Watch What Crappens - #1801 BelowDeckMed: Yacht Rock

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

On the season premiere of Below Deck Mediterranean, Sandy is back with an almost entirely new crew. But most importantly, the boat nearly capsizes, and there's a terrible primary guest on board. Fun!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins! A podcast about all that crap on Bravo we'd love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today. It's the wonderful and hilarious. Ronnie Kerim, hi Ronnie. How are you? Hello, Ben D'Aluneus. How's it going? It's going great today.

Everybody, thank you so much for being with us. This is a new season of below deck Mediterranean. I know. And we have all sorts of wacky accents. And by wacky, I mean, terrible. Everything sounds wacky. Like, we're going to make them wacky. They're normal accents for the parts of the world that everyone is from. But for us, we're going to distort them because not intentionally, it's just the way our attempts at accents work out unfortunately. Yeah, so basically anybody knew, we always have to start a new season of below deck with this. We do really stupid accents like we try to sound like them. It usually takes us five weeks, I would say four or five weeks, to even get close. And by then, it's not even their real accent,

it's just whatever we've decided on automation to run with. So today, it's just gonna be a hot spot. Because one thing I will say, this show not only has a new boat, they also have a lot of new accents, which I have never heard. Like I was trying to like press pause and practice and I was like in life

So it's got a lot of newness going on so just bear with us as we get into it Yeah, I'm excited I mean as a student of Love Island UK, which is so good I'm like I feel like I'm constantly hearing these accents and I'm excited to finally put them to use But what happens is I watch the show, and then I pause the show, and I'm like, let me try out that accent, because I've just heard Natasha say something like I wanna get coffee, so I hear her do it,

and then I imitate it perfectly. I'm like, I have her accent down, and then it's the next day, and it's time to podcast, and I'm like, whoa, I'm so mad, the talk's so almost new. And I'm like, what happened? It's like I have to find my ways in. And until I find my way in, I'm just sounding like, you know, crazy clown. Well, I have to thank below deck, Med, because they, you see them trying to make an effort

to make something different, you know, because I guess my one complaint about below deck is like, how many toilets can you watch be cleaned? Like, it's the same thing over and over. It's like, who's fucking, who's, you know, now clean. And now let's scream about fucking, let's clean some more. So they're trying, you know, we've got a boat that's new. It's like this new modern,

I saw it described as an IKEA boat, which I think is very apt. Like it's just kind of super modern, weird looking boat. We've got almost a whole new cast. Malia is gone. And when they said Malta, I like had a moment of like post-traumatic stress where I was like, why does Malia get her own title card? But then it was Malta. So she's gone by bitch. And then we've got who else. We've got Z coming back who's great, you know, we love Z and

Sandy of course is back, but otherwise it seems like they're different now The story lines are still the same. It's like the chef and the chiefs do which is no classic, you know and But you know what's fun about this one is that we have like our We have a bossy but lazy boasting, which I really enjoy. Like I think this is like, I think Reagan is gonna be really hilarious to watch because as we did our trailer preview,

she looks like she's in a Windows Protection, which would explain why she's like a bad boasting because they probably created some sort of resume for her where it's like, well, just say that you're a boasting and then she somehow got recruited onto this show. We're like, yeah, I'm a boasting. I could do this. It's no problem.

I know what I'm doing. And she just, she just bosses around, but she doesn't actually do anything, which is funny to me. So I think that's adding a different vibe. Yeah, the witness protection wig. And it's not really a wig, but it looks like a wig. Like she's dying.

I mean, I guess, but yeah, it is very like 80s movie It's like Steve Martin be friends a hooker, but then he finds out that she's like really a red head You know who's going to college or something? Well, it's almost identical to the pretty woman wig like when in pretty woman where Vivian first shows up She's in almost a wig that looks just like that Okay, so let's start off everybody. So grand hobba marina. Malia.

Sandy walks the deck and just, you know, kind of talking to herself like, well, you know, here we are with the, oh, hi, hi, deck hugs, hugs to the deck. Okay, I'm going to give on my knees, hug the, hug the deck, you're back. So she tells us about Malta. Mm, Malta, she's like beautiful and she's talking about it. Malta, by the way, is probably I'm assuming

it's Roshina was hoping to get married at one point because the capital city is... Fulanna, Madison, Madison reparks Fulanna. So like, a a man this is a with a perker place that serves moths. Damn it. I'm already losing. I quit this recap by I'm leaving.

So anyway, so we learn more about. Six act. Six act. I'm a manta. I want my manta. That's my dream. Manta. I just want to go to manta.

So Sandi, you know, this place has got so many influences here. Arabic, Italian, Spanish, you know, like we all have influences. Captain Sandy Island is hugs, types of wins. And I gave you this chance you better not fuck it up and make me look stupid. Yeah, you know Arabic, Italian, Spanish, and fluences. Also, pop by movie influence. That's right. Pop by Wizz film here. That's right. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta.

Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz came out to San, same year as Panda Express. That's my earmory there. Pop by Wizz came out to San, same year as Panda Express. That's my earmory there. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. Pop by Wizz came out to San, same year as Panda Express. That's my earmory there. Pop by Wizz came out to San, same year as Panda Express. That's my earmory there. Pop by Wizz film here. Pop by Wizz film here. Now it's a tourist attraction at Malta. I like to relate most facts, a panda expressive possible. So Sandy says that Malta is a little piece of paradise that hasn't been discovered by the super yacht industry yet. I'm like, is that because all the parking spots are three feet wide?

Maybe that's why. You know, if you have bad parking, people don't go. You know what else hasn't been discovered by the super yacht industry? Um, fresh brains. Because the parking spaces are too small to try and get us to all by fucking tiny little cars. I know battery powered cars.

Was this Marina designed by Trader Joe's? I mean, why? Why are the parking spots so narrow and in Malta? They really are, they're torturous. Like we, we noticed it when we did the trailer break, but then Sandy's even like later on, she's like, yeah, they won't, they won't even make them wide for us. Then we just have to slide in there. Yeah, I like bitchy Malta.

They're like figuring it out, but I can't get out. It's too tight. Figure it out. You want to park next to Popeye then you figure out how to park next to Popeye. You know who never complained? Popeye. Not one complaint. You know what you need to do to get out of parking of oil. That's all of oil. Song everybody. Yeah. I've seen Popeye rent it. By the way, I'm looking this up because now I'm like paranoid that like I'm just spreading misinformation about Popeye, the Popeye said being an actual

tour. No, it is. It, uh, Popeye village Malta. Yep. Malta yep it's open while you're there do not Google win Panda Express came about because that was just made up so people get married there which I think is hilarious I mean I think it's it's like totally beautiful but could you it was gorgeous. It was that pop-up. So Natasha is first, the chiefs do, and she is one of those like, I'm gonna be nice. I'm gonna be a nice chiefs do, which is hilarious because you know this is all gonna blow up in her face at some point. Or she's gonna have a nervous breakdown. And she's still, which is hilarious because you know this is all gonna blow up faces all the way or she's gonna have an nervous breakdown. And she's like, on a lead by example, kind of a girl, which has to cringe our new like, yeah, it kind of does. Yeah. And she goes, I've been in Yauten for almost 10 years now.

And then we see a picture of her holding up like holding up an iPad to like four girls. Like there's like, she has like, she's having a meeting where she's holding up an iPad and pointing to it. She's like she has like she's having a meeting where she's holding up an iPad and point into it She's like, oh here. Here. I was teaching people about tablets. What an exciting day for me Well, look you know what? I'm gonna show you some papers and it's gonna have your crew on it And you need to pick who you want to be your second. That's a test, okay? No, I know it's not a pop quiz if I tell you it's a test, but I'm testing you. Okay, so there's three men. No, there's five men and three women, which means there's gonna be a co-ed bunk, okay? And listen, don't worry

out there. I see everybody on their little twitters. It's okay with management, okay? So we're good there, okay? Also Hannah's fired. So I hope that's going to be okay with you. Also Arnie Bolson has requested no photos, please. No photos whatsoever. And if you want to know about her life prior to 2017, she has no answers. What was that? Oh, then you book us, you think, because she's witnessed it. She's the one who takes it. Sorry. That's okay. She is going to tramply to dice with you.

