Watch What Crappens - #200: WE MADE IT TO 200 EPISODES!!

Episode Date: July 8, 2015

"Watch What Crappens" has turned 200, and to celebrate, Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com) and Ben Mandelker (The Banter Blender) spend over two hours reminiscing on their favorite jokes and moments from the podcast. Along the way, the two also recap the latest episode of "Real Housewives of Orange County," which features Vicki sadly losing her mother (and Shannon hilariously losing her mind). Then it's on to "Married to Medicine" as Lisa Nicole throws a glass at Quad, and all hell breaks loose. It's a jam packed podcast (and we even have audio from our very first show). Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crap is. Crap is.

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Watch what crappens. Watch what crappens. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? watch i'm ben mandelker from b-side blog.com and the banter blender and joining me as always and when i say as always i mean it's 200 episodes this is episode 200 of watch what crap is and joining me that little voice you just heard is the wonderful the funny the just the the hilarious ronnie carom from trash talk tvcom. Hey, Ronnie, what's up? Well, thank you, Ben. I've sure missed you. I missed you, too.

I was so upset I couldn't podcast last week because all the shows were funny, although I still have not caught up on Secrets and Wives yet. And you got to podcast with some of the best people around. You had Amy Phillips from Watch What Happens. You had Stephanie Wilder-Taylor from Crying Out Loud. Crying Out Loud Beach. Also super funny. And then you snuck in a Secret Malls episode.

Oh, I was so jealous. Well, I was so scared when you were leaving because I thought, oh my God, these shows are so long now. If we just do you know a half hour episode with somebody that's not gonna work and these guests are not gonna want to stay on forever and you know what they all every single one of them did it was amazing we ended up having like 12 hours of podcast last week oh my god you know what what? You could not have picked better guests. And I was just truly, truly jealous.

You've got to pick your faves, Ben. I know. Here we go on the lonely trip all by myself. Ben's gone. Skype's killed Ben. I'm right here. And now he's dead. I'm right here.

You know, there could be no better way to start our 200th episode than a technical failure right out of the gate. That's how we do it at Watch What Crap Is. If this is your first time, that's how we do it. Either way, you had some great guests. By the way, we have to do another episode with Angie because she is also wonderful and she also belongs in that top tier of wonderful people.

Anyway, I've had my coffee. I'm going out of town soon, so keep that girl in mind yeah absolutely well we have an austin show coming up later this month it looks like we're gonna be doing an austin show we you know what at this point it's so late that we're just gonna do an austin show i don't care if it's in a cul-de-sac somewhere with a megaphone and it actually would be fitting if it wasn't a cul-de-sac somewhere with a megaphone for this show. I don't care if we're doing it in the food court of the Galleria. We're doing it.

That'll be either July 24th or 25th. Yeah. I'm very, very excited about that. It's going to be our own private South by Southwest. It's crappenfest. Austin crappenfest. Yeah, crap by crap west. Crap by crap west.. Crap by Crap West.

I'm really excited for that. And I'm just excited to be reunited with you, Ronnie. You are, you know, it's been 200 episodes. And, you know, I have to say, if I can just be sentimental for one moment, you are just a wonderful podcast co-host. You just, you really, you are so funny and uh i love how you speak your mind and you also do so much stuff for the podcast stuff that people don't even see so i have to be just i just have to give you a big thank you ben i love you we've never taken vows but i wish we could renew our vows right now. Because as we've learned from Bravo, that always helps a relationship.

Even if you break up with me, I will always bring mustard packets to you just in case you come back. Ben, I love you, baby. Aw, thanks, Ronnie. Well, Ben, actually, thank you for not only being a good co-host, but for kind of building the life that i lead because i never would even be doing anything i'm doing had it not been for uh tvgasm and liking you on there and then writing for you there and then starting all this stuff you started our podcast you've started basically the website i restarted later you've given me a whole life bin oh ronnie i'm just so glad that um i was able to give you that life and then you could become funnier than me and take over.

You didn't just give a man a fish, Ben. You taught him how to call that fish a bitch. And I thank you, Ben. I taught that fish how to fish. I taught that fish had a fish. So it is our 200th episode, but we still have to do a little bit of housekeeping as usual. Come to our Facebook page, facebook.com. Facebook.com, in case you didn't know how that ended.

Forward slash Watch What Crap Is. Super fun. We're up to 4,300 likes on that page. Out of control. People, that, not only is it an active community, it is actually more active than I thought. So I was gone for the past week. I was very lucky. My friend invited me to Nantucket. So I was on, in Waspy Wonderland. And when I was in Nantucket, I saw Ali, well, Ali Shapiro, who's Jill Zarin's daughter. I saw her at a brewery. And I was like, oh my God, that's so funny. No matter where you go, Bravo's there.

So I post about this on our Facebook page. I said, just saw Ali Zarin in Nantucket. Can't escape Bravo. A totally benign but kind of funny thing. Bravo's everywhere, right? And so everyone starts making these jokes. They start being like, was she at Fat Camp or something like that? thing like it's bravo's everywhere right and so everyone starts making these jokes they start being like what was she at fat camp or something like that because season one of real housewives

of new york city jill zarin sent ally to fat camp i believe i think that i i double checked that i looked it up on the internet and it said so in the newspapers there's that was the story point so everyone was making that joke but i I guess maybe Jill forgot or whatever. But Jill, Jill Zarin, actually came to our Facebook page and was like, are you guys all sickos? Yeah, you sick? You people need to go get a life. Now, and by the way, I think she's entitled to say that because, you know, I think she's a mother. And, you know, I think mothers are allowed to be mama bears.

I mean, in this crowd. But it was funny because the response of our listeners was like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Shut up, Jules. Everyone just went crazy on her. And so then she writes again. She was like, I think I thought this was going to be a nice comment about Allie. And instead it's a bunch of mean commenters. Y'all need to get a life.

And she's not exactly wrong. I mean, I definitely need to get a life. If I had a life, I wouldn't be doing this show in the first place, okay? At least you found yourself on Google, Jill. So that just goes to show that our Facebook page has now started to be infiltrated by the Housewives themselves. In the best possible way. No one is really calling ally fat i looked her up because i was like oh my god did like how fat is ally that this is even an issue so what so she's a big girl she's gorgeous she's not even a big girl she she she's a beautiful girl she looks good to me i mean i have no problem with it she looked totally lovely and you know what she's living the life because she's you know like i was up on nantucket like it was like

it was like an aberration like that's not what my life is but you know you can tell she gets to go to nantucket a lot so good for her ali you're living the life and you're wonderful the coffee's kicking in um personal nothing personal. We're not holding your mother's sins against you. The other thing is you can support us on Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash watch where crap ends. And you get access to a bonus episode every week,

which is really cool. And other cool things like ringtones and access to a Google Hangout. And we also have some premium tier subscriptions. And we have to give a shout out to our premium sponsors. This episode is brought to you all in part by Claudia Catalina and Christy Daugherty. Daugherty? Did I say that wrong?

For an extra $100, we'll say your name right. For an extra... Yeah, Christy. So chip another $10. I'll say it right. i'll say it right next time christy okay i like that hustling him down so uh christine claudia thank you thank you thank you and a couple more things while we're acting like we've won something um i would also like to thank uh all the people on patreon because you've actually made this a living and thank you to everybody who's helped this podcast grow. We're actually on iTunes hot list all the time now, which is amazing.

That's all I've really wanted in life. I know. We hit number five last week. I couldn't believe it. Crazy. And also, I would like to say, hey, Matty Whitfield, our old co-host Matthew Whitfield, who had to leave for his facial surgery that he left for and never came back from. Just kidding. Matt was here for like 90-something episodes and we love you, Matt.

We miss you every day. People have been asking about Matt on his Facebook a lot and the only reason Matt hasn't been on is because he's been so busy at work. But we do keep asking and we will get his ass back. He got himself a nice little promotion. So, you know what? Good for him. The hard work has been paying off. He got himself a nice old promotion. So you know what?

Good for him. The hard work has been paying off. Yeah, so you go, boy. Don't forget the little ones, even though you already did. Now he came on our Facebook today. Love you, Matty. So anyway, today's episode,

we have Married to Medicine, which had a hilarious brawl in the middle of it. We'll talk about that. And then we had Real Houses of Orange County, which was so funny until all of a sudden it became very sad. I'm like, great. Happy 200th episode. Let's talk about Vicky's mom dying. And even worse, Shannon probably cleans that floor herself.

She's probably going to be in there all night obsessing over the mascara all over the tile, telling her. We're like, David, David, I can't sleep, David. There's still mascara down there. There's still mascara on the tile. I feel it, David. I feel it. David.

But before we do all that, we have decided, since it's our 200th episode, to sort of do some go down memory lane a little bit and talk about our favorite things from some of our favorite bravo episodes if that makes sense i don't even know how we're going to condense this we don't know we made a list we we made a list of like our favorite jokes from bravo shows and we're gonna we were going to act them out in scenes and we don't even know what to do. Yeah, we don't really know. We're going to stumble through this. We're going to talk about them. Oh, and also I'm putting up today my Luann Girl Code parody

and it turned out that it's not really a parody. It's just a whole other song called Girl Code that also happens to sound like Luann kind of. But for whatever reason, it took me five years and it's finished and it'll be up on your podcast feed or if you want to download it as a song mp3 just uh search watch what crappens in the music section on itunes and you'll find it there so that's our little 200th anniversary gift there yeah um so uh i guess we're gonna go through we'll go through

like a few of these shows that we we have fond memories from. First, we have to start with Gallery Girls, which is it still stands as probably one of my very favorite Bravo shows of all time. And we never, it wasn't around long enough for us to have any significant ongoing gags, except just to always refer to it as

Gargoyles. Gargoyles. Gargoyles. Gargoylesles and also i don't drink wine for it what are you 15 you've been drinking wine for like a year seriously dude i know just drink wine from portland i um it was funny i was reminiscing on gargles today and i realized that if you say goggles fast enough it actually sounds like you're saying goggles goggles yeah goggles goggles what would you like to get from the store at goggles previously on goggles i miss that show my friend be my friend be my friend i'm so into it i'm so into galleries i know everybody in the art world what was that girl's name that was amy oh remember amy remember what that for amy was always like getting doors

slammed in her face and not invited to things and then having parties in that weird old lady apartment from her grandma oh getting too drunk i remember remember uh liz remember how um annoyed liz we got some asians stepped on my painting one of these stupid asians stepped on my painting liz i miss that show so much and i think one of the biggest tributes we could give that show we've already done and that was reviewing Chantal's LA experience in her review of LA experience which is somewhere in these episodes I think it's one of the bonuses

yeah I think it was you have to do some googling googling art bossal I can't believe Amy booked a Chili's for our art boss show this is so embarrassing I can't even find booked a Chili's for our Art Basel show. This is so embarrassing. I can't even find the irony in appreciating the art in this class.

You guys, Chili's is art too. You know, anything's art if you just look at it through the right eyes. Be my friend, be my friend, be my friend. That girl has the lowest ranking on Evite. If Evite had rankings, poor Amy would be at the bottom. It's just like, decline, decline, decline. Poor Amy.

I'm sorry, I don't eat fajitas that are from Portland. That's my Chantal impersonation. What kind of fun do you have? I hope it's not from Oregon. I don't know. Also, Shazza Sunset. It's funny.

We don't actually have a lot of running jokes that I can remember from Shazza Sunset, except, of course, it's going, that's so Persian. That's so Persian. Look at that white person going up the escalator. That's so Persian. Elevators. Elevators are weird, Dad. White people love wine from Oregon, but Persians are

like, yo, give me that wine from France. That's so Persian. Americans really like getting their gas from Chevron, and that's just the kind of wallpaper Persians like. That's so Persian. White people like to put Chevron into their gas tanks. Persians like to put it onto their ties. That's so Chevron. I'm in Persians. to put it onto their ties that's so chevron i'm in persia that was white sometimes because then my boyfriend would be interested in me instead of freeballing porn you know american freeball porn that's so white only white people do that persians love underwear underwear so persian sometimes i look at this sometimes i look at sliders and chevron all together and I just jerk off. That's really hot to me.

That's so Persian. That's so Persian. I knew that it was time to go to America when they almost arrested me for jerking off to a Chevron sign. Iran? Iran. I love that you just. I love that you just fed a line to Reza. Line, please!

Iran! Iran! Someone needs to feed me lines! I can't take it! I'm leaving! This is so stressful! The only lines that I like to have fed to me are ones that have 90 degree angles so they're not all connected. Because I love Chevron!

That's so Persian! And also mayonnaise! If you're going to feed me a a line put some mayonnaise on it home girl oh no go ahead no i was just gonna say homegirl loves i was just gonna say homegirl loves chevron it's this it's just the same thing over and over again that's so persian white people call it mayonnaise and iran we call it mayonnaise. In Iran, we call it breakfast. Mayonnaise is so purrish. I wanted to say I went to see Magic Mike this weekend for a birthday party. Oh, I haven't seen it yet. Not because I'm a pervert.

That was the most amazing movie I've ever seen. The audience went crazy. And Reza even showed up in this movie, at least in my mind. Well, at least Adam did. Because there's one part. Everyone's screaming and yelling during this whole movie, okay? And then there's this one part where they show the wolf guy from true blood whatever that gorgeous hunk of man is he's walking towards the camera and he's free balling and his subtext his sub story what what am i trying to say his story is that he's got a

huge one and he can't find a vagina big enough for it. So he's walking towards the camera and he was freeballing and that thing almost hit the camera and I'm noticing because now I'm looking at everyone's wieners to see if they're freeballing because the shot's a sunset. And he was. And I was like, Yeah! I started screaming and yelling freeball in the

movie theater and no one else did. It was just me. So thanks for ruining magic mike for me you're just like a single you're just like a single penis flopping around in the empty void of swim sweatpants helping me to be um turned on now by just people not wearing underwear now and now i do now if we move on to, if we continue down memory lane,

I wish we had a little jazz ensemble here to score this, but if we go to Real Houses of New Jersey, for some reason, I couldn't remember a lot of our running jokes, but the only one that came to mind was talking about Caface or Caface and Lauren Manzest making egg salad in the back and i love that we just have an ongoing joke about everything anytime lauren manzo is mentioned

it's like she's in the process of making egg salad or serving it or eating it just this joke that evolved over time i think think it was when she was first making cat face, we just imagine it as being this grotesque salon where you walk in and it smells like egg salad. And then from there, the joke is- Well, pretty much, because she's like, I'm making a salon because I like business and I do business.

And my salon is not going to be just a salon. You can also buy a pashmina or a hair clip or, I don't know, a trip to Disneyland, egg salad. You can have eggs. It's like, what are you doing? It's like that store has everything. It's like a Spencer's. I just imagine women getting their makeup done

while chowing down on egg salad. It just seems so perfect. Once you come to cafeses, you're... You guys, the most amazing thing happened on our 200th episode. We were ranting about Cafes and egg salad when there was a sudden power outage because I'm here in the suburbs of New York. And basically, I didn't have power for several hours here at the house. And now this podcast has morphed into one of our famous and rare late night podcasts, at least for me. Yep. It's normal time for Ron.

It is for you. It feels like it for me. I'm on my fourth venti iced coffee with two pumps of sugar-free hazelnut for the day, darling. free hazelnut for the day darling um and the funny thing the the best part about all of this is that when this happened uh we were able to get onto facebook and i i wrote on facebook i said quick update a power outage in my parents place has resulted in a production delay waiting for the fine utility people to remove the twig that caused all the chaos it happened mid egg salad cafe's rant so then everyone just started writing the funniest stuff on our Facebook wall.

