Watch What Crappens - #190: Riley's First Stand

Episode Date: June 3, 2015

Ben Mandelker (Banter Blender) and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) are back to laugh about the final Real Housewives of Melbourne (We?re freaking out, beeches!) and another episode of Kandi?s Ski Trip. Haven?t had your fill of cancer? Don?t worry! We talk Blood Sweat and Heels, too! Come on in! Subscribe at www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie on the Web: www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: @watch-what-crappens On iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch?id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and as usual, I'm with the gorgeous and talented Ben Mandelker from the B-Side blog and the Banter Blender. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie.

Sorry for the drilling in the background. There's some construction outside, and there's nothing I can do about it except to go out there and yell like an old lady. Well, that's all right. Hopefully our microphones are even today. Been working on that all right, everybody. So who cares about the drilling, you know? Yes, who cares about the drilling? This is a professional podcast,

and we will carry on like the professionals we are. So, everybody, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crappens. That's where other listeners get together to talk shit with us during the week. We have live show threads. Well, usually they're live. Sometimes I

forget. But come talk about the shows the night they air and meet other listeners. We shall have a good time there. And we are also on patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's where you guys can subscribe to us. This podcast will remain free

twice a week. But if you want bonus podcasts, they're over on patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. There's ringtones, there's monthly Google hangouts, etc. etc. etc. I was just about to say, our bonus episode

today, we talked about Caitlyn Jenner, and we talked about various other random stuff. What was trending on Twitter? I mentioned the things that hurt my feelings. All the good stuff. Game etiquette? Game etiquette?

It's not really game etiquette. It's more like how to politely reject me without hurting my feelings. Oh, Ben! No, Ronnie! No, it's a fun it's fun bonus episode as always and um i want to thank everyone by the way for we said last week we wanted to make a mission to have chrissy teigen come on the podcast and i'm happy to report that chrissy teigen is not responding to any of our tweets so So that's very exciting. Yeah, that is very exciting. We continue to be ignored.

I don't think she's going to come on. No, I don't think so. She's like, who are these weirdos? I know. You know what? It's one thing if we're like a thousand people tweeting at her or creating an online petition, like getting Betty White on SNL. But it's basically only like 20 of us tweeting at her, it just seems like we're just weirdos we're just a bunch of

weirdos tweeting at chrissy teigen she's like well i hope we can stop uh tweeting at uh chrissy teigen soon because i actually saw chrissy teigen i didn't really know who this woman was at first which am i allowed to say that am i allowed to shit talk chrissy teigen yet or you give me the go ahead ben she was like just about to like like hey you know what i'm gonna go on this podcast wait a second yeah um so i'm not sure maybe i should wait okay well she already knows now she's listening that i was going to but i didn't know who this person was but i was at a friend's house who was it's one of those friends who like plays everybody the tv as entertainment before you go out bad idea we're old we're getting old but he's like look at this show i like it's about lip-syncing and all these celebrities come on and then they

lip-sync against each other and he was showing us lip-sync clips or whatever yeah so this chrissy tegan chick i guess is on that show and she doesn't really say anything she's just like the dj lady have you seen this show do you know what i'm talking about uh it's like lip sync for your celebrity or something i've seen parts of it um you know uh yeah yeah it's like lip sync to be to stay a celebrity or whatever but like movie stars and stuff do it but big stars do it but, she's in the back and she's the DJ. That's her job on the show. And she just DJs. She pretends she's spinning a record during commercials.

And then she puts her hand up and waves it and stuff. And I was like, who's that bimbo? What the hell? Why do they keep showing her? She's not even really scratching a record. And they were like, oh, that's John Legend's wife. And I was like, really? All those beautiful love songs and he's been singing to a model this whole time.

Is it weird that that makes it less romantic when I hear one of his songs? Well, to be fair, she is supposed to actually be really awesome. I know that sounds ridiculous. But people I know, people I know who dance on that very show you said, people I know very well, have said that she's actually really cool. And other people say she's really cool. So I guess John Legend sees more than just beauty. I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying.

What am I talking about? I don't know. I just find romantic songs less romantic when you're talking to a model like of course you love a fucking model you're five foot tall little like come on of course you got rich and got a model right away like it would be different if it was um um wolfman what's that actor's name from australia the wolfman from X-Men? He's the wolf guy. Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman got rich and he kept his wife. Every time I see him on the red carpet with a heavy older wife, I'm like, you go, Hugh Jackman. Hey, publicist, get out of the frame. Why are you kissing Hugh Jackman, publicist? Get out of there. I want Hugh Jackman to do a cover of that beautiful John Legend song so I can find it romantic again.

All right. All right. That's enough of that. Boxy charm, guys. Boxy charm. You know what I'll bet Chrissy Teigen gets? Because whether or not I agree with romantic songs about her, I do agree that she deserves love and she deserves beauty so i hope that john legend loves her enough to get her boxy charm boxy charm is a beauty subscription box that sends you full-size

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Someone putting that on their face. Like, I've got tuna tartare on my face. BoxyCharm told me to do it. Whatever you do, Chef Penny, do not abandon your BoxyCharm. There's tuna tartare in there for your face. Chef Penny abandoned her boast, but at least it was to watch unboxing videos

of BoxyCharm on YouTube, darling. It's a forgivable offense. Darling, here's what you do, okay? You go and you steam some asparagus. You put it in a box. You send it to someone and say, put it on your face. Do it right now. BoxyCharm.

So we've got an action-packed show today here at Watch What Crappens. Lots went down this week. A lot of action. A lot of action. And maybe not, but even if it didn't, it still counts as action to us, all right? Ben, did you watch the... I mean, I know you did. I don't know why I'm asking you, but can we please start with Real Housewives of Melbourne?

I think we have to because it's our last one of the season. Oh, Real Housewives of Melbourne, I love you so. Don't leave me. Don't be an awful person like Gina. I know. I'm so sad this is going to be our last day of being able to use our accents where it makes sense. Because we'll still speak in Australian accents for the next six months. But no one will have any idea why.

Yeah, I'm really sad. Okay, is Lydia trying to speak in an American accent? Yes or no? I think she's just speaking in the language of love. She is trying to speak in an American accent. She's changing her accent. Like, she's really hardening those R's. I don't know.

I don't know why it matters, but that's the top of my notes. Well, she's tried a lot of different accents, and this is her 71th. Yes, that's right. It's in my marriage contract that I keep my husband with a boner, and he gets boners from different accents. So today I'm trying America. Mr.

Figaro only listens to American accents, so I have to speak in American accents in order to make him run. There's something about rolling over that Americans just know how to command. Let us discuss Real Housewives of Miami. I mean, Melbourne.

So we opened up today with Petit Fleur. It's the continuation from last week where Petit Fleur has stormed off the stage because I do not deal with liars. Okay, you guys. I do not like lying. You guys, you guys, if you're going to say this, I'm going to go, okay?

Because I'm not a liar, okay? You guys, you guys, okay, that is enough. I'm going to go. I'm not a liar, you guys. How dare you call me a liar? I do not drink. It's like we've seen you drink on the show, darling. Two drinks is the minimum.

Listen, lady. I only have two two i only drink two drinks okay only two drinks okay which means that i do not drink yeah a comedy club having a two drink limit doesn't mean it's not serving alcohol you fucking idiot like you can change the terminology but it's still drinking yeah yeah darling and she's like sitting in like the crew seat. She's on a folding chair. She's like, I will not go out there with liars. You know, one thing I do not deal with is liars. I do not like liars.

If I liked liars, I would actually put my book in the fiction section of Amazon. But I hate fiction. I hate it. Do you know one sort of book I never read? Fiction. Because it's all a book of lies. It's a book of lies. Have you ever heard of Shakespeare?

Biggest liar in the world. I hate him. One time my son went to school and they tried to make him do a Shakespeare play and I took him out of school. I remember the first time I read Nancy Drew and I was so shocked that such a crime could happen and that such a little girl could solve it and then I found out it was all lies because it was fiction and I felt so betrayed. Book after book of Nancy Drew lying to us. She doesn't even exist.

I cancelled Cable because of murder she wrote. Not only is it a show filled with lies because there is no author who solves mysteries but it's about an author who lies and lies on the page no double no i cannot support i cannot support anyone who just actively lies to people i'm double freaking out bitches okay so you know what i don't like i know what

i don't like is stephen king he writes his books and I thought, oh my goodness, I never thought that ghosts were real. And then I realized ghosts were real. And then at the end I found out it is just a book of fiction. That is not right, okay? I do not deal with liars who write books. Also, my next book is called Misery. Misery, bitch. So... Bitch Pet Cemetery. Misery bitch So Bitch pet cemetery

The bitch shining So stupid Okay You ever read that book People bitches So F Petaflor Petaflor was so furious about being called drunk

that she stormed off the stage where no one could find her, right behind the flat of the set. She's like, I will be right behind this flat. Do not bother me. Come on now. At least go to the dressing room or something. She's like, I'm going to storm off, but I'm going to stay an appropriate distance for them to beg for me to come back.

That was so fucking funny. And then Lydia, the pacemaker, which she's not at all, which is so funny. Because her comforting isn't comforting at all. She's like, hi there, Petty Floor. Why aren't you coming back? Oh, really? Maybe you should stop being ridiculous then. Are you supposed to be comforting me? Yeah.

She's like, switch the bitch. Switch the bitch. Petty Floor's like, what bitch switch? I cannot switch the bitch when there's no power to the bitch light. Then they cut to the other women who are just laughing their asses off that Petaflora's crying. I love these women. These women,

but these are the, this is the best housewives cast of all time. These women, they just sat on the couch openly mocking her while she was crying behind the bad set. Just laughing their asses off. Like we saw her drinking. That's Janet, by the way, if anybody couldn't tell.

Everyone in Melbourne saw her drinking! And then What's-His-Bun starts asking his questions and they start trying to tell the story again of what actually happened, which I still don't understand. I guess Pettifor said that Gina wasn't a

real barrister or whatever. Yeah. And so they're fighting about whether or not Gina's a lawyer. Yeah. And then Petit Fleur is screaming from the back. This is not true. More lies. I'm moving my chair an inch back because this is how mad I am.

