Watch What Crappens - #2173 RHOSLC: Drag Her!

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

This week on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (S04E04), a simple drag makeup competition devolves into pure chaos, starting with Lisa Barlow’s glam squad and ending with Angie calling ...Meredith a trampoline with eyes.Watch this episode with Crappens on Demand here:  http://bit.ly/crappensvideoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the hilarious Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on brappa we love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the hilarious and glorious Mr. Ronnie Carol. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hello Ben, how are you? I am great. We're talking real housewives of Salt Lake City today, another bonkers off the rails episode. So deeply funny.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Maybe this will be the episode that brings in some drag race viewers because I'm always surprised by how many times I talk to people who are really into repulsed drag race. And I say, oh, I watched like the real housewives who watch them. I often make a joke saying, I watch the original drag queens, the real housewives,
Starting point is 00:01:04 and they go, oh yeah, no, I don't watch that. So I've noticed a lot of people say that there's not actually as much crossover between the shows as I would have thought, at least to my own empirical evidence. And so I'm hoping, I should say anecdotal evidence, I'm hoping that this episode of Salt Lake City brings the RuPaul viewers in because gosh, this was a funny episode and it's been such a funny season. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Well, we are on video today, okay?
Starting point is 00:01:36 So you can join us on Crappens on Demand, on our Patreon, that's also where you get our bonus episodes and this week is Dwell, hello, on Wonder RePlus, that's our House Hunters and House Hunters International Recap Show. That's every other week without ads on Wondering Plus, of course. And then when we're not doing that,
Starting point is 00:01:53 the alternate weeks, the first and third Monday of every week, we do crappy hour, which is our live show on Instagram live, 5.30 PM Pacific time, and 8.30 PM Eastern time. Okay, join us for that. So here we are still in Palm Springs for real housewives of Salt Lake City. We get another shot of Heather barfing in that van, which is just just what you loved. I personally enjoyed its visceral nature. It felt very John Waters to me. Also, by the way, I hated that too. I loved John Waters.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Did not need, you know, I loved John Waters without, I didn't need all the poop John Waters, okay? There's a really late note for John Waters. I hope somebody's listening flamingos. I've heard about the poop scene and I just decided I don't need to go down that path. Yeah, okay, I won't take you down it. No, no, you can take me, but I'm just saying I don't need to watch it. I Don't need to really live it. So go ahead. What are you gonna say? I interrupted with poop talk. No, I actually interrupted with my commentary. No, I interrupted. No, I interrupted. No, I did. No
Starting point is 00:03:03 Bowls and not respect that there's a child somewhere who has the gold okay. Oh, there. Yeah. By the end, Yeah, now this is like a palpatine levels. Oh, like, uh-oh. There. There is a child who lost his parents and understands the force and his friends with a small green character and you have to respect that. So what I was going to say though is one thing
Starting point is 00:03:46 about the season that's just getting sweeter and sweeter for me is every time they show on the previous leaves Monica saying oh wait and I bought a bag because I just wanted something nice in front of them. That is like really just one of the funniest scenes ever like that little monologue and her crying and doing the voice, like the little misdevois. I mean, that is just, I crack up. I want them to include that every single week on the previous list.
Starting point is 00:04:15 They have so far and they probably will continue to. They'll play that for a long time. They'll play that for a long time. All right, so let's go to morning of day two in Palm Springs at the Trixi Motel. So Meredith sends everyone a text and is like, me and the Paul and don't forget to wear your tinshirt and don't forget to support Tumblr. That's going through a life threatening house.
Starting point is 00:04:39 And then Monica, there's some of them are just like FaceTiming Home. Monica's FaceTiming her daughter. Monica's like an all She's that has like you know face stuff on but her face is basically blue She's like a little smurf right now and she's like oh and candle. I'm just you know candles Celebrity a birthday and her chicken or glass. So she has like dress up in like a costume like her snow white costume Is hanging in the closet next to the bag? That I bought just so I could feel now.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I think this is so unfair of teachers to do. They're like, oh, guess what? Guys, we're having brownies Friday. Guess what? That kid's not gonna make fucking brownies. Do you know who you're asking to make brownies? The legal guardian of that child, okay? That is not fair.
Starting point is 00:05:22 And you know who you're making where a snow white costume for her birthday? You're making the mom go to fucking target and find a costume off season to make this brat wear to school. How about you make the kid do something for themselves, okay? How about kid dress yourself for fucking school for once, leave your mother alone. How about where's that day? Yeah, good. That's yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like,
Starting point is 00:05:49 I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like,
Starting point is 00:05:57 I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm just gonna like, I'm She's like, oh, can we are for breakfast? I'm full of my fling-out singing.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Why am I not, Holly? So then Whitney's texting Heather, are you alive? And Heather's like, look, you can rally. And but meanwhile, it's turned to thunder outside. She literally does puke, by the way. We get to hear Heather puke and fleshing the toilet. So thanks, so thanks. Thanks for having us. I'm sure Heather's loving all of this
Starting point is 00:06:26 Ronnie really does not like this role liquid bodily liquid gross. I don't want to watch that Yeah, I'm oddly enough okay with it. It is gross, but I'm okay with it. So Now Angie is at the front desk and she's like excuse me Gay person. May I borrow a Sharpie? I have a t-shirt here and I would love to draw something on it. I'm starting my own club, Opa, Opa. And then we see that the clip of Meredith giving them all t-shirts that says, no, Tracks,
Starting point is 00:06:59 all trust. And so she is making her own shirt that's going to have something snotty on it. And the guy who's working the counter, David, the hotel manager is like, Oh my God, that's so sad. You're making your own shirt. Wow. So then Whitney text, Trixi, Mattel, people want to say Trixi Monaco. Trixi Monaco was invented independently of Trixie Mattel. And she's like, hey, Trixie, I want to get the girls in drag tonight.
Starting point is 00:07:30 You up, I mean you down. Uh-huh. Okay, starting over. Hey, Trixie. Oh, wait, I typed that part too. Oh no, I typed the part about typing that part too. Trixing. So Meredith and Lisa are talking, I guess. Whitney and Lisa are talking, I guess, with the
Starting point is 00:07:46 Emily are talking, sorry. And Lisa's like, oh my God, you have to fear how I have to do my hair to how. So how do you feel about last night? Let's add, I know that I think like I'm going to super hot, but I'm like, okay, is this crazy? It's murder fact and crazy. And when he's like that thing that is irritating me, is it Meredith does her thing murder fact in crazy. And when he's like that thing that is irritating me, is it Meredith? Does her thing that she does, where she's like manipulating the situation?
Starting point is 00:08:11 And it's like, wait, no. If you confront me, something bad is happening to me. Hey. And then we see a clip of Meredith being like, you are an ugly human being. And Angie saying, you are, you should look yourself in the mirror dictionary. If you look up in the mirror, well ugly means you'll see a picture of you in the dictionary mirror. It's like you can say whatever you want to
Starting point is 00:08:40 someone, but the minute they try to defend themselves or respond, you're going to bring in or reach for anything. And her friends grandson or something, she brought up some three-year-old. I was like, well, yeah, she'll reach for anything. I mean, listen, this is also coming from someone who spent all of last season where any time something captures, wait, this reminds me of something I think I forgot about. You can't do that to me. Well, yeah, Meredith really does do that though. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:09:12 She is, my mom's similar. Where you're like, hey, mom, that really hurt my feelings that you just said. She'll be, oh really? Well, get in line. Guess what I went through. Do you know what my mother did to me when I was in like, oh my god, okay, I'll never complain again, sorry. That's true. Senator has been doing that for a while.
Starting point is 00:09:31 Like I think every season she's done that. So Lisa's like, well, I'm working towards like moving far off, but like it doesn't mean I'm oblivious to the fact that everything gets wopped assed, which will be the first to ups two times that wopped eyes gets used to this episode. And up to two times that weaponized gets used this episode. And I also don't wanna be in the middle, so I'm just gonna go find my glam.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Morgan, Morgan, get me outta here, thank you. Hmm, and Whitney's like, well, I saw you go off with her last night when she got upset, that's a really big doll. And Lisa's like, yeah, because she was like, I know something about their family. And I was like, oh my God, not this again. You know, because like after last year,
Starting point is 00:10:10 and how yucky that felt, it was like a Coke zero. You know, I mean, I've never felt so out of place. And Whitney's like, this and if today isn't fun, I'm gonna fully take over, just kidding, I've already taken over.
Starting point is 00:10:22 I'm like texting Trixie behind everybody's back. What does that mean you're going to fill you take over you're going to fill Delphi? No I'm going to fill you take over today. A cream cheese fill it fill it. So Monica's in Meredith's room and she can't be feeling for me. Monley, you know, and she said, how are you feeling to me? Monika's for me was, I'm tons. I did want to thank you. You were very kind to me and not everyone. Monika's doing a little girl voice.
Starting point is 00:10:55 I'm talking to a little person. By the way, my name is Meredith Mars. Nice to meet you. Yeah, we've met like five times already. Oh, okay. So Monica's like, you were like bombarded and like even though like Angie's like my friend and like that was completely uncalled for it and like really tacky Honestly, and like it was like embarrassing And then we see Angie talking to Monica last night and Angie's like, I know I came in hot, but you know me, I was introduced to these ladies
Starting point is 00:11:28 and when you didn't stand up for me, I was like, okay, Monica, I was hurt, Monica, I am Greek. Who's side are you on? Greek or Opa? And Monica's like, yeah, but I mean, I'm a shock that you would even go there. It's like, there's been so much unexplainable behavior from her like I don't even go. Yeah, and she's like,
Starting point is 00:11:48 it's hard to find myself in this position because like Andy is like my friend, but like I'm seeing so much weird, unexplainable behavior girl from this trip that like I haven't even seen before. So Heather's parking still gets some more more barfing sounds for anybody who needs that in their life And then people start gathering outside by the pool and Heather comes out twirling
Starting point is 00:12:10 I need you to come out with some orbits. That's what I need you to come out with. I need you to come out holding orbits Very high showing everybody look I'm chewing orbit. If I've been listening to you barf for an entire night That's all I need. I need reassurance. Okay, get your little orbits crushed out of warrant. You're not getting on the bus with me. Yeah, so Lisa's like, hey, Mara, you're right. I'd be athletic and Mary's like, it's running. I swear to this like, hi everyone. Yeah, what's going on? And Hi everyone, yeah, what's going on? And basically, Heather's like, I would like to apologize for vomiting on your leg. And he's like, it was a sea to sight.
