Watch What Crappens - #188: Asifa and Bobby Need to Shah-t Up

Episode Date: May 29, 2015

The national nightmare known and Bobby and Asifa have taken their made-for-TV bickering to Thailand, and it seems like the prettier the landscape, the uglier they become. Join Ronnie Karma (trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) as they dive into this latest unpleasant episode of "Shahs of Sunset." Then it's off to Melbourne for the big part one reunion of "Real Housewives of Melbourne." Like Petitfleur's book, it's RAW and FROM THE HEART. You can donate to us at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: @watch-what-crappens On iTunes: bit.ly/crappens Facebook: www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Watch for Crappins is brought to you by Casper Mattresses. Go to casper.com forward slash crappins to get $50 off your mattress from Casper. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch that crappens. Charming, and the musically gifted Ronnie Karam. Oh, thanks, Ben. Thanks.

Ronnie Karam, I should note, is from TrashTalkTV.com and the world. Tried to give you a second credit there, and I couldn't think of one. I don't have second credits, Ben. I'm trimming down the credits, all right? Ronnie is a very special person. And if you want to learn more about Ronnie and people and things like that about this podcast, come to WatchYourCrappins.com and follow us on social media. You can find all our Instagram and Vine and Twitter things there. But perhaps most importantly, you can come to facebook.com

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And of course, you can support us on Patreon, patreon.com forward slash watch where crap ends. Our supporters get access to a bonus episode every week. This week, we just talked about Mad Max and the Duggars. So that's fun. And once a month, there's a Google Hangout, the ringtones. It's so it's so great. There's a Google Hangout, the ringtones. It's so great. And, you know, of course, you can subscribe to us on iTunes and SoundCloud. If you missed the last episode, we had Heather MacDonald on, who is a famous person. So that should be – Yeah, sorry about our sound. Skype has this thing when we record that if it drops a call, I guess it's messing with my mic or something because my mic was really low. Damn it.

We'll figure this out one day. Yeah, but isn't that our charm that we sound like we record in a barn? mic or something because my mic was really low damn it we'll figure this out one day yeah but isn't that our charm that we sound like we record in a barn i'm sure people love that yes trying to like have a run or something yeah it's me whispering and then everybody else like or vice versa the point is we understand that there's a problem but we're a little helpless to fix it at the moment but we appreciate your patience and we will make it up to you somehow, some way. And the first way that we're going to make it up to you is by reading an ad. But before we do that, we're going to say today we're going to talk about the Real Housewives of Melbourne reunion, part one.

The latest episode of Shah's Sunset. That's so Persian. The latest episode of Shah's Sunset That's so Persian And we are for sure Going to talk about the latest Kim Richards gossip Which is just fresh off Fresh off the presses

But before that guys We gotta talk about mattresses And you know what I'm actually excited to talk about this Because I need a new mattress I've had the same mattress since 2002 And I've hated it every single day but i'm like i'm like i just have never like mattresses are expensive mattresses are

one of those things you should spend money on like condoms like don't get the cheap condom yeah i bought my mattress for 400 lesson learned so um so i am actually dipping my toes into the mattress market these days. So it's convenient that we have this little ad from Casper. Casper Mattresses. It's not from J-Lo's boyfriend. So Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. I'm reading it like Reza.

The mattress industry has inherently forced customers into paying notoriously high markups. This is true. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the consumer. A Casper mattress provides resilience and long-lasting supportive comfort. Casper's mattress is only one of a kind. A new hybrid mattress that combines premium latex foam with memory foam. That's two foams.

Two foams for the price of one. Double foam. Mattresses can cost well over $1,500, also true. But Casper mattresses cost between $500 for a twin size mattress or $600 for a twin XL, $750 for a full-size mattress, or $600 for a twin XL, $750 for a full-size, $850 for queen-size, and $950 for a king-size mattress.

Casper understands that buying a mattress online can have consumers wondering how this is possible. Buying a Casper mattress is completely risk-free. Casper offers free delivery and returns within a 100-day period. It's that simple. Statistically, lying on a bed for four minutes in a showroom has it's that simple statistically lying on a bed for four minutes in a showroom has no correlation to whether it's the right bed for you i can i can vouch for that to test that i can vouch for that with my mattress right here my dear mattress of

14 years that i hate the bad marriage that's why casper has turned the buying process into a risk free experience casper understands the importance of truly trying out a mattress that in all reality you should spend a third of your life on that's right so um this is this here's some really important points for you guys and okay an obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price is what a casper mattress is i messed up our topic that's the right pounds two technologies latex foam and memory foam come together for better nights and brighter days. Okay, this one's actually important. For those of you who are like, I'm not going to buy a mattress off the internet. Well, guess what?

There's a risk-free trial and return policy. You can try sleeping on a Casper for 100 days. I think J-Lo did with free delivery and painless returns. It's made in America. $500 for a twin size and and 950 for a king size comparing that to industry averages that's an outstanding price point yeah oh and so if you want to buy a casper mattress you want to get oh if you want to get 50 off an already pretty cheap mattress by the way 850 for a mattress for a queen size mattress is actually pretty good um so if you want to get 50 off your casper mattress all you have to do is go to casper.com forward slash crappins that's right

come to casper.com forward slash crappins we've made this the longest commercial i know i know and so for those of you who've fallen asleep on your non-casper mattress wake up the podcast is getting back it's like we're half an hour into this all right we're ready to do the show so sorry to everyone so sorry and thanks to them for advertising no all right so what are we talking about today so we were a little light on shows this week because um whatever and blood sweat and heels took off from memorial day not on memorial day well we. Well, we all remember on Memorial Day people showed shit. So I don't know what that's saying to the military.

Well, we all remember what happened when the Blood, Sweat, and Heels gals went away for Memorial Day last year. Yeah, nothing good. Micah. Micah and the Hamptons. But anyway, we gotta start with the gossip, right? Let's start with...

Yeah, there's actually some gossip. Let's start with Kim motherfucking Richards? Let's start with... Yeah, there's actually some gossip. Let's start with Kim motherfucking Richards. She's searching for Casper. Casper the friendly mattress. She's like, oh, there's a ghost over there in shape like a rectangle. Kim Richards. This mattress never disappears.

I want my money back. It's a very friendly mattress. He always comes to me at the polo lounge. It's like our spot mattress. He always comes to me at the Apollo Lounge. It's like our spot. I've been taking my Casper mattress to the Apollo Lounge since I was five with my mom. Oh, Kim. Oh, poor Kim.

So, of course, Kim Richards, you know, and I know that us even talking about Kim Richards could put her into a terrible alcohol fueled rage because this is all everybody else's fault. Casper's off limits. Kingsley and Casper, off limits. This weekend, so after Dr. Phil, Kim was like, yeah thanks,

it's so nice to meet you, thanks for everything you did. As if she didn't just run off set screaming, fuck you you fat guy, Mustaches are 10 years ago. She was pretending like none of that ever happened. And she didn't go to rehab. She picked her own facility, which rumor has

it. I miss you, Adele. Come back. Rumor has it is not at all a rehab facility, but a sober living facility, which is very different. Wait, this is her most recent stint or her first stint? This is the one after Dr. Phil.

Oh, really? She's like, it has to be close to my house, it has to have parking, I want a McDonald's on the inside and a Taco Bell on the outside and then a Pizza Hut across the street. And nothing but Casper mattresses. So she wouldn't go to rehab, but And then a pizza hut across the street. And nothing but Casper mattresses. Hmm.

So she wouldn't go to rehab, but rumor has it she went to some kind of sober living facility or whatever. And she got out because one of her big worries was being able to go to her daughter's second wedding. Right. When we saw on the show last year. And the second wedding is now, for whatever reason. These kids are just getting a million weddings. These women are richer than you are. Their kids get five weddings each.

Yeah. She got out to go to the wedding, and there have been pictures all weekend of her like, you know, hi, it's me, I'm getting married. I'm not going to run from Richard Gere like I did did the last sounder, I guess. Welcome to Cabo. What's your dream? She was there, and TMZ is reporting today that Kim Richards melted down at her

daughter's wedding over the weekend, to the point where her sober coach quit, her daughter isn't speaking with her anymore, and those presents say she was either on drugs or alcohol. Yeah, you know, this is all bad news. First of all, the sober Her daughter isn't speaking with her anymore. And those present say she was either on drugs or alcohol. Yeah, you know, this is all bad news. First of all, a sober coach who quits, you know, that's really bad. Because that's the one thing a sober coach is not really supposed to do.

But it's sort of like when the PR, when Teresa Giudice's PR woman quit, it was like, there's just nothing I can do. Let this woman just, just kill herself, you know? Uh, well, the, the sober coach invoked the lemon law. Yeah.

No fixing this bitch. Take her back. I don't care what I signed. Yeah. Well, how about she doesn't have a sober coach? How about she has a police escort next time? Well,

there, you know, you know, she's being charged too. So she might, she needs to have like a Reese Witherspoonpoon hot pursuit um bodyguard or like police friend who keeps her like on a handcuff with her and then they get into hijinks together in mexico multiple sources told tmz kim was clearly under the influence of something although no one seems to know what whatever she drank she did so in private but she was a mess we're told she was

saying horribly nasty things to her daughter brooke right after the wedding what a shock. Man, if you're going to feel anywhere, if you're going to feel uncomfortable anywhere as a sober coach, it's Mexico. Yeah, I know. It's got to be a horrible place for a sober coach. Yeah, that's not where sobriety goes to flourish. Yeah, so no one knows what's happening to Kim. She's silent, but I have a feeling she's in a booth somewhere talking to people who didn't invite her. I'm just imagining her at some part of the resort that's been, like, freshly painted, and her just, like,

her face up against the wall, sniffing the paint off the walls. You guys gotta get better cancer medication in Mexico. Jesus. I had some more shout-outs. So, poor Kim, you know, God bless you, Kim. Get it together, lady. Or not.

I don't care. But stop cursing out the groom's family, especially when he's rich. Doesn't his family own Casper mattresses or something? Yeah, I know. His family is very wealthy. Well, the daughter's not speaking to Kim anymore. So she's really, you know, it's basically her and Kingsley. And who knows where Kingsley is?

