Watch What Crappens - #211: New Beginnings, Old Toasters

Episode Date: August 14, 2015

Ben and Ronnie take on the RHONYC season finale and all its controversies: toasters, Ramona's attitude, LuAnn's haughtiness, and Dorina's slurring. Then it's on to "Flipping Out" and all the bad plumbing therein. Come listen! You can donate to us at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crap is. Crap is.

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just absolutely love to watch. And then talk about, right here on this podcast. I'm Ben Nadelker. Welcome to a podcast talking about the podcast. It talks about a podcast about Bravo, guys. It's very recursive. It's like Inception of Bravo. I'm Ben

Mandelker from bsideblog.com and also the Banter Blender podcast. I should do another episode of the Banter Blender. I haven't done one in a while. Have you not been doing it, Ben? I've been lazy. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe I'll do one tomorrow. I've got an open sketch. uh i'm ben but make it into heaven ben i'm ben and that other ghostly voice that you might be hearing that's ronnie carom from trash talk tv.com what's up ronnie well hello everybody

i'm so happy to be here i know ronnie i'm sorry. I didn't do the typical list of superlatives to introduce you. So let me say it again. I have none today, Dunning. I don't deserve any. That is the funny. No, you deserve it all. That is the funny, deserving, wonderful, charming, sweet, lovely, and occasionally British Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com.

Don't be nice to me. I can't take it. Yay. We did it. We're here. We did. We're caffeinated. I would like to thank everyone for coming. I can't take it. Yay. We did it. We're here. We did. We're caffeinated. Thank everyone for coming.

Oh, yes. Yes. And who else? So, wow. As you can probably tell, we are caffeinated and we are ready to podcast. We just recorded our bonus episode of the week. Yes, that was so fun. the week actually that was so fun well for those of you don't know what the bonus episode is is that you can go to patreon.com p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com forward slash watch what crap happens and uh guess

what that if you uh support us there you get access to a bonus episode this week we went through bravo's real housewife awards which is rip-off of our crappy awards. And we went through every category. A rip-off of their A-list awards. Exactly. It's just a simulacrum at this point. Basically, we went through every category and we talked about all the nominees and who

we felt was most deserving in every single stupid category. And we had a lot of fun and now we are amped up because we just went we are amped up, because we just went to an award show! Yeah, we just went to an award show, and David was filling all the seat fillies. Yeah. Also, we had a lot of rage about Real Housewives of New Jersey being up

for anything, much less something in every award. I mean, that is really reaching, Bravo. The only thing more insulting than having a fake award show that we haven't been invited to is nominating Real Housewives of New Jersey in that fake award show. Not cool, man. Well, thank you for at least devaluing the thing we weren't invited to online. Yeah.

So anyway, if you want to hear our thoughts on the Real Housewives awards and the categories, we encourage you to go to patreon.com forward slash watch where crap ends. Sign up there if you haven't already and support us there there and you will find uh find a way to hear the bonus episode um also on facebook.com forward slash watch for crappins if you like us there you can be part of a really fun active vibrant watcher crappins community which continues to be funnier and funnier every passing hour. Just some highlights from just even since our last episode. Last episode, we were making some jokes about a fictional person named Gondola Price being the new cast member of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And people have just taken that and run with it on our Facebook page and cracking all sorts of jokes. Posting photos.

And they're putting up pictures and stuff. Yeah. Someone even, let's see if they're putting up pictures and stuff. Yeah, someone even, let's see if I can even find who it was. Someone was like, what would a Gondola Price's tagline be? But of course now it's buried. That question's buried.

All this other shit people are posting. But I keep on thinking about it. I'm trying to imagine what Gondola Price's tagline might be. I'm actually looking for birthdays because we're supposed to be saying happy birthday. We already missed any Adams Brabano. Or did we say happy birthday? we're supposed to be saying happy birthday. We already missed Emmy Adams-Burbano. Or did we say happy birthday? I don't remember. We didn't.

We didn't give Emmy a birthday shout out. We should because Emmy is wonderful. But we have to give a happy birthday to Ashley Fishback from my love David. David gives Ashley Fishback a happiest birthday. Ashley Fishback help me. Help me. Ashley Fishback, I happiest birthday. Ashley Fishback, help me.

Help me. Help me. Ashley Fishback, I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful birthday. And I hope you do nothing but listen to our podcast for 24 hours straight. Right? Isn't that what we want? That's a lot of crazy on your birthday, girl. Anyway.

Anyways. Anyways, and you can follow us on social media because we have Twitter. We have the Instagram. And you go to WatchWhatCrapHands.com to hear that, to follow us. So I'm loopy today because I finally caught up on all my big brothers. And that shit was

crazy. I was just in my house for a week talking to myself day in and day out. It was so fun. But I'm so tired and I haven't slept. But man, I just want to keep doing that. Like, just being in my house talking to myself. But and day out. It was so fun, but I'm so tired and I haven't slept. But man, I just want to keep doing that. Like just being in my house talking to myself. But if I'm loopy, that's why. You'll be like Steve from Big Brother. I love Steve.

Oh no, that's the dentist. Steve is a little Jewish kid. Why does he hate Becky? Did we ever figure out? Well, he mentioned on last night's episode that, because I guess she's targeted him a few times as like a pawn or whatever. But he's always out of the loop on everything. So he doesn't like that.

Oh, okay. Anyway, it's not about Big Brother. Sorry. Anyway, so I found what I was talking about before. So Noah Sintek wrote on our page, what would Gondola Price's taglines be? So Morgan Adolph said, if the gondolas are rocking don't come a knocking laurie ann cummins wrote uh cummins wrote try to row me away and i come flying back i wrote and i wrote i actually threw in a thing in the towel i said

sit down if you're rocking my boat. It's a little Guys and Dolls reference. Some people say that you can't fly up a mountain with oars as your wings. I'm here to prove them wrong. That's too long, right? How about, if people try to make a mountain out of a molehill, I'll just take a me to the top. hill, I'll just take a me to the top. Plenty of people who ride me get motion sickness.

If you try to rock me, you're going to wind up in the drink. I'm terrible at this. I don't care if the water's dirty, as long as it's rich. I will sing to you all I want, but the moment you don't pay me, I'm throwing you in the Venice

canals. No, that's very clunky. Very clunky. Yeah, you see, she's not an easy one to write for, this Gondola Price. She's gonna be the bane of our existence. She's tough. I can't decide if Gondola Price... I can't tell if she's like a Dorinda type, or if she's more of a Lisa Vanderpump Gondola Price type. I just't decide if Gondola Price. I can't tell if she's like a Dorinda type or if she's more of a Lisa Vanderpump Gondola Price type.

I just can't tell which way she goes. I don't care if it's a ski mountain or a beautiful ocean. I'm ready to dip my oars in. It's not working. I may be up a creek, but I won't be without a paddle. We are going to get this poor girl fired before she even starts before she even exists

gondola price i'm really excited for gondola price i feel like she's gonna mix things up i think she's gonna become uh friends with lisa first um but then i think she is going um to be a wedge between l and Kyle, perhaps. I was just... This isn't the one... Okay, there's another one who's supposedly they're looking for on New York. They're trying to get for New York. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking

about, as usual. But they're trying to get this new chick for New York, and she jet-sets around the world, taking pictures of sunsets on her rich, fabulous vacations and selling them in art galleries. You know what? Fuck off. I would be so pissed if I went to an art gallery and some bitch was like, oh, yes, here was our vacation in the Nile.

Look at this sunset. Could you imagine? That's a full on Yolanda Foster art gallery right there. Like, oh, you know, I'm just so sick of going to the Amalfi Coast, David. I have an art gallery. We have Bella's first pair of shoes there. Like, oh, you know, I'm just so sick of going to the Amalfi Coast, David. I have an art gallery. We have Bella's first pair of shoes there. And then

if nobody wants them, we'll give them to the other one. We'll have our manservant Anwar take them to the other one. By the way, speaking of galleries, Mally Johnson posted on our page, this is

very important. Very, very important. Three years ago today, Gaga Girls premiered on Bravo, aka Gallery Girls. Gaga Girls. Three years ago today. It's a and it's a shame that that

show is not still with us. It was wonderful. In fact, speaking of the crappies, it won our first, I believe, the first golden crappie for best Bravo TV show of the year. Yeah. Man, you've got to be real class to win that award. Yeah. I think Vanderpump Rules won this last year, just barely edging out Game of Crowns. Oh, you see?

You see? We know how to pick them. Game of Crowns, probably gone you see? You see? We know how to pick them. Game of Crowns, probably gone. Galler Girls, probably gone. Vanderpump Rules has escaped us so far. Yeah, I think the reason why we gave it to Vanderpump Rules is because Vanderpump Rules actually won so many of our award categories that it just kind of felt like it had to be,

that Vanderpump Rules would just sweep the crappies. I know. It's just that normally if we pick a show it dies, and that one escaped us, but I think it's because I really hated that show the first year, so I didn't really love it, so maybe that's why it stayed on, because I hated it so much. But then it stayed on, and now, of course, Obsessed!

Well, nothing on Vanderpump Rules ever dies. That's all you got. You can't kill that one off unless you have some industrial grade disinfectant. And by the way, there is some Vanderpump Rules gossip, which is that Stassi is rumored to be back. Because I guess she was dumped by her boyfriend. And now she's apparently living with Krystal and they are best friends. Who does that?

Of course, that pathetic piece of trash, Stassi. Come on, Stassi. Aren't you better than that? You publicly quit a show and diss everybody on it. And then the second you get dumped by your boyfriend, you come crawling back, darling. I don't even think she's going to be on the show. I think she's just going to be bitching the car with Kristen. And Kristen's going to be like, you won't believe what happened today at work.

Tom was flirting with that girl that he cheated with. Well, Kristen's been fired. So I don't know. I mean, between the two of them, maybe they'll open up like a little taco stand down Robertson Boulevard. You know, I don't know. You'll be like, you need to steal more of those goat cheese balls or we're going to have nothing to fill the tacos with, Kristen. Who does that? Who does that?