Starting point is 00:12:55 I mean, it was a sight to sight. I mean, it was a sight to line. You know, that was one of the gross moments of my life. And I lived through the chocolate sex scene that got Justin fired. Wow, all right, we're going to follow a man Clive who's going to lead us through Trance Nexor. Why? So someone is everybody thinkin' And I can already tell this is not, this is not gonna go well. And I can also already tell that Mary will not participate in this. So then Angie shows up, speaking of trust exercises, Angie shows up with her homemade t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:13:35 And because everyone else is sure it's saying, no tricks, all trust, her says, all tricks, no trust, and a little bit of yawt, word of the day. I love that she puts no in humongous caps. Like we get an Angie, okay. She actually did, her no is so big that like the trust actually kind of trails off to the side. And so you're like no truck, what?
Starting point is 00:13:58 No true, true, no truth, no what? And then it says, by Angie K, it's on the back of my shirt, everybody. Look then it says by Angie K. It's on the back of my shirt, everybody. Look, it says by Angie K. The minute edition. Limited edition. She tries another line reading. I just love that the producers on this show
Starting point is 00:14:16 won't give her another shot. It's so fun. They're like, no, we're doing it all in one take. It's a reality show. She's like, but wait a minute. You didn't hold the cue card correctly. So she tells us. She's like, look, Meredith wants to be petty. I can be petty too. It was either this or call a hit on her fat family.
Starting point is 00:14:34 I decided to go with the shirt. By the way, I know she's not sincerely suggesting that she's going to call out a hit on Meredith's family, but when you're saying, I can be petty too, I'd see they're make a t-shirt or call out a hit on a family. I don't think that calling out a hit on someone's family is petty. I think that's actually, that's actually
Starting point is 00:14:55 you've graduated to criminal. That's like, I'm like, okay, make a t-shirt or like, I don't know, like take her water bottle. That feels more in the petty range there, I don't know. Yeah, take her phone. Take her phone to bed. So that sounds like another fun conversation. So they all load up into the van to go
Starting point is 00:15:17 and just this poor bus driver calling. Is there no one else in Palm Springs you guys can call? Can we give calling a break? Calling just had to deal with the van, marinated, and Heather Barth. Okay, give Colleen a break. Yeah, please. Also Colleen is an actor.
Starting point is 00:15:33 She's probably very upset in taking this job because the plaza theater in Palm Springs closed down which we all know about, because I've talked about it and I want it. I want to buy it. But we can also tell she's an actor because she's wearing character shoes, and I want it. I want to buy it. But we can also tell she's an actor because she's wearing character shoes, like actor character shoes, and I died.
Starting point is 00:15:51 I was like, what are actors for a tin type after this? Like, what happened? Wait, what are actor character shoes? So when you do musicals, you buy character shoes and women buy, they're basically really thick, healed black shoes that you can wear in any scene. It's like you can wear them as a poor lady. They work for like being a poor lady downtown
Starting point is 00:16:12 or they work for a ball scene, you know? I feel like we'll be talking about these shoes when we do our dwell hello episode later today. That lady? Snake premium preview everyone. That lady from How Fun Thurs is an act she's like, I'm in the theater community.
Starting point is 00:16:33 And she is an owner of character heels, like in guarantee. Definitely is. Okay, so they get in the van with the character heels and they are going to be going to an obstacle course and Mary's like She's like no, I'm not gonna do this. She's like I can't I can't be standing in the park in the rain I'm not I'm not a soccer mom anymore. Okay. I'm a hard no, okay. I know exactly who to trust I know exactly who not to trust I don't need a game to tell me any of that
Starting point is 00:17:02 Mary is so like I don't need a game to tell me any of that. Mary is so like this generation of employee, I feel like to just sell from, so I'm like, okay, here's what you're supposed to do. She's like, no. Yeah, I, well, this is what the job is. No. I am really enjoying Mary's cranky nature.
Starting point is 00:17:25 I enjoy that she does not participate in anything. That's the sort of thing. People are dying to be at the trust exercises. I mean, Angie Harrington's waiting by the phone and hoping that she gets to call it for a third season. And she's just there. She's like, I don't want to do this. And I think they've just given up on even trying to convince her.
Starting point is 00:17:43 I think they've realized the appeal is watching Mary reject every activity that comes her way. It's so funny. And I think that she has silent quit. You know what that is? You put your job, but you don't tell anybody. Mary came back only to silent quit. And I think it's great. She came back for the free McDonald's, such a...
Starting point is 00:18:04 Yeah. I think that's great. She came back for the free McDonald's, such a... Yeah, I think that's really all it is, but like I, like, okay, I know she's got checkered past blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I just love the idea of a cranky cast member. I like that she's in this really specific niche that we're not seeing on any other show that she just doesn't like anyone around her,
Starting point is 00:18:22 doesn't like anything that she's doing, doesn't like really anything that she's part of, and yet she came back to be unhappy. It's great. Yeah. Yeah, so she's like, I don't need someone to tell me how to build a stronger bond, but I mean, I already have a relationship with my,
Starting point is 00:18:39 the one, the higher help, that one, not these women. Nope, nope. So they arrive at empowering adventures incorporated where Cliff, just I, yes for me. Your side feels like it has more to say. No, that was it. My eyes, I just saw like the back of my brain. I guess it would be the front of my brain.
Starting point is 00:19:04 My eyes rolled back so far. I can't empower him. Come on Cliff, give me a fucking break. And how many people in Palm Springs are like, you know what, we need to feel empowering and uplifted. Let's go outside and 120 degree sun on a golf course to do exercises together while some queen barks at us. No.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Well, first of all, it was rainy. It was rainy, so that I think made it easier. But he was there. He's like, OK, we're going to do some foundational trust activities. I was sort of intrigued to see what he was going to offer. So first, he pulls out this, it's a red, an yellow, and a green ball that are all attached together.
Starting point is 00:19:41 And what I thought was going to be some sort of interesting Iyan Levenzant, very literal group sort of like interesting Iyanla vanzant, very literal group therapy thing, you know, because Iyanla vanzant, I will always remember the time where she was like, you have a lot of baggage. So today, we're going to unload your baggage and like the lady that she was helping had to like stand with like piles of baggage
Starting point is 00:20:01 and carry them across the driveway and unload them on the other side of the driveway. I was like, you have now released your baggage. I was like, that is literally not addressing anything. You just made someone carry some to me across this asphalt. But I was kind of hoping to see what he was going to do with this thing, but it was literally just a red yellow and green ball that looked like spigly like a traffic light. I mean, at that point just get a toy traffic light. And it's like, what's one thing you want to stop? One thing you have one have caution with and one thing you want to go forward with. Right, I think it's a baby toy, right?
Starting point is 00:20:30 Not really sure. I think that's... Bums brings it could have been all sorts. It could have been really anything. And, you know... It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapance commercial. Watch what crapens and winter is crappening of a funniest recap podcast.
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Starting point is 00:21:35 Listen everywhere on October 23rd, or you can binge early and at free on Wondery Plus the same day. So, he's like, okay, so let's all say one thing we'd stop, one thing we'd go, one thing we'd slow, or whatever. So Lisa's like, okay, Brad Bob, Brad Bob. Okay, here's what I think we need to stop in this grow. And that is talking about people's personal business.
Starting point is 00:21:59 Can I stop another thing, which is making me ever dress and costume again? Okay, maybe I should have said that today. That's future me coming back to tell President me that's what I should have packed. But you know what? That's what I picked for right now. We shouldn't talk about other people's basements. Also, another thing we should stop doing is forgetting that I lost my $60,000
Starting point is 00:22:19 in the bathroom. I just don't want anyone to ever stop thinking about that. Okay. Yeah. Retroactive stop on that one too. So then Heather's thing is slowing down, I guess. She's like, you know what? I think we should slow down on is I think that we should slow down on being receptive
Starting point is 00:22:36 and being less competitive and a conversation. How about that for a yellow light? Yeah, which was basically her way of addressing the fact that last night when she was expressing dissatisfaction with Angie. And she was like, well, how about me? What about me? Why don't you think about how I am feeling right now? So she's basically like, no, I'm allowed to complain, but you're not allowed to complain when I complain. So the coach is like Meredith, what's green? I I think I would give a green light to trading each other with kindness and respect. Especially if you see a toddler who's in pain,
Starting point is 00:23:11 treat it with kindness and respect. Don't start fighting with some lady about other things when there was a toddler in the road that's very important. We need to be giving more binky some more tired. There's a focus on what's most important in this world. I mean, it's so funny because it's not only that Meredith does the thing of bringing up her own problems, whenever she's confronted by something, but it's literally repeating the toddler storyline that gets me.
