Watch What Crappens - #2039 PumpRules: Back it Up, Beach!

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

The Vanderpump Rules kids go to the beach, and James loses his shit when manbaby Schwartz makes another "joke" at his expense. Will James lose an eye to a scorpion drink bowl? Will Sandoval scream at Katie until he gets vocal nodes and saves the rest of our ears? Will LaLa let Schwartz leave Hermosa alive after smack talking right back to her? Let's find out. This week's premium bonus is RHOC trailer breakdown. For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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we love to talk about on YeoBrofs. I'm Ronnie, I'm with the gorgeous band Mandelker. Hello, banunes. I'm so good today. It was a wacky due episode of Vanderpomper Rules, which we will be getting to in just a moment. But in a couple of weeks, we are gonna be in New York City at the Town Hall, followed by the Lincoln Theater

in Washington, DC a couple of days later. Go get your ticket. Those are humongous shows. We're so psyched to do those. And then in June, we finish up in San Diego, St. Paul, Chicago, Columbus, Boston, and the Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut. Go to watch what crapens.com for links. That's also where you will find our Patreon links.

You can get our crapens on demand bonus episode, crapens on demand videos, and our bonus episodes. And this week is a video and a bonus episode combined because we are going to be doing a by popular demand in an Instagram poll. Yep. Real housewives of Orange County, the trailer that will go up. I don't know, it's probably already up. Go watch it. So thanks so much to everybody for your support.

We love you guys. Thanks for being here. So wow, this episode of Vannamprom Rules. This episode was so good that I started speaking at polls in my mind, I was like, are we getting to the place where we're gonna have to put up a poll and ask what has been the best Vandipromperal season? Because I feel like the ones that stick out, are season one, season two, I think it was season six,

the Jackson, Faith, one, and now this one. I mean, this season has been absolutely amazing. And I think even if there hadn't been Scandival, this would have been an amazing season. So this has been just like really riveting. Also, I saw this on Reddit. I saw this on the Vanderpump Rules Reddit that Lisa, Vanderpump and Ariana are going

to the White House correspondence dinner. Did you see that? Love it. I love that. I think they're going with the Daily Mail as the Daily Mail's guest. So I love that. I love that. I love that, that, that Ariana, like I love all the things coming to Ariana as a result of this mess. It's

wonderful. Yeah. Kind of makes you really just salute to flag like wow. It's really nice to see America really taking shit seriously. I want to be fucking grander comfort rules, cast drummers are showing up. I mean, it is the correspondence. It is the correspondence dinner and that is a lighter tone event, you know, like, isn't that where they're all kind of making fun of yeah, the president or something, but it's like a president in the United States. It's still like the president is there and like And like a Vanderpump rule still. And it's just amazing because it just how it works out because I feel like

Tom Sandeval has often said, come on, man, which is perfect for this President, you know, so I love it. I think it's pretty cool. All right. So, oh, but God bless America. Seriously, let's get it together. How about we work on healthcare? How about that?

How about you? I sent you my emergency room bill and you guys tried to explain what the fuck you're doing over there in the government while you're trying to be half of my money. Okay. There we go. There you go. Okay, let's start. What else is that correspondent to right now? Yeah, there's a correspondent dinner.

Fuck you. All right. Hey, listen, you know, you know what, though, Ronnie? Let me tell you something. You know who knows something about making change in this world? Trixi Monaco, because her opening song, we make it happen, come on, let's do it. The time is right now. Keep it moving.

Literally everyone on this cast knows about making change. They're waiters. Okay. So Schwartz is juicing. That was the big positive song. He's trying to make a juicing. He's like, oh my god, it's overflowing. And then we move over to James and Ali and

the producers don't even want to dwell. They're like, this guy can't even make, can't even squeeze juice out of a pineapple. It's just getting satirin, satir. They really is too. James and Ali are hungover, you know, because they partied. And he's like, I feel like death. I'm never drinking again. It's where to go,ied. And he's like, I feel like death. I'm never drinking again. I swear to God. And Ali has like a gallon jug of that cheap 711 water in her bed. That's my kind of girl right there. Yeah.

And he's like, Ali, what are you gonna do today? She goes, die. So then we got to Katie, I'm throwing some tequila and pouring herself a drink. And she's like, I feel like I did generate. Like, don't look at me better. I'm not some tequila and pouring herself a drink. And she's like, I feel like I'd degenerate. Like, don't look at me better. I'm not proud of this. I'm assuming that she met,

that she met me making a cocktail by herself, but it also could have been just being on Vanderpump rules, because I think that probably is a moment for every cast member, they say, what am I doing on this show? I know. And now it's like she's talking to her daughter. And then I realized, no, she's actually talking to a stick of butter.

Stick of butter. She's talking to the lady on the land of lake, sleepable. As someone who's been through a lot of therapy, I can tell you some of the best I've had is from butter. So Lala comes over and Lala's like, oh my God, some hair of the dogs. I've literally never seen you do this. And Katie's like, yeah, I ordered some Chick-fil-A too. Is that what she said? I ordered some Chick-fil-A. She did order Chick-fil-A.

She doredash some Chick-fil-A. Yes. How do I not like her? She's probably too close to us. She has butter, she gets butter, the butter therapy. She orders Chick-fil-A for breakfast, even though they hate gay people, I guess. Do they still post that?

I think they still do, but at this point, I'm worn down. I'm sick of being like Chick-fil-A, I'm like whatever. You're worn down from it. Also, I know from living in West Hollywood for so long that the gay is, that is one thing

that the gaze don't care about. We don't care the chickens too good. Hate us all along. Yeah, I'm at this point just angry that they're still closed on Sundays. Although I have not ordered Chick-fil-A in 10 years, but still, I get it. I can't get myself worked up.

There's so many things to get worked up about. I just feel like I'm more worked up about other things than Chick-fil-A at this moment. So Lala's like that with such a good birthday, Katie. You and Satch, I'm going to call Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call

it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it Satch. I'm I'm going to call it Satch. I'm going to call it S. I'm going to call it Satch All you could see when you were making outs, mobs, like a mobs. Yeah, just like- It was just like hair, hair like curling up into itself as they make out. It was like one shower drain

making out with another shower drain, it was. It looked like Natasha Leone trying to like, trying to like pick something out of a hole or something. Lots of curly hair. That's what I'm trying to say. It's like Natasha Leon, like about to crawl into a pipe. But are you serious? Like the bit.

Trying to audition for the Super Mario Brothers live action movie. How about it guys? I can get into a pipe. Okay. I can fit in this bullshit. Bullshit. You're lying to me. I'm trying to find a way, even though we're're lying to me. I'm trying to find a way,

even though we're not on video today, I'm trying to find a way to show you how Lala is eating the strawberry. It was horrifying because her lips are so blown up at this point. She takes the strawberry and she puts in her mouth, but the way her lips are like, to. Oh, wow. This is Toe. Oh wow, this is really sexual. It was, it was like that first strawberry, doesn't know what is even happening to it. Wow, yeah, it was visceral. So Katie is saying that she's like nervous.

She was more nervous. She was more nervous about like introducing Satch to the group than he was like, he wasn't that nervous, but she was really nervous about introducing Satch to the group than he wasn't that nervous, but she was really nervous about introducing to the group. I've been noticing Katie's picking up Lala's urban speak. Hala's like, oh yeah, you better step off the carpet. So Katie's like, yeah, I was nervous,

but I'm not necessarily divorced yet. So I'm not even trying to go into a relationship right now It's like oh no, you're hanging out with Katie. You're hanging out with Lala too much So Lala's like you and Tom's are actually going to be divorced You're both allowed to go out there and start dating the only ass was take it outside the groups So do you think there's any coming back for you in Recalc? By the way, I guess this doesn't apply for Oliver separated from his wife, but so Lala's, yeah, Lala's, the accusation from Oliver's wife is that they weren't really separated.

Is that they broke up, but that he told her they were working on things. And I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I mean, I'm just, I'm just saying like, no, I totally, I totally get that. Like, I think Oliver's up to some shady stuff there with his wife, but I'm just saying, I totally get that. I think Oliver's up to some shady stuff there with his wife. But I'm just saying that Lala, all of a sudden, is pretty chill now with the idea of being separated, going through things, trying to figure it out.

She's very chill about it in this situation. Well, she's the great vacillator. She does that a lot in this episode. We're suddenly, she's totally fine with things. She was infuriated about five minutes ago, like at the end of the recount. So then Katie's like, well, I mean, I can keep peace with Raquel for sure,

but I want a distance from me and Raquel. And she tells us, I mean, I thought I saw something in Raquel that made me want to try to get a friendship off the ground. Okay, well, thank you for at least admitting that you were never friends with her, Cal. Yeah, and she says, she's like, but I don't want to sleep with one eye open.

I don't want to have to watch my back. I mean, like fuck that. It was hard enough spending all those years with Tom having to go to sleep, being afraid he was gonna get drunk and knock down the front door of our house. So I just want to sleep in peace now. And Lala is like, well, obviously she like whoop that last night. What did she say?

Who'd up? I wrote who'd up. She's she showed up. When she said she showed up, it was the best gift ever for Lala. And she's like, when you see someone's like Raquel coming in and they've called you a mistress and they ask and then then every article on the internet is like calling her mistress. It's like welcome. Let's talk. And Katie is like, yeah, and I was telling Santa Paul like, oh, she's getting like dragged online. I was like, well, you're leaving out the part where you're also clapping and laughing and saying how much you love that. But okay.

