Watch What Crappens - #2178 Below Deck Med: A Storm is a Stewin’

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* Below Deck Med keeps the drama going when Tumi shows up to do her job and Natalya’s hackles rise. Will everyone make it out alive? This week's bonus episode is about failed food and reboot recipes, respectively. Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hello and welcome to WatchWather for Podcasts. Roll that crap, we love to talk about a new brawves, I'm Ronnie. And that has been over there. Hello. BAM. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good babe, how's everything going over there with ya? Oh, it's just great, just doing great over here, you know. Blow deck med season isn't full effect. So that's a fun stuff.

Sure is. Thanks everybody so much for being paired a crappy hour last night Monday night. It's every other Monday at 5.30 p.m. Pacific time 8.30 p.m. Eastern on our Instagram live. It's our little Bravo gossip show. So come join us for that one. We're not doing that. The weeks we're not doing that. We do dwell. Hello's our one-dry plus show. And that is all about house hunters. Those are house hunters recaps. And then these days on this show, on the regular show, we do these for free. But if you want to just keep paying for things,

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And today, we're here with below deck Mediterranean episode two, too many cooks. Yeah, previously, hey Norma, go fuck yourself. That's basically what we went off. That was a pretty eventful first episode last week, might be. It would be hot, a lot happened. You got a big lyre face, Ruan in here,

trying to make us believe he's got paperwork when he stole all of his paperwork, and then he had a big Instagram post being like, oh, no, no, no, no, people just don't understand how I've got it done here. I've, uh, I did have paperwork. I guess I just got it from someone who was faking the paperwork to me when they were giving it to me, while I still paid for the school and went to the paperwork,

but still couldn't name the school and named a place that he went to school where there is no school. So no one, my show, sir. No, uh, yeah, is no school. So, no. No, no. My show. No. Yeah, you're right. So much happened in the first episode that I literally thought we were like four episodes into the season. When I, like, when I looked down to write down what episode number it was, I was a little shocked that it was episode two.

I was like, really? We're in episode two, but I thought we already had a few episodes where like there was no boasting or something like that. But honestly, we're just in kind of like a continuous sort of blow deck down under sort of like what's it's like a spectrum? It's like a, it just feels like down under didn't really end because Luca just sort of came over from there to here, and now we got two of those on last ends. But especially this like us. I know, but this Australia really feels like an extension, I mean, this med feels like an extension of Australia, it just feels even more so like we're in the same season

a little bit, you know. I didn't get any separation. I like to refer to these episodes as the BK episodes before Kyle or the longer version BK double broiler W B T S M before Kyle was bugging the shit out of me. This is gonna be that time in the Bible We're like, oh my god, I miss I miss the times BK But we ended up we ended with the Norma fight, Captain of Santa, Norma going at each other's throats,

and now we're beginning with another one. Norma, you're kidding me, we can't get anyone for two weeks un-believeable. And there's no music as we open. And she's like, wow, Norma, so the last thing, the least shocking thing to happen in all of this is that you still can't do your job. Bloop.

Yeah, well actually I am doing my job, but I'm on vacation because I am sick and tired of having to listen to you fire people because you keep on hiring ding-dongs on your stupid boat that you can't even drive in the first place. Bloop. Bloop. Norma, I'm just going to need to actually read the CVs of the people that apply this time and not just have you hiring people off of Craigslist. Okay, bloop. Okay, I totally get that, but next time just know that when you request CVs from people, then don't go to CVS and say, hey, where are the resumes? Because that's a whole different thing. Bloop. Bloop.

And PS, if Craigslist is a good enough place for you to find a hairstylist, it's a good enough place to find a bozon. So stop being hypocritical, stupid cow. Bloop, bloop. Well, at least I didn't actually try to hire Craig for my boop. It's not a real person, bloop.

I totally would have hired Craig if he was a real person because he's famous and we're a television show you got the immediate change your hair Hey, remember the time you asked if you could hire Jenny Craig as chiefs to you idiot Last ten pounds on that hiring round you dumb bitch love you bitch Love you to bitch, but not really I'm on vacations that bother me Love you too, bitch, but not really. I'm on vacation step by other than me. Blu. I'm just gonna leave the three continuing dots.

Never get an answer. Captain Sandy could just sit there and stare at those. That actually was funny. That's Sandy goes, but she hangs up the phone and she goes, okay, all right, ciao. You know, Norma's like, bitch does one charter in Italy and now she's saying, ciao. I've been, I'm still here in America.

I was just, when does this bitch say, Ciao? So, um, Brooke, who is the temp stew is doing this. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, This ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho cute throwing chairs to just face. It's like, oh damn it, they're gonna live it down. I just read an article about Heraldo actually. The New York Times had this random profile about him because he's like sailing a boat from Long Island to Cleveland via the Hudson River in the Erie Canal. And so a reporter went on the boat with him and he was just like talking about his life and times. And I thought, I can't believe journalism's dying.

Anyway, continue on. Really? I mean, there has been ever since Heraldo was on the air. That man, that guy really hangs on. Got it. That's a perfect person to sail about because he knows how to hang on, okay? Heraldo is always here.

He really, I believe the movie, all his loss is based off of Geraldo. He's like my grandma taught me about Jesus. Like, you don't need to believe in Jesus for Jesus to be right behind you. I mean, I feel like Geraldo is just always there. It's like, I don't even need to believe in him. He'll still be mentioned every once in a while. If it weren't for Geraldo, we wouldn't have had this season of Real House Of Orange County

because, of course, Geraldo was the original person who opened up a vault. And like in this season there was nothing in it. So Natalia is making the mistake that we see happen on the show all the time where she's offering people a choice of breakfast instead of saying he's been getting waffles and scramble the eggs. So she's like, who would like their eggs? How would you like them? And of course, they have to answer like over medium. I really like mine over easy.

I like mine over easy medium. I like mine. I'll heartish medium softish in the center. Oh, for her. So, so then meanwhile, the water's choppy. It's a very choppy water situation and like the, the jet skis are going down into the water but it's everything's like swaying around and everything.

And Laura, even though her name is spelled Lara but she's Laura, correct? It's last week I was calling it a Lara but this week I know as everyone calls her Laura but she spelled Lara. Can we get her out of Rivera on the case here? I'm just trying so hard to care and it's just so weird that it won't come.

Is it sleep mode? It won't. So she's like, wait, let me see if I can, wait, give me a second here to remember her, her Afrikaans accent. She's like, she's like, it's very dangerous because the wind is going to. Right on.

The accent is like, so how does it go again? She's like, it's very dangerous because the wind is going to show. The accent is like, so how does it go again? She's like, it's very dangerous because the wind is going to show. But the steel columnist, Luca has. Listen, I don't have any of these accents still, so it's totally unfair for me to be saying no. But if it were a yes or no, that would be it now. Now, do I know how to do it? I don't. I'm going to guess. My guess is, it's very dangerous because the wind is rushing still,

but look how calm Luca has, you know. I would just love to be on that level because everything's just okay all the time. But he's beautiful. He has the most beautiful qualities about him like he's a God's gift to people. Oh no! She punctuates everything she says a little.

It's like not even a long laugh. Yeah, it's just like this little. Also to anybody mortified on these accents, welcome to our show. We're terrible at these and they will eventually get better, but probably never good. We never. So we never say this is how all people of this language sound.

We're just trying to sound like this one person and we usually mess up. And we just, for us, we just like to see how close we can get over the course of a season, which is usually not very close, but we try. We try. We're like the opposite of the Trapper project. We bully people and then we promise you,

we're not gonna get better. Yeah. So the chef gets the egg orders and he's like, all of our medium easy eggs, what even is though? It's just made up words, making thinking there's more about food, there are either runny eggs or they are hard eggs. Okay, you can't talk about your Michelin star ass

and how Michelinie you are. And then this egg orders. Like, a chef is judged by his eggs, sir. Learn your eggs. Yeah, and I will never forget the season of top chef that opened up with all the chefs having to make omelets. And they, I think, like, 75% of them could not make an omelet. It was hilarious.