First, Jennifer O'Donnell, I think. I think she's the one who got it started. She goes, David, David, you better remove that twig from our lives, David. David, you promised you would never see that twig again. And then she just goes, the next comment is just, David? To which we reply, David, David,

I have feelings about that twig. David, I'm trying to stop my feelings. David. David. And then Karen Donaldson Zarowitz cracked me up. Her response was, okay, Miss 30-year-old, which is going to be my new default response to anything. And then Kat Scheele said, that twig was my olive branch to you. How dare you blame it?

Then Patricia Murdoch says, I don't have to explain myself to a 30-year-old tree. Okay, Miss 30-year-old birch. Then Patricia Murdoch says, David, did you prune the trees, David? David, did you call the landscaper? David, David. Hey, tree, why don't you come back to me

when you've got more rings? All right. And then Jennifer O'Donnell goes, I'm having a lot of negative thoughts towards trees right now, David. Hey, tree, why don't you come back to me when you've got more rings? All right? And then Jennifer O'Donnell goes, I'm having a lot of negative thoughts towards trees right now, David. And then Patricia Murdoch decides to change the game from Shannon. She goes into Ramona. She goes, one time I was in the suburbs, okay? And my father told me to go out in the yard, okay? And there was a storm.

And I had to hide under a tree. And a twig blew off the tree and almost hit me in the head okay and that's why twigs remind me of my father and i can never go to the suburbs or the bronx botanical gardens okay and then art and then arty curthy she she just decides to just go marriage medicine with it she goes what you should did was you should have had a sandwich in which case and then betsy luna went to princess's long island she goes help send the plane sarah over says so the podcast is paralyzed oh my god so funny and then nicole braverman uh well, Julie Stark took it to the Countess place and said, tell that twig to be cool.

Don't be all like uncool. And then Nicole Braverman finished it out with a little Miami action saying, tell the utilities to tear it down and we'll invoice you later. My dad's now in the next room, by the way, and can probably hear all of this and probably thinks it's the strangest thing he's ever heard well he's heard it before has i mean not the

podcast but he's heard you doing it before hasn't he i'm sure i'm sure but it's probably always strange every single time yeah i saw my neighbor just coming home so if i get into a screaming match in the middle of this well i guess it would probably be fitting for this day yeah um wow so this 200th episode is really, it's taken, it's really gone in an epic place. There have been, you know,

storms. There have been, you know, trees going down. I saw a turtle. Ben got a culotta and saw a turtle. Yeah, that's right.

That's how I spent the, that's how I spent the, spent the power outage. I saw a turtle and I went and got a culotta in honor of New Jersey. The culottas. Jersey.

Oh, my God. All right. Well, we're going to be here until episode 207. Bam. Yeah. Why don't we start recapping one of these shows? We're going to, over the course of the episode, we're going to go back to some of our favorite Bravo running gags. But in the meantime, why don't we get going?

Why don't we get going with Real Housewives of Orange County? Should we start with Real Housewives of Orange County? Oh, my God. Can we just pretend that nobody died on this episode? Because that was ridiculous. I was like, what? Poor Shannon. You know, she finally gets it together to have a party.

And it's nice even to the Miss 30-year-old. And then someone dies. Don't ever play Bunko. These bitches need to switch to Canasta. Nothing bad happens in Canasta. Yeah, Bunko is just bad news at this point. I'll leave it to Vicky to

show up everyone with the bad news department. Ouch. Actually, Vicky's made both Bunko parties awkward. This one wasn't her fault. At least she wasn't dressed like Cyndi Lauper this time. That would have been awful. If they were in that 80s party and then this happened, oh my god.

Sobbing on the floor dressed like old lady Madonna. Total disaster. Well, why don't we start at the beginning um okay well i took um a note on every single thing that happened today i've got 10 page notes i don't know why i was laughing and laughing and laughing it's basically a note for every box that poor megan had to pack stupid megan okay so did you get a chance to listen to the entire Amy Phillips episode? No, I did not. Okay, because she did a Megan impression

because she hasn't done one yet. So she was like working it out on the show and it was so funny. And now I can't get it out of my head. It's just basically over enunciating every little thing. And it's hilarious because it's all I can hear now. She's like, of course, Jim isn't tired from packing the boxes because Jim never packs the boxes. Packs the boxes.

Megan is such a stupid spoiled brat. I love how her big issue is that no one compliments her when you move she's like you know i don't like moving no one compliments you while you move i'm like well yeah no one compliments you in most parts of your life you know i get used to it probably because it's awkward giving them it's awkward giving somebody compliments when they're just bossing around a bunch of illegals like what do you think megan she's like jim doesn't help me at all he just thinks there's a magic fairy that does all this. I'm like, there are magic fairies.

They're called illegal immigrants, and they deserve a right to vote. Okay, Megan? She's just not used to people handling her box without saying something first. Getting vulgar. It's a little vulgar one for everyone. A little boxing. Well, Jim's used to sharing her box. Jim's used to sharing boxes.

Megan is so annoying. She is exactly the sort of person who has absolutely nothing going on in their lives, so they have to busy it with faux drama about the movie. Like, oh, Jim never has to pack it. I'm the one who always has to do all the packing. I'm the one who packs from this place to that place. I'm the one who does all the movie. Like, oh, Jim never has to pack it. I'm the one who always has to do all the packing. I'm the one who packs from this place to that place. I'm the one who does all the packing. He doesn't understand how hard it is

because he just says, pack this and I make a list. He pays for the groceries. A bag boy puts them in a bag. Okay, bag boy? Now get to bagging. You didn't buy that house, bitch. She's crazy.

I like how she also describes everything. It's like she's such a drama queen. She describes every little thing that happens like it's something momentous. She's saying, I'm packing. Okay, so first I pack everything and then I unpack it. You know that's how everybody does it, right, Megan? You know that's how everybody does it, right? She's like, I have to know exactly which box all the faux Tuscan housewares are in.

I need to know where my fleur-de-lis are at all times. I have lists for every single thing I got from Steinmart. I know which boxes. I need to know where my sassy margarita glasses are at any time so i have these lists i'm surprised she's packing everything why did she just burn that damn house to the ground it's all the ex-wives things anyway why that's what i'm thinking number three things yeah she's just chuck it over the cliff wait is she wife number three or wife number four i forgot um i don't know i think i think you have to stop counting after the tenth move. She's just a woman.

She's like Sonia's technology room. There's computer number three and wife number six in mansion number eight. Wife number six with a Sharpie putting her name on the back of everything. So Megan can never have peace. Jim Edmonds is like like which one is megan again like the one with the sharpie making a list oh yes the one i have in southern california well i was so busy today i went to the store i had to buy an onion and i had to buy celery i went into the paper section it was hard it was really hard i mean i had to decide between

peanut m&ms and regular m&ms. And then I remembered, I don't even eat. Which looks better in the toilet later? Peanut M&Ms or pretzel? I had a really hard day. I was thinking, does it really take 2,000 flushes? Should I buy this? I got a toilet paper that says, I only bought it because it says on the package, cleans more. And I was like, wow, what was my previous toilet paper missing?

Thanks, new toilet paper. I'm going to have an even cleaner butt. Is this a Ronnie testimony or Ronnie as Megan testimony? I can't tell. No, it's actually me. It just reminded me of being at Target. I don't know why megan probably goes to the supermarket she's like you know i never buy charming because no one ever says that i'm charming so why should i have to the paper that's charming

jim never calls me charming now i'm going to miss shannon david david why are i charming david have you been hanging out with bears? David, David. David, why do those bears have toilet paper on their butts? David, David. Do you remember what wife number one wiped their ass with? Because I want that. And I don't want her name on it. I want my own.

Jim, I want my toilet paper to be three-ply. I don't want it because I'm wife number three. One ply for each wife. I'm not going to use the same toilet paper that your wife used. You know, we get three-ply, but I take off the other two-plies, and so I just wad up a bunch of one-plies. Jim, I resent the fact that you get quilted northern, okay, because that is where your wife is from. I would like quilted St. Louisian, please. Oh, honey, there's no such thing as quilted Louisian toilet paper. Well, then make it. It's for charity.

She's not busy. It's for charity, Jim. I want you to create quilted St. Louisiana toilet paper for charity, please. I want everybody to bring their favorite toilet paper to a charity party. And whichever ones I don't like, we're going to give to poor people. Jim, it'll be like, well, I saved this toilet paper I was supposed to bring to this party that you just invited me to, but you didn't have me, so

well, I just wiped my butt with it. But it's here on the kitchen counter if you need it. Megan's like, hi, Shannon, this is Megan King. I'm calling because I hear you've used toilet paper before and I wanted to get some recommendations on my toilet paper charity party. Who's this? Who's this? I can't talk about butt cracks right now my children are in the car my children are in the

car kids don't listen to that no dr moon you've been the one who you're the one who most recently had your hand in my ass have you been talking calling megan which was amazing because shannon's calling megan from like the first wife's office like what the fuck was that room it was like previously on gina davis's like state of madame secretary show It was like every... It was clearly like, they're like, well, this Geena Davis show has been canceled.

Should we give it to the... the one that's on CBS now? No, let's just ship it down to Orange County and put it in Shannon Bedore's house. I am not making sense anymore, by the way. I am like...

That made sense. That made sense to me. It's 11 o'clock. By the way, I haven't had dinner. Somehow I did not have dinner. My eating schedule is messed up. Oh no, that makes you hangry. It's 11 o'clock. By the way, I haven't had dinner. Somehow I did not have dinner. My eating schedule is messed up. Oh, no. That makes you hangry.

I haven't eaten today either. I've eaten like 100 gallons of coffee. I'm actually feeling dizzy and high from the coffee. So yay, caffeine. You go, girl. I had a slice of pizza and my culotta around 5.30. So I'm like ready for my next meal now. And instead, I'm just going to be saying loopy things on this podcast.

Best number 200. Yay. Well, if I have a heart attack during this podcast, just be sure to call the emergency room and tell them to pour a little heavy cream into me to thin my blood out. Either way, it's oh my God, my mom's calling me now. She doesn't realize I'm podcasting. I'm busy. You're not taking your call from your mother unless it's on the podcast.

No, my mom is literally calling out my name down the hallway. I hope she comes into your room and we can ask her what she thinks about Shannon's office. Shannon's like, Hello, Megan. This is Shannon B. Dorr. I'm calling from Michelle Obama's office. I hope you're with wife number one's

kitchen office. Is that fun for you? How's that, Megan? How's that, little 30-year-old? Miss 30-year-old. Megan's like, who's this? Hello, Megan. I'm calling from an antique desk that's nine times your age, Miss 30-year-old.

Miss 30-year-old. Hello, this is Miss 350-year-old Furniture calling for Miss 30-year-old. Miss 30-year-old IKEA. Meanwhile, Megan is... This is the first wife's desk calling for the third wife's desk. Please hold for the first wife's desk. David never married that

mistress, all right? This is still the first wife's desk. Suck it, Megan. Suck it, 30-year-old. Hey, I've got a lollipop. It was made just for 30-year-olds. Suck it, Megan. Little 30-year-old David. David. Stop sucking that popsicle, David. Damn it, David. Hello, Megan King Edmonds. I have feelings about this popsicle.

Megan King Edmonds, please hold for the office for Marilyn Quayle. Thank you. David. I really... Marilyn Quayle. I really wish that Shannon had just called Megan and Megan said, hello, and she just said, who's this? She can't even remember who she's calling.

I just wanted Sharon to make crank calls across Orange County. Just when people answer like, hello, she goes, I start charities, just hangs up. I start charities. Shannon's robo call.

Hello, this is Shannon Bedore, and I start charities. David? David? Who's this? You called me. No, I'm pretty sure you called me. Thank you. Bye. And that's all programmed into the robocall. There's like a space for people to respond. Who's this? Why am I calling you?

Why am I calling you just for you to sell me something? Why am I calling you? Why am I calling you just for you to sell me something? Why am I calling you? Why am I calling you? My kids are in the car. Crash. This is a robo call to let you know that Shannon Bedore is waiting at home waiting for David. David, if you've seen David, please send him here. Thank you. Signed, Michelle Obama.

This is Shannon Bedore calling for the girl on the beach. I'm not speaking to you because David and I promised each other we wouldn't speak to you, so just listen to this silence, please. David. David, stop trying to take the phone from me, David. No, you promised not to talk to her, David. Hello, this is Shannon Bedora calling just to let you know that if you're the girl

on the beach and if David walked by you and didn't say anything, that's because he promised not to say anything to you for the rest of his life. Otherwise, I walk out that door. David? David? I walk right out that door, get a thumb up my butt from Dr. Moon, and then I'll be back the next day to make him feel horrible forever. I like that

she acts like leaving is the worst thing that could happen to him. That guy is just waiting. He's just waiting. She's like, I am walking right out that door and going to the chandelier store and I'm just going to sit there amongst the light. Thank you, David. If he talks to that

girl on the beach one more time, I am putting Bluetooth in that chandelier and every time he tries to take a nap without me there, I'm going to make it go up and down very slowly. And that's it. That's final, David. So anyway, this is going to be the longest episode of all time.

Thank you, number 200, Shannon Bidor calls somebody. So Shannon calls up Megan, and she is so passive-aggressive. It's that whole, like, oh, well, I heard you had a great party the other night that you didn't invite me to. Anyway, I want to invite you to Bunko Night.

And Megan... Hey, Shannon Bidor, i hope you enjoyed your party was that fun was that great i hope a lot of poor people were helped i hope i hope you raise a lot of money for those poor people without the wine that i was going to bring and i've been invited megan megan megan megan so then megan of course course Megan is so awful though because Megan is like wow well uh I'm quite frankly I'm a little surprised because you know um I you know I thought you just kind of flew off the handle and I don't know I I I want you I feel like you need to prove yourself to me she says basically to to Shannon like I'll go but I'm afraid that you're gonna go off off the handle so i'll go but you're gonna have to prove to me that you won't at which point shannon says shannon's like listen shannon i assure you you will be safe here what the hell yeah i won't beat you shannon it just comes and i

will not beat you i like that she's talking to herself, though. I like that idea that she's telling herself that she's going to a safe place. Shannon, you're not going to think a negative thought today. It's going to be a negative free thought day if you can do it. Oh, that was a negative thought. I already ruined it. All right, Shannon, we'll talk tomorrow. But I love also that I love how Shannon is just

muttering to herself afterwards, like, prove myself to a 30-year-old. She's so mad. She's so mad she's so mad but then the best part is that we leave we leave them and you're like oh okay so then we go to vicky balls on her i swear to god people are assholes she just walks off like cursing like a crazy old meth head on the street she's like i'm going to the rose garden because you know that shannon's just talking to the pas all the time they're probably like, I'm going to the Rose Garden. Because you know that Shannon's just talking to the PAs all the time. They're probably like, Shannon, the PAs

are not in this scene. Please stop talking to the PAs. And she's like, well, that one's looking at me. It's the cameraman. Please stop talking to him. You know Shannon's the type that if she's in a supermarket and she's walking down the front of the aisles and then someone just comes out of an aisle with a cart and cuts her

off and goes into another aisle. She's the one who bulges her eyes and goes, she's like, people around here. You know she's the one who gets exasperated. What happened to the world? Shannon's that kind of person to go to a grocery store and when they're like, we need a price check on aisle two, she'd be like,

aisle two, aisle two, price check, aisle two, where's price check? Price check, price check, would you get over here? Price check, price check, aisle two. Where's price check? Price check. Price check. Would you get over here? Price check. Price check. Aisle two need you, price check.