More lies. I love how, like, because if Petit Fleur hasn't heard of you as a lawyer, you therefore are not a lawyer. Like, she sits there and examines, like, all the registered lawyers in Australia. And if she hasn't found your name, it's like, oh, well, sorry, you're not an actual barrister. I've never heard of you like all of the other lawyers in Australia who are famous. Like, of course you haven't heard of her. We all know that there are only 30 barristers in all of Melbourne. And, therefore, since I don't know you as one of the 30 barristers,

you are not, therefore, a real lawyer. You are not a real lawyer until your picture is on the back of a bus. Period. You are not a real lawyer until you've had sex with my son. What is an accidentess? So she's freaking out in the back the ladies are openly mocking her and then uh jackie's like oh no here's what she said she said that she wasn't a barrister and then she said that blah blah blah and gina's like oh yeah jackie tells the truth jackie tells the truth

i'm like oh now jackie tells the truth she just yeah now g Gina's suddenly standing up for Jackie's truthiness. Love it. What was Alex saying about bedside? I don't even know what these notes means. Alex said bedside. Oh, his bedside manner. Because Andy goes to the dressing rooms and he's like, hon, why did you beat her with a bullhorn?

That wasn't very nice. You want to come back now? You want some candy? You want to talk about your boobs? We wasn't very nice. You want to come back now? You want some candy? You want to talk about your boobs? We can talk about your boobs some when you come back. I'll say hi to you again if you come back. I'll say hi. But this new guy, this whatever, sunglasses on his weird face guy, doesn't do that. He's like, what are you going on about, pedofloor?

Just come back out. You know, this is tiring, all alright? I'm getting fog on my sunglasses on the top of my head because my head's tired and it's heating up. Get your fat ass back out here and let's finish this up. She's like, okay then. I will do this. Because you are not a liar.

You are telling me the truth right now. And then Tina's like, she was walking up the street screaming like a gypsy. Which, which of course is not racist to gypsies you know this show has so many double standards that was racist against the musical gypsy how dare you suggest that ethel merman was a psychopath excuse me they're called roma not gypsies i can't believe you would say that it's so racist um you know but i love this that like after all this commotion as they finally get paid floor back and everyone finally gets

their seats and everyone calms down then alex is like all right let's get back to where this all started gina did you call her a cunt it's like oh good i'm glad we got back to the pressing issue i liked it when she sat back down she's like i need some water you know who else does alcoholics that's you yeah did you call her a cunt yeah it's like like i like this is like it was like so on his mind it was like through all this you get i'm wondering like did she really call i'm doing petty floor voice but like she's still wondering the most pressing thing at this moment is not is petty floor okay is she gonna come back so like i

still want to know did you call her a cunt these women do not even apologize they just keep laughing at her while she's sitting back down janet's like i don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth i mean i don't even believe she's crying i don't even believe her name is pedofloor i don't even believe she's wearing a dress she just told us and she brainwashed into thinking it oh janet how awful janet what an awful person say she's not crying she's uh by the way gina's response was like no i don't remember calling her see what i think i called her a pitch guy what is a pitch guy another word for it's like russian cunt or no, I don't remember calling her a C-word. I think I called her a pichka. What is a pichka?

Another word for cunt? It's like Russian cunt or what? Yeah. I don't know. Apparently it's like an R. It's probably a Bogan word. Bogan word for cunt. And look, I didn't dig my nails into her arm. I just squeezed her arm and told her not to fuck with me, cunt.

Okay. We got it. All I said was, you cunt fuck with me, all right? And then she misinterpreted that. It was just a joke, and I said cunt, not cunt. I don't know what the problem is. Look, the problem is she's Puerto Rican. If she knew proper English,

she'd know the difference between cunt and cunt. It's just how it is. The problem is that I'd had a bad shrimp belly, and I got hand tetanus as a result of it. So when I grabbed her arm Suddenly I got lockjaw but it was in my fingers So my fingers dug into her So that's what happened

I got finger lockjaw Alex does not give Petit Fleur a break He's like so Petit Fleur You know what would be lovely to talk about Racism He's like don't go there. Don't go there.

She's like, don't go there. Please do not go there. And if you have to ask a question, then you must. But please do not go there. Do not go there. Go on. Ask your question if you must. Ask it.

Are you going to ask what the reason is? Because I thought it was racist. But don't go there. Don't go there. So then we get a clip montage of this horrible racism. First, we cut to the cops bashing black people in Baltimore and then it's off to pediflora being told she has an accent the best part of this was still Lydia's you know she's Thai she's Mexican she's black she's Puerto Rican I mean she's a real mongrel of a woman that's a real mongrel that was that there

was the most racist thing i mean uh i can understand gina gina making fun of petty flir's accent is insensitive and it's mean but i don't think it's actually racist but i think that uh i think that lydia calling her a mongrel actually is racist because you're sort of saying you are a lesser person because you are these things. And they are like Gina's just making fun of her accent the way we do, which is because she the things she says are so ridiculous. And that's just the way she talks. Yeah, exactly. I can't make fun of you in a different accent.

It would be racist to whoever's accent I was using. All right. Yeah, I think the only time when Gina crosses the line, perhaps, is that that when petty fleur says that she's worked hard to get rid of her accent and then gina says well you didn't do a good enough job you know then that's i don't i still don't even think that's racist i think that's just like a mean thing a mean asshole thing to say to someone to make them feel to belittle someone for something that they kind of can't help but it's not actually racist if that makes sense oh yeah um well we we watch this big racism clip which there's really not any racism and then pedoflora is like wiping her eyes

like she just watched 12 years a freaking out bitch 12 years of freaking out bitch 12 years of a freaking out switching bitch you know what I switched the bitch because I wasn't a slave then I switched the bitch and became a slave for 12 years the colored bitch um so then he's like I know why the kids bitch things.

Bitch loops. They're bitches who are watching God. Okay, so then Alex tries to bring it back around to racism. And she's like, I'm not letting this, I'm not letting black literature go. Okay, I'm not letting this, I'm not letting black literature go. Okay. I'm going to go through it.

The grapes of bitch. That's not a racist thing. Why did I say the grapes? That one, that one was fine. Romeo and bitch. They're like, not even races at all.

Okay. I'm getting loopy now so alex is like yeah but it was difficult wasn't it for you baby fluke is growing up you know she's like yes growing up was difficult because even when i grew up you know in india i was mixed race and it is very difficult for people of mixed race because we don't belong anywhere. And people can be mixed race to all of us. And he's like, yeah, mixed race too. I'm also a faggot, you know? I mean, somehow that gets me in more trouble.

But all right, go on then. Like, shut up, mixed race. Who's not mixed race? Well, I mean, I actually did sort of understand that. I mean, I get it. If she was, I actually believe her when she said she was made fun of as a child in Sri Lanka for not being like purely Sri Lankan. I get that. But I think then bring it into like, into this context, like I don't fit in, I don't fit in.

I don't know. It feels like she took something very real and then she's exploiting it for her own benefit in this show. So, Pitya, I'm going to give you a point, then I'm going to take it away. Point gone. Point is gone, bitches. I switched the point, bitch.

I was like, Pitya, point, and then I switched it and took it back. I have switched the bit of score counting. This is unfair. The score counter is racist. Because when I was a child one time, I knew someone who was darker than me and they gave me a bad score in Monopoly on purpose. Terrible, terrible life. It's a terrible life.

Shut up. When I was playing Settlers of Catan, I had the longest road. But then someone built a road that was longer and I had to give it to them. And I felt like I really switched the bitch road, bitches. I couldn't even finish playing Settlers of Catan because I felt like it wasn't my right to settle anywhere. Because everyone had roads and none of them led to the mixed section part of town. That game is racist. I felt like I never could fit in in Catan, you know, because I was not from Catan.

I was partially Catan. You know, some people were like, are you of the Bricks or are you of the Wheat? And I was like, never could fit in in Catan, you know, because I was not from Catan. I was partially Catan. You know, some people were like, are you of the Bricks or are you of the Wheat? And I was like, I'm from neither. I'm from Switzerland. And they're like, well, you don't belong in Catan. I just don't fit in, bitches. I'm the expansion pack, bitches. I'm said the seafarers.

And they're like, what do we do with you? We don't know what to do with all your sea tiles. We are here for the agricultural tiles. And i just never fit in on the island bitches i switched i made a trade i made a trade i traded two wheat for one brick and i was like i'm going to switch the bitch here make new resources that's wicked i earned every single brick myself. So she's... Sorry, everyone. So dot, dot, dot. No, I'm just kidding.

She's going off about being a victim because now she's mixed race. So that's really difficult, which I'm sorry, Ben. I accept your opinion, but I don't agree with it. And I have to still laugh, Ben, because I'm a psychic and angels don't lie. And my angels are laughing, right? Well, then we have the jack montage oh no wait even before that though so pedoflora is crying crying crying well not real crying but like fake crying trying to get people to feel sorry for her and then gina starts laughing and then she starts laughing and she's like wait a second but you do have an accent and she's like no no that's

not what she's trying to say you know i don't like when people do this let me explain to you what she's trying to say which that's chica's role in this part of the reunion is just reframing what everybody's saying in the most non-offensive way ever so that there's no fighting which that's kind of the point of the show chica be quiet she's like, I still feel bad for her. I mean, she's a mixed race. One time I had a bowl with peanut M&Ms in plain, and I have to admit, I was disappointed when I got a plain one. She's like, and then I

thought to myself, I wonder which jar I should put these peanut and regular M&Ms. I mean, they don't fit in the regular one. They don't fit in the peanut one. Like, they just don't fit in anywhere, these peanut M&Ms. And everyone's like, I know! I mean i mean lord knows could you imagine being a crispy oh god next year we're gonna have a crispy on this show crispy m&m oh god then there was a pretzel m&m mine was like i don't know what to do with all these m&ms huh so many m&ms on this show not enough mouths to eat them brucey but i was really happy because then i went to Lydia's house and she

has all these electronic drawers and each one's for a different type of M&M. So then everything worked out in the end. All you have to do is tip it with your foot. You just need to make sure to trap the right electronic drawer because electronics don't know and sometimes they'll give you a crispy. Oh, the horror! Um, so then it's like

this big accent fight and then it became how did it become about janet i think it was so funny that i stopped writing notes because i skipped to um gamble saying something nasty to janet where janet's like see and you thought i was uh what did she say she's like you thought i was uh a bad person or something? And Gamble's like, no, I never had a misconception. Oh, that's right. She's like, you had a misconception about me. And Gamble's like, I never had a misconception.

