Watch What Crappens - #201: Live from Mel's Diner with Real Housewife Lea Black

Episode Date: July 9, 2015

Lea Black of "The Real Housewives of Miami" returns to the podcast to talk "Real Housewives of New York City" and "Secrets & Wives" with Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) and Ronnie Karam (trashtalktv.com). Along the way, there are special cameos from Lea's hot interior designer friends and our various waitresses (because, oh yeah, we recorded from a corner booth in Mel's Diner). The episode is a blast, and Lea gives us all sorts of unfiltered insight from her time on "RHOM." Definitely worth listening to! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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a month. Get your free 30-day trial at nextissue.com slash crappens now and read up way up on all your interests. nextissue.com slash Crappens Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap is. super hilarious, super funny, Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com. Hey, Ronnie. Well, hello. Well, you know Herman. Herman has a side dish here. The Herman potato salad. So if you're wondering what Ronnie is saying, if you're wondering why there's a female chuckle in the background,

it's because we're doing something very special for our 201st episode. Field trip. We're on a field trip. We took a field trip to Mel's Diner in West Hollywood on the historic Sunset Strip and we're here with none other than Leah Black. Fabulous! Hi!

A real, real housewife. One of the real ones. Yeah, one of the real ones. The exception to the rule. Just kidding. You're sitting right in front of the jukebox machine, which I like. So we start singing and dancing. People can just come up and put a quarter into you.

Have you do your greatest hits? Actually, this could almost be like a superstar guest appearance episode, because not only are you here, but your two designers who appeared on Real Housewives of Miami with you happen to be at another table. Shout out to Hernan and Famio! We can see them now. They're these two very handsome guys. You're two gigantic, hot, gay guys. Yeah. They're currently not talking to each other. One is on the phone and the other has his arms crossed. Well, that's called equality. Gay marriage at work.

They're like, let's go to lunch and not speak to each other. Oh my god, we've made it! So we're sitting in the back booth. Leah, what is going on? What have you been up to lately? Well, I've been in LA for over a month, and I'll be here another over a month and just hang out with the summer, you know? And you wrote a book.

Oh, my God, I've been on my book tour. That's what I've been doing. Red Carpets and White Lies. I've been on my book tour. How is that going? You had a big thing just a few weeks ago that I unfortunately couldn't go to. I had book soup. And then an after party at Pump.

And we had all the crowds came out. We sold a lot of books and then we went to Pump and I think they sold out of liquor. That's Ronnie's fault. That's Ronnie's fault. We had a big crowd. You couldn't even get in there. I mean, both of them you couldn't get in. They were just packed. Well, they might want to move

some of those gigantic potter things that are on the bar. I was like, dude, I can't even see past this. It's like a stripper cage. It's like, what kind of lamp is this? It's this gigantic metal cage. Like, where's Barbarella? They want the fillers when they're not crowded, and when they are crowded, it looks more

crowded. I don't know. They should just be filled with styrofoam so they can just move them in and out like set pieces. It was a great restaurant though. I love it. The atmosphere is fantastic. They were nice to let us come crash their night. Yeah, that's good. It's a fellow real housewife. Oh my god and the waiters are so hot. Are they? They must hire off of Grindr there. They must just go on Grindr and like find all the shirtless hot people and call them in.

Because there is not one fudgo in that place. They are good looking. They're all in shape. They all look like they could be without their shirts. That they've all got like a six pack of abs, you know? And a face. I mean, isn't it sad when people work so hard and they're so beautiful and they're still poor? Sorry, Dunnings.

All right, stop working out. It's also sad, you know, when they have a really, really pretty face and then they let themselves go and get really, really horribly fat or ugly. And then you go, oh, well, she's the girl with the pretty face. Well, she has a great personality. Welcome to my childhood. Thanks, Leah. Oh, I have to say, I just spent a week and a half in the Northeast. I flew back last night.

And it's so funny when you spend like over seven days outside of LA and you come back like oh my god everyone here is gorgeous I know you know it's beautiful if they're body fat here they're a tourist yeah well there's a lot of cutie pies in Austin but they're so gigantic I come back here and I'm like oh my god I'm the big one again because when you get on a plane to Texas oh and I don't even mean fat I mean just big big big people but you know in la people don't eat a lot you know when i have the parties at my house you guys have been to some of them like in miami the amount of food that i put out would say for 40 people would be an appetizer they'd be going where's the steak yeah in 30 minutes to an hour here when everyone leaves i literally pack up at least half the food goes home with

whoever helped that night. Yeah. Yeah, like they just don't really eat that much. It's funny because I always feel like, I feel like I definitely eat my fair share. We do. We're like, hi, Leah. We go hug the sushi table. For a second.

I know, but seriously, they don't eat as much here. I just don't think they do. It's true. You can't. And they have the smoothies much here. I just don't think they do. It's true. You can't. And they have the smoothies. You've got to have that smoothie. You can't. Everyone acts like there's some big secret to it.

You have to starve yourself. Get a coke habit and starve yourself. It's not a secret, okay? It's not like Jesus just loves some people more. The LA diet. So, by the way, you mentioned Austin, and we should just mention just some housekeeping for the podcast. We have a live show that's going to be happening in Austin

I believe on July 24th. What, are you guys going to go there? Yeah, we're both going to be there. My family's there. Oh, okay. And his lava. Why are you going there? By the way, the designers, the hot designers are walking over. Oh, the hot designers are coming over. Oh my god. Here they come.

The hot designers are coming. Here Oh, my God. Here they come. The hot designers are coming. Here they come. Oh, my God. Look at that six-pack. Look at that fabulousness. It's true. Pull up the chair. This is real.

Crash the party. We've never seen so many biceps on this podcast ever before. We're just gossiping about everybody. We're talking about how in LA we've been shit. Is that a Louis gym bag? No, only fabulous. I will steal that right off your shoulder. Just so I can say I'm in a bad way. See, I didn't get it on. I will steal that right off your shoulder.

Just so I can say I love you. See, I didn't get any more. I took everything away. Yeah. This is perfect. You know, I lose everything. Don't leave it in the car here. They do break in the cars and steal them. They do.

Yeah, yeah. Don't leave anything. We both have stuff stolen out of our cars. They do break in the cars and steal them. That's what happens when you're hungry. I leave my watch, my wallet, my cars, my ID in my trunk, I go take a break. Oh, my God. Well, we were just saying that we're having a live podcast, live episode in Austin, Texas.

Yeehaw. Yeehaw. On July 24th. So if you're going to be in town, you should head on over to that show. Come on, Dan. We don't know where it's going to be or in what capacity. I mean, it might be on a park bench for all we know. But we're trying to find

a venue. See if they have a Flaming Saddles in Austin. That would be perfect. Like an actual saddle that's on fire. No, that's a bar in the yard called Flaming Saddles. It's my favorite bar ever. There's one here in West Hollywood now. See if they have one in Texas. That would be fantastic.

I don't think they would let a Flaming Saddles in Texas. I was like, that's mean in Texas. That's like encroaching on their territory. I know, exactly. So also, be sure to like our Facebook page, facebook.com forward slash watch what crap happens. It is so fun. Tons of people are on there commenting.

It's actually like an... It's a real community. Yeah. Very, very funny. Even Jill Zarin, fellow Real Housewives, Jill Zarin was commenting last week on defending...

She got mad. She got mad. What was she mad about? She got mad. She got mad. The testy rolls. So I saw her daughter in Nantucket, so I posted on the Facebook page, I said, I said, how funny, I saw Jill Zarin's daughter in Nantucket So I posted on the Facebook page

I said how funny I saw Jill Zarin's daughter in Nantucket You can't escape Bravo And then everyone started writing these comments They were making allusions to season one Of Real Housewives of New York When Jill sent her daughter to the fat camp So everyone was like Oh is she at fat camp

So Jill came on and was like You're all sickos You all need to get a life To which I understand she's a mom mama bear but anyway I still thought it was funny that Jill even found it. Well in LA it's called skinny camp. That's what I was going to say call it skinny camp. Oh they call it skinny camp? No they should. Maybe we should start a skinny camp. They should call it like maybe body redefinition camp. Yeah I'm telling you in LA everybody they're all in shape they're all pretty I wish I could go to back camp well who are you telling look at these guys they're gigantic muscle men

by the way he just flexed it was like very important there was like a whole lot of bicep and tricep and I'm like I'm glad I've got a I'm from a border town so So who are we going to gossip about today? Well, I forgot my gigantic thing of notes. What? All I can really talk about is Dorinda being wasted. What was that all about? Let's start at the very beginning.

Let's start at the beginning. Let's start with Real Housewives of New York City. We're about to do a selfie. An on-air selfie. Selfie. I'm down for it. He's the king of selfies. I just laugh because he always does them. Okay, this is happening. This is

the we did our selfie. One more. Come on, you didn't get in the last one, Fabio, because I moved out and didn't know. That's the smallest You know who taught me how to make a selfie? It was Paris Hilton. She's an expert at selfies. I didn't know how to a small you know make a selfie so I didn't know this but you know like you I always liked in my selfies like the picture here right do you know decide yeah yeah she taught me. She was like, there's a hundred

in a minute. I couldn't believe it. I was like, Maris, no wonder you have so many good selfies. And then she knows how to shop them up and everything. I'm like, oh my god, I learned something from the genius woman. Well, you know, she was one of the pioneers of the internet. Oh yeah. Let me tell you, she's done very well for herself. And I like her.

I do. I have not met her personally I actually once walked by her and that was the extent of our relationship but I feel like if I had asked her to teach me about selfies I feel like she would have you know what you gotta give credit to anybody that can start at 17 or 18 years old with really nothing but just themselves. I mean, let's be honest. It's not like she was singing show tunes on the internet and got discovered. And then, you know,

becoming a household name. It's amazing how a pipe layer can become a celebrity. How what? How a pipe layer can become a celebrity. Because I call that laying pipe. Oh. I just got it. I got to get with the program. I'm showing my age now

I need to stop using sexual harassment terms from the 80s Now where were we? We were talking So Real Housewives of New York City That's what we're speaking about So none of us have notes but we can rely on our brains Oh really? Which is that

Okay so the episode began The episode began They were on a trip The cliffhanger from last week was that Bethany was going to make lunch and Ramona was like, let's go to JoJo's instead. And then Bethany's like, fine, you go. I don't know. I don't care.

And then it was like, to be continued. So now the continuation of that fight is that Bethany was mad and then Ramona's like, alright, you know what? So what? We'll have lunch. We'll go to JoJo's afterwards. You know? Okay. That's okay. We want to eat your lunch, Bethany. And Bethany's like, you manic, you manic, you manic.

Okay, okay, you manic. And then there's a bunch of that back and forth. And then Bethany says she's the apologizer, and now that she's said that, it's true. She apologizes, she causes havoc, gets in a fight with everybody, then she goes and loves and kisses and apologizes, and then she she does it again I would love to see Ramona run for office would that not be the most hilarious campaign of all time she just got politics down she'd be like I'm sorry I'm sorry about that school okay but what I like about the New York show is it's to me it's like a current day Seinfeld. You know, they talk

about nothing all the time, yet it's hilariously funny. And relatable in a weird way. If you tell somebody, what was it about? It was about nothing! It was just a whole lot about nothing! Well, hopefully it'll end up the same way where they're just all in jail for being assholes. They just all talk

non-stop about nothing. But it's hilarious to watch. And I find it oddly relatable. I think I said this last week. I sort of understood Bethany's sudden frustration where she was making a salad, and she was happy, and she was sharing something. This is a good thing.