Just don't fall for it. She'll get you every time. She does have an exemption to wear a trench coat and smoke cigarettes. She's the only one allowed on the staff who's going to be wearing big chains sunglasses all the time with a fake nose and a mustache attached. If she says to you something like someday Billy boy going to make it to Mexico, just play with it. Just go along with it. Oh Natasha's like oh Dave I just worked with Dave Dave you're incredibly lucky to have Dave what an incredible chef David and she's like farming all over Dave and captain Sandy's like oh

I just sensed fear mons. If you sense sensed them. They're going, my pheromone alarm's going off. Oh, it might be the wind. I'll be back. Go look for your room. I think it's the wind. Okay. So then, yeah, she goes to her cap. And my first note was, oh, the cabins are kind of chic.

It was like really bright down there. Everything was white. It looked almost like roomy. And so at first, I was like, oh, it's kind of chic because I have to tell you something. I have some thoughts about this boat. So right now I'm thinking, okay. So then, um, it's you at first. It definitely needs a stylist. Well, like the rooms are kind of nice, you know, I guess it's their needs. It needs some styling because it's like a mod. I'll

just get into it right now. It's like, it's like a modern boat, you know, and so I appreciate that there's saying, you know? And so I appreciate that they're saying, you know, we don't have to have all these like hideous details that all these other yachts have, you know, it's going to be sleek. It's going to be like stainless steel, like, you know, chrome and glass, et cetera. But the actual rooms themselves are not well designed. They're not, they're not modern looking. They look like they're from like 99 or something. It's super weird because they look like a set was dropped into a boat.

Did you notice that the, like the windows of the boat, like the curve of the boat is a curved wall, but then there's square boxes that are the rooms kind of dropped into that. Super weird. Yeah, it was weird. Also, the furniture, like the 80s,

ruthless people set furniture. It's like all the bright pink and oh, I can't. Like the main salon. Like the main salon. Go back to the rubber gulay boats. You know? Like the main salon felt small and I had like, it reminded me of an Airbnb.

Like there's, there was, like in Palm Springs, there's an Airbnb that I like to, to, to, to use. And, um, all their furniture was like this black plethora, and it's like, sticks to you. And it's like, on, it's like, it's like, you're such a whore. Geez. No, but it's like, it's your own Airbnb in Palm Springs with plethora. So you could just wipe it down. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. Well, no, that's why they have it. So that way it's like, you know, it makes cleanup easier, right? And, but like, it's not, it's, then Benjamin. Well, no, that's why they have it. So it's like, you know, it makes cleanup easier, right? But like, it's not attractive though, but it's like trying to be chic, but it's not attractive. I think that's what this is.

Well, then we get some detective music from like in early 90s. And it's Reagan, the boasting, and the undercover boasting. Yeah, spelled Reagan. And, um, he's like, oh, you know, it's always nice to have women on, actually. Thanks, thank you for having me. It's such an opportunity, thank you so much. Thank you for your money. Thank you for having me on here, Captain Sande.

I'm from West Yorkshire. Not just from Essex. Essex, you want from Essex? She's from Essex. It was the other one from Essex. From Essex. Essex. So captain's like, wow, a woman.

You know what would be great to have Malia back, but she's on another vessel in America, officially threatened to burn us down if we hired her for another season. So this time I'm given a season to another female, and I was given this opportunity as a woman to be on a boat. So I want to pay it forward. I was like, okay, Haley Joel, okay. Like get someone who can lift a suitcase. For Christ's sake. Yeah, because Reagan definitely brings, like, you know, like with the chief stews, there's often this thing of like, now that I've worked myself up the chief stew,

I don't have to do laundry, because I work my way up. So I delegate laundry. But with the bocins, it always feels like bocins and everyone in deck is still sort of rolling out their sleeves. Like, that's the vibe of the bocins. But I think Reagan's very much like, I walked myself up past, I don't have to pick up suits that are too heavy for me so then the chef tells us just did a two with Natasha she's cool I get on with

it like I had some fire his smiles unreal too so yeah I'm trying to dig myself out of a hole here. I'm, I'm charming and hot. I'm charming and hot. I don't trust this chef. He's too hot. His body is way too good to be a good chef. I'm sorry, but I watched the Food Network and Top Chef.

No true good chef has ever had a body like this. I don't trust you. You're gonna food poison somebody. Salmanella is in your future on this boat. He's not tasting his food. So then Natasha's like, I'm gonna go scare him. So then she hides behind the kitchen island and he walks in and she's like,

ha ha ha ha ha ha. And he's like, oh, and I was like, good one, good one, Natasha. And then she just keeps kind of circling him in the kitchen like. Ha ha ha. You're bulls-in. You're bulls-in? How are you bulls-in?

How are you? Are you bulls-in? He's like, what? Bulls-in, you know, buzz it. All right, finally, if you meet me, thing, just let me know if you're me in the bag. Get out, go clean something. Fuck out of here. So Dave, he meets Sam and he's like, oh, well, you know what?

She's saying your praise. Yeah. And he's like, Oh, well, you know what? She's saying your praise. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, she's pretty good too. And they he's are talking about. By the way, sorry, but there's this like long awkward pause because she's trying to get like she's not stupid, you know, she's like, so you'll work together. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we work together. Yeah, saying your praises. Oh, yep, she's great. And then there's this really long pause while she looks at him like, you're pulling in. You're pulling in, actually.

Your lady parts are hugging your penis. I approve of hugs. Do it at nap time. Okay. One thing that I thought was really funny about this premiere episode was the way that they would wedge in exposition out of nowhere. People would say things like, you know, now that I someone would be like, can you make an espresso martini?

Like, I'll make an espresso martini. You know, one thing growing up, we had no money. So I had to often figure out what to pour, what sort of beverages to drink. And that's why I love doing this because there's so many beverages I can drink on a yacht. Like everything was like that. Every single thing was like a, here's a random thing on the boat that's going to somehow relate to some, the fact that I was penniless as a child. Like, I'm just saying this now to keep an eye out for it in the rest of the cap, because it cracked

me up just how clunky it was every single time. So he's like, yeah, I've worked on yours for eight years. I've worked on yachts before I opened my restaurant in the south of France. Super proud of it, but difficult to make a success out of it. I was like, you know what's going to help leaving it for three months to film this show, sir. Yeah. And he's like, he's like, Captain Tan, he's like, wow, you didn't bring your gold medal or something like that. And he's like, yeah, so I want a British ski championships Clon Mount Everest. I've cheated death so many times as a joke. I'm like, well, just what I want to hear on a boat in the middle of the ocean.

Oh, there's someone here who death is coming after that. Thanks. Yeah, well, we mean a final destination character that took care of us. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I didn't even see that bleach drop into the sea. So then Jason, who's kind of like the hippie guys from Indiana, he's got like a man bun, he's really tall,

he's got kind of a cartoon like, like a beard, you know, like that Homer Simpson shading. I'm not sure if he's like coloring in the beard or I'm not sure what's really going on with this guy, but, let's first look at Joel Edgerton. I think I was trying to remember that on the preview, but Joel Edgerton, he reminds me of. Okay, so Jason, I don't know what that is.

Who is that? Joel Edgerton. He was the one, if you look him up, he's been in stuff. No. I won't. So, Jason, I refused. It's not gonna be exciting when you see him. You're like, oh, that guy.

It's not like people are like, oh, yes. It's just that's an actor. Okay. Um, so he's like looking through the buzz and and breaking. It's like, that's me. And he's like, that's you. She's like, yeah. It's like, yeah, great.

So then we see Natalia. So she is, I think, Australian. She's the second to do and she's like she sees Natasha And she's like is this my sister? Is this my twin? Oh my god, Ne? So yeah, we have Natalia and Natasha. I mean you're too skinny pre-met girls who like flat iron your hair Okay, let's not go too crazy here. Yeah, so they're like oh my god So come on god, this is how blonde people feel every day.

Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly

innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown, alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So the gay guy, oh, so then we get Kyle the gay

and his big first scene is not being able to lift his suitcase. It's a common fear. It's like thanks. Thanks guys. Thanks for giving us a gay and making him be the one who can't lift a suitcase. Thanks. So I can't be looking this goddamn good and carrying this big ass bag. So he's struggling. And so then Reagan's inside talking to Jason. And she's like, Oh, I've been in, I've been in Yawin for 12 years. And then Jason's like, is that a Canadian accent? So like, nah nah, Essex, but I lived in Turkey. And he's like, oh, she tells us,

I was born in Essex and I moved from England to Turkey when I was 12 because my parents kept finding dolls in the attic with their arms ripped out. But being in Turkey, I've gone down a bit because obviously I'm a Muslim country and you know, when I'm an Essex, I'm a loud person. But whatever, whenever I feel I think is out there now, you know, unless it's like a baby doll or something then I tend to just tune my head and walk out the back door

and that's why I'm in Yottom Tim turns out Essex isn't the only way so I love the photos of her childhood. It's like her and this little like blossom hat and like little hat with a brim up turn but she's in this like strange fabric. It's just all the all their childhood photos are so so bizarre. I know because they look like they're from like 1970, right? But they're all really young. They're only 1907. I mean, it's just like they're just drawn. They're bringing, they're like showing pictures of like cave drawings. It's like Victorian cartoons. So, so then Kyle, the guy comes on. I on and he's like,

Hello! What? This is happening. This is happening. Oh my god Natasha, wait, one more look. Let me hug you. Wait, one more look. Oh god, oh god, taking you all in. I was like, I feel like I've met this guy a million times. Like, between this guy and the guest who comes on,

I've met these two, these two types so many times at parties. Yeah. What is happening? Yeah, it's me. Thank you. Cole just, like he's definitely going there. So of course, the lady's like, oh my God, the guy, we're gonna have a big dream time. And he goes, it's all happening.

It's all happening, girl. Ha. She doesn't like, there's so much on this show already that speaks to me. Voleta, it's all happening like what happens next. So then Captain Sandy calls Z, who's so out there. And she's like, so good to see your face, Z, you played me padded cake today. It's like just finished around, Kev. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Have you tried Rochambo? It's really great. Or as I like to call it, Rochamboat. I love that Captain Sandy makes everybody on the boat sound like a personal favor from her. Like every single person, she's like, wow, you know, I saw a lot of growth and potential in Z. So to be able to bring him back to watch and flourish, that will be a gift for me to you to him, which will be a gift to everybody. Everyone's going to be nicer to each other because of what I've done here today.

I know she really does, that she really does act like that. So Zee and his friend Storm, not to be confused with Collebert or Dog Storm, are in quarantine until the next day. But the problem is that the Charter's, we're picking up Charter guests tomorrow morning. So it's gonna be rough. Yeah. And spoiler alert, they're terrible. So Natalia and Natasha, they're like going over beds and she's like, all right, someone has to share. All right, someone on the screen has to share. And Natasha's like, you know, the shaft, Dave, he's called a share with somebody, you know, could it be

somebody else? No, must be Dave, has to be Dave. And Natalia's like, well, I hate Shane with Bowls because the smell, the smell, ew, she's like, well, I can go anywhere. So, oh, Dave, you choose your cabin yet? Why don't you go up there? It looks like we're roomies, Dave. And they're all looking at her like,

oh, you're obviously fucking this guy. Like, yeah. And I'm even trying to be subtle. You know, she's like I'm buttoning her top button like Yeah, like a finger in her mouth. Let's go off a bad for I Know she's like even the offer to anyone else to have a co-ed Cabot is so intense here. She's like does anyone else here want a co-ed carbon with them? No, okay, I'll do it How do I do it? So she tells us I'm not a dad where bats It's bad when they're sharing with someone a dinner. Maybe I don't get along with them

And then she smiles I brought that sounds out phonetically if you're hell. I'm gonna say like your accent became really good right there. So then Kyle's like, oh, so you're sharing a cabin. No one told me about husbands and wives on the bit yet. I'll share to cap an experience, huh? Kyle reminds me of some, I feel like if I were at a party, a pool party with Kyle, he would push a girl into the pool and then she'd be like, oh my god had my phone on me and then he'd be like oh, I'm so sorry And I'm saying that because I've seen that happen a few times and I'm like Kyle Kyle would be that type So then we see Dave and Natasha unpacking in their room and he's got like a wooden spoon because he's a chef

You know, but he's pulling it out and she goes what that is that you is that you spank him too he's pulling it out and she goes, well that is that is that spankin to this is not going to end well I cannot wait to see how this ends. I love that he just carries a wooden spoon around is like you never know and you might have to make soup. Oh man we're sure packed on this island but at least we can stir things. Well, then you feel like all these people are van life people. That's what I've learned in the past, that's what I've learned in the past three years

of below deck that like 80% of these people are van life people, right? So I think you just have your wooden spoon and with your toothbrush, it's just natural. Just with your underwear, which is with your bowtie. I feel like half the people on reality TV are a family of people. So now it's time to have a welcome meeting in the main salon, in this modern main salon that's the size of a shoe box.

Okay, well guys, welcome to Motor Yacht home. Yeah, if the name is home, you're not home, it's called Motor Yacht home, as a hybrid, which means, I guess, it's half- yacht home. As a hybrid, which means, I guess, it's half yacht, half home. Okay, there we go. It's the Prius of Boat. Sounds luxurious, doesn't it? Okay, now listen, I like to run a boat

where we help each other. I'm there for you, okay? Now I have a floor thing. I don't wanna see dirty floors, okay? Or hate comments or sexual harassment. I won't tolerate that, okay? If you fall in love, that's not sexual harassment, right? Now if you fall in love, but the other person doesn't fall in love, that could be sexual

harassment. If you use hate speech to torture them, sexual harassment, hugs, not sexual harassment. Unless they're on dirty floors. No dirty floor hugs. That's hate speech and sexual harassment combined, which is double bad. Okay. The hierarchy as a reminder, dirty floors, the worst hate speech. Also the worst, but not as bad dirty floors and sexual harassment. Very bad, but not as bad as the other two. Okay. Okay. So now the best part that Ronnie and Ben wait for every single season. Let's get to it. I want to introduce our chief officer

Ray and our engineer Carlos. Sorry, their names don't rhyme this season, but at least one of them looks like Tally Savales. So I'll keep your panties on ladies. Just just want to say that I wanted them looks like Tally Savales and one of them looks like he just spent three days without Sleeping listening to nothing but the clash. So welcome aboard. Okay, Ray, give us a turn, Ray. There you go. Smack that booty, Ray. Okay, that wasn't sexual harassment, but it was on the line.

You'll learn, Ray. You'll learn. He was on a clean floor, so it sort of, he was boarded line, but the clean floor helped push it over into the, it's okay zone. That's out for rays, what I'm saying. Okay. You know, it's been a while since I've had new department heads. I mean, how can they handle the pressure?

Can they lead? Can they clean floors? And when you're in charge of lives, you're in charge of hospitality. There's no room for error, okay? She's a dramatic. You're in charge of lives. You're in charge of lives. You're in charge of hospitality. I was like, wow, that was quite a jump there.

Lives first, then hospitality. You're not only in charge of keeping people alive, you got to make sure the spoon's on the table when it's time. We don't only deliver food here, we deliver babies. Am I right, team? They're like, what the hell? Okay, you're all welcome. We don't only deliver food here, we deliver babies. Am I right team? They're like, what the hell? Okay, you're all welcome.