You always knew you were full of shit. No, you just jumped ahead. So basically what happened? I knew I skipped ahead, Ben. Save me, Ben. So what happened first was that there was a montage of Jackie. I skipped ahead, Ben. Save me, Ben.

So what happened first was that there was a montage of Jackie. Like Jackie's moments of, like, you know, psychic abilities. And they ended it with the fight in the Philippines where Jackie got so mad. When Gina said that she was possessed and Jackie had this, like, look on her face. It was, like, five different looks all at once. And then at the end of the montage, someone, we don't even see who, but someone on that stage there goes oh jackie that was a great look it's just for some reason that just made me crack up because they're always making little comments like oh jackie they always say something like oh that was lovely that was a lovely thing to say oh gina that was terrible what a terrible thing to say jackie what a look That was quite a look you gave. What a look there.

That's going in the show for sure. You want to give it again so we can get it from a different angle? Oh, Jackie, what a look. I love that montage of Jackie being a psychic. That was hilarious. It's like having a psychic ability but for nothing useful. It's all horrible, stupid things. She's like, yeah, so we were going golfing and one of my angels told me that Jenna was going to lose a stick, and then Jenna lost a stick.

Wasn't that amazing? Aren't the angels amazing? The angels are amazing. The angels told me there'd be a ball, and there'd be a club, and then someone would swing the club, and the ball would go flying. Wow, the angels, they really speak to me. I've been standing here at this bench, and my angels kept telling me, a boss is going to come, a boss is going to come, and then a boss came. I mean, can you imagine?

Those angels, I'm telling you, thank God for them. I might have gotten run over. Those angels are so couture. They told me, you know what, it may be a sunny day now, but give it a few hours and the sun's going to go away. And sure enough, the sun went down and it became nighttime. Wow, angels. Angels.

I mean, who knew a white sheet? How could sure? So anyway, then there was some talk about Gamble because Gamble had disparaged Jackie's psychic ability. She's like, you know, I'm a cynic and so Wolfie and I, you know,

we were just skeptical, skeptics, so that's the way it is We're scepters Me and Wolfie are scepters And we don't believe in psychics Because psychics Psychics say things that happen in the future

And you can focus on the future And you can focus on the now Wolfie I just don't believe In any of the stuff That the psychic babble and the angels. I'm just, you know, I'm a septic. I have so much septicism that we even have an underground tank for all of it. It's got a septic tank and we put all the disbeliefs in it.

Gamble does not believe in it. And Jackie's like, well, that's, you know, that's my, that's how I make like well that's you know that's my that's how i make my living i mean that's my job that's my career i mean that's like me going and you know when i see her paintings say her paintings look like five-year-old did it but i didn't do that i did i wouldn't do that because that's horrible you just did it i would say that yeah yeah you just did say it so you're just as bad but then then chica's like no wait here's what she's really trying to say shut up chico we understand it's not that deep okay i know um and then there was like another and then of course alex is like well i'm with jackie because you can't you can't criticize

someone's job you know someone told me my eyes went on my head one time and i said listen i'm a fashion designer and when my eyes look out that's their business all right don't disparage my my eyes my sunglasses um but they compared it to like saying you're not catholic to a priest which i don't think is the truth i think it's like telling a priest like um the bible is bullshit i think would probably be close yeah i think that's probably, yeah, exactly. But still, who cares? If you're a psychic, you've got to be ready for people to not believe in psychics, okay? It's just a dumb job. When I tell people that one of my jobs is talking about Bravo shows on the internet,

they say I'm an idiot, and I accept it. Yeah, exactly. It's a very shameful thing that we do. So then there was another montage that Alex preceded by saying, well, the ladies of Melbourne sometimes are not ladylike. In fact, they say things that could make a sailor blush. And I was like, ooh, Alex. He's like, I mean, if I was a sailor, I couldn't blush because of all the Botox I've had in my face. It doesn't really work anymore, except for the veins that you see pumping right here.

But otherwise, normal sailors, blush parade. Alright, let's welcome the blush parade. I'm gonna commentate on it as it passes by, with sunglasses on my head. Who cares that it's winter? He's like, little known fact, I was an extra in Mad Max and I refused to get out of costume.

Still haven't seen Mad Max, Ben. I just can't wait Till $16 Is like a normal amount To spend on a movie When that seems like A normal amount

Then I'll go But I can't be sitting There in Mad Max Like I could have bought Like drugs with this I could have a sack of weed To last me a week For this amount of money

I don't know Fuck off Mad Max I'm gonna see you When you're less mad On video, alright Well if you see Mad Max You'll see that There there's a bunch of characters that look like Alex Perry in weird leather just in the desert chasing things. I'm Dan. All right.

$16. Sounds fair. I'll be there today. Yeah. So, yeah, now we're at the sex talk clip, which every woman who said it, she's like, well, listen, I think Janet. She's like, every woman in Melbourne is getting it. So that's why we talk about it. Like, where are you getting it from?

What tool are you getting it from? No kidding. What candy? What candy product that was sent to you in a beauty box? Are you using? I know. Bruce. that was sent to you in a beauty box are you using i know uh bruce oh yeah they showed the clips of chica smacking some stripper ass and everybody's like why a chica i didn't think you do it i mean chica was the most into it than everyone how did brucey feel she's like hey that

you know watching that together i mean that was the first boner brucey got since christmas you know when i bought him underoos for the first time. Superman underoos. You know, he loves those. Yeah, when she said that Brucey definitely approved of her slapping a hot male stripper, I don't think anyone was surprised. I think, if anything, he was jealous. Yeah, he's like, darling, please don't wash it off, all right? I just want you to smell like that coconut oil for a while now, all right?

Coconut oil and musk, all right? Hold on a second. I that coconut oil for a while now all right coconut oil and musk all right hold on a second i'm reaching into my main giant it's still hard darling still hard come closer come closer he's like darling i'm not sure if i believe this tall tale you said about the strippers i think the only way i believe it is we went back there and i saw with my own eyes if i let me see if these strippers are real maybe maybe have one of them give me a lap dance so i so i know what you went through, so I know exactly if your story's true. Maybe you should leave the room, okay?

The only way to fix our marriage after you were with that stripper is for me to taste his penis and make sure that it's not anything dirty. I have to know that you didn't cheat with that stripper, so I will taste his penis to make sure it doesn't taste like you. Tell me what that stripper's penis felt like inside of you all right now i'm gonna go find out and we're gonna compare and see if you're lying academy is a new scripted podcast that follows ava richards played by hbo's industries my holla herald a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or be eaten world ava's ambitions take hold and her small town values break in hopes of becoming the a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world.

Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where

power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly.

There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History

for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Here's the thing. I know that if you had sex with that stripper, he's not going to have any sex drive. So therefore, I'm going to challenge him to give it to me up the butt. And if he can't do that, then I know he's been with you. But if he can, then I know

we're okay uh so then it becomes all about the women getting boned which i mean i couldn't fast forward because it was on the internet but i don't need that um especially the part with pediflora going down on that piece of penis poop that lydia had made for her at her party where she's like, this dessert was made by this special chef just for me. And it's a penis covered in poop. Oh, thanks for the tribute. And Petty Fleur is like, oh, yes. You know, the mixed race people in my town with long cookies,

we were forced to shove them all the way down our throats and then go, it's part of the sex trade. Don't make fun of me. It's a racist. Lydia is like, well, it's part of the sex trade. Don't make fun of me. It's racist. Lydia's like, well, it's okay. I know you feel sad, but guess what? You're my daughter now. So don't feel bad.

You belong here in my heart. You're my daughter now. Maybe it's time to stop thinking about how racist people are and start thinking about where you're going to dig up the next tree for my living room. You know, I love having a mongrel as a daughter. It means she'll love me even more. So then it turns into a little clip about... Wolfie and Gamble.

Wolfie. How it's just like... Wolfie. It's not all about getting your dry vagina covered in lotion so that you can just walk normal throughout the day. It's also about love between old people. Let's watch this clip of Wolfie and Gamble and hope that Wolfie doesn't poop himself

as they walk down this lovely street outside a diamond shop. It's like, oh, jeez. Nice clip. By the way, the way on sunday i and i put this post this on facebook i literally drove by a license plate that said it was o o space w o l f and i nearly lost my shit i wish i had been able to take a picture of it and the best part was so moments prior i was actually this is also on facebook i was driving by your house ronnie and i was behind this car this slow moving uh lexus and there was a guy

who was like rapping in the front seat and he was he was really into it and he was so into it that he's driving slowly and he was sticking out his hand at the window and he was like giving a middle finger to everyone but it wasn't like he was really giving them the finger he was just like acting out this song like who is this crazy person so we passed by this car right in front of your house and it was dmx dmx was rapping so then someone on facebook this made me laugh out loud someone on facebook uh was like what's my name you know that's the dmx song like what's my name but then he goes oh wolf pop and that for some reason just made me laugh out loud the idea of gamble responding to dmx like she's listening to dmx and when he does like the call and response she actually responds oh it's wolf pop dmX. He's like, shut up, bitch. Shut up, bitch. Shut up, bitch. Fuck you in your butt.

I'm Wolfie. He's so romantic. Wolfie, DMX wants to know your name. So whoever wrote that, I'm sorry, I don't have it pulled up, but that literally made me laugh out loud when you wrote that quote. I loved this whole package of the the clips he's like let's look at these romantic clips cut to package and it's like doling yes are you hungry no me neither i said romantic yeah what has happened he bought bought her a diamond. I mean, that was nice.