And then someone just walks in and is like, all right, we're going to go to JoJo's. She's been cooking for four hours for ten people. I'm like, I'll be berserk. And then it's like that thing where then they're like, all right, you know what, we'll stay, and we'll go to JoJo's afterwards. And it's like, at that point,

she's like, just go. You just go, and we'll all stay here. I'm not having a therapy session. I'm not having a therapy session. I'm going to go to lunch somewhere else. That's what the show's about, like one therapy session. And I understand why she wanted to go,

because at that point, it wasn't like I want you guys to stay and eat my food I want you to just leave because you're driving me nuts. So please just get out of here That would be better if she got just wet. Just go just go Just as a curious question on is a critical question Does it seems odd to you that people wake up and put on the bikini and sit in the kitchen and cook for four hours? That's my favorite way to cook I love putting on the smallest bikini and sit in the kitchen and cook for four hours. That's my favorite way to cook. It's hilarious.

I love putting on the smallest bikini as possible and then cook. I mean, even RJ would put like, Mom, I need my robe or I need my shirt. You know, it's like, it's just hilarious. I also feel like also, like, I will admit, there have been times when I've had to cook something and I'll like go into my kitchen

and if I'm cooking for like, you know, people, like I'm doing something for a potluck if I'm just like in my underwear or something I put on a shirt because I'm like I for some reason feel like something's gonna fall off me like I might shed a hair a chest hair or something now admittedly Bethany doesn't have any chest hairs that I know about but I kind of feel like I don't know it just felt like I mean she's got a cute figure and she can pull it off. And she's little and tiny, so it's fine. You know, it's not like she's like six feet tall with triple D's and all of that. So she can pull it off.

I just find it strange. I do find it a little odd. I just make sure it's not. I thought it was weirder when she used a bottle of Skinny Girl as her spatula. Skinny Girl. It's everywhere. I don't know. Rapatel.

Also, it reminds me of season one of Sheer Genius. I think it was season one. I didn't see that one. It was a show. It used to be on Bravo. So it's thematically relevant to the podcast. But this is all about Bravo. I didn't know that.

I just learned this. But it's basically, it was a competition show for hairstylists. And there was one guy who was cutting someone's hair in a tank top. And he was criticized because they're like, you you know you have your armpit out there in the open and you're in your own there in someone's face anytime I see a barber in a tank top I'm always like ah no I can't think about that's what I think about with Bethany cooking in the beginning. I think it was funny. What else went on?

So what happened was okay so then she's mad but then they kind of like out of That's what I think about with Bethany cooking in her bikini. I think it was funny. What else went on? So what happened was, okay, so then she was mad, but then they kind of like, out of nowhere, kind of resolved itself. The apologizer started in. The never-ready apologizer jumped in. The good thing about her is that she never keeps anything for later. Yeah, Bethany is like pretty quick. She's pretty quick. So then they finally have this lunch, this big salad, and Ramona is like, I just want to make a toast. I just want to say thank you all for being here. It's so important that we all have friends.

I'm going through things, and it's very hard for me. And they're like, all right, you're writing a book, aren't you? She's like, okay, yes. I would like to make a toast for all my friends. It's been a really hard year for Mario and me, because Mario's gone now. He might come back. I don't care, because I'm new, and I'm going to have a book. Let's come up with a title for all my friends. It's been a really hard year for Mario and me because Mario's gone now. He might come back. I don't care

because I'm new and I'm going to have a book. Let's come up with a title for my book. Ramona Costa. And Bethany's like, that's stupid. You should call it

How to Win Friends and Influence People. And you're like, that's already a book. Who cares? Call it the Bible. It's old. Call it Da Vinci Code.

It's Da Vinci Code. It's a working progress. A working progress. And Heather's like, well, no. It's a working progress. It's a working progress. It's a working progress. And Heather's like, well, no, you, like, you know. You gotta have an art.

No, you gotta have an art. You gotta have an art. You gotta have an art. It's still a question mark. You gotta have an art. You gotta have an art. Yeah, look at you. Everything's gone.

You've lost everything. You're alone. You're doing nothing. You're giving dumb speeches at a dinner. What's the ending? What does it end with? Stupid speech?

How does this end? How can you call it a working progress? You're still living. Aren't you still living? I was like, oh my God, all about nothing. They're talking all about nothing. I don't think they did come up with it.

Well, Heather was saying, listen, it's not a smart idea to name it after a pre-existing title. And Beth is like, so what? That's over. It's over. Who cares about that? My wall is up. My wall is up.

Don't ask me about it. Walls. Walls. Just don't call it walls. I'll sue you. Walls up. Walls up. Don't ask me about it. I'm going to throw it. Walls. Walls. Just don't throw it. Walls. I'll sue you. Just throw it. That's my wall. Walls up.

My wall's up. I just spat on the microphone. Just laughing. By the way, I have to point out that right behind you is a picture of P. Diddy on the other side of you. And it just looks like he's giving you a dirty look the whole time you talk. Because all I see is his face giving you like a dirty look. All I see is that big old diamond earring.

So anyway, so then Heather gets really annoyed that Bethany is like, it doesn't matter, you can't copyright the title, which is true, but Heather's sort of making a lot of sense. I love that all the housewives know copyright law now because they all watch the housewives. That's how any Bravo person knows. We're like, you can't copyright a title, alright? I've seen real housewives of Melbourne. Switch the beach. You cannot copyright it.

So anyway, so then... I'm fleeking out. Housewives of Melbourne. Switch the bitch. You cannot copy the idea. Yeah. So anyway, so then, I'm freaking out. So then Heather gets mad and then there's like a minor separation and Heather sits down

in the chef's lounge and is like, ugh, she's such a know-it-all. And Bethany's in the kitchen being like, she's out there calling me a know-it-all.

And then Bethany comes out and Bethany's like, what, you want to say something? You want to say something? And she's like, yeah, I think you're a know-it-all.

Well, maybe I do know-it-all. And you're like, I am a know-it-all. I know-it-all. I know-it-all you're a know-it-all. Well, maybe I do know-it-all. And you're like, I am a know-it-all. I know-it-all. I know-it-all. I just know-it-all. Come to me if you want to know. I know-it-all.

And so then Bethany, then she retreats to her lounge chairs. In the same bikini. In the same bikini. They're all just ping-ponging around the resort, the commune. So then Bethany's like, maybe I'm a know-it-all. I guess I'm a know-it-all. Then Heather walks over there and is like, so I think you're a know-it-all. You're a know-it-all. This is going on for like 10 minutes. Oh, so you know that I'm a know-it-all I guess I'm a know-it-all then Heather walks over there and is like so I think you're a know-it-all

you're a know-it-all this is going on for like 10 minutes oh so you know that I'm a know-it-all what do you know-it-all about me being a know-it-all what is this

let's find out that show is so neurotic that's the name of my book know-it-all and then Ramona's still standing out on the balcony like and then I had Avery

and then I walked across the street and it's like what the hell and then I went in the woods and I never went in the woods again. She's like, this book is about my dad being mean to me in the Berkshires. Chapter 16, I went to the Berkshires

and Heather didn't have air conditioning. It's a non-travel guide about how not to go to the Berkshires. The pain I felt. I can't believe he remembers this whole show. I mean, I didn't write anything about it. We usually sit down with 10 pages of notes. You've been here for three hours.

You're not planning on leaving, right? I mean, we sit here for like 90 minutes. Anytime you need to go, we'll take you home. Okay, so they can go home for days. Yeah. If at any time any of you guys need to leave, just leave. It's fine. We'll just keep on talking.

They'll just chip in. They'll just chip in. The hot guys are leaving. Bye. Nice meeting you guys. Good to meet you. We'll see you later. I'll see you tonight. Let's talk about those decorators that were on that Miami show. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about them.

Can we talk some trash about them? Those really hot decorators. With the big biceps. I think they're good people. Yeah, I know. Well, they're in every magazine. I mean, their arms are huge. They're in every magazine

worldwide if you want to know about them. You can just pick up a magazine. One of my friends, Brian, was on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as like a party planner or whatever

and I don't think he ever said anything but you saw him maybe two or three times and he said, Ronnie, people still come up to me in the street and they're like,

wasn't that you on the road? He said, what is wrong with people? Who are these people? And I was like Ben, it was probably Ben. Do they not have a life? I always remember hot people. So anyway so they're having this fight they're having this fight and then all of a sudden but again it kind of just blew over because Heather picked up Bethany and they ran into the ocean and pulled each other's bathing suits off and that kind of ended it. Oh and then she pulled her pants down and showed her tush. Yeah. They moaned everybody. And then everything was solved. Oh my god. Just like that. You know see that just that one little thing just came and went. If someone pulled my swimsuit down and showed my tush to the world, I would be horrified and in therapy for five years. And they just went on like,

ah, let's have a cocktail. Let's have another cocktail. It's like nothing happened. Did you just show two asses and nothing is happening here? I know. I would be very mortified. Only because I don't have a good ass. And I think I'd be afraid for America

and the world. It's hilarious how they just move past everything that's what's refreshing about that show they don't hold on to the grudges and they don't dig in and become hate and bad and talk to people they used to

but now the show's a lot more fun since they've done it it is because they've got so many people they're like I move on because normally in a housewife show that stupid little dinner fight would have lasted five seasons well they could have had a few. I think they have a lot of people. I don't know that they need a lot of people. They do have a lot.

I think Kristen is obviously on her way out. You think so? She doesn't do anything. I shouldn't say she doesn't do anything. She doesn't do enough compared to the others. I mean, she doesn't get a lot of screen time. But she's pretty. But she's pretty.

And she's smart. Pretty is kind of the thing. She doesn't bother me because she, just her facial expressions alone are sometimes worth capturing. Yeah, she looks horrified all the time.

All the time. I think she's a culture shock for her. It would be surprising if they asked her only because she's a very important blogger now and I mean,

how could Bravo cut that? How is she an important blogger? I didn't know that. She learned how to use her camera phone. She's like,

no, she started a blog. Oh, okay. That was like her story arc in the beginning. I have a blog. Have you she an important blogger? I didn't know that. No, she learned how to use her camera phone. No, she started a blog. Oh, okay. That was like her story arc in the beginning. I have a blog. Have you been on my blog? Yes, when you started it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's see your links because you know we'll forget. You should be posting your links on my blog. Yeah, but will you get in trouble? Oh, watch what happens.

Why can't I do what I want with it? We can do whatever you want. I don't mean in trouble like with the police. I mean commenters and stuff. Oh! Don't you worry about commenters being like, What the hell, lady? Oh, I'm too shy. I didn't listen to it.

I'm only helping my friends be fabulous. Done. Done. But anyway, so now back to... So then what happened after that? How do you remember all of this? So they went and they. Are you guys okay?

Yeah, we're okay. Do you guys want any food? Mel's done. I want french fries or something. I'm going to order. I'm going to order a little bit, but I'm not going to eat right now. They have sweet potato fries and regular fries and hash brown fries. No, I just get one. That's it.