It's a real thing. Yeah. So now the jet ski is going back up, because it's too choppy for jet skiing. Okay. And so it's going back up. And then now basically, Luca calls Sandy. And it has a bigger figure about the eggs because these are not over medium and over. Yeah. So Dr. Keane is a real dick about. his a cut. Well, now we know that Jack is mortal. We've learned that, is that suck. I say this as one doctor to a non-doctor,

in this case, Jack, not a doctor of the eggs, apparently. So then, I'm sorry, go ahead to your Lucas scene. So I don't even know what that was so important, but I was like, I need to get the egg dizzy. There was nothing. I was just against the chef for not knowing how to do the eggs, but now that the guy is making fun of him, I really hate the doctor and want him to be thrown overboard. No, there was no Lucas scene.

I just had a note where I said Lucas calling Sandy. It was one of those things where I thought was going to be a scene and then it wasn't, so I just have the spare note in my notes that says, Luca calls Sampi and has no bearing on anything that happens on the rest of this episode or the rest of the series. Well, one of the guests is like, Hey, I heard somebody calling, Sam, me and me. So I was something that happened, but I need this. I need to get off this boat.

Please can we get off this boat? So this guy's not doing very well. So then let's see, Jack is, when the doctor says, they're cutting back and forth as you guys can tell, but when the doctor says we found his mortality, we found his weakness, it's egg, and then it cuts to Jack in the kitchen,

dropping a spatula. I like it the editors like, save that, put that in the Jack failing bin. That part of Jack drops a spatula. We're gonna need that one day. Wow, it's only episode two. Meiled it. I was surprised I didn't add in like a Boeing sound effect or like a slide whistle like or don't. But he's like such a dick. He's like, yeah, eggs. He's a talented chef, but he can't cook eggs for crap. I'm like, okay, you could just say these were not how I like my eggs.

And then he's like, I mean, and by the way, in case you have more Americans, maybe just have a guide, just like a picture guide of how to do a medium egg, because this was not it. Because I'm glad that this was finally addressed on this show, because we've said it before, but we've never seen it publicly addressed. And that is the fact that Americans order eggs like assholes and that's just the truth.

We always have and we always well that is like a very American thing to all order your eggs as a completely different way and then say things like over medium. Yeah. I feel like it's only over easy and over hard right? Well I mean if there's a hard and a soft, there's a medium. Yes. But there what? You want a running fucking egg? Can we stop? Yeah.

So now Luke is telling Captain Sandy about the choppy out there and just, these will pass. And then they're basically going to, they're going to take the, the guess to the shore. Because the guess we're getting antsy, One guy has basically vertigo right now. He sees things. Nathan. Yeah. Nathan was. Nathan.

And yeah, he's a was. And I think this really shows a lot of us character. And we don't know much about him as a person, but we can all agree that he's a failure in life. And he's a failure in the human race. And anyone who is romantically attached to him should probably leave him for someone better. There.

By Nathan. Enjoy. Buy Nathan. Enjoy masturbation Nathan. So now Natalia is a... Your hot dog's too thick on the outside. Nathan's hot dogs too much. Oh, and always your brain is too dry. You know the best thing about a hot dog is a bone. And Nathan's hot dog just doesn't nail the bone.

It's no international. the best thing about a hot dog is a bone. And Nathan's hot dog just doesn't mail the bone. It's no international. You were national, it's just so much better than Nathan's. Sorry, but if Nathan's wants to advertise with us, we love Nathan's. But Nathan has suddenly turned, so Natalia's like, so they sang the eggs went running. And Jack's like, I knew it.

I knew when I was cooking on the eggs went running and off of fucking eight eggs. Or beyond his hard-earn eat breakfast, it's overrated. Get it out of the way. We've been wrong for hundreds of years. You'd know, just launch dinner, and now I've got to redeem myself with these faithful. I spent the first six years in my life, not even having breakfast. What was the zombie to?

So I can do all the fence, the things in the world, but when it comes to eggs, it just falls off. Don't put that on your resume. So just make eggs. So now you're like Americans in being different exoels every day. Which is true. That was an accurate read. That was we deserve. We deserve that.

Yes. I love the reading Americans per filth on this show, because it's always accurate. Americans invent a different egg style. It's true. And we are terrible. We acknowledge this. So now Dr. Kean goes into Sandy's office and he's like, hey, so a couple of the guys are tossing their cookies because they were made with eggs, your chef, those are reference.

So if he has, that sounds like a fine time, tossing cookies, I'll always be here to catch cookies. So if, if you think it'll be like this for a while, maybe we'll go to the shore for a bit because again, one of my friends is really hurling a lot. Oh God, I wish there was a doctor on board. We'll go to the shore for a bit because again one of my friends is really hurling a lot. Oh god I wish there was a doctor on board. Huh, that was a joke, but you could maybe help maybe I don't know Could you maybe give him an eye lift? Maybe a little bar flash then, you know Maybe replace one of his leads with some underwear fat. That would be fun

Maybe put some butt tissue on his eye. You wouldn't have to see the sea as much and wouldn't be puke everywhere I don't know. Just thinking out loud. Yeah, so So, okay, you know what, that's a great idea. Let's go to Shwar. I've got you all hooked up for a hug, friends, okay? You're gonna be met by a beautiful woman who's in charge of her life, who's gonna hug you all, and her name is Mapton Panty, okay? She's gonna give you guys a lecture on women,

women of barra-a-m-it, hug ya, and then we're gonna have some lunch. Hopefully I'm gonna toss some cookies and you're gonna catch them in your mouth, and then we're going to have some lunch. Hopefully I'm going to toss some cookies and you're going to catch them in your mouth. Okay, nothing. He's going to be recovering from the bosch and mama's eyes. So good old unreliable Nathan. So Sandy is like, she's like, I feel bad, you know?

Like my friends are on board, and they're down, you know, when we're down team members, and I want to get them everything that they paid for, you know? And if this charter doesn't go well, I'm gonna have to find a new doctor, which will be easier for me, because I don't have an eyelid issue. So I can find, I can see.

I was trying to make it look like when I opened, you know? See. So I know. Eyes on the prize, am I right? So Luca comes to check on Natalia while she's batting the table, clearing the table or whatever. And she's like, oh, you weird. Confresh me up with the whole will ya? No, it's nice. Alright, Gropi. Alright. I was quite a hog. Oh, yeah, just kidding. Coppa feel, why don't ya? I'm just kidding about there. He grabbed my poop. Oh my god.

I'm a bit more demeanous. And then we get a really wonderful performance by Natalia's arms as she describes the following. She starts talking about her and her boyfriend's relationship and while she does it, she keeps doing all these like ex and all this like crazy term acts that for her hand. She's like, me and my boyfriend have been together for four months and like, he wants an open relationship

but I'm like, on show about that because every guy I've been with has cheated and I'd rather be in an honest relationship from the start. Unfortunately I fell in love with him before I knew he was the stall that he wanted. I was like her arms were going everywhere. I was like wow you have really one up to Shannon Bedura on Bravo and that is an accomplishment. So but with Luke there's no home and flirting is there I mean looking is fine touching us a nago Already is because I'm in an open relationship is it or is it not can I flick can I not flick? I don't know it's touching okay Okay, oh my god. I was talking to myself. Do I go to the bridge nice? What do I do? What do I do?

American their eggs am I right? I can tell you this much the bridge and ask what do I do what do I do Americans near eggs in my right I can tell you this much I say this is someone who really likes you you are not built for open relationships most people aren't a lot of people will say they're into open relationships that people who say they're into open listen I'm into open relationships because I like to change I'm fine with cheating on you but if you're in an open relationship with me, that's gonna be a problem. I'm not gonna like it.

I know a lot of people are the, some people can do it. Some people can do it. A lot of people cannot. You, Natalia, are one of the people who cannot. I can already read it all over you. Yeah, she's not gonna work out for you. It's a real shame because that really goes against that.

Like, I always thought the old adage was, there's wood ships and there's iron ships, but the best ships are open relationships. You wanna get your ass kicked? Tell me you're in an open relationship with me. I was just referencing that because that is like the new toast that we hear on Bravo all the time, including tonight, yes, including today.

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come back to haunted us. Follow Ghost Story wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on October 23rd, or you can binge early and at free on Wondery Plus the same day. So she flirts with Luca a little bit. Well, they are Wonday. So then now the tender, they're going to take these guys to shore because they're getting seasick, but they're going to put them on the tender to do it. And the tender is insane. It's like boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

Because the sea is tossing the tender as well. Yeah, and so Natalia tells them that they'll be getting onto the tender to take them onto the shore. And Dr. Keynes like tender, which goes, Yeah, so you know what, the team does a small boat. Attend your America as a chicken, isn't it? Oh yeah, yeah. That's right.

