Watch What Crappens - #2005 RHOM: Whack Job

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens* Real Housewives of Miami spends its second reunion allowing Larsa to make more an more of an ass of herself. It's gold. Pure gold, Jerry! For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Well hello and welcome to what's what happens! A podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Geo Bros. I'm Ronnie. Hi everybody. Welcome to the show. I'm with the gorgeous and talented Ben, his usual. Come on, Ben. Get on the camera. How are you?

Good, how are you? Great thanks. Happy Monday. Happy Monday, Ben. Everybody, we're so excited because we're about to travel for two weeks for Watchwell Krapins live, the live version of Watchwell Krapins, just how it sounds. This Thursday, we are actually going to be in Denver, Colorado, and we are going to be recapping Vander Pump rules.

And then Friday, the, hold on, I'm getting the date set, because you know, it was a 23rd and a 3rd. It's a 23rd and 24th, yeah. So then Friday will be in Salt Lake City at the Depot, and we will be recapping the first episode of Real Girl, Real Girls Trip. Wait, Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. You know, it's the third season I still can't say. I know.

Real Housewives. Ultimate Girls Trip, Thailand, season three. Yes. That's going to be amazing. It's super fun to have that show back. So come join us for that. Then the following week, we're going to be on the 30th and 31st, Seattle and San Francisco. We are going to be doing pump it one of those, not sure at the other one.

So just, we're not sure what we're doing. We'll announce it next week. So just come check out our Instagram. You'll know today is crap and it's on to man. So we're both on camera talking to you. Oh, guy. I allow you to watch a video. So I coming over to patreon.com slash watch what crap and signing up.

The crap and on to man level. Ohhram.com slash watch what crap is signing up the crap is on to man level okay. I have two small things to add to this one is that when we're in Denver we are scheduled to be guests on daily blast live which is a TV show so and it's nationally syndicated so if you if it's if it's something that you receive on your television box be sure to watch us on Thursday. And second of all, notably, Real Housewives Ultimate Girls' Trips season three has not won

but two Salt Lake City women on there and we're going to Salt Lake City. So I feel like that's gonna make our Salt Lake City show extra special. So, and you never know what's gonna happen in Salt Lake City when we're there. So, I'm just gonna say, people should come to our show because I think it's gonna be, I think it's gonna be good.

Guys, I'll give you a hint about the guest. His name, it rhymes, his name is something like, Brigham opposite of old guys. Opposite of old guys. Okay, I'll give you a hint. His name rhymes with carries Grandfather Slash musband

Just kidding not him Sligum John Yeah, for sure come that should be for we don't we probably won't have any guests, but we will be the guests. Okay, we're special guests to Salt Lake City. We've never meant a Salt Lake City. We don't know anything about that place except that everyone eats Italian food at all times. What are the other?

Just gone there. Yeah. We'll just gone up biggest restaurant in Salt Lake City. Yeah. And every party takes place on the same roof with the swimming pool. So we know that. That's where our after party should be. We have to find that swimming pool,

and that's where our after party will be. And someone can make us a cake in the shape of Whitney's boobs and we'll just stuff our face into it like Seth. Yeah, so that's going to be a fun week. So come check that out. Take a short watch at crappens.com. OK, let's get into this. This is Real Housewives of Miami reunion part two

of season five. Wow, Larza, you know, man, what do you think? Someone can't grow anymore and they're stupidity. They just shock you, don't they? I mean, human beings really have just such beautiful qualities and being able to grow at any age. You can keep growing. Even if it's just stupidity you're growing.

You know? Stupidity can always grow. I think she, I think like among the many adjustments she's had to her body, she's also had a stupidity adjustment. Like she's like, I want, you know, I just want a larger, I want my size D. I want a size D stupidity, you know?

I want a stupidity. I want a turbo D is stupidity, you know, I want to I want to mention put on my fucking stupidity. Yeah, I want to be in a triple D cup stupidity, you know, you got it. She got it. So we're back with Andy and he's like, hey, so Lisa, I mean, do you feel like you were attacked all season or Alexia? Alexia,lexia was attacked all season. Because we are picking up and the alexia is the both the biggest star and the biggest victim. And she's accused everybody of bringing up her pain to use for camera time,

except she forgets if she brings up her pain literally every five minutes. I mean, I think even in this reunion, it's only been one part so far. She's already been like, oh, really? Like, I have to deal with it in my life. Like, all of one part so far. She's already been like, oh, really? Like, I have to deal with it in my life. Like, all of the things I have to deal with in my life, oh, really, really, really?

Oh, well, you know, so we're in the middle of that. So he's like, so you feel that all season? And of course, maybe it's because you're too traditional. And Alexia's like, oh, well, you know, I believe it. And I encourage all of you to believe it, you know, because Lisa's saying like, yeah, well, you keep saying like you're a star, you're a star.

Oh, well, you know, I believe it. I believe I'm a star, you know? And if you believe that Lisa, then you would not have let Lenny do all the things that he's done to you. Oh, well, that's it. And the whole group is like, boom! It's like real-time audience feedback.

Everyone booze that because that was low, right? And Andy's like, oh. And Nicole's like, that's not nice, and she just shrugs. And Nicole's like, there's Alexia, good job Alexia, good job. And she's applauding her. Yeah, there she is, there's the girl. And Lisa's like, that was wrong. You shouldn't just say that.

She's not Lisa, because you know what? This is not about me, and you don't stick up for anybody. This is not about me And Lisa's like listen you took an out of context, okay? And that's not how I said I was sticking up for people against you I just feel like sometimes you don't let other people finish their Seas you talk. Oh, yes, I do. I let them finish their sentence all the time all the time That was a good sentence, you know, you just talk over this is how I don't talk I'm sorry. I'm and this is'm able to overcome all of the things in my

life, listen to all of the things all you have to do is watch a show to see all of the things I over I come over in my life, okay? You can't cut you can't you can't come over things without talking over things. That's how it works. Oh, yeah, Lexia is pulling, she's just doing some very classic Reality star stuff like from the real world like that's just the way I am like that's just how I am I talk over I don't know if you finish your sentence that's just what I am It's like if you you critique her you're actually like taking away a quintessential part of like her being Yes, you're like trying to drown her nature. You're like don't be yourself All those posters you see that say just be yourself. They're wrong. Don't be yourself. Nobody wants. But if yourself is a murderer,

or like yourself is a cheater, or a liar, don't be yourself. I don't want you to be yourself. I feel like we all have a duty not to be ourselves. If I was just myself, I'd be on the side of a freeway cursing people out all day and robbing water burgers. It's my duty to not be my inner self. And also, I have to congratulate Alexa because she's showing there's a lot more commonality between generations, because the younger generations get a lot of flack these days for things like, this is just who I am, this is what I need. These are my boundaries and people like, oh, grow up, snowflakes, but just goes to show, it doesn't matter what age you are, you can still pull the, that's just who I am. That's who I am, you know, so

Congratulations. Yeah. So you can be a baby at any age. I'm proof. That's right. Okay. So she's like, well, I'm I overcome everything in my life because I believe in myself. And then he goes, well, that's my tool. And she goes, yeah, that's me. That's me, Andy. So he's like, all right. So the rap this up, is there anything you will need to apologize for ever in history? Alexia? Oh, I need to apologize to Julia because it wasn't to her as a person. Like, I didn't want to hurt you as a person. I was just saying Russian ladies are horse. Like, I know you're a Russian lady, but I just meant like all of the Russian ladies are horse. Not you necessarily. Okay. Yes. So I know you're a Russian lady, but I just meant like all of the Russian ladies are horse. Not you necessarily, okay? So I hope you got that. I like, I didn't want to hurt you because, you know, as a Russian lady, you have so much to deal with as it is being prostitutes, you know? So like, I didn't want to add more to the prostitution plate by making fun of your

plate of prostitution. Yeah, that's all. You have enough to swallow in life, you know what I mean? So, and to Gurdie too, because I feel like that was a miscommunication, you know, bro? Like you were saying, like you couldn't do my wedding and I was saying, fuck you, you can't do my wedding. What do you think you're too good for me? And you know, so that's how that happened. So sorry about, sorry you think you're too good to do my wedding. So I was like, wow, you really suck at apologies.