Just one? Just one time. Which one was it? The one with the nanny. The nanny? Yeah, and the. And what? man and the... That's yours. Oh, mine? No!

Lisa just had a baby, by the way, two days ago. That's great. Ronnie is now ordering something. I want, I guess, a potato fry. This is live. This is live.

So now what else happened after that? I can't remember. I think basically what happened next is that they went out to a bar. They went out to that bar. Oh, that club. Right, they went to a club. No, they had the lunch. They had the lunch.

Did they get any fights at lunch? Didn't they get in a fight at lunch? Yeah. That was the next day. Oh, okay. Oh my god, I'm confused. Oh my god, I can't believe it. It's because everything bleeds right into each other.

So basically, they go to this club and they're having fun. Luanne is like wasted. She's down in the sand, nuzzling with a stray dog. Oh, that was so funny. Luanne throwing herself on the ground. When would she do that? It's microdermatology. Listen, if you're used to sleeping with dogs, what's the difference?

Class of the Countess, if you ever find yourself at a beach bar, be sure to nuzzle with the stray dogs. Darling, you never know how much money this dog has. Do not judge the dog. By its color. By its color. So they're drunk, having a fun time.

Ramona goes up to the bartender to order some shots, which is very funny because there was an extended sequence of her tasting tequila. She's like, whoa. Oh. And then she sort of like shakes her head like she actually is a dog that went over the electric, the invisible fence, you know? She's like, the fence, the fence, the fence. Her eyes like winking her eyes. Her eyes were bugging out.

Those were strong. Those were Ramona modeling eyes for sure. They were about to pop out of her face. So then in the meantime, what happened was Bethany and Bethany and Heather were talking Oh, Carol. We're talking to the single guy who owns the place. Yeah, because it was actually

Bethany's friend or Carol's friend was like, oh, when you go down there, go to this place because the guy who runs it is single. And he's good looking. Yeah, he's hot. And also, I love that Heather and Bethany, okay, you've already got two of the most neurotic people on the planet talking to you. What was that guy, what must be going through that guy's head?

I mean, because they didn't really show it. The guy was seriously... He was looking at the 20-year-old in the corner just waiting to get to him. He was like, what happened? Who hit me here? He was like... I think he was just in a daze. I think he was just excited.

Bethany's like, listen, when people come here for lunch, do they leave to go have lunch somewhere else before their food comes? No, it's rude, right? I mean, I don't care, but it's rude, right? It's rude. You know what this bar needs? It needs a wall. It needs a big wall. Walls are up.

Walls are up. Can I order through a window? Do you just have a wall and then maybe they can open it? Put the wall up. Put the wall up. I want the wall up. I want the wall up around the wall. I'm on the floor. So who was over there? First it was Carol and Bethany. Bethany. Right, okay. And they were talking.

And so then Heather was there too. And then Carol's like, do you like, what kind of apps do you like? So now what happens with, so then Bethany, so Heather went back. Heather went back. Heather went back to the table. I was like, oh. Slip and slide. And then that's when Ramona goes in. So they're like, oh yeah,

they're talking to, Heather's like, yeah, they're talking to like a hot guy or whatever. Ramona's like, oh, oh. And then Ramona gives this ridiculous like preamble where she's like,

you know, I'm always the one looking out for everyone. Okay. I'm always the one making sure everyone's having fun. And I just want to be selfish for once, okay? I'm sorry. I want to be selfish. It's just about me to know.

It's about me. Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa. I know you guys are used to me just giving myself to everybody and only talking about you. Consummate hostess. But I'm going to be about you. I'm going to be about myself for once. She grew up poor. I mean, be about myself for once she grew up poor

I mean who acts like that I get it if she's rich and has like a silver spoon but she had like a popsicle sticking about when she was born I mean I can't even believe she came out right they like grabbed one leg and just pulled it until she came out what's she self-picking for

poor guy though I felt like he was shell shot he was up against the wall he wanted to burn down his own wall he was like days whatcked. He was up against the wall. I mean, I think it was in his days, you know? He was like, days? Like, what is going on with these women? Yeah, that guy was like the last size 8 at a Ross restaurant. Oh, my God.

They're going to have me for dinner next. So Ramona goes in and totally cock-blocked. She steps in. She doesn't even, like, act like she knows. She just goes in and starts talking. She's like, oh, my, your arms are so big. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. They're just big arms and I like big arm men.

How often do you work out? Is it effortless? Let's do it. Let's do it through my tears. My man. Oh my god, that's hilarious. I love big arms. And then she's staying over there the whole night.

The whole rest of the night. Carol and Bethany go back to the table. I have a restaurant too. You know who got married? Gay people. Also ketchups. Did you know that ketchups can get married? Ketchups have been getting married in this country since before gay people were allowed.

Do you know what marrying a ketchup is? No. What's a ketchup? At the end of the day. A ketchup. A bottle of ketchup. When you work in a restaurant, at the end of the day, you have to marry the ketchups, and that means you pour all the ketchup bottles into each other.

Ew. I'm never going to ever have ketchup out of a bottle again. I'm going to request those little ones with the... You should. Ew. The little packets of... Ew, no. I'm going to have the packets.

By the way, I just... Ketchup's not marrying rights. I want to interrupt this to say that I was just tweeted at by the official Twitter of Boar's Head. Boar's Head? Why? What did you mention? I mentioned Boar's Head in a tweet, and I feel very honored that Boar's Head corporate... Boar's Head, is that located in the Berkshires? Because that place is boring, okay? I'm sorry. This one time, when I was young, I went to the woods in the Berkshires,

and I was very hungry, and I was like, Mom, can we bring some boar's head meat? She was like, no, you can't. I'm like, I'm sorry, okay. No boar's head for you, okay? I can't eat boar's head because that's what my father used to call my mother. If I eat boar's head,

I only eat it off a yellow plate, so they remind me of sunshine. So anyway, so Carol andhany come back the table and they're like pissed off and they're just like talk about how basically ramona's a cock block etc etc etc and by the way somewhere in here i don't remember when it was but heather apologized to sonia and then luan apologized to sonia right there were two different apologies to sonia or as luan i don't know but you know Sonia was Heather was like I'm really sorry

hey mama I'm really sorry about like how everything went down it's none of my business I'll never talk about it again

it's not my place oh with Sonia yeah yeah yeah and then what was funny was that oh yeah oh and then Luann

apologized because she said that she really wished her well and she was really rooting for her and all this and that. Well, they have a strange way of showing it, don't they? They're all like, oh, we care so much for you.

Now, let's go over there in the corner and talk trash about her. Exactly. And tell everybody she's a loser drunk. I love you. I care if you're a drunk. I do not care if you're a drunk, Mama. All I care is that you finish the dinner off your plate. And I just want your bones to be strong in case I have to carry you home again and drop you.

The only reason why I want you to go to AA is because I know you're the life of the party. And those meetings are so boring. And I know you bring so much fun to them. No one likes saying, hi, my name is Sonia more than you. But my yacht left, but my ship's on its way. And in the meantime, I'm on a rowboat. I just know that your favorite exercise routine is taking 12 steps at a time. That's the only reason why.

I love Sonya. I think she's fantastic to watch. I love her. And I think she's just, she does not have a mean bone in her body. No, I don't think so. She really doesn't. I've never. I think she has a few delusional ones, but I think that she's...

But she is... Everyone agrees that she just seems like... She does seem like the most fun. She doesn't even attack back or defend herself. She just lets it go. Yeah. I mean, most people...

Well, she did last week. Last week's the first time in all this time. That was hilarious because she was trying so hard to be mean and she couldn't do it. She couldn't do it. She was trying to

and she lasted for 30 seconds. She was like, listen here, bitches. Listen here. I don't, I don't, yeah, I've been after that. Okay, let's all go party. Come on, let's go. She's like, I wrote a very important memo to all of you, but it was on computer three and computer number three broke.

So I'm sorry, you can't read it. I hate all of you. I hope you die. Let's go lay some peace pipes. She was great though. Oh my God. But, um, uh. So you don't think Kristen's going to be coming back? Is that what your prediction is?. She was great, though. Oh, my God. So you don't think Kristen's coming back?

Is that what your prediction is? I don't think yet. You know, the thing is, she shows up here after six episodes. Last year, she had a pretty dominant role. She did. But this year, she just is not getting enough screen time. And she's not like... And Josh won't even come on anymore. And she's pretty hot.

Listen, if I don't have my fedora featured on this show, I will not be coming on. Well, I won't either. I don't know, but he's never on. They don't show their own life anymore. You know what I think it is, too? I think he got sick of being called an asshole on the internet. I think, though, it's hard to get a word in with those girls. Yeah.

And she's just not aggressive enough to just jump in. And she's also... She doesn't have a lot of words in them. I think she's scared of them. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh my god, she doesn't want to be attacked by them. You know, it's like a deer in the headlights. Oh, they're coming at me! No, just stay right there! I think she wants to fight, but she can't deal with somebody like Bethany, because Bethany's too strong. And she's also too smart. They all talk a lot, much like we do, and they're loud. And they're all more or less very sharp.

We're eating dinner. Just kidding. We're having dinner. That annoyed me, though, because you're right in the middle of a really juicy fight, right? Between Bethany and Sonya. But they're in the middle of a juicy lobster. Yeah, right. And she comes over and interrupts it

because she wants to have dinner. Bullshit. She wanted to be in the scene and be where the action was. And it disrupted the whole flow. I wanted to let them have it out, battle it out, and see where it went. I didn't think they needed the interruption. Now later, Ramona comes in and interrupts. Which, I didn't like that

either, but at least it made sense. Because Ramona and what's-her-name are such good friends. And also Ramona started it. which I didn't like that either but it but at least it made sense because Ramona and what's-her-name are such good friends and also Ramona started it. But it made sense. The other one just jumped in to jump in. Did people do that when you were taping Miami? Would people sometimes just jump in like interrupt just so they could get in? Oh my god, that was the most competitive what can I do to get more airtime than anything I've ever seen in my life. I was just going about my life being myself and these girls are just auditioning constantly for airtime. It's just, oh my god, can't just be authentic for five minutes here?

By the way, there are also, aren't there rumors, or did we start the rumors maybe? What? That you might be joining Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or something like that? You know, I heard that rumor. Would you if you were invited? Well, I would probably if I'm living here at the time because I'm only here half the time. But I don't think that's even a possibility because I don't think they do that crossover thing very well. And I don't think they need someone like me.

They really probably need someone that's going to stir it up a little bit more because they've kind of already got two or three civilized, logical, normal people on that show. So they probably need some people that are going to be a little more crazy than me. So it wouldn't probably make too much sense. Well, I think they're getting Denise Richards. That's the last thing I heard. Really? But I heard that's a rumor. It's not happening.

Denise Richards. But they're shooting now, aren't they? They're shooting, but I don't think that's Denise's. They're literally shooting people. I've heard some other rumors. I've heard some rumors about Cody Simpson's mom. I've heard some rumors about Taylor Armstrong. I'd like to see Taylor.