So just as a reminder, Americans, you love your crazy eggs and you think tender's a chicken. All right, so just want to give everyone a scoreboard on American culture right now. Chicken tender or just a relationship style because my boyfriend likes to get tender with whoever's in front of him right at that moment. Don't have to be me.

I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. All right, just getting the boat. Get the tiny boat. My boyfriend enjoys it when I make him chicken tenders, but also when other people make him chicken tenders. That's what I'm trying to say. Because.

So they get on the t- they're going to get on the tinder and then this guy and Nathan is like, um, could I have like a puke bag? And look at just the rest of them like, um, could I have like a puke bag and Luke just there is it him like No, yeah, I know Am playing just just go over board all right mate Which is funny because I feel like actually on a super yacht of someone asked for a puke bag Even though you can puke overboard. They should get him a puke bag, right?

I like the news just like now. No, he's like sometimes I think sometimes that's the best. You just, sometimes people need to hear the word now. And Luke just smiles at him, just like, just with this blank smile, like no, no you know. Get that. So he goes, you know, the only thing is the small, but most of them the large, but they were in for 10 minutes of absolute hell. So they get on and Nathan's barfing

already or beside. And on the bottom of the screen, it says, eight minutes of vomiting later. So they get to Portofino and Lucas like, Portofino means him with dolphins. So if they're lucky, they might see some dolphins and hopefully they won't puke on it. I see some dolphins and hopefully they won't puke on it. And dolphins have little dolphin umbrellas. They're like Americans. Americans are coming, sloppy eggs coming out both sides. No. So Talia is telling people what to clean

and Jack is cutting some meat and then Haley wakes up and she's ready to go back to her shift and we just see her get out of bed and she says, I smell like dick. Yeah, definitely smell like dick. And then Tali is like, it's definitely going to be difficult stepping down from Chase to role when the new person arrives. But this first child I'm like she's my self a little like we're crew members down,

Brooks never worked on a boat, look at her. She's actually putting a mop in an electrical circuit. I also want to impress Jack. This is a great opportunity for me to show Captain Sandy that I can be an amazing chiefs to and I will have absolutely no problem whatsoever when I have to go back down to third stew. It's amazing because Captain Sandy is trying to say listen, you're in the chiefs to do with to say listen you're in the chiefs do with this But you're in a chiefs do relationship with this bit, but it's an open relationship Sometimes you're gonna be a chiefs do and then sometimes you're not gonna be a chiefs do and I just want to prove to everyone that I'm fine with that So then Natalia talking about a set of dinner with like dinner tonight is gonna be like a multi-course thing and there's gonna be an EDM party afterwards

It's in our tonight is gonna be like a multi-course thing and there's gonna be an EDM party afterwards. So by the way, for everyone who loves EDM and loves going to like the Electric Daisy Festival and like loves listening to Marshmallow and Tiesto, I hate to break it to you, but these guys have killed EDM. Sorry, the genre's over. So it's good.

I like Dr. Keenry and it, sorry. So then we cut to Brooke making a bed and she's just giggling. She's like, then we cut to the guy's touring and shopping through the little town and Norma. It's time to get a text from Norma. Bloop, Sandy, still no bulls in, but I've got an experience deck hand for you. If you can be called Captain, you can call this person whatever you want, really. I mean, we're just giving away titles at this point, am I right? Blu?

Hey, Norma, I got something for you also. It's called a middle finger. Okay, get me a bozen. Blu? Day in a fire. Okay, if this guy works half as hard as you, the boat would sink. Huh? Blu? Oh yeah, just like your second and third marriages, huh? Bloop

Bloop, choke on an anchor deck, hey ho, love ya Bloop, bloop, I'm not really into dick but maybe you know that if you're a better friend Bloop Bloop, bloop, dick smad in the U either it never would be Okay, have a great one Bloop. Bloop. Dick's mad into you either. I never would be. Okay. Have a great one. Bloop.

Bloop. Yeah. You too hope you have a great weekend buying things at Dick's sporting beds. Because that's what you are. Three dots. Moving. So, um, Brooke hurts herself rolling a towel on the floor. Having great one, having great in two episode arc on this series. There are no notes better

to read back to myself than below deck that's every time. Here's my next note. Sandy looking through binoculars and no follow through. Nothing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they were. She hurts herself rolling it down on the floor and goes out and this starts laughing. And Jess is like, are you okay? And she says, I just have myself on the funny bone and it wasn't that funny.

You know, the funny bone doesn't actually make you laugh, but anyway. So Natalia is checking on housekeeping and everything. It's stuff like that's happening. The deckies are blown up toys. Luca gets an attender to get the guests. The guests are like walking around a church. You know, I didn't know like Dark Key and saying something like, uh-huh. I think we found Michelangelo's,

he's really mortal, no electricity in here. Am I right, guys? Right. So Jessica and Natalia are talking and Natalia's like, I'll just talk to you to hear the things. I've got an OCD, it's on diagnosed, but I don't know how many days will be chief in second. You know, it could go away any day.

Like, right now, I'm in a relationship with you is my second, but you know, who knows? I any day. Like, right now, I'm in a relationship with you as my second, but, you know, who knows? I'm not going to be second tomorrow, and you could be third. I mean, that's called an open relationship, and I'm totally fine with it. All right. And just because like, yeah, man, fuck the hierarchy. I think Natalia's stressed that the new chief's do is coming,

but it's for the best, because the chief's do needs to have a better way to delegate. So we're all doing equal work. Also, I just want someone to follow. I just really want that so badly. So then Sandy is inspecting the toys and she walks by the banana, which these days is looking quite a bit like a Nathan's hot dog if you ask me. She's like, oh, God, I love that banana.

She really is. She's, she's literally exoing the banana once again. Like every season loves it. She loves it. She loves it. And this one is technically a hot dog. It's called a hot dog. It's labeled a hot dog.

Okay, I thought it was a hot dog. But they were actually like, I don't know what's the banana. Yeah, she's like, I guess the toy itself is called a banana. It's a hot dog shaped banana, I guess. And so she's like, yeah, God, I love a banana. It's a hot dog shaped banana, I guess. And so she's like, yeah, God, I love that banana. Okay, let's get to trampoline now. Okay, that would be awesome. And the tender comes back and they get pink goddess drinks. And Luca whips out the slide and

gets it over just fine and gets it blown up. And there is no slide drama. Now, how is this kind of fired on the first day? and there is no slide drama. Now, how is this guy not fired on the first day? The show depends on slide drama. I have this the first time in 10 years, no slide drama, and then maybe it's because of the David, because Sandy's like, you know, oh, that David is incredible. Wow, what a great David.

You know, if you put the D upside down, it becomes pop it from Real House, it's in New York, that's funny. Anyway, good David. You know, if you put the D upside down, it becomes pop it from Real House of New York. That's funny. Anyway, good David. So Luca... God, David. Sorry to meet the curse. Okay.

God, I love that, David. God, David, I love that, David. David to Cuffney, huh? So, he was hot. He was hot. That's normal love, that, David to Cuffney. So good luck for her. She'll never get him.

She's too ugly. There I said it. He good luck for her. She'll never get him. She's too ugly. There I said it. He's out of her league. X files more like the no sex files for Norma. That's every gay though. The truth is out there and the truth is Norma sucks. And I'm putting it out there. Aliens are amongst us. You know, because normal looks like you, the bad human resources employees are out there.

Okay. So she's like, okay, wow, I love that banana. Okay, next scene. So Natalya and Jack are talking about courses. He's going to do a risotto. a salmon starter, a vinesan. She goes, what's that? He's like, look, Bambi. Ow!

You don't know what vinesan is. Come on. How long have you worked on Super Yots? Yeah. You've never heard the word vinesan. Seriously. By the time I was 19, I was basically running on Michelin starter kitchen. And I was, wasn I was basically running on Michelin's daughter, a kitchen, and I wasn't

emotionally ready for that position, you know, because I was literally running a kitchen in a Michelin store, but I went on sabbatical. Have you ever tried to cook? A four-course meal on a tire? It's very difficult. So I went on sabbatical, and I went to Asia, and just treated my whole mindset. I was teaching the locals how to cook western food, and vice versa. But vice versa is a strange use because it makes sound like the western was teaching the locals how to cook Western food and vice versa.