Price check. She's the type that goes up to the clerk and is like, I'm sorry. I just can't find the boneless trout fillets. Can you just show me where they are? Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. We don't carry them. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What was that? We don't carry the boneless trout fillets. I mean, this is a supermarket. I mean, how do you not have boneless trout? I mean, David? David. David. Shanna's the kind of person at the supermarket when they say paper or plastic, she goes, what do you think?

And they say, plastic. And she's like, you don't know me at all. You don't know me at all. I don't appreciate this. You don't even know me. Who are you? Who am I? Who knows? Dr. Moon.

She's the one who goes down the express lines. She goes, I like to go down the express lines because it's 10 items or fewer, which is sort of the amount of loving memories that I have of David these days. David? David? 10 negative thoughts or fewer today, David? I love the express line because when it's 10 items or fewer, I just think,

oh my gosh, this is like sending one of David's mistresses down the line. And I'm getting over it. Nine, getting over it. Eight, he talked to eight. I almost killed him for talking to eight, but then I forgot about it because that's what forgiveness is. That's what forgiveness is. You know, one of the reasons why I don't have a loyalty card to Trader Joe's is because it reminds me of the loyalty card that David had to his mistress on the beach. David? David?

One more stamp and he would have had a free girl to talk to on the beach, and I will not stand for that, David. David? David? He had $3.96 of savings with her. David? David? Doesn't make sense. Anyway, so I don't think

we're going to make sense for the rest of this podcast, by the way, so anybody who's thinking of having a nice organized day, not going to happen. Bye. Thanks for coming by at 200. This podcast will come out late, but you'll get 300% more podcasts as a result of it. So then we go to Vicky and Tamara doing a Hydra quench, which is just a phrase I don't ever want to use with those two women. Yeah, Hydra or Quench. Yeah.

I don't want to think of them swallowing or quenching anything. Thank you. And they had hot marshmallow lathered on top of them. And just in case it wasn't unappetizing enough, we then got to see Vicky's butt. Full-on Vicky butt. Oh, my God. No kidding.

She's like, oh, you know, I'm going to show you guys this because I can't show Brooks right now because he's not allowed to eat cottage cheese. So Vicky and tamra i love that vicky's first line is oh i've been working a lot how about you tamra way to stay in character it's like every time they show her how are you vicky oh gosh you know but there was a staple stuck today that just put something in my whole day my whole day was gab basically oh you know i also like that tamra was saying how she's showing how she's like yeah well you know i keep my real estate license you know going because you know i like doing it i'm like no that means that no one's going to cut fitness we understand the way these they work you know

pretty much no one's really into your uneven cut fitness floor. She's like, cut fitness where your planks are never even. See you there. Difference between the grandkids and kids. I like that because Tamara's about to have a grandkid, which I love because you know that's just fucking killing her inside. She's like, what's the difference between having

a grandkid? How's it different from having a kid? Vicky's like, well, the grandkid can't kick Brooks out of the house. You know, that's for sure. I bring Brooks around to get the grandkid and he doesn't even care. He doesn't say anything. I mean, that's what a grandkid's for. You'll love it.

You'll love it. So then after that, then we go to a scene where Heather is taking her kids to the hair salon, which then somehow segued into Heather talking about how, well, you know, Terry's not around that much anymore because he's so busy working and he's doing botched also. And so now like, it's just one more thing on my plate. I'm like, just hold on a second, Heather. Don't act like you're so busy here. Your, your kids are getting their haircut and you're just standing around. Like are not like it's not like you are putting off like piles of paperwork or or or patience or anything like that you if you were not taking your kids get their haircut you know

what you'd be doing absolutely nothing you'd be playing one player bunco games in your closet you'd be staring at reruns of malibu Country memorizing all of Reba's lines. Don't front, bitch. Don't front. Yeah, exactly. You'd be doing nothing. Also, don't make plate metaphors, okay, Heather? Don't. Just don't do it. Miss never eats.

Miss 30. Miss 30. Miss 30-year-old 30 years ago. Miss 30-calorie-year-old. Also, Miss Think Tank. I like how Heather prefaces this whole thing with not, she's not getting the kids a haircut. She's, she's like,

well, I'm getting the kids a haircut. And you know, normally I take them to an inexpensive place because I'm one of you. I'm just like one of you. Yeah. It's like, normally you're at super cuts,

Heather, bitch, please get out of here. Well, the other thing is, I mean, like I get it, like,

you know, kids, you know, usually kids get janky haircuts until they get to a certain age. And then it's like, okay, we'll start giving them a good haircut. But she makes it, she made it sound like, she's like, well, you know, I've been taking them to, you know, super cuts for eight years. But, you know, time comes when they're finally ready to have a nice haircut. They cut to, like, Colette and Coco or whatever her name is, Cosette.

And she's, like, three years old. I'm like, I don't think it's time. Like it's, it's fine if you want to give her a nice haircut, but she doesn't need one at three. She doesn't, she doesn't need one for a few years. How about you teach her to stop biting fingers off the nanny

and shitting on the floor first. Okay. And then we'll get back to hair. Yeah. Although I did like Coco's haircut, I must admit. They were all pretty, but that's,

it's weird when kids have hair that pretty like hair that that's this that done and blown out they look weird yeah it was a little strange it was a little strange kids need to have stringy hair and boogers on their face that's all i don't want to see your kid looking like a glamour shot yeah little boys should all have bowl cuts like i did yeah totally you should be forced to be ugly when you're a child all right it evens the score yeah and i don't think kids should have clothes from gap kids kids should wear clothes that's like awkward and strange and was from like a tag sale or a hand-me-down and does not look right like i don't like all these kids in trendy outfits no i don't like that at all yeah

no more kids he's talking about how famous terry is now she's like you know when my eight years ago, my agent told me, Heather, are you going to be an actress or a star? And I decided an actress because, you know, I'm realer like that. But Terry, Terry just wants to be a star. Terry loves being famous.

Yeah. As opposed to you, you stupid bitch. As opposed to you who's building a house just to have a storyline because no one will speak to you in the offseason, dumb bitch. And then they cut to Terry. They cut to Terry and Paul in the office. And I love Botch because I've never seen it. So I love even little clips of it.

But what they chose to show, her vagina is right below her belly because her surgery grew back wrong. And then Paul's like, her vagina is below her belly? And Terry's like, yeah. And they could just intercut that at any moment in the show and really be talking about anybody, because you know that Brooks is constantly putting his penis in that belly button,

just trying to find the right place. Where is it, honey? Where does Gretchen have it? Should I call her? It's like when you stick your finger into a balloon that has been inflated the whole way. where does gretchen have it should i call her it's like when you stick your finger into an under under like like a like a balloon that has been inflated the whole way you know how it just sticks in you're like is this a hole nope nope it's coming back it's coming back it's like most

households lose their remote control in the couch but these women lose their vaginas because they keep getting it moved yeah put the keys in the bowl all right so we'll always remember where the keys are by the way this is jumping ahead a little bit but talking about that whole scene with with uh the husbands that was like one of the most meta scenes of all time it was heather going to a reality show shoot like a different reality show shoot and we watched as she shot a scene for a whole different reality show on this reality show. That was some deep meta shit going on there. That was definitely some Lisa Kudrow the comeback shit right there.

And it was just like the acting in it was just as awkward because with the cameras behind the cameras, you actually see how much Heather is acting every time she's on camera. She's like a bad community theater actor. Yeah, it was definitely like we were going through some weird wormhole at that point but anyway um so back to uh back to earlier in the show so after heather takes the kids to get their haircut and everything all of a sudden we're back in the oval office and shannon i think we're meant to believe that shannon has been pacing around for about two hours now and she did not like being told that she has to prove herself to miss 30 year old so yeah you know she got off the chandelier with the pa who she was making like

put in new light bulbs was like you know what i'm taking the chandelier down we're going back down there i'm going to michelle obama's office and i'm calling miss 30 year old again all right take me down get me down. Get me down. Slow trip down. And she calls up Megan. She's like, you know what? I didn't like the way the last phone call ended. You know, I offered you an olive branch, and I don't have to prove myself. So if you want to come, you can come.

But, you know, I don't have to prove myself. And that's it. So, David, David, this phone call is over. And then Megan. Of course, Megan's response is as C-wordy as possible. Megan's like, well, you promised you would, but whatever. Yeah. What is that? You promised you'd prove, but whatever.

Basically, Megan. You promised you'd prove yourself, but whatever. Basically, what I'm starting to realize is that megan is one penis away from being a a waitress on vanderpump rules because if she had not gone onto jimmy edmunds penis she would be working at sir going seriously seriously seriously she'd be in that smoking den outside yeah she would be like well christina would be coming up to her like, have you talked to Stassi? Because she told me that you haven't even talked to her. Did you know that it's her birthday?

And she'd be like, who does that? I didn't know it was her birthday. I'm not inviting her to her birthday party. Screw that. She wants me to be at her birthday party. She has to prove to me that she can't fly off the handle. Well, Stassi said she doesn't have to prove anything to anyone. Well, well she sort of said it so i don't know but that's fine she promised she'd be standing at the hostess desk and people would come and be like uh hi we have a reservation for eight o'clock

well it's 8 15 and you promised you promised you'd be here at eight so whatever whatever it's fine I don't see cheese. Whatever. Fine. Whatever. I mean, fine. And then Santa, of course. Go on. Go ahead. No, no, no. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. I was just imagining Lisa Vanderbilt walking to Sir.

I'd be like, oh, darling, how's everything tonight? Well, you said you'd be here at 8 o'clock, Lisa, but it's 8.15. But whatever. And Lisa Vanderbilt being, who's everything tonight? Well, you said you'd be here at 8 o'clock, Lisa, but it's 8.15, but whatever. And Lisa Vanderbilt being, who's this? Listen, darling, we serve tuna tartare older than you. All right, back up. Okay, Miss 30-year-old tuna tartare.

Anyway, sorry. Well, in Lisa's case, Lisa deducts 20 years from every age, so she'd be like, all right, Miss 10-year-old, because Lisa says she's like 54. Lisa deducts 20 years from every age. So she'd be like, she'd be like, all right, miss 10 year old. Because Lisa says she's like 54.

I looked that shit up on Wikipedia and listen, Vanderpump, you look amazing. I don't care what your age is. You're gorgeous. And you know, you're my queen, but bitch,

please. That girl is 65. If she's seen today, she's like, just deduct it. All right. Just, we're going by the Chinese new years.

All right, darling. Chef Penny, here's what we're going to do. We're going to take some tuna tartare, alright? We're going to just rub it right over the camera lens, alright? And then I'll just put a filter on me because the tuna tartare juice is going to make me look ten years younger. Okay, Chef Benny, get on it right now. Do not abandon your post.

Oh, Ken and I love games. Every year we play Jenga and the tower's huge and I take one block for every year. It's like you don't remove blocks for the years, babe. Crumble like a Jenga house, Lisa. Liar. Anyway, I don't know why I'm mad at Lisa

Vanderpump's age, but I was like bitch please, you are not like a little bit older than me. Ronnie, you promised not to go off on Lisa Vanderpump but whatever, okay, fine. I love you, Lisa. I love you when you're 80. I mean 60.

So the best part about this phone call was that then Shannon was like, I'm moving forward. I've decided that I'm going to move forward. I don't think Shannon even has a vehicle that can go in any gear beyond reverse. She is the most reverse-headed person of all of them. So for her to say she's going she is the most reverse headed person of all of them so for her to say she's going forward is the funniest shit i've heard because this entire bunco party by the way was created from a space of passive aggression the only reason why she decided to have a bunco party was that way she could invite megan when megan did not invite her

yeah and everybody knows it and it's so funny funny. She's like, I'm going to have a fun party because I don't care. I'm going to have a good time. And instead of giving money to four people, I'm going to invite people. In fact, I've called Hagrid. She's like bringing Camille's friend employees over. She's like, Bunko! Good job, Hagrid.

Oh, gosh. So she's saying, I don't want to prove myself to you, Miss 30-year-old. And then she hangs up the phone right next to the big red button. And then she walks away. And again, she's like, oh, that's a girl. She's like a 30-year-old thorn in my side.

David, David's the other thorn in my side. I just keep walking through rose bushes. And they're named Megan and David. Dr. Moon, there's a thorn in my side. I just keep walking through rose bushes, and they're named Megan and David. Dr. Moon, there's a thorn in my side. Forget your thumb. Get a traffic cone. I'm on my way. I can't even watch the wild thorn berries with my children because it reminds me too much of Megan and David. Also, it's 30 years old, which I completely disrespect. I will not watch a 30-year-old movie.

That's the thorn birds, which I also can't watch. So then we get a scene of Brooks and Vicky meeting with the German holistic doctor. Lenka. Lenka? Oh, I wrote her... I thought Ling at first. No, it's Lenka.

What's her name? Not Ling. She's like, I am so not medical that I have Chinese name. It's like, get out of here, stupid. It's like, hello, I am Ling. We are going to rid you of your chemicals. And Vicky's like, well, I hope not sailing because I paid a lot for these. You know, I'm still paying them off.

Dan took half of it. No, don't you worry. Your boobies are okay. Your square sacks are fine, lady. It will be okay. So she's trying to explain to them what's going on. And she's like, oh, so you have the cancer? And Brooks is like, yeah, well, I just finished my third round of chemo at Andalase.

And it didn't have the effect that I wanted it to. I mostly just farted after. Funny how chemo and queso were the same thing in Spanish, isn't it? He's like, I got the chips with chemo and queso were the same thing in Spanish, isn't it? He's like, I got the chips with chemo. He's like, hey, busboy at Andalese, could you bring us another round of chemo?

Bringing some queso over. He's like, chemo sure makes me fart. Are you sure this cures cancer? I love this con chemo stuff. Chili con chemo. Chili con chemo. Chili con chemo. Now, is this extra or does it come with the tamales? Just tell me now.

They actually put the radiation inside the tamale. I had one of those peppers, one of those chilies. I had chilies with radiation in it, radiation cheese. Oh, man, I know it was radiation because I had the shits for three days. And Ling is like, listen here. Here's how you cure the cancer. You eat no solids. And Vicky's like, but what about salad?

She's like, no, that is solid. Well, what about potato salad? No, that is solid. What about chicken salad? That's not solid either, Vicky. Stop. Well, what about potato salad? No, that's a solid. What about chicken salad? That's not solid either, Vicky. Stop. You're not going to eat, okay? There will be no eating.

And Ling's like, you have to starve to cancer. Vicky's like, I don't want to starve it too much. Next thing you know, it's going to look like Megan is stealing my man away. But you promised to starve it, but whatever. I love that you still call her Ling even though it's like even though it's lenka you're still like holding on to the fact that it's lame i'm like it's an eastern european lady named lenka and you're like oh ling that's what i wrote down so it's sticking in my head forever yeah so then we get to um the most important funny scene of the episode as opposed to the most important non-funny scene um which is that shannon's getting ready for bunco night

and she's she's sort of fussing around the kitchen i think she sort of she was going on and on about saying how like when well if it's a party of 20 or less i'm in there i'm cooking i love cooking it's you know i'm giving a part of me to it. And meanwhile, cut to her being like, cook that bacon. Cook it more. Do this. I'm like, I don't get it, Shannon. But either way. For a caterer, you know, anybody can hire a caterer. Any little 30-year-old

with her husband's money can hire a caterer. But, you know, I prefer to cook things. I want people to have me inside of them when they eat. I want them to feel me. Like every time you eat something at her house, you just feel like running away and you feel guilty and you don't know why. So enjoy that cucumber roll. Like, I want to fuck a blonde girl on a beach.