Starting point is 00:23:38 It's like, okay, well, I've gone from you abusing Brooksie, my little baby toddler, to some random toddler that nobody even knows he has. He can't argue that it's not really a toddler. There's something going on with a child in her life, which is admittedly that is serious and it is sad, but like, but there is some murky backstory about a child and I'm looking forward to clarification on that. So then Cliff is like, okay, well guess what? I put a bunch of junk in the park, and one of you is gonna be blindfolded,
Starting point is 00:24:09 and the other has to lead the other through the junk, and you have to not touch the junk, because I'm gonna call it a minefield. So don't walk through the minefield, if you get to the other side, if you can avoid some pieces of plastic in the grass, then you've bonded, and your problems are solved. You know. So then we see Meredith saying, okay, well, you, I will write you a check for your
Starting point is 00:24:32 hour if you think of a some important Angie. And Angie, what are you gonna write me a check for your jewelry that has cobwebs and dust all over it? I'm gonna guess, she's gonna write you a check for her own jewelry, Angie. Yeah, fucking knitwit, okay. So then the coach is like, okay, this was the minefield, okay. Think of mines. There are things we don't wanna step on, guys.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Okay, let's play the minefield game. Can we not play the minefield? War is raging all over the world, sir. Can we not play the mind-field? War is raging all over the world, sir. Can we not play the mind-field in mind? I just know this because I randomly, I randomly did like a deep dive last night. I'm like, I should be going to sleep, but instead I'm reading about Angola on Wikipedia
Starting point is 00:25:15 and I was reading travel advisories to Angola and it is covered in minds. There's minds all over that country, which is terrible. But this is my life. So, so basically they are, they have to go to this minefield which I'm surprised. Like, you know, by the way, if you want people to work together, don't force them through a situation
Starting point is 00:25:33 that involves the word mine, you know. Like I feel like that is just everyone wanting to grab the pieces of plastic and claim them for themselves, literally. Yeah. So then Heather is, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. It's like finding, finding the need of mine, themselves, literally. Yeah. So then Heather is, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. It's like finding, finding need of mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
Starting point is 00:25:51 It's mine. I don't know why I had to rail this thing, go, I apologize to everyone. I don't know what, I just wanted to have some sort of value of the fact that I spent like 45 minutes reading it. It's very cute of you, it's very cute of you to pretend that this show is on any kind of a rail.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Okay. This is not a rail. So, there's like, you know, I don't know about this guy. I don't think he knows what he's doing. I mean, that's just not just some simple fix with this group. We've destroyed marriages, okay. We've destroyed careers.
Starting point is 00:26:19 We've sent one of our friends off to prison. Okay, we're gonna have to overcome quite a lot to have trust be the ultimate reward And this activity. I'm loving this overly positive comedic Heather that's in the confessional sincere So yeah, yeah, she's sort of like one factor her season one season two vibe a little bit so then so meanwhile Angie and Heather are together and Angie's leading Heather blindfolded and then we cut to Mary in the van just sitting there ordering a hot oatmeal latte from like the PA And she's like and with a double shot. I have to have it. I have to have a double shot. I mean That's what she does this entire episode. She sits in vans in order's food. I
Starting point is 00:27:02 Think at her house. She doesn't really have anybody who gets her things. And so she just came back to this show to boss producers around. Because she really is taking such pleasure in just getting simple things. It's like when it's like us, you know, whenever we have a meeting somewhere at an actual office, we're so impressed to be anywhere besides our house. People are like, do you want water? We're like, yes, They have raisins here. What else do you have?
Starting point is 00:27:27 I can't. Would you like coffee? Yes. Creamers sugar? Yes. Yeah. Any snacks? Yes.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Literally every. Take all the free stuff. You know, like all the cool things. Like a bag of creamers. I don't know. We're so impressed. They could say anything. They could just, we could walk into a meeting
Starting point is 00:27:43 and they could be like, you're both pieces of shit with no talent. Or like, yes, we have coffee. We got free coffee. Do whatever you want to us. Give me a power bar. So I'm pretty good. Yes.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Yes. So yeah, and then Mary, by the way, Mary is saying something that I have thought many times. This is the first time I've actually felt connected to Mary because she's sitting and looking at various signs around the park from the open van door. And she goes, that is strange that that sign says, Humps, because usually it says, Bumps.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Why would they say Humps? Because that is in my neighborhood too. All the speed bumps are called Humps. And I feel like they're bumps, not Humps. My lovely lady Humps. I don't know, our Humps bigger than Bumps. Maybe. I guess it's because it's Palm Springs and it's like a gay city. So it's like Hornier. It's for you.
Starting point is 00:28:34 That's for you. Actually, it has an administrative office there. She's in charge of like the roads. Yeah. I feel like let's not talk about Bumps because because bumps are like STDs. Let's talk about Humps because people like to hump and who doesn't like Louise. I love the idea that if you're building construction, you have to get a permit from Fergie and Palm Springs because that would actually make sense. Like, I literally believe like all of the government offices are filled with just like gay icons. Although I don't know if Fergie's a gay icon, but like a gay fascination. She was for a minute.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Yeah, she was, she was like a teller. She was like a teller. It's like Diane Weas' is in charge of zoning. It's like I wanna add a, I wanna add like a garage to my property. Oh, you'll have to see Diane Weas' about that. She has to prove that. There was Diane Weas' have to do with Fergie.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Cause she's a gay icon. But she's a AI con. She's in the tunnel. Diane Weist would be pissed that you're putting her in the same wagon as Fergie. Fergie didn't stay around enough. I feel like Fergie did her black-eyed piece thing, then she had her solo thing, and then she was like, I'm tired now. And then she just stopped. Fergie may just be an intern at the office.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Maybe she just has a... I think she has a lower position. I think Diane Weist is higher. She just stopped. She just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she just, she's like, yeah, you know, why would Heather take us to a park? Why wouldn't she take us like more luxurious than a park? Just like just watching Mary order coffees and bits to herself. Colleen's like, I don't know, ma'am. I am in my character shoes.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Would you like me to talk to you in a ball or would you like me to talk to you a downtown? I love Mary complaining that this this group this group building exercises, not in a more luxurious location when later on she's just ordering like fish filet so So then Whitney is guiding Meredith and she's like, Okay Meredith, we're going through the minefield. Okay, lift your foot like a horse. Now match the other one, you did it. I'm Danny and Rachel. Okay, well this exercise is finished so everyone,
Starting point is 00:31:00 you can win. So Angie and Heather are getting along now because they've done this... Actually, this actually worked for Heather and Angie. And Angie's like, I thought I will never be able to have fun with Heather again because we have had some negative exchanges. But I have had fun with you today, Heather. And Meredith's like, oh, of course that trap crash or guts the most out of it I'm glad she got her money's worth
Starting point is 00:31:32 I don't know, free trap So, um, so then yeah, so then Heather's basically like, well, I hope there's, I can hope there's hope for us as friends and clip as like There's always hope, although I've realized that I hope there's hope for us as friends and Clip was like, there's always hope. Although I've realized that I've reached the limitations of what I can do and I think I'm going to retire now. Thanks, ladies. So they get in the van with Mary and Mary's happy.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Mary had a great time in the van. She was just looking at signs, observing things, having oatmeal latte. Great coffee. Yeah, she had a great, that was her, she, she, she teem built with herself. So Angie is like, she had a great, that was her, she, she team built with herself. So Angie is like, she's like, well, so I'm glad you had fun, Mary.
Starting point is 00:32:10 You know, she said she likes her alone time. So all these bricks are probably good, right? And Mary's like, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna show like Mary having a alone time, montage. Which is amazing to hang out with anybody or talk to anybody. So Mary is like, well, Mary, I wish you would participate in ghost TV with the male building trust with the young child.
Starting point is 00:32:34 And Mary is like, but did I not explain it to you before? Why I'm not going? Did I not explain that? She's, well, I mean, yeah, I was one. Do not interrupt. That was, yeah, I'm not, I was one. Do not interrupt. I'm at least, like, yeah, but that was one thing, though. But that was one thing, that was one thing, Mary. That was one thing, Mary.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Mary, Mary. Don't interrupt. Do not interrupt. Do not interrupt. This is not between you and me. This is between me and Meredith. So, did I, did I hurt you? Did I hurt you, Meredith?
Starting point is 00:32:59 No. I'm not talking to you. Like, I'm not talking to you. Do, I'm not talking to you. Do you have a mute button, Lisa? No. You need to get a mute button. I'm on play all the time. I'm like, time, I'm on play all the time.
Starting point is 00:33:13 My ring, my ring, ah! So Mary's like, you know, I'd like to choose activities I'm ready to go on with that group. So that was just, I mean, it's just too soon for me. What are you waiting for? You're not dating for Christ's sake. Yeah, she's like, she just hates everyone. So it means like, why even get on the van sprinter? Huh?
Starting point is 00:33:34 I mean, sprinter van, if you don't want to participate, you don't like us, you don't want anything to do with us. I feel like you are not real. Okay, why get on? So then Lisa's like, I wish you could be real. Yeah, Lisa's like, so this grip, this grip you don't want to participate with a grip is what you're saying. Just no, not everywhere. Okay, we'll be scooting dead, not ready. We're excluding. Not ready. It's like, it's not about
Starting point is 00:34:01 that. Um, I still have never remorse that I did miss this. And when he goes, but the point is, we wanted you as our team. Which is by the way, no, you did not want her on the team. You just were mad that she got to sit out. Yeah. I'm very sorry. Oh, we get the point, Missy, okay? But I wasn't there.
Starting point is 00:34:18 So let's, you know what? Just let it go. She's, but I got told that she told Meredith that she didn't want to do it because of her hip But then she told me that something else happened, but then she told somebody else about something else I don't know why you can't comprehend that I love missy god. I love Marry's basically a scold and I love it. I just love the way she's scolds little girl, Missy. But then why?
Starting point is 00:34:50 Oh, sorry, Ben, it did not mean. I thought the period would be after Missy. No, the period was just after little girl, so it's fine. Why would you come on a girl's trip with people you don't wanna be with? And Meredith is like, guys, we can continue this discussion about how Mary doesn't like anybody lean. Let's go have a very special lunch at the Trincy Mountain.