It's my birthday. I'm looking forward to that show coming back There should be some good stuff between Jax getting arrested And Stassi crawling her way back I just hope that Stassi is no longer dressing like Lady Bird Johnson I want her to be youthful And bitchy again Yeah It was too fast where she was like

I'm going to be a rich wife And so she started dressing in QVC clothes and stuff. It's like, no, honey, it's going to take a little more than that. I know. And she gained weight. It was a disaster. She needs to get back to her prime shallowness. After the baby, darling.

After the baby. That's when you just become yourself. All right. Before then, you're a skinny bitch. You don't eat. You take everyone down to keep your job on television. Now, darling, go write an editorial for Divine Addiction, alright? Three things you learned

while being dumped Instagram's hurtful eh um, eh who does that? See, seriously really and in conclusion,

really? Seriously? 86 is a decent possible husband. And in conclusion, literally, if you've made it to the end of this article, I would just go outside and hang myself. Like, why am I even alive?

You are so pathetic. You deserve to be torn apart by alligators on pickup trucks. Seriously. It's like as sad as anybody who has a birthday on the same day as me. Like, congratulations. You'll always not be first place. My birthday is a special day. It's a time when Katie gets things thrown on her, okay?

It's a time when Katie gets things thrown on her. Okay? It's my birthday! And she was also too mature to have her big birthday thing this year. I don't know. I don't know why I read these articles with Stassi. Look, I called her a stupid piece of trash, but apparently I've read every article that she's ever done since she's been alive. So there you go. I'm a hypocrite.

I love you, Stassi. That's the truth. Come back! Come back. so there you go I'm a hypocrite I love you Stassi that's the truth come back come back we want the truth is that the last season of Vanderpump Rules was entertaining but it wasn't nearly as juicy as the first two seasons so they need to get

their scandals going yeah but it was also very gratifying to me because I really like when people are raised by parents who tell them how wonderful and amazing they are. And then they go out into the real world and they realize, oh, wait, I'm not. I'm a waiter and some piece of shit D-lister

who still has to be a waiter to keep her job. Like, this sucks. And I like watching people get humbled or like the fact that she got told off and then lost her job and then lost her boyfriend. Like, there's something about that that makes me like a bitch. It's like a sharp rock in the ocean, and then it just gets worn down, darling.

And then before you know it, you're putting it in the microwave, putting it on Panty's back, and, you know, praying to God that it's all going to work out with gay husband, darling. Oh, darling, she's just like a pebble that's been in a tumbler for 48 hours, just smooth, lovely jewelry trinket trash. Be my heartstone, Stussy. Yes. Alright. Why are we talking about these bitches? I don't know, but I love it. Why don't we move

on to Real Housewives of New York City. Let's do it! Season finale. Season finale. Something really odd has happened on the Real Housewives of New York. Really, really weird.

Where they set up the parties for the fights. And I've noticed it happened on Beverly Hills this year, too. The finale is like the big fight thing. And everybody's supposed to go. And there's a huge brawl. And then they have it out at the reunion, which they do at this reunion uh as is rumored but i've noticed that that's just failing lately they can't do it like they keep setting up these parties but the women all know the drill now and they know when they're being manipulated

well except sonia she's still but everybody else seems to know and so they're just not fighting they're like oh we'll just have manners and well the's over the new york women you know they have fights but their fights are never like on the same level as orange county fights or even beverly hills you know they were back in the in the zarin days they got they had fights i mean they had feuds and everything and they would they would fight but the fight for instance this week was no different than the fights in other weeks. You know, the only difference is that there was there wasn't as much awkwardness involved with this fight because it was I guess maybe we're just so used to them fighting in public. You know, it seems like they're all like tired of the same job. You know? Yeah.

It's like, well, I heard that Kristen said and Sonia, you know, coming in with her fucking bow from her headpiece intern or whatever. She's ready to fight. And then Kristen's like, eh, no. Yeah, well, before we get to that, why don't we start at the top where Sonya's at home and she's tinkering on computer number three. And Ramona comes in. And this is after the fashion show. She's like, I just want to say you did a wonderful job last night on the fashion show. And it reminds me of this one time when I was a child.

I went to a science fair, okay? And I made a toaster out of light bulbs. And I made a cookie. And my dad said, that's okay, but I've seen it better. And I just cried the whole rest of the day, okay? So I can't give you huge amounts of applause because it reminds me too much of my father and how he withheld all sorts of praise. Okay? I'm sorry.

At the end of the day, you turned a terrible toaster that no one wanted to buy into a lovely dress that looks like it's from Dillard's. And people, you know, maybe people will buy it. I might steal one from one of you. You know? I mean, that's something. I'm proud of you, hon. I'm proud of you? You know? I mean, that's something. I'm proud of you, hon. I'm proud of you. You know what? Your dresses, they remind me of this

one look that Geraldine Parsons-Smith used to wear, and I used to love it, and I said, can I borrow this? And she said, no, you can never have it because you're ugly. Okay, so to this day, I can't wear those sorts of dresses. I'm sorry, Sonia, I can't wear your dresses. I like that Sonia's so full of shit. Like, we don't all know that she's living a

great garden's life where the electricity is only on when people are in the house. Or, you know, like she won't turn on the air conditioning or the hot water in her house. I mean, we know she's full of shit. So when I see her on the phone, Ramona is about to come over and she's like, what? Queen of England? What did you hear about my friends on the red carpet? It's like, shut up, Sonya. No one is calling you from page six

get out of here i know oh what a shock she's here she is ramona singa sting a sting sting and then ramona's like pretending there to be she's there to be supportive and she's like i'm so proud of you that you know your, your dresses didn't electrocute any interns like those toasters. You know, look at me. I'm new. I'm new. Like you think. I'm new and renewed.

It's like she immediately turns it to herself. Yeah. I know. Well, she was like, yeah, I just came from church. Okay. I was at church and I was praying. All right. And I was thinking to myself, you know what?

I pray that Sonia can start up computer number four because I know she really needs the parts for it. Okay? Oh, that is funny. She just came from Ash Wednesday. That shit was hilarious. Well, I loved also Sonia was like talking about like the success of her fashion show. She's like, you know what? Like I'm building a brand that I own and will be around for a long time.

I'm like, that's right. It's literally going to be in boxes and in the corner of marshals for a very very long time and sonia i love her she's like well you know we just got all of this done with my line so i have time to go party and go on vacation i'm like that is not a real business you liar it's like the season is over all right box up the little indian guy we had out here deflecting bethany questions let's move on with it. Yeah, seriously. So then... Seriously. Seriously. So then Ramona's

talking about her fight with Bethany, you know, and everything. And she's saying, you know, all I did, I was talking to Heather, okay, I was talking about Bethany, I was talking about, you know, how her first marriage failed, and, you know, I should never have said it. It was just a conversation. It was a conversation. And

Sonia goes, yeah, you're brainstorming. Like, what? You're brainstorming. I don't even know the proper terminology, darling. I love that. And Ramona's defense. What? We were talking about it. It was a conversation. Why am I getting in trouble for a conversation? I don't understand.

Yeah. I just went to Catholic Church. I got an ass cross on my head. You know what they were doing? They were having a conversation there. Is Jesus going to come down and burn down the church? No. The preacher was just conversing. That's all. I mean, what are you going to sue him? Sue the preacher. Sue the Bible, all right? It's just trying

to converse with you. You know, there were a lot of hot guys at that church. You know what? I was like, I see a lot of men here, you know? I was like, I want to make a move, you know? But you know what? They're all bartenders, though, so I'm not going to go. One thing Jesus knew, don't date a bartender.

Did he ever date a bartender? No. So why should I? It's a conversation I'm having, that's all. You know, there was this one hot guy, and he was so hot, and I was like, you know, I could see he was making moves on me, and he was looking at me, and then like, yeah. I could see he was making moves on me. He was looking at me. And then at one point, he tried to offer me wine. And I was like, oh, you're just a bartender.

No, Ramona, that was actually the priest I think you were doing. You're supposed to do your communion there. Oh. I'm sorry. I just don't understand this dating and this religion, you know? Like I'm trying to understand how it's working now because Mario's not here. And I go to church and I hear all of this, let Jesus come into you. And I'm like, when did the Catholic church change so much?

You know what I want to do with this church? I want to demolish the inside and make it the second location for AOA, okay? It's closer to my house. We're going to put down a big checkerboard floor. So Sonia was giving her a little shit, which was fun. Because Ramona, of course, every year has a renewal or something. I'm new and improved. New beginnings.

New beginnings, okay. So, she has one every single year. And Sonia's like, I don't understand. What's the transition? I mean, last year, you were divorced and miserable. And this year, you're getting divorced and miserable. I mean, what's the difference? And she's like, but this year it's all about me, because other years

I've been a wife and a mother and, you know, my whole life has been about everybody else. I'm sure your life has ever been about anybody else. Yeah. Name the time. Name the period in your life even before your ass was famous. Well, there was that one afternoon when I allowed someone else to wear Ramona blue.

That was when it was not about me. Okay? Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And for you to think otherwise, it's day class A. I'm sorry. You know that Ramona was the kind of mother who would be like,

Listen, I cannot believe you're stressing me out right now at your ballet recital. All right? It's your ballet. I paid for these classes. All of my friends are here, and you look fat in your outfit. All right? You're stressing me out. It's like, Jesus, it's not about you, mother.

I know. So anyway, then we moved on to the unveiling of Bethany's apartment, which is finally done. So guess what? She's no longer homeless. Yay, we're solving the homeless problem in New York City one person at a time. I don't have to pee on the street anymore. You know, that's what we're doing now with de Blasio here. You're expected to just piss on the street.

I'm like, look, street, I don't know you, street. I don't know the street. Why would I piss on it? I'm not going to piss on this street. I'm not having a birthday party on the street. If you ask me about the street one more time, I'm literally going to be on the floor. Okay, I may be crying. My walls are up.