I would like to see Taylor. I made a follow-up with Taylor. I never thought Taylor should have been dropped. Me either. I thought she was sort of like batty and crazy but I enjoyed her craziness. Well, I didn't think she should be dropped because I feel like if you're willing to

put the most vulnerable, horrific time of your life out into public consumption and you're left with a child to support on your own, she really needed the support system and probably the income. And I think that for no other reason, they should have followed her story through for no other reason than that. Well, I mean, her story. OK, her story is basically she started telling everybody her husband was abusing her, which no one really knew. Well, she didn't write that book about it, too. He didn't know about it. And then he found out, killed himself, because she's basically, it's funny, you're ruining his reputation. I don't know why he killed himself.

I thought there was financial issues. No. Yes, they were getting sued, but he also found out that she was on the show talking about their abuse. I don't think that's... I don't think that has anything to do with it. And I also don't think that's enough to make someone... I think there was some real financial pressure. My husband talks trash about me all the time.

I haven't killed myself yet. Well, yeah, but if he was saying on national TV that you were abusive and ruining your reputation... I feel like there probably was a financial situation. Well, they're being sued by a million people for a con that they were conning. I think he was getting ready to get indicted and go bankrupt. That's what I think. So anyway, whatever happened, he kills himself.

But I think there was a rumor that he didn't kill himself because his partner also committed himself to suicide like a week later. There was a story going around that both the partner and him were fake suicide. Someone killed them. Because that's strange. What do you mean that they're fake suicide? Well, someone killed them and it wasn't really a suicide.

Because don't you find it strange that one week this guy kills himself and a week or two later the partner kills himself? I find that very strange. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, but who kills by hanging? I mean,

could you imagine carrying Russell up a ladder just to kill him? I mean, shoot him. This weekend, Colby Gallows, it's all about killing people. You could drug them and hang them and leave. You guys, I need to study murder better. Honestly, how am I ever going to do it? I don't know. You know, I'm not a conspiracy person. That's a good one. I forgot

that the partner killed himself, too. But I do find that very bizarre. And they owed money to Russians, right? Is that him? Well, they owed money to some people because apparently he was under investigation and I heard through some reliable sources he was under criminal investigation. And then I also know they had money problems.

And then I also know the partner also quote hung himself. That's very strange to me. That is weird. Yeah. Well then after that happened, then she starts dating the Lord Russell's lawyer who's not the three children and then he leaves her and now they're making on their mayor so that's a good I mean but now that guy was separated from his wife when they started dating Taylor's in my mind Taylor's big mistake in terms of getting back onto Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and maybe I'll be wrong, is that

she went, well, it's moving, but that she went to a VH1 show. Oh. Because when you go to VH1, then you, now your brand has lowered. Oh, really? Significantly. Usually. Oh, bravo! That's the golf standard now! I know. Now us wives, that's where the price of water has gone.

In that world, for the rest of the world, everyone else is like, that's stupid. But to, you know, Bravo. See, I always liked Heather because I always felt she was kind of a sympathetic type character. You mean Tyler? I mean Taylor. Taylor, yeah. Because I felt she was just sort of sympathetic and you wanted to root for her. And she was kind of the underdog and you kind of felt sorry for her in a way.

Like a vulnerable type of person. And so I liked her. And yet she was also kind of a virgin for her in a way. Like a vulnerable type of person. And so I liked her there. I am fine. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world.

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of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.

From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some.

As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. That woman's a monster. Starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

That woman's a monster. You think? I think she's awful. When she was telling everybody that Adrienne Malouf was her godmother. And then Adrienne's like, no. Like she asked me to be her. And then she had another scene the next year. Because at the reunion, Adrienne was like, I never asked you.

I never asked you to be the godparents of my kids. At the reunion, she's like did and starts crying so the next year Taylor's like fine I'll just invite her to lunch and ask her again so she takes her to like she takes her to like a hot dog shop or something Adrian's like what she's like would you be the godmother of my kids she's like no kid is not getting anything when I die bye I mean she said it in a nicer way but she's like this should be someone that you actually like like and that likes you and that you guys know really well stupid Taylor she's a climber and a liar

I think she's sort of loony but I love her on the show I love her on the show she's like crawling into a suitcase and sobbing come on well I love the way that she could go on one moment she could just be sobbing and on well I love the way that she could go she could on one moment she could just be sobbing and there's like such a mess and then when

she goes all Oklahoma on your ass that is just funny she gets mad it's kind of funny that she had an ongoing feud with Kim Richards I mean she was doing Lisa Rinna before Lisa Rinna was doing Lisa Rinna she was the first one to go after Kim Richards right you know the funniest thing too was on these shows, I noticed that as long as you're likable and you're not really mean, you can get away with all of this. But the minute you become really mean and nasty and vitriol and hate, the audience doesn't like you anymore and they turn on you and they tune you out.

These girls have been able, I think underneath it, they're not really bad people. I think they're just somewhat delusional and loony tunes. Which one? A lot of them. You know, just in general. They're just half wackadoodles, but not in a mean, malicious way. Absolutely. It's the mean, malicious ones, when they

become crazy, the audience turns on them. I think also, I think the audience also really likes authenticity. Right. And if it seems like someone is faking it, is doing something for TV, or seems like there's something about them that does not feel real. Or they're trying to generate storylines. Yeah, or they're trying to, yeah.

It just, the audience is very savvy. They're very smart. The audience is very smart and always knows. You know, it's funny because in Miami, these girls, like I know some, I didn't know any of them really really well but I knew enough about them. By the way I just tried to drink this through my spoon. And then when I see who they are on the show and who they are in real life, I'm like, wow!

What? What yacht? What yacht? Excuse me, what? You got that empire over there? Who knew? Well that's the thing, you know, whenever they buy a yacht, they're like, oh, that's the empire. What? What yacht? What yacht? Excuse me? What?

You got that empire over there? Who knew? Well, that's the thing. Whenever they buy those homes or they lease those homes, like last year on Beverly Hills, we saw Kim get a new house. I think she was either driving around a Jag or a Rolls or something. I was like, Kim Richards. Well, you know what they do?

They go to these car dealerships and they go, hey, you know, we'll get you on TV. Larza. That's all Larza. Who did that? Larza Pippen. Oh, you know. What about when Slade

got Gretchen that Rolls Royce? Now, I know you're friends with Slade and Gretchen, but that Rolls Royce thing. With her credit card. He's like, look what I bought you

with your credit card, baby. And she's like, that's so nice. Or maybe she got it for Slade. I forgot it was, but I was like, I don't believe. He probably still took 10% of that shit even though he bought it with him. He's like, that's so nice. Or maybe she got it for Slade. I forgot it was, but I was like, I don't believe... He probably still took 10% of that shit, even though he bought it with him.

He's like, well, I got you this car, so I'm taking 10% of the car's worth because I got this car on TV. I'm this car's agent! One of the producers in our show told me they went in this one girl's closet, because they always help you pick out what color they want you to wear for the interview. And they said, I looked in her closet and every single thing in there still had the price tag

on it. Meaning they go get the clothes and wear them on the shows and take them back. Well, you know what's so funny? One of them on blood, sweat, and heels had a big physical fight this year. And she's turning around and there, like, it ended up being police coming and everything else. But the only thing people talked about, they were like, that bitch still has a tag on her dress. Like, she turned around, there was a tag on and off of it it yeah like i can't return this now there's blood on it and sweat and a heel i've been also seeing when they cross their legs and they put tape on the bottom of the shoes i mean and all of my television twice if i let them give me a dress to wear for one hour and

giving it back and i felt so guilty when one of them I said look you've photographed it in pink and I'm not gonna wearing that obviously it's too obvious of a shot because it's like our main shot but I'll buy it in black because I actually like it because I felt so embarrassed that we were borrowing these clothes from Saks you know what you know what a lot of them do? Vicky's famous for this Vicky gets clothes, she wears them one time doesn't wash them or anything and puts them on eBay

and so the fans come on eBay and buy her clothes and if you go read the reviews on eBay they're like well this dress had a rip in the armpit and it smelled like B.O. Did they borrow them or buy them? She buys them and then sells them. No, I didn't borrow them and then sell them.

That's Ramona probably doing that. What dress? Oh my God, we're still talking about this borrowed dress. They brought that up the other night. They did, they brought that up. That was how many, four years ago? They're like a dog with a bone on that. The Countess never lets anything go. She still hates

Heather. She doesn't care about anything Heather's done. All she cares about about anything Heather's done. All she cares about is that Heather made some slight that she wasn't real royalty last year. Maybe Carol. Carol. Sorry. There's so many people on the show. Carol made that slight about her not being real royalty and made fun of her trying to get a free dress from her friend.

You know, it's funny. Well, that's how the girls in Miami were. They were so petty. If you said one thing, they turn on you like, oh oh my god their life's mission is to just tear you down every way they can that's what i think the girls that have the staying power are the ones that can let it go and laugh about it laugh at themselves well it's like you have to let it go to a certain extent you have to let go of the details but the truth is that there are still things that like resentments that carry through which is important you have to have that, like resentments that carry through,

which is important. You have to have that because that's a real thing. So Luann, if Luann ever gets a chance to take down Ramona, she always takes it because there are like six seasons worth of it. Darling, I just came to say hello to you. You know Mario's on Tinder, right? Because Luann... You know what it is? tinder right i think i can let it go if i think the person underneath it it's just coming from a good place and they're just having fun and they're just getting their digs in i won't let

it go if i think they're just rotten and evil to the core right now you're just like you're done i don't want to you which is why which is why you're probably still not friends with adriana i imagine oh i just think underneath it that a couple of the girls on our show were just mean and rotten. And they really were just in it to be famous. They just want fame at any expense. Well, one of my favorite things from your show, she had that whole fight against you. And then she decided, oh, I'm going to go talk to Leah at her house. So she goes to your house and it's like pouring rain outside

and you just were very calmly like You're mean and you're a bitch. Bye and She's like, no, I'm in the rain. I'm in the rain. You want to go out in the rain with all those hair extensions and that borrowed dress? Girl, you go for it. I'm in my mansion relaxed. But the truth of that was this whole thing she was mad about was set on a false premise because she had been lying to the audience and everybody for five years that she was married

and that she wasn't married. Now, what's the irony of saying you're not married when her housewife showed? The truth would have been better than the lie. I never understood it. None of that really bothered me too much because, you know, it's like, oh, so it was just a stupid thing, and I don't, it speaks to her character and her integrity, but it didn't certainly affect my life in any way, so fine. But then she made it up in her head, and the other girls convinced her

that I was the one that put it in the paper. Well, I didn't put it in the paper. Oh, that's right, because it was the blogger. I did not put it in the paper. It was Barbara from Texas or whatever. The truth was somebody tweeted that I never followed and never followed me, because I did my research on it afterwards. Oh, thank you. Someone tweeted it out that she was married.

I didn't even know. My friend's right now, too. So, I found it absurd how what she was trying to do is take away from the fact that she had lied. I didn't even know. So I found it absurd how what she was trying to do is take away from the fact that she lied to the audience, to Bravo, to everybody in the show

for five years pretending to be broken for so people would help her out and fix her up on dates and she was really married. She was trying to divert the attention from that to you putting it in the paper.