And he says, yeah, you seem to be enjoying this and then he goes, yes. And then we see the hate tweets about Raquel. I take a screenshot of them so we could, during a more innocent time where we thought, like, wow, she's really getting so much hate. I was like, look at this, look at this tile. We have hate that Raquel is getting over an over an all of her scandal that lasted for half a half a news cycle. Yeah. I thought she was better than this. Truly gross behavior from a supposed sweet girl.

Guess she's more sour than sweet. Another one, blue wave said, the only pageant crowd she'll be winning now is the one for Miss Mistress, and it looks like Miss Mistress. It looks like she's coming for the title. And then Blake writes, when someone tells Rikkel not divorce, all she hears is the perfect man. And then someone said, the last one I like because these ones are all like are these clever written by production But then this last one from sunny day of all names just goes damn Raquel is a messy bitch So So Katie's like he's like can I just enjoy this?

I mean she said that she told sand of all, like, or she says like a couple weeks ago, you know, she's making out with like, my not even ex-husband yet. And then I was like, you seemed like you enjoyed her at the Abbey at 1am, just the two of you, because that's what she told Sandevol. And Lollogist, that is weird. Like, who saw them there? Ali? And so,

she saw them there after see you and see you next Tuesday. And so, here's the thing, this is another one of those. If we didn't know how this was gonna end up, I would be sitting here like, who cares? The obvious, literally right next door to serve, that's why they go there. They go there,

either after work, shift drinks, and they dance a little bit. It was probably a whole group of people, which it turns out it was. Who cares? Rick Hell was always hanging out with Ariana and Tom Sandeball. Exactly. In many ways, why would you call her a whore because of that? You guys are ridiculous. That's how I would think if I didn't know.

Same. I would do this episode. I kept on thinking about all the things that we would have said and how dumb we would have looked. You know, like how many times we would have said like, oh, please get off it. Suddenly people can't like, they're like friends. Like Santa Vell and Ariana are fine.

This is all misdirection. Stop it. We would have looked like idiots. Yes, we have before. I mean, listen, a millions of times. Like, I believe Jack's when Jack's kept saying he didn't cheat. And it's not so. He's like, yes, you did motherfucker. I know you cheated. I was like, no, and Jack's just kept saying with like puppy dog eyes. This was just before we knew that Jack's was a compulsive liar. Like that came

later where we all learned, oh, he just like literally lies about everything. But in that first season, he just kept pleading his case. I mean, I'm just so gullible. I'm a gullible person. Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. Well, I mean, the whole and the second season, that like, there was all this thing about like, Kristen and Tom and then it turns out that Kristen slept with Jacks.

I mean, it's like this show, we should know better. The moment people are denying cheating, they're cheating. So Katie is like, I don't want to say that Tom Tandoval would ever cheat on Ariana because I would have to kill him. But what grabbed my attention the most was that Tom and Raquel were alone. And I've been friends with Tandoval, well, I've tolerated him for years.

And I've never gone out with him alone dancing at 1 a.m. before. Yeah, but you guys hate each other, A. And B, they weren't alone, which we found out later, they were with people from work, right? That's what they said later, at least. And that's what makes me so crazy.

The season is literally making me crazy because you're in the position of like having to root with Katie because like they're calling it, you know what I mean? Right, they're totally right. Yeah, because they're totally right. Oh, it's so frustrating. But they're basically, it just makes me hate Tom Sattavall. I resent Tom Sattavall so much for the situation he has put me in. Do you know what Scattavall has done to me? But I feel like what makes me frustrated is that they're right, but the way they got to their correctness was through methods. I don't approve of them, but methods that were

like mean girl methods. I was like, but I was like, what, how you're coming to it makes me mad. You're just like me accusations. But you're right, damn it. You know? Yes, it's making me mad. So then they go, Tom and Tom go to a food truck called Heasty Boys. Oh, Heasty Boys. It's a sandwich truck.

Yeah, their bagels have a lot of hype, but they're not the best bagels in LA. Sorry to break it to everyone out there. Oh, God. And Schwartz is like, We should have started a food truck. It's so self-contained and manageable. That's what Katie and Ariana should have started, by the way. And I'm going to, I think that that would, that's actually the perfect idea.

A food truck, they could go sit outside the bars when the kitchen's closed at the Vander Pump restaurants. They could go park outside of pump and serve the kitchen's closed. People when the kitchens close at the Vanderpump restaurants, they could go park outside of pump and serve. The kitchens are closed. People are gonna need their drunk sandwiches in the middle of the night. The only thing that's near there is that hamburger I have in place.

Yeah, they should do that. I agree. When there's big concerts or stuff in town, they could go park the food truck there and a quarter of the people from those concerts are gonna recognize that name and go get a sandwich. I know, and then they can expand to brick and mortar

after they've established the proof of concept. Like brick and mortar is overrated, who needs it? We've seen Shark Tank, we don't understand how business works exactly. Yeah. So Tom and Tom are at this bagel truck and Schwartz is like, oh yeah, we should start a food truck and then he picks up a bottle and goes, oh sweet, brusquies, oh, it's just apple juice.

So they're taking their name for the sandwiches like Tom and Tom. Dude. So what was the conversation with Raquel? Like we did not make out, like I have so much more appreciation for Raquel now. Send them all like, yeah, she's dope. Now look, I think you can say a lot of different things about Raquel. She's not dope. There's, I'm sorry, there's,

even if we'd never knew about ScandalVal, there's nothing about Raquel that's actually dope. Like there's still is like, there's not a lot going on there. I'm going to agree with Lala on this one here. So Swartz is like, I just don't know why I'm not attracted or I don't get it. It's like, you don't have to be attracted to where there's no rule, bro. He's like, I just have this gut feeling that she's got a crush on someone else. Like someone like really old and ski-view-looking probably,

because you know, there's some shame there. Maybe it's like someone trying to buy a singing career even though they don't have any talent. I just, I could just tell them the way she's always asking to listen to like non-auto-tuned songs on YouTube. You know? Tom's like, mm, mm, who could it be? What do you think was, what was going on here Ronnie because at this point based on what Schwartz said he found out

like an August right at this point We know they are in early September correct because the Schwartz and Sandees did not open they were supposed to open on August 31st So now we know we're in September Quisper past that date that passed that date So Schwartz already knows that they slept together, and yet he's actively saying to Sandevol, I feel like she has a crush on someone else, is he trying to do like the double fake out,

like, oh, like if they were having a fair, I would never say this to Tom, because I would never out him. So the fact that I'm saying this to Tom shows that they're totally not having an affair. I don't know, that was my head. Yeah, I've probably been, but honestly, I don't think shorts would be able to, like, he's just not that smart. And I don't know.

I think he's just fucking with his friend. Because he's like, yeah, I think she's just fucking with him because he's made him do all of this stuff all season, trying to cover for it. And so I think he's fucking with him to get him back a little bit. Just out him a little bit. Just make him uncomfortable. Yeah, they're also fucking with Ariana and Katie just by going to support a sandwich place. Like in general, they're like, let's go promote this sandwich place.

But there really could be no word to better describe so much of this show than Yeastie. So I mean, do you know how many Yistee infections these guys have given people? I love that they're going to like Yistee fight or whatever. Yistee daddy. So, Sandevol is like, sorry, that's not proper. Why am I talking about Yistee infections?

I feel like you dragged me there. You know, I avoided going there and then you dragged me right there. I always said was Yistee. You should've said to me. I always said to me. Yeah, should be. I said to me. Yeasty. Yeah.

Good. Well, I apologize for taking podcasts there. So, I was saying to all, I take never responsibility for anything, but actually, it's okay. So, I got to go to Klinz. Ariana wants me to fertilize her eggs and it helps the eggs live stronger and become like better cover band members. So, I guess I have to do this. And Schwartz is like, but do you want to? He's like, um, I mean, yeah, I guess. I mean, is it like a like, why not kind of a vibe? But like, you're not like, okay,

just thanks for asking me. He's like, why? So we can have kids more 50 or something? Like, I mean, it's a little frustrating with Ariana bro. It's like, we'll be talking. And she just like comes at me. Like that whole girl's tripping. I was wanting to talk about that. And she's like, what? So you can go yell at women.

And then we see a clip of, this is not what happens. This is my least favorite thing when guys do this to women. All the time they do this. A woman is like Hey, I don't like that dude. Why are you yelling at me and meanwhile how much footage do we have of Tom Sandeval? Literally yelling at women over the years Season after season like yelling full on yelling at them and Arianna's like Like I don't want to be here because I don't wanna be here for the whole Tom Yelza women thing.

Like, that's what she says. And that's, oh, she's coming at me, bro. Yeah. And also because he's cheating on her and now making it look like she's doing bad things to do so she doesn't excuse, you know? Yeah. And now he's like, reframing the narrative.

Like, she is just, oh, she's just a shrew. Just another female shrew coming so hard at his delicate soul. So, Santa Claus is like, I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about bro? And Swords like, yeah, you know, she's really quick to be dismissive of you. And that's a slippery slope in a relationship. Oh my god. You know, Elsa's slippery slope.

Juicers, they're so hard. How did they get this apple juice in the bottle? So, like, can you see where I'm coming from for even one fucking second, here we go. Where is Tom coming from? What is he taking his dance on? He doesn't want to have a baby when he's 50 now, but you'll still be acting like you're 22 and you're 50.