Walls are up. Bethany, really, I have grown to love her again this season. Me too. Because she's an asshole. She really is. She is. I mean, this scene opens up with her like, oh, oh, God, here we are. Finally, we have it.

You know what I want? You know what I want in here? I want flowers. I want to be that person. I want every week. I want there to be flowers over there and fresh flowers over there. And, you know, it'll make me less exhausted and tired, you know, and I want them to be flowers over there and fresh flowers over there. It'll make me less exhausted and tired. And I want them to be flowers I know.

So just make sure that they call me first and have an interview with me or something. Shut up, bitch. Please. Just stop. Stop. I need flowers there because it reminds me of the vases that my father used to break over my mother's head. Okay? Just have vases everywhere.

All right? Oh. My father used to break over my mother's head, okay? Just have vases everywhere, all right? And then Carol comes over, and they're walking around. But it's like, no, I can't be mad at Ramona. You know, it's like being mad at a four-year-old. You know, you just can't be mad, okay? You know what? If you ask me to be mad, I'm going to be on the floor crying, okay? My walls are up.

My mad walls are up, all right? And Carol's like, yeah, but, you know. What did she say? She said something. And Bethany's like, yeah, because you're sleeping with the four-year-olds. Of course you don't get bothered by it because you're having sex with them. I was like, whoa. Yeah.

And Carol's like, no, he's 28. That's very offensive. He's not 20. He's 23. Don't be different different He can drink legally So then anyway So they make this like an apartment tour Like you're watching

Selling New York or whatever So we have to see all of And I cannot believe that all the chandeliers Weren't made out of skinny girl bottles, so congrats for that. Otherwise, you know, it was very beautiful, but I don't know. There's something so snotty about her.

It's not that she has the money. It's how she just talks. Like, oh, okay, cameras, we're rolling. Okay, I want to talk about how I want fresh flowers everywhere and how this chandelier was handmade for me by a princess. International lifestyle brand. She didn't think i can get it done uh oh yeah was she talking about carol when she's like i'm glad carol could come because she didn't think i could get it done so fast but you know homegirl doesn't know me i'm like what is it with bethany and knowing people yeah that's

they don't know me about every that's how she judges everything and everybody which is how they know her or how she knows them yeah exactly she's like well they don't she doesn't know me homegirl doesn't know me i can put walls up like this my walls are up apartment done that's how i learned at the racetrack you know you don't just put put your buddy on a horse you don't you don't know you know you gotta know the horse by the way i want to ever imitate bethany i know i want you i'm realizing right now that now that secrets and wives is done i've started to use the lies impersonation for bethany which makes no sense whatsoever i'm like yeah i've got like half of dorinda and half of uh ramona i think it should be an easy one i don't know why we can't do bethany i think because once

you have an accent like that it's like how many different voices can have the same accent i guess does that make sense i know i know it's like how many different voices can have the same accent, I guess. Does that make sense? I know. I know. It's hard. Especially because if we're talking so quickly, it's just easy to just gravitate towards a more dominant accent for ourselves. Which is why a lot of times when I'm doing a voice, it suddenly becomes Australian for no reason or Toya. Well, it's not like our other accents are dead on either.

So I don't know why I can't just come up with some bad impersonation for her and stick with it. Well, I think the reason is because we have certain accents that we go to all the time. And those are like our main accents. And there are certain accents that are like they have different nuances. And so you try to do a more nuanced version of like a standard accent. Standard. And what happens is that inevitably the nuances go away and you wind up doing the original one. I like this.

This is like inside the actor studio for our crappy accents. Yeah, this is really deep. This is how this podcast works, guys. Yeah, you guys. We're just going to take a minute to talk about our process. Yeah. God girls. Three anniversary.

Talk about the process yeah there's gonna be an extra two dollar processing fee on your patreon charges this month because we're talking about our process so um let's see here uh we're still at bethany car's and I don't know why I hated, loved this scene so much, but I love when Bethany's walking around her house and she's like, oh, yeah, that's just my closet. I don't need a big closet anymore. I mean, who cares? It's a closet. Like, who cares? What am I going to do with the closet? Like, put things in it?

Who cares? I don't need to live in the closet. I'm just looking to have a house, you know? I could be homeless. You know where I hung stuff up before? There's nowhere. Nowhere. That's where. I was always wrinkled. And the closet's huge. It's like a fucking one-bedroom apartment. She's like, I don't need a huge. I don't need a huge. You know what? I don't need a big closet. I mean, seriously, like, kill me right now.

Kill me right now with a big closet. I don't need it. You know what I need? I need a child and I need a father who's not gonna be an asshole. You know what? That's all I need. I need a wall. My wall is up. That's all I need. Okay? Wall up. That's it. Crying in the closet. Talk about me one more time. I'm in the closet crying on the floor. Okay? You know what? Enough. I put a bucket here

just in case. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks. Reconstruction. MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly.

There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some.

As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.

Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of.

But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy

early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Because Bethany will pee in a bucket wherever she is. I don't know what it is with that girl, but she'll just pee in a bucket. So then we move on to, do you have anything else about this scene? Well, just that this is the beginning of Carol's nonstop. Man, Carol's usually pretty cool on this show. Like, she doesn't let shit get to her.

But this is just nonstop. Every scene she's in and everybody she talks to, they're like, how are you? She's like, oh, well, the kid's doing good. He almost got out of his car seat the other day, but I still blew him. And Luann, wow, what a but yeah luann's mean to me but uh luann well luann is luann is sort of out of control you know i love the way she is i'm not saying she's wrong but it's like every scene it's like that girl that won't stop talking about the same thing over well kind of like us kind of like us on this show.

Exactly. Well, so then we move on to Dorinda. Dorinda and John having – Dorinda! They go to – they decide to go to a gluten-free – they go to this restaurant. And Dorinda's like, oh, look, John. It's gluten-free. You better back. You better back the hell up, gluten.

You better back it up. Back it up right now, gluten. So they go in this gluten-free list. Are you trying to tell me something? And she's like, no, but I was last night when I was pressing the medic alert button because you rolled over on me again, John. You gotta

stop doing that, John. One day I'm just gonna be a red balloon in your bedroom and you're gonna be sorry, John. So then they go in and the first thing they do is they order burrata and pizza and a bread basket and potato skins and fries and like another pizza and then like a steak and then a chocolate cake i was like you guys are really uh really on this health kick huh aren't you but for some reason for some reason i started laughing because when the waiter came over i know how much you love when they show the waiter but when the waiter came over, I know how much you love when they show the waiter, but when the waiter came over, Dredge was like, I'll have a Coca-Cola, please.

I was like, this is petty of me, but I can't remember the last time anyone ordered a Coke by the full brand name. I'll have a Coca-Cola, please, from the Coca-Cola company, TM. Thank you very much. I would like an Albertsons, Mr. Peeper. Thank you. If you don't have that just nothing alright Just water is fine I'll have a C&C Cola please

And if you can tell me what the C's are I'd appreciate that So I can order in full name thank you You are the waiter right Oh my god I'll have an Icy Cola Which of course is being a Royal Crown Cola please Oh I'm sorry say it again I want to hear it I said I'll have, Royal Crown Cola, please. Oh, I'm sorry. Say it again. I want to hear it. I said, I said, I'll have a Royal Crown Cola, please.

Whatever. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry. I'm the worst at that. And I'm like, damn it. I don't have a rewind on this. I'm not listening to this shit later. For three and a half years, I've been waiting to make an RC Cola joke. And you just stepped right all over it.

You better back up. You better back up now, mister. I just shit all over it. I just did that. You better back up now, mister. I just shit all over it. I just did that because it wasn't nice to my daughter, and that was my sister with my daughter. Dorinda says so much shit that, like, I don't understand what she's talking about half the

time. She's like, John is very needy, which, of course, John is now needy, and I don't know what made him needy, because we just saw him at Boutique a few episodes with, like, 19-year-old Russian hookers, and I don't know what made him needy because we just saw him at Boutique a few episodes with, like, 19-year-old Russian hookers. So I don't know why he's so needy now. I think the reason why he's needy is that probably one of his friends said, hey, you ever notice how your girlfriend sort of looks like an ice cream sundae? He's like, give me her.

Give me her. Now I'm nervous every time I'm around her. Yeah, so Dorinda says weird things. She's like, john is suddenly very sensitive because he's never seen this side of me before i've always been grieving and now i'm out having fun you know if it was a potato sack jane if it was percent if it was a potato sack game john would love being in the potato sack with me yeah what what does that mean i don't even know what that means first of all if you think John's going to be hopping

around anywhere on purpose, no. And what are you talking about? Stop trying to give John a boner by talking about potatoes. Yeah. I think what she was saying, that he always wants to be close to her, and that he would love the potato sack game, because that way they'd be all right up on each other. But still, I wrote that down, too. John would love

a potato sack game. And guess what? If you don't want to be in a sandwich, don be in a sandwich be in a potato sack dorinda's another one who has to remind you of how much money she has in every scene she's in she's like john oh you're so ridiculous john what am i gonna do if i take you to the south of france mr jetson yeah like oh we get it do they know you in every neighborhood in the south of france too please woman give me a break with this she's like the map lady the thomas maps lady she's like i've been on every street here i can tell you where everything is and how far it is from a 7-eleven mr jensen mr jensen so then john's like well i thought i needed to talk to about and uh and then she's like well

if you have a ring in your pocket don't bring it out of the pizza place she's like one thing i'm willing to commit to john another basket of bread get that waiter over here gluten-free bread so it's healthy we're basically losing weight as we eat so he's basically about to propose. And she's like, no, Mr. No, Mr. I'm not going to say Mr. Justin. I'm trying to think of the guy. Would you be mine? Would you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor? Mr. Rogers. Who's that? Mr. Rogers.

