Watch What Crappens - #212: Asking Questions, Looking for Cancers

Episode Date: August 18, 2015

Ben and Ronnie go to town on the latest episode of "Real Housewives of Orange County," which sees a questionable psychic declare that Brooks has no cancer. Listen as we rake the psychic, Shannon, Vicki, Megan, Tamra, and pretty much everyone else over the coals. Then it's on to "Married To Medicine" where Quad is the lucky recipient of the phoniest bombshell of 2015. We are not kind to her. We wrap up with "Don't Be Tardy" and the miserable "Manzo'd with Children." You can donate to us at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens And remember to like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens And here's some other stuff: Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://bit.ly/crappens Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Watch What Crappens is brought to you by our premium Patreon subscribers, Claudia Catalina and Christy Daugherty. Yay! Watch What crappens. funny the ha ha rific man of so many voices ronnie caron i was like i was running out of synonyms what could i say i love it ben um hi ronnie how's it going hi ben i'm doing just great i bought a um little desk one of those couch desk things. Yeah.

And then I prep, I'm not using my weight set ever. Oh, good. So I put it under my, like, love seat or whatever because it's too low to the ground. Uh-huh. So I'm sitting in a love seat with a couch desk

and I've been here, like, for days. I'm just becoming part of my couch. That's great. It's like Homer Simpson, like just becoming part of my couch that's that's great it's like homer simpson like that one episode where he gets out and he's like his body is formed into the couch that's how i feel yeah you know little desk was actually the first title for any lennox's song little bird but she changed it i don't know if you know that i look up to the anyway um she was trying to she was trying to write it about little desk but she never got up I look up to the... Anyway.

She was trying to write it about Little Desk, but she never got up. She's like, I've got to change this or I'm never getting out of bed. She's like, whatever. I'll just sing about a bird instead. Yeah. The original... She also... Another original song title for her was Walking on Broken Pencils. But she's like, you know what?

I have to really change this whole office supply thing. Okay're gonna do glass i just keep slipping i mean it's ridiculous i'm trying to i'm trying to do i'm trying to be method for this song and i'm just like falling on banana peels over and over again she's like why why am i doing this why why at least broken glass is just one piece of pain, you know? Pencils are like stabbing you and then you're falling. Yeah, exactly. And then all the traces of it are erased. So no one believes you.

That's why she always looks like she's really feeling it when she sings. Because she really does this stuff. She actually writes her lyrics with pencils on the soles of her feet. Yeah, she's method. this stuff she actually writes her lyrics with pencils on the soles of her feet yeah she's method she has she gets into a strange yoga pose to read her lyrics in the studio booth that's why her notes are always going so long because she's trying to decipher what's on her heel that's why that's on why she's like originally the why was called, why are you doing this? But she sort of smudged off her heels. So she's like, why?

Anyway, Ronnie and I are crazy today, in case you couldn't tell. Because we're already talking about him. Yeah, we've been drinking lots of coffee. We both got coffee makers at our house. Ben got his from a person from TV. And I got mine from Amazon for $13.50. That's right. That's right.

Well, if you want to hear how crazy caffeinated we are, you can go and listen to our bonus episode, which we just recorded. For those of you who want to know how to listen to the bonus episode, you just go to patreon.com forward slash watch where crap ends. And if you support us there, you get access to the bonus episode. We talked about Vicky and Brooks breaking up. We talked about the new transgender cast member of Real Housewives of Atlanta. We talked about the cops being called on Joe Giudice.

And I think we talked about the cops being called on Joe Giudice and I think we talked about something else we talked about a lot of random things lots of transgender donut time stories yeah exactly so also follow us on Facebook facebook.com forward slash watch

where crap ends because it is so fun people post hilarious shit they just post you know a funny photo that they saw you know that reminded them of something on bravo and it makes you laugh so that's that's a good one to like and uh the rest of our social yeah we read all those facebook posts yeah those facebook posts were our entire uh episode today yeah pretty much and um uh you know you we i mean there's so there's so much fun stuff there's stuff that doesn't really make it on the podcast um i know for me i saw croy beerman on uh tv like during an atlanta falcons pre-season game and i just like to take a picture and put it on

the facebook page it's just fun you know what it's fun sorry it's fun so are we taking pictures from the tv it's fun that's what we do you know what i'm a new person you know what and now we take pictures from the tv okay i used to i used to take audio clips from the radio but now i take pictures from the tv okay so nice not having to lug around a giant machine just to record a little audio. It's a new me. It's a new audio. I'm having a party for the new camera that I took a picture of the TV with. Okay? Okay.

It's two megapixels. Okay? New technology. I'd like to thank everybody for supporting it so it can be where it is today which is here getting its picture taken by me okay okay um the rest of our social media by the way is at watch what crap is.com so go there for our twitter and instagram or whatever else you care about um so uh before we start this episode i actually have a pretty important announcement if I run I pee in my pants

that's the news that is the news actually there is one thing we have been talking about we're going to be doing a live show for Crying Out Loud on August 25th in Hollywood guess what?

huge lie huge lie out loud on August 25th in Hollywood, guess what? Oh yeah, we're not doing that. Huge lie. Oh my god, I'm so stupid. Huge lie. And that's so me too. I'm so sorry. The guy asked us to do that. It's not your fault. Because I keep bringing it up and bringing it up and then I never ask

the guy or email the guy. No, no, no. It's not your fault. I was in contact with a guy all this time and he um not all this time but he was the one who was like yeah let's let's do it he proposed that date and he's like i guess i just have to check with the women to make sure it's okay but i think it's okay and somewhere along the line i made the mistake of just confirming it in my head and then telling you and then we've just been announcing it when the truth is there's actually not a single plan for this show to happen.

There is actually no show whatsoever. So... Yeah, Stephanie Wilder-Taylor from that show was like, yeah, I was listening to your old show and I don't even think we're doing a live show that day, so... She's like, are you committing us to a live show that we have not

approved? Yes, Stephanie. We're just inviting ourselves on every show yeah so to that we say for crying out loud yeah we're not going to be doing that show but we will be on jimmy fallon next that's right that's right on the golden girls this week please watch your reruns on lifetime or oxygen did you uh did you hear that uh hugh jackman is coming on this podcast next week guys tune in by the way one of our one of our guests in a long time ago drew drogi he does a golden girl show and katie perry showed up how cool is that i know i saw that i saw it on his Facebook He's posing at Which one is he? I forget which one he's playing I think he's Rose

But he's like look It really is great being a friend or something And Katy effing Perry What the hell? You know who showed up to our What celebrity showed up to our last live show? The waiter The waiter

Your dad My dad. Yeah, my mom. Your mom. Oh, God. Someone told my mom they were surprised. Did I already tell you this? Someone met my mom and said, oh, you're Ronnie's mom?

And she said, yeah. And they said, I'm surprised he has a mom. What the hell? How rude. Rude. Rude. So we are going to figure out a live show. And we are not going to. We're just going to do it ourselves.

I only want to do a live show if I can be in my loveseat desk or station. Can you bring your desk? Your little desk. Yeah, I'm not moving. We'll bring your little desk. And I'm sure we will – hopefully we will have ironed out some of the kinks that plagued us in Texas. And speaking of stuff, by the way, you know what I just discovered? An old sound test from like nine months ago.

Ronnie and I actually, before we record, we do a testing one, two, three. And I found this one. I think you'll be amused. Ready to hear it? Yeah, sure. One, two, three, four. Come on, baby, say you love me five six seven times and i love that i still sound like i'm underwater and we're like okay that's great let's record

because that's how we might test that's right we. We signal Gloria Estefan. Okay, so let's get to the shows. We have to start with Orange County, right? And today, by the way, we're going to talk about Orange County, Married to Medicine, Don't Be Tardy, and Manzo with Children. Yeah, we don't have to talk about those too much. I just figured we should at least check in with them, you know? Yeah, Yeah. Because how many times when – you know, I was actually asking myself this and then I started laughing at myself asking myself, which is so sad. But I was like, how many times can you say David, David in one show? And then I remembered last week it was like two hours.

Yeah. Then it was pretty much David, David, David, David. How long has this happened? David, David. Where are you going, David? If I run, David, David, David. How long is this episode? David, David, where are you going, David? If I run, I pee in my pants. I had a nine and a half pound baby out of my vagina. And now it's ripped from one side of my hips to the other.

I look like the Joker. I look like a Joker vagina. A Joker-gina, if you will. And therefore, when I run, I pee in my pants. Okay, so... Speaking of Shannon... Go ahead, speak of Shannon. No, no.

No, I was going to say that the episode began with Shannon and David doling out not a punishment, but a consequence to their children. Oh, Lord. Yes, Shannon was doing her laundry, which I don't know why I found this so amusing.

Me too! But I took a screenshot of it, and David, I don't apologize for it. She had to wash the infidelity off of David's clothes, David. David. The cleaning lady already did this, but I still smell cheating. So there they go, back in.

David, I would like you to make a list of every single fabric softener you use with your mistress. David? David. David. Every time I tried picking up the basket off the floor of the clean clothes, I peed on them. Because, you know, that's what I... Joker China. So there you go. I just...

I'm re-washing them. I can no longer use bounce because it reminds me too much of David's mistress's breasts. Bouncing there, just bouncing back and forth, left and right, supple breasts. The younger woman at the beach, David, David. So

she was doing her laundry and then they're calling the kids in for a meeting and immediately, you know these kids are like, oh god,, Mom's going to tell us something horrible Dad did. She had 12 negative thoughts. She's like, well, your father's leaving the family, and how do you feel about that, David? Go ahead, David. How do you feel? You cut out for a second there.

Oh, no. What could be doing this? What could be doing this? But it was very quick. Basically, you were saying that the kids were dreading this moment. Oh, yeah, because every time they meet with the parents, it's some awful thing. It's like, oh, your father's had a baby with a maid. So that's great.

Thanks for coming to this family meeting. We'll be talking about it at the Marriott. Anything you want to say? We will no longer be serving Cheerios for breakfast because apparently David has been giving Cheerios to various women in Orange County, so it is now a banned breakfast food for us. I'm sorry. It is a consequence. David has been swallowing enough

holes, so we will no longer be eating Cheerios for breakfast. Only frosted flakes because David has cast a frosting on our marriage. Doesn't even make sense. I just feel frosty and I can't eat frosting and he knows I can't have frosting. David, David.

Kids, I just wanted to apologize. I think you've probably noticed that a frost has fallen over the house. Thank you. That's what I meant to say. Your flaky father has brought it upon us. So frosted flakes every day now. Hopefully we'll work things out at the Marriott has brought it upon us. So, frosted flakes every day now. Hopefully,

we'll work things out at the Marriott therapy session and we'll be back to honey bunches of O's. But until then, nothing. Nothing for you.