So now it's time to take a break. We see every single break on this reunion. I mean, it's literally like a boxing match where then everyone goes to their corners and we see the coach like rubbing the shoulders and Marisol is a Lexus coach. She's like, well, I want to you, bro. I think it's over.

I think you did a good job. You did a good job. And like I said, you know, it's, you know, this is a constant thing. This is happening all the time. It says almost as constant as the month of prostitution in Russia with the women, you know? You know, they all gang up on me. It's crazy.

And we've been here the longest. We've been doing this like the longest. Like, I'm rocky and like, now this is Crete. Okay. We like Crete time. I'm like Sylvester Stallone. Okay. I've been here since the 70s.

Yeah. So then Nicole and her corner is like, well, you know, she apologized to Julia because like she had to, but like she made a statement about an entire population of women. And if she, if like, she didn't apologize on national television, like they would cancel her.

And she just gave you like a half-astopology, but like, dude, you still did not scroll down. Like she did not scroll down. And she didn't scroll down under apology. So funny. Oh, and then we see the clip of Alexi going, oh, by the way, he didn't have an unfair at all because look, you have to scroll,

you have to move it all the way down. I didn't do that. And then refusing to apologize. And he's like, well, that apologize for the slander and she's like, no, that's one thing I won't do, bro. They show that clip every week and I crack up every single time. So, it's like, well, I apologize for the slander. And she's like, no, that's one thing I won't do, bro. They show that clip every week and I crack up every single time. So it's both like, yeah, like what?

You didn't scroll down. So like, like they just don't understand the repercussions of things. And Gerdy goes, you know what? Justice for Adriana. Justice for Adriana. Just for her. Also, can you please explain to me what this word is?

What is it? Is it so far? I feel like I'm getting closer. So is it Ziggy? The cartoon from the 80s. Ziggy. Is it Ziggy? I've had to your head. So then Adriana is in her room, but she's kind of like in this back bathroom area of a room, but like they don't give Adriana any respect on the show.

They won't make her a real housewife. First of all, when she kind of helps carry the show, I mean, both seasons, she's brought the drama that carries the storylines the entire season, okay? And they won't make her housewife. And now they won't even like give her a light in her dressing room or anybody to ask her questions. She's stuck in like a back smack room in the dark. Her room is literally a friend of room. Like it's like the friend of version of a room. Like there's like a main in housewife room. Like like it's like the friend of version of a room like there's like a main house Wife room like this like that if it was like the real rooms of Miami or something like that like all these rooms would be holding little candles or something

And then hers is just like the friend of and it's like a nook It's like we're filing cabinets used to be that they they dollied them out to make her little glam session Or did or didn't she's like literally sitting on filing cabinets like they do not give a shit. It's like your hotel room when we did South by Southwest. Remember how your hotel room had like industrial racks in it and like you walk when you walked into your hotel room you have to walk by several industrial racks to get into the actual room. That's like for the floor. The hotel did it too where they were like it's South by Southwest. We need to just clear out the laundry, you know, clear out the janitors closet throw

that in there. He'll take it. And we did. We did. We're like, thank you. So let's see. So then Adriana was getting her makeup touched up like we said. And Alexia comes to Julia, who's got the main room, right?

She's got lighting in a hairdresser and everything. So, Lexi comes and she's like, oh, hi, I just wanted to say thank you so much, bro, for being so kind and warm and accepting my apology because it means a lot to me, okay? It really does. And Julia, it's like, uh, thank you. I mean, this, thank you very much. and Adrianna's rolling her eyes to the back and To be a thank you know No, I know when Adrianna made this terrible comment about Frankie and Alexi goes oh no No, no, no, no, I don't need to talk about this again She goes no, I just want to talk about about because it was at the beach and then we see a clip of unseen footage seven months ago At the beach there in the Bahamas.

I mean, Julia, Julia's talking to all the women and Adriana's not there. And she's like, oh, there's, you know, there's, I feel like there are some unsolved issues from the past. Some unsolved mysteries, which is why I'm wearing trench coat and hat right now. And I think it says what's bothering Adriana. And the Lex is like, no, no, no, they're like, they're liking her head. It's local. She's local.

She's local. No, I don't think local. No, I don't think local. No, I don't think local. So she's like, well, listen, I don't want to talk to you, okay, because I don't want to talk to you. So go over there because you're not a feminist, okay? So don't try to turn this into an LGBTQ A community

because I'm more that than you She's trying to make it sound like Julia's playing the gay card like I know a woman But she didn't say anything even close to that. She's never played the gay you know She's never played a victim card at all and so Lexi is losing the fight So she's like how dare you play the victim card. I'm more LGBTQ than me. Really? Were you making fun of trans people? Literally last season? She really had like that trans folk. It was at pride when there was like a trans person, a trans woman specifically. And Lexi goes, oh, that's a guy. That's a dude.

That's a dude right there. She was the dude right there. She was the marshal. She was a fucking grand marshal. Okay. She's so, so crazy. I'm more than that. I'm more than you. And Julia's like, what? So then we come back and Alex is like, listen, it's been many years with me and Adriana.

I don't know how long you've been her friend. Okay. But I've been a gay woman for a very long time. And it's like proud gay black woman. I would like to say. Okay, stop playing the Jewish card. So, so like, it's like, oh, well, you know, Adriana, like literally told me that they found my husband dead in my husband, in my lovers, in my husband, in my husband, she's like so flustered, she can't even get up. But she's basically saying, like, hey, Adriana that they found my husband dead in my husband, in my lovers, in my, in my, she's like so flustered, she can't even get up, but she's basically saying like,

Hey, Adriana said they found my husband dead in his gay lover's hands. And so then we see a flashback to last, she's in my, where they're also the other people in Adriana's like, so like at Herman's funeral, like because someone told me he died while he was having sex with a man. And Adriana, like this is the new. And I want to go to more funerals in Miami because these are the best fucking funerals ever.

People just gossip. I know. I mean in Texas we give each other like looks like or but we don't talk about it at the funeral. I love the Adriana heard at the funeral that he died having sex with a man. That sounds like a good funeral. Oh my goodness. And then it's at the now Adriana and Alexi are fighting in this room. Adriana is just sitting in her chair without a mic. You can hear the boom sort of like going over to her. So she's not even mic'd up because they're like, sorry, you're just a friend of so we can barely give them the mic. They're barely giving her the boom. She's having two. No, it's like having to be caught in Julia's mic in the next room.

So she's like, you shut up. And she's like, no, everybody was in shock because you're a disgusting person, Adriana. And she's like, you weren't telling everybody what it wasn't me. And she goes, oh, that he died in bed. And she goes, even Leah was disgusted with you because you're out at Harmon after his death.

And she's like, it's not outing him. That's not outing him, bro. I mean, it kind of is. It is using your husband's sex story, that he was keeping private and like exposing it after he died. I mean, yeah, I feel like that's your story, too, though, right? Yeah, I kind of feel like since it was a, I, I'm going to allow it for Alexia because she was married to him and he was having a

secret gay affair. I feel like she's allowed to be like, whoa, turns out my husband was gay. Why did he was holding a secret life? He was being actually unfaithful to her and she was actually pretty understanding about it after the fact. So she's like. Well, the rumors, of course, are that she always knew and that she was just a trophy wife for, you know, an extremely wealthy gay man, you know. Well, there can be that too.

When he died and she brought it out all on camera like that, it was a huge betrayal. Now, I don't know, but I say when I'm dead, you can use whatever the fuck you want. The storyline for me, I'll be honored to be carried on in this way. And I feel like any gay man would be honored to be remembered on a storyline. That's a storyline on a real housewives show. Because you're welcome. More fabulous for a gay man to posthumously have his sexuality outed and be used as a plot device on real housewives. That is like when you're an Oscar for a gay. So, Alexia's basically like, you're jealous of me. Another classic reality true.