Yeah. There's not really a lot else going on. He's like, darling, you see what happens is you get mad and then you get really upset. And then that's not good for anyone, is it? And she's like, oh. Oh, Wolfie. Yeah, it's like, darling, I think what we should do now is not talk about this anymore. Oh, Wolfie.

So cute. And then it turned to, all right, now that we've talked about true love, let's talk about something Janet wants to talk about. The rumor. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, the rumor. Like, we haven't heard about the rumor. The montage was pretty hilarious because they kept on, bum, bum, bum, the rumor. Like, we haven't heard about the rumor. The montage was pretty hilarious because they kept on, like, they kept on showing the two of them fighting, Janet and Gamble,

and they, like, scored it with music from Inception. It was like, blah, blah. But then they would, like, make up, and they had, like, nice, sweet music. And then they'd start fighting again and then make up again. It was really funny. They went through it, like, six times. That was very funny. They put those garage band loops on a sampler and just kept playing like sad music fun music sad music fun music

all right we're not gonna talk about this anymore right but you started a rumor yeah and then so then when they're talking about it then janet drops the bomb that it was lydia who started the rumor in the first place. Oh, my God. Well, first of all, did you notice when Alex brought this important topic that every family needs to be discussing up at the reunion, Janet looked like she was going to have a heart attack. She was breathing really hard. She looked nervous as hell. It's like these women are like, all right, I'm on. Janet it's like i haven't had to do anything except talk about dry vagina and make fun of gina all night now it's my monologue time it's like calm down all right you've talked about

it 30 times but then we understand why she's freaking out because she's about to go up against that mastermind that mastermind wordsmith lydia i Lydia's like, well, I guess I started the rumor, but I don't remember the rumor. I guess, I think it was something that Figaro told me when he was racing. I don't know. Yeah, I hope you're not talking about me starting that rumor, because I didn't even know what we were talking about at the time. I had just gotten back from vacation, picking up a new mate in Mexico. And here I come back back and there's something about

someone being a whore, and I thought, well, you know, welcome to the club. Who else hasn't been there amongst us, you know? And then you took it and ran with it. Janet's like, that's right! In all season I was hammered! And Lydia's like, Patty Fleur's like, well, thank you for not saying I've been hammered all season.

And Lydia's like, Lydia's like, well Fleur is like, well, thank you for not saying I've been hammered all season. And Lydia's like, well, you know, I wish you would have talked to me. And Janet says, I did talk to you and you refused to do anything. Well, next time I hope to come at this with a more open heart. Next time I want my heart to be as open as Gamble's vagina has been on Facebook. And then this would all be solved. Oh, gosh. Yeah, Lydia just sort of slid by that, and she didn't even get any flack for it either.

She was like, just coming back from Italy. That's all. I guess I must have missed it. My bad. You know, it was the most exciting thing, too, because I was on a plane, and there were all these daughters on the planes just serving me.

I couldn't believe it. I was so happy, and I heard that they just flew the plane just for me, because I was the one who wanted to go to Australia, so they made a plane just for me.'ve always loved planes so australia built me one uh now during this uh gina has this evil smile which i just love because i guess she knows what's coming and she's smiling i thought it was going to be gina i was actually uh yeah it wasn't oh this is where gamble says janet's like

there you were questioning questioning my credibility and gamble's like i never questioned it i always knew you were full of shit and they're like oh no gamble that's awful gamble who talks like that gamble and then gamble just unleashed and wouldn't stop she was like a pissed off teenager and was just like you're full of shit you're a stupid cunt i hope you die i can't wait till you die i'm gonna come shit on your grave it was like whoa gamble reel it in like what i am reeling it in i'm not saying anything you stupid cunt i hope you drive and die like your vagina? And she told her, your vagina is way too hard to, or your vagina is way too dry to ride me this hard. And they were like, what does that mean? But that was when Manuela came out.

All right, so the next part is Manuela. Manuela, who sort of, to me, looks like some mix between Kathy Baker and Olivia Newton-John with bangs from 1911. Kathy Baker. Oh, my God. She's Picket Fence's Kathy Baker and Olivia Newton-John with bangs from 1991. Kathy Baker. Oh my god. She's Picket Fence's Kathy Baker. Yeah, she totally is 1992 Kathy Baker from Picket Fence's mixed with some Olivia Newton-John. And all she does is laugh

nervously. That's her defense. She's like, I'm just going to show people that I don't care too much about this. So she just laughs about everything. They're like, Manuela, so what do you think about the rumors? Oh, what rumors? Oh, what rumors are you talking about you know the rumors that you were spreading oh well rumors i was pretty i don't i don't even come up with rumors i don't even know what a rumor is i don't even know her i mean what rumors would i be spreading oh i don't have any rumors to spread like she's so evil and she has those big old teeth i don't like her that girl's

not i mean i want her on the show i want her on the show and i like manuela listen manuela didn't manuela disappointed me i have to say because she was shot down so easily by gamble being an obnoxious teenager gamble really has watched every housewife show ever because she knows how to operate and when someone is brought on she knows that they only have one second and i'm sure that gamble knows she doesn't know what a filibuster is but um she knows innately you know what i mean because she's like i'm gonna filibuster the bitch like she just kept saying you're a stupid cunt and i'm gonna shit on your face and i hope you swallow a whole load of wolfie's poop like she just kept saying, you're a stupid cunt, and I'm going to shit on your face, and I hope you swallow a whole load of Wolfie's poop. Like, she just kept saying awful things until Alex was like, all right then, Manuela, see you later.

She's like, thanks for having me. And I was like, oh, yeah, of course. It was lovely coming on TV. I'm excited for all my friends to be told to swallow a load of shit. Thank you. Thanks for having me I've only known her for three minutes So I don't even know who she is

I'm totally at ease with everything I'm updating my IMDB page To reflect that I have been told To swallow a load of horse cum So thanks for having me Alex He's like thank you Manuela And Campbell's like bye idiot I idiot. I hope you die. This is a very successful

experience, Ms. Mella. Piece of shit. Your pussy's too hard. Too dry to ride me this hard. Shut down. Bye, Manuela. Gee, rumors. Oh, what about when she was coming out on the couch and Gina's like, I'm not moving to the end. No, Lydia is like, I absolutely will not move to the end.

I'm sorry. Oh, I thought it was Gina. No, it was Lydia. Lydia's like, I'm sorry. I will not move. I'm not going to move. No, sorry. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about, bitch?

It's not like someone told you to get off the stage. It's not like you're in a power seat anyway. You're at the end of the couch, okay? You already lost. Yeah, you're already at the end. And I love that, like, Gina was the one who was like, well, I don't care. I'm just going to move to the end myself. Gina's like, I worked just as hard on the back of my hair as I did the front.

So, you know, we'll get a little side view, get a little side bang in there. i did the front so you know we'll get a little side view get a little side bang in there so now the rumors flirting with rick it's a rumor rumor rumor rumor rumor blah blah blah i just wrote rumor a lot i don't really have much more for this yeah that was pretty much it i think there's maybe some question about like any regrets yeah alex is like did we did you learn anything this season girls how about you lydia lydia's like no absolutely nothing and i'm proud to say it he's like thank you alex is like i've learned never to get a three-dimensional tattoo of sunglasses put on your forehead you can't ever take them off it's always summer on my head yeah they did an experimental tattoo it's less so i guess the the main point of all of it oh i think that we can sum it up with how gamble summed it up

in the end credits gamble turned to gina and she said is this even good tv or is this just crap and you know what i think that can pretty much sum up our podcast and this entire experience yeah well said gamble is this even a good podcast like all this shit we talk about like is this even good like what what are we doing what where what's what's happening i like that gamble has no idea and she likes it. And I think it's a question we all need to ask ourselves and be okay with whatever the answer is. Yeah. Because the truth is, darling, it's both.

It's crap and it's good TV and we love you for it. So what I'm trying to say, because Chica's not here to tell you, is that I love you and I can't wait to see more. I love what you've done with the TV show. I think it's not crap at all. love what you've done with the TV show. I think it's not crap at all.

I think you've done a great job. I think it's wonderful. Alex is like, all right then, that's it for the reunion. And Chica's like, what Alex was trying to say, is it NASA time where we're finishing up? Thanks, Chica. Alex is like, all right, I'm going to go home to my wife who I have sex times with

and I put my penis in my vagina, in her vagina, as straight men and straight women do and then afterwards I'm going to talk to Brucie about it. We're going to remember those male strippers together. I forgot that he was straight. Yeah. Well, it's easy to forget. Listen, if Bruce Jenner can be

a straight heterosexual man with boobs you can still be a straight gay man. Alright, the lines have changed. Write a thank you note to Caitlyn, darling, all right, because the lines are blurred. Darling, darling, here's what you do, okay? You put some tuna tartare into a box, you send it via BoxyCharm to

Bruce Jenner, aka Caitlyn Jenner, and then you say, here, from Alex Perry, sunglasses in the shape of tuna tartare. Let's get together and have non-sex parties with men or possibly not. By the way, I'd like to say that what I just said made absolutely no sense. I know, so I tried to top it with less sense. Did it work?

Which then comes back to the question, is this a good podcast or are we just saying crap? And I think right now on my end, I'm like, can we go back to the, can we go back to Gamble? This is a fun podcast about crap. All right. Petit Fleur. Petit Fleur is like, I did not say this show ended. This show is not over. You liar.

This is not a reunion. Okay. We've been seeing each other all the time. So it's not a reunion. It's just us getting together again. It's a lie. Why can't believe you would say that, Alex Perry You're a liar Speaking of getting together

Let's go back to a family that is not mixed The Candy Factory family Oh, when they say they've been skiing before That they haven't been skiing They are lying I'm sure they've been to the slopes before Riley already has snow gear Liars.

I am enjoying this show, I guess, but I'm definitely having the same thought over and over again while I watch it, which is why am I watching this show? Why is this show on? Who came up with this show? Why? Why, why, and why? I have a lot of whys.