Well, I have a question about that. Even if I did, but I didn't. If I did, I would have said it. If I putting it in the paper. Well, I have a question about that. Even if I did, but I didn't. If I did, I would have said it. If I put it in the paper, I would have said, I feel that people have the right to know who you are. I would have taken ownership of that because I'm not a snake. I'm very upfront about stuff, but I didn't do it. But she turned that into a whole season of hate and vitriol

and tearing it down and characters as an agent. These went nuts. And that was the premise of it. Let me ask you a question about that because now that you brought it up um there wasn't that about some barbara blogger in texas and you're like i don't even know this blogger or whatever because then the next season when you were in that hotel i'm so sad for knowing this i know but you were in that seat you were getting ready for the gala or whatever, and you were in a hotel room with Taylor What's-His-Fun from American Idol. And then there was that vlogger Barbara

from Texas there. No, that wasn't her! So was that different? That's a different girl! That was Beth, who is an editor, book editor. The girl in Texas that was a Twitter person, I don't know who she is to this day. I thought they were the same thing. That woman that was in Texas person. I don't know who she is to this day. Oh, okay. There were two different people. I thought they were the same thing.

That woman that was in Texas is under a giant sweetheart or something on her handle. That's her handle. Isn't it amazing how much Twitter can mess with you? Well, the thing that always bothered me was that Adriana could have just been like, it's true, I didn't say anything

because I felt bad or whatever. Whatever the reason was, right. But instead she did go on the offensive and then she was saying like, well, we were, it's true, I didn't say anything because I felt bad. But instead she did go on the offensive and then she was saying, well, we were married, but I didn't feel like we were married because we didn't do it in a church. We're marrying my heart and all these excuses. I felt like I was so busted. It was just funny that I thought I was going to marry you.

She's like Donald Trump. She just doubled down. You get caught in a lie, and instead of just saying, hey, you know what, I screwed up, and for whatever reason I didn't tell you, and it's my personal life and my business, she digs deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. And then they dig a hole so deep that the only way to get out of it is to make everybody else look bad and wrong. Like Donald Trump now.

Oh, these Mexicans are just horrible. Oh, they're worse than that. How did I say that? I meant to say more than that! You can't say enough about them. Instead of just saying, you know, I shouldn't have put it that way. Yeah. He can't do it. He'd be like, well, you'd understand what I meant if you knew English properly. Which you obviously don't.

Well, Bethany will probably vote for him because he wants to put a wall up. Wall up! He's like, I'm keeping out the Mexicans and any emotions from touching Bethany. Alright, that's what this country stands for. By the way, didn't Anna, didn't Anna He's like, I'm keeping out the Mexicans and any emotions from touching Bethany. All right. That's what this country stands for. By the way, didn't Anna Quinn, I forgot. Oh, yeah. Didn't she get arrested?

Queen Solstice. Didn't she get arrested recently? Yes. Well, she was stalking this guy. Yes, that's right. And she drove, apparently. Wait, what? Remember that?

Who was she stalking? Some ex-boyfriend. In the Key West, right? She drove out to Key West. She drove an hour there, and then she admitted on tape that she had been drinking. We talked about this a lot. Oh, they told her not to drive and took her license? Yeah. She drove an hour there and then she admitted on tape that she had been drinking. We talked about this a lot. Oh, they told her not to drive and took her license.

I guess she forgot to put that in her portfolio that she put in the reunion. She left that house she was in because it was full of cockroaches. So the New Times put her head shot, her mug shot with cockroaches beside her in the paper. But see, she turned on me for no reason. I didn't know this girl. That was her downfall because everyone liked her. Everyone turned against her for that. But I don't even know the girl's last name.

I still couldn't spell it. I'd never been to her house and I never had her cell phone. But what happened, when I outed Marisol's girls for taking those wristbands from my charity and giving them to their friends, Marisol turned. And she used Anna as the henchman. And Anna will tell you, Marisol was the one behind that. Marisol was also the one behind turning Adriana. So she's like always over there being sweet and innocent.

But underneath it, she's the one that's turning everybody. Well, she's probably got a really dirty look on her face. You just can't tell anymore. But underneath it, she's really vindictive, you see. So you can have vindictive people on a show because you've got to be willing to just keep moving and keep moving your story forward. And you can't move it forward when someone's just digging in,

digging in, digging in, digging in. Have you been able to maintain a friendship or relationship with Mama Elsa since everything's gone so sour? I was friends with her on the phone only. I never knew her before the show. I've only filmed with her a few times, and I've talked to her on the phone a few times. That was the extent of my relationship.

I thought you guys had a friendship outside. No, what happened when she was filming on the show, Marisol would say, I'm not having my mom there, and if you girls want her there, you babysit her. And so Elsa never wanted to go to anything. And the producers would always say, no, come on, we need to get her there. So I would call her up and convince her to come. Thank you. And I would say, I promise you if you're there I'll hang out with you I

promise you I'll be there if you come I'll hang out with you they're not I promise you're just gonna use me for the limo to get over there and then they're not gonna talk to me I said I promise you if you come I'll hang out with you so that's why she was always like yeah that's why Lisa thought I snubbed her because when we went in that one time and she walked in I ran straight to her and grabbed her and hugged her because I wanted her to know I wouldn't stick to you like I said I would. And Lisa said I snubbed her. I didn't snub Lisa. I said hello and kissed Lisa and went over to Elsa because I knew she was feeling like she was going to be by herself again. So then Marisol twisted that whole thing and I didn't want her mom to film.

Oh, wait, Leah. I have an iPad right here. This is my father. And he's like, how could you be like this, Leah? How could you do this to me? I wasn't, I didn't want her to film. I felt like if she was going to film, someone should be with her. And I was right.

She fainted twice, you know, on the set. So I was right about that. They should have been with her. But Marisol turned that whole thing into, well, she didn't have a storyline. So she had claimed to her mom the first year for being funny and the second year for crying every scene. If she cried one more scene, I just couldn't take it. I've always maintained that the only reason why Marisol was even brought back for season two or three was because of her mom.

Because she was a friend the last season, but then she didn't have a storyline, so what she had to do to stay on the show was get Adriana to turn on me so the two of them could take me down and she could be Adriana's bridesmaid in that fake wedding they had. So, you know, that was her, she wouldn't have been on the show otherwise. So that was the desperation that they went to. I had killed off the golden goose. It made the show so fucking hateful, I didn't want to watch it. It's a shame. It just wasn't fun when it got that mean.

Like, it's fun to see people fight and stuff. That is part of the fun. But when they're just making it up, that's Brandi Glanville's problem. Like, if she ever had a real beef, it would have been fine. But she never had a real beef with anybody. Plus, also, I mean, it seemed like the beef...

I thought the fight about, like, the fact that Adrienne was secretly married, I thought that was an interesting thing. But it felt like it didn't really get beyond that. And so that's why season three kind of fell flat because there was no... It was almost like they were working themselves to be mad just so there would be a story. They didn't have a real storyline.

See, the ones that had a lot going on, Joanne always had a lot going on, I always had a lot going on, and Lisa had a personality enough to carry it, even if she didn't have a lot going on. Yeah. The others didn't have anything going on. Right. So they had to make stuff up

and be something they weren't. Right. And tear somebody down. Right. Their whole wedding formula was to tear somebody down. So the first year, they tried to get Anna to do it.

That didn't work. The next year, they tried to get Adriana to do it it and they killed off the show doing it. Yeah. Well luckily season two is one of the best Real Housewives seasons of all time if you ask me. So at least you had that. It was a good one. Yeah, at least you had that. But let's get back to New York. Oh my god, okay, here we go. Okay. Taking a detour. We have French fries with ranch now. Bagels and French fries. I wouldn't ever eat these if you didn't me neither I think I have so much caffeine I have to get something

I know so what happened it's a day it's the morning after the morning after you guys these women

were so mad at Ramona for flirting with the guy who cares why were they so mad even Carol was like well first of all Kristen

Ramona comes down in this weird like macrame thing that was from the Phaedra Parks collection. And she's walking around in this thing. She did.

This really slutty knit thing. Oh, the macrame. Yeah. And then... Look, someone went fishing in the out-of-body by Pilate. And Ramona's like, I have to wake up. I'm still not awake yet. I look like I'm awake, but I'm not awake.

And then Kristen just turns and is like, you were really rude last night. I'm like, ugh. Here's the thing with Kristen. I like Kristen. I think that she actually is bright. And I really liked her last season, but this season, I don't think I'm gonna be able to do it. I think I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm

gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm not awake. And then Kristen just turns and is like, you were really rude last night. I'm like, uh, here's the thing with Kristen. I like Kristen. I think that she actually is bright, and I really liked her last season, but this season she just seems to be coming off as like a brat. Like a little sort of like a little spoiled, a little entitled, a little bratty. I think she was feeling left out. I think so too. I think she was feeling left out and she didn't know how to get in the attention and get in the fray. So she just didn't know how to put it into context, you know? And I think that these are not the sort of people that she probably hangs out with normally. Right.

I mean. Does anybody hang out with these people normally? No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Actually, I love Sonia and Ramona. Yeah. And Carol. I love Carol.

I love Carol. As friends, as personal friends. Right. Well, this is the first time Carol's ever really been mad about anything. No, no, excuse me, Bookgate. Don't forget about Bookgate. Oh, yeah, Bookgate. Oh, that's right. Yeah, but they had to push her really hard, because even at the beginning of Bookgate,

she's like, so, no, what's a ghostwriter? No, the only ghost that I know is a Kennedy, or whatever. Good! It's classic Ronny-ism. Because she used to bring it up so subtly. She'd be like, you know, sometimes I feel bad about things. I look up at the sky and there's a plane.

I'm like, okay, we know what you're talking about, girl. But anyway, she never really gets mad about anything. But then, of course, it comes to a penis and she's like, that was rude. So what happened was that basically they changed locations. Bethany flew off. They went to the Gansport of Turks and Caicos. Sonia and Ruana went off to the beach because they just decided to go off to the beach. Then they all have lunch.

And that's when Carol, when Ruana comes back, they had made fun of Luann. And that's when Carol starts sort of like being snippy at Ruana. And was like, you were rude. You were rude and like insensitive last night. And that's it Carol starts sort of like being snippy at Ramona and was like you're rude you were rude and like insensitive last night and that's it just own it and and we're having lunch down on the beach we're having sit down silver service lunch in our formal bikinis and then Ramona's response was, well,

you know, I guess I was, but you know, it's, I mean, I don't know why you're mad. You're fucking

a 28-year-old. Oh, I know. She's mad and I can believe she's I understand you're mad.

You're banging a 28-year-old. Okay. She's like, bleh, bleh. And then Carol got really mad.

Next time you talk about my boyfriend, I don't want you calling him 28. He's not just 28. It's a rude label. He's a honey farmer in Nicaragua. Next time, have some respect.

And they all start calling Ramona rude. And then I think... And then Ramona was like, well, I'm sorry, okay? It's just in my narrative. 25 years. And then she did that weird, that epileptic thing where she went like this with her face. And she's like, oh! Like, she was trying to squeeze out a tear. And someone was like, and Carol was like, that was her crocodile tears.