But vice versa is a strange use because it makes sound like the Western food was teaching me how to cook locals. But you know what I'm saying. There's a lot of Italian influence and Asian influence in my food. You can see my journey on the courses. Well, first the journey starts at 19, then gets fired, then moves to Asia, then gets moved back again. And ends up in the chillies saw. Sorry, I made an egg roll.

I made an egg roll and we opened it up. Maranara sauce comes out. So Lara is pulling out of the world. By the way, some would say Italian food already does have a lot of Asian influence in it to begin with. Needles. Needles. Needles. Or is it the other way around? I think it's, no, I think it's not the whole thing. have a lot of Asian influence in it to begin with. Does it? Noodles. Or is it the other way around?

I think it's, no, I think it's not the whole thing. I'm not going to jump into this battle. Respect. I will tell you the reason I respect both cultures, the noodles, and the carb work. That's great carb work. It's a great carb work. Anyway. Yeah, no, Central Asia is most like the first area to have produced

noodles thousands of years ago, according to archaeologists on the PBS website that I just looked up very quickly. Safe. Actually, like Asia is going to win kind of in any historical battle, aren't they? Yeah. Yes. Always. Pretty much.

So, Laura is Laura Lara Lara Laura Laura Lara She's pulling up a route from a sweat platform and it's stuck a swim platform and it's stuck on something and she's like Ali Ali could you please come to the swim platform? Oh, this is a cluster fuck Everything is caught on everything else the line is caught around the props I'm gonna swim underneath the prop. I'm gonna on hook it And then I'm gonna go around the prop and catch it around It's like this is very dangerous work. I don't like this happening I don't like Laura being put in this position. I think Sandy would not like Laura being put in this position

Tell somebody you're doing it. Maybe you what if the captain's like, oh, you know what? I'm gonna move my branches to the right. Yeah. I was like, maybe you tell someone, I'm just like expecting like a puddle of red water all of a sudden and then commercial break. I was like, come back. Well, Laura died everyone. So, hey, Norma, do you have any one who could be a deck hand who's also alive?

Who have a little bit of a problem? That'll take me about seven weeks, okay? Good, well, wish me luck. So she calls Haley and Haley and saying, Oh my God, why is my mic thick? And she's like, okay, we need to get this prop from under the boat. And Haley's like, you too, and I'm not touching that shit.

So she goes down under and she does it. She unwraps the thing and she comes back up and she goes, oh yeah, I handled that shit. Mama boss. She, yeah, but by the way, she does it, but not before she does the classic below deck thing, which is there's a rope, that's a,

that's, it's way under on the prop. And if the prop turns on, the entire boat could explode in a fireball and we all sink and die. This could be the end of the charter. I'm like, did somebody turn this on after? What just happened here? Did Laura just almost die and they'd just brushed over it or what? I feel like maybe I could have, I mean, I don't know. It was,

it was, I definitely had the same thought that you did, which is like, it's just like a, so I'm gonna turn on the prop while she's down there. So much should say something, don't touch the propellers, you know? I was scared. So now we get a slide cam, which nobody needs. Okay. And if nobody needs to put a slide cam on.

So then basically work, work, work, work, place that cleaning, place that cleaning, place that cleaning, place that cleaning, place that cleaning, place that cleaning, place that. Placid cleaning, quick cleaning, quick cleaning, it's going up, it's going down, party party party, party EDM tonight. And Natali is like, you wanna know one of my least favorite things,

boyfriend's cheat on you and call it open real, okay, so say it, long dinas. Yeah, she doesn't like those. And then we have Laura and Haley, doing that classic thing on below deck. Oh, you know, this is so that every single season you see this when the two lower deck hands just sing the praises of the boss and all this God, they just, well, I mean, how many seasons we have to see this happen where they just say,

oh my God, he's so calm and he's collected and he's really sweet and he is really like a great boss. I'm like, all right no, fall ready below deck, we're sick of this cliche. I think it's because he's like so hot. Yeah, I don't even know what Lucas doing. He's just so hot, he has, you're doing great. Yeah, this is the first time ever that any of the deck he's ever been to.

I was gonna say, I mean, listen, once a below deck is done, it's out of my brain DVR. So I couldn't even tell a few or being sarcastic. I was like, this is happening. No, every single time, like a boason's like, hey, can you bring in that boat? Like, they're on such a power trip. Like, like, do they even realize how much work we're doing here? And like, and like, Haley and Laura, like, he's great.

Love his, love his leadership style. He's a really wonderful person. This is, I know they're so positive. The whole crew so positive. And they just want to work. They're like, whatever I could do. Hey, could you do this for me that love to? I would love that. Hey, you know what?

The rope is around the prop. You know what? I'm gonna just take care of that by myself without anybody asking me. So then the guests are getting ready for dinner and then to meet text Sandy and she's like, great news. Carl and I got a visas.

Italy here we come, although actually Carl will be a little bit behind me because he said he had to go see someone named Frank and his smile. I don't know what that means. So in the galley, Jack's like, I forgot what I put with the venison. What you remind me dear. And Tali is like, paint-frode whatever animal, be me, with common roasted carrot,

balsamic, s-souls, is that what it is? It's like, oh, god, yes. It's one of the things about being a wizard and Harry Potter. You do so many good things, you forget about it.

So many courses, there's a lot can go wrong, but I'm pretty confident because Natalia's on. He loves his Natalia. She does, but also don't forget about Voldemort because that could be a problem. So this- So you're not Harry Potter.

Please stop with your one weasley. It's like every time he says that I'm like, you're one weasley, stop trying to give yourself a raise. Even Harry Potter can make eggs and he doesn't even have to use his magic for it. Okay. So Sandy is- Patriots over-reasona.

They're so good to speak. I don't know why I'm even talking. We don't have to talk all the time, you know? Look at me, we're just quiet for a while. I'm just really sad I don't know my Harry Potter more. Like, I didn't really, I'm just, I really would have liked to have a yes and a little bit more. Like I didn't really, I'm just, I really would have liked to have a yes and a that

a little bit more. And I go, well you had your chance, but now it's canceled. So thanks a lot, JK, bring such an asshole. All right, but we'll move past that, not a political show. Luca and the captain. So the captain's like, so Luca has your deck team. I know that it must be rough controlling everything

from the second floor, but you do live upstairs. I mean, guess what? Still funny. Can I say it every week? I'm going to say it every single week. It's going to work for me every time is your name is Paul? No, my name is Luca. Ah, gotcha gotcha gotcha to say it We're flirty eleven I'm actually I'm a it's we're actually pretty low down there in the in the belly of yeah But just if you had to say it was a floor what kind of floor would it be? Who do you live upstairs from?

You wanna wait? You can do it, Loka. Alternately, if you ever went to a diner, what kind of diner would it be called? Would it belong to someone whose name appears on Bravo a lot? Just say anything, Virginia, this is San Vega. I'll just take anything at this point. I mean, she only has to song.

It's come on. You can hit one of them. No, don't know what you're saying. Okay, you know what? We're going to try this again tomorrow, Luke. Okay. But in the meantime, guess what? You're a nice person.

You've got crazy eyes, but a nice smile. And you were very humble in the beginning, you know? And so because you were so humble and because I like your brand of crazy eyes, listen, I love a crazy eye. And because you're very good looking, and for no other reason, you are now full time bullshit. Okay. Congratulations.

I really loved how you knew how far away that bird was. So based on that flickering moment, will you be my full time bullson? I like. And he's just looking-time bullson? I like. You said he's just looking at her with this shit eating grid. Like, are you fucking kidding me? And he's like, yeah, I would love to. He's just, yeah, okay, me too. And he's like, this whole time I'm thinking sweet.

Then he boasts he's going to call me in and then I will be done, you know? Only we haven't even put this thing in the joke yet. She's really trusting me to do this. This is crazy. Okay, Luca. So, before you become boss and you have to take a secret oath, okay, I'll start it. Da da da da da da da da da da da da. Okay, now you. Da da da da da da da. Oh, no, I've made a huge mistake. He doesn't know the rest of it.