Well, obviously Bravo is trying to ride the Atlanta train because Atlanta has the best why, and why? I have a lot of whys. Well, obviously Bravo is trying to ride the Atlanta train because Atlanta has the best ratings. And the truth is also that Candy's extended family, they're fun characters, you know? So even though there is that big question mark of – excuse me, I keep burping. There is that question mark of why are we watching this and why do we care? At the same time, it's fun. We do it and we enjoy it. So there you go.

Sometimes you have to stop asking why. All right. Well, it was a fun episode. I believe it's... I don't remember how it started. It was one of those things... It started with memories of the old lady fight from last week. Yeah, old lady fight.

Or from two weeks ago. So that was fun because I just love those old lady fights it was like previously on Candy's ski trip I walked up 12 stairs that is wrong Candy that is wrong

hey you make your aunt walk 12 stairs there are some out there yeah I almost died well what do you guys want me to do? I want a big house. I want a big house with delivery menus in there because I like delivery stuff. Love those old ladies. I just want it to be those old ladies just being bitches the whole time.

Well, that's pretty much what the show is, which I like. Although this episode wasn't as much about the old ladies being bitches. This one was more about Candy's assistants being bitches, which they really are. So on the main show on Atlanta, we've seen a lot of Don Juan and Carmen, and they sass off to Todd. And we usually defend them because Todd is an asshole and he's arrogant

and he comes in and he bosses everyone around. And so we sort of understand why Carmen and Don Juan get irritated by him and et cetera. But the truth is they have become divas in their own right. And even not so much Don Juan because I believe Don Juan does a lot for Candy. And I feel like he has graduated from assistant to this next level where he sort of coordinates things for her. But Carmen as an assistant, she does have an attitude attitude and she's had an attitude for a while and we've been on her side because mama joyce is so nasty to her but in this episode uh the big thing is that matthew who's todd's uh assistant is starting to prove himself to be a better assistant even if he is a little

more annoying than carmen and way Yeah, so he had this meeting with the two other assistants and brought over an iPad and a notebook and a, you know, whatever. And they're like, oh, look at you with your notes. Oh, isn't that funny?

Oh, you got a pad too? Oh, you got a pad and a note? Oh, well, don't you care? Look at him caring. I'm like, really? Wow. I was like, you guys are such assholes. And anything that he matthew suggested

they were like okay whatever i was like you guys are just you guys are awful you guys are making me that's by the way that's for people who was in the bonus episode that's the way i felt when i unleashed my board game at game night you'll understand after the board game i love that matthew is going from like dumb and d dumber haircut pushover assistant to flaming gay guy in his interviews with bangs. Or with his bangs grown out. I love it. I think it's so funny. He's like, bye.

He's like, bye, Don Juan. Bye, other person. Hello, me. Bye, girl. Bye, girl. Hi, girl. Girl, bye. Girl, bye.

Hey, girl. Hi, girl. Girl, bye. Girl, bye. Hey, girl. So let's start at the beginning of this episode because we actually started with some stuff that didn't have to do with those two assholes. And this is Candy talking to Todd about the conversation she had with her family. She's just gotten back from this old lady fight.

And she's telling Todd everything, which, mistake, why would you do that? Haven't you learned to not go tell Todd that your whole family hates him? Come on. She's like, see, now, we need things that we've been doing and all the family stuff. And I'm like, see, we was there at that barbecue. But she's like, no, I don't think so. See, now, we need her.

Where's Riley right now? Kelly. riley where's riley right now mama said that she thinks since we got married got taller hair he's like taller hair much taller hair they don't like it honey like i don't know why she's saying those things babe because my hair is taller but i'm also a taller guy and the fact that she can't believe that i'm taller makes me not feel like i'm part of the family now babe you have a new family babe if you're if you're talking about me being taller babe you gotta let me in on that conversation

because otherwise i'm gonna feel shorter and that's like you don't want your husband to feel shorter especially if you were in bonnet to bed and then we get to the assistants being mean to the new assistant and they're like they ain't nobody gonna go fly fishing and he's like that is racist yeah well i like how i mean i see how he's annoyed either way is racist. Yeah. Well, I like how also, I mean, I see how he's annoyed. Either way. Like, he is admittedly annoying because he's sort of like, he's just a little out there. But he is doing his job. And he is like, all he did was saying, okay, well, we have some other ideas.

Like, maybe you want to go fly fishing. And they're like, fly fishing. And then he's like, yeah. Then he's like, that then he's like that feels racist but he was doing his job he was doing fine, so they basically just shade him out of there and then he's like thanks for not inviting me for a drink

they're like bye and Carmen's like you want to make granola organic granola cucumber, fine you do the shopping then, I'm not even going to do it so he goes and does the shopping and then it turns into drama because that family went through two whole costco-sized bags of because you know that's what they were when they were like who buys two packages of bacon for 12 people i'm like uh most normal people yeah actually there were a lot of things going wrong because mama

joyce was cooking that bacon and she was like she didn't even bother separating it out she was cooking it like a big slab of meat. I was like, Mama Joyce, that's bacon. Or if it is, then I've been mistaken for many years. It's all glopped together. So she's trying to make the... What's that? All the ants were very scared

because apparently Mama Joyce does not do the cooking. That's Bertha's job. I think we agree. Bertha and Nora do the cooking, but Mama Joyce... Yeah, Mama Joyce, this whole scene, Mama Joyce was just faking it. She's trying to have that smile which just looks like a put-on Joker smile. It looks like somebody is literally

taping their mouth back to smile, this little pointy smile. And she's like, I'll cook us breakfast candy. And so she's making breakfast, and she's just being so passive-aggressive, you know? It's like, well well i love waffles but one time a waffle dated a pancake against my will and no one ate that waffle it's like okay we

get it all right you're not fooling anybody lady she's like at least the waffles listen to me and pay me give me a call and come visit me once in a while um so carmen gets in trouble she's like well why are you complaining about all the Give me a call and come visit me once in a while. So Carmen gets in trouble. She's like, well, why are you complaining about all the meat being gone? Who did the shopping? Not me. You know that's the point, right?

Yeah. Because you were supposed to do the shopping. Well, it backfired on her because she did the past aggressive thing, which is like, you know what? Like, I'm not going to take part. She basically wanted Matthew to mess up. It was classic Apprentice, you know, like on The Apprentice when someone backs out of a challenge, essentially, to make the other person hang themselves. So Matthew, of course, he doesn't buy the right things. But instead of Matthew getting the heat, everyone gets mad at Carmen. They're like, well, see, that's your job now to get the bacon.

So see, Carmen. They're like, well, see, that's your job now to get the bacon. So, see, Carmen. Just giving. And then you see a genuine smile from Alma Joyce because she's getting what she wants. And she's like, Carmen gets paid for doing nothing. I mean, that sounds like a good job. Why don't you pay me to do

nothing? You know that Candy does pay you to do nothing, right? Did you forget that part of your life, you fucking when was your last job yeah complaining about houses that were bought for you yeah exactly uh by the way it's funny though how in the long in the long run mama joyce is getting her way because carmen todd got a bad edit last season on atlanta and now carmen's getting a bad one so mama joyce is coming out on top. Yeah, Mama Joyce scared some editors, that's for sure. Yeah, she's like, I saw what you did to me. That ain't right.

That is wrong, editor. She walked in with a stiletto and she's like, you better edit me right. So Todd, they ski, boring. So Todd goes to a bar with his uncles or cousins or whoever the hell everybody is in his family. a bar with his uncles or cousins or whoever the hell everybody is. Before they even do that, while everyone's skiing, Matthew

takes the old ladies shopping. They go to the Cowboy store. And first of all, they're like, well, we would have thought that Carmen would have taken us shopping. It seems strange that Matthew would have, but okay. And they seem like they're actually having a fun time with Matthew. And I love when Bertha was listing the stores that she goes to.

All she was doing was listing. She's like, I don't shop at cowboy stores. I shop at Marshall's. Shoe Carnival. Shoe Carnival is my favorite. Culliver's, whatever that is. Burlington. Burlington.

I was like, our favorite is Macy's. Oh yeah, Macy's. That is our favorite. Oh yeah, Macy's. Oh, Macy's. So then there's, I'm just mentioning this scene only as evidence

building for later on. So that Matt did this with the old ladies. So then, yeah, so then Todd goes drinking, this with the old ladies so then yeah so then todd goes drinking drinking with the fellas yeah so mama joy is in the store is like being nice to the lesbian aunt i mean i'm assuming she was lit no no she's married to somebody right todd's like uncle i think which is kind of funny too because it was interesting seeing them interact because you could sort of see that this aunt way way more educated, way more well-off than these ladies. So it was sort of funny watching in a very subtle way.

It wasn't harped on at all, but you could just sort of see it. Mama Joyce kissing her ass. She's like, I've been shopping. I got two pairs of pajamas for my children because I have two grandchildren now. And I want you to know that my second non-grandchild is still my grandchild. And I know you've heard a lot of bad things about me. But I hope that you'll let me call you a whore and then you can hate me. And don't hate me because I call some dead person a whore.

Okay, honey? And Lesbian's like, mm-hmm, okay, sounds good. Can't wait to get on with this. Yeah, exactly. So then the men in Todd's family are like, that weenie's a bully. I've seen bullies before, and weenie is it. And the thing missing from, and then Todd Todd's like the thing missing is a man Like yeah all these old ladies

All they really need is a man to keep them in line Get out of here you little fucking midget Shut up Yeah exactly and Todd is the man to do that job Todd is the man Yeah let's cut to Todd Like crying about having to sign a prenup For three weeks and then signing it

Like a little pussy And complaining even though candy is his paycheck like regardless of what Todd Tucker productions there may be out there candy is the paycheck let's just be real about that yeah your productions would get you a nicer studio apartment in Hollywood but it would still be a studio apartment in Hollywood do not front okay. Okay? That's a good Heather. I'm using some Heather terminology. Hey, stop putting Todd out on front street.

Three circles and a snap. Okay, Todd? Holla. So then, anyway, so they end up all having a meal together and... No, no, before them. Should I skip? No, they do game night.