That's when he came to attack me. So why don't you say something like that? Like why did you say that? Now you're mad because I said the truth and now I'm not talking to you. This is Julia's room as well. Stay out of my conversation. I mean, they're both going at once.

I think those are just fragments of things I could pick up amongst the back and forth. Yeah, they're yelling at each other. And then she tells you, you see, this is what happens, right? Okay. She gets in between you and I. And you have to be able to have a relationship with people even if she and I have a problem. You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

Jealous. Jealous. Okay. You're jealous. So Adriana's like, you are outing him after his death. Outing his secret, disrespecting his kids and his family. And Julie is like, Julie, because do you think you can fix it with her? Adriana's like, you're a spruid owner and man, and he is dead. Just trying to get anything picked up by a microphone. I also love age. It worked out. Like, he's like, how can we fix that? But also I love Adriana accusing Alexia of outing

her mom, her mom, her non-want like Adriana. It was like at that table on camera saying, oh yeah, someone came up to me and said that he died in his gay lover's arms. Yeah, Adriana's literally the one who added them. Actually, you're right. Yeah. So then, Julia's like, yesterday the whole day I was at the hospital at a radiology place and I was looking at the sick kids and Martin and well, this is actually serious. She talks about how basically,

you know, given what Martin is going through with her cancer and everything, she sort of realize like, hey, you know, we should be nice to each other. Like we don't have a lot of time, we should treasure life, we should not be fighting with each other, you know, it's like we shouldn't be going at each other, which is like a lovely sentiment that lasts for about 0.2 seconds before the fighting just starts up again. Yeah, that's something you say that's stupid, I think. Like last too short, let's not fight. I say life's too short. Tell people to fuck off what you have the chance. I mean, soon enough, you're not going to have that chance anymore, you know? And nobody's going to have told them to fuck off for you. What kind of life is that? Who wants to go to the grave not

being able to say fuck off to the people they should? You hear of all these people apologizing on their deathbed. You know, we talked about that last week about hating, oh no, I was talking about this, I think with malls, like you, I hate deathbed apology, is I think that's such a fucking cop out. Like you wait and then you apologize on your deathbed just so you can get into heaven. I'm more about like a good deathbed fuck you. Like that's the time you tell your family. I never fucking liked you anyway. Get the fuck out of my room and let me die alone. Like what I intended to do. Get out. It's not basically how moon struck started. Yeah, like in the

like you just want to live live by the moon struck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uncertainty and now more than ever, it's really important to hire the right people faster and more efficiently because you got to keep the overall cost down.

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Go on. Plants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my foods all that good stuff and guess what we can use

Impossible sausages, possible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving and it's better for the planet and it's meat Plant meat correct So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill grab some impossible beef Summer of Impossible. Start making meat history today, just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. So Alexia's like, well, I don't appreciate her making me look like a waiter I'm not,

okay? I'm a star. Like you said, like you said, Julia, I'm a sweet loving person. And everyone blames us. Like everyone blames us, like talking about her and Mary. So you are monsters. You and Mary Sol are both fucking monsters.

And I think it's hilarious that you're crying because of the reaction that you've been getting all season for being a monster. You earned it. Yeah, and then well, Adriana then goes, those are crocodile tears. Those are crocodile tears. I don't have crocodile tears for you.

Okay, like you, okay, because I am emotional because I feel you're the narcissist that has no feelings. Get that in the conversation. What is that even a real move? You attack, you attack, attack, attack, and then we defend ourselves and you don't love it. I'm sorry, ma'am, excuse me. Are you going to a files right now under my chair?

I'm sorry, ma'am, we have to do it. You're in the friend of room. Sorry. Okay, go ahead, go ahead, continue. You're the devil, bro. Like, this is what you do for the show. Like, the only even one here is you, you don't even deserve to be here. Reflection, reflection, reflection, reflection.

That's actually both like her attacking Alexia and also asking if someone can get her a mirror in her room for her. She's trying to tell the PR, the PA who's assigned to her to turn around and act like her mirror since she wasn't given lunch. She's like, pay attention, I need reflection. So then now that everyone goes back to their seats and Alex is talking to me. So she's a crazy person. She needs to be medicated, which is funny. I think you could probably say that about most people on this cast. So Kiki finally comes to the set. So everyone's cheering. Everyone's so happy for Kiki. And Julia's all nice.

She was like, oh, that's a best Kiki. That is so nice. And then Kiki's boob falls out of it. And everyone's like laughing. And they're like, oh my God. Kiki had a wardrobe malfunction. And Andy's just like on his phone does not care. And he goes, oh, really?

Oh yeah, I guess I must have missed it. Sorry. Interesting. function and Andy's just like on his phone does not care and he goes oh really oh yeah I guess I must have missed it sorry and just texting yeah I totally close back to life the second track and camera and he's like well we're back Kiki's joined us a resident burger queen oh I'm aligned to go Kiki and honorary cracking alright just accept Kiki I'm kicking him on a very cocking. Alright, just a sip. Kick you out not that much. You can't dance. God. Like dark crystal Mary soul over there with your your be dazzled cup. Nobody wants a part of that.

Well, maybe once they get up to Bravo from Peacock, then she can afford to have a second cocktail, a tumbler from that. That's to your. So keep that tetan bowl shit to yourself. It's disgusting. Every one of her cups looks like it could cut you and give you rabies. Keep it over there.

It's a relatively cup. Everyone be careful. So Andy's like, Kiki, everyone is talking about your whopper of a moment online. See what I did there? That was wordplay. So Kiki from Fritas is wondering, do you keep that burger in your purse with a whole shoe? How come the wife is it?

And she's like, well, the thing is, I'm so used to eating cold water because there was a time in my life. I could only afford water. So when I'm pissed off, I pulled off a water out of my purse. So when I'm pissed off, I pulled off a wapper out of my purse. Yeah, I love how she tied this into her like, her impoverished younger years. I always keep the wapper just in case. Okay, Kiki doesn't get much time, so she's got to get all of that stuff into one. She's like, I haven't had a victim storyline this year, so here it is. I used to be so poor I could only get a wapper. Then I pulled it out of my first.

Technically she could have gotten a whopper junior too because I think that's smaller version. So Andy's like, well, scotch from tape wants to know, how can Julia miss her, that's right, I'm already moving on from Kiki, you got your one question about a whopper, how can Julia miss her child so desperately yet, not what, no, at school she's attending, Did you ever figure out the name of Emma's school?

And Julia was like, oh well, if Emma hears me now she'll be so cross with me, but because I'm totally dyslexic. I'm embarrassed. I cannot repeat the name of the school because I let the letters in three letters. It's in Paris. And I believe she is majoring in baguettes. I do not know more beyond that. So they start talking about Martinez diagnosis and how they're going to have to put on hold, getting a child and so sad. It is sad. And how does she comes to room. Yeah, obviously. And then Julie is like, you know, we've lived here.

And he says that scene on the dock at the very end when you finally went off the dock with Martina and swam together was so romantic. And she's like, oh, we've lived here for years and I've never been in the water. I love water when it comes to look at, but Martina wants to get to me water ski and the girl said, just jump and it was magic. And Marisol's like, you know, the show does that. It makes us do things we wouldn't do on our normal

lot. Like what get married to a big married friend twice. Marisol be quiet. Marisol's acting like she's out there doing Esther Williams routines. Mary so what are you talking about? You're doing stuff you wouldn't do. You're just like putter around your house and showing up to a party like that's just what Mary. Well, she wouldn't have gotten Mary twice fakely is what I'm saying.

Cause that first one I didn't believe that first one. Oh, that was totally for the show. And the second one is some fucking guy from showtunes night at a piano bar. I don't know. They probably just got wasted together and ended up oh my night. You know, I'm just figured they ain't take as much as I can. Hey, you like cock and he's like actually, yes.