Then Ramona immediately snapped out of it. Yeah, she just like, totally stopped. She's like, whatever! That was so hilarious. Those girls are really hilarious. You got a box so I can take this one from Marya? Put this French fries in the mail from Marya just in case he's got fighting. Not that I care for this. He was like my arm. He was a part of my life. I feel like I lost my arm. You know, oh my God. You know when you can't find the lipstick at the bottom of your joint purse? That's what it feels like not having Marriott. I keep looking, looking, reaching around, reaching around. Nothing. All I get

is gum wrappers. What about Heather? I mean, she's an unusual around, reaching around. All I get is gum wrappers. What about Heather? I mean, she's an unusual bird. She is. She seems to antagonize everybody at some point. She does it in that passive-aggressive mom way. She's very passive-aggressive. How does she, what do you make of that? I don't know.

I feel like in one way, I think Heather is very shrewd. I feel like she's very smart. I feel like she's... Girl knows how to steal a good idea, that's for sure. What do you mean? I also feel like she... I've invented trash bags. These are going to be amazing.

I feel like she can read a room. She can describe what's going on very well. She understands people's motivations. She understands things. And yet, she can't seem to help herself. Because she... What do you mean help herself from what? I think she, from taking things personally.

You know, a lot of times she gets... She sometimes will just go crazy. Like last week when there was that whole situation when Dorinda was like, are you going to wait for me? Are you going to wait for me? And Heather's like, whatever, Mama. You've got to cool down, Mama. She just suddenly gets very angry very quickly out of nowhere and then in the independent um interviews but do you think she gets angry or you think she just gets like annoyed like she feels like that like it's like she's dealing with a bunch of kids maybe or something

i think she was one of those ladies that like talks to the waiter like here's how I want my grilled cheese okay I know you know what you're doing please don't think I'm suggesting

that you don't oh my god she sounds like me you know that's how she's on and she's like I think you're great at what you do

okay just do it differently this time but she can but she seems to be as smart as she is and is adept of reading people she oftentimes

will get really angry so we can just fast forward now to this this dinner party remember like from one day I think this well, you can take any one of these scenes and insert them anywhere in the storyline and it wouldn't be out of order. It wouldn't make any difference whatsoever.

It's like Seinfeld. I'm telling you. And he sees him. Yeah, and you can just take this one and plunk it in four days ago. And then Aviva showed up

and then she wanted a banner and then they got drunk and Dorinda got mad and Dorinda yelled at Aviva. And there was that episode Sonia stole something from Build-A-Bear. Like, what was it?

That she stole something from the cupcake shop to use as an anal dildo. I was like, this show. Oh, I missed that. This show needs to stop it. She's like, look, it's round like an Asian dildo. It's like, but it's worse. I missed that one.

Okay, so now we're at dinner. We're at dinner. Okay. And they're having dinner, and they're all drunk. I think they're already drunk. Yeah, this is at the restaurant dinner. Yeah, this is the restaurant dinner. God, there's so many dinners. I'm so sick. All they do is get drunk and they're all drunk. Now this is at the restaurant dinner. Yeah, this is the restaurant dinner. God, there's so many dinners.

I'm sick. All they do is get drunk and go to the beach. And so at one point, they're talking about cursing. Why are they talking about cursing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who wants someone to bring it up? Oh, wait. We have to start it right because this started with Luann is drunk.

Which I love because you don't get to see her wasted much. And Luann's like, shit, girls. I mean, holy shit. She says something and I was like, whoa. And she's sitting next to Dorinda and is like, yeah, shit, right? Shit.

They're like saying, whatever, they're saying shit. And then, who? That's all I wanted to say. I just had to say that Luann started it with shit. Well so then it went to someone complaining about the word fuck. Oh because someone said ah fuck it. Heather was like oh fuck it. And she's like, who says fuck, do you talk like that around your daughter? Oh that was Dorinda who started that right? Yeah she's like, do you talk like that around your daughter?

Something like that and then Heather, they start getting into a conversation about like, you know, curse or whatever. And Luanne's like, well, I would never curse. Luanne's example is like, is that what you want? Do you want to raise your daughters with a mouth like that and then send them off to Europe to see their father? I think that's like the natural arc for all children. I don't want to use the word, but I just want to do a lot of it. And Dorinda's like, yeah, who does that?

Nobody says that word. What you want your daughter to grow up saying? And she's like, listen, my mother said the F word growing up. Are you saying my mother's a bad mother? Don't say my mother's a bad mother just for using the F word. She's like, fuck your mother.

Heather took it to this place. Did your mother just walk in and say, hey, fucking honey, I'm fucking home? No. Who does that? Like, completely flunker. Heather took it to a very personal place hey fucking honey I'm fucking home no who does that like completely bonkers well Heather took it to Heather took it to

a very personal place because Heather was like alright I'm stopping this right now because my mother said the F word and I would never call my mother

a bad mother like no one ever said you were a bad mother whether your mother was a bad mother and then Dorinda well who knows what Dorinda was saying

half of it was bleeped out I didn't understand that conversation well Heather started well then Heather said well you know your daughter says the F bomb a lot and then Dorinda was saying half of it was bleeped out. I didn't understand that conversation at all. Well, Heather started, well, then Heather said, well, you know, your daughter says the F-bomb a lot. And then Dorinda's like, back it the fuck up. Oh, don't bring up her daughter.

You know not to do that with Dorinda. You know, Dorinda is like, She didn't say what she wanted me to. She was drunk. Oh, my God. Dorinda should work on the tarmac of JFK because all she says is, back it the fuck up. That's all she does.

Back it up, man. But you know, I think she's a refreshing addition to the show. I think she's great. I think I love her. For some reason, I like her

because I prefer a woman of substance and style and life experience over an empty G-string any day on these shows. And they're so inclined to go for that

empty G-string, bimbo, that bring nothing but I guess they want to fit the demographic for the sponsors or something. But those girls don't have enough life experience to be interested. And that's why they're the ones who are always bringing the fake storylines that don't really resonate as well. However, I do find it humorous when these other ones talk about the 30-year-old. Well, I just, the 30-year-old. I don't have to know about the 30 year old 30 year old 30 year old I think I mean how many times has David run away from you? You don't know, Miss 30 year old. That's the point.

So back to... So anyway, so then Dorinda is just like out of her mind and she's up and she's yelling and she's slurring and Lily's drunk. The stuff Dorinda was saying was cuckoo crazy. She's talking! Don't you talk about my daughter, Mr. Jackson.

You are no workin' little mother. Have you ever vacuumed the dining room with a small room filter? It's work! My daughter goes to London, she doesn't say fuck. She goes to Morocco, she doesn't say fuck. She's meeting the King of Siam! She doesn't say fuck to anybody. I don't know you, fuck. You're a stupid mother.

Like, oh my god, Dorinda. I should know better not to take a sip of iced coffee while Ron is doing a rant. Because I almost spat up all the time. I love Dorinda when she went on a drunk rant. I think she's hilarious. Well, there's some Dorinda stuff to talk about. Because Dorinda, people are turning on Dorinda the past couple of weeks. Because she, everyone turns on the first season. Well, because the first season season everyone's so nice and it's not until later when they get bitchy like we call it the bitch flower

like you gotta wait for your bitch flower to bloom but hers is coming early because she drinks and so when she gets drunk today you know normally she's like i don't want to start a fight and then she's drunk and she's like i'll cut off your balls back the fuck up she's got gangsta oh that was heather she didn't think it was funny and then she goes well you think that's funny now oh yeah i think that's funny you're calling me a gangster because i dress like carbella soprano look she didn't know what was happening oh my god those women are hilarious well that's the thing,

so here's where Heather can't get over herself, because at that moment she's clearly dealing with someone who's wasted,

and she should know just to shut it down, and just like, whatever. Shut it down! She said Heather just antagonizes her,

because Heather is so, she can't get over it. Yeah, yeah. And then she's like, you think your daughter is going to be proud of you? She's like, oh yeah,

but your mom's real proud of you right now. Reminds me, when I said I can't deal with stupid, it's like reminds me, when I say I can't deal with stupid, it's like with her, when I say I can't deal with stupid, it's like I just don't deal with it. With her, it's like when it gets stupid, she just gets all in a tizzy.

Her panties get all in a knot. She doesn't realize you are immersed in stupid. This is a fistful of stupid conversations. Have we talked about world affairs or saving the planet or curing cancer on any of these shows? It's all a stupor. Oh, my God. I'm afraid to hear it. We should have a meet the press with some of those.

I think when Heather doesn't feel like her voice is being heard, she goes nuts. And I understand that. I think that's also why she's sort of a compelling character. She feels like she can't get her point across. And you can't with those women because they all are talking at the same time at you. No one's really listening. You know, I just think they're hilarious, though. They're fun to watch because they don't take themselves that seriously.

Speaking of global minds and elevated conversations, why don't we go on to Secrets and Wives? Oh, my God. Are you able to say? global minds and elevated conversations why don't we go on to secrets and wives watch an episode I can say a few minutes because I only watched one and a half of those episodes and I find it would be difficult for me to continue to watch it to be honest with you it's yeah I'm trying to get into maybe I haven't watched I'm trying to get into it. Maybe I haven't watched it long enough. I love it. I just haven't watched enough of it. I've only watched maybe one and a half or two episodes. So not a lot happens on the shows. Nothing happens.

Last night, what happened for like 10 minutes? The big controversy this week was that someone's table broke. Yeah, well, the other one is the girl's husband that's rude. I still find him interesting to watch. It's hilarious. Because he's like the most exciting thing on the show. This is the only show on TV right now where there could be a To Be Continued based on the fact that someone stuck his thumb up someone else's ass

as they were coming out of the bouncy castle. In a bouncy house. Hey guys, I'm Molly. I'm going to be taking over your table. Molly! What's up? Y'all need anything? I like the pigtails. Those are cute. I'm going to order something to go.

Put it on my check. I'm going to order fried chicken with mashed potatoes. And this is all for Freda. And a hamburger with lettuce, Where are you? I'm starving. This is all for Freda. And a hamburger with lettuce, man. Let me get something else. Of course. Is she texting me right now? Where are you? I'm starving.

All right, the fried chicken dinner. You want mashed potatoes with fries? Oh, yeah. She'll like that. And then she'll have the hamburger with the fries. And she'll have that. How do you want it cooked? Well done.

Freda. Lettuce, tomato. She's going to eat all this? Yeah, lettuce, tomato, man. She looks like your size. Oh, yeah, mayonnaise. That's what she wants. No, I'm not. Do you watch any Bravo this? Yeah, lettuce, tomatoes, manna, mayonnaise. She looks like your size. Oh yeah, mayonnaise. That's what she wants. No onion. Do you watch any Bravo shows? Yeah.

Which ones are your favorites? I like all of them. I love that channel. I go to Housewives. Are you watching anything these days? Are you watching Real Housewives of New York or Secrets and Wives or anything like that? I haven't seen Secrets and Wives yet. So good.

I started watching the Million Dollar Listing. San Francisco? Yes. Did you see that last night? That was good. Yes, I like that show. Yeah. It makes me want to buy a house.

I know. I'm going to buy a house. I'm going to buy a house. I'm going to buy a house. I'm going to buy a house. I started watching the Million Dollar Listing. San Francisco? Yes. Did you see that last night? Yes. That was good. I like that show. It makes me want to buy a house. I know.

Right? Do it. I'll take care of it while you're gone. I haven't got it bad, but I look around and I'm like, wow. I'm not living the dream yet. I still prize with that. Of course you are. Look, he's looking away from you right now.