I don't know why, but I want to fuck a blonde girl on a beach right now. Do you like that macaroni and cheese? It's funny because you never used to like macaroni and cheese. Now you do. That's weird. David, David, who's you like that macaroni and cheese it's funny because you never used to like macaroni and cheese now you do that's weird david david who's been feeding you macaroni and cheese anyway so so shannon's fussing around and then david walks in and he's like hey shannon a strange thing happened uh remember that girl on the beach you met that one time cut to shannon full-on paralyzed sombrero sombrero number three on the sombrero scale she is just like you just can see david david david david there was like poop dripping down her leg at that point there was like a steady stream of poop coming down her

leg it's like i saw that girl on the beach shannon she's's like, uh. It was like the last scene of Poltergeist when all the gravestones and skeletons come out of the pool. It was like the gravestone up here lies Shannon Bedore that came to the kitchen floor at that moment. That's what it was. She freaked out, and he's just smiling and looking through junk mail. He's like, yeah.

Remember that girl you mentioned? Yeah, I just saw her on the beach today. And Shannon's like, wait. What? Who? What? Huh? What? Yeah. Remember that girl you mentioned? Yeah, I just saw her on the beach today. And Shanna's like, wait, what? Who? What? As she gets that look on her face, her eyes bulge, and then she gets this look on her mouth as if she's trying to make a toot sound

out of a bottle of beer. You know when you go, you know, that's what her face does when she gets concerned. She does make that face. That's her description of that face. She has an imaginary bottle of Heineken that she's trying to make to and panic in her eyes and she just she looked and dave is just like yeah i saw her i said hi and she says hello and she was like oh oh oh okay and shannon is pooping on the floor and then her friend comes over have we seen this friend before we never have but you know someone on the Facebook page wrote this and it was my

very first thought also when they're like I'm thinking who is this girl on the beach and then this woman stridently walks in I'm like it's her she's the mistress she's the mistress she's the he's finally just brought her home yeah well David said he wouldn't lie to me, and he's not lying to me. The mistress has moved into the guest bedroom, and that's just how it is. He said she was going to, and she did. So he's trustworthy. And then Shannon has this crazy, like, she just goes in this crazy place. She talks about how she had a panic attack just then.

And she's like, and, you know, it's just so hard because, you know, before David moved out, you know, he was communicating with his mistress through Gmail. That was their primary way of communicating. And I'm thinking to myself, yeah, that's how, like, most people communicate with most people. It wasn't, like, mistress only. It wasn't, like, mistress mail. Like, you know, because she's like, because then I saw the Gmail. Every time he touches a phone, I start pooping. It's like, what are you?

That's normal. A phone is normal, all right? She starts to freak out because she thought she saw a Gmail icon on his iPad. She's like, well, that's the way he communicated with the mistress. I'm like, it's a pretty normal thing to have Gmail on your iPad. Listen, husbands who don't cheat keep their Hotmail accounts. And that's just it. There's no iPad icon for a Hotmail.

Okay. David, why do you have 100 emails in your spam filter? David, you never used to eat spam. Why do you eat spam now, David? Are you dating a poor person, David? David, who's Groupon? Who is this Groupon floozy? This girl, Christina, arrives,

and Shannon introduces her to us by saying, Christina is one of my best friends. She, I can call, when David was having his affair, I could call Christina and she would listen to me for hours at a time, hours at a time. And that is unconditional friendship. I'm like, or a sucker waiting to get on a housewife show. You think that bitch wants to hear your David stories

10 hours a day? No, but it finally paid off and here she is. Meanwhile, Demetria from Blood, Sweat & Heels is calling her up at 2 a.m. Be like, hey, you there? All right, you're coming to the wedding. She's like, please, I need to talk to someone about this crazy Shannon bitch. I don't care.

I just need to know the deal. Take my call. Bye. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. Do you have cake at your party? I'm not coming. Shannon.

So Shannon's telling Christina the story she's like David just came in and he mentioned that he saw a blonde girl on the beach and he was speaking in code

and I didn't know what he meant and then I started freaking out I mean I'm I'm shaking I'm shaking like this look at how I'm shaking

but then it turned out that it wasn't the woman you know from six months ago and then Christina goes wait you mean two years ago and she's like well it from six months ago. And then Christina goes, wait, you mean two years ago? And she's like, well, it ended six months ago.

How long was this going on? No wonder David was having like a year and a half affair. And no wonder he was like, this is the best time of my life. Unfortunately, now it's over. Oh, my God. It's not an affair. That was a relationship. Who's this?

Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? So then anyway. The kids in the car. The kids in the car. She's like, we're not in the car.

They are. They're in the car. I'm shaking. This is a giant mobile home. I never told anyone. But there are wheels underneath this house. So anyway. Oh, I can't wait until these potatoes are done.

They're going to taste like sad lies. David, how many bottles of wine did you get for Bunko? David? David? Don't lie, David. You promised not to lie, David. It's getting better. And then she switches out of this mode instantly.

And she's like, but it's getting better. It's getting better. It's getting better. Everything's great. It's getting better. Look, I mashed some potatoes. Consuela, finish the potatoes. I'm finishing.

I'm finishing them up. Only three negative thoughts in the past five minutes. I'm doing better. I'm doing better. Although I just had two in the past 10 seconds. Oh, no. Oh, no. My rate's going down.

David, David, I'm flatlining. Negative thoughts everywhere. So anyway. Back to Megan. Yeah. So then basically the bunco party starts. And,... Back to Megan. Yeah, so then basically the Bunko party starts and, you know, Bravo

was totally behind this. They totally sent for the car for Megan first so that way Megan arrived at Bunko first and now Shannon was stuck with this 30-year-old and the best part is that

they're having this awkward talk and Shannon's like, oh, and by the way, before you leave tonight, here's some wine for your charity. He's like, oh. So classic. I was going, oh. So classic. I was going to bring the other night.

It's been sitting here since then. Sad. But it's good because it's aged two more days. So, you know, it's a better wine now. Moving forward. You can't auction this wine off for the poor people, but you can drink it and swallow it and feel awful as it goes down your stomach and burns. This wine is older than five of you, Megan. You do know what wine

is, right? You know that there's a difference between this and Boone's Farm. I'm just not sure, Miss 30-year-old. You know this isn't Mad Dog, right? Okay. Just checking. Miss 30-year-old. Here are some bottles of wine, otherwise known as a grape juice. All right, Megan. Oh, and Megan, I've got you some Capri Suns there at the end of the buffet if you'd like to drink some of those while the rest of us are having wine.

All right, Megan. I can't wait to start Bunko, much the same way that I start charities, Megan, Miss 30-year-old. Also, the best part is that when Megan gets gets there she's like talking they're making this like general chit chat by like love your house i just moved yeah i'm in the neighborhood now i could walk here and then shannon looks and goes could you like with this total alarm like oh no the terminator has moved into the neighborhood i'm gonna see you on the street i hope you're laying down because we do need speed bumps. Young people are speeding. If I got a nickel for every 30-year-old that sped on this street, I'll tell you, I would have been able to buy a hooker for David.

Honestly. I mean, just they're everywhere. If Miss 30-year-old thinks that she can go speeding down the cul-de-sac, well, she has another thing coming. I'm going to put down a giant chandelier in the middle of the road, and she'll crash right into it. And then she'll learn a thing or two about speeding. What are you talking about, Miss 30 year old? That chandelier was always there. No one's ever been able to drive to the end of the street. Megan's like, you know, now that we're moving forward, maybe you can maybe maybe we could become better friends.

You know, I'll give you my Gmail. What? You have a Gmail? David. David. Shannon shits right there panic shit panic shit right all i wanted to do was serve some pigs in a blanket but it made me think of david because i know that he wrapped that girl in a blanket that peg um where are we jim so then wait i have yeah jim here oh and then botched we can skip that right well we already talked about that.

So then basically we can get to the Bunko party. I don't remember. Let's talk about it again. So we're at the Bunko party. And then everyone's just like playing Bunko. And my favorite part, once again, is Shannon. Because Shannon, of course nothing goes Shannon's way. So she's like rolling the dice.

She's like, Bunko, come on, Bunko. Come on, Bunko. Nothing. She just goes, this is just, come on, Bunko, come on, Bunko. Nothing. She just goes, this just sad resignation like, of course. Like, David? David, what'd you do with the Bunko dice? David, what'd you do with the dice? Why aren't they going my way? David, Bunko?

Bunko? No. Here I am, just sitting alone, waiting for the numbers to go my way, like every other night, just waiting for the Bunko to come home. I'll tell you what number I'm not gonna play. 30. Not only is it not on the die, I don't respect it. Bunco?

Bunco? Bunco? Bunco? No. Chef Penny cooked everything. Oh, yeah. Everything at that party looked like a Chef Penny thing. It's like, well, look at this. It's tuna fish on a cracker.

I'm like, what is this? What are these? What are these hors d'oeuvres, dude? I know. It's like, look, it's a carrot stick on a toothpick. Wow. It's a seven-layer dip, but three of the layers are hummus and two are liver. David, Chef Honey.

Consuelo was making canapes, and I said, can you pay? Can you? That's stupid. It might as well be like five in the morning with us on drugs right now. I know. Megan's like, you promised to pay, but whatever. Okay. Seriously? Seriously?

Seriously? Here's my waitress friend. She can help with the bunco party. Seriously? Bunco? Seriously, bunco? Seriously? Bunco, bunco, bunco. Oh oh i only got twos seriously seriously who does that who rolls a two on a bunco night seriously i love that the cat i

love that the staff of vanderpump rules is now is now catering the bunco party kristen and she's like you guys are gonna leave it like you found it, right? And I'm like, oh, what does that mean? We don't clean. We're not janitors. I'll never forget that. When they went to the catering party and then were shocked that they were expected to clean the kitchen after. They're like, what? Why would we do that?

Kyle's like, would you please clean all of your mess off the countertops and try and get those foot stains of horses off too while you're there? Thanks. Thanks. So Shannon – oh, Megan said – I keep calling Megan Shannon even in my notes. So this is getting confusing.

But Megan says, she's reaching out. If I can't – I mean we have to put it behind us. Like I'm an asshole if I don't accept the olive branch, right? Yeah. I just wish I knew what an olive branch was. It's that thing they grow at Pump, right? Does an olive branch come from the olive

garden? Because last time I went there, I tried to order and they didn't know what I was talking about. Isn't an olive branch just a branch of an olive garden? I don't get it. If this is an olive branch, where's the breadstick? If this is an olive branch, where's the breadstick? I mean, you promised it, but, you know, whatever.

Of course she extends the only thing in the restaurant without free refills. You know, the one thing I do like about this olive branch is that it has a lot of tuscan detail oh and then heather was proving that she was one with the people again by talking to megan and saying have you guys seen megan's rental house it is so cute i mean what does it have five bedrooms that is so I mean, I want to rent it. I mean, we need something for Colette until the cabinets are done. I mean, it's basically a studio. So, I think it's time

that we finally address the dark part of the episode. Which is... We have to. Because, you know, I have things to say. You don't have to be good, because I have nothing to say. Well, okay. So Vicky clearly gets some sort of text or whatever.

She has to go to a landline. She goes to a landline. Brianna's on the phone, from what we can deduce. And Vicky gets the phone call that I think pretty much most people fear the most, which is to learn that one of her parents, in this case, her mother has died. And it's like one of those very raw reality TV moments because Vicky just crumples over and is on the floor and she's wheezing and she's crying and she's screaming. And it's like very, very sad and very emotional. And I'm like, oh my God, this is awful.

And everyone you're and then and then you're watching as people realize it and so i was like for that moment like as much shit as we talk about heather or any of these people you know when when heather called terry and was like i just called to say i love you i thought that was like i i don't know like i thought was i thought a moving moment because that was real you know like bullshit aside like humans are humans and death is death, etc., etc. Now, that being said. I was like, wow, this is great, Ben.

Glad you brought it up. That being said. So sad. I felt terrible. But, like, Vicky's intense mourning, it was so crazy and over the top. I was both like, I didn't know if I wanted to cry or to laugh. And I felt terrible for wanting to laugh. But she was understandably a spaz. It was crazy.

She was like, they're like, what's wrong? She's like, my mother just died. It was crazy. It was like, I didn't know people acted that way. I mean, whatever. like acted that way you know and and she i mean whatever you act the way you act yeah it's a crazy thing yeah she was like throwing herself on the casket as it's lowered into the ground it was one of those things where it was like i i was like i wanted to cry but like she was so crazy and i don't hold it against her

but she was so crazy it was almost comical you know ben i would have something to say about that but the minute this happened i did what i do when anybody in real life like anybody when i get a phone call to anybody that i know has died i just did the same thing in this episode i turned on facebook masturbated for no reason and pretended nothing was happening that's great well i was watching i was watching with my dad and we were both like i mean we both were like very moved by it but at the same time it's just like like i've just never seen anything like it i mean and then and then she i i kind of she went this crazy place of like i can't believe she would she would die on me i can't believe she would leave me wake her up wake her up i need my mom like i'm she's

like i don't have parents who doesn't have parents i'm like well i think all the orphans of the world really appreciated that moment but um you know we can't like ding her for i mean she was in a in a in a crazy space understandably but that being said her craziness was real crazy well people online are freaking out about this because they're calling shenanigans that they're saying that it's false. You know, it seems weird that she had to take a landline call. And then they're saying that it's crocodile tears and this is all just done for the cameras and blah, blah, blah. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I think that she got a text from Brianna and she couldn't get reception in that house because you know what it's like on a hill. And then you go, you know, she got a landline. Yeah, I don't call any shenanigans. And I don't. She doesn't need to call shenanigans on that. And that's crazy. And I don't think that it was – I don't think it was too bad showing her crying. I mean, yes, it may seem a little bit exploitive,

but it's the Real Housewives of Orange County. I mean, we're lucky we didn't see Russell hanging from a fucking rack. If that show was shooting, trust me, they would have put a light bulb in and just kept the show going. I know. I did love, I thought it was funny. Everyone was like, oh my God, Vicky. And everyone was supporting her.

And then Gina comes in and Gina's just basically like, buck up. She's like, all right, well, get it together. You got to be strong for everyone. So get it together, get it together. I'm like, damn, girl. God, no kidding. Let her shed a tear for like five seconds. Listen, here's what people hate on airplanes.

Criers, all right? Whether they're two-year-olds or whether they're 70. No one wants to hear you crying, all right? So buck up and go to the airport. She's like, stop crying. Otherwise, your son will feel too bad for you to call you an asshole, all right? Get it together. Also, Gina, we didn't even mention Gina.

So Gina shows up to this party. It's always good to see her because, you know, she's always stirring some shit up, even though she acts so innocent. But she shows up wearing a trash bag just in case because camera's there and um she says to vicky she's like hey vix uh yeah i just got a text from brooksie and i told him just let us know if he needs anything is gina just calling everybody's fucking husbands what is wrong with her why is she so friendly with everybody's husbands i don't like that she she loves to be friends with people like she loves to be friends with people who are outcasts or people people's husband i think she likes to have that position of power i think it gives her some sort of power in her life because you know she's

got that terrible husband ex-husband situation at home. I don't know. I thought that was a little weird too. And what would she do? I don't know. The whole party was so sad and it was a really fun episode until that. And it just made me so sad because, I mean, they even went to the effort of bringing in a new person for Vickity,

and she didn't even get to do it. I know. She will. She will. What a waste of a little 30-year-old. I wonder what happened to Vicky's mom, though. You know, the phone call, he said, Billy, Vicky's brother, said, I got home, and I saw the car in the garage, and I knew something was wrong. And I'm upstairs, and I checked in on her, and she was gone.