Perfect. Let's get married. All right. Do you? I do. We're married. Dan. She did also turn on Leah in season three and that seemed to come out of nowhere because they're

like really good friends, right? I mean, I guess I was all wrapped up in Adriana's, the whole beef with Adriana, where it turns out Adriana lied about her entire backstory after Leah had like supported her and then everyone went up taking sides and everyone took Adriana's side. Oh my god. Yeah. That's not great. That was some silly drama. You know, it's like my youth. It's done. It's over. It's gone. Okay. I'm just preserving what I have now. Don't bring me back to those times. By the way, I want to say I was very upset that there was no questioning about why that like about Julia not inviting Kiki to her housewarming. There was like that very frosty moment that they had that was after the video shoot.

She didn't invite Kiki, they saw each other again at another party and they were kind of like frosty to each other. And now all of a sudden Julia's like, oh Kiki, Adresi, so pretty. And I'm like, can we get just a single question to see like, hey, what's going on with you two? I was very disappointed.

I guess it's because it's so Adriana centric. Yeah. And, you know, it's like her storyline anyway. So he just, he'll let Adriana have it. So Julie is, yeah, she tells her story and then he's like, you know, wishing the best for Martina, which of course we all do, not gonna make a fun of any of that.

So, and he's like, so so Chris ever from when is Martina When Martina goes it will be when I take her says Martina was carrying your person Bravo Con who got more attention? You're Martina never to hold on that is an amazing question Chris ever I'm never too low on that. That is an amazing question, Chris Everett. Yeah, and I was just talking about how great it is to see like, wow, Martino, holding your present, she's an icon. I mean, she didn't have a documentary, like the last dance. More on that in a bit.

Talk to the one who wrote to you, I wrote. Please let Martino know we love her, and I'd personally love to watch her watch the last dance. Oh, we're right, we're right. We're doing that. Anyway, something that just struck me as funny was that when Marisol said that the show makes and do things that they wouldn't do otherwise and it's very magical and therapeutic, Alexia goes,

I always said that. I said that years ago. I just love that she's just like, she's like in competition at all times. I said that. I said that, because I was star. Yeah. That's her. So they take a break. It's like another break that we get to watch. And Mary says, like, if we're having a small break,

can it be a pain being break? Oh my God, for Christ's sake, someone flushes this woman's kidneys. Just flush them out, put a water hose, do something, help her. And Lisa's like, oh, you know, the makeup girl, Priscilla, you know, who's on all these shows in Priscilla. She has a peepee funnel, and you put it up,

you have a giant, and funnels out the pee. And I was like, uh, I was like, sounds like a yeast infection to me, waiting to happen. Like, can I do it? Can I do that funnel? And Lisa's like, well, nine sides of a China, can I do it? Can I do that? That funnel? And Lisa's like, well, not inside you're China, right? Is there a round you've a China? Well, you have to, you have to have good aim for that. That's for sure. You have to presale that you are working on too many housewives that you're carrying around

piss funnels. Okay. That's one of the time to start looking for different jobs presale, presales. sales. Yeah, yeah. Sil, Silia. Silia? Pris, Pris, Pris funnel. So now they come back from the break and then just like, hey, I have a question. Does anyone ever see Anna?

Right, I heard a rumor she was on next food network star but that, that's crazy. That didn't happen, right? It did. We see a really, we see a really funny clip of Anna being like, oh my god. This is a Thomas's house, right? I know.

Oh my god. I am a stupider person for having come here and sitting here. And he's like, well, who invited you then? I was so mad that we did not get to see. See them shut up all get out My favorite moments of 10 years ago. Yeah So uh, then Nicole says that both um Anna and Leah speaking of Leah both reached out to Nicole. I guess it talks and stuff and then he's like

WEN! and she's like last week and like she's like oh well, I'm not scared. She doesn't know me She doesn't know me and of course like well, I don't repeat things I don't know of so I don't call around spreading rumors Which okay, but you did just to bring up Leah and Anna is a threat now Why else would you have brought them up by the way love your style? Why else would you brought them up by the way love your style? Like say that everybody say that So what about sad what am I say that?

Stop talking He's losing his mind So then we go to countdown and welcome back. I'm Abby gurdy She raids from doesn't involve holding an iPad to your head says, You get the women that very extravagant gifts. You get what counts most. Is it true that you and Russell get busy three times a week? Oh yeah, and we've like, up to since his revelation, you know, that, that, you know, like, revelation.

You know, the revelation that like all of America was talking about. Um, not sure. Don't you remember like when we sat outside and know, the revelation that like all of America was talking about. Um, not sure. Don't you remember like when we sat outside and there was the revelation? I think you think more people think this revelation was a revelation than it just a passing comment. You know that he could have more sex. Oh, okay. Med want more sex. What a shocker.

Um, so then Andy's like, so who here besides Grittyitty has the most sex and then of course they're all claiming to Well, I do because it's the old house. I was like my vagina still works, you know, it's like that old thing and when guys do it It's all that's all guys talk about to you. It's like oh, yeah, I do it. It's like the cast of Southern charm Yeah, I needed all the time brother Yeah, and so Lexia was what I do. I have the most. And then Nicole's like, well, I mean, I have good sex. And then, you know, she's into like good sex.

She's like, yeah, like three times a week. And I said, oh, well, that's a minimum. That's a minimum, which yeah, minimum. And our thing, of course, had the image of Alexia and Todd. I'm just imagining Todd having sex, which is like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh yeah. Ha ha ha oh yeah Damn it that's god Jesus fucking Christ

God what is it trash that you just run empty in it all out today? You know real rude oh yeah yeah real rude oh yeah Not one likes a rude woman. Oh yeah give it to me He was my friend that lawyer's rude woman. Oh, yeah, give it to me. He was my friend. That lawyer's my friend. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what are you gonna send him some designers? Oh, God, yeah. You coming me, all coming you all to, oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. So that's a minimum. And Larsa's like, well, I was married for like 23 years and like swear to God, like not even kidding, like swear. Like I've always like had like sex, like four times, like 23 years and like swear to God like not even kidding like swear Like I've always like had like sex like four times like a night like three times a week is nothing Four times a night Lawrence every single night for 20 years think that that makes her look good You know whenever people say shit like that. I just think you have

Troubles you know what I mean? It's like Mary so like bragging about like being just like a drop dead alcoholic. Like why is that? Or are you bragging about that? This is sad, you know? Like you're just a used up, tattered old fleshlight at this point. I mean, can you even hold in your B anymore? Like, how does that work? Well, I just, I don't, I just, it just doesn't, I don't believe it. Okay, like, it just, I mean, even Andy's like, yeah, but there are like, away games, just, no, but like, I would like, oh, we'd never spend a moment away.

Like, I was there, I would be in the locker room, like, like, I was there, I was actually like, I'm the team, I don't know if you noticed you noticed but like every time Scotty had like a rebound like I would then be like right there We just have like quick sex Yeah, we had a private plane like so it was like private so like I was like always first of all you ding dong We know that this is a fucking my do you forget that we watched you on this show eight years ago I know talking about never ever seeing your husband and never ever having that alone time. All of the time that you've been, I mean, you're so foolish that I can't with this lady.

But it's like such an outrageous lie. Like, it's not, it's not even like, if she said, oh yeah, yeah, we have to have sex five times a week. She's just like four times a night, every single night with no breaks for 23 years. I'm like, I just don't believe that, Larsa. Yeah. So, um, and he's like, wait, every night, she's like, yeah, for 23 years, I never had a night off. And Lisa's like, you pull off a giant hat.

And he goes, wait a minute, 28 times a week for 23 years. We're getting two digit numbers times two digit numbers. It's very confusing. Basically, it anybody on this stage, but that's a lot. That is a lot. Wow. Well, markets has big shoes to fill. Yeah, well, he like wears like a 15 shoe like. So I think he's okay like. like a 15 shoe like so I think he's okay like okay well last time you said you hadn't talked to Scott about Marcus this never comes up in between the two of you and she's like well I feel like the only conversations like that we need to have ours about the kids and like X Y and Z and like our kids are like at the point now where like they literally have cell phones So like if they have a problem they can literally call me with their literal cell phones that they have

Well, it doesn't Scottie junior get any crap on his team It's like no because you know what like all the times like swear to God they could be giving him crap He's having sex like he has sex probably like 19 times today Andy. It's true. It's like crazy Like is that He has sex probably like 19 times today Andy. It's true. It's like crazy. It's like his dad. Have they all hang out with Mara Kis? Like what's that like? And she's like, they like it.

