Watch What Crappens - #210: Vibe and Stir

Episode Date: August 11, 2015

Ben Mandelker (bsideblog, Banter Blender) and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) talk girl code (the RHOC version) again and how to stir the pot the way Jesus woulda did. Then it?s off to Atlanta to watch the sophisticated professionals duke it out over stripper/john protected privacy and the meaning of submitting to your man. Join us! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ronnie on Tumblr: http://trashtalktvrecaps.tumblr.com/ Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is sponsored by Casper. Get $50 towards any mattress purchase by visiting www.casper.com slash crappins and using promo code crappins. The podcast. The problem. Nothing wrong with Bravo. Watch what crap.

Watch what crap. Who cares? What happens when there's so much that crap. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens.

Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens. Happens.ppens was brought to you by premium subscribers Claudia Catalina and Christy Doherty. We love you girls. Now on to the show. Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast. A podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo.

podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV, and with me is the lovely, talented, thin, and dancer-versed Ben Maboker. I am dancer-versed. And I also woke up like 90 minutes ago, and I'm just having one of those days where I'm sleepy, so my voice, I feel like my voice sounds extra deep and gravelly today. Yeah, I like it.

Hey, everyone. But I have with me a tall, not a tall, but like a large iced coffee, not from Starbucks, but from Tiago, which is the coffee shop, the nice coffee shop that's around the corner. And their iced coffee is like jet fuel. So everyone buckle your seats because we're about to take off tiago fontigo baby why don't we go to the muda i don't know i guess they would have good coffee there if tom tom cruise was getting everybody drunk all the time yeah he is he is he is tossing up and flipping all those bottles of iced coffee. Peter's brew. So thank you guys so much for listening to the show.

Thank you for everybody who's supporting us. Thanks to our premium subscribers. Holler! If you want to be a premium subscriber and you don't want to spend a zillion dollars, you can do that too. Just come over to patreon.com slash watchwhatcrappens. That's patreon.com slash watchwhatcrappens. And there you can get all our bonus content. We do a bonus episode every week.

This week's will be on Thursday. And Google Hangouts and all kinds of good stuff. We're both completely crazy today, so we should be fine. Yeah, this is going to be a crazy episode. I can only tell. I know. I don't know what the hell is going on today. kinds of good stuff we're both completely crazy today so we should yeah fine also it's gonna be a crazy episode i can only tell i don't know what the hell's going on today um also come to our facebook page facebook.com slash watch it crappens and talk some shit with all the other listeners because uh this shit is hilarious i don't even go to very many other housewife sites anymore because it's all here so So thank you, everybody.

Yeah, and you know what? We've suddenly had this cool micro-trend happening on our Facebook page where parents are posting videos of their toddlers in the car going, David, David, David, David. We have like two or three of those videos that have been posted on our wall, and it's really funny.

So thank you. Thank you to those of you who have posted those been posted on our wall, and it's really funny. So thank you. Thank you to those of you who have posted those. We've seen them, and they make us chuckle. They're so funny. There's one that we got a few months ago of a little baby going, Crappins. Crappins.

Well, the latest one is from Rina Crumley Rogers. Did I say that right? Rina? Rihanna? And it's her three-year-old going, David! David! I can't approximate the voice because as listeners of Thursday's episode may remember, I had a

violent sneeze that hurt my throat and my throat is still hurting. And so I can't make certain voices now until it heals itself. Well, that's okay. We have easy ones today. Okay, good's okay. We have easy ones today. Okay, good. First is Shannon. Basically, we're just going to do Shannon for two hours and then add some

Quad in there for good measure, I'm sure. Because Quad had a beautiful week this week. Oh, she certainly did. And so did Megan King Edmonds. I thought we were going to be able to work things out with Megan King Edmonds, but I don't know. I'm going to have to see now.

I'm reevaluating. Reevaluate. Before we talk about Megan King Edmonds, we have a lot of gossip that has also been brought to you by Megan King Edmonds. Oh, my God. Let's do it. Okay. So in no particular order, first things first, big update on Yolanda Foster's Lyme disease. Turns out she doesn't have Lyme disease.

Turns out she has leaky boobs. Oh, well, you know, Ben, if you'd read this with some sensitivity, she still has chronic Lyme disease. Oh. But it was exacerbated by the saline that was leaking out of her 80s tits.

Saline, bad. That's from the 80s, but it's also from group surgeries and stuff. When Tamara got her boob job on Orange County, she's like, yeah, saline. I was like, good luck with that, Lyme's. Good luck, Lyme's.

Yeah, so she has a whole mess going on. And to show her struggle, Yolanda posted a photo of herself naked behind a towel with some markings because I guess she got her boobs taken out. So, oh, the struggle of Yolanda. She would like to thank David. I have to thank my love, David, for supporting me

during this boob crisis. To think as a child that I would grow up and be rich and flat chested. I never saw it coming. So thank you, David. I want to thank my love, David, for having the idea of making breasts

that did not have saline or silicone in them. That is such a wonderful idea and will help so many young mothers out there in the future. Thank you, my love. We just took cufflinks off of the five tennis

from the basement and then we put them in a sack and now that's in me. You know, my love. We just took cufflinks off of the five tenors from the basement and then we put them in a sack and now that's in me. You know, it's hard to go through airlines, but you know, we have our own anyway. So whatever, terrorist, I am not scared of you. Thank you, David, my love. My favorite part about a dinner party is when we all gather around the piano and put things into

my boobs and then take them out. You know, when things got really bad and i would sit there and i would cry and i would cry david would come to me and he would comfort me with this one little phrase at least you're not the other one and i would say you know thank you david thank you my love thank you my love is that a reference to anwar anwar my my love that's bella bella is the other one that's right be Bella is the other one. That's right.

Bella is the other one, and Anwar doesn't even have a name. Who is Anwar anyway? The other one number two. Is that the man selling Little Mermaid blankets down on the corner? Anwar? You know, this Lyme stuff is really interesting lately, believe it or not, because it's one of those popular diseases. Everyone has Lyme now.

And no one is really arguing with Lyme. No one ever has. The argument is with chronic Lyme. And I think the AMA. Okay, now this is why I will never be on the news. The American Music Awards? The Latin Grammys, you guys, has just decided. I want to thank my love, David, for bringing the AMAs into this.

Thank you so much for your power in the music industry. A mammogram. It's important for you, okay? It's just a hint. A grammy is short for mammogram. You know, David would get a grammy gram because he has so many grammys that it makes him tired all day and nobody can figure out why.

He can't even watch TV if he's not on it david's favorite cereal is honey grams they remind him of his grammys at my mammograms uh anyway they i think it's the american medical association yeah it came out with some decision that's very controversial about chronic l's because it can't really be defined. And so they've come out with a definition that's basically like if you get headaches, if you get tired, if you don't have energy in the middle of the day, if you're bleeding out of your face. It's like huge things and then really small things so basically anybody can have chronic slimes or chronic limes now and there's no really argument against it or no proof so brooks next time you need a disease sick with lime yeah there ain't no karma san diego no one's gonna be looking for that disease okay yeah exactly um so how I'm talking already. It's only five minutes. I'm like, karma San Diego.

Karma, nah, nah, nah. You know we're talking about Kim later. And by the way, I just want to add that to support this thesis that Yolanda's boobs are what have been inflaming her chronic Lyme disease. She took a picture of herself holding a book called The Naked Truth about breast implants from harm to healing. And the picture is her sitting with the book and she has glasses on to show that she's been reading and that she's educated about the topic now. And it's just like the strangest, like, why would you take a picture of yourself reading

the book? This is what I was talking about. I'm educating myself now. I am learning. I am a warrior about this cause. Limes can do a lot to me, but it cannot take away my reading glasses from CVS. I bought them, damn it! Don't you remember we talked about this in our live show?

You probably blacked it all out. But this, because i'm obsessed with yolanda's instagram i have been ever since it was first pointed out to me by another evil listener and um i'm obsessed with it and she graduated from her posing in shoes to her fake posing her fake disease pictures like that one where she was with her kid acting like she was being carried up the street and then from his instagram there's a different profile or a different angle and she's like laughing and smiling um so yeah that was one of my favorite of all times was her posing with this book like implants falsies or realities limes she's like i'm reading and i'm not wearing any makeup so I don't want anybody to think this is a model read. It is a real person reading a book.

I know. It's just, it is so self-serving, Yolanda. Well, her thing of getting on Beverly Hills, David always said, you know, she wants to do Beverly Hills because she has a platform. You know, that's her platform to discuss Lyme's disease because she wants a spinoff. I was like, what's a spinoff of Lyme's disease? It's like you're just watching some woman be tired all day and deciding not to wear makeup for the cause. Like, what the hell? Right.

Yeah. So another piece of gossip that we have. I'm trying to pull up who of you. Oh, here it is. It was, oh, Kels B. Red. Kels. Gave us this link. Kels.

Holler. From TMZ. Gave us this link. Tales. Holler. From TMZ. The rumor is that with Nene out of Atlanta, that the producers are making moves on Sheree to come back and Marlo Hampton. Oh, Marlo.

Good lord. I think Sheree is a good idea. I mean, they're handing her money. But, you know, we care about her. I want her to get money. I want Sheree back. I always felt like Sheree was unjustly pushed out because of Nene. I think she deserves to come back. Yeah, me too.

But Marlo? Marlo, no, no. She had her moment. She's done. No more Marlo. Another piece of casting news is that there's this woman, Erica Jane, who's joining the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She is, this is according to Reality Tea, she is a recording artist slash club performer

and is reportedly friends with David and Yolanda Foster. And something, she performs apparently a lot of gay things. It doesn't, darling. I know, seriously. I mean, all these Bravo stars know their audience. They just know they have to put out some very adequate dance track, and they're going to get booked in every gay club across the country. Well, here's the quote. Erica brings a young energy, and she has sex appeal.

Oh, she's dead. They're all going to hate her. Yeah. And does she have sex appeal? She looks like she's not that young, to be honest. Well, it's real half-size of Beverly Hills, but she's got that Botox eye where one eye is half closed yeah and then the other one's like open i'm sure she has like the one blinker so hey i'm all in and she's like struggling still with thigh gap like in this picture she's like i will have thigh gap it's like those are just really tight boots so

stop hurting yourself you're gonna lose your legs to bad circulation. Okay? Yeah, she's like a low-rent Kat Deely, basically. Yeah, and Kat Deely's already fairly low-rent. Isn't she like the co-host of So You Think You Can Dance? Or is she the host-host? Wow, she's so low-rent in your eyes that you've actually demoted her to co-host, which is the only one on there.

I've taken her back to American Idol days. She hosts with an invisible man. Ryan Dunkelman and Kat on there. She's like, back to American Idol days. She hosts with an invisible man. Ryan Dunkelman and Kat Daly. She's second fill to invisible Ryan Dunkelman. And so you're thinking in dance. Okay, so what would a day be? Oh, actually,

Real Housewife Carol Radziwill pens cookbook with boyfriend. Oh, Lord. That's bullshit. She doesn't even cook. She said so. I won't buy it. I refuse. How to turn on your desk so it will cook your food.

Because her office is in her kitchen. Getting a steno pad to make toast by Carol Radziwill. How to print your smoked salmon with your printer. Whatever. I can't do Carol voice either today, by the way. Penmanship. Well, how to print your smoked salmon with your printer and whatever. I can't do Carol voice either today, by the way. I like penmanship on a salmon. It's really going to be just like boil some fucking hot water and put it in some craft macaroni and cheese. Carol, get out of here with your young boyfriend.

Bring it over your honey farmer. Carol, I support you and your young boyfriend, but I don't support you writing a cookbook. So just stay out of that area. Maybe this is her ploy to get on the Food Network, because you know Food Network, all they do now is have celebrity chefs. It's like Trisha's kitchen, and Rev Run's

kitchen, and one of the Sister Sister Girls' kitchen, and Dwight Yoakam's kitchen, or something like that. By the way, I saw Dwight Yoakam in Target last night and he looks scary. Doesn't everybody in Target? Is it the lighting in that La Brea Target? Or is he legit?

It was at the La Brea Target. He was looking real, real scary. Dwight Yoakam looks scary anyway, but seeing him in person with his big gray David Crosby hair and bursting out, he was rummaging through the baggage aisle. I was like, please let Carol Radswell get a Food Network show. Now that you've said it, I'm not going to get that out of my head. Carol Radswell on the Food Network.

Yeah, it'll be called Slide, the Slide Kitchen. Welcome to my kitchen. Every episode she'll fall down while holding a plate because there are too many ping pong balls on the floor. Not been picked up. The best way to make eggs? In your

bra. Let him know that you may not be a spring chicken, but you can still burn some and look sexy doing it. Bye. You can make a chicken with spring peas. Here's some more gossip. This is funny gossip.

This is my last gossip item, and I know you have one. This is about Brandy Glanville. This is my last gossip item and I know you have one. This is about Brandi Glanville. So Brandi, as we know, she's been fired. Thank God. And since she's been fired, Jeff Lewis has now confirmed that the whole big dust up that they had on Watch What Happens a few months ago.

That it was not like a joke that they had planned on Andy that Brandy basically did freak out. She was freaking out, okay? Freaking out. Freaking out. She flipped the bitch. So now Brandy, according to a new tweet, Brandy is saying

that she thinks Jeff is continuing to bring up the past so he can use her to stay relevant. Use her to stay relevant? He still has a TV show. Yeah, he has a TV show, bitch. You're the one who's trying to stay relevant.

What are you talking about? And the show is about him. And he's like the person on the cover of the show. She goes, Not sure why certain people are talking about old news. Don't people have paint lines to promote? Hashtag, I don't lie. Hashtag, you actually to promote? Hashtag, I don't lie. Hashtag, you actually do lie.

So your hashtag, I don't lie, is a lie in and of itself. And second of all, you are the master of talking about old news. How about you erase your 50,000 tweets about Leanne and Eddie? Talk about old news. How about you getting mad at Lisa Vanderpump

because she employs Shana? How about that's old news. So why don't you go be quiet and how about this? Here's a one-way ticket to Shut Up Mountain, Brandy Glanville. Bought and paid for. Bye now. Yeah, yeah. Go get the gondola is waiting for you.