Dry toast. Children, I have an announcement to make. The cereal that will be served in this household from now on is going to be soggy life

because that is the life that we lead now that your father has cheated on us. From here on out, you will pour a bowl of life, and then you'll pour milk in it and let it sit for five minutes and then you may eat it. And may it always remind you of the consequences

that your father made. And then that life is going to introduce itself to you. Don't fall for it! I have an announcement, children. Please gather in the living room. From here on out, you are no longer allowed to eat Trix, because it is too similar to the things that David ate.

Because he ate many Trix. And in fact, this entire marriage has been a trick. A trick on me. The devoted wife, Shannon Bedore, who now lies here in this trick. A trick on me. Devoted wife, Shannon Bedore, who now lies here in this tomb. Thank you, David. David. I'm very disappointed in you girls

for toilet papering a house. You know, your father wiped his ass with this family, and there you are putting the symbol of my pain all over a neighbor's house. Congratulations, girls.'ve killed me on the inside you're dumb so they're getting mad because the kids are toilet papering and one of the kids

is a little sassafras which i love and she's the one with the broken toe or whatever yeah it's like fuck off mom yeah and chan's like you will not defy me at 10 you will not defy me at 10. You will not defy me, Miss 10-year-old. I will not even take this until you're 30, Miss 30-year-old. And, yeah, she was like, oh, and the kids were saying, well, Dad did it when he was young. It's like, oh, great, great example, David. Did you do that, David? And he's like, yeah, yeah, honey. We used to smash pumpkins and put them in people's mailboxes.

We used to light up shit and put it on doorsteps. It was hilarious it's not good for you girls not good for you i found it interesting that shannon when she got annoyed with him for saying that she was saying it gives them a hall pass to do the same thing um you know what a hall pass is in a relationship right yeah that's when your man is sleeping around like shannon is so not self-aware it just kills me watching this woman every week i'm like shannon don't you even know what you're saying yes i know and i but i love how she's like such a new age parent you know that she doesn't even she doesn't even like really yell at them or be certain she just is like expressing her disappointment and then david is like well we've decided to come up with a punishment because a consequence please shannon it's a punishment just call it a punishment it's a consequence much like

the consequences your father had to deal with and still does every night before appetizers come at chili's every day every day i think of 40 to 50 negative consequences that your father has caused. Okay. So then I have to write a letter. Blah, blah, blah. The kids are being spoiled. The daughter is like, Mom, you don't understand what it's like to be 10.

I understand. I was 10 once. One time I was 10. One time I was one third of miss 30 year old i would only have five to seven negative thoughts per day back then um i the kids were having a fit and shannon was staying calm because she was on camera not that that ever has bothered her before as her first party yelling at David drunkenly in the kitchen showed. But I really liked it. I thought it was really cute.

The kids are basically like, fuck you. And she was like, this is just going in circles, girls. All right, we're going to take this up at relationship counseling at the Marriott. Pack your bags and get your glitter guns ready for that poster board. Do not defy me. Do not defy.

I will not be defied. David, David, they're defying me. David, David. I've been defied. They are too young to defy me, David. Okay, so. I start charities, this 10-year-old. I start toilet paper.

I started toilet paper. I started toilet paper. I started toilet paper. I started toilet paper. Do you know how hard it was getting that first piece unstuck from the roll without wasting it? I was the one who came up with the name Quilted Northern because I've been to the north, David. And I love quilts. Quilt's there.

It's cold. Cold place. And I resent any beer that puts toilet paper on their butt. David, David. I don't find that charming at all. I find it anti-charming. It's the opposite, David. That poor bear didn't even have a maid to clean up his mess.

So next we move over to Megan. Co-parenting is so hard by the way i love that megan complains about co-parenting with the assumption that jimmy is doing any sort of parenting whatsoever yeah jimmy's parenting is like texting bn bye now yeah his co-parenting is like let's go to Lake Havasu and drink beer. Bye. Yeah. You can tell Megan hasn't seen Jim for a long time because she shows up with like a 30 pound weave and then this weird Barbie pink headband.

I don't know what she was doing, but she was all excited. She's like, yeah, here we are at Applebee's, David. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we're here. We're here together for the first time it's amazing we haven't spent this much time apart and he's like yeah it was really quiet yeah she's like it's been like two weeks since i've seen you last and he's like oh i was shooting for three he's like it was so quiet there and he's like can i just have a burger and then just licks his fingers the whole time i love that there were some place called like babettes it's just like of course

there were some stupid place called hey jimmy let's go to babettes they love you they make the best burger babettes for you he's like yeah whatever um they started talking about of course you know if your husband is already spending a ton spending a ton of time away from home and not inviting you on trips to have a soup, the best thing to do the second you get to lunch with him at Applebee's or whatever, Babapplebee's, is the best.

No, I think it's more like you know how there's like Magic Johnson's TGI Fridays or Magic Johnson's Fridays? It's like Babette's Applebees. The locals call it the Betzelbees. Let's have some Jack Daniel's soaked chicken breasts.

Oh my god, this is coated with Captain Crunch. I'm in! In Orange County, the slogan is not when you're here, you're family. It's when you're here, you're sometimes seen by your husband. Yeah. When you're here, you're, you know, sometimes seen by your husband. Yeah. When you're here, your husband wishes you weren't.

Welcome. The Bats will be. When you're here, your husband is not cheating on you at that moment. Unless you're letting him text. When you're here, you're being tolerated. David, FaceTime cheating still counts, David. Put down that phone, David.

So anyway, yeah. He's been gone, and so the first thing you do when your husband has been avoiding your ass is bring up women drama, because husbands love that, especially Jim. She's like, so Jim, Vicky, we were at this party, and then Vicky

was like, you're not the real mom of that baby, and I was like, vicky was like you're not the real mom of that baby and i was like whatever whatever bitch you're old and jim goes i would blow my fuse if someone tried to tell me how to raise someone else's child did you hear what you just said he's like totally agreeing with megan she's like she was saying that that wasn't my child and he's like well she doesn't have a right to tell you how to raise someone else's child. So embarrassed for Megan. I know.

I know. And then her response was, I mean, in some ways she's right. But all I'm trying to do is erase the bad parenting of the past 17 years. I'm like, oh, she's such a cut fitness. I can't deal with her. She is such a free booty class. No, she is totally obnoxious. The bad parent.

I mean, she's not necessarily wrong. I mean, there have been terrible parenting choices with Hayley. Terrible, terrible, terrible. But for her to say that on camera, that's great. I'm sure Hayley will love hearing that, you know. Yeah, and at least she's got her pink hair when Leanne died. It's like, Jesus Christ, pink hair doesn leanne died it's like jesus christ pink hair doesn't forgive you being a cut fitness the rest of the time yeah okay why don't we just say that

for now and that's our new c word i guess yes cut fitness um you know uh but the best is that when they do finally start talking about hailey's future in her life jimmy's basically like yeah well don't get your hopes up high about hailey's future you know she's like her big goal is that she wants to go to community college. But even that's not certain. She's like, well, wait till she gets there and finds out that there are no classes for her. Then she'll learn a lesson. Well, what she's going to learn is she's going to mope about it and she's going to whine.

And then she's going to rewrite her life story and say, well, you know what? I realize school isn't for me anyway. I decided to get a job and she won't even do that. Yeah, she's just going to ask for more money and then she'll get money. I mean, what's the point of being born to a rich person? He's like, who cares college? She's rich. Like, what the fuck do I care? I did what I'm supposed

to do. I've done what every father is supposed to do. I made my child rich. Now get off my ass and pretend to raise her for a while. Yeah, go ahead, Hayley. Go whine about, you know, whatever you want to whine about. Your new formal dress. Yeah, Megan's Go ahead, Hayley. Go whine about, you know, whatever you want to whine about. Your new formal dress. Yeah. Megan's like, I'm not a babysitter.

Yeah, you kind of are because you're taking care of a child for money. So just shut up and suck it up. Exactly. So then we move on to Tamara's house where the scene opens with Eddie talking and Eddie could not be more boring if you tried. He is the most boring person.

Literally, what he's saying, this is his quote as the scene's opening. He's talking to Tamara's mom. He goes, yeah, so today we did this new workout. One pull-up, one row, one bicep curl, then two pull-ups, two rows, two bicep curls, and then on and on and on. I'm like, could you be less interesting if you tried? That guy is the biggest tame gay on Bravo. Hashtag tame gay.

Tame gay. Oh, I miss the tame gays. He's not more tame gay. He can't be more tame gay than Reza's fiance. Yeah, that's true. Well, at least Reza's fiance is interesting. He watches free-balling porn. I had never even heard of that before that show.

Well, I'm sure that Eddie does. I think Eddie does, too. I did a push-up, and then I made sure the shelves were clear, and then I did another push-up, and then a sit-up. Eddie watches free ball porn too, but instead of guys with dicks flopping around, it's just people holding medicine balls. He's left and right, and he's like, yeah, yeah, babe. He watches free ball porn. It's called the elliptical machines whoa yeah you know you're really into gay sex when you give up free balling

porn and you just open a gym with a men's only sauna that's when you're like taking it to the next level you go go, boy. So anyway, the mom is there. And I don't know if you noticed this, but Tamara's mom, A, she hasn't been yelled at this year for being a terrible mother. So you know what? Congratulations, Tamara. Yeah. Good job.

Also, she opens the scene trying to pretend that she's listening to Tame Gay. And she was wearing basically a painting from Ross Dress for Less as a shirt. Did you notice that? It was like a grey painting and it said creme de la creme from Ross Dress for Less. I thought you were going to say it was going to be a painting it was going to be a shirt that had like an Eiffel Tower on it and then just said Paris

in script. Yeah, it's like one of those it's like Paris in five different languages or like uh a home is where the heart is with strange different like size fonts and like a chicken yeah you know those paintings that you buy that were like on a card that you saw 10 years ago and that copyright is up or whatever so they're like hey let's just make a plastic painting out of it and sell it at ross by the way i'm totally going to tj maxx this week because when we were in austin one of our listeners kat i believe um uh she gave us each uh tj maxx gift certificate so i'm totally gonna go so uh you're gonna see what sort of wait till this one yeah wait till this one

right here it gets some ceramic chef art for his kitchen. I want the ceramic chef cookie jar. Do not get it. Yeah, I don't know. I'm actually excited. I have to take stock in my kitchen and see what I actually need. TJ Maxx makes me nervous because I'm a Ross shopper, and TJ Maxx is very fancy to me. It's gotten fancy, especially the one at the Beverly Connection.