They like it a lot. They're always like, mom, this is weird, which I think is like Gen Z slang for. Like that's so cool. And mom, you look like you're 28. So I'm like, come on guys, say it over and over again. They do. They say it every single time.

So we asked if she's hung out with Michael Jordan and she's like, you know what? Like honestly, like to be real, like seriously, like I don't like want to talk about him. I just like, I want to talk about like me. You know what I mean? Because like Marcus and I, like that's what I want to talk, which is why you're dating Michael Jordan's son. Give me a fucking break. It's like all of her answers. I don't want to talk about the Kardashians. Yeah, you just wanted to use them so someone would give a shit what is going on in your life. But they still don't. Okay, you rapid fucking user. Like at war more like last season when she got extremely offended because Adriana said that she's all

Kanye West penis at an event, which by the way is one of the funniest fights that we've ever had. Bravo, but she got all outrage because the outrage therefore implies that there's a closeness that she has with Kanye West, which by the way, I guess they're calling it backfired with you. It's like saying like, I want to stand up for a huge anti-Semite right now. Right. So Andy's like, but you understand the dynamics of this are loco, right? I mean, I'm so glad you're like, I'm so glad to give you the history of your accent, Michael. And I mean, the dynamic is like last dance, whoa.

Whoa. Marcus, my last dance sequence like last, wow. It's like another dance after the last dance blows my mind that there could be another dance. and at least it just goes love is love Don't take what now now you I know because I'm the most LGBTQ a woman here, okay She can use the card. Okay. She can use the card. I love love love. It's love No, hey, that's not supposed to apply to fucking your friends' children.

It's not supposed to apply to Barkas Jordan. It applies to people who are on the receiving end of homophobia and who are getting beaten up on streets and having legislation formed against them in the various states that you're filming in. Oh my God. That legislation formed against me. You have to scroll to the bottom. It's crazy. So Lars is like, you know what? Honestly, for real, I honestly feel like I feel like people don't really understand. I feel like I don't really know Marcus because I didn't know him till a few years ago because I I was with Scotty the last

year he played with Michael and then Michael was going through divorce and like I didn't know his wife like I didn't know his kids like I didn't know nothing about him. So like we didn't have like families like intertwined. So honestly, I didn't even know who Michael Jordan was. I really thought that I was actually, you know, I thought I was actually like marrying like Creed's son. Oh, yeah Well, you know, we're older than Creed. Just want to say that I am Creed the movie's about me. I'm the most LGBTQ a Creed. There is okay

So and he's like well, but if Michael Jordan's ex why I started dating Scotty junior, don't you think you might be like Jordan's ex-wife started dating Scotty Jr. Don't you think you might be like oh she's like no I don't care like honestly like as long as my sense like happy like you're right yeah right oh my god so her son came home with anybody even close to something like Larza is Larza would lose her fucking mind. Oh, yeah, it would be a disaster. It's time for commercial. It's time. Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writer's room.

Each episode members of the writer's room and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2 2 starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to and just like that, the right is room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, okay, well, Horace from Grants says, Larsa gets, Larsa gets an ounce of truth and tries to personally detonate people's lives. What do you think about that Larsa? Oh, here's another one.

Dennis from Rodman has a different take. He says, I'm starting to become a Larsa fan. She really follows them. Andra, don't start none. Won't be none. We'll marry someone's son. Ha, what do you think about that? Shh, shh, shh. Lady of show hands does largely hit below the belt

more than four times a night. And they all raise their hands. And well, the other couch raises their hands. And Gurdys, like, she doesn't tonight. She doesn't tonight, okay. She's a pippin. That's what she does. She takes shots.

And Kiki's like, listen, if you guys feel like you are being bullied or attacked, you have a right to defend yourself and that's what she does. And Mary says, well, she is just so confident and amazing. I just love watching her. I wish I could be like that. I feel like she's a reactionary, which of course, as we all know, means a raging conservative and that's exactly how I'm meant to use the word reactionary in this moment. So Andy's like, yeah, but season one, remember she says them stuff about your mom that you didn't love Marisol. Do you remember that Marisol? Do

you remember that? And then we see a flashback to their first reunion, which is so funny because that was when they're all sitting on like folding bridge chairs in the water happened. It was like original studio and they're all crammed in there. It was just like the most low budge of any reunion we'd seen to that point. It was. The most low budge it was the one that was like in Vicki Gumbelsons backyard.

Yeah, so I was gonna say yeah, that's definitely the most, but it's also just seeing all their faces is very, especially Larsa's especially. So she's like, well yeah, but like I'm a fighter and like when I fight, like I like to like win and like not lose when I fight. Like so if you like come for me

and you like say something to make me feel like more like I should hurt you, like then I'm gonna hurt you the same way you hurt me then. And so he's like well Lars is toads from our crusty say that you're devoted fans call themselves Larsen is. I love that. Larsen is I don't mean I don't get the joke, but it seems cool. Marisol of course jumps in and goes, I have Mary soldiers. No, you don't. I've never fucking heard the term Mary soldiers. No, you don't.

And this is not about you. This is my package. This is my package. Okay. Everybody shut up. This is about me. Marisolgers, I guarantee you the only Mara soldier is like the guy who works in that sketchy doctor's office with the fat shots. You know, is a Mara soldier? Yeah, maybe there's like Mary's soldiers like people who sold, you know, different body parts

onto you to keep them on there. But I don't think there's an eye in there. Okay. So Anne is like, well, when Larza first brought up Julia kissing a man, you denied it, and then she had proven you admitted it, Julia. And we see a clip of that. Her going, what?

The kissing a man. I wasn't even there. And then her saying, he has a picture. Oh, yes, who like his man? I like him. So Julia has an equally murky explanation. She goes, oh, I love this question. So you know why I denied it? God. But another reason why is because Larser said somebody told me

they've seen you in last week. And I was like, I wasn't even there. And Larser is like, I saw, but like I said, I said my the week before. Yes, but last week was May. And the week that I was there was January, but we don't, but guess what February Three less days in month. So there you go. Yeah, but like they told me last week that they saw you last week So if they told me last week that they saw you last week that would be four weeks ago. Did the math? stupid I do math because daughter in class out school in Paris and it's five class on to two class on the seven class on that's where she told me and what I learned is that this dress I have nothing to hide because this dress is by my

him time my best friend Shri stand up? Andy, I can stand up. I can stand up as a guy. Wow. While you were sitting and now you're standing and now you're sitting again in that dress, why that takes some real confidence. None of that exonerated Julia whatsoever. Like none of it made sense. Well, she's saying her. Yes.

She's saying she's wearing the designer's dress who she was seeing kissing. And then they show us picture. And that's because this is who she's wearing the designer's dress who she was seen kissing and then they show his picture And it's because this is who she was kissing in the four seasons. It's her friend And so Lars' friend is just stirring shit or whatever and so Lexi is like wait, that's who you're kissing I love his stuff. Tell him I'm I'm LG gay PT I actually love this stuff before you did so just want to put that out there I actually love this stuff before you did so just want to put that out there Yeah Well, do you feel vindicated by the news that Lenny admitted to having a mortgage and ours is like I really don't care

I mean like I just wanted to know the truth, you know You need to know that mortgages and things like that. You're such a giver larisie. You are such a giver Well, do you know that having a mortgage is not a bad thing? Lisa? Yeah, of course I know that. And you guys, well, you didn't seem to know it at the time. You were highly offended. You are highly offended. My goodness, I've never seen somebody so defensive over mortgage talks, sir. It's going on in the Andy Cohen mortgage life. He is pissed. He was annoyed at that whole so far. Honestly, it was one of the stupidest fights I've ever seen. And I, and don't forget, I did preside over Juicidora talking about a preacher who wasn't

even on the show getting into an affair. So that was pretty bad. So raise your hand if you have a mortgage because I have several. Anyone, okay, just raise your hand if, if you know what a house is. Okay, at the point okay I want to say it again I want to see you raise your hand again do it again my hands raised my hand is raised right now because it's not the point then like I felt like she was like what oh no Lisa's like it's not the point I felt that she was weaponizing it to make it look like we couldn't afford our lifestyles which is. And it's also true that you probably can't because your husband is literally renting out.