You know, guys, let me tell you. Okay, Luca, you can go. Okay, learn some music references and go ahead and tell the whole crew that you are now at the boasting, because what a captain really should love more than anything is just having the crew to clear themselves things. Okay, so go on and do that. Now, let me tell you why, I didn't, you know, I've got a lot of faith in Luca

because Captain Jason recommended him, okay? I'm putting a lot of faith in Captain Jason recommendations. And this guy's smart, he's quick, he can call distances. Hey, let's show a clip. How far is this boat to this barge? Oh, five inches. No, trek and rewindan 18 feet. No, Rowan, we're overseas now. Let's change it.

99,000 in one piece on the wall. Okay, Roo. Okay, Roo, that, that'll do. Roo. So, you know, this in captain, Jason recommends, recommended Luca really highly, and he said, you know, like he'll be great, he knows his distances, and then he said something else, but we got interrupted because Captain Jason then was

midway through plowing his boat up a hillside. So, you know, I'm waiting to hear back, but I think he's gonna be good. It's gonna be great. Come on shoes! Here comes one right now. Okay, so let's go to Luca. So now we're in the galley and he tells Haley that he's the boss.

And she goes, I mean, do daddy bossen? Can I get your professional opinion about something? Do I smell like Dick? No, he's not. Nelly Brussin. And then now it's time, meanwhile, what's his face? Jack is putting on a big show for dinner.

He's doing like a million courses because he heard about the eggs. And so he wants to, he's doing that thing where he's like, he's got to redeem himself. So they're doing this big big service So first Italian risotto goes to the table and they all love it and Dr. Keynes like this is exactly how risotto is supposed to be made Although could I get a medium loose hard egg on top? That would make it even better. Thanks

So When we cut to Brock working, and she's like, where's the light switch? Ha! Ha! Yeah, next course. Natalia's like, broke, broke, you wanna get this one? And Jess is like, my name is Josh,

she goes, oh yeah, that's right, geez. Sorry. Yeah, because they have to, it's funny because in the first episode, they have to make Natalia look like a very competent first dude, but now they have to start showing cracks, you know? So then Natalia decides to have Jessica. Natalia has Jessica to Luca to send Haley

to go to the Sunday to decorate for EDM. So then Haley's like, um, okay, but like I just like don't know how to decorate that well. Like, should I just put up a bunch of dicks on the wall because that's what I smell like right now I think. And just like, just pretend it's your own party and then just go for a boom, boom, boom. And Captain goes,

Teamwork makes the dream work, God I love that hot dog. Now everyone has a team. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I'm already full for, but I have into a rave. And I think it's like light, helium, and ecstasy. And I've had one of those three things. So do I just start like duct taping things together? Or dot, dot, dot. Maybe let's not go with a duct tape heavy-day core, but you know, tape, it's got tape.

So then now there's like a Cavadus Lecordish that's going up and there's a lot of confusion about what that is. And then Haley is also, she's Haley's just like wandering around this deck just like not sure what to do with things. She's just sort of staring. She's like red-riding hood in the forest, just like, like where do I go? And Brooke is making a bed and she's supposed to be helping her, but Brooke is taking forever. So she never comes. So Jess comes and she's like, was Brooke even over here? Brooke, Brooke, what's your location? She's like, I'm heading up now. God is dark in here. I'm on the light switch. No one's stopping you how to do that yet.

And then Natalia tells us, she's like, Oh, I've been a stylist you before. I'm used to light nights. I'm used to running on coffee. My blood is coffee. And they show a picture of her just bending down next to a turtle. I was like, this is the second week in a row that I've used a turtle photo to like exemplify something.

I was like, what is Natalia like bending down next to a turtle on a yacht, have anything to do with late nights? Oh, you know, I'm used to light nights, you know. We had them once in an all turtle charter and they made me get so many cocktails for them. It was like it never ended. So now Jess, did you already do the part where she's like, your chiefs do now. No, no, no. Oh no. So she tells Jess, okay, yeah. So she the part where she's like, your chief's do now. No, no, no.

So she tells Jess, okay, yeah. So she tells Jess, she's like, okay, listen, I have to set up because on the quickest, so you're gonna have to do service. And Jess is like, but she's the chief's do. Like, you should do service. I can do the EDM party. I'm a raver.

You should have said that, Jess. Like, why did she say that? No one told me to. My best friend, the turtle. She likes loves the parties that I throw. But she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't , she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't,

she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won't, she won Dr. Hoshar, don't do that, man. So then the guest wants an Italian.

They're screaming for an Italian. And Dr. Wets' face, like, we're literally at the last dinner. Where's an Italian? So then Jess is like, hey, Brooke, Brooke, they need wine. So could you please fill the primaries glass with wine? And Brick's like, you guys want wine? And she just starts pouring it. And the doctor's like, oh, that's a different wine different wine that is a different one that is not the same wine

so you love blends so brook is like oh sorry just told me this one I'll get you a new one I was like whoa brook just say sorry don't throw your fellows do under the bus for that one you're gone tomorrow anyway. So basically, things are going into shambles because Natali has prioritized the stupid EDM party, which is gonna look stupid no matter what, instead of service. So then, more food is going up. And, but now they're like very happy with Jack and Kean's like,

say, I don't know how he's doing this all by himself in the kitchen. Like, maybe he's not some mortal after all. And they're just like really happy. And the the deck is coming, the EDM party is coming along. And then I was like, this is called the so random rave cave. Okay. It's going to be like an open relationship with they cool.

It's a cave where you go into with your boyfriend, but you don't know if he's going to fuck someone else in there. You, that's really fun, really bright lights, because I've got flashouts that I'll It's a cave where you go into with your boyfriend, but you don't know if he's going to fuck someone else in there. You. That's really fun. Really bright lights because I've got flashouts that I'll be shining on you the entire time. And then some roasted brand Zeno comes out, but just presents it and she goes, we have some Rose brand Zeno.

I was like, no one called her out. I was surprised the doctor was like, I'm not getting any notes of rose in this. It did sound like that. It sounded like that's what he was telling her to serve. But she just, I'm not getting any notes of rose in this. It did sound like that. It sounded like that's what he was telling her to serve, but she just, I mean, come on. So then Jess goes, Hey, what kind of meat is this? And that's like, you know, that deer, they died. Is that you know, that deer that died? I'm like, from the long, long, long, long night, Which one are you talking about? Tommy Boy.

So they serve the venison and some guy named Carl's like, you know what, this was hot, heart and soul. I think he ends up, we got to bring Jack back to Los Angeles. Like, we'll invest in a restaurant for him. I'm like, not after you talked about his eggs. I'm not going there. Yeah. So let's see. So'm not going there. Yeah.

So let's see. So the rave is looking good. The doctor now it's time to party. So the guys start wooing. You know, they're like, woo, woo, a rave, a rave. And then now I'm gonna do a toast. All right. These big sheep, sees little sheep, spit these naves,

shea, salt, fringelips. She ends like, I wanna lose my dinner over that corny-ass speech, okay? Obviously, we know the cooler chose is, does hard eggs, there's easy eggs, but the best eggs are medium eggs. Thanks everyone. All right, I've got one.

Some people can, some people can't. Nobody likes about exiles more than Americans. Alright, that's it. Oh, I've got one. Here's to the blenders, here to the fenders, and here's to the Americans who think chickens are tenders. So she's like, I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty good as cheap. Fingers crossed that the new chiefs do will come in and will have a dream time.

Last year I thought it would our head wound and then it all came crashing down and we see a clip of her bitching last year about stuff like I'm just trying to tag a day by die warrior's girl attacking me. I'm not listening today. I'm not listening to the bullshit. Did you say something? So the guest party till 2-3 in the morning or something and the next more oh at the very end of the night one of the guys is just snoring on the couch and they cover him with a little blanket. Yeah.

And then meanwhile, Natali gets into her bed and she's texting with her boyfriend and she's talking about training Brooke and saying like that, that, well, she's basically like saying, oh God, I'm really worried about this new chiefs to come in because if she's a nightmare, I don't know what I'm even gonna do.

By the way, have you had sex with anyone? He's like, you really gotta stop asking that question. She's like, I don't think he, I don't think he's ruining it, I'm so tired. So seven in the morning. Yeah, that guy is still passed out on the sofa. They're all cleaning around him and he has headphones on. He like, I'm a little, headphones on he like I'm a little

I was gonna say I'm a little impressed with his ability to just run at everything around him But I'm also like you're on a yacht. You have a whole nice bed and you're like willfully not you're staying on that sofa I have to share I think this is the one of the things where you're there's so many people Yeah, they've only got like three rooms, don't they? Really, but this is like the biggest yacht they've ever had. This is, this is a 12,000 square foot skyscraper on its side. Yacht, that's why we're in a shipping port or something like that, right? Well, that's true, but I'm not really sure how that all works because I tune out during the tour part.