Super fancy. I'm like, whoa, isn't there supposed to be a piano player in here? I mean, wow, this place is fancy. Pass the horse divorce. Yeah, I'm expecting Heather Dubrow to walk through here. Okay, so anyway, I just wrote huge vagina. Oh, wait.

Okay, so he's talking about his workout and Tamara's mom is just like, well, have you pooped? And then Tamara, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Ryan's coming over to not beat his wife. Creme de la creme shirt. Oh, Eddie was like, yeah, well, you know, Tamara not being at the gym means that we're having more sex now. I don't know if they meant independently or what.

He's like, we're having more sex. And then Tamara's like, hello, batch. Have you met my mother? You're talking about sex in front of my mother. And he's like, you got pregnant when you were 10. So I think she's used to it. Yeah, I think the apple doesn't fall too far from the creme de la creme. Yeah. So then Tamara brings up the psychic that she knows.

Because last week when she was all, you know, Christian-ly nonjudgmental about the psychic. This week she's like, oh, yeah, I have a psychic too, Patches. But he's like, good. And he's going to come and we're going to totally talk about psychic things from the future. Like he's told me so many things. Like one time he told me that Ryan's baby was going to be a girl because the doctor thought it was a boy. I'm like, oh, my God. how big are the vaginas in this family? I know.

Jesus Christ, people, calm down. How could the doctor think that it was a boy? What was he seeing? I don't know. You know what? It's funny. Speaking of that, Ryan and his fiance, don't they show up then, right? Because they've moved down to Orange County.

And the fiance to me reminds me of oh, I forget her name. She's so funny, but on Reno 911, the blonde one. Oh my god, she does look like her. It's like her out of uniform, right? She's the chick on the Goldbergs now, yeah.

Yeah, she's so funny. Coven McLevey? Yeah, exactly. But you know, the character she played on Reno 911 was like now, yeah. Yeah, she's so funny. Coven McLevvy? Yeah, exactly. But, you know, the character she played on Reno 911 was, like, sort of super trashy, and that's what the fiancé reminds me of. Oh. Yeah, she does look like her. I'm trying to think who else she looks like.

Oh, she also looks like Judy Greer a little bit. I would have to re-examine. Re-examine, okay? I will re-examine. She does. I would have to re-examine. Re-examine, okay? I will re-examine. But anyway, they come and of course the son looks like he's auditioning for Sons of Anarchy too late. AKA, he just came straight from the Orange County Fair. Yeah, Orange County gets everything later. Are they just getting Sons of Anarchy over there?

I think so. I just peed on the doorstep. All right, Mom. Yeah. So he's a loser. Anyway, every time I see him now, I'm like, why Peter? So is he meth-y or is he... I don't think he's meth-y.

I think he's just, you know, typical Orange County trash. Is it just like old steroid use? He's very Mission Viejo. Very Mission Viejo. Y'all, don't get dollar store jail. That shit seeps right through your brain, y'all. Yeah. Oh, Bueller, you're so cute.

Bueller just threw himself on his back and is looking at me upside down. Still not petting you. You're far. So then we cut to Vicky. Vicky and Brooks are having a conversation. And Vicky's all sad. She's like, when am I going to stop feeling like I'm in a funk?

Which cracked me up because she's saying this to a guy who has cancer. Allegedly. I know. What are you going to worry about the funk? I mean, I know your mom died, which is very sad. But, I mean, this guy's got cancer. She's like, yeah. Oh, gosh.

You know, I mean, just such a funk. You know, it's so hard on me just your cancer and then cancer and then coming home after talking about cancer all day to your cancer and oh my gosh and then keeping a binder of your cancer i mean it's a lot of organization and then all that white bread that i can't buy because you know it's defeating the cancer that's hard on me you know he's like, I hear a funk every day and it's blasting on the dance floor and I step touch to it

and the song is called Vicky. We got the funk, baby. And it's you. Oh, Brooks, you're so sweet. But I'm just, you know, I'm real sad. She's such a weirdo.

I like when she gets like that. She's like catatonic. She's like, I'm so upset that I'm whispering in front of the gate with a martini for no reason. I had too much fun. I went in the pool with my dress on. Too much fun. It was like I was at Andalese. Maybe you're in a funk because you're standing in front of your driveway with a martini instead of doing something with your life.

Bueller, get out of there. I'm sorry. It's probably UPS, darling. I've been shot. I thought that was Heather Dubrow back there. That was Colette. She just crawled out of the cabinets and scared Bueller. Yeah.

I thought she crawled out of the TV. Did you watch a videotape of her recently? So now, Vicky, no. So Brooke starts, no to you. I was knowing myself. I know. I know. It's okay.

Brooke starts talking about his cancer. I'm foreshadowing, okay? I know storytelling, okay, Ben? I know how to describe a funk. Okay. So Brooke starts talking about his doctors, and he's like, well, yeah, you know how to describe a funk. Okay. So, Burke starts talking about his doctors. And he's like, well, yeah, you know, it's been so hard. Like, one day I go to a doctor.

And then five years later, I go to another doctor. But I'm real excited about this new doctor. Because he is the kind of cancer I have. Well, not the kind I had before. But the kind I have now. The brand I have now. And he just drinks a lot of juice. Oh, my God.

I know. God help me. And have you noticed that he's talking like quad now he's trying to sound very smart and presidential yeah yeah he's like sorry no no you go ahead i was gonna say he's like quad and jules the daffodil has it baby pretty much he's like my cancer is a daffodil quality of the elliptical. It's like, what are you talking about? The Hodgkin's lymphoma track of the cancer cell of the inebrium came in through the spiritual side of the and heretofore. Vicky's like, oh, okay. Just, you know, just call me if you need somebody to talk to, you know. Call me if you want to team up and play Spell Tower together, you know, while you're over there. You know, if you want to whoop it up, you know, call me if you want to team up and play Spell Tower together, you know,

while you're over there. You know, if you want to whoop it up, you know, at the chemo ward. I mean, the non-chemo ward, the juice ward.

The chemo ward. Call me from the chemo ward slash juice bar. And if your doctor wants to whoop it up, we can all whoop it up together,

but not too much. Otherwise, I have to stand here by the gate again. I would go inside, but I'm waiting for Brooks to get home from the Orange Kimo Julius. And until then, I'm just going to stand here

with a martini and a funk, okay? Oh, Orange. You know, Brooks, he's about to get his punch card gotten to the 10th time at Jamba Kimo. Okay. So now it's the – Tamara has gathered the ladies, right? Heather and Megan at the restaurant because they're going to meet with the psychic.

And Tamara is – she still can't believe that Shannon called her a shitster. How does Tamara not accept this? How does she – at this point, how can she not believe that she's called her a shit stirrer how does tamra not accept this how does she know at this point how can she not believe that she's a shit stirrer why is this a surprise to her that anyone ever called her a shit stirrer she is the queen shit stirrer of bravo yep i'm loving her um her faux christian way of saying it too she's like oh i had so much fun the other day batch and you know it was even fun hanging out with people i don't necessarily but can you believe i mean how could she call me that i was like oh my god okay jesus forgives but he also has on demand okay no yeah for christ's sake lady give it up uh yeah and then she blames megan she's like it's because Megan's around I think when Megan's around that

That Shannon Like it just sets her off Because she doesn't like young people Mr. Dior So then the psychic comes in This is Scott Cruz And Megan comes in Hey guys

I know there's a psychic in here guys And yeah The psychic is a FaceTime Hey, I hear there's a psychic in here, guys. And yeah, the psychic is a FaceTime stamp. FaceTime psychic. And Megan's like, look, my husband. Yeah, that's the crazy part. Tamara's like, so you know what's funny? We've actually never met.

We've only done it on FaceTime. I'm like, this could not sound sketcher if you asked it. So this guy comes in, Scott Cruz. And so now, funny story story now it comes to ben's anecdote time uh oh do it i'm standing at the gate with a drink just waiting for your love to wash over me my funk now like tamra i have never met scott cruz in person but um back in the day there was a website called connection uh it was like a gay social social network semi like dating sort of thing and um scott cruz and i used to talk and um back then he wasn't a psychic by the way color me floored when i saw that he was a psychic on the show

he was doing some sort of like music thing i think whatever and we always talked we'd be flirtatious i think we even did a little sex thing i'll say it we did a little sex thing and then i heard he did some sort of sketchy massage thing um and uh so i never i actually how could you even sex with somebody who talks with his hands that much like how did he even how did he even find the ability to text because when he talks he's like marcel marceau he's like building a wall in front of him his his did you notice that he was doing that he has like a traffic control gesture while he talks he's like and then i talk to south and he's like directing he's like directing the plane in and out of the slip i know like what a plane's going to exactly and um and so like to me like when he came up on screen first of all he looked

great i was like oh at the very least he looks great but uh i was like this guy who's like like dabbling in massage and that was a psychic like what is going on with this dude crazy not only that but this this town is so gross that this guy was dabbling as a music person then dabbling as a whore masseuse masseuse and then uh dabbling as a psychic and then moved to orange county because he couldn't make it he didn't any of the three he didn't move to orange county remember tamra said that he's like he's in la oh ben you need to oh that's right that's right that's yeah so i don't know to me so when i saw this guy was on a psychic i was like oh my goodness my goodness i think i think i dodged a bullet with that one what is up with psychics every single psychic saying your grandmother loves

you who gives a shit you know if i paid you fucking 200 300 for a psychic reading and you sat down and you're like well your meemaw loves you well fuck off could you find someone more interesting to talk to i'm like i barely called her when she was here no she's still alive actually sorry meemaw but you know if if she was gone it's like find me someone more interesting to talk to for christ's sake i barely call that woman as it is i know exactly and you know you know it was hilarious to me the readings he was giving because it was like he was when megan was saying like or someone was saying that shannon has an issue with megan he's like oh well you know that's because megan's a threat it's like oh congratulations did like did did some like spirit from the beyond like give you this very easy to deduce information here's a young pretty girl yeah yeah heather's heather's me ma

said it also i love that this is a total setup by tamra obvious it's like obvious the first of two by the way the first of two major bombshell setups uh this week on bravo the second one we'll be talking about later cameras was just as bad she just doesn't have people with enough balls to call her out on it like married to medicine but it's an obvious setup and then this guy no one brings up shannon he does he's like yeah and i sense that you have a problem with an old awful person it's like shut up come on like uh like uh tamra didn't totally tell him that before yeah give me a break this guy is totally off of backstage west yeah i know it was it was crazy to me um so the big thing that he says obviously is that when they're talking about um

brooks having cancer which i'm surprised why would they even bring up brooks having cancer at this psychic reading? You know, most people just care about like, you know, the bullshit in there. And by the way, Tamara rolling her eyes at Vicky's psychic. Right. And then she brings in this guy and she's like, oh, but this guy's good. Yeah. She's a fucking hypocrite.