You know, so he's like, well, you guys rented out your house on the weekends. He goes, no, not every weekend. He goes, okay, so I'm weekends. He hates Lisa and Larsa so much. He hates them. Lisa's like, well, yeah, I did lie for Lenny. I mean, I didn't know he was leaving me. There were no signs whatsoever for 13 years. No. No. No. No. None. I didn't want Lenny to get in trouble, you know,

because I don't know if it's legal or not to be renting out our backyard, you know. So I said, hey, what are you talking about? You're crazy. I don't understand these things. I'm from Canada. She's like, yeah, so yes, we have rented out our backyards because lots of rich people do it.

I mean, why not have a party and get paid? Like, yeah, but Lisa, this is like all after that you're coming up with these answers. And he's like, well, you're the one that was so offended, not me. And it calls us, she was offended by the attention of it. And Lisa's like, yeah, that's how rich people get anti. Very, very rich.

All right, well, speaking of attention, Graham from Quaker says, Larsa, it's true that Lisa had a mortgage and it's true that Julie kissed a man. It's not that you're right or wrong. It's that you weaponize information against your friend. What's your reaction to this non-larsenist? How is that weaponizing anything that nobody even cried?

Well, they're not weaponizing it. Well, I don't know. And someone goes, you could have ruined her marriage and she'll speak to you. Hey, Drill. Hey, Drill, like put a mess in the line and no one's talking to you. And the gentleman's like, oh, okay, wow guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, a guy, have to, I like that. You have a mic back on.

Sorry, I'm getting used to it, Andy. I mean, what if Martina didn't know? I mean, that's Martina, the fraud to love us. She was a provo, kind of holding a purse. She almost destroyed her if she wasn't there. Who would carry the purse? So Lars' argument is what I did try to call Julia, but she didn't call me back.

And then when I did confront her about it, we were just standing in a little corner, Andy. With a camera. With a camera. With a camera. With a camera. Yeah. And Julia's like, but I would love it if you would have called me. She's like, I did call you like, and then tell me, I hear something.

That's what real friends do. Just the other day, God told me, I hear chicken hate you. I said I know I'm my ankle already today He's very very lucky to have good friend and God So, Lashley is so funny though because Arsikus, but I I did call you. She was well widened to call me second time Why didn't you know Why did you not tell pigeon to tell chicken to tell goat? So Lars is like, well, I mean, if you're at the fourth season kissing a person truly, you're like, I'm like a platform right now. And like everybody's going to hear about it, especially when I tell everyone.

Yeah, honey. Everyone's going to know honey. And he's like, well, yeah, especially if you're friends, and on TV, and Marisol's like, what? Because Marisol's the worst at this stuff. And so now they're all screaming and yelling at each other. And large, it's like, when a show, we do this in public. And Andy, Andy's like, Larsa, you're up from Slothbase.iti. It says, you have all this information on people. Do you hire investigators?

And she's like, no, it just falls in my lap. Like I honestly don't even talk about people. Like you know, like what the thing, like honestly to be real, like the thing about me is like whatever I have something, whenever I have something, I call the person and I tell them Nicole's like well, I never got a call from you and so and he's like yeah Were you calling her to tell her that she's left with all the doctors in the hospital?

I mean do you hear how ridiculous that sounds do you hear that and and then I am just like yeah the DM You got you get a DM about a random person.. You just automatically believe every random DM you get. And the quote corrects him. She's like, actually, it was Mary Sol. So you got the DM. And Larsa goes, we all get DMs. And he says, okay, so you believe everything. And Mary Sol, go.

Mary Sol who's actually the worst and getting to skate by with everything, like Larsa sucks, I get it. And Larsa does bring up all this stuff. I'm not saying Larsa doesn't suck, but Mary Saul sucks the most. Like she starts all of this and she's skating by on this whole thing

to the point where she's bringing herself into things to try and get in trouble. And Andy still ignores it, which is so funny. But she's like, you know, it's so weird when she said that I was like, I got a DM and now that the show's aired, I'm flotted just flooded with messages confirming it and you've been tagged in these comments Nicole are tagging all of them one of them was it she didn't sleep with all the doctors but she slept with many of the doctors including a married man was she was married so many comments and the close like um are you guys like talking about the account that Larsa created that has like zero followers? I don't do that sweetheart. I don't do that sweetheart. Lippa be on a lie detective test. Okay. It said Larsa. It said Larson is 2351 Okay, I'm pretty sure it was you really because in my life, I've never fake text diseases. I've real jobs not like you putting people to sleep

I literally Could you imagine that she said that? Could you imagine being someone who makes guys calm with their feet telling an actual doctor that she doesn't have a real job during a pandemic I mean, can you believe the balls on this lady. That's the thing. I think that like, Larsa is so shameless and awful that like, you can sort of see her value as this like awful presence.

But like Mara Selle is just sort of just, she's like not bad enough if that makes sense and not good enough, She just marousal. Although I don't think I get her quite as much as you do. I don't hate her. I just get irked by her. You know, I get irked by the fake shot thing. She's a try hard.

It makes me crazy because that's her like try hard personality like to be the wacky sidekick who drinks too much. But if she was really that, I would probably love her. I mean, I love a Patsy stone. You know, that's my kind of character. But I think that really, she's like the Telenovela Evil Awella, which is like the evil grandmother, who's just trying to control everyone's lives and ruin them for no reason. Like she really never has a reason. She just picks up somebody to hate on and she just always tries to bring

them down. She's done it since the beginning and I've just never really gotten it. I like fun evil when it's like people fighting over petty things. I don't like the working behind the scenes and ganging up on people and trying to spread information that's going to like really ruin the person. Yeah, I mean, I don't mind a skimmer on these shows, but you have to be an entertaining skimmer. But like, I think the thing is that it doesn't feel like as authentic or it feels like she's trying to manufacture stuff. I feel like the best version of Marisol is when she and Alexia are together and just breaking into Spanish, sort of like shading other people.

To me, that's like the real Marisol and that's the best version of her. But regardless, Larsa, saying that Nicole doesn't have a real job is just like it's so outrageous. It's crazy. Absolutely hilarious. And Adrienne's like, real job. Being a doctor is not the real job. And Marissa,

it's like one of the point is, she wasn't judging you. We're just pointing out that you're a slut. That's all, okay? I love sluts. And it goes like, I swear to God, you slept with every doctor and she goes, I said I heard it.

I said I heard, just so they heard. God. But they're all talking at the same time while this is happening. And then Andy just loses his Monica's. Ah, you're all talking to the superman. It goes to break. And it comes back and kind of like backtracks a little bit.

The same thing with them, you know, Lars is like, I heard, I heard, I heard, I heard and then Andy screaming at them again. And Marisol's like, well, no money things. You slept with every doctor just the majority of the doctor. And that's all. And Andy says, can I ask you a question, Larza? Do you not think that that's a low blow? She's a doctor.

She says, well, she shows her tits in the ass and says she heard her net giving a blow top. Yeah. And you just said you get pounded like 19,000 times a year. So what? Like who are you? You know, Dr. For your stones, if you live in an only fan's house,

you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I was like to say, Larsa's literal income literal income is from showing to its nests. And I don't think that's anything wrong with that either. I don't think there's shit I would do it. If anybody would give me money for it. Yeah, it's just like you, but you, Larsa can't do it and then get mad at what? Like a doctor is not allowed to dress sexy. I mean, a cool, I don't look at no call, but you, Larsa can't do it and then get mad at what like a doctor is not allowed to dress sexy.