Just hop right on in and go to the top. See, isn't a gondola a boat? I'm so confused. A gondola is a boat, but it's also like a little circular thing that you can take to the top of. But there's so many words in the world. Can't we have different words for those two things? Why is one a boat

and then one is the thing that flies you up to the top of a mountain? They're not even similar. Because if you... You know why? You know why, Ronnie? Because if you had different words for different things, then all those thesaurus people would be out of work, okay? Let's not be out of there. Those spell checkers that work inside the

Mac would be totally boring. Now I'm looking at gondola to make sure I'm not using it incorrectly. Okay, so it is, okay, the correct definition of gondola is a light flat-bottomed boat used on Venetian canals, having a high point at each end and worked by one oar at the stem, or a cabin on at each end and worked by one oar at the stem.

Or a cabin on a suspended ski lift. Oh, God. Or an open railroad freight car. Well, don't listen to this show and say you didn't learn anything. Gondola actually sounds like the name of the next Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Like, have you met Gondola Price? She's joining the cast. Gondola Price.

It's around the cast. Gondola Price, it's around the corner. Yeah, she'll be the new one. Gondola Price owns a fabric store on Beverly Drive. Gondola Price, she's coming to the party tonight. Will she fly there or will she come in a boat? Who knows? I've heard so many things about Gondola price but one thing for sure is that she does not mince words you do not want to get on gondola price's bad side one thing i knew about

gondola you never know what she's gonna arrive in that girl will travel something different every time you hang out with her you actually have to take a funicular up to her house which is very off-brand her husband ashmo, works at Bejan, and he sells designer rings to Persians. Oh my god, I found an M&M in the couch. I'm so eating this. Hold on, I'm gonna do a slow suck, okay? You guys just know what's going on.

I think it's got cigarette ashes on it. Hold on, let me wipe it off. It's a blue one! A blue M&M! It's gonna be a good day! Thank you, David. I would like to thank David for the blue M&M I found in my couch. Totally eating it, too. Yay, being single. Dying alone. Oh.

Okay, so my thing, and yes, I'm going to suck an M&M while I tell you about it. Yeah, do it, darling. Suck it. Alright, Penny, I don't want packages of candy, alright? I just want one single blue round thing, alright? Charged with $30. $30 will revolutionize the industry, darling. Chef Penny, here's what we're going to do.

We're going to line everyone up into a pub. And we're going to tell everyone, tonight's special is M&M Tartare. We're going to toss a bunch of M&Ms with lemon juice and serve it to them in a martini glass. Isn't it amazing that lime juice cooks the M&M? It's revolutionary, Don. We're going to change the world with this one.

Don, isn't food science just absolutely amazing? Pandora, get on them. Make sure everyone has their salt and pepper shakers. No, Pandora, I don't want you studying food anymore. I'm sorry. Get Max. Get Max. Pandora, I demand a cover story on The Divine Addiction about this M&M tartar thing. Man, that Pandora...

Blow everyone away in the black sphere. Pandora will not stop studying food. I never should have given her this job. Sorry, gay husband. You're going to have to not touch Pandora even more now. Sorry, darling. Chef Penny, hurry up with those M&M Tartar. Hurry up.

We have three planters to fill with them. Hurry up. Halloween's around the corner. All right. This isn't even... Oh, sorry. Just blew out your speakers there. This is not... And also, I got through the candy part during that, so it's good.

It won't be as annoying now. So, you guys. Kim Richards. Okay. This isn't really gossip, but it's Kim Richards, so we have to talk about it. Dumbass Kim Richards did not just go to Target and, like, put some moisturizer in her purse, okay? Yeah.

Bitch went in, got those cloth shopping bags or whatever. I don't even know what they're made of. Not cloth. Whatever those things. Those plastic cloth things. Those plastic-y, yeah. She got those. Synthetic material.

Walked through the store, filled them up with stuff. Then she went to the front, put all the bags in a cart, and said, I already paid for this! And then left. Then she went back in for more. Like, she got another cart. Is that how she was caught? She went in for more?

Well, hold on. She grabbed reusable bags, blah, blah, blah, took it to the express line, left. Then she grabbed another cart and didn't even bother backing the items. She just loaded the cart up with toys and beauty products. I mean, look. That's probably what did her in. She probably could have gotten away with the first cart, but the second one, yeah.

Toys and beauty items. What does she need the toys for? That's what I'm saying. She could go sell them on the street. She's going to be out in front of Yolanda's house. She's going to be like, little mermaid towels. I got some little mermaid towels here. She's going to be walking around.

She's going to buy some fake flowers. And she's going to tie a string to the flower to her wrist. And she's going to sell it to someone. And she'll be like, here, Sarah, have a flower. And she'll get her dollar. And they'll walk away. And she'll pull the flower back. And they won't realize, like Charlie Chaplin did in the 20s.

She'll be like, little mermaid towels. you know the problem with little mermaid towels is that if a little mermaid wants to buy one of my towels she has to come out of the water and then she loses her legs and ruins her whole entire life like congratulations now you're dry yeah i have a huge huge order PO order for under the sea. There's some octopus down there that wants all these towels. No matter how many towels you have in the ocean, you can never get it dry. This business is never going to go wrong. I'm Kim Richards, spokesperson for a little mermaid towels.

Kim Richards, spokesperson for a little mermaid towels. They're the best drying towels in all of Malibu in this corner. Malibu and, you know, the poor miserable towels. You know, you ever need to dry

off after a shower? You know who else needs to dry off? The ocean. Please buy some Kim Richards little mermaid towels. Hey, surf Kim Richards Little Mermaid towels. Hey, surfers. Hey, surfers. Good luck getting dry without my Little Mermaid towel. You want one? Five dollars

apiece. Just now. Limited amount. God bless her. So, a couple things. What were the things that she stole? The pics on it? Oh, there's like pictures Ben. It looks like a drug bust but like of a 12 year old who just didn't think she was being watched in a candy store literally it's

like hello kitty stuff there's a ton of dots you know those candy dots oh they're on like the paper and they look like pills they look like big sheets of pills basically there's like a ton of those i cannot believe this bitch i just noticed that right now uh yeah a lot of dots basically and like some hello kitty stickers and all kinds of shit in here actually yeah and her mugshot like you know her first mugshot she looked pretty good in it this mugshot no now she's in crazy town now she's now she's she's she's got a meth mugshot now. She's got like that 1999 K-Fed boat hat going on. Yes. She's got those glasses.

I mean, she is like a boy band gone awry with meth. I mean, she made Dwight Yoakam look like he was the man from Uncle. Oh, God. He's like a young Henry Cavill, Dwight Yoakam is, compared to Kim Richards. Hold on, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. She's like, keep everybody else out of here! But she's been hospitalized, right?

The family has actually hospitalized. She was hospitalized for like five minutes, they said. They took her in to check her out, because you know, she's always so sick. It's crazy. She's actually really gone over the edge. We thought she had gone over the edge before. She is really in

bad shape now. Well, a couple interesting things. One, and these are all comment based comments that I'm reading from the comments. So as most internet comments and as most information I regurgitate on this show, it's probably crap and not true. So please feel free

to tell me. But one common side effect, what do you call it when a symptom No, not a symptom. I don't know. One way that you can tell if somebody... Chef Petty, get the thesaurus! I'm talking about drug addicts. Gondola. Gondola? You just did a gondola?

One common gondola. But one way you can tell that someone is using opiates is that they have shoplifting issues, which I did not know that. But my friend who's in rehab, who I mentioned a couple times, he's like the craziest drug addict I know. That guy's nuts. And he was always stealing shit. Like I won't even go anywhere with him. Is he stealing shit because it's to use it to either sell drugs

or make drugs or whatever? It's just like a kleptomania. It's a kleptomania thing. It's weird. I don't know. It inhibits that part of your brain that says, no, don't do that or something like that. Or I guess you've realized that you're already getting fucked up on drugs so you need adrenaline too because the drugs

really aren't enough. Medicine with Ben and Ronnie. I know. It does that thing to your brain where it does that thing to it, you know, et cetera. Non-disease. That's how we do it. That's how we roll. I mean, hey, if Yolanda can have doctors like that, so can we.

The whole world is your medical oyster, Ben. Maybe Kim Richards just needs a nice, long night of sleep. And you know what would really help her with that? Other than the opiates she's already taking? A Casper mattress. Oh, Ben! What a sweet idea, Ben. What a sweet idea. And as someone who has recently

laid down on a Casper mattress for 20 minutes in their showroom, I can attest that it's supes comfy. So Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. The mattress industry has inherently forced customers into paying notoriously high markups. True dat. True dat. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers

and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the customer. A Casper mattress provides resilience and long-lasting supportive comfort. Casper's mattress is one of a kind, a new hybrid mattress that combines premium latex with memory foam. Latex foam, you should add. So guess what? This is actually, by the way, everyone, I know we are reading an ad, but it's actually super cool.

The mattresses can often cost, normal mattresses often cost well over $1,500, which is true. But Casper mattresses cost between $500 for a twin size, $600 for a twin XL, $750 for a full size, $850 for a queen size, and $950 for a king size mattress. And for real, like, no joke, that's actually really good50 for a king size mattress. For real, no joke, that's actually really good pricing for this sort of mattress. Casper understands that buying a mattress online can have customers wondering how this is

possible. I know Chris Richards is confused. Hey, how'd you get that in your Target cart? That thing's huge, Ken! Call Ken back here. Where have all the dots go on this mattress? I thought I was getting an ultra-sized dots package. Can I get a less heavy mattress that's going to crush my meth when I hide it from the kids?

So, by the way, buying a Casper mattress is completely risk-free. Casper offers free delivery and returns within a 100-day period. It's that simple. And, by the way, did you know this? This is off our script. Casper mattresses actually arrive in a box. They somehow, like, squeeze them into a box, I guess with pressure and stuff. So it arrives in a box that's like the size of a mini fridge, which I think is so cool.

And you open it up, and the mattress springs out of it. Well, yeah, you have to, like, wait for it to – it eventually gets air and unsponges itself it's really creepy to watch yeah just like him richards um yeah you just gotta set her there and wait for her to unsponge so um here's one thing it's an obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price oh yeah just the right sink just the right Two technologies, latex foam and memory foam, come together for better nights and brighter days. And there's a risk-free trial and return policy, so you can try Sleepy on Casper for 100 days with free delivery and painless returns. Mattresses made in America!

And it's $500 for a twin mask twin, $950 for a king. And compare that to the industry averages that's an outstanding price point even gondola price would get involved with that get 50 towards any mattress purchase by by visiting www.casper.com slash crappins and use the promo code crappins terms and conditions supply um and by the way, this truly has nothing to do with the fact that they are now an advertiser on our show. I actually am planning to get one.

I'm just saving up my money. Well, do you think it's a coincidence that they became advertisers again the same week that you were talking about Casper Mattress? That's weird, right? Yeah, and for people who think there's some cronyism going on,

if they did do that because I was mentioning it last week, we were not alerted to any of that. We were just told by our Sideshow Network pals. Yeah. Guess what? Casper's an advertiser this week. You know Casper's becoming a good friend because when you think about them, they call.

Oh, Casper. And here's something else about those mattresses. They can walk through walls. Walk through walls. That was from that Bravo songwriting show with Cara De La Garda. I loved that show. I did, too. I did.

And I know Matt Woodfield loved it, too. We would always talk about it. It was a lost gem. We would love it. All right. Let's get on with the show so before wait one one last thing before we start getting into oc okay uh we have to make a correction from last the last previous episode oh lord now what did we do it's not like a big deal

sorry carol radswell okay you can scatter your fucking husband in 20 different spots i don't even care okay you already apologized for that I'm apologizing for a massive error in which I said, you know, Heather Thompson, she's so dumb. She's been on this show for three years and she never once even used it to have a fashion show

and everyone else has a fashion show. So I'm dumb because her first season, she had a fashion show, a big old fashion show that Aviva Drescher walked in, LOL. So thank you to everyone who corrected me. It's so funny because we totally covered that whole season. We just don't remember shit.

Like there's too much of this shit in our brains, and it just goes away sometimes. Yeah, maybe it's possible that fashion show was pre-St. John's or St. Bart's or wherever they went because that season only started clicking once aviva flipped out on vacation and became crazy and then all of a sudden that season became out of control good they are verbally raping me best congrats heather you did it you had a fashion show the best ever is aviva in that fucking like whale face mask it should look like kkk in a weird mask saying they verbally raped me you're both white trash quite frankly

i thought it would be fun to have this kim richards picture from tmz as my screensaver you know what it's really depressing no yeah that's not a fun so by kim richards you're going back to the realistic drawing of pac-man i mean mario about to get eaten by a giant plant have you seen those ben when artists do these uh they do like adult versions of the cartoons and they're scary as hell and the oh yeah yeah oh so. I've got a good Mario. When you talk about Mario, I thought you were talking about Ramona's Mario and not like Mario Mario. Oh no, I'm like, have you seen

the modern drawings of Mario Singer? That's why I was confused. I was like, who is doing realistic fan art? Realistic surrealist fan art. Real Housewives of New York City's expenses.

That's a very niche market. Very niche. You know, I don't understand all this porn and the people looking at their computers all the time, having sex with their computers. You know what? I just need a nice painting of Mario. That's all I need. I mean, I don't care. I'm free.

I just need a painting, my hand, and that's all I need. Okay? Okay. So anyway, let's talk about Real Housewives of Orange County. You're going to have to steer because I actually took zero notes. Oh, girl. I took 20 pages. Our friend Michelle came over last night and we watched it, and so I felt weird taking notes

while, you know, like, in a social environment. So it is fresh in my mind, but you're going to have to steer, which is good because you probably took tons and tons of notes. I sure did. I watched it at five this morning. And I watched it with the computer.