It's so funny. She's like, well, mine's on FaceTime. So at least I know he can afford a phone. Yeah. So Scott Cruz says, like, I know you can afford a phone, bitch. So Scott Cruz says, like, I don't see cancer. Like, I'm not saying it's not there. I just don't see it. Well, yeah, of course you don't see it because, first of all, how can you get a psychic reading on a person who's not even in the room?

Right? Isn't the whole thing? And how can you see it if your hands are waving in front of your face? So maybe you should stop moving your arms so much. Maybe you can see something. Not even Jackie, Sean, Sean, Sean in Melbourne does readings on people who aren't in the room. She has to speak to them or be around them.

That's what most psychics do. You can't just pluck someone out of the ether and be like, oh, tell us about that person. No, I don't see the cancer. No, I don't see... Oh, she's having a tough time, I think. Oh my God, she is having a tough time I think oh my god she is having a tough time but I think shit but things are turning around oh but she is feeling better but it's gonna take a

while but she did say I was gonna take a while oh my god he's so good every time a bus passes he's like someone has cancer on that bus someone has cancer stop the bus uh it's gone now gone oh that dog that dog's gonna limp in a year shut up he's I'm not seeing cancer, but I am seeing schmancer. And also, how can you see cancer if it's not dead yet? Did I already say that? Well, isn't it possible that maybe in Brooks' defense, maybe the cancer is going to be healed. Maybe that was the psychic vibe that he got, that the cancer's gone away or going away. Not that it was.

Anyway, I'm not even going to argue with Scott. I don't see the cancer. I also loved when he said, well, normally I meditate before I do a reading. Like, I meditate for 15 minutes. Oh, yeah, this is totally the same thing as sitting down, ordering alcohol, and eating an awesome blossom while you're giving out your fucking psychic reading, you idiot. And everyone's like, wow. Heather's like, yeah, my grandma did love me. She was so nice.

Like, this is really killing me. And then Megan's going to have one baby. And what else did he say? Oh, yeah. And then Tamara's like, yeah, but what about Becca? And then, yeah, the cancer is fake. So, of course, in true Bravo fashion, only on Bravo does someone say a psychic told me. And then it becomes a major storyline for the rest of the time.

Like, what the hell? I know. It's ridiculous. It's like, I got a fortune cookie today. And it said, thank you. Come again. Have a nice day. And Tamara would be like, Vicky's a bitch for the next year.

Yeah. No. No. Tamara would be like, Vicky's a bitch for the next year. No. Her cookie looked like Ryan's baby's vagina. It was so big, everyone thought it was a

folded penis. Anyway. I don't know what we're talking about anymore. Just keep talking. Anyway, now after this fake bombshell, Tamara is hosting

a booty class at Cut Fitness. There was one person who was a little befuddled by it, and that was Shannon, who was like, I don't get this big ass shit going on right now. I think an ass should be small, David. If

you're running and your butt isn't flapping in the wind like a flag, you're not doing it right, David. David, how big was the ass on the mistress that you banged, David? And then Tamara's working so hard to look pro so she can get her gym on TV or whatever. Yeah. And so she proves how professional and hardworking she is by opening the scene by going, how does the mic work? How do I even put this on? Like, how does this work, bitch?

Okay, what do I do? Like, what are the moves I need to do? Like, she's basically saying she's never been there before and asking Eddie how to do it. And then when people liked it, she's like, yeah, I totally just signed up. She's like, now let's all go for a run. Be careful of the warped floors. Don't want you to trip. We're going to do this class outside

because I don't want anybody to assume it. Shannon's like, I can't run. I pee when I run. That's what Shannon talked about her Joker baby vagina. God bless her heart. If I run, I pee in my pants. And then Megan's like, yeah, I need booty class because, like, I can't grow a butt and I can't get implants because they're, like, really dangerous.

And then Tamara and the biggest setup of the season so far is like, oh, yeah, we just did my exercise class batch. So I got Brooks a cake. I invited Brooks over. Yeah. Of course you did. Brooks's birthday. And Vicky's like, well, you know, Brooks can't eat cake, but Cancer loves it. So let's just celebrate Cancer's birthday.

Woohoo! Cancer loves it, so let's just celebrate Cancer's birthday. Woo-hoo! Meanwhile, I'm surprised that Shannon was even able to participate in this entire conversation because based on her exercise, I'm still imagining her flopping around doing the squats. Shannon, can you drop your butt down a little more? No. No. No.

David? No. My butt is not going any lower. David? David? But yeah, so Tamara brought this cake over. David? David?

But yeah, so Tamron brought this cake over. And then Megan used this opportunity to invite everyone to go to a NASCAR race in Fontana. Oh, God. Such trash. So good. I smell a Sheena crossover. Yeah, exactly. Fontana is very close to Azusa.

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NASCAR is sort of my thing, so I ain't de-mailed wheels to my shoes. I can't believe they're racing cars the same week as my birthday and my wedding that's so rude so Brooks eventually shows up after everybody gives Shannon her 5 seconds

I mean Megan her 5 seconds of screen time Brooks shows up and he's like well hello thank you for this wonderful cake the heretofore of the cake eating of the cancer and the lymphoma Hodgkin's Michael A. Jordan Thank you for this wonderful cake. The heretofore of the cake-eating of the cancer. And the lymphoma Hodgkin's Michael A. Jordan single-celled inside of me. People are like, get to the point, Batch.

So he starts talking about his cancer and how he's going to put chemo on pause. Because he's had it for five years, all different types. And now he's going to go to this doctor that's going to put him on a juice diet and give him lots of revesterol. And Heather's like, yeah, that's, uh, you know, that's what's in wine. That's what they say keeps you young. That's what's in red wine, but it's not in my method champagnoise. And also, Heather knows better than anybody that that shit doesn't work. Otherwise, she wouldn't have staple gunned her fucking face to look like a gerbil yeah revesterol is this doesn't work okay this cast proves it so the key thing is that brooks when he's talking about his cancer first

of all again the producers are playing stupid coconut music they're like boom boom boom boom and then on top of that he's like yeah this, this doctor had the kind of cancer that I had. I mean, have. And then everyone's like looking at each other like Felix the Cat clocks looking back. Did you hear that? I love that. Did you hear that? That was amazing.

I love that clock. So everybody's looking back and forth at each other, freaking out. Meanwhile, he's just like has an excuse to drink a bottle of wine a day now. But I mean, it sounded like it was just a slip of the tongue because he said, well, the doctor has the same kind of cancer that I had. Well, have he he had it. I mean, it sounded like he was just whatever. I mean, he's been lying so long that if he is lying, he should be better at it. I think it was just a slip of the tongue.

The man is trying to make a poetry card every time he speaks, you guys. It's not easy. Yeah. I actually think it was a slip of the tongue also. And also, what was I going to say about this stupid Brooks cancer thing? Oh, everybody, when he left, of course, everybody, and by everybody, I mean Tamara, brings up, did you notice what he said? Well, no.

Well, actually, what first happened was that Megan actually broached the topic. So Megan is like, she says this, and then Megan actually tells Shannon, she goes, we met with a psychic the other day, and the psychic says Brooks doesn't have cancer. And I was like, dun, dun, dun. other day and the psychic says brooks doesn't have cancer and it's like dun dun dun i'm like oh well in that case a psychic some uh random psychic from weho who who has dabbled in psych psychicness so that has a seuss horror psychic yeah has has declared this um that uh really cracked me up so um oh and then Tamara following it up with, I really don't like that Megan brought that up because now it's a topic of conversation. Bitch, you just

brought a FaceTime psychic in on national TV. Okay, it's going to be a topic of conversation. Exactly, and on top of that, if she didn't want it to be a topic of conversation, she shouldn't have said, hey, did you hear what Brooks said? Brooks said had instead of have. I'm like, well, you are actually now perpetuating this as a topic of conversation. Yep.

So then Shannon starts getting super uncomfortable. And I guess we can just move over to, oh. Well, no, then Heather goes, the scene ends with Heather going, I'm not sure it's our business, which is kind of the motto of this show. People would be like, it's probably not our business, but let's keep talking about it anyway. No, we don't want to talk about your fucking house anymore. So bring on the fake FaceTime cancer, you know, figure outer. I also liked when Brooks was like, well, you know, I'm going. Because they were saying, why are you quitting chemo? Because people have to do that. He's like, well, I do it every six going. Because they were saying, why are you quitting chemo?

Because people have to do that. He's like, well, I do it every six. Was it six weeks or six months or something? He's like, I do it every six something or other. Six weeks. But, you know, it hasn't been working, that darn chemo. So now I'm going to just, you know, have some juice or whatever. It's called being aggressive.

And then they even got on him about saying being aggressive because Vicky was saying, oh, I'm not going to stop because I'm going to be aggressive because that's how you beat cake eating cancer. And then they show a clip of her saying that and then talking about how aggressive she is with a book, filing papers in a book with different colored tabs. What the hell is going on on this show i have no idea i don't even understand my own notes and i just watched it right before we started this and i'm like what and then in the middle of all this bravo inserts a scene of vicky trying to write 1 million on a smart board and it keeps on changing to 1 000 and she did like four times she's like okay it's gonna work this time now we write 1 million. She's like, okay, it's going to work this time now. We write one million and it's like one

thousand. No, one million. She thinks it's broken, but it's actually taking into account the Don years. Like every time she puts in money, it's going to take like 90% of it out. This smart board is telling you, work it out, okay? Even if the guy

just sits on your couch all day and you fuck other people at night, who cares? Work it out. It's cheaper. Let's just whoop it up on the smart board now. Whoop it up. They're like, do you mean work it out? No, whoop it out. Do you mean work it out?

Whoop it up. Oh, God. Dan, get Dan in here to fix this. Dan, it'll only show up on the screen as W-O because you took half the letters. You're ruining my catchphrase. That's going to be on T-shirts, Dan. Whoop it up, Whoopi Goldberg. No, Whoopi Goldberg.

Geez, Dan, can you fix this? I love also that Vicky still takes her time to make little digs where she's like, oh know that grandbaby sure helped Tamara be a nicer person she needed that what was I going to say oh yeah Tamara sitting there being so judgmental about Vicky's relationship and then in walks child in walks wife abuser

so like it's my grandbaby oh take a break out of your judging somebody else to hug your sons of anarchy extra wife beater that'll be fun i was um by the way i was surprised uh that heather dupreau did not sanitize herself uh to hold the baby not because i have any objections to it i just thought of anyone she would be the first one to sanitize herself and i was a little surprised and impressed that she was like oh whatever i've had four kids she've had four kids. She's had four kids.