Mr. Fat Mr. Rogers. Don't do it. I knew something was wrong when you were wearing a sweater. Because he does not look right in a sweater. I don't know why that bothered me but i was like i think that's a new look i don't like it even notice that it doesn't look right mr right he looks like he's trying too hard to make her believe that he reads things and nobody believes that john just stop okay you're good enough you're smart enough and at least

jarenta likes you okay yeah the whole world doesn't have to want to fuck you just one person always that is right That is right. I thought it was interesting what she was talking about. I'm sorry. I'm going to skip off a little. I thought it was interesting when she was talking about how it's different this time because when you're younger, you're worried about, am I going to marry this guy?

What is he going to be like as a father to my children? I have to have kids. What's his job like? There's so much that goes into it. What like right what neighborhood in london is he going to be able to afford because if i'm going to know everybody i don't want to be living in the terrible parts where you know i want to be in the parts with the glasses so clean you're knocking your head into it like a stupid bird okay that's where i'm gonna live yeah now she's just like i'm old i'll you know i'll take whatevs yeah he's fine yeah well now she's dating like, I'm old and I'll take whatevs. He's fine. Well, now she's dating like a gay man.

She doesn't have to think about kids and marriage. You're my home base bear. Yeah. Is that John in the background? Sorry, it's Bueller. I don't know. I don't know why he's barking. Bueller's always so quiet during the podcast.

It feels so appropriate to have a dog barking while Dorinda's going on a tirade about something. Hey, John, if I take you to the south of France, how many croissants are you going to eat? I got a lot of friends with croissant bakers. Listen, John, don't try and order one of these gluten-free's in the south of France.

Or I'll kick you out. Don't embarrass me in my south of France neighborhood, John. That's all I'm saying. It's hard to go back there as it is. John right, I'll kick you out. Don't embarrass me in my south of France neighborhood, John. That's all I'm saying. You know, it's hard to go back there, isn't it? John, if I take you to London, you need to look at the light because the light's different in London, okay? You better back up, back up, before you make fun of the light in London.

John, I want to go to London with you, but I don't trust you around the windows there yet. All right? I've been there for years, John, and it's still confusing. You know, I don't want to hurt my boo-boo bass. So John's, like, trying to get something, you know, concrete. Yeah, he wants to start talking

about moving in, and she's not sure. And he... In the end, their conversation just ended with them both standing up and giving a very awkward hug, because... I mean, I'm trying not to make too many jokes about John being fat, but he honestly is so fat that he moved the table when he tried to stand up

been there done that do it often yeah yeah it sucks being fat you know like wondering if you can even sit on that chair if it's gonna break or like when you're sitting on a chair and you're like oh my god this shit's gonna break I feel it break like you can feel the fibers of the chair screaming

it's like one of those Pixar movies where they make like, you know, the micro microscopic little things in plastic live. And you're like, Oh my God, I never thought about plastic bags before, but I've been so uncaring this whole time. Yeah.

I feel the Pixar chair is like, no, don't sit on me. Don't sit on me. Don't sit on me. My knees are weak. And it says, Oh no.

And then they're all the little, like the, the, the fork on the floor is like, Oh no, cherry's going to fall apart's gonna fall apart oh no oh i'm like please don't base this on my life i never want to walk into a dollar store and see clearance rack items based on chairs that i broke here's a towel remember that poor sad chair that pixar movie that that dude sat on oh that poor thing little wonky but you know what, though? If the chair breaks, maybe it's time for that chair to then have

a new beginnings party. Can chairs do that? Yeah. They turn into stools. They're still like, I broke, but, you know, I just got myself up, I dusted myself off, and, you know, I went to Target and bought myself a new me. And so here I am! You know what? The back of me fell off

and at first I was like, oh my god, there's an essential part of me as a chair. And then I realized, you know what? I'm okay without that. I'm a stool now. I don't need the back. I'm my own creature now. And I'm okay with that. So let's have a toast to me being the new stool in town, okay? Okay? As long as this

stool can get laid, I'm fine! Cause there's men everywhere! Everywhere! Mario has no place in my life anymore. But, you know, don't forget a tickle box, please. I like that the chair has a Ramona voice. That the chair is this, like, really

recently divorced chair that is kind of an asshole, doesn't treat the other chairs properly. The other chair's like, hey, that was my spot at the bar. I'm so sorry. You know, I just took it. You know what?

You know what? It's my spot now. Well, that's not nice. That's my spot. You know what? That was wrong of me, and I'm sorry. You know, you can't just do those things and apologize afterwards. You know what?

Okay. No, you're right. You're right. You know what? We all take different spots, okay? And that's okay, okay? So I'm sorry. Poor chair man green.

You know, he can't get back into the dating game. It's really hard to let somebody sit on your face after you've been crushed like that. Another chair comes up and is like, you know what? I heard that you've been talking about that I was a different kind of chair and then that the owner decided just to sell me at a flea market, okay, just to get rid of me, all right? That's not what happened, and I don't appreciate you saying those things. I'm sorry. That's just what I heard. No, I never was sold.

I was refurbished, okay? I was refurbished, and you can't keep saying these things about me, okay, stool? I'm sorry, and I apologize. You can't keep apologizing like that, okay? This is ruining my reputation, all right? I'm not friends with Doreen anymore because she is now a chair in the new wife's house. So, fuck her. That's not girl code.

That's not chair code. Okay. You know what I heard? Hey, you know what I heard about that chair over there? I heard it was reupholstered. Yeah. Excuse me. I heard that you've been saying that I've been reupholstered. Yeah. Excuse me. I heard that you've been saying that I've been reupholstered.

I'm just, you know, it was a conversation. It was a brainstorm. It was a brainstorming session. That's all. Well, please don't say things about me being reupholstered. I've never been reupholstered in my life. I'm sorry. You know, it's just what I heard.

That's all. You know, I'm sorry. Okay. Please, let's make a chair, Real Housewives. A Real Housechairs. Real Housechairs. I want a whole episode just based on the desk chair

in Shannon's Lady Obama knockoff office. Her knockoff first lady office. Like, hello, Megan. Hold on a second. Let me just get comfortable in this chair here. I want to know what the chair is thinking, you know? She sits down on the chair and the chair is probably like,

who's this? Who's this? I'm sick of your chair. I'm sick of your attitude chair. Yeah. She sits down on the chair and the chair's probably like, who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? She's like, all right. I'm sick of your chair. I'm sick of your attitude chair, all right? That's enough of that. I start chairs, chair.

Ironically, Shannon will never buy an antique. You know, because the last thing she wants is Miss 30-year-old chair. Okay, Miss 30-year-old chair. David? David? Have you been-old chair. David? David? Have you been singing other chairs, David? Okay, bye everybody.

Thank you for coming. Just kidding. David's not allowed to sit in love seats. David's had enough love seats. All right? That's enough. He needs a bony stool now

and I'm going to give it to him. That's it. I'm working out. That's it. David? All right. So let's see here. Oh, so this talk with John.

Okay, we're still in the second scene. Oh, we're still there. Okay. So she's at dinner. She's at that place with John or whatever, and then they start talking about the daughter again, and then he's like, well, I want to take this. You know, I don't know what it means, but we should be doing something together.

Living together. You know. Ordering barata together. Maybe not married together, but like doing something together. And she's like, John, we're eating gluten-free bread together. What more do you want? She's like, if she likes you, she likes you. If she doesn't,

she doesn't. Let me, what am I going to do? The end. Like, John, sorry, but that's your answer,

buddy. And that's not going to change. Yeah, John, you've, you've hitched your, you've hitched your ride onto the wrong cash cow.

And part of moving in with somebody when their child hates you, hey, listen, buddy, that's part of being a step parent.

You know, that's, that's part of proving your love. So just take it. Don't expect everything to work out all the time. Why would this girl like you? You've done nothing for her. Yeah, John, maybe it's time for John to move on.

I mean, if they've been dating for three years and she still doesn't even like the idea of moving in together, does not bode well. Yeah, because you know he had a ring in his pocket. Yeah, he did. I mean, it was a donut. It was a donut, but, you know, still. Yeah, I was going to say it was probably cut pocket Yeah, he did It was a donut, but you know, still I was going to say it was probably cut out of a

Tostina pizza roll, but It was a bagel It was something with a hole in his pocket, you know that If my boyfriend ever proposes to me I hope he does it with a bagel, that would make me very happy If anybody ever Proposes to me, they better not fucking do it In a gluten-free restaurant, I'll tell you that

There better be gluten There better be all. There better be all sorts of gluten everywhere. I want twisty molecules that are going to fuck up my digestive system for a week, alright? Yes. I like it. What kind of marriage is it going to be if someone's like, do you promise to be

in a gluten-free restaurant? No, I don't. I will not marry this gluten-free lifestyle. No. Well, speaking of twisty molecules, let's talk about Ramona and her New Beginnings party. So everyone's arriving. Oh, and then Ramona starts with her usual Ramona cheerleader at a party. Ramona enters every single party like this.

Hi! Hi! It's me! It's me! It's my birthday! It's my day! Here I am! No one's here!

Who cares? I'm celebrating myself. I'm celebrating my own renewal. I'm renewed. Good for you, Ramona. Oh, thank you. It's like she's almost walking in, like, having these really loud conversations, congratulating herself on something. I also like how whenever Ramona walks into a room, and it's only when she walks into a room, she walks like she has a peg leg.

You know? She sort of has this weird gait where her body swings, almost like one like a one of those those inflatable things that you punch and it goes down and comes back up again she sort of sways back and forth when she walks in she's oh okay this is nice this is nice okay all right all right it's my birth it's my celebration new beginning new beginning and she's swaying her hair is going back and forth maybe like a ship maybe like an old-fashioned ship on the waves you know back and forth the mast is going left and right. Maybe like a ship, maybe like an old-fashioned ship on the waves, you know, back and forth. The mast is going left and right. Yes,

I actually can see exactly what you're talking about because she does do that. It's like she's, it's like you're in the, it's a small wonder ride where you're looking around and you're trying to look

at all of it at once and you're thinking, is this cheap and awful or is it fabulous? Yeah. I need somebody to tell me first. Exactly. It's like Ramona.