Stuffed Kingsley. By the way, off topic, I'm on the TMZ page and there's this stupid picture of Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift. And it occurred to me, Ed Sheeran looks exactly like Caroline Manzo. Who's Ed Sheeran? He's the one who sings all those awful songs. And you know what?

That's not a good look if you're a pop star. I'm looking him up. He sings one song that I really like called The A-Team And then everything else he sings I think is just like the worst thing in the world Oh he's so little And he looks exactly like Caroline Manzo

He does look like Caroline Manzo He looks like a cross between Caroline Manzo and Craig I mean Craig Aiken Clay Aiken Not a good cross to be, by the way. Not a good cross. That's like not.

God bless him. Yeah. Learn the guitar. Yeah. Or something. Listen, I'm sorry. I'm just thinking out loud. Are you staring at Ed Sheeran pictures now?

No, I'm just looking at the one picture of him with Taylor Swift. And she's got like little squinty eyes. And he's frumpy with his ginger hair. I'm just looking at the one picture of him with Taylor Swift. And she's got little squinty eyes, and he's frumpy with his ginger hair. I'm just seeing Caroline Manzo. Is he dating Taylor Swift? Because that would be a good breakup song. Like breaking up with Caroline Manzo. I know. You have too many opinions about my life.

Too many opinions about my life. Well, it's funny because the picture right above the Montiams is a picture of Gigi Haddad. So it all comes back to Real Housewives anyway. Because also Gigi Haddad was in Taylor Swift's video. Who wasn't? I know, exactly. Kim Richards wasn't. Kim Richards thought she was.

She's just like walking on the beach in Cabo thinking she's in the music video. And now they're getting back together. That's the wrong song. She's in a Taylor Swift. And now we're getting back together. Like the wrong song. She's in a Taylor Swift video from a long time ago. Shake it off. Shake it off. My niece sent me a video. I said, send me a video.

And so she made me a Taylor Swift video of herself. And now they have apps on the iPhone where it just cuts together a video for you and puts effects. And she has like five different costume changes. And she's like doing handstands what the hell i amazing that's what kim was doing i have used that i have used i have that app and i used it to great effect two years ago to make a similar sort of video to blurred lines with no rape and no rape involved yeah oh so let's get on to our bravo talk all right? We're like, we're light on shows today.

This show's going to be five minutes, and it's been a mattress commercial and Kim eating paint. Which is, by the way, they're very similar, you know? But Dr. Phil is the one who suggested a paint can. I'm sorry. I've been sniffing memory foam. So don't give two foams to Kim Richards, like the gremlins. Don't put Kim Richards on two types of foam after midnight.

Otherwise, a demon comes out. I can't find my keys. This memory foam is broken. I want to leave this! Special line at Casper for Kim Richards calls. Memory foam is broken. She's like, I'm trying to put on my... She's like tearing up the mattress

and putting it on her face. It's supposed to make me like younger and smarter. Memory foam. So anyway, should we talk about... Why don't we talk about... I woke up remembering how Cas stole my house! Yeah, let's talk about whatever you want. Let's talk about Shaz, since it was yesterday. Oh yeah, and we gave Shaz

a little shorty last week. Okay, let's go into Shaz. Shaz! You're in trouble today because I type notes for Shaz. That means they're like five times the length that they normally are. I'm going to talk about every little thing. Look at how Gigi's arm wrinkles at her elbow. It talk about every little thing good how gg's arm

wrinkles at her elbow it's like every little thing it's like that police song every little thing she does is magic it's like the reverse of that every little thing she does is not awe inspiring uh so we open at what was that the the The Campo de Cahuenga restaurant? No. It was like, what was it? We opened, you're talking about where Mike and Gigi were? They were at that restaurant called like Chai or Chai or whatever, XAI. It's on Sunset.

It's actually like equidistant between us. It's on Sunset across from the Chipotle. They go there a lot because I guess guess you know if there's like a hookah around hookah and like free hummus those people are there which sounds so racist for me to say those people i'm sorry i just meant like literally like gg and mike they'll gravitate to any hookah and hummus so um uh so they go there and mike is he's like he's like you know what he's like i have so much love for gg i have Gigi. Things have gotten so off track with Goldnessa. I have to find a way because I have so much love for her.

I have to see where things went wrong. That's not right. And so then they showed clips of their beautiful friendship. And he's like, you're a horrible person. You're going to be NAFTA. No available friends to asshole too yeah all right you've got to change and then she's like crying and then like getting drunk and throwing stuff i was like this is a really nice uh this is a really nice memory great great friendship two assholes what a terrible

friendship to end so she's like well mike you you tried to fuck me did you not try to have sex with me and he's like he's like gold nessa like we were drinking so much we were drinking so much and we were taking pills i can't remember i do not remember and i love how he goes from like not remembering to kind of remembering to like well who cares if i did yeah exactly yeah because he's like you know what i apologize if i tried to have sex with you and she's like that's not an apology i'm like you know this whole thing is so ridiculous so he's like this is terrible i might have lost a friend forever and when i was in the restroom some lady came in and pulled down her pants and that is completely rape it's almost rape

I've called the police the lady's still in there probably pink stupid gold NASA if I try to be sexy she was saying what did she say when he's saying he's just asking listen

why have you been so hateful when we were friends and we've seen each other? He didn't say this, but he's like, we've been hanging out for a year and you've never said anything until we were at some party in public. The thing is, Mike can't form a thought.

He says things like, why you gotta be a hater? Why can't we talk in private? None of that's really the issue. How about, why did you wait a year and pretend you were my friend and then bring this up publicly at a party in find out my relationship and he and he does have a point obviously because if they are such good friends gulnasa should know that he's a horn dog they all acknowledge that he's like a man whore so if he's really wasted and they have acknowledged

that they were all wasted and he's doing this it doesn't make it right but she should as friends give him the benefit of the doubt and say sit him down and be like you know what last night Mike we are like really tight and you tried to make a move on me and it made me feel super uncomfortable like I think I need an apology and he could at that time he would say oh my god I'm so sorry I don't remember that but she instead turned it brought it up to a level of rape and then sat on it for a year and then made a whole big thing about it and put the friends in the middle. And now, even though she's actually in the right, she's acting in such a way that Mike sort of seems like he's in the right now. She's not in the right.

I don't see one way that she's in the right. Well, she's in the right in the initial circumstance where if he tried to hit on her and it made her feel weird, then she has a right to feel weird about that. But she has now done – she's handled it so poorly she has fallen out of the right because she's now equated it essentially to rape even though she says she hasn't. But she has. So he's like, listen, I'm sorry, I guess, whatever. Let's be friends. And she's like, no. What I need you to say is that I accept that I tried to have sex with you, but I don't remember.

And so he's like, okay, I accept that I tried to have sex with you, but I don't remember. And she's like, no, that's not good enough. It's like he's reading the exact script you just wrote him, Gonesa. Come on, lady. I know. I mean, it's like every year she's just in the middle of some absolutely ridiculous stupid controversy every single year in my heart I know that you know

what she's saying oh Gigi I like when Gigi comes up with lines before she comes I know I just wish that we had a sequence where Gigi talked to herself like that one season when she went to anger management and they had the scene where left side of the screen Gigi talked to right side of the screen gg do you remember that yeah

angry gg talked to like rational gg uh yeah gg's crazy but mike's also an idiot and he's marrying a bitch on wheels so good luck with the rest of your life. That guy's not going to be winning at any point. Mike's entire storyline this season has been saying over and over again, it breaks my heart. He used to be a brother. It breaks my heart. That's it. And also covering his Lexus seats in Bentley covers,

which I didn't notice until someone posted that on Facebook. But this guy is just never going to tell the truth. Okay. No one believes that that's a Lexus. Or that even if it is a Bentley that he actually owns it. It's probably like the same Bentley that gets passed around between him and Slade Smiley. Although, wait, no, I'm sorry. Gretchen got Slade a Rolls Royce, a fake Rolls Royce.

That's right. It's the Bravo Bentley. Gretchen got slayed at Rolls Royce. A fake Rolls Royce. That's right. It's the Bravo Bentley. Also, wasn't he driving a Bentley to his engagement? Yes.

Jumping out of the plane thing? No, no. He took that shit right out of the Bentley. No, no. That was a Rolls Royce that he drove. Because remember, I got mad because I'm like, you know, when you have a Rolls Royce, you're supposed to be a passenger in it, not the driver. But everyone drives them. So stupid. He's driving his

Bempcus. So anyway, that was the last of Mike for the episode. And then it was, it's time to go to Thailand! It's my honeymoon without my honey, that's so Persian! What's a bitch gotta do to get to Southeast Asia without my honey that's so persian what's a bitch gotta do to get to southeast asia

without his honey first of all can i feel any less sorry for reza really he's asking for pity you plan a wedding then you dump the guy then you go without then you tell all your friends they can't even call him to comfort him then you go on a friend trip on your wedding trip and leave him at home. Yes. What the hell, man? And you bring two assholes named Bobby and Asifa in his place. I mean, they probably would go in the first place. But you would rather spend that time with Bobby and Asifa rather than having Adam there and it be kind of awkward but you guys could stay in separate rooms.

Rather than having Adam there and it'd be kind of awkward but you guys could stay in separate rooms. Or honestly, you guys could just both be there and just be working your shit out. He didn't break up with him. He just broke off the wedding. They're still together. Yeah. It's bullshit. He left Mike literally in their apartment.

He's like, bye. I hope we work things out. I hope when I'm gone you learn to not be attracted to free ball porn because I'm not wearing, I'm not going commando, alright? It's hard with nuts this big. So, um, on the plane, so first of all, Bobby and Asifa, they've been awful all season but they have just been reaching new

levels of awfulness. They get on the plane and they're fighting in first class. I feel bad for all the passengers on there who actually paid money to fly first class. It wasn't on Bravo's dime. People who paid like $10,000 for the luxury of having peace and quiet first class as they fly from L.A. to Thailand. And these assholes are sitting there like, babe, put your tray up. Be a man.