She's probably like, there are a lot more germs in their household than there are in my arms right now, so I'll just hold the baby. Yeah, no kidding. She's like, they're way poorer than me. What, is it going to catch Rich? I was just impressed that Heather was holding the baby at all and didn't bring a nanny in to do it, because you know that her ass didn't hold her own.

Yeah, exactly. She's like, well, whatever. I'm Heather Dubrow, woman of the people. None of us want to hold our babies. Am I right? It's me, Shannon. I mean, it's me, Heather. What is my problem today?

Fucking A. So anyway, then we move on to the climactic scene of the episode, which is that it's Brooks' birthday dinner. And this whole thing happens on Brooks' birthday. So one thing we forgot to mention in the exercise class is that Brooks enjoyed himself a glass of sake, which, I mean, I don't know what the deal is. Are you not supposed to drink booze when you have cancer or chemo? No, it feeds the, you know, cancer loves booze. Cancer is an alcoholic and a cake addict. Remember Daisy couldn't drink booze. is an alcoholic cake addict remember daisy

couldn't drink booze remember on um blood sweat and heels well yeah you're you're basically drinking poison so if you're having cancer you can't be having that stuff but yeah he had that and then everybody started ripping apart every little thing about the records and then shannon did her favorite shannon move where she's pretending to be such a big victim and everything and that's when she gets like really adamant about something that she already knows is going to go haywire so that when she cries about it later she can talk

about what a good friend she is. She's done this many many times and I'm on to you bitch and I love that she does it in this show or this episode. She's like well Brooks Brooks has cancer. Who would make up something about cancer? No one would do that.

And I just want to support Vicky. And that's why I'm trying to get him to go to a doctor. Because I want to help him. Because all I care about is Brooks. And it's very real cancer. Because you know that shit's going to hit the fan very soon. And by the way, I actually would like to say something. Which is that shannon mentioned

that when brooks got his diagnosis that she offered to put him in touch with someone like someone high up at children uh is it called city of hope whatever it is um you but it's like a very famous uh cancer program slash hospital like really famous of course that's of course i can't remember what it's called i think it's called city of hope but that's a big that's actually a big deal and um the fact that brooks did not tear her up on that i mean that's a little surprising to me like if you all get back to when i get my medical records and yeah it's like saying that he has all of his medical records in uh vicky binder with all the organized tabs and stuff. They just kept catching him in lie after lie.

The booze is pretty damning. And the fact that he didn't... This is your life they're talking about. If you have cancer, that's serious. Most people are willing to do whatever they can to get rid of it. Because it's just not something that you fuck around with. So I know, personally, if someone had an in with someone very high up in a renowned institution for

treating cancer i wouldn't be like oh yeah yeah i'll i'll get back to you like that's that is very fishy and i i agree with shannon on that yeah it's pretty fish so the they go to they go back at applebee's or whatever so it's a double date with shannon and vicky and their hubs their mans it's it's brooks birthday dinner where brooks treats himself to two cocktails two cocktails yeah well you know those those uh commercials they used to show where there's uh people with holes in their throat and they're still smoking the cigarette through the hole in their throat yeah so maybe it's like that so maybe he's just an alcoholic too

so you can cut out his tongue but he'll still try and make a very romantic greeting card for you with his words the psychic is like I am not seeing any sobriety sorry so anyway so

Megan is uncomfortable i'm not megan sorry shannon is uncomfortable because she knows what the girls have been saying and she feels like she's being a bad friend by not telling vicky and so shannon's getting more and more let's do it at his birthday dinner why not call him a liar at his birthday dinner you know a good friend a good friend wouldn't wait until the next day i'm a good friend becky this is not shannon's shining moment in terms of judgment because uh i mean i understand why she feels awkward about it but girl just hold on a day like you can literally wait this is so not pressing you know yeah give it a sec but i think the i think the issue is that shannon was probably drunk and so she was feeling drunk and she felt like she had to get out.

So she calls Vicky into the bathroom. And she's like, well, David and I are having a wonderful time, which is surprising because I normally have so many negative thoughts at this time of the day. And I have to tell you something that the girls were saying. And Megan said something that was so awful about Brooks. And, you know, I love you and Brooksie. I love you. I love you. It was so awful.

And Vicky's like, don't want Vicky's like don't want to hear it don't want to hear it Vicky immediately gets pissed that she's even going to bring it up anything up on his birthday which I actually loved that she got so pissed off I thought it was hilarious and also I just love that she's so fucking fed

up with it because you know she knows what's coming and she's like really you're going to do this in the middle of an awesome blossom? And also Shannon's totally fake crying. She's doing her whole, well, you know, and then the girls are saying, I just want to be a good friend to you. And no tears are coming out. She's just like. I think she's real crying. I think that Shannon is not real.

I think she real cries because she's such a mental case. But I think she's real crying. I think that Shannon is not real, girl. I think she real cries because she's such a mental case. But I think what happens... Sometimes she does real cry and that's how I know it's fake because when... Unlike some Botox bitches on these shows,

when she cries, actual tears come out. Yeah. And they didn't today. She was just like, Oh, Vicky! Oh, God! Oh!

Well, the thing is, Vicky was annoyed, but she wasn't really mad at first. She was just like, No, don't want to talk about it. don't want to talk about it, let's just go back out there. So they go back out there, and Shannon is, like, still crying. And she's like, she actually can't, this is why I think it was real, because she couldn't get it together, you know? She just was still, like, crying.

And the more she cried, the more Vicky got annoyed, because now Shannon was making things strange at the table. And Vicky's like, you know, you didn't, Vicky's mindset was you didn't have to bring this up. And now you're like, I'm not crying. Why are you crying? You're making this so awkward. And they're like, oh, Vicky, don't shoot the messenger. But Vicky's like, no, like, that's it. I'm not going to.

This is now it's ruined. You're being awkward. And then Vicky stormed out. And then Shannon's like, I'm not going to ruin Brooks's birthday. I'm not going to ruin it. I'm like, you're bawling at the table over some stupid bullshit. You are absolutely ruining it. And also, she never told

Vicky what the thing was, so Vicky didn't even know what she was mad at. She's just like, that's it. I'm not going to listen anymore. Brooks loves me more than anybody else in the world, and if Brooks wants to feed his cancer Cake Then fine we'll start a Yelp for cakes

I am here to support Brooks And that's it That's it Start screaming and yelling And then leaves And she says fuck you To Shannon She screams fuck you and leaves

And then Shannon's like oh Ricky Well that was terrible David's like, oh, Ricky. Well, that was terrible. David's like, yeah, that did not go well, honey. Yeah. Shannon's like. So good. Shannon's basically like, well, I didn't want to let her go. I would have run after her, but you know.

If I run, I pee in my pants. And that's where the episode ended for the week. So that was a little RHOC. And next week looks great. It looks like Vicky finally has it out with Megan. You know, we've been waiting for Vicky to unleash her fury on my 30-year-old. And it looks like it's finally going to happen. So I'm excited about that.

Oh, yeah. I forgot to add that, of course, when they're in the bathroom and Shannon's fake crying to Vicky, she goes, you won't believe what Megan was saying about Brooks today. Of course, she has to take it and make it about the 30-year-old and nobody else. Fucking Shannon. I love it. So now you want to go on to Married to a Men. Yeah, let's go to Married to Medicine. I have to say something.

I enjoyed this episode. Yeah, let's go to Married to Medicine. I have to say something. I enjoyed this episode. I, you know, normally I find this show to be more boring than an Ed Sheeran song. But no, this was actually entertaining for me. I was actually kind of like into it. Although they did use a loop pedal like Ed Sheeran did. Because they just kept saying the same things over and over.

It was like they have nothing to talk about. So they just keep repeating their segments. It was like they have nothing to talk about so they just keep repeating their segments. Toria is just... Every single segment is like, I'm gonna get infusions for the people. Like, go get them drunk or they're gonna be getting infusions in their face. That's how Uchida does it. Every segment.

Uchida's gonna get more vitamins. Gotta get more vitamins, which I don't think is that cost-effective because we can't be giving out $400 blenders to everyone. No vitamins, Toria Toya, vitamins. Oh, what I should have done was double check the spelling. I thought a vitamin was a blender. It was a sponsored blender. At first, people ain't going to want Fred Flintstone

to inject into them, but I deal with Uji that we found love. Well, I've decided Marvel is so big right now that I'm going to expand the Marvel Universe and give everyone Spider-Man vitamins and it'll cure the hangover. Get the ambulance. So she's talking infusions. Meanwhile, Qua has a shop, a pop-up shop. And the shop is a pop.

And don't be laughing at the shop when it's popping, honey, because that is coin, okay? When you see my here to therefore of the shop popping up, there is coin flowing from the change machine. Put a $5 bill and they get 20 back because that is my A-Team Mop Pop

Shop. What? The coin goes in. Don't be shading the pop-up shop because the corn goes in and what comes out is more coin like what quad this ain't don't don't eat popcorn eat popcorn that comes out of my shop my shop popcorn a pop shop is popping coin you can slice the meatloaf anywhere you want honey But the draperies are on the pop-up shop You can say what you want about my shop But my shop about to pop Don't put mustard on it

What? You can put the quad in my machine But guess what the pop-up shop will still be on the roller skates Is that a deal? Quad talking about her pop-up shop Killed me She's like I have gone all out for this pop-up shop. Here to fall.

I have gone on social media. I've had my friends go on their here to fall media of the social. I'm like, that is not putting it out there, Quad. What kind of PR is that? I'm like, would you please download the repost retweet app or whatever you could extra like my pop-up shop that has no address and we'll never be in the same place again like what's that helly she's like well this particular pop-up shop has a particular amount of publicity because i have done some particular tweets on the twitter social media

network in particular. She loves saying, she loves adding random words like particular or like quite. Remember, what was the thing a few weeks ago? She had been saying like, we've had quite a disagreement. Well,

there was, there were several words. We had a particular word was said in quite some time. She needs to shut up. I was very happy because this episode we got to see Carrie coming back. Carrie. Yeah. She's like, Duncan, she and Duncan are going to Aspen soon, but she wanted to go visit Toya first.

I'm so busy. Duncan loves to go to vacation all over the world. Toya's like, infusion! Eugene, infusion! Carrie just sat there staring at her board. And Tori's like, we're gonna do injections, we're gonna do lip things, we're gonna do things for the eyes, we're gonna do things

on the head, in the hair. And Carrie's just looking at her like, been there, done that. Like, what are you telling me for, bitch? Seriously, you're going to pull up in front of my house on a bicycle and expect this to get done? This is a raft in my lip, bitch. You think you're going to compete with this? I have been struggling with injections for the past 20 years.