Starting point is 00:35:13 We have a very special lunch set up where we're in a little sit in a lobby and eat food off of our laps. So come on in. So they go in and there's a charcuterie spread. And Lisa's like, oh, Heather, are there dates on the charcuterie plot? And Heather's like, yeah, it's so interesting that you like dates. I love that.
Starting point is 00:35:34 I love that. I love that. I love that they're surprised that Lisa enjoys something that's not synthetic. They're like, really? It's like not a French fry, nor is it a chalupa. Yeah, exactly. And then they have this date conversation, where Heather's like,
Starting point is 00:35:50 you know, I'm not really a date person. And I love the music people. We're like, you know what, we need some date music. No, no, no, no, not romantic date, the fruit, the dried out fruit. Can we just get that? And I'm like, the dried out fruit. Can we just get that? Oh, all right.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Broom. Broom. Broom. Broom. Broom. Perfect, a date, oh bow. Thank you. I know, Paul's like, finally, finally, my date compositions,
Starting point is 00:36:18 finally getting some love. I knew when I wrote it seven years ago, that someone found a nice fit, and here it is. Just wait long enough things to become hits. Okay, I'm going to take over. We're going to have fun tonight. Trixi is going, ladies, I have an announcement. Trixi is going to come back and hang out with all of us.
Starting point is 00:36:41 And then by the way, when he said, we're going to have some fun tonight and then cut to Meredith and was like, oh, it's because the implication was that we haven't had fun yet. Wow. I found we had a lot of fun picking up binkies on the side of the world so we could clean them and give them the toddlers we find,
Starting point is 00:36:56 but apparently not. I thought we just had a transfer science or was on the back and we had a connection with me, but apparently somebody didn't listen to me. So red light on the windman. Yeah. Okay, everyone, take off your hats and take off your makeup
Starting point is 00:37:15 and like get into white robes because we're gonna drag our makeup. I mean, we're doing makeup of dragging. So basically, it's gonna be a drag makeup competition where Trixi will be the judge. And at first you're thinking, okay, it'll be like a silly activity that we watch, but it really becomes a cornerstone of major drama
Starting point is 00:37:42 for the rest of the episode because that's this show, you know? And also, I don't think Whitney did it, right? I don't, I mean, listen, Whitney sucks at her lines and I think that she missed her line. I think she was supposed to say, guys, we're gonna do a tricksy, like whoever's the best tricksy competition, right? Because they all come out dressed like tricksy.
Starting point is 00:38:02 So I think the whole point is there supposed to be like the best version of trixie? And that might have helped. Because some of the people are like, drank, unkung, here's my drag, nothing. This is what I look like when I take a drag off a cigarette. So this is what I would like like if I were a beautiful woman,
Starting point is 00:38:22 dress like a beautiful woman. I'm a woman dressed like a man, dressed like a woman right now, and it turns out that that's just me. So Whitney says, I'm taking over because I'm bored. And honestly, I don't know if Marath even realizes what we have in our fingertips right now. Dates! Yeah, no. Metaphorical fingertips.
Starting point is 00:38:44 We have the opportunity to get in drag with Trixi. Are you kidding me? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Wait a minute. So what you're saying is we have to take off our makeup. Yes, get rid of glam. So what your thing is we have to get rid of Clam. So what your thing is, we have to get rid of Clam. Yeah, and also take off your makeup. So what you're saying is we have to take off our makeup. Oh my God, could you please send these to back? Just send them back.
Starting point is 00:39:15 This is hilarious because to say, because Heather goes cancel the glam squats, I'm like, oh wow, like this would not fly on certain cast. Like Lisa, Lisa definitely makes a scene, but the truth was if this was on Beverly Hills, it would be, there would literally be like, like mass exodus, like the show, the season would be over. Well, thankfully we have Mass Barlox. Sidious. Because that's all we need. At least it's like,
Starting point is 00:39:45 Batman, I have to go out and know. And I think no, no glam squats. Yeah, but you know what? Don't want to think I like control over. Well, besides John, uh, is how I look, okay? You know what, that's just, I have no control over anything.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Okay, bye. Bye everybody. I'm gonna go cut, cut, cut. John, answer the phone. Oh my god, thank you for answering and made me feel back in control at least for a second John and She's like I'm a little annoyed because like just when I was like eating a date like my favorite food ever Whitney just like made an announcement and she's like in the next 30 minutes like come with a clean voice and like Consular Glam and I'm like what what? I flew Morgan here. Morgan!
Starting point is 00:40:25 I'm ya! And like, you know how I hate this like theme. So I hate themes. Oh my god. I have Morgan here. How can I pay for Morgan and not use her? And John's like, it's only for one more night and boys
Starting point is 00:40:36 so don't worry about it. Unfortunately, you're gonna be back tomorrow. Who made a minute to Whitney Nakeda Mama? I'm never dressing up again. I spend on average sexy, granteed, year Whitney knock at the memo? I'm never dressing up again. I spend on average sexy, granteed, year-on-glam. I get by makeup than daily. Okay, look at the space. I have a makeup artist on retainer and inner retainer, by the way, because she had a
Starting point is 00:40:55 shad in under bite. Now it's like you know what? You need a retainer. And so, it's not just that I'm going on girl's shops, it's when I'm going to the grocery store. Okay? I need to have Morgan. You don't touch the Morgan glam squads.
Starting point is 00:41:08 So then the women, so now everyone's like taking their makeup off, but now Lisa's having a meltdown. And so she's telling the producer, she just slowly starts going crazier and crazier. And then it's not slowly anymore. It's just a rush of crazy. Yeah, well, cause once the producer's checking on her,
Starting point is 00:41:24 now she's like, she's like, okay, I've got to, I've got to up this to get what I want with the producers. So producer Will comes in and she's like, I love his name, producer Will, because he totally won't. And that's such a perfect name for producer Will, because he's like, no, I won't. The whole time. But says it in a nice way. I am so over this, like, I'm a good sport for the most part, but I'm like over this like I just like I was like Okay, I'm not gonna deal with this. Hey Laurie. Can we have you in Lisa's room Laurie? Yeah, come on in Because I'm producer won't so I won't deal with this right now. Thanks Laurie
Starting point is 00:42:00 Meanwhile Lisa is texting Meredith. Merda come to my room, Meredith. So now Lori and Meredith both come to the room. Meanwhile, Trixie is like telling David, get drinks. He's like, get these ladies drinks because they're gonna be nervous or not. You should drink glam and they need some liquid courage. So then we go back to Lisa and Lisa's like, look, I think Trixie's amazing. This is nothing to do with Trixie.
Starting point is 00:42:24 I just like, I literally went out with the bathing suit and it's about last night. I was like, chicken, chicken, chicken, you know, and listen, I'm not. Goodest day that I, with the shitty eating glam when I beat Morgan, 2500 to be here, plus her glam, plus her retainer. I mean, the girl can't even eat jelly beans.
Starting point is 00:42:40 Look, I'm not doing it. I'm not, I'm not. We're all like we up in a window. Oh! Oh! Oh! It's not about looking ugly. Look, I'm not doing it. I'm not. I'm not. Wait, hold on, I can't look a certain way when a mountain butt like it's my face, it's my face. This is amazing. And so by the way, I think that like, one of the things fueling this is the fact that like, I think famously, a lot of the real housewives
Starting point is 00:43:20 are not as wealthy as they seem and they plunge themselves into debt for the show to have like to appear very glamorous. So if you're spending $2,500 and buying an ticket for someone, I mean, in general, you don't want to waste that money, but especially if you're a real housewife, you're like, I just put it this on my credit card that I'm already massively in debt for.
Starting point is 00:43:39 I, if I bought this, I'm using it. I don't care. But I'm like, why not just have Morgan do your drag makeup for you? Yeah, exactly. You do it like on Beverly Hills that you mentioned when they had that party. It was like 70s disco or whatever.
Starting point is 00:43:54 They probably all didn't want to dress that way, but they all use their clams. Why did you just create that look? You know? Of course, she did end up using that person and they did a terrible job anyway So Monica is in the next room over and she's like she's getting so mad at Lisa on this trip And she's like girl I can like literally hear Lisa and like they're losing her shit in the next room over
Starting point is 00:44:16 And there's like a big part of me that's like girl Now like Lisa is like ever Ruka from like Charlie and Jack talk the factory like I didn want to go. I don't want to buy his bed. You know what I'm saying? So the producer Lori. I love Lori the producer. Okay. Lori is talking to Lisa like she's just a gigantic five-year-old and you can tell that Lori's had to see this a lot It's like guys bring in the big guns Lori put on your character shoes and Lori's like all right Lori is actually the van driver in disguise. Lori is calling. She just like plays all the roles that she needs to play to keep the show moving along. The mask comes off. So Lori, I character shoes and like a roll of blue tape in her pocket, just in case she needs it. But you're right.
Starting point is 00:45:05 So I was impressed, Loric, because I think that the real skill set you need to have when you're an executive producer of one of these shows is you have to be able to manage egos and then also get them to do what you want. And watching her in action was, I thought, pretty excellent. Yeah, so, Loric is like, um, Lisa, okay, it's okay, Lisa. Everything's okay. And Lisa's like, no, I mean, grab. It's my fucking face. We're gonna figure this out, okay?
Starting point is 00:45:33 Don't worry about it. No, it's bothering me. You know, I don't like this shit, Meredith. I don't like it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Lisa, stop, stop. Here's a binky I found on the sidewalk putting your mouth So now Whitney goes to Taddle Tailed to Trixie and Trixie's like oh my god look at us. We both have no makeup on
Starting point is 00:45:54 Which is funny and Whitney's like yeah, well Lisa through a commission fat because she had to cancel her clam like she started crying She's upset Trixie goes how's she seen me without makeup? Trixie is so funny. I feel like everyone who watches Rack Race was like, yeah, Ben, hello. So Lisa is like, Lisa is like, she's like, I have glam and Monaco.