Because that's like, just, because we, it happens in every single episode where there are like, there's the tour or every new charter that we get, that's like a moment we, it happens in every single episode where there's the tour or every new charter that we get, that's like a moment when you're taking notes, you just get to be like, I don't have to do anything right now. I know. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, You know what I'm talking about. So basically it's the morning Natalia is exhausted because the other thing is Natalia should have gone to sleep but she is one of those people and she put all the work on her shoulders.

So she stayed up late when she should have gone to sleep early or her and so now she's exhausted today and she's really going slow and she's like I don't know what the fuck's gonna happen with this new chiefs do is gonna arrive. I'm like I'm like I'm like gonna be like you know pleasure everything set up he is all the easiest stuff I can't wait to impress them can someone get me a coffee. And then Jack meanwhile is telling us yesterday there were a couple of hiccups with breakfast over easy, over medium, like potato potato. So I'm making kish, among you with eyes, with no eyes can make a kish.

So then he's talking to Lara, and Lara is trying to do his accent, and he's like, ah, everyone thinks, everyone thinks they can do it, but everyone's terrible at it, and they think it's gold. And I was like, I took that very personally, and you're correct. Okay, work or answer. Yeah, because he tells her, I took that very personally and you're correct. Okay, work or answer. Yeah, because he tells her, not for Ireland. Because she apparently didn't Irish accent. As we would have not know anything about that. I don't know anything.

So then the captain is calling for anchor to be hold, breakfast is served, the slide is being blown up and Gerard is like, you have more French donuts, now, sir. Croissants. I mean croissants. Yeah, they all like the quiche too, by the way. They're very happy with the quiche, so you know, congrats to the monkey with no eyes,

you made it. And the anchor comes up and everything, and then there's drama more drama Sandy Sandy Luca. There's a brick attached to our anchor. Oh, okay. So I hope there's nobody attached to that What I love that because who throws bricks in the water you do only see that like mafia movies, you know so then Who throws bricks in the water? You do only see that like mafia movies, you know? So then they're like, can we get a knife from Jack and Jack's like, bread knife, steak knife? Oh, there it is.

Brick knife. That was the Harry Potter joke in me. You know, just a joker, like Harry Potter. So they cut the cement brick off. For anyone who was really concerned about what was gonna happen, whatever rope it is that's attached to the brick, they cut it. So he got the eggs right this time, everyone super impressed. And then they're giving Laura and Haley

are giving Lucaship for being both in. And they're coming out Lara and Haley are giving Luca's ship for being boasting. And they're coming out, there's things so impressive. And then everyone's packing to go and then the pilot comes. He's like, hello! Because it is time for the pilot to come part of the boat. You mean a human Google Maps? So he comes on board and says, but Jornow, and he's like, I speak English. So Lucas, Lucas nervous because he is their first docking and he's been graduated to Bosen

and they haven't even docked yet. So they're docking and is it gonna happen? They're throwing lines, Haley's having an issue with something and it's like, oh my God, the music is so intense, they're coming in, it's fine, they dock, it's totally fine, everything's fine. Yeah, they're all good. So now the doctor's speech, he's like,

yeah, are the coolest captain there are other walls. Jack, I wanna recognize you. Great job, Natalia, thank you so much for treating us all special. Captain, give me a wink. Give me a wink. Give me a wink. All right, still looking good there you. All right, well, we're gonna go invest

in a restaurant in Los Angeles. We'll talk to you later, bypours. So they leave. I'm like, okay, everyone, gather around for a tip meeting. If you're hoping this is when you're gonna be distributed some money, you're wrong. If this is the time, I'm going to give you some tips. Okay?

All right. Incredible. Incredible. Hey, everything we went through to get off the dock, you know, Ru unfortunately didn't have the correct paperwork. It was actually not even paper. It was just some cellophane that he'd put some stickers on. So it was really bad CV.

It turns out. But I want to tell you guys, I witnessed things. Okay, and that's what happened there. You know, I said, cause some distances. And then he literally tried calling someone named Distance. Okay, you know, that was, that was, that was rough. Yeah, that's a luka. Yeah.

Listen, I witnessed things. So unfortunately, Rue has drowned in a silo. I'm things. So unfortunately, Roo has drowned in a silo. I'm sorry. So anyway, I said witness. I witnessed that. I witnessed. Okay. So Luca, you know, you called those meters coming in.

That was pretty fun. And I've always corrected people. You know, for example, when Hannah said, wow, look at me. I'm on a boat. I can do heroin in my toes. And I said, nope, no, you can't. Because there's a lady named Mary Time Law. And, you know, she's in some clap house somewhere, probably dead under a brick.

Oh god. A brick holding down a murdered person. Okay, so let's move on. So, real quick, real quick, Nuka. Real quick. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. How far is the ceiling from where you're sitting?

About 10 feet. Okay, you know what, let's confirm that. Why don't you take this tape measure, hold on everyone. Take this tape measure and go up the staircase. Okay, all right, I guess I can do that. Hey, Luca, where are you now? Where are you now, Luca? I'm upstairs.

But specifically, if you had to say which floor it was, you are Luca on the third floor, I guess, now since you had me go up one, because then there's the basement under that. It drives you right. Alright, you know, just sit back down. We'll try this again tomorrow. Yeah, we'll just, we'll work shop this. Okay. Okay, wow. You know, I look at you. The girl who keeps coming around asking people if she smells like dick, you're something. And then Lara, you're something else. Remember when I almost chopped you in half with the prop.

That was fun. Listen, my point is I'm just so happy to have women on deck. Okay, you two, you really dug in. Jack, you set a bar. That was super fun. Can't go below the bar. Jack. Do not go below the bar unless it's to take a tutorial on you to buy mex. Okay. Hey, Natalia, you really stepped it up. You were like a dance movie from the 2000s. You stepped it up because like knowing that you didn't have our, you know, knowing we didn't have our chief or our Kyle, and then you stepped it back.

Did you not step it back? I mean, guess what? I just probably know that you've been stepped back. Okay. So I just want to say thank you, and I hope you enjoy that taste of power before now you have Kyle yelling at you. Okay, that's going to be fun for you, huh? Smiles.

So Tali is like, and Tali is like, I feel like we had a very successful first charter being the first and all. I think we smashed it out of the bowl cart. Is it the bowl cart? Is it a bowl chart? What is it? We smashed it out of something. We smashed it out of a baby deer. Yeah.

Hey, and everyone, it's our last night with this girl. She sort of looks like Karen to Wood somehow is related to the Sprout store. So whatever her name is, just be nice to her for another 12 hours or so. Okay, everyone have a great night. So now they're getting ready to go out and Natalia is flirting with Luca and gets an Italian ghost to his door, saying, oh look there, oh hello, didn't even know you were here. You know what I'm looking for, some shampoo, but you happen to have any shampoo, you might

have to bend over the gear Lucas like Shibu explain the interior She knows with the fucking shampoo He's one thing that gets me in trouble on y'all's Slides and then we see a flashback of Luca making that with Jamie You know, I I would actually really like to have a Jamie in the culvert update because you know culverts like somewhere in Italy I really like to have a Jamie and Culver update because you know Culver is like somewhere

in Italy waiting in line for cotton candy. Well Jamie's just like sitting on a dock waiting for a yacht to save her. Yeah. So Haley and Laura are talking and Haley's like, oh, you're buying? Are you like fully buying? And Laura's like, it's fun, drunk, I'm a kissy guy,

but recently decided it makes me unhappy. Because in South Africa, it's not open. My family is very conservative. So she tells us that she didn't really realize that she even liked women until she was in quarantine, which... What a weird time to find out. I'm listening.

You all found us masturbate. We all found out a lot of things in quarantine. She... What did would find out. I found out that I like sondheim. So I actually just got here. That's true. You did. Yeah, I guess quarantine was a time to get there. It was. I learned how to play piano.

That's pretty gay. That's pretty her me. Well, especially if you were doing it like a librachi style, especially. No, no, I'm not going to go. Oh, that can only play a few chords, but I can still sing a show tune in my house while I play for myself like I'm in a piano bar.