Put your tray up. Babe, I don't want to put my tray up. Fighting is so ridiculous. Babe, if we were going to crash and the air thing came down, you probably wouldn't even put it on yourself first. You would be selfish and put it on me first, babe. Babe, be a man. Babe, no,

what I want from you, what I need from you, I know we can get married. Babe, you held my peanuts for me. That's so uncool, babe. What kind of man does that? You should have woken me up to give me my peanuts. Babe, I can't believe you turned your phone off on the plane. Like, be a man.

Rebel against the rules. Put your Wi-Fi on on your plane, babe. On your phone. Babe, babe, why can't I even speak right? Babe, stop clogging my ears yeah my ears are popping babe you fucked you fucked my neighbor what's her thing and then she said you fucked the trainer so which is it is it your friend or is it the trainer or is it your friend who is a trainer i think i think that's what it is i mean everything she brings that up so often.

It's like, I'm surprised there wasn't a flight attendant being like, okay, would you like something to drink? I don't know. Why don't you ask Bobby? He sure likes to drink out of my friend's pussy. He sure likes my friend's trainer vagina. Yeah, I'm not really sure about that. Like, if he fucked the trainer and, because that's not your friend.

I mean, they act friendly and stuff because they're salespeople, because that's not your friend i mean they act friendly and stuff because they're salespeople but that's not your friend that's someone you hired or is it your friend it's like you fuck the starbucks guy and i know him because he wears a name tag but that's not my friend like i can't accuse you of fucking my friend because i know him right you know what i mean i need more specifics on this i need them to talk about it more because i really haven't had enough of it. Yeah, exactly. They fight the whole way and they're awful. I mean, I would have been a big fan of just opening up

the emergency exit and just kicking them off. Or just telling everyone, quietly tell everyone on the plane, hey, everyone put on your seatbelts. And then when Bobby and Asifa are in the bathroom doing the mile high club, quietly when they get out of there, just open up the emergency exit. They just get sucked out

and then they close the door and then everyone can take off their seatbelts again. Yeah, just close it. Hey, you guys, Mike is going to propose to you in the back of the plane. We're going to need you to meet us back there. Just push him out. They're falling down like, I'm going to be a whore! So even before we get to this

plane shit, because I told you I have notes on every single thing that happens. Sorry for jumping ahead. I'll let you steer it. How about that? Yeah, but feel free to take the wheel, because you know how it can get. I'll be like, and then they went to this place with a trash can that had one of those lids that you have to push with your hand.

Who wants to throw something away if you have to trash attach the trash lid that's attached touched other trash? Babe, does this trash can remind you of my friend who you slept with? Because she's trash and so are you. Babe, be a man. This is like you, babe. Everybody's putting their hands through you.

Be a man. So MJ is talking about how she can't bring her boyfriend and she wanted to have sex on a Thai beach. So Thailand should be sending you a thank you card at any moment. They're like, we take a lot of sick shit in this country we don't need to see thailand's like we're ready for the next tsunami and then it's her talking to siri who she calls siri yeah and i love just imagining siri crews sitting there on the other line yeah like waiting to find uh mj directions for shit mj's like siri should I pack my extra tight

lace bodysuit or should I pack my extremely extra tight lace bodysuit? Siri, do they have tennis in Thailand? No? Good. I'll still wear a tennis outfit to a fine dining dinner with pink

eggs. Oh, God. She said, should they call off the wedding and surrey said surrey said um five signs you should call off a wedding and why my mother got 47 million dollars in the divorce um but i just wanted to talk about the bobby stuff because we knew this trip was going to be bad even when they were packing because they were doing that fake fighting thing they do when they're packing. Where she's like, babe, what are you going to pack?

Or he's like, babe, what should I pack? And she's like, I'm taking hair straightener. And then he's like, damn it, I wanted to know about clothes. And then he throws his shorts down. Whoa, you sure threw those workout shorts. Yeah, he's like, babe. And then she's like, you know, man, through all I've been through, I really think I deserve a ring. Like she's... Yeah, I don And then she's like, you know, man, through all I've been through, I really think I deserve a ring. Like, she's.

Yeah, I don't think that's. Yeah, I don't think that's how rings work. I don't think that's how. I don't think weddings are rewards for putting in, like, time and punishment. Okay. I think, like, weddings are the consummation of love. Not consummation, but the culmination of love. Okay.

I don't think it's like, babe, I washed your dog. Now I get to get married. Yeah. I deserve a ring now. She's like waiting for that email from Starbucks that says you get the free one. Yeah. Congratulations, gold member. You just earned a free drink.

I slept with Bobby 12 times. I am waiting for my free download and my free wedding. They're horrible. And then, yeah, fighting on plane. And then Reza gets there and he's like, oh, geez, in one cab and everybody else in the other. So they didn't have to listen to them anymore. But I found that to be very Yolanda Foster. It was.

But I got it. I understood because they just I mean, Bobby and Hasifa are so terrible. I felt bad for Shervin. Cause you know, Shervin is the best of all of them. He's like the nicest guy. He's the best looking. He's the friendliest.

And he gets stuck with Bobby and Asifa. Yeah. And, oh, you're always trying to, we're always trying to figure out who Bobby looks like, uh, with his bad man,

plastic surgery. For a minute, I thought he had possum face because he does kind of have possum face. I saw one one time when I was stoned, and I thought it was an alien. I had never seen a face of a possum before, but he has possum face. Yeah. But this week, I think it was more like Joe

Pesci. It's like a possum playing Joe Pesci. I feel like he looks like a Mexican skeleton. You know, like the skulls for, like, Day of the Dead? Yeah, the Day of the Dead. Yeah, that's what i think what his face looks like if you if you really look at it once the wax melts down the candle you know like covering the skull like that yeah it's you know he looks like he looks like a bad horror movie if someone's about to like get like shot in the head and their head's gonna explode they have like a weird like plaster of paris version

of the head that's's going to get destroyed. That's what he looks like. You know, with bulging eyes. Like the fake, the fake head that's about to explode. Yeah. Yeah.

In a 1984 horror movie, like he's about to get like an ax in his head. That's what he looks like. Cause his, cause his beard is obviously painted on. It's like drag King beard. His hair is fake too. It's been,

it's been plugged in and his skin is like plastic and weird but like tight and everything and his eyes bulge so he is definitely like special effects special effects face not only is he hot he constantly starts fights with his girlfriend and says things at the end of every fight like then move out we're done it's like jesus how many times you're gonna break up in one episode for christ jesus yeah so they make it over to thailand and i think it's hilarious that you're in thailand okay and the hotel you choose looks exactly like the party buses like those terrible party buses that they rent well the the resort i mean it looked it looked amazing but i

know what you're saying what i kept on thinking was when they woke up for breakfast, they're like, it's time for breakfast. And they're just all eating American breakfast. And I'm like, have some Thai breakfast. Get into it. Get into the culture. All they do is eat. I do like how on this show that they actually eat things. They get to the room and there's a huge spread and we see them eating.

And the next scene is breakfast where they're eating. And then they meet at dinner where they're eating yeah wow so then well you you lead it but i was going to make a comment about the tricep but you you get us to the tricep okay yeah the only thing i had about this was that it's obviously a free thing because they were reading it like we read casper commercials yeah he's like i wanted to come to the most luxurious hotel in Thailand. One that did not make me feel uncomfortable. One that did not feel like a springy mattress that felt good in a store but then terrible once it was delivered. It's like, Jesus Christ, make an effort, man.

I know. He's like, I chose this resort because they have a great promotional code. It's like PullmanResort.com forward slash Shaz. And you know that's a Bravo hotel because their decorations are gigantic vases that are too big for anybody's house. Yeah. Pretty much any place that any Bravo show goes to looks like a version of the Borgata in Atlantic City. Wait a second. Why is the menu at this hotel all, like, ahi, ahi salad, and, like, chicken? I'm trying to think of 80s dishes from Vanderpump Rules.

Darling, Chef Penny. Chef Penny just got back from her residency in Thailand. I'm sorry. I'm doing an Australian accent. I'm all turned around, like darling. All right, Chef Benny, I want you to get back to the kitchen, all right? And I want you to make noodles, make noodles,

but then put egg, shrimp, and peanut sauce on them, all right? And we'll just call it like Thai something. All right, Chef Benny, big idea. Okay, here's the idea. Okay, you take some chicken, all right? You put them on some skewers,

then you take some peanut butter, and you add a little bit of coconut into it, and you call it chicken satay. Alright? It's revolutionary. It's from Thailand. So they have all this food, and then they're fighting, fighting, fighting, and Mike makes a comment.

Or Shervin's behind them, and I keep calling him Mike, because it's basically Mike, who hasn't who hasn't mentally raped anybody yet. Yeah. But Shervin's like, ha ha ha Bobby, you're going to get beat by the end of this trip. Because of course, the

nice one on this show makes domestic abuse jokes. Yeah. The nicest one. And also it's like, how about you stay out of other people's relationships? Yeah. How is he supposed to do that exactly the whole plane knows about your fucking relationship yeah by the way if you bicker in public if you bicker in front of your friends you have lost the right to tell them to stay out of your business i'm sorry it does not it's not a one-way

street okay if you're bickering in public people are allowed to tell you to shut up and make comments and weigh in i'm so you've made it a public thing one of my friends this weekend was complaining about her boyfriend all weekend i mean what an ass because she was mad at him what an asshole he is this and that so by the end of the weekend everybody's like did he even text you yeah you should break up with his ass and she's like i don't like how everybody's telling me i have to break up with my boyfriend oh god stop talking about it yes jesus so by the way so one of these meals and i think this actually kicked off one of the fights bobby mentioned that he liked having his tricep sucked which it's like the the image of like uh like some girl's face latched onto the back of his arm like a lamprey.

Wow. That was just a disgusting image. And then Asif was like, is that what the trainer did? Is that what the trainer did for you? I'm like, Jesus. Anything. Anything. She will bring it back. And you know, she has to just shut up. She has to really shut up about this. You went

back to him, so you also lose the right to throw this in his face over and over again. Okay? Sir like a refill on your water sure oh really did the trainer do that did she refill your water after she fucked you like oh my god it's not all about that leave the bus boy alone i know and then and then this is also around when reza this is one of the many times that reza decided to have to shed some crocodile tears, you know, it's really hard for me. It's really hard for me to be here. To know that, like, Adam was supposed to be here and he's not. Like, don't.