This is the dream. Right? I tell you, I love LA. You don't want anything? I'm going to order in a little bit, but right now I'm scared. Can I take that to go? Thank you. I'd love a tall glass of cancer. So that show...

What is the premise of the show? The premise is basically like the Real Housewives. The quote-unquote premise is that there are all these women who grew up together in Long Island. Right. And they're all leading their lives, and they are sort of like, you know. They've all kind of dated the same people and hung out with the same people. And they sort of fight, but at the end.

But what's the difference between this and a Housewives show, really? I think they just. Money and bad jobs. Well, the Housewives can go to hairdress what's the difference between this and a housewife show, really? Nothing. I think they just... Money. Money and bad jobs. Girl, the housewives can go to hairdressers. This is more of a class. Do you want this on a separate check? No, I'll pay for everything. No, no, no. I'll pay for what we've ordered so far. Oh. Well, they have money, because a lot of them, they... Well, so a lot of these women, they've married wealthy. So that's...

So there's one woman who is married to a plastic surgeon. There's one who's married to a Now that one seems to be very rigid. Oh, she is. She needs to have a drink. She needs to have a... My friend did Barry's Boot Camp

this past weekend. I fell on the shoulder for how classy I just was by not saying it. He said that she was, she was working out right in front of him at Barry's Boot Camp and that she was

very bony and I think he, I think he said rigid, I'm not sure. I'm sorry if I'm misquoting you. But she's likable and she's,

she's like Lilith from Cheers. And her man, she has good manners and, you know, she seems to be like, you know, like a nice person. I mean,

she just needs to loosen up. She is. The Housewives shows, even if they're not all like this, I mean, you know, like a nice person. I mean, she just needs to loosen up a little bit. She is. The Housewives shows, even if they're not all like this, I mean, of course, it's like a lot of women, like, banging rich guys or whatever for their money, okay? But this one, they don't try and pretend that they're these strong, independent women. At least on the real Housewives, they're like, sure, I married a rich guy, but I'm into ugly guys.

I didn't marry him for his money. I just like guys that are 50 years older than me and hideous looking on this show they're like what's your new job and they're like a penis you know like they're just little like they're obsessed with men that's all they'll do is marry a rich guy they've all been married I mean I can't really say I haven't watched that much of it I The idea of that, because they're not independent women. They should call America for money. I mean, I can't really say I haven't watched that much of it. I just got the jest of the personalities. There's the one woman who just, you know when someone runs around and says they're classy? They're probably not.

And then you've got the rigid one. And then you've got the one that her eyes are just rolling back in her head because she pretends she can't believe any of this You know, there's probably Mucked it up a few times And then you got the guy that when he's like a nice guy and he makes fun of himself and he can apologize and all That but boy is he got a side She met him Yeah, I guess. I like rehabilitating people.

Now he sticks thumbs up for her chances. I don't know if he's rehabilitated. But no, she bent over. He said he was tying his shoestring, which makes sense, and that she bent over and it just sort of kind of

landed in the wrong place. That makes sense to me. Well, she made it sound like he was trying to pull a baby out of her womb. They make them everything and everything on these shows. I know.

It's like any little thing that's on them is so rude. But to be fair, the thumb thing, okay, maybe this guy had some strange talk or maybe thing. That's icky. He sticks a thumb up her ass. But he can do the boob thing too. Yeah, that's the thing. I remember that last week too and I got in trouble. Amy called someone a C-word or something last week.

It would be one thing if she was like, listen, you stuck your thumb up my ass. I'm paralyzed. You stuck your thumb up my ass in a bouncy house. And if he said, oh, you're being crazy. It was an accident. I saw a fly. I was trying to swat it out. But then his response then to touch her boob is like, dude, you're really

losing all your credibility on this issue. Well, they've known each other. The first time he got in trouble, they were at this party, and they said, oh, you guys have known each other. The first time he got in trouble, they were at this party, and they said, oh, you guys have known each other since high school? And he's like, yeah, we knew each other. And they said, well, what was Liza like in high school?

And he's like, a slut, just like the rest of them. And she's like, I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I can't believe you would say that to me on my date. I'm paralyzed. You know, the thing is, that show moves very slow. It does. Have you noticed it moves a lot? It does, but I enjoy it I'm so embarrassed! I'm so embarrassed! accents are like very sort of like remind me of home but i think it's also it's funny to hear the way they talk just their conversations the patterns like the phrases that they say the accents are so hilarious i mean you know uh when andy when liza was giving i was talking to her ex-fiance about the ring situation and then he's like oh look out he's about to get lized and I just start laughing I'm dying

the same ring to the same woman did your ring have baguettes on it first of all any woman that would give back a ring without taking the stone out first is insane so if your ring became a hand me down second hand rose to some other woman shame on you for not taking the stone out

to the other woman do you not have pliers in the North Shore? You are assuming that there was a it was probably like an actual pebble in there so I don't think she actually wanted to take it. It's like a seashell from the beach. It's like I glued some baguettes to a seashell.

I think that she would have taken the stone out except it was probably a push pop and it already melted off of her hands. Arthur, did you give me the same ring that you gave Arthur? But you know that the one Oh no, that wasn't Arthur. What was that guy's name? Mark. He's so inappropriate but he's funny.

He's funny but I didn't know he was an ex-con. What was he in jail for? She married him She met him like a month or a week. I don't remember what I read but I read an interview with her. She had just met him. They went on one date and he's like Listen here babe, I'm going to prison. She's like I read an interview with her. She had just met him. They went on one date, and he's like, Listen here, babe, I'm going to prison. She's like, I'll wait for you.

So she waited, and they weren't married, so they couldn't have conjugal visits. This is all in an interview, by the way, that she did on purpose. She's like, well, I waited for him, and then the second he got out of jail, we pulled into a McDonald's, and I blew him. I'm like, this is the most romantic thing I've ever heard. That's why that show is amazing. By the way,

you know what I loved? You know what I loved about that? Oh my gosh. Was that the... The neighbors must be horrified watching this. They're like taking their ears and putting locks on the door.

They're locking the door. What did you do? Everyone did it. The banks did it and the bank's in trouble. No. The banks get blowjobbed So what does he do now?

He has a solar installation company. Okay. Which doesn't sound like a front at all. He's like, solar. Everybody needs their windows darkened. Am I right? Now does she work the girl? What does she do?

Oh, she works us. She's the Leah Black. She's the Leah Black in a way of this show. Because she's the one like, you know why you're sad? You don't have a job. It's actually a little more Vicki Gunvalson. It's very Vicki Gunvalson. But you know, what I do like

about Susan is that she threw this birthday party for her son. Oh, I saw that. You know what's true? We spoil our children. We give them birthday parties. We always joke about the fact that these women always act as if things at the North Shore are so unique. They're like, in the North Shore, our kids go away for the summer.

I'm like, yeah, that happens in the rest of America. But what I liked is that actually the birthday party was like a real kids party, you know? It was like the bouncy castle. And I remember when RJ had a birthday party and they were, what,

they had like, they were shooting guns. They had like laser tag. They just wanted to shoot guns. It was like something else. It was like Star Wars or something. Well, they did the... The next time he wanted a black tie

sit down with an orchestra. But then it wasn't five minutes until he had given them swords and started hitting the styrofoam heads with the swords with the orchestra playing in the background while it's raining in my house.

See, I like that because in both cases, those are like real kids parties. Because I hate when there's a birthday party and it's just the most... Oh, it's all for show. It's the most like... Oh, I hate that. It's a mother's party to show off to their friends and they pretend it's for their kids. My favorite was when you were like, Hey everybody, let's gather around the piano and sing happy birthday to RJ.

And he's like, oh God. And then it was like you and Adriana who wants to murder herself and who else was there it was like I remember that was so funny and you're like happy birthday RJ asked for an orchestra on something really awkward. Let's do it. So we did. Oh, my God. That was so funny. I like that with Susan. But this one, she's like, we spoil our kids in the North Shore. This is going to be huge. And it's a bouncy house.

And it's like a bouncy house. People are like peeing on trees. She's like, look, it's a donkey. Meanwhile, by the way, her husband is such an oaf. She's like, hey, Jonathan, there's a wasp nest out there. I'll get it back. He goes, oh, I got stung two times. Oh, my God. I was like, yeah, that's because there's a wasp nest out there. I'll go to the back. He goes, oh, I got stung two times. Oh, my God.

I was like, yeah, that's because it's a wasp's nest. It's not like it was like a pine cone. It was a wasp that was flying. It wasn't like a pine cone that had to kick out of the world. First of all, if you have a wasp nest and it's on the ground, it's not like up on a tree. It's on the ground. So why are you stirring it up? Why don't you cover it up so the kids don't get bitten?

But instead, you're stirring it up. I'm not covering it up. I don't want them to feel like they're in prison. I wouldn't do that to anybody. They weren't trying to steal. He's like, I just want to stick my thumb up its ass. But then you're stirring up the wasps with all these kids. They're always like, this is really, honestly this stuff you can't make that.

You know what those wasps need? They all need to get a job, okay? That's what they need. Those wasps had a job. Now their thing's on the ground. Kill them. They're worthless now. They're not working. Those wasps should be going to birthday parties. They should be out working in the fashion industry.

I just want to know how the New York house was would have fit into those parts. Oh, my God. Luann would be beside herself. She would not be able to do that. Sonia would be over there talking to the good-looking guy. She'd be like hitting on the five-year-old. Sonia would just think that she's in Saint-Tropez. She's like, God, these French accents are hilarious. She's like, I'm at the premiere and he's five today. How's it going? Do you have all your springs? Luanne's like, I came

here, I heard that there'd be wasps here, so I've arrived. No, I won't have a hot dog. I heard that there'd be wasps here, so I've arrived. No, I won't have a hot dog. I want to be able to go, what nail, is that pop of color nail color that you have on with the glitter in it? And the cross, is that pop of color? I'm not eating a hot dog. It's not dinner. When you told me there'd be royals here, I did not think it was from a bouncy castle. I'm leaving.

The only crown I see here is royal. I refuse. Oh my God. You're all like, how old is your chef? The only crown I see here is Royale. I refuse. Oh my god. Carol would go, how old is your chef? Make these hot dogs. Don't kill the bees. Ramona pops the castle. You know what? I'm sorry. But you know what? I can't do the bouncy castle. When I was a child, my father always put me in the bouncy castle.

And Geraldine Carson Smith would come, and we would bounce so much, I'd break my nose, I'm sorry, I have to deflate it. I have to deflate it. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't,

I can't deflate it. I can't deflate it. You know what, Mario once inflated my dream bouncy castle, and now I can't go into many more because it reminds me too much.

I like when Ramona had that big seashell, and she's like, I don't even want to tell you what this looks like. She's like, it reminds me of a vagina, of a vagina a vagina get it because it looks like a vagina okay okay i haven't seen something this out of shape since savory came out of me and trust me i was trying to talk on the phone to that too oh my god you guys are so funny i'm like what what else happened on secrets and

ones well corey is like hey you want to come play tennis and so they go play tennis and gail's like it was so stupid. It's like, why are we watching this show? And then Cory's standing over there making comments like, oh, yeah. Yeah, you can hit that ball. Yeah, thank you. I have to say, I am so sick of these. I will get food.