I was wondering, did she leave the car on in the garage by accident or something like that? Like, I'm very curious. Oh, wait. She was in the garage was wondering, did she leave the car on in the garage by accident or something like that? I'm very curious. Oh, wait. She was in the garage? No, no. He said, if I remember correctly, he said he got home and he saw the car in the garage and knew something was wrong. But then he went up to the bedroom and found her.

So I wonder if maybe she left the car in the garage and fumes got in the house. I don't know. I mean, this is just conjecture. But I was very curious. Oh, I don't know. I mean, this is just conjecture, but I was very curious. Oh, I don't know. I think we would have heard it if it was that. I mean, with all the talk of garages on this show, Megan was like, $10 million? But will it have an ocean view and a

three-car garage? Why is that all they care about on this show? Why is there so much talk about garages on this show? So it's only fitting that you would think that she died in a garage or a cabinet. I know. But it was still very sad. And the montage at the end was nice. It's too bad.

But it looks like next week we get back to maybe some Vicky hitting. Maybe Vicky will start hitting on Megan next week, which will be exciting because that's going to come. That's going to come. From Wondery, this is Black History for Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

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In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen

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I'm sorry, I'm drinking this Starbucks because I stopped feeling dizzy. Now it's like, oh god, I can't do this. Alright, so that's it for Orange County this week. So we can go down some more memory lane. One thing that we can do, I have actually the very first episode

that we recorded. I have it queued up. O-M-G. For those of you who listen to this podcast, you know that we have our own theme song that we put together in GarageBand. By we, Ben means him.

He did that whole thing by himself. Thank you very much. I did do it. I recorded it, and then I sent the file to Ronnie because I wanted him to put on some vocals, but he never did. I couldn't do it because I kept getting high, and then I would listen to it,

and I'm like, this is so good. I've listened to it probably 9,000 times now, but I never added anything. It's surprisingly catchy. I don't know how I pulled that one off. But before we used to do um uh that song we used to actually just choose songs like real songs and then we realized oh wait this we probably should stop putting you know copywritten stuff on so for the first show do you have any idea of what our first theme song was? It's so

random. I'm gonna guess David. Were we psyched? Did we know that Shannon would be coming into our lives back then? We knew. We knew ahead of time. We knew. It was just the sound of wind flowing through her chandelier. It was just some chimes. No, it was that song

by Of Mice and Men or whatever. So this is... is mice and man you know that song that retarded guy gets strangled by his brother you know that's like well you're gonna hear you're gonna hear this is this is how listen to the awkward beginnings of episode one of watch what crap it's actually this is technically episode two because it's gonna be so awkward i don't want to hear it. Because episode one, famously, Ronnie, Matt, and I, we recorded episode one. We had a great, this amazing first episode, and then the file got corrupted. And so we did an entire episode, and we never even aired it because it was lost.

So episode one, this is really episode 201, what we're listening to. Okay. So this is the awkward beginnings. Okay. You may hear the tail end of the Gamefly ad. In day trial. Hey, everyone. This is Ben from bsideblog.com,

and you are listening to Watch What Crappens, a new podcast that's about everything Bravo. And joining me today is Ronnie Karam from TVgasm.com. Hello! And normally we would have Matt Whitfield from Yahoo here with us, but he got called into the office because he has to write something about the Oscar nominations or some sort of crap like that. Whatever. That's not even on our first one?

What the hell? And I love how you were from... I love how you were from TV guys. I'm going to come out with the Silent Housewives and finally win my damn Emmy. Oh, I would love that. That would be really interesting. You know, Vicki Gunvalson would be great for that.

She's got a very expressive face. Same can be said for most of the other women. They don't really have much movement. Vicki's boob scars say so much wow wow well i guess we got right into the shade very quickly yeah this could be like a hundred years ago and i would still be making the same jokes on episode 1000 i'll still be making vicky square boobs uh boob scar jokes i know that was so funny so what a random theme song first of all well i don't know how that got to be our themes our first theme song and then um our old but that was before we had proper microphones i think that was

when we were recording uh through our laptop speaker of microphones like and you were from ronnie karen from tvgasm.com when tvgasm used to exist yeah back in the day before i ran it into the ground and matt was that's so funny that matt wasn't on our first episode he was on our first episode but that got corrupted but he wasn't on our first premiere on our first premiere episode and it was also only 54 minutes long. Huh. How times have changed. Matt's actually still on this show. He's just busy writing for Yahoo every time we record. That's right. He's still a co-host.

Yeah. He's still a co-host. He's just never here. Yeah. Oh, Matty. Oh, Matty, Matt, Matt. Do you want to go through some of these other shows that we love that we have our past let's roll around in the past

let's roll around in the past should we talk about where did we leave off with our shows we talked about New Jersey I think we did New Jersey I remember screaming about chicken salad before this ended we talked about marriage medicine when we talked about the latest episode

what about Blood Sweatat, and Heals? I think my favorite thing that came out of Blood, Sweat, and Heals was this season. You really homed in on it was Demetria always going, it's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. I'm getting married. It's a big deal.

It's a big deal. I love doing Arzo voice too, but we didn't really have like a joke with her. We just would always be like, yesterday and I are gonna go and hang out right now. And then Dimitri would be like, it's a big deal. It's a big deal.

You're not that kind of person. It's my only ear phone. Cause you're not all I grow. It's a big deal. What about Real Housewives of Atlanta? It's funny. Real Housewives of Atlanta, Bravo's most popular Housewives franchise, we pretty much have two jokes that come out of that one

because it's hard to make jokes about it. But the two jokes that we have from it are really some of our most evergreen things that we ever do right riley starting with riley i thought you were gonna do i thought you i thought you were gonna start with uh mama joyce but we can start with i mean riley so so here's the thing for anyone who is like new to the podcast if you ever hear the riley impersonation it's the most bonkers impersonation that we do because candy burris she her voice goes in so many directions all at once here just listen to her listen this is ah so we always go like see now riley like riley was talking i was like i don't know like this. And like Mama was making me cry a little bit. And I was like, Riley, let me see the tide.

It's always like up and down, up and down. She cries like when a straw is coming in and out of a McDonald's cup. That's exactly. And in case you don't believe us, here is an actual soundbite from Candy. If I say something about you, Nanny, it's like, oh, she just, you know what I mean? Riley. Riley. Riley.

Riley. Oh, God. And actually, I felt like Married to Medicine this week was paying tribute to Real Housewives of Atlanta. Because I don't know if you noticed in that big brawl at the restaurant, Quad started screaming, That is wrong! That is wrong, Lisa Nicole! Like Mama Joy. That is wrong, Candy! Wrong, Candy! Oh, oh god she certainly did certainly did here's what i'm hearing on the streets now been up in todd's business i didn't say i heard it on the street i heard on the street

I heard on the street Todd met his Todd's mother met the father when she was selling herself on the street and he became her pimp and that is wrong one of my favorite parts of that is

what's her name Phaedra talking when Phaedra first came on the show and she's like, I'm a lawyer. She's talking about what a serious lawyer she is and this and that. And then you see the name tag on her desk, which is like from a Photoshop font. Or it's like from a

backpaint font from years ago. Or the Zapf Chancery. Yeah. And it's like one of those medieval times fonts or whatever. Then she's like one of those medieval times then she's like I gotta meet a client and then they show her in the parking lot taking a bag of cash from that drug dealer

it's all here he's like yes ma'am I taught him to say ma'am because I'm a southern belle Phaedra was so night is by far to me the funniest one not by far because melbourne is pretty funny too but atlanta i die watching it new york i think new york is the funniest to me new york cracks me up like each and every time like i mean every single thing about about New York city makes me laugh.

The real house has a New York. I mean, Atlanta is really funny too. Atlanta is really funny, but New York to me, that's exactly where my, that that's my tickle bone. New York.

Well, they all make me laugh. I really like all of these shows. The only one I think on this list that I don't truly, truly love is blood, sweat and heal so far. And married to medicine's up and down too. Yeah.

Married to medicine has such a good first season when there was Kerry who was like, Duncan, Duncan, I have struggled with this for 30 years. You know, I can't do British accents anymore. They're all Australian now. I've struggled with this for 30 years. Duncan, I have struggled. This has been a personal struggle of mine for 30 years,

you stupid whore. Married to Medicine for me, the only joke that I make consistently is either Quad going, Absolutely not! Or just Toya, oh, what I should have done was send Eugene to fat camp sooner, because the drug czar said that he could lose weight if he did that. Because I have came here for that. Also, Quad making terrible metaphors. Yes.

It is raining like it's raining man on a day where women are allowed in the Y. He's like, what are you talking about, lady? There's a cactus in the candy shop. And I'll tell you one thing. Mama's not bringing her sunglasses. This is clean. It's a clean machine. Okay.

So it's a French. There was a French to English dictionary sitting on my desk. And I'll tell you one thing. There's no bonbon near it. What? Are you in Spanish class? Because you translate for lunch. That makes no sense, squad.

But thank you for talking really loudly it's like if she says it really loudly and then like rolls her head around then she thinks it's a real thing exactly no she's like are we in a toy are we in a toy shop because you certainly have a monopoly i'm not having a clue sorry candyland that was way too intelligent yeah that actually that was that thematically made sense. It should have, like, changed halfway through. It should have been like, are we in a toy shop? Because last time I checked, airplanes were flying in the water.

What? Yes, exactly. You are standing on your last leg like someone in a wheelchair. Actually, they're sitting down, but thanks for saying that really loudly and rolling your head, Quad. You are reaching, you are reaching like three bars of soap stacked one on top of the other. It's like, Quad, you're just looking at things. Yeah, but we'll get to that because we are talking about that today, aren't we? In hour five. We have Married to Medicine.

Yeah, yeah. But before we get to Married to Medicine, can we just take a moment to remember Princesses Long Island? I will never forget Princesses of Long Island. Ever. Ever. You know, I'm sort of like the hottest girl on the North Shore. Sorry. Yeah, I'm the hottest girl on the North Shore,

so I have the hottest guy, naturally. I mean, does anybody else have a boyfriend that looks like kramer from seinfeld no because i'm the hot one do you remember uh amanda's mom was babs she's like amanda when you're gonna get married where's your where's your soda cozy do you remember how mortified matt was when I think it was here for that. I think it was Matt who was mortified when she had the soon-to-be son-in-law or whatever over for dinner. And she had salad dressing in a bottle of cake. That was me. I was the one who was mortified.

I was like, I can't believe she served wishbone dressing. And people supported me. I was like, here she is having a nice dinner and she puts a wishbone salad dressing bottle on the table. I have to impress. Sorry. Go ahead. I have to impress Amanda's boyfriend. It's not every day we have a celebrity in here.

Okay. I want you to treat my daughter like you treat this wishbone. Just keep squeezing it until you're covered. Gross Babs. Remember, Babs was always trying to be sexy. She's like, welcome to my home for dinner. I'm in a bikini. I still got it right here.

My daughter's like a bottle of wishbone dressing. Once you break the seal, no returns. You never know if it's bad or not until you swallow it just like her of course my i think one of my other favorite parts of married to medicine was when ashley and ashley and lauren or joey had a fight and joey was like when she was like oh yeah you're real real funny and she's like funny looking and she's like oh my god i can't believe you just said that buddy who says that to somebody you just you just you just talked about my looks you who does that who talks about a person's books dad help me please help me so in all reality the only the only two things that have ever let out that still

come back consistently from princesses long island is dad help me and also shake it shake it her dad her dad watching her walk around yes shake, shake it, baby. Yes. Dad, stop it. Shake it, baby. Yeah. Help me. Send a plane. Send a jet.

Send a jet to the next town over. The girls are being mean to me. Help me. He's like, well, what do you want me to do, honey? Are you shaking it? She's like, yes, dad, but I need a plane. I'm shaking it as hard as I shake the bottle of wishbone help man like can you make it to i slip honey i've got a southwest waiting for you i like when she was driving through that town and she called her dad she's like dad i'm not

sure what's going on here i don't want to get out of the car dad it's horrible here this there's couches on the porch dad this couch is there's couches on the porches, Dad. Dad, help me. I just want to be back in the film. Get out of that car. Just don't shake it. Alright? Just don't shake it. Dad, I just want to be back in the living room,

in the silver furniture, looking out the circular window. Dad, help me! And the poor mom all alone in the corner love that show bring that one back bravo please i know that oh and chantal crying chantal crying all the time she wants us to get married what's her name chanel chanel chanel right chanel chanel she's crying all the time because she wants to get married, but she can't get married. So anything to do with marriage, she starts sobbing.

Like when she was in that wedding, she's like, I would like to say I'm so proud of my sister for being touchable, basically. I mean, she's got a lot of positive things, but the most positive thing about her is that when people touch her, they don't turn to salt and then just fly away in the air so congratulations to you i'm happy for you guys i think mascara mascara streaming down her face oh how about that other girl the one who is like the blonde one who's still mad at erica because erica like asked her asked a guy to the prom that she wanted to go to the prom it's still her prom date or something who has then got rum wanted to go to the prom with solar prom date or

something who has then got rumored to be having an affair with jay-z i don't even know how that happened wait is that the same girl with the drink cozy no no no no the drink cozy one is amanda that's that's that's that's babs's daughter no i'm talking about um this other girl i forget her name but she was rumored to have been having an affair with Jay-Z. And she's the one whose boyfriend was stolen by Erica for the prom. Oh, that's hilarious. I'll never forget that drink cozy. It's like a piece of cloth.

She's like, everybody needs this because everybody has a drink. And your drink needs something around it, you know, so it doesn't sweat. I'm like, like a koozie? Which sounds exactly like cozy. How about you put a napkin on it? It's a drink hanky. Oh, it's a drink hanky. That's right. The drink hanky. Oh, you see my memory. We can't do anniversary shows because I don't remember

shit that happened, okay? Nothing. What about, what were our favorite parts from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? I think it has to be... Oh my god. Yolanda? I think it has to be... Oh, my God. Yolanda? Bella? I think probably...

Well, Chef Penny was fun, but we've probably done enough Chef Penny on this show. Chef Penny is on Vanderpump. Last, like, for 10 anniversaries. Yeah, we actually already covered our Vanderpump rule favorite stuff. We just folded that right into Orange County. Yeah. This one, Beverly Hills.

Beverly Hills, over the years years has had so many amazing things and i think our favorite things have been chef penny and just basic yolanda foster stuff yeah and jolanda's uh yolanda's speeches at every meal even when it's not about her at all it'll be like somebody else's birthday and she'll stand up and go oh happy birthday i would like to thank david because without david without david's hard work we wouldn't have been able to afford the driver who i'm teaching english to right now by the way because you have to know english in this country we wouldn't have been able to afford him and a bentley that drove me here from the house in balibo which is for sale and also comes complete with a man selling little mermaid towels on the lawn okay you know when i was in you know it was so funny well it's not really

funny but when i was i was in target last week they have like a huge tick population and every time like anytime you came indoors you had to like check for ticks and every single time i was thinking about yolanda i was even like oh no the lyme disease david i would like to thank david for giving me the cure to Lyme disease. And even though it hasn't worked yet, I know that my love has made the perfect cure. And the cure is just more love from David, my love. David, my love. You know, no one has clamped on to me like David, except for that tick.