So why is this not work for you? He'll be, yeah, I mean by the time he does it, he'll be 50. So, stand of all, and also and also by the way listen to your instincts Because Arianna's instincts told her she does eventually probably want to have children or at least the chance because she's freezing her eggs Okay, nothing says that that's on your mind like actually going through the process We're instincts told her not to do it with this idiot. So listen to them. You know, listen to your heart. So listen to your ex before you free some shorts a little bit holding up the eyes. Listen to my egg. So it's handled. It hurts my feelings

because like the person I love things I'm dumb or annoying, and it pulls into question whether or not Ariana and I are even right for each other. I was like, well, one way to remedy that is stop being dumb and stop being annoying, and then maybe she won't think that of you. Yeah, and also if you'd brought this up last season before you were fucking someone like 10 years junior, that might have been a good time.

Also, maybe don't have a cover band that goes and plays off in Higori Hills every five nights. And maybe she won't think you're so dumb and annoying. Yeah. It's like the dumbest idea and the most annoying concept. Yeah. So it's like not only do I love Ariana, but like I want to love to start off every day with a new dumpling latte because I know it makes her so happy. And she's like, oh my god, thanks Tom. Like it makes your so congratulations, Tom. You fucking curing something for your partner every day.

What a fucking prince. He brought that up on that Howie Mandel thing. Like, bro, like people are saying I'm horrible. I mean, you know, a latte every day to show. He loves making, he loves doing that shit. He literally is a bartender. And so then, Shzenegg says, but does she reciprocate?

Like so, oh, it's a conditional latte apparently. It's a very long pause. It's a very, very long pause. Is he's like, has she ever made me a latte? And he's like, no, she's never made me a dumpling latte. Wow, and the injustice, the latte and justice happened to sandable. Guys, you know, I changed my entire opinion.

Sandable was totally in the right. He went years without getting his reciprocal latte. Wow, I should have realized the pain he was going through. First of all, she didn't make you a latte because you're not drinking dairy and everybody fucking knows it, okay? So she's doing you a favor and be how much fucking spray tan is she rubbed into your asshole over the years okay that girl has buffed you every other day for years now so don't don't hold a latte over your head like

you fucking Julia Childs that shit. Sure, that she also helped you with us so far really this season and I feel like anytime you help someone move a sofa that's worth about three years worth of lattes. God, that's Faith fills her entire fucking bathtub in latte. That's right. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence. If you're hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty and now more than ever

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especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of Impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what?

We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet. And it's meat! Plant meat! Correct! So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill,

grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today, just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. So now we go to James' apartment. He's gonna have some peanut butter jelly because his tummy hurts and the alley is sitting in the corner doing some astrology and James is like, oh, so what's going on is Pluto going into Uranus? No, he says it's Pluto going into my Uranus or watch. He's like not funny James, okay. I've told you that a million times. So it makes sense for you though because like you've got Venus in your house, Saj. And he's like, what?

What is that mean? What's happening, Gale? I've got Venus in your house, sadge. And he's like, what? What is that mean? What's happening, what's happening, Gale? I've got Venus on my side, but sadge is my Venus. What's happening? Gale, you have to tell me. She's like, you're firing passionate and you love PDA. He's like, I'm a gold member.

I'm a member in the beginning. We'd make it everywhere. I'm miss that. I'm just making it everywhere with you. That's just like, yeah, that was fun. I really enjoyed that, but also glad that chapter is over. Yeah, well anyway, and she goes, last night was fun.

He's like, yeah, especially when you know who showed up. You know what I'm saying? Raquel, I meant Raquel. That's, I could see you were lost there, Ali, for a moment. And she's like, oh my God, I was shocked. She has like serious boss. He's telling us, oh, so you're telling me that Raquel,

the influencer, didn't look this guy at once. I looked him up for like 10 seconds. I didn't even spell his name right. And he pops right up and you can see he's married and he has a wife like, hello. Hello. I'm even though Raquel has proof of herself to be a mistress in the world of Vennipop rules,

I'm not going to put the Oliver thing on her. I think, and let's not forget, if it weren't for Requel, that would have been Lala. That was in that position. Lala was the one who got mad, who was so mad that Requel wound up with Oliver that Lala was the one who got into a fight with Requel afterwards in the bed. So let's not forget that, everyone. It's also a kiss, and on this show, that's nothing. I mean, Tom Stantleval had the Miami girl show up.

And wasn't she pregnant? No way. She showed up and said they fucked. But then Jack's is the one who got someone pregnant in my... Jack's got someone... Jack's got someone allegedly get someone pregnant in Miami. No, in Las Vegas.

And that's just like a casual footnote on this show. That's what's so funny. Like, oh yeah, Jack's like knocked up someone. Yeah, the guys can fully implant babies into people. I think a girl kissing somebody once in Vegas can be. Yeah. So, Ali's like, I did notice Katie was talking to sand of all and I got nervous because it looked heated

And I also got nervous because I thought sand of all might start seeing Farmer Jim because oh really and what did you say to Katie yet? It does not then what did you say and Ali goes well? I said like how we went to the Abby and like after see you next Tuesday and then we saw Raquel there and like Tom alone and then like Katie didn't think it was weird because she said that with Raquel, like Katie doesn't trust her. And like that, there's, I think I'm saying the wrong. I think my brain has gone into seditorious in the future.

She says I apologize. She says she doesn't like trust Raquel, but that like Tom and Ariana like don't have a lot of rules or something, and I don't know what that means. And James says, oh, what sounds to me like Katie saying that Tom and Ariana are in an open relationship, basically. Well, look at that.

And I was like, wait, so you think she meant open relationship? And he's like, yeah, it's like that Lola time Lola went down on Ariana in the back of Tom's car. La la la la la la la la la la la la la. time Lola went down on Ariana in the back of Tom's car. I'm worried. I don't want to be involved. Even though I've now started an entire scandal, which actually happens to be true, but I don't want to be involved. Should I talk to Ariana about it? And James? Oh, that's a muddy puddle. My puddle. He's like, you don't want to tell Arianady puddle. You don't want to tell Ariana with that info. You don't want to tell her that.

But you know what I would do? I would talk to Sheena because she's close to Ariana and she loves the gossip. She'll love it. He's just showing her. He's just showing her the game, you know? It's like, since she will be a full-time cast member on this show, once we're married.

So, uh, Katie and Ariana are at now at the future home of something about her. I'm cast member on this show once we're married. So Katie and Ariana are now at the future home of something about her. And they're their. They're a Bubwe. Bubwe. Yes. Well, there is a, there is a bakery here called Bub and Grandma's. So yeah, I like Bubwe. Has anyone suggested that?

Bubwe. I like it. Bubwe. They're a Bubwe. And they're that? Bubwe? I like it. Bubwe. They're a Bubwe. And they're all excited. Because they're dumplings. Bubwe dumplings.

Bubwe dumplings. Bubwe dumplings. Oh my God, there's one. Bubwe dumplings. Yeah. So they're excited. And they're loving the space and everything. And they're thinking about what they're going to do for it.

And then Lisa Vanderpump walks in. Oh, hello. Look at this room full of potential giants, pendulums and clock decor. And I love their, because they both come from kind of farmhouse style homes. So I like that they're like, we can paint this and hell note a ship lap. Yeah. And I have a lot of shipwats.

I live in that style home too. And I feel like we're all pissed now because it's like, yeah, it's like switching over to where that's not popular anymore and now you're stuck with all this shit all over the stuff with ship lap and area that's like we are so ready for this I mean like we know how to turn on the air conditioner and like the power and all of that I was like oh my god do you guys are like Roy Crocker I know soon they're going to design their very first sandwich. So they're having visions of flowers outside

and Katie's like, I wanna have like a nook moment in the corner and I just wanted to be cozy in like a place for people to hang out. I'm like, you don't want people to, you want to get people out of there. You want volume sandwiches. It's how it is. It's how it is.

There's literally, they put three chairs in the middle of the restaurant to talk and it takes up the whole restaurant. There's no room for a line, there's no room for anything. I hope there's like some garden space or something. Yeah, always be sandwiching, ABS, always be sandwiching. Yeah, so relax, so relax. So yeah, they're just talking and Lisa's like, so have you budgeted for everything you want? You know, called God spread, things like that.

You have designed a sandwich before. Sandwiches. Sandwiches. Sandwiches. A planter right in front of the door when you walk in, you have to sort of scoot around to get to the sandwiches. Surely you've budgeted for an actual olive tree flown in from Greece. And you will have some pink neon and random places, shall I want you?

So they are looking for investors, and they tell her that they don't want their bank accounts to dwindle, and she's like, oh, that's very smart. You've seen what's happened to the tombs. Anyway, enough talking about boring things, telling me about Lala's birthday. And Ariana's like, well, it was a good time. And then Raquel showed up fresh after like telling off Oliver.

And he's like, oh Oliver, what's he done wrong? What's happening? God, here we go. Fucking Lisa Vanderpump will always stand up for a piece of shit man. Every single time. Like you can always count on her to do that. So Katie's like, he's done everything wrong. And Ariana says, well, he's out here hooking up with other women. She's, hold on for a second.