Because I know you were all about to think me one by one for changing your lives. Okay. So they all get to work and Jason immediately is like hauling all the heavy stuff and Rick and it's like, you got to put that away. You got it now, put that there. And she just goes to vape like she's getting the ham

at it for sure where she's just like do this do that and then she vapes I really like the part I don't think I mentioned it but earlier when she's like I'm from here then I went to take it and she goes so where are you from and he goes Indiana and she has oh yeah right right that explains it all I've never been to Indiana never ever ever not even through the years of 1996 to 2016 never went there never saw anything I shouldn't have seen so now we go to a stew meeting and Natasha's like you'll find that I'm not one of the tackled chiffes it's over I'm not gonna yell in your face or something like that. That's one of the pack of x,

I was like, are you coming for Kate and Hannah right now? Because you will pay for that. I kind of felt that way. I felt like that's what it was. She's like, I've worked on boats right up to 107 meters and I've had 10 stoos beneath me and I've had, and in the past, I've worked for people who screamed and sweared at me, and I don't like to surround myself

with negativity. Cause when my mom and dad got divorced when I was six, I was a bit of a pieceback. I was like, Zee, there it is right now. She's just talking about working on a boat, and she's like, I don't need to have negativity cause mom and dad, we didn't have money, and they would yell, and I'd be the peacemaker,

and then throw yogurt at each other, and I'd doke and I'd say, stop wasting the yogurt. So that's what I'm a nice chiefs do. And then she tells them a lot to think of myself as an apprentice to Bob Hatson. And they're like, oh god, what a was. Like, can't wait to run her over. Yeah. Well, so she says that since Kyle and Natalia are both very experienced that she doesn't want to do a ranking system, they can just be equal and Kyle's like,

yeah, honestly, because I feel like I just have my rank going on for years now, Chiefs 2. So we can be a joint second and he's like laughing, but you know, it's not a joke. Yeah, because I don't think you're supposed to just say, no rank, okay? Let's just disregard, disregard you know centuries of tradition okay there's no rank I said I don't like rank guess what there's ranks for a reason you

don't just get to go in somewhere and be like I don't like ranks let's not do that yeah and on top of that like they're looking for someone put on their CV and now they can't say oh I was second stew on this boat on TV. Yeah, I think below deck is doing that thing where no one will come on it anymore, except actory types who have maybe done this once because this boat almost sinks by the way. Okay, so Kyle's like, yeah, I'm a service bitch from the get-go,

extreme personality, extreme service. Oh, I've exactly 18 cousins I grew up with. I've to stand out like, hello, can you hear me? What about if I wear lip-apprint and smile and wink in a picture? Now do you notice me? Swarming, yeah, I love you. Oh my god girl. I love that he says I have exactly 18 cousins I grew up with like as opposed to I have approximately 18 but like there's someone who is like We're not sure he's like a it's just an arm Like a severed arm

We're not sure this counts as a person at all I've always called air medical fish because in but I don't really know how to say is that how I'm extreme Elmer the girl fish me cousin but I don't really know how to say it is a sour amic stream I'm so extreme because I said child we didn't have money and I had 18 cousins and we live in the same room and I had to stand out some way Provisions got enough provisions so um Carls like oh gold. This is the most made up of the handle. I didn't mean it that way. So then Jason, now it's time for Jason to give us his backstory. He's like, yeah, I've only been on sailboats, not motor yachts.

So he's one of those. And he's like, most people's perceptions of me are incorrect. You know, I'm from Indiana. I went to a small school called Purdue. I'm like, that's a known school. So far, yeah, so far you're I'm correct. Yeah, but correct'm correct, correct. Because I worked in commodities.

So then like I sold all my stuff and I flew overseas and started painting my nails and I grew my hair out on a bet. It's like, maybe I wouldn't have immediately jumped all those things, but nothing is surprising. Yeah, I'm like not surprised. He's like, yeah, it's ridiculous as you can see. I'm a wild card. No, you're just some like aging dude who wants to be interesting. So you painted your nails. Yeah. Good luck

at the Jack Johnson concert. So, so now it's time for a preference sheep meeting. And we got Billy Radriquez and his fiance Chris Fig figure, and they want to have a Japanese team evening and have a local drag performer. And guess what? We made it pretty far into the episode without me saying it, but now it's time. I want all the water toys, all the toys, all the time. Yeah. Well, just real important for Yaldino,

he met his fiancé in Japan. I'm like, wow, the fascinating. We need to make these preface-shooter, okay? Stop writing, okay? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah, this is not play bill, okay? I don't need to know every single credit in your life. Then I like this with the toys. Yaldino goes, but guess what? The slides held up in customs, which I just, I know it just means that there's a box somewhere that needs to be approved, but I'm just imagining a slide, like holding up an entire line of people at the airport

trying to get its passport stamped. Like, sir, what are you doing in Malta? I'm a slide, I need to be attached to a yacht. Mm hmm. Sir, you had you doing in Malta? I'm a slide. I need to be attached to a yacht. Sir, you had over eight ounces of liquid in your package. Sorry, I'm sorry. No one likes me, not even customs. So, um, Dave reads his part and he's like, Lord of safe food lobster, baits, they don't like baits, they say they taste like dirt, can't be the root.

Oh, and captain's like, that's funny. Okay, you know what, I'm gonna have Ray with you. And then Carlos is gonna be on the bow to get off the dock because we're short people, luckily, Tally Savales counts for two people. Because God, does that star shine bright? Okay. Hey, hey, Ray and Carlos,

this is your captain speaking. You're gonna have to be on deck. Also, hey, did you hear about the one about the beat? Can't beat a vegetable. God, it's funny, right? You're both good. That is good. Okay, you know what?

Haven't only true deck hands is very, very bad. It's a safety issue. You know, the deck means that support. Okay, so why are you taking off? I'm confused. I feel like Sandy would normally be like, no, not going to do it, not going to do it. You know, I saved my boat from pirates and Iraq. So I will not be doing this with less than four decades.

Yeah, seriously. So then Sandy starts micromanaging Reagan a little bit because Reagan is, oh no, I'm sorry to Jason because Jason's cleaning something and she's like, oh hey, can I show you something, how to mop? Just go really fast, go really fast. Okay, this is my passive-aggressive way of seeing you're going slow, huh? Ha, man, but then it just cuts a rig and smoking out by the pure again.

Yep. So the captain's working, you know, and Natalia is jumping around spring bottles with cash, she's like spring sheets or something. It's weird work at spend this bottle. Things like, oh my god, you are disgusting. But I like it. That's the get out of jail free phrase for gays. So then the tires like, oh, I recently was just working in the Kimberleys in Australia as a soul stew. It's very lonely.

So you just, you know, I would like you have to take on every single department service, laundry, nanny, spray bottle, exercise and shakta you know. It's like when my parents made me separate all the cans and food by alphabetical order it was so lonely and that's why I'm jotting. We were poor growing up we didn't have any. So what we had as a game was separate the cans. My favorite game. So the captain's doing windows and Natalia. Oh, sorry, we already did this. So now it's 12 o'clock 6 a.m. and they all could have bad basically. And Natasha and Dave are in

their bunk. It's like, what's your locker, then? They do a little, they do a little fist bump hug thing. So then it's morning, I hate this sound effect more than any other sound effect, though iPhone alarm. Cause that's my alarm. I use the basic alarm of basic bitch. And every time I hear it, did it, did it, did it, ah, stop. Yeah, I don't have my, I don't use the basic ones.

Therefore, I'm not traumatized. Cause you know, like, you know, cause if you hear your alarm anywhere, you can hear it do any sound. Like, you know, if you ever go to a restaurant, like back in the before iPhones, when you had like actual alarm clocks, and my alarm clock would go off,

it has specific tone and a cadence. And there have been restaurants where they have the same alarm for like their oven or something. And I'm like, I hear it do all the noise. It just pierces right through. Yeah. I hear it and then it's like Paplov's dog. You know, like you hear that same sound.

And so I do the same thing I do every morning, which is shut the fuck up fuck you to the phone so I'm just screaming at the TV they need to change the a fat oh god so everybody gets up and starts working and um the captain goes into the galley and it's like perfectly organized and she's like wow he is incredible I know and then by the way when they also one when Dave woke up, he was like, would you like me to bring you some coffee? So that's Natasha. And she's like, yes, please.

So then he brings her coffee and then, and then like now it's a little bit later. And Natalia's like, oh, you're going to have your coffee. And Natasha's like, Dave brought to me one when I was asleep. He was like, here you go. And she sang it as if like, he didn't ask her, do you want a coffee? He's, she's making sound like he just voluntarily brought it as a gesture.