So I would like to thank David for clamping to me almost like... I would like to thank Mohamed for giving me to David at that dinner party when the keys were put in the bowl and I was a party favor. So thank you, David. Thank you. I also would like to thank Mohamed for helping give... giving me the genes to have such a beautiful daughter in Gigi. She's such a beautiful, wonderful girl. gg she's such a beautiful wonderful girl and you know bella has a nice personality

i would like to thank muhammad for giving me everything you know when david first took me to the movies he took me to see the others and i said i don't want to watch them only Gigi and he said no it's not about your children and I said okay I will go and we fell in love I remember when I first saw Four Weddings and a Funeral and I was like oh look it's a movie about

Gigi and Bella you know because it's four movies about Gigi and one about Bella how lovely oh i remember when hold on i'm trying to think of the movie name i'm you know what i loved i loved that movie the english patient this was such a beautiful movie because it was basically about a beautiful woman like gg being caught in a cave with Ralph Fiennes, while, you know, this other ugly burnt figure, it talks to Juliette Binoche. And that's how it to me was like Bella and Anwar talking.

When I turned on my TV, when David gave me a kiss and went to sleep, thank you for that, David. I would like to thank David for having the TV on the channel that was playing The Other Sister. David for having the TV on the channel that was playing the other sister because I was watching it alone in bed and when Rosie came when Rosie O'Donnell came on playing the other sister I said to myself they got it right this time so thank you

David the first time I saw Poltergeist I thought it was a movie about Gigi because when the little girl said they're here I was like oh Gigi is here I'm so excited but then it was a ghost and I realized it was just about Bella. It's my second poltergeist reference of the podcast. I'd like you to know.

I have ghosts on the brain. You love those poltergeist references. That's been like six months of poltergeist references. Because everyone on Bravo reminds me of poltergeists. Scary, ghostly skeletons. You know what everything on Bravo reminds me of? Peanut M&Ms Scary, ghostly skeletons. You know what everything on Bravo reminds me of? Peanut M&Ms,

which I'm about to have some of. So thank you, David. Thank you, David. Oh, listen, I don't have Lyme disease, okay? I have chronic Lyme disease. Every time I'm sitting in my bed watching The Other Sister, I can hear

the clock tick, tick, ticking. Oh, I hate time. I hate that one Bengals song that starts with him going, time, time, time. I'm like, no, don't remind me. You know what painter I hate the most is Dali because he paints all those clocks melting. I'm like, good, let those clocks melt.

Unfortunately, you cannot turn back time, okay, Sinti Lapa? The worst part about that song is that just when you think the time is over, there's more time after the time. I wish that I didn't get hurt by a tick and instead I got hit by a snooze. That would be way easier to deal with. By the way, Yolanda's Insta this week is...

Insta? Check the Insta. Yolanda's is going on Insta? Yolanda has stopped taking pictures of her feet for some reason. I don't know why because I was really loving those. She's like, look at these shoes. They were only $9,000.

Okay, I'm one of you, David. Oh my God, even Yolanda's saying David now. David, David, David, David. I would like to thank David, David. David was honored in Time Magazine and I'm so conflicted. Sorry, go on.

Her Insta isn't her feet this week. It's her in an oxygen chamber. It's basically Yolanda in her own refrigerator, that giant refrigerator. She's like, put me right between the pineapple and the ham, okay? Yes, the oxygen chamber will solve Lyme disease. By the way, we can't have a nostalgic view of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills without, first of all, some talk about Kim Richards. And really, basically, I can just play this one clip and that will sum it all up.

I watch you tell me, oh, are you okay? And then I see you outside the door you're like she goes again classic kim and then of course that was actually of course kim is one of our all-time favorites from beverly hills i can't believe i almost forgot to bring up kim yeah i didn't bring up kim because she's still so in every podcast that it feels like we don't even need to bring her up. I mean, come on. She sent... That's all you have to say.

Sorry, I was swallowing my M&M. I was so rude on the podcast. That's what Kim says. She's like, I'm not drunk. I'm just swallowing M&M's. They got caught in my throat. I have to kick it. I had two M&M's.

Yeah. I had two M&M's. I got the new paint thinner M&M's, you know. Was it two Madison Square Gardens filled with vodka? Was it Madison Square Garden and Madison Square Garden filled up with gray goose? Is that your two M&M's, Kim? I don't know what you're talking about. I just wish that we could have been there at that wedding when she went off on the entire groom's family.

I know. I can't believe no one was recording that. Hey, I wanted to give my own vows. You're not getting married, Kim. I promise. All right. Hi, my name is Kim, all right? So anybody who thinks that I'm

afraid of rehab, there you go. Tell your friends. I'm Kim. I'm Val. I forgot what we were talking about. Where's the bar? Oh my god. Fuck you. Fuck you. Hey, mother of the brat, mother of the groom,

go fuck yourself. I invited Juliats is my plus one but she didn't show up can i have her champagne love you kim come back there was an article this week where kim is in rehab telling everybody i didn't get fired from beverly hills I quit. They said, hey, Kim, you want to come back to Beverly Hills? And I said, oh, heck no. I ain't paying for this lease anymore. Screw it. What do I need Beverly Hills for? So I told them, you can just keep it, all right?

Keep it. I'll just picture friends in an alley for all you people. She's like, the only reason I was fired is because I wanted to quit. I just didn't know how to quit. I didn't know how to quit. So then I turned to Jake General and I was like, listen, let's go off to where I'm going to have our gay love affair in the tent. Because then I can't quit you. Okay?

Yeah, sure, it's just documenting my downfall and making me look stupid in front of everybody. But there's no way I would quit. Until one time I was making chicken salad with my hands and the food department showed up and tried to make me put gloves on. Or use a wooden spoon. And I said, fucking, I'm out of here. Screw you guys. Get over here, Kingsley. We're leaving.

Kim Richards ain't Kim Richards. It's a little mayonnaise under her finger under her finger if you got a problem with it call emilio west of us so uh by the way my all-time favorite soundbite from real housewives at beverly hills was when um lisa and ken were renewing their vows, I think. And it was happening the same night that news was coming through that Adrian and Paul were heading to divorce. And so Mauricio and Camille Grammer were talking about it. And Camille was trying to articulate her thoughts, but she couldn't.

So Mauricio just talks for her. And this is honestly my favorite thing of all time celebrating somebody else's yeah when the same day that we hear about our friends uh split so upsetting i know she's like at one point she's just like she just starts repeating what i gotta listen to it again how sad that we're gonna be celebrating somebody else's. The same day that we hear about our friend's split.

He's like, the same day. She's like, same day. It's like someone trying to sing along when they're a little bit behind the lyrics. It's like Julie Chan trying to run Big Brother. She doesn't have that headset in her ear ear she's just like beat beat there's no programming my ear

poor julie chen had a major chin bot problem this week god bless her heart god bless um there were a lot of good that that actual night i remember that when adrian's like hey guys you know was that the party no no she showed up to the white party. That's right. What party did she show up where she had just gotten a divorce? And she sat on a white couch and got Tanner all over it. That was Lisa's house, right? Yeah, that was at Lisa's house.

Yeah. That was at Lisa's anniversary party, right? When she's like, listen, I know Lisa and I hate each other. And, you know, I would have congratulated her on this whole thing, but I'm getting divorced. Lisa's like, congratulations, Ken. We get a new couch for our anniversary. I was covered in brown. And when she sent her that Thanksgiving Day float to the white restaurant, she's like, thanks a lot for having me at your party. Here's a giant turkey to put on the table.

Here's like some turds with some moss on top of it. Enjoy. Anyway, should we go on to Marriage to Medicine? Um, yes. Oh, I was going to say, I'm done with favorites from that, but we can talk about the actual episodes. Yeah, well, yeah, we can do.

Let's do the, let's talk about some Marriage to Medicine this episode. Well, we can move a little faster on this one, right? We don't need to – Nothing really. I mean – Okay. Basically, for the first 20 minutes, nothing happened, right?

We can agree. It was like – Well, there was a lot of fat shaming. Okay. Jackie has crossed over now from just – If someone comes into your office and they are obese, of course your doctor is going to tell you you're fat you gotta lose weight that's what doctors do I get it but going up to people who

are not in your office and calling them fat is not cool okay Mrs. Huxley stop it yeah she's a little out of control the first like 20-25 minutes of the episode was just like heaven who's gonna go on a date and Laura

chose a blue dress for her and she thought it'd be too big. Heavenly's like, I'm a relationship expert, man, so I need everybody to understand that I'm the relationship expert. And if they want to see proof, I got my online certificate ready to

whip out of my pocket. Your school of the Phoenix Online, get the fuck out of here with your online certificate ready to whip out of my pocket. Your school of the Phoenix online. Get the fuck out of here with your online certificate, you nerd. I don't think anyone ever asks for a certificate. If you call yourself a relationship expert, people know that title is so dumb that they're not even going to ask for a degree or a certificate. Yeah, they don't need to see your degree because you've already got asshole stamped on your forehead. And then she's talking about what a relationship expert she is. And she's like, well, we have date night, don't we, baby?

And he's like, silent, not talking. She's like, now see, the key to a perfect relationship is the very man who doesn't speak. And then he just sits there. And he's like, I don't like this working that you're doing. She's like, well, honey, I would have to disagree. And sometimes I just don't listen to my husband. He's like, no, I said no. She's like, okay, honey, I would have to disagree. And sometimes I just don't listen to my husband. He's like, no.

I said no. She's like, okay, we'll talk about it later. So basically, the key to a serious relationship is having a husband who never speaks unless he's bossing you around, in which case you won't listen and then pretend not to fight on camera. Great job. Yeah. Great job. Well done. Well done.

It's going to work out great, guys. I see this going far. So, let's see, the other thing was yeah, it was basically Toya and Eugene were like,

Eugene, we need to have some matching fitness wear, Eugene. What I should have done was I should have got one big army t-shirt for you and one small one for me, and then we should have been a team together. Then we could have came here as a team. Hey, Eugene, if we

go to this gym thing, and she say, fit it, fit it, fit it, and you looking stupid, get clothes that don't fit, we both look stupid, Eugene. What I should have did was gone to buy you some clothes, and he's like, no, baby, don't buy anything stupid, Eugene. What I should have did was gone to buy you some clothes. And he's like, no, baby, don't buy anything else, please. She's like, what I should have did.

You could wear the guest room. You could wear the guest room with your shorts, Eugene. What I should have did is fill up the ambulance with matching shirts. That's what I should have did for Eugene. And Eugene is hilarious because he's a fucking doctor okay for christ's sake he's a doctor man come on he he's fat as hell which you know i love in a man i don't care i'm fat as hell too but he's this big guy he's a fucking doctor and then they're telling him eugene you gotta lose weight and he goes yeah maybe i got like 20 pounds 20 pounds that was

the size of your last steak, bitch. You do not have 20 pounds. Try times five, Miss 30-year-old. Yeah. Eugene. Eugene. It's the same way Lisa explains her age on Wikipedia. It's like, listen, putting it on Wikipedia doesn't make it true, all right, Eugene?

Yeah. Eugene, you got to work on that a little bit more um so should we just get to like three with him though that when people like jackie who are probably naturally thin anyway and also have a predisposition to enjoying working out like some people enjoy it they like working out they wake up they do it because it's their hobby not because they have to you know and he's like this skinny bitch that's never been fat in her life. She does not understand what fat people go through. And that's true. I would like to see Dr. Jackie go through one of those tests.

Like that guy. That personal trainer who is always on fat people. And then finally he gained 100 pounds on purpose. And then lost it again to see how hard it is. Right. I mean, spoiler alert. He was still a dick afterwards. But still, I would like to see Jackie go through that process well yeah i mean i will say as much as jackie was fat shaming this episode

there was a lot of pushback like they were they were all giving jackie shit like on the interviews talking about like how she doesn't know what the the struggle and everything and heavenly was really shady heaven's like i have curves she's like jack is like a boy you know yeah they were they were giving me they were definitely the the the resounding voice of the episode was jackie has crossed the line and she's being crazy and then she goes and she yeah and she was yeah and that's all true and jackie like jackie's just evil because she has this party okay she's having this physical fitness party where she invites all these obese people and her friends, okay? So she makes them all come to this gym party.

And then she makes it this evil test where she puts out, like, sliced bell peppers next to a pizza. Like, first of all, what dumb fat bitch is not going to know to eat a bell pepper? And, of course, Mama June comes in there and she's like, pizza! It's like they go straight for the pizza. And then she's like, well, that is a problem that we will have to discuss at some point. Stop putting it in front of them.

Well, I mean, the funny part was like, half the people were also like, alright, I know you're trying to test me, but you know what though? I don't care. I'm failing the test. I'm going for the pizza which is exactly like fuck that you got a pizza here thanks for catering this shit i come every day i know it is it oh and then we had uh not toyah did i call her toyah i met simone toyah um they have this scene where Toria's twin Urkels are sitting there and she comes in and she's like boys why are you

playing your games instead of doing your homework which I like how she talks that everything is like some kind of it's about to be a big speech but it's not she's like your homework and they're like dad said we could play a game and she's like well

just to show you how hard work pays off at least a muzzerati i can't afford oh wait what a that's a lease b you were broke last year you can't afford that shit yeah and then she says i would have, some people, asked the husband. But I don't need to ask him. Because he would have studied up on all the better cars. And I don't want to study. I'm like, you know that you're saying this as you're telling your kids that they need to go study, right? What the fuck kind of lesson is this? Yeah, I'm like, oh, I'm so excited that you are a doctor.

You're like, I don't need to read any medical journals. I just, I'll just, I like to do surgery. That's sexy. She just goes and cuts everything up. I buy cars like I cut into women. Blindly.

Head first. I don't like to crash everything. No, but I love Simone. I do too. She cracks me up and she deserves that Maserati even if she can't afford it. Now.

Listen, I say this. These people need to watch some Housewives before they start spending money like this. You see what happened to Brandy, right? It's like you're fired, and then the very next headline is, well, like a lot of dead people in Yemen or something. But then the headline after that was Brandy looking for a new rental because she can't afford her rental. Bitch, we told you. Are you listening to this show? I told you in the very beginning, what are you doing in that rental? Get out of that rental.

You cannot afford that. You and Kim both. Kim's going to be homeless too. She's like... She's in an apartment in the valley, darling. So anyway, so the big thing this episode was that Lisa McCall and Quad decided to meet because they – Lisa McCall.

I noticed one thing. They were showing the clips from last week, and I feel like I might have said this before, but it's not a joke, so don't worry. But if I didn't say it before – I mean, if I did say it before, I'm sorry. But just in case I didn't, I noticed this in that art that argument she was having with Darren who by the way looks like he has David run eyes basically he has those like I need to get the fuck out of here right now eyes at all times yeah and he's always trying to say the nicest thing but he can't because he's fucked other people but anyway uh when they were having that argument in the kitchen and he's like baby why don't you just stop bringing it up?

And she's like, you know what? I would appreciate if you would stop bringing up affairs. And I love that her issue is not that he's having affairs. It's that he's bringing them up all the time. Have your affairs, but you have to bring them up when I'm trying to teach my staff to put the hangers on the hanger right. Lisa Nicole does not go in clearance. By the way, I had the perfect Lisa Nicole voice going on earlier today when I was drinking my coffee, and now it is completely gone,

and I sound like I'm going through puberty. Lisa Nicole. That's kind of how she talks. Lisa Nicole does not go on the clearance rack. We start at Ross Dress for Less. If you sew on the bottom and you can't go lower, there won't be going lower. Somebody threw us on the ground at Ross Dress for Less.