Yeah, they do game night first. Oh, God. So what happens is they're all doing game night. They're having fun. And Todd comes back from the bar feeling like he has to exert his manliness. And that's when he goes after Weenie. He's like, I don't think it's it's appropriate for you know you to be coming after candy and saying that we're not involved blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

so then weenie gets all you know riled up riled up and uh yeah he's like i can't believe you would bring this up on the day that matthew didn't bring enough bacon that is disrespectful right there that is disrespectful and he's like well i'm just trying to say, you know, you guys talk about me, and then you get defensive. Oh, I'm defensive? You're defensive. You're defensive. And he's like, I'm calm. And then Mama Joyce, wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Now. You are defensive calm. Like, thank you for quieting the room to say that, you fucking stupid Mama Joyce. Well, she was actually right. Mama Joyce totally changes. I think she was right. Then she changes the subject.

She's like, you are calm, defensive. But that is still defensive. You want to know what I saw? I saw that man right there. And I'm thinking the one who just called Weenie a bully behind her back. You don't know that yet. So I'll just let you carry on. That man came into this house

and the first thing he did was kiss his wife. The first thing you did was go to the kitchen. Oh God. I have to say I actually felt like Mama Joyce was on point. Because you know

I actually felt that when Weenie was telling Todd, like, you know, stop being so defensive. He's like, I'm not being defensive. I'm calm. I was like, you can still be calm and defensive. And Mama Joyce was like, you're defensive calm. I was like, yes. Thank you, Mama Joyce. And when she said that thing about the dad, she kind of was right.

I mean, you know, I get it. I mean, of course, you're allowed to get a beer with me. Yeah, but that's not even the discussion. You're allowed to get a beer with me. but that's not even the discussion. You're allowed to get a beer when you kiss your wife. Yeah, but she's taking, you know, she's taking an argument about the family talking shit about him and trying to get candy to whatever. She's taking, like, a real family conversation and then in front of everybody turning it into, you're not even a good husband to my daughter because you didn't kiss her. I mean, she's a horrible human being. And that's what he's talking about he's like why the hell and i'm sticking up for todd which is really sad which means i'm not watching there's no way to stand

up for anyone and come out of winter because they're both yeah you know todd doesn't need to deal with that shit it's like most husbands would be like that yeah that's right you're not spending as much time with your family because they're toxic cunts and i don't want them filling your head with terrible things about me and we're moving to a different city, bitch. Bye. Ronnie, you said the C word. Eh, fuck it. You know, I think we're talking about Mama Joyce. It comes in handy.

Oh! Some rules are meant to be broken, like the little cunts they are, darling. Ronnie, you abandoned your post. You abandoned your Seaweed post. Okay, so. But then they eventually, like,

then they sort of, like, reach a truce. And then they go on the snowmobile, whatever, and they get to dinner. It's like the next day, right? Yeah, and then the buffet guy in line. I don't know why this is what I write down out of that to dinner. It's like the next day, right? Yeah, and then the buffet guy in line. I don't know why this is what I write down out of that whole dinner, but the buffet guy was cracking me up because he's like,

okay, everybody, welcome to a buffet. Here's what you do. Get a plate, and then you stand in a line, and then you get food. They're in these large containers. Just get some food. Get what you like, and then get a napkin and some silverware and then sit back down in your seat. I think they know what a buffet is.

Okay? Yeah. Tourists have buffets in their hometowns too, darling. They're called hometown buffets. Darling, Chef Benny, here's what we're going to do. Okay? We're going to open up a buffet, alright? But we're going to make it look very old, alright? And also from the country. We're going to call it

Old Country Buffet. Get to it, Penny, right now. Ta-ta. Ta-ta on every cipher. Ta-ta, darling. Ta-ta. Let's make pigs in a blanket, but call them something else, like pigs in a blanket. Alright, put it on the menu, darling. Colorado, here we come, darling. Get the cipher going.

So then it becomes, now. Colorado, here we come, darling. Get the chafer going. So then it becomes, now it becomes a public assistant fight because the assistants are openly mocking Matthew for bringing... He brings like a little sort of like toothpick type of thing. You know that thing, they're almost like little mini floss things that you put in your teeth. Yeah, it's like, hey guys,

okay, did you enjoy that barbecue I had set up? Well, all the assistants set it up because we all love you equally. Right, other assistants? So we set this up for you, and we also thought to bring you little baby toothbrushes. Just put them in your mouth and brush your teeth like you're normally brushing your teeth. It's going to be so fun. And the aunts are like, hey, get on my nerve.

Matthew, nice, but I'll kill that bitch. So the assistants openly start mocking him again They're like, oh, look at you assisting Oh, look at you doing things for your client I think you're so great Getting her things Oh, you want to write something down, Matthew? Want to write something down?

And Riley is fuming You can tell because she's talking really, really loudly Yeah, she's talking really, really loudly. Yeah. She's talking louder and slower than usual. And Candy's like, Riley, what's your deal? And she's like, Riley, what's going on down there at that part of your table? Riley.

And Riley's like, well, it's just that, you know, Matthew is doing a really good job as an assistant, but then you have two assistants who are supposed to be doing what he is doing, and they are not an assistant but then you have two assistants who are supposed to be doing what he is doing and they are not doing anything and they are haters

yeah that was amazing and the entire table just busted out laughing it was amazing and then Carmen and Don Juan were sitting there like because they can't say anything because the boss's daughter just called them out they do though they roll their eyes well you don't know what it's like being a general manager of candy productions

i do a lot of things i do a lot of things other than carry around a bag full of dental floss um yes but you do it with food in your teeth and that's the point we can all learn from each other don juan and then it comes to assistant fight where they get alone with each other and they start yap yap yapping about how mean candy is and don juan can't believe candy's not going to stick up for them and then uh they start telling off candy and then where's don juan nowhere not going to help carmen at all yeah because like yeah because telling off candy and candy's kind of like, well, you know, I kind of agreed, you know. She's like, honestly, you haven't been the best assistant to me in the world.

And then Carmen, of course, showing why she's not the best assistant. She's like, all right, fine. You want me? I'll carry a bag. If you want me to carry a bag, I'll carry a bag, which is such a passive aggressive way to respond to your boss, you know. And then Candy's like, no, the issue is not that you don't have a bag, which is such a passive-aggressive way to respond to your boss. And then Candy's like, no, the issue is not that you don't have a bag. The issue is that you don't anticipate things. You don't anticipate enough to get on top of you.

And then she gives up. Candy starts giving examples. And then Carmen is totally busted. And then Candy, you know, she gets Don Juan, too, because in the sense that Don Juan can't stand up for for Carmen because Candy points to a situation where Don Juan has clearly complained about Carmen to Candy so now Don Juan is in a position where he's like yeah well

yeah you didn't do that thing that you were supposed to you know and it was great yeah well it was great because it's like that's like when this is why Candy I think is so successful because I think she is on top of her shit and she's on top of her assistance and as much as she seems like she sometimes is out of control of the situation she very much is and she knows what she wants out of people which is why we all love candy yeah she's like other assistants

anticipate things you know my friends they wake up and their assistant has all their stuff done that they would want. They didn't have to ask for it. I mean, it would be nice one day if I just woke up and there was, like, enough bacon, you know, or, like, a platform for Todd to get out of bed in so he's not falling every morning, you know? It's like anticipate, anticipate, darling. You know, maybe some clippers in the bathroom for Todd. Yeah. Height hair. So the bathroom for Todd. Yeah. Height hair. So that's enough of that now.

What's the next show been? Blood, sweat, and heels. Blood, sweat, and heels. Blood, sweat, and cancer, darling. Fun episode. So the girls are in the Hamptons, which is always bad news. For the Hamptons and the is always bad news. Bad news. For the Hamptons and the girls. For everyone involved.

So, I think the episode opened with, like, they're all sleeping, and Demetria's, like, sitting at her, at a table, being like, Melissa! Melissa! I'm like, girl, everyone's sleeping. Why don't you just go

and find her? Like like why are you yelling throughout the house this is not the first time she yells about the house she later does it because ben it's her wedding and it's a big deal ben it's a big deal my wedding like normally i don't like weddings but it's a big deal it's a big big deal i am so fucking sick of dimitria um going along with this faux like oh i don't really care it's just a wedding let's just like get some flowers and let's take it a dress and let's just have a wedding let's just celebrate i just want like 50 people i'd call it to in the morning like don't act like you're so over it you love it and even when she says later on like okay so it turns out i love it like i'm

really loving this like who would have thought i'm like having a moment i never would have thought like you did know you would think you knew you would have a moment so just stop with this whole thing like you know you're having a moment of vulnerability and that kind of makes you special. Like, just shut up, Demetria. She's like, look at me. I'm like a real girl. I'm like a real girl now. Dun, dun, dun.

So Demetria, basically, she has a photo shoot. Like, a magazine wants to do a photo shoot with her at a castle somewhere in Long Island and so she takes Melissa with her to the castle to help. And it's a big deal. It's a big deal because it's like a big magazine, it's a big castle. But it's an even bigger deal to Geneva because Geneva's already on the shit list

with Greg, Demetrio's fiance and Geneva would have thought that for sure she would have been brought to the castle to help out, but she wasn't, she didn't even know about it I love the shock I love Geneva's shock like when you're an asshole and then you're surprised when they're an asshole why?

why are you surprised? like before she was an asshole to everybody but you but now you're the one, she's being an asshole to you sorry, that's what you deserve because you're friends with a fucking asshole nobody can be friends with Demetria as herself as she is and uh be surprised when she's a cunt god damn it see now it's a habit you know it's a habit i need to quit you know it's it happens you have one drink and forget it yeah um but i love when geneva said i don't like this i don't like this one bit you know

one minute i'm invited and then the next minute i'm not i feel like an outlaw i'm like no jesse james you're not an outlaw okay you're an outcast you've done nothing outlawish all right except for that that whole punching the cop or whatever you did in your orange plastic cone listen you sound really worked up about it why don't you just put your feet up and decompose for a little bit? Geneva English. Yeah, well, the funny thing was that since Geneva was not invited on this photo shoot, she then spent so

much energy letting the world know. She had her girlfriend call up, her friend V. She's like, yeah, would you believe it? Demetria, they just left. They just left without me. She's calling everybody. She called her mom. She's like, mom, you wouldn't make sure they just left they just left without me like i would have she's calling everybody she called her mom she's like mom you wouldn't believe what she did to me i mean here i am looking like a damn fool and her mom's like well what are you wearing right now i'm in pajamas but don't worry the robe doesn't match it's totally clashing oh you're still you baby that's all that matters that's all that matters you're still you she's

like sorry mom i gotta go put a put an update on the Geneva News Daily website right now. Big red headline, Geneva not invited to photo shoot. The Trader Joe's flyer. What is that called? Yeah, like the month, whatever it's called. I've got to put an ad on. Sausage is on sale. Also, Demetrius is a bitch.