I know for a fact that he was separated and filing for divorce at some point, which is probably not filed yet, or legally separated. Actually, like was he legally separated? I mean, you don't know for a fact, shit, show me that paperwork, ma'am. And Katie's like, well, his wife is saying something different. Well, guess what? I don't like to judge anybody when nobody from this group has displayed exemplary behavior. Plus, you don't know how difficult it is to get good weight staff, okay? Oliver, the way he carries his giant pump-teens from table to table, you just can't find people like that in Las Vegas.

Besides, Katie, who are you to judge? You've been married multiple times. I mean, it seems like we've had many scenes of you marrying 57 to 57. Darling, just for ketchup bottles, Lisa. Still darling, you're just so good at it. You're like the black widow of ketchup. You know what, the man is separated. He's filing for divorce.

He wants a little snug with Rikertl and he's a bad guy. I don't think so, not in my eyes, which are beautiful. If we were separated from Ken, if I were separated from Ken, I'd want to live in a slog too. And Ariana is like, yeah, I mean, I just don't want to see the Gabel brought down on Raquel. I'm like, yes, Raquel hasn't done anything wrong either. So she made out for the guy in Vegas. And she's like, Katie, you look unconvinced and she's like, she sacks. Now, don't let your perception of Raquel. Don't be sad. Listen, it's emotionally, what does she say? It's emotionally, it's a weird sentence structure. She's like, don't let your perception for care because it's so much she's

stimulating. Don't let it be, you know, like affected. And he goes, she's a hoe. I don't like her. He's like, you cannot see. She's a hoe. I mean, sure,. You cannot see. She's a hoe. I mean, sure, she's skinny, but you can't put her in a garden and till some weeds. No, Lisa, that's not what a hoe means these days. Oh, well, I'm lost then. She's a hoe and I'll be like,

oh, God, it was a kiss. Come on. She goes, no, listen, like, because she's saving herself because she's literally sl etch aimed every cast member on the show. So she saves herself, she goes, well listen, I'm a ho too.

She's, oh Katie, you haven't had sex. I mean, we've got sex twice in the past year. Give me a break, it's Kate. Hey, invisible customers. Katie just said she's a ho. Ha ha, lol, lol. Customers who are sitting here in the invisible nook, taking up space for people who want to order real sandwiches. Katie's a hoe!

And Katie's like, I don't know too people, but like many more times than two. Not by any candy. So the guesthouse coffee, let's go to Jameson Lala, meeting up for lunch. Hi, Jameson. You're like, oh, you look cool. You're out for stope. So I'm preparing for my festival next Friday. I'm flying to Atlanta to play at Imagine Fest, which is, as you can imagine, an imaginary

festival. I'm so excited. It's kind of surreal. I've done plenty of nightclubs, but this is my first festival. I'm hoping for cascade, but it's not like cascade, the dishwasher's kinda surreal. I've done plenty nightclubs, but this is my first test of all. I'm hoping for cascade, but it's not like cascade, the dishwasher's deteriorated. It's cascade with a K and another K. It's a double K cascade. I mean, one more cascade, one more K, and it would be offensive. But this way, it's totally in. I mean, there's going to be

like 30,000 people, 50,000 people, 100,000 people. And for those of you sleeping under a rock, you fat fox cascades, lezzin' very music producer and a soul writer. And to open up for someone of his level is a dream come true. There's only someone that is all I could achieve. Massive. Massive. So Lala's like, yeah, cool. So I'm gonna order a taco salad. He's like, same. You know, Ali actually showed me my very first taco salad from Mendocino Thumbs. I was like, what a sweet memory that they share.

How are you two already? I'm already waiting twins. My God. The funny thing is, as I was watching this, I actually almost ordered from Mendocino Farms, and I had a huge amount of regret that I didn't have. They can suck my dick with their $17 sandwiches. I can't with them.

Do you like, but it's the loin of a pork. Fuck off, and your traumatic almost broke my teeth one time. Ronnie, how could you speak so bitterly about a place that is sacred for me and Ali? So, Lala's like, by the way, I really like Ali. She's like funny. And when I talk to her, there's like something happening up here, you know, like with your ex, it's very robotic. It's like very steppert wives. I'm like, Lala, did you see yourself last season? Did you see the way you were playing home with Randall? Yeah, but it's fine as long as you're

getting it matching, you know. And he's like, well, honestly, I think you said your piece to her and she's not in the room right now and you don't even need to do anything or say anything else, just let it be. Like, oh, James is still sticking up for Raquel. That's, but yeah. Kind of cute. Well, I,

sick way. He really just loves Raquel. I don't think he was sticking up for Raquel. I think what he was saying is, if we ignore her, she will wither away and die and she'll go away. Oh, no. I think he was saying, listen, you've already said what you need to say with her, you can leave her alone now. Like, I know you've had your fun. You got to yell at her at your birthday party. Maybe you could just leave her alone now. Okay. I think he just doesn't like her being like getting the attention of that

in argument creates like she's getting all the cameras, she's getting all the storylines, and he's like, sick of it. He's just like, he's like, just leave her alone. It's fine. You don't have to say, he's basically like, don't, you don't have to have a reality show moment with her, like, have a reality show moment with me. Or maybe, but the way that he's still obsessed with Raquel is, he's obviously stolen up a breakout. Well, that's true, too. That's not, that is definitely still true. So he's like, he's like, everyone's got an opinion

and everyone's got an ego. The size of my cock just getting and a lot like a set of small. I'm really, really? That wasn't part of the joke. And she's like, I came back twice. So we're turning customers anyway. What's the rest of the week gonna be like?

And he's like, well, I want to, you know, I just be home scratching my bowls. And she's like, well, I want to, you know, I just be home scratching my balls and she's like, you have a girlfriend to scratch your boss now. I was like, kind, what was your relationship like? She's like, well, you know what? I just started just because I'm friends with fat people, doesn't mean I have to be with fat people on the inside. So let's go up to the beach.

So let's all go down to her most and everyone can come. And she's like, okay. who the fuck goes to Hermosa? Can we just take a moment? Why would they drive to Hermosa? That's not a place that you go. I mean, you do if you're in Hermosa, but why wouldn't you go to like the boo? Maybe.

If you're gonna drive that far, go to one of the private beaches at the boo. No, they probably, they probably been Madison from Million Dollar Listing probably kicked them out of the booth. He's like, you can't be here anymore. Q. Rani doing the Madison laugh. Is that his? This is fat.

I was like, that was it. I was like, I'm not going to do it. Rani has it down. So Lala invites the Don. She keeps calling him the Don, it drives me nuts. And James is like, he's like, listen, I don't want to exclude anyone because I know it's like to be disinvited.

And when you've been disinvited by fat stupid people, it really burns, okay? So here is a skinny hot person inviting everyone here as an example, you know, because I don't want anyone to met me as someone who disinvited people. And ever since Mexico, I realize it recounting means nothing to me, so she can just be Schwartz's little toy anyway.

Let him bring his little toy. And James is like, if Schwartz comes, he's going to want her anyway. And Lala's like, you're a damn full James. He's like, I know it would be worse than having Ricardo at the beach. Having everyone come up to me at the beach going, I think Ricardo at the beach. I think Ricardo at the beach. Why don't you bring Ricardo at the beach?, I don't make out the beach. I don't make out the beach. Why don't you bring it for cat at the beach? I mean, God, bring her already.

It's one of the smartest things he said actually. He's like, I don't wanna deal with it. I don't wanna deal with Shina coming up to me and be like, um, why isn't life a cat like this? I just thought you'd have to like move over here for a while. He's like, whatever. That stupid face come to the stupid beach. So now we go over to Sandeval and Tom going to the Bravo fertility doctor.

This guy who does like all the fertility for Shaza sunset and for like Beverly Hills and like any show that shooting in LA, they go to this guy. So Sandeval is like, hey, I'm here for my Giz results. And the lady is like, yeah, I'll be right back. Did you just say Giz results? the lady's like, yeah, I'll be right back. Uh, did you just say Jiz results? Not cool, man. It's like, thanks for being here with me because obviously Ariana would be here,

but you know, her grandmother passed away so she had to go out on a family set. I was like, oh, and then he rolls his eyes. Like, he's mad at Ariana. And he's like, oh yeah, Ariana is like a little cranky these days. Her beloved dog just died, her grandma just died. And he's like, she's, Ariana is like a little cranky these days. Her beloved dog just died, her grandma just died. And he's like, she's just like coming at me right now. Yeah, super classy guy.

So then the doctor's like, Tom and Tom, hello, got your results. They're very good. My face isn't moving, but just let me tell you, if it could move, it would be smiling. Now the good news is overall overall the volume is four million. So normally that's the double level. Okay. It's double than normal.

So your sperm are swimming well. Okay. And final category, the look of the sperm, they've all got little weird moustaches and they're wearing parachute pants and a fake silk and I think that's something we're gonna need to work on. Also we've never seen this before but your sperm are actually wearing thunderbolt necklaces. Didn't think that could be possible. But one of your sperm was actually trying to pull off, hold on to the night and it really just, really just not working, okay? So, Sandevol's very alarmed.

I love that Sandevol's alarmed because it's like, dude, my sperm aren't hot. They don't look good. They look weird. They're not like super hot like model sperm. So, he's like upset because his sperm levels of like, how they look are at 6% and at 14%. You know, he has ugly sperm. Yeah, well no one% at a 14%. You know, you know, it's ugly sperm.