Because I made him stay at home. Like, you don't give a, you don't care at all, Reza. We know when you care, you, like, do your, you, Reza's a crier. And when he cares, you're like, I can't believe that Adam is not here in Thailand with us after I told him not to come and that he wasn't welcome and that he can't call any of his friends yeah I feel really

bad for you Reza and he's saying oh my life is he says during this listen guys my life has been really stressful and difficult what are you talking about your life has not been stressful and difficult you were an asshole talking about? Your life has not been stressful and difficult. You were an asshole to some nice guy who's dumb enough to be with you. You did this.

Your boyfriend has done nothing wrong to you. Nothing. Yeah, I didn't see a lot of this regret happening during your bachelor party, Reza. God, Adam doesn't even know about that. It's almost like, don't invite Adam to Thailand so that when he finally finds out that I had some dick in my face, he won't even know about that. It's almost like, don't invite Adam to Thailand so that when he finally finds out that I

had some dick in my face, he won't even remember to be mad because he'll just be so grateful that I allowed him to fly somewhere. Yeah, I mean, Rez is actually doing a classic thing, which is that, you know, he acted pretty inappropriately on that bachelor party. I know it was a bachelor party, but he was making out with a go-go dancer, and that's

actually not cool. I mean, it depends on their relationship, but I got the sense it was not an open relationship like that even if even though kissing is just barely you know breaking the rules it still is kissing and he knew he did something wrong and he he probably doesn't he never liked adam let's be honest he never really liked him kissing a stripper is just as bad as i I mean, giving someone a blowjob. Where do you think that stripper's mouth has been all night? Yeah, exactly. So it's easier for Reza to, rather than be like, whoa, I kind of crossed the line.

I really fucked up. It's easier for him just to push away Adam and make it seem like somehow this is Adam's intimacy issues. It's like, no, you never were really that into Adam. I mean, he may have liked Adam, but it was evident that he didn't like love Adam. He just was doing it to try to prove to himself that he could be an adult. And rather than say that he fucked up, it was easier for him to, I think, to push Adam away.

This is my armchair psychology based only on what Bravo gives us. Well, I'm about to do Instagram psychology. Oh, good. I'm too lazy to even do armchair psychology. So I went to Instagram to do some psychology. I'm too lazy to even do armchair psychology. So I went to Instagram to do some relations. I was like, is this guy, does he even really like Adam? Why is Adam in this relationship?

Like, what has happened to Adam? And also, if you're ever in a relationship with somebody, and this is for you, Ben, because you are, you should look at your Instagram, and then you should look at their Instagram and see how even the pictures of your significant others are. Does that make sense?

Like if you look at Reza's Instagram, it's all pictures of Reza. All of them. Every single picture is like a selfie with Reza and somebody famous or, you know, some friend he's out with or some red carpet he's on or blue carpet in this case. Everyone, you have to go all the way down to the bottom to find one of adam and adam's leaning into it he's like trying to make himself a part of it he's like wait i want to be in this one i'm never in a picture and then there's a couple like four months ago that he the adam's actually in but then you go to adam's and it's like of course a ton of pictures with reza reza reza reza reza reza adam and reza adam being nice to all of reza's friends adam holding

mj's dogs right so you know this relationship is doomed because their instagrams are totally unequal yes but if you have an Instagram that's all about. Basically your relationship and your boyfriend. And then your boyfriend has you like. Way at the bottom of his. That just means that you probably love him more than you. And you can do better. Also there are plenty of men who don't like wearing underwear Adam. Go find one.

Yeah you know Adam. We shit on Adam a lot. But he actually seems like a very nice sweet sensitive soul. And he needs to not be with a crazy narcissist like Reza. Yeah, we don't shit on Adam. We like Adam, don't we? Adam, we're going to take you to Color Me Mine. And we're going to find a lovely, sweet, gentle gay for you there.

And then you guys can just be happy together. And go pet llamas on your bachelor party. And have a beautiful wedding with yeah they need to have like a nice nice app that's like grinder for gay people who just aren't into like being whores and fucking around all the time and obsessed with fucking fat hairy people yeah maybe it can be like sweeter yeah it could be like that um you know like one of those good reads or something you know where you it's like for gay people who want to meet each other, but they just want to talk about books. Yeah, exactly. They want to talk about books. They want to go knitting.

Tame gays. Tame gays, which is basically what I've become. I've become a tame gay. Well, that's good. That's the goal. Yeah. I mean, otherwise, look, if you don't become a tame gay when you when you're in your 30s and stuff you become just sad gay standing around leather bars with your friends complaining about stripper outfits like me yeah i like here's how i've become a tame gay on sunday my friend invited uh me out to sunday funday at the abbey and instead i wound up like walking

around the silver lake reservoir um and like like going to Angie Thomas's house. It's like tame gay. That's tame gay. Like last night for Memorial Day, I wound up going to a – randomly to a barbecue at Bonnie McKee's house. She's like a songwriter or whatever. barbecue at Bonnie McKee's house. She's like a songwriter or whatever. Crazy Hollywood barbecue with

hot people drunk and swimming around. I was like, okay, after 20 minutes, I'm going to go home now. Tame gay. I'm going to go home and watch something on Bravo. Tame gay. I'm like, who's up for some

Settlers of Catan? Tame gay. Who wants gay. I'm like, who's up for some Settlers of Catan? Tame gay. Who wants to suck my popsicle that I got from Trader Joe's that's made out of coconut and very low in artificial products? Tame gay. Tame gay. Hey, let's go home and sit around how cancer can be solved with an all-vegan diet when i go when i go to me when i go into the tame gay app and i write into with a question mark i'm really just talking about like baking you into like carrot cake or chocolate cake i'm into dick clark lists of the billboard great songs

of the year uh i can't wait to get my hands on that big, fat, cocker spaniel drawing. Drawing. It's not even a real dog. I just want to hold the drawing. Oh, tame gay. Tame gay. So, what else happened on this? Now I'm staring at a giant picture of Ben.

My favorite tame gay. Yeah. It's on my Skype thing. Do you think Tame Gay is going to be the next dad bod? You know how dad bod was started by some random kid wrote, mentioned something. I don't know if it was a woman or a guy,

but mentioned dad bod on his little Tumblr with 13 followers. And now dad bod is a cultural phenomenon in one week yeah tame gay is gonna totally catch on i think it actually has caught on i just think we don't see it as much because we live in a city like this where everybody tries to pretend they're like a young vibrant gay for a long time yeah um i think there are tame gays here they're just what they're i think i

learned this from bravo they're dinner party gays right like when when you can't meet anybody sensible and normal in a bar it's because they're at a dinner party okay it means you're too old to be at the bar yeah that's true i mean but that's and that's basically what but but the thing is this though the crazy gays do have dinner parties too but you know what though if you ever here's how you know if you're a dinner party with crazy gays versus tame gays the crazy gay dinner i shouldn't say crazy but it's more like the party gays versus tame gays, the crazy gay dinner, I shouldn't say crazy, but it's more like the party gays party gay dinner parties tend to not be very good.

It's like, here's something I heated up. They found it. Ralph's like, yeah, Ralph's flatter section. Yeah. If you get,

if you go to a dinner party with a bunch of gays and like all the food is like Ina Garten or Martha Stewart or, or just delicious, then you are with the tame gaze and you should be happy because that means you've made it yeah but if you're if you're at a dinner party and the buffet is full of like think thin bars and um those starbucks those big starbucks jugs that office people use yeah wrong if you are at a dinner party and someone has brought a rotisserie chicken from a supermarket, then you are not with the tame gaze. I love those things.

Yeah. Okay, so next scene, they eat more fish and then Reza's like, this is what we do it's so Persian, we eat and me and Adam, we plan to eat and then eat and then eat. You're supposed to wait until you're married to get that fat, okay? Calm down over there. It's bad enough he's not fucking you already. You really think the answer is going to eat 10 courses a day calm down over

there reza yeah seriously res res um and then there was a time then they kind of split up to give advice to the friends there was a wait there was a guy there was a debate about um asifa if her nipples were peach or not one of the worst debates that has ever reared its head on bravo tv like yeah my my nipples are pink yeah mine are pink he's like no they're not academy is a new scripted podcast that follows ava richards played by hbo's industries my holla harold a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List,

Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost?

Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now

by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking

about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th,

or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. What? They're brown! That's so Persian! It's so Persian to think your nipples are peach when they're not. Bad coloring

is so Persian. Is it me? I thought it was kind of gross in a weird way to describe nipples as being peach. It's like that scene in Face Off, the movie, when Nicolas Cage says something like, everybody loves a taste of peach, and he kisses a woman. You're like, ew.

That's a bad peach moment. I just think anytime Atifa opens opens her stupid fucking mouth i can't pay attention i heard peach nipple and i was like okay i'm looking on facebook now i'll be back whenever this bitch is done talking she and she thinks she thinks it's like a moment of like hilarity it's like this is this will be a moment to show off my personality make me a fan favorite i'm gonna talk about my nipples being peach she's an awful human but they both are they're made for each other i just wish they'd do it off camera yeah um so they split up reza's gonna talk to bobby and then asa is gonna talk to

stupid asifa and by the way our lady's like oh hi you want that you want that pedicure this is for your mind and your body and then asifa's like oh yeah we want to manicure she doesn't speak that length okay she does the language isn't bad thai accent you idiot like do you talk to everybody with a different accent like that just try to match their accent to make yourself seem more down get out of here well um you know um what's funny is how even more offensive is the way they kept on walking up to everyone and being like, Aloha! Aloha! I'm like, why are you saying Aloha in Thailand? Random foreign word.