Starting point is 00:46:21 I have glam and Santa Pay. I have glam everywhere I go. and I like to look a certain way when I'm out in public, it's my fucking... how many times can she say it's my face? But I love I have glam and Monaco and I have glam in set and... in the same sentence she goes, I'm asking you to relate to me for a minute, Laurie. Oh, okay. I don't even think of it. You're asking the lady with a blue tape in her pocket and character shoes dressed all in black to relate to you having glam and monica and glam and centerpiece. So Lori's like, but I do relate to you, Lisa. I listen, I relate to you guys all the time.
Starting point is 00:47:00 I'm just asking that you put this in perspective. Wait, me? I think it's's gonna be fine So what would make you feel good about tonight? Lisa what do you need? Laurie First of all, I want some dates because I love that it's those are really good also. I want more than okay. I just want my glamp I need more than I need more than I need my glam
Starting point is 00:47:19 So she's like you know what I'm a team player, so I'm gonna participate in the script I'm not about it doesn't man. I'm not gonna have my glamour's that bad. So... Hey, man, Morgan! And I'd love, uh, with this cast that Bravo doesn't care about just like exposing their tantrums, because you know, all of these cast have these tantrums all the time. At least it's the only one that they just decided to like, hang out to drag. So they know it's Salt Lake City, they're like, we can do this. Like Beverly Hills, we can do this to Kyle Richards, it's not going to go well. They have no power on this show. I mean,
Starting point is 00:47:51 they've just shown, they've had cameras in front of Heather's face while she's barfing and peeing all over the floor. And we'll not stop making it a running thing. Like, this cast has zero power. I feel like maybe one of the reasons why this show is so good is the producers are making like producers are witnessing all this ridiculous stuff and they just want to put on a show that makes them laugh and then they want to tell us hey guys look at this look at this stuff look at this shit we just we just shot you know and I think that like well that's why this is just it just works so well because the producers are entertaining themselves first, okay? Come on, let's go. Here comes one right now. So, um, so,
Starting point is 00:48:29 save yourself before you save the toddler next to you. It's like an airplane. Yeah, seriously, humiliate your cast before you humiliate the cast next to you. So, Trixie is like, so she's like crying, like, make up so it's supposed to be fun. There's no crying in makeup. So then Trixie goes around and starts handing out wigs.
Starting point is 00:48:48 The people are giving wig options, I should say. And she's basically, she likes checks it on various people. And Angie's like, hey, Trixie, how do we look in these, in these looks? How does it look? I was like, are you using the same magic marker you use on your t-shirt for your eyes, Angie? No, not at all, not at all.
Starting point is 00:49:10 And now there's like, should I do a diagonal line on my eye, what do you think, Tricks? And Tricks, he's like, you know what? You're not gonna be on your deathbed thinking, I'm glad I didn't do more. I have to say, I think that's a beautiful saying, but I disagree. I literally think I'm gonna be on my deathbed thinking,
Starting point is 00:49:27 I'm so glad I didn't do more. I mean, I've really used this life to enjoy so much time and bad, and I just wanna thank you, bad. Before I leave this earthly plane, I just wanna say thank you, bad. Love you! I'll be like, you know what? I wish I did less.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Like that one time I was podcasting with Ronnie and we're doing an episode where we're trying to be funny and then I stopped everything to talk about minds and Angola. Wow, you're really beating yourself up up. No, I'm not. I'm just, now I'm just making a call back. I'm not beating myself up. I kind of feel like Angola.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Angola sort of sounds like. You're stepping on your own minds. It's like you set minds and then you're just stepping all over them. I'm just like in an Angola sort of place. But you know what though Angola Angola does sort of sound like a drag queen name doesn't it? Is that disrespectful? It probably is. I apologize. So Ang, you know, Angola does. What did you say? Anguota. You know, like, well, the will of producer is won't the producer. That's a drag queen. You have to like, change it up a little bit.
Starting point is 00:50:27 It won't be Anguilla. It would be like, Anguota. Bunch. Either way, I'm just not going to talk about Anguilla ever again. So, Trixi, you know, I support you either way, babe. You're doing a lot of the largest Portuguese capital. So I really took on a lot of information about that country. So Trixie is, she's like girls, she's like well right now you look like you're going to breakfast, I need you to go to brunch, pull it together whores and when
Starting point is 00:50:56 he goes we got this hoe. Just leave it to let Trixie stop. Please stop. Like that. Please stop. So Trixie goes to Mary and Meredith. And Meredith is like, oh, how have we ever been? And there are 45 pounds. And Mary's like, what? She flares her eyes. That was a joke.
Starting point is 00:51:18 That was a joke, right? Those were not 45 pounds. I don't know. I mean, literally, do you know it feels 45 pounds to me? Everything. Okay, I pick up my phone. I'm like, oh, that is incredibly heavy. Who does that?
Starting point is 00:51:34 It falls to me. That's heavy. I'm dying over here. Well, actually my steering wheel is about 45 pounds, which is why I had such a difficult time turning it, which has nothing to do with what I drank or didn't drink beforehand. And so if I clip into a house, it's purely because I have a very heavy steering wheel. So Meredith's like, well, we're not a person.
Starting point is 00:52:02 So Trixie brings a crown out, her drag race crown trophy thing, and she's got Brandon, her assistant, with an umbrella held over her. Yeah. This is why you buy your own motel and Palm Springs. This right here, this is why I'm gonna do a go fund to get that plus a theater. I want Brandon following me with an umbrella.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Well, I walk down downtown Palm Springs. I like the legitimately think you should somehow find a way to buy that ongoing. Like for real, you know, I'm waiting for someone rich to be listening to this and be like, you know what, Ronnie, your dream is my dream. Let's make it happen. And then there's like a reality show about like making the,
Starting point is 00:52:42 you know, you get Luana Sonia. It's the season two. Welcome to crappy lake. Welcome to, welcome to plaza theater. I do have a feeling that's what vocal auditions in Palm Springs would sound like. Just the countess. It would just sound like somebody sanding a diet coat cam, you know. Perfect. You're a great friend to the woods. Let's make this happen. So yeah, so Trixis is down and she's like, I feel like a cake left out on the rain, because it's like drizzling or something. So Whitney comes out first and...
Starting point is 00:53:14 And I think I can't in the rain. And I think that I'm in the... So Whitney, it's a great song. Beautiful song. So, what'd you say? Angola. Angola. It's a huge song and Angola. Angola?
Starting point is 00:53:33 Well, I was talking about Angola. You're talking about Angola. Those are two different. Oh, but I thought you were saying Angola because that was on Real Housewives of New York. And that was like did he learn to pronounce it Angola? So, okay. I've just stepped on that mine. All right, so you've been leaving out miles for me to step on and you keep bringing it up because I keep stepping over the mine.
Starting point is 00:53:54 And now I just stepped into it well, thanks a lot. They are yes and countries, Angola and Angola. It's like Angola, yes and Angola. I'm sorry, Angola, I'm sorry, Angola. Yes, and Angola. I'm sorry Angola. I'm sorry Angola. Okay. So Trow the crown. Okay, so Lisa's like, I'm not right. So Trixie's like, okay ladies. Let's see the glam more and go and nobody comes out of the door And you just hear Lisa go, I'm not ready. And you just hear Lisa go, I'm not ready. Laurie, I'm not ready.
Starting point is 00:54:24 What do you need right now, Lisa? What can I do for you? Dark Oak. So which by the way, implies that Lisa is putting on such an extravagant look that I'm expecting Lisa to be a drag queen. So then Whitney comes out and her drag name is Little Girl, which is hilarious.
Starting point is 00:54:41 And Trixie's like, wow, she's beautiful yet familiar all the way from the O. Honeymoon suite. It's Whitney. I love the idea of beautiful yet familiar. That is Whitney. Yeah. Whitney. So then Monica is Jersey Mariah. And Trixie's like, uh, go pick her, go home and she went home, honey. Anyone else getting wet? Yeah, I'm wet in the end glow. I was like, quiet, brin. I know we mentioned Denguella, but this is not your moment.
Starting point is 00:55:16 So Angie, Angie comes out. Her name is Anita Invite, which is funny. And Trixie goes, oh, it's a music, it's music video time, because Angie has like a bright fluorescent green wig on and stuff. And Angie's like, well, well, well, look at the competition. I want to applaud Angie for dressing up for the first time and not turning it into an ode degree, like not turning it, not putting on the aggression dress and like paying tribute to the goddess Athena. So congratulations.
Starting point is 00:55:48 So then Dolly's pride is Heather. She comes out, big giant wig, and Meredith comes out just wearing black and no wig and no drag make-up. Just regular hair. Like a hint of pink. Like a little bit more pink than usual. Meredith's like, well, well, I feel a little under-don right now. Well, sorry, I tried. It's like you literally did not, this nothing but this is not tried. And I love it because this is, I feel like drag queen behavior because she didn't try
Starting point is 00:56:18 specifically because it's Whitney's event. So I supported, I supported this version of not trying. Okay, so then Whitney's like, WTF Meredith, as a host of this trip, I expect that you at least to try. This is not giving me drag. She's being a drag. Oh, so, then Lisa comes out and she's also not in drag.