Yeah, well, no one wants here. They have ugly sperm, you know. It's like your body isn't working, you know. So they're like a band of pump rules like medical malady. You're sperm or ugly. Dr. So Santa Claus is that from stress and drinking and the doctor says, well, I think drinking a lot of super tight clothing,

drugs and shorts is like, yeah, you said laughing. Short just like juggles loudly. Doctor's like, so you know, when we take these sperm, we're gonna be picking these sperm individually. And like, look, you still have six percent out of like 180 million sperm. So like, it's pretty good.

So like, you want to keep wearing your very tight clothing, your tight jeans for your cover band, go ahead. It'll be okay. So thank God. He says, let's take three months to improve your sperm because A, we know that sperm is not improving. Tom cannot go more than five minutes with that to drink. And also, this is enough time for Arianna to escape before she was her eggs on this foot. Yeah. So, so SantaVal calls Arianna and she's like, she's emotionally exhausted from everything and she talks about her grandma and her grandma's her best friend and she gets like really sad. And she just sort of is like, she's had to deal

with like a lot of setbacks and a lot of death and she just wants it to stop happening. She just wants a break. And then send a ball. It's like, yeah, well, my morphology is low and I love you dumpling. Hope someone gets you a latte over there because I'm not there. And you know, I've been giving you a lot of days. And if you want to send me some of the back in coffin form, I'm here. Yeah, you know, it's great to talk to you.

Sorry, everything's happening. I've been checking the mail to see if there's a lot to you in there, but whatever. I mean, hope you're okay with your dread-grab on stuff, so... Yeah, dude. Let me give you a heartfelt... Dude. It's time for commercial. It's time.

Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writer's room. Each episode, members of the writer's room, and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2, starting June 22nd on MAX, and listen to and just like that, the right as room on MAX, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a crap in commercial. So we got to Allie and Sina meeting up for lunch and Sina's like, hi, wait, this place is like, sarkew, wait, wait, wait,

this place is sarkew. Yeah, they're like, they're at a place, I've driven by a million times, I had no idea it had all these like fun and games in it and now I have to go to it. And now it's like, they turned like an old firestone plate, like a firestone dealership, not dealership,

like a tire place on LaBrea into like a food hall. And yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Yeah. This place is like soccer.

And the alley's like, yeah, isn't this cute? They have like Monday night free skibble. Ah! Ah! Free skimble? Ah! So, Shina orders a Moscow mule. And then Allie's like, wait, the waiter tells Allie, wait, you like spicy?

Because the spicy, the more greedy it's good. She goes, oh my god, how did you know I was going to say that? He's like, you like spicy? Cause the spicy margarita is good. She goes, oh my God, how did you know I was gonna say that? He's like, you look spicy. Also, chances are someone says they like something spicy. They're not a lot of like standard spicy drinks on the menu beyond the spicy margarita. How did you know? So she knows like, I'm definitely gonna get some tacos.

He's saying, oh, hey, I noticed like everyone on some tacos. Each day I'm a-wa-wa-wa-wa. Hey, I noticed like everyone on the invitation was on the invitation, but Raquelb, and I was like, no, but then I saw that like he added her afterwards and I was like, sorry, I didn't have everyone invited. So that was like a breath of fresh air and relief. Ha! I mean, I'm so happy that Raquelb feels okay

with us hanging out, Ali. And Ali's like, yeah, we can be like cordial, but we're like not gonna be besties. And she says, in us hanging out, Ali. And Ali's like, yeah, we can be like, cordial, but we're like, not going to be vasties. And she says, in my friend group, it's not really normal to stay friends with your ex. You break up, and then you never see him again. But in this friend group, you look around, and it's nothing but X is. It's a really weird. Yeah, well, I guess, guess he's in line next for that, Ali. Yeah, she just signed their life away to the devil

and a van der pump magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic to see what Ali turns into because we see a hint. We see a hint of like her getting her spun and fighting with James in public today, which I liked. But I cannot wait to see what the future holds for this. She has a lot of upside. She has a lot of upside. She does have more personality than Rakel did when Rakel saw her dating James. So I think that she could really come into her own.

Oh yeah, she's also getting her own like diary rooms. Rakel wasn't back then, was she? I don't think so. I don't know. So, I think Raquel talked for like two years. I think Raquel's kind of like a kitten. You know how kittens don't open their eyes for a couple of months? And they just kind of like learn really slowly.

I think she thought the DJ booth by the pizza oven. It was just the warmest place to be and It took her like two years for her eyes to kind of open She was like a cat that crawled up under the tire of a car in the winter because the engine was still warm Yeah, finally Tom Sandivall is like licking all the goo off of her, you know, and preparing her for the real world Rekel has been around for a long time on this show. That's the thing.

You always feel like she's been around for like two years, but I think she started coming around season six or so, maybe even five, but that's like almost half of this show's run, which is crazy. And but she only started talking, I think, last year. That's amazing, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think that was the first one.

She had a couple of moments where she's like, hey, that's not nice to like say James is cheating on me. Like she had those couple of moments over the years. But for the most part, yeah, a little kitten. A little kitten who once were a swiffer to a reunion. So she knows like, so, Ali, like, how do you feel about the other girls? Like, you can cut the nice girl like, And Ali's like, it's been hard. I mean, seeing the way you guys all talk about Raquel and she goes, did they say something about her?

Say something, see something, say something. And Ali's like, well, the other night, I saw Tom and Raquel after seeing you next Tuesday and I thought that was weird. And so I mentioned it the next day at Lala's and Katie's like, oh, Tom and Ariana have like a weird no so I mentioned it the next day at Lala's and Katie's like oh Tom and Ariana have like a weird no rules thing where they have like a totally open relationship What does that mean? Wait, wait, wait, wait, what is that mean? No rules. What was that?

Oh, like it just means that they just like sleep with everyone inside They just go around like up and down the block and they just like take off their clothes and just like have sex with every single person in the neighborhood Um, there are my two best friends, and this is the first I'm hearing about, and I don't believe it. What? Sadler. And the fact that Katie said that,

and that Prada out there, that is disgusting of Katie. I like that. It's totally disgusting. Would you feel comfortable with Brock going to a club at 1 a.m. with Rick Hell? Yeah, Brock has like a big brother, a Santa Ball, a big brother to Rick Hell. I would trust him in the same bed with her.

I was like, oh no, God. No, no, no, no, no. She should. She should. No. I mean, she should. He's all concerned. Yeah, she, she doesn't have the best picker, you know, we know that.

That's like, that's just one of her qualities is a bad picker. Yeah, I think if we didn't know about Scandal Vault, this might have been the moment where we might have had some doubt. Like, we would have been like, well, maybe something is going on. She knows a little, feels a little too confident about the situation. Yeah. So she knows like, for them to say that they like,

don't trust her color around their man and like that Recall is like this type of person like that is like not okay Everyone wants to find something wrong with the Raquel, okay, and everyone wants to think Raquel is after their man Like I went down to Santa valet 230. I remember the Abbey. I seen nothing weird about that But because it's Raquel it must be something else Do it when I see Santa Valtemarle. Just so you know, I'm Beeline, I'm Shreddum, and I'm telling him,

I'm idiot-like. About the free ski ball Monday nights, it's so cool. It's so good. My god, spicy margarita. So then we gotta be at stay, and she's gonna go, right here, closer to the trash. Perfect. You've ever heard somebody say that?

That is the motto of Vanderpump rules closer to the trash. So they're all setting up. Everyone's all the fan favorites are there. Christina Kelly. There's a crab walking around on the beach. There's a seagull that just pooped somewhere, just all the all the great ones. And Rick, Rick Hell is there making small talk with James because is that your speaker?

He goes, yeah, I have the same one. You're my god, that's crazy. I can't believe you two ever broke up. So Rick Hell meets Charlie for the first time. And Charlie's like, oh my god, how's it dating James? Like, how's the group been? Tell me everything. Pasta, no pasta. Not for this big deal, just, you know, and now he's like, well, if it's good, I don't see why anyone else shouldn't be okay with it. Yeah. And, um, Amber Kells, like, I see a lot of myself in you. And like,

I know you're happy in this relationship and of course, of course you're gonna learn the lesson that you'll need to learn because he's a terrible monster who's kind of abusive and controlling. Yeah, that's all good. What a fucking rude thing to say to someone. You're gonna learn, you're gonna learn a lesson

you need to learn in your own time. Oh, well, you first. Yeah. Yes. I think also hilariously, Brock, it's like, hi, you don. Yeah. Yes. Ding. Also hilariously, Brock is like, hi, I don't want to throw around the football. So he takes the football and shorts like, I want to. And James is like, oh, the man, I throw around the football. So Brock is the only one who has any sort of athletic quality in him. So he's like throwing the ball. And just

like, Tom's like, oh, I can't, like, missing the ball. They can't throw it back. The ball hits James in the face. Oh, I'm on my face. Not before the imagined fest. Not as a ball from the face. Yeah, they're hopeless, these guys. So then Lala arrives with Katie and their men.

And she's like, oh my god, who brought the tent? Thank you. And Troy's just like, hey, everybody, hi guys. And it goes up to them. And they're just looking at him. And he is like, hey everybody, hi guys. And it goes up to them and they're just looking at him. And he tells us, I mean, maybe it's domesticistic, but I ran like a mental scan of Venn Katie could date and Satchel wasn't really one of them. And he's like, hi, Satchel.