It's like when teams are on the Amazing Race and no matter what country they're in, they always tell the cab drivers, Rapido! Rapido! Rapido! Love the hotel. Can't wait to yelp the migas you gave us today it's like no bitch this is thailand stop i know um okay so the difference in the therapy is very funny because os is like listen listen hon what you really need to do is like think about your spiritual compatibility and just stop fighting and res is like dump like, dump the bitch! She's

mean to you! You should have left her in Thailand until she stopped looking at men without their underwear on the computer! Reza's advice for relationships of his friends is always to dump them and get rid of them. Well, he's right in this case. Not like Bobby's

in the right either. I think that Reza being in the right in this case would make bobby right and bobby's the worst no but bobby bad as her yeah but the truth is every scene he does but ultimately one of them has to dump each other and he's the only one who's going to do it because the difference is well they are both terrible people but ultimately she keeps raking bobby over the coals for something that he did when they were, not only were they broken up, but like, well, just that he did it when they were broken up. I'm sorry. That's what I meant to say. He did it when they were broken up, and she went back to him.

So she keeps going back to this place, and she has to stop. She has to shut up or leave. And so Rez is right. Bobby should just be like, get out of here. Like, I'm sick of this. Now,

Bobby, of course, is terrible because he always, sorry, go ahead. Well, I'm going to say, cause Bobby,

I'll interrupt you when you're done. Yeah. Well, I'm like, I, the coffee is like in my brain now and I can't make coherent sentences. I'm sorry, everyone.

Like my, I'm just waiting for my, my quote of the week to have a million likes and ums in it. I'm sorry, everyone. I, I'm just waiting for my quote of the week to have a million likes and ums in it. I'm sorry, everyone. I'm not articulate. Not glib. So, but Bobby's problem is that he always threatens to leave or we're over. And then he always goes back, which also doesn't help things.

It's like a parent who doesn't follow through with the punishment to the child. I mean, they're both wrong. But they need to not be together. I'm sorry. Even though they deserve each other. I think Reza's wrong because Reza's saying, like, if she treated me like that, I mean, dump the bitch. It's not about how she's treating him.

They're both terrible. All they do is start fights with each other in public. They do it in front of his own mother. They do it everywhere they go. They're both insufferable assholes, and I don't even care what they do. I just want them to leave. Leave me alone. Leave humanity.

I hate both of them as people and as a couple. Get out. Bye. Please go. Get lost. But the most horrifying thing about this whole scene is, listen, Thailand, do not be putting Reza in mesh underwear on TV. Yeah.

All right? Terrible. Terrible. Please. And then they showed his butt crack through that whole scene. And I was like, God damn it. What what is wrong with adam what is wrong with him why does adam hate himself yes adam you could do better way better adam please anyone anyone anyone um and then asa's like well how do you think your relationship's going awesome she's like oh totally stable it's great i love him

we love each other she's like yeah he annoys me. It's great. I love him. We love each other. She's like, yeah, he annoys me, but you know what? I love him. I can't see myself with anyone else. And then I wrote again Reza's ass and Bobby's face. That's what I wrote down ten times today. Because that whole scene, it kept switching between Bobby's

face and Reza's ass, and I couldn't decide which one gave me the biggest opposite of a boner. Yeah, they're like two points on the same anti-boner spectrum. It's like going from red to blue. It's still all in the same rainbow. My boner is poking my spine.

It's so far inward. Please stop these images, alright? My spine is gonna choke. Stop it. No, I... The whole sequence was terrible. I mean... And I feel bad for Asifa. I'm sorry. I keep ping-ponging back and forth between who I like least

because Asifa is one of those awful girls who pokes and prods and says little things and starts a fight. Not that Bobby doesn't, but she does. And then afterwards, like, but I can't see myself with anyone else. Like, yeah, I'm right. You can't see yourself with anyone else because no one else will take you. Like, no one else will accept this behavior except other people like Bobby. The only people that we've seen Asifa speak to on this show,

other than cast members who don't have visible hatred for her on their face, are the hairdressers that she pays to laugh at everything she does. Yeah, the glam squad. That's a bad sign, Asifo. She's an instigator, and he's also... I mean, they both instigate each other. They're the same. They're the exact same person.

You know he brings up shit from the past all the time, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then he makes a checklist, like, I'll marry you when you can learn to change to be with me and also if you do it yeah he said i'll change if you change but i just have to change a little you have to change a mountain of stuff yeah and they're dumb because you should realize that you're not you're not supposed to change someone in a relationship okay yeah i can't

even with these two anymore i'm done talking about talking about them. Well, you have to talk about them some more, because then what happens next is they're all, like, hanging out. Reza and Bobby are, like, chilling. And so then the girls who had been out at the pool and were wondering where Bobby was, they came in. They find Reza and Bobby. And, of course, Asif's like, babe, babe, where were you? We were looking for you.

Why were you, like, hanging out here talking? Were you talking about me? And he's like, yeah, kind of, a little bit. He's like, why? And then they start to fight, and then they start to bicker. And then, Bobby decides he wants to, like, he wants to put it all out on the table. And she's like, can we do it in private?

This is a sensitive subject. I want to talk in talk in private oh now you want to talk in private like you do not get to pull that card i'm sorry you lost the privacy no i don't care like everybody else fucking wants to hear your bullshit um but right before he came back in i just love that also got her in a happy loving mood to love him and then reza got the guy in a hateful mood yeah there's no way this is gonna work out tells you everything you need to know about this and then reza got the guy in a hateful mood yeah there's no way this is gonna work out tells you everything you need to know about this show and reza actually had the nerve to say this he's he was this is part of bobby's advice when he's like dumper dumper he says what would your life be like with somebody who actually loved and adored you oh really like adam what's

your life like yeah you're you're at a fucking honeymoon trip that's no longer or you're on a wedding trip that's no longer a wedding because you were an ass it's like you had one and you totally treated him like shit please stop giving advice please jesus says the fucking guy on a vacation that's supposed to be for his wedding well then what's what's hilarious is as like as asafa and bobby go storming out, because Bobby is like, it's over. So then Asifa is like, they're like, everyone who's left in the room is like, oh, my God, oh, my God. And Asifa is like, this isn't right. Like, we should be focused on poor Reza.

I'm like, oh, yes, poor Reza. Poor Reza, who is loving all this drama, is not sad at all about Adam, except for a few token phrases he's thrown out to make people think he's sad. I was like, Asa, just be quiet. And also Reza, who was just sitting with this guy all day long saying, dump the bitch, dump the bitch over and over again. Oh, poor Reza. Poor Reza doesn't want to hear this anymore. Meanwhile, Shervin goes and finds Asifa. And Shervin's like, well, do you like it?

You like Bobby, right? You like Bobby. So, like, you think that there's a good in Bobby. And Asifa's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, well, so then how about you focus on the good qualities rather than the negative qualities? And she's like, oh. Oh, yeah. What a weird.

What an interesting thought. Like, Shervin voice. And then Reza leaves the table, too. He's like, I gotta get up and go, too no that wasn't about me this is about you and then he leaves and then we get to see him and also cry about how poor reza oh my god well no well well the thing is that that was like a whole different dinner party because that's that was at that was afterwards after this fight when do these people have my fitness pal how are they eating in every single scene that's the that was the scene at the dinner party scene was the scene where mj was wearing

literally a doily that hadn't stretched around her body thailand's like i'm sorry we love the fat girl dressed like a whore because she'll do well here otherwise you guys have to leave because we're at a restaurant for you to film in sorry yeah the thailand city council has asked you to leave bye yeah um and i also loved by the way when bobby changed his room after this big bluff like he changed his room and asfa literally is like you changed your room like be a man what it's like why are you you're constantly emasculating this guy. Like, anything he does is, like, not manly suddenly. Oh, we get a little scene. We got a couple little scenes in here that were funny. Gigi talking about how she really likes this guy that she's dating,

and she can't understand it because he doesn't have cats. But he has a truck, and that's badass. No, it's not. And also, he's an asshole for having a giant truck in L.A. where the parking spaces are tiny. And I'll bet he takes up two spaces at Ross Dress for Less. So, fuck your boyfriend, too. And then she's like, he's weird. He says things to me like, make love.

He's, like, nice to me. Yeah, she's like, gross. I'm not turned on by passion. It's disgusting. I mean, I even wrote shit on my back for people to read while they fuck me. So, they're not passionate. It's like the ingredients list of Fro even wrote shit on my back for people to read while they fuck me so they're not passionate it's like the ingredients list of fruit loops on my back so i don't have to listen to them say anything passionate yeah and then gross and then meanwhile somewhere in the midst of all of this someone probably asa maybe reza was like let's ride an elephant in adam's honor like like you you know, clearly this is such, like, damage control.

Like, no, you just want to ride an elephant, which is fine. You should ride an elephant. And you know that Adam would want to ride it. You're not going to ride it in his honor. You just want to say that so people aren't, like, mean to you. The whole problem is that Adam won't ride an elephant at home. Why do you think he's going to be touched by this? Yeah, exactly.

Oh, fine, you rode that elephant. Yeah um he's not going to be happy about that um and then we get a shot of all of them raiding the first class lounge on yeah this is asiana airlines which by the way is going to get zero business from anybody who's watched his show because i'm not going on air any airline that would let that people let those people on you know that Malaysia air is kind of like well this is fucking bullshit like we lose two planes and they're the ones that get the shots like like we're the ones losing business and they're like Jesus actually they should be happy they should be like finally finally there's any time for a plane to get lost yeah um let me see here so they get this thing where they're so wasted that gg is like rolling around on the ground and showing like pulling down her pants and showing her thong to the camera and

we're basically seeing a reenactment of the night and i cannot wait to see who she accuses of mentally raping her after this especially when they showed also or not also reza putting his toe in her butt crack because you know there's like an almost rape charge coming up. I know. Too much passion for Gigi. Next season. What friend lets their toe try and fuck their other friend when they're drunk

in a first class lounge? I'm going to take a lie detector test. I want your toe to apologize for forgetting that he tried to fuck me in the first class lounge. We all know that a toe is supposed to go to market. Okay? Not my ass. Where do those toes go?