I mean, Nicole, I don't look at Nicole, but like, oh, look at all that chits and ass. Doctor chits and ass coming through. So then Nicole's like, what? Anyway, when I was giving the blowjob, it was to my husband and it wasn't at work. Do not understand that. And Alexi is like, well, I'm going to be agreeing with Larsa. So sorry about that. Sorry about that. Alexia, the delegate at the Miami Convention here, like, well, you know, I took in all the

all the data. I'm sorry, I have to side, I side with Larsa. Like I'm sorry, I'm just going to have to side with the head of the, you know, so Nicole's like, yeah, I'm not doing it at work. And Larsa's like, it doesn't even matter. You show your tits in your ass. And Andy screams again, hold on, hold on, hold on. He's like, do you seriously largely not see that this is anything like that she should be mad about? She says, don't you see how she touched me the whole time?

Andy, and he's like, she said, I wanted to find out about you before she invited you to her house. And she goes, no, the whole time. She said I was a home wrecker. And then we see the clip of Anthony being like, yeah, well, we need to keep her away from the boat captain because he's engaged. And I don't want her wrecking anyone else's hope.

Not saying she's a home wrecker. But the thing is that comment was in season two and Lars is still holding her grudge about, I'm sorry, I meant like season two of the peacock version, but like Lars is still holding a grudge from last season when Nicole said like, well, I didn't know who you were. I didn't basically saying, I don't know who you were. I don't know, I don't know what I'm gonna invite you

into my house, and of course, Lars took out ads, not Lars took that in, like no one knows who you are. And then she's been, she's been but hurt over that for the past two seasons. But now she's using this piece of footage which happened after she accused Nicole of judging her. And she didn't see it during the season

when she went at her about the doctors, which is then what everyone confronts her about right now, which is like, you can say that all you want, but like you didn't see that until basically just now. Just, but I didn't know it like, like people like Tammy thinks like, and she goes, um, Nicole goes, but you did date a married match.

Just, who did I date that was married? I've never been, I was a home wrestler, not a home record honey. What? I think she's trying to wrestle some guy off of you that's trying to pound you four times tonight probably What does that even mean? I was a home wrestler. Are you a flipper? Like I don't know But like they put up all the headlines that are like

Larza pip in with Malik easily whose wife was shocked because they're still married like it's just 24 years old Mike yeah and And then and Lars goes you know you've left every guy to move up. Yeah you're the home record and Nicole goes that's not what a home record is honey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You literally only have money because you married into it and you continue fucking into it

like seriously. Who are you? And Lars is like well you just leave every guy to move up you're literally Danny Michael Jordan the sign. Anybody I'd be here. God I would you know what Larsa God bless her because she I mean what a lucky lady she does nothing she's a very passive person but everyone gossip to her despite the fact that then she airs everyone's gossip out in public, but everyone gossip to her. She never inquires about people. She didn't even know about Michael Jordan and Marcus Jordan, that just happened to her.

Everything just happens to her. She does nothing. She doesn't, she has nothing. Yeah, and of course, we got a dictionary, please, and Gerdy's like, I bet your head. I bet your head. I bet your head. I pet your head. Home record. Home record.

That's what I'm guessing. Act it out. Act it out. And so Andy goes, oh, I'm fucking exhausted. It's been Julia then actually has a moment, which was another emotional moment, where she bases like, you know what? Like, you know, like, I want to play the game at you play it, Marisol,

who do you trust at least? But I want to play it in a reverse. Who do you trust the most? And then she tells a story that basically, Nicole was the one who was in the hospital with her, who's holding her hand in her scrubs because Nicole was the anesthesiologist who was working on Martina when she had to go through

surgery for her cancer. So everyone, she basically basically like everyone stop questioning cold professionally because she's basically doing real world stuff and saving people's lives. And Larsie goes, but I didn't question that. And because like you said, slept with every doctor at the hospital. She says, I said, I heard you slept with a lot of doctors at the hospital.

And listen, I mean, basically it's like giving you a compliment. It's like that girl really can handle pricks, you know? Which basically Julia's lovely little speech had no effect on that. I know. Even my counselor monologue cannot derail this. So now Larsa is yelling, because Nicole said, you're just rephrasing things. And Larsa says, that's like you saying you're fianceing, he shouldn't bring me on the boat,

because I might head on the boat, Captain, are you crazy? I would never head on a poor person. Well, what's Anthony's beef with Larsa? I'm curious because it's just so easy to have one. And Nicole's like, oh, well, he hates the comment that you made about the kid. And he's like, oh, yeah.

And so we see this clip of Larsa saying, well, you guys had a child out of wedlock. So Andy is like, yeah, I didn't judge you, which of course means she is judging her. I don't judge you. Even though you're, you had it bastard. It's like, what the hell dude? Yeah. And Laura's like, are you dumb? That's the definition.

Are you dumb? Are you dumb? And he's like, yeah, when you said that they get out of a world lock, that's a definition. They're not married. Yeah, but that's an asshole thing to say, Lars. That's an asshole thing to say. Well, because also he is, he had a child out of wedlock.

Like he's like, you're literally criticizing me to my fucking face lady and she's still just sticking with it. Like it's a definition. And it is a definition, but still like, there's a lot of negative associations with saying that. So it's like an old definition. People don't have to be married to have kids. And it was like a completely different time

that definition was, and it was used to shame people. It was like, you don't wanna have a child out of wedlock. Ooh, how terrible. That was what that term was for. It was literally created to shame people and it's out of circulation, you know? Like Larza should be to most of these fucking young people that she's dating.

Yeah. Like Larza's relevance out of circulation. So, so then, Nichol's like, they're talking about, and he's like, is an asshole comment, and he's like, you know, I have to say, Nicole, you took housewives' readiness to a new level with that disinvitation mirror. Wait for it.

Ha, ha, ha. And then we get to see the clip of Larza, who's got so many jobs and is smarter than anybody, not even being able to read the saying. That is one of the most telling moments of the season, when she gets it, she goes, mirror, ah, ah, ah, ah, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Lars looked like she was doing a word jumble on the back of a fruity pebble's box. She looked like she was trying to figure out a puzzle and we look fortune. Mirror, fake, mirror, Mad Max.

I'd like to buy asterisks. Nicole's like, so how else are you going to do with a ridiculous accusation like that? And Mary said, oh yeah, who helped you with that? Cause I know you didn't come up on that one. You're so who are you talking to? You literally married one of the game puppets who sits up in the balcony, making fun of people so that you would have shit to say in the diary room. Uh, you know what?

Like that's really not cool. That just outed Waldorf and Sadler. Like that's not cool. So yeah, I like this. It says, oh, she said it was the makeup artist we have. That's mega. And it was like, yeah, it's like me and Grace, you know, like, oh, does she have a, does she have a p funnel also? Is she a real makeup artist like that? She's like, it's okay. You guys don't believe me because you just want to hate. That's like, that's it. You just want to hate. And Andy is like, Julia, what did you think? And Mary still just keeps going, you're not that clever.

I'm the most clever one here. And I'm not even that clever. I pretend married some gay alcoholic from a piano bar to steal his one-liners and be dazzler. And no, even I think that that's too clever. I mean, I have like the highest IQ in this group, but like I'm not clever like really so well. I thought it was the funniest with this Typical British humor. Uh, you know, she's not British, right? I don't know. Don't tell me to say that. I like that she just like took something from Beverly Hills British you Italian Also does anybody think that Mary Soul is the most clever?

What does Mary Soul say that's clever? Just saying your drunk a lot and hot, blue-gunning jewels on the Costco thermoses does not make you clever. It makes you a sad alcoholic bathed in the cheap sparkle of plastic hobby lobby diamonds girl. Shut up, Mary Soul. Will her out of here. Will her out.

What are you talking about? I'm very clever. I unchecked the word Cocktails and I took drop the tails off. And now I call it a cocky. That's clamber. I'm branding myself for my future brand. It was a large sum. It was a large sum.