I'm like, yeah, she's living in the day. Not the novel. Yeah, she's like, she's so like, little hearts come out. So Dave brought my coffee. And Tolly is like, um, so is this early love? How long did you work? Like how long did you work with them? And she's like, oh whatever, we're just great mates. So she tells us, I just got out of relationship before coming here.

It's not nice worrying about someone else, but you know, oh no, she says it's nice not having to worry about someone else Just like he is and this time we can bone and we don't have to be secretive about it Yeah, I will see how that works out. Yeah, you go you get you some chef So then Jason is like carrying a million boxes and sandies like he thanks for working so hard and he's like that's what we're here for. It cuts to rig and just yawning somewhere like. And then he has to bring in the floating dock.

Okay, so the floating dock is delivered. It's huge. Right. And it's folded up, but it's really heavy and Reagan sees it just, uh, you have to carry that on your own, you know, but with short hands and she just walks off and smokes. Yeah, he just like, you're gonna have to carry, you know, you have to carry that, right? Like, I'm not gonna help. So he like picks this thing up and he puts it on a shoulder and Sandy is watching and is like, look at that kid

all by himself. Wow, wow, I wonder if he knows the joke about the beats. Oh, such a good joke. Oh my God, he's stressing out so hard, his toenails turned purple. It's crazy. Where's the bulls in? So Captain Sandy goes out there and she's like, wow, you know, I'm always here to help. That's me, Captain Sandy, changing your life, you know,

when floating decade of time, why does this smell like blueberries out here? What is that? Reagan's just like, just vaping. So then inside Natalia and Kyle are making a bed and she's like, did you tuck the sheets and he goes, she bass is like, did you tuck, you know, it's regarding the sheets. And he goes, what do you mean? It's all out. All joking aside, I came out last year in March.

Like, what? What was that transition into like personal exposition? Yeah, it's like, I just came out. She goes, no way. And he goes, I just came out. She goes, no way, and he goes, bobble, serious. I'm talking about bobble. So he tells us that, you know, in South Africa,

it's not really a popular thing to be homosexual, which, you know, crazy different from how I grew up. God, I remember the parties they threw me. Yeah, and he was in a 12 year hidden relationship and it's like damaged by the secrecy of it all. And he's like, he's like, what are you, he met his to the sound and like, don't look at, you know, people because I'm a shafani, they don't look at me like, oh, there's a gay guy in front of me. I see a funny guy in front of me.

I'm like, I would see a funny gay guy in front of me. Welcome to case, I call it. I was like, I felt bad, like I felt like he had, I felt bad because I didn't want to burst his bubble, but I'm like, welcome. Welcome to the template for all of us, sir. Kyle is saying that he wants to get married and have kids but in a rational faith lane, I'm an extrem. And Tali is like, all right, then, so you want me to put the condoms in your bed? So then she tells us, she's like, oh, this isn't Natasha, I think he says this. She's like, I love Claire's beauty, bartending, flair. I tried to deflay, but I dropped the shaker on the floor. So ever since then, I don't deflay,

which I guess is like the Tom Cruise. Yeah, you know, from cocktail bartending, we're just throwing shit up in the air. Yeah, because they showed some like videos of her, like trying it out and like some sort of high school gymnasium. And then because she's in the process of making blue raspberry shots with Jolly Ranchers in them. I mean, they look disgusting to me, but I was like, you know, I know I'm the outlier on this one.

So, then there's like all these provision boxes that need to be put away, but they're like all over the place. So Kyle is like, you know, wait a minute, we have you find a hole, feel it with something. Oh, but the main of that way, I didn't mean it that way. Oh. You know, where have you find a hole feel it with something That's it

I'm just a funny guy not a gay boy So Now it's time to change into whites and everything and the guests are arriving and everyone's you know rushing to finish Oh my god, so Billy the main, we just see him walking up. And he's kind of like a Fred Flintstone type. He's like Barney, I'm sorry. Well, but he's not brought. I'm not giving him a Fred, I would give him a Fred. Okay.

Yeah, because he's more of an alpha type, like a Fred. True. Who's that supposed to a Barney, man? So he's like, Zachadance, please. I was like, oh no. That's my worst nightmare coming down the dock right now. Billio's awful.

So I've definitely met Billio at a party, not him actually, but his type. Like, I've definitely, the sort of person where you're talking to, to them, and then they just say something so mean to you out of nowhere. And because they think it's like, it's their way of dealing with their own insecurities. Like, you would be the type, Ronnie, that if we were at a party and said, so what do you do?

And be like, oh, we have a podcast to talk about the real house. Oh, really? Those shows are such trash. I can't believe you guys actually do that. Yeah, it's a bit of a, so the captain's like, welcome to the motor yacht home. Our goal is to make it your home and the best holiday ever, which normally doesn't really happen at your home, but if it did, it would be called home, right?

Am I right? Hey, can I get a home home? What, what? Like, stop trying to make home happen. Is the dumbest name for a fucking yacht I've ever heard. It is terrible. I hate that it's called home. So then they all know, you know, just change the ball.

Yeah. I mean, at least that's interesting. I'd be like, what? I'm almost go get into that home. And if you're afraid to get on the boat, you're homophobic. No, no. So then no one could ever turn down a charter. Well, we're going to put you on the home. Oh Oh hell no, I'm not going on a homo. Oh really? Guess I'm gonna sue you now. That counts as hate speech.

That counted. You're fired from being a guest. You said that on a dirty floor. Okay, to not pass goal, go straight to jail. Okay. So, so there, so everyone goes on their boat tour and then meanwhile, there's all the luggage. And Rick gets like, Jason, can you grab this one?

It's like, that's like everything. And she has like one bag and she's like, she's like, touch as the handle. She's like, can't carry that. Yeah, no, I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, she's fucking terrible. You know, she is really fucking terrible. I was rooting for her cause, you know,

I'm always rooting for, you know, like a female boss and I'm like, yeah, and she's got a witness protection wig, which is unexpected. I'm like, yeah, I want her to be like kick ass and I'm like, oh, she's bad. Yeah, she sucks. And it makes, you know, she's bad when you're like, well, Malia, I never would have done that. Malia would have always tried as hard as she sucks. And it makes, you know she's bad when you're like, well, Malia, never would have done that.

Malia would have always tried as hard as she goes. Like now I'm gonna be standing up for Malia this whole season. What the hell does this show do to my brain? Yeah. So now, yeah, so they get all the, if magic get the luggage on board and the guests are like,

wait, there's Natasha and Natalia. Okay. And then they're pulling up the lines and Sandeys like Ines Marina the current really pushes the vessel to starboard and Ees Dalfin's unlike last season they don't pull them apart from me I mean they're really close to get I mean they're really close to get I'm gonna I'm gonna captain Glendus one up if I'm not careful if you know what I'm saying but they make it so it's like duh like, so then the chef is going over his craft sheet and getting ready to cook and he's telling us, yeah, you know, I'm full of a craft sheet, but I don't follow recipes

because you know what, I know, I know it needs sour, sweet texture, earth. It's like throwing a ball against a wall. Can I do this? Catch it? Can I not do this dropper? It's like I can envision it. Like okay. First of all, you're throwing balls against a wall. Really doesn't work in the kitchen. Yeah. You're making a fucking mess, sir. And I don't need your self-help bullshit when you just put an entire cinnamon stick in something and then serve that to people because that doesn't work in a ball game either. Listen, just make your devil dags and get on with it.

So take off your shirt. Just take off your shirt so I can properly sexually harass you. That's violation. I hope you're on a clean floor when you made that comment, Ronnie. So by the way, so we already can tell Billy is gonna be a prick. Let's be honest, because he's like, um, why am I waiting in line to take a picture with my fiance? He's basically like sarcastic, but really like means it.

Like, you know, he in his mind, he's like, whenever there's someone, if I want to take a picture with my fiance, everyone has to clear out the way for me. I get priority. Like, you know, that's really what's in this mind. I mean, I guess I'll wait for everyone to cheers because everyone doesn't have their drink yet. Totally kidding, not kidding, kind of serious. But, whatever, shut up, Billy the fuck.

