, dun dun

dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Like, they don't even edit them. They just, like, loop them on in there. Meanwhile, Janet and Chica are probably like, oh, you know, she's deaf, but she's so happy. Look at her playing. By the way, I'm surprised that... I was deaf when I was

young, and I was not happy. I'm surprised, by the way, that Lydia didn't chuck her maids letter off the, off the edge of that building. Like, well, I'm sure to land at the house, you know, like a paper airplane and be like,

here you go. Here you go. Please let Lydia go visit that family. Please follow, follow her cameras. Please follow her while she visits that family please hi there you know your daughter she's very good to me and you know why because i'm very good to her last week i let her carry around my purse in the house and also i watered the tree that she

put in my backyard that she found on the street. It's very romantic. So anyway, back to this fight. So Gamble is now deaf. So the rest of the season for Gamble is going to be like a really fun version of my left foot. She's like, I heard what you were saying about me. Not! I was reading your lips right now and I'm really mad Wolfie

Wolfie doing sign language Wolfie's so good with his hands I don't know if he said I'm coming inside right now or if he said is it time for dinner Oh Wolfie Oh Wolfie I Oh, Wolfie,

I love your ambiguous hands. Remember when you asked me to marry me, Wolfie? Actually, I was asking you if you like the muscles. Uh... If you like the muscles. Oh, I do,

Wolfie, I do. Uh, so, this typical Housewives fashion, we start with Wolfie, I do. So this typical Housewives fashion, we start with a fight and it ends. And then it's like next week. And then everybody's going apeshit next week. Which looks hilarious. Jackie's going off on Gina and flipping her off and telling her, fuck off, woman. That's not cool.

The angels told me to tell you to fuck off You're like your angels turned into diamonds Oh fuck off woman Love it They go there on this show Took it too far to too rock Okay well I think we covered

Everything in all three shows So We need another hour Ben Well guess what we're gonna have more uh thank everyone for listening we and for supporting us we have another episode coming on thursday where we'll cover real houses of new york city and southern charm and shah's a sunset and guess what more real house as a beverly hills the lost footage um Housewives of Beverly Hills. The lost footage. And we also have our hangout on Thursday. Yeah, our hangout.

So if you guys want to know how to do that, we'll be telling you on the page. Be sure that you're a donator or whatever on Patreon. And then come to the Facebook page on Thursday. That'll be at 6 p.m. Pacific, right Ben? Yeah. All right. So at 6 p., right Ben? Yeah. Alright, so at 6pm Pacific time, basically you just

click a link and it takes you into Google Hangouts. And hopefully it won't make our phones ring, which it occasionally does. And there won't be technical glitches. But even when there are, we still have a good time. Bring a drink and get ready to talk some shit. You guys can talk about

whatever you want. There are 10 people 10 people can join in the hang in terms of the hangout in terms of people who can appear on screen and talk with us and if those 10 slots are full we'll give you instructions of where you can go just to watch and spectate it's really fun even if you're just spectating it's a it's a silly mess and also the um ringers for the month have been posted. So go get your ringtones over on Patreon, y'all. They're all posted and they're pretty funny this month. Yeah, they always are funny.

There's a really good one of Kim Richards going, blah, blah, blah, right? Blah, blah, blah, right? Gotta get it. That's a good text tone for somebody who doesn't want to hear it. Yep. Alright, everybody everybody see you next time thanks everyone

bye watching it on the internet the folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like reggie watts todd glass liza slicinger slicing driving friends with her for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and i still have a hard time with the last name liza our very own owen benjamin that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy.

There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. To the insurance company that did me wrong. I've moved on and I'm happily insured with another. Bless your peep-picking heart. It was just never meant to be betwixt us.

You gave me automobile insurance apprehension. And Geico has come along and in just 15 minutes given me new car insurance. And made me as jubilant as a newborn lamb in springtime. And Paul has given Geico his approval. That's one thing you never had. Joyful with another. Clara May in Columbia. Geico.

15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.