Is there anything in particular you walked away with remorse for? And she's like, well, I don't know because like usually we don't use that code now because we have cell phones. So no, like regret. Do you regret anything? She's like, Oh, well, I think Nicole wants people to have this idea for it. It's not real. Okay, wait and not even understand the question. You've done well. She did the first. She did the job interview thing. Like, what are your weaknesses? I just work too hard. My regret is that like I shouldn't have told Nicole like that. I should've just said, Hey, people, you know, like people judge you, you know, people could judge you. And I should just left it with that because she really wants to have this perception of how she is. And that's not how she is. So I regret popping her bubble.

That's basically what she says. And I was like, um, my life is like pretty transparent. She's, okay, well, I should have, I guess I could have just said, I could have judged you and I didn't. And I didn't think anything by it. And if you guys live together and have a beautiful home and have a, a bastard child out of wedlock and Dan of sinned and God bless, I don't judge for that. That's, that's for God to judge. Hey, I should have said, like, you know, I watched a movie this weekend that was based on your child. It was called Glory is bastard. It's really good. Yeah. You know, I what I really should have said is, Hey Nicole, I guess are you a big fan of general hospital as in generally fucking the whole hospital? Because it seems like you are. I thought that could

have been a good bridge for us. So they go on break and Lars is back in her dressing room with Marcus and she like, oh my god, Marcus, you might like, like, like, swear to god, like, how many times do I have to like, like, say, like, I didn't mean it like that. Like, like, she has a big mouth and she looks like a Chihuahua. Like, I don't know what to do. Like, I don't, like, I don't even know. And, um, fourth rate, a friend of Zana is actually there.

And still trying to make Zana happen. And Zana is literally doing the boxing ring corner coach thing where she's literally as rubbing larsas, shoulders like you're doing great. We're going into round nine. Round nine. I think you can do a knockout here at TKO. You can do it. Also, I have to say it's so weird for Michael Jordan's son, this Marcus guy. I don't know anything about sports or this guy, obviously, except for what I'm

seeing on the show. I just find it so odd that someone who is the child of a legend still feels the need to suck up somebody else's fame. You know what I mean? Like you would think like you'd be maybe resentful or maybe if you had a lot of therapy, learned how to deal with it. But to be sucking after Lars' fame is bizarre to me. Because to me, he looks like he's sucking it up. You know, he's just kind of looking at her like in awe at this house-wise world, just watching this whole thing being filmed. You know?

It's just odd because I also feel like, I just feel like he probably has other options and just weird that Lars is the one that he settled on. You know, I just don't understand so much of it. I want to know what their love story is. I once met with him. I once had lunch with a reality TV producer and she said, you know what I say to people?

I don't say, hey, how did you meet? Because then people don't give the real story. I say, hey, what was your love story? So that's what I want to say to Larsen Marcus. What was your love story? Oh, good. And how much did it cost to subscribe to it? I was like, is this a toe fungus? But then like, I had them run tests. And it was like little babies, they were like little tiny baby fish in there. That's when I realized I left him. So then we got in a calls and she's Nicole's room and she's talking about how, you know, every man's going to stand up for their family. So you chose the wrong family, get over it. And then it comes back to Larissa talking about how they're just bored in their relationship

and I'm the one that makes them get off. I'm the one that makes them get off apparently. And Nicole saying that it's evolutionary, like it's evolutionary for men to defend their pride and their family. And then Larsa's like, if my fiance was talking about a woman that much, I'd have a problem with it. I'd be like, there's something wrong in the relationship. I was like, oh, please stop trying to raise your relevance in there.

And they're like, oh please stop trying to raise your relevance and they're in there like the what Anthony said one thing Like literally Larsa does not register in Anthony's life and don't make me stand up for Anthony So age around is like oh, well, you know, it's only natural. He's going to he's going to defend you like he didn't defend He didn't defend you then I'd be worried, you know like if he didn't defend you like you could have your foot Smash into a thousand pieces. Okay, you he didn't defend you, like you could have your foot smash into a thousand pieces. Okay, you need someone to defend you. So then we go back and Andy's doing a face time or something. And then he tells you a story. Yeah, okay. He's like, we're still shooting and I didn't have screaming at Larson of bingo card this time.

And Lisa goes, well, you screamed at me last year, Andy. And I was like, yeah, and he still hates you. Can you not tell? I mean, you had the biggest storyline of the season as far as this Lenny. Everybody was talking about this. Andy has barely given you like two minutes to talk. I know. It's true. I think that's probably next week.

Probably they've talked about it, but he's just like That's probably next week. Probably. They've talked about it, but he's just like clearly over Lisa. Yeah. It's good. We're back. Kiki, I have to ask, ever since the Bahamas, how is your vagina chakra? She's like, oh, well, it's still close,

because since I'm still single, I'm surprised you're still single. Do you date a lot? Yeah, date a lot. My problem is in Miami, a lot of Miami guys tend to be very much like Lenny, which, no offense Lisa. I know you married it for 15 years because you were stupid, but yeah,

for everyone else who has standards, yeah, they stay away from the Lenny's. So when we get to the shaped heads things, because Lisa's like, what shaped heads do they have? Ha ha. And they do Kiki's line of like, is the shape of his head? That's how I could tell. But we knew there was more to that, right? Because every time Lisa brought up Lenny, possibly cheating or something going on, Kiki made all these looks to the camera. So, um, um, there, and he's like, who saw the signs and Kurdi saying,

she saw the signs because they had an event that wasn't aired and it was Lisa's event. It was like a charity thing and Lenny refused to come into like the velvet rope section where they all were. And she's like, come on, come back. And he's like, no, no, thanks. So that tights some mile. He's like, no, no, it's okay.

She's like, well, Lenny, there's burgers. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, no, no, it's okay. So, come on back, Lenny, there's burgers, he's like, no. Uh-uh, no, I'm not doing it. Oh, wow, but you know, he's always been like that, like a little off, a little socially inept, you know, a little hateful towards me, a little like, sort of regretful about his decision to marry me, a little like, he wishes he did not be on camera with me, a little like,

God, he hates this side of me, he's always just a little bit like that, you know? But what, you say you weren't blindsided, I mean, wasn't he trying to get in shape and eat better? And she says, yeah, I mean, that was peculiar. I had been trying to get in him, get him in shape for a whole marriage. And suddenly, it's like in shape. And then we see the clip of Kiki making faces when Lisa's like, Oh, yeah, Lenny's doing so great. He's losing weight and getting a shape. I was like, how much sex were you guys having leading up to it?

Because, uh, well, it wasn't a lot. It wasn't amazing. I mean, I would aim for once a week or once every two weeks or sometimes I just do a crossword and hope that sex would be the answer to a clue. It was pretty minimal. Well, what's up with the Halloween party? I said well he lives for Halloween parties, okay? So you know, I don't but he wanted to do it and I agreed because I can't say no it's still our house

You know legally I couldn't tell him no and he's like oh really so how many people should like 600 people So you don't have to do any of that, Lisa. You don't have to purchase. You could have been in a different, you could just like, got in a hotel room for the night, you know. So he's like, wow. And so Kiki's like, oh, well, you know, I've been going to Lisa's parties for many years. And, you know, I've been invited by club promoters and, you know, third party people and stuff. And that's a model in Miami Beach.

You know, I've heard he's been a cheater for a long time and like, I know models he cheats with. And then I've also, ugh. Like shocker. Lanny, the boob god cheats, I would never have believed. A guy who has like fucking 50 Instagram models

over every weekend cheats. I would never believe it. I can't believe it. That is crazy. Get at least giving your a dirty look like how dare you be on my side of the couch and pull this shit. Yeah. So it's a to be continued and we don't even get to see the previews for next week. So we'll have to wait to see how that pans out. But that was part two. That was it.

Fun episode. Thanks Miami. We love you. We'll talk to you guys next time. We'll see you Denver Assault Lake City this week. And who's the following week, Ben? Then we have Seattle and San Francisco. The next week, we'd love you guys. Go to watchupcrapants.com for tickets. Go to Instagram to find our announcements.

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