Starting point is 00:56:45 She's even less dragged the merida that's even possible. At least it's like Morgan to my makeup. And then we see 30 minutes earlier. Where's Morgan? Morgan. I can't do my makeup. Morgan. That's gonna be two housewives shows this year that someone is depending on a Morgan. So then Lisa is like, oh my god, you know what, it's the past.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Colorpepa. I get, well, I get your joke, I got it. You will soon, when Beverly Hills comes back. So Lisa's like, you know what, I'm winning this because I get to be a man. And guess who I am, I'm a person with that space. Look, I wore my face. This is my face. I got to pay me.
Starting point is 00:57:29 And by me, I mean, I obscure who I am with lots of makeup. So then Mary comes out, like, actually, as drag queenie as Mary could probably be, because I was like, there's no way Mary is participating in that. But she also had like a little bit of She had a little bit of pizzazz going on but she So Trixie's like okay, well some of you pulled ahead and there can only be one winner
Starting point is 00:57:55 I can't even believe I've sat here this long because I'm busy and don't really care about this stupid show You have less ratings than my show does so I'm doing you the favor This is my crown you get to wear forever, you tell you leave tomorrow. So, okay, this is for commitment to drag, commitment to wearing one of my wigs. Monica, Monica's gonna win, okay. And so.
Starting point is 00:58:20 Monica's gonna hold Jersey bit and she's got hair spray and she's like really trying to, she's really campaigning for her win. She's a whole accent thing in a whole stick. So so basically Trixie gives it to her. Yeah and um at least actually they actually cut to Lisa with her face. I'm like, oh, like she actually expected somehow win this thing. Right. How could they not win when I have my face? It's my face. It's not my face.
Starting point is 00:58:46 It's like literally all Mark on. How do you like ignore the Morgan of it all? So Monica's like, just being in the presence of someone that like exudes this confidence, when I am like going through a time in my life that I'm like losing my confidence, it's like exactly what I need. I'm like, it's a fake competition, Monica. Let's not get too excited. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:05 So now we see Mary sitting alone by a fireplace as everyone's kind of getting food. And Monica is, she's like, so then eventually Lisa, Meredith and Mary are all sitting together. Like all the ones who didn't participate. So Monica's like, you guys don't want to come sit over here with us.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Like the food all, like the French poat off. You don't want to come sit over here with us. Like the food all like the French poat off. You don't want to be a bunch of wet noodles. French poat, that's my accent because I'm doing accent. And Lisa's Lisa still really pissed off. And so she like gets up and goes to the bar with Meredith and they both like eat quietly and roll their eyes. This is the most awkward meal, by the way. It is, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:46 It's like after soccer, you know? Your mom's just like, here's a wet tuna sandwich. This was definitely giving like sitting chiva meal. Like this was people sitting on sofas, like speaking in hushed tones, eating stuff off of plates, and like weird energy. And so Lisa's like like everyone's out quite all
Starting point is 01:00:08 the sudden and Mary's like well everyone's been quiet to me all night and so then Lisa's like come hang out Mara come hang out she's like no good like she's like no I'm good like yeah I don't like change like make it like it I'm not gonna make it fake like no I'm not gonna hang out. So Lisa's like you know know what, Mariah? Has an eShop with everything for that part? Did the baby talk? Does that thing see too?
Starting point is 01:00:30 Like she's never gonna get a participation. Who are you talking about participation trophies? You literally just dragged Laurie by her natural hair face down through Palm Springs. Over and not wanting to do drag. How dare you? Yeah. So then like the non-drag ladies go to freshen up because they're going to change out of
Starting point is 01:00:51 their quote unquote drag outfits for their going out outfits. And which by the way, their drag outfits are their going out outfits. So Whitney is like, why is everyone all grumpy? I feel like it was all fun when we were right out there, and then we got in here, and it was like, so weird, hoes. What are you talking about? It was weird when they came out and they're
Starting point is 01:01:13 normal clothes, Whitney. And she's like, yeah, but like I thought at least Meredith would participate. She's like, well, I think that Lisa looks really into Kara because she's like, I'm only comfortable like looking like herself. Oh hell no, just talk to John about it. Which she did.
Starting point is 01:01:28 And Lisa can hear this. And so she kind of walks in expecting them to maybe stop talking, but they don't just talk about her right in front of her face. I love that they're angry at Lisa for having an insecurity. Like actually that should have made you have empathy for her. Like I think she's just like really, she's so insecure that she can't even like bear to like not have her glam squad. And instead they're like, ew, gross, she's insecure. I think Lisa's just a div. I think she's just being a huge div.
Starting point is 01:01:58 I think it's hilarious. And I love that Monica's not going to just sit there and take it because you can tell that everybody else does. And Monica's like, new. Monica's great. Yeah. So Lisa comes in and sits and Whitney's like, well, I mean, this one she was, you know, I forgot what this is, but Lisa's like, what are you talking about basically? And so Monica's like, well, I was talking about the sour buses, the white noodles after
Starting point is 01:02:21 quill. Who's a what noodle? They have what noodles? Are we eating right noodles for dinner? And Lisa's like, if what noodles look like pretty girl, and looking like a what noodle, is like looking like a pretty girl in Hattito Isabella Marant, or Isabella Marant, in good makeup, then I'm a what noodle. So then Whitney's like, let's get on the bus.
Starting point is 01:02:45 We have a fun night ahead of us. So they go and Lisa's like, no, gee, they're about, oh, just, I'm a just. And she walks away like she's gonna storm off, but she just walks to the bus. So then they get on the bus and Whitney's like, oh my God, can I stop sitting by Mary, please? Please don't make me sit by Mary again. I see everyone sitting by Mary, please? Please don't make music by Mary again.
Starting point is 01:03:05 I think everyone's sitting by Mary. It's a small bus. So they're in the van and Heather is like, well, you two look like you're not in the same group so much because she's pointing at Monica and Meredith given that Monica is in full drag and a giant wig. And Meredith is just in her standard. Like, I'm going out to have a martini walk. Mm- look. Hey, what are you guys talking about? You went noodles? Hey, what was the right noodle
Starting point is 01:03:29 conversation I walked in to? What was that? What noodles? This is Lisa's way of saying, like, oh, I'm going to put you on blast with everyone here. I know. No, everyone's like, oh, shock. The lady who is just screaming through the motel. Like, nobody's going to come jump to your defense, right? So Monica's like, well, I was just shocked that you didn't dress up, that's all. A boom. I'm dressed up.
Starting point is 01:03:51 I'm in a hat to tell Kuchor. I got Valentino shoes on, a funny bag, and a beautiful eyeshadow on. Ats. A boom. Ats. The sound effects are going really crazy for this. So Monica's like, yeah, but like like we're supposed to dress up in drag
Starting point is 01:04:06 This has struck for me. Huts Everyone is in final though they are interpretation of one to rangles I took broncing to a drag branch and it was just a lovely affair of the four seasons where they dragged us Not the four seasons where they dragged us whackfast in their normal uniforms. Eggs, banid eggs. So, Lisa's like, I've dressed up on Afro-Ghosts drop we ever go on. I literally wore a sarong with a bikini
Starting point is 01:04:34 to a five star rust rod. I am a team player, okay. And Monica's like, Lisa, I'm gonna be honest with you waiting. A boom, a boom, a boom. And so she starts, so she starts choking up, she's like, and Angie goes, do you want to hold my flamingo? husband is there, so you're like lucky
Starting point is 01:05:06 but still like you're still just going on about a 60,000 dollar fee like it's so tone deaf. To hear you talk about your sex successes and the things you have and the G-wagon and the Porsche and like maybe since you've had all this stuff for so long you don't realize you're out of touch with most of America like 1% of the people in the world live like you. Shut up. Okay, listen, I've been team Monica this whole time. I'm not watching this to watch Gina on my screen, okay? And you're an okay poor. You're an acceptable poor because you're coming for people.
Starting point is 01:05:37 You're very funny. I think you're a great addition to this cast, but don't you start rich shaming on this show? Were you fucking kidding me? Yeah, this is not the case. Go complain about the 98% somewhere else. I'm just on the lander over you drove to the whatever strange drift shop that was that you went shopping with Heather, okay?
Starting point is 01:05:54 Like we've, like, so please don't do this. And you always say, oh my gosh, I don't think I'm perfect. Like my life isn't perfect. I work my ass off, okay? I'm not gonna apologize for one bit of me I'm done doing that. Okay, I like myself and then my like that's what's around I'm a good person though. I'm kind. I'm considerate. I think of others non-stop I won't get it long. Give me my mom. I know I won't get it down
Starting point is 01:06:19 You know what? That's is my face And I'm not taking it some sorry for what you're going to Monica's like you don't give a fuck your editing is so weird you are shallow This is extra in the ass. It's extra in the ass. So I'm gonna say you're editing it's you're so shallow You're so through your article. Okay, bring it down a little bit take the wig off and be Monica You're so theatrical I need my club. I need my club. Get me going on. Monica's like, oh my god, you're saying I'm fake because I'm gonna wig. No, she's saying you're a girl. So at least it's like, who are you even right now? So Monica tells her in Portuguese, you are shit are shit shit a rich ass piece of shit and then
Starting point is 01:07:06 She says that but then she goes and that means you're a piece of shit by the way And then Andrew's trying to get for the flamingo again And you just like trying to give it like here hold this it will make you feel better Electra uses this when she gets upset and so then and Monica's like pushing away the flamingo during the scene. And she's like, well, last night you got upset when I was, quiet Angie, Lisa's like, she's like, isn't that like such a critical behind the R. And Angie's like, yeah, you were okay with me last night, Monica.
Starting point is 01:07:38 And Monica, you know what, you just live up her ass, I want to just stay there, Angie. Just, you know what, you are. You are in everybody's wanna just stay there Angie. Just, you know what, you are. You are in everybody's ass Monica. Angie, the biggest you are person, the you are argument. Every single line is just her going, you are. What do you want me to write you a check for?