And that is priceless. Thanks, Cove. Yeah. So now the group heads out to go out and they all pile into bands and Laura's like, I love straight girls. I love turning the shit out of them, and I love a gilly girl with nails and handbag.

Still can't do her accent, but there's just gonna do all of them all of them. We're gonna need to do an accent class. I think next week, we've done them for a couple below decks. I'll get some video of these people, and then we can just go through with each other next week, yeah, we've done them for a couple below decks. I'll get some video Yeah, these people and then we can just go through with each other next week and do an accent class because yeah We need to work just as hard as I was working on her last night and I was like I was great I sounded just like her but today it's all like But you know when you have any time between watching the show and then getting here. It's all out the window

I just need my intro words, you know, like there's always those phrases that help me get into the voice. And I just, that's why, what was that one, there was one phrase we used to say all the time, just because it would get us into a voice. And I can't even remember it anymore. But yeah, we need our phrases.

And then we'll take a class. Okay, so now they're going through the town, they're having fun, Laura. They're having fun. Laura's carrying Natalia around. And Natalia's trying to like speak, and I say about Kyle, I know she hates Kyle's guts. So I think this is weird, but she's like, oh my God, you guys are gonna love the new crew.

Kyle gonna love him. Absolutely wonderful. Everyone loves Kyle. I was like, nobody likes Kyle. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm horrified. I've been horrified for months knowing that Kyle's coming back. You guys are going to love Kyle. Like the best part about Kyle is getting to do all the work that he was supposed to do. You can just absolutely love that. You're going to love when he gets sick and then spends five days in his bed. It's going to be so fun for everyone here. Mm-hmm.

And Jack's like, what how do you feel about being the mart head? And who's here? Still better, regard. And that's not only coming from me. That's coming from Harry Potter. I'm alright. I'm exalted.

I'm being a victim, I guess. And Laura's like, what is a victim? And she's, you don't know what aicted is. I mean, he's like, yeah, you don't know a lot of the words we use. What's up with that, Ligma? That means like my balls. Loretta English. So Loretta talks about how basically she grew up speaking Africans. And then she went to high school and then English was brought into her life. And now she's been trying to, you know, learn words so that way she could be more articulate. She's like, oh, articulate.

That's the big word for me actually. That was on my list. This is also big word for me. That's just so impressive. I am always so impressed with people who are bilingual. I am so jealous. I cannot understate this enough. I think it is such an amazing talent to be bilingual

and to be able to converse into languages. I just feel like that is so, so hard. And I just, I'm jealous, I wish I could do it. I tried multiple times, I cannot do it. I can't Spanish multiple. And I'm crouched speaking it. And I still can't learn it. I've tried everything.

Well, you know what? Except actually doing the classes. That's because I get to I pay for the lessons and then I think, oh my God, I paid for them, which means I should know it. But it's like the gym. You can't just pay your membership and then lose weight. You have to show up and I'm really about the showing up part. It's hard. I mean, like I tried to teach myself German to do a lingo. I did that for a few months, like years ago, which was very fun, but it's a little tricky. And then I was like, let me go, just use something a little bit more practical for where I live, so I've tried to teach myself Spanish, but I just don't stick with it.

Unlike you, I just start doing it. And I don't know. I just, my hat is off to people who can speak multiple languages. Um, so your hat is off your cabaza if you well Later on the time I'm moving up for it now we're moving for it Luca are flirting with each other. She's like, are you excited for you need chief Steve? What's that tattoo about tell me about about your tattoo. Let me touch it. Oh my god. I'm just touched there. Yeah. Why don't you grip me more? You fucking pervert.

Oh, right. I'm in an open relationship by the way. Trying to figure out what that means. Okay, do you know? I don't know. Does that mean my boyfriend's fucking someone else? He have no idea. We should take him right now. All right, I'm going to give you his number. Say, are you fucking anyone else right now? You know, who else is in an open relationship? Tattoo, the band. That's what I heard. So also tattoo from love island couldn't couldn't keep a single mate, you know, you always had to have multiples.

You know, there's a planet where people have love, have open relationships. Tattooine installments. Did Luke say, what describing his tattoo? Did he say that's auto thug life baby? Is that what he said? Does nothing seem thug life about that at all? I don't know. I did not write that down.

It's probably like something else. I just wrote down. She said, what is that tattoo? And I wrote down, show me yours. Tell me your deal. Oh, yeah. That's what I wrote down. Because she has a heart on her bum.

She says, if you all has a love heart on her bum, it's like, do they? Also, we really, Luca is so cute, but honestly, I think his tattoos, I don't know, I'm not a big fan of the big butterfly in the middle of his chest. I'll just say that right now. Yeah, Jerry's out. I didn't like that one.

I think it's like decent work though. The tattoo work is decent. The artistry is decent on that one. It's not as bad as some of them we've seen. That's for sure. Yeah, I just don't love when tattoos are like Clipper, you know? I don't like that feeling like someone took a stamp. I was like, there, now there's a butterfly in her chest.

I'm like, okay, I guess. Right, but there's also the butterfly symbolically, is like, you were homely and then you were hot. Like, you, like, you cocooned up and then you became hot. And I feel like he's already hot, so I don't like him getting to use the butterfly. But also, I recently was looking up some of the different characteristics between a butterfly and a moth. And when moths are like, when they land and they're hanging out, their wings are up in like

a little triangle. But moths, when they land and they're lying out, their wings are up in like a little triangle, but moths when they land and they're lying down, their wings just lie flat. And the tattoo, because the wings are out, sort of has a little bit of a moth vibe to me. I thought that. Hmm. Okay, well there you go. You thought that. I heard you got the first. So now we go to twerking Lauren, but everyone's like parting really, really hard.

So basically they go home. Okay. And everybody is dressed as gungy and then Tali isn't bad texting. She's like, so I'd have great night. Everybody was really fun. Did you hook up with anyone? You know what? I'm actually too tired to care.

Too tired. And so he's like, well, are there any hot guys? And she's, yes, actually, dot, dot, dot. And then he doesn't write back. So she's like, all right are there any hot guys? And she's, yes, actually, dot, dot, dot. And then he doesn't write back. So she's like, all right, good night, pivot. You see my face? It's going well. Going well.

Open relationship, close communication. So it's the morning and they're all waking up and Natalia goes into Sandy's office and she's like, keep doing it. She goes, hello there. Oh God, sorry, I have a lot of energy because I just remembered we got that hot dog on board. It's really a banana, but it's pretending to be hot dog.

I know it's a banana on the inside. So what's going on? So she's like, is the new dick hand? Is that gonna be male or female? I just wanted to know which room to put the mean. And Sandy is like, well, you and Kyle are gonna be on the forward cabin. The cheese stew's gonna go share with Jess.

So God can't wait to see you and Kyle sharing confined space together. That's gonna be great for everyone on board, huh? Yeah, enjoy that. Morning, man. Morning. Oh, I have a cold room that yet. To our sim, are you buying it yet?

I'm gonna go, God, you're gonna heat this person. Can't wait to fire him. So, now the captain's like, oh my gosh. Oh, but hello, I got a buzz. Well, hello, officially chief stew. I'm so glad I got your visa. You got your visa. Will I be seeing you this afternoon? And tell you it's already freaking out.

It's great. Can't wait to see him person. So there's more cleaning. People like give some light goodbyes to broke. They're like, who is that girl? Did she forget to leave with the other guests? I don't know. So she leaves and she's, she wants to stand yawning. Okay, she wants to know. And then there's more cleaning and now here comes to me. To me's approaching. She's got a new hairstyle, which looks great on her. Love it. I love to me. Historically, I've always loved to me. So,

she's coming on and Natalia is saying, telling us that like they had a really successful first charter and she established a really good relationship with everyone and she's also set up this yacht to be close to perfect. So it's going to be really hard to hand over the reins to to me. And to me can't open the door, which is never a good time to start with. But then she figures it out and she says, Oh my God, I can't believe I'm going to be a chief stew for the first time and it's on this huge boat, like what the hell? But she goes up to say hi to Captain Sandy and she said, Oh, well, I just want to say they show like some of Tumi's greatest

hits for people who didn't watch the first season of below deck down under. And we see like Tumi being on top of everything, like Tumi doing this, to me doing that. And then I have this one clip where she goes, why can't we deconstruct the idea of a fondue bar? I don't know, I thought that was just like the funniest thing. Like she's going to be a great chiefs to. She deconstructed a fondue bar. Which by the way, isn't a fondue bar pretty much deconstructed already? It is.