She's like, here I am at my party. I don't know if it's terrible but I hope it's not going to be because renewed, I'm new. I mean, if it's terrible's like, here I am at my party. I don't know if it's terrible, but I hope it's not going to be because renewed, I'm new. I mean, if it's terrible, don't tell me. Is it terrible? I don't know, but it's fun, right? It's fun. We're having fun, right? Like you're the only person here. Calm down, lady. All right. So

Kristen's yelping your party. So Kristen soon arrived with her husband, Josh, who managed to stay out of the limelight this season probably because he got thrashed so badly last year. Once again he was wearing his stupid fedora, the one that made him look like he was

in that movie from the 60s you know the Stanley Kubrick one Clockwork Orange He wishes he looked like he was in Clockwork Orange. Those were bowlers they wore weren't they? That's true. Those were bowlers, not fedoras. Either way, it's like, Josh, you've been well documented.

Everyone knows that you're balding. Take off the fedora. If anything, put on a yarmulke. I don't get people who are so insecure about being bald. I'm bald. I mean, you can't do shit about that. Like, don't be mad about it. Don't be mad at yourself for something you can't change, okay?

You can't change your age. You cannot change your balding or whatever your hair loss shit like that you just have to hate yourself for your weight or something that you can do something about yeah but like shit that you're born with i mean what are you going to do and is it harder to identify as a bald person or as a person who wears fedoras really i think being bald is easier the fedora you know certain people can pull off a fedora but josh is not one of them. I have not seen one. Not least not. Not that. I've seen some. Maybe Quad.

Or Dick Tracy. Or the person who does the antivirus spying thing on the Google Chrome, you know? And they're like, do you have a virus? There are some people who can do a fedora. There are some people who can do a fedora. But Josh is not one of them. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of

it, Josh. Throw it in the burn pile. Josh, we're going to have a new renewal party for your head. Alright? I just want new things on there. I don't want to see this anymore, Josh. Okay? It's new. You can maybe go home and put it on and roll around with it in your own bed if you want to and not tell anybody because

who are they? And it's your life and you can do that if you want. But do not wear that hat in public you just look like an asshole and you know and can i say something else about josh i mean i've always thought he was an asshole um but this is going forward just a little bit but at one point when the whole gang was like sitting in the corner and luann came over um and we'll get into this whole scene later but uh when luann came over and everyone was like saying hi to luann and she was introducing Thomas Roberts, her gay MSNBC guest or whatever. Everyone was like – all the men were standing up. He just sat there.

He just sat there and shook his hand. I was like, you are so – that sort of thing annoys me about Josh. You're supposed to stand up as a man. That's upper manners. Josh, I would guess just from seeing his personality on this show. annoys me about josh that he you know like you're supposed to stand up as a man that's josh josh i i would guess just from seeing his personality on this show i would guess that he resents anybody like more successful than him yeah and when he sees somebody like the chef who's young he just wants to impress the chef because that's what he considers cool the other stuff he just resents so like he's really nice to the kid he's like oh i

oh yeah i love chefs and chefs love me because i just eat so much of the food i mean how can you not it's amazing the relationship i have i eat like a pig and kristen gains all the weight huh poochie how about you do it babe tell him show him stand up and show him your pooch hon she's like she's like it's so true whenever i make that thai salad for him, oh, my God, I'm the one who gains the weight. You wouldn't hit me if I weren't fat. So it's my fault, you know, because I can use my fitness pal, but I just don't. So I get what I deserve. Because I have no pals, not even a fitness pal.

Even my fitness pal keeps me outside of a box. I've been not even a fitness pal. Even MyFitnessPal keeps me outside of a box. I've been blocked by MyFitnessPal. Every time I try to log on to MyFitnessPal, it just crashes and rolls its eyes. It keeps trying to erase itself off my phone. I'm like, no, you're MyFitnessPal. Every time I enter a blog entry into MyFitnessPal, it misquotes me. I mean, I just don't understand that you know what my fitness pal is my it's the only app that doesn't ask if it wants me to turn

on gps I really resent that I love gps so speaking of Kristen so Sonia comes into the party and she is fired up she has her hat as you were talking about and Sonia's like you know what I'm not talking to that girl today I'm not talking you, you know what? She said she gets, there's a whole article about my line, and she's talking about this and that, pop of color, this, pop of color, that, pop of color. And at the very end, she goes, now I wish Sonia came out with her because that's something I would actually use.

So Sonia's all mad because Kristen apparently dinged her in the press. So that leaves us, you know, we of course assume that Sonia's actually read this article and that this is what actually is said in the article. Yeah. Never assume that Sonya is reading. Never.

Don't let those fucking Walgreens glasses confuse you, okay? They confuse a lot of people. Don't let them. They're like five cents. Yeah. But then what we find out a little bit later is that Kristen never like Kristen Sonya never read the article first of all and we see even there's even footage

of it where the guy asked her like oh he's asking about the show and it's like oh what do you think about Sonya's toaster and Kristen says in a very polite sweet way she's like oh well I hope she comes out with it because I love toasters you know I use toasters all day because I have children and then the reporter was like,

I'm bored and moved on to someone else. And she's like, hey, I said I like the toaster. Put that in there, okay? And now she's in trouble for getting the toaster thing mentioned. But then the toaster arrived in a box and Kristen really had some issues with that. Kristen's like, well, I had children,

but they both died trying to make a pot tart. So thank you, Sonia. Sonia's like, oh, well, forgive, but they both died trying to make a pot tart. So thank you, Sonia. Sonia's like, oh, well, forgive and forget. I mean, live a little. Yeah, Sonia was being ridiculous. First of all, Sonia, a headscarf mistress, because you know that's what that bitch was. That girl, they're like, oh, not mistress, intern.

When they showed that intern a couple weeks ago who was wearing the headscarf, and it was like the new intern in Jaya or whatever her name was. And I was like, oh, no. So now Sonya is going to be wearing a fucking headpiece in every scene. She is. What the hell? She really got a headscarf intern?

Who does that? I know. Well, maybe Meghan and King Edmonds. Because Meghan and King Edmonds also has quite the headscarf this week. Why would you wrap yourself like an Ann Getty's baby? I mean, it was like a gift. She's like, I'm going to show up to Ramona's renewal party as a watermelon baby.

No, what are you doing? Stop it. Well, I love then that, you know, of course, Luann is happy to go over and tell Kristen that, oh, by the way, you know, Sonia is mad at you about what you said. I don't know. You have to talk to her. It just drops the bomb. Kristen's like, what?

So Kristen goes over to talk to Sonia and Sonia's just going nuts. She goes, I don't want to talk to you ever again about my career, my future, or caring about me. And I'm like, that's also, by the way, that's the pitch for her new talk show. It's called, it's the Sonia

show, and that's a show where you talk about her career, her future, and caring about her. I think that's pretty much her show. Yeah. She already has that show. It's on, it's a podcast called Sexy J. Sexy J, where we talk about my career, my future, and what you're going to do to care for me. And how the

possums are living in the walls, and eventually you start understanding what they're saying. Ramona Stinga Singa. And how best to take apart a boombox to make other boomboxes out of it. You know, I can't wait to do another episode, but poor Pickles is still trying to get the microphone working.

But the microphone intern, oh, what a fool he is. He can't even connect to the internet. We keep trying to plug him in and nothing. Okay, so meanwhile, while this is all happening, Ramona and Bethany are having this whole ridiculous fight

where Ramona is trying to apologize for the fight at the fashion show and Bethany is refusing to let her apologize. And Bethany's like, you know what?

You know what? You're like a four-year-old, okay? And Ramona's like, thank you. Thank you And Bethany's like, you know what? You know what? You're like a four-year-old, okay? And Ramona's like, thank you. Thank you. Bethany's like, why are you saying thank you? This is an insult. It's not a good thing, Ramona. It's not a good thing to be called a four-year-old. And Ramona's like, yeah, it's true. You know

me, because sometimes I'm a six-year-old. And that's it. That's who I am. Sometimes I act like I'm six. And Bethany's like, yeah, you gave yourself another couple years, so... It's like Ramona is gave yourself another couple years so it's like ramona is even improving herself yeah and the lie yeah and then ramona suddenly goes are you catholic or jewish i forget in life forgiveness is good you need to learn forgiveness okay are you religious are you catholic it's like a bitch you went to church one time and got some dirt on your forehead

that you promptly washed off after and put some cheap-ass renewal cream made from China. Stop it. Please stop. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I don't like to have ashes on my head. I don't even understand. Why do they put ashes? What's the deal with Ash Wednesday?

Why don't they call it Skin Cream Wednesday? That'd be nice. You know what, Bethany? If you don't like what I'm going to say, I'm going to tell you what you would have learned in church had you had any religion over at the racetrack, okay? And that is, if you don't like people talking about you cheating,

then maybe you should just turn the cheek that didn't cheat, you know, and then just show them that cheek. Okay. Okay. Why are you showing everybody the cheater cheek? They're going to talk about it. That's how it is, okay? So anyway Then meanwhile through all this

Carol actually brought Adam to this party Which of course elicited a lot of Disdain from Luann Who in the interview she goes It just makes me ill You know what Luann I get it The guy dated your niece But in the beginning of the season We didn't realize he was 28 It just makes me ill. I'm like, oh, you know what, Luann? I get it.

The guy dated your niece. But in the beginning of the season, we didn't realize he was 28. And Luann made it sound like they were, like, teen lovers. And it's your niece for crying out loud. The guy is 28. Luann has to chill out. Luann can't be going around being so annoyed that someone walked in on her when she could have had a guy in her room doing something sort of scandalous and then all of a sudden be

totally, you know, like, I can't believe she dated a 28-year-old. It's ridiculous. And 28 is a big difference from 22. Big difference, messed up, better back it up. Back it up. Also, why is it okay for Carol to date the help? I mean, why isn't it okay for Carol to date the help when it's okay for her own niece to date the help?