Starting point is 01:07:55 Stupid jewelry that is ugly. So let's just like, who are you gonna flip on to next? Okay, Monica. Monica's like, no one can hear you because like she's barking for you. And Angie's like, who are you gonna flip on to next? Okay Monica, I'm not gonna say, no one can hear you because like she's barking for you. And Andrew's like, oh, so I was a bitch last night. And now I'm a Chihuahua. Oh, so I'm a Chihuahua now and I'm a bitch last night. And now I'm a,
Starting point is 01:08:16 Devamind Pincher. Oh, so now I'm a Devamind Pincher. And now I'm a Chihuahua five seconds going on as a bitch last night. Thanks. You're the biggest bitch in this van, Monica. Monica goes, hello, thank you. When he's like, you know what?
Starting point is 01:08:31 I am just getting to know Monica. So I haven't seen this side of her. And I think it's nasty. I'm stunned. Is this how you treat all of your friends? Monica's like, you're defensive. I'm not defensive. I'm bar. So they get to this bar.
Starting point is 01:08:47 So you know what's gonna go, you know what's just gonna get worse. They're going to a gay bar, so it was just gonna get real messy. They're going to that strip of bars. I was a dying when they went into this bar. It's so funny. And also, it's so funny at this show it doesn't even bother to get shooting, shooting rights anywhere. I mean, they just walk into a full bar and stand at the bar at like a bunch of peons, you know, they don't even get their own like separate little, I mean, there is a, it's a hallway
Starting point is 01:09:13 of a bar, right? But yeah, I still love it. I love that they were just standing at the bar. Also, I was so happy for all the gaze because I feel like if I were there and a cast of Real Housewives came out, half of them in drag, half just dressed normally, I would be like, this is the best night of my life. Yeah. So they arrive and Mary is like, okay, well Meredith, signal back to me if you think I should come
Starting point is 01:09:36 because like if not, I'm good. Meredith's like, well, if you don't like it, we can leave. I'm not marrying, you're coming in. She goes, no, I'm not going to go in there. No, can I go to McDonald's?, no, I'm not going to go in there. No, no. Can I go to McDonald's? So yeah, Mary literally goes off to McDonald's. And then all the girls are like,
Starting point is 01:09:50 sidling up to the bar, which is, it's great, because we actually don't normally, we don't see that, they normally have their own table, which they don't have the year. So Lisa turns to Monica and she goes, so like instead of like addressing, like, hey, my feelings are hurt, dot, dot, dot. Am I like to, yeah, but I'm like, it's so scary to express my feelings are hurt, dot, dot, dot.
Starting point is 01:10:05 And I'm like, yeah, but I'm like, it's so scared to express my feelings to you. She's, but why? Why? But you just did. You just expressed them right now, really lovely. Yeah, and you know what? This is where you're triggering me, Monica.
Starting point is 01:10:18 Okay, I'm tracking it right now. Okay, because you're conflating with, you're conflating me and not dressing with how you guys said, with being incredibly rich and gorgeous. Monica's like, yeah, I'm just like the whole mirror materialistic thing, like, oh my god,
Starting point is 01:10:30 I have to look a certain way. And that's just how it looks Lisa. So everyone else is doing shots, right? And Heather's like, oh my god Angie, just do your shot. Please just do your fucking shot. I cannot smell your shot right now. Please don't make me smell it. Yeah. And at least it's like, so Monica, you think I can't relate to middle class America. I do 100% like when I'm in Monica and when I'm in Santa Pei and
Starting point is 01:10:55 I'm in Glime in both those places, I'm like, wow, I feel caught in the middle of Monica and Santa Trepea right now. I'm like middle America. I totally relate. Listen, you know what? No one loves Taco Bell more than me. Even people with tiny vans. Many vans? Whatever. Whatever they call.
Starting point is 01:11:16 So Monica's like, middle class people don't have 60,000 dollar wings, girl. And we do. Yeah, but who cares? She's a lot to have an expensive ring. I will say this, rich people don't start freaking out over $60,000 rings. So that's where I think, Lisa, that's where I think Monica's wrong. I think Lisa's broke.
Starting point is 01:11:36 I think Lisa's either broke or she's living on, she's burning, she's burning the aura. Everybody online will not everybody, but a lot of people online are speculating that Lisa is faking that $60,000 ring thing for insurance. Which, I mean, I don't know. It seems like small potatoes in the world of insurance and the way she's spending money. But, I mean, I don't know. I do know, truly rich people do not care that much
Starting point is 01:12:02 about $60,000, where they're freaking out. I also think it's pretty bullsy to try to do a scam on Real House of the Salt Lake City, which is still the only show that has had Homeland Security's show at the middle of shooting to arrest someone. So that's true. But also this, it's funny because later she's like, you know what, that's $60,000. That's how much I paid for. Earlier she said, you know what I pay for glam for the whole the whole year 60,000. I was like, oh wait a minute So maybe she did get rid of this ring to use insurance money to pay for Morgan
Starting point is 01:12:32 I don't know that 60,000 number keeps coming up a lot interesting number So when at least it's like yes, they do middle America has $60,000 rings And you're like nice things to Monica. You have a Louis Vuitton bag. That's $5,000 rings and you like nice things to Monica. You have a Louis Vuitton bag, that's $5,000, which I was like, good on you, Lisa, for calling her out on that thing, because you know, Monica's like, I just wanted to be an in, I just wanted to be an in. So she's basically like, but you're,
Starting point is 01:12:55 but she's like, but you're, but if you're like, oh, your materialistic, it's like, okay, it's okay for you to call me out for being materialistic. And at least it's like, no, you're twisting it from like, it's not a big deal to like, I don't want it to And at least it's like, no, you're twisting it from like it's not a big deal to like, I don't want it to middle America and it's like turn it to eight different things.
Starting point is 01:13:09 And Monica, of course, is doing that, right? She's twisting this around and she's been caught and she does kind of a gem shopping, where she goes. Okay, well, so what then? So you admit to being materialistic and I admit to being materialistic, what's the big deal? You're the one making the big deal. Yeah, basically Monica thinks Lisa's an asshole.
Starting point is 01:13:30 That's what it boils down to. And she's trying to find some sort of like moral attachment to it's the way she doesn't have to sound petty for calling Lisa an asshole, but she just thinks Lisa's an asshole. And I think she's absolutely correct. And I think her points are correct. Lisa is obnoxious.
Starting point is 01:13:45 And going on about her $60,000 ring is so tone deaf and annoying. And everybody was helping her look for it. And then having a deep amount down, like I get what Monica's doing, I think where she went wrong was the fake tears. And like, I'm a single mother. How could you talk about it $60,000 ring in front of me? Like, I think, I mean, I think that if you lose a $60,000 ring in front of me. Like, I think, I mean, I think that, if you lose a $60,000 ring, I think you are extremely entitled
Starting point is 01:14:08 to be frustrated by that. Sure, frustrated, but like literally walking around all day, going, oh my God, you guys, it's my ring. You know what, John, I'm calling John. Oh my God, it's anybody see my ring? Press security. Hey person, hey security is helping people
Starting point is 01:14:23 along this crosswalk. What about my ring? Give me a 60K. Hi, Tricks, hey, 60K hey, security is helping people along this crosswalk. What about my ring? Give us 60k. Hi, Tricks, hey, 60k. Tricks. 60. So now what you're talking to Meredith elsewhere in the bar? And what you're saying?
Starting point is 01:14:34 You know, when we were talking in the hotel, we were saying how excited we were to be in drag. And the moniker was saying, it appears that Lisa cares more about image than participals, participals, participals, partitions, participations. Participation. Yeah, I think, well, I think everyone has their own things, and that's okay. Yeah, but the truth is, we're so excited to be in drag, and we came into persona, and I was really hoping that you,ideth could come in drag tonight. And merideth's like, wow, we're different people when I don't have to
Starting point is 01:15:12 remember can. But if I planned the trip, we would really lean into the drag of all that. Well, you can't just do the tramp and the reality of the man or as I did the best I can and the ability of the manor. You know, I have a how you shooting having for the last two days when I believe I caught sick toddleritis and when if I thought like I had to put on a 35 pound wig on my hand. It just was not going to happen for me. Yeah, but I decided to do it for my friend and for the grill. Well, I don't think it's selfish not to put on the wig.
Starting point is 01:15:54 I put on makeup and a sparkly dress. But it wasn't me that asked. It was tricksy. Oh, tricksy. I did not see you have to wear a wig. And you have to do this. We were given makeup and told you the best that we could and that's what I did. I made myself look like a fabulous drag queen by putting on a little mascara and just a touch
Starting point is 01:16:16 of a blush that would maybe be sharp on camera or maybe not. So what Meredith should have just said here is I don't drink like drank Queens, drank Queens, draft like me. The end. Boom. But instead Whitney is just gonna go ahead and keep trying to get her over and over and Whitney said to dummy and she literally does. I cannot believe her.
Starting point is 01:16:39 Afternoit, listen, we're making fun of it, but we did not know the story. But Whitney had heard the story we find out last night and Whitney still stumbles into this because so someone so now let me get it So hold on a second now let me act it's all up in my head So someone's sister-in-law's grandson three year old has a headache or something and that's your excuse and Meredith gets her face of fury and she's like, no! Not! No! Do not fucking go there!
Starting point is 01:17:14 You are a monster! Get up! My brain! You are disgusting! You're disgusting! And just Meredith, you can't do that. You're disgusting, you're disgusting. And just Meredith, you can't do that. You're disgusting, you are disgusting. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Starting point is 01:17:31 I am, she basically turns into British Hulk. Like when she gets really mad, like she doesn't turn green and she doesn't become a big muscular thing. She just like, she suddenly becomes British. She's like, you are disgusting. And I am going to get out of your face because I don't want to even see you in front of me What's that?