That's what I wrote, Billy the fuck. What a fuck, I hate this guy. So, Ricken is making Josh now do the ropes. He's the ropes. And he's like, listen, I'll do it, but I've been lifting more than everybody else today. And that's why I'm low on energy. And she's, oh, you know, you're still having such big long lines. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Okay. He's like, I'm gonna bite my tongue. So his version of biting his tongue is that they go down into the crew mess and she tells them they're eating

and he's like exhausted. And she goes, you gotta get the toys out, cheer up. He's like, well, I like how you, now you have all this energy. Now that you're not lifting heavy stuff, like, oh, I can't lift this bag. It's too heavy. Well, too bad, lift it. I'm like, damn, that's your boss you're talking to. Not like, oh, I can't lift this bag. It's too heavy. Well, too bad. Lift it.

I'm like, damn, that's your boss you're talking to. Not wrong, but your boss. Well, with that bag, I'll not be able to lift it myself. And he goes, okay, yeah, so it's all on me. And he goes, yeah, because oh, deck hands didn't come. And he's all pissed about this is not gonna work for anybody. Like, you have to be able to lift something to do the job. Yeah.

I mean, what the hell, lady? So I think coming up, I'm certain I said, no, cinnamon, I'm my preference sheet. My favorite teaser of the season so far. No, cinnamon. So, Chefy does like a crazy overkill for lunch, right? He serves them a family style buffet Italian lunch, so he serves them so much food. Like yeah, it's just plate after plate after plate.

So Natasha comes over and she's like, well I could chew on if you won't want, but I don't want to be one of this, hey good, you know, one of this, hey good chiefs, stews. And like, ew, you know, one of those Hegghead chiefs, and like, ew, your wine skills suck. They just kind of shoot her down or whatever. And then the anchor comes down,

and then poor Jason hits his ankle on something, you know, because I think that's gonna be the running thing with Jason, it's just being wounded. Yeah, so the guest for now eating a soup, and Billy, of course, is dramatic. He's like, it's very, ha ha ha ha ha ha. How true, peppery, it's very peppery. Yeah, I'm like, okay, listen.

You're not freaking Woody Woodpecker, okay? Like this dramatic sneeze over pepper that only happens in cartoons, I'm sorry. Yeah, especially when his pepper in something. You did not just get like walk into a cloud of pepper. There was black pepper in the soup and you're not. And also everybody else loves the food. It's only him.

Every time he serves something, it's a bitchy complaint. So then the octopus comes, it looks beautiful. Everyone's like, Oh my God, this is amazing. He's like, you making these faces So then he eats it and everyone's like this is so delicious. I mean, how do you make seafood without And then meanwhile, Sandy's like Reagan Reagan Reagan You need to put the toys in the water and you see Reagan turned to J.S. Go. You need to put the toys in the water. And he's your Reagan turned to J.S. Go.

Yeah, to get the toys in the water. He's like, fuck you. Did the torch say? So, now we get 12 hour brazed beef cheeks, right? And Billy's like, yeah, he's looking. I'm like, whoves beef cheeks too. It's like two of the, are you gonna be not a dick about one thing that I hate people like this guy?

Oh, he's terrible. He thinks that like by being like overly critical that actually means that he's discerning but it's actually not quite the same thing. Yeah, you just look like trash dude. So then his husband's like, um, there's cinnamon in this and he's like, Oh, well, I'm a hundred and thirty percent sure I have said no cinnamon on my preference sheet. This has cinnamon. Kyle, I'm sorry, Kyle. I was like, no, don't be sorry. Tell me these things. I need to know. Talk to me because, well, I mean, pretty sure

it's on my preference sheet. I kind of already didn already dead. I'm talking to you. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. He's being such a dick. So then, so then Kyle goes and tells the chef and then he was outside upstairs, be here, Billy, say, I mean, when have you ever cooked beef with cinnamon? I'm like, uh, there's like all the time, like Maracos on the phone. Hello, I was about to say,

hello, have you ever heard of Middle Eastern cooking? I mean, any Asian cooking at all with the fuck? Yeah, I mean, like it was just such an ignorant thing to say. And I just love how, I just love when idiots like this charter these boats and then they like to act like they are doyans of high class experiences and they don't know shit. When you're a waiter and all the waiters will get this, when you wait on somebody like this and they order like the most expensive glass of wine on the menu, you know they'll order like the $30 glass of wine and then you bring it over so they can taste it.

And I used to love and I know a lot of waiters do this. Sorry, people who aren't waiters who are going to be horrified. Just pour the cheapest ass table shit piss wine and watch them swirl it around, sniff it deep, and then go, oh, yes, this is it. The pepper with the tannins with the bit of it. And just watch them monologue and jerk off all over the table. Wouldn't you know that they're just so full of shit? I mean, there's nothing more liberating than that. I wish I could wait on him. Yeah, I wish you could wait on him too,

because he's so terrible. I'm still so mad that he's like, disgusted at the notion of beef with cinnamon. Like, it's fine if you don't like cinnamon, but like to be shocked that beef is ever cooked with cinnamon. When it's actually so delicious, it's like such a wonderful pairing. I mean, it's just like, oh, God. So.

So he's like, I need to see the primary preference. That's what I need to do. So Natalia and Natasha. Natalia. Natalia. Natalia. Natalia. Natalia.

Natalia. Natalia. Natalia. Natalia. Natalia. Natalia. Natalia. So I just started writing tolya and tolya because I'm like, I can't do Nats. I have to take that out. That's what I've done. But I say Natasha goes over it with him and then I have tolya having no mind. So I can finish it. Natalia because she's trying to write down cinnamon and she's like, oh, I can never spell cinnamon. What do you do? Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon. So the chef is like, oh, God, the first lunch is super important because it sets the tone and there is no gram cinnamon to be fair It's just cinnamon sticks. It's aromatic. I mean, I guess you just can't please everyone

But I don't want to fight you know, it's team the channel once said I don't want to fight no more So if you don't like it, I'm just gonna keep going into you to like it. Yeah I'm assuming he meant that he just had like a, like some cinnamon sticks in the, in the breeze, right? But that being said, he's like, it's not cinnamon, it's just cinnamon sticks. I'm like, well, that's cinnamon flavor. Still. But then he gets his another plate and he's like, yeah, he must have been cooking the

same thing with cinnamon, but it is better. So then, by the way, we find, is this where we find out he did not have cinnamon on his preference sheet. He did not. It was not on there. So all of this and that motherfucker didn't even write it down to the first place. Well, that's it.

What a shit. So then, then a girl's like, I feel like we should be in the water. So now it's time to get the toys out, but there's something with this boat where like, the toys are in the hall and they have to be loaded up in the bow And then they brought to the front and so the aft or something like that. It's just crazy Who designs a boat like this? It's like the craziest shit. They have to bring the boats up

Then they have to lift them up with an actual lift like put them on a rope Yeah, and lift them and put them on a rope and lift them and put them in the water and then get into the water to take them to the front. I mean, that's just bad, but design. I don't understand why you spend all this effort to make a weirdly functioning, but like every other yacht we've seen,

there's like that butthole that opens up. And then they, right, I forgot what it's called. The someone, that people always do. Let's just go with butthole. I love it. The boathole. But it is, you know, it's like a butthole. And it's like the swim club, whatever they call it.

I don't know. This is a stupid boat. No. So stupid boat for stupid people. So now Billy is talking to Reagan because the captain's been like, okay, we'll go ask him what they want to do today. So Reagan does. And Billy's like, do you have the things that you hold on the hand, Ours?

Skiddies? Yeah, skiddies. Pedal boards? No, no. The skiddies. Pedal boards,'s pedal boards no no the skiddo's Pedal boards surfboards no skiddo's yeah, and I think she got it at first and then she just Degressed I guess because she didn't want to have to get out the skiddo's no, I think that she said because he she said She said the ski bobs or skiddo's or whatever and then she's like and she goes so you don't want the stand-up paddles Paddle boards or the kayaking, he goes,

no, that sounds way too much exercise. And he goes, oh, and also the Jetsky's too. And then she's like, oh, yeah, okay, sure. She like makes some, she's hesitant for a moment because I think she's thinking like, okay, I've got to figure out how to do this or whatever. But she lets the process show on her face. And she's like, okay, cool.