Then we get back to, okay, what do you want to guess? Is it eating or is it Asafo and Bobby fighting? It's all of the above. Both at the same time. and then they finally get some private time and she's like what he said babe we've got to work on our relationship and she's like what i mean what do we need to work on are you going to support me if i quit my job are you going to support me it's like what how do those two equal? What are you talking about? He's not talking about that.

He's like, we need to work on a relationship. He's like, I'm just going to quit my job. Let's keep this on track. Yeah. You guys are stupid enough to fight about real things without bringing up your resume. I don't even get these two. Hey, you made a pun. Resume.

Can we just pretend that they're not on this show anymore? Are they in it? Can Bravo just drop them? Whoever cast them should actually be fired from reality TV. Yeah, that's a pretty bad casting decision. Terrible. These two, I just wrote, why does everybody on this show always try and break each other up? I can't believe no one's tried

to break up MJ and her boyfriend yet. Give it time. Give it time. They're next. But yeah, everybody's advice to each other is dump your boyfriend or girlfriend. Yeah. Or Reza. Okay, I wrote poor Reza again. So what

happened here? People leave the dinner one by one. Poor Reza. I feel a whiff of sadness. I couldn't even keep my pain inside. Yeah. Well, noza again so what happened here people leave the dinner one by one poor reza yeah well no i think what happened was that also was like guys i'm sorry i have to leave i'm just feeling like a like a wave of sadness and i just have to leave and like console myself with diamond water and then reza's like shit she can't be sadder than me because i'm the one who technically did not bring my fiance so he's like like, hey, that's so Persian. I also feel a wall of sadness. It's like the tsunami came back in, but the tsunami was made of sadness.

I'm going to my bedroom. I'm going to watch that movie about the tsunami, but it's going to be me played by that lady from The Ring. My memory is too bad to make movie jokes. You remember every movie every movie and every star that's ever been in it and i'm like hey that girl who's friends with nicole kidman from australia is also in that movie about a tsunami naomi watts like naomi what's the deal with tsunamis do you know how many people lost their underwear in the tsunami

adam would have such a boner here i can't believe i didn't bring him um yeah at least at the end reza kind of brought it back around to adam and not just himself when he was saying you know my boyfriend's at home crying and here i am you know in a you know in the place we were supposed to get married at least he added that in there because that's kind of the first time he's acknowledged that it's his own fucking fault that all this is happening. I can't feel sorry for him. That guy's awful. Adam, run, Adam. Run.

Run. All right. Well, why don't fat hairy guys in L.A., boy? Yeah. Speaking of fat hairy guys, why don't we move on to the Real Housewives of Melbourne Reunion Part 1 Adam I'd love to do nothing but sit around and watch internet porn

And not have sex with you all day I'm down call me Alright Real Housewives of Melbourne It's the reunion hosted once again By Alex Perry with sunglasses on his head And who knows what on his face And even more facial surgery this year Jesus Christ he's got temple veins Like Kyle Richards man sunglasses on his head and who knows what on his face and even more facial surgery this year jesus

christ he's got temple veins like kyle richards man oh reel it in yeah this poor guy that guy looks like a horror show men stop it okay stop it we've come to accept women doing it because now they're just look they're all from a different race of people and we understand men it still does not look right. Okay. Yeah. Sorry that it's unfair. And also, if you're going to get your face done five times, why are you skipping the nose?

Yeah. It's like he's only worried about temple veins. He's like, listen, I want you to do my temple veins. I want them to be giant and bulging and scary because they need to hold up the glasses. I'm never taking them off. He looks like he actually just came from the set of mad max fury road he's like one of the strange extras with weird like tumors all over his body and strange veins like listen i don't like talk about feminism i'm part of the man's rights group

now we're not talking about feminism anymore damn with feminism i'm boycotting i'm boycotting mad max fury road because there weren't there weren't enough men saving the day or sunglasses on people's heads so this episode reunion part one for those of you who aren't following Real Housewives of Melbourne

has stolen a page from the Bravo book or maybe they did they didn't have a reunion last year where they're showing the backstage stuff first and all the ladies arriving. And the big news here is Gamble Without Makeup. Still cute. Yeah.

You know, sometimes I put on the makeup and sometimes I just say, you know, maybe I'm born with it, maybe I'm Maybelline's. Maybe he's born with it, maybe he just had enough beauty to find a man who worked hard enough to have enough to pay for her to get it oh is it beautiful wolf pop and then we cut to lydia who is sitting in the makeup chair lydia is the unofficial narrator of this show and explains shit that no one needs explanations for like you know the reunion is the

time where we all get together and we talk about things that happen during the year so here we are getting together and we're gonna talk and maybe there will be fighting it's like we know what this is all right shut up get your makeup on girl please be quiet um she's very dumb so then jackie i'm psychic so i'm picking up the other ladies energies i'm picking up their nerves everyone's really nervous i feel it the angels are telling me they also tried to tell me some lottery numbers but i said no i'm not I've got morals, angels, all right? Get out of here. I always got to say what's on my mind. I always have to say what's on my mind,

unless I'm gambling, in which case it's irresponsible for me as a psychic to say what's on my mind, because I know. I know the outcome. I can tell you who's going to win the reunion, but it would be irresponsible of me in case anybody's gambling on it.

Gamble. Gamble. Gamble. Janet. And Janet getting ready. She's like, I'm so sick of the rumor. I'm sick of talking about the rumor. But I can't wait to talk about the rumor. Because somebody else here

was the one who told me about the rumor. Like Janet's big thing after all of this time coming back to the reunion is to bring up the things she doesn't want to bring up anymore. And now drag somebody else into it. Yeah. She's like, Alex Perry told me about the rumor. He was at the sex party.

Alex Perry. Perry Flores. I'm very nervous. I have nerves because Gina is going to bully me. I feel it coming. And then Alex's face. Yeah. That face of Alex.

I just wrote Alex's face a few times. He is improving on Andy's opening thing where Andy's like, Hi. Hi, Tamara. Hi, Gretchen. Hi, Vicky. He's doing the hi thing, but he like at least saying more stuff you know like hi there jamie are you gonna spill the tea i mean look i've had more facial surgery than your son

no one's made a tea after me do you have a periwinkle tea darling better it's better yeah it's like um chica chica you're no longer such a fence sitter you sort of slid off the fence a little bit she's like oh i guess i rather did i guess i rather did but everyone thought i was on the fence but it's a lovely fence i love the fence listen i don't sit on fences i i normally find fences to be uncomfortable you know because they go right in the middle of your butt cheeks but i will sit on a fence if it's part of a new friend's remodel. Because if a friend has remodeled their fence, it's most likely motorized

to something gorgeous and exciting. And I'd love to come to the house to compliment it anytime I can. I just love it. I love this fence. I love what they've done there. It's very cheeky. I love it.

What a lovely fence. I wish I could sit on it. I wish I could sit on it. I wish I could sit on it. It looks just so lovely. I have seven fences. I have seven fences for you to sit on. I created the fence.

I was the one who invented fences. Yes, it's true. When I was young, I never had a fence, but now I have a fence. I had to work for it. When I was a child

in the town that I grew up in, there were dogs dying all over the city because no one had a fence. And then I invented them. So you're welcome, dogs, for living. I switched the bitch fence. Let's see here.

These women came ready to fight. They were fighting over the dumbest little, especially Lydia. Lydia came. fight they were fighting over the dumbest little especially lydia lydia came i like that alex perry kind of knows what they want to talk about like he'll he'll ask the questions they want but then put like a country lean on them which i really like he's like lydia so lydia you know this season you've kind of fallen into the background first of all lydia was never in the foreground lydia's always been the dumb one who doesn't know any English. She's always been that one. She was always in the background.

But she's like, look, you know, sometimes it's really important because after last season, I just got attacked on the social media by some long-faced people behind a computer. It was really mean. So this year, I had to come on and be nicer i like that they're so honest that twitter shapes a housewives personality because that's basically true and she's the first person who's ever said it out loud so right thank you for the honesty lydia and by the way lydia's son is the one who got arrested for basically cyber bullying and like i think posting revenge porn or something like that so So she should, uh, she should be quiet before she starts like lashing out at people on the

internet, making, being mean to others. Well, yeah, I mean, she's being bullied. Like,

if you think about it, she's complaining about being bullied after she was a bully. So I don't think it works like that. Sorry. Like people are like, I thought you were supposed to be tolerant. Why do you hate racists? Um, all right. God, I've got so many notes. We don Why do you hate racists? Alright.

God, I've got so many notes. We don't need to talk about all of this. Petty Flora switched the bitch necklace. Oh my god. Omarosa is going to sue that necklace too. She's going to be like, I want the book royalties and I want whatever that necklace costs. She certainly will.

She will go right after that. As she should. Although, I mean, Omarosa, you should know better. Just stay away from that necklace. It's just a tacky piece of shit. It's not right after that. As she should. Although, I mean, Amorosa, you should know better. Just stay away from that necklace. It's just a tacky piece of shit. It's not on a boardwalk of any beach. I love that. Yeah, they both stole the title from some necklace on Venice Beach.

I really like that Lydia was, like, taking a backseat because of all the whiplash after last year. Oh, God. Or backlash. She said whiplash. last year. Oh, God. Or backlash. She said whiplash. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah. It's called after all the backlash from last year. It's the whiplash. My neck really hurt after the season last year. Jesus. Negative, blah, blah. Gina's people are mean. Chica, I don't sit on fences.

Blah, blah, blah. Gam Cheek I don't sit on fences Blah blah blah Gamble death Gamble death My ears got hot So I can't hear things very well So all I have to My only way to hear things is I have to read The hands of Wolfie Wolfie

Wolfie Wolfie G Wolfie! Wolfie gives me sign language and he also reads signs for me because being deaf made it so it was really hard to read things. I was walking into the street, it stopped signs until Whoopi told me

no, it says stop, my peach. Peach. Damn it, now peach is in my head. Wolfie is my miracle worker. Here's what he does is he puts his hands in my hands and he makes the symbols. And then I know if I can cross the street or not. Well, she's going on about her deafness. I'm sorry I'm laughing at that. It's just that she's so obviously about her deafness. I'm sorry.