You guys don't really want to leave. I'm going to leave in a couple minutes. I'm so sick of all these Bravo shows where they play tennis because I've yet to see one decent-looking tennis game. Every single time, you always see the balls going off over the edge. They all play tennis. They all have a song, and they have all written a book. It's all Luanda.

That's all Luanda. Just drive Luanda. This episode, we got hints that Corey's husband might be gay. That was weird. What? Oh, well, no. So he had a mistress. There's a mistress.

Oh, let me ask you this. Okay, if I see a text on my husband's phone that says that, I'm sorry. That says, let's get a hotel room. You don't say that after not seeing someone for 10 or 20 years. Yeah, that was not just a, that was like a just ran into you. That was shady. Very shady. I don't know.

I was shocked that Corey was still like okay I texted her back you know my wife's looking at property you know I'm happily married so you can show her whatever property you have yeah if he was really a gentleman he's like well what I put you on the phone with her. Yeah. I said, put her on. Put her on now. She's like, well, since I'm using most of my brain these days, of course I know

that she's not going to say this. I'm like, good for you. How stupid do you think I am? Yeah. I'm like, pretty stupid. In the North Shore,

we use most of our brains. I didn't even know the difference between the North Shore and the South Shore. Oh, well, yeah. It's like, North Shore is the sophisticated shore. Oh, well, yeah. It's like, um,

North Shore is the sophisticated shore. Oh, this is where these girls are? Yeah, this is like, this is like Great Nack, and the South Shore is like the working class neighborhood. So Susan is from the South Shore. Now, where are the New Jersey housewives from? Franklin Lakes. Is that the South or the North? That's in New Jersey. These are all, these women are in Long Island. Oh, they're, oh, it's not the Jersey Shore. No, no, women are in Long Island. Oh, it's not the Jersey Shore. It's the Long Island Shore. No, these are in Long Island. Oh, it's the Long Island. This is the Long Island Shore?

Yeah. This is the North Shore. This is the sophisticated part of Long Island? That's the whole beauty of the show, that these are the sophisticated ladies. I was out to dinner with a guy in New York. I've known him since I was 18 years old. He had a girl with him and her ex-boyfriend, both of her ex-boyfriends were in the mob. Well, hence the secrets of why.

And he got her out of it, and I'm like, didn't you learn the first time? He goes, she goes, well, they don't tell you they're in the mob until after you just find out on your own. I thought it was a track planning business. How do you find out on your own? Well, when you start bringing cash and suitcases, and you see guns in drawers, you kind of figure it out. I'm like, oh, my God, I thought that was just in the movies. Wow. She just broke up with these guys in the last few years.

I guess it's still going on. Alright, I'll come back and check on you. Thank you. Well, yeah, I mean, that's basically... Keep your hand there, though. Okay. Well, I'm trying to think. So the other thing that happened on this

episode was that the women were really, um, they were really mad at Jonathan from when he yelled at Corey previously. And so they kept him like, how do you

put up with that? How can you? And Susan's like, you know what? You know what? Not everyone gets this sense of humor. Not everyone gets

that he's a good guy. She does apologize for him. She should, I mean, she should be saying not, instead of defending, she should say, you know what?

I'm sorry he said that to you. It was rude. And that would be it. You know, she should say, you know what, I'm sorry he said that to you. It was rude. And that would be it. You know, you've got to apologize for your guy even if he's wrong. However, you can say, I'm going to apologize for him even though I don't agree with his behavior.

And then drop it. She is an apologizer for him, for sure. But she's been making excuses for him. Here's the thing with Susan. Instead of saying, like, I'm really sorry about that, whatever. I love him. He's a good guy. But I'm sorry about this.

Instead she's just been like, you know what? He has a sense of humor. Not everyone gets a sense of humor. That's all. You know what? He means well. You know he had one too many drinks. I think all you have to say is I'm very sorry. Well, she's done that, I mean, his whole time. Because even about his prison time, she's like,

What? He hardly did anything. It was like crosswalking when the light wasn't on. So he was holding a suitcase in someone else's money. Who cares? The things do it. You know what? I have to say, these women also, probably of all the shows I've seen on Bravo. They're the most authentic, do you think? Well, I think they're actually the least grudge-holding

because they really do go at each other, sort of. They've known each other for years. Yeah, they're like, you know, I didn't like that Jonathan touched my boob. Anyway, invite Jonathan over. I can't wait to see him. You know, it's like, it really, it almost seems like there's no ill will whatsoever.

The other thing, too, that's just astonishing, though, is how they actually, like, if you know when you drink a lot that you're going to get like that, why would you drink a lot like that when you're at a party amongst people and they're filming it? Because he does not care.

He's already been to jail. Don't drink. He's like, fuck that, I'm going to drink. No, you're going to embarrass me. He's like, that's who you married. That's my personality. I'm gonna drink. He's like, no. You're gonna embarrass me. He's like, that's who you married. That's my personality. That's my personality. I'm a drunk.

But I like when they suddenly get classy. And they're like, I can't believe Jonathan touched my breasts. That is not classy. I was like, you were talking about blowjobs two seconds ago with a five-year-old. Yeah. She's like, who farted? Oh, Jonathan's not classy. Who's the arbiter of class around here?

Now, what about Amy's son, Max? Max? Who broke the table. Max was on Insta? Max is very cute, though. Oh, yeah, he's cute. Now, what would happen if RJ, if you saw on Instagram that RJ had broken a table in your house,

what would happen? You know, I don't know. I mean, I don't think he would. Obviously, I don't think he would. You know, I guess if it was my marble table in the living room or whether it was my classic table out in the courtyard. Well, that's the thing. She's like, that was a $5,000 table. Get out of here.

It's not about the IKEA element. On the context of it, if he was over there and had a drunken party with a bunch of friends and they broke something, I would feel like they disrespected my house. If he had three or four friends over and they leaned on the table and they broke it, I think that, you know, big deal. But putting it on Instagram and making it a joke, I think he was just making it a joke. Yeah, I don't mind that he's doing that. And she took it as a personal insult.

I don't even think she did. She was just trying to show the ladies that she'll stand up to him. She's like, I can't believe that he screwed me up. And she took it as a personal insult. I don't even think she did. She was just trying to show the ladies that she'll stand up to him. She's like, I can't believe I was on Insta. I'm doing something about this. That's it. I'm telling him he's moving. Yeah, she was mad that it was on Insta. Yeah, that was the thing that she's like, that was, I was like, that was awesome. Why are so many people hiding a broken table? Well, this is the world we live in. Today, if people, if it's not on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook

or somewhere like that, people think it didn't happen. Yeah. They think it didn't happen. I mean, it's just crazy. Well, that kid is... It didn't happen. I didn't see that. I saw it on Instagram.

That happened. That kid is a spoiled brat because at first he's like, Mom, I'm really so sorry. You know, I really respect you so much. I really messed up this time and I'm really so sorry. No, that's it. I'm going to teach you a lesson, Max. Are you hungry?

Yeah. I'm going to make you something lesson, Max. Are you hungry? Yeah. I'm going to make you something. Yeah. Do you want that al dente? Yeah. She's like, now you're going to fix this, Max. Max, you're going to fix this.

She's like, it's an ugly table anyway. It's like, oh, shut up. But then she calls the dad. Who are you to call my table ugly now? Then he calls the dad. The dad comes in and fixes it. Now, the dad's interested

in whether she's engaged. Well, that's none of your business. Well, I'm here fixing your fucking table, bitch, and that's not my responsibility either. So if I want to ask you if you got a diamond ring, what is it? I don't want this cable anymore. It reminds me of a fight. The dad is hoping that she marries this guy so he can give her the alimony. Let's be honest. He's like the kid's 18, half down, now get married. Yeah, he's like this guy's got a job right?

Does he have wood glue? Because I'm not coming over here every day. Yeah, the minute you get married, he'll be fixing the table. They're all going on. I want a new table. This table is a fight table. I'm not eating on this table. Nobody gets on this table. Does he have a job? Does the kid have a job?

No. No, he works for Jobs and still our company. But he's for the show. He just started. They always get a job for the show. That's another thing. Isn't that funny? The only other thing that was notable they always get a job for the show that's another thing isn't that funny the only other thing

that was notable was Gail Gail goes into her husband's office and she wants she wants she wants her husband to make time

she's like hi ladies and they're all like hot bitch and they're all in those white blazers which was hilarious but the best part is so Gail has this

like rivalry with the head receptionist and so Gail wants to make wants to adjust wants to adjust her husband's schedule, Stephen, I think, so he can come to this birthday party. So she calls in the receptionist. The receptionist comes in and is like,

Oh, you're sitting behind the desk. That's interesting. And then she said something so passive-aggressive. Thank you. Did you notice the guy seemed to have a very... Thank you. The guy seems to be very relaxed around his assistant. Yeah, well, remember Gail said...

Oh, yeah, that's the thing. And then Gail made them all wear white blazers to cover up their boob jobs. And so now they hate her even more. So the head secretary went out and got her hair done and new eyelashes. So now her boobs are pushed up to her chin. And she's like, hello, Gail. Yeah, and then Gail said something like Steven's gonna go do this and then the receptionist... Oh go to the party with the animals. And then the receptionist is like you don't like animals he's not he doesn't like to touch animals and Gail was like yeah

she's like you don't like animals you won't gonna touch an animal everybody knows that yeah and Gail was giving her that face like she was going to kill her. It's amazing. It was absolutely amazing. We can always get you a tie to blaze up, bitch. I think they've probably been with a few animals. Yeah. And I mean the male ties. So anyway, I think we've covered everything. We covered everything?

Yeah. Thank you so much. One was an hour and a half. We did good. Yeah, thanks for gossiping with us and telling us about Miami. Yeah, thanks so much. What else are you guys up to? Oh, let's get a selfie. What are you guys up to? Yeah, thanks for gossiping with us and telling us about Miami and chatting and all this talking. What else are you guys up to? Let's get a selfie. What are you guys up to? Yeah, otherwise it didn't happen.

I know, exactly. I'm instant with Max. I want a selfie with you, but also with that ring! So wait, let's just wrap this up before our selfie. Okay, so what else are you guys up to? When do you do this? Every week? We do this twice a week. Oh yeah, so this is Watch What Crappens. For our links, come to watchwhatcrappens.com

to support us and get bonus episodes. Go to patreon.com slash watchwhatcrappens. Thank you for everybody who supports us there. And everyone can follow Leah on Twitter,

on Instagram at Miss Leah Black. Leah Black Miami. Leah Black Miami. My red carpet's white lies. You gotta be. It's on Amazon. It's gossip and juicy.

And then my Leah Black Inc. Vlog. I-N-K. Leah Black Inc. I-N-K. Vlog. But you guys should post. It's on Amazon. My book, it's Gossip and Juicy. And then my Leah Blackink blog. I-N-K, Leah Blackink, I-N-K blog. But you guys should post your thing there. We have a pretty nice traffic. Right on. Thank you guys so much for listening. How much fun did we have? Apologize! Apologize! Apologize! You have to say, how fun is that? How fun is that?

Tear it down! Thanks, Leah. Bye, everyone. thanks Leah bye everyone if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the Sideshow Network

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