Starting point is 01:17:49 She doesn't grow muscles. She just grows longer sleeves Like the Meredith Hulk is coming out for her head just straights back and forth So she's yelling you disgusting You infinity stones Infinity stones and Whitney's like where did she's got a shit leading grin on her face and you're disgusting. You infinity stones, infinity stons. And Whitney's like, Meredith, she's got a shit leading grin on her face. She's like, Meredith, you can't do that.
Starting point is 01:18:11 You can't take me emotionally hostage. You take a sick child who will suffer for the rest of his life to weaponize against me. Don't you, don't you, don't you, don't, don't, don't we get a dog for some reason and so then after the commercials we get to hear all that again and she walks off again and then we get another dog so then we cut to Mary who's still in the Sprinter van and the McDonald's drive through bossing to Colleen what she wants she's He's like, fish sandwich, six feet,
Starting point is 01:18:46 maggot, large fries. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for that. And she's like, really happy. So then Lisa's now talking to Heather. And she's like, I just don't like when people tell me who I am. It box me.
Starting point is 01:18:59 I don't do that to others. And Monica walks. She's like, okay, let me just like, clear this up. Okay, Heather, like you have started from the group up up to and like, so you're like, you've had this with the group and like, so you know where I am right now, right? Like, you start from the bottom. And then we'll be so. You know what? I don't like it because, you know, what? I don't do it to others and I don't want it done to me. It's like the Bible says, don't do under others. So don't do it to me. My bag is Fendi. You're stupid.
Starting point is 01:19:25 I hate your hobby, I miss my face. Genesis 5.7. This is my face. So then Meredith is now at the bar, angry. She's like, she's doing that angry ordering that like Linda Fiorentino does in movies and then Whitney sidles up to her and goes, hi, it's me again.
Starting point is 01:19:43 It's hi, it's me. I It's, hi, it's me. I'm the auntie. Not really antarounced, I'm the one who went. By the way, Meredith has done that thing where she is sobbing and having a fit and then this next second, no tears, nothing. She's just completely fine-spiling at the bar. Like, you mean the thing.
Starting point is 01:20:00 So she's not really interested. Well, you should be. And then now Angie's just alone. So she just does a shot. She just does a be. And then now Angie's just alone. So she just does a shot. She just does a shot. So that way she can like get the power to go through the scene. So it's like, listen, we had a really bad thing.
Starting point is 01:20:13 Yeah. It's funny. But every time someone tries to work through something with you, you say, I can't deal with this right now. Because I'm going through something. But like a little awareness, you did it last night. Yeah, I did not with me and last mind is because I am animal. I had a little pet bowl going after me all day and she's like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait me, scoot back with me.
Starting point is 01:20:37 Like she can, I don't know where, and she's like, scoot back, scoot back. I would like to be scooted in for this. And she is like dragging Whitney's chair away trying to get in the middle of it. And Whitney doesn't move. So Angie goes to the other side of Meredith. And Meredith is ignoring her. She's keeping her back to her. But Angie's just talking to her back in her sad green wig. And she's like, Meredith, that you call me, pitpull, Meredith, did you call me pitpull,
Starting point is 01:21:03 Meredith? And Meredith's like, I don't know, you know what, these two yammering on whether you shot them all over and over. And Monica's like, it's been a rough night for Angie, like a chihuahua and a pitball and a bitch. And she's like, keep turning, marideth, keep turning. I know you can hear me, you're fucking inappropriate. This one is insane.
Starting point is 01:21:24 I can't even deal with it. This one back here is pitball Enough, prepriot, and the prepriot you are enough prepriot I'm gonna take a shot Jesus, gasting inappropriate Gasting they're just like all going at it at this bar right now That Andrea is the saddest because she's literally talking to somebody's back who will might never the time of day. Just like point your finger and going,
Starting point is 01:21:48 Classless, you are, classless, you are classless, you are. Monica's like, oh my god. And Angie goes, oh shut up Monica. You said some fucked up shit. You called Lisa a piece of shit in Monica's. But it was in Portuguese. It's like prettier in Portuguese. So then we go to the producer talking to Mary.
Starting point is 01:22:08 And Mary's like, okay, Mary, got your McDonald's. Please make sure everything's fine in there before we leave. Okay. Mary's just like, I'm just looking for the fish sandwich. And it's here. Thank you. Thank you. The first time she smiled all season.
Starting point is 01:22:21 So Angie's like, why don't you continue to talk to me like that? Why do you, why do you do that? Why do me like that? Why do you why do you do that? Why do you talk shit to me Meredith? Why do you do that? I'm gonna say I can't I can't deal with this Non-tabler trying to come from me right now She called me a purple. She called me a Pitbull and Meredith keeps just turning away from her and Lisa's like, but why for why why does she call you a purple for why I Don't know you look like you know what? Mary death you look like a trampoline with eyes
Starting point is 01:22:55 One of my favorite insults be for the show a trampoline with eyes To show you just keep shooting your side eventually you'll get your land a point you know so it's funny and so Monica oh my god and Angie goes oh yeah well she called me the name of a dog well I don't think that face should be talking so Lisa's like what happened what just happened what just happened what's going on here and Angie's like I just tried to talk to her and keeps turning her back to me so I pulled out my trampoline card I think it worked well. Scoot down Monica, scoot down. They can't they don't have enough room to fight with each other so they have to keep trying to move each other out of the way. Emeritus is like oh wait me stop trying to
Starting point is 01:23:41 stir up more trouble. I do not think you should be calling you woman that. I will repeat it. I do not think that you should be calling a line. I will repeat with me. Couldn't you remember he's already said the same? I didn't call her a dog. She attacked me like an animal, an animal that specifically resembled a dog, which is most accurate at what she appears like
Starting point is 01:24:08 So Whitney's like, but I'm trying to help you all at least I didn't use the word Chihuahua ever until now when I repeated it from you I learned the word Chihuahua from you. I never even knew I didn't even know what a Chihuahua even was Well if you want to be mean, I'm going to sit with the nice girls because those other girls want to be mean girls. So she goes to sit with Angie and Lisa. And then we get Clown Music as Mary eats in the van. That's just funny. So we come back and Monica's talking to Meredith and Heather.
Starting point is 01:24:43 And she's like, um, can I ask you a question? Um, you remember when I was like, I'm, she's a little bitch. She is a little bitch, right? Was I right when I said that? And they're like, yep, you were right. Yeah. Yeah. Once again, Angie just pops up out of nowhere. Angie, the best hearing in a crowd of bark and hear every single thing. She's like, Monica, what are you saying? I can hear you talking about me and Monica's like, I ask them like, if I'm like saying like that, like that like you're at least a little bitch was wrong. But what do you think you are Monica? What do you think?
Starting point is 01:25:13 I'm just like telling you how I feel. Oh yeah, you're saying you're my friend and then like right in front of everyone, you're calling me a lap dog. You're not being my friend. You're like a pogo stick with ears. I don't know about any of our clothes. Do not put your nasty nails in my face like Gen. Shoplays. Do not talk about Gen. Shoplays. Please do not talk about her. I'll nail,
Starting point is 01:25:38 well then get your nails, get your nails, get your claws out of my face. And Lisa's like, you know what? I thought you don't know her. Remember that I remember when you said you don't know her, which I don't think she ever said that, did she? I don't, I don't understand that point either, yeah. Yeah, so Monica's like, you matter at more than anything. And Lisa's like, you work for her. You were her assessor.
Starting point is 01:25:59 She's on honey. You can be someone's assistant. You can't be someone's assistant when they don't paint you. Okay, let's talk about not paying people now. Grrr. And, man, she's like, she's like, well, I know that Monica got paid. I think if Monica could erase that she worked for Jen,
Starting point is 01:26:18 she would do that. She's trying to pretend that there's no history with Jen, but it feels shady and it feels fake. It feels like Monica's pretending to be someone she's not. Like, no, I think that like, most people are pretty embarrassed to have ever had any sort of relationship with Jen Shaw. I think that's not fake.
Starting point is 01:26:35 Well, I love her whole, I'm not being paid. I never got paid, so I couldn't be her employee, and they're like, yes, you most certainly did fucking get paid. She says something like, I mean, she's got all these kids. What does she say? She says, she's like, you're gonna sit here, oh, she goes, you're gonna sit here and tell me you left all of your kids for free.
Starting point is 01:26:52 I mean, oh, God. Of course, what a horrible thing to say. Yeah, she goes, you left all your kids for free. So she goes, yeah, I know she got paid. So I think it's interesting if Monica is pretending she didn't get paid to somehow slide out of getting in trouble or something. I think she's just, she's just, yeah, she's just, she's saying it's like, um, it's like how if it's like getting married and then realizing that the marriage license was never filed.
Starting point is 01:27:21 Tom Schwartz, I don't know, it's sort of like one of the things that we were technically married. So Monica's like, so yeah, basically Monica's like, don't go there with me Angie, like, dead ass. And then Angie's like, let's talk about our porches. It's more interesting. Did you say porches? Is that what you said? Yeah, because earlier, because earlier, she was like,
Starting point is 01:27:40 I mean, I can't believe you guys, all you're talking about is your money, your G-wangets and your porches. So she's like, yeah, let's talk about our portions. It's more interesting So then they Hey, just I'll get back on the bus and Mary's just sitting there And she's like, yeah, I want to make the adults and they're like, I'm so jealous And basically they're they're like, okay
Starting point is 01:28:01 It was this was really fun. I love you all But I'm excited to get home because they're going home tomorrow Which by the way this was like three episodes and it was two two days worth of vacation But I can't believe how much drama they fit into two days in bomb springs Yeah, what a funny episode my god for this brings us to the end of real housewives of Salt Lake City everybody Thanks so much for listening and we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone. Bye.
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