Like what do you want now? Like to separate the milk fats from the cocoa? The cheese from the curds? It's pretty deconstructed. But okay. She goes to see the captain and the captain's like, oh wow, we missed you on the first charter, but guess what, good news.

Kyle's coming later. I don't think anybody's ever said that in Kyle's life. Good news. Kyle's coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm almost the, yeah. Frank, a little bit small.

So then, I'm coming. Frank. I'm coming, Frank. So, Sand, yeah, Sandy says that Captain Jason highly recommended to me. And so she's like, you know, she really likes that to me is focused and determined and works really hard.

And she's been Captain Jason a lot. She's giving Captain Jason credit. It makes me think they're going to end up hating each other. Yeah, I think this is, I'm worried that Tumi is going to have a bad season, because she has such a good season the first time. I'm worried. But I also blame it on Kyle. I'm going to blame, if Tumi has a bad season, I'm going to blame it on Kyle. And here is why, because Tumi is going around saying hi to everyone, and she says that she's worried about walking on this boat and being the new kid in town. Actually, this is not where I say here's why. The point

is that at some point here, Tumi says that Kyle told her about Natalia. And I think that therefore Tumi is coming on this boat with this set, like sort of poisoned by Kyle and thinking that she has to come on really hard with Natalia. And so I think that's gonna make Tumi look. And it's typical, and it's what Kyle does. It's what Kyle did last season he was on

was to constantly talk about Natasha to talk about Natalia to Natasha and try and turn it. And because she said lazy, she says that. And then turn everybody against each other. He's a master of chaos. Yes. So, so to me, it's an Natalia's helping Tumi with her bags, which ironically, I don't think her were Tumi's. And, uh, she's saying that she just flew in from Miami and then

I was like, oh my god. I don't think they're Tumi's. The brand. What? Tumi bag. Oh, I know. It was a point. What? These cool pun. Take bags off the dock. What are you talking about? Okay. So I'm glad I asked, because I was like, oh my gosh. I don't remember that about Tumey's season. She's just always using someone else's life. I just realized that by me pluralizing Tumey's, it's actually unlike I was saying,

I was accusing her of not having her own bags. I'm like, what is this? She's like, uh oh. Unfortunately, I've only got tuxedos to fair out. To me, stole someone's bags. You heard it here first. Well, what are you talking about? Okay, so that's like a brand of bag of to me's.

Yeah, to me, my brand. To me. Okay, so yeah, so Tali is helping her. And Tali is really going overboard. Well, no pun. She's really trying to go out of her way to be nice. She's like, oh, you should need help with your bags. I don't have fun.

Oh, help you with it. You're flowing in. Mo yemi. I know that's where I'm from. You live there. And to me, it's like, oh, no, I would never live in. Oh, I'm not. I'm not.

Natali is all mad about it. She's like, what the hell kind of I just said I live there. She's like, no, Natalia's all mad about it. She's like, what the hell kind of, I just said I live there. She's like, no, I'm way too good for that. But that's the way the exact sort of thing that Natalia would say to someone too. Oh, I never lived there. I just go thin, coil.

I love that you're already standing up for Tumi and not like literally nothing has happened. You're like, I'm Tumi, no matter what. And by the time you're being offended. I was team Tumi, I have a real crossroads because I was team Natalia last season. I'm team Tumi from last season last year. So I'm gonna have to see where this goes.

It's gonna be hard. So, Tumi's like not into this, right? So Natalia is still trying so now she Calls now they're gonna go for a tour okay, so Natalia's like this series what the lat the least used all right and To me updates as she's like you know I've been in the industry a short time But it's important to me that people respect my boundaries, because I've dealt with people just assuming I'm not capable in the beginning, because I'm not

a lot of people in yachting look like me, first of all. So you start on a different ground, right, where you have to kind of like assert yourself. And then this is where she tells us that she met Kyle at the consulate and Kyle was telling her he basically has ups and downs with Natalia, which means Kyle immediately fucking poised in her. Kyle sucks man. He sucks. I'm so hopeful that it's him who gets his ass handed to him. Yeah, so he, so to me, is like, I don't want to be disrespected, but I also don't want to demand respect. And that's where her struggle comes in. So they go on this tour, and there's some sort of minor scuffle

about a small basket full of sunhand lotion. And it's just like, is this our suntown lotion? Just yeah, but the best thing to do is to keep it here, because if the guest won it, then it's just right here, and to me it's like, no, I prefer not to do is to keep it here because if the guest won it, then it's just right here. And Tumi's like, no, I prefer not to do that. And Tami is like, okay, okay, you're going to make a stand on where we keep some sound

motion. Okay. Tami is like, but then the guest knows it's new. And Tumi is like, but they can open it and they can check it's new. I was like, this feels, but I don't really understand what's going on, but it feels tense. So then, then Tami opens up a drawer of silverware, which from our vantage point, kind of like a big drawer of loose silverware, but I'm sure it wasn't. Maybe just look like that, and she's showing them now.

There's a big pile of silverware. Okay, I thought I was maybe crazy. Okay, it was a pile of silverware, and then Natalia's still, I was like, so we keep glaces, we have some glaces of here, and we put the tumblers over there. We have one glasses, three one glasses, up one glasses upstairs and three down in the bilge, and occasionally we have some coasters, we sort of hide the coasters like a scavenger hunt, so that's kind of how we do it around here. And do me like, great, great.

And I'm just like, yes, so you know, on the chef's grate, he's got a lot of experience, so what do you think of the boat? And to me it's like, it's interesting. It reminds me of Harry Potter, which is funny that people keep bringing up Harry Potter. But actually in Toomey's case, it's very funny because the furniture really does look like it was dark blue with little stars all over it.

Yeah. So Natalia's like, well, you know what, talk about gratitude. The first shot I was wild with two people down, but it was really good. It was really good. I'm not saying that I kind of killed it. Being you, we're only two people, but I can't do it. And the shift's got amazing feedback.

He's really good and he's really chill. And to me, it's like, yeah, but it's only that it's only the only charter one though. And she's like, yeah, but he's got so much experience, but it's only charter one. Yeah, but look, he's like really good. Like he has, he's like a Harry Potter. It's Charter one. Every time she says Charter one, Natalia, like, it's like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Yeah. And she's like, well, what do you think though? And to me, it's like, well, the organization is a shit show or to you that.

Excuse me, can we the boat or ourselves? And she's no, no, no, the boat itself, the organization is, but she is still by proxy dissing Natalia, like you didn't get all this stuff better organized in the first charter, right? You're right. Natalia's like, well, actually, I was going to say, I think it's been going pretty well. And she's like, no, no, I'm not talking about you. I just mean the boat itself on me the way it's set up as a shit show. And Natalia's like very defensive about it. She's like, well, you know, I think it's amazing and like they've got like, service on each level and there's a glass on each level and

like everything's on like on one level. And to me it's like, I'm giving you my opinion though. And I'm telling you, this is how I feel. And Natia is, I'm tired. But you could get the glass, man, where you want on the boat. Oh, yeah. She's, all right, you don't need to get defensive. I'm not getting defensive, she says, well, you're getting offended, and I'm not offended you. The organization you've done is impeccable, and what you've done in a day is amazing.

Before you got on this vessel, the way that they set up the boat is not the way I would like to work on a boat, is all I'm saying. She says, oh, we're almost telling you it's been great. To me, it's like, great. I'm just giving my opinion. I'm just giving my opinion.

Right, well, I just think we've got service on every level. But I'm just giving you my opinion. I'm just giving you my opinion. I'm going to do the thing with my hand to show this is my circle, my hand to show it's my opinion. Oh, you don't need to do this to me with your hands. You don't need to do that. But thank you. Thank you, though. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is going to be bad.

This is going to be bad. I blame Kyle. I blame Kyle. Yeah, Kyle Poe is in the well right at the start. Yep. That's the theory. So we don't know what's going to happen next week, but didn't see preview. So we'll have to see. But yeah, always a, always a shit show on Blow Deck every single time. So, yeah, thanks everyone for being here and listening, and, um, thanks for coming to Crap Yover last night, and we'll catch you later. We got so many other recaps this week, so be sure to subscribe if you haven't. Bye! Watch what Crapins would like to think it's premium sponsors!

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