I'm laughing at that. It's just that she's so obviously not deaf. Yeah. Sorry. Being deaf is not why you don't know words because now you can say feminism. So whatever. I'll never understand that. But I like Gamble.

So I'm going to leave her alone. But I love during her monologue about going deaf and like sad music is playing. They show Jackie's face and jackie's had something done to her face it looks really weird and she squashes her face like she looks like she's disgusted but she's trying to give sympathy but the face she gives she looks like ew gross and i just love it like i love when you have a new face that hasn't had a time to get worn in yet it's like a it's like boots all right you need to buy those boots a couple months before you actually have to wear them so yeah yeah exactly uh yeah jackie sort of looks like someone's been strangling her and her face has gotten like

sort of like puffed up um i think around this time is when gamble talked about what she eats on a daily basis right when she was like well for breakfast i have um a cup of an espresso and then for lunch i have a slice of tomato and then for dinner i have you know just not not rice and not bread and that's it i love that my cat my life motto is the calorie count. Okay. And then he said, well, how many calories do you have a day? And she said, around 1,500. Which there's no way. And they said, well, I thought you said you had that in a day.

She's like, well, I can't do that every day. 500. Some days 500, some days 1,500. And that's called a real diet, all right? So first real diet I've heard about on one of these shows. Just don't eat. Yeah, exactly. So now's the clip where they're showing about the Gina and Gamble love affair

and how they were friends. And now they're so close that even Gamble has Gina's same evil chuckle when they're in the car together. They're both like... And single white female. And she's like... I don't want to be called a single white female i mean i'm white and i'm female but i don't want to be single it's like they're calling me jobless

i have a job his name is wolfie how could i even say i'm single when I have wolf paw? So they keep showing Petaflora, who said at the opening of this that she's really scared because everybody's going to bully her. And I'm freaking out. And every time they cut to Petaflora, she's visibly shaking, and she keeps

rubbing her nose. Have you noticed that she keeps sniffling and rubbing her nose with her thumbnail? I don't know what that's about, but some of us would call that a coke habit. Some of us whose previous diets include coke habits

might call you out on that. I won't accuse you of anything. Yeah, I did not notice that, but, you know, why not? Wiped her nose. Every time they showed her, she was shaking and wiping her nose with her thumbnail. Well, that's because she's very confident, and she got that from

herself, you know? She had to get it from herself because she never had anyone to give her any sort of confidence or cocaine. Nobody ever picked their nose before me. Before, people would walk around With thick noses and couldn't breathe Do you know how many people have died of suffocation

Before I showed them how to pick their nose With this thumbnail I switched the itch Switch the bitch Switch the itch on my nose Everybody's like angry now for no reason I mean even Jiner Oh sorry Even Jiner especially Jiner everybody is like angry now for no reason to each other i mean even gina oh sorry even gina

especially gina so pedophore and interrupts this uh this lovely scene of gamble and gina's love affair by going oh you're a disgusting person. That's revolting. That language is just revolting. And I don't abide by that language. And I think that Petty Floor should really be thrown into a pit with that language. Sniffing ass. You know I don't like strippers.

Are you saying I'm into anal sass when you say sniffing ass? Or is it up an asshole? Because that's a rumor. And you're trying to slander me. You're slandering me at Wolfie. so then we get the pediflora is a bitch montage yeah and man i forgot what a bitch pedif i mean no i didn't forget but i forget all the scenes i mean literally since the first scene she's been a bitch yeah like the first the first thing you even see of her in this entire season is her just being fucking awful about everything and then making out with her son yeah yeah no petty fleur is is just uh an awful person awful little insecure person just like chirping away about all her accomplishments and not realizing how just ingratiating she is.

I mean, when she was talking about her book on this reunion, she's like, you know what? I had my 15-year-old son edit it. He did the editing on it. So that way it's raw. It's a raw book because my son edited it. That does not make it raw. That makes it unprofessional.

There's a fine line. A typo does not make something raw that makes it unprofessional there's a fine line a typo a typo does not make something raw and real yeah raw it's not like a sub category on porn hub okay it's a book people don't want to read raw books okay they want to read books that are written by professionals and edited you dummy yeah it's raw this is why i do not need book editors or publishers i like it to be raw yeah that's why i remember she's like i'm sorry oh go ahead no at one point she's like you know what i published this book selflessly for everyone oh wow yeah that's what i was just god god bless you selflessly publishing that book against almost against your will fake crying and sniffling

the coke in her nasal cavities she's like i did this for other women selflessly i gave this to this shit ain't free bitch this ain't some download pamphlet from your website you are charging for this shit on the internet okay she's like but i did it for other women look i invented self-help books it came from the heart to go by the name tony robbins you might have heard of my shut up i inspired myself i would like to inspire other women like i inspire myself i listen to myself giving self-help readings all day long while i exercise yeah and then she wants gamble to be supportive she's like well why couldn't you be supportive and it's like well you called her stupid without even knowing her i mean gamble kind of won that when gamble's like it's like i don't understand how you're

gonna have a book about empowering women when you called me stupid without even learning me and knowing me and seeing that i really am stupid. This fight was really cute, actually, because Petaflor's memory of things is so off. She's like, well, yes, I did bring up the fact that she gets money from her husband, but it was only because she was questioning

me about my money, so I'm so sorry I asked her one question. Like, no, you basically stood there in a bar and belittled her for a good 15 minutes yeah she told you to go fuck yourself and walked away and then they showed clips of that and every time it comes back to pedophilic she's like no this is not what happened all i said it's like bitch it's a video montage of you what are you arguing with yeah are you gonna argue and then also it's not me stealing from a 7-eleven it. It is me asking the 7-Eleven if I could

please have these M&Ms and then they called me a cunt and so I took them. And then in the middle of all this, Gamble, you know, there was a question like, well, what makes Gamble what makes Gamble's opinion about this? Why does her opinion matter? And she's like,

well, I used to work at a newspaper and then Lydia's like, well, what did you do at the magazine? She's like, well, I sort of kept it together? And she's like, well, I used to work at a newspaper. And then Lydia's like, well, what did you do at the magazine? She's like, well, I sort of kept it together. And Lydia's like, do not talk to me like that. Don't talk to me like that. How dare you? What a normal person. But she, I think, tell me if I'm wrong, because I really, this is just how I remember it.

Maybe I have pedophilic memory. But Gamble's like, I ran a magazine. And Lydia goes, columnist. And she's like, Hey, what? How dare you? They started fighting. And then Lydia's like,

I just innocently asked if you were a columnist. I mean, I didn't even say anything. You fucking liar. You sat there and went, columnist. He's like, what? How dare you speak to me like that? Don't yell at me like that, Missy. I won't take it.

Yeah, I like that. Like, only on this show could uttering the word columnist be used as an insult. Columnist. Oh, Lydia, how awful. Lydia has a new chin got that in profile yeah big big old chin big chin big chin and i have a big chin yeah and i have a naturally big chin and hers is real big yeah she was going for that she got the heidi montag uh old chin she's like awful it's from america

by the way she's pretty horrible lydia just wanted to fight but she's done nothing all seasons so now she's fighting over shit like this i didn't say that i asked you an innocent question you're turning her into australian reza that's so persian how dare you? That's so Persian. That's so Bogan. Meanwhile, Gina was a little bit, like, testy this episode. She even went after Chica for, like, no reason. She was like, oh, you're a little bit of, you're friends with everyone, which makes me think that you're friends with no one. Chica's like, well, I rather don't like that. Okay, whatever.

Yeah. She's like, Ch Okay, whatever. Yeah, right. Chica's still like, Chica, Chica, you're... Yeah, she's like, Hey, Chica, you're awfully agreeable, aren't you? And Chica's like, Well, you know, I'm just an agreeable person. Well, that makes me think you have no friends.

Well, I guess you're right. Because I'm agreeable. Chica's even agreeing about being too agreeable. Yeah. I like that Gina hurls that as an insult. I know, it's not like... Oh, yeah, Chica, you're sure agreeable, aren't you? Look at you being agreeable. Yeah. I like that Gina hurls that as an insult. I know. Oh, yeah, Chica, you're sure agreeable, aren't you? Look at you being agreeable over there. Everything that people say, you're agreeable and nice about it.

Why, good for you. Oh, look at Chica agreeing. Yeah, like, what's wrong with that? Like, you know, I love me some Gina, but, like, I don't understand what her beef was with Chica being agreeable. Like, oh, look at you. You got manners.

That's real good we're gonna call you missy manners i'm thinking it just comes well first we know that there's huge problems already because chica wrote her little i shouldn't say her little blog like it's no big deal i didn't mean it like that but chica wrote some blog about the reunion experience like a bravo blog and uh i think i read some of it at one point but she was saying uh nice things kind of about everybody but she doesn't really have anything nice to say about gina ever and that buzzfeed thing they did where they have to say one word about every housewife she didn't even have something nice for her to say about them yeah so we've known that she chica's pretty pissed off but

i think that uh gina doesn't like her because you know gina gets in trouble for speaking her mind and gina or chica never speaks her mind she never gets to say anything that's true unless it's about she stole our names i'm not comfortable with her trying to sell books with your shoes with my name on them well chica did say something because she did try to call out gina she was like you're never accountable you're never accountable you know what like we all all said that we like Lydia's remodel and you never said anything about it. You have to be accountable for that. But she's right. I mean, I love, you know, but she there are some times when she needs to be a little bit more accountable than she is for sure.

Well, I love Gina because she's a bitch. So, like, I'm not mad at her for being a bitch because I don't think she's hateful. I think she's just funny and people can't take it. Yeah. And usually that's where I am. But yeah, she definitely came to this one just trying to start a fight with everybody. She sort of didn't make sense.

There was one point where she and Jackie started to get mad at each other. And Gina told this whole convoluted story. She's like, well, you see, I was at this party and then my partner was there. And so was Pettyfell's partner. They know each other. And then Jackie was afraid

because, you know, back then there was a threat and then she didn't want to be protected then there was like you know dilated peoples and everything like that and so there's a bogan and running around and we went upstairs did you do and you know there was a balcony and stay on the balcony and she wanted to get the balcony the doors locked and I couldn't get away and there was a ghost and there's one to land and you know that's what happens like what it turned out she was just trying to help me by locking me outside because I was on balcony number five and the other guy was on balcony number four and he could have gotten me she thought it was a balcony number four Gina was just trying to help me by locking me outside because I was on balcony number five. And the other guy was on balcony number four and he could have gotten me. She thought it was a balcony number four.