I mean, you'd think that that's a rule and that's so not classy, darling. Why would you not make your own family members follow it? You know, like, why are you so excited for your daughter to date a slave in the kitchen who's working for you for minimum wage? Get out of here, Luann. Yeah. Like, your rules don't make any sense. Luann. Luann.

Oh, and by the way, Luann, what was the age difference between you and your ex-husband? And you and Jacques. I think there was a difference there. Probably not as huge, but there was one. So Carol is 50. This guy is 28. So that's a 22-year difference. You know, Luanne had like a 16-year difference.

You know, it's... The thing that's so funny to me about this fight, and it came out in this episode, was that Luann's not even mad about the guy. Like, at first she wasn't mad at all. She's like, oh, you went with the chef? Oh, yeah, he's hot. Oh, I hope you didn't get anything on my pots and pans. Oh, God. Carol's like, what does?

You mean the things I take messages on? You mean the printer holder? They're kind of hard to get Sharpie off of, but I keep using them anyway. Yeah, she's not even mad about that. It turns out that she's really pissed about this stupid

barging in on her. You know, I could have been with a man in there, and I have a son. What if you barged in with a camera crew and my son was there? And he would have to see. Honey, your son already saw you fucking Johnny Depp, you know, like Johnny Pep last year. Johnny Pepe last year in wherever. Please, give me a break.

And Luanne actually says, you know, you don't have a son who's 6'2". And says, mom, really? I'm like, what does Noelle being 6'2 have anything to do with anything? It would be one thing if he was short and ugly, but he's 6'2 and hot. I don't want him to think I'm a slut. I don't really understand her

argument, but the whole thing was that she's mad because Carol tried to out her with the camera crews, and you know what? They probably did. They were probably like, ah, they – I don't think – Because these women are always trying to get each other. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

First of all, Heather was leading the charge in the crazy department that morning. Yeah, that's true. And second of all, they were so geeked out over this entire situation that I really don't think their intention was, oh, let's go bust Luann. Let's go, you know, let's go bust Luann. You know what I think? I think that Luann had a gentleman caller who had just left like half an hour earlier. And it was such a close call that it freaked her out. But, I mean, that's just totally based on nothing.

But, I mean, Luann needs to really chill out. And I liked Carol's response, which was that, you know, if you're so concerned about what your son's going to think, then don't bang random dudes on vacation. It's not that complicated. And she's right. Yeah, exactly. If you don't want to be caught on camera with a dude, well, then don't be on a reality show and then invite someone back. Don't blame Carol for that, Luann. I love you, Luann. I think you are wonderful.

I think you are a national treasure. But in this case, you are absolutely wrong. And I also think, by the way, back me up on this. I think that Luann is jealous of Carol. I think Luann had her sights on that chef. Oh, for sure. I mean, why would she care so much about this?

Luann is a total hoe. That girl is like a changed person, an Indian gift shop, just like always open and all leathery and it looks like it's been used, but it's still just open there waiting for somebody to buy it. That's Luann right there, you know? And she acts like she's all like a classy

purse, but she's just an old brown leathery Indian store purse. And she's like, wait a second. Carol's surgery isn't half as good as mine. She still has her original teeth implants. I mean, who would have sex with that over me? I mean, come on. I'm on iTunes.

You know that, right? Does this young man have an iPod? Because I'm on it. Yeah. Yeah, no. Luanne, you are getting this one wrong. I'm sorry. I can tell you it's not on the Google Play Store.

Carol Radswell. That's who. Luanne is still pissed off, and I will never back down on this. She is still pissed off that Carol embarrassed her in season one by making fun of the fact that she was trying to get free clothes and that that wasn't classy. And that's it. Yeah. Luann will never, ever forgive that, ever. Anything that Carol does for the rest of her fucking life, Luanne will be there pissed off that she got

called on wanting free shit. Yeah, and the author of Class of the Countess then had an incredibly classy moment when Carol and Luanne were pretending to sort of bury the hatchet, being like, listen, we don't want to have this get in the way of our friendship. They start talking about

the guy, Adam, or whatever his name is, and Carol says, look, I'm not introducing him to the children. And Luanne goes, I know, the guy, Adam, or whatever his name is. And Carol says, look, I'm not introducing him to the children. And Luanne goes, I know, because you have not. And he goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It was one of her bitchiest. That was one of the bitchiest things she's ever done. That was nasty.

And the fact that she does her laugh. Yeah, because Carol's like, oh, we've all had our 20-year-olds, Luanne. Because you know they know some shit on Luanne that they're just not bringing up. And Luann is just so flagrant with everybody else's secrets. But no one's bringing up hers. And you know that they all know them. And Carol's like, yeah, well, you know, we've all had our 20-year-olds. And Luann's like, yes, but we don't bring them home to the children. I wasn't bringing them.

Oh, yes, because you don't have one. That's what it was. That's what it was. What a bitch. It was. I mean, it was like, on the one hand, I had to, like, just admire the sheer bitchiness of it. I mean, it was just so nasty. It's like, ugh, I love Luanne.

And then the other hand, I had to be like, that was so mean. It was really, really mean. I mean, the reason why she has no kids is because her husband died. Yeah. Not cool. Not cool, Luanne. Not cool, Luanne, but definitely a great entry in the Countess playbook. And then when she explained girl code, it totally sounded like my made-up song because she's like, she broke girl code.

One, she was late. It was like these stupid – her list was so stupid. I was like, actually, I don't think that those are girl code, any of those things. She's like, she didn't use a coaster in my house in my room but yeah this is so petty so petty meanwhile because there were like three different things going on at once so meanwhile there was still sonia was still having an issue sonia was still going crazy and for some reason i wrote down this quote because the the mics caught dorinda for some reason saying i make a pie crust i make a spaghetti crust she was telling the chef she's like oh i love to cook i make a really wonderful

spaghetti sauce yeah really make a pie really i make a spaghetti crust oh my god she was dorinda's so funny and by the way i also just totrack, I love that when Luan brought Thomas Roberts into the party, no one knew who he was. And everyone was like, Ramona was like, do I know you? Oh, I don't think I know you. And Sony's like, oh, I want to go talk to this man. What's your name? And he's like, I'm Thomas Roberts from TV. You know me

from TV. I'm Thomas Roberts. I'm the gay one. I'm one of those people who came out and is famous for coming out and being a news anchor. Thomas Roberts. Anyone? They're like, I'm not familiar. I'm not familiar. Anyway, welcome to the party. He was saying his entire name. Like, is he not a bartender? Yeah. You're welcome.

Yeah. I make a pie crust. I make a spaghetti crust. I don't pay attention to the real world anymore. It was just miserable and depressing. I was like, why am I so sad? And then I realized, I'm too attached to the world. And now I'm not at all. I'm very happy. anyway so sonia and kristen are still fighting and kristen's like sonia you know i like i he asked me about the toaster and i responded and like you know i was

there to support you i was 100 supportive and he asked me about the toaster and that's what i said and so then soon it was oh so you're saying that he's stirring the pot? The reporter's stirring the pot? What are the chances that a reporter from the Post would ever dare to stir the pot? Sonya has a point. And also, like, anybody gives a fuck about your toaster, Sonya, okay? It's a national joke. Anybody who knows who you are or knows this show makes fun of your fucking toaster. Get over it, okay?

You made a toaster where you pose sexually on the cover of a poster like your crispy vag is supposed to make people want to eat toast no girl if anything you need to get yourself on a vagisil ad or something or a ky ad or something you need to be adding moisture to your products not taking them away why the hell would an older woman put herself on a drying device? Bizarre. Bizarre. Well, either way, I think Sonya then walked away from Kristen at that point, and then Dorinda tried to facilitate healing and was like,

now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now! In the background. Dorinda's like, I think she's seriously thinking about the time that she's on the street at the Christmas time first. And they're like, okay. Well, thank you for coming over and talking to us. Well, actually, at one point, Dorinda, I recorded it.

This is what Dorinda said at one point. The more she does know she's doing better, the more she knows what she's doing. The more she knows what she's doing, the more she says about it, the more she'll be in the mind of it. I'd like to hear a conversation with her in quad. She has a daffodil and has it. Oh, it's London. It's London. Now everybody knows

what she's doing. has it, honey. Boy, she does know what she's doing better than she knows what she's doing. That's what I'm saying. How bad is she doing?

You know, that's what it sounds like whenever Bravo is filming those Summer by Bravo commercials and they're all in the same room. It's probably just like, what are these people even talking about? I know. What the hell?

Bravo didn't do a Summer by Bravo this year. They must be having budget cutbacks. Yeah. Andy got a raise. Yeah. Andy is now driving the Summer by Bravo. Yeah. Commercial.

Andy took the entire budget for Summer by Bravo and put it into tanning beds. His new Ford Fiesta is bought by the money that would have been spent on that Summer by Bravo. So then we had a weird scene where Ramona and Bethany were still discussing things and Ramona's like,

you know what? Sometimes I'm afraid to trust someone so I do something on purpose to push them away. Okay? Okay? And then Heather comes in out of nowhere and is like, you know what? You guys, it's okay to like people. It's okay to trust people. Let people in.

You know what, Bethany? Mama? Holla, Mama. Sometimes you're a bitch, and that's your choice of yours. You don't have to be a bitch, but you're a bitch. Ha, ha, ha. And Ramona's like, oh, well, I don't know if I would say that to bethany and she's like oh no i mean it in a good way mamas i mean like you're choosing to be a bitch and i support that decision because if you

want to be a horrible human being i'm okay for it and if you're ready for my loving open arms they're here as well so whatever you decide ha ha Ha, ha, ha, ha. Whatever you want. I'm here. And Bethany's like, what? What the hell was that? It was like drive-by therapy. What was that? You just drive by and you're like, okay, there's some therapy, childhood, racetrack, mom beat with the Hello Kitty phone. Bye.

I mean, what the hell was that? Do I have to tip you for that? Like, what was that? What was that? Yeah. Bethany was so confused. It was just a drive-by. Like, I'm just sitting here.

Am I on a sidewalk? Oh, my God, I'm on a sidewalk right now. Like, I'm just sitting here. Am I on a sidewalk? Oh, my God, I'm on a sidewalk right now? Like, I can't even walk. I have to be careful. I don't want to step on a crack and break my mother's back. Okay, this is too much. Okay, it's too much. Okay, I'm down on the floor.

I'm crying. Okay, too much. It's straight out of Compton right there. I mean, that girl is street. She's a drive-by therapy? Who does that? Hey, you, you're fat. Is it your childhood mommy issues?

Oh, okay. You know what you need to do and i was dying bethany really is funny and i think that one of the reasons she is funny is because all of bethany's like bitchiness and uh narcissism and like obsession with wealth even at the cost of her family or all the stuff that makes her awful is also the stuff that makes her great and i love that she doesn't back down from it she doesn't give a fuck like she does whatever she wants yeah and she is owning being a bitch heather okay you need to own the fact that you're a stick up your ass yeah tight ass whiny what needs to be a mom to everybody because you

can't control every little thing in your life so why don't you just own that you'll be a mom to everybody because you can't control every little thing in your life. So why don't you just own that? You'll be a lot happier if you're not trying to change everybody else all the time. They're accepting you. They're openly mocking you. That's what they do. That's how they love.

Yeah, exactly. Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, it was like round 34 of New York Postgate and Sonia was once again yelling at Kristen. And Sonia's like, I'm a much bigger brand than a toaster oven. I'm an international brand. And she's like, I just hate it with the toaster oven. And then he's like, I'm a much bigger brand than a toaster oven. I'm an international brand. And she's like,

I just hate it with the toaster oven. And then Ramona comes and goes, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I want to make a toast. I was like, Ramona, don't mention toast.

I know. And then she said toast plenty of times. She's like, no, I'm talking about my toast to Ramona. She's like, toast, toast, toast. Are we going to make a toast?

Toast, toast. Oh, I need some toast. I wish I could get this toast to work. I wish I could get it to work. I wish somebody would release this toast finally. Oh my god, my toast is so – I don't even know what I want to say. I wish it was just fully finished. I wish it was some sort of oven where I could put my toast into it. It would come out and be done and I could say my toast. I've just got this inappropriate box now with my toast in it and I need somebody to take it out or it's just going to die on the shelf and then everyone's going to make fun of me in the New York Post

so please let's have a toast but that did not stop Toastergate because then Sonia continued to go at it with Kristen and then Kristen at one point goes are we really arguing about the damn toaster oven and then Sonia's like oh so now you think it's a damn toaster oven?

Are you that brain dead? And Kristen was like, who's really brain dead here? You're the one who came out with the toaster oven to begin with. I was like, score one for Kristen. I mean, I honestly, like, poor Kristen. I mean, she should have just stopped trying to fight. I mean, Sonia was so ludicrous she was and the editors were

hysterical in putting that clip in where they showed the interview you saw that you caught that right did you already bring that up you were talking about reading the actual article I couldn't remember if you said that you see the interview and it was it was asked in a benign way

and she responded in a totally lovely way and I don't even think to be honest I don't know, I didn't read the article but apparently they made it look like she was slamming Sonia and it was just there must have been such a frustrating

fight for Kristen I just love when Sonia's like oh now it's a damn damn toaster oven so now Sonia's a damn, damn toaster oven. So now Sonya has both pride in her toaster oven and also she's annoyed that it keeps coming up. Well, Sonya's a typical pussy. Like, she's

she only will go after the weak one. She's like, who's going to stick up for Kristen, really? I can just sit here and yell at Kristen and get my finale airtime and, you know, get a spot next year because Lord knows I need the job because I ain't working. So, gotta do what I gotta do.

And she goes to work and that's the only thing she has to fight about. I mean, it's either that or her alcoholism and she's trying not to be wasted anymore. So, it's like, what do you do? You know, the girl's just trying to save her job, but at the same time, it's like she's going after the weakest one in the cast like the woman's not even in the box sonia she's not even in the box it's like you're lobbing spit

wads over the walls of the box stunning not cool not cool poor poor poor kristen got girl code no girl code so finally ramona does she finally gets her toes together sort of there is literally like 10 minutes of her bank okay everyone i want, I want to make a toast. And people interrupt her and say, no, no, come on, come on now. I'm going to make a toast. Okay. Toast time. Okay. Where's Avery? Toast time. Toast? Mario? Hey, away.

Hey, everybody. I want to make my toast before it goes bankrupt, like other toasters here. So let's just get this done now, okay? Yeah. And then they, you know, it goes bankrupt like other toasts it's here so let's just get this done now okay yeah and then they uh then that you know it's the season finale so they were showing you know they do that update thing where they freeze the screen and at first i had a conspiracy theory going because heather did not get a chance to wax philosophically about the season and neither did christian and i was like oh

they're done but then sony didn't either so oh no yeah that's true they didn't well so my they didn't show them talking they did show their like little endings or whatever and they were you could really tell that they hate heather i mean dorinda's was like dorinda is finding a life of happiness now that she's past her grieving but don't expect her to get ugly you know like they were all really nice and supportive of the ladies and then it got to heather's and it was like heather still has a business and then it moved on to every i was like what the hell man you give heather like zero love it's like heather still works at a stolen company every day yeah okay i am gonna miss i am gonna miss heather on the show because as much as she can annoy me

I am going to miss Heather on this show because as much as she can annoy me, she does really mix things up. And she does speak her mind. She is never afraid to speak her mind. And often she's such a bitch about it, sometimes in a really good way and sometimes in a really bad way. But she always actually makes for good TV. So I am a little sad to see her go. And I also think that she's important on this show, believe it or not. Believe it or not, I'm saying that. But I think she's kind of important on this kind of show

because as ridiculous as she can be, she's actually a real person. Like, she's not some... I mean, with her hollas, even the holla and all of that makes her more real to me because she's just trying so hard to be liked. Like, she just wants to be liked. And she's a mom. And she's

like a judgmental mom and she can't help it you know yeah i think that a lot of us are like that i actually think you know we we i mean we trash her so much heather if you're listening guess what here's your moment of glory it's not because we try we trash her a lot but i actually think that she's she seems like a very bright person i think she is she can be annoying um and she could be needy and she can be misguided and she is insecure she does want to be liked and all that stuff but I do think that she's bright and I think she does bring something good to the table

so I am going to miss her yeah bye Heather love ya oh I can't wait to see the shit that happens at this reunion because you know it's going to go down I'm sad honestly I'm sad about this Carol Luan situation because it's so stupid that their friendship is basically has basically fallen apart over this stuff it's luann you got

to get it together girl you gotta like get some perspective on this yeah listen real girl code you know what real girl code is not cock blocking your friend when she's getting a 29 piece of 29 year old piece of ass okay that's right. That is what girl code is. I don't know where the fuck you heard of girl code with your fake countess ass, your married title that you won't get a divorce so you can keep your fucking fake title. Lady, please.

Countesses don't have girl code, darling. It's a different culture. You obviously don't understand what it means because in America, if you know a woman with toilet lid teeth who is banging a fucking 29 year old you throw that bitch a party okay you do not get on her ass about it exactly niece was too much of a loser to keep her then you should even congratulate your friend even more for

being that much hotter than your niece when she's 40 years older than her and you know the truth is we remember this niece this niece appear i'm assuming it's the same one. But from a few seasons ago, Luann, like, went out partying with her niece. It's like, okay, why is it okay for you to go out, like, and, like, hang out and try to be, like, cool with her niece and her niece's crowd? And yet Carol can't socialize in a different sort of way with her niece's crowd. But the point is this. Carol found a man who is hot and wants to cook for her and cook good food i agree she needs to be applauded and she needs to lock it down also carol does not need to rely on this man for his money

luann can go have fun and fuck whoever she wants for fun but she can only marry somebody who's gonna a give her another title and b i mean girl had to move into a smaller house this year you think that that was just because she wanted a smaller house? No. No. She could not afford it. So Luann is, like, looking for a job. And Carol is getting ass.

You know, stop your jealousy, Luann. It's so ugly on you, darling. Darling, you know. Not cute. Yeah. No. No. We love you, Luann, but you are wrong.

Wrong. You're wrong on this one. Big time, lady. Big love you, Luanne, but you were wrong. Wrong. You were wrong on this one. Big time, lady. Big time. All right, so why don't we go on to Flipping Out. I am flipping out. I'm flipping out. I don't have a lot to say about this show because it is a bitch.

No, no. I actually like the show, but I really feel like when I'm watching this show, I'm just watching someone work, which you are. But I'm watching him yell at people at work all day i'm like oh but it is refreshing to watch this show uh because you know he's he's a very bright sharp guy and i feel like actually a lot of a lot of the things in this show that come up in terms of management or dealing with people are very relatable and a lot of times when he's complaining about something, it's like, Oh, I get that. I get that. Jeff Lewis. I understand.

And I also thought this episode was good. This is because he was slowly losing his shit over the course of the episode. And between gauge and his passive aggressive ways and this plumbing situation, I found myself oddly on the edge of my seat being like, what's going to happen with these pipes. And what's he going to say to gauge?

Oh my God. Ben. I know. Is my life sad? Is this what my life is? No, go ahead. I'm sorry. No, I was going to say, this is what my life is. I am in suspense over plumbing for someone who's

not in my life and I play board games all day. Welcome to almost middle age darling yeah i know how it rolls from now on we're going to be talking about pipes and shit for the rest our new podcast is going to be pipes and shit ragging on pipes ragging on pipes which was also sonia's first podcast can you believe she doesn't use copper? Who does that? She put a blackberry down her toilet. I'm enjoying the relationship between Gage and Jeff only because it just looks painful. But I'm enjoying the relationship between Gage and Zoila even more.

Yeah. Now that's a relationship. Listen, you can fuck with the children. You can fuck with the animals. Do not fuck with the children you can fuck with the animals do not fuck with the best maid okay it's hard to find good help especially one that's hilarious and like carry you know helps carry a tv show like she's really good gage needs to know his place and it is behind the maid sorry that's right that's just the truth i also love the way when there were fights um how like the the non-je non-Jeff Lewis characters always chime in to clarify things.

So in this episode, Jeff wanted couches in a certain way in a room, and Gage was like, no, it's not. And Jeff's like, I just fucking want the couches like this, and that's just what I want. And so he started ragging on Gage and saying, well, I want them here because I want people here. And we live back in West Hollywood now, and if you don't like it, well, I want them here because I want people here. And we live back in West Hollywood now. And if you don't like it, well, then who the hell cares? I'm going to bring in a whole bunch of hot guys. They're going to line up right here. And I'm going to choose my favorite one.

And Gage was like, I can't believe you said that about me or say that to me. So then later on in the kitchen, they, you know, Gage was just so mad. And so Jeff was, you know, he he was like he basically was apologizing for being so mean but i love how jeff is like i jeff jeff jeff was like this is just how i felt and then jenny and that other girl like yeah you know gage i think what jeff jeff was just feeling frustrated and gage is like i just can never believe anyone saying those things to me and then the girls turned to jeff he's like yeah i mean our feelings would be hurt too if you said that to me and then Jeff was like

oh I didn't say it and then they're like well Jeff doesn't remember you know sometimes you just don't remember things when you get mad yeah but that one girl was calling him out she's like he's like I didn't say I would line them up I love how the fight it's they're already so married it's so funny the fights are already so stupid

he's like yeah Jeff but you said that you were gonna have all these guys over here and they were gonna line up and i mean i would just never treat you with that kind of disrespect and just like oh i didn't say they were gonna be lining up okay they wouldn't be lining up but they i mean i would have some but they would be lining up and he's like you said lining up i did not say lining up and then one of them's like um actually yeah you said that they would be lining up and he's's like, well, I mean, come on. You really think they're going to be lining up?

Come on. It's like the fight is so stupid. But Jeff does get so awfully mean. And he hides it all behind his humor. It's like always, you know, I mean, I guess we have that in common. But his meanness is always like humor. So he's always got that excuse but it's not because when he really gets upset he lashes out in a way that he's not supposed to get attacked by

and gage isn't funny so he can't fight by like that he can't fight fight back like that yeah and i just it makes me feel bad for him you know it's like he doesn't even get it so i don't even think he knows if he's joking and it's like if you like, if you really think he's always being serious to you like this, why are you with him? I mean, get some self-respect. Well, by the way, the editors messed up in that scene because Joe, who was fired last week, was totally in one of the shots during that scene. So this is clearly out of order. So please, Bravo, when you're showing us jeff lewis fights and apologies please try to stick to the timeline thank you very much well maybe joe just

forgot he was fired yeah or that too he's like i'm here with you he's like i'm here with your chin chin i found the lunch receipts next week is our next week is already the season finale um and zoya looks like she's crying I'm trying to think what else happened this week she gets in a fight with Gage next week I love it she's like and you can shut up you stupid bitch what how dare you

no how dare you stupid bitch I love her you are bitch and Jess is like oh no wait let me explain to you what she's trying to say. Because I understand how to talk, Zoila. Basically she's saying, you're a stupid faggot and she wants you to die. So is that right, Zoila?

She's like, yeah, stupid beach. I love that relationship. I know, it is fantastic. Let's see, this week also the Brian Austin Green's house got flooded. So that was a big to-do. There was issues that with the with the pipes um sometimes i wish i could hear what was on the other end of jeff lewis's

phone calls like when he was speaking to the person about getting the pipes done i'm amazed how calm he was you know when he was like uh i'm based you have to pay ten thousand dollars to fix these pipes i thought for sure he was gonna freak out. Well, this is like the kinder, gentler version of him. He's really, I guess, grown or at least learned some manners. You always feel like he's about to lose it at any second.

Well, he used to every episode. He used to just go ape shit every time. And now he's learning. It's cute. Yeah. Good for you, Jeff. But, you know, older age learning. It's cute. Yeah. Good for you, Jeff. But, you know, this older age, too, it just gets tiring yelling all the time. You know, eventually you're going to need someone to wipe your ass. You've got to start being nicer as you get older.

Yes, you certainly do. Ain't that the truth, man? That is the truth. I mean, I don't know what else to say about this episode. I don't know what else. Yeah, that's the thing with flipping out. It's like, what are you going to talk about? Vanina's desk might get taken away because they have to fix the shit pipes under it

wow no no vanina vanina darling but the good news is we've got a ton of shows coming up lots of stupidity coming so next week let's see it was working out i want to call it working out too but it's working out new york i'm gonna go on the Bravo page. I think a bunch starts next week, I think. So let's see. Let's see what we have. I'm going on to Bravo. Let's check it out. Let's see what's coming up.

What's new? Hey, Bravo, how about you post the shows that are coming up? How about you post some new shows and not just fucking commercials that crash my computer? Trying to go on your site because it's overloaded with crap? You know, isn't it bad enough that we're going there to look at something that's an advertisement for your network? Why do I have to sit through a Tide commercial while I'm about to watch another preview? That's the dumbest thing. I have to sit through a 30-minute Tide commercial to watch a 45-second preview of your stupid show that probably costs less than a gallon of Tide commercial to watch a 45 second preview of your stupid show that probably costs less than a gallon of Tide. Stupid.

And I have a question. If you go on the Bravo website and you see all shows, they work out in New York. I don't see it anywhere. I see MyFab40th. I don't even see I don't see the other. So either way, let's see what we have coming back. So Below Deck is coming back I believe next week.

Oh no, I'm sorry. Season premiere is the 25th. Oh, that's the night of our live show, Ben. It is. Are we still doing our live show? We better double check that. I think so. I guess we should check in or we should stop talking about it, one of the two.

I know. Well, yeah, I'll email Stephanie. Stephanie Wilder-Taylor. Workout New York Bravo. I'm going to see when does this show start. August 18th. Oh, Ronnie, guess what? So next week on our Thursday show,

we'll talk about Real Housewives of New York City reunion, and I think we should talk about Workout New York. Let's do it, Ben. The premiere, because they've got hot people on here. I love hot, stupid people who don't understand how stupid they are. I love it. That's why I will never leave West Hollywood.

I think they're the most entertaining things. Listening to people walk around, talking on their cell phones, acting smart, and their conversations are just fucking ridiculous. I passed this guy yesterday when I was walking Bueller, and he's like, yeah, and I told her. I know, right?

Seriously. That's your conversation? I guess. And he looks so intense walking down the street. Oh, God. Come on, man. So our Thursday episodes are going to be, starting next week, it'll be New York City,, New York, and then Below Deck will come around.

So we'll probably have a little overlap in New York there. So we'll do those three on Thursdays, and then it'll be Below Deck and Workout New York, right? And then our Tuesday episodes will continue to be Married to Medicine and Real Housewives of Orange County. Do we have to cover Trotty for the Party and Growing Up Manzo or whatever? We usually don't. I mean, those are usually like desperation shows, right? We'll do that once.

If OC and Married to Medicine, if one of them ends their season, then we'll pick up one of those shows to fill in until something better comes along. But I think we will have – we're going to have OC and – well, Ladies of London will be coming up soon, so that will take over probably for OC on our Tuesday show. I don't know. What's the next Real Housewives?

Why isn't there anything cute about that? I don't know, but I think Beverly Hills will probably be next because they're the ones that are in the press right now shooting. So they'll probably be late September. They usually start in the fall so um it looks like we'll probably have a patch there of non-real housewives programming but we hope everyone continues to listen because we'll have the ladies of london which will be fun oh yeah that's that might as well be housewives oh my god i can't wait for beverly hills to come back that show does not learn its lesson they get rid of brandy they get rid of kim and, they get rid of Kim, and then they get

some new Brandy who's like some trashy, like, you know she's gonna be trash, this new Brandy. And then they also got Taylor back who's just Kim. It's like it's like more of a train wreck of Kim without a booth at the plaza every Sunday with her mom.

It's a disaster. It's like they're just replacing the old people with new old people, if that makes any sense. I know. Well, I'm sure there'll also be plenty more of Camille. Somebody else's.

Yeah, the same day that we hear about our friend's split. So upsetting. I know. Never gets old. All right. Well, that was a fun one, Ben. It was fun, so everyone, thanks for listening. And remember,

you can follow us on social media, and please do, please do, go to WatchForCrappins.com, you'll see all our handle, everything there. Facebook.com forward slash WatchForCrappins. Like us, please, we're needy, and it's super fun. And of course, Patreon.com forward slash WatchWhatCrapInns. Like us, please. We're needy and it's super fun. And, of course, Patreon.com forward slash WatchWhatCrapInns. If you haven't already, sign up to donate to us and you can get our bonus episode this week, which is all about the Real Housewives Awards.

We have a Google Hangout next week for people who subscribe on that level. It'll be next Wednesday night, everybody. Wednesday night. Wednesday night. Wednesday. Different night. Wednesday Wednesday night. Wednesday. Different night. Wednesday. Wednesday. Wednesday. So everyone, thank you so much for

listening. It's been real fun. Yeah, this was a really fun one. I'm gonna go crash out for a couple of days. Can't wait. It's been a great week, everybody. And I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Well, you have fun with your pooper, Ben. I hope you reach and watch

what Crappin's Facebook page on there because it's the best way to pass the poopin' time. It certainly is. This might as well be called Poopin' Time Podcast. Alright, bye everyone. Bye everybody. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger.

Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there and i still have a hard time with the last name liza our very own owen benjamin that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more you don't have to wait any longer just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy there's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny. And I love you. It was just the easiest thing I've done since buttering my biscuit at breakfast. Not only have I saved hundreds of dollars on my car insurance, but also the future tears you were sure to impose.

My heart and my coverage now belong to GEICO. Sincerely, not yours, Tara in Telluride. GEICO. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.