We are lower. This is unacceptable. Under the pots and pans, that's not even the right section. Why are we by the plastic Paris sign? Lisa Nicole does not go by the sexy diva

martini glasses that have a feather attached to the base that's another one of my favorite Orange County things that we didn't mention but Gretchen's shopping in the Ross Dress for Less for Home Decor however that's my favorite

this painting says Paris in five languages however however please Gretchen shut up This painting says Paris in five languages. However. However. Please, Gretchen, shut up. Shut up. You're stupid. Which is also to be followed with. Be fine.

He's not going to hurt. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. You're stupid. Shut up. All right. So then we get to this Lisa, Nicole, and Quad thing. You're stupid. Shut up. All right. So then we get to this Lisa Nicole and Quad thing.

This was hilarious. Quad, the whole setup of it was hilarious. I just loved this entire thing. Quad pretending to be nice and calling Lisa Nicole. Hey, girl, this is Quad. I'm driving my car like a horse rider. And Lisa Nicole's like, hi, quad. Hi, quad. I was hoping we could get together for some lunch because I'm hungrier than a walrus that just ate a giraffe.

I am hungrier than a walrus at Club Med. I am hungrier than a toucan with wrapping paper. And Lisa Nicole's like, Well, I am surprised to hear from you, but I'm very excited because we should put this beside us. Because I didn't mean to hurt you. And Quad's like, I know. I can't wait to see you for lunch. I look forward to seeing you like a blind man looks forward to hearing stuff so they arrive at i don't know where was this like that benigans the outdoor patio of the benigans yeah it was like rosa mexicana or some variation thereof and and it was hilarious because

when the women see each other they are acting like they are old pals like hi quad's like how are you looking fine oh yeah let's come on come on in for a hug let's have a hug oh yeah come on great to see you guys you're wearing black what you going to a funeral lisa nicole's like well i hope it's a funeral I hope that this fight dies and we can bury it. Girl, I would love to bury somebody. I want to bury somebody like a dog buries a triscuit in a tree, girl. Buried it like a snail in a crab shack. My favorite ice cream is berry. Let's bury it.

Let's do it. So they're acting like best friends and then uh she says now lisa nicole and then quad goes into her martin luther king speech i love when quad goes into speeches she's like lisa nicole now here is how i see friendship i look at friendship like a man looks through a telescope to see an ocean. Okay. Right. I just want you to know

that the only reason I hired a background investigation was because we were going to do business. I was never doing business with you. But, you know, I was helping you and how do you know I wasn't going to offer? How I don't know anybody not going to offer. What, am I going to just start answering Groupon emails because they email me every day with offers?

No. I'd be running to Groupon like a crazy person. Who runs to Groupon, girl? Like, oh, my God. You know this fight is going downhill right at the beginning. Because as I've said a zillion times, when anybody is smiling that widely and being that nice they're about to murder you yeah and it did go down because basically you know it's interesting lisa nicole did sound a little shady because if it was just that lisa nicole was giving advice and taking quad under her wing a little bit if she was going to do a background like do due diligence is different

than a background check first of all second of different than a background check, first of all. Second of all, if they weren't actually in business, if they weren't like, oh, we were going to like embark on a business thing, then Lisa Nicole was doing a background check on spec to see if she wanted to invest, which is also a little shady. But that being said, I don't think it's shady enough to cause this giant rift. I think it's just one of those things that's like poor form and quads have been like, whatever. It's shady. It's stupid. Well, especially when you can run a background check for $9.99 online. I've done it for people. I mean, you can find out everything about somebody for

$10. It's a big deal. You know, it's like, you Googled me? Oh, next thing, Google Alert is going to go off like a siren. And it's going to say quad something david your google alert's gone off and said quad something is that the woman from the beach david you're using your gmail again david no contact with the outside world you know you know that this started at some party they were at last year and lisa nicole saw quad talking to

her husband drunk and that's all she needed and ran a background check the end 100 so they start fighting and quad is like well you know i don't know how she even segued into this she's like she basically like i found a battery charge oh yes yes she's like oh well have we talked about the affairs yes like for two years now have we talked about how you almost had cancer that one time? It's like, what are you trying to hold against her exactly here? And then it switched to boom, uh, illegitimate child. He has an illegitimate child with some other woman.

Yeah, exactly. And that's what, that's what set Lisa off the most. And then Lisa went crazy. Yeah. That was some hood rat bitch. Like you.

And then, then quad all of a sudden quad's like don't just business like say don't disrespect me don't use that language around me meanwhile this is after quad has now dragged lisa nicole and her husband through the mud with this like with this this accusation and then all of a sudden she takes offense to being called a hood rat bitch yeah well she didn't even care about the hood rat part she just cared about the bitch part oh yeah she's like you call me a bitch she's like i call you a hood rat bitch and she's like but a bitch yeah she wonders about the bitch part yeah i love it i love hoods but then lisa nicole then she just goes totally crazy and she and she's like what about the lesbian affair and she throws the water in quad's face and then it's on i mean she's like what about the lesbian affair and she throws the water in quad's face and then it's

on i mean she's full on through that was a full glass of water and quad got doused and the they start yelling and they're right up in each other's faces and there are two people eating at this restaurant outside there and they're not they don't even care they're not they don't even turn around to look they are just eating it was amazing and that's why oh you know it's it's a show of course they're fighting it's two women filming a reality show yeah i'm looking i'm looking to see what happened in this well the thing is what's funny is then lisa nicole explains to us she's like she's like yeah i mean everyone knows that quad and mariah had a lesbian affair and then the show just keeps on going and they never mention it ever again.

I'm like, what? Oh, my God. When everyone was saying that in comments as a joke, like these two women are acting like broken up lesbians, which I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure. But that is not cute. Okay. That is some violence right there. I'm like, wow. I've been through a couple of lesbian breakups

with my friends i don't ever want to do it again love you lesbians please be nicer when you break up um but yeah so they went so i guess the thing at that steak restaurant was about them breaking up or something when they were yelling at each other in the steak restaurant so they used to be lovers apparently and lisa and oh we forgot to say say it. Lisa Nicole threw the water glass in her face. Well, that's what happened next. But then she threw the glass. Like she threw the water, but then she followed it up by throwing the glass at Quad's face. And then Darren came out of nowhere.

It was sort of like that scene in – was it Game of Crowns I think when like the husband came running in during a fight or something like that? Or he like – they're all confronting the no it was like from um game of it was like from game of game of yeah game of crowns show no game of thrones it was like game of thrones when kalisi was about to get in trouble and then the big dragon came in and fucked her friend i i have no i don't want i have no idea but uh or also remember that time when time when Kim Zolciak left Real Housewives of Atlanta? She got mad at everyone and then she stormed out of the restaurant and then Croy was right there waiting for her. It's like these guys just linger there waiting. They know.

They're like the boxing coach just waiting in the corner to wipe them off and give them a pep talk. And then Lisa Nicole got knocked over. It sort of was funny she sort of like wound up on her butt on the floor while those other two people just kept on eating their food didn't even turn around once but even when quad's face was bleeding she just got a glass thrown at her and she goes you threw water at me water that is wrong lisa nicole that is wrong career Lisa Nicole. That is wrong. Your career is over. I'm like, what, did it begin? Your career is over. Nobody is buying clothes from someone who throws water at somebody. It's like Anna Wintour is on the phone like, get me Lisa Nicole.

Well, she threw water at Quad O. Never mind. Click. Just when I was about to put her in my magazine. Anna Wintour is like, on her dry cleaning? Never. She's done in my magazine. Hannah Wintour is like, on her dry cleaning? Never. She's done in this town. Click.

Click. This turned into so much fun. And then we cut back to poor Jackie's stupid fit is it thing, fat shaming parade, where she's just like, now, someone better raise a hand. And we've got cameras here. Who ate the pizza? And nobody will raise their hand. It's like, now, someone better raise their hand. And we've got cameras here. Who ate the pizza? And nobody will raise their hand. It's like ring, ring. And then it's qua.

And she's like, I'm sorry I'm not there. But I'm busy. I'm busy as a bee building a mall. Well, what happened? I'm at the police station because Lisa Nicole attacked me and threw a glass at my face and cut me. And they're like, but why? And she goes, well, we were having lunch and drinking some water, as horses

do. And then she threw a glass in my face. Toya. Toya's like, hello, this is Toya. What'd you do now? What'd you do? What'd you do? What'd you do? What'd you do? Was you like Eugene eating pizzas?

Did you throw a pizza down her face? Was Eugene there? Did he eat the pizza with you? What'd you do? What you should've did, what you should've did was walk away, Quad. But then Quad was like, you know,

she did not seem to appreciate the revelations of the past that I presented to her. And then Toria's like, oh, where'd we go? They all were like that. Big words. Because this is also the episode where Toria, Eugene said

something like, what did he say? He's like, I don't want to do anything specific. And she's like, oh, there it goes with the big words again. Yeah, aversion. That's what it was. A two-syllable word. What was it?

Yes, I wrote that down. My only note was, Toya doesn't know what aversion means. He's like, I don't have an aversion towards exercise. She's like, oh, there it goes with the big words. And he's like, aversion? Oh, yeah, there it goes. His $50 words. And he's like, that's not a big word. He's like, oh,? His $50 words. And he's like, that's not a big word.

He's like, oh, that's what he does. He wants to argue with you. He just tried to confuse you. My God. He drives a Confusalance. Don't know what he's saying. It's an emergency. Aversion.

But yeah, she's like, she didn't appreciate the revelations that I brought at lunch. She doesn't like the Bible. Lisa is a satanic woman. She doesn't even like revelations. It's like, oh, please, Quad, stop. So Quad is, of course, the big victim. But someone pointed out on her Facebook comments, and I think that they were completely right. You know, you can fight and scream at somebody all you want.

But when you throw a glass in someone's face, you're automatically wrong, right? Yeah, absolutely. No, that was wrong. That was crossing the line. And that is like a thing. You know, she, like Lisa Nicole should pay for those medical bills. Well, Lisa Nicole has made, Lisa Nicole, I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Lisa Nicole has made Lisa Nicole. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Lisa Nicole has made a grave error and she has shown the producers finally what will piss her off because no one has been able to figure it out now for a year and a half.

And finally, they were like, oh, if you just talk about her husband fucking other people, she'll go crazy because then we next week and she's in a strip club. And one of the strippers is like, oh, hi, Lisa Nicole. How you doing, honey? Oh, we love your husband. You know that he comes here all the time. Say hi to him for me. This is bullshit. This is bullshit.

I am leaving. I love the way she talks. I mean, she talks like a typewriter. Like, I am leaving right now. Listen, I am not mad that Darren comes to the strip club. I'm mad that it's being talked about. Okay, then. Whatever.

Go ahead. No, nothing. I'm just making, I'm just talking to talk. Whenever there's silence, that's why it makes sense, never. Because I just talk. Because I'm just listening. I'm listening because your Lisa Nicole is so funny. I swear to God, I had such a good Lisa Nicole voice going on today.

And I was so happy. I was like, finally, I have Lisa Nicole. Because her voice should be easy. But I'm like, every time I try to do her voice, it gets too round up. I can't do it. It just sounds weird. Then today I was like, oh, I have it perfect. And now it's gone.

What can I say? I don't care if he was here. Was his hangers in the proper direction on the rack? Lisa Nicole is about to lose it and I love it because they are making the nicest well, what seemed like

the nicest, quietest woman ever pissed. And I just love it. I think it's so fucking funny. This is worse than almost cancer. I also love, by the way when she's like she gets she's saying about quad bring up the battery she's like she's like you know i don't understand why quad would bring this up it's something from 10 years ago it's like not a big deal and like it has nothing to do with who i am now cut to her throwing a glass across face there you go and there you have it um have we talked about all of our shows i'm looking here do we have any clips to go back to we've actually finished haven't we well we have i mean we have

our four other there we have four other tv shows okay yeah yeah okay yeah let's talk about our others um well first of all i think the newest one in the in the watcher croppins pantheon has to be secrets and lies which is paralyzed i haven't i actually have i still have not seen last week's episode yet because i'm still catching up with all my tv oh my god it's good it is good watch it tonight i'm gonna watch it tonight shut up'm going to watch it tonight. Shut up, you dumb bitch. I'm paralyzed. Paralyzed. I'm paralyzed.

I can't believe you talk to a woman like that. I'm paralyzed. They go to the dick doc to look at guys having sex in Fire Island behind the bushes. It's so good. Miles is like, oh, my God, it's me. Oh, no, wait. It's a man bent over a tree. What the hell is going on on this show? Paralyzed! Paralyzed! I just saw

my duple ginga! Hey, did you put it on Insta? Hey, Max, did you put it on Insta? Hey, Max, did you go to Fire Island and see the guys having sex behind the bushes? Did you put it on Insta? Listen here, Max. My friends tried to have an intervention with me, Max.

I just want everybody to stop being in my business, Max. That friends tried to have an intervention with me, Max. I just want everybody to stop being in my business, Max. That was a very good episode. I'm so excited. I'm so excited to see it. And of course, you know, I mean, that part of the world, Real Housewives of New York City is just everything. I mean, all the Ramona-isms

that we have, that's like my favorite thing. When New York City comes around and we can start doing, okay, Ramona, okay, that's like my favorite thing. When New York City comes around and we can start doing, okay, Ramona, okay, that's the best. Okay. If you want to make a sandwich, you're 40, Mr. Jetson. Make a sandwich. Who's stopping you? If you don't want to make a sandwich,

don't do a sandwich. You acted like a bitch. There's just like a gurgle in her voice that I really like. There's always like a big wad of snot in the back of her throat. I know. Racted like a bitch, Heather. I'm only sad, by the way.

I'm sad that Aviva is gone because then we can no longer say this isn't about whatever. This isn't about the paperclips. It's about the children with cancer but no legs no it's about the children with missing legs it's with the children with no legs and also we don't get stories uh last week you weren't here but i was talking i think stephanie about this gossip article that came back about producer manipulation and it was by the producers so it's like they were admitting what they manipulate and stuff. And the best story of it

or the best story from it was they were at some event at the Marriott Marquis and all the housewives were showing up and Heather and her wussy husband were getting Mike to go on and Heather arrived with her husband, or not Heather,

Aviva arrived with her husband and started having a screaming fit when she found out she had to go up an escalator. And she started screaming, that thing's going to rip off my legs! And having this fit and wouldn't go up the escalator. Like, you know they have elevators

at the Marriott Marquis, right? I've been in one. I don't know what the problem was there. But she's like, this escalator is not going to apologize to me 20 years later on the show. I will not go up it. You know what the problem was there. But she's like, this escalator is not going to apologize to me 20 years later on the show. I will not go up it. You know what? There should have been a banner at the top of the escalator that said, congratulations, Aviva, you did it.

Hey, what's she worried about now? She's got a 50% chance the escalator is going to take a piece of plastic instead. Yeah, no kidding. You take your leg off every day. What's the problem? Yeah. I thought once she went to the farm the problem yeah i thought she was i thought i thought once she went to the farm and saw the machinery she was magically cured well maybe this

was before she went to the farm maybe she was healed okay you know it's like i'm still bothered by this because i have not confronted the girl who saw my leg get ripped off. Okay. We'll wait for that. I like that this escalator is yellow because it reminds me of sunshine. Okay. I love escalators because when I was a little kid, we were in the mall in the Berkshires. And my dad, we were going up an escalator. And my dad started yelling at my mom because he said she's always trying to stand one step in front of her. And so he pulled her purse string and she fell down the escalator. So now only take stairs.