And then she walks off and then he, he starts spiraling. He goes, well, she looked a little apprehensive. I'm not sure she's my favorite. I'm like, okay. She's clearly one of these, is like deeply insecure. So now he feels like he's been rejected by her on some level. So now he is gonna go on a hate campaign against her

when all she did was like pause for a moment. And like, she sucks for sure at her job, but like He was like it wasn't as too much. Yeah, he's too much and he's bitching to Kyle He's like yeah, I'm not that that's what she was. He's like no, no She's always like just making shorts right and because no, no. Yeah, she's not my favorite So then they're getting the ski do's out okay, and they're finding out that they have to lower them into the water and all this bullshit So then Kyle's like, are you okay? And he's like, well, no, because like I asked a simple question and then she gave me stank face and guess what?

I don't need stank of faith. He's got enough fucking stank face on your own. I mean, I guess you don't need any extra, but you are all stank. Literally, literally literally like a minion for the soul of the time. Literally like a minion with Tankface right now. I mean, that's the... He's a minion with Tankface. He's a terrible sour minion. He's like a minion with a terrible personality.

Like, he literally just gives everyone's Tankface and when he gets like the hint of a Tankface in return because of his Stanky requests, he's like all shocked. It's ridiculous. And he's like, Reagan's my key character. He just keeps going. He's like all shocked. It's ridiculous. And he's like, Reagan's my only way. And he's like, like, don't give me attitude. I mean, a ray end. Like, if you're going to be a stupid bitch about it,

then I'll show you. I'm going to show you fucking stupid. And he's got this big glass of wine that he's just like muttering to himself over the railing. Ugh, gruff. And then it just cuts to like, there's this one random gay in a caftain who really only exists to give like generic gay responses. And they just cut to me and goes,

that's not fun. So then Kyle's the captain's like, what's going on? He's like, well, the guest is not, is very annoyed. And she's rightfully so am I read Let me talk to him. I'm sure I won't enrage him at all with this completely condescending moment. Come on I'll show you how to do it. Billy what's happening here? He's like I'm annoyed with Reagan like I don't want to be a Drama queen. She's oh you're not a drama queen. I'm not finished because on the preference sheet it says

Slide out at all times. Show me where the slide is. Where is the slide? Where is a slide? And she goes, oh yeah, I know. Guess what? We don't have one. It's held in customs. He's like, oh, well, there's that. Then fine, then make up for it. You know what I'm saying? Make up for it. Okay. So I'm going to just push him over the side. Say, you're just your fucking slide. Okay. We changed it to, we've changed it to a free fall. Bye, bitch.

I agree completely. This guy, I, like, monster, a total, I feel so bad for all the customer service people because, you know, like when you compare this guy to that guy, Chuck who's on blow to exhaling, Chuck was like the worst of all the worst. The one maybe redeeming quality for him, which I even shudder to say guy, Chakuzambo dexaling. Chak was like the worst of all the worst. The one maybe redeeming quality for him, which I even shudder to say that,

is that at least Chak doesn't pretend to even be nice, but Billy, you know, he tries to be, like he does the fake nice thing, but he's like a vicious monster. He's just as bad as Chak, but he tries to be like, mm, I just don't really like this, but then like the real monster comes out and like he wants to slide out all times.

I guarantee they put the slide out at all times he goes down at once and then he's like, that hurt my thigh, I'm not gonna do it anymore. He just knows that it's a pain in the ass for them because he watches below deck. Like anyone who comes on the show watches it, right? So he knows that's the biggest dreaded thing is the slide. So he's like at it all times it's like wow you're so powerful Billy and he goes oh yeah I'm a customer service guy oh okay so you're like about a bitchy customer service guy getting his

revenge like who are you shut up Billy and he's like it's not that she's rude she's just not like a warm-in fuzzy I mean like a warmer in a f saying he's like, I am really sorry and you have every right to tell me that. Now I have a question. Have you ever thought about bundling a landline with your internet? Just trying to help your diffused the situation. Don't try to customer service me, bitch. Sorry. Got me there right again.

But I have to tell you, Billy, fun, fun time, Billy, drinking and wave rendering, that's not gonna happen. So I'm gonna have to have the crew take you. He's like, ah! Ah! Ah! Yeah, he's so mad. So then, Sandy is like moving some stuff around on the deck

and Billy's like, wow, you're like, Sandy, you're like very hands on it. And she goes, this is how I started. I didn't just start driving a boat. Hey, do you hear the one about the beat? It's don't beat a root. Can't beat a root. That's something goes, hey, Dave, can you come out here for a second and do the root the beat thing again for me? Thanks. So now they have to unpack these guests and iron all their shit, you know, because they're these people and Jason and Reagan are driving the drunk ass guests around and Billy's on the back of Jason and the gay and the calf temps like glad Reagan's not with Billy

They all start laughing Zach lay Zach lay so then now Dave's preparing dinner. Oh god another another Oliver twist tomorrow. I know for dinner. Geez. Gays you're wondering what goes into his meals. My mom and dad didn't have any money and at the age of 13 I just worked as hard as I could. Washing pots at a busy restaurant, souping the floors, throwing bowls at walls, all the shit jobs, that's what I did, and then I went to Mount Everest, but that's another solid story.

Which is why I'm making lobster tail. I got it. Okay, great story. So two hours till dinner, and it's like me that's being cut, glasses are being knocked over almost. Yeah, and so now the guests are gathering, and Billy is like, am I the only one wearing a suit tonight? You guys are trash and he is the only one in a suit. So you know, he's

like super self-conscious and he's like angry. So he's going to make life hell for everyone else because he's just that's trashy person himself. Um, by the way, I just coughed really hard, but I pressed the mute on my Skype, but I forgot that this record's into, into just a regular track. So I'm sorry everybody for just coughing in your face. Oh, I, yeah, but said, and hear it at all. Oh, yeah, I muted it, so it'll be on my recording,

but not the one that you get, so everyone's gonna still hear the cough. Sorry everybody, I really let it go to you. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna extra cough. I was like So do you have anything else to cough sure Sorry everybody that was really Not just I understand your one star review go go go go right now Well Ronnie, it's just you know, it's it's not that you're like rude It's just that like you're not warm. And I'm a customer and service guy

and I'm gonna cough in my face. That's disrespectful to me and my charter experience. Okay, so let's see. Why is this five hours long? Because nothing happens on this show. No, I think in this case things do happen because Billy is a fuck face. I mean, he's triggering me.

Because like I said before, I've dealt with Billy types at parties before and they are so cruel because they have not figured out their own shit in life. So he is now, now Sarah has made not Sarah. She gets Sarah energy. Her name's not Sarah Natasha. Doesn't Natasha feel like she should be named Sarah? I'm, I want to name her Sarah. Are you talking me over?

All right, stick with Sarah. No, I was just thinking it over. I was like, is she Sarah? She looks like a Sarah. Like I just like organically wanted to call her Sarah out of nowhere. I definitely agree that she's not necessarily in Natasha. Like I think of Natasha's as like stronger and not someone who's like, I don't want to be made to pay for.

Like I think of Natasha's, you know, like, trying to kill Bullwinkle or whatever. Like I think of them as like really strong. So I agree she's not in Natasha. I'm not sure about a Sarah. I'm not feeling it. Yeah, but, either way, you know what,

I'll keep my receptors up in. So she's made this big table scape, that's like lots of scattered pebbles, but the table has got like lightened or something like, there's just a lot of personal stuff. It's got blue lights, it's like little blue lights glowing all over. So Billy can barely sits down and he goes,

hey, Sarah, change the lights to not that. Yeah, and then he's just like sipping his espresso martini and then Miz and Stormer on the way and they're in like the water taxi and they're playing Rochembo for some reason or walkpapuses. It's cracking up like he's still a child. Yeah. She's like, hey, I hope we have some jokes so when everybody gets to bed maybe we can do a little hop scotch. They say, have they? So the steak is served and of course Billy being Billy hate it. And he's like, I'm Kyle Kyle.