Hi, Katie. You guys good? Or how's that going for you? They just ignore him. Yeah, just fully ignore him. So, uh, shorts, shorts like, you know, I had a moment of thinking of like, Sasha waking up in the bed and the dogs were cruddling and listen, you can have all the sex you want, but don't bring the dogs into the bed.

So, uh, and she says the lazy, the, she says the, she not used to thing of all she goes, I need to get as much sun as I can right now before my laser apartment tomorrow. Excuse me. Yeah, the last day I can get sun before the laser. So, so that she does that talking to Santa. She's like, um, so I had drinks with Alan this place that has like freesky ball Monday. So like, soft out. And like last week, Alan did like a girls girls night with like, Lola and Katie and like, Christina Kaltley.

And I guess they like, they like, talked about like, how afterwards they're like, all, what like, they saw you like, go to the appy together and then we're gonna dance and saying. And then like, Rick, and then Katie was like, oh yeah, it's like, no big deal, because they don't have rules. They have like an open relationship

and they put everyone on the block. So like, what do you think about that? And he's like, well, you know, it's funny to see that because I'm like, oh my god, dude, like, they hatred towards like Rick Kowl. Just, oh my God, you're going, like this far to throw sand upon Ariana under the bus, Katie. And he goes, exactly, like, we know everybody at the happy bro. I know. He's like, yeah, this would not be where I have a secret rendezvous. He goes, it's annoying that Katie would say something like that.

It's insulting to not just me, but Ariana as well. And Rakell and I weren't dancing in the corner of some speak-easy. I mean, a bunch of us went to the abbey. And two of those people happened to be Rakell and I, who happened to be having an affair. But that's besides the point. Well, people say, should I about your relationship? But it pissed me off that Katie said, she didn't use this term. But she said, basically, you should I about your relationship? I'm like, it pisses me off that Katie said, like, she didn't use this term,

but she said, like, basically, you guys have an open relationship. And he's like, that is the most ridiculous thing ever, but if it is true, I wanted to ask you, and Brock, maybe you want to come over when he really wants to get back. So meanwhile, James is, uh, they're pouring pouring tequila and James is like, no, no, no, I'll have to go to Mexico. They're like, really? They're going to Mexico. I was like, no, I'm sorry. I only drink tequila in Mexico. I have to go to Mexico to drink tequila. They're like, okay. And she's like, yeah, I meant to know. I thought you were saying that you had to go like, do you, Jan Mexico? He's like, no, no, no. I'm going to imagine, bro. I'm going to Atlanta to imagine,

bro, okay? Because I'm going to flop in, flop out, you know, I'm going to open for cascade. I'm sure all you people know who cascade is, anyone. Raise your hand if you know who cascade is, anyone? Yeah, that's a big deal, right? Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,

right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, no, that cascade and shorts is like, this is a big deal, right? Is it bigger than Richella? And it's like done, done, done, done, done, run, road, which is a really shitty thing to say. And so James is like, oh, wow, what a funny joke. Swalt.

Like, okay, bad joke, bad joke. Yeah, it was a terrible joke. Let me remind you of the darkest time you went through last year. Let me remind you the darkest time that I made someone pay $40,000 for last year and then let's put the same sentence with the happiest thing that you've ever done opening up fuck ass game you don't like it or imagine if I said a poor party how could you do that to me? what a dumb-minded piece of fuck would say

stop it like that and so you get starts getting yourself more and more worked up and it goes it is a big thing sure cuz no no you told me about it And I'm so I'm hyped for you, bro. He's like no shut the fuck up dude shut the fuck up. You're not hyped for me He's telling us a little jokes when you look at your own life Look at I'll make I don't make jokes about your life look at you and because like for us from anguish warts is live He doesn't even open the shitty bar on the corner of Silverlake Pitpole Village and by the way... Hahaha!

Hahaha! By the way, you're just talking about my festival, which I've worked a hard time to get to and I've talked about all the dates and all the edits that I'm making and it's as big as Vichela. Oh, hilarious! And you bring up my own proposal here when I brought everyone together at the beach. I've invited everyone here at the beach. Me, we're sitting close to the trash can because of me. It was a bad joke like my career.

And James is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hilarious. Go make another fucking joke. And it takes us. James stop. You just hear it, Ali going, James stop And it picks up as drinking throws it in Tom's face

Yeah, I make another hilarious fucking joke Doo James And jimmy feelings every single time I see you What was your paper? Oh, yeah, you did it rock and rock and riley It's a fucking borrowed sunset you fucking dead Fuck off mates it fucking at rock and riley's a fucking ball and sunset you fucking dead fuck off me Charlie's like okay, well, I guess that's that and Lala the queen of telling everybody off in public really is like

Oh, wow, this is fun. So So Charlie goes to get in the water and Schwartz is mad now and he's like James if you ever do that again It's not gonna be good for you man this is my Tommy about homie okay and James like oh really what are you gonna do what are you gonna do fat man what are you making jokes about me that by the way I was just joking when I wrote that and then shorts goes I'll put you in a head like and James actually goes oh yeah let's see fat boy let's see but me and I had lock and I'll get out of it in two seconds because you're not faster all stronger than me

as a football hitter in the face again from Brock. So then James is like, where until you see these videos, what do you see the crap fought with me at the poo part, I fought with Cascade. And then he goes, the now at least matches. He's like, I've asked him since Mexico if he's like good If he's good if he's mad with Schwartz and he's like is he mad Schwartz?

He's always like no, I'm not mad Schwartz. They're great like but then to have like one little comment It's like I think I've been like so trusting that everything he says he means and he's moved on and is ready But like it's hard to believe it when you see actions like this. Like, get over it or don't get over it and then don't have a girlfriend. Cause all I'm seeing are red flags and you know what I do when I see red flags? I ignore them. And James is like, I don't wanna get jokes about Richella,

especially when you're hanging out with her and she's your new best friend. And Santa Claus is like, James, why are you so insecure about it? Don't be that way. It's like, I don't want it compared to my stupid engagement. All right, and I wish I could take that engagement back anyway.

I wish I could take it back stupid. And it comes like, it wasn't stupid. It was the best party Thomas ever thrown me. Thank you, Tom. Yeah, it's about to be like, I wish I could take it all back. I'm like, yes, all that money that you spent and you're engaged all that effort Do not make for your own

proposal or party or whatever So sand of all is like like well as like it's because the two of you acts like a damn fool that her weddings and Sand of all is like you got too soon Now it's a lot of so says, you acted a damn fool. Like okay. Yeah, Vlala, so she's, yeah, so we're gonna kill. It's like, oh shut the fuck up, Sandevault. Wait, she doesn't say that.

No, that must be the lie. Vlala's, yeah, Vlala's basically like saying, you know, because shorts is like, well I thought it was funny, I stand by my joke. And Sandevault's based like, look, there were two, there were single and there were together and Lala goes, I have a hard time thinking Ariana would be fine with you, make out with Christina Kelly.

And maybe just too close for homes. And Santa was like, well, I believe in me and Ariana broke up. I'd be like, Hey, Ariana, make out with whoever you want. Like, if you want to make out with shorts, do it. Just you know what I believe that on that? I believe, you know what I do believe you on that because you were bumping Peepies with Ariana when you were withing Peepies with Ariana when you were with Christens.

So yeah. Then we get a great flashback. Now we have a flashback of like, I don't know, season two or three, where Sandevol is talking to Stassi and he goes, me and Ariana made out in a pool at the Golden Nugget. Yes. And Stassi goes, the Golden Nugget.

That's a lot of love. Yeah, that's a lot of love. Is that you, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I love. He's like, he fucking kidding me, I love that place. So then Tom reminds us, I forgot about this part, and someone posted a clip which I love, like the full clip of this, when he's like, well yeah, I want me and Kristen broke up, she was fucking James and my fucking apartment.

And I forgot that. At Kristen's like, I revenge on Tom by fucking James and the clip was of Tom at the reunion going, oh yeah, what James was like, my bro and like, he's a musician and like, we were gonna have a band together. We were gonna like do everything together and that was like my dream. And then you took that for me, Kristen. Okay. like do everything together and that was like my dream. And you took that for me, Christian. Okay, great.

Dana. The sorted histories of these people. And it's just such a mess. It's crazy. I mean, the amount of places that people have affairs in like people's apartments, like Jack's is in faith as a part of his apartment with like an old lady in the next door.

Oh, the old lady is a part of me. And they fought right in front of her when faith was supposed to be taking care of the old lady. Everything, nothing makes sense. And so, Santa was like, you know, it was dude, let's get back to this. It was a joke. It was a bad joke.

He didn't mean anything by it, dude. And James was like, fine, let's move on. My bad, I think he just shakes his hands. Yeah, I guess, I didn't mean anything by it. He goes, okay, then I didn't mean to throw a drink in your face, then. Hand shake. I forgot this part at the reunion when Tom goes. I've known James longer than Kristen and what does she do?