Whoa, this is weird. Okay. All right. This is totally bringing me back. All right. I remember one time I was trying to go up the escalator, and I got three steps up, and then there was this big woman in front of me, and I was like, excuse me, and she didn't move. And I was like, excuse me, she didn't move, and then I tapped on her shoulder and turned around. It was Geraldine Parsons-Smith, and

she pushed me, and I fell down the escalator just like my mom did okay so i'm sorry i don't go up escalators you know why because i think they're day class a i'm sorry i take the elevator oh i love that show uh one of our other shows is of course real housewives of miami now real housewives of miami had some trouble they had a troubled first season. They had an amazing second season. Then they had a totally shit third season. But it was still worth it A, to see other people than white people on Bravo. And I'm not

talking about Atlanta. I know you have your token Atlanta for the housewives. But on this show, it was really nice to see the other segment of society, the Latinas. Yes. I grew up in a this show it was really nice to see the other segment of society the latinas yes love them i grew up in a uh border town and i love me some chicanas baby well these i guess these aren't chicanas but they're latinas love them yeah oh well you know peter oh you know peter he's you

know he loves thinking about latinas and stuff you know because like one time he was driving he was like on the street and a taxi went by full of latinas and he like he kicked the taxi but that's only because he wanted to see the latinas it's not because he wanted to hurt the taxi driver so you know pierre is learning what is her name alexia what's that one's name alexia oh well you know yeah alexia her son who's basically a serial killer rapist or whatever every time he gets in trouble she's like oh well you know peter was out and he was playing with this new device that we got him because you know i feel bad because his father was in jail so you know if a new device comes out i buy it for him so anyway he was walking down the

street with this new device to record things and he saw this homeless person and so he took out the device to remember his father and he started recording the homeless person and then he started kicking and punching him and you know the only reason he recorded well you know peter you know like he didn't want to record it but his father was in prison and so he doesn't have any childhood memories and so he just wanted to record something you know it just happened to be when he was punching a homeless person so it's okay you know you know peter oh well you know peter you know peter you know peter that probably... He doesn't mean it. That is probably our most enduring gag,

because that one pops up pretty much anytime we say, oh, then we just go into, oh, well, you know, Peter, no matter what. Oh, well, you know, Peter. And so for all the people who've been wondering, who picked up onto our podcast way after Miami ended, whenever we go, oh, well, you know, Peter, it's Alexia making another excuse for Peter. And you know what's funny? She never even said, oh, well, you know, Peter, it's Alexia making another excuse for Peter.

And you know what's funny is that she never even said, oh, well, you know, Peter. We started making that joke. I was thinking about this last night. We started doing that because we were making fun of me because I always have one or two phrases that I repeat over and over without knowing that I'm doing it. Like, I'll say,

well, my, you know what I loved about this? That's been my latest one where everything is, well, I loved. Well, what I loved was. What I loved was. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that we. I think at that time I was saying, oh, well, you know, blah, blah, blah.

No, I don't think so. No, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure we started that. If it wasn't, then I'm proud of myself. No, it wasn't based on you. It was like, you're a machine. You need to stop. No, it was based on the fact because Alexei Widow said, well you know peter you know oh peter she always she would always go oh oh well you know peter you know like that's it

i had nothing i had nothing to do about your i'm going to sue this stupid city you know oh you know peter he tries to go and he tries to help me he tries to be a good boy and help his mother on his photo shoot and then then some taxi cab dents his foot. Well, you know, Peter, he loves dance. And he's learning about all these different dances. And he learned can-can. And he's just doing can-can. And the taxi driver just was too close to him.

So he kicked the taxi driver. But that's only because he was dancing. And it's too close. So Peter is just always trying to learn something. Oh, you know, she's having her art show. Well, you know, I understand art very well because you know Peter.

Peter's an artist and, you know, he likes to make rhymes. And so I want to play you this rap song from Peter and it's like, kill your stupid pussy bitch. She's like,

oh, that's so good, Peter. You're so talented. Oh, you know Peter. He's so talented. It's like all about raping some woman in an alley. She's like, oh, that's great. It's going to do great on the iTunes.

Pretty much every woman on Real Housewives of Miami had like one or two lines. Even Adriana. I just always make you laugh. It's not up to my standards. Oh, yeah. When she was walking through her houseboat and she's like, how am I supposed to live on this boat? This boat is not up to my standards. Not to my standards.

Not to my standards. And, of course, tear it down. How fun is that? You know what I would do with this house if I owned it? So what? It's bigger than a mall. Who cares? Tear it down.

Build a new one. You know what I'm going to do? Tear it down. Build a new one. You know what I'm gonna do? Tear it down. Afterwards I'll be invoicing them. How fun is that? This show used to be called Dinner with Ladies and then they changed it to Housewives because I thought who wants to have dinner with these idiots? Tear it down. Tear down that show. Let's build a housewife show.

And then of course there was Dr. Karen Sierra's mother. I hate him. Yes. The celebrity dentist's mother who didn't approve of the boyfriend. One of my favorite conversations in this was when all of the mothers were together. And we got to see all of those crazy accents in one room. We also have Mama Elsa, who is, you know, the resident psychic or whatever.

And all the mothers were talking about politics, and I was dying. Like, when Mama says it, I hate him. Oh, what a loser. Oh, Mellisor. Oh, Mellisor. Mellisor. Melisor. Oh, Melisor.

Melisor. I'm a drag geek. And today at this dinner party, I have seen that Larsa Pippen's husband is cheating on her. Larsa's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That old lady's mean. She's like, you are going to die alone. She had that Muppet vampire laugh. Von, von, von, Pop-Tart.

Poor Mama Elsa. I hope she's been recovering well from her stroke. It's too bad about that. But she, in the early days this podcast we we did a lot of mama elsa impersonations that's for damn sure oh love me some mama elsa i wish i could remember actual quotes but she's just always so crazy i don't really remember i'll have to i'll have to look in the in the files on computer number three to see if there's anything. Oh, pickles, spit it out. Pickles. I remember her.

Um, I remember her dancing around in that free flowy robe when she was alone in the house and saying, I love to be alone. Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Oh, yes. Okay. So our, probably our all time favorite on this show. In terms of like running gags, the one that has probably permeated the most because we cannot stop. We cannot stop doing these voices even outside the podcast. When we hang out, we are doing the voices.

Constantly. Constantly. It never ends. And that is The Real Housewives of Melbourne. Oh, Ronnie, how awful. How awful. What a terrible thing to say. Why would you say it like that?

What an awful person, Ben. What a terrible thing to say. I've got to go to the loo. What an awful person, Gina. Did you just say that? Oh, Gina. Most of our fun started with that one in season one when everything gina did they would just say what an awful person especially that andrea bitch who's no longer on yeah andrea

was the worst and the thing is that andrea she would delight in making these awful awful jokes she'd be like you know they call gina i call a woman with two legs and two arms that's a woman i think i actually did the the and joke in reverse, by the way. I did the punchline first, then the setup. But that's okay. That's still better than her jokes. You know what? Whenever I see monkeys in the cage, I think of Gina, because she really likes monkeys.

What do you call a lawyer with a long thing in her hand? Gina holding a pencil. Because Gina's a lawyer, and she likes to hold pencils every now and then to write things. And then, of course, Gina had really witty retorts like, And I only said that because it's a quote, all right? Don't get mad at me. Or, oh, look at this. It's Eddie Expert.

Eddie Expert. Some of the most fun came this year with Ms. Gamble. Yeah. Oh, Wolfie. Wolfie is so successful. Wolfie. Wolfie. I had to go on the internet.

And one time I was on the internet on Madness.com and I found Wolfie. Oh, Wolfie. Oh, Wolfie, Wolfie. Wolfie got me a princess cat and he also got me a coaching cat. So the princess cat will have something to relax on when he's tired. Oh, sometimes I get a little naughty and I start talking about

feminism. He's like, well, it's feminism. It's feminism. We also had new quoting capabilities thanks to Petiflur.

Petiflur. Petiflur. You have to switch the bitch. That's what you have to switch. Switch the bitch. Switch the bitch. I'm freaking out. I am freaking out about my party.

I'm freaking out. I'm switching the freaking out bitch. I'm freaking out. And then, what else did we have? Oh, I loved her. I come from a poor family. I know what it is like to make it on your own because I'm from a poor family.

And when I did a first handjob, no one was there to give a handjob to a rich person. I figured that out. I told myself, listen, right now you are a poor bitch. Next, you are going to be a rich bitch. Switch the bitch. And handjob it was. Here I am. Empire.

And then there's Lydia. Lydia who always had stupid things to say. She's like, I went to the 71th floor of the hotel. And I looked out over all the Philippines. And I couldn't find my housekeeper's parents. And that's when I remembered. She's my daughter now. housekeeper's parents and that's when i remembered she's my daughter now i was walking into this store and it reminded me of paris because in paris they closed the stores

just for you just like this tj maxx did for me it's like shut up lady yeah i was thinking i was thinking that i love shoes so much and then i discovered they'd made a shoe just for me, and it was called a shoe store that was so generous. This also kind of includes her, but one of the nicest housewives of all time who only started tarnishing her reputation this year at the very end and really didn't even tarnish that much was chica chica with a gay husband and a lesbian here hey it's chica over there and everyone else kind of talks about her like uh there's chica and she's like hello i'm the most positive person you've ever met hi there so chica never really had anything to do except show off her gay husband who wore a pant so tight that you could see the nuts hanging down to his knees uh so they would be like okay chica today you're gonna go look at petty floor's house she'd be like petty floor what a wonderful house what luxury is that a balcony

actually it's one of seven seven balconies that. Oh, you're so lucky. What a lucky woman. All right, what should I do this episode? Still nothing? All right, I'll go over to Lydia's. Lydia, what a wonderful living room. How luxurious, Lydia. Look at these drawers.

If I just touch these drawers, they close just for me. Look at that electric drawer. Lydia, how luxurious. Lydia, is that a chair? Oh, you know what I love to do? I love to sit. But I also love to stand. I love they have an option to sit or stand.

That's just so wonderful. It's so luxurious. You know, sometimes I put my daughter on the ground and I make her sit on her hands and knees. And then I put my feet on her shoulder and I call her Otto, like Ottoman. Hello, how luxurious, not as luxurious as your chair with a real Ottoman. That's luxurious. Meanwhile, there was also Jackie who would walk around and she pretty much kind of like would try to force her catch phrase but it never would catch on except with us because we would repeat everything she would say

so it's like shine shine shine that's so couture that's so couture jackie yeah jackie's stupid catchphrases i'm the only one here i'm the new web i'm from two you know these women are from torak i mean you know women in torak are different. That's not where I'm from. I mean, they're crazy. Look at these women. Shine, shine, shine. Shine, shine, shine. Shine, shine, shine. I'm a psychic. Look, it's about to rain. While she's standing in the rain. The angels told me to get a boob job, so I got a boob job. Shine, shine, shine.

Couture. The angels told me I was going to marry a man that looked like Danny DeVito and played the drums, and here I am, married to him. Danny DeVito playing Johnny Depp's part in the Pirates of the Caribbean. That's me. Love you, honey. Love you. Of course I'm happy.

I'm gorgeous and I'm rich. Shine, shine, shine. I'm gorgeous, I'm married and I'm rich. I'm going to get into a helicopter. I'm going to go fly close to the demons and the angels, see if I can get any You're going to get into a helicopter. You're going to go fly close to the demons and the angels.

See if I can get any of the ratings up there in the class. What was her thing this year? It wasn't sign, sign, sign. What was her thing this year? That's so couture. Oh, couture. Couture. Couture. And of course, there was Janet, who...

Janet's best line was her impersonating Gamble. Everybody... Everybody in Melbourne. Oh, no. Oh, Carlos. You know, I was worried about Carlos coming into this group of women because these women will eat him like a piece of chicken. Everybody in Melbourne. coming into this group of women because these women will eat him like a piece of chicken. Everybody! Oh, man.

Oh, my God. We love you real hands-wise, Abel, but I think this has literally been a three-hour podcast, man. Literally, it's like a 200-minute podcast for our 200th episode. Seriously? Oh, we should do that. How many more minutes do we have to make it 200 minutes?

Literally, if you ask me one more time, my wall is up. My wall is up. I'm literally gonna be on the floor crying right now, okay? I can't talk about it. My wall is up. Wall is up. Wall is up. I need my wall up. So how long is it? Let's see. This has been two hours and five minutes, and the last one was 30 minutes. So how many minutes has that

been? Count them up, Ben. I don't do math or I'm a real housewife. I regret to tell you that two and a half hours is only 150 minutes. 15? 150. Two and a half hours. Well, once we do that next issue

where you know it's going to be 10 minutes long. I'm making those longer and longer. Last week I did it as Ramona. And it was long. it was longer than the actual real housewives of new york of the week i know hey if you've made it this far in the podcast i salute you if you've been listening to all 200 episodes i salute you even more ronnie i mean i'm ready for the next 200 oh my god ben i love you so much, my little friend. I love you, Ronnie. I love you. You're a wonderful... You're a blessing. You're just a wonderful...

You're like a house that you could just walk into. You're just wonderful. Ben, I'm really glad I met you and we're having lunch together. I just wanted you to know that everybody in Melbourne is saying that you're a whore and you have sex parties with old people. But that's just a rumor. I'm going to sue you, hell apple. I do want to plug really quick before we go. I know there's like two people left listening to this. I'm making Big Brother in two minutes videos.

And I am, by the time this is done, by Friday, my Luann song will be posted. So go to iTunes and search for Not Girl Code. And you'll have that. And those are my plugs for the day. Yeah, those are good plugs. Those are good plugs. And also, thank you, audience, for actually giving a shit.

You know, it's the first thing I've ever done in my life that anybody's ever cared. Oh, Ronnie. No, and I don't say that in like a be mean to myself way i make the same amount of effort with everything i do but this one like actually caught on you know thanks everybody i know and can you believe we've been doing it for three and a half years talk about time flying this is my longest relationship that's it's a big deal i'm freaking out i am freaking out at three and a half. I'm freaking out. I am freaking out. At three and a half years, I'm freaking out. Ben, if you ever need me at two in the morning,

please feel free to call me and pour your heart out to my voicemail. And I'll listen to it the next day. Well, I want you to know that if we decide to hit for the 200-minute mark, it'll be two in the morning by the time we hit it. Because it's 1 a.m. in New York right now. And now I have to do post-production on this. And probably everyone's wondering where the hell our podcast is i'm sorry people there was a storm there was a storm david david david david it was a disastrous day and that's fits just with our theme darling yes technical difficulties lack of professionalism

rampant swearing strange voices and a whole bunch of fun. And Matt missed it for work. Nothing's changed. Riley. Guys, we love ya. Thanks for all your support. Alright. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years.

One of the funniest people out there. And I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here.

And it's funny. And it's funny. And I love you. To the insurance company that spurned me. Our time together has come to an end. It's not me. It's you. We both know what I'm talking about. 15 minutes ago, I began courting Geico.

It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tears you were sure to impose. My heart and my coverage now belong to Geico. Sincerely, not yours, Tara in Telluride. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Happens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.