So this is like a little more rare. So like if you could cook this a little bit more stupid face, why are you even alive? Take it back. Take it back. I can not believe I just am not back. Yeah, it's like Wagyu beef and he wants it basically cooked gray. Yeah. And Dave, obviously obviously is unhappy.

And so meanwhile, Zee and Storm finally get on board and this other girl are like, hey, it is like, hey Billy, did you already finish yours? Why don't you have a plate and he goes, I had a plate, it wasn't medium. So he gets it back and at least he likes this, you know? So he finally found back and at least he likes this, you know. So he finally found something he likes. So then Storm meets Santee and Z talks about

how it's like breaking out of prison, being out of quarantine. And so she's showing them around the boat and stuff and we meet Storm and he's like the big dumb mustache guy. Yeah. And he's like, I'm a dead bag pirate. Some people don't enjoy me. And that's okay. If everyone likes you, you can do something wrong. It's like, oh, rebel beard. Rebel Luigi, bring it. I know. We've had like a run of very self-consciously must-assured people on Blow Deck recently,

because we had the guy, I forgot his name, the unregular Blow Deck, who had the handlebar mustache. And then we had Lloyd Lassie's and who had a mustache with this guy with his mustache. No one on Blow Deck sailing had a mustache, so I'm grateful. I'm not opposed to mustaches, I just feel like on Blow Deck,

it's very much like I'm gonna be on TV, and I wanna show that I'm wacky, I'm gonna grow a mustache. Well I just feel like I'm below deck. It's very much like I'm gonna be on TV and I wanna show that I'm wonky. I'm gonna grow a mustache. Well, it's just on this show, especially. It's just never a mustache. It's always like, yeah, I have a mustache. It's not gonna give a fuck.

Like there's always like some like baggage that comes along. It's a baggage mustache. It is a baggage mustache. It's, you know, it's annoying. Well, the mustache has to do with some heavy lifting because it also is like substituting as personality too. Yes, yes.

So the indesert is served and Billy just looks at it like, ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! And Starm and Natalia meet in the hallway, they pass in the hallway and she's like, oh my god, Stone is preky.

Oh! Ah! Which tells you all you need to know about her. Billy. hallway and she's like, oh my god, stone is preky. Which tells you all you need to know about her. Really? Yeah, to be honest. So then Stormin's the year putting away provisions because all those boxes are still out. And Zee's talks about how he and Storm were like childhood friends and they played against each other in like water polo or something and that Stormin's had

that mustache since he was like 13 or whatever. So, you know, just, so I guess the TLDR on Storm is that he's like, hasn't progressed much since he was 13. That's the story. Now, I don't know how I never got into drag because this job seems fucking perfect for me. You just basically show up and hate everybody to their face.

Just like, so the drag queen comes and she's just like, ah, they're like, here's the bone. She's like, all right, don't even turn on any music. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. There's like some cartwheels, does the splits, but it's like very aggressive. You know, it's like, and splits and hops the floor. And it's like, okay, bye, some of check.

Sorry, I got a check check I hate all you people I gotta get pop-by village tomorrow at 7 a.m. gotta get outta here ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha theme parties growing up with no money and with Yorkshire, my grandma would treat me and my sister trips to the theatre and it felt like electric to me to be able to entertain guests to make other people feel that way is how I felt as a child, it's just magic. I'm like, okay, I'm sorry, it's a drag show, it's a drag show on a yacht. This is the tie to going to the theater with grandma as a child, it feels very tenuous. You're not recreating any magic, Steven's on time, okay? Calm down over their cats.

It's like you put a lot of funny wig to be a man for service. No one's leaving this like, you know what? That changed my life. That was magical. I had to remind you of being having no money and growing up and grandma would take me to the theater and I would at least escape to a different life. And then one time I walked into a wardrobe and I was in a different kingdom and there was a lion. It's like, okay, okay. So hiring a drag queen. I finally gave back. You're welcome,

grandma. So then, you know, now it's time to clean up and everything and everyone's going to bed. And so Kyle and Tasha are doing the everything. And everyone's going to bed. And so Kyle and Tasha are doing the table. They're taking it out of the table. And he's like, sir, how long have you been, chef? And say, and it's how to scream. And she's like, we know. He goes, oh, bullshit.

You're smiling at it. Look at you. Yeah, he is trying to be like, I figured it out. So she talks about previous relationships on boats. She's like, growing up without any money. Oh, wait, no, I already did that one. But she talks about growing up with no money. I'd have to sneak around to have relationships around the house with my toys.

But she says that the best part about a relationship on a boat is that you can blow off steam and trust that person not to say anything to anyone. I'm like, have you, have you seen? Have you watched Bullo deck? And then we learn, then this is where we really learn about Erica. She goes, I got that lonely. I shouldn't think like that, but I do. Ah, ha, ha, that, but I do. Ahahahahaha.

Crazy. Because we haven't had this. Like, he's fucking crazy. So she goes to bed and Dave's in there. He's like, hello, she's, you want to screw? And he's like, yeah. So then it's the next day and Tasha and Dave are hugging in bed like in the morning and he's she's like, yeah, gonna like it when I make it. And he's like, are you naked?

She's like, yes. So then the captain has got a bug up her butt. She's like, hey, wait, where's my anchor watch schedule? Every bullson should have a watch schedule day one. Where's your schedule? Reagan, Reagan, Reagan, Captain Sandy, Reagan, Reagan. Captain Sandy has just changed your life hack. Let your pay your back like this. Reagan, where's your schedule? I need a schedule. She's like, I'm working it on today. I'm getting up this morning. Then Z's gonna get out. Then I'm gonna tell Jason to carry something really heavy. Then we're gonna take a break and I'm gonna laugh at Jason

for being soaring us back. Then we'll do it. Just listen, you have the tender should have been in the water already. You've got two deck hands. Toys, toys, toys, ABT, always be toying. Okay, priority, tender, wave runners, in the water, toys, toys, clean

floors, no sexual harassment, a beat joke here and there, but toys and the day toys. And then your schedule. So she goes out and she's like, uh, of, then we see Talia and she's serving breakfast to the guests and she's holding two juice pictures in front of her chest and she's like, hey, like what you say with these jock, you like these jugs, yeah, you like them boys and they're like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. So then, now they're putting all these, all these, the tender in the water and like Carlos and Ray are helping out. There's just all this pandemonium and because like the tenders go up and there's lines

That's be held and Reagan's just barking. She's like hold it tight hold it tight Jason storm. I'll do that I'm turning her into Daisy, but I'm still still trying to figure out her voice So they finally get this boat in the water, but the problem is the stabilizers aren't working Don't don't don't so the boat starts tilting over. Like it starts falling over because all this weight has just left one side of the boat. And Luigi is just driving along. And it's kind of like that meme where it's the little girl.

And she's just smiling at the camera and behind her the village is burning down. Yeah. It's like that. Like the boat's about to capsize. And this guy's just oblivious. Like, yeah, isn't this the life? Yeah, and everything is falling over.

Like all like the bar, just like everything in the bar just rolls off of it, except for the red vines, red vines are just like on the floor. They're like, well, are they ended? I don't know why you guys are still rolling around. And then it's just like panda, it's very below deck sailing yacht, but it's not cool because it's not a sailing yacht.

So it shouldn't be doing this, but I'm happy for it because then I hear one of the girls goes, one of the guests goes, are we crashing? What's happening? I'm like, you deserve this fear right now. This is worth it. You know what?

Birds of a feather flock together. Everybody on this boat seems nice besides Billy, but when you hang around a Billy and the lightning strikes him and you're nearby, you're gonna get it too Yeah, hang around a Billy, okay? Those people are toxic. Get them fuck away from you Yeah, this this terrifying moment is all worth it just to see the fear on Billy's face, which I hope we could get to see Oh well that brings us to the end of below, Dicmator Training. That is it. Thank you all for being here.

We'll be back later this week with recaps at Beverly Hills, Girls Trip, Southern Charm, etc. So we'll catch you there and don't forget Mondays we got to take a seat on Spotify Live. So if you missed it, it's available on demand. So, thanks everyone for being here. Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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