She starts binging this guy on my bed with my condoms and better pumps like oh Darling We're just classics shit right there So they make up and shorts is like It was a little too soon and I was just trying to you know like I don't know dig into my own awkwardness I guess but if you look at him in Rekal like to break up his fresh and lala's like can we scoth this is not like in that sentence construction there. Let's go the time so Now Charlie's asking James if he's okay and James are you good? Are you good? He's asking Ali that and like goes

Oh, I'm good. I'm how about asking I'm sorry. She's like He's like I'm good. How about asking if I'm okay? And she's like I don't need to ask if you're okay because you're, I know you're not okay I guess. Oh Ali, you keep on squinting like you're like soon on my soul about this. Ali. She's like, what the fuck? You're a crazy person. Yeah, she's like, yeah, I'm all I'm totally like yeah, I'm uncomfortable for her You just can't throw drinks in people's faces, you know, and he's oh well, maybe next time we hang out you won't make a Stupid joke fat people telling you and Alex like the way you acted was a joke and then there's silence and Charlie's like

well I got a skidattle okay that's a part of Ellie and gonna sell itself gotta go to work so then Christina I guess La La has been texting Christina like that's to the bar's great smell but Christina who by the way, looking, reading through between the lines, she does not like hanging out with Katie and Lala Solo because she kept them trying at the wedding to escape them and join them for the rest of the party. She wanted to watch the wedding.

She went to every, she told she, there's nothing wrong, we had nothing bad. Can I come to your events? So now, Christina then tells everyone to go to the bar, which is apparently not what Katie wanted, because they all go to this bar, and Katie's like, I wasn't expecting everyone to show up. Like, we left the bar to escape them,

and now Christina brought the entire gang. I was like, I don't think Christina wants to hang out with you. And Katie's like, Lala, do you want to share something? Cause I'm not trying to share with anyone over there. And by the way, they're all sitting around in like this, like they're sitting in like this nook or like in a section. And they're all like next to each other. And Satjil is like crammed up. He's just like, he's like folded into a paper clip.

And he's just like, hey, Satjil, what's going on? They're basically sitting in a semi circle. And he's like, I'm not sharing with them. Gross. And shorts is like, hey guys, hi, sad. And he just dares blankly. Katie is like, um, hi, I already said hi to you earlier. And he says, well, you don't have to put on this air Katie.

She says, it's not an error. I already told you, I don't fuck with you. It's like a cod. You're so tough. And it's like the little Lala game. I'm like, I don't fuck with you. Tom Schwartz. And he's like, I support his first word. I was on to that grudge. Surely holds on to that grudge, huh? I'm so happy. I'm not with her. I'm so happy I'm not with Katie. Good God. I don't miss her in any shape or

form. Yeah. Seems like it. You don't seem bothered at all, Schwartz. Well, you just wanted to, you just wanted to annoy her. You just wanted to pass her. And she's like, I'm not going to fall for this anymore. You don't, like I'm just, she's not giving him any access and he's going nuts. He can't stand, he can't play his games. So Katie then turns to Satchel and she goes, you know, it's not revenge or payback.

I'm just like living my life how I want to live it by bringing a very, very quiet, weird-el, shallower maid to this bar who looks scared and confused and wants to go back to Echo Park. I'm living at how I want to live in animal prints, literally in every scene. So, Raquel comes with Schwartz and James to the bar, okay, and they're all getting shots. And Schwartz is like, that was a lame ass joke. James, I apologize. And James is like, I don't want to talk about it in front of Raquel. And so Raquel walks off. She's like, fine. And he's like, it's not even about Raquel.

It's just that for once I was someone that the script would be happy for me instead of throwing these low-blow digs in my face. And James says, it's not funny, you know? I mean, this is humongous deal for me. And then he starts crying. He's like, I mean, it's just like, that one little sucker, I'm so happy. Like, I imagine the Imagine Festival coming up and you're gonna throw me to the end of my face. What is it? Yeah, honestly. That is gonna cry.

Such words goes, I can be callous, but I am a nice fucking guy. And Lala's like, Lala is now there. She goes, what are you guys talking about? And shorts is like, oh, I made a cheap joke and he was a little callous, but I'm a nice guy and James goes, unacceptable, back me up Lala, back me up. And so she's like, yes, I agree with you,

but also no butts, no butts allowed. And shorts goes, he threw a drink in my face, like we're even now. But it's allowed and Schwartz goes he threw a drink in my face like we're even now And It's just like evens you need a fist in your face, bro 100% I have a lot of feeling storage shorts for him having hanging out with Randall Emmett For him kissing Rick health when Katie made it clear so that it would affect her I stood through his whole bass at home. Hey fingers in my mouth. I fingers in my mouth. I can't talk. Fuck you, dudes.

And so she tells them, you know what? Talking to you is like talking to a farm animal. And sure it's just like, Lala, you are the personification of a sponsored post. You are the corneus human being in this entire place. Give them Lala. Who the fuck is Lala? I'm a thousand times the human being. You'll ever be. So like the real shorts is coming out now.

Yeah. Like the dick shorts where he's like, I'm a nice guy. And he just like goes in and so nasty. Yes, but my God, the personification of a sponsored post is the funniest thing to I said. Yeah. And so she's like, Oh, yeah, open subar and then I'll be impressed with you. And go get some potox and plastic surgery. You don't even know you are,

you don't know who you are. And he sucks off. Because I mean, let me I hate to I hate to be the one to say this, but I, for the first time this season, I can say you're both right. Okay. You're both right. They were, they were really, I mean, I, I, I did, I found that Lala, when she said that talking to you was like talking to a farm animal, that definitely made me L.O.L. when he said you're like a sponsor post that made me L.O.L.L. But I was like, oh, you're good. But then when he starts saying like, go get some more plastic surgery with your stupid face, whatever. I was like, ooh, that's, you're gonna lose now.

So Lala is like, let me break something down for you real quicks, okay? Call me when you have a business. Like I used to say before, and Shor's goes, I don't care. I don't like you. You're broke. You're a fucking loser.

You're 40 years old. Look at yourself. It's like, you're Gwarni. You're so fucking angry and bitter. I don't even want to know you. You're a bootleg housewife. Look at your lips. She's like, okay, come at me with a better line. This shit that I've been doing one year, bro. It would have put you in your grave. Okay, don't you dare come from my business. That shit pays for my daughter every single fucking day.

Of course. Well, Lala is stood up too and so she doesn't know what to do. This is always what happens. Lala tries to go for you and then when you stand up to her, she gets completely flummoxed, okay? And she starts turning it around. Don't you dare come for my business. Nobody came for your business. He did not say one thing about your business.

And then she makes it about her child. Then he makes it about her child. Then he makes it about her child. And that's what pays for my daughter every single day. Yeah. So it's like, you're a great mom. You're a great, she starts laughing because he's like not even believing what he's saying. You're a great mom. So then he just starts eating a chicken wing. So he's like,

God, these wings are good. So he says that he realizes that he's always had a's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he Lala how it's worded. This is the text. You're cut, dude. Spent time with Rand. Very hurt and disappointed. I love that. You're cut.

Oh, it's personal trust me, but you couldn't even get on your own wife's teams. How could I expect you to be on mine? I'm good on you. I don't associate with weakness. So she yeah,, so this works as like, she just seems like a very one dimensional human being. Like, she doesn't even know who Lala is and stand of all. It's like, it's not even a real name. Like, there's a start, like, with a therapist. Like, you are building Rick Kelle right now though.

So yeah, you are building a girl named Rachel. Right now. You know that, right? Did you know that you had to buy the queue? Okay. So then Lala's like, your acts is so fucking out of lines talking about my face, calling can be corny. Well, let me know when you have a business I can walk into and order something you fucking

losers. I mean, they're really taking great pot shots at each other. So then meanwhile, James has like a scorpion bowl, which is, you know, one of the tropical drinks where there's like, it's like a little volcano, it's a big wide bowl, with a little volcano on the top, and usually they put one, one, uh, one 51 in the middle and they light it on fire, it's a whole thing.

So James is there, they've got the long straws, and he's like, well, I wonder what it's in here. What, what, what that is? Is it one 51? I don't know, he's just like talking, whatever. Is that Christian to Kelly? I fade you drink the middle and he's like Oh with the straws

The straw flips out and flicks some one fifty or what he thinks is one fifty-one into his eye and he starts Scream me No He's like, oh, not before, no defense, he's like, look at me, Katsca, he didn't look at me. He's saying to me, I was like, oh, well, 151 in your eye, wash it out, bro. Let me go, add her, add her.

I know. I know. And he runs out, he gets up and he runs the bathroom and trips and falls over into the bathroom. Like blinded, oh my God. He's crying, he's like crying in the bathroom. And the waitress comes over and they're like, oh my god, what's in the middle is that 150 went. And she goes, well, typically the middle part is just for decor. And Ali goes, oh my god, I knew it.

He's screaming in there like he got 150 went in his eye. Oh, James is telling us, I mean, that was the most painful thing of all time. I mean, I really set myself up, I threw a drink at Tom, and now I got this poison, this burning poison, I said in my eyeball. So we come back. Then, Alex, it was water, James, because it was 151 in the middle. Yes, she said it was decor. Oh, yeah, well, I'm not a pussy. Oh, and yeah, I heard you laughing, Lola. Oh yeah, well I'm not a pussy. Oh, and yeah, I heard you laughing, Lola. Hell, he's like, no one wants to watch you make a fool of yourself and no one's enjoying a James. Come on. James's like, fine, sit down. I'm sitting down even though I don't

have an eyeball anymore. I should like, yeah, please, just sit down and shut up. And everyone's like, oh my god, Lola goes, what the fuck's this in the air today? The beaches chaotics? This is chaotics. Wow. Hey Lala, can I ask you a question? Have you ever heard of freeze? Yeah, have you ever heard of free skibble on Monday nights? Because guess what? I found a place that has that.

Also, if I, okay, here's a pure theoretical, it's not based on anyone we know. If a good friend of yours ever thought Oliver was cute and vagus, and if they said, oh, and if that ever said, oh, I'm separated, would you tell your good friend I give you the green light, or would you say to your friend, maybe ask more questions, just a theoretical. And Lala's like, I don't think see where in the wrong with that at all. You're a normal person, Rikals. People tell you things and you believe them.

They're women that are mistresses and home records and you are not ones. It's like, okay. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, right, this second, to my knowledge. To my knowledge, even though actually you are actively being a mistress right now. So, Rickel's like, Katie, the thing I want to address is with you and Katie gets what?

She's like, well, I don't think that James is like, I'm moving away from this. Me and my blind, me and my blind one are, I'm going to find a pirate patch somewhere. All right, someone needs me. So, he moves and Rickel's like, I don't think they a pirate patch somewhere. All right, someone needs me. So he moves, Emmerkel's like, I don't think they're making out with someone, it makes me a whore. Well, I was very clear about it, and I gave you an opportunity to prove to me

that you weren't that person. And then I was like, oh! So like, do we got to prove things to you now? No. This is another moment where it's like, okay, I so agree with him in that way. Like, why does someone have to prove to you that they're not a horde, Katie? Like, she just makes me nuts.

But then Tom sanded up all of such a fucking peg and he's cheating on his girlfriend right now. It's like, the show is breaking me down, man. Yeah, it's breaking me down. It's two timelines at once that we have to process and it's like, it's very difficult. So Katie is like, shut the fuck up Tom. And he's like, Ariana is not very happy with you right now.

She's not happy. Okay, first of all, she found out that my sperm are not hot, and that's like very disappointing. But also, you know what she said? You know exactly what she's, you know what you said? You know exactly what you said, Katie, okay? And you know what you didn't say too, okay? And she's like, I don't fucking care, Tom.

She's like, shut up. He's like, yeah, because apparently, me and Rick Hell went to the Abbey and that's like a secret raw day, man. And all I guess, well, Ali thought it was weird that you were together and she brought it up. And so production asked Tom

if anything physical has ever happened with him and Raquel and he's like no No literally his low his upper lip is curled under You can see his whole row of teeth and mustache. That's all you see like no If you had put him on like a little floaty dinghy He could have powered it across the Atlantic because his, I'm sure his foot was going like, in rotation, so if I say, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr between like what? Between what happened? Between there I have a lot of ellipses in the sentence. Yeah.

So SantaVal's like, all right, let's ring Allen in here then. And kiddy's like, okay, Ali, so what did I say to you that was interpreted, that I said they have an open relationship. And Ali's like, well, I said that I told you I saw Rick Kell and SantaVal to Abby. Right.

And I said, are they alone? Yeah. And I said alone and they were dancing.. And I said alone. And they were dancing. And all I remember you saying is, if it's not public knowledge, they don't care. And Katie just scrunches her face. And I totally believe this. I believe this 100% Yeah. I believe it was probably true. I believe they probably did have that kind of relationship to some point. You know, Katie is like, I was trying to explain to her that Tom and Ariana don't keep each other on leashes. They don't have rules for each other about going out and stuff like that.

And I totally, I don't think that Katie is backtracking. I think she 100% meant that and they all spun this, well, it's because it was James who spun this out, right? Because Allie just repeated it. So Katie is like, but that being said, my opinion of her health could not be lower. I mean, if Tom and Ariana do have an open relationship, Ariana knows nothing about it. Yeah.

And by the way, I'm not saying, I believe, oh, they have an open relationship. But there are different kinds of relationships and different kinds of rules, okay? It doesn't mean you go out and have a fucking affair with someone's one of their best friends. You know, I think what she's saying is they're not like super codependent, like Tom can go off and do his thing. One, like Ariana can be one place. Tom can be

in another place and they don't, they don't, they're, they're chill about it. It's not like we're, no, I don't take it that way. I think what, because what she says, Katie said, Katie didn't argue with. She scratched her face, but she did not deny it. And what she says Katie said Katie didn't argue with she scratched her face But she did not deny it and what she said was if it's not public knowledge, they don't care Which means like I guess like a little flirtation or a little kiss here and there or a little something Somewhere is fine as long as it's they're not embarrassing each other because that is kind of the terms of most relationships Like at least some might experience Yeah, but that said even if it was, you still don't have the right to go bang your girlfriends. I want it for best friends. You fuck.

Yeah. I think either way, I don't think that whatever, whatever it was that Katie was saying, I don't think Katie was saying, oh, they have her open relationship and they're just like sleeping around with whoever, you know, like I think that Katie was just saying, like they have a chill relationship in terms of like what, like they don't have, they're not on a leash, like she said. So I just don't think that what Katie said was, nearly as scandalous as James spun it out to be. So Katie is like,

Well, Allie, spun it out. Allie, but then James added to it too, right? Cause James is like, oh, they have it. Well, but how do you take it? If somebody says, oh, they obviously have it. That's how he'd take it. If somebody says, oh, you saw him dancing with someone at one in the morning in a club. Oh, that's okay. They don't really have rules in their relationship.

I would take it as like, oh, they don't have a rule. He's not allowed to be dancing with a girl while they're low. Like, I wouldn't take it. I wouldn't take it as far as open relationship necessarily. It also depends on the context. I think if someone said they don't have rules, but they sort of give me like that, like an air quote look on their eyes, then I'd be like, oh, I see what you're saying. But I just think, I believe, I guess what I'm saying is that when Katie explains what she says, I don't think that Katie is trying to backtrack and like clean up what she meant. I feel like Katie was like this is all I meant and they they spun it out. Oh yeah, I think she's trying to

backtrack. So um sand devils Katie is like well whenever Tom has any print oh because oh god because now sand devils going off okay. So sand devils like you Katie you don't take a gun at a bloody ever and the truth is, when you and Schwartz broke up, Schwartz would be like, I'm sad we broke up. I'm like, here's what I did wrong here and here. But you, you talk about it. You're like, I would love with no choice. It's like fucking hard. I'm breaking up. What are you doing? What is it talking about? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? You're hearing her about. Yeah. Allie's the one who said that she saw you and the Allie's the one telling everyone What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? her relationship, that's not your fucking business, and you're sitting here trying to make it like, your relationship is not a fair business,

but then you're such a fucking- But also like, and the- And the- And the screaming all the time. And the same episode where he's like, Ariadah's like always coming at me, and he's literally screaming at Katie in public about that something that he has,

no, he has, it's not any of his business, and also his point doesn't really make sense, that Tom, I guess he's trying to say that, oh, Tom is taking account saying he fucked up and that Katie is acting like I was left in the nose. But Katie was left in no choice. Tom is a shitty, shitty husband, terrible husband and she had to like, she had to dump them so she can move on with her life and find someone who looks like weird al who at least treats

her well, you know. So Katie is like, well, whenever Tom has any pressure applied to him, this is his go to. He deflects and says, well, what about you? You're never responsible for anything. It's very manipulative, which truth. So he's like, I mean, I fuck up all the time and I tell Ariana all the time I fuck up.

So I take responsibility. And you know what? And he stands up and he's like, you shouldn't be with somebody for who you want them to be. You should be with them for who they fucking are. And that's what's up. I was like, okay, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much.

Thanks so much. Thanks so much. Thanks, that's why Katie left Tom, by the way. I don't know if you heard about this, but Katie served Tom to force papers because she realized that that's who Tom was and she didn't want to be with that. So thanks for this news flash.

And Katie is like, that's profound. You should be a philosopher. It should get a life. Like bitch, get a life. And he just walks off on that. And he's like, oh. That's a wild episode. And if you have all this stuff, the latest stuff of him,

you know, after all that mirror of all stuff from last week, the latest is him like wandering around the desert in Arizona, but saying that he's not there for Raquel because even though Raquel's family is there, he's not just there for her. He's just there to like find himself. And so he's going up to like Rando's who are hiking and they're like, oh, hey Tom.

And he's like, hey, yeah, hey, why don't you take a picture and say like, you're, look, he's not with Raquel. He's just here alone. I'm thinking those are the screenshots people are putting on Reddit. It just sounds like so Tom, just be wandering around. Like, dude, let's prove something on Instagram. Sad. And also, by the way, we didn't mention the fact

that when he's sitting here screaming about how, excuse me, he makes mistakes all the time and that he takes responsibility, he always owns off to what he's accountable. I'm like, what about that how he manned L podcast? What about that was an example of accountability? That's what he means. It is him taking accountability,

because he kept saying, oh bro, I'm not saying it's right what I did, what I did was fucked up, but I would make her dumpling lattes every day and she didn't even care. It I did, what I did was fucked up. But I would make her dumpling lattes every day and she didn't even care. It's like, what he did was wrong, but everything was justified because he was abused by not having

his dumpling lattes appreciated enough. I have to say, I think he was saying double lattes, but I love the idea of dumpling lattes. Like, oh, he's my dumpling lattes. I think he's saying dumpling lattes because he calls for dumpling. Really? That's his blah blah.

He's like, hey dumpling. Have you never known this? Dumpling lattes. Yeah, he calls for dumpling. Well, maybe I've gone dumpling. I don't know. I could be both. The dumpling latte could actually be a double.

Who knows? Lot of nuances. So anyway, that's the end of the episode. That was a crazy episode. So thanks everyone for being here and listening. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.

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