It's a personal struggle of mine. But I'm getting to the top of it. And I'm going to Aspen where I'll find a new injection. I'm going to inject snow into my lips. Quartz next pop-up shop will henceforth be in my lips. There's corn in my lips. But you know what? I jumped ahead, because the first thing that happened was, as you were mentioning, Toya was going around to these different houses with a little jean for Nomadd to give vitamins to get people off the hangovers

um so then at first they go to jill and jill's like what are you doing here but it's like stupid because there's a camera crew inside jill's house so for her to be surprised is ridiculous why would you break into people's house the first thing in the morning for infusions i'm going to sit here and watch you and say wow a lot blink blink she's like wow vitamins i already took some vitamins today what are you doing here oh my god i love that eugene's like well you know this i'm just really uncomfortable this is more like sales i just want to be doing something i'm comfortable with and she and tori is like you use comfortable in the in the er and he's like yeah exactly she's like it's the same thing ugin he's like no actually it's really not the same thing as the er toya okay going to

rich ladies houses and injecting rubber into their lips is not the same thing as like you know putting together someone who just got hit by a bus yeah exactly and i love toya now her thing is that she wants to turn little mad md into like a brick and mortar location where people can come in and get their injections like first of all this is totally against the idea of nomad md nomad md the idea is that you get house calls that's what makes it special second of all now it's totally away from it it's basically she's making a spa which has nothing to do with medicine or house calls it's totally totally different i mean now that you're talking the er maybe we could get people to maybe you could sell it to the people in the er maybe they break their spine or something give them a new nose i know for you

it's like great this this business is already not doing well it's already losing money so you know the last thing it needs it needs overhead like okay take on some business space and some like full-time employees yeah that's a great way to get out of it toya eugene looks so uncomfortable and jill just turns right away from eugene like she just stops pretending that she's even listening to his direct tv spiel because that's totally how he was acting and she's like well blink blink i wanted to talk about heavenly she was so rude to my husband and then it cuts to heavenly talking about it and she's like she's like i don't know what asinine what was she saying was she talking about jill when she

was like that is just oh i told him to be asinine yeah she was telling toya this when toya questioned her she was like i just i didn't tell him to require i was just i didn't know what asinine stuff was gonna come out of his mouth you know know, if you assume something, if you assume and you make an ass out of you and nine. It's like, Heavenly, just shut up. Heavenly's like another one who's trying to pretend she's way smarter than she is. I also love how in the beginning of the episode we saw

Heavenly's two boys and it's like, they just don't appear on camera. It's like, it's all Allura or Lauren, whatever her name is. And it's like, oh, she actually has two boysuren whatever her name is and it's like oh she actually has two boys too i wonder how they feel about the fact that they are basically you know shoved in the closet or something you know they do not seem to like her yeah they never finish their breakfast and they never speak to her they you just see them grunt and leave yeah they just like they're

just like these these like spirits that float through and get off cameras yeah um so then we also saw lisa nicole so lisa nicole is still dealing with the aftermath of having been not invited to simone's um moms versus kid basketball game and so lisa nicole the classy girl that she is you know her her kids were excited to go to the basketball game and instead of saying it's oh you know it's not gonna be happening or we can't do it anymore she's like well mommy got disinvited from the basketball game and instead of saying it's oh you know it's not gonna be happening or we can't do it anymore she's like well mommy got disinvited from the basketball thing and i don't know like that seems mean and she basically she basically embroils the kids in this thing and i thought that was totally terrible oh that's so gross and she did it the she did it over and over the entire scene yeah and i love that she was making it a family night scene.

She's like, well, you know, what we do is have family night because we find that the best time spent is family time spent. And so we're together. Because you weren't invited anywhere. Right. Exactly. No one will invite you. And she's like, everyone hates us, but at least we have each other. And then cut to Darren holding his pool stick, looking like he just wants to fucking kill himself.

I know. Oh, and please, Darren, please shave off that Brillo pad. And, you know, the least you can do is fix that facial hair because it is absolutely terrible. But I like this. Sorry. They just were like in jail. That was like family jail. It was like those family nights where no one wants to be together.'re just kind of forced to be yeah like we're here because we want

to not because we are being shunned by the entire cast look how much father fun your father is playing with that stick yeah just like miserable in the corner she literally says at one point no matter what the world throws at us nothing gets between us i'm like uh except the stripper or five yeah no kidding except a really cheap five dollar sushi menu at the strip club bitch yeah but you know what they're like darren oh i'm sorry go ahead i don't know you can say what you're i was just gonna say uh i like when darren said i like pool because you know my mother raised me in what what was called the. Oh, is that what that term is called? I've never heard of it. These people.

Is Lisa Nicole on something? Because she has Garfield eyes. They're always half closed. And she talks really weird and slow. I have no idea. But, you know, she did actually have a good point. Which is that this basketball thing is like a mother-child, mother-son event. And Quad doesn't have kids.

So it is a little weird that Quad got the invite over Lisa Nicole. Kind of, except that supposedly, and this is obviously off our Facebook wall, supposedly Lisa Nicole ran those background checks on everybody. Quad is just the one making it her storyline. Right. Well, so then we have, this is when Carrie came in because Carrie then goes and visits Toya

and Toya's talking about this whole craziness and Carrie's like, well, they certainly didn't seem to have a problem hanging out together at Porsche Williams' event. And sure enough, on Instagram, there it is. There was actually like a little collage that someone had posted

and was like, here's Quad on the carpet and there's Lisa Nicole. They're both on their cheap ass blue carpet or whatever. Give me a break. They weren't there together. And also, look, Quad has the right to suspend the rules because Portia is more famous than any of these bitches. Exactly. But it was all the fuel that was needed to make things interesting this episode. So then we go to the pop-up shop where Quad is using Swarovski crystals on her dog clothes.

I don't know. You ever see those fancy Swarovski crystals? Lord. Swarovski. Swarovski. Like Norman Swartzkopf. Yes. Nothing says fashion authority thing calling swarovski

crystals i'm not even sure if it's swarovski crystals properly but you know though i'm not a fashion authority so yeah you're not ben um because quad actually knows how to run a pop-up shop and i really liked how she explained it to us she was like i am having a shop that's going to pop. And people will come to my shop. And I will say, four score 19,000 years ago, a shop was popped. And buyers come. And they see the shop. They see the shop pop. And the clothes crop in the pop shop.

And they'll buy them. I'm like, we know what a fucking store is, Quad. For Christ's sake, we know how it works. Like, buyers come and they buy things and then sell them for twice the price so good luck with your 300 fucking sock sized dress yeah and heavenly heavenly is like well we're basically in a warehouse with some curtains up you know and you know the thing is that like a i mean most pop-up shops sure there are pop-up shops and hangers and whatever those are more like pop-up sales like a pop-up shop is when there's an existing shop and then

you take it over for a weekend like you don't take off like a warehouse i mean you can but it just seems like so not smart you know the whole idea of a pop-up you can i mean you can't take over anywhere it's just that there's gonna be dogs pissing everywhere so yeah but like i don't want to take over anywhere. It's just that there's going to be dogs pissing everywhere. I don't think anywhere was going to let them. She had to go to a dog. They were like canine helpers or something. It was like for blind people, which is also very fitting because those clothes were hideous. You better get those blind dogs in here. No one's going to buy those clothes.

You better hope there's some rich blind dogs. Yeah, I mean you can of course do a pop-up shop anywhere. Dogs. Yeah. I mean, you can, of course, do a pop-up shop anywhere. But the whole, I think the way you're supposed to, one of the reasons why you do a pop-up shop is that you maximize your exposure by kind of piggybacking on the exposure of the store that you pop up in, right? So, like, you know, it's like you can have your stuff sold on Main Street USA for three days. And that's, like, a good thing. You get more walk-ins, et cetera, et cetera.

Anyway, I mean, listen, I may be talking out of my ass. my ass again i'm a podcaster so i feel like i have license to do that but i just don't think this was maybe her smartest move either way either way we uh it's during this time that uh toya of course happily tells simone shows her the picture of of quad and lisa nico Nicole being at an event together, and Simone is immediately really pissed off because she sort of made herself look like an asshole, telling

Lisa Nicole that she wasn't allowed to come to her event. So now Simone is like, well, I've got to fix this. So she goes, and she confronts Quad, and she's like, Quad, she's like, like you know you were at an event with lisa nicole basically she basically says i've seen the picture you're at the event and quad is like well you know well you know in this particular event well i mean i had no idea that she was going

to be there and then simone just stares at her doesn't even respond just stares and was like well i mean you know this you know you know there's a lot of people there and you know quad and daffodil you know has it baby and and simone just keep quad simone just keep staring and i loved that quad she like she was just like spiraling down and all simone was doing was just staring at her letting her dig her own grave it was so funny quad was hilarious in the scene well uh i want to get to the heavenly talking to her too because quad was confronted twice and it was so fucking funny well times this time she's she started freaking out when someone's talking to her and then she's like well you know what i would wait hold on i'm trying to see if that's this is the heavenly part

so uh for the uh oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I'm getting lost because I'm laughing at quad words. Yeah. But she's like, yeah, we were both there, but it was a coincidence. Duh. Like it's a party that you both have. Duh.

That's not really a defense. But she goes, were we dressed alike? Did we go as twins? No, we didn't. We weren't there hugging. We weren't in a canoe together going up a mountain. We were just there. It was a coincidence.

What I like is when I move at my own accord. I was like, what? What are you talking about? The point is you were able to be in a space together without there being an altercation. So your whole reason for not for like not showing up if Lisa's there or vice versa is bullshit. She literally said

what I like is when I move at my own accord. Girl. Literally. That's not made up. And then when she was arguing with Heavenly because Heavenly's like, what? And Quad's like, no. I would not like to discuss this right now. She's like, well, you're's like, no, I would not like to discuss this right now. She's like, well, you're going to discuss it because I don't understand.

Heavenly's like, I can't ask a question. And she's like, you and your little friends need to drop it because I will not be speaking about it. You shouldn't even know about this dirty business. I don't even know how you know about it. Unless one of your little friends was talking. It's like, Quad, you were on speaker phone. They all heard you. You filed a police report. You're on TV, you idiot.

She's like, I don't want to bring anybody into this who will confront you or tell you you're wrong. Only people she'll bring are people who kiss her ass. Then she goes, well, that heavenly love's mess. Well, honey, you are not going to get me to wrap my lips around that. I was like, oh, my God.