I have to write an editorial in the penny saver. Excuse me. What about, what's her buns? Demetria is saying, my mom's here. And, you know, my mom, like, I really respect her. She's a feminist. She's a true feminist. And her whole life she's been fighting for feminist rights.

And the biggest news, it wasn't about self-publishing a book of blogs that I copy and pasted from the Internet. And it wasn't about, like, finding, you know, a sexist guy today. She's excited about me getting married. I'm really trying to get that one figured out. Is it against feminist policy now to be happy when your daughter gets married? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know, her mom was very cute. Although I have to say I was so distracted by her hair because it was like a short, it's like a little bob on the left. And then it was like, it was like long on the right. It was like this very strange asymmetrical situation. And I could not figure it out the life of me. I'm like, I don't want to shade this woman. But this haircut is really very strange to me. I know it's not right to just not like parents because of their children's actions, but you can't hate the apple and love the tree.

You know what I mean? I haven't seen enough of the tree to hate the tree. I'm going to love the tree until I learn to hate the tree. Right now, I'm down with the tree. Sometimes apples go rotten, and the tree is still standing. There you go. I've just ruined my own... that's why sometimes that's why there's a thing

called bad apples and that's why if you're gonna go apple picking you should just take the apples that are in the lobby and not even bother with the orchard yeah well who can blame them they're going on some field trip that someone else planned that they didn't even want to go on so now this is something that i i can actually see why the girls were annoyed because while melissa is off with dimitria these girls the rest of the girls they have even want to go on. So now this is something that I can actually see why the girls were annoyed. Because while Melissa is off with Demetria, these girls, the rest of the girls, they have a plan to go apple picking. And we should mention that Arzo and Shanti, they buried the hatchet. So everything's okay with them. And then so they go apple picking.

But this is Melissa's event. Kind of. That was a very funny conversation. Yeah. Look, here's the deal. We're in the same group of friends. And I think it's really horrible that I hurt your feelings,

and I would just like to say that I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry. You're going Australian. You're going Australian. And, or, I can't, that's all I can do now. And, or, Arzo's like,

yeah, well, I mean, like, okay, then. I mean, I got that sincere, so thank you. Thanks for apologizing. Well, thanks. You know, I know, I know you didn't have any balance.

So, you know, let's just move on. I'm really good at moving on. That's why I dated someone named Yesterday. Because I like to leave Yesterday in the past. Because he doesn't have money yet. So I want to leave our Afghan account comments in the past. Thanks, Marzo. When I'm ready, I'll find a man named Future.

But until now, it's yesterday. Okay? No one wants to be in the present. Yeah, exactly. And Future's spelled F-E-W-T-U-R-E. Okay? Thanks, Marzo. So, but anyway, so the women go to apple picking, and this is Melissa's event, and Melissa's not there.

And that is kind of fucked up. Actually, it's like I think it's totally fucked up because you know i'm sure if these women had their druthers they probably did not want to go apple picking although i would have i don't think they would have wanted to but they have to because melissa arranged it but melissa's not even there that's that's fucked up and on top of that daisy's having issues because previously on blood so in the heels when daisy was telling her answer she's sharing and then and then um dimitri and arzo and uh melissa were kind of like snickering in the corner to be fair i didn't think it was that bad that they were doing it because they were all drunk and they've heard it before so or some of them they weren't making cancer jokes they were just they weren't i don't know i can

understand what no they weren't i can understand why daisy was upset but i can also understand why they thought that it was okay to do that yeah but daisy too much daisy too much daisy i think she was i i don't think you can tell everybody how much you don't want to talk about your cancer don't want to talk about your cancer and then all you want to talk about is your cancer you know it's almost like people who are in the closet and then they come out and then everything they say is about having a dick in their mouth like we get it we don't care right well i guess i guess what daisy's point was i don't want to talk about i don't want to talk about it but now okay i'm going to talk about it so like let me

have my moment i guess i can sort of understand that and i guess i can understand why she's mad because dimitria arzo and well not melissa but dimitria and arzo really hadn't talked to her about it they didn't know anything about it so that's why it may have seemed a little colder but yeah but i also feel like then she should just say why don't you guys stop laughing while i'm talking like i'm talking about cancer and you're in a corner laughing like why is it two days later or whatever and And she's like, and the intimate tree doesn't even care. I mean, I have cancer. And they're over there laughing.

And she's offering to cut me a strawberry. I mean, that's so rude. Blubber, blubber, blubber, blubber, blubber, blubber. And then the ladies come back and she's just like pretending nothing happened. She's like, hi, how are you guys? Did you have fun? I give Daisy a little bit of a break on that because she's talking about it's only the next day that she was talking about it and i think

that as she was she was addressing arzo because she's the only one that was there i think she actually addressed arzo in a very mature way and i think that but as she started to talk about it i think the emotion started to like well up in her i think she was sort of And also Arzo wasn't helping because she wasn't agreeing with her, you know. Arzo was like Well, I mean, look how much can people talk about cancer? Like it gets boring you know what I mean? Like

cancer is like, it's not like you just got it. Like it's old now. Like you have old cancer. It's not a new disease. Well, you know, Arzo was like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that. I just thought that since you don't, since you sort of say that you don't like to talk about

cancer, I thought that you didn't want to talk about cancer based on what you said. So therefore we weren't paying attention. I'm sorry, girl. I just thought you were making a beeline for something else. Sorry. But I was literally talking about cancer. I said cancer 20 times.

And Arzo's like, yeah, we didn't hear you because that's like old news and we were talking about new stuff. Like, have you heard of Ebola? Have you heard that you can get Ebola from an apple? Yeah, they were all like, don't touch the apple. There's Ebola, Ebola, Ebola. Meanwhile, Geneva,

all of a sudden, who had spent the morning, like, erecting billboards about the fact she wasn't invited to the photo shoot, then suddenly was defending Demetra. She's like, no, you know, Demetra's like, she cares, she cares in her own weird way. Like, let me talk, let me talk, let me talk. And Shanti's like, no, that's not right.

It's not right at all. She's a bully. She's a big, fat bully with big hair. That's not right at all. She's an Afghan hound too. It's like, stop sticking up for her. It's ridiculous. She's a giant bully.

I mean, she's wearing ruffles for Christ's sake, darling. Ruffles. Yeah, Demetria does have something with ruffles. I like that she says things like, I'm not, you know, Shanti is saying you don't have to treat her like she's the queen and then meanwhile dimitri is really in a castle like she's literally a castle in wearing like princess elizabeth ruffles i loved all of that stuff i loved all i don't know why i love dimitri in a castle so much i just thought it was so funny i was excited about the wedding because like like weddings are like fashion statements

where everybody's like wearing crop top dresses and like trying to look all hot and i don't care you know like i just wanted a wedding where i could feel thin again so i came back to the time of botticelli and we're now getting married in a castle and i'm the thin person in town it's a big deal it's just like they're like taking photos they're like holding up my dress behind me like this is crazy like is this my life this is this is so crazy and they're taking pictures like this is what they do on photo shoots they take pictures like this is crazy i'm like so self-conscious right now like i don't feel pretty right now even though everyone's telling me i'm pretty like this is crazy it's a big deal i'm getting married it's crazy i'm beautiful i'm beautiful big wow this is

a big whoa did you see me walk in the grass without my shoes i walked in the grass without my shoes i mean it's a big deal you guys huge i'm gonna blog about this i like it like i'm just like i'm just realizing this is like my wedding this is like an amazing day this is probably one of the best days in mankind like it's a big deal i'm self-publishing a new book this weekend it's called big deal and you open it and it just says Big Deal because it's a big deal. It's a big deal. I published two words. So then so after all the venting and the apple orchard or whatever, so then they all go to dinner at Almond.

And so they get there and then everyone is all smiles and happy and yada, yada, yada yada yada and then um shanti i believe it starts with shanti telling dimitra that she deserves an apology for greg uh kicking her out of the uh q a from a few episodes ago and dimitra yeah she's like i think you owe me an apology and dimitra is like why he's just looking at her like bitch really now yeah and then shanti's like did come for her brother yeah shanti was like my brother works in a yogurt factory okay i keep it real she um she was like she's like everyone was making noise i don't know why you single me out and then they show a flashback of her being like wasted being like and dimitri's response is i should I should have kicked all your asses out then,

if you were like that. It's a big deal. I was in a castle, okay? You were at a Q&A of someone who went to a castle. So this huge fight's starting, and Orza's like, what are you guys going to order? I want to order a side of fries,

but my parents will be disappointed. So nobody tell them, okay? Whenever we go to a restaurant, yesterday always has to order a grilled cheese or chicken fingers because he eats exclusively off the children's menu. It's adorable. I'm feeling homesick right now because nobody, like we're fighting and nobody is coloring on their menu.

Guys, I have a question. What are we supposed to do while we wait for our food? I want to play a maze, but there's no mazes here for me to draw through. Guys, whatever happened to Tic-Tac-Toe, am I right? And then meanwhile, Shanti's like, you're a bitch, and Demetria's like, you're all horrible.

And then Demetria, Demetria's so holier than thou, and I love when she fights and pretends that she's like Shakespeare. She's like, thou shalt not. That was out of bounds. Thou shall not speak to me like that. I was in a castle all day. Thou shall not.