Gina was just trying to help me at the end of the day. It's like, what are you two fighting or not? What do you think? And Jackie's like, I love Gina. I think she's great. But sometimes I want to punch her in the cunt. And then they show Gina and she's like, I love Jackie. She's wonderful.

And they show them fighting again. Yeah, that story was weird so that was about pedoflora's party right and they were both there and gina was sticking up for jackie she's like well you know there was a problem you know the whole problem really stemmed from the fact that my partner was there and jackie's partner was there and they we didn't put them on camera because no one would understand who they are but then they started fighting and threatening each other well i mean what was it there was some threat and then jackie was scared of a threat and then i don't even know what happened i rewound it

twice also because it was just fun to watch them say how much they liked each other and then call each other cuts yeah exactly but then my favorite part of the reunion was at the end when they were – I don't even remember Petty Fleur's story, but she was recalling some issue that she had with Gina. And Jackie was there and Janet was there. And all I know is that Petty Fleur accused Gina of doing something. Maybe you can fill in – and I watched this literally an hour and a half ago, and I still can't remember the details of this story. They were doing some... Promotional.

They were somewhere. I thought it was a TV appearance, but they were somewhere. And Petty Fleur is saying... And Alex asked her, and she's like, well, you know, I'm very embarrassed about this. It's an embarrassing story, but Gina was fighting with somebody and

I got dragged into it and all the ladies are just laughing and pointing at her yeah like hysterical like tears coming out of their eyes as Petty Fleur tells this ridiculous story and then Janet's like first of all you were fighting with me darling

right that's what we were fighting because you told Gina she wasn't even a lawyer. I never said this. This I never said. Like, darling, how do you even remember you were drunk? And she's like, that's it! How dare you! How dare you accuse me of drinking! I do not drink!

No more than two drinks at a time. No more! No more. I do not get drunk. You know that drinking two drinks is still drinking, right? Listen, we just watched Dr. Phil, okay? She never said how big the containers were. All right?

I had two inches of drinks. Me and Kim Richards. She didn't get drunk. And then she, of course, not acting like an out-of-control drunk who's been on coke all day, you know, as she has been. like an out-of-control drunk who's been on coke all day, you know, as she has been. She gets up and starts acting like a cokehead who's been drunk all day and screaming and yelling and storming off the set. And the ladies just laugh and laugh.

They just continue to laugh. I love these ladies. I want them to be every... I wish every Real Housewives show could just be these ladies in different cities. It'd be like next week. It's the Real Housewives of New York, but it's still them, just in a different way.

Because it's kind of amazing, because Jackie and Gina were just yelling at each other, calling each other cunts. And then, like, seconds later, Petty Fleur starts with a story, and Jackie's like, that's not what happened. Gina didn't do that. Like, she comes immediately to the defense of Gina.

And then, like, they just are all, they just, they're like, there's one thing these women can agree on, is that Petty Fleur is full of shit, and they don't care. And once Petty Fleur comes for them, they they just are all, they just, they're like, there's one thing these women can agree on is that Petty Fleur is full of shit and they don't care. And once Petty Fleur comes for them, they all just band together and just shoo her out of the room. Well, while she was crying, when she was crying and doing her whole, I wrote this for other women so that they could be like me. She's like fake crying and Janet is laughing her. No, no. That's like a noise.

She's like, she's full of shit janet goes there's no tears even coming out she's not crying it's all bullshit i don't even know how to sit here it's awkward to even sit here and listen to it i know petty floor is so stupid right and you know and her book you know, it was like three episodes into the season when she was talking about like the parts of her book that she'd outlined and like where she'd written part of it. And then by like four episodes later, she had published it. I'm like, this is not a book that was written to help people. This is a book that you just like rushed out onto market. It's like taking one of our blog posts and deciding to self-publish it and dump lots of money into it and then be righteous about it.

And there's like two pages in that book. I mean, the Cheesecake Factory menu is longer than that book. Yeah. And bigger. Oh, and then she read an excerpt from it. Oh, God. Oh, she read the intro, didn't she? Yeah.

Yeah, an excerpt of the intro. Dear women, hello. I pettiflor do you think i'm better than you it is because i am but you can maybe try to be better and more like me like this book is terrible what are you doing my son edited it i know i couldn't believe my 15 year old son edited i mean and the funny thing is on Amazon, all the reviews are about all the grammatical errors and typos. These are his mocks. This is the one you just bought an $8,000 suit for

because he's getting fired soon. Like, here you are, your first suit for data entry. He's, like, getting it all wrong. I loved the Jackie and Gina fight, too, because not only do they love each other but then i loved when jackie turned it all uh political and started standing up for the working man she's like when you called me a bogan i mean that was awful you're basically making fun of working class people so you make fun of me because i'm working class what a horrible thing to do to the working class people so you made fun of me because i'm working class what a horrible thing to do to the

working class people of australia people who listen who watch this show the demographic i hope you're all happy now this is who you like gina gina's defense is i wasn't calling all all of australians bogans i was i wasn't calling bogans bogans i was calling you a bogan yeah who cares if you offend a bogan they're awful women they're slow used up awful women whatever she said well it's funny because it's like calling someone white trash and having that person be like i can't believe you would say that that's so offensive to the workers of the world that you would call them white trash like no we're not not calling the workers the middle class white trash. Calling you white trash, you stupid idiot. You stupid bogan.

Bogan, you're offensive to porn people. And then Gina's like, well, you know how this all started. She told me, you're worn. Oh, God. Jackie told her, you're worn up. So funny. So then it becomes a fight over whether or not Gina is a legal aid lawyer or not. Why can nobody figure out what kind of lawyer Gina is?

Isn't it on a website someplace? Like, how do people even know if they're going to hire Gina or not? And why does it even matter, by the way? His woman will find any sort of thing to debate. I hear that you have more flats than you have high heels. No, how do you know that? I never said that. I've just heard it.

People talk about it. But I don't have flats at all. Yes, you do. It's like, who cares? I hear you're a legal aid, not a prosecutor. I'm a prosecutor. No, I hear you said you're a legal aid. No, I mentioned the word legal aid.

No, you didn't. You mentioned the word lemonade, not legal aid. What? legal aid no i mentioned the word legal aid no you didn't you mentioned the word lemonade not legal aid what so chica what did you think of what did you think of the book switch the bitch she's like well at first i couldn't understand why she would be calling women bitches but then i read the book and i thought wow how wonderful she's calling women bitches so now i totally agree and gina's gina's like pussy i love this show what did she say to her she like started getting on her for complimenting someone so now anytime chica says anything nice gina's like uh shut up no one buys it don't shut up your fence sitting bogan uh let's see i publish magazines we've already been over that we've already been over the gina

set how much more happened in this oh i've only got a few more notes that means we're almost at the end of it uh innocently fight i don't even know what i'm saying i don't even know what the point is in me writing all these notes i can't goddamn read them um yeah i just i think the last thing i wrote was uh the lawyer thing before the drunken tirade but i love that drunken tirade i hope that they have half the show next week dedicated to lydia trying to talk her into it yeah they show clips and lydia's like you've got to be a big girl and come back to the set what are little girls across India going to think when they see you acting like this? You need to selflessly come back to the set

so you can instruct women. Yeah, cut to the other women. They're like, what a cunt! Laughing over and over again. Jesus. So funny. Love this show. I know.

I'm so sad. Only one more episode left. But then we have all sorts of good stuff premiering very soon because Shaz is ending next week. Well, season finale then, reunions. This show has, it looks like we have one more episode of this show. And then we

transition into Orange County and Married to Medicine and that new show about women that's not a housewife show, but it's a Housewives show. Secrets and Wives. Secrets and Wives. Which is funny, because I just re-watched Secrets and Lies over the weekend.

How about that? That's fun. You know what I call a show about Secrets and Wives? I think it should be called Secrets and Lies. Oh, that's the pun. I didn't realize that. I just want them to bring andrea i know just bring her out for five minutes i was thinking that i'm like by this time like i feel like she should be well

on the way to divorce soon and then once she's divorced then she'll come back on the show because you know it's her husband who's clearly being like get off this show right now you're killing my business, darling. But he probably is already so upset. He's probably already so upset with her that like they're well on their way to divorce and then she'll come back and be awful. Yeah. So we're well, we're on the way. I said I was going to say well on the way.

I just say everything that I just heard. I'm just a repeater. But yeah, we're this is the calm before the storm because we're light on shows this week. But next week is going to be another lunch. Yes. What's up, Candy's ski trip? Yeah, I am. Candy, I had to walk from the hallway bathroom to the kitchen.

Have some respect, Candy. That is wrong. I was actually upset when I got home and found out that there was no Candy's ski trip. I know, me too. But I figured that was what was going to happen. I wanted to see those old ladies get mad about something. You ruined my week. See?

See? Stupid Hogan. See? Now. Memorial Day. See? Now. Three reruns with Riley.

See? Now. Riley with Riley. See? Riley. Alright, wrap it up, Ben. Alright, Donny, this is enough. Enough of these strange little noises I'm making. So if you've made it to this part of the podcast, congratulations. We are so happy.

Don't forget to buy a mattress, and we are at facebook.com forward slash watchworkrappins. You And we are at facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends. You can support us, patreon.com forward slash watch what crap ends. And if you support us, you get access to a bonus episode. And this week, again, is about Mad Max, the feminist controversy surrounding Mad Max, the Duggars, and us getting on our soapbox about hypocrisy in that clan. It's actually more fun than it sounds.

So thank you all for listening. Find us on social media at WatchWhatPrappens.com. And guess what? We will be back on Thursday to discuss Real Housewives of New York and the Southern Charm season finale. Thanks, everyone. Bye. Bye, everyone.

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