Perfect timing for the gay guy to walk right up. So this was the most obvious setup I think I've ever seen on Bravo. I have never seen something that was more blatantly planned by someone. Obviously, what I'm saying is that Quad clearly told this guy to approach her, so that way she could seem innocent. Do you want to be Quad, or do you want to be the gay guy?

I'll be the gay guy, but also, one of the employees of the production company was that fan buyer who was talking to her, and I recognized them from here, you know, from just being around. And that was totally an employee pretending to be a buyer. And then they follow

it up with this. This guy. Okay. So, I'll be quad. I am taking pictures in the red carpet. Oh, thank you so much. Quad. Quad everywhere. Daffodil. Quad, quad. Can I please ask you a question? Oh, sure, Hunter. What would you like to know?

What about you and Letha Nicole? I'm sorry, in this particular instance, that's not something that I'm here to for allowed to talk. This is my moment. I'd rather not talk about her. I'd rather not. Well, Letha Nicole's the one who needs to be talking to her mans

because he's sleeping with mens. Well, this is certainly a shock. I can't believe you'd say this right here. Yeah, he is sleeping with me, and so maybe her children need to know that. So you're saying that Lisa Nicole's husband, Darren, Darren Nicole, is sleeping with you? I am shocked. I can't believe this. This is Nicole's husband, Darren. Darren, Nicole, is sleeping with you? I am shocked. I can't believe this. This is a shock.

Go on. What else are you going to say? He stuck his penis so far inside me that $5 sushi came out at the end. I can't believe you are saying this. I have my event to tend to. I can't be listening to these details of Dr. Darren having sex and putting his penis in you and having quads and daffodils come out the other end. I can't. I don't believe this. Go on.

I have to add that she actually said, that is a bombshell, honey. What? I need a bombshell cocktail. I like cocktail really yeah quad she's like what a bombshell producers i hope everyone in the in the room heard this bombshell that i had just learned myself at this very moment that also rhymes with cock and tail yeah bombshell um and then it the editors on the show are such dicks she's like that is a bombshell cocktail and then it cuts to darren holding a stick yeah oh god but it was so i actually was it actually made me mad because you know she can't act okay she was i mean this was worse than theresa on real house of new jersey telling that guy like

hey i never said that melissa was a stripper right he's like no of course not that's what i thought this was even more blatant than that and and the guy the gay guy couldn't actually he was nervous there's no reason why he would come up and why would he tell her tell quad this why would he not approach lisa nicole and he was nervous and he was lingering like he's like is this now what i'm supposed to say my line now and quad is has this like this faux reaction i think quad actually would have laughed if it had really been her you know like yeah you know yeah quad is really bottom of the barrel man i thought this was actually pretty i thought it was pretty deplorable. That guy's literally like a 19-year-old PA on the show, okay?

Yeah. Like, he's obviously someone who either works with that company, and it's obviously easily proven, because as we see next week, Quad's like, I had no idea! And Lisa Nicole's like, really? And then whips out her Instagram, where I guess Quad is like partying with this guy.

Oh my god. Yeah. Quad's disgusting, man. During this whole show, she was saying because she didn't even, of course she doesn't let it go, but she doesn't even wait for the confrontation. She's just every second it cuts to her from now

on, she's like, well maybe he's just a little bisexual. I don't know how you can be a little bit bi, but – Yeah. But the whole point of being bi is that you're – You are a little bit something. Kind of a little bit everything, you idiot. But being bi is kind of noncommittal in general, wouldn't you say, person who probably hated Mariah?

Yeah, I know. And that's another reason why I know this was set up by Quad because because we've seen already, she's very eye for an eye. So Lisa Nicole, she throws a gay rumor at Quad, so Quad responds, she throws a gay one right back. No, it wasn't. But Quad has actually gone out of her way to bring up these really hurtful and harmful rumors that apparently are really not substantiated on national TV where where Lisa Nicole's kids can or may eventually hear. And I just think that what Quad is doing is is really so nasty. And I used to like her, but I think that she is way below the belt yeah she's disgusting and uh also at least lisa nicole's gay rumor came straight from her own mouth it didn't come from some planned pa you know who put on kenya more contacts to get his ass on tv like come on at least lisa nicole had the balls to fucking say it herself exactly and then quads you know simone calls and apologizes, which I

thought was good. I thought it was total bullshit. You apologize after all this shit. If Quad hadn't been at the same party, you still wouldn't apologize? I think it was okay, because she realized... Disinviting somebody to a party was a dick move, period.

It shouldn't have taken you looking like an idiot to apologize. Listen, I disagree with you on this because I think that what she realized was, you know what? I was a total asshole and I was an asshole because I thought I was standing up for something. And I realized that what I was standing up for was bullshit and I did something wrong. And so I'm calling and I'm inviting and she made it right. I actually thought what she did was what you should do, which is that you'd realize what you did was wrong and so i'm calling and i'm inviting and she made it right i actually thought what she did was what you should do which is that you'd realize what you did was wrong and you apologize and then if she had if she had realized that and apologized before she got mad that quad went to some party

then it would be more valid in my eyes but just doing it because like oh now i'm mad at quad and you know i should know it wasn't an issue't doing it. She should have realized that it was rude to disinvite her in the first place. I agree. She should have. But it took Quad doing this for her to realize. You know, she just had the realization at a different time. I don't think she was apologizing to get back at Quad. I guess I'm basically saying that you realize that you're on the wrong team, so you're trying to ingratiate yourself to the other

team again. I don't think, no, I don't think Simone, Simone doesn't need to be on any teams. Simone and Jackie are above these women. They just, they get into the mix sometimes for fun and of course Simone loses her head. But if it

comes to teams, they don't give a fuck. they're doctors they have a life they're educated I don't this is not this is not like Real Housewives of Atlanta they don't have to be on a team I think she sincerely saw that she did something wrong um and she and she dealt with it the proper way as an adult as she mentioned and guess what Lisa Nicole also I thought responded in the what? Lisa Nicole also, I thought, responded in the correct way. Lisa Nicole was like,

okay, well, I really didn't like what you did, but I appreciate the gesture and we will come. You know, it was like... Lisa Nicole's like, I'm really getting sick of awkwardly staring at Darren holding a stick. So we'll be there. Lisa Nicole has driven me nuts many times this season, but I think right now,

I am skewing more towards her than Quad. Oh God, anyone but Quad. Quad's the worst. So we get to this basketball game party and Quad arrives, you know, of course late. And she's like, I felt that it was due competence of importance to arrive at the festivities

because Simone has always supported me and I want to support Simone I'm like yeah right bitch you want to tell everybody in the audience you want to get on the fucking megaphone and be like Darren a faggot

let's just call it what it is okay yeah she and she wanted to have to be the i'm the bigger person she wanted to have that moment shut up quad shut up quad but i you know what i love this basketball game cracked me up i thought it was it was very sweet and i loved how like the parents just wanted to beat their kids not like physically beat them but like actually win the game there's like simone's just like i'm gonna beat them you know and then at the end when they when they actually did win and simone's son was like was crying and i love that simone and and and cecil uh were just

laughing in the interview she's like you know i'm just trying to teach a life lesson and then she just loses it right there yeah he's like you don't know what this feels like. That was so cute. Yeah, this was the episode of the 10-year-olds really having, or the week of the 10-year-olds really having their say with their parents. That was so funny. Yeah. Both of those shows had a 10-year-old freaking out,

and both of them had a total fake setup. Oh, and then when Quad walks in and she's like oh no when lisa nicole walks in with darren uh quad goes oh look at her with her look at him with his phony chick i'm like oh my god yeah this woman is just the fucking worst man yeah really terrible human being yeah which makes me actually believe the quad mariah rumor is even more, to be honest. Oh, gosh. Because she's lashing out a lot. Because that lesbian rumor thing, it came and it went so quickly.

You know? Perhaps probably because Mariah is a producer of this show. But still, it came and it went. No one really cared either way. But wow, Quad is lashing out. So speaking of idiots in Atlanta, why don't we move on to don't be tardy okay what do you think oddly enough i you know every time i've seen this show i just hate it i think it's really one of the worst shows but oddly enough i actually uh sort of

enjoyed this episode it made me laugh um i well her kids are growing up really nicely they're both so cute um her daughter of course brielle's an idiot i love how i love how dumb brielle is she's yeah she is so dumb she's so dumb she's like yeah we're kind of get a crab cake but you're at a crab cakes we'll just get a carrot cake it's the same thing right yeah and then she looked it up on the phone she's like this is literally a cake with a carrot on it she's really really dumb and i love that then she has this like they're also a dumb boyfriend he's cute but dumb and and they like have this conversation where they're like if trees are living does that mean they communicate with other trees and i love that basically kim has just given up on brielle just the way that jim jim jimmy what's his face has

given up on on hailey and orange county kim is just like well brielle's just dumb at this point well and that's funny coming from kim too because really kim doesn't require much i think if kim had a major disappointment it would be that Brielle's dating a poor person. Yeah. I love that when Kim was talking about KJ. KJ is like three. He actually seems like very like, he seems like he's five. He's got like some skills going on.

And I like, Kim is like, you know, talking to KJ is like talking to a 25-year-old. Meanwhile, cut to KJ and he's like, you know, it's funny talking to mom is like talking to a 25-year-old. Meanwhile, cut to KJ, and he's like, you know, it's funny. Talking to mom is like talking to a 3-year-old. Meanwhile, Kim's like drooling. I know. I think KJ is actually the brightest one in that household outside of Kroy. Or Ariana. By the way, I love how Ariana is still right on track to be Jan Brady.

Like, she has been Jan Brady her whole life, and she just continues. She got the braces. She's awkward. I love Ariana. I really like her, yeah. And she seems to know it's all so stupid. I really like her. Did Brielle – this is totally inappropriate to ask about a child, so sorry, everybody, but she's almost 18.

She has a boob job, right? Yeah, those things were huge. Those things – and not only were they huge huge they were like orbs under the skin you know how they look like you can see the crease yeah well they're they're pretty much we're like well brielle doesn't really have much going on upstairs so we might as well give her something that'll get her along in life they don't have brain implants yet so let's just get her a couple of jobs in there yeah um i like when when uh brielle said i totally love slade by the way his name is slade i know i totally love slade he's like literally me and a guy i was like oh my god that's what he says about you

it's like me and a girl um so uh by the way kim zolciak i don't know what's going on with her lipstick but she looks like she's wearing those wax lips that you get like at halloween you know like she they don't even look real anymore they're like mr potato head or none of her looks real kim looks like anime porn at this point yeah she looks like animatronic, weird porn from flash ads on the side of Pornhub. Yeah, she is basically porn. Like, she's in the post-porn life. And I love that when she's talking to Sean, her stylist, she's like, my tits look so good that I'm just going to go braless this year.