Raise the drawbridge. Raise it. You are no longer invited to order dinner at this restaurant i know well dimitri was like dimitri was like honey you are reaching you are reaching and your arms are not long enough and then shanti's like well you're you're wide enough i forget what she said she's like your waist isn't small enough or your waist isn't small your waist is too big or something isn't small enough she actually had like a pretty awesome response it was now she's like you have t-rex arms well you're fat the end and then they're like that is disrespectful that a woman would say that to another woman yeah that suddenly it became like

that was a personal attack yada yada and then melissa i think melissa chimed in at one point like anyone wants to hear about melissa and shanti's like look i'm just defending my friend i think it's shitty that you were you know you want that you're willing to disinvite Geneva when you guys are so close. And that was actually – I agree with Chantal. No, Ben. That was the dumbest point. She's like, listen, I was at your event talking and you didn't like that. But then you have no problem talking during someone's cancer story.

And it's like those are two different things. One is a public event, and one is a living room where people are just sitting around talking. True, although it's not, I mean, at the same time, it's like, I mean, yes, I get 100% what you're saying, but there is that element of, like, it's one thing, like,

everyone has to be quiet for Demetria, and yet now, when Daisy is sharing something a lot more personal and that's a lot scarier, that Demetria doesn't have to pay attention. You know what I'm saying? I do get that. I see what you're saying. To me, they don't have anything to do with each other. It's just Chantal bringing someone else's cancer up to use against somebody else in a fight.

I'm not saying this is a good defense for Chantal's argument. I'm not saying – What Chantal was arguing about had nothing to do with anything. But to get to the point about Demetria disinviting Geneva, I think that is bullshit. I think it's like, if you're going to let that cause you to be... If you're going to let that get in the

way of someone attending your wedding, then that is bullshit. I'm sorry. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it is. She's bullshit and i also like i mean i think because i hate how she acts whenever somebody asks her about something she always becomes such an ice bitch it's like why do you need to do that like i get that you self published a book or two babe but saying thou shall does not make you smarter than everybody else this other bitch owns her own business you're not talking to some moron, you know?

Yeah, and then they get home. And first of all, Melissa's like, guys, it's so dirty in here. Well, bitch, you should have been home to clean it up. But then Demetria, like, upstairs is like, all right, I'm going home. I'm going home. This isn't fun for me anymore. This isn't fun. This is like one of the guys' digital life.

I've literally put on a quilt because it's so chilly in here. I have quilted a jacket and i'm like what are you wearing my memos quilt like it looks like she robbed the cracker barrel and then packed her bags she's like literally literally this is no longer this isn't fun for me anymore like i'm gonna come i'm not gonna i'm not gonna be here if it's not fun for me so i'm gonna go home so it's not fun so geneva i'm gonna go right now so then geneva which is by the way also such as you know it wasn't i can't even get into it. Geneva, you're the, I mean, Demetria, you're the reason why it's mostly not fun.

Even if Chantal started with you, you're really the reason. And I kind of like that. Even though Chantal, a lot of times her arguments are very self-serving, as most arguments are. But even though she's kind of like annoying, I kind of like that she was going after Demetria. I do too. Yeah, I do too. So anyway, then Geneva's like, listen, I want you to know that Daisy was feeling kind of hurt because she was sharing and you were, you know, she didn't realize that when you're talking about strawberries, that that was actually a sincere moment from you. And she was feeling hurt. So what does Demetria do?

Daisy, get in here and bring your cancer with you. Instead of Demetria being like oh my god i feel terrible she's like daisy she just screams it like everyone has to stop like daisy has to come to her you know just that action alone really got under my skin like you like why don't you go to her if you if you know that someone's feeling bad like you go to them either way daisy came yeah she's like i'm not walking to anybody i've already been called fat today the cancer lady can walk to me all right yeah as proof that i'm not fat i will not move so um so then daisy comes and daisy explains again she's like i just kind of felt like uh you know like you were making comments and it just felt like you

like of everyone like you never even said to me like anything like, oh, my God, I'm sorry to hear this. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And to me, rather than Demetrius saying, you know, is a misunderstanding. I thought that like I didn't want to like say something when I wasn't invited to say something or yada, yada, yada. Instead, Demetrius like, fuck you. Essentially, she gets super defensive. This is like a Kim Richards argument in a way, even though Demetri is like, fuck you, essentially. She gets super defensive. Defensive cop. This is like a Kim Richards argument in a way, even though Demetria never drinks.

But she totally had Kim Richards argument where it's not her action. It's everybody else's reaction. She's like, well, I can't believe that you would disparage me like that and tell people that I'm someone who's heartless about cancer. You know, who does that? Who goes to other people? Especially on a day where they're planning for a really big deal. You know, I was in a castle today and Melissa was teaching me how to pose. And Melissa's like, yeah, I had her like touching her toes and like flicking her clit on the camera. Like a real model would do.

Don't ruin this day. It's like, why are you bringing Melissa to help you model? I'm sorry. I can't let that scene go. But yeah, Demetria is awful. It really bothered me that she turned it like that and that she was so unsympathetic.

I mean, it's crazy. And even Geneva, I was surprised that by the end of the day, Geneva was pretty like buddy-buddy with Demetria about the wedding thing. Listen, you're nice to the one you're afraid of. That's why we're always at war in this country. We just want people to like us.

Do you understand that? And it also proves your point because the moment that Demetria really got hit hard by Shanti, of course, she's like, I'm going to leave. I mean, leaving in tears, essentially, even though she wasn't crying. Yeah. The bully always goes running. Bye, doll. Yeah. though she wasn't crying yeah i'm talking like by doll by doll um yeah i mean look daisy gets on my nerves and i think she was really overreacting and expecting a little too much from someone wearing a quilt jacket on purpose as an adult yeah but at the same time i love daisy because

the girl the girl was praying in a turban and a wig okay it wasn't like a cancer it wasn't like a cancer turban where you're like i'm hiding my chemo head you know which you have to get sometimes it was like i'm gonna wear a wig and the turban yeah okay we get it you have cancer you have the most fabulous cancer that's ever been formed, darling. Yeah, I think, you know, it's pretty easy to nitpick at Daisy's situation and say, well, she didn't want to talk about cancer and now all of a sudden she wants to talk about it.

Well, you know, she didn't bother even telling Dimitri about it and now she expects Dimitri to do this and that. Those are all valid points, but I think at the end of the day, I can also respect that Daisy is probably an emotional wreck on the inside. She's tired. Yeah.

And I think that like she's feeling very sensitive and it kind of all caught up with her. And the point is, if Demetra wasn't compassionate when she needed to have been and and she's told, hey, you know what? I just want a little more compassion. I just want like if that was your way of showing compassion. I didn't feel it. I'm not getting it. Then, you know what i just want a little more compassion i just want like if that was your way of showing compassion i didn't feel it i'm not getting it then you know then she could have responded she could have done at least what melissa did at least melissa when at the end of the episode when daisy said to melissa look you know you don't come you don't ever come with me to any of my treatments you don't do this or that um and she kind of called out melissa melissa didn't get mad

at daisy melissa was like okay I'm going to make an effort. I'm going to change. That's how you respond in those situations. As annoying as Melissa is, she responded the correct way in my estimation. Yeah, I think so. But you know what? I mean, if we're going to understand Daisy getting emotional because she has cancer and stuff, and that's a disease, and I get it. Like, that's super that's a disease and i get it like that's super that makes sense you know but we have to understand that dimitria has a disease too and

you know she smiled that day earlier she actually smiled like two times and she's exhausted and she needs to lay down it's a big deal she was at a castle like deal the wedding like she doesn't really care about this wedding but by the way she's just gonna go to a photo shoot at a castle. It's a big deal. The wedding, like, she doesn't really care about this wedding. But by the way, she's just going to go to a photo shoot at a castle. That's all. And by the way, she's acting like she doesn't care about this wedding at all. Like, those photo shoots don't just come out of thin air. It's not like someone just finds her and is like, oh, by the way, we hear you're a bride. You know, the reason why they want to shoot her is she probably emailed them and was like, by the way, I'm getting married.

Can we do a photo shoot? Like, let's not ignore how that photo shoot came around. It's not like the people at this magazine were scouring the registries at Target. Yeah. You know, she sent out a group email to everyone. Like, I just tweeted you. Retweet it. Retweet it.

Okay. Because you notice how every episode is something like, oh, my God. Like, these people want to make me a cake. That's amazing. Oh, my God. These people want to do this for me. Oh, my God. these people want to make me a cake. That's amazing. Oh my god, these people want to do this for me. Oh my god, these people want to do this for me. That doesn't just happen. Sure, Bravo probably has a hand in it and Bravo probably pulled some strings.

But we all know that Demetria is soliciting this stuff. Well, I think you get free shit for being on Bravo. But I think a lot of it, they actually do pull those strings themselves. For sure. But I'm saying that I'm sure Bravo was like was like okay we need a scene with a cake tasting let's reach out to cake tasters and say who would be willing to give free cake if we can shoot in their store blah blah blah i'm sure i still want the scene of dimitri and the wendy's asking for free cake to taste because you know that shit half dimitri is going into every fucking place in town asking for a bite of cake and by the way more power

to her that's one thing I can get behind. Cake tasting. Do you hear me, Wendy's? It's a big deal. Sorry, ma'am. Please get out of the drive-thru. I am freaking out over the wedding. Greg is not going to be friends with you anymore. You are not invited to our wedding,

Wendy's. I'm freaking out, bitches. So that brings us to the end of a nice hour and a half episode about all things melbourne blood sweat heels cancer you know i mean got it all mama joyce yeah we really do and then on thursday i believe uh we will be talking about real housewives of new york we'll be talking about my latest burp which just happened we'll be talking about southern charm sh Shah's finale. And we'll probably cover some of that Kim Richards gossip. We've got a lot this week, actually.

I think Secrets and Wives starts tonight, doesn't it? Does it really, Ronnie? I think so, Ben. It just added a little time to our skidge. I think you're right. I better record that. Yeah, me too, actually. I'm going to tvguy.com right now, which y'all should go to get a beauty box.

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