So I typed and typed and typed and typed, y'all. And they crossed the bridge. Wow. Ronnie only got one hour of sleep on his non-Casper mattress. That's not that unusual for me but it's just it's i'm doing that a lot lately and it's making me feel like a crazy person um i have to mention also before we we're never going to start the show by the way uh someone posted something on our facebook that i just scrolled across, and I love it. This is from Lauren Cooney. So thank you, Dunning.

She posted something that Liza. Liza! You got Liza'd! Liza. Liza from whatever, Secrets and whatever. She has a sponsored post, you know, when you buy those. But I don't think that people understand that when you buy those it says this is sponsored by facebook so yeah it's showing up on everybody's page but you paid it's

embarrassing that's why i don't do it that much um but i've gotten caught like that we're gonna buy some facebook ads for our podcast to get get our numbers up but at least that's a show this is yeah at least that's like a like an entrepreneurial endeavor as opposed to – Liza! I would never buy to have people like me. It says – At least not on Facebook. Liza Sandler, sponsored. Excited for Secret and Wives? Like my page for an exclusive look at Bravo's new hit show.

And it's Liza, and she has 4,080 likes. I think we're beating her, so – I just imagine if you go to her page, there's a pop-up of Susan's face going, are you nauseous? Do you feel nauseous? Do you want to proceed? Do you feel nauseous? Do you need to throw up? Jonathan? Would you like a thumb up your butt? You go to her page and it

redirects to a job listing website. Susan's like, you got license. Now get a job. Could you imagine? I'm just imagining Corey being like, this page stinks. And then that makes me think of Jurassic Park

when they try to get on Newman's computer and he goes, uh-uh-uh. Uh-uh-uh. You didn't say the word. I'm imagining Corey being like, uh-uh-uh. You didn't say the word, I'm imagining Corey being like, uh-uh-uh, you didn't say the word. Jonathan.

Although she's not Jonathan. What's her husband's name? Sandy. Sandy, you didn't say the word Sandy. You didn't say I love you, Sandy. Uh-uh-uh, can't fix Jurassic Park. You know, it's just the little things with Sandy. So he doesn't give a speech at the anniversary dinner.

So he gets wasted and starts telling people. So he was throwing up on a hooker behind the trash can. I mean, whatever. It's the little things. Today, he took my toast out of the toaster and put it on a plate. I mean, it's the little things. I would blow him every day if he just kept doing that. You know what?

Sandy, you know what? We don't have a lot of visitors at Truth and Beauty and Jurassic Park, but you know what, though? I believe in Sandy. We have a vision for Jurassic Park. We sent our friend Liza out there on a test run. She's out in the Jeep, and she couldn't be safer. Oh, go ahead.

Liza's in the Jeep. T-Rex is stomping towards her. Oh my god! I'm paralyzed! This is a T-Rex! Oh my god, did you see that? There's a T-Rex. Did you hear what I said? There's a T-Rex over there. Oh my god. Andy, Andy, are you looking at this in your jeep? There's a T-Rex over there. I can't believe it. I was thinking to myself, what would happen if the T-Rex got loose? And now the T-Rex is loose. Oh my god, I'm paralyzed!

And Andy's like, hold on, hold on, hold on! That T-Rex just got Liza'd! Liza's like Okay you know what I'm gonna distract the T-Rex Okay here's the flare Oh my god Andy They got flares in here Oh my god

It's like via island Except it's in my hand It's like via stick Oh my god I'm gonna run Hey T-Rex Over here Over here

I just did the flare The T-Rex went running After the flare Oh my god It just totally got Liza'd And Sandy's like Well I'm glad you made me Stop selling all the

Anal massagers. Have you seen the buttholes on those things? We could have made a fortune. You know what? Sometimes Jonathan gets drunk and sticks his thumb up a dinosaur's butt. That's all. So what? He's a good guy.

That's what he does. You know, that's what fun people do. Dinosaur. You don't see the T-Rex getting all mad. I mean, about that specifically. Hey, we're going to put this on Insta? Hey, we gonna put this dinosaur on Insta? Max? Hey, there's a dinosaur chasing me

Max, you gotta get out of the kitchen There's dinosaurs in there You gotta get out of the kitchen What'd you do with the kitchen, Max? Max, why'd you let the dinosaurs break my table, Max? Max! Max, you gotta get a job, okay? You gotta get a job at Jurassic Park,

Max. You know what I would tell that T-Rex at eight, Max? I would say, you know what, T-Rex, at the end of the day, I love you. You're my heart. You're my heart. I love you. Let's put it on Insta. Hey, Max, when you let the Velociraptors out of their cage, you know what?

Like, I understand that got you fired, but was he mean to you? Was John Hammond mean to you when he fired you from Jurassic Park? Did he make you feel sad? Max, that's not right. You know, I support you. Mom, all I want to do is I just want to be a good dinosaur wrangler,

Mom. That's all. Just, you know, I want to be happy when I do it. Max, I get it. I get it, Max. Max. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted

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From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of

February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

Hug me. Hug the dinosaur, Max. Poor Max. You know that poor guy cannot keep any kind of damn job. He would be the first one killed in that thing. He would be that little homely kid that almost got killed in the cage by the big new one. Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

Hey, Arthur, are you going to go reset the power at Jurassic Park, Arthur? Okay, you're going to have me do it? Okay, Arthur. I'm out of this fucking island. That T-Rex is mean to me. You know, I know the T-Rex will come around. Sure, it killed Max. It ate Max.

Sure. And sure, it pushed me down the other day and made me feel real bad about myself. But at the end of the day, that T-Rex got me a U3W. And that's love. That's love. You know, it's like this this this park would be great but you know hurricane arthur came in and just ruined all the systems i'm out of here this is stupid oh god i finally saw that jurassic park movie can you tell like i know what you're

talking about now the new one i'm talking about the original jurassic park oh i finally saw the new one i wanted them all to die i was like bye you're talking about now. The new one. I'm talking about the original Jurassic Park. Oh, I finally saw the new one. I wanted them all to die. I was like, bye. You're all stupid. This movie sucks. Bye. And also, that movie is so fattest. They killed every fat person in the movie.

Yeah. They killed almost every black person. They had the black guy that they didn't kill. And of course, he was a Nobel Peace Prize winning fucking AIDS doctor from whatever. I was like, come on. Training the velociraptors. It's funny because all the dinosaurs in Jurassic World did actually resemble everyone in Secrets of Lives. It's like, oh, there's Susan.

There's Liza. There's Andy. Cory's flying. Oh, look, all the Cory's got loose. Also, whoever made that movie hates nannies that was the most violent death scene I've seen in a long time of killing that nanny

I was like damn are you talking about when Susan ate the nanny in the water that was actually Jonathan who ate the nanny he's like well I was gonna eat her but then I decided to get my finger up her butt and slam her back down, then eat her again. Then slam her back down, then eat her again.

And then we were both eaten. He was like, you know what? I was just like, shut up. I'm sick of hearing you, nanny. I'm sick of it. I'm just going to eat you. Jonathan, do you feel nauseous now that you ate the nanny? Jonathan?

All right. Let's move on to Real Housewives of Orange County. Sorry. Not that my voices are ever on point, but if I do a high-pitched voice, it hurts my throat. All my lady voices are like, hey! Well, we could just do them all

today like the cast of Secrets and Wives. You want to do Secrets and Wives goes to Orange County? No, no. we'll do it normally so orange county orange county for those of you who have been patiently waiting for us to get to orange county okay um megan's voice opens the show so you know we're in trouble because whenever it starts with previously on real housewives of orange county i'm like oh no here we go yeah um so it's the day after they all got shit-faced uh tamra wakes vicky up and they're like oh we're so funny we're so drunk and then they have a

flashback montage of them being drunk together and tamra sitting on bus boys faces and vicky Vicky peeing down water slides and stuff. Aw, so cute. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Shannon went home drunk, and she did not get laid. But this whole episode, she's oddly happy. There's this genuine smile on Shannon's face this episode. Yeah, well, I think she had a really good session with the nebulizer. David, I feel like I have all of my proteins and amino acids flowing through my lungs.

I felt my tonsils again, David. Those were taken out when I was in kindergarten. But the reason she was in such a good mood is she went home wasted and then ate all the candy. Oh, yeah. I ate a small bag of candy, David. David, I can't do this.

Even worse, when I was drunk, I had some bread and cheese and bread and cheese. David, I cheated. No, David, it's not the same. No, David, you're not off. David, negative thoughts. Negative thoughts. David is not. No, we are not equal now.

I just cheated with bread and cheese, bread and cheese. That's all, David. I didn't get married to Jolly Ranchers, David. So when I had some chocolate-covered strawberries in wherever the hell we are, it wasn't cheating. Do you understand that? We were on a break, David. I was on a break from Jolly Ranchers, David, so when I had some chocolate-covered strawberries in wherever the hell we are, it wasn't cheating. Do you understand that? We were on a break, David. I was on a break from Jolly Ranchers. No, David, it's not the same. David, unlike you, I did not bring my pizza to every restaurant in Orange County

and humiliate my wife. No, I will not make a list of all the candy I had, David, and I don't appreciate that sarcasm, okay? Not the same thing, David. David, my bag of candy won't befriend you and ask you how everything's going, David. David, my bag of candy won't befriend you and ask you how everything's going, David. Yeah. So we get to that in a little while.

I don't even know. I told you I have a ton of notes that make no sense. Lead it. I will chime in with my comment. But yeah, I have some questions about that. But she's like, I ate the candy. And then Megan's like, yeah, you know why I'm not hungover? Because I'm the candy. And then Megan's like, yeah, you know why I'm not hungover? Because I'm not old.

Yeah, how about it's also because you had like a thimble of vodka in your lame half of the party last night. Age has nothing to do with it. You know why? Because 22-year-olds get wasted and get hangovers. So shut the fuck up, Megan King Edmonds. I wish I recorded that, Megan King Edmonds, so I could play it every time on this podcast. Heather needs

to be murdered. I'm rooting for the Sharks. Heather or Megan? Heather, actually, because I forgot. I don't know if this happened after or before, but Heather comes into Vicky and Tamara's room and she's like, okay, we're going to have fun now. Everybody come on. We're going to have fun. This is what we do on vacation. We do things.

I have a list. I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, she's like, this is how I wake up my kids, too. I'm just going to treat you like my kids. As if she doesn't treat them like her kids every other moment of the day. She's like, all right, we're going to have fun. It's like, hey, America, look at me. I am goofy, funny Heather Dubrow.

And look at me kicking these women out of bed and having fun. I am a fun, laid-back woman who does not have any lists in life at all. Carefree Dubrow, and look at me kicking these women out of bed and having fun. I am a fun, laid-back woman who does not have any lists in life at all. Carefree Dubrow. This is what I do. I come in, I wake up the kids, and then if they're not up the third time, I let the illegals come in and spray them with a hose. You don't want that, do you? You don't want that?

I'm a good mom, Heather. What are the people? What are the people, right? What are the people? What are the people? Where's Coco? Where's my method champagne glass?

And Tamara, keeping it classy as ever. Tamara's one of those girls you know, when there's that girl in the bar who's like, I'm so drunk! Like that sorority girl who just wants anybody to fuck her. She's just like, I don't even care.

It's like an invitation to have date rape or something. She's just like i don't even care it's like an invitation to have like date rape or something she's just like i'm wasted that's tamra at all times and honey stop stop you know there's think of yourself like a nice glass of milk there's an expiration date on it okay it's delicious but you know eventually someone either drinks it or it just expires and curdles yeah put yourself in the fridge tamra that's my advice yeah yeah and doesn't and doesn't work well with booze either i would like to add i like when heather is trying to be one with the people and she's uh she's like cracking jokes but they're all cat skills jokes they are totally i was thinking the same thing she's so so Catskills-y.

She's very, like, not victim-on, he was a singer. Where did I hear that name recently? I don't know. Oh, Victor Borja, maybe? But he, Borja, like, she is very much like,

like, bad Jackie Mason, where you know that her jokes really only work at the Seder table, where her parents are like, oh, Heather, you're always such a pistol. That Heather's a cod! She's like, Vicky, I just want to say that your color is nice today. You have the

color of a drowned rat! What? What are you, 80? Says the woman who has the face of a polar bear, you are so pale. I wish I still worked at the Jupiter Dinner Theater because I know Heather will be coming through there at any moment.

Do I cast your salmon? Well, let me tell you about the cabinets. Whoa! Can I do anything more for this household? God! I'm a mom and I'm also a maid. Call me maid, mom! Shut up, Heather.

Stop it. Maid in Momhattan. Shut up, Heather. Stop it. Made in Momhattan. So, Shannon, we cut to Shannon with that fucking sucker thing. What is it? I put rehabilitating.

David, it's the nebulizer. David, why can't you learn about my rehabilitation tools, David? David, this is very important to me. David, the fact that you can't even remember the things that I need to breathe makes me very concerned. Because this is what I need to live. And if you can't even pay enough attention to know what it takes for me to breathe in your presence, it means that I think you want me dead. Here lies Shannon Bedore, killed by her husband, by his infidelity, and lack of attention to her medical needs.

David? David? Here lies Shannon Bedore, died of an overdose. One extra negative thought finally took her down. David, my negative thoughts are now in the 41 to 51 range today, and I'm not very happy about that. Are there caterpillars in this country? Because I need to take the juice from the testicle of one, insert it into my earlobe so I can get rid of these negative thoughts for the day. David?

David? So Heather's version of fun makes me want to kill me and herself, I wrote. Then they went on some boat with Gerard Depardieu. You know what he looked like? He looked like a fat version of Jacques Luan's ex. Oh my god. Maybe that's what happened to him.

He's like, oh, he's like, I can't even say what he's like. I'm like, he's like, and I was like, I have no idea what he's like. He's just fat Jacques. Yeah, he's fat Jacques. He's like, where did Jacques go? I'm going to go diving. Now I'm in the ocean.

Ocean. He had the best idea of all. He's like, let me put a weight on all these women's head and see who comes up. The ocean doesn't cheat on you with a man wearing eyeliner. The ocean is my mistress. The fish were all like, yay, humans are here. We get to play. They're like, oh, damn, no.

It's these bitches again. Heather. So they were doing this like 30,000 leagues under the sea. What's that, right? I think it's like 20,000 or 60,000. 5000 leagues under the sea. What's that, right? I think it's like 20,000 or 60,000. 5 million leagues under the sea. Don't sell Jules Verne's legacy with these women, Ronnie. 20,000 junior leagues under the sea.

Like, that's totally my past, Rhonda! Ursula's like, ah, my peeps. Oh, I have an Ursula thing later. Oh, good. Well, this is our second... We're at our second Ursula reference of the podcast, so why not go for that? So, Jorah Depardieu.

Okay, so they're getting on these, like, big uniform... water uniforms. I know nothing about the ocean telling. It's basically one of these weighted helmets that goes on your head. And the water doesn't come into it because there's pressure. It's like if you take a straw and you put your finger over the top and put it into a soda, the liquid doesn't go up into the straw because of air pressure and stuff like that.

So anyway, this whole concept was very confusing to the woman. And Heather gave me hope. Heather gave me hope for the first time ever on this show when she said water can fill up in this thing and you could drown i was like well thank you thank you for the light at the end of the tunnel at least i know she's like well anyway here i go they're like yay go go water go water go water wish me luck terry might find this really sexy can someone facetime this facetime terry okay if he can fit me in his celebrity lifestyle that guy oh god um so ursula oh look i already got to ursula it was

right after 80 million leagues under the sea um ursula okay do you know who looks just like Ursula? This is so mean to say. Lizzie in that thing has Ursula face, but like Ursula before she became like, you know, fat and evil. It was like the Ursula before her life was destroyed by some slut mermaid. She's pre-Ursula. Yeah, it was like still happy Ursula. I was like, oh no, Lizzie. If she would turn into real Ursula she'd make this show a lot better and she'd secure herself a spot

yeah she would can you imagine if Lizzie had eight arms imagine all the bathing suits she could design at once here's a bikini and here's a bikini do you know how many horizontal lines i can draw with eight arms do you have any triangles with little bows on them i could

draw at once oh my god the line would be done at once um i don't know why i'm writing about some of this stuff okay so then we get to uh megan and tamra talk about marriage. Okay, well, so now here's what, here's where the bullshit of the episode begins, okay? So Megan and Tamara are on the boat. Everyone also had the good idea to get off the boat and leave those two there, okay? So they're on the boat, and Tamara's like, you know, it's funny because, it's so funny because Jim's second wife

came up in conversation last night. Yeah, because you brought her up, Tamara. Don't act like it just happened out of the blue for some night. Yeah, because you brought her up, Tamara. Don't act like it just happened out of some other reason. You brought her up, Tamara. So Tamara tells the story. She's like, peace be with you and also with you. So you hang out with the tramp. That's great. That came up. Tamara's

like, you know, in between me learning about Christianity from my Christianity from Dummies book, I forgot to tell you about this. So basically, for those of you who don't remember the previous episode, Tamara brought up the fact that Heather is still friends with

Jim's second wife. And Tamara's like, it's sort of weird. You know, if I were friends with the second wife, I would find it a little weird to be friends with the third wife. And then Megan just was like, you know, Meghan and Vicky were like, yeah, that's weird. And Meghan was like, yeah, that's very strange. That's like a

almost like a violation of girl code, you know? Oh, Shannon. Did I say Meghan? Sorry. Meghan? Meghan King Evans? Well, she did kind of go off at that thing. She's like, well, that's not girl code. And who does that? And I would have a problem. And if Miss Heather Dubrow

thinks that she can hang out with one of David's mistresses, well, we're going to have trouble, because that is not girl code. The truth will come out. So Shannon did go off, but she's also going off this, you know, to be fair, I do think

that Tamara egged on that sort of conversation, where she was like, isn't it weird? And it's like sort of conversation where she was like, isn't it weird? And it's like, you know, when sometimes people say, isn't it weird? Sometimes if you're drunk, you get like all high and mighty and you go on a little soapbox moment. So anyway. Yeah, or when you're on a podcast. Yeah. So Tamara brings this up to Megan.

And she's like, because I just feel like everything should be out in the open, that this came up, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I have to say this did not have to come out in the open because if Tamara were interested in it being out in the open, she should have told Heather because Heather was the butt of the scrutiny, not Meghan, Meghan King, admins. So the fact that Tamara told Meghan shows she was ready to stir the pot. Yeah, because Tamara is doing nothing. She doesn't even work at her own effing gym, okay? That woman does nothing, and if she's not going to cause shit for no reason, or make stuff up, then she's got to get

everyone else in a fight. And I do think that Tamara is hilarious with this Christianity thing. It is killing me. This whole like, well, you know, I'm a different person now. And before, I would have like said something and then like it would have been a fight. But because I don't want people to victimize

me like they did last year in ballet. And then they cut to her in ballet going, you'll never see my face again. And then like running away and like, promises, promises stunning. But yeah, she they showed that and then like running away and like yeah it has the promises promises stunning but yeah she uh they showed that victim that victim moment of hers well she she hides behind morality she hides behind like christianity now and now she's hiding behind this thing this this faux sentiment of i

just want everything to be out in the open well if you wanted everything out to be out in the open you would have told everyone when everyone was there all together so there wouldn't have been this game of telephone that later plagued these women at dinner but we'll get to that oh yeah because megan is not ever going to hide anything ever does i mean she is like a typical miss 30 year old third she hears one thing and everyone hears it she talks shit i I'm like, she has no... And I love it. You know, it's funny. If you tell Megan that, oh, so Shannon had a pretzel, later at dinner, Megan will be like, well, there's an elephant in the room, and I think we all know who's been eating pretzels, and lots of them, and that would be Shannon. And Shannon will be like, what?

I did not have pretzels. I had candy. I start pretzels, Megan. I start snacks. I start snacks, Megan. Megan. Megan. Yeah, Tamara's ridiculous, but I'm loving that she is just so boldly hiding behind this Christianity thing.

Oh, yeah, I love that she does it. So funny. But I have to call bullshit on her on her too at the same time well we were wrong because you know first of all i get the i get what the ladies are saying if you're friends with the original wife and then you're friends with the successive wife or whatever i get all that but this is california okay well everybody fucks in the same circle and they have 10 wives by the time they're dead. If you stop talking to everybody that was married to somebody you know, you would not have anybody to invite to dinner at the Olive Garden. Yeah, and also, it is – I mean, I do think it's strange, but I also think if that wife is fine with it, then it's no one's business.

Shannon. And also, of course, by the way, Jim Edmonds' second wife, of course she's not going to have a problem because Heather, as much as we talked about Heather, in the Orange County social ladder, Heather is probably much higher than this second wife, this dumped

ex-baseball wife, versus Heather, who is building the Palace of Versailles in Tustin. Yeah, in Tustin.ailles in Tustin. Yeah, in Tustin. The Palace of Tustin. Yeah, and then Megan's like,

all these ladies want to do is talk about me. I mean, why don't they get their own things to talk about? Why don't they talk about their own lives? I'm like, please, do not suggest that they talk about their own lives. Who's this? Knock, knock. Who's this? Knock, knock. Who's this? Megan King Edmonds. Oh, I'm not familiar. Megan King Edmonds is here to talk

about you, about you talking about me. I never answered the door, Megan. You said I knock, knocked. You have to answer the door. That's the law. I'm a 30-year-old. Why are you so old? Seriously. My kids are in the hidden room, Megan. My kids are'm a 30-year-old. Why are you so old? Seriously. My kids are in the hidden room, Megan. My kids are in the hidden room.

Who knock-knocks? Who does that? My kids are in their room, Megan. Is this Ryan Seacrest? Is this Knock Knock Live? No, it's Megan King Edmonds. So I think we got our first intro to the new wife because they're, you know, this old, and I don't mean old because I don't know.

She's probably 10 for all I know. She was probably like straight out of a, you know, cradle or whatever. Out of Compton. Out of a Compton cradle, for all I know, with that baseball-loving man. Compton, England. Compton, England, darling. Compton, England, darling. But when they ask, the producers ask Megan and the camera thing about her, and she's like,

they ask the producers ask megan and the camera thing about her and she's like well i don't like to talk about it but let's just say that she's not a very happy person yeah well yeah because you know because you're throwing out all her nicely appointed furniture for your tuscan shit because some 30 year old slut is trying to make her kids call you mommy. And you're riding on the back of her things with a Sharpie to sell it in a state sale before she's even dead. That's why. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So,

Vicky and Shannon on the beach in their heartfelt discussion. By the way, I would like to add something. I thought Shannon looked great this episode. I like when Shannon pulls her hair back like that. She looked great and she did look very something. I thought Shannon looked great this episode. I like when Shannon pulls her hair back like that. She looked great and she did look very refreshed. So good for you, Shannon.

Dr. Moon's therapy and the nebulizer are working. Yeah, but, you know, it's also one of those things where people who are always dieting have a piece of pizza and they're suddenly, like, thrilled. Bitch had a piece of candy, okay? Tell me about it. Tell me about it. Tell me about it. Dr. Moon, I had some sugar, and it changed my life. Get your thumb out of my ass. We're done.

I'm done with you, Dr. Moon. You've lied to me this whole time. All I needed was an M&M. So, Vicky and Shannon on the beach. So, this discussion was sweet because, basically, I don't know, Shannon is so underhanded. Everything she says is shady, okay? She was saying to Vicky, well, thank you because when that stuff happened with David, I called you and you were really there for me. You came right over.

You took care of me. You didn't tell anyone. And that's a real friend. Thank you for being a real friend who didn't tell anybody about what happened. Because, you know, last time I tried to have a private conversation on national TV. And then I cut back to Tamara.

Thank you for keeping that secret on national TV. And Tamara did exactly the same thing last year as she's doing this year. Yeah, so Shannon's husband is like fucking somebody i mean i don't know maybe i feel bad for her though i'm just trying to get it out in the open because i feel bad for her batch christianity so yeah so vicky's like well you know i think it's important to remember that in every every relationship that divorce happens you know know, one of the spouses is going to cheat.

And, you know, I wish I could have told myself back then when I had Don, I wish I could have just said, you know, Vicks, put up with it. Have an open relationship. Fuck a toothless guy from the South if you need to, the most child support. You're free to do that, you know. But if you actually get a divorce, Don's going to take half of your things. And that's the end of it, Shannon. Shannon's like, well, thanks. Great talk.

By the way, I have to give a shout out to our listener. I'm sorry. I didn't write down your name. One of our listeners wrote on our Facebook page that when we do our Vicky impersonations, that when you do it, you make Vicky sound like she's from Minnesota. And when I do it, I make her sound like she's Irish. Oh, don't you know, Don dawn top of the morning to you insurance life insurance that's all i that's all you get i have no irish in me i mean i actually do but like my accents are so fucked up because of all these shows because it's like once i hone in on one

accent all my other accents like it's like i have a bass accent, and then all the rest of them are adjusted off of that bass accent. And now that the bass accent has moved from British to Melbourne, now all my bass accents have been adjusted accordingly. It's like a color wheel. The color wheel has been rotated, and all the accents are all askew in so many different ways. Well, the Real Housewives of Melbourne have kind of ruined the color wheel. They have taken tanning to a level that's offensive. It's offensive, let's face it.

I mean, even Andy Cohen's tanning is strange now. He's brown now. Yeah, it's like this weird new tanning where it's like orange-brown. It's not just orange. It's like orange-brown. It's weird. It looks chalky.

He looks like Patti Fleur. Flip a bit. I grew up poor. I grew up like orange brown. It's weird. It looks chalky. He looks like Pettiflur. Flip a bit. I grew up poor. I grew up chalky brown. And this is why I'm releasing chalky brown flip the bitch makeup. And he looks South Asian now. Maybe Lydia's gonna adopt him as

her child. She's gonna go to the 71th floor of the skyscraper and sign the adoption papers. And if I can't do that, then I'll put it in the post. Yes, I would like to adopt this baby. I'm subscribing to this baby.

Send me a pill. Andy Cohen is exactly the sort of child that I would like. I can't believe his parents made a child just for me. Okay, so anyways, back to the Shannon thing. Back to the beach conversation. Shannon always has these,

like, other, these ulterior motives. So she's saying, like, thank you for, you know, she got the Tamara thing

out of the way and then she was like, no matter what, that's really what people do. And Vicky was looking at her like, oh yeah, no problem. You know that you have to

stand up for Brooks when everybody's lying, saying he's lying about cancer, right? You know that you're on Brooks' side now, right? Because, you know, that's what friends do, right? Pre-trip to Andalusia is in it for you. You know, I have to say, though, so this conversation was actually pretty surprising because Shannon gave some more details about the affair that David had.

Oh, my God. And we learned that this woman, that David, so David started the affair pretty much right before the beginning of last season. Like right before Shannon first met Vicky. And this woman actually befriended Shannon and then started asking Shannon about like, you know, how's her relationship doing and yada, yada, yada, yada. And it was really fucked up because this is the woman who was having an affair with david and and i have i have to admit like that that is a mind fuck and i don't know how shannon could ever trust anyone again after that well it also shows that the mistress is really personable because it's not easy to be french shannon we've seen you know maybe maybe

maybe it was danielle from last season with the gay husband yeah she's like well i need to get it from somewhere maybe um yeah a lot of maybes there did she say who this woman was she didn't say who it was right like were they no she didn't and if it were if it were danielle i'm sure she would have been very happy to to smear her name all over the the the show and i'm sure sure she would have been very happy to smear her name all over the show. And I'm sure the producers would have been very happy to keep up Danielle as a full-time cast member. Yeah. And then Vicky was shocked to hear all this information.

You know, David, who fucking does that? They get a reality show and they start having an affair immediately. You're on a show called Real Housewives with cameras in your house. They've installed fucking cameras in your house, David. David. And now you're going to start fucking somebody? Oh my god. David. David. David. All right.

So they had this conversation. So what happened after the conversation? Okay. Blah, blah, blah. Secret keeper score. Secret keeper score. Blah, blah, blah. Dinner. Then they went, blah, blah, blah, dinner. Then they went to dinner, right? Yeah, then they went to dinner,

and then Tamara had to woo and yell about wieners being out again. It's like, Tamara, we get it, okay? Jesus Christ. You look like a chicken liver wrapped up in saran wrap, okay, and, like, laid on the grill of a fridge. Just stop. Like, what are you trying to prove, okay? You cannot go backwards, darling.

Press and seal. Press and seal, darling. That's the motto of Tamara's life. Press her and seal her up. Throw her away in the fridge. So I just wrote, their patterns are less classy than the actual, like, towels

that the dancers are wearing. And then Shannon was saying, wait, who was saying, did you talk about me last night it was megan right oh no it was oh yeah so because because tamra told megan this then megan oh yeah so uh did you guys talk about me last night which is such a tacky question to ask and so oh what a stupid wench she is hello welcome to Maria would you like to hear the appetizers would you like to hear about people talking about me

so they're like no actually we didn't talk about you and then they're like well I heard you said this and that you know and then it started this whole crazy thing and then it started the tamra christian well of course we were talking because we cared and we were talking about our feelings and your feelings about james jim's kids and how sweet they are and how we might see it differently and then heather jumped in because

at this point heather had heard clearly from either megan or from tamra about what they were saying and she's like, oh yeah, Shannon, I heard that you had a lot of things to say about me. And Shannon's like, what? I wasn't... What? And then Shannon's like, all I said was, you know, I thought it was strange. I thought I was just talking about this, how you're married, whatever.

She was saying this. So then Heather turns her back to Tamara. And Heather's like, Tamara, you told me this. And then they're like, Tamara, what have you been saying and so suddenly it all turned on Tamara as it should as it should and Heather's so dramatic she's like oh yeah I heard you called me

a horrible person no we did but that's not how they would word it come on yeah and I mean to be fair the women really weren't coming we've seen these women come down hard on people. And this was more of like light, you know, light agitation, you know. Yeah.

Vicky's just like, oh, yeah, you know, we already said the stuff that we were saying behind your back to your face. You know, it's all this stuff about how we'd murder you if you tried to pretend our kids were your own. Or how about you're not the real mother of those kids and you should stop acting like it. Or how you should stop crying when you're the third slut that this guy's married. I mean, come on, Megan. What do you want? You don't work. And then I think it was around this time before the bathroom break,

wasn't this when they started talking about were they talking about Hayley here or were they talking about Hayley at the second dinner? Probably the second dinner. Right? I didn't write anything Hayley down, but of course I never write the important things well at some point whatever this may have happened later but at some point

actually I think it was the second dinner I'll just wait for the second dinner for the Haley stuff because Vicky talked about how yes it was sorry sorry everyone on the listening to the podcast so what happened she did go off in this one but she was saying... It was...

It was, like, general stuff. She's like, Megan, look, here's what a step-parent is supposed to do, okay? No, no, but she did at the second dinner, so we'll get to that.

Okay, yeah. Because I have it, she's, like, lecturing about step-parenting in this one. Yeah, that's later. So what happened was... So then Shannon and Vicky

go to the bathroom because they're, like, annoyed. So they go to the bathroom, and in the bathroom they're talking about, like, you you know when you say one thing it gets back to him it's like give him a telephone right so then Tamara

then goes to the bathroom and then she's now she's complaining she's like how did I get turned to the bad one I don't know I was just trying to keep everything out in the open and now I like people are coming after me now like why Heather's totally coming after me what a batch I'm like uh yeah because you just got heather involved in all sorts of shit and she's and she's trying to act like the victim classic tamra immediate try to turn everyone against

heather the night before and yeah exactly now tamra's like i don't understand i'm just trying to be a good christian and tamra seriously, which I thought was hilarious because she has not said that for a while. But she used to say it all the time. Seriously, seriously, seriously, bet. Seriously, bet. She was saying it a lot last night. She was saying seriously and really. Like, really?

Really? Seriously? Seriously, bet. So then, meanwhile, at the table, Shannon's there with Megan and Heather and Lizzie. Or did Heather go into the bathroom also? I think Heather went to the bathroom too. Heather went to the bathroom too because she knows Tamara. But if she doesn't go to the bathroom, Tamara's going to have everybody believing that Heather's some terrorist or something.

So Heather's there. They're all sorting things out in the bathroom. This leaves Shannon with Lizzie and Megan King-Admonds. Oh, my God. Shannon with Lizzie and Megan King Edmonds. And so I think Megan's Shannon makes a comment being like

someone here is a pot stirrer. You know, which is true. Because everyone was happy until I like how she said it like she's in clue. She's like, there's a pot stirrer among us. Well, let's have a whole different theater about it.

A thunderclap. Men are like tissues. Soft, strong, disposable. But, you know, sometimes it's worth taking one out of the trash can and unwrapping it and just using it for the rest of your life because are you ever going to find a better tissue? Are you? Are you? But you're always going to blow them.

So then she says there's a pot stirrer. And then Megan, was Megan's response just to say, there you go again with your judgy eyes, right? Well, they started talking about the Heather thing. And then Shannon was saying, yeah, there's a pot stirrer. And then Lizzie was like, yeah, there's a pot stirrer and then Lizzie was like yeah there's a pot stirrer her name is Tamara and she does it to everybody and Megan's like what you guys she's my friend and they're like well whatever

your friend likes stirring your friend has got a really big wooden spoon that she enjoys stirring pots of shit with so there you go that's your friend have fun and I love Lizzie in the Lizzie in the confessional has been like we've been down this path, so Megan, just, you know, shut up. Just shut your mouth.

Yeah, Lizzie's like, why don't you just be quiet? Look, of course I'm not a regular this season, but I still get free trips and free dinners. And look, people are donating me clothes. Just be quiet. The life is good. Okay, Megan? The life is good. So then it does get quiet, and then Megan's like,

there you go again, Shannon, with your judgy eyes. And Shannon's like, judgy eyes. She's like, what? No, judgy eyes. Megan, I don't have judgy eyes. They're called expressions, Megan King-Edmonds. She's like, well, I'm sorry about, you know,

Heather broke girl code. If you're with a man that's cheating, and your man that cheated on you has a woman that becomes friends with another woman that becomes friends with you and you don't see a problem with that, well, I have a problem with you not seeing a problem with that, Mr. Bro. Okay? That's it. I worked really hard to get our relationship back. Judgy eyes. Judgy eyes. Judgy eyes.

I just love it. I wish I could take my nebulizer and stuff it down Meghan King Edmonds' throats, but then that would be too nice, because she would have wonderful lungs.

You know one thing I've noticed about Bravo's version of Girl Code, which is why I love it, because every show is talking about Girl Code now, at the same time.

And I love that they're talking about it, because Girl Code always has to do with women attacking each other it's like yeah why why do you blame the other women for every single thing that happens in your life and nobody blames the man look at all the shit that david has gotten away with and shannon is like fine well she's not fine but she's fine with that but she's never gonna let heather's you know seat fight in the Houstons go. And she shouldn't, by the way.

She shouldn't. Because Shannon earned that chair fair and square. Yeah, totally agree. But she's still not going to let it go. It's like, first she's trying to steal my chair and make me feel crazy. And now, it's like, oh, God, Shannon. So anyway, blah, blah, blah, Lizziera i love tamra i love tamra oh and then megan goes she tells us i just i mean is it me i haven't seen any evidence of tamra acting like that

bitch please you have a tv right yeah it's not like this is a book series or something that we're expecting you to read, okay? You have a fucking TV, lady. Yeah. She's so stupid. You're stupid. You're stupid. And then she's like, oh, there you go, with your judgy eyes again. She's like, ah-ha-ha, I don't have judgy eyes.

I just have an expression, Megan. Expression. I don't judge, okay? I do referee in the game of Girl Code. But that's not judging. That's just calling the line. All right, Megan. Expression. I don't judge, okay? I do referee in the game of Girl Code. But that's not judging. That's just calling the line. All right, Megan? I have only 10 to 13 judgments per day, Megan.

Okay? Much lower than yours. Megan King-Edmonds. So then they come back and they get into separate golf carts. Oh, my God. I just feel bad poor lizzie lizzie seems like such a nice person but she never is in the good cart never never in the good ocean expedition she's never at the good side of the table lizzie's just sitting back there collecting gift bags

basically yeah she and by the way those women were drunk and racing those golf carts. I mean, I thought this would be just an enormous collision. I thought it was going to end in a very tragic way. Shannon? Hey, Tamara. Shannon said you're a pot stirrer. Ah, what a bitch. I do not stir pots.

I mean, who says that? What a bitch. Really? Seriously? Pot? I'm stirring a pot, Shannon. It's called a pot of your betch stew, okay?

It's almost ready. Megan is so... First of all, I loved how Tamara was shocked that she'd be called this. And I love how Megan is just saying it as if she's not a pot stirrer herself. She's so thirsty. She just wants to be... Megan is just saying it as if she's not a potster herself. And she's just,

she's so thirsty. She just wants to be, she wants to be Tamara's little minion so badly. And she's so awful. So yeah. So, so she tells us to Tamara and then when they arrive at wherever they are, they all start fighting again.

Because Tamara's like, Oh, love your purse, honey. Someone goes, I love your purse. And she's like, Oh really bitch. Does my purse look like a potster? Yeah. Really Tamara? Someone's like, oh, I love your purse, honey. Someone goes, I love your purse. And she's like, oh, really, bitch?

Does my purse look like a pot stirrer? Really, Tamara? This is why you can never win, okay? Just saying things in a bitchy tone doesn't make it a comeback of any kind. No, your purse is not a pot stirrer, okay? Of course it's not a fucking pot stirrer. I mean, it could be. A really strange pot.

It doesn't even make any sense. Does my purse look like a pot stirrer batch? And Shannon's like, not what you do. You look like you're a stirrer of a pot. Looks like you work soup. Looks like someone's been working a ladle over there. Miss Tamara Barney.

Miss Tamara Barney, George. She's like, now I can't even say a thing Without it being turned Into a game on telephone Within two minutes of it David David Why aren't you calling me

On the telephone Speaking of which David David You calling your mistress Right now David If I call right now

Will there be a business signal David David People want to throw Oh Tamara People want to throw me Under the bus I dislike that

That's all you do That's all you do Okay Shannon for you do okay shannon for a second i thought megan oh yeah for a second i thought megan king edmunds and i could repair oh no no um so then shannon goes on this whole thing of that is not what i said i did not say that i did not say anything about girl code or heather completely betraying womanhood by being friends with the mistress. I didn't say anything like that. How dare you turn it around? It's like, uh, yeah, you did. Yeah, that's exactly what you said, actually.

At least own up to it. And, uh, I have enough shit, hand wave. Okay, so then Shannon gets really mad and starts waving her hand in that, uh, the truth will come out way. And then she gets really mad and starts pointing a crooked finger, which I just

love that. Oh, you've done that to me before. I don't even know why I'm surprised. Here we are again. Here we are again. I set my I got your password for your MyCloud and you think I can't see where you are, but I can see where you are, Megan King's admin. I can see where you are. Listen, lady, keep your poking. Keep poking

at me, Megan. Keep it up. Megan. And then, of course, another brilliant put down. Shannon's like, I'll bet if you looked under that dress of Megan King Edmonds, you'd find a pair of nuts. You'd find a pair of balls there, alright?

She's got some balls, that one. She's a man. She's literally a man. I think I already said it. Meghan King Edmonds. I start general searches. I can understand wanting to become a man. I can understand wanting to become a woman.

But wanting to become a Meghan? Who would do that? And then they're like, how's everybody doing? And Tamara's like, I'm hurt, to be honest, because, like, I was just trying to put everything... Okay, you say I'm stirring the pot. I was trying to make soup, okay, and then serve it to you guys and, like, put it

on the table. And then we could all sip the soup together and, like, talk about how it tastes. And say grace. And say grace. And thank the Lord. And now you've ruined grace. Now there's no soup thanks for the grub Vicky's a bitch come to cut fitness

so blah blah blah blah blah blah from my experience I'm nuts oh and then Tamara's like I'm crazy I'm going into the ocean with shoes you're a whore the flinging champagne bottles

like moet like into is it moet or moet I don't know but fling it into the ocean you're just awful awful awful wastrels I didn't even see that that's not good Shannon was wearing a poncho from Anthropologie Tamara talks to Heather

oh and then we get to Tamara's The Bible for Dummies. Oh my god. Of course she has that. That's from Alexis Bellino, I'm sure. Who didn't even understand it wasn't an audiobook. This is too advanced for Alexis.

She's like, do you want this? I don't understand it. I'm going to the picture book. If you can find the play button, you're welcome to it. She's like, I don't understand. Nothing pops up. Who was she telling that to, Heather? She was telling

someone like, yeah, I mean, like, Jesus batch. I mean, what a guy. Like, he was hot. You know, if Jesus was alive today, he'd totally be a member of Cump Fitness. Totally. Have you seen his apps? I mean, he works hot, you know? If Jesus was alive today, he'd totally be a member of comp fitness. Totally. Have you seen his abs? I mean, he works those things for sure. And then I'd sell him a house.

And then I'd tell him all about what Judas has been up to. But I'm not a postumer. It'd be really nice to know someone, like, hot and worth hanging out that's actually poorer than me. Because I never have that in my social circle. So she's talking about her stupid Bible study thing and she's like yeah it's like we're studying it but like in a new way you know like in a different way i'm meeting with the pastor yeah she said pasture thank you for remembering that finally i understand what they mean when they're like pasteurizing milk like oh i'm never gonna drink an unprayed for

carton of milk again, batch. I hope someday to devote myself to religion long enough that I can become a meadow. She's like, until I get to pasture level, I'm just a haystack. But I'm willing to work my way up, Jesus. So they go to another place. I don't know. They traveled again. And then I noticed.

Okay. So what happened was at this point, they took a ferry back to the main island in Tahiti. And that was when on the ferry, that's when Vicky said that she bought, she's buying a Tahoe for Brianna because she just loves to spoil her kids. She's like, no matter how old they are, you just love to spoil your children. So she says that, right? And even putting those little family stickers on the back of it. It's her, Ryan, the baby, me, and then just a symbol for cancer. Because I know that she, I couldn't find something handsome enough to be Brooks's face on the back of there.

And she didn't want it on her towel. So what are you going to do? And then I also took a little, I took something of the Declaration of Independence from Conjunction Junction animation show, whatever that was, and I put it on there and I pretended it's a life term insurance. Term life insurance. I can't speak English today. Too much Tahiti. You know, I didn't put anything

of Brooks on the car, but I did put a bumper sticker that says, don't feed cancer. Don't tell Brianna. And then I also put up a picture of the couch, which has been preserved thanks to Ryan. No feet allowed on the couches. Oh, gosh, I'd do anything for Brianna, you know.

Brianna, I love Brianna like cancer loves bread. Let's just, I said it there. I'm addicted. I also got her a bumper sticker from Mondelez. Social social. Always remember. So, what is the deal? I don't know if I've ever noticed this before or why it matters, but are they using the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Apple Loops at this point?

Has this show completely given up? Because the music was... I was like, wait a second. They don't use the same music on all the shows, do they? No. I was like, wait a second. They don't use the same music on all the shows, do they? No. And as long as they don't use the Real Houses of New York City swanky bassoon, I'll be happy.

Because that is pure, like, that's the sound of Luann arriving somewhere. It's like there's like a yeah it's like it's like luann is arriving to go browse dresses or to drink tea with someone like nothing says new york like horns coming out of a casio keyboard just do the theme in that they're like great um but it's it's not just any real housewives of beverly hills music it's the music that they play when they go to l's house. Yeah, it was like... It's the one where they're doing helicopter shots. Yeah. They're not allowed to put that, to sully

that music with... There are certain Apple loops that cannot be sullied. One is the Lisa Vanderpump mansion exterior music, and one is the Luanne Bassoon. Do not put those on other franchises. Those are proprietary yeah Lisa has swans okay that's like already she's nothing like these ladies yeah please stop so so

anyway so when they get to Tahiti I believe the next thing we see is they go out to dinner right and oh wait I'm so sorry I have one more note I'm so sorry I just keep talking about stupid things I have no notes so I'm relying on you But just because we're ragging on Tamara's Christianity, I love, love, love that Tamara said with a straight face, we'd love to spoil our kids. Like, you don't even know. It even says in the Bible you should help your family. Let's talk about all the help that Tamara gives her kids.

let's talk about all the help that tamra gives her kids she's like yeah i i mean look i let my son not put towels on shelves so i mean look that's what the bible said you know spoil your children spoil them rotten oh god you're doing a great job i'm sure that's what the bible meant the by if you're reading any part of the bible you should be reading the burning bush when when god's just like, just kill him. Just sacrifice him and move on. Stop putting us all through this pain, alright? I know, Tamara. The last thing we need is Tamara's interpretation of

the verses. Yeah. I think if anything in the Bible matches your history with your children, it's you reap what you sow, bat-ish. So anyway, yeah. So then Megan talks about Haley. Okay, that's next. So what happens – First of all, we have to talk about Megan wearing this strange Swami head wrap.

This is classic. She got this at the Huntington Beach flea market or something like that, some bedazzled head wrap with a giant marigold of jewels on her forehead that made her look like the world's worst fortune teller she i mean she any credibility that she had in any sphere of anything has been lost by this head wrap and she even made lizzie lizzie was wearing a a a pediflur thing on her head too and it made lizzie's look normal yeah lizzie was wearing like one of those baby glamour shot things yeah like lizzie lizzie's look normal yeah lizzie was wearing like one of those baby glamour shot things yeah like lizzie lizzie should have been the joke she was like trying to

cleopatra it up and uh instead lizzie skates by because what megan was wearing was so like above and beyond ridiculous and by the way i also would like to add that when they arrived at this dinner this beachside dinner lizzie showed up with all these bags she clearly was going to like give gifts of her swimwear to all the ladies, and the producers didn't even bother showing it. Oh, poor Lizzie. She's like, well, no one's shooting my gay husband anymore, but I'll

get these horizontal line outfits out there. I will get them out there. Lizzie doesn't have a gay husband. It's Danielle with a gay husband. Lizzie has the hot husband named Christian. Oh, I thought her husband was gay. Mm-mm. Oh, okay. Sorry. He's like a bro. He's a bro. Sorry about

misappropriating the gay husbands. He's gay as in happy. Oh, that's not even, that doesn't even count anymore. That's not real happiness anymore, okay? The gay is ruined if they stole it from the straight people, just like the rainbow. Oh, yeah. Appropriating everything. I wonder if those little care bears

ever knew that they were marching in a parade for gay rights rainbow stealers yeah there will be no no cakes for those care bears now so uh um so anyway so yeah so now they're talking about hayley and megan talks about how hayley is doing her independent study and she doesn't go to school and vicky's like what she doesn't go to school. And Vicky's like, what? She's not going to school? Well, she's ruined now. She's like, oh, yeah, she has to go to school.

She has no limit. She has no boundaries now. Oh, gosh. She doesn't have a job and she doesn't go to school. That's no accountability. You are hurting her as a parent. You're not even helping her. You're hurting her.

You know, you say you want to be her parent, but then you hurt her. Who abuses their children? You're a child abuser. That's what abuses their children? You're a child abuser. That's what I'm saying. You're a child abuser. Megan's like, God. Well, Megan is so dumb. Like, so, so dumb.

She makes this very simplistic but flawed comparison because she says, like, well, you know, on the one hand, Vicky's telling me that I'm not her mother. And that, you know, like, I shouldn's telling me that I'm not her mother and that, you know, like I shouldn't – like I'm not the mom. And then the other hand, Vicky's talking about spoiling her kids and then saying that I should like put up like boundaries. Like, which one is it, Vicky? Gotcha. It's like you're so stupid that you draw a comparison between those two things. She's saying – she wasn't saying you can't draw boundaries. You can't like put up perimeters. She's saying, you know, when you're

crying that you wish the kids were yours, wait till you have your own kids, you'll have a special bond. It has nothing to do with disciplining this kid. And also, when Vicky's talking about spoiling her child, it's because Brianna works. She's a nurse, you know? And she's spoiling her because she's older now and she's been

responsible and she loves her and she wants to shower gifts on her. That's what you do to good children, you know. But when your kid is like a fuck up like Haley and she has a quote unquote independent study that she can't even finish and she gets her her stock market stuff homework wrong, then you don't spoil them. Then you do put out boundaries. Megan King admins. Megan King admins megan king admins uh yeah that made no sense like one minute you one minute you want me to raise her in the next minute you just like like you don't even care like am i supposed to leave her for dead or am

i supposed to make sure she does her homework and shows up at her non-school once a month like shut up you're so stupid you're so stupid you're stupid and i was actually i i don't know if proud's the right word but i was impressed that vicky has stayed so calm i mean she's kind of a bitch like she maybe pushes it too hard where she's pushing this too hard and she is going after this young girl but you know she's not yelling and screaming or anything yet, and she's staying fairly calm, and her point is, even if, whether or not you agree with it, it's a sensible

point. You know, Vicky is often crazy, and she is ridiculous, and she's loud and brash, but there's certain things that I'm actually always totally in sync with her about. I think she actually has a good outlook on certain things about like working and raising kids oddly enough i mean i think her personal life is

obviously a disaster and she is tacky and ridiculous but there's certain times when she gets very principled and i'm kind of always like yeah i get it i think she's i think she's right and you know what if megan doesn't like it to to quote Shannon Bedore, well, if I'm not friends with a 30-year-old, well, then my life will still go on. Yeah. Whatever she said. Yeah, something like that. Close enough for this show. Yeah, and another reason Megan is stupid is because she keeps bringing up stuff that's just going to start the fight again. Instead of just saying, like, okay okay these women are obviously anti me acting like

i'm being this kid's mom she's like no but it is the same and i am her mother and then five minutes later she'll be like uh-oh hayley skipped her not school again it's like why are you giving them it's like oh hayley is literally literally drugs in a hotel again it's like oh and by the way hayley at this point is literally in a school where all she's learning is how to make knots. Here's a monkey knot. Here's a monkey face. Welcome to knot school.

Today we're going to work on a simple shoe tie. Haley's like, it's too hard. This is hard. I'm going to have Megan do it. And by the way, so Megan at this dinner is also like, there's an elephant in the room and i want to sincerely apologize to shannon like it was that my timing was off and then meg you know and and of course megan's like like saying how i did it because i'm the i

want to show that i'm the bigger person i'm like well then that's not really an apology you're just actually if you're doing it for an ulterior motive then you're just being a bitch again and you also got mad at shannon when when Shannon gave you a quote-unquote insincere apology about her being frosty to you on the phone. Yeah. Well, Shannon's just never going to forgive her. It's so funny. She's like, guys, there's an elephant in the room.

Shannon's like, oh, I suppose I'm the elephant. Great. Well, there's a lot of elephants in the room, so let's see if you're going to name me as the elephant or somebody else is lucky this time. Let's see, Miss Megan King Edmund. I'm sorry, Miss 30-year-old, that I got drunk and had some candy. But that does not make me an elephant now.

Okay. Miss 30-year-old. Which elephant do you want to talk about? It's the regular Barnum and Bailey circus over here. David, have you gone to the Barnum and Bailey circus? I will never look at an elephant in the room the same way again, David. David, I expect a full list of all the circuses you've been to with your mistress. And that way I'll know not to go to them ever again,

David. David. Please don't tell me you go to so late. Please! I have to see all again. So, oh, so then, with all this negativity and stupidity, it's so nice to get a romantic scene with Shannon and David. Shannon's at her hotel room and David calls.

And, you know, we talk about the invisible body language. Well, I guess it's not invisible, but we talk about body language a lot on this. And I think it's so funny that the phone rings and she's like, oh, it's David. Like she's visibly thrilled that David's calling her. Probably ask her for a loan, let's be honest. He's like, honey, did's David. Like, she's visibly thrilled that David's calling her. Probably ask her for a loan, let's be honest. He's like, honey, did you change a PIN account? Did you change a PIN on Wells Fargo again? But he's calling, and she's thrilled.

But then her body language, she immediately grabs her back. Yeah. Like, she immediately got a backache. She's like, oh, David. Oh, David. Oh, God, David. David.. She was like, oh, David. Oh, David. Oh, God. David. David.

Nebulizer emergency. David. David. She's like, thank you so much for sending all those X's and O's. Meanwhile, it's his mistress typing it. Her name is XO. Then she's like, wow, David, I've been getting those messages and texts. You've been vibing me, David. You've been vibing me, David.

David's been vibing me. David's been sending me so many texts. And not just texts. Vibes. Okay? David's been sending me vibers. He's like, hey, babe, where's that OXO scraper? She's like, oh, my God.

David's sending me X's and O's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, sorry. It was a viber from Davidid i'm gonna take this in private ground them ground them yeah ground those kids ground those brats oh god david yeah talk hot david talk hot what is a viber can you make somebody's phone just vibrate i feel bad that

shannon knows something about technology that I don't. Okay, so anyway. Dinner. Since this show is only about eating, basically, at the end of the day. It's like, where are we going to have our next meal? Wait, I think... Oh, thank God. Elephant in the room. Thank God.

I don't know. With these shows, it could just be the same thing in a different scene. I don't know. I think you've gone out of order. We already talked about this dinner. It was the same thing in a different scene. I don't know. I think you've gone out of order. We already talked about this dinner. It's the same dinner. The last thing I expected at this dinner was an apology from Megan King Edmonds. Edwards?

Megan King Edwards. You just can't surprise me. Edmonds. Edmonds. The last thing I expected was an apology from Megan. I didn't order an apology. You can't just come into a restaurant and bring somebody something they didn't order. What if I'm allergic to that?

What if an apology from Megan King Edmondss kills me then i'm gonna sue this place find him on the up oh no then vicky gave a speech like i don't know if somebody told vicky that she's being awarded with like the best friend award or the best mother I don't know but she was giving a Yolanda Foster thank you speech she's like guys I'd just like to thank you thank you so much for coming to Tahiti with me

and you know what thanks so much for accepting Brooks because two days before my mom died she said something about Brianna not liking Brooks and Tamara's like I could talk to Brianna yeah where'd that come from Tamara that'll be helpful Tamara you really helped last time yeah she's like, I can talk to Brianna. Yeah, where'd that come from, Tamara? That'll be helpful, Tamara. You really helped last time. Yeah. She's like, well, now that I'm a

Christian, I can speak the word of the Lord to Brianna. Yeah, and that's I guess basically how it ended with Vicky giving this speech about, like, I'm difficult, but you know, girls, I do it for your own good. I'm just here for you. I'm all of your mothers.

I'm the OG of the OC. So you know what? So next week, it looks like Vicky and Shannon get into a huge fight, which I knew was coming because there's the only reason why Bravo would ever show an episode where two women, or a scene where two women talk about how much they love

each other and are always going to be there for each other is if a fight is right around the corner and sure enough vicky and megan are going to get into a fight looks like it's over brooks and his cancer so next week looks like it'll be really fun although i'm sad i i don't like uh the idea of vicky and shannon fighting but yay life goes on in the oc i don't either, but I do like the fact that Vicky is picking on somebody that will not only not fight. I mean, Shannon will fight back with her to the death, but she'll do it in such a passive aggressive way. And Vicky's not used to that. She's used to aggressive aggressive. Yeah.

Well, also, to be fair, the clip made it look like that Shannon, if you were to follow the preview, if the story were to follow it, it looks like there was some psychic who said that Brooks' cancer isn't real. And then Shannon – it looks like Shannon told Vicky and Brooks this. And Vicky was so furious about it that she storms out of the restaurant. And you see Shannon be like, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it. I shouldn't have said it. I shouldn't have said it, which is strange because normally when there's a fight, no one ever immediately apologizes and takes immediate accountability for what they did. So it's like a little weird.

It's strange to see this on Bravo. Yeah. Yeah. So it's going to be interesting to see what happens there. But I am so glad that we're going to finally get to the fake cancer storyline because I cannot wait. I didn't know there was an actual doctor who's like, eh, his cancer. What did he say? No, no.

I think it's a psychic. It was a psychic. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. That's right. Because Megan's like, the, his cancer. What did he say? What did he say? No, no, I think it's a psychic. It was a psychic. Oh, God. Oh, yeah, that's right, because Megan's like, the psychic said the cancer's fake. And it's like, dun-dun-dun. Huge news. Although, the psychics on these shows are pretty good.

That's true. The guy was right about Vicky's mom being in the wall. Vic? You home? Vic? Brooks ate some Wonder Bread, Vic. Oh, i'm gonna kill him that's it brooks mom told me if the wonder bread doesn't kill him first so um let's move on to the dum-dums in atlanta on married to medicine let's do it so as usual the episode began i have notes for this ronnie so don't you worry um as, the episode began with some public domain music being like,

making moves, making moves. If you believe you're gonna make some moves, hey, hey. And then it cuts to Quad being like, child, I'm gonna be earning some coin-otronomy right now. I am focused on the coin- jilosophy. Girl. I'm gonna, I got

some moves to making, honey pie, sugar chop, baby cake! I'm like, alright, and what exactly I got some moves to make in Honey Pie Sugar Chime. I'm like, all right. And what exactly will you be doing? Are you going to be driving Uber also? Because I have a good promo code for you. I'm going to be making so many moves. I'm going to open a store, a move store.

People can come in and buy a move. Someone's calling me from Utica, New York. I don't know who that could be, but I am going to cancel that call. Who is calling me from Utica? New York. I don't know who that could be, but I am going to cancel that. Who is calling me from Utica? Is it the big penis ex-con who escaped? Did you like my moves, Utica? You can buy one now. So, yeah, Quad, she is going to be making money with a picture of a pup.

Also, can we please quote Quad? I have to quote Quad. I actually rewound it so I could quote it exactly. And it's nothing crazy, but Quad's first thing, she's having a business meeting or whatever on her coffee table, but she's having a meeting with this guy and she goes, what do we have to

do to get into Neiman's? I'm like, oh, God. God, help us. Miss Gilda Daffodil has it, honey. Miss Jill, the daffodil has it, honey. Still makes no sense. Lisa Nicole is cooking for her children.

Lisa Nicole talks. Once again, she reemphasizes that with all the craziness going on in her life and everything, at least she has her kids. She's so happy she has her kids. I'm like, oh, this is not good. If you have so much shit going on in your life and you're just devoting yourself to your kids, that means you are suppressing a lot of bad shit. At least I have my kids.

You have a TV show and a business and you're choosing to be with your children. Oh, this isn't going to go well for you. Yeah. No. But you can tell that she's like a real bitch when the cameras aren't on. Because, you know, she does that overly nice thing. And she does it to the kids. She's like, do you want some mac and cheese?

Oh, you do? You're a good girl. Do you want to make a thing? Oh, you're so good. I love how you do that, honey. Like, she's so nice that you know when the cameras aren't on. She's like, Mommy's not talking to you, bitch.

Get up to your room. Okay. Talks to kids like retards. I suspect she's evil. Don't say that, Ronnie. Oh. Sorry. What? Which part? Retards. That's not nice. talks to kids like retards I suspect she's evil don't say that Ronnie sorry what which part retards it's not nice oh whatever

listen I didn't call him heavenly let's just move on to heavenly I can't stand up for calling people retards some people are just retards it does not have to do with mentally disabled people it has to do with extreme slowness next time on watch where crap ends hey guys i'm really sorry i know i got a lot of messages on

facebook about saying the word retard so i'm sorry i guess i'm an asshole that's next time on watch where crap ends next time i'll be like yeah sorry everybody i just read it wrong in the comment section um heavenly's very busy oh god she's developing her app so she she goes to she goes to a developer right yeah she goes to a developer toya for all her business acumen and uh and toya's like oh i love dating that's what i call mastering my singleness what i should have done was date more people so I could be a more master than a single. I could be a single master. And I could have played golf in that Masters tournament.

People make fun of me because I don't got no books, but I spend all my time reading people. I love to read people. Like, yeah. Try words, Toya. Well, Toya learned a new word. She learned what the word peak meant. I think she learned all three definitions of, well, there's three different words,

but she learned how peak could be applied to three different words. So, peak, I thought peak was just like something that's on a bird. No, that's a beak. Oh, what I should do is read it beforehand. And she's like, peak, P-I-Q-U-E? What? That's crazy. That's not a word.

What I should have said was gone to the dictionary. And then, of course, Heavenly's like, See, man? Toy is stupid. She's stupid. I'm a cop. I don't worry about Toy. She is stupid. Dang, Toy.

And then Toy's like, Well, you know, we don't even need this developer. I got funds. We could do it. We could get it done in, like, three days. we don't even need this. We don't need this developer. I got funds. We could do it. We could get it done in like three days. Eugene knows everything about MS Word. We got an app immediately. Her dating app. She's like, this is one more step in building my empire.

Bitch, did you not Google me? Only an entrepreneur can do what I do. You have 30 business. Name one. Name one business. You're a dentist you're a dental office flipper a dentist you speak to grown women about like big sister issues like what the fuck lady i don't know what she's talking about but i love that she's gonna have an app and i love that she's obviously also never used nap okay yeah This lady's like, well, why would you have a dating app when

there's already so many? And she's like, I look around Atlanta and I see all these ladies. All they want is a man. And I can get a man. And I can keep him. I'm like, oh, no. And then she's like, she wants to initially name the app Heavenly because that's her brand. I'm like, you are so

stupid. You don't know anything about branding. She wants to name it Dr. Heavenly. Yeah. At least she had the good sense to know that that was a terrible name and change it to like Peak or Peak, which is not – which is a halfway decent name. It has to be short and rememberable. Rememberable.

Toya. Toya scene. It's rememberable. What I should have done is I have came here to this app development conference to look up all my creative ideas because I'm sort of like a caza of app development. So it has to be something short and quick, and it has to make sense with Heavenly's personality and her app. So they're just trying to come up with all these different words.

I don't know how nobody just came up with obey. You swipe it, and then you'll see what your man wants from you and you say yes and then if you don't want to you cry about it later and manipulate him do yeah that's pretty much it so blah blah blah

but I also have to say sorry this app killed me fucking heavenly you know these people they want to keep a man. I look at these. I look at these programs on the things, and you look at the people on the thing, and then you slide a screen, and then it tells you something about him. I mean, you know what I mean.

Yes, an app, okay? It's like you don't even know how the phone works. It's just like, sometimes I'll just put my finger on it, and it'll open. It's like you don't even know how the phone works. She's like, sometimes I'll just put my finger on it and it'll open. It's like it's taking my fingerprint. It's like, I don't even have to call people. I can just use this. I can text people.

She's so stupid. Her app's gonna be like an old voicemail system when you used to have to call your answering machine from like a pay phone and like dial in all the special codes. For a man that you don't care how fat he is press one nine seven nine seven para espanol learn english motherfucker it's gonna have like flashing html text on it we'll just look at my space okay'm done. So then we had a really stupid segment where Dr. Jackie was talking to us about gay babies for no reason. She's like, oh, there's so many more gay babies now. And, you know, because they can't have, you know, gay people can't have babies and I can't have babies.

So, you know, we like get each other. I'm like, no, this is so stupid. Oh, Dr. Jackie. She's got like one of those tie rotating racks and all the ties on it are ugly i do not want to hear about you being barren you're a hundred okay you're supposed to be barren you know well it's true like i'm so sick of these storylines on housewives where they're like i'm 60 i'm gonna try and have a baby no the bus has left okay it's gone stop it i'm not gonna cry for you the The cancer one, that was real. Okay. So that's one.

And then that's, I mean, it's still an ugly tie, though. And then, what's the other one? Oh, that fat bullhorn thing. So if she's in a scene, she's either talking about how she had to get up really early and she always works, or it's about cancer, fatness on other people, or

barren. Being barren. Shut up. Shut up. Just stop it. Shut up. I like you, Jackie. I like you because you actually are a very smart woman and you have like, you can usually read the social situations well, so please stop like degrading

yourself, your quote unquote brand, with all these really annoying storylines. Well, she's smarter. You know, she's like classier in a way. Well, in a huge way. I think she's classy and I think that she's smart, but I think all this stuff with the fit is the new it is stupid and I think like this

I mean, I actually did not object too much with her talking about like the fact that she can't have a baby. That actually did not like grate me as much in this scene. It just was like, why as much in this scene it just was like why are we watching this scene where we're talking about gay babies like it has nothing to do with anything and it's just it's stupid it's just it's just filler it's a filler on a show that has too much

filler you know i just think it's funny that she's so classy but once you're on reality tv you get suckered into the same traps like they might be classier traps but she still will pull the victim card in every scene if she if she can't you know victimize someone with her bullhorn she'll still try and sell shit because she's on tv so she might as well make some money you know it's like she's classier i guess but she's still following the same old blueprint yeah um so uh which you know no hate just pointing it out so okay so then we get to the good story. This is the longest podcast ever for really shows where nothing really happened. So let's just get to it.

The first main thing was Heavenly's relationship. What the hell is that? Having to obey your husband. And then she starts crying like a teenager. And literally acts like a teenager crying to her dad. She was squeaking. She was making some noises that I didn't know humans could make. It was full-fledged

squeak-a-thon. She's like, Daddy, but I'm back by the time I'm home from school. He basically was like, you're, like, I want you to be around more for kids, right? He was saying, like, you need to be around more because she wanted to develop the app.

And he's like, don't do the app because you are already spread too thin, correct? Yeah. And at one point she goes, I don't know what else I could do for you, Danny. I've already lost weight. I'm here with the kids. I'm like, oh, no. Like, don't be saying, like, you're supposed to be this independent woman. And you're like, I lost weight for you.

I'm raising – Yeah, she should be saying no. It's one thing. I understand. I think if you're in a relationship, it's like you – you should never change for your partner. But like I can understand like if you felt like doing certain things would make that person happier. I can understand that there's a certain give and take in a relationship. But you never want to do something that you don't want to do to make someone

happier like it's like you should be something like you're like yeah okay i'll do that yeah well one thing i like about her is that she's so like she's like i'll do whatever i want blah blah blah so whenever she turns into this right i don't know i lost weight for you kind of girl i don't like that and then uh anyway so they have that fight. And she tells us, I thought the whole point of submitting to your husband is that you could do whatever you want. Like, oh, my God. Now that is a Bible I can subscribe to. Do whatever your husband says, which means you can do anything you want. Sounds good to me.

But I think that that's hilarious. Then she goes, like a kid she goes i spent all that time submitting for nothing that's like toya applying to colleges yeah so then uh there's the toya and quad beef okay now this is funny because so quad came over because oh so eugene is having a big birthday party it's gonna going to be like five sausage scat rolls is going to be there. Should we get carrots, Mommy? And she goes, no, it's your daddy's birthday. So he could be happy for one day.

Yeah. Wow. So Quad came over because Quad was not going to go to the party because she does not want to be somewhere where there's going to be some drama, where someone, you know, where someone could throw a glass at her twice. As a woman with a business, I do not want to sit down at a table with a platypus face, little face, little face, daffodil. Flowers grow in the winter, not in my garden. Thanks. If there is a table with some legs on it, I'm going to use my feet to walk up the wall.

Toria's like, What I should have did. What I should have done was not invite her in the first place. So, so Quad was saying that she was mad at Toria because when everything went down between Quad and Lisa and Nicole, that Toya's first response would be like, Quad, what did you say? What did you do? And Quad was like, it was almost implying that it's justified.

Like, I shouldn't have said what I said. And it's like, well, she's right. I mean, like, you did really egg on Lisa Nicole when you were trying to be nice with her. You did pull out a file of quote-unquote, like, bullshit on national TV, and you did try to humiliate her. So, yeah, you probably did deserve to get some water thrown in your face, and we don't even like Lisa Nicole. We liked you more going into this season. Yep, and I like that Toria said that. She's like, well, I said that because on the phone you you was saying you were going to do a background check, and you

were going to tell everybody, and then she just kept going on and on. And she's like, I never said I was going to tell anybody! It's on TV, first of all. Yeah, because Toria was like, the reason why I said, what did you say, what did you do, is because you

were ranting and raving, saying that you were going to tell everybody about Lisa Nicole's you do is because you were ranting and raving saying that you were going to tell every everybody about lisa nicole's past you said you were going to like expose her to everyone and i was like no i was merely going to make a presentation thereafter thusly and heretofore when i have a friend i want to sit down with that friend and a folder because folders make things professional. And I want to read that folder to her. And then I want to change her life for the better. It's like, what are you talking about? You got a background check for $9.99 on Experian.

Shut up. I just love when Quad tries to sound professional and educated and smart. I mean, I actually, oddly enough, I used to really think that Quad was smart. And this season, it's all sort of gone out the window. You know, the fact that she's, I was merely going to make a presentation of the facts therein on the blackboard

of the windowsill of courtroom in Therefore Justice and Heretofore Nevertheless. That's being said. And your case is settled. Your Honor. Okay, Johnny Cochran. If the glove don't acquit, you can't fit the glove!

Thank you. OJ is now free. Thank you, Quad. So the difference is that Johnny Cochran was smart. So anyway, and then I think at some point, isn't this when Quad was like she brought over, she's like I brought over you a nice bottle of champagne. Um, yeah, so she's not going to go blah, blah, blah. I just love making fun of Quad trying to be fancy.

It is hilarious. She's like, I'm a owner of a business. A small business is going to be an industry. Like, okay. So, so the other fun thing that happened was Heavenly went on a double date. My whole business is going to be in industry. Like, okay. Fix your perfect pop. So the other fun thing that happened was Heavenly went on a double date with Jill and her husband. And it did not go well. That wasn't a double date.

That was Eugene's part. They just got their thoughts. Oh, that was the same thing? I was really out of it when I watched it. Oh, that was the same thing? I was really out of it when I watched it. And what was really funny was that when, was it Jill? I think when Jill and her husband arrived at the party, they saw I have a Lise Bentley and there was an air freshener in it.

It's classic Married to Medicine right there. Putting an air freshener, like a little tree, one of the little pine trees. Like a little tree, one of the little pine trees. As our listener Lance would say, Bentleys do not get air freshened. Bentleys air freshen. Yes. Or freshen air, I guess.

He would use better English than me. Well, it's like every time someone shows up driving a Rolls Royce, I mean, people, it's like driving a limousine to where you're going. You're supposed to be driven in them. Oh, my God. What a pretty beyond your means. How's that working out for you? Is it good on gas? When do you have to give it back to Gretchen and Slade?

I know you got a timeshare on this lease. Oh, that poor guy is probably still sleeping in a used parking lot in a sleeping bag in the back of that thing. God will not let this go! So they started discussing, I guess Heavenly doesn't know this girl, so she's like, so Jill, what do you do? And Jill's like, oh, I'm a lawyer. Is she a lawyer, or

she just works at her husband's firm? She works at her husband's firm. Her husband, I think, is a plastic surgeon. She works at her husband's firm. I can't do the Jill voice today, because it's like my throat cannot. And is Jill a doctor? Because Heavenly was like, why don't you start your own firm?

Why are you working at your own firm? I think Jill is in the vein of Gail from Secrets and Wives. Yes. She has a ceremonial office. Well, that's definitely what Heavenly thinks.

Yeah. I almost called her Heavenly. That is so rude. That's so rude. She lost all that weight for what Heavenly thinks. Yeah. I almost called her heavily. That is so rude. That's so rude. She lost all that weight for her husband. I know. She's like, well, I want my own business. Why would you work for someone else?

You are a woman of power on your own industry. I've got 37 businesses of my own. Yeah. I didn't necessarily disagree with Heavenly, but I also thought it was pretty rude of her to be just saying that to her it was really rude because Heavenly said she said that she thinks that

women who work for their husbands can't cut it elsewhere and that she flat out said that yeah she said that in the confessional when they work for their husbands they're doing it so they can say their work so that they have something to do but really they're just playing at their husband's job.

I don't totally disagree. I don't totally agree. I think there are many husband and wife duo teams where it's legit. I do think though on Bravo reality shows I think when you see people like Gail

on Secrets and Wives, yeah, Heavenly is absolutely right. Well, one thing we know about Heavenly from this episode, or a couple things, she's got 97 businesses. So do any of them actually work? Because a business that actually makes you money, you have to work really hard. Look, I work in a business where I don't make any money, and I still have to work really hard. So if you're going to make money, you actually have to work at that one job. So I don't make any money And I still have to work really hard So if you're going to make money You actually have to work at that one job So I don't buy that she's successful

B, she's so stupid That she's going to fund her own app When the lady told her it was $30,000 She's like, I got that Why am I going to ask somebody else for their money? Why? I enjoyed the shade that she threw When she was like, I'm not like Quad

who needs to get an investor she's like, I'm gonna fund it myself I like that shade, it's funny, but you're really stupid investing your own money in your own app you are stupid and by the way, I apologize to Gail from Secrets of Wives because she does have a job

she designs blazers for the slutty receptionist so I apologize, you have a role and it's very important she's like i have covered some poops how dare you he has a smock he has a smock for all the receptionists so jill on it smock so jill couldn't win this one so she started her crazy white girl blink she's like blink blink blink blink and then she's like felix the cat it's like, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. She's like Felix the Cat. She's like, what do you think about at the cheetah when Lisa Nicole attacked me and when she told me all that stuff?

And Heavenly's like, well, that is interesting because I've never been to a strip club where the girls come up and say, you know, personal business because that's how they make their money, girl. I mean, who's going to come up and just give their black book up on TV? Nobody does that. Someone made her do it. Someone made her.

I don't know who. I don't know. Maybe a name rhymed with, can't start an industry on my own. I have to work my husband. I don't know. Well, they get into this whole ridiculous argument about whether or not strippers, well, Heavenly thinks that strippers are basically whores and jill thinks they're they're empowered and they're doing it you know they a lot of them like to do it etc and she can't and yeah well and heavenly was saying

that they do it because they don't realize they have another they have other choices in life um and jill's like no like if they're of course they know of course they know and then Jill's husband started he's like you know a lot of my clients are strippers and many of them are nurses on the side or even dentists excuse me

and you could just see Heavenly furious at the insinuation that there's a dentist stripper out there which by the way I also do not believe there's a dentist stripper but there. Which, by the way, I also do not believe there's a dentist stripper, but go on. That husband was not having her. He was not going to take her shit and, uh, what did he

say to her that got her so mad? Oh, she said, he said, I don't know, you know, there's some dentist and blah blah blah, and then she... I like to talk to women. I like to talk to women, not to men. Oh, yeah. She said, there's no dentist stripper or something.

And he's like, well, you know, you assume. Like you say, you're assuming that there's no. And she's like, I don't like to talk to men. Yeah. And Jill's like, oh, my God. Who says that? She's like, nope. I ain't going to speak to a man.

And he leaves. And she's like, come on. It was to a man then he like and he leaves and she's like come on it's just a joke well are you really leaving are you leaving and then the husband who this girl's gonna fit right in on the show because the husband is a bitch and in atlanta that's gonna get you farther than your wife being a bitch sometimes well you know you can see he has no tolerance for any of this reality show business you can see he absolutely hates it yeah and you can see the absolutely hates heavenly's guts i mean heavenly so stupid to be going after someone with a brain like this like this is not his bimbo wife okay you're coming after like an actual intelligent person okay he's not like some hot model that she like lucked out with and they won

the lottery okay she is working for her intelligent homely man he is not going to take your shit and he didn't either i'm not going to talk to man and then he said in the uh confessional or whatever what do you call it the diary room whatever he said that was like shot on like a cell phone jill and her husband got like the shittiest production value yeah it was like shot on their facetime yeah and the other end was just heather paused in a fishnet dress in tahiti yeah trying to be sexy um but he said he said something like well you know in the medical in the medical field i mean i don't know how it works for dentists but the saying amongst doctors is i was like you go because she is gonna hate you forever now yep you don't care he doesn't care he's like he's successful this is just something as a show

his wife wants to be on he doesn't give a fuck he doesn't give a fuck if he if he annoys a dentist yeah a dentist app developer motivational speaker yeah So then the party begins and everybody else starts arriving and blah, blah, blah. Basically, the only fight here is because Simone announces to everybody that she is going to be having a basketball party against the women and the children. And Lisa Nicole's like, basketball, maybe I'll be a cheerleader for basketball. Could one team be hangers and I can cheer for them to all be put back the correct way yeah um and simone's like well unfortunately there will be hangers but you will not be receiving it in invitation to my party and a i'm hoping that you're not taking it personal but you're a bitch and i hate you and i hope you die yeah i actually thought it was a pretty classless move by Simone

because if two women are having a beef, let them decide who's going to show up or who's not going to show up. Like, don't, I don't know. I think it's, I'm of the mindset these days of, you just invite, you invite people, whoever you want to invite, and then you don't, and then you just don't,

like, you let them figure it out. Or if there's one, if one of the two, you really just don't want to invite, if she wanted Quad there and then you just don't like you let them figure it out or if there's one if one of the two you really just don't want to invite if she wanted quad there and she didn't want at least like she wanted quad there more than lisa nicole then you know what you do you don't invite lisa nicole and then you also don't bring it up in front of her as as if it was an invitation and then say oh no but you're not invited just have the event don't invite her and um deal with the repercussions later yeah what, what the hell, man? This is so stupid. Nobody wants to go to your stupid basketball party anyway.

But that she acts like this. You know, she's one of my favorites. So whenever she acts stupid, I feel embarrassed. You know, it's like when your team loses. And I really hate when my team, no matter what show they're on, I hate when my team is so stupid that they go uh try to kiss the ass of the person who's on their way out like learn to pick a horse for christ's sake lady i mean that lady is not even showing up to shoot with anybody she is not going to be around next season don't separate

yourself from everybody else yeah i like you and i love how mad everyone got about this it's just a stupid basketball game with the kids against the moms. Like, who cares? Because Simone's such a hypocrite. She's like, well, you know, the difference here, because they were calling Simone out because she's always yelling and shouting and getting out of control with Toya. And they're like, well, you scream at her. And she's like, well, the difference is that this got physical, Lisa. And Lisa, you know, they make it sound like she pulled out a baseball bat and beat the shit out of Quad.

Well, it is a little different. I mean, if I were inviting people to a party and one person threw a glass at someone's face, even though Quad is overreacting and pressing charges, which she shouldn't. someone's face even though quad is overreacting and pressing charges which she shouldn't but if one person threw a glass you know that is grounds to be like listen i'm not inviting you because you did throw a glass at her last time and you know whatever but she should have just led with that and just and and just been like you know uh like in this case like you know and because lisa does have to kind of own up to that a little bit more than she has been um well that's what i liked about simone when simone finally started going off on her and stopped this fake quad thing that she's doing

her fake customer service quad thing when she actually went after her and she was like no you know I'm sorry but doing all of this shit doing all of this shit to her wasn't cool and you're a total hypocrite and saying that you're you know you want everything to be fixed but

you won't take responsibility for anything like yes she threw a glass well she came after my she came after my family like and i get that like you know i would be furious too but you know this is what a lot of real housewives do these days or bravo stars is that like anytime anyone says anything about their kids it's totally classless when that happens and it it's bad. And, you know, mama hens should or mama bears should like stick up for their kids and their families. But it's almost as if it's almost like people hide behind that at this point. People take advantage of that. And you know what?

I really commend Dr. Jackie. This is where I like Dr. Jackie. Because Dr. Jackie said in the confessional, she goes, all these women think they've been given license to react and act any way they want if somebody crosses a line. She goes, uh-uh, that's called being a child. And I was like, you know what? She's absolutely right. I mean, and I love that she said it in such a condescending way because she's right.

You don't have license to act. You don't have license to throw a glass in someone's face because someone does something nasty like that, you know? What you have a right to do is either walk away or shut them down or just you know decide you're just never gonna be friends with them anymore or you know but um but dr jack is absolutely right in that situation yeah i like how she's like listen that is acting like a child and i will accept a child but not a fat child fit is the new it so that wraps us up for the day Everybody And I'm actually looking forward to Marriage Menace next week

Because Some guy tells Is it Lisa Nicole or Toya or someone Basically like why is Lisa Nicole's Husband sleeping with me Oh yeah the gay setup The non-quad gay setup That I'm sure quad had nothing see like why is lisa nicole's husband sleeping with me oh yeah the gay set at the quad the non

quad gay setup that i'm sure quad had nothing at all to do with this queen comes up to her on the on the blue carpet because you know that shit ain't red whatever they're opening there it's probably like a cole's opening and he's like well let's talk about lisa nicole and she's like oh no i'm gonna leave that in the soil that ain't gonna be gardened honey and he's like well but someone needs to ask her why her husband's sleeping with men's and by the way he doesn't sound anything like that i'd like to add he was not super effeminate yes he was he's like they need to ask her why she's sleeping with the men's yes if his voice was higher he would have been squeak from the color purple sorry he didn't say

the men's did he i thought he said me he said Men's, did he? I thought he said me. He said he's sleeping with me. Oh, I thought he said The Men's. No, I think he said me. Damn Atlanta accent. Either way. Either way, it's going to be good. Something to look forward to.

So anyway, thanks everybody so much for listening. You can find us on podcast. Yeah, it was fun. It's fun doing this loopy. Can I give like a totally shameless plug for something? Do it. It's the doing this loopy. Can I give a totally shameless plug for something? Do it. It's the end of the podcast since I mentioned it. I have this Uber promotion.

And if anyone wants to become an Uber driver, if you use the code MB3JD, I think you get like $100 or something like that. So if anyone was thinking about being an Uber driver and earning some extra cash, and I do Uber drive on the side and it's really fun, be sure to use that code MB3JD. Yes, that was a shameless self-promotion. And then after a long day of driving your car, you can come home and relax on your Casper mattress and possibly read Next Issue on your iPad

if they ever renew with us. I know, exactly. I also have a Lyft code, but I won't go too crazy renew with us. I know, exactly. I also have a lift code, but I won't go too crazy. One a day, Ben. That's Ben1117. Oh, God. Okay, everybody. Thank you so much. If you want to subscribe for extras

and stuff, come to our patreon.com slash watch what crappens page. And for blah, blah, blah, Facebook stuff, to come post there, to talk with us during the shows, to talk shit with other listeners during the shows, come to Facebook.com slash Watch What Crappens. For all of our personal links, go to Watch What Crappens. Thank you for everybody who supports this podcast monetarily and with your ears for free because that is huge support, and we are loving doing it. And this has been a fun one Ben thank you darling

I know and everyone we have our I believe we have our Patreon hangout this Thursday I was going to ask you if we could do it next Thursday okay we'll do it next Thursday next Thursday because I haven't slept and I have a feeling that Thursday is going to be sleep day and also it's Big Brother Day again

God help us God help us. God help us all. Actually, on top of that, I'm going to go to Michelle Collins, our lovely friend and occasional Watcher Crappin's guest and now co-host of The View. I still can't believe.

She's moving to New York and she's doing one last comedy show in LA ThursdayA. Thursday night. So this way, I'm going to go to it. It's at 8 o'clock at UCB on Franklin if anyone wants to go and buy tickets. So I'm going to go. This way, the Hangout does not bump up against that. So, okay, perfect.

Yeah, and also, I think we're doing Wednesday now because Big Brother's on Thursday. Remember? Wednesday Hangout? Yeah. That's what we did last month. We were going to switch them, whatever, we'll figure it out You know that we'll end up telling you guys Five minutes before it happens

And then it'll take an hour for me to figure out How the computer works I will set up that hangout That's one thing that I'm really good at I know how to set up that hangout pretty easily So I will take care of that Rondall Yep, still don't get it

Okay everybody, you don't need to hear all that, but why stop talking now, really? Let's just talk for 15 more minutes about things. Might as well. Bye, everybody. I'm going to find out who from Utica called me. See you later, everybody. Bye. Thank you.

Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Slicing, driving friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me,

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