Like, wow, really setting the bar high for your goals, Kim. So she got rid of Sweetie because Sweetie was, I don't know, she never really said. They just, you know, insinuated that Sweetie sucked. And Kim opens the show, you know how they do the voiceovers in the beginning? Her voiceover was like, yeah, and I've got kids and they're great. And then I have a baby and he's great. And my husband's still hot. And I finally have a staff that i like yeah like

although her chef was this was the chef on previous seasons i seem to recognize her because the chef oh no that was um rosie i'm just kidding oh well she looks like actually she looks like anna nicole's old uh sidekick oh yeah maybe it is maybe it is who knows no the chef is hilarious i love that girl i love the way that she talks to KJ. And I love when they're talking about this hideous dog that always has a boner out. And she's like, I just need to suck out the balls. She's like, I used to watch my mom suck balls out of dogs all the time.

I don't even know what that means. What was she saying, suck out the balls of a dog? I think the ball is recessing. You know what? I don't know. You have to suck on their nuts and then their wiener goes down? I guess so. I don't know. You know, one time Bueller You have to suck on their nuts and then their wiener goes down? I guess so. I don't know. You know, one time Bueller, when it gets really hot, Bueller gets a huge wiener. Like he can't keep it inside or something.

And one day it was so humongous. It was like laying on the floor like a big pink wiener. Like those foam wieners in pools. It was huge and gross. It was like pulsing. I was like, this is disgusting. And I couldn't look at it, so I tried to ignore it. But it wouldn't go away. And um i asked my friend about it and she was like oh that's

really dangerous like it can't be out you have to put it back in i was like um no mueller will be in front of donut time before i'm shoving that thing back in there i'm not doing it yeah well they were talking about that on the show they talked about that on the show that it comes out and sometimes i can't come back. You know, it was awful. And this is, again, why I like cats. Also, I love how Kim, like, the things that go on in her life are so stupid. Like, the things that matter in her life, you know, it's like, oh, no, we may have to move, which they're not going to.

Spoiler alert, Kroy is still with the Falcons. But I love that, like, brielle has a birthday coming up and kim's like kim literally says brielle's birthday just happens to fall in the middle of free agency so it just adds more stress to our life like what in the world is stressful about brielle's birthday what could that possibly mean to be a bouncy castle that Christ. The girl doesn't know the difference between a crab cake and a fucking carrot cake. Okay?

I'd be stressed too. It's like, this girl's about to be on her own. She does think carrots have legs. Yeah. Well, that's the best part too

is that towards the end, Kim says that she's like, being a mom is what I do best. I'm like, have you seen Brielle? She literally thinks carrots have legs.

You do not do it best blame sweetie darling blame sweetie I don't know this show to me is just so boring Kim is like a lump of fucking silicone she has nothing no personality she bores the hell out of me she has to surround herself with exciting

people to make it even her lame ass cracker husband is more boring than her this show can kiss my ass never watching it again bye yeah well we may have to watch it a little bit no we don't have to watch it we don't have to watch it at all okay so we're not gonna watch it again no we're going into our like fourth hour today fuck this show so there's only one thing that's worse than tardy for the party i mean or don't be tardy i should say which by the way is the stupidest name for a show. Don't Be Tardy. I mean, I know it's from the song, but if you really think about it, it makes no sense.

Don't Be Tardy. It makes no sense almost as much or almost as little as Manzo'd with Children. Manzo'd with Children. Ugh. You got Manzo'd. Let me tell you something. Manzo'd with Children makes Tardy for the party or don't be tardy look like a genius show because here's the thing one thing that i liked about don't be tardy this

this episode was that it didn't feel actually as set up as previous episodes i've seen i'm sure it was totally but it just didn't feel that way man's literally just kim sitting there with drool coming down her face talking about clothes or like what made she likes the best i mean it was not set up it was just kim being kim a fucking idiot yeah but man's out with children it's blatantly obvious that every single person on this show is playing it up for the cameras it's like the world's worst home video you know people who are like oh, they like our shtick so let's do our shtick times ten.

Awful. Awful. This show needs to be called The Family Nobody Wants to Get Stuck Camping Next To in a Parking Lot in Malibu. Yeah. I'll never forget that. My main thoughts about this show are

wow, Albie is officially Chris now when they showed Albie I thought wow Chris has lost weight that's a dick thing to say and I'm not even making fat jokes he's just aging so bizarrely that he looks like a

semi deflated Chris it's weird right yeah and also I have to say Caroline Manzo in the beginning back in the beginning of real house house in new jersey she was like the mom everyone liked she was the she was the no nonsense i i still like caroline i really do but i think her credibility as someone who has good insight into rearing children, is rapidly declining or disappearing. Because while her kids are all, they seem like good kids.

Like, they're nice. They treat people well. I mean, they do this trick. It's annoying. Except for Lauren. Lauren is a piece of work. But they're doing nothing with their lives. She has three kids.

They're doing absolutely nothing. Listen, they own 10% of the businesses that their parents paid for. How dare you? That's true. And cafes is kind of a major thing in Northern New Jersey. Strip malls have never been the same.

You can get a scrunchie, a manicure, and egg salad. How dare I? How dare I sully Lauren's legacy? Lauren is doing huge things for the egg salad industry but those two guys i mean it's one failure after the next first it's first is blackwater then it's little little well blackwater is not a failure that's actually sold in stores i know i'm actually shocked about that but either way but they're not you know they're not associated with the brand anymore i don't think i don't think so i think that whoever is uh is none of them because chris and jackie are

probably the next ones to be in big trouble with their yeah with all of their shady legal shit which yeah i think and you know now now albie is uh doing something with like some spray that works well on cannabis is you know the truth is you know albie's living at home christopher now has his own place lauren lives at home veto lives there it just it just seems like a really pathetic so generation i'm not even trying to make a stupid joke i'm literally curious or i'm genuinely curious um i'm just saying literally because we're talking bravo is chris gay now or what like what's the deal is he official because is he living with that dude because that dude kind of

was gayish no that's just okay i want to know i want to know the truth because he's like the cutest barney rubble gay ever i hope he's gay i don't think so i think that dude is um the roommate that's just like that jersey metrosexual thing. I mean, look at Jersey Shore, look at the situation or whatever. Well, those guys probably can suck a dick. I mean, let's be honest. Those Jersey Shore boys can all probably lay some pipe. Exactly. But, you know, I love how Albie keeps saying that he is an entrepreneur,

by the way, when he has not done anything that has done – I mean, I know I just sort of said this, but, like, Blackwater, I guess, has some marginal success. done anything that has done i mean i know i just sort of said this but like blackwater i guess has some marginal success but when when at what point can you call yourself an entrepreneur like if i if i just try to sell anything if i sell a piece of wood on the side of the street that doesn't make me an entrepreneur like yes it does of course it does it's your you own a business i mean look it's easier to say i'm an entrepreneur than i'm somebody who lives at home and takes as much money as possible for my parents to rent out office spaces so i don't have to

fucking smell my sister's egg salad every morning yeah like that's really long to say every time someone meets you so entrepreneurs better easier i'm a law school slash police academy slash applebee's owner dropout it's easier than saying that yeah hot fried macaroni and cheese ball frying also does albie have any friends by the way i don't i don't know i mean i would have to pay more attention to this show to know because every time i looked up because of course i was like actually doing work during this one and every time i looked up i was like why like who what's the target audience for this show is it just like families who fart is it like families who like have fart contests like who's watching this shit i literally think the only reason why it's on tv is to remind people of the new jersey brand since the next

season of jersey won't be for a little while. I think Bravo's like, we need to put something to keep Jersey in people's minds. That's the only, because it is so dumb watching the show. And then the big conflict of the episode is that Christopher and Albie are not living together and Caroline thinks something is wrong. And so Caroline's like, hey, Albie,

talk to your brother. Talk to your brother. And Albie's like, well, nothing's wrong with me and my brother, but my mom's talking about it so much that I kind of feel like maybe there is something wrong. And Caroline's like, I don't want them to fight. I don't want them to have separation. You know, I went through with Dina. I don't want to happen. I don't want to happen to them.

So then Albie and Christopher get together. And Albie's like, yo, do we have a problem? And Christopher's like, no. And Albie's like, oh, because mom was making it sound like we had a problem. And Christopher's like, no, we don't. And it's like, oh, yeah, cool. Mom's just like being crazy. And that the show yeah the end yeah caroline's like i won't stand for this in my house i won't stand for it you can't talk like shut up droopy i've

had enough of you shut up get off my tv and then like veto is living with lauren but they're not allowed to have sex in the house. And she's like, Vito. And he's like, well, we don't have sex, at least when they're home. And she's like, Vito, I can't believe you said that. Listen, why don't you guys have an apartment? I don't get it. I don't get these people.

I don't understand it. Yeah, well, guess what? We don't have to. Fuck them. Turn it off. Yeah. Oh, but we did get to see a new Jackie thing. And I always like when I see Jackie. Because, yeah, her new face.

All of Jackie's new parts. Because they had a segment where they talked about Dina. And Caroline's like, well, we talked on the phone and now we're okay. And then Jackie's like, Dina texted me. And so Dina. I was like, thanks, Jackie. Thanks for coming and shedding so much light as usual. I think you just did the girl from Southern Charm.

What was her name again? I was talking like this. I forgot that show's over. But she does do that. I've never had a Caroline or a Jackie impersonation because I hate them both. But Jackie's voice, yeah, she's just always laughing. Unless she's sobbing. I know.

All right. Let's just banish this from our memory. It was terrible. Yeah, let's just be done with it. Two terrible shows. We're just going to do, next week we'll do orange county married to medicine and then this thursday we're gonna talk about real houses in new york city and probably the flipping out season finale so workout in new york city was supposed to premiere supposed to premiere tonight i looked on my bravo list on my dvr

to record it and it was nowhere to be found. And someone said that they found a little thing on some article saying that it got bumped to 2016. But what the hell? What the hell? That's bullshit. Huge bullshit. Well, I hope that all of those people

get fat by then so we can still see the footage now and then compare it. We could do like a where are they now? Now. Yeah. Like while it's happening.

So anyway Thanks everyone for listening It was super fun Remember you can support us on patreon.com And you get access to a bonus episode And we have our Live hangout Tomorrow Wednesday August 18th

At 6pm pacific It's going to be some fun times Very fun times. And then Facebook, facebook.com slash watchworkrappens. And then watchworkrappens.com to follow us, to find our links to our other social media. Or you can just Google. Pretty easy.

Use the Googs, everybody. So that's it. Thanks, everyone. Thanks, Ronnie. And we'll speak to everyone later. Bye. Bye, guys